The School of Greatness - 586 The Keys to Persuasion and Powerful Self - Confidence with Ed Mylett

Episode Date: January 8, 2018

"THINGS HAPPEN FOR YOU, NOT TO YOU.” As you know my biggest goal is to serve you. I really dedicate every day to trying to help as many people as I can. When I get on a stage I try to speak to each individual person in the crowd. I try to reach out to every member of the audience and truly help them. I want them to take action, and leave with the tools they need to change their life. I’ve been fortunate enough to become friends with an amazing speaker that is of the same mindset - Ed Mylett. If you haven’t heard of Ed before, you’ve been missing out. “People respond to what they feel, not what they hear and see.” Ed started out with the dream of playing professional baseball. But like so many of us, an injury changed his course in life. Instead, his first job out of college was helping boys at a foster home who came from abused families. It’s here he found is life mission: to serve. He saw in the eyes of these boys that they just wanted what everyone wants - to be loved and appreciated. This ended up taking him down the road of servitude later in life. Today, Ed is one of the premier business leaders, peak performance experts, and motivational speakers in the world. He has a passion for mentoring and coaching others on what it takes to become a champion in all areas of life. He has shared the stage and has very close personal relationships with other business legends such as Tony Robbins, John Maxwell, Phil Knight and many others. Hear his insights on life, public speaking, and so much more on Episode 586. “The most important gift we can give someone is to be present” Some Questions I Ask: You wanted to be a professional baseball player, right? (10:45) Where are you from originally? (12:30) How to we permanently alter what we think we’re worth? (23:38) When did you realize things were really taking off? (32:43) How did you learn to persuade people so effectively? (35:53) How does someone believe in themselves? (38:28) How did you develop belief and confidence when you were failing? (40:34) Was there a time when you didn’t feel like you were a good person? (43:40) What would you say is your greatest asset? (46:19) How did you learn to present with passion and persuasion? (49:24) What have kids taught you about life? (55:19) What’s a question you wish more people would ask you? (59:29) In This Episode You Will Learn: How Ed learned to serve (13:00) Ways people sabotage themselves (21:23) How to associate and raise levels even with people who aren’t around you (26:35) Who you really learn from (27:22) The trouble Ed got in with police by trying to look rich (29:14) The biggest addiction today (40:07) The three types of speakers (50:52) The #1 thing speakers struggle with (53:07)

This is episode number 586 with Ed Milet. Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, a former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin. Muhammad Ali said that service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on earth.

Welcome everyone back to the School of Greatness podcast. If this is your first time here, then welcome to the community of greatness, podcast. If this is your first time here, then welcome to the community of greatness, of people who are thinking bigger, who are growth-minded, and who want to give back to their community and to the world. And if this is one of the many times you've been listening to the podcast, then welcome back. I always love knowing how many people come on here every single day to listen to these podcasts. We've got Ed Milet in the house. If you don't know who Ed is, he is someone I just met recently but have really enjoyed my time with him. And this is all about developing a powerful self-confidence,

understanding how to persuade the world, how to make a massive impact, how to build a financial abundance in your life as well, all these things we talk about. And Ed Milet, if you don't know who he is, he's one of the premier business leaders, peak performance experts, and motivational speakers in the world. He has a passion for mentoring and coaching others on what it takes to become a champion in all areas of life. He has shared the stage and has very close personal relationships with other business legends such as Tony Robbins, John Maxwell, Phil Knight, and many others. He also has a podcast, is a devoted husband and father, among many other things.

And we cover in this episode how to get through the loss of any big dream. We talk about his dream of playing professional baseball and the loss he went through and how he recovered and the powerful story and experience for two years that helped him transform his life forever. Also, what happens when you realize things happen for you and the power of the mind when you understand that. We go into why we sabotage ourselves when we become successful. And the identity that we associate with ourselves that either holds us back or pushes us forward. This is a powerful lesson as well. Also, how to alter your mindset about what you are actually worth. And we're not talking about faking until you make

it. We're talking about really how to alter the mindset about what you're worth. We talk about the keys to persuade anyone to do anything. The key to being successful in business is getting people to say yes to you, getting them to say yes to your products, your services. And if they don't say yes, then you don't have a business. The key to success in life, I would say, is persuading as well, getting people to buy in to who you are, to your values, to your skills, your assets, your mindset, your energy. People need to be able to buy into you. And if they don't buy into you, you're not going to have as successful opportunities in your life. So we talk about the keys to persuading anyone to do anything and also how to speak with passion and persuasion from the stage. Again, he speaks in front of 40 or 50,000 people at a time

from stage. And to access the type of energy to impact every human being in a room is a gift. And we talk about how to do that. But before we dive in, I wanna give a shout out to the fan of the week. This is over on iTunes. We get tons of reviews. If you haven't left a review yet, make sure to go there at lewishouse.com slash iTunes.

It'll take you right to the School of Greatness podcast. This is from Shreyanne who said, I love spending time with Lewis each week. The School of Greatness podcast. This is from Shreyan who said, I love spending time with Lewis each week. The School of Greatness with Lewis is the perfect blend of motivation, encouragement, and wisdom. He brings on such amazing guests who all have a unique perspective on how to optimize life, challenge yourself, love, and serve others, as well as to achieve your goals. And Lewis is genuine and sincere. Each episode makes it feel like he recorded that episode just for you. After listening

each week, I know what time it is. It's time to go out there and do something great. So Shreyan, thank you so much for your review. You are the fan of the week. It means a lot to me. And if you guys want a chance to be shouted out on the podcast, just head over to the iTunes app or the app on your phone and leave a review right now. But without further ado, I am super pumped and excited for this. Again, this is something that a lot of you are requesting. So many of you posted when I had an image of Ed on my Instagram. You were like, I can't wait to hear this interview. So without further ado, let me introduce to you the one, the only, Ed Milet. Welcome back, everyone, to the School of Greatness podcast.

We have the legendary Ed Milet in the house, my man. Great to be here. So good to see you again. You too. You were just here a few weeks ago. And for those who don't know, Ed is one of the premier business coaches, leaders, motivational speakers, trainers in the world. And I just found out about you a few months back when I was at Coeur d'Alene, a lake in

Idaho, at Julianne and Brooks' wedding, a friend of mine's wedding. And we were on a boat wakeboarding one day, wake surfing. And we drive by the bay and they're like, this is this massive gargantuan house that is like copper topped and like gold edges and waterfalls with unicorns like spouting out gold. Unicorns. It was like this amazing property.

It was really, it was the most inspirational property that I saw in the bay, at least. I wasn't able to go around the whole lake. But this is a really nice lake. And they were like, this is guy Ed. We don't even know what he does, really. But he's like a speaker or a trainer. He's in your space.

And I was like, what do you mean he's in my space? He's in your space. He's in your space. I'm like, I've never heard this guy's name before. And that was my first introduction to you. It was like the mythical creature of Ed Milet. The legend. I need to add those unicorns.

Yes. Yeah, I need to fill the unicorns. Unicorns with water coming out of the unicorn, right? I'll make note of that for sure. And that's when I first heard about you. And I didn't really look into it too much more. I think I might have Googled you. And I was like, I don't know who this guy is.

But then I think over the last few months, I can't remember if into it too much more. I think I might have Googled you and I was like, I don't know who this guy is. But then I think over the last few months, I can't remember if someone reached out and mentioned you or you reached out or we connected through social media. I can't remember specifically. I don't recall either. Then we connected. Well, I knew you prior from Tony Robbins.

So Tony had told me about you for the better part of a year and Tony was on my show in Coeur d'Alene. He also lives up there in the summertime too. Okay, awesome. So I knew you prior to you, you know, and me. Got it, yeah. But you've had a much more incredible career than me.

So I'm excited to dive in to learn more about you and share. And actually, when you were here last time interviewing me for your show, which makes sure everyone goes and checks out, I posted a little photo of us and I had 20, 30 messages of people like, Ed is amazing. I can't wait for this interview. Oh, wow. So people were really excited who are following me.

So I said, I've got to bring this guy back. I'm excited. I love you. I told you, you're sincere spirit, man. You're a genuine soul. And so anything I can do with you, I enjoy and want to do. Thanks, man. Thank you.

Thank you. I'm excited. And you wanted to be a professional baseball player, is that right? Yeah. But then you had an injury. I did. Similar to me. So you never made it to the big leagues?

Or did you play minor league for a little bit? I did, yeah. And I played Division I college baseball too. Yeah, like every guy. Like you and I talked about this last time. It's always our injuries that ended our careers. It probably put me into a premature place where I was going anyways. I don't know that I was probably.

You weren't going to be in the bigs for. I wasn't. I played enough baseball with guys who ended up in the big leagues to know my limitations. And so like anything in life, things happen for you, not to you. That injury happened for me. It certainly didn't seem like it at the time, but it got me out of that and into something like what we're talking about now that completely changed my life. So yeah, but yeah, I wanted to be an athlete for sure. All my life, all your life. That was my mask. And then when it, exactly. And then when

it ended, your identity was like, who am I, right? Yes. Lost. Yeah. You and I were just talking about this before we went on. Yeah. Our professional athlete friends were their career changes. Like anybody, like whatever your dream is, when the first one ends and doesn't happen, whether that be a relationship, it could be your marriage, it ends. It was a dream, right?

Or a business venture or a sport. I went into a pretty good depression. And how old were you at the time? 21, 22. Because people always see the after, like the house or whatever, houses or whatever the material things are. But I ended up bad, man. I ended up depressed.

I ended up moving back at home with my parents. I was living in the same, I remember sleeping in the same bed I grew up in with the same teddy bear, the same posters on the walls. I was going back in time, like six years. I'm back where I was, totally unemployed and couldn't find work. Didn't have the motivation to get up and find a job. Just sort of eating out of their fridge and laying around all day. So that's where I was many, many years ago after baseball.

And did you finish college as well? I did. Finished college. Got my degree. And then we're back home for a bit. Where was home? Home is Southern California. Diamond Bar, California back home for a bit. Where was home? Home is Southern California. Diamond Bar, California is where I grew up.

Where is that? Border of LA and Orange County. Oh, okay. Kind of middle America. About an hour away or what? Yeah. If there's no traffic, we could get there in an hour today. Right now, it'd take us three hours.

Chino Hills area or what? Right there. Yeah. In fact, right next to Chino Hills. Corona, Chino Hills. Yeah. Yeah. Very good.

That's where I live. My girlfriend's from. That's why I know that area. She is? Yeah. I lived in Chino Hills for about eight years. Wow, yeah. After I became relatively okay in business.

Wow. Yeah. Amazing. I know that area. That's cool. So you stayed at home for a while, and then did you instantly get into the financial services or think, I'm going to be selling life insurance and these types of services? Or what was your vision?

Last thing I ever wanted was to be in the financial service. I have no background in that, no degree in that. I didn't have any interest in it. I knew nothing about it. So no, another blessing happened, another thing like God's favor, right? So I'll give you the Reader's Digest version because it's everything. When you realize things in your life happen for you truly, especially in hindsight. Everybody knows it in hindsight, right?

If you look back at any disaster, tragedy, most people look back five, 10 years later, they go, that happened for me. That was actually a good thing. And so I was unemployed. I couldn't find a job. And my old man, my dad was the best dad role model you could ever have in your life. Hardworking man, good man. It's a better man than me. Has more integrity than me. He's the best man I've ever known. But when I was growing up, my dad had a drinking problem. And so my dad had gotten sober recently and he was going to these meetings and he comes home from one of his meetings and says, there's a guy at my meeting who can get you a job. And it's right down the street in San Dimas. You're going to be working with kids. Doesn't pay anything at six bucks an hour, but you're going to get this damn job. So show up there

tomorrow morning, 8am, ask for Tim. So I walked, I drive down there. It's a place called McKinley home for boys. Little did I know that would alter my entire life. That was the most significant thing that happened to me. And so I walk in there, I said, I'm Ed Milet. I'm here for the job. They're like, what job? I'm like, I don't know. Just my dad told me to show up here and I need to ask for Tim. They're like, we have no idea who the hell Tim is. What's his last name? I said, I don't know his last name. And they're like, so you showed up for a job that you don't know what it is and you don't know who it is that's hiring you. I'm like, here's what I know. He's an alcoholic. I'm like, oh, Tim. Yeah, we know that Tim. And so they bring me to the guy and he says, you're hired. Let's go. Like literally

shakes my hand and you're hired. And he introduces me to these eight boys that were my boys. They were seven, eight and nine years old. And basically I lived with these boys, these precious boys. And we ended up adding a few more. My boys were all wards of the court. They were all molested by family or parents were in prison. And so they had no family. And so my whole life changed. All of a sudden, I'm this 22-year-old guy. These guys become my sons. And I did holidays with them. I did birthdays with them. I lived with them.

Literally in a home or like a boarding dorm? McKinley is a massive campus full of children that have been displaced from their homes that live in individual cottages. Like a foster care facility. Massive, though. Really? Yep, all boys. It's foster care facility. Massive though. Really? Yep. All boys. It's in San Dimas here. And it just altered my life, man, because I'd been an athlete,

had a huge ego, had that mask. I wanted to compete. I wanted to win. I wanted attention. I wanted recognition. First time literally in my life, I went, wow, I love helping people. I love making a difference. And my boys were just come from horrendous situations. And so just, I always say this all the time, and I have those eyes too. You have them. I think sometimes kids who grow up with some dysfunction, they just have different eyes. They just have these eyes that are, these boys all were different, but they had that same eyes. They're just like, man, love me, believe in me, you know, care about me. And I had those eyes because I grew up in an alcoholic family. And my whole life changed. I just went, wow, I love, I actually love helping people and being involved in people's lives.

I didn't know that because everything was, you're great, you're great. You know what it is when you're an athlete, right? Everything's about you. You're amazing. Free dinners, free this. You're a stud. All of a sudden, I wasn't a stud. And all of a sudden, it wasn't about me.

It was about these 10 boys that ended up being 10 of them. And it just altered my life, man. And so after that, I ran into the financial business that I ended up in. But I would have completely flunked out of that financial business had I not been with my boys for those years. And I was there for two years. Two years? Yeah, man.

Like eight hours a day type of thing? Sometimes more. Sometimes 16, 18. I'm not kidding you. I think about my boys and my experience there. Two of them are still very close with me. Every day, there's a moment where I reflect on that. It altered me completely, like what I wanted to do. I always wanted to be famous and rich and successful. And now I just wanted to serve. I wanted to help. Little did I find out I could get rich and famous and all that other stuff I thought I wanted through serving people. And so it just altered me, man, big time. Wow.

Yeah. That's a powerful story. Thank you. How are those kids doing now? One of my boys is gone. He was killed, one of my boys. And the rest of them are all stand-up members of society. Two of my boys, I would say, have become very, very successful men.

I saw all the stuff that comes in that environment, too, like the over-medication. I'd be handing them these pills, and I'd watch them normal, and then them change. Their states change. Them get slow and sluggish. And it makes you appreciate the things in your own life that you have. Oh, someone always has it worse. Here's what I found out, ironically. Those kids aren't different than other people in the sense that every single human being

wants you to love them and care about them and believe in them. Even the most macho dudes in the world, the way you connect is that you just love that person and care about them and believe in them. The most famous pro athlete buddies of both of ours. The reason we're people, how do you know these guys? How are you friends with them? Cause I don't worship them. I love them and care about them and believe in them. And even they want that. They're no different than my nine-year-old boy at McKinley. I figured out all humans want to connect. All humans want love and connection. All humans want you to care about

them and believe in them and help them. And I've just not forgotten it. Like all of a sudden, it's not just these boys. I could do this with my business partners, with my clients, with people that I meet, with guys like you when I meet them. And so I'm always just conscious of even a stud like you, all the attention you get, the fame, all that. You still want people to love you, to believe in you, to care about you, to, you still want people to love you, to believe in you, to care about you, to help you, right? First thing you said to me today, how can I help you, man? What can I do for you? What can I give? How can I serve you? It's just a rare soul, right? And so you- I gave you a bottle of champagne.

By the way, what's really good that you don't drink, because you have no idea how damn expensive that bottle was, is a really good bottle so anyway that's cool man i really like that and so how did the transition from working with these kids to financial services come about did someone scout you and recruit you or i was working there while my best friend ended up being best man at my wedding his dad had left his job to go to work for the company at the time and said hey i think your background in athletics, you're competitive, you seem to like people, I think you'd be good at this. And so I kept my job at McKinley. And part-time, I started in the financial services industry and started to build a team of people and started to get my licenses and that transition. And I struggled like every

upstart entrepreneur does. It takes like three to five years until you really get a few clients, you know. In any business, I don't care if it's financial services, tech, dry cleaners, entrepreneurs, the first five years is just full of false starts. You get it going, then you don't. You get it going, you take a step forward, you take three back. It's constant false starts.

It's constantly thinking you have it going. It's constantly negotiating in your mind the price you're paying. Is it worth it? Should I quit? Should I give in? I spent the first five years daily contemplating quitting all the time. Because it's not fun. It wasn't fun. There's just a part of you, I think, in anything you're doing when you're struggling. Is this really for me? Is this my destiny? Should I be doing this? And we misread failure from some sign. Is this a sign I shouldn't be doing it?

Is this a sign I am not cut out for this? Instead of looking for signs that you can win, right? And so I spent the first five years literally trying to find ways to quit, trying to find ways to get out, struggling and struggling and struggling. And I went broke. I lost a car. I had the water turned off in my place. I bought out my first house.

I ended up having it foreclosed on eventually. So I'm not that house with the unicorns that you saw, right? Or my beach place. That's all the after. People don't realize that there were just years and years of grinding and struggling and worrying in the beginning. And then I made some mental changes and some shifts that altered my life then again. You have a great video on YouTube talking about your inner identity. And you're talking about a six handicap. I'm not sure if you're still at a six handicap.

I'm worse. You're worse now? Yeah. But you're talking about in this video the identity we have and how sometimes when we start to see some momentum, we'll sabotage it to go back to the identity we think we're in. We see growth. We see an opportunity.

Wow, I can't believe this person wants to interview me or I could get you on this show. Or I remember going on Ellen the first time and being like, who am I to be on this show? And was terrified. I'm sure. And it took a minute to kind of get in the flow and be like, you know what?

Don't sabotage this. Just enjoy it. Right. Just like do the best and that's all I can ask for. That's so true. And you get better every time you get into those situations. But I think a lot of us sabotage and just stay stuck in the same spot. Well, the hard part about that too, is that you're so right. So there's this governor on our lives and it is a governor and it's a, it's your identity. It's this internal, it's what you think you're worth. It's what you think you deserve. And the problem for good people, see, we all know someone right now in our life or we have

who's not ethical, who's not a good person, who's winning. And you're like, I can't believe they're getting it, right? Why can't I? I'm a good person. I treat people well. I'm honest. Here's the reason why. By the way, the unethical person, eventually karma, you reap what you sow, comes home to roost. But if you're a good person, this is so important people understand this, because it took me a long time. A good person in any endeavor will only take from it what they think they deserve, what they think they're worth. In other words, if there was a pizza here, you're a good person. You don't take all 12 pieces. A good person thinks there should be an equitable distribution. I'm a little bigger, so I might take seven or eight.

And I would arm wrestle you for it. I don't know about that. You're a moose. But long story short, what is is that a good person will not take more from the table of life than they think they're worth or they think they deserve. And so you have this governor on your identity. So what happens is it's like a thermostat. Our lives get going. We start doing really well. If we're a 75-degreer and our life gets to 85 and 90 degrees, unconscious. We start doing really well. If we're a 75-degreer and our life gets to 85 and 90 degrees, unconsciously we go, we don't know we're doing it. We start to cool life back down to get it back to where we're comfortable. The reverse is also true. When things start to go really bad and you're broke and you're struggling, you find a way to heat

your life back up to what you think you're worth and you deserve. So the way we alter our life is sure we got to alter our behavior and our relationships and our circumstances. But the only way it's permanent is that we alter that governor, that thermostat. And we start to believe we're worth 85 degrees of life, 95 degrees of life, 110 degrees of life. And there's ways we can alter that. How do we alter it? A couple different ways. A, one is what you just said, is that you put yourself in circumstances that are demanding of you past what you think your capacity is. And when you succeed at them, you build a new water line. You do. You throw yourself out there past where you're comfortable, and you do an 85-degrees behavior, and you knock it out of the park.

And you go, your brain starts to believe it. Repetitiously, when you start doing that, you build a new line. Now you're 85 degrees. That's number one. The second way, though, is association. If you're around people and whatever that endeavor is, if it's a sport you're in or if it's a business or your faith or your peace, if you begin to associate with people who live in that space at a higher temperature than you, through association, you get heated up. And so if you're an athlete, for example, you're a 70-degree athlete and you

start training all the time with 85 and 90-deg 90 degrees, your identity through osmosis goes up. If you're a person who's trying to improve their faith in their life or their personal peace about them, you all know this. You've seen it. When you start to hang around people that are a little bit more peaceful than you or meditate a little bit more through that association, over time, the thermostat changes in that area. And so it's both behaving in a certain way and then your associations usually change. Yeah, I believe that. I trained with the USA National handball team for many years. And there were great players on our team, on the USA team,

but a lot of them weren't at a world-class level. And so I was playing with good players, but they couldn't teach me new things, right? So I decided I was going to go to Spain for about a week and a half to play with one of the top professional teams in Spain because I just wanted to see if I could play with them and what it was like to train at that level. And, man, the level of intensity was so high with these guys.

The training, the lifting, the on-court experience, it was so much faster. It felt 10 times faster. First two days, I was like, what am I doing? And just messing up, dropping the ball, messing up constantly. But then towards the end, I was like, man, I could play on this team. I can be on this team. And they offered me a contract to play the whole season. Really? Now, I was just doing so much of my business that I couldn't stay for the next four months in Spain.

So I came back. It's about four years ago, four and a half years ago. It was that recent? Yeah, about four years ago. Wow. Because I wanted to play professionally in Spain. And I just had too much going on here that I brought it back. But right when I came back- It ended up being the right move though. Yeah, it was the right move. And right when I came back and I was playing with the team again, I just felt like another level. I felt another level of confidence, proficiency, effectiveness. I just felt like I was at another level. Well, you combined both. You did both of the things, right?

Surrounded yourself with people. You surrounded yourself. So you were at a different level of association. And you extended your level of play by having to play at their level, right? So you did both things. So boom, you're altered big time. And in 10 days, my confidence went up a whole other level. And I'd been playing for four or five years already.

That's incredible. Just like 10 days of a shift. I can imagine playing a whole season. I'd be a completely different player. And that's why I like your content too, because I think also the way you do that is associating at distances. So like when I read a book, I don't just kind of read the words. I pretend that I'm living with that author for that week. And I'm associating with that author. Like they're my friend during that week. I don't just read their words. I try to associate with them for the full value to affect me. That's why the programs you offer, the books you've written,

that's another way to alter identity. Because unless you just read it for the content, but if you read it to associate with Lewis, you read it to associate with Napoleon Hill, you read it to associate with Wayne Dyer or whoever it is that you're reading, that's when it can really alter you. It's just a slightly different perspective on following someone on Instagram or going to a program or reading is just associate with them. Call them your friend because, and this is the last thing I'll say on that, the highest form of influence that we have isn't like associations. It's friends. If you think about it with your kids, right? If you have children, who do you really worry about them hanging around? So their

teachers, their teachers are associations, mentors, right? That's a mentor. And they sculpt them and shape them and help improve their lives. But who really do they behave like? They behave like they're friends. And so I don't want mentors. I want friends. And so even if I'm reading one of your books, you're my, like when I met you, I was already familiar with you. I felt a kindred spirit ship with you, like because I had already, I already was your friend,

even though you didn't know it. You were my mentor. Mentors are school teachers. I want friends. And so even if it's from a distance, even if I have to pretend it, that's where I let the influence happen to me, change my identity.

Yeah, that's cool. I'm curious now, again, you started the new industry in the financial services. Young agent, 23, 25 years old, however old you are. Right in there. Going to class to get your licenses and all these things. I remember doing this as an intern for Northwestern Mutual Life. I can't remember what they were called now. They tried to hire me too.

Did they? Yeah, I was almost meant to work for them. And man, those classes, it's hard for me to study those things. I passed on the third try. Me too. Three times. And if you fail on the third one, you have to wait a year or something. And I was like, I was like sweating. Me too. That's funny. So you did that. And then when did you really start to realize like, oh, I'm actually making some money. Like I'm taking off. I'm building like my agency within this company and oh, I'm not poor some money. I'm taking off. I'm building my agency within this company. And oh, I'm not poor.

I made $100,000. And now I'm doubling that. And it's growing. Yeah, that's a great question. Because I made $100,000 my third year, but I was still poor. And so it's interesting that you say that. Because I thought, wow, when I get to $100,000, then I'm really going to be rich.

Then I'm really successful. But I didn't equate taxes and putting money back into my business and my overhead and those things. You're buying suits and you're buying other stuff that's like- That's exactly what it was. Then I had to have all this. I got to tell you the funniest thing. I wanted to look rich so badly when I was young that I couldn't, you're not going to believe this. This is a true story. I could not afford a real Mercedes. And at the time there were these kit cars out. And so I found on AutoTrader. So remember this. I'm buying my suits. I'm trying to look successful. I'm this young goofball

entrepreneur. And I found an $8,000 Chrysler LeBaron that had been converted into a Mercedes Benz 500 SL. I swear. With a kit. With a kit on it. Except this thing was so poorly put together, it was Velcroed. I'm not kidding you. it was Velcroed on. So remember, they stripped down a LeBaron, the inside's still a LeBaron, and the frame, I'm not kidding you, the frame of the car was a Velcroed together kit car. And I spent 8,000 bucks on this thing. Wow. And I drove that sucker to clients' houses with my agents trading them. And the best thing about this car is the most embarrassing two years of my life because first off, it was about three feet longer than a real Mercedes.

So people who really knew Mercedes, when they would drive by me on the freeway, they're pointing at me and laughing. I'm just driving along in my cheap men's club suit. But when I would stop at stoplights, I would stop at a stoplight. If I stopped too soon, the front light would fall out of the car

because the Velcro would come off and I'd have to get out of the car at the light, pick the light back up, Velcro it back onto the car at the intersection. A constant battle with this thing falling apart as I would drive it. Picture this. And so I finally, quick story, I get pulled over in Lodi, California, and this cop pulls me over, and I've got all my agents. We're at a retreat, so I've got like 15 cars behind me. I'm driving my Mercedes that they all think is a Mercedes. And I get pulled over and the cop pulls me over.

So all my agents pull beside me on this country road and they watch the cop kind of interact with me. And all of a sudden the guy goes, get out of the car. I said, why am I getting out of the car? He goes, you know exactly why you're getting out of this car. Imagine this. So you saw Coeur d'Alene and the beach house and the jets. That's not the real me at the time. This is me, right? This is where I start. And so he gets me out of the car. Imagine this. So you saw Coeur d'Alene and the beach house and the jets. That's not the real me at the time. This is me, right? This is where I start. He gets me out of the car.

He handcuffs me. He puts me in the back of my car and all my agents are watching this. I swear, man. And so finally he comes over. He goes, you know why you're back here? I said, I have no idea. I wasn't speeding. I didn't run a stop sign. He said, this is a stolen car. We ran the plates. I'm like, did they not title the car when I bought it? And then about 20 minutes later, I'm back in the car. Oh my gosh. The plates say this is a Chrysler LeBaron, except he's looking at a Mercedes. So I finally called the cop over to the car. I go, officer, he's got three police officers now with him, three cars. I go, sir, that's really not a stolen car. He's where he goes, stop it. It's a Chrysler. I said, sir, if you will go pull on the door of my car, if you'll just pull the door,

it'll come right off. It's Velcroed on there. He's just staring at me like, are you, is this turning into a DUI? I'm like, no, sir, really, that's not a Mercedes. It's a Chrysler LeBaron. I watch him walk over with the other officer. They look at the car. They kind of look at each other. And he goes, poof. And he pulls my door off the car. Amazing. And he holds it up.

No way. And all the officers fall out laughing on the side of the road. And he's spinning my car door in his hand. And he comes back over and gets me out of the car and sticks the door back on my car. And I drive off into the sunset. So I was a fake it till you make it big time. You've never had that story on your show. That's good. I like that. I never had that story on it. That's true story. So when did things start taking off for you then? I started to save some money in my

mid to late twenties. And then I was smart with that money. By the time I was 30, I was making a seven figure income. By the time I was 40, I was making an eight figure. And this was from selling life insurance or other financial services? Financial services. My organization does all kinds of different financial instruments, life insurance, investments, those things. And then I built a big team. So the reason I was intrigued by my firm,

and I'm not here to pitch my firm, was that it was in the industry but not of it. It's completely different. We recruit and train and develop people that would never get into financials. There's a lot of former athletes, coaches, stay-at-home moms, real estate people, people from all backgrounds that most of us, probably 99% of the people at my firm probably would have never got involved at the firm we mentioned earlier, the traditional firm. It's sort of a non-traditional organization. The theory being that most people don't want to sit down with

a buttoned-up financial guy who speaks in a bunch of words you don't understand. They'd rather sit down with someone that's like them. It's like, hey, I come from the same neighborhood you do, same issues. I got some debts. I'm a little bit broke. I don't know how any of this stuff works either. Let me explain it to you in a language you can understand. So that's sort of how I built my business was with recruiting agents. Yeah, I'd say recruiting agents, but more like a grassroots, kind of like the difference between a traditional campaign and the presidential run. But you look at guys like Obama and Trump, it's more grassroots. It's more driven from the real people in a community as opposed to the old traditional way of doing things. And that was sort of how I looked at the financial industry.

There's this old traditional industry. There's 50 of these companies. They're all the same. We're going to build more of a grassroots movement that's kind of real people helping real people type of education. So it just exploded. It's exploded. And so it's become pretty successful. And so you would have your own clients, but also you were getting a piece of the agents you brought in, their clients. Developing and training agents. Yeah, absolutely. And so that's kind of what helped you kind of take off over the next decade essentially, right? Yeah. And you're still in that business today as a part of it.

I am. I'm what they call an agency chairman. Yep. So I still am fully engaged in that business. I love that business. I love the, I tell you what I love. I love people. So the same agents that I have, there are clients, or if I'm speaking somewhere outside or it's the same thing, people want to be loved, cared for, believed in. I just mean that, right? And so now I've done that. As you know, I buy and sell a lot of real estate too. And so I've got other businesses that I'm now in.

But my primary business, my passion, my life is still that business. Yeah. And what's it called again? World Financial Group. And there's a website if people want to check it out. Oh, sure. World Financial Group. You can just go check me out on Instagram. You can a website if people want to check it out. Oh, sure. World Financial Group. You can just go check me out on Instagram.

You can message me if you want to. Now, one of the main things that I learned from my father being in insurance for 30 plus years with Northweather Mutual was all about relationships and overcoming objections. You're constantly building relationships, and you need to get them to say yes. You do. For you to make any money ever at anything, you need to get people to say yes, right? Yes. And you have a video about persuasion and getting people to yes as well, which I really

appreciate it because this applies to any industry and any career and getting a job, getting a boyfriend, a husband, whatever it is. Yes. You got to persuade people. You do. How did you learn how to persuade people so effectively to buy your services and be part of your team when there's marketing and branding and commercials and everyone else is trying to do the same for them?

Yeah. What is your key to persuasion without being sleazy or salesy? Like, I'm a salesman. I can't stand that, right? Like, they blink three times. That's a buying signal. Go for the jugular or whatever. I can't stand that stuff. So persuasion in anything. So if you want to persuade your children, if you want to persuade someone to take a look at your faith, if you want to persuade

someone in business, if you want to persuade someone to help you in anything or help them in anything, it's real simple for me, monster belief. And so you can't transfer to me that which you're not experiencing yourself, right? So you can't give to me that which you're not experiencing yourself, right? So you can't give me a, people are always trying to come up with a magic word, the magic clothes, the magic this. And there are words you should and shouldn't use in persuasion, no question about it, right? There are words that are more effective than other words. And clearly to be successful in any business, you need to know what those words are in your business. But the best persuaders, the best motivators, the best speakers, the best physicians, the best school teachers,

the best parents are incredible persuaders. And what they do is they come from a monster place of conviction and belief that they can transfer you to because people respond to energy much more than they do words. They respond to what they feel, not what they hear and see. Hear and see are real low-level influencers. Energy, spirit, transfer of energy is what people respond to. And so I'm cognizant all the time of getting in a state of total belief and certainty about what it is that I'm going to represent or if I'm speaking on stage about a particular topic and then transferring that energy into people. And that seems generic or hokey, but it's actually what great persuaders do. In fact, if you're listening to this, you think of anybody that you know, who's incredibly persuasive. They may have great words. They probably do, but it's something you

feel from them, right? And that's the difference between a great doctor and a so-so doctor. Great doctor says, here's the prescription. You're out of here. Another one- Is this going to work or not? I don't know. Another one, you leave there feeling that you're going to be healed, feeling you're in good hands. You feel their certainty. You feel their confidence. Same when you hear a speaker, if you're buying real estate from somebody. But it's not just buying things. It's a great pastor in a church, a great person if you do TM who's taught you TM. It's their certainty. It's the energy you feel. And so for me, it's always getting to, I have to really believe what I'm saying.

I have to really feel it to transfer it to you, which is why we were talking earlier. There's just a bunch of products I don't offer and won't offer in my business because I don't believe in them. And so I won't offer them. I have to believe in what I'm doing. So that to me is energy transfers persuasion.

And so how does someone develop belief when they don't already believe in themselves? Great question. How do they develop belief in themselves? Yeah, if they don't already believe in themselves, I don't know what I want to do. I don't know what I'm convicted in. I don't know. I don't have the skills. I don't have the experience. How do I create that belief? You do. First off, self-confident people. So how do we build self-confidence? Because that's what your belief. Okay. When I meet somebody self-confident, here's what I know about them. They've built a reputation with themselves, so they don't need to build a reputation with other people. Okay. So if you're

really- What do you mean by that? They honor their own word? You got it. The key to self-confidence is really simple. I've trained hundreds of thousands of people. I've spoken to millions of people around the world. I could tell you this. The self-confident people I know, whether they are athletes, school teachers, mechanics, parents, stay-at-home moms, you name it, they have a pattern of keeping promises they make to themselves. The groundwork of beginning to build self-confidence is to begin to keep the promises you make to you. And that's why it's important to begin to even make small promises.

If you're going to get up at a certain time in the morning, not only do it, but then give yourself credit. Say, I did what I said I was going to do. If it's in your diet or your fitness, don't just eat the healthy foods. Go, I'm doing what I said I was going to do. You begin to build this reputation. If you're constantly being influenced and moved by what other people think about you, it means there's a deficiency in what you think about you. And so the key is not some esoteric belief system. It's a pattern of keeping the promises that you make to you. That's

the groundwork of self-confidence for sure. And it is a pattern. When I meet people that lack confidence, I think, let me serve you. Let's begin to keep the promises you make to you. You're so worried about, there's this addiction to other people's approval in the world, right? It's the greatest addiction today. It used to be drugs. Before that, it was alcohol. There's all these addictions, sex addictions, whatever. The number one addiction in the world today is the addiction to other people's approval. And that's because we don't approve of ourselves. Or we don't feel a spirit, a universe, a God that we believe in that approves of us.

And so my confidence comes from both my faith and in the fact that I keep promises I make to myself. That's the groundwork of all confidence to me. keep promises I make to myself. That's the groundwork of all confidence to me. Yeah. How did you develop this sense of belief and confidence early on then when you were failing in the financial services? Yeah. I had to separate from outcome. So you weren't getting the results. Yeah. Everything for me initially was contingent upon outcomes and results. And I know there are people in our space that say, hey, get your money. You got to get this. You got to do that. And that's easy to say because they've already built tremendous self-confidence. But most people watching that go, OK, but how do I do that?

And so I had to start to take some solace, some confidence in the fact that I was behaving in a way requisite to eventually produce success, right? And so I started to give myself credit. I started to work on my identity. I started to read the right books, listen to the right things. And for me, it starts with my body. Like I couldn't control what other people would say to me, but I could control that I got up and worked out. I could control that I moved my body. There's something that we've both learned from Tony about just literally moving our bodies physically changes our state. And like everybody hears that, but I actually do it. I

really believe it's hard to get depressed. It's hard to not believe in yourself. I was at the gym today. I was watching this couple of very odd dudes. They were just sort of really dancing. And the first part of me was like judging them. Like, these guys are so weird, you know, in public. But then I thought, you know what? That's not right.

These guys are in a great, joyful, blissful state, right? These are not depressed guys. These are not guys lacking self-confidence. And so often the way we move our bodies can change that too. And so the answer for it was I started to keep the promises I made to me separated from outcome. It's nothing wrong with having goals and outcomes. But if your outcomes and goals define you, whether you get them or you don't get them, you will have a hollow life. In other words, if you're defined by the goals you achieve, you actually get them, and you think that's going to make you happy and define you, you're going to lose. And at the other hand,

if you constantly define yourself by the fact that you aren't achieving your goals and outcomes, you're going to lose both of obsessing over outcomes will lead to a pretty hollow existence. But if I can, if I can be from a place of my intent, my behaviors, I finally figured out my intentions are good. I'm a good dude. I'm a good person. And you know what? I'm trying to do good. I'm trying to improve my life. I'm trying to help people. And I keep promises that I make to myself. Both of those things were the stimulus for me to be, because I'm a naturally, I think you're probably this way too. I'm a naturally incredibly insecure person. I think everybody has insecurities. I think I was dosed at birth with more of them

than a normal person. I'm introverted. I'm shy. All of those things, I think growing up in a family that had some dysfunction just added to my insecurity. And so usually when you meet somebody who's incredibly confident, like the people would think you and I are, I always know they probably came from a further place. These are people who really had to work on themselves. I really had to do this stuff because I was so low on the totem pole in terms of self-esteem. I had to really figure out how to change this stuff. And what ends up happening is like any muscle you build, I built a pretty big muscle of self-confidence over time because I had to train it so badly. Yeah. Over and over. Wow. What was a time in your life that you felt like you weren't a good person or is there a time? I want to assume that there. No, absolutely.

If there was, what was that time and what were you going through? Great question. Many times I felt like I'm not a good person. My temper gets the better of me. And I think if I look back at the early part of my career, in fact, I was so harsh on people, so critical of people. And then once I had children, I thought- You demanded results probably. Not only did I demand results, but in all candor, I was mean and demeaning and harsh. People who have powerful tongues for the positive, typically that's a double-edged sword.

They can use it to be very hurtful too. And so when I was young, I would ransack the room and I hurt people. And so very much so early in my career, if you asked me, was I a good dude? No, I was too hard on people. Once I had kids, I thought, I remember one night my son was a baby and I had one of those nights where I sort of just destroyed a couple people in a meeting with my words. Yeah. And I thought, if someone ever talked to my son like that. I was in the car driving home.

I thought, what if someone spoke to Max the way I spoke to this man? What's wrong with me? That's horrible. This is a human being. And so I think I've become so the other way. As you know, I'm very encouraging. I try to be very kind and generous because I haven't always been. I've seen the results. I know what it looks like on someone's face when I'm very encouraging. I try to be very kind and generous because I haven't always been. I've seen the results.

I know what it looks like on someone's face when I've hurt them. I don't ever want to do that to somebody. So that was a time where I wasn't a good person. I think times where I shortchange my friends or family, I'm being present with them. In other words, I have to work really hard at being present when I'm with people because I am a busy person, right? Yeah, you've got 1,000 people who are texting you and calling you. You need support, right? Like you do. And so the most important gift I can give, we can all give another person is to be present, to be engaged with them. And so there are times even now where

my children will leave the room and I thought, I missed that moment. That wasn't good. That wasn't a good dad. I've made them feel like whoever was on my phone was more important than them. We all make those mistakes. What I do now have though, is I acknowledge it and see it pretty soon. I know I'm going to screw up. I'm aware of, I think really successful people, not materially, but just in terms of happiness are incredibly self-aware. And when I was young, I was not self-aware. And as I've become older and met more people and had great friends and mentors and experiences, I think I've become older and met more people and had great friends and mentors and experiences, I think I've become more aware of myself and my deficiencies. I have tons of

deficiencies. I'm just really aware of them so they don't hurt as many people as they used to. Yeah. What would you say is your greatest asset, skill? I love people, man. I care about people. I sincerely do. And so whether that's, yeah, I mean, I want to help you. I want to, people say, how do you get back to all these people on social media? I care. You and I have talked about that fact. Like, I really, my intent is good, man. I want to make a difference in the world.

We're all put here for a reason. And it sounds hokey. Like, I've made a lot of money. Like, I'd like to make more money, but it's not really a driver It sounds hokey. I've made a lot of money. I'd like to make more money, but it's not really a driver for me. You've got a bunch of homes. I feel that need. It's not long lasting. No material thing I've ever acquired was as cool as I thought it would be. It's cool for a week or two and then you're like, all right, now what? Now what? It's empty. By the way, I think everybody should have a jet if they can have one. Everybody ought to have a unicorn in their waterfall. Everybody ought to live oceanfront. I say this

to people all the time. I've been happy rich, and I've been happy poor. Happy rich is better. So just don't let anybody tell you happy rich ain't better than happy poor. Trust me, it's better. And money's a magnifier. If you're a really good person, you get a bunch of money, it's probably going to magnify your generosity and your kindness and your patience. And if you're a curmudgeon and mean and hurt people, money's going to magnify that too. So I'd rather have a bunch of money. It's probably going to magnify your generosity and your kindness and your patience. And if you're a curmudgeon and mean and hurt people, money is going to magnify that too. So I'd rather have a bunch of money, hands down. But it's not something that drives me in my life. It doesn't fulfill me.

Well, Jim Carrey's got a great quote about, you know, I wish everyone became rich and famous and realized it's not the key to happiness or something like that. Or they got everything they wanted and realize it's not everything they wanted. I've seen that quote. But when I used to hear quotes like that, and I'm sure people that hear this now, they're like, really? And I still think this. I don't. Really easy to say now that you got a bunch.

Exactly. That's really easy to say it's not that big of a deal because you can take care of your family. You got $100 million in the bank. Right. And you know what? And you can educate your children. And I can't. And so that's why I do tell people.

I think material success is important. I want you to educate your children. And I can't. And so that's why I do tell people. I think material success is important. I want you to educate your children. I want you to see the world if you want to. I want you to be able to make your dreams come true. And many dreams require a budget, unfortunately. Well, I think the context of that is not putting all your happiness onto being rich and famous. So true. I think that's what it is.

I know that's what it is. Yes. Yeah. But there's nothing wrong with having what you want. You and I both know tons of very affluent people who are very unhappy. Absolutely. Because there isn't anything past that. And I can just tell you, if you're a miserable person and you wake up in a beach house in Laguna Beach, you're a miserable person in a beach house in Laguna Beach.

Yeah. But if you're a joyous person and you wake up in that place. You're just like in abundance. You're grateful. So grateful, man. Just so grateful. I love to see good people become financially successful because I think they spread it. I think they spread abundance. One of my missions, I want more and more great people to have abundance so that it can be spread, not just in our country, but throughout the world because there's a lack of abundance in the world.

not just in our country, but throughout the world, because there's a lack of abundance in the world. Now, I heard from Patrick Bet-David that you were one of the greatest speakers he'd ever seen. That's a nice comment. Now, I haven't seen you speak on stage yet. I'm excited to. And next month, we're going to see each other. I'm going to see you speak. I'm going to see you speak. And I'm sure you'll blow the audience away. How did you learn how to become... And I know you speak in front of 50,000 person audiences and you're constantly teaching and training from huge stages with other big speakers like Tony Robbins and everyone else. How did you learn how to present with passion or persuasion? Because the greatest

speakers get people to move to action. They do. Yeah. They have some type of call to action that they hook people with and they take them from one thought or belief to another one. Isn't that true? And I'm assuming that's something you've been able to do if you're speaking on all these big stages and if you've been able to enroll people in your vision. Wow, I love that word. Enroll people in your vision. I mean, that's what a persuasive speaker is. It's someone who enrolls them in a new belief or taking action.

How did you learn how to do this? Well, by the way, that is really profound the way you said it. And I love that question. And I'm going to actually start to produce, I'm not just saying this, I actually am consciously going to produce this content coming forward with some specificity because I think it's probably one of the more misunderstood and people really want to know how to do that, whether it's in a group with your family for three people or in front of 300 or 30,000. And so there's a few things. I'll give you a few things. First off, I sucked in the beginning. And I could tell you stories about how bad I was, but that would take up too much time, but horrendously bad.

On stage. On stage. And so I started to, so, I mean, so bad. Your insecurities are magnified by every eyeball on you. Everything. What did I forget to say? Oh, I forgot. I mean, I would literally completely blank out. I've been so nervous speaking, brother, that I could not read my notes. My vision was blurred.

So not only could I not think of a thought, I couldn't get my eyes to tell me what I had written down. Wow. So I've been that kind of nervous before. And so it's changed over time. But what you just said is you enroll people in their vision. So there's three ways people speak. I'll just give you a couple of things. And this is true if like even you and I are just talking.

The first type of speaker takes energy from the room. So they, if you say the speaker feeds off the energy of the room, okay, that's an amateur. If you're constantly having to feed their energy, starve them of their energy, you're not affecting them. You're just performing. And so there's a lot of speakers you watch. They're like, that was funny. That was this. I got nothing out of it. And that's because they fed, they stole your energy to be successful when they spoke. Okay. So that's one type of speaker.

When I say this, everyone's going to go, that was that great speaker I saw. So an ineffective speaker is like a warm bath. They took your energy. They performed. You got nothing out of it. The second type of speaker, it's a really great speaker, is they pour energy back into the room. So you feel an energy, that transfer of energy that I said earlier, right? So they transfer their energy they're experiencing to you. You can almost vibrate. You can almost feel it, right? So a great speaker is conscious of transferring energy. You can't transfer that to me, that which you're not experiencing. But what I try to be is a level past that. The level past that is, and I don't always do it, but when I do do it, it feels beautiful, okay? And that is to be in a state of inspiration.

Inspiration is to be, the root of that is to be in spirit. Move off of motivation, which is their motives. An inspirational speaker touches you spiritually. You feel something different. You enroll them in your spirit. And so the way to do that, so the first speaker takes energy, second speaker pours it into the room. The great speakers, the great communicators pour their energy into each person in the room. So I'm conscious when I speak of pouring energy into each soul in that room. So I'm conscious when I speak of pouring energy into each soul in that room, not just the room, each person, whether that's 10 or 40,000, I'm conscious. It's just a thought of pouring energy into each person that they're feeling it.

I pray about it. I think about it. That's a massive transfer of energy. So much so that when I've given a good one, I could go sleep, I'm not kidding you, for 10 or 12 hours after. I've depleted myself of every energy reserve I have, seriously. That's why Tony Robbins is so incredible. You and I have talked about that because, and by the way, I consider him to be a great speaker because every person feels an effect from him, not just the room, right? And so that's the other thing. And then last thing I'll give you, give you a little tip for speakers. Plan how you're going to finish. So the number one thing speakers struggle with is they don't know how to finish.

They know what they're going to say in the beginning because that's what they're the most nervous about, but they never plan the end. And so if you ever watch a speaker, you're like, okay, they're struggling. They always think they've got to finish on a high. I've got to finish. I've got to finish.

You know what you need to do? You've just got to finish. Pop it up. Pop it up. Like when you watch a stand-up comic, their last joke's not always their best joke. You just remember they were funny. And so when you're speaking, don't worry so much about, I've it up. Pop it up. Like when you watch a stand-up comic, their last joke's not always their best joke. You just remember they were funny. And so when you're speaking,

don't worry so much about, I got to finish on a high. Know how you're going to finish though. Because what happens is you can have a great speech for 20 minutes and the last five minutes, you're just struggling and stammering and it just depletes the entire energy you gave the room

because you're just trying to finish. And so when you're writing your talk, be conscious of writing the finish first, then fill it backwards. Everybody else writes the beginning and the middle, and they're kind of like, I'll get around to finishing because it's going to be so good. They forget that part.

So always write the finish first. Love it, man. Those are good tips. Those are great tips. What thing you're most proud of that most people don't know about you? Easy is my two children. My family, includes my wife too, by the way. And

she's the one most responsible for my children. I'm a good dad. She's a world-class mother. My children are what I'm the most proud of. And I don't feature my family a whole lot on social media because they didn't sign up for all this. In fact, the reason you didn't know me, even though I've done all this speaking, is I finally made a decision to be a public person because I love my privacy because I am introverted. I've just decided to serve people to change the world. I got to be willing to give that up, but my children don't. And so I show them, but not that often, but my children are. My son is, this morning I got up and my son was gone already to the golf course in dark because he wanted to be the first guy there. He's going to

hit all the golf balls. He's a super successful guy in school and he's just a good man. He's just- How old is he? My son is going to be 16 tomorrow. Wow. Going to be 16 tomorrow. And my daughter- Pop the champagne for him. Yeah, that's not happening. And my daughter is 14, Bella, and they're just amazing. They're my life. And so they're what I'm most proud of that most people don't know about either of them, but you will know them someday. Yeah, of course. They're going to change the world world. Of course. What has kids taught you about life and business and everything you're up to? Yeah. Well, they're my reason. So

my reasons change too, right? But I think it goes back to the same things as before for me, but like something happened to me when I had babies, man, it changed me. It softened me. Pretty strong, dude. I don't know if it's softened this. Those are square guns now, man. It changed me. It softened me. You're a pretty strong dude. I don't know if it softened this. Those are square guns now, man. But it did soften me in that I'm living for something different than me. I want you to have that someday, by the way, because living for you is great, but living for other people and being conscious of the fact that they're part of my legacy and that they watch everything you do. Everything. Like I drive too fast. I drive fast, right? I drive too fast. And my son's getting ready to get his driver's license. I can already tell I've set a bad example doing that. Like he's observed that.

So what it did is it made me realize everybody's observing everything. And so I'm more conscious of little things that I do because I've got children and I'm more conscious of little things that I do because I've got children and I'm more conscious of the long lasting impact of everything I say and do, because that could happen if you and I were in a restaurant right now and we have a particular interaction with the server, you know, that changes her whole life one way or the other. And so I'm conscious all the time of what I say and what I do and the impact that's going to have, because there's this ripple that goes out into the universe. It goes out into the world. Before I had kids, I didn't think about any of that stuff. And now I do. I don't feel called to have kids yet, but I have a million dollar whole life

insurance policy on me for the future. Do you really? Absolutely. Yeah. Because I am thinking about that in the future and I want to invest because I was in that business. I was like, I need a premium that's low. You did. Exactly. So I've been paying that for eight, nine years now. You're such an interesting guy. Yeah. I'm thinking about other people, even though I don't have that yet. I'm thinking about, well, even if it doesn't happen now, my family's going to have money and they're going to have assets. They're going to have things.

When you're a dad, by the way, so I'm a dad, I meet men and I define them by what kind of father are they or could they be? And that's why I just told you that. And people that know you, that follow you would say this too. Everyone watching this that knows you, you'd be an amazing father because you're so selfless. You always put other people first. Even the way you're doing this interview is different than most people, brother. It's never about you. It's always about the other person. That's what makes a great dad. And so I pray that it does happen when it should, if it should.

But you're dad to a whole bunch of people that follow you too, right? But you'd be an amazing father. Like honestly, brother, like there's not, not everybody is cut out for that. Not everybody should be a dad. There's some people out there that are moms and dads

that probably shouldn't have been and we're dealing with their kids now, right? So there's an effect on that too. You're gonna be an amazing one. Yeah, and part of me feels like it's got to be a calling. Like I've got to have such a deep desire for it. Yeah. And I feel like once I hit 30, I started to feel a little bit.

When I was around babies, I was like, oh, I looked at them differently. You did? Yeah, I started looking. And still today, I'm like, God, that baby is really cute. I think about it differently, but I'm still not like this. I need this now. I want this now. So I'm setting myself for the future

so that I'm protected. They're protected, covered. Isn't it interesting that you're already doing that? Already doing it. That's wonderful. I observed my father, and he bought life insurance policies on all of us kids when we were one years old or whatever. Is that right? We all had it in policy and put more money into it when we were teens. It kept growing.

That's fascinating. He kind of instilled that observation about life insurance, whole life insurance, the cash value, everything. Yeah. And you're real disciplined. You and I have talked about other things off camera, but you're real serious about your discipline saver of money too. You're not an extravagant spender and nor am I. Everything I have is cash. I don't want debt. The Bible says, oh, no man, nothing. And I just believe that firmly. I don't want to carry a bunch of debt and a bunch of stress in my life. Contrary to what you hear from most people out in our space, too.

A lot of people are like, leverage the debt and use this to buy other stuff. I don't think there's anything wrong with leverage, except I don't believe you should leverage depreciating assets. So you shouldn't leverage a meal. If you go eat it, it's gone. Now you're paying debt on it. I don't think you should leverage vehicles if you can help them because there's just no reason to leverage stuff that's going to go down. But if you want to leverage stuff that's going to appreciate,

that's a decision. Homes, real estate, things like that, businesses, whatever. Exactly. What's one question that you wish more people would ask you in general, whether it be on an interview or just in life that they don't ask? They don't ask me enough about the balance between drive and happiness. In other words, and they struggle with it, but they're only willing to ask about it. It's this concept that I call it, I said this to you before the interview too,

but they don't ask enough about how can I be happy where I am now and still be driven? There's a lot of people who are listening to this that are like, I'm really happy and I don't have a lot of drive. Or there's people that have a lot of drive and they're not very happy. And I recently have been talking about this a lot. It's like, I think that we should be living in a state of blissful dissatisfaction. And what I mean by that is that you can actually be in complete bliss and happiness now and still have drive and desire and be dissatisfied. In other words, people think, well, if I'm dissatisfied, I'm not happy. Not true at all. Because if we were eating a great meal, great steak, right? That first bite is blissful, but it doesn't mean you're not hungry for more or more aggressive analogy.

If you're making love to your partner, right? Are you only satisfied? Are you only enjoying it at the very end? Or is that a blissful experience as you're waiting to be satisfied? Right. So, so the point is, is that there's a way in life and you can live in your life in blissful dissatisfaction. I do. I live blissfully dissatisfied. I'm in this aggressive pursuit of wanting to be the next version of me to meet the next version of me to someday the end of my life. I want to shake hands with the man I could have been right. I want to be very familiar with that dude when I'm done. I want to shake hands and go, hey, I know you, right? That's the guy that I was most capable of becoming. The worst end of my life would be to meet this man I was capable of becoming and we'd be complete strangers. Who's that guy, right? I

want to have been always in pursuit of that man. If you're a woman, that woman. But I want to enjoy getting there. And so I want to be in a state of bliss, but dissatisfied simultaneously. And not enough people ask me how to do that. And can I do that? That's the one thing I would say. Got it. Got it. I love it, man. I feel like we could be talking for hours on this stuff. This is powerful stuff. What's next for you then? You've achieved a lot of financial wealth. You've helped a lot of people in your business make money. You've spoken all over the world in front of large audiences. You've got a large audience online. What's the next chapter for you? What's the next version of yourself that you want to become? Yeah. I think about that all the time, right? The first thing is that I want to expand my relationships with more and more good people like you. It's time for me to add some new,

really close friends to my life. On a very specific scale, I have some financial goals. I have some things I would like to do there. But I want to take the things that I've been doing with my company and with private companies for many years, and I want to expand that around the world. I want to take this message of how to develop self-confidence, how to chase the real version of becoming the best you. I want to collaborate with people who are better than me in certain spaces too, and bring what I can to the table. I know how to build self-confidence. I know how to teach people how to be persuasive. I know how to live happy and dissatisfied at the same time, right? I know how to accumulate things in our lives that we want, but I also want to collaborate with people who are better in those spaces than me. There's things that you're just

better at than me. And even when we were meeting before, like I want to learn from guys like you too. And so I want to take that to the world. That's the next version for me is to be frankly out more public than I've been. I've done it in private. And I just think the world needs people who have really done something to teach people how to do it. And there's very few people in the space. You are one of them who come from a place, honestly, where they just really want to serve people. I'll figure out if I got to monetize this or how to monetize it. I told you before we got on, the thing I love about you is you started out with how do I serve people, right? And you figured out how to make a living doing it, right? And getting successful financially. And so I come from a different place.

I've already sort of had that financial part. I just want to serve people, man. I want to be inspirational, but I want to give people tactics and strategies to live better, not just get all fired up and not know how to do it. And there's really only a few people in the space that I think are effective at doing it. And so here's what I found out. It juices me, man. I don't get tired of it. I'm working more hours than I've ever worked. I've certainly just in some other parts of my life, I'm not a six handicap anymore because I don't play a lot more golf. I want to spend my life helping and serving people. And so it keeps me younger, keeps me happy. So I think that's what I'm doing. I love it. I love it. A couple of final questions. This one's called the three truths.

Okay. If this was the last day for you many years from now, and you've achieved everything you wanted, everything you ever wanted happened. But for whatever reason, all the content you put out there and videos and information was erased. So no one had access to your information anymore about your message, your tips, your strategies, gone. And there was a piece of paper and a pen and all your friends and family were there and it was a celebration, but it's your last day. You're ending it, right? But you had a piece of paper and a pen. You got to write down the three truths that you would leave to the world or

the three lessons that you would leave behind that this is all they would have to remember you by what would you say is your three truths of life what am i doing right three truths of life life wow that's the best questions anyone's ever asked me. The first truth for me is that there is a God and that there is a life after this and that you're being blessed. And it's not my job to tell you who that God is or what that spirit is or however you see it, but that there is a higher power guiding and directing your life and blessing you. That'd be the first thing. The second thing that I would tell people is that people matter, things don't. And that pour yourself into people and love people. And the third thing that I would tell you is you are enough the way you are. Too often in life,

especially ladies, they're constantly being made to feel as if they're not enough, that they need to be better or look better or do better, or there's just, they're not being made to feel as if they're not enough that they need to be better or look better or do better or There's just they're not sufficient the way they are and i'm telling you that the way that you were made the way that you are Now is beautiful or handsome and that you're enough and that once you can finally acknowledge the fact that you're enough That you're beautiful and gifted and special and made in the image of this higher place, right? beautiful and gifted and special and made in the image of this higher place, right? That once you can acknowledge that, you're going to be very, very happy. All your confidence,

all your happiness, all the things you want to achieve in your life come from when you understand that you are made perfect the way you are. It doesn't mean we don't want to improve things in our life and chase the next version of us and all that, but the you that exists now is enough and that you have everything within you right now to make your dreams happen, to be happy. And I don't like the messaging of the world today that maybe there isn't a higher place to go. I'm not telling you who it is. I think different face work for different people, but there's something pulling us past this. There's a purpose to being alive. And the second reason is those purposes are other people and how we treat them and to make a difference in the world.

And the third thing is that you are enough right now to do that, that you are enough to do that, that you're good and blessed and that you deserve great things in your life. You were put here for a reason. And those would be the three truths that I give people. Powerful, man. I love those. I love those. Well, I want to acknowledge you for a moment, Ed, for your, a couple of things. One, your awareness to how much you've grown and for being truthful and honest about the things that you weren't doing as great with in the first 10 years of business where you didn't treat people as well as you'd like to. Being aware of that and saying, I want to transform lives and really serve people and be more conscious and mindful of that. So I want to acknowledge you for recognizing that because I think a lot of people stick to their habits and their patterns forever.

And they just treat people that way forever as opposed to be aware of it. So I want to acknowledge you for that. I want to acknowledge you for your genuine caring as well. For the only couple interactions we've had, you've got a powerful, genuine heart and I can really feel it. Thank you. So I acknowledge you for the genuineness and for your ability to move people. I think your words affect people in such magnetic, powerful ways.

And when you speak, people are shaken with inspiration. So I want to acknowledge you for that as well. Thank you, brother. Of course, man. I'm grateful for those words, man. Thank you. Where can we connect with you online, and what's the things you're working on right now? You've got a podcast.

You've got social media. You'll find me. Ed Mylett, M-Y-L-E-T-T, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter. I've got a podcast on iTunes. I've got a YouTube channel. I'm going to be coming out with a book this year, and I'm going to be coming out with some content that you can get digitally as well. But I think if you go to my social media stuff, you'll find everything from there. If you go to edmylett.com,

you submit an email there. I do a weekly letter with stuff I'm reading, I'm working on, I'm thinking about. That would probably be a good place to go to. edmylett.com. Yeah, I'd be grateful for that. Awesome, yeah. So check it out and make sure you guys

connect with Ed on Instagram. You hang out a lot there. I do. Yeah, so take a screenshot of this. Tag him on Instagram. Let him know that you're listening or watching. Final question, what's your definition of greatness? Wow, man, you're making me really dig deep here.

I think every person that listens to anything we do, they think they want a material thing or they want a relationship or they want a better body or they want whatever they want. They want to be happy. People want to be happy. They want to be blessed. And so to me, the definition of that is to be happy, is to live blissfully, is to live happily. And we all are always going to be in a state of pursuing that, having it. It's not a state that we're going to be constantly in all the time, but the more we can touch that space, the more we can live in that space,

the more successful we are. And so I would tell you that success to me is about living happily. However you define that, whatever your terms are, and don't be ashamed of what those terms are. If it's a material thing, that's wonderful. Whatever that is for you, we're all different. We're all wired different. We're all in our hearts have different goals and dreams, but all of those goals and dreams lead back to one place. We want to be happier. And so that would be the definition for me. Ed Milet, thanks for coming out, man. Great to meet you.

This is awesome. Thanks, man. Love you too, man. Okay. My friends, my family, the greatness community, there you have it. I hope you enjoyed this powerful, insightful, inspiring episode with the one and only Ed Milet. Now, if you did, make sure to get the word out there. The link for this is lewishouse.com slash 586. The full video interview,

all the resources and the show notes are back on that website link. Go ahead and take a screenshot on this app right now that you're listening to this podcast. Take a screenshot of it on your phone and upload it to your Instagram story or Instagram page or Facebook and Twitter. Tag me at Lewis Howes and tag at Ed Milet and let us know what you thought about this. Share this with your friends, your family, your community, anyone you want to see have a better life, to grow their business, to grow their opportunities in life. Send them this. Be of service by giving them great free content with some of the world's greatest leaders on mindset and business and personal development. Send them this interview. I'm telling you, do a service to spread the message of greatness to others. Again, lewishouse.com slash 586

at Ed Milett, M-Y-L-E-T-T and at Lewis House. Again, Muhammad Ali said, service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on earth. What are you going to do today that's going to make an impact on someone's life? What are you going to do to serve others today? Is it someone in your family that you can give to? Do you have a friend of yours that you can give to right now? Is there someone you walk by on the street who needs a smile? Is there someone that you're going to a restaurant and your server is having a bad day that you can give a bigger tip to?

What can you do to make an impact to the people around you? How can your energy literally shift the world through being positive, through being humble, through being grateful, through having confidence, through shining your light, through your unique gifts? Make sure you're making an impact today to the people around you because service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on earth. I love you guys so very much. My name is Lewis Howes.

If this is your first time here, make sure to subscribe, share this with your friends. And as always, you know what time it is. It's time to go out there and do something great. Thank you. Bye.