The School of Greatness - 611 Shaun T: Trust and Believe in Your Own Transformation

Episode Date: March 7, 2018

IF I WERE AFRAID OF STEREOTYPES, I WOULD NEVER BE WHERE I AM TODAY. I know that transformation and change is one of the hardest (and scariest) things you can go. Change is the only way that you can truly grow. As a person, in relationships, and even in business. The best way to transform is to constantly focus on doing better than you previously did. As you push yourself further and further, a little more each time, you'll become much more confident in yourself and your abilities. To help with understanding more about transforming yourself, trusting yourself, and believing in yourself, I brought on one of best people I could think of: Shaun T. Shaun T is a world-renowned health and fitness expert, TV host, motivator and creator of the best-selling fitness programs INSANITY, HIP HOP ABS, CIZE, and many more. He has hosted several primetime TV series, danced with Mariah Carey, and choreographed for the NCAA Final Four Halftime Show and the movie Bring It On: All or Nothing. He's also an entrepreneur, author, new dad, and total transformation coach. I hadn't met Shaun before we came together to record a podcast, but now I consider him a brother. His energy, honesty, huge heart, and way of caring about people is amazing. He has also created extraordinary results for so many people (and himself) and is committed to being the best version of himself. If you want to learn the mindset and steps you need to take in order to believe in yourself and create a transformation that create your best life, you can't miss this episode. Learn the lessons Shaun T has learned through his own transformation and what you need to do to better yourself, on Episode 611. Some Questions I Ask: What's your secret in the closet? (6:44) Did you talk about being abused before a year and a half ago? (10:00) How long did you play football for? (17:02) You gained 50 pounds your first year in college? (21:52) When did you realize you wanted to take dancin and hip hop workouts mainstream? (25:40) What's been the biggest challenge of these transformational programs? (27:46) When did you really learn to not let your feelings control your actions? (30:40) What do most people not understand about where confidence comes from?(36:48) If you could transform people overnight, would you, or would you make them work for it? (40:20) In This Episode You Will Learn: Shaun T's biggest secret he's held on to for the longest (7:29) When he realized he would be transforming the world (13:56) Shaun T's college career in Track (20:36) How he compartmentalizes things he's frustrated with (29:46) How he stays motivating, knowing he's at the top of his game (32:34) Shaun's super power (38:53) How to overcome mental obstacles (44:06) Plus much, much more

This is episode number 611 with transformational coach, Sean T. Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin. Don't fear failure.

Fear being in the exact same place next year as you are today. Quote unknown. I am feeling pumped and alive after a little hip hop abs workout that I just did with the man, Sean T. And I'm so excited about this episode. Literally in the first 30 seconds, we dive in deeper than probably any interview I've done that quickly. We go there, guys. Get ready for a powerful experience. Make sure to take a screenshot of this right now. Post a link over on Instagram. Tag me, atlewishouse, at Sean T, and let's connect because this is about to go down. For those that don't know, Sean T is a fitness icon who made history in 2007

by creating Hip Hop Abs, the number one selling home fitness program. His next number one hit was in 2008, Rockin' Body, which was followed in 2009 when Insanity debuted and forever changed the face of home fitness. Insanity held its rightful place as the number one selling infomercial, helping a world of people to dig deeper and get the most insane results possible. He also has an apparel line, hosts live events, has an online transformational academy, hosts a podcast, and is the recent author of the self-help memoir, T is for Transformation. And when I mean this guy has got heart, soul, energy, passion, love, he's got it all. And some of the things we dive into are why it takes so much work to heal from abuse and what

it takes to truly let go of all of it. Also why it's so important to ignore the fear and go after what you're passionate about anyway. How to talk to yourself about your food in order to make healthy choices. We cover why therapy is so helpful to find the answers inside yourself. And how to stay relevant to yourself. That and so much more. I was blown away at the beginning, middle, and end of this interview. And I've had some incredible times just connecting with Sean T on the phone since we did this. But this is a game changer. All right, guys,

I'm super pumped about this one. Trust and believe. This is all about optimizing your body, your mind, and your spirit. Without further ado, let me introduce to you to the one, the only, Sean T. Let me introduce to you to the one, the only, Sean T. Welcome back, everyone, to the School of Greatness podcast. We've got the legendary Sean T. in the house. I am pumped for this, man. We've got great energy. We've got a lot of mutual friends.

Chalene Johnson's a good friend of mine. Danielle and Darren Natoni are friends of mine. And everyone raves about you. No one said anything negative about you yet. So, we'll see after this. We might. And I asked you before what would make this the most impactful interview you've ever done, and you said to make me uncomfortable.

Yeah. So, before we jumped on, you said everyone has something in the closet, a secret in the closet. Yeah, yeah. So what's your secret still in the closet? You know, I actually just let this out a couple weeks ago, but I'm still struggling with it a lot. And it's my fear of death. I'm already about to get emotional.

This is, like, ridiculous. But because I just had two kids and the only thing I can think about every single time I leave them is, you know, am I going to see them again? Wow. And, you know, we struggled so hard to have them. We tried five times. We had multiple egg donors, multiple surrogates. Obviously in my relationship, there's been dynamic shifts that happen. And I'm in my biggest fear is to not show up back home for Scott. Right. So I just came out of the closet about that, but that's the thing that I'm working through currently. What's been the biggest secret that you've held onto for the longest time in your life? For the longest time in my life, the biggest secret I held onto, I think that, no, I know that

the biggest secret I held onto was the fact that I actually enjoy being molested. I realized as I got older, I actually had to enjoy it to endure it. And when I realized that that's the way I got through my molestation, then all the guilt started to hit me. I was just like, I can't believe I was literally basically having an affair on my mother, in my book I call it my step Stepmonster. So when I had that revelation, to be able to come clean about that was horrible. It was horrible because I remember literally when I had stopped being abused, I remember trying to entice the abuse to continue because I had mentally said, I'm doing this because I need to save my family. Like if I don't endure this, he's going to hurt someone else. And if I don't take on this

abuse, then he's going to abuse someone else. Exactly. Wow. So the guilt of that was just. And so you're saying you in some way enjoyed it. Yeah. It was the hardest thing to accept to say. And the reason why I know that I had to switch my mindset to enjoy it is because when it was over, most people, they feel freed of the abuse. But for me, it was, wait, why isn't this continuing? Because I had changed my mindset to not be a victim. I had to like step into the world of what was happening. And so that was the thing I kept in a closet for the longest time. But through therapy and stuff, you kind of work through it. But it was more about

realizing why I had to enjoy it. And that was where I was able to break free and kind of forgive myself, if you will. Because when you're eight years old, you really don't make decisions the way you make them at now 39. The other thing is, in full transparency, when this person tells you, oh my gosh, you're my favorite person, and you feel so great to be around that person, you feel like they can do nothing wrong, especially at such a young age. So then everything that happens is supposed to happen, you know? Like, in your mind, it's supposed to happen. So that was a tough... It was about a year and a half ago

that I was able to let that out and, like, break free from that feeling. Did you talk about being abused before a year and a half ago? Yes. I talked about being abused from the time I was 21. Got it. You started opening up then about it, yeah. Yeah, so I started opening up about it, but I didn't really know the depth of what really happened to me.

I just felt like it was a physical thing when I was 21 years old. This physical thing happened to me. What it really was was a mental shift and affected me mentally more than physically. And that's why on my arms now I have conquering your mind, transform your life. Wow. Because I realized that if your mind can't be in control, then you're out of control. When did you get in control of your mind? I got in control of my mind after I met my husband, Scott. So I talk about this in my book as well. You know, I thought I was fine. I had been through therapy, the whole molestation thing. This was for me, it was like a

bunch of physical things that happened to me that I had to get through. And I remember at two o'clock in the morning, every single night after I had met Scott and we were in love and it was this great feeling at two o'clock in the morning, every single night, I started an argument. I started like a vulnerable, ridiculous fight that just wasn't a part of who I was. I mean, this was like every night until, and he was there for it. He endured it and he would always work through it. It was really, really tough now going back and thinking about the energy that I created at 2 a.m. But there was one moment at like 3 o'clock in the afternoon that I had this feeling. And for me, I said to myself, why am I having this feeling at 3 o'clock in the afternoon?

This feeling only comes at 2 o'clock in the morning. And that's when I realized that at 2 o'clock in the morning was about the time that I was being abused as a kid. Wow. So I was awakened from my sleep to always go into this space of, like, transitioning my mind. And then I realized that it wasn't necessarily an enjoyment or whatever. It was fear, and I was conquering fear as a child. And so once I did that, then I realized it was a lot of stuff that happened in your brain. And that's when I realized it was all about being able to conquer your mind. It's deep.

It's very deep. Some people, you know, when I talk about this, there have been some people that read my book and they say that's too much. And I'm like, great. Because at some point in your life, you're going to realize that it is too much and you're going to have to face it. And I'm not afraid to face it. If you walk into my transformation center, you see six words, but the words on top is truth, trust, and transparency. Because if you can be true to yourself, that means you can trust yourself. And when you trust yourself, you can be as transparent as possible. And am I perfect at it? No, but I definitely strive to,

because perfection is temporary, change is constant. We were talking before about it never ends. That's because change is constant and we're always changing. So in order to be transparent, you have to constantly be open to change. Right, and maybe you didn't have a fear of dying until five or six months ago

or until a few months ago when you had your twins. And now something new has opened up in your life and you're like, I have this new thing to conquer. This new challenge in your mind, right? When it's like this fear, why am I afraid? And it is. It's very, very challenging. People say, oh, you know, having a kid is hard. I'm like, I'm here for it.

I'm like, whatever. I mean, I got stuff. I'm here with everything. You know, it's fine. It's crazy. whatever you know i mean i got everything yeah you know it's fine it's crazy at the same time it's the most amazing rewarding feeling to see when we have two at one time to see these the i call them things it sounds so bad i'm like these two little things right but to see these things change every single day i've been away from home for three days i'm gonna go back they're

gonna look completely different they're gonna act They're going to look at me completely different. So it's definitely something that we're trying to conquer every single day. Wow. Did you ever realize that you would be in this position when you were a teenager, that you'd be transforming the world and have all these programs on TV and online and doing these conventions and speaking in this book, did you realize that this was going to be your life? Because I know you were like into dance and theater. Right, right. And fitness. But did you think you'd be able to combine them all? Specifically, no. But I did know when I was a teenager, and this might sound vain,

but I really don't. This is what it is. Yeah. When I was a teenager, so this is so bad. So if you look back, if you look in my yearbook, it says like this whole thing and it says goal to be famous. It's so crazy. As a kid, you might think on the surface, you might think, oh, they want to be famous or be an actor. And I was like, for me, it wasn't about being an actor or a singer because that wasn't it. I was like, how am I going to impact the world? But I was unable to verbalize it that way as a 17-year-old. And I knew I would impact the world in some way because of what I'd been through and I knew I would help some people, but to the scale at which it is, absolutely not because I didn't even know who I was, right?

I just always had this feeling that I'm going to do something. I knew I was going to move away from my town. I knew I wasn't going to grow up and get married there, regardless of the sexuality thing. It wasn't about that. It was just that I always tried to achieve something greater. And so here's a little story is that when I ran track, the first year I ever ran track, I pulled my butt muscle. I was practicing a relay. I was practicing a relay and I went to get the baton and my butt muscle pulled and I was so mad because I couldn't run. But the next year I decided, I said, every time I run, whatever race

that I specialize in, whenever I run, I'm going to try and run faster every single time. And it happened every single time I ran all the way Every single time I ran, all the way up until the Meet a Champions, which was a whole other story, I ran faster every single time. And it was all about me just trying to push myself. I just never settled for what I did before. So I just had that mentality from when I was younger. I just said, I always have to go. I have to push as hard as I possibly can, which takes us into the world of digging deep with insanity. People say, why do you say dig deep? I'm like, because I don't really care what you look like. I care what you think like. I really don't care

if you have a six pack. I actually don't care if you have great biceps. I care what you think like, because it's how you think that's going to make you either push play the next day or walk into the gym and believe that you can do whatever it is that you set out to do or go into your workspace even if you're in a job that you don't like and create the best possible outcome for that job. Even if you don't like something, you can still create such an amazing experience so that that employee still gives you a great review or what's the word I'm looking for,

if you go to another job, recommendation. So it's all about what you do with this time and space that you have. Right, wow. You played football when you were a kid as well, right? Pee-wee football, is that what I read? I did. How long did you play football till?

Well the funny thing is the first time I walked out, my mom said, all right, you're playing football, let's go. And so I get out of the car and I see these guys hitting each other. And I walked right back in the car. I said, I'm going to let you know that this is not going to happen. But my mom was so great. She didn't say you have to do this. She was like, okay. And my brother like ran off and he's in it. What I didn't realize is that the people that I saw, you know, practicing first were, they were like 13 year olds and I was like five or six years old, you know. But yeah, I played football and it was, it was amazing. Once I, you know, got over my fear of getting knocked down.

How long did you play? You know, I played football for about seven years. So I was going to play in high school, but then I fell in love with track and field. And was like this you 100 200 400 or i was a 400 intermediate hurdler oh that's the hardest it's so hard that was mad too you met oh really the 400 hurdles yeah it is it is equivalent to 800 meters so hard but the 400 meters is the hardest race in track and field in my opinion i was decathlete in college the 400 was the the worst because in track and field, in my opinion. I was a decathlete in college. The 400 was the worst because it's the fifth event on the first day, and you're just exhausted.

And now I have to go run the hardest race, essentially, and go all out because every second matters in the decathlon. I know. You're going on points, man. It was so hard. I was never that good. I think I ran like a 51 was like my best. But it was always never fresh. A 51 is good. But I was never fresh. No I think I ran like a 51 was like my best. But it was always never fresh.

But I was never fresh. Maybe I could have done a 49. Maybe like my best day or something. But you're tall, man. You're tall. Like I wish I had a little bit more height in my room. But a 51 is not bad. You should actually be, especially at the end of what? That was the 10th event, right?

Fifth event, yeah. That was the fifth event on day one Yeah, but we did the high jump a long jump before that so it was a lot of explosive work And how many years did you do that? I only did it for like six months Yeah, I wanted to be an all-american football player my senior year. I got injured. I broke a couple records my sophomore year I was like one of the best receivers in the country But for some reason didn't get the award because our team wasn't that good so I think they give it to guys who usually have a better team so I was trying to get at my senior year I got injured and then I went to my track coach because I did

track and I would run like the 100 to like train in the offseason and I said what's the chance you think I can be an All-American decathlete and I had about six and a half months from the football season until the national championships. This is Division III, so it's not like it's still hard. Now, I had never pole vaulted or done like the discus. One ton of high hurdles, never done. Oh, my. So there's a lot of events.

Oh, yeah, I forgot about the one-tens. Oh, it's freaking horrible. There's a lot of events that were very technical that I had to learn. And she said, if you do everything that I tell you to do every single day for the next six and a half months, you have a chance. And that's all I needed. That was like my gateway to be like, I'm yours. Like whatever you say, I'm in. I was so committed to that. And I got, they take the top eight places at nationals and I got eighth place. Get out of here. By like a few points. Yeah, it was fun. Yeah, the hurdles, man, was so hard. Even though. Get out of here. By like a few points. Yeah, it was fun.

Yeah, the hurdles, man, was so hard. Even though I'm tall, it's just like a challenging rhythm and just staying low. Well, the 110 hurdles, the 110 high hurdles are ridiculous. I remember in high school, I was like, this is fun. I got to college, the first time I practiced the 110s, I'm like, I'm out. Yeah. Because before, I ran.

And then they go up, I think, three inches. And the three inches doesn't seem that crazy. So high, though. But it's so high. It's so high. That's crazy. So you did track in college as well or no? So I went to college.

The story goes I went to college as a communications major because I was obsessed with Anderson Cooper. He's great. I love him. He's great. But I don't know if you remember. I don't know how old you are. He's great. I love him. He's great. But I don't know if you remember, I don't know how old you are. 34. Okay. So I don't know if, I'm not like a few years older than you, but we had this thing called Channel One in high school and it was Lisa Ling and Anderson Cooper. They would come on the TV and they would give us the morning news and I was like obsessed with them.

And then I went to the principal's office and I asked if I could do the afternoon news. So then I created this whole afternoon news station with Sean T, right? That's funny. Oh my God, this is so ridiculous. So people who actually know my workouts and almost every single workout saying,

hey, my name is Sean T, peace out. That started when I was 16 years old on the news at Deptford Township High School. That's exactly how it ended the day. So when I would walk through the halls at the end of the day, all my friends would be like, hi, my name is Sean T, peace out.

And so I continued to use that. So anyway, so I went to college as a communications major because I was obsessed. And then that's when I gained 50 pounds, my first year in college. And then I looked in the mirror one day and communications major because I was obsessed. And then that's when I gained 50 pounds, my first year in college. And then I looked in the mirror one day and I said, I'm not. 50 pounds?

It was probably more. And you had a six pack in high school, I'm assuming as track star. Yeah, I was 178 pounds. Full disclosure, I would never want to be 178 pounds now. I kind of like where I got going. What are you, about 205? I mean, thanks, but I'm a good 197.

Oh, wow, you just look strong. I'm like 197 or whatever. But I'm just being silly. Anyway, you made me blush. So you gained 50 pounds. You gained 50 pounds. So I gained 50 pounds. I woke up one day and I looked in the mirror and I was, it wasn't about necessarily only the way that I looked.

It was the way that I felt. And I was like, I do not like the way that I feel it was the way that I felt yeah yeah I do not like the way that I feel right now everything's layered so it was overweight it was you know the sexuality thing was always still there you know because you haven't come out no I hadn't come out yet and it was just crazy so I went to the gym this was a time when it wasn't really acceptable probably to come out especially where you're from assuming it wasn't like it definitely to come out, especially where you're from, I'm assuming. It wasn't like, it definitely wasn't. Like, hey, I'm gay. And people are like, cool, you want to go to the movies?

Like, that wasn't it. It was, I remember telling my best friend, and this was the dumbest mistake in 1997. I tell my best friend while we're driving back to her apartment, I was like, so just so you know, I'm gay. And she almost slams into the back of the person in front of us at the red light she's like she's like what no talking till we get to the apartment and I'm like no talking you know it was just so like no one came out like that really but for me there was a part of me that was just like so what

what you want me to do but for everyone everyone else, there's this, and other people. I mean, people still have a hard time coming up. But for me, it wasn't necessarily hard to say it, but it was hard for people to accept because people didn't see an athlete or, you know. Especially by the track star. Yeah, they didn't see this person as a gay person. You know, it was always just kind of like a stereotype kind of thing that made them believe that someone was gay or whatever. So anyway, cut to, gained a lot of weight, going through this whole sexuality thing and college and finding my way. But I just remember looking in the mirror, and I wasn't happy with what I saw, and I wasn't happy with what I felt. And I went to the gym, and I got on the treadmill.

I was like, what do you know how to do? Run. I knew how the treadmill. I was like, what do you know how to do? Run. I knew how to run. I got on the treadmill 10 minutes a day. And the last, like, three minutes just pushed because track and field was my thing. And I knew no matter how hard it was, I knew how to push through. And then it graduated to going in the weight room and walking in the weight room for the first time and seeing these guys who were super ripped and feeling insecure about going into this new space. But anyway, I walked through those doors and started getting better. And I changed my major from communications, Anderson Cooper, to sports science. And then it all just came together.

So without being too long, so I started teaching fitness classes. But when I got really good at fitness and being able to talk through bootcamp classes, that's when I went to the track coach. And I have friends on the track team. So they were like, when are you coming? When are you going to run? When are you going to run? And I felt that was it. And so then I started running again.

You did it in college. Where did you go to school? Rowan University. It's a D3 school in South Jersey. Wow. How did you do there? In track and field? I mean, you know.

It definitely wasn't the same as high school. I mean, like, I still ran fast or whatever. But at that point, I loved track and field, but then I started dancing. Hip-hop classes and stuff? Yeah. When I started teaching hip-hop classes, it was so passionate for me that I just, dance just kind of took over my life. it for me that I just, dance just kind of took over my life. And I started teaching at different dance studios and a community and realizing that I can make a lot of money dancing and loving what I'm doing. I still ran, but dancing kind of took. That's when it all started. Yeah. Yeah.

When did you realize that you wanted to make that more mainstream, like the dance hip hop, like workout videos and stuff like that? You know, it's interesting. That didn't come until later after I moved to L.A. Because originally I would go to fitness conventions and I would learn from some of the top fitness presenters on how to teach and do all these things. And I loved it. But when I moved to L.A., it was to be a professional dancer. But I was still teaching right down the street at this Equinox,

right down the street. This is where I was. The one on Sunset? The one on Sunset Boulevard. I was teaching a class there. A producer from Beachbody, her name is Lara Ross, was watching my class. And she called a friend of mine who was a trainer.

She said, can you give me that guy's phone number? And I called her and she said, your class is awesome. I see people happy. They line up at the door. And she was like, do you want to come and create something with Beachbody? I was literally just doing what I love to do, waking up on a Saturday morning, hungover and still going to teach. I mean, that was my hangover, remember? You know what I'm saying? And so that was it.

So full disclosure, I don't know if anyone remembers Eric Neese and the grind workout, the MTV grind workout. This is like a while ago, but I remember seeing the grind workout and seeing Eric Neese like teaching. And I was like, Oh, I want to do that one day. But it was just something that I wanted to do. It was just, I was just like, one day I just want to have fitness DVDs, workout dance DVDs for fun. Never thinking it would turn into what it's turned into today. But it all started out with a passion, man. If I didn't follow my passion, if I would have said what people used to say,

dance is for girls or it's only for gay guys and this whole thing and then fitness and everything being looped into these stereotypes, if I was afraid of those stereotypes, I would never be where I am today. And so that's why it's so important to follow your passion. If you want to do it, if it feels really, really good, you must. It is an absolute must that you go after it. In fitness and health and work and entrepreneurship, I say, don't chase the number, chase the feeling. Because when you chase the feeling, money's going to come,

health is going to come, the weight's going to come off. If you chase the number, chase the feeling. Because when you chase the feeling, money's gonna come, health is gonna come, the weight's gonna come off if you chase the feeling and chase the passion. That's cool, yeah. What's been the biggest challenge for you? That was 2007 when the first kind of DVD workout thing happened, is that right? What's been the biggest challenge for you in the last 11 years through this transformational journey of yourself of doing these workout, dance, DVD programs and everything that's come with it? People, people and being able to maneuver through the relationships that you build purely because you are who you are. And everyone goes through this. No matter what you do, no matter where you're from, the human experience can be made or broken by relationships and people.

And so I made it a point to really learn how to communicate with people and know my audience, know who I'm talking to. Because one of the biggest things, and we kind of talked about this a little bit. One of the things that I used to do was try to negotiate my own contracts. And when you work through passion, for me, the worst thing to do is try to negotiate a contract, get into this big argument, this tug of war, and then say, hey, go motivate people. Because by then you're drained. Drained. Exhausted. Exhausted. Zero desire. Your joy is gone.

It's like, why did I even want to do this in the first place? And that's not to say that I'm a perfect person. I mean, I kind of think that I'm pretty easy to work with, but I think that works against me. The thing that's greatest about you can also be your biggest weakness, and I believe that in myself and everyone else. And so it's been people. Sometimes I'm like, why would you want me to do that?

That doesn't go in line with the project that we're working on. But I think I've grown a lot in not letting it really affect me in a bad way and then being able to hire people to kind of deal with that thing so that I can stay in as much of a good space as I possibly can. Are you good at compartmentalizing things you're frustrated with so that you can go and deliver teaching or whatever you need to do or speaking or something, or does it kind of stay with you

no matter what until it's resolved? There's two things. So one, I think the older I get, and I'm 39, I'll be 40, it's not old, but the older I get, the less I sweat the small stuff because I talk about this secret backpack that everyone carries around. Everything you've been through,

if you don't just throw it away, if you actually utilize a tool that helped get you through this terrible thing because we learn something with struggle, through struggle we learn something and you develop a tool with that. So the things that I've been through in my past, now I say, if I experience it again, I say, all right, well, what tool do I have to pull out my secret backpack? So I don't let it bother me

as much. It's all good. When did you really learn to not let your feelings control your actions? I learned to not let my feelings control my actions when I realized the outcome wasn't changing. A lot of people make fun of my insanity workout because they say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result, right? So when I realized that I reacted the same way to things that weren't quite positive,

and when I reacted the same way, I got the same outcome. And then I realized that I had to change the narrative in my mind in order to get a different outcome. Right, right. How do you continue to remind yourself of that? With all the people and chaos that comes your way? I remind myself of that simply because I have to remember that everyone I speak to is unique in their own way.

Right. So you can't expect one person to respond or react the same way that someone else did. And so it's just like I say in fitness, don't compare yourself to other people. You can eat the same thing. You can do the same amount of reps. We can lift the same amount of weight. We will never, I will never, how tall are you? 6'4".

I'll never be 6'4", which sucks. No, I'm kidding. I'll never be six four, but we'll never have the same arms. We'll never have the same legs. It's not that. So in communication and communicating with people, what I realized is that I have to look at these individual people as individual people and find out what their strengths are. Because if you find out what someone's strengths are and you actually utilize their strength when you're actually communicating with them, then you won't argue with them. You just won't.

Actually, you can ask questions and utilize and actually ask for help, like helping you understand where they're coming from and then people feel like they belong in that conversation instead of like you're giving them pushback. So the end result to communication can really always be a positive thing. It really can. I believe that.

Now, I've seen some of your previous workout videos with the Insanity promotions and things like that. And it looks to me like your body is in the best shape it's been, even compared to those harder workout DVDs from the past. I think that's true. Is that true to you? It's true. Yeah, you're the leanest, you've got an eight pack

and before it was like a six pack or whatever, it's like you've got everything down. How do you continue to stay motivated even though you're at the top of your game? How do you not say, well, I look good, I can take a few days off and maintain this. How do you stay like, I'm gonna push through and keep going? It's so interesting you say that, I want to make reference to that.

I tell people, I say, look at each one of my workout programs. I have a different body in each one of them because I'm going through something different in my life in each one of them. And I want people to actually study from Insanity to Asylum, where I was like 4.1% body fat, to T25, to max 30, to size, different bodies in each one of them, right? But here's what I realized as I progressed throughout the years. How am I going to feel the best that I can on the inside? What am I putting in my body? And I'm not a nutritionist, but I'm my own nutritionist, you know? And so I do this thing that's like really funny. And I call people on stage and I do this, but I make people have a conversation with their food out loud. We don't have any good

snacks here, so I can't put you through this. Coffee or the water. Well, you know, this is coffee and water is easy, but something that you actually love. Like for me, I love donuts. Pizza and donuts, man. Oh, see. No, this is amazing. So my thing is, if you have pizza, if you have a slice of pizza, you say, all right, what's up, pizza? How are you today? Good. How are you going to make me feel after I eat you? Well, I'm going to make you feel really fat and you're going to be so mad at yourself because you have a photo shoot.

All right, pizza, I'm going to come back to you another day. Boom. But if I say to the pizza, pizza, how are you going to make me feel after I eat you? You know, you worked out for a few weeks. You deserve to have some fun. You're not going to feel guilty after you eat me. I'm about to go all the way in and I might order another pie. Come all the way through, right? There's different conversations that happen when you have food. Yeah. And so for me, recently it's been with meat. I've realized that.

And I'm not trying to be a vegetarian. I'm not trying to tell people not to eat meat. I'm saying what works for me. Nutrition is about your own calculation. It's about you. So for me, you know, I had a conversation with me. I'm like, yo, me, how you gonna make me feel?

Full disclosure. I'm like, going to the bathroom is gonna suck for you. And I realized that that's what it was. And I got rid of the meat. And so over the last 40 days,

I've had the most amazing bathroom experience in my life. Sounds funny. Minutes in and out, yeah. Might be too much information for a lot of people, but the reality is that's why I feel I'm constantly as fit as I can possibly be in the circumstances and being a new dad. I'm redefining dad bod, by the way. But do I get to work out and do as much as I did when I was 32? No, but I'm much smarter with the time that I had.

And sometimes I say, it's not about how high you jump, it's what you do with the air time. And that's the same thing when it comes to working out. It's not about how much or how often you work out, it's what do you do with the time? And then, what do you do with the time that you're actually fueling your body? I'm not saying you can't have popcorn at the movie theater.

Love me some popcorn. I love me some popcorn and I love me some goobers. Come all the way through. But the thing is, most of the time, I'm sneaking something in my backpack. Eat healthier. Yeah. I emphasize the ER. Yeah.

So that's why I'm able to stay as fit as I possibly can at 39 than even, I think, fitter than when I was 29. Yeah, you look really lean. Thanks. Unless you just got really good Instagram filters, but you might have as well. No, I mean, fitter than when I was 29. Yeah, you look really lean. Thanks. Unless you just got really good Instagram filters, but you might have as well. No, I mean, look, we on video. I mean, a filter's a good thing.

Exactly. What do most people not understand about where confidence comes from? So, you know, nothing looks as good as confidence feels. And confidence comes directly from the feeling. If you actually look at your body and your life as its own world, if this is, you know, my grandfather used to say your body is your temple. And inside of your body, you have these vulnerable populations. Like there are certain parts of your body that you just don't feel really good at.

parts of your body that you just don't feel really good at. And so if you utilize some of the things that are great about you to really help lift up other parts of your body and utilize those, certain things are really great. Your confidence might be really great, or your confidence might be really bad, but you might be really organized. You have to take your organizational skills and utilize it to help your confidence. So I know that if I have a really clean home and my meetings and my emails are fully set, how am I going to use that to be more confident? And then I have to break down why I'm not confident. I'm not confident because my body looks a certain way. Okay, so how do I utilize my organizational skills to eat better? Maybe I'm going to do food prep. You have to take the strengths. Everyone has something amazing about them. And I don't think people tap into their amazingness enough. And if

you utilize the amazing things about you to help those vulnerable populations in your body and in your life, I'm telling you, you actually have the answers. And that's why I'm a big advocate for therapy. And it's not just because of sexual abuse. I'm a big advocate for therapy because a good therapy, a good therapist will let you communicate to yourself and you have all the answers. And the reason why I know you have all of the answers is because you're the only one that lived your life. There are people that say,

I totally understand what you're going through. No, you don't. No, you don't understand what I'm going through. That's why my book is about utilizing your superpowers. I walk outside. I see someone in a grocery store. They have a superpower that I can tap into that they know something or they feel something or they experience a certain way of life better than me and I can learn from them. And I say to do that with yourself.

Literally go into your life, into your body, find out what's great about you, and once you do that, you can actually utilize those same tools to lift yourself up in other places. Yeah, that's cool. What's your superpower? My superpower is acceptance. My superpower is accepting the things that I cannot change. And so there's seven superpowers in my book. If I had to utilize one of the superpowers that I think is like my greatest superpower it is To get uncomfortable. I legit love Being in the most uncomfortable state. It's comfortable for you to be uncomfortable It's yeah, well I had to accept it, but maybe that's why I like scary movies though mmm because I love the feeling of I haven't

Seen it yet. I'm terrified Yo, it knew one out of control have you seen it yeah of course my nephew saw it and he was like this is amazing I was like

I don't know the whole kid like saying yo Flo 2 I'm like get me out of here it's crazy it's legit

if you don't like scary movies it's a nightmare I like Saw I've seen every Saw movie that's the realer did you see the most recent ones

yeah it was alright. The first one is really good. They're good. Yeah, I like them. It's easy. But I think It is probably more intense, right? It's intense because there's kids involved. Like the paranormal stuff too?

Like no. There's some other trailer with some crazy stuff. I don't like paranormal stuff. Paranormal stuff is annoying to me because I've experienced paranormal situations, which I'm not going to get into because I don't want people to think I'm too weird. So you won't watch that? I mean, if somebody wanted to, but I just don't believe it as much as... This is a question that Christine wanted to ask you. Okay.

She was saying if you had a magic wand and you could give someone transformation overnight, and you could give someone transformation overnight, like whether they wanted to lose 50 pounds or transform the way they thought about something or whatever it may be, if they could transform overnight and you say, you're transformed, would you want to have that wand to give someone that ability to transform instantly, or do you believe that the growth really comes

from an overtime transformation? I would absolutely throw that magic wand out the window. 100%. One of the questions that my husband, Scott, used to ask me when we would have any kind of discussion, good or bad, he would say magic wand situation, right? And so basically he gives me the magic wand. I'm like, magic wand situation would be this. But then I realized there's still steps to get to that particular, you know, situation that you want or that dream, that magic wand situation. The other thing, the reason why I wouldn't do it, man, the small steps to success is the greatest learning tools you'll ever have. And so sometimes I tell people,

I want you to write down your roadmap to success and literally write down each step. And what that does is that helps them not try to lose 50 pounds overnight. Because as you start to go through this process of change, man, this is currency. Each thing you learn is currency for your life. And I feel like if I gave you a million dollars, because some people would be like, I want a million dollars. If I gave you a million

dollars overnight, you're going to lose it. It's like the people that win the lottery. There are statistics that say, I don't know the actual percentage, but they lose the money really quickly. And the reason why is because they don't understand what it took to make the money. And there's a lot of people out there. And I was one of them. You know, I'm from the hood. Like, we were on food stamps. You know, I wore my sneakers until they had a hole in them. And I would say, I just wish I had a whole lot of money.

And at one point, I made a lot of money. And at one point, I lost a lot of money. Yeah, you didn't know what to do with it. Because I didn't know what to do with it. Because for me, it was always like the dream to have it. But then when you actually understand what it is and you understand that it's not just paper, it's time, it's experience, it's investment, it's passion, it's helping other people. When you actually can see that money is filled with so much amazing

steps and opportunities, then it becomes less about the big picture. It becomes less about a million dollars and it becomes a lot about what did I learn from spending this money? It's funny you talk about that. I've been working with a kid. He's about to turn 20, who just won one of the biggest jackpots in history, 400 plus million. In Florida? Yeah. I've been working with him and supporting him because I'm like, listen, this is going to be the most challenging time of your life right now. Like it may seem great right now, but here are the statistics.

Here's everything you just talked about. And this isn't earned. So what type of difference and impact do you want to make in the world? You have an opportunity to not be the statistic of every other winner. And how are you going to develop your mind over the next 5, 10, 20 years and make an impact with this that's been given to you. And so it's been fun to be able to kind of support him and coach him through the process, the journey of how to manage his money and how to give himself an allowance and not just be like,

oh, I'm going to spend it on whatever I want. It's been fun to see because I'm like, if I was 20 and I got that much money, what would I do? I have no clue. And he could ruin his life. And I think there's so many lotto winners that say, I wish I didn't buy that ticket. Because their families break up,

or a lot of them die within a few years. I don't know if you know that statistic. I didn't know that statistic. A lot of them get killed, or they overdose, or something happens because they go into darkness. And you said that the only real obstacles in life are mental ones. Why do you believe that? And how do we overcome all of our mental obstacles? I get really excited when you ask me that question. I was bad. I almost didn't let you

finish asking me the question. If your body says quit, but your mind says go, you'll go every single time. And you as a decathlete, we talked about it. How many times as a decathlete did you step on the starting line or did you get ready to throw or jump? Did you say, I don't know if I can do this? A lot. But you then said, go. You know, I tell people, don't press play, press go. Because while, yes, you press play on anything, but when I play, I feel like it's a game. I'm pressing go every single time. I got to press go. Because while yes, you press play on anything, but when I play, I feel like it's a game. I'm pressing go every single time. I got to press go. And so mental challenges are only challenges

and challenges are meant to be overcome. If you actually let challenges dictate your success or dictate your roadmap, then you're going to fail. But challenges are there. Challenges are there to be climbed, to be conquered, to be fought through. And as a hurdler, I use this example all the time. As a hurdler, you have 10 challenges and 10 obstacles in your way. When you get to that seventh hurdle and that eighth hurdle, every single time, I don't care who you are, you literally ask yourself, can I jump this? Can I actually jump this? And if you say no and your mind says no, you're not going to do it. But no matter how tired you are, if your mind says I'm going to do this, you will make the step and you will give yourself the opportunity

to get over that last hurdle or that eighth or ninth or 10th hurdle. But here's the thing, you're not going to accomplish every single goal or every challenge you go after. But this is why it's important to understand that if your mind says go, you'll go every single time. Because it's really not about succeeding at something. It's about learning as you're trying to succeed at something. Because not everything you go after, you're going to succeed at. But did you learn what you need to do differently if you tried again? Or did you learn what you need to do differently if you go into another challenge that you have? And that's why, and last I'll say, if you give up,

you're more apt to continue to give up. Right. But even if you go and you don't necessarily accomplish this goal every single time, you're still going to try. For instance, last weekend or a couple weekends ago, I did a Spartan race for the first time. I've done two. They're freaking hard, man.

So hard. So I got to the Olympus. Did you do the one where the Olympus where it's like an angled wall and you're like climbing across and you got like hand holes and rock climbing things? So yeah. So that was the first one that I didn't get through. And it wrecked me because I was- The rest of the time you're like- Because I'm just like, what do you mean? And everyone else I was with made it through that obstacle. And then I had to tell myself, I'm like, it's not about them. It's about you. You're the only one in your body.

But I was so mad. So then we get around and we go. And then we get to the rope climb. Oh, that's the worst. And this was, well, it's got to be hard for you. So hard, man. So we get to the rope climb and I had people who had completed insanity who were at this race and they were coming to me like, oh, Sean, you got this. And they're helping me try to get through this

rope. This is the most amazing thing. You got pressure too. You got to. They just told me, I used your workouts to be able to do the Spartan race. Oh my gosh. And now they're helping. I actually didn't take it as pressure though. Oh, that's good. I took it as, well, damn, I did something right and I inspired this person to do 60 days of hell. I'm going to let them help me through this. Wow, that's cool.

Right? But then I had multiple people showing me how to do this rope and none of it was working for me. You're like, fall down. I have everyone watching me. There's the cameras. I'm literally feeling really low.

And I'm like on the verge of crying, full disclosure, because I'm just like, how is this possible? Everyone else got it and here I am again. This is, I think,

three obstacles later and everybody's finished. And so, I just had to block out everyone and I had to use one of my superpowers, which is creative.

I said, forget the way everyone else does something. I'm going to do it my way that I had to use one of my superpowers, which is creative. I said, forget the way everyone else does something. I'm going to do it my way. I need to figure this out and do this my way. So I said to myself, okay, so the bottom of your shoes have these hooks, these like, you know, it's kind of like cleats, but not really. I said, you got to use these shoes. Yeah. So I put my arms up and I clenched my feet. And I was like, I have really strong thighs. So I clenched my feet up and I got the rope in between these like divots in the shoes. And then I just started climbing and I made it and I fell down, like rip my hands apart or whatever, but it didn't matter. It was about finding a way to be creative, to continue to tell my mind,

say go, say go, say go. Because I was like, I'm not doing another 30 burpees. No, that's the worst, man. Anyway, so it just brings it back to you have to be creative too. You can't just not go after something if something doesn't work one way. And there might be a million different ways, but you might have a very unique way of getting through any obstacle or any challenge that other people have gotten through. And their way may not have worked for you, but your way will work for you. This is your life. You take control of your life. You've had the experiences in your life. Only you know you best. It doesn't matter. Your spouse doesn't know you the best. Your mother doesn't know you best.

You know you best, especially as an adult. So utilize your superpowers. Utilize the tools that you have in your life to achieve greatness, to achieve and go after anything that it is that you want. And last, I'll say, and I said this before, but success is not based on a number. It's based on a feeling. So if you feel like you gave your best, that means you're successful, period. Yeah, that's great.

A couple final questions for you. Okay. You're almost 40. You've achieved a lot in these 40 years. If you could achieve anything you wanted to in the next 40, what would you create for your life? That is a loaded question. A couple things, you know? So I'm sure you want to do a lot of things, but.

Well, one of my fears, when I got married, I didn't want to have kids. And I realized it was a fear that I wouldn't be a good dad because of, you know, what happened to me. And it was just kind of like very clouded, right? It was like, can I do this? I didn't know what it was like to have a biological father and what that relationship was like. And so I'm in it now. And Scott constantly tells me, he tells me I'm the baby whisperer. He's like, wow, you're doing a really good job. So that makes me feel really good.

a really good job. So that makes me feel really good. But the goal is to just be the best dad and husband that I can be to really help these two little things thrive. Yeah. They'll be kids soon, but for me, they're still things. So that's one. And for me, it's just about creating longevity and staying relevant to myself. What does that mean? What happens is you can reach a certain level of success and you can just kind of get in the hamster wheel. And it's just, okay, I'm just going in a circle and I'm running really fast and I'm getting things done because this hamster

wheel is actually creating energy. But I'm not staying flexible and I'm not doing new things. So for me to stay relevant within myself is to constantly challenge myself to do new things, to open my mind to new possibilities and always say yes. Because I think if you always say yes, even if it's something you shouldn't do, if you saying yes is really just accepting the challenge or accepting the idea.

So yes, I'm going to accept the idea. Maybe you say no to the actual thing because of safety reasons or it just doesn't fit for you. But if I constantly say yes, that means I'm opening my mind to new possibilities. And if I open my mind to new possibilities, then change is going to be constant. Change is going to be constant. And you have to. Change is good. Change is so good. It's the most amazing thing you can experience because you're learning something new. And that's what I say. People say you learn something new every day. And I want to tell people, try to learn something new that's

not on social media every day. Learn something that's in the world. Learn something from the person you meet at the grocery store or the person you meet at the gas station or whatever the case may be. Communicate with other people. Learn something new, not just by keeping your head down, but by keeping your head up. Ooh, I like that. This is called the three truths. So imagine that you do create everything you want. You live as long as you want, and you're able to manifest all the dreams that you have, personally, professionally.

It all happens. Listen, I'm just thinking you have personally, professionally. It all happens. Listen, I'm just thinking. I'm in it. It all happens. Maybe it doesn't happen the way you want it, but you manifest it eventually the way it's supposed to happen. And for whatever reason, you have to take all of that with you. So no one has access to any of your information anymore because you bring it with you when you die. And so you've done it all, but then it's gone with you.

Wow. But you have a piece of paper and a pen to write down three truths or three lessons that you know from everything you've learned in your life. And that's what would be left behind. Okay. And that's all they would have to remember you by and your message because you took everything else with you.

So if it's the last day and you're writing down your three truths, what would you share with the world? I mean, I have like a hundred things in my head, but I'm trying to come up with those last three things. I would say you are who you are. That's the first thing, because a lot of people that I experienced in my life, especially as a gay male, which I really don't like titles, but some people say they don't want to be who they are. And that's not just sexuality. It's because something happened to them and they say, I don't want to be who I am, but I say, you are who you are. So it's basically accept yourself for who you are at this moment. So you are who you are. Love as much as possible because love really does win. It really does win it really does win in relationships

one of the things that I hate when people get divorces because of things that can be changed or fixed and if you remember why you started loving that person in the first place you'll understand that like you both have have, but you have to accept that person for who they are at this moment. And so love always wins. And then my last thing would be f***ing have fun. Like live your best life.

Have as much fun as possible and laugh as often as you possibly can. And fun also involves like surrounding yourself with people that are going to going to help you have fun but are also going to challenge you. Because fun is so much better than just always being serious. Yeah. I love that, man. Before I ask the final question, I want to make sure you guys get the book. Sean T. is for transformation.

Make sure you guys get this. Unleash the seven superpowers to help you dig deeper, feel stronger, and live your best life. So go pick it up right now. We'll have it linked up on the show notes and everything else, but it's in Barnes & Noble, Amazon. SeanT.com, is that the main site for you? SeanTFitness.com. SeanTFitness.com. Yes.

And then Sean T Fitness on social media? Sean T on social media. Sean T on social media. So make sure you guys follow Sean T on social media. Give him a shout out. Let him know what you thought about this interview as well. Sean T on social media, so make sure you guys follow Sean T on social media. Give him a shout out. Let him know what you thought about this interview as well, because I'm sure you'd love to hear people's feedback.

Absolutely. Before I ask the final question, I want to acknowledge you for a moment, Sean, for your incredible authenticity and your ability to bring the best out of so many people. There's a lot of people who are hurting in the world, and they come to you for inspiration, motivation, fitness motivation fitness mindset all the things that you've been teaching and you've transformed thousands and thousands of lives so i just acknowledge you for being the gift that you are in this world and for allowing your pain to not hold you down but to use it to lift others up it's an inspiring message and uh mission that you've led so i I acknowledge you for that, man.

Thank you. You're welcome. Final question. Yeah, you're welcome. Final question is, what's your definition of greatness? My definition of greatness is being your biggest fan. Being your biggest fan. Trust and believe in who you are.

And if you trust and believe in who you are, and you're your biggest fan, that means you're doing things that are great for you every single day, and you will be great. And that energy will filter out to the rest of the world. You don't even have to say a word, but if you're your biggest fan and you own it, then man, everyone is going to feel it. And so here's a little funny story. One of the things that I love is, this is so, this is going to sound weird, but it's serious.

I love the way women walk when they walk with confidence. There's just something about it. It's like the craziest thing. I don't know why. Or people in general. But I was running around my neighborhood a few weeks ago. And I always would see this woman walking when I would drive by. So at this point when I was running,

I encountered her and she was literally walking like she was on a Victoria's Secret runway show. Outside, she had her hair done. She had makeup done. She had on a nice workout outfit, but she was walking. And I was just so excited about that because I was like, she's literally living in confidence. And I don't know why she does this, but I'm sure she walks at least 30 minutes because I know the road that she's walking down. And so for 30 minutes a day, she is her biggest fan. For 30 minutes a day, there's no chairs and seats and cameras out there, but I'm going to tell you what's happening to her mind. Man, when she is walking down that street,

she is taking her own pictures, she is cheering herself on, and she is feeling better at the end of that walk because she did it. So I tell people, give yourself time. Give yourself time every day, and that will help you believe in yourself, and that will help you be your biggest fan, and ultimately will help you trust and believe in who you are.

Trust and believe. Shanti, come through, baby. Come through. Yes. Thank you. Oh, we're jamming. I love this. Some hip hop abs from my heart and my soul.

I hope you guys enjoyed this one. It was insanity, right? I love it. If you enjoyed this, make sure to share it out with your friends, lewishouse.com slash 611. Take a screenshot of this right now. Post it on your Instagram story. Put that link in there.

Tag me at lewishouse and at Sean T. Let's connect. Let us know what you thought of this. And also, the full video interview is over at lewishouse.com slash 611. You can subscribe and follow us over on YouTube where all of our videos go every single day. We've got a new video on YouTube, whether it be the interview, behind the scenes, tips, strategies for building your business, your lifestyle, all that is happening at youtube.com slash lewishouse. So make sure to check that out.

I hope you guys enjoyed this one because I thought it was extremely powerful. And I've just loved connecting with Sean ever since we had him on the show. Oh, it's been a powerful week. On the last episode, we had Urban Meyer, the legendary college coach, three-time national champion talking about leadership and competitiveness. So inspiring. Today, we've got Sean T. in the house. Trust and believe, baby.

It's all about transformation, and he brought the energy and the vulnerability, and we've got some big stuff coming up. That's right, guys. Get excited. excited every single Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. We bring you some of the greatest insights, interviews, and information to help you unlock your inner greatness. You deserve it. You deserve to have this knowledge, this information available at your fingertips, and we're bringing it to you every single week. If you have any suggestions, feel free to head over to lewishouse.com, click on the contact form, and email us if you have any suggestions. We're always trying to improve this to make it better for you, to help you unlock your inner greatness. You matter, your dreams matter, and I hope you know how much you are loved today. Again,

don't fear failure. Fear being in the exact same place next year as you are today. I love you guys, and you know what time it is. It's time to go out there and do something great. Thank you. I'm a zombie I'm a zombie