The School of Greatness - 63 From Dancing on Broadway to Hollywood Success with Alexis Carra

Episode Date: April 28, 2014

Do you want a thriving career, an empowering relationship and to see your dreams become a reality? Our next guest on the School of Greatness doesn't have all the answers, but she definitely has achieved some remarkable things. She was the "swing" girl on Broadway and then made a successful move from theatre in New York to Television in Los Angeles. Now she is the star of the hilarious show, Mixology, where she delivers knock-out performances. To get show notes, and join the community, visit www.LewisHowes.com/63

This is episode number 63 with Alexis Cara. Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, a former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin. What is up, greats?

Thanks so much for hanging out with me today and spending some time with me in your ears. Yeah, it sounds a little creepy, but I'm hanging out in your ears today and I've got a friend of mine on. Her name is Alexis Cara, and she is a fabulous individual, extremely stunning, and talented in many different areas of life.

But today, we're going to be talking about her and her hit new show called Mixology, which is on ABC. She's one of the lead actors on the show. It's extremely funny. It's by the guys who created The Hangover. So for all of you who like that type of humor, check out this show. And Alexis has a very interesting story about how she got to becoming a star on Broadway and then taking her career and transitioning from New York City to Hollywood and making it on TV as a star on TV. And the journey that I took her from Broadway, all the training for the years of not getting a hit role on a show, on a major TV show in Hollywood,

and then how she got the gig, and what's next for her, and all that stuff in between. So had a great time talking with her today. We hung out in the studio. I'm excited to introduce you to her and let you dive into her story. So without further ado, let me introduce you to the one and only Alexis Cara. Welcome back, everyone, again to the School of Greatness. I'm super excited today. I've got my friend Alexis Cara on the show. Thank you for having me.

And you're going to have a sultry, sexy voice this whole episode, so I'm very excited. I know. I feel a little bit like, oh, I feel like I should start singing in a room in jazz. Exactly. That is a dream. That is a dream. I'd love to do a jazz, a jazz singer someday but we'll get there we'll get there you sing i do i am a singer i just watched part of your uh what is it a mentalist

reel oh yeah you're singing for like three seconds yeah little jazz numbers i play a total b-i-t-c-h in that you look like she is yeah that character was not not happy so alexis is a friend of mine we've been friends for what like like six months now, I think. I think we met originally at Summit Series, maybe before then. Yeah, we met before that. We hung out there. And you are close friends with a good friend of mine, Caduce, who's been on the show. And you guys are actually together and living together and having a great relationship.

And we got to hang out. We've been hanging out over the last six months here and there and I'm very excited because before, when I first met you, you were working on a show

and now the show is out. It's called Mixology and it's extremely hilarious. Thank you. So congratulations. Thank you. And you've played a big role in there so far.

It's been like half the episodes are out right now, right? Yeah, tonight is episode six. So we've got- Episode six. How long does the season go? 13. Wow, that's long.

Yeah, well, most comedies are 22. So it's actually half a season. Really? Uh-huh. Yeah. Okay. Man, that's a long time though. 13 episodes, first season, and what's the response so far?

13 episodes first season and what's the response so far well it's it's mixed which i'm you know i'm i'm really in this place right now we might as well get into the life stuff where i'm like in surrender mode because um i think i i i'm i'm discovering that when so many people feel a certain way about something, like when there's like an all mentality, like if everyone loved the show, there's not as much diversity or fun in that. And where's the, I love those gray areas. I love the, I'm really starting to embrace the differences of opinions,

even if something that could be hurtful. And that's one of the things that in my life I've noticed, um, that I've been working on personally is being, not taking things as personally, um, I'm working on personally. I'm just gonna keep saying that or that adverb. Um, and, uh, so the show has, has been welcome to mixed reviews. And I say, welcome because a lot of people really love it. And then a lot of people really hate it. And I'm like, yes, awesome.

Because it's a really cool, I'm learning a lot. I'm, I'm learned a lot at how I could different ways. I could have played Jessica to create a little bit of a different, um, result really. Um,

but. Mo I would say most people really like the show that i well of course people you know but i have i have some i have some on it my friends that i've given permission to really be honest with me and i like one friend of mine who he this is a friend who i would really want to love the show and he just he doesn't he likes my character and he's like and i think you're doing a great job and perhaps perhaps I am biased towards you. But he just doesn't happen to like the show. But that's like one in every five people.

I think most people love it. I mean, I think I just like that type of humor. It's by the Hangover guys who wrote it, right? And so for me, the Hangover is hilarious. And maybe just because I'm like a young dude or something. It's an LOL. Yeah, it's just like, it's ridiculous. And it's just funny.

And I don't know if I didn't know you you know i still think i would love it like i'm laughing so much during the show okay like laughing out loud not just like he he you know i'm like this is hilarious so yeah i could do this less out loud too which is it's fun it's fun and again i don't know if it's because i know you so i'm like open and i'm like oh oh yeah, this is going to be great. But I think it's incredible. So hopefully they pick it up for another season. Is that the plan right now or what's the deal? Well, we still don't know. The hands of the show are in the network.

So we'll know probably end of May whether or not we'll get a second season. So it's a little bit of, again, surrender, free fall because I'm in a contract with ABC Network, which I love working for them, Disney. I see your Disney quote up there. If you can dream it, you can do it. I actually spent my birthday at Disney this year. Oh, that's right. Caduceus took you. Well, we went because I'm an ABC employee.

We had a guide the whole time so i got to take my sister my nephew and my boyfriend and we went to the park with we got the fast passes and we were at the front of the lines and we had somebody take it was a dream wow it was awesome um and i hadn't been to disneyland only i've only been to disney world so um but yeah i think the plan of course would be to have the show for sure for at least another eight seasons um i don't know if the if there's the sustainability is there with the concept with the exact same cast but these these these showrunners are creators the hangover guys john lucas and scott moore a they're two of the most collaborative and humble people that i've ever met in this industry

and part of that comes from their self-deprecating humor which is very funny um but they really they really are um two guys who are really open to anything so i feel like the show could go on longer than what people would think a lot of people like i don't see how this how you guys could have another season how it could work i'm like oh you just wait these guys are creative and and we have some ideas and how it could work. And I'm like, Oh, you just wait. These guys are creative. And, and we have some ideas and we've heard some ideas from them. So the network loves our show. So fingers crossed.

And they wouldn't create a show for like one season, but the potential of one season, right. They'd create it with the potential of few seasons at least. Yeah. It would be a really not a great business model. Be like, you guys, we had this amazing show and it's only for one season.

Although actually, you know that some people would be like, guys, we had this amazing show, and it's only for one season. Although actually, some people would think that there'd be something shiny in that. But this is designed to have many seasons. That's cool. Well, hopefully it continues. I think it's funny. Thank you. Now, how old are you now?

33. 33. Is that your stage number? No. I'm just kidding. 1981. Because most women, I feel like, in Hollywood are always No. No, I'm just kidding. 1981. Because most women, I feel like, in Hollywood are always like, oh, I'm 23 when they're really like 30.

Yeah. I don't know. I'm pretty much just about keeping it real. That's good. Yeah. Now, you went to Yale. I did. Which is pretty impressive.

And then you took a break to go do theater for a while. You've done your research. And then, yeah, well, I've talked to you since it's on your website but yeah and then you you got the bug to do broadway and you were like on wicked and a few other shows how long were you on those you know the broadway i was on the great white way as we call it uh for about almost six years wow Wow. Yeah. Right out of college. I did the national tour of the show Fosse when I was 19. That's what I, I, I took my first semester of my junior year off and I toured with the company. So I, after that, I was very clear that I was like, okay, I want to do this.

Like this is, it was what, it was my biggest dream was to always dance on Broadway. I just, my intellectual, rational brain, I come from a family of doctors, really wanted me to want to do something else, but in my heart, that's what it was. And my family was totally supportive. They were scared, but they were supportive. My mom was, she did a lot for me to,

I would not, definitely not be where I'm at without my mom. I mean, and I know everyone says that, i'm like i i i really truly mean my mom has just been the absolute support and rock and tough love too to face some of the realities of this business which are are um not shiny and pretty and broadway, it was my dream come true. It's not an easy life. It's a tough schedule. The eight shows a week. You work on holidays.

You're working when everyone else is off. You do, you know, there's a, you're doing the same thing every night. It's a different audience. And now I think I'm going back into, I went back to Wicked once a couple years ago, and I had done some work on myself.

No, to be in it. Wow. And I'd done some work on myself, and I noticed how I was like, oh, I can really shift how I experience this show and how I could... I just went into it with a lot more gratitude than I think I used to.

I think I used to take Broadway a little bit for granted because it is because of the eight show week schedule and you are doing the same show it's like the show it doesn't change but how you are in the show changes i mean every day is different and the audience is different and um but it's it takes a number on your body yeah and i when i got the last show i did in New York was called The Pirate Queen and it was a the guys who created Les Mis and Miss Saigon it was their show with the Riverdance producers

and it was a beautiful epic huge 18 million dollar production that flopped really it was and it was it was tough

it was a really talented cast and it just it couldn't get its legs and after that I was just kind of like I need a change I was just ready of like, I need a change. I was just ready to take a leap.

What year was this? It was 2007. Wow. Okay. So I came out here that fall, but I still had my place in New York. And I was here when the writer's story happened. Perfect timing. I know.

It was great. But I did get a feel for living here. And I took some classes. And I had savings so that I could really take the time to discover what I wanted to do. And then in 2008, an opportunity opened up when Wicked was in Los Angeles to work on the show and that was a perfect opportunity to actually move across the country and I had a job. So you did Wicked here.

So that was here for like a year then or what was that? They were here for a while, but I did the show for about a year out here. Okay. On and off for like a year then or what was that they were here for a while but i did the show for about a year out here okay on and off for about a year so your goal was to live out here and work but also kind of get in the acting scene was that kind of like the next transition the goal was definitely to get into television and film and wicked was a vehicle not only financially but just like logistically to for to have the reason to really make the full move and i noticed that like now i'm creating an opportunity to be bi-coastal because I'm now working both coasts. But at that time, it was like I had to put both feet

in one city and really be committed to the television and film. And that took a while to get really clear about that. And it wasn't really until I think 2012 that I was like 1,000% in to a point where I was like, I'm so into whatever is going to happen, but I am bringing my whole self in it no matter what. And then the result didn't even matter because I knew that I could leave. If I chose it, I could be like, I literally gave everything I had.

Wow. I left it all on the floor, like sweat, blood, tears, joy, everything. And that's when the results came. Wow. Okay, so let's back up because we skipped past Broadway quickly and how you're just like, yeah, I was on Broadway and it happened. So for most people, that's like a dream come true. And it takes years of them training and all this dedication and commitment

and moving to New York and failing over and over and over again. So how did it happen? So it seems so quickly for you to get just like, Oh, I'm on wicked. I mean, were you like a lead or were you just, uh, I was in the ensemble. Okay. Um, I wasn't a lead in any of the shows I did. I was, um, ensemble and I would understudy a lot of times or I would dance captain the shows, which was mean with that.

I would be a part of crew keeping like the show looking clean and put together um but i i moved to new york and because i had the fossey experience like i had that credit and i had what's my union card my equity card it did make it a little easier for me to just like go to auditions because in the broadway scene which is different from right here you don't really have to have an agent you can just go to auditions because in the Broadway scene, which is different from right here, you don't really have to have an agent. You can just go to auditions. They're open calls all the time. They're required. They're called equity required calls.

So like Wicked every six months has a required call. And that's how I got Wicked. I went to an open call. And they were just like, we like you. And they loved me. And I had a, I just, it clicked. And they called me like three months later. I was like, I kept on like a file for them

and they're like, we have a spot on the show. We want you to do it. And I was like, I was actually doing another job at the time in California and I had to get out of that gig to go to Wicked because, yeah. That was like, that's like a big gig, right? Wicked?

Huge. It was huge. They had just won the Tony and I was one of their first replacements and I did what's called vacation swinging at the time, which I... Sounds sexual. A swing in a Broadway show is somebody who learns all the parts. So I learned all of the female parts in the chorus. I knew them all, where they go, where they change. Wow, okay, that's cool.

It's crazy. That's a lot. That's like being the quarterback and knowing where everyone goes in the field, every play, every movement. But then also doing those plays. Jeez. Because I don't just know it, I have to then do it. Wow, so you're like the Jill of all trades or whatever.

Yeah, you're like the Jedi gypsy member. You know everything. That's incredibly hard. So it was intense. And so I did that for Wicked. I did that for Fosse. And I did that for Sweet Charity, which was another show I did, which is another Fosse show. But it was a revival.

And Christina Applegate was the star. And she was awesome to work with. And I was the only female swing for that. So you threw everything. Everything. There's a swinger for each show, I'm assuming. A swing show a swing not a swing there probably are swingers in each show but but there's a swing for yeah there's usually several swings okay um and someone goes down one night then you gotta hop in right oh that's how the first time i ever went on in sweet charity

but in sweet charity because of our budget we only had one i covered nine people usually there's at least two lines andines and everything. Everything. Dances, lines. Yes, everything. Everything, everything, everything. How do you remember all of that? I don't know.

Oh my gosh. I was good at it. And that's part of the reason why I left New York is because I got known as the girl who I could do everything. So I could never really just move into wanting to just have my own track or be a lead or whatever it was sometimes that's a challenge the person who can do everything can't do anything

really well right because you're just like good well i had to learn to say no so i did and i towards the end of my career after i had did swung sweet charity and dance which was a tremendous experience with a lot of ups and downs um i i finally was really clear that like the next show i was going to do i was going to literally only just have my part no other responsibilities and i would just enjoy the run and that's what i did in the show the pirate queen it was about a year and a half of employment of just like creating a show from the ground up and my own what they call track was like my, like what I would do in the show. And it was awesome.

It was a really great way to end my Broadway experience. But I'm ready to go back to Broadway. Really? Oh, yeah. Already? That's part of the reason why I came out here. Is I was like, the only way I'm going to really get to be, play a role that I would really love to play on stage as if i'm if i get a name for myself because that's kind of how it works in new york now most of the leads are you got to get

famous and then you can have like a lead wow that's interesting yeah wow so i've been i've been like really putting that out there so broadway is what you want still i would like to do it that's why i'm saying i want to go by coastal i would love to do a show for like four months or um a run like a six-week run of a play or like be in chicago for six weeks and on broadway and and then be able to have shoot my series here and do all the philanthropy and all now what if you could combine it into one thing like a smash hell heck yeah that'd be cool huh i love to smash i don't know why they canceled it i know megan hilty i did um wicked with megan which one's megan the blonde oh yeah she's great yeah the one who could sing yeah yeah yeah she did wicked she was like the lead right whatever

yeah i mean that's like the ultimate right yeah you could do tv and well that's what i'm starting a production company and that's what part of the company is, is to do more. It's called Cine Dance Worldwide. And it's about it's creating stories that are involved dance and music and different forms of storytelling to kind of weave all that in. Because that's what I love to do. I love to be on camera and tell stories. And I love to dance and sing. And performing.

And it doesn't have to always be like, oh, it was like a Broadway. It doesn't have to always be like meals like a broadway like it doesn't have to always be that even though i actually still love that it can it can it can look different ways you know i mean there's a lot of creative people with lots of fun ideas so i want to find those people and help them develop it and produce them and that'd be cool be like baz luhrmann that's cool only american and blonde so so how long so you were out here doing wicked what year was that 2008 2008 and then when did the musical theater or broadway stuff and 2009 like i pretty much did it for the whole year and then i chose the company moved to san francisco and i chose to stay in la like i want to be here i was like i came out here to do film and television. And so I took that leap of faith and I had a little bundle of savings. And I just went hardcore into...

For the last five years now, right? Yeah. That's what you've been doing. Yeah, my first pilot season was 2009. So 9, 10, 11, 12, 13. And I booked Mixology. So it took you five years of being out here. Pilot season is like one month in February, right?

Or it's just two weeks or something like that, right? It depends. It's really a few months, actually. It kind of usually starts end of January, early Feb, and it can go through March, sometimes April. This was a short pilot season this year, but last year it was a long pilot season. So it depends on the number of projects and the budgets

and da-da-da-da. Okay. Then it works. So the goal is to kind of hone your acting skills, get some commercial gigs here and there to make some money, and then get ready for pilot season? Is that kind of what actors do, or how does it work? I don't think that there's a formula, but that's ultimately what I decided to do. I decided to pare down my extra commitments during pilot season last year so i

could really focus and i that that was the difference for me is that every audition was like not that it was so precious like oh this is the audition that's going to change my life like not in that way but i just gave like said, I just gave my all to everything because that's, it felt good. It's like, it is the analogy, like it's harder to,

you know, go at 75% than it is to go at 150%. It takes, to me, it's like, I just was like, I'm in.

I'm in this for all of it. For as long as it takes or what? Yeah. I mean, well, no, actually,

I did kind of say like, this is the year I'm just giving my all and then I'll reevaluate. Yeah. Yeah. 2013. Really? You're like, I'm gonna give them all because you've been here for five years. Yeah.

And I started to feel like that because I'm a person, I consider myself an intelligent person who wants to give back to the world and wanted to like live in a purpose. If I wasn't living the purpose that I was meant to live, then I was like, okay, I need to re-look at what really is what I really want to do because I didn't want to keep living in a realm of not doing what I said I wanted to do. You know what I'm saying?

So then I was like, I thought, well, maybe I'll shift to writing. I mean, I didn't know what that was going to be, but then mixology happened and it's just completely affirmed it. And who knows what will happen. I may be back in pilot season next year. I mean, I don't know.

And I could be here. I could sit here a year from now and have just turned 34 and say, wow, I am in the game again. Wow. And I would rather be here saying we're in the middle of shooting another season or whatever, but I'm in it for the long haul now. Really? Yeah.

You've got a taste of it. What's it taste like? Yeah. Sweet and salty and a little bit of a crunch. Is it as good as you dreamed it would be? Yeah, absolutely. Really? And a little bit of a crunch. It's. Is it as good as you dreamed it to be? Yeah, absolutely. Really?

And it's just going to keep getting better. Because I really, I finally feel like I can be responsible for any kind of, anything that comes out of it. I mean, I definitely didn't get in this industry to be famous or to like, I didn't even, I actually really didn't even think about even like, oh, I want a platform to like do good in the world. I didn't even think about it that way at first. I just, it was the only thing that even though I actually was, I actually thought at one point I would be a doctor. I was really interested in, in, in neurosurgery because I'm fascinated by the brain and human

behavior, but that's actually, I'm a performer by, by nature. It's just what I do. I'm dancing is literally like my soul food. Yeah. We've danced together. We have a little salsa. Yeah.

You guys, Lewis is, does everybody know that you're like a ridiculous salsa dancer? I think some people know that I dance, but okay. Well, I've outed you on all your fans. Hashtag salsa, hashtag salsa. Cause Lewis can salsa. Hashtag salsa because Louis can salsa.

But that being said, I really, I, there's nothing else that I want to do but tell stories. And I think that other, I know that there are other things I will do. And like, as I get older and life, there's changes in life. And I know that I could see myself running a nonprofit. Or I actually told Caduceus, I was like, you know what, I could actually see myself being an ambassador someday or a senator. I'm open to actually being in politics someday. I know that sounds crazy. But for right now, I see that any kind of platform I'm building is based around me being a storyteller and an actor and creative. What is it about stories that you love to tell so much?

It touches people, it touches people it moves people it accesses parts of people i think that we don't use in a day-to-day life but when they escape into a story they can like let themselves go into places that are afraid they're afraid to go in their own lives so hopefully it touches them to go there in their own lives or to even just stop and pause and think about it and maybe maybe it means like, I saw this movie and I picked up the phone and called my mom and I had to tell her about this movie I saw. Or, you know, I mean, I like to do stories that even if they're about things that are dark, like that there's an element of something in them that is transformative.

A silver lining. Yeah, a silver lining playbook. Or, you know, Dallas Buyers Club. That was a great movie. Yeah, it was just, oh my gosh incredible 12 years a slave all the movies that were nominated for oscars this year are just blue jasmine i was just yeah floored by it i mean i was like that's why we do what we do and then lupita speech did you see her oscar speech the the one she won best oh you got you've got to've got to see it, Lewis. She went to Yale actually too. She,

um, it, it's one of the most inspiring speeches I've ever seen. For sure. I saw McConaughey's. It's not, I mean, McConaughey's is,

was great, but this one, this, this girl just, yeah. This is from the 12, 12 years. She won best supporting actress.

I heard it was great. Yeah. And she just really nailed it home about dreams. Like sticking to your dreams it was well it could do so and i watch it and we're like it still makes me cry oh my gosh yeah maybe i'll put that in the show notes um so what's the what's the story that you remember that touched you the most um like in a film i saw or anything anything in your life Like what's a story that really you associate with that really touches you, that inspires you? You know, one of the plays I saw,

and it just turned into film, August Osage County. It was a Broadway play, and I saw it twice, and the play is a little over three and a half hours long. And I thought to myself, oh my God, three and a half hours long. And I thought to myself, oh my God, three and a half hours long. It's like an advanced course training. It's like, I mean, I'm gonna be there. I'm gonna have to like, you know, bring a snack.

It's a play about a family breaking down and what happens, how they piece together this very messed up thing that happens and everything comes out into the surface. So I like stories where people are outed and where things are made real and it's like character at a crisis, at a crossroads. And so I really like family type dark comedies i think because it has elements

that are really funny in it but it's dark i like shows like everybody loves raymond i loved you know i love um i loved sex in the city but um i like i really like edgy things that are that have like a grit to them but that there's humor to it, because that's life. You know what I'm saying? There's another, when I was younger, I used to like these really intense relationship pieces. There's this movie I saw called Ordinary People with Tim Hutton and Donald Sutherland.

Mary Tyler Moore is one of my heroes. She's unreal. She's amazing. I love Mary Tyler Moore is one of my heroes. She's unreal. She's amazing. Like, I love Mary Tyler Moore. And she's in this movie, and she plays this ice-cold B-I-T-C-H mother. And it's a story about this family and the two brother. It's these two brothers, and one of the brothers dies in a boating accident. And it's really the fault of the other brother.

And the mother cannot forgive her son. Oh my gosh. So it's, and the father is just trying, is so loving and it's like this story about this, I mean it makes me cry thinking about it because it's like, it's just an intense, but it's not so dark. I mean there's these moments of levity where you see this family just trying

to put themselves back together. It's just so real. It's just like writers who are not afraid to write the real things. And to me, the most important things in life are relationships. It's a thing that gives us the most gratification and also that can bring us down the most because they mean so much. I don't care as much about my iPhone cracking or my little bits of dings on my shiny nice car like i don't care i don't care if i you

know those things are like to me the surfacy things where people aren't really wanting to look at what's underneath it and so a story that looks that lifts the that lifts the mattress and you see all the gook on the inside. I like that. Now let's, let's stay on relationships. Let's stay on relationships because I'm assuming you've been in a number of relationships since you're in Broadway and your whole career, right? And could you tell a difference with your performance and with your energy

when you were in a, a great relationship as opposed to one that just wasn't working? Yeah. Or could you just separate yourself when you were working i think when i was younger it was harder for me to and i because the broadway community is even is really small i pretty much dated within the community so if there was drama going on everybody knew and like it was very and i i did a few things in my past that were you know i don't regret them because i learned a lot but i hurt some people i think we've all hurt people and and these are

really good people that i never really you know now i look back i'm like why i really mishandled that but um i i do find that i thrive in relationships excuse Excuse me. I find that I'm freer creatively when I'm in a solid, loving relationship for me. But I actually booked Mixology when I was single. And I was single most of 2012 and the beginning of 2013. So, but I don't think that that's like, I'm not making anything up about that. I'm not like, I only book when I'm single. So now if I want to book a job, I better break up with my boyfriend.

But what's funny is that a lot of times that would happen is I would have a breakup and then I would start booking. Because your energy would be shifted. Yeah. You'd be open. You wouldn't have this monkey in your bag. Yeah, and I'd be like, I don't, whatever. Like, oh, like come in Beyonce.

You know what I mean? But I'm, that's, you you know I don't have any sort of like oh that's what has to happen in order to put things like for sure um so uh yeah does that answer your question I think so yeah okay you guys are at relationships now you know I would consider myself a performer in my own right as an athlete you know i was always striving to be competitive and be in front of an audience and playing the big game and for me a lot of it was when i look back on it is because i didn't really feel uh i guess like seen a lot when i was a kid and so i wanted to get really good at something and so i could get acknowledged and be seen and be like you know

loved and feel like people wanted to be around me sure you know as a kid that's how i thought so as an actress an actor i guess you don't call yourself an actress you should call yourself an actor right yeah it's kind of lame i can't i say actress i don't know i interchange it's interchangeable to me i'm not going to be picky it's like you have to say flight attendant now as opposed to stewardess yeah right anyways so as an actor you know what is your what was your driving force growing up to be a dancer and to be a performer and like why did you want to do that was it uh just because you loved the art when you were seven years old or was it because of something else i had because i had fun because i had fun and then

when i didn't have fun and then I started to really gain my self-worth from it I mostly had fun but then I also was very hard on myself so I would be the

my dance teachers would be like like if I would go to a dance competition and the performance didn't go well and everybody knew that they're like, oh, she's gonna be fit.

Whose turn is it to go backstage? Because I would be like, like I was, oh yeah, I was totally dramatic. Completely like, but it's because I care because I wanted to do so good. And I really think that a lot of it is definitely approval seeking. And it's how I would measure my self-worth is how good I felt I did in my performances.

Why is that? I don't know. I think, I don't know, maybe my mom certainly loved me plenty in my childhood. I don't have a great relationship. I never had a great relationship with my father. We're, we're mending that now. And I'm, I'm very happy about that. I mean, I'm not going to blame why I'm a, I mean, there's no blame to be had. Like, no, it's no one's fault. You know, I think that, I think every kid wants, like you said, wants to feel validated. And when you find something that you're good at and that happens to be fun and you start to get the validation from it, it's that balance as a kid is of maintaining the, that I'm here

just to play the game. Like the joy is in the work versus the joy is in that I did the work and everybody saw me and they love me and I won, bitches. You know what I mean? So it's a beautiful dance between the two and I'm still learning that dance. I'm still in that dance.

But I'll tell you what, the times where I felt the happiest, like truly blissed out, are when I'm all in and I don't care at all about the result because it's not like I've had that I've had those moments and I mixology was definitely one of them I was like so in it like and happy to be right where I was that I didn't even care if I booked it I really truly didn't I fully I like people are like no you obviously care and I'm it. I really, truly didn't. I fully, I like people are like, no, you obviously care. And I'm like, well, yes, I care. I want it, but it's not gonna, it can't, it can't hurt me

because I'm, I'm truly not, I'm, I'm, I'm in it because I, because I, I like, I loved it and because I was all in and that was the part that was the most so you were very present as opposed to yeah i guess to the result yeah i guess i guess i i just was i was in it because it feels better it feels like my self-worth was coming not out of whether or not i booked it but whether how much i gave how much am i going to give to this all of it well that makes me feel good about myself because then i can go it's like when i would study for tests, my mom would always say, I don't care about the grade, but if you feel like you really did your best, and I think that's an important barometer for kids,

so that they start to understand that you're the gauge of whether or not it's your own best. I know when it's my best, and if I get really clear with myself and honest, and I know that I could have given more, then I'll go, okay, well, next time I'll know where to go. And then that's your own, as we would say, in transformation terms, feedback. There you go.

And give yourself your own feedback. Yeah. And with mixology and all pilot season last year, I was all in. All in. So I had no doubts. Nice. No matter what happened.

There's a book called The Four Agreements, and one of the agreements is always give your best. Don Miguel Ruiz. Is that what it is? Yeah. I haven't read the book, but I've just seen what they are. So I'm like, okay, I get it. I have the book.

You can borrow it. Okay. Yeah, I guess it's easier to give your best than to give 75% and just be all in. Yeah. And then you're going to get the result you want usually. So what if you give your best for five years like you did and then how much, when does someone, I guess,

move on when they realize they've given their best? I talked to, there's a guy I work out with at the CrossFit gym, his name is Max. He's the Schmidt on the show, new girl. And he was like, I've been here for 10 years. And there was like years where I wanted to quit and I finally got it after 10 years. I was like, how much longer does someone go until they...

I think when you're not happy anymore. That's good. When you're not happy. And it's not like a feeling. You know, we talk about not being a victim to our feelings. It's not like I wake up and i just didn't feel great happy it's like when it's a consistent earmark of yeah and you start to trans and it starts to like you lose i if i was starting to lose shape of who i am like the joy that i have and the positivity like and i i had some pretty dark moments here but i didn't i didn't hit that point but i think i would have like by year six seven i do really i know people have been out here for

15 years and it hasn't happened and they're not happy not all of them but some of them are not and then it's like well something's got to shift in order for you to get if you're that long it's like yeah you're not it's not working for you yeah so you gotta change something up but you were getting feedback though that it was working you were getting like little gigs here and there right yeah i was getting guest stars and and um and also because i i made the choice because i i felt like there was always other things that were kind of getting in the way that that's what I mean by like the all in thing. Like I knew that I had to give it a chance where I paired everything back and just focused

on this thing just to like go, well, I really like I went in. So no regrets. No regrets. Yeah. No regrets. And you were doing like some dance choreography stuff on the side. You were like working on the side as well. So wasn't like 100 acting but you were like 100 focused on being available yeah but i did say no to more of those things so that i could pare myself down

to to because that was one of the things that i found and i still i still am balancing this as i'm finding myself this year been way more committed than i ever have and it doesn't finding myself this year been way more committed than I ever have. And it doesn't support me really. Like I'm the kind of person that really thrives when I'm doing focused, when I'm doing like less is more for me. And, um, and that's been a challenge,

especially in like committing to certain, uh, things that aren't necessarily related to acting. Um, so I'm learning what that balance is. Yeah, I think there's a quote out there. I think it's from Warren Buffett. I think.

Don't quote me on that. But he says, whoever this is, says that the difference between successful people and unsuccessful people is that successful people almost say no 100% the time they say no

to all these opportunities that are constantly coming their way to distract them from the one focus yeah the goal yeah what they're really good at so i think hearing you say that you said no a lot probably supported you and getting the outcome you wanted yeah and i i'm um it you know and and then it's like this dance between once i commit to something, going, well, I committed to it, now I get to be all into it. Now I get to be all in. Otherwise, it's going to be even more exhausting. But I think no, you know, it's funny, like when I see kids saying no, I'm like, oh, that kid's, you know, like a two-year-old. My friend, I hung out with my friend, good friend of mine and her two-year-old.

And this two-year-old is really like, she's just developing her personality and she just says no. And I'm like, and her mom's secretly going yes because she's going, well, this girl thinks for herself. She's not just like a, you know. And saying no was a really powerful yes to other things i always feel like that when somebody says no it's like okay good you're saying yes to themselves in another way yeah yeah you're saying yes to something else what else is it that you really want yeah that's interesting because i think a lot of people come with the mindset of like be open saying yes to everything and be available for everything but and there's that movie with Jim Carrey.

Oh, yeah. I forget what it's called, but he has to say yes to everything. Liar, liar? Yeah, yeah, something like that or whatever. And so I feel like there's this perception of stretch yourself and do this and that, but I think being focused is also a good thing. Yeah, it's another way to look at it. There's no right way to do it.

And so I'm in the middle of doing the leadership course of a transformation um training um and it's it's it's it's challenging and i'm i'm trying it on to see where how far i can stretch um but it's it's challenging in a way that i don't know that i would keep up at this this. For a long time. Yeah, because it doesn't, it hasn't supported me in a way that I'm, I know that I will go, oh, this works for me. It's like when you find the workout, you know? I'm still, I haven't, it's not my full workout yet, but I'm figuring it out.

I'm trying it on. Yeah, and it's only for four months, so it's like, okay, you know, it's it's not like okay commit to this for 14 years anything for four months yeah so the season is on right now so you're not doing any acting you're not filming right now it's no it's done so what does it happen during the season is it kind of just like yeah promoting watch the show when it comes out yeah it's a lot it's impressed as much as as much as we can get it's um uh it's i'm still auditioning here and there um not as much for pilots but like guest stars and and any any films that we can get so i can still work on on films and um guest star

on television shows i can do a few um and so I'm still auditioning for those things. It's also about like training again. Like I'm going to get back into class and it's about refocusing, refocusing, refocusing. You know, like I'm sure after the Olympics, the athletes, well, you're an Olympic athlete. Well, I haven't made the Olympics yet, but yeah. Okay, well, you will be. Yeah.

But you're training at that level. Yes. And so, you know an Olympic athlete. Well, I haven't made the Olympics yet, but yeah. Okay, well, you will be. Yeah. But you're training at that level. Yes. And so, you know, after something big, like you tape, or you tape right before, obviously, and then you like have your big meet, and then afterwards there is a period. It's the off season. It's like what you do.

Yeah, there is that period of time where you can regroup, and I feel like I've also been now writing, and I'm slowly starting to get more into the business side of it and um uh producing because I think ultimately I would really like to be be a producer so that's fun yeah I like it yeah thank you so I see it as another way the platform can open up other opportunities yeah that's cool any more powerful keep keep getting good women producing stories for women in hollywood i like it yeah i like it well okay what's what's next then after this what if

you know what if mixology doesn't get picked up is that what you want to yeah i mean what's possible what's uh you know would you go back to broad? Would you stay out here and keep working on other shows? Would you? I would stay out here. I would stay out here, and I would probably explore what other shows, opportunities. ABC is a really big family. That's one thing that I love about them.

And so they usually, like, if they like you and they want to, you know, support you, they'll try to get you on another show or, you know? Um, so I would do that. And I'm, I'm really,

I'm really wanting to create my own content, my own. So I'd be willing to go into the jungle of independent film making. That'd be cool. Um, and I have never tried that. So, um,

that would be something that I'm really fun and that's scary for me, but I've done film yet or now. Yeah, I have done film,. So that would be something that I'm... It would be really fun. And that's scary for me. Have you done film yet or no? Yeah, I have done film, but not a big... I haven't done a big studio film. That was another one of my goals this year. And I'll just put it out there because... There you go. One of my big goals this year was not only to create and produce my own short this year,

but to book a movie opposite a master actor, a studio feature film where I'm working. And it could be even just like one scene with Denzel Washington. Great. I just want to see a master at work, a real master. Wow.

Just to experience it. That'd be kind of cool. Those guys are just next level. They're just like. Daniel Day-Lewis, Meryl Streep, Kate Blank. Daniel Day-L mean this is unbelievable if i did if i did a scene with daniel day lewis i might hyperventilate like i might that's the only thing is i would be so like in no i wouldn't i would i would go in totally professional yeah

but maybe like the day before i'd be like oh my god you know um but yeah i would just it would just be like a a to me just like this massive learning experience to just soak it all in and see this person they're just masters of their craft yep tend to louis man less mohegans still my favorite are you kidding me you're kidding me i will find you oh my gosh that was another one of the movies like i remember seeing the movie my left foot uh when i I was eight and loving it. And people were watching. I'm like, what is wrong with me?

Why do I like My Left Foot instead of, I don't know, whatever was on when I was eight. I like it. I like it. So that's a big goal for me. That's cool. Well, I'm sure you'll make it happen. Yeah. And what about you and Q?

Are you guys doing anything together? We have some ideas, but he's in the midst of a couple of other projects. So some of the ideas we have are we just like, we shelf them for down the line. But we have like a one sheet for a show that we came up with called That Couple. Oh yeah.

Because we like hashtag that couple on Instagram for a long time. That can be kind of interesting. Yeah, so we have some ideas about that. And I could see us working together because he's so open and collaborative. And I think we both have fun together so it would just be fun huh you know you think working with your partner would hurt the relationship or would help i mean

there's some people that when they work together they start like tearing apart or would that be the true test like can we make it i don't know i think lp is pretty much the true test um i i think we know it honestly that doesn't even like i don't even i'm not even scared by it i don't think he is either no because i think we both are so like i'm so cool with being independent too and having my own thing like if we felt like we were like on set all day and going home that we needed a minute like you know i he could take a couple days with the guys. You know, like, I'm cool. Like, everybody does need to have their own downtime.

Even if it's just like I'm going for a 20-minute walk by myself, whatever. You know, gym time, things like that, yoga, whatever. That can even just reset. So I'm excited to work together with him. That's cool. Really excited. I feel like you guys are, you know, really good at being independent. You guys both do your own things.

And I think some people, when they get in relationships, they really get wrapped up in each other and kind of like forget about what their, their own lives. And, you know, that's just my perception.

Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe you guys are like, you know, always together. Yeah, nonstop. But it seems like you guys have a great balance and it looks like that's what's one of the reasons it makes us healthy and

i'm sure you guys communicate constantly and things like that but with two people who are you know extremely successful and driven and motivated and high energy and influential what do you think it takes to have a powerful relationship together as well um when you're together or not together with each other at the same time what is it what's it take for two powerful people to come together and make the relationship work i think it takes um a lot of love respect and not being afraid to challenge each other. Like I used to, when I was younger, always put the relationship at stake.

Like when I felt there was a big something, a fight or anything, like it was always the whole relationship was at stake. It's a little bit of like this idea and this was something that I definitely have learned as I've gotten older. Like let's say if I have like a couple zits, like whatever, or I,

maybe I put on a couple pounds, I'm suddenly like, it becomes like, God, I've gained so much weight or, Oh, I have acne. Like I couldn't,

it's losing perspective. So I think in a, to be in a powerful, successful relationship and maintain your, it's just keeping perspective, which isn't always easy when emotions get in the way. So that perspective is key. Right.

So I think it's maintaining perspective. I think it's keeping and then keeping it light at the same time. Like sometimes it's important for us to be like, we are, no one's dying. Right. And we love each other. And even when it feels so like like intense that

there's there's a point where we we like can grab each other's hands and just like take a deep breath and go okay we actually are on the same team here yeah and it's okay for us to have different opinions in fact it's awesome that we do. Can we exist? And I think it's important that core values are the same. Money, faith, spirituality, kids, obviously morality. I mean, I wouldn't be with somebody who felt killing people was okay. I mean, you might want to pause, ladies, if your man is killing small animals randomly. And I say that lightly but i i just mean like having having the core values is essential um and then that then then your fights

aren't like rocking the core of it if your fights are constantly rocking a core then you may not be compatible and so i think compatibility is huge gotta be compatible with the person caduce and i are super compatible. Yeah. Even though we have some differences in how we do things. And I might be a little, you know, we do have our differences. We are very similar. So that helps. For sure, yeah.

So Mixology is on, what time is it on? It's on Wednesday nights at 9.30 after Modern Family on ABC. Nice. It's about halfway through right now yeah we're at episode tonight episode six airs um Tom and Maya too uh episode eight will be another big one for me um I've only seen the first six so after this week you haven't seen anymore I don't know wow yeah we haven't seen it yeah so the cast again is all I mean hilarious I recognize a couple of them. I watched the following. Oh, yeah, Aiden. The bartender.

He's awesome. He got killed off in the following last year. And he's also in the X-Men movie coming out. Is he? Oh, okay, cool. Vanessa Lenge's. This is the girl from Glee, right? Uh-huh.

Yeah, Sugar. I mean, I'm a huge Glee fan, so it was sad to see her go, but I guess she's on here now. And this guy, what's his name? Andrew Santino. He is hilarious. Yeah, what's his name? Andrew Santino. He is hilarious. Yeah, he's pretty funny. Like, I just laugh constantly. I mean, that's kind of like the, if you like hangover stuff, he's like the epitome of the

hangover jokes. Yeah, the Zach Galifianakis kind of dry, totally oblivious. Douchey. Douchey, yeah. Slightly autistic person. Yeah, yeah. Everyone is hilarious. I mean, this guy is funny.

Like, they all have great personality types. Yeah. Like, on. Everyone is hilarious. I mean, this guy is funny. They all have great personality types on the show. They're just like. He's like what we would call the fish out of water. He just is so clueless in the bar. He's hilarious. It's like the episode where he's like, is that Celtic or whatever, the broach with the mom, like wingmanning.

Yes, yes. It's hysterical. It's funny. Yeah, there's these guys that are like wingmanning, like these moms and stuff. It's funny. Yeah. Cool. It's hysterical. It's funny. Yeah, there's these guys that are like wingmanning like these moms and stuff. It's funny. But cool. So ABC, Wednesday nights, 9.30 Eastern.

Is that right? 9.30 Eastern or Pacific or 8.30 Central. Right after Modern Family. It's super cool. So, okay. So last question. That's what I ask everyone. Oh.

I'm going to videotape as well. Okay. And it's what is your- I need my touch-ups. My touch-ups. Exactly. So it's what's your definition of greatness my definition of greatness is um i think it really like this is what's landing with me right now is giving really being able to check in with yourself and get knowing that you're giving your all giving 100 1000 that's that's greatness even even when you don't feel like it you know it's like the

last mile or you know um for for me it was like really giving giving that pilot season my greatness everything giving everything and i don't necessarily feel like you know we can give of the season, my greatness. Everything. Giving everything. And I don't necessarily feel like, you know, we can give everything to everything at all the time. But if we can really, if I, when I get really clear what it is when I am really giving my all, then I can start to give my all to more things, I think. And I do think that plates can expand. I do think that that's possible. That's where I'm at right now. I'm in that, I'm in that discovery of how my greatness can expand. I do think that that's possible. That's where I'm at right now.

I'm in that discovery of how my greatness can expand. I love it. So where can we find you online? You can find me on www.AlexisCara, double R. Yes, I am Spanish. We didn't talk about that. Yeah, AlexisCara.com. On Twitter, it's at AlexisCara, A-L-E-X-I-S-C-A-R-R-A.

Facebook, look me up. I've got a fan page. Like it. And you speak Spanish? Sí, yo hablo español. Okay. Sí. Yeah, Chris Lee was on here a while ago.

I know. He was speaking a little bit of Spanish too. I love Chris. So in Spanish, let's close it off with a thought of the day. Oh, Lord. Or your definition of greatness abbreviated in Spanish. I don't know if I could say that in Spanish.

I'm not fluent. I think, yo pienso que cuando una persona es in, oh, Lord. I don't know if I can say this in Spanish. No, the pressure, Luis, the pressure. I'm going to give it my all. Cuando una persona es completa, like... When you're all in. She's going for it.

Todo adentro. It's all good. En todo. Todo, todo, todo. All's going for it. Todo adentro. It's all good. En todo. Todo, todo, todo. All, all, all. Perfect. I appreciate it, Alexis. Thanks so much.

Yeah, it was so great. You're so awesome, Luis. And your fans are an attribute. It's clear that everybody really gets a lot of value out of the show. So I acknowledge you for what you do. Thank you. I'm honored to be on the show. Thank you.

Mm-hmm. Thank you. I'm honored to be on the show. Thank you. And there you have it, greats. Thanks so much for hanging out with me today in your ears and letting me be a little creepy in your earbuds today, wherever you are in the world. If you are somewhere cool in the world, or if you're on the treadmill or out in the road

or on a vacation listening, go ahead and post a picture over on Instagram and tag me at Lewis Howes. And go ahead and tag Alexis as well. She's at Alexis Cara. And I'll post her info over at lewishouse.com. You can check out all the show notes over there and see her videos.

You can see a clip from Mixology, which is hilarious. I'm telling you, you're going to laugh your face off if you haven't seen it yet. And you can connect with her over on Twitter and Instagram and all the other good stuff. So thanks so much everyone for tuning in, for continually supporting the School

of Greatness message and for sharing these episodes with your friends. I get so many messages from you guys constantly, from listeners from all over the world who are saying that they want to hear more. They want to get these episodes every couple of days. So I'm going to start putting out more episodes frequently and keep spreading the word. It means so much to me and it allows me to bring on cool guests like Alexis and attract even bigger guests that can inspire and educate and entertain you.

So keep spreading the word. And again, big shout out and thanks to Alexis for coming on and blessing us with her wisdom today and her story. You guys know what time it is. It's time to step up and go out there and do something great.