The School of Greatness - 646 How to Be the Jedi Master of Overcoming Stress with Chris Lee

Episode Date: May 28, 2018

“YOU HAVE NO CONTROL OVER OTHER PEOPLE, BUT YOU HAVE TOTAL CONTROL OVER YOURSELF.” Do you ever feel like there’s certain things that just set you off? Certain subjects that send you into a blind rage? We all go through it. There was a period in my life, well honestly it was most of my life, I was explosive. Even if a little thing would trigger me, I found myself exploding. In those moments, I would reflect - and I know that wasn’t me. The truth is, it wasn’t me. It was my reaction. More importantly, it wasn’t my reaction to what was really happening. I was reacting to things in my past. Previous events I was holding on to, and constantly judging, were making me react in an explosive manner. Events would trigger these memories on a subconscious level, and everything that built up would come out all at once. I was able to find a place of peace with my past and find a place of neutrality, thanks to the help of today’s guest: Chris Lee. Chris Lee is a transformational facilitator and coach (and TV personality) that has been doing deep work for 30 years. This is also the 14th (yes, 14th) time he’s been on the show. On this episode of The School of Greatness, we discuss how you can achieve a neutral mindset. Not only will you get the theory behind the work, but you’ll also walk away with actionable steps you can take today to make that happen. Don’t be caught reacting to your triggers, creating an image of yourself you don’t want others to see ever again. Chris has been my coach for years on this exact topic, and I'm so excited for you to hear his wisdom as well. Learn how you can create a neutral mind-frame that allows for clarity on Episode 646. Some Questions I Ask: How can we have more results in our lives? (7:44) So what is step one to create a neutral life? (18:00) How do you handle not letting wild kids trigger you? (19:26) Do you recommend having a mantra if things seem too out of control? (21:34) What’s the next point for staying neutral? (32:34) What’s something you’ve learned about yourself that’s surprised you in the last year? (38:54) What’s the thing you need to master still that will take you to another level? (41:34) In This Episode You Will Learn: How holding onto judgment will create negative reactions (10:54) The truth about every event in life (12:10) What neutrality really is (20:06) Another way to achieve neutrality when you’re triggered (23:16) How the greatest athletes are neutral (26:21) What you need to do now to overcome triggers (28:07) The importance of a neutral accountability buddy (30:26) Your action steps after this episode is over (36:00)

This is episode number 646 with Chris Lee. Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, a former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin. Wayne Dyer said, you can't always control what goes on outside, but you can always control what goes on inside. I am so excited about this episode because there have been too many times in my life where I've allowed outside forces to

control my inside emotions. And those emotions, without having the right tools, could damage my life, can damage me by me reacting in those situations, by responding, by diminishing people, by being negative towards people, or just getting angry and frustrated and upset. And have you ever gone throughout your daily life where someone does something to you where they trigger you? They say something, they leave a comment on something, they cut you off in traffic, and they trigger this emotion that makes you want to react and get angry and upset in that moment. I think all of us have had that. The challenge is

that may make us feel good in that moment to defend ourselves or to lash out back or to make sure that we're not being taken advantage of. But what it really does is it robs us of our joy, our freedom, our power when we give that power away through a reaction in anything that's happening in the world. Chris Lee is here today to give us some practical tools and a deeper understanding on how to become the Jedi master of stress, of not reacting to anything in the world, but being the master of your own life. For those that don't know who Chris Lee is, he's a transformational facilitator, coach, and TV personality. He's been doing this deep work for 30 years with over 100,000 people

one-on-one and in small groups. He's traveled the world teaching and empowering people on how to use these tools to better their life, including world business leaders and Hollywood celebrities, et cetera. And this is his 14th appearance on this show. And every time he comes on, he's got something practical that you can apply for your life. And in this episode, we talk about how reacting to unmet expectations causes the stress in our life. Also, the first key to creating a peaceful life every single day. to creating a peaceful life every single day,

what happens when we do react to ourselves and what happens when we react within the world, also what to do when you get triggered by someone else that you love, and how neutrality combats disease. That's right, this is a juicy one. There's some practical steps throughout, and I really believe you're gonna get so much value out of this one if you actually follow through on the principles and start practicing what we talk about, specifically the challenge we give you at the

end. Again, powerful one. Make sure to share this with your friends, lewishouse.com slash 646 to share it out. Tag me on Instagram and Chris Motivador as well. Before we dive in, big shout out to the fan of the week. This is from Britt Ula, who said, I love starting my day with these podcasts, even if it's just driving and walking my dog. These podcasts give you inspiration to go after your goals, but also to change the way you think. And I feel more mindful and grateful after listening to these episodes. I love the mix of guests or just Lewis's episodes, but I also like Five Minute Fridays

if even need a few minutes of inspiration. If you haven't listened to these podcasts yet, you definitely should. So Britt, Ula, thank you so much for being the fan of the week. And again, we've got over 3,000 five-star reviews over on iTunes. If you haven't left your review yet, get a chance to be shouted out as the fan of the week. Go open up the podcast app and you can just scroll down and leave us a review right there.

All right, guys, this is all about overcoming stress, being the Jedi master, how to claim your power in any stressful situation with the one and only Chris Lee. Welcome everyone back to the School of Greatness podcast. We have the legendary Chris Lee in the house for the 14th time. Super excited. I was just talking about you earlier today. Someone was interviewing me for their podcast. And I told the whole story of me coming to a more self-aware place with my own emotions, from sexual abuse trauma to it always triggering me throughout the years. And when I started to

understand my triggers and things that I get defensive with, when I started to understand that and heal those things, that's when I was able to have a more calm environment whenever someone was throwing anything at me in any situation. With relationships, business partners, whatever it may be, I was able to, in the last four years, have more peace and calm because of what you taught me. And this is something that we wanted to talk about today because we realized that when people react to situations or their triggers, that's typically when they don't get the results they want. So how can we have more results in our life, bigger results,

and more peace in the process? And we're talking about that today, which is how to really overcome stressful situations through what you call neutrality. day not today which is how to really overcome stressful situations through what you call neutrality so let's talk about what is neutrality and how can we own and own all of our emotional energy throughout any situation in our life so it doesn't control us but we're in control of situation it's an incredible thing to talk about because I think that nowadays with so much happening so fast at a rapid pace, we are being triggered by so many things at the same time.

And so many times we go to our mechanism to cope with stress and anxiety and situations where we usually go, which is to react. And so we react. And when we react, there's a false sense of power. So when you're screaming at your children or you're screaming at the person in front of the line or in traffic or you're having a reactive moment, those are patterns that give us a false reward, and that false reward is a sense of power.

So the truth about it is that it's the opposite because what we end up doing is we end up giving our power away. And so instead of being empowered, you're actually disempowered. And I think that when you implement the tools of transformation and when you use what I want to talk about, it's going to save you and spare you a lot of stress because it's not just about positive thinking. Positive thinking is great. Positive thinking, you know, I'm the first person to say

that positive thinking is going to get me to where I want to go in many occasions. But sometimes it takes taking a step back and do what I call neutral thinking. And when you come from neutrality, what you're doing is you're accessing your inner wisdom. You're going beyond the judgment of right, wrong, good, bad. And so you're not giving the significance to the events that usually you would give them. Because what you're reacting to usually in life

is that whatever your expectation is not being met. Right. And so if you expect your children to behave a certain way and they don't, then you react. You expect that your spouse or your employees or the people around you respond in a certain way, then what you end up doing is you end up being frustrated. Expectation leads to frustration. And so when you come from a neutral place,

which is not looking at life through judgmental filters, because many times expectations are just judgments. I'm having a judgment of what should be. It should be this way. Well, life isn't the way it should be. Life is the way it is. I love one of your favorite sayings. I don't know if you notice that you say it a lot. It's, it's all good. I do say a lot. Have you realized that? Yeah, it's all good. I do say it a lot. Have you realized that? Yeah, it's all good. It's all good. You'll tell me about an accident that happened or someone. It's all good, though. And you're like, it's all good. But that's a perfect gateway to neutrality because you're basically saying it's okay. It's not necessarily great. It's not bad.

You're basically remaining neutral about something. Yeah. And I learned this lesson from you four or five years ago, whenever this was now, because I had an event that I had associated with my entire life as something that was really bad and terrible. And yes, I can say it's really bad and terrible, and I don't wish these things on anyone, any negative thing I don't wish on anyone. But I held onto that as a judgment for 25 years. And that judgment is what left me suffering and reactive in other situations that I felt coming up in that way. And not only was the event bad and terrible, you were bad and terrible. Right. And you were wrong. Exactly. There was something wrong with you. Exactly. And I think all that judgment. Exactly. And I think holding on to that judgment is what kept me from being more neutral in other situations where I was more reactive because I was being defensive or trying to protect myself.

in my mind, it no longer had power over me and no longer made me feel like I needed to react to defend myself in lots of situations with my girlfriend or business relationships or family. It made me more neutral in every other situation, which gave me more power and control. That's the whole key point. Yeah. Because the facts are that every event in life is neutral. If we choose to believe that. It is. Right, right. Birth, dying, accidents, success, all the stuff that we label as good or bad or horrible or awesome, even awesome is neutral. You're just interpreting it as awesome. Yeah. And horrible

is neutral. You're just interpreting it as horrible. And horrible is neutral. You're just interpreting it as horrible. And so my point of view is given that we're interpreting and given that we're putting a label on things, why not choose something that empowers you so that you can use your energy towards growth? Which is the whole purpose of this podcast is to give people tools to elevate themselves in life. Right. And to grow with every situation. And so by seeing what happened to you, your abuse, as a neutral event gives you the power to make whatever choices you want to make. And you're not anymore in reaction or defined by it. Right. any more in reaction or defined by it. And so we're so defined by the fight with our spouses

or by a bankruptcy. Look, a bankruptcy is a bankruptcy. Cancer diagnosis is a cancer diagnosis. Whatever it is that happens in life, we're the ones who add the drama. We're the ones who add the importance, the significance. And so by looking at life through a neutral set of lenses called it's not good, it's not bad, it just is, then you're able to use your energy towards what you do want. Because as long as you're in reaction to whatever that trigger is, then you're giving your power away. Yeah. And the more we react in these situations, the more residual the negative energy becomes.

If we are in an argument with someone and we decide to react and fight and argue and drag it out for days, we are draining our energy from doing something that's focused on our vision or helping people. We're just hurting ourselves more and we're hurting the other person in that situation. Well, we're creating an environment.

So when you look at it, everything is context. And so who Lewis is when he goes into the world is an environment. Who Chris Lee is, I'm an environment. And so if my environment is a reactive, trigger-happy, upset, dramatic, then I'm going to create those kind of situations because we attract what we are. And so the first key, I would say, to creating a neutral life or a life where you don't

give your power away or a life where you're in a peaceful state, where you're at peace, is to clarify in a chaotic world, because the world's chaotic and stressful, is to clarify what environment do you want to be in the world? That's like the number one. And so, yes, it's vision, but vision more in terms of context. Vision in terms of before I go into a room or before I go to my wife or before I go to my children or my boardroom or wherever it is, the playing field, you know, the court, what's the environment that I'm going to create around me?

And so is my environment one of peace and joy and love and connection and passion, or is it an environment of anxiety and stress and reactivity and problems and drama? So clarifying my environment then allows me to go back to that environment no matter what happens. So when the world cuts me off or when the world flips me the finger or when whatever happens, I'm the one who chooses to uphold that environment, that safe place. So your environment, your vision for you and what you want to create is that safe zone that no matter what comes at you, you could go to it and you could draw power from it. You're cultivating it no matter what. You're cultivating peace for joy or happiness. Even in chaos, you're going to start recultivating or planting the seeds again, even if something's been fully wiped out in that

experience. No matter what. And I don't want to sound like to be indifferent over situations that happen and people, you know, we have a natural process of responding and mourning, et cetera, et cetera. And everything, yeah. Anger, all those things. But either way, you need to handle whatever the situation is and you're less likely to be effective when you're in reaction. Yes. And then the other thing is when I'm, I just want to talk about when I'm reacting. When I'm reacting to my wife or I'm reacting to my kids or I'm reacting to the employees. I coach a lot of people, and I hear about the situations that they feel like life is going at them at 200 miles per hour and

there's all these things happening at the same time. And so if I'm reacting, I don't have the power to organize what's happening. I don't have the power to create what I want to create because all I'm creating is a reaction, repeated action. And so I don't create, I don't cause, I'm just simply surviving. And so if you want to get out of survival and you want to truly live and thrive, then you got to really master this principle of neutrality, which is to go to that place that's not either happy or sad or good or bad or negative or positive. I would call it that spiritual center of all wisdom, the source, and then really get clear about, okay, what's that that I'm going to create around me?

And so by honoring that vision, whenever anything that doesn't come along with that or doesn't line up with that, then I'm able to make a wise choice and just take a step back and breathe and see things for what they are. Right. And so step one you're saying for this is to understand what the environment is you want to create first or who you want to be in that type of environment. Is that step one? Yeah, to clarify your vision, to clarify what it is that you want in your relationships.

What do you want at work? What do you want in the world? What is it that you want to create around you? The second step is to identify the triggers. So now what is it, you know, what situations trigger me? Piss you off, frustrates you. What situations have me go psycho postal, I want to get the baseball bat from the car

and hit other cars. Example situations is I can't handle people that are slow. I don't like to be screamed at. I don't like people when they break their word with me or when people say they're going to do something and they don't do it. There's so many triggers that we have as human beings that really react.

Give me an example of a trigger for you. Well, for me, I mean, I was just thinking of a friend of mine who I know it's hard for parents with kids that are like young kids. They're not on a routine. They don't do what you tell them to do. They try to put them to sleep. They wake back up.

They're screaming all night. And you get off your rhythm because you're constantly needing to react or respond to your kids. That's what I hear from a lot of people. I just spoke to somebody about that. And how a friend I spoke to about that said that his kids were going crazy and he went psycho and he lost his patience and he just forgot who he was. And so my coaching to him. So how do you handle that when your kids are, you know, you've got two, three kids or even one kid and you just, they're kids and they're running around. Well, how I handle that is realizing they're not the issue.

You are. You're the issue. Because they're not the issue. You are. You're the issue because they're just being kids. You're the one who's reacting to an expectation that's not being met. Yeah. You're expecting them to be calm and to do what you want them to, and you're expecting them to go to bed and to stay sleeping, and kids are kids. And so it's like fighting against a current or fighting against a wave.

You could resist it or you could surrender and accept that the kids are that way. And then with that neutral, calm energy, you could redirect the wind. It's like if the wind is going against you, you can't fight the wind. You guide it. Redirect it. Like martial arts or keto. It's about using the opponent's energy and using it in your favor. So redirecting the energy. And so neutrality is, once again, not indifference.

It's keeping a peaceful viewpoint of everything in life. Yeah. And seeing the opportunity in it. So when there's a negative situation, what you would identify as negative or a situation that doesn't work with your kids, you can resist it. It's only going to get worse. And so by clarifying, what's my vision? My vision is a peaceful family. Okay, so when there's not peace in front of me, I still get to uphold my end of the bargain and create peace anyway.

I still get to uphold my end of the bargain and create peace anyway and Standing in that power of neutrality then pretty soon before you know it the kids will relax Right because you're not going to create peace by being in chaos or by reacting to chaos So it goes back to step number two Which is be aware of your triggers if I'm aware that I have very little patience level You know some people just have zero patience and anything just, you know, triggers them. Then when situations occur that have me lose my patience, I go, oh, wait, that's a trigger. Let me be mindful of that.

Let me take a deep breath. Let me be bigger than my trigger. And let me choose something different. Yeah. Do you recommend having a mantra then during that process if it just seems like too out of control and you want to react, what if breathing isn't enough? Is there something else that people can do? That's the third step.

Okay. Replace the trigger with something that's going to support you in that moment. So if I'm being triggered because somebody is abusing my social media and they're using my name to promote themselves, which I've heard you sometimes be upset with me on the phone, like, Chris, I'm going to kill somebody. You've got to replace that with another energy because that's an energy. So being triggered is one energy.

But then what you do in access to your neutral state is through affirmations. And so one affirmation you can use is, I am the king or I am the queen of neutral. I've been giving that to some of my clients. It sounds outrageous or it sounds simple. It shifts you because you're so not in that moment. Like you want to kill somebody and you're in reaction and you're seeing red. You're like a bull.

And for you to say, I am the king of neutral. I am the king of neutral. Or I am the queen of patience. Or I am a patient, loving woman. Just using words of affirmation will make a big difference. But not responding until you come and own that environment. Like using the mantra over and over and not saying anything until you're ready to talk, which I think would be a powerful next step. Well, you definitely do not want to speak to anybody when you're having a reaction.

Right, right. And so by using affirmation, it will serve you. Another step would be to write down what you're feeling and then make a choice as to what you want to feel. So I'm feeling sad, upset. I'm feeling I'm being taken advantage of, but I'm the king of neutral. And so what I'm committed to feeling is peace and joy and love, and pretty soon your energy shifts. Because remember, what you think about in your mind expands.

That's the nature of thought. Whatever you think about expands. And if you think that I'm being taken advantage of and people try to hurt me, that's all you're going to see. And so when you choose to be neutral about something, you're choosing to access that inner wisdom, that inner power place to support you in working through the situation so that you have a much more peaceful outcome. Remember, I've talked about this in other podcasts here, that how people treat you is one thing and how you respond is yours. That's the law of life. You have no control over other people, but you have total control of yourself.

And part of what's causing me to have those triggers is the interpretation I'm having of it. I'm seeing it as good, as bad, as right, as wrong. And so I can see it in another way. I can see it all as an opportunity, as a blessing. So what's the blessing? What's the gift in this? I think another thing that we do is we tend to make, when we accomplish something king and when we don't accomplish something, we're worthless. And I think that even in accomplishments, there are things that are missing. Even when you accomplish something, coming from neutrality in all situations will

make a huge difference in your life, not just when you're being triggered, but just seeing life through neutrality. Yeah. So you landed the biggest contract of your life and you're so filled with yourself and you're so happy. But what can you learn about what worked? But also, what can you learn about what was missing or what didn't work? Yeah. was missing or what didn't work. Yeah.

Some of the greatest athletes in the world are neutral when they win the biggest games, except for maybe the last game. Like if you win the Super Bowl, then they finally like celebrate at a bigger level. They let go. They let go. But every week, every game, you kind of see them this neutral pace, whether there's a bad loss or a big win. It's kind of just like, yep, we're on the track to getting to where we want to be. And that kind of neutral energy, you always see the greatest quarterbacks have this like nothing can phase them. There's nothing too big to celebrate and nothing too bad to get your head down on. Well, if you look at me when I train you in a training room,

you'll see me pretty much be neutral. Yeah. So, like, people will scream at me, and I'll be like, so, what's going on? Yeah, if you give your energy away too much, you're not going to have any left. Well, I have no way of impacting you or supporting you. And so back to neutrality in your own life.

So if you want to be, I call it, a Jedi master of neutrality, you're basically a Jedi master of stress. And so when stress comes at you and you're being bombarded and you're like, ah, you have no power. But if you access that vision for yourself, that neutral place where you are completely at peace in the middle of the storm, then you could guide whatever it is that you need to guide, whether it's a relationship or your children or business. And that affirmation, I'm the king of neutral, I'm the queen of neutral, or any other affirmation that works for you will make a difference. Identifying your triggers lets you know what are those potential situations that might take your power away.

Why is it important to identify? I'd make a list. Make a list of all your triggers, whether they're situations or things that trigger you. For me, it's being taken advantage of. Me too. I don't like that. It pushes my buttons.

Another button for me is feeling that I'm not getting back what I'm giving. Like I feel like I go out of my way and I bend over backwards for people. And sometimes I feel like they don't respond and say thank you. Or they focus on what I didn't do for you. Like what have you done for me lately?

So there's different triggers for me. In a relationship, of course, being abandoned. In friendships, don't abandon me, you know, in friendships, you know, those are triggers for me. And those are potential situations that will have me react. And so by being aware of it, not only am I aware of it and I've journaled about it, I also gain power over it. And another thing that I recommend for people is to heal those triggers. The more work you do on yourself healing your triggers, healing the things that likely tend to have you respond in a negative way, then it gets to a point where those triggers are no longer powerful. So those triggers, I have those triggers, but they don't have me.

There was a time when those triggers had me. Owned you. They owned me. Like I had zero control over it. I was like a crazy person, you know. And I think that most people are like that. And so taking the time to heal those triggers will make a big difference. Love it.

And how do you heal triggers? Meditation. Meditation is something that is absolutely the direct access to neutrality. Because when you're meditating, you're basically clearing your mind. And then what happens in neutrality? You enhance health. You enhance energy. You feel better.

Awareness. You're empowered. Meditation is one way to heal triggers and to access neutrality. Also journaling. I think also clearing with people. Clearing with people that maybe have been a part of certain triggers for a long time and making requests to people, clearing with them and how they made you feel, processing those things, talking about it.

Sure, that also helps. Sometimes you can clear with people without even seeing them right and just writing a letter to a letter dear blank You know here's what I need to clear burn it up And just let it go another thing that will support is having a neutral accountability buddy People that huge, you know will support you I have you I have so many people many people in my life that when I'm not being my loving, neutral self or when I'm giving my power away, I got people in my life that are there to remind me. I think people underestimate the power of having accountability and that there's no way I'd be where I'm at without accountability in multiple areas of my life. Like you said,

you've been accountable for me in a lot of areas that I've needed support with, but just having coaches in sports, I wouldn't have been able to do that in sports. Also coaches in business, there's just no way I'd be able to achieve what I want right now without accountability consistently. It's really challenging for my health if I don't have a trainer. You know, I can be good for so long, but it's hard for me to consistently be good for a long time without it's hard for me to consistently be good for a long time without constant accountability. So I think, like you said, it's a huge thing I think a lot of people miss out on is having that accountability. And we really should be setting ourselves up in all areas of our life, especially our triggers, for being accountable on that. So have someone,

a friend of yours, a girlfriend, a spouse, whatever it may be, and say, I want you to hold me accountable. Every time you see me react, write me a note and give it to me that night. Yeah, every time you see me that I'm losing my balance, that I have that face. You know how some of you have a face that you put on when you're not neutral? There's the face, there's the, you know, you get tight, you get anxious, you know, or you'll say things that you shouldn't say, or you behave in a way that doesn't work. It's great to have, and I have people in my life that when they see me, the times I go there, because I'm human as well, and I have moments that I forget who I, you know, I forget my tools, and I forget what's neutral, you know, I forget it. And I've got people in my life that hold me accountable.

And because of those people, and of course I'm committed, because of the support, I'm able to continuously strive to be the best version of myself possible. That's great. And we get to be that for each other. What's the next point for staying neutral in a stressful? The next point in staying neutral is really identifying it in other people. Identifying what? The reactions in other people.

So by seeing how people respond, you can see yourself reflected in them. Sometimes it's easier to point it out. So for example, if you see me reacting to something and I'm freaking out about it. Right, I'm seeing there a mirror of me. And I'm able to learn from that because I'm going,

okay, well, I don't want to do that. I don't want to go there. And so by identifying people and their reaction, it says a lot for me. It does a lot for me. I'm able to learn from it. Being aware of it and saying,

oh, I'm aware of someone reacting there and there and being neutral in that awareness of just saying, okay, this is how it looks, this is how it's showing up, and I don't want to be that way. And here's how I can relate to it. Right. So have compassion for someone.

Yeah, having compassion. And I would say that part of that is being aware of people's reactions has me learn a lot for myself, but also not judging, practicing not judging. It's hard. She's fat, skinny, ugly, tall, short, coming from neutral in your observations. That's a very challenging practice because not only do we judge, but we then share our judgments. Did you see her? Oh, my God, she's so overweight. Or did you see him?

You know, he's so angry all the time. You know, we put a lot of words out there. And so I would say that part of not judging and being aware of how people react and how people are is by choosing to use whatever thoughts and whatever energy you have in a constructive way and an accepting way. So practicing acceptance and practicing awareness of that. It's huge. Because we tend to judge a lot. Any other points for this? Is that the last point? I think in a nutshell, I would say that neutrality is a practice. And so just don't beat yourself up if you find yourself falling off the wagon or if you have moments. This person I'm working with, she's like, you would not have

been proud of me the other day because I lost all my neutrality and I wanted to eat alive the people around me. And I said to her, you know what? That's perfect. I think that there's nothing wrong with that. Don't judge yourself because you judged. Don't beat yourself up because you're not perfect. And I think that it's a lifestyle and a practice. And it's something that's going to require a lot of rigor, a lot of discipline, and a commitment. But if you want to have your power and you want to be effective in your relationships and effective in your businesses and effective as a human being and also live a longer life. Because think about the reactions and when you're in stress, how that affects your blood pressure, how it affects your health, your tense, your whole body's tense versus neutrality is really about being at ease. And the opposite of ease is dis-ease. So neutrality is ease and stress is dis-ease. Reaction is dis-ease. And reaction. So if you want to be healthy and you want to

have a life that's peaceful, then it just takes being mindful of that. Yeah. So I would say an action step for anyone listening or watching would be for seven days to practice this while writing it down at the end of the day or right in the beginning of the day, the environment you want to create. The environment you're committed to creating. And then at the end of the day, I would check in with what worked and what didn't work. Did I react? What did I react to? Right. What were the triggers? Did I react?

What situations set me off? And what can I learn from that? And then part of that, of course, is forgiving yourself so that you're not in judgment of yourself. Practicing forgiveness of other people that we've talked about a lot. Forgiving yourself, forgiving others doesn't make it right, doesn't make it wrong. It simply allows you to keep your energy and to use that energy to create neutrality. And so journaling that, that's a great idea. All right, so sit for seven days and then reflecting on what you learned and have someone keep you accountable as well.

And also create a mantra for yourself. Oh, yeah. Whether it's I'm the king of neutral and actually every time something happens that is triggering you, use that mantra. Also the accountability. Let people know, out yourself, hey, you know what? I need support with this and I want you to support me. Yeah. And I think doing that with a partner or a friend for seven days will be really powerful. So make sure to send this to someone who you want to hold you accountable or that you want to hold accountable or just to try this with. Send this podcast to

them and say, hey, let's try this for seven days, what Chris is talking about. And let us know what worked, what didn't work, your results. And keep it going. Keep it going for 30 days if you can. Because I think once you start really implementing this and being mindful and aware like you said every time you see yourself or someone else reacting get to be mindful and say how do I want to show up in that situation I think it'll really benefit you for a long time so which is the value of noticing it in other people like if I'm watching tv and I'm watching a politician berating the world or I'm watching you know somebody that's doing a mass shooting or a parent who's screaming at their kids in a line at a grocery store, it really raises awareness versus just judge

them. I don't want you to judge people when they're doing that. Just ask yourself, how am I like that or what part of me can go there and what will it take for me to keep my calm and my peace? Because the goal is to have a peaceful life. That's it. That's it. I love this.

If you guys love this, let us know in the comments, at Lewis Howes on social media, at Chris Motivador. Yes. On Twitter, Instagram, Facebook. Let us know the most powerful part of this for you. I want to ask one final question for you. You've been doing work for 30 plus years now, almost. I know.

30 years you've been in transformation, teaching this, leading workshops every weekend, all over the world. With people all the time. You've worked with over 100,000 plus people in workshops, intimate three to five day long workshops. And like you said, there's a lot of things you still work on, triggers that come up for you. You're a human being.

But what's the greatest lesson you've learned in the last year about yourself that you were surprised about or that's been really powerful for you in moving forward after all this work you've done? I'm a work in progress. It surprises me every single time how I feel like I'm a beginner. And I hear people say, oh, 30 years, and I'm known as an expert in what I do, but I'm always learning that there's more to learn and that my ego, which is really the anti-neutrality, the ego which wants to be right and wants to look good and wants to be in control, every time my ego kicks in, I realize how little I do know. In the world of spirituality

and connection and information and transformation, there's so much to discover. And so my biggest lesson is that I'm a work in progress. And that keeps it fresh for me and alive for me and new for me. And the other thing that I continue to learn is life happens for me, not to me. And I see everything in my life is happening for me. And I keep seeing that in such magical ways by working with people. How everything happens for a reason. Powerful. There's a quote from John Wooden. How everything happens for a reason. Powerful. There's a quote from John Wooden.

I'm going to butcher it, but it's something along the lines of like, once you know it all, that's when the real learning begins. Yes, I love that. I can't remember if that's exactly it, but it's like once you feel like you've learned everything, that's when the real learning actually begins. Something I say in my training, and I'll share this with everybody, there's what I know I know. There's what I know I don't know. And we pretty much hang out there. We hang out, and well, I know this.

I know I know my name. I know I know how to drive. I know Lewis's last name. And I know I don't know quantum physics. I know I don't know how to pilot an airplane. But we hang out there, and those two places is only 10% of all knowledge. There's another 90% of what I don't know I don't know. And what I don't know I don't know, your brain can't even catch it

because how would I know if I didn't know it? But that's where the magic happens. And so that's what inspires me is discovering what I didn't even know that I didn't even know and that opens a whole world of possibilities. What do you think is the thing you get to master still that'll take you to another level? The thing I need to master?

Self-discipline. Because my mind is everywhere and I want to be everywhere anddiscipline, because my mind is everywhere, and I want to be everywhere, and I love everybody. I love everyone. And I want to support everybody in their dreams, and then sometimes I forget about myself. And so that's something that I've got to continuously master.

And because I've mastered it the level I've mastered it, I'm able to have the career that I have. But in the areas that I'm not mastering it is where I need to really continuously work, which is to say no and to organize myself and stuff like that. So we need to get you a coach now. I already have a coach. We need to get you multiple coaches. I have coaches. That's good. Yeah. I have coaches just like you have coaches. I support people and people support me. And I think coaching is what's going to always get you to what you don't know you don't know.

Absolutely. Which is why I love coaching you. Yeah. Because I love you coaching me. Yeah. And I bring you to a place that you haven't been before. Yeah. Because you don't need coaching on what you already know.

Right. Unless I forget it. Right. Unless I forget it. This has been powerful. I appreciate you. You're always amazing, powerful. I love you.

I love you for being on here 14 times. It's the world record on the school of greatness. This is a powerful topic. So thank you for your wisdom and making the complex simple like you always do. Everyone, make sure you guys go follow Chris Lee. You're the best. Thank you. Thank you. All right, my friends, you are now the Jedi master of overcoming stress. I hope you enjoyed this episode with Chris Lee. If you did, tag me on Instagram right now. lewishouse.com slash 646 is the link. Share it with a friend who you think could benefit from this wisdom as well and these practical strategies. Tag Chris Modivador as well to let him know that you enjoyed this.

Check him out on Instagram and all the places online. And you can watch the full video interview back at the website and also all the show notes and resources that we talked about at lewishouse.com slash 646 as well. I love this episode. Let me know what you thought about it. I'd love to hear your thoughts because you have the power to overcome any of these obstacles in your life once you know the tools and you master them. Again, if you enjoyed this episode, make sure to share with your friends. You have the power to control what is happening inside you. You have the power to control what is happening inside you. You don't have the power to control everything on the outside, but you do have the energy

and the tools to reflect, be mindful, be aware, and respond in specific ways as opposed to reacting out of fear, anger, and stress. Use this information and apply it to your life to improve your life, to improve the lives of those around you. Be an example of inspiration. Be the example of what's possible in this world. Not be like everyone else who continues to be stressed out in these situations that cause them anxiety. You are the one. You are the example. Be the symbol of inspiration for your friends, your family, and the world. I love you. I believe in you. And you know what time it is. It's time to go out there and do something great. សូវាប់បានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបា Thank you.