The School of Greatness - 655 Be Vulnerable and Fight to Win with MMA Fighter Michelle Waterson

Episode Date: June 17, 2018

“NEVER LET ANYBODY GET IN THE WAY OF YOUR DREAMS. NOT EVEN YOURSELF.” So many times in this world we let others dictate our lives. We listen to our parents, our friends, even our neighbors on what we “should do” with our lives. No one knows our true purpose -- that’s something we have to find on our own. Our passions and our love should be what guides us in life, not just logic. Life’s too short to spend precious moments chasing something we don’t care about, something that doesn’t make us feel fulfilled. Sure, you could be a doctor or a lawyer and make money fast: but what good is the cash if you’re miserable? When you follow your passion and master those skills, the money will follow, and it’ll be worth the delay. That’s why for today’s episode of The School of Greatness, I brought on a truly inspirational woman: Michelle Waterson. Michelle is a wife, a mother, and an amazing UFC fighter. She had a passion for martial arts even as a child but pushed her passion aside to listen to what her parents wanted. She went to college and studied things she didn’t really care about. One day she was hired to work as a ring girl at a UFC fight and watching the action up close made her decide she wanted to continue her childhood passion. As soon as the semester was over, she left school and started training to be a fighter - but there was only one problem. At that time there were no UFC women. In fact, the UFC was very clear they were never planning to let women into the UFC. She didn’t let that stop her. She continued to train and take small fights any chance should could. Finally, all the hard work paid off. The UFC started letting in women fighters, and she’s had an incredible career that didn’t exist not too long ago. If you’re wondering if you should actually pursue your passion, no matter how unconventional it may be, you need to hear Episode 655. Some Questions I Ask: What has being a fighter taught you about femininity and masculinity? (7:36) You were a ring girl and then thought it would be fun to be in the ring punching people? (11:27) What’s a smoker? (14:11) If there were no women in the UFC at the time, what was your vision? (16:02) What does it take to be a champion in the UFC? (19:44) What’s the challenging part for you mentally and physically from the moment you get the phone call to the moment you step in the ring? (22:36) What has your biggest loss taught you about yourself? (26:44) What was the most challenging emotional wave you had to experience leading into a fight? (30:52) How do you get back to keeping your mental strength after and injury or bad loss? (41:32) What’s the greatest thing your dad taught you about being a better woman? (44:58) What kind of example do you want to set for your daughter? (47:08) In This Episode You Will Learn: What it is about fighting that Michelle loves (9:02) Her next step after training in Thailand (13:46) How long she was an amateur fighter (14:56) Her biggest fear today (18:08) What she does to silence the conversations that try to hold her back (20:56) How she respects her opponents when she’s fighting them (25:02) How she manages emotional up and downs (28:52) How she was able to focus on her fights, despite all of her emotional ups and downs (38:32) The greatest lesson her mom taught her (43:09) Plus much, much more

This is episode number 655 with UFC fighter Michelle Watterson. Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, a former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin. True champions aren't always the ones that win, but those with the most guts. Mia Hamm.

Welcome to the episode today. You matter. You're an important human being in this world, and I hope you know that today because we're all about spreading positivity and finding out what our true passion is, how we can continue to overcome life's greatest challenges and move closer towards our dreams. You have that potential to do that today. You have the potential to take one step closer to the life you want to live, and this is your daily reminder for that. Today, we've got Michelle Watterson in the house. She is an MMA competitor in the UFC, the Ultimate Fighting Championship, former Invicta FC Adam weight champion. And as of December of 2017, she's ranked number seven contender in the UFC women's

strawweight division. And Fight Matrix ranks her as the number 23 women's strawweight fighter in the world. And between 2013 and 2014, she was ranked number one in women's atomweight in the world. And we had a good time connecting a few months back through a mutual friend, Aubrey Marcus, who's been on the podcast a couple of times, who's a New York Times best selling author as well. And we just really connected and hit it off. And she was in LA. I said, why don't you come on the show? Because I want to learn more about the way you think. And this is fascinating because she was a former ring girl. She was literally walking around the ring with a number of the round that the fight was happening in,

what round it was. She would walk around in a bikini and high heels and then decided, I want to do what they're doing in the ring. And now she's one of the top competitors in the world at this. So it's a fascinating story of how she started doing something that wasn't her path and then discovered what it was. Everyone made fun of her and laughed at her. They're like, there's no way you can go in the ring and do this when you're a ring girl walking around the ring. And the way she thinks, her mindset, and some of the challenges that she faces as well, she talks about. And I think it's extremely powerful and inspiring. So make sure you share this with your friends, lewishouse.com slash 655 to share this out. Take a screenshot right now and post it on your Instagram story. Let people know to listen to this. What we cover in here are how

she got started when it was also very taboo for women to be fighting. This was before UFC had women fighting, she got into it. Also, what it takes to be a champion and be vulnerable. How to build the mental confidence to win and be vulnerable and loving. How to respect your opponent. I thought this was a really powerful answer when she talked about respecting your opponent and how to come back mentally after a loss and how some people actually never come back. We're going to talk about those steps and how this can apply to your life as well, whether you're a fighter or a mother or someone just going after your dream job. It doesn't matter what it is. This all applies to your life, And I want to make sure that you get those lessons out of this. Before we dive in, big thank you to the fan of the week. This is from TM Kenyon, who said, I've been listening and trying now to catch up on the latest for a year now. Each and

every episode literally does something to change my mindset. This is a must listen for any human being that breathes on this earth. Good job with the guests you have on the show. Keep going. School of Greatness alum to 10.0, Thomas Kenyon. So Thomas Kenyon, you are the fan of the week, my friend. Thank you for being a part of this community. For the School of Greatness Academy program that you went through, you got some great results.

It was good to see you in there. For those that don't know about the School of Greatness Academy, it's something we launch a couple times a year to bring the community together virtually online to help you guys go through a process of unlocking your greatest gifts, reaching your potential and your goals, your mindset, your habits, your routines, all that stuff. You can check it out.

Go to lewishouse.com, sign up for the newsletter, and we'll be announcing the next round of the School of Greatness Academy very soon. All right, welcome back, everyone, to the School of Greatness podcast. We've got Michelle Watterson in the house. Good to see you. Good to see you. I'm glad you're here. We met in Austin through Aubrey Marcus, and we met really quickly and got to know each other in a vulnerable way because you shared some things about your life through a poetry, actually, which we did a poetry workshop with NQ, who's been on the show. So it's cool to

see that side of you. And you are a UFC fighter who beats women up for a living. I try to. You try to. I try to. Exactly. My first question, I'm curious, as a fighter, what has it taught you about femininity and masculinity? Because you're a mother and a wife as well.

So how do you navigate all that? I guess just I've never looked at myself like I'm super prideful for being a female in a predominantly male-dominant sport. But I've never separated myself. I always just looked at myself as a fighter. And I feel like the minute you do separate yourself is when you start to create separation. So all my teammates, they don't look at me as a girl they look at me as their fighter and we train right along each other and we we sweat and we bleed and we cry together and we become family and that's just how I've always looked at it right what is it about fighting that makes you love it well I grew up doing martial

arts I have an older brother. You're a karate black belt, right? Yeah, a black belt in American Freestyle Karate. And I've done Wushu and Kenpo. My older brother, I wanted to be like him and we grew up watching Karate Kid and Ninja Turtles.

Sweep the leg. I just showed my daughter the original Karate Kid, and they loved it. Is she watching the new one? She was watching the new one for a second. No, the new one on YouTube. Have you seen this? No.

The Kobe Kai or whatever it's called. No. It's like the Karate Kid. What's his name? What's the main actor's name? Karate Kid. The new guy or the old guy? The original Karate Kid.

What's his name? Geez. I don't know. He's been a part of so many original Karate Kid. What's his name? Geez, I don't know. He's been a part of so many memes and pop culture. I forget his name too. But anyways, they've come back and filmed the original Karate Kid versus the bad guy, whatever the other kid who swept the leg, Daniel, right? Yeah. There's a YouTube series of them 30 years later competing against each other. No way. And they both have their own studios. Yeah, it's crazy. I have to look that up.

I haven't seen it yet, but I've seen the trailers. Okay. Anyways, you used to watch Karate Kid, Ninja Turtles. Yeah. And you wanted to be a Ninja Turtle? I wanted to be a Power Ranger, actually. Power Ranger? Power Ranger, yeah.

Oh. My career as a martial artist kind of evolved. And when I became an adult, it cost money to compete. Power Ranger, yeah. Wow. My career as a martial artist kind of evolved. And when I became an adult, it cost money to compete. And I needed to make money. And I was going to college. And I was actually working at Hooters. I was a waitress at Hooters, paying my way through college.

And I was also doing these side gigs. And I was actually, I became a ring girl for like a local MMA fight yeah and I never seen MMA before but I was so intrigued and I was watching these guys fight in inside this cage and I was walking around the cage with the little number and I remember thinking to myself man I that looks a lot more fun like inside there yeah and I was telling the promoter that I had a martial arts background and I'd love to get into it and he kind of laughed it off and one of the guys that was actually fighting in the small promotion overheard me and he's actually fights for the UFC now it's Donald Cerrone and so he overheard me and came to my work and just was like if you're serious

about training get your ass in the gym and so you were a ring girl in a bikini walking around showing like what round it is yeah said i want to be in there and punching people not walking around in heels yeah well it was just like it kind of just like all fell together right like i grew up doing martial arts i was i was kind of lost like in college like i was really heavily involved in high school in martial arts in martial arts, I was kind of lost. Like in college, I was really heavily involved in high school. In martial arts? In martial arts. And karate.

Yeah, but just like academically. And then went to college and it just, nothing felt right. I just, I was really lost. You weren't sure like what major you wanted to do or what you wanted to do after? Yeah. You didn't have like a vision for your life? Nothing. I felt lost.

And I, you know, I had good grades and everything, but it just. No direction. Yeah. Where'd you go to school? I went to DU. DU? Mm-hmm. What's DU?

University of Denver. Okay. University of Denver. Got it. Or Denver University. Got it. Got it. And so throughout school, did you graduate then?

I didn't. You did not? I didn't. I stopped. So you were a ring girl and a waitress in college and then decided to stop and start training. Yeah. Like I said, I was lost. I didn't know what I was doing with my life. Spending a lot of money going to classes and just feeling like it was taking me nowhere. So my mom and I went to Thailand to visit family.

And when we were out there, I was like, hey, we're in the motherland of Muay Thai. I might as well get some work in. And they kicked my butt. Wow. They kicked my butt for two weeks, and they laughed at me because we trained, like, outside on a concrete floor. And my feet blistered up, and they laughed at me and said that I was weak and too soft yeah too soft and it fired me up and I and and I wanted to it lit that fire back in me and it just reminded me of what my true path was which is martial arts you know like so I was like I I

just had this vision in my head that I had to finish high school. You know, I finished high school top ten in my class. And I had to go to college. And then I had to find a fiance and get married and have this white picket fence with two kids. And I thought that's what I had to do. And it just wasn't. Wow. So after that two weeks in Thailand, had you been to Thailand before? Yeah, when I was younger. Right. After that two weeks of training, had you been to Thailand before? Yeah, when I was younger.

Right. After that two weeks of training, what was the next step? Did you go back and train more with them, or did you start training in Colorado, or what was the next thing? I went back, and I continued to go to school, and then I just decided after the semester was over that it wasn't for me. So I dove completely into fighting. Really? I started taking smokers and... What's a smoker?

A smoker is like a kind of... it's an amateur fight, but they call them smokers because back in the day, they probably still have them. They're like smoking before the fight or whatever? Well, they do them in shady places like bars and strip clubs and stuff like that, and there's smoke all over take the beer off the table put the ring up let's go yeah yeah um i did a couple smokers and maybe like six months later did you win those yeah yeah i want i won some i lost some but that's your amateur career that's where you learn you know and way way then, there was really no amateur career. There was really no women fighting it, you know? When was this? What year? I turned pro in 2007.

Wow. Mm-hmm. So when was the amateur then? How long was that from? I probably fought amateur for about a year and a half. Okay. Mm-hmm. 2005.

Yeah. 2006. Gotcha. Mm-hmm. So you were doing that. There really wasn't many women fighting at the time. Mm-hmm. 2005. Yeah. 2006, gotcha. Mm-hmm. So you were doing that. There really wasn't many women fighting at the time. Mm-hmm. Except for maybe some smokers in the backyard or something.

Yeah, it just, it wasn't, it was very taboo. Yeah. You know, it was very taboo for women to be fighting. Were there women in the UFC at that time? No, no, no, no. Really? At that time, Dana White, like, was seriously against women being in the UFC. He would? No, no, no, no. At that time, Dana White was seriously against women being in the UFC. He would even say it publicly, women don't belong in the cage. Wow. And there'll never

be a place for women in the UFC. He said that? Yeah. When did that change? When he met Ronda. So when did Ronda do her first fight in the UFC? I don't know. I mean, I don't know the date specifically. I remember the event because it was huge for women's MMA to be able to have that platform. What was the vision for you then? If there was no women in UFC at the time that you were doing amateur fighting, where could you go? What was the next step after the smoker events? What was the platform?

So there were a couple different avenues that I could have gone, you know, but I do remember moving out to Albuquerque and living in the dorms of Jackson Winklejohn. And when I say dorms, it really wasn't a dorm. It was just kind of like a hole in the wall upstairs. I slept on a bunk bed next to the fridge. But when I finally got my apartment, I remember putting up a vision board. And at that time, Dana White was in no way, but putting up a vision board and still like having fighting for the UFC up on the vision board, fighting for the UFC. And there were a couple of different things, but yeah, that was one of them. And it was just kind of like, maybe not now, but eventually. Eventually it'll get there, you know?

So that was one of my goals. But also, like I said, I grew up watching martial arts flicks and stuff like that. I was like, man, I could be a Power Ranger. I could be a street fighter. I could, you know, do this and that. or I could, you know, do this and that. But really, the reason why I fought is because it really forced me to face my fears. I'm not a confrontational person.

But fighting forced me to deal with, like, my fears and the conflict. Like, once they close the cage behind you, you can't, like, turn around and be like, okay, now I'm done. I'm just going to get out of here. Yeah. You know? You got to go to the end. Yeah. Everybody's afraid to get hit. Everybody's afraid of losing. Everybody's afraid of getting embarrassed. Getting hurt. Getting hurt, bruising their ego. So for me, it was a lot of things that I was overcoming personally in fighting. What was your biggest fears?

That I wasn't good enough, that I didn't belong. Those are probably the two. Those are probably the two biggest fears. That you weren't good enough and didn't belong in MMA or in general? Probably in general, yeah. And what's the biggest fear today? I'd have to say my biggest fear now is, like, getting in my own way, I guess. It's like, can I handle, am I good enough to be successful?

That's probably one of my biggest fears. What do you define as success? Yeah, I mean, that's something I'm still trying to figure out now, you know, especially having my daughter. After having my daughter, I'm just very content with my life because she is my everything, you know, and I have a great husband. And so that's kind of like a struggle too. It's like, well, if I'm content in life, then what am I pushing forward towards? Why I have this like hole that I feel the need to fill you know you still have that hole yeah for sure I think that there are still some things that I want in my career what do you want I want to be I want to be a champion I want to be

able to like when I think about the martial artists that I watched growing up, it was always like, wow, I want to do that. That's a cool move. I want to do that. And I want to be able to be that person for somebody else. I want to leave a legacy to where people talk about me like, yeah, she's a beast. She's an amazing martial artist. I don't know. To be able to do that.

And one of the reasons why I got into martial arts is because of my instructor. He really was in my life at a pivotal moment. And so he changed my life for the better. And it would be nice to know that I can do that for others. Yeah. What does it take to be a champion in the UFC? I think you have to have a really strong,

genuine, deep confidence. It has to be deep in your core. It has to be unshakable. So you can't doubt yourself at all. You can't doubt yourself at all, and you have to be two steps ahead of everybody else. What does that mean? Because there's so many different things that go into fighting.

It's not just physical. Of course it is, obviously. You have to be physically ready. But once you surpass that, once you guys are all on the same level physically, then it becomes a mental game. Are you mentally sharp? Can you deal with the media? Can you deal with all the outside noise?

Can you deal with all the inside noise in your head? Can you deal with all of the other circumstances surrounding you as you are training for this fight? There's just so many different elements that go into it and everything has to fall into place for you to win that one night. Yeah. One moment. One moment. You change everything.

What do you do to silence the conversation that holds you back when it comes up? When it comes up? I take a deep breath and I tell myself confidence. And it just calms me. I feel like we all have that voice in our head, that inner critic. In my mind, it's my mom. Like, what are you doing? My my mom is just like super like critical and really like it has always but I think it's just culturally like that's how they raise their kids it's kind of like a that negative motivation put

the chip on your shoulder you know but I've been working a lot with a sports psychologist and he explains it to me in a way that like the same emotions you get when you're fearful are the same emotions you get when you're excited. We just perceive them differently. So anytime I do get nervous or afraid or anxious, I just take a deep breath and I tell myself confidence. And it reminds me to use that energy, that nervous energy, and transform it into good energy, energy that's going to feel me, energy that's going to build confidence within me, and energy that's going to allow me to use it for towards my benefit. From the moment you get the announcement for a new fight and they say okay you're fighting in six weeks or eight weeks whenever it is how long does

it usually take? Depends. A fight camp is usually anywhere between six and ten weeks. Six and ten weeks. Okay say eight weeks away we've announced this here's the date two months what's the challenging part for you physically and mentally from the moment you get the phone call to the moment you step into the ring it's kind of like it goes in waves i think at the very beginning when the fight gets announced it's like ah it's go time you. So then just trying to get your nerves in order, watching tape, trying to break down your opponent. And then you kind of just get into a rhythm of fight camp and you forget about all that stuff. And then the clock starts ticking down and you start losing days.

And you start to think if you've trained enough, you start to second guess yourself. Do I need to train harder? And then all the interviews roll in. And they start asking you questions of things you never even thought about until they start asking you, well, you know, Disha's really good. She's a power puncher. And these are things you don't even think about. And then they say that and it brings up that self-doubt again. And I'd say at the beginning of fight camp, it's nervous and then they say that and it brings up that self-doubt again and I'd

say at the beginning of fight camp it's nervous and then it dies down and then it comes back up and then come fight week if you've prepped yourself both physically for me I feel like the more physically ready you are the more mentally content you can be because Because you know you put in the work. Yes, exactly. And only you know that, right? If you didn't put in the work, you can lie to the media, you can lie to everybody else, you can try to put on a show and smile and say that you're ready and you're the fittest you've ever been. But only you know yourself if you've put in that time. So for me, like I'm most confident when I know I've put in

the time but it's not just like it's not just putting in the time it's actually being present in those moments when I do put in the time because you can write it's like quality versus quantity because you can have good workout sessions, but you weren't there. Yeah, you weren't present. You weren't present. You weren't intentional with every rep. Yeah, or you can have workout sessions where you are present, maybe not so many, but they mean more because you were there in the moment.

In your opinion, what does it mean to respect your opponent? And how can you be respectful to your opponent when you're fighting them and pounding their face on the ground? That's a hard one. That is a hard one because, like I said, I'm a people pleaser. I'm not a trash talker. I'm not good at—it's a fine line. And I think it depends on the person, really. There have been fights where I have given my opponent too much respect and maybe subconsciously felt like they deserve the win over me.

Really? Yeah. Why? Because of their status, because of their ranking, because I knew them personally. And that's hard. You have to shelf that. You have to shelf that. You have to say, I respect you,

but at the end of the day, you and I are both getting in here to take each other's heads off, and if I don't get into the cage to do that, then I'm doing you a disservice. You're doing her a disservice. Yeah, because I'm not giving her my 100%. I'm not giving her my true warriors. I'll take it easy on you. Yeah,

like when you're like playing with your little sister, little brother, and they tell you no punching. So you, you know, you just, you kind of like scale it back. Like you're doing your opponent disservice when you do that. And that's how I've had to look at it. I've had to look at, I've had to take my opponent out of the equation. Your feelings for them, your care for them. I had to go into the octagon and tell myself that I deserve to win because I've put in all the time, I've put in all the work. And whatever happens after that happens. Yeah.

Kind of. What has your biggest losses taught you about yourself? I guess probably just the most obvious one is that there's always somebody bigger and badder than you. Sometimes you can be 100% ready for something and still fail. Really? Was there a time where you felt like you were so prepared, you were going to win, and then you didn't win?

Mm-hmm. Really? Yeah. How does that feel? Like crap. Like crap. Like crap. It's so hard. Like losing in front of millions of people,

it's kind of like a nightmare that haunts you. When you win, the high is so high. And when you lose, it's just incredibly low. And I think that's probably another reason why we do it is because of those endorphin rushes. But it's funny because when you win, you don't really take the time to break apart your performance and see what you did well and see what you didn't do well. But when you lose, it's like you go and you you relive the moment over and over and over and over again and what if I did this differently what if I did that differently was it because the fight was it because my weight cut was it because things that happened outside of my

fights and you start to like like spiral out of control of all these what ifs. And I remember talking to my coach about one of my losses and trying to figure out why I lost, really. And I was talking to him, and I was like, what if I did this differently, and what if I did that? And he just stopped me, and he said, Peanut, like, that's what they call me at the gym, Peanut. You just went left instead of right. Like, leave it at that. Yeah. Like, leave it at that.

Yeah, like, leave it at that. Because if you keep trying to do this to yourself, like, you're going to take away the good that you did in the fight and you're going to stop believing in yourself. It was just a split second of you being in the wrong place at the wrong time, you know? So that was kind of like a hard pill to swallow. Yeah. How do you manage the emotions up and down? I think you just kind of have to ride the wave. You ride the wave and you have to know that they're going to come.

Yeah. Yeah. Is there any fighter men or women that manage the emotions really well that you're aware of or they're not too high and they're not too low? Mm-hmm. The girl that I look up to the most when it comes to fighting and also just in life in general is probably Holly, Holly Holm. She's pretty good with managing emotions.

She's very, like, even keel. She's, like, very—she never gets ahead of herself. She's very humble. She dethroned Ronda Rousey and still, after the fact, was very humble about her win, never talked smack about her. Even though all throughout the press conferences leading up to the fight, Ronda was just putting her down left and right. Holly never, you know. Never put her down? Never put her down left and right Holly never you know never put her down never put her down even after the fact that's pretty impressive never put her down and I've also seen Holly get knocked out cold you

have in a fight and muster up the humility to go to the press conference and congratulate her opponent. Wow. And then come into the gym on Monday and train. That's pretty impressive. Yeah, she's an amazing woman. Wow. She really is. What's the biggest lesson you've learned from her?

To do. She just does. No questions. You know what I mean? She's just a doer. She's not analyzing it or being fearful. She's like, okay, I'm going to do it anyways. She's a worker.

Win or lose, she continues to trek forward and has that belief in herself that she is great. and has that belief in herself that she is great. What was the most challenging emotional wave you had to experience leading up into a fight that was personal, that wasn't about the fight? I'd have to say it was two fights ago when I was getting ready to fight Tisha Torres. So my fight got announced. There was a lot of great things happening. Tisha's a, her and I are like neck and neck in the rankings. My husband and I just put money down for a brand new house. And then we get a phone call from my husband's mom telling us that his dad got in a really bad car accident. And, I mean, that's all we knew.

You know, it was the beginning of our fight camp, and usually we don't travel or do anything. Once fight camp hits, we're just focused. But there was just something in her voice that we knew something was wrong. So we just packed up our stuff and drove out. They live in El Paso. it's about three and a half hours out and we drove out and she's um just like very frantic and talking to her and you know how the doctors are sometimes when stuff like that happens they they can't sugarcoat what has happened. They have to give you the facts factually so that you can deal with it moving forward.

And the doctors told her that he would never walk again. We were just, there was just like a numb feeling, you know. It was just like incredible high to like, we didn't even know what to do really like I think the the saddest part about it all is that like Josh's parents are like you know they've been they had him when she was 16 and they'd been together like that's all they knew they that's all they know they know each other and they're like madly in love with each other and and that's one of the reasons why I fell in love with him is meeting his family and seeing the love that they had for each other. It's just like always going out on the weekends and dancing and partying

and to think that he would never walk again, you know. But Josh is kind of like the rock of their family. I could tell that it was bothering him, but he had to stay strong because of the circumstances. And so he has a little brother, 21 years. He's going into sixth grade, and all this stuff happens. And so we don't know how long he's going to be in the hospital for. We don't know anything. But's going to be in the hospital for. We don't know anything. But we have to pick up the pieces.

So Jaden comes back to Albuquerque with us. And we enroll him in school. But while all this stuff is happening, I'm getting ready for my fight coming off a loss. And I feel selfish. I feel selfish when I wake up in the morning to get to go run and like when I tell them that like I need to focus because I'm getting ready for this fight when my father-in-law can't even scratch his nose if he wants to you know so that was like something that like really weighed heavy on me is like how am I how can I be selfish in my training when my father-in-law is like fighting for his life

you know like I really struggled with that because I felt like it was like I shouldn't have been training for a fight. I should have been there for him. You know, we should have been there for him. Our whole family should have. Yeah. And like my husband, he's just like taking the brunt of it. He's the rock for everybody.

He's the rock for them. He's the rock for me. So he broke. And that was like really hard for me to see because he's's a rock for me so he broke and that was like really hard for me to see because he's usually the rock for me you know and um he he broke in what way he's been in the military he's been overseas he's like did door-to-door convoys for while he's in iraq and worked in the prisons and stuff and so so, yeah, like, he has PTSD. But I've never seen him.

I think he was just trying to hold it in for so long, and I was trying to, like, tell him, like, you got to let it go, you know. He doesn't want anybody to see that, you know. But he's probably upset that I'm saying this now, but, like, it was just, like, in our brand-new house that we're supposed to be, like, super excited of having. And he just, I remember him going outside and just looking up at the stars. And, like, I went out there to try to, like, comfort him, and he just was like, you should just go to bed. Like, and he just stayed out there.

And he broke down, you know. And then maybe like a couple days later, he called me. Like he didn't know what was wrong. But he said that his lips started going numb and that his fingers started tingling and his heart was pounding. He was having a panic attack. But he didn't know. Like he'd never had one ever before in his life and like it freaked him out and right now he's like a financial advisor so he's like put all this like extra like life insurance on it like he just like freaked out

and he just didn't know like how to deal with it all because he's usually the one that takes care of everything. But he couldn't fix what was happening. It just is what it is. So I think that's what frustrated him the most. How did you handle that? I mean, you're still training every day. Your husband's going through this. Your father-in-law, how were you able to handle it all and stay focused somewhat?

Well, he was trying to hide it all and stay focused somewhat well he was trying to hide it from me because he didn't want me to get distracted you know he's also in my corner and we just stayed close in touch and and there were so many things going on that had to get taken care of yeah that that's how we handled it We just took care of what needed to get taken care of. And we would talk to his parents. And his dad's situation became motivation for us to push forward. You know, like all the small, minor things that he was accomplishing, whether it was moving his fingers or being able to get in an actual wheelchair, like that was a huge accomplishment for him. And so we kind of just rallied behind each other.

They rallied behind me getting ready to fight. And we rallied behind him every day, like in his PT progress, you know? And so that's kind of how we dealt with it. How is he doing now? So he's home now. They converted the house and made it, like, accessible. He's home now, and he's doing PT. The doctor that saw him originally, the one that said that he would never, the doctor said he'd be paralyzed from the neck down,

and was really shocked at his progression. The one that said that he would never, the doctor said he'd be paralyzed from the neck down. And was really shocked at his progression. So now he's in a wheelchair. He has movement in his hands. He's doing PT in the water. And we're just hopeful. One day at a time. Yeah.

Yeah, that's good. So during that whole fight camp, eight, ten weeks, how did it end up? Were you able to fight well? Were you able to, I mean, how did you focus on fight day without feeling like this selfishness or like this lack of care or all the things you were feeling? I felt great. Like I really did have a good camp, despite everything that happened. My weight was good. I felt stronger than ever.

But I did feel distracted. And usually it's okay to distract yourself a bit. But if you distract yourself too much, you don't allow yourself to deal with what's really in front of you, which was a fight. You get kicked in the face. Yeah. Yeah. And I didn't deal with that, and it cost me the fight.

It did. Yeah. I lost the fight. I mean, like I said, there are so many different things that go into it. Like I said, I felt great. I had a great camp. We had a great game plan. But there were also moments where I wasn't I wasn't focused

on the fight because I was in my head I pictured this movie ending where you know grandpa macho was gonna see me win the fight I was gonna get on the mic and I was gonna say you know this is for you grandpa and he was gonna get up out of the wheelchair you know in a miracle and like I had these I had these like dreams and like fantasies of like it being that okay and it wasn't it wasn't you lost I lost my fight I was beat up he was still struggling he was still struggling I was in the hospital until one o'clock in the morning. Your husband's having breakdowns. Yeah. Yeah.

And that's life. Yeah. And so. What was the next step you made after that fight? Just. Did you give yourself a break and relax? Did you get right back into training? Did you beat yourself up?

Yeah. Everything. You got a manicure. You beat yourself up. You were training. Everything. You got a manicure, beat yourself up, you were training, everything. I probably ate like five tubs of ice cream in one sitting. Oh, man. I've been there many times. I did beat myself up. There was a lot of introspective thinking, trying to break down, trying to figure out what went wrong.

And then, like I said, when my coach was just like, kind of just like, you have to let it go. You have to move on. And when we decided to move on, we just, you know, really took the time to focus on family and just look. I don't know how to explain it. Like, I really was, like, I wasn't present. I was present somewhere else.

So I had to understand that. Like, I had to understand that I needed to be present. And that that's just the way the cards were dealt for me. And I can't be upset about it. And I have to move forward from it. How do you get back to keeping your mental strength after an injury, a bad loss, or something like this happening? How do you get back to focus, mental strength, confidence when it's seemingly gone? Yeah.

It's like digging yourself out of a hole. You just have to do it like one step at a time. And you have to consistently work at it, I think, because it's easier to listen to the voices in your head and to the media about all the negativity. I don't know why it's so much easier to let the negative stuff creep into your brain than it is to fight that and to be positive. But you really do have to fight it. It really is a work in progress. So every time I start to think negative thoughts, I just take a deep breath and tell myself confidence.

And I try to focus on the small picture. I don't look at the big picture. It's like trying to tell yourself that you're going to get up a mountain in one day. You're just not. So it's just like one step at a time. You go to practice, and today I'm going to work on my jab. And if I get punched a million times, it's okay because I worked on my jab, you know? And if I get punched a million times, it's okay because I worked on my jab and I know that I landed 10 good jabs. And when I focus on some, when I have like a small goal and I focus on that, then I'm less likely to let those other things that went wrong cloud my brain.

What's the greatest lesson your mom taught you that has supported you in getting where you're at? My mom has always been, like I was saying, she's like really hard on me, you know, she's, but it's all from love. And to be honest, I think that's probably the biggest thing I can take away from that is like, if I can take criticism from my mom, then I should be able to take it from anybody else. How many people can take it from their mom?

If my mom is sitting here telling me that I did a bad job and I still love her and she still loves me, then I can take it from anybody else. Yeah, exactly. So the ability to take in the things that she's saying even though they're super negative sometimes and to know that it's coming from a place of love like okay like she'll tell me like literally the my last fight the week before my fight she's like Michelle you need to put your right hand up okay you always get punched in the face on your right side. All the time. Punched in the face on the right side.

You get beat up all the time. Like a week before my fight, I'm like, really don't need to be hearing that. I know this too. My coach is telling me I can watch a film. Yeah, or she'll tell, like, you know, she really good. I'm kind of nervous. You know, did you see her muscle?

Really big, really tall. I'm scared. nervous. You know, did you see her muscle? Really big, really tall. I'm scared. Oh, wow. Those are the things that she tells me. I'm not sure if she thinks that it's going to give me confidence, but I've been able to take the things that she tells me. And like I said, knowing that it's coming from a place of love, instead of getting angry and pent up about the things that she says,

just taking a deep breath and kind of like working it through my machine and transforming it into confidence. Yeah. What's the greatest lesson your dad taught you about being a better woman? My dad would always tell me to never let anybody get in my way of my dreams, not even myself. And I think that's probably the biggest thing because I do. I allow myself to, I sabotage myself a lot because I don't know, because I don't think I deserve it, because I don't think I'm ready ready because I'm scared of success.

But that's probably the biggest thing that my best thing my dad taught me. What would make you feel like you deserve it or that you're ready? I talked about this with my sports psychologist and I finally came to a place of content with that answer. And it goes to the idea of being great. I would always tell him, and it might be because of my martial arts background and my upbringing, but it's like, well, first you have to get your white belt, yellow belt, orange belt. There are steps to this before you become a black belt.

So in my mind, it's like, before I become a champ, before I become Holly Holm or Muhammad Ali, I have to go through these steps. And I was telling my sports psychologist that, his name is Dr. Will Shandon, and he said, do you think that when Muhammad Ali was a champion that he still had things to work on? And of course he did. Everybody still had things to work on. And of course he did. Everybody always has things to work on. And then he said, but do you think that stopped him from being great in that moment? And it didn't. So I've finally allowed myself to accept the greatness of myself

in the present moment while still knowing that there are things that I have to improve on. Or not have to, but want to. So that's been my biggest thing is like giving myself that opportunity to be great now while I'm still fixing my flaws. The permission to achieve it now and not like, well, I have to wait until I hit these steps. Yeah. What do you want your daughter to know about you? What type of example do you want to set for her? And if she was proud, if you wanted her to be proud of one thing about you, what would that be?

I hope it's that throughout everything that I never let go of my dreams. And that a big one is actually having her. You know, I had her in the middle of my career. So there was a lot of unknowns. Can I go back into fighting? Will I want to go back into fighting? Will I be good enough to go back into fighting? And I did.

And I was more successful after the fact. Really? Yeah. Why do you think that is? Because I had a reason. You know, before it was obviously a passion of mine. But after having her, it was like I can't just fight because I enjoy it. Like it has to be a career.

I have to make an impact. I have to be able to make it something that can support my family financially. Yeah. I don't know. I just, my dad has also been like a big, has always told me like that your actions speak louder than your words. And so I think that by pursuing my dreams, it'll show her more than me telling her, go after your dreams, baby. You know, like, you can do it. Yeah, that's cool. This is called the three truths. And I ask everyone this question at the end.

So imagine this is your last day many years from now. And it's your last day on earth. You're as old as you want to be, and you've achieved every dream you want. You've got the family you want. You've traveled. You've done it all. But whatever you've done, you have to take it all with you. So all of your work.

So am I going to a different planet? You're dying. Okay. It's your last day on Earth. Okay. Unless we've evolved some way and you go to some other planet. Yeah. It's the last day on Earth. Right? It's the last've evolved some way and you go to some other planet, yeah. It's the last day on earth, right?

It's the last day people will see you. You've done it all. But for whatever reason, no one has access to your information anymore or the things you've said or this interview or your work, your videos. They can't watch anymore.

But you get to write down on the piece of paper the three things you know to be true about all of your experiences from being a mother, a wife, a daughter, a fighter. Everything you've done boils down to three truths that you would leave behind for people to be remembering you by. What would you say are those three lessons or three truths that you would share? Okay. I would say that it's important to be a person of action, to not just dream and keep your head in the clouds, but to actually do.

I would say that another one would be to truly invest in the people that matter to you. And when I say invest, I mean your time and your blood and your sweat and your tears and your heart. Because so many times we invest in the wrong things. We invest our time in the wrong things. And when it's all said and done, that's a lot of people's biggest regrets. You can't take time back. regrets. You can't take time back. And I would say the last thing would be that we're all going to, we're all going to run into challenges and adversities. That's just the way the world works. And to let your circumstances, to let your adversities, to let your challenges

be the wind that strengthens your character, that strengthens the roots of your soul, and to not let the wind break you, but to let it strengthen you. Those are powerful. Those are great. I want to acknowledge you for a moment, because from the moment I met you until now, you've shown up strong and vulnerable. You've shown up loving and passionate. And I think you're an incredible example of someone who is doing it all. You've got an incredible daughter, incredible family. You're giving.

You're compassionate. All these things you're doing and you're fighting for your dreams in a respectful way. And I think it's an incredible example of how to be a powerful woman in today. And so I want to really acknowledge you for all that you're doing and all the inspiration you have in the world. And thanks for sharing everything today. Thank you. And of course, is there any final thing you would like to share or wish we talked about that we haven't talked about? No, I'd just like to thank you.

Because I think sometimes I try to shy away from the hard questions. And it's nice to be forced. Gently forced to answer those questions. Yes, that's the word I was looking for. Encourage me. Where can we connect with you online? I'm at KarateHottyMMA, and I'm probably the most active on Instagram. Okay, cool.

You have a website as well? I do have a website, but I'm not active on it. I've really been trying to put more effort into my YouTube channel, putting up vlogs and tutorials and stuff like that. So karate hottie MMA on YouTube as well. I think so. Or it's Michelle Watterson, the karate hottie, something with the karate hottie in it. We'll find it. Yeah. We'll link it up for you. Very cool. Final question then is what's your definition? Well, actually first, when's your next fight? No, I don't have any fights right now. I don't have any fights scheduled.

So how can we be in tune to that if we want to watch a fight? Just watch you on Instagram. You'll announce it, all that stuff. Yeah, I'll keep everybody posted on Instagram. Okay. Summer's kind of busy. I'm out here in L.A. going to be behind the desk, so it's something I'm trying to pursue. For Fox, right?

Yeah. Okay. And then, yeah, just continuing to get better as a martial artist. And hopefully, I'm guessing September time frame is when I'll fight again. September time frame. And where are you based? What city? I'm in Albuquerque.

Do you do workshops there as well if someone wanted to come to a workshop? I don't, but I will. You will. Got it. Okay. So they can reach you on Instagram. They can message you there or they can email you on your site. Yeah.

If they want to do something. Okay, cool. Final question then. What's your definition of greatness? I think we kind of touched on it earlier, but the ability to accept the greatness in who you are at this present moment with all your flaws, but to also have the hunger and desire to want to grow and evolve each day. Michelle, thank you. Appreciate it. Bam.

Oh, I love this. I love when people open up. I love when they share and break down the things that hold them back, but also the things that have gotten them to where they are to help them be successful and achieve their goals, their dreams, so that we can lean in and learn from these inspiring individuals and apply that wisdom to our life. If you enjoyed this, make sure to share with your friend. Take a screenshot and post a story on your Instagram page, lewishouse.com slash 655. You can tag Michelle as well and post it on Twitter, Facebook, all the places.

And let me know what you thought of this one. Again, share it with a friend, lewishouse.com slash 655. The full video interview is over on our show notes there on our YouTube channel as well. Make sure to subscribe because every week we've got powerful video interviews over on our YouTube channel at youtube.com slash Lewis Howes as well. And I want you to remember one thing, that you are here for a reason and a mission and a purpose in this life. You were born with an amazing ability and it's your duty to figure out what the reason is that you're here for. It's your duty right now to discover that. I don't care if you're in

transition. I don't care if you're depressed, if you're hurt, you're in pain, you're uncertain, you're scared. It doesn't matter. Your duty is to figure out what it is you're here for right now. And the best way to feel better and the best way to grow and the best way to achieve your dreams is to serve others. Living a life of service. That can be just doing what you love because doing what you love will inspire people around you through your energy, through your passion, through your heart. That's what this life is about. Living in service by doing the thing that you love the most. The reason you were born is a one and only reason and only you get to figure out what that

is. You can get support from others. You can get feedback, but you've got to listen to the heart and soul inside of you and reach for what you want and start taking those steps today. I love you very much. I hope you enjoyed this episode. If you did, let me know on Instagram at Lewis Howes. And as always, you know what time it is. It's time to go out there and do something great. សូវាប់បានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបា Bye.