The School of Greatness - 680 Becoming a Master Speaker and Presenter

Episode Date: August 15, 2018

"PERFORMING IS ABOUT CONNECTING” - MICHAEL I don’t know if you know this, but I used to be TERRIFIED of speaking. I couldn’t get up in front of my class to give presentations. I was even scared to read in front of a few friends. Any time I had to speak before a big games, I was trembling. Public speaking is one of the most important tools, no matter what your career is. You need to be able to properly present yourself so you seem confident, and people trust you. Thanks to some training I was able to overcome this fear. Today, I get on stage in front of thousands for people and make a lot of money doing it. For this episode, I decided to give you some tips that can potentially change you life like it has mine. I wanted to share some of the lessons I’ve learned on what makes a great presenter, which is why I put together this new mashup for you. This one is really powerful. I hand picked some of the best words of wisdom from people like Michael Port, Bo Eason, Carmine Gallo, and Sean Stephenson. Don’t miss this one. I know you’ll be able to take a lot away from these guys, so get ready to take notes. This episode could easily change the trajectory of your life. You’ll be learning all about what makes a great speaker , on Episode 680. In This Episode You Will Learn: Why it doesn’t matter if you’re an introvert or extrovert (6:33) How to be a better performer (7:32) Where criticism comes into play (10:07) How to find your voice (11:44) Where you should start your stories (12:15) How to get people to connect with you (14:30) What to do if you don’t think you have a great story (16:38) How to find your pacing (19:18) How to properly use body language (22:12) How to leave someone breathless (23:29) The thing that makes other people trust you (24:48)

This is episode number 680. I'm becoming a master speaker and presenter. Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, a former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin. John Ford said that you can speak well if your tongue can deliver the message of your heart. One of the most important skills I've ever developed is public speaking. It was once my biggest fear. I stressed

about it. I was terrified to get in front of five people, to stand up in front of my classmates, to stand up on a stage, to stand up in the football field. It didn't matter. I was terrified of it. But through lots of practice and training, I now speak on massive stages, guys, tens of thousands of people and get paid tens of thousands of dollars for it. And I've had the chance of getting coached by some incredible speakers throughout the years. So on this master's episode, I'm bringing you wisdom from previous interviews with some of the best speaking coaches in the world. This is such a powerful skill to develop. I cannot emphasize this enough. When you learn to communicate what's on

your heart to the world or to one other person, that's when you can start to make a change. That's when you can start to see things develop. That's when you can start to manifest what you want. Those who can learn how to communicate are some of the greatest leaders in the world. So imagine if you can just learn one or two little things that you can be better in your day-to-day practice of communication and speaking and presenting. It will change the trajectory of your life when you learn to communicate and get that message across better to the people in front of you. Featuring some clips from Michael Port, who's an incredible speaker, Bo Eason, Carmine Gallo, who talks about TED Talk speeches and really how to present on TED stages. Also, Sean Stevenson, incredible and inspiring

speaker and coach as well. Before we dive in, big shout out to the fan of the week. This is from Erica L. Makeup, who said, this is an incredible daily inspiration. I get so excited for each new episode release and continuing to listen to past episodes. I love how passionate you are, Lewis, and truly bringing on amazing content to inspire us, motivate us, and challenge us to become the best authentic person we can be. So thank you so much, Erica L makeup. You are the fan of the week. And again, we've got over 3,300 five-star reviews. If you guys haven't left your review yet, you can right now on the Apple Podcast app. Again, big thank you to both of our sponsors. And without further ado,

let's dive into this episode on the masters of speaking and presenting. presenting. I want to try to separate these two things because introvert extrovert doesn't necessarily make you a better performer one way or the other. But if you are very shy, if you, or you label yourself as shy and you don't like people watching you, maybe that's something else and that's okay. That's not a bad thing bad thing you don't you don't have to change yourself and all of a sudden start having this big huge personality that's definitely not necessary because ultimately performing is about connecting that's what it's about and all of us can connect with one person or 1,000 people when I coach, one of the things that is really important to me in all of our heroic public speaking training programs is that you

will never see one of our speakers look like another speaker. Like nobody would, would watch anyone that I've trained and say, ah, that's a Michael Port method teacher speaker. It's just not going to happen because, because it's an art, it's an art performance is an art. And each one of us is an individual. And what, what I do with the book, steal the show. And in all of our training is find the individual and give you an opportunity to express yourself as an individual. So one performer may move a lot on stage and that's the way that we're going to direct them and coach them. And they use their physicality in really extreme ways and it works

very well for them. But another, we may have them very still for most of their presentation because that is a much more powerful place for them to be. So there is not a one size fits all approach to any kind of performance. Performance is an art and often the performer's job is to break the rules, not necessarily to be controversial or just to break the rules, but to try to create something better in its place. And to that end, I think we have two options. We can be critics or we can be performers, but I don't think we can be both. What do you mean critics? Well, I think that there's a place for people who are professional critics, you know, someone who in the New York times, they review movies and plays. And I think there's a place for that. But if you spend any time on Facebook these days, many people have a lot of

very strong opinions about what other people do or don't do. And I think one of the reasons that we're so afraid of performance is because we're afraid of being criticized. And if we spend our time criticizing others, how are we going to get up there in front of others and take any risks? So you're saying people that do criticize a lot of the time usually aren't the ones taking the risks themselves. No. Let me ask you a question. When's the last time you wrote a negative review about somebody's podcast book or anything else? Have you ever done that?

I don't know if I ever have. Yeah, exactly right. And when I ask all my colleagues and I really, I very rarely use absolutes, but every colleague at a high level that I've asked the same question to, they've said, Hmm, no, I've never done that. Too busy creating. Exactly. Yeah, exactly right. So one of our students, um, called up Amy and he was really upset because somebody blasted his video, you know, Oh, you're like Joel Osteen and blah, blah, blah. And I don't, you know, I don't know why the guy hates Joel Osteen, but you know, for whatever reason, this guy just blasted him and his video is fantastic. And he's a wonderful speaker, but rarely will everybody like what you do, but he took it so personally. And I asked him, who's the guy? He's like, well, I don't really know him that well. I said, okay, what does he

have to do with what you do for a living? Nothing. What does he have to do with the people that you're trying to serve? Nothing. But yet it's still so powerful when other people criticize us. And look, there are two types of critics. There's the external critic, and then there's the critic in your own head. And when you criticize yourself, you tend to hear the external critics even more. Yeah. So, you know, those are the, like, I always call them the people in the cheap seats who like to push other people down to lift themselves up. Yeah.

Yeah. So we don't really have any time for that. That's not interesting to us. We're trying to make things because anybody can break things. The question is, can you build something better in its place? And that's what we're focused on. But if you can work on silencing

those voices of judgment in your head, the ones that tell you you're not enough, you don't know enough, you'll never be enough, what do I have to say that already hasn't been said? If you can quiet those down and you won't hear those voices out in the cheap seats quite as much and you don't need to be different to make a difference.

In our world, and when I say world, I mean our industry, often there's this real strong push to try to be different than other people. And somehow the idea of being different is conflated with being unique, yourself. As if that's what you're supposed to do, be different, be different, be different. And I don't think trying to be different is a way of finding your voice. Trying to be more honest is a way of finding your voice. And if we focus on being different, then we will feel either like a fraud or we'll feel insignificant because we don't feel that different.

If I'm unknown and I'm speaking in front of an audience, which happens all the time. So I'm speaking in front of people who've never heard of me. They don't know any of my background. The first place I start is a defining moment. And if you think about storytelling throughout your life, like you and me and everyone who's listening has grown up with story. That's how we were taught. We've watched movies. We've been read books.

We've been watching TV shows. Everything is story to us. So we know as a human being, one of our greatest attributes that's natural to us is we understand story and we connect to it. We love it. So if you think back of every great story that you've ever heard or any great movie that you've ever seen, it starts in the middle of the story. Do you notice, like, think of a movie right now. Think of an action movie with Tom Cruise, like, say, Mission Impossible, one of those kind of movies. Every time, the first frame of film that they show isn't Tom Cruise getting ready to do something.

It's Tom Cruise being punched. He's swinging from a rope. He's being punched in the face. They're taking his children. He's in the middle of the story. So that is a defining moment in his life. So same is true for you and me. So when I'm in front of groups that don't know me, the first thing out of my mouth is not thank you or it's great to be here in Detroit.

The first thing out of my mouth is when I was nine years old, I had a dream. So I drew up a 20-year plan. That sentence is in the middle. Now, you know me like you know your next-door neighbor because of one sentence, because it's a defining moment. It's a moment when I'm nine. So when you say that to people, when you let people in, like say it was you, Lewis, and you said to me,

first thing out of your mouth, you come on stage and you say, when I was 13 years old, I was in love with a girl named Cindy. And I asked her to the prom and she said no. Do you start a story like that? That's a defining moment that shapes your life forevermore. that's a defining moment that shapes your life forevermore. So right when you do that, when you get that intimate and that personal right out of the gates, people connect to you because now they think they're you.

They think because you, everyone has that kind of pain and everyone has that kind of defining moment. So the minute you say, when I was nine years old, I had a dream, everyone in the audience and everyone listening is now thinking of themselves when they were none and what dreams they had and what dreams where they, where they have heartbreak. So that is really the key. The more personal your story, So that is really the key. The more personal your story, the more effective it is, the more universal it becomes. Because people, and this is, you know, you and I were raised, you know, in a world that says, you know, don't brag about yourself.

Don't talk about yourself. It's not about you. Well, that's just not true. Look, a great storyteller shares himself or herself so that other people can participate. So when I say when I was 13, my girlfriend Cindy dumped me. Everyone listening goes, oh, man, I remember that heartache. I got dumped, yeah. Yep. And so now you have intimacy and connection and trust that would have taken you five years to build. And you have it in one sentence. That's what I'm talking about. So when I teach business people and entrepreneurs, that opening line, what is it? So you can lay out some connective tissue so these people can start to co-create with you. That's what you want. Right, right. Very cool. Yeah, because it's all about

building that bond and that trust and that likability and that relationship with anyone else coming in contact with you. So I think that's extremely valuable. But what about people that feel like they don't have a great story or don't have anything to talk about? What do you say to them or how do you help them discover it? That's true of almost everybody I've ever taught. Everybody I've ever taught. That's true of myself. And that's true of every person that I've ever encountered.

They think that the first thing that we do as human beings is devalue our own story. Or compare to someone else's story. Right. It's not good enough. Yeah, your story is so dramatic. It's just not dramatic to you because for you, you've lived it. And so it seems mundane and ordinary to you

because you lived it. But often, like this one kid got up, and I swear this is the first thing that came out of his mouth, Lewis. And he thought it was nothing. But to everyone else, they fell off their chairs. He got up and he said, the second time that my dad broke my arm, that was the first sentence out of his mouth. Now, he thought, because that was his life, he assumed that that was everybody's life. It was normal.

Everybody's experience. Yeah. But so us in the audience, we're falling out of our seats going, did he just say that? But to him, it was mundane and ordinary because that was his life. Now, when I talk about playing pro football, I played pro football and therefore all my friends that I kind of grew up with and that I knew, all the people that I knew were also pro football players. So to us, it wasn't anything big deal. It was just like, doesn't everybody play pro basketball? And then you get out in the regular world and you realize that that's very rare. And it's dramatic to people to tell them that.

Well, the same is true for every person that I've ever met. They've got super dramatic, moving stories. They just don't know it. Because they try to encapsulate their whole story. Like I'm 53 years old. So if I was to break down my whole 53 years, that would be a long, boring, stupid story. Right. But what I break down is the most defining moment, like when I was nine and had a dream.

That's what's dramatic. That's what's dramatic. I don't want people to get too focused on the number of words that they've said, but you bring up a good point. So let's go back to Bryan Stevenson. Bryan Stevenson, you know, I'm urging your listeners to watch Bryan Stevenson. His delivery is the best delivery I've ever heard. It's very natural. Why?

Because like I just talked about, it's like he's delivering a conversation over dinner. When you're having a conversation over dinner, you're speaking in a natural rate of speech. It's kind of like you and I are talking now. It's sort of a little bit more natural. It's not a formal PowerPoint presentation. And now turning to slide 28, where it's very slow like about, I think it's about 120 words, but an audio book, and I've read audio books, I've had voice instructors or voice directors in the studio with me when I read the audio book, you're supposed to slow it down a little bit. You're supposed to slow it down because people are only

hearing it through one channel, audio. So it's important to kind of slow it down a little bit, but you don't want to slow it down so much that people lose attention. But you also can't talk this fast. If I'm talking really fast in an audio book, you're not really going to pay attention. You're not going to capture a lot of thoughts. So that's too fast. So 190 words a minute for just a casual, more face-to-face conversation makes complete sense. That's completely sensical. It just makes logical sense, which is why people like Bryan Stevenson speak at about 190 words a minute. Then you get people like Tony Robbins. That's more like 225 words a minute, right? And again, most of us are not Tony Robbins. So I can't talk like this, like,

Tony Robbins, really fast, really fast. If I do that in a presentation, I'm going to look like a phony because I'm trying to be somebody I'm not. but also it's too fast for just a public, for a typical type of presentation that most salespeople would have or something like that. So you got to think about how quickly am I delivering? What's my pace? How many words per minute am I delivering? So I don't think people should get hung up on, okay, now I'm going to pace my time myself, that type of thing, and see how many words. But I do think that it's a pretty good role model. Start looking at people like Bryan Stevenson and realize that the way most of us speak when we're pitching ourselves or delivering a presentation is very stilted and slow and plodding compared to a much more natural and authentic rate of speech. Sure, sure. And the verbal delivery is obviously important, but there's another thing that's

important or could be distracting, which is the body language and the use or lack of use of hand movements and gestures and things like that. And you talk about one, the power sphere and why you should use the power sphere. And can you talk about the importance of that, but also easy fixes for common body language mistakes? Sure. Absolutely. Uh, one of the best examples of strong body language is Colin Powell. And that doesn't surprise me. Colin Powell, he's a great military guy, right? Great military leader. And I find that military leaders are awesome speakers. There's a viral video right now, I think, of an admiral. From Texas, right?

Texas, right. Yeah, it's great. So military commanders are great communicators. So Colin Powell has magnificent body language. It's what I call commanding presence. It's that kind of presence that just draws you in and makes you feel like this guy's in control. I believe to leave somebody breathless, you need to have that courageous vulnerability where you're willing to tell them,

I am struggling with being human and here's how I am dealing with it. And you just share that openness. And I think when we do that with people, if they're ready, they lose their breath for a moment because they go, whoa, I could do that. I could be that vulnerable. And what would my life look like if I was that vulnerable? And it's funny, Gary, by letting people know your weaknesses, they see you as

stronger. It's very counterintuitive. Because when you only lead with your strengths, people don't trust you because everybody's got strengths and we would put them up front. We put our best foot forward. But what about things? They're not really weaknesses, but like they're perceived weaknesses, you know, our shortcomings, our vulnerabilities, our frailties, you know, our fragileness. And when you're willing to say, here's where I'm still working on myself,

people are like, wow, Lewis, I get that and I hear you. But when you just want to share your strengths, people aren't left breathless. They end up kind of not trusting you. So would you say vulnerability is one of the most powerful qualities you can have? I think it's certainly one of the most powerful qualities to help you connect with another person. Because human beings, we really, we want to know what people are really all about so we can trust them. We want to know their agendas.

And when somebody only shows us the strengths and their winnings then we're like but yeah that's a part of who you are but there's more there's your disappointments there's your failures there's your mistakes there's your your your times when you trip fell and hit your head like well show me your boo-boos you know show me your owies your ouchies you know and. And when we're kids, we show people our boo-boos. We go, oh, look at my skinny. Will you kiss it? Look at what I did over here.

Look where I ripped my jeans. But as adults, we get to the point where we're like, oh, well, no, I'm fine. I don't have any scars. But we do. We do have scars. There you have it, my friends. If you enjoyed this episode all about becoming a master speaker and presenter, then please take a screenshot. Share it with your friends on Instagram stories.

Post it on Twitter and Facebook, at Lewis Howes, and let me know what you enjoyed the most about this. You can check out the full show notes at lewishouse.com slash 680. And if this is your first time here, thank you so much for being here. Make sure to click the subscribe button over on the Apple podcast or on iTunes, wherever you are listening to this. Become a subscriber because each week we bring out a new episode on a topic, an idea, bring out a person who is going to help you unlock your inner greatness. And as John Ford said, you can speak well if your tongue can deliver the message of your heart. The mission for me is to help you continue to share your message from your heart to the world.

Come on back, be a subscriber. And as always, you know what time it is. It's time to go out there and do something great Outro Music