The School of Greatness - 80 How to Influence and Inspire People by Mastering the Personality Matrix with Chris Lee

Episode Date: August 6, 2014

"Once you style flex, then you can others into your vision." - Chris Lee Chris Lee is back for his third visit to the School of Greatness to teach all the Greats about the personality matrix and how we can use it to maximize the value in every relationship. Are you a Supporter, Analyzer, Promoter or Controller? Come tell us on the blog: www.lewishowes.com/80

This is episode number 80 with Chris Lee. Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin. Thanks so much for tuning in today, guys.

I am super pumped because I have got a special guest on today, and his name is Chris Lee. That's right. You guys have been requesting him to come back. You said that his two episodes have been two of the most powerful, inspiring, moving episodes that you've listened to on the School of Greatness podcast. So since you requested it,

I'm going to make sure that I listen and deliver on your request. So hopefully you guys enjoy this episode. Make sure to share it out there on social media, on Facebook, on Twitter. Post it everywhere, because this is going to be the most powerful episode that he has of his three so far, in my opinion. And we just had this thing recorded. It is awesome. It's off the charts. If you can master what Chris is going to be talking about in this next 50 to 60 minutes, then you're going

to be able to take your business, your relationships and your life to a whole new level. I'm not kidding on this one. This is some of the most powerful information that I've learned over the years. And when Chris taught me this on a deeper level, I really, it really made sense on why I was able to do what I was doing in the relationships that I had. And this is all about how to influence anyone, how to influence and inspire anyone to move into any type of action. Now, if you can get people to move into action, whether it be in your business and relationships, whatever it may be, obviously in a moral and ethical way, then you're going to be able to get the results that you're looking for on everything.

Again, if you can move people into action, if you can get them to move forward on whatever you are requesting, if you're looking to get more sales, if you're looking to find a wife or a husband, right? If you can connect with people on their level and move them to action, you're going to be able to achieve anything you want. Okay, guys, this is extremely powerful. And it's all about understanding the four different personality types that are out there in the world.

Yes, there's four main personality types. Yes, there's four main personality types. And Chris is going to be covering what those personality types are, how you can see the cues of what people have, and how you can instantly connect with them on their level with which personality type they are. Now, this is, again, some powerful information. You want to use this wisely, and you want to use it from your heart. So you want to connect with people with your heart and understand where they're coming from and connect with them on their level.

Very powerful. So I'm going to basically just let Chris take it away. I'm going to introduce him here in a second when I bring him on. But this, again, is powerful information. I want you guys to share this online on social media with your friends because this is one of my favorite episodes to date. And I think you're going to see why here in just a few moments. So let's go ahead and dive in with the one and only Chris Lee. what is up everyone thanks again for joining me on the school of greatness podcast and you've got a special treat today because we've got my good friend my brother from another mother chris lee back on the show for the third time Lee, back on the show for the third time.

The only person on the show for the third time. Very excited. He's here in my studio. I'm in Santa Monica for the summer, so he is in a new space, but we're very excited about this one. And he's been the most popular guest. He has the most views of the two shows of anyone else lots of people are constantly tweeting and sharing his uh his message every day i feel like i get someone saying something about

one of the podcasts every day i get something and the last two episodes that we did with him was number 36 it was about how to envision and achieve your dreams very powerful episode if you haven't listened to that make sure to go listen to it. There's a really cool guided meditation that he walks us through. And then the most recent one was number 54. I'll have these both linked up in the show notes on the 10 principles of abundance and prosperity,

which is, I think more people listen to that one, I think, or it's about close, right? Very close. But again, lots of people love them both and people have been saying when you get chris back on we want more of chris and the last and that last one is is actually becoming a book yes turning into a book it's become so popular so he's working on that right now it's very cool and uh so i everyone's like when is chris coming back on and i was like well let's get him on soon. So he's back here teaching some workshops,

some leadership workshops. So we got him in. He's a busy guy, but we're pumped to have him on. And this is one that we talked about. I went to Puerto Rico and visited Chris a few months back and we were like, what's the next one going to be about? And this is one that's probably,

it's probably gonna be the biggest episode so far, in my opinion, because it's all about understanding people and relationships and the key to success there's lots of keys to being successful you've got to have hard work dedication commitments you've got to be able to hustle to get what you want lots of different things you got to master your craft but really the key to success that's probably the biggest key is understanding and relating to the different types of people out there and there's lots of different type of people out there. And there's lots of different type of people with different personalities, different backgrounds. And if you only approach

every person one way, then you're only going to be able to connect with a certain type of person. But if you can learn to flex your personality, your communication, and connect in different ways and meet someone where they're at as opposed to where you're at, that's really the key to being successful, I would say. And that's what Chris is here to talk about, which is understanding people. And he's a success coach. He's a life coach. He's a business coach. He teaches people how to get to the next level on all areas of his life, other lives. And it comes down to being understanding relationships. And that's something he's been practicing and coaching and teaching for 27 years is understanding the emotions of people, why people do things, say things, act a certain way

that they do. And again, when you can tap into that understanding, that psychology behind every individual out there, the sky is the limit of what you can create. Again, you want to be authentic and have morals and ethics when you're connecting with people. So it's not about trying to manipulate anyone by understanding where they come from and why they act the way they are, but it's understanding. It's really building a win-win with every relationship. So I'm very excited about this one. I want you to make sure you get out a pen and paper for this. If you're driving, obviously don't do that. But if you're sitting down somewhere, take out a pen and paper

because there's going to be some great notes that you're going to take on this one. And let's go ahead and jump right in it. So Chris, thanks again for being here. I'm excited. I'm very excited to be here. We just took a stroll down Santa Monica Beach and watched a bunch of people work out while we had a coffee. But I'm very excited about this. And let's go ahead and dive into it. There's really four different types. Well, first off,

talk about why it's so important to understand, to build relationships and understand people. And then we'll get into the types of people and personalities that are out there. Okay. So first of all, I want to say hello to everybody that's listening. It's really wonderful to connect with your audience that I feel now is part of my audience. Of course. And I've had the opportunity, the privilege, to get a lot of messages on Twitter and Facebook and Instagram,

just people giving me feedback about how the podcast has impacted their life. And that's why we do this. We do this so that people could have tools to have a successful life, a more impactful life. And one of the things that I find is important and that you've been mentioning earlier is the ability to create relationship with other people.

And if you look at people that are successful and people that impact others and people that move other people, they all have one thing in common. And the thing they have in common is their ability to reach people's heart and the ability to move people. And to me, part of emotional intelligence is knowing myself, knowing my strengths, knowing my weaknesses, but also knowing my audience, knowing my client, knowing my employees, knowing the people that I'm sending a message to and being able to identify what are their needs, what are their strengths, what are their weaknesses. What are their needs? What are their strengths? What are their weaknesses? And by identifying what people need, we end up speaking the same language.

And so a lot of people have a breakdown because their message is one language and people are listening through another filter. And so they're hearing a different language. And it's like we're both speaking English or whatever the language is, but it's just people hear in a different way and process in a different way. And this tool that we're going to bring forward right now in this podcast, I'm very excited because it's something that's helped me be able to impact the maximum number of people. Like you said earlier, if I only, you know, the only tool, like an example, the only tool you have in life is a hammer

everything will start showing up like a nail right and you know that there are a lot of things that a lot of tools necessary to create what we want to create and so this tool is going to help people assist people in reading other people and knowing where they're at and also knowing what they need to access. So it's not about being fake. It's about shifting your way and your approach to reach people. Yeah. Yeah. Cause if you're,

if you're, you know, it's not, everything's not a nail. You know, you need a screwdriver for a screw. If you try to nail a screwdriver and it's going to look all nasty and it's not going to work just like a relationship won't work.

If you're treating each relationship the same. So you need to be able to adjust or take a different tool out to put it in its place. And you can have 100 people listening to you, but you have to speak to different listenings. Yeah. And each person has a personality and a style. And so this, what I'm bringing in this is called the personality matrix, which comes from studies that have been done on different styles of personalities. And obviously there's thousands of styles of personalities, but there's a general consensus that there are four personality types. And what's cool about this podcast is as I describe each personality type, you're going to be able to identify, okay, that's me. Or that's my boyfriend.

Or that's my boyfriend or my boss or my employee. And so what's great is you'll be able to speak their language. Yeah. And it's also every personality type has a strength and a weakness. So it's also a good tool so that you could identify, okay, that's my personality type. That is definitely my strength. And then my weakness is I need to develop that. So learning my personality type, then I could identify my strength and my weakness,

and I could develop my weaknesses and continue with my strengths, but it also allows me to identify other people and speak their language, therefore creating success. And if anyone, we have lots of entrepreneurs and business owners on here, and this is extremely valuable for you specifically because your audience, you're gonna wanna speak your audience language

or your potential customer's language. And if you're just speaking your language, then you're gonna attract the same people back to you. But if you wanna reach a broader audience, you've gotta start speaking a language about everyone and ideally a leader is has access to all four personality types right so if i have if i know that my audience is one personality type mostly that i get to speak in a way that they understand sure and then And then bring them the message. Yeah. Because everybody listens in a different way. Yeah.

And it just allows me to be more effective. Okay, cool. So let's go into it. What are the four personality types? Okay, so let's talk one by one because each one is complex. So the first personality style, and by the way, you may, as you listen to this, you may feel that you fit into one. It's possible you fit into two. It's possible that you have a little more of one than the other, a little less of the other than this one. And also, it could also be depending

on the circumstance. For example, I could be a personality type in bed, or I could be a personality type in bed. Right. Or I could be a personality type at work. Sure. Or I could be a different personality type socially. But there's generally a home base. Right. Okay. So the first personality type I want to talk about is the controller. What's the controller?

The controller is the person that always wants to be right. The controller is the person that likes to be in control of himself. So he's in control, but he wants to be in control of everyone around him. So can you give me some examples of that? Yeah. It's somebody that likes to be the source of all the ideas. So even if it's your idea,

they thought of it. Really? A controller is somebody that is, they're usually a leader. They're very powerful. They're powerful with their conviction. They got a lot of confidence and they think they could get it done

better than anybody else. So a controller, the gift of a controller is that they make things happen. These are the movers, the shakers, the people that do whatever it takes these are the movers the shakers the people that do whatever it takes and the gift of the controller is that a controller is confident

a controller is a leader they take initiative make decisions they make decisions they're all about the result yeah now goal-oriented completely goal-oriented results oriented right so the downside of a controller is that they appear insensitive they appear mean they don't listen they like to be right therefore everyone around them is wrong right ring a bell people so it's that boss that won't listen to feedback won't listen to ideas can't take criticism doesn't take criticism it's that person that likes to be right yeah and they don't listen they as a matter of fact before they'll ask a question but they'll answer it so that's the person that is inflexible so if they have a plan to go to dinner and they want to go to chinese food that's

it it's chinese food period you want to go with them it's got to be chinese wow if you say it's you know i want to eat thai food forget it you're eating alone and a controller is the good news about a controller is that they make things happen they're powerful they make you know take initiative and they usually have results sure the downside is the biggest cost or the biggest price is relationships because who wants to be around somebody who doesn't listen and who's always right and so if you're a controller and if you identify with that well obviously you need to work on your social skills, your relationship skills, your listening skills, et cetera, et cetera. And as I described some of the other personality types, you'll know what you'll need to work on as well. So if you have a controller and you're addressing a controller in terms of managing them or you want to convince them to do something,

you need to speak their language. So if someone's always right, say you're trying to sell me something or you're trying to get me to do something that maybe I'm not convinced I'm doing or buying yet. And you want to speak my language, say I'm the controller and I like it my way, a certain way. Like I have something in my mind that it's got to be that way, how would you speak to me to convert me into buying or coming along a trip? Or investing in your company or whatever. Yeah, so first of all, I've got to be confident. If I show up wishy-washy or wimpy or unsure, it's over.

Then he's not going to trust you he or she's not going to trust you because you know he's going to look at you like you're full of it and he knows more than you and he's right he always knows more than you so you got to be confident you got to be clear you got to show up dressed in a formal way because controllers are formal they're formal and they're dressed and they're dominant wow so they're dominant and they're formal. So you've got to show up formal, and you've got to show up in a, not necessarily over-domineering, but you've got to show up that you're powerful too. So you've got to match their energy.

So mirroring them. Yeah, you've got to match their energy. Yeah. And to convince a controller, you've got to make everything their idea. So you've got to turn the thing into, well, you need to agree with them, and as you're agreeing, you're inputting, you're inputting whatever it is you want them to do.

Like once you have their trust, once you have their attention, then you could convey your message. So almost stroke their ego in a sense stroke their ego but without being stroking it but you know yeah yeah no you you need you need to connect with them at their level yeah you know powerful people like to be around powerful people right and they're not going to put money into someone that shows up wimpy or not sure or unclear. So a controller is someone who's dominant and somebody who is formal.

So you've got to present them in a dominant and formal way. The complete opposite of a controller is the person who's a supporter. And a supporter is somebody who, they're not so concerned about the result. They're more concerned about the feelings. And so they're about feelings. They're about love and acknowledgement and self-worth and respect.

And the supporter, the positive thing about a supporter is that they're loving and they're caring they're the nurturers they're the caretakers they're the people that will give the shirt off their back for other people they put other people first they're always focusing on your needs giving giving giving givers total givers yeah the downside of a supporter is that they show up like a doormat. People take advantage of them. People walk all over them. They don't stand up

for themselves. They don't stand up for themselves. Their voice doesn't count. If you have somebody in your life that's a supporter and you try to dominate them, then they're just going to shrink. They're going to go into their cave and they're not going to come out. They're going to shut down. They're going to go into their cave and they're not going to come out. They're

going to shut down. They're going to feel abused by you. And so if you're a controller and you're in a relationship with a supporter, you got to access love and care and stroke their heart. In other words, they respond to to acknowledgement they respond to love they respond to great job i'm proud of you thank you that you will inspire a supporter that way and they'll be loyal for life so if you're a supporter you got to work on your voice and your courage and your self-confidence and you got to step up yeah and if you're a supporter that needs to motivate a controller then you got to own your power you got to show up confident you got to speak up you can't you know you can't if you're a supporter you can't one of the things that i

talked about is how we put ourselves in a box and we say well that's just kind of how i am and so the idea of these quadrants is not to put yourself in a box. The idea of these quadrants is to identify where you are and to shift. And we have the ability to shift. What does shift mean? It means moving from one space to the other. And if you learn these quadrants and you learn to navigate through these quadrants, you could access the positive gifts of each quadrant therefore becoming successful

right and the greatest leaders probably have access to they're probably a little bit of they have one or two dominant but then they can always access the other two at any time absolutely i mean i'll talk about me you know where i operated from before and because of this work what i do now right so being a supporter that they're feeling oriented. The questions that supporters ask is why, and why is this happening, and they're easygoing, they're informal. So their way of being is casual, easygoing, informal. They go with the flow. So if the controller goes, we're eating Chinese, or the supporter hates Chinese food, oh, I'll find something I like.

It doesn't matter. Very flexible. Super flexible. A supporter, the gift of the supporter, they're the heart of every organization. They're like the best customer support. Totally supportive. They're great encouraging teams, and they're peacemakers.

They avoid conflict. Controllers love conflict. They're like, let's confront this now. Let's see who's right. Right. And so a supporter needs to shift their way of being. So that's the second quadrant, I would say, in terms of. We've got the controller, supporter.

You have the controller and you have the supporter. Which are opposites. Yeah, they're opposites. One is results oriented. The other is feelings oriented. Okay. One is about, okay, what are we creating? And then the supporter is why, which is a non-confrontational question.

Right. And a non-confrontational question right and then non-produce non-results producing question right they're like why is this happening okay so then we go to the other two quadrants and the other quadrant is the promoter and the promoter is the passionate life of the party. They're outrageous. They're all about relationships. If you invite them to the party, they're not going to ask, why are you inviting me or what's going to happen? They want to know who's there.

Who's at the party? And if I like them, I'm there. And if it's fun, I'm in. So promoters are all about being the center of attention. They want to shine and shine bright like a diamond. You know, they want people to remember their name. And, you know, the gift of the promoter is that a promoter is outrageous and passionate and energetic and talkative. You can imagine what quadrant i fall

into i love you know being outrageous and passionate and communicative expressive and i love being in relationships i'm doing things with groups of people and that's my home base speaking in front of audiences i love it you could put me in front of 2 000 people and i'm feeling it yeah and meanwhile you know somebody who's the opposite quadrant you put them in front of 2,000 people and I'm feeling it. And meanwhile, somebody who's the opposite quadrant, you put them in front of 2,000 people and they freeze. So a promoter is relationship driven. A promoter is all about fun and energy. And that's the gift of a promoter.

And so if you want to inspire a promoter, you can't be boring or cold or- It's got to be exciting. It's got to be interesting. You can't be boring or cold or it's got to be exciting it's got to be interesting too soft you got to show up exciting if you're going to sell your idea to a promoter or you want a promoter invest his money his millions of dollars in your business you got to make it exciting got to make it passionate this is the next big thing yeah this is it this is it yeah and uh you And you can't control him, and you can't just be wimpy with him either, because a promoter is actually dominant with their energy.

They're very dominant. They love their ideas, and at the same time, they're easygoing. So they're casual in terms of their approach at life. They're pretty casual. You can see them in a suit. You can see them in flip-flops. A lot of directors approach at life. They're pretty casual. You could see them in a suit. You could see them in flip-flops. A lot of directors are that way. And you've seen these directors,

Hollywood directors that make millions of dollars and they look homeless. They're promoters. They're full of energy. And so a promoter has a lot of energy and the gift of the promoter is the ability to communicate, their ability to express their ability to make people feel good the downside is that they have so many ideas they

don't finish any the lack of focus maybe or the they suffer from addhd yeah permanently right like when the next shiny object comes up they're gone gone. So I'm sure a lot of you can relate to that. All the promoters are like, that's me. And of course, me is one of their favorite words. So a promoter, if you want to inspire a promoter, you've got to be passionate. You've got to show up alive. You've got to show up with energy. And if you want to coach a promoter, you've got to coach them on how to create specific goals and stick to them

because one of the downsides of promoters that they break their word they're so they say yes to everything so they have to break somewhere yeah they probably feel overwhelmed at some point completely overwhelmed i just agreed to everything and right and people get mad at them yeah and they also show up since they're so energetic and passionate they also can show up inauthentic they can show up like phony like actors energetic and passionate, they also can show up inauthentic. They can show up phony, like actors, actresses. There are a lot of people in acting that are promoters. Great energy, but little follow through.

And of course, the opposite of the promoter is the analyzer. The analyzer is somebody who is formal in their way of being, like very strict and structured. Right. You know? But they're easygoing in the sense of that they don't really push through their ideas. So they could ponder on something for a long time. Before they make a decision. Absolutely.

So buying a home could take five years. Exactly. Looking at a hundred homes and analyzing every square footage. Like they'll take a contract and they will dissect it, decipher it. They'll talk to 10 lawyers and then they'll sign. So an analyzer, the gift of the analyzer is detail structure organization notice is what promoters don't have uh their detail structured organize analyzers are their word so they say they're going to do something take it to the bank right but before they give their word they're going to think about it forever a promoter gives their word and thinks later right and says sorry later they can't oh i believe sorry i thought i could make it so an analyzer what's great about an analyzer is they're great with numbers they're great with computers they're

great with structure organization yeah detail oriented the downside of the analyzer probably run a company well they can run the structure absolutely have the spreadsheets all that down to a t yeah and then the downside is they lack passion they lack spontaneity sometimes you need to put a you know a mirror underneath their nose to see if they're breathing because a lot of times they show up dead right there's just no expression life it's like from the neck down not connected wow i'm talking about severe case obviously sure so the gift of the analyzer of course is that they are disciplined they're organized they're structured they could set up systems and they could you know decipher problems and problem solving the downside is by the time they get to it, someone else thought of it and did it.

So if you have an analyzing client, you need to make sure you got the information because not having your information clear is like being caught with your pants down. It's like, got busted. So you got to have the facts, the details. If you're selling an analyzer or a car, you got to have every single detail about that car. You got to have the facts the details if you're selling an analyzer a car you got to have every single detail about that car you got to know your your product you got

to know what you're communicating same thing if you have you know an employee that's an analyzer you got to explain them all the details so that he can finally feel confident and obviously coach him on being passionate and coach him on being spontaneous. So to give an example of that, let's say you're selling a car. If you're selling it to a promoter, you would say, this is the fastest car on the road and you're going to have the best time. It's going to be the talk of the town, the way it looks. You're going to look good in it. You're going to look amazing in it.

You're going to attract everyone. You're going to feel good. People are going to want to ride the car with you. You're going to feel confident. You're going to be amazing in it. You're going to attract everyone. Yeah. You're going to feel good. People are going to want to ride the car with you. You're going to feel confident. You're going to be a superstar. Right. And if you're selling to an analyzer, you're saying. You're going to get X amount of miles per gallon.

And the warranty is amazing. And the structure of it. And look, it's got lithium. And it's got this. And it's got unbelievable lights and steel. Yeah, exactly. And then the air conditioner has all these modules. Right.

And they want to know all the details of the car and how much money they're going to put down and how much they're going to save and how being with you, they're saving money. Sure. All the details. And if it's a supporter. And if it's a supporter. If you're very safe for your family. You're going to be safe. And you're going to be able to carry your entire family

with you in this minivan. Because they all have minivans. Right. Because they want everybody in it. Lots of space. Yeah, lots of space. The groceries, the dog. Yeah.

Yeah, you're going to be able to carry people's luggage and help people. Take people to the airport. Carpool. Exactly. So, I mean, yeah. able to carry people's luggage and help people take people to the airport carpool exactly so i mean yeah and and if it's a controller they got to feel that how it that it's never going to break down so you'll get it's reliable you'll get to work on time and you won't miss days of work yeah yeah interesting and if you're a controller and you have a supporter you need to shift because a controller you are a controller selling no no if you're i'm a controller and i'm selling to a supporter i can't dominate my way through that conversation you got to become nurturing i gotta be soft and

access feelings which controllers hate it's's like icky, mushy. So you've got to be nice and soft and loving and caring. And the same thing in a relationship. Let's take you home. So you're a controller. Your wife's a supporter. If you try to dominate your wife, she's going to feel, before you know it, resentful and she'll leave you. Unloved.

Unloved or she'll feel like a doormat. So if you're a controller and that's your style, you've got to be loving and supportive'll leave you. Unloved. Unloved or she'll feel like a doormat. So if you're a controller and that's your style, you got to be loving and supportive and access that and develop that. If you're a controller and you have a analyzing wife, you got to slow it down. You got to give her the space or give him the space to come up with his own conclusions. And you got to be very clear in your communication about the plan, like you're going on vacation. It can't be, you can't wing it because they won't feel safe. Right.

Promoters wing it. Right. You know, if you're a controller and you've got a promoter, you got to access the passion. So each quadrant has its pros and its cons. And I think it's important for each one of you that are listening to identify, okay, which is my home base? What is my strength? What is my weakness? And by knowing your strength, you know what you could count on.

And by identifying your weaknesses, you could develop it. Sure. And then you could do what's called style flexing. And style flexing is reading and identifying your audience, whether it's relationship, business, whether it's community, whatever it is. Look at your audience and see what's wanted and needed. And by shifting, so let's say I'm a supporter and I've got a controlling audience i

gotta up the power sure or if i'm an analyzer i have a promoting audience i gotta access passion yeah which to me is foreign right so i got scary it's like you know your belief systems are going off and so when you hold yourself in a box well no it's just that's how i am i'm an analyzer and i've always been that way well that's being a victim of whatever your comfort zone is because we all have our comfort zones and we all have our home base yeah interesting now how does someone determine what they're like well i'm a little bit of all that or i'm not really sure which one i am how do they determine what they are is there like a formal test they can take is there something to determine they're dominant well i think that in the description as you're

listening to the description you'll know what rings you ring you know what rings true yeah you know if you know if you show up like a controller and you'd like to be a control you like to have results and you kind of sometimes bypass people's feelings and you know if you're all about putting everybody first and you're all about feelings and you're a supporter and you know that if you analyze everything to death and you suffer sometimes from analysis paralysis okay and you also know if you're this spontaneous burst of energy right you know you're you're a flying unicorn in the air what's and so'm answering your question. I want to say that there's also different moments. For example, maybe at home, I'm a supporter and at work, I'm a controller. Maybe in my community, I'm an analyzer or in public i'm one way so there's different roles that we play

and they fall into that right and so it depends on the situation some people are the same everywhere some people shift some people have needed to develop a certain part that they weren't before for example maybe you've been a supporter your whole life but now you run a fortune 500 company and you need to access controller and you learn through the school of hard knocks you had a you got you had to up up the velocity in terms of who you're showing up as right and also there are people that have a little bit of two quadrants or three quadrants. For example, myself, when I was younger, I was promoter with promoter. There was not an ounce of anything else in me.

I was just all about having fun. And I didn't care. I was late to everything. I didn't care what people thought. I didn't care about my appearance. I was casual, but I was always about having fun and having a good time. And if it wasn't fun, I wouldn't do it.

And the problem with that is that my feelings absolutely controlled me. So when I was having fun, I was feeling it, I would do it. And when I didn't feel it, I quit. So, of course, I was Mr. Start, everything, never finish. So I was a total promoter. As I developed myself in the transformational journey i've been on since i started doing these workshops that you've also done i have learned to take the best of that which is the energy and the passion and i've developed a more responsible detail-oriented focused person

in me which is the analyzer right and so in different moments of my life, I access different things. But if you were to ask me right now, what's my home base? I'd say promoter with controller because of my business, I have to be in charge. I gotta take the lead. And so I'm a little bit of promoter with controller.

Yeah. And there are people that feel that they're controller with analyzer and there's people that are analyzer with controller yeah and there are people that feel that their controller with analyzer and there's people that are analyzer with controller or maybe you feel that you're a supporter with promoter but it's very rare that you're a controller with supporter right yeah it's like as a home base doesn't mean that you're not that way in different areas sure As a home base. Doesn't mean that you're not that way in different areas.

Sure. So as you identify the quadrant, then you're able to move people and to make an impact. Yeah. So just ask yourself, of the four quadrants, which is the one that you find is most you? So I want to just ask you directly, Lewis, of all that I've described which one do you feel like it's your home base doesn't mean you don't access all the other ones because

i know you do i've seen you you access all of it it's definitely promoter i'd say promoter controller um okay so promoter meaning that you have a lot of energy a lot of passion you want to do a million things yeah and i'm a marketer like by nature my business it's like promoting my business my events getting the word out what's the downside that you've had to work through definitely like feeling overwhelmed sometimes because i commit to too many projects it's like everything is fun and exciting like a great idea let's do it all but like oh i'm dropping the ball on a few of these things or they're not where I want them to be so I might feel overwhelmed. Or getting the structure in place for each exciting idea

and tapping into that organized structure part of me. So sometimes that happens. And which quadrant would you say is the more difficult or the more challenging quadrant for you to relate to? Like when you have a group of people like that, it's like, it's stretch. Yeah, I mean, I would say the more challenging quadrant for you to relate to like when you have a group of people like that it's like it's stretch yeah i mean i would say the most challenging i feel like i've worked a lot on it and been able to tap into a lot of these but i'd say the hardest is the analyzer just because they're like an extreme analyzer it's like where's the energy they don't

they don't mirror the passion when i bring it. So you're all passionate and excited, and they're looking at you confused like you're from Mars. Exactly. And so I think it's meeting them where they're at, mirroring an analyzer. I feel like I'm looking at my mirror. That's my biggest challenge, too. I'm a promoter. Promoter, promoter with controller. And the biggest challenge for me is analyzer.

And because I use these quadrants. The supporter is easy, I think. I can be very supportive. Yeah, yeah. For you. Yeah, for me is analyzer. And because I use these quadrants. The supporter is easy, I think. Like I can be very supportive. Yeah, yeah. For you. For me. But going back to using the quadrants. So because of these quadrants and I've learned these quadrants, I've been able to slow it down.

Be more detail oriented. Be more visual. Analyzers are also visual. be more visual right analyzers are also visual so promoters are more about you know communication and listening and hearing and feeling feelings analyzer is more about logic yeah so i've been able to develop you know more of a structured approach to what i do so that people could identify to that and that way i don't lose my my analyzing people that are in that quadrant. And so the idea of this podcast is that you identify which is your quadrant and develop the quadrants that are challenging for you. So how would someone develop their non-dominant quadrants?

Obviously you said first step is really being aware of what you are, I think. So if you're a promoter or a controller or a supporter analyzer, being aware of that. And then how would you start tapping into and practicing the other ones? What are some things you could do, some things you could think about? So for example, if you have a hard time being passionate and expressive, then you could start doing things that are passionate. For example, let's say promoters love to dance. Oh, yes. I love to dance.

I know you do. So do you. So do I. It's like dance, I'm in. So for an analyzer, one of the things that I could invite an analyzer to do is to find a place to go dancing. Oh, that's true. And dance like nobody's watching. Wow.

And just give yourself permission that the music move through you. And as your analyzing brain is saying, I look stupid, just know that that's a belief that you're making up and you get to challenge it. Because who cares how you look?

It's about accessing passion. An analyzer could practice communicating with passion. An analyzer could be more expressive, can also surround himself with a promoter that could coach him. Because remember, one of the ways that we develop ourselves is finding a mentor that is doing what we want to do. For example, you want to have a successful business, then you want to surround yourself with people who have successful businesses.

Hire a business coach. Hire a business coach. So an analyzer could access that in terms of looking for people that are passionate and have that skill and that ability. And the same thing with a promoter. How could a promoter develop his organizational skills by finding somebody who's organized? It's sometimes painful for me to be around so many analyzers or to even think about organization,

like structuring things and charting it all down. It just hurts my brain sometimes. Well, the more practice that you have at that, the easier it becomes. It becomes part of your comfort zone. Sure, sure. So it's a question of practicing. It's a question of doing the task

and having somebody that is already an expert at that working with you. That's what I was just going to say. If you're not an analyzer, definitely hire an analyzer in your business to do those things for you. Because I don't recommend being all those things in your business. I personally recommend focusing on the thing you're great at, hiring people around you to support the company with the things you're not great at, but obviously understanding how to tap into.

If somebody that's listening can't hire somebody. True. Then you have to let them do it. Yeah. I mean, we can't all just hire people. That's true.'t hire somebody. True. Then you're going to have to let them do it. Yeah. I mean, we can't all just hire people. That's true. We're not like you. Some of us actually, you know. That's true.

That's true. No, I understand that. Don't have that on our payroll. But if you do, you definitely will not be able to understand. I think that anybody that is successful, part of what's going to have them be successful is find people that are good at what they do. Of course. And surround yourself with them.

I now have an accountant. I don't do numbers, so I have an accountant. I've accessed the analyzer in me by organizing myself to such a degree that I even hired an accountant. That used to be not on my radar. So the whole point of this is that if you find that you're strong in one area and you have weaknesses in the other, you got to do things that represent that. For example, if you're a controller and you're used to being in charge and you're used to doing things your way, stretch and let other people contribute to you. Practice listening.

Do listening exercises. Connect with somebody who's a supporter that expresses how they feel. Talk about your feelings. Do things that are uncomfortable. None of these things are impossible. All these things are completely accessible to all of us. It's a question of a choice. A controller could choose to write a love note to his wife

if he chooses to wow and open his heart and actually practice being loving you know or actually a controller could actually have a meeting with his employees and just do an acknowledgement meeting i just want to acknowledge you guys i want to thank you for the hard work do you have any idea? Controller. Wow, that'd be powerful. To do that with his employees. Think about how far that will go.

Wow. And if you're a supporter boss and you have a hard time expressing your feelings and you want to make a stand and you want to confront something, then you need to practice speaking up, speaking louder, speaking clearer, and do those kind of exercises that access another part of you. Yeah. Interesting. Yeah. And it's not necessarily supposed to be easy. It can be easy once you develop the skills, but it's called a stretch for a reason, I guess. It's going to be challenging to get out of your comfort zone and start tapping into these other personality types. So definitely don't beat yourself up

if you're not able to do this right away. It's going to take time. Well, the first step is to be aware. You're a promoter and your girlfriend's an analyzer. Don't just say, hey, we're going to go wherever. You got to be clear about where you're going and make sure it works for her. And then once you're speaking, another thing I want to say, it doesn't mean to squash your quadrant. So once you have the controller's attention, then you can be passionate.

Then you can be outrageous. But if you go into a controller, let's say you want to sell something to a controller and you're like hi how are you doing oh my god and you're out of your body the controller will look at you like you're an alien so you gotta be more reserved excuse me sir do you have a few minutes right i don't want to bother you but this is very important you know you gotta it you got to speak on their terms right once you have the attention of somebody once then you can get passionate once you style flexed then you could bring them into your vision interesting so a supporter once they're confident and they show up powerful for the controller then the supporter could bring their heart in there interesting because at the end of the day we're all the same exactly yeah we just have we just have different

masks on and these are different masks controller has that mask but underneath it they want the same thing we all do which is to love and be loved it's true at the end of the day it's true so i want to give you guys uh you know Well, I guess it's not a challenge, but I want you to post in the comments section. Wherever you're listening to this, go back to the show notes over at lewishouse.com. I'll give you the specific link at the end of this podcast. Go back there. In the comments section, I want you to post what your dominant quadrant is. So promoter, controller, supporter, analyzer.

You've probably got enough information now from what chris has been talking about go in the comment section post what your dominant one is if you have two they maybe post uh the two and what else should they should they say in that should they say what the greatest benefit is for them for being that or what's been holding them back for being that yeah they could say what what the benefit is of that quadrant and what their challenge is there you go so my benefit is that i'm able to connect with people i'm able to relate to people my challenge is that i don't follow through right and also i think it'd be interesting to hear what is what quadrant is the biggest challenge because one of the biggest complaints that i get in my seminars is if my husband would only change, if my boss would only change, if the teachers would only change.

And a leader is not concerned about other people changing. A leader is concerned about reaching people where they're at. Wow, that's interesting. about reaching people where they're at. Wow, that's interesting. And if I reach people where they're at and I access all of the quadrants, whatever is wanted and needed, you want to be a Jedi master of the quadrants.

Wow. Promoter, here it is. Analyzer, here it is. Supporter, here it is. Controller, here it is. You've got to be able to access whatever is wanted and needed this is interesting that you just said this you know just because so many people talk about their relationship

their romantic relationship as if their boyfriend or girlfriend has a problem or that they only if they could only change just like you said if they would only do this differently or this differently but really it comes down to yourself being able to adapt to what they're doing so that you can connect better right absolutely if you're in a relationship and you're not relating to each other then there's a wall in your relationship and the only way to tear down the wall is somebody needs to move and that person is you if you're the leader if you choose to be a leader in your life now someone needs to lead the way and obviously it'd be great if both uh parties in the relationship understood these principles so that they could

both adapt when one person may not be on or be in their head the other person can style flex with but you know what? There's a pitfall to what you just said. Because if we're still waiting for the other person, then it's never going to work. So I believe in leading by example. Right. So for example, I'm a controller. And as a controller, I'm sorry is not part of my vocabulary.

Right. Because I'm sorry means... As a promoter or a controller, I'm sorry is not part of my vocabulary. Right. Because I'm sorry means... As a promoter or a controller? Controller. Yeah, because I'm always right. Yeah, I just said that. Controller doesn't say I'm sorry. Sure.

So let's say I'm a controller and I'm with a controller girlfriend. So controller, controller, and no one's sorry. What's going to happen? A lot of conflict explosion explosion it's called drama i don't know if you've had that in your relationship it's called drama and so the only way that something's going to be different is if one of you and hopefully the person listening to this podcast that has the tool, takes the first step and go, you know what?

I blew it. I'm sorry. An access supporter. And what happens when you do that? You know what? I find that when you lead by example, people follow. But it's really hard for control. And I've seen that happen.

It's really hard for a controller to do that, though. To own up to their breakdown. Right? Absolutely. Wow. But that's what a leader a controller. And I've seen that happen. It's really hard for a controller to do that, though. To own up to their breakdown. Right? Absolutely. Wow. But that's what a leader does. A leader does. So if you're in a relationship and you're a controller and you're with somebody else

that's either a supporter, controller, analyzing, or promoter, you've got to be willing to lead the way. Wow. So it's all about shifting. It's all about getting myself out of the box. And I think that part of what we grew up with is the need of certainty. This is who I am. This is who you are.

Now we know who we are. And I think that that's a mistake because it's limiting. And when I hold myself in a box called, well, that's just the way I am, then I have no possibility for anything different to happen that's just the way i am then i have no possibility for anything different that's the way i am or that's the way things are oh that's just how my mom is you know it's amazing i'll share something i went through this training and these seminars and this coaching that i'm providing here and my mom transformed and my mom didn't go through it right yet she did later and what's amazing was that my mom didn't need to yeah because the box i had my mom in called

well that's the way she is never allowed me to connect with her and so my mom transformed as a result of my transformation. What happened was that I spoke to her on her terms. Once I was able to bridge that gap, then our relationship got better. Wow. Interesting. So my mom is controller with controller. Yeah. And I grew up being a promoter with promoters. So you can imagine me breaking my word, never bringing the car back on time, never returning phone calls. You know, just never, you know, just, you know, my mom being a controller would be upside down about that. Right.

And so instead of waiting for my mom to change, one thing I realized was I need to be the change I want to see in others. Didn't Gandhi say that? Yeah. Be the change i want to see in others then gandhi say that yeah be the change you want to see in others so i started showing up responsible keeping my word confident with my mom and from that point our relationship shift she started to see you in a different way and connect with you in a different way because in her idea controller is responsible. Yeah. So all of the responsible. In their word and on time and all those things, yeah.

Yeah. And so it's all about you shifting your characterization of yourself and others. Right. Very powerful stuff. Now, there's a lot of different personality tests out there, right? What's this one called? Is there a specific name for this? It's called the personality matrix. And there's like Myers-Brbriggs there's a few other ones there's a lot of there's

some that are that that have to do with you know um emotions and and processing there's neurolinguistic programming there's a lot of different personality types i mean uh tests but this is something that that when i heard, it kind of rang true for me. It made sense, yeah. And it was easy. It's easy to duplicate. Yeah. I did the Myers-Briggs once, but I always forget what I am.

It's like, I don't know. I always forget it. But this is simple for me. I'm a promoter slash controller. Right. And I can tap into the other stuff. But it's like I understand it. And also, like I said, it depends on the situation.

Sure. Sometimes you're, you know, I've seen powerhouses at work become, you know, these supporters at home. Soft puppy dogs. Over their children. And that's not good either. I mean, you've got to be able to access. Ideally, you want to be smack in the middle of the four quadrants. And have what's wanted and needed given the situation right so like in persuasion when you want to persuade somebody to do something

a controller process is very different than a supporter and a supporter process is different than an analyzer an analyzer process is different than a promoter and a promoter you know process different than a controller and so if you promoter process is different than a controller. And so if you're going to persuade, like you were talking about the car, persuade a promoter, you've got to connect with their energy and their passion. Whether it's persuade them on a business team or in a relationship or to sell them something. And I think a lot of us are in sales of some sort. Of course, always.

And so to enroll which is a word i like to use when you want to enroll you know the key to success is building relationship yeah so if i'm the leader it's up to me to build a relationship with a promoter and if i go up to a promoter all analytical and detail oriented they're not going to be enrolled their add won't be able to handle it. They'll be bored. They'll be on their phone. They'll be looking at this.

And you could have the best product analyzer. You could have every guarantee in the world. But even if you give it away for free, the promoter's not buying it. Bored. Yeah. So if you're going to enroll a promoter, you got to be passionate, excited, and outrageous.

And you got to practice that. And so that's what's going to work with a promoter. Sure, sure. Once you speak their language, then you could give them all the details and you could give them all of the other things that go along with your own personality. Sure.

But you got to shift that. If you're going to persuade or motivate or inspire a promoter, you got to make it fun for them. So you gotta give them, and since their downside is breaking their word, you gotta give them short projects. Sure. It's gotta be a short leash.

It's not gonna take a year, it's gonna take a week. No, no, no, because in a week or a day or two days or you gotta give them short-term goals. Sure, yeah. And analyzers are the opposite. They love long-term goals with benchmarks. Sure, yeah. An analyzer is the opposite. They love long-term goals with benchmarks.

Five-year plan. You know, the plans. And so if you're going to inspire and convince an analyzer, you've got to give them all of the facts. More data, better. Yeah, yeah. You know, the information. If you're going to inspire, motivate, and persuade a supporter,

you've got to connect with their heart. Sure. If they fall in love with you, they're buying everything. Right. Over and over. Absolutely. You know, you look pretty, nice dress. I mean, beautiful day.

I love this. And it's got to be real. You can't be full of it. But when they feel that you're building your relationship skills with them then then they're in i love it and saying they were the controller you want to persuade a controller you got to show up powerful and confident and you need to show up credible you know it's got to be clear it's got to be to the point and it's got to be results right right well we've been almost going for an hour and it feels like 10 minutes. Really? It's crazy.

No way. I swear, yeah. I could go on for another hour. I know. I could listen to this and talk about this stuff and dissect it forever. But I want to make sure that people take this and run with it and I want you guys to go back to the site. I'm going to give you the show note link here in a second. But make sure to go

back, leave a comment on this post on lewishouse.com and tell us what quadrants you're in. We'll have them listed on the show notes so you can refer back to it. How that's been beneficial for you and what was the other thing?

Which one is challenging for you? Which one is challenging for you to tap into? So those three things we want you to post in the comments section. Also, you can just tweet at Chris Motivador. I'll have it linked on the show notes as well. You can tell them which one you are. Go ahead. I also have a little trick, like a little tool that you can use so that you know what's missing in any given moment. Are you in? Let's do it. All right. So all you need to do is write down these four things. Number one, outrageousness.

Write down that word, outrageousness. We'll put it in the show notes. Number two, vulnerability. Number three, keep your word. Keep your word keep your word and number four I matter okay what was the first one again

outrageous outrageousness vulnerability vulnerability keep your word keep your word I matter I matter okay I matter.

Okay, cool. So the first one, outrageousness is for the? Promoter. The analyzer. For the analyzer to be outrageous. So in any given moment you're having a breakdown in your life,

look at that list and you'll know which one you need to provide. Right. And think about being outrageous. So if I'm in a breakdown, I'm looking, okay, I need outrageousness in this moment. That's what theyness in this moment got you okay so the analyzer needs that reminder so outrageousness yeah the second one is vulnerability and that's for the controller yeah so if you find yourself

locking horns with somebody and you look at that uh let me be vulnerable okay keep your word would be for the promoter the promoter so there's a breakdown the promoter it's usually around their word keeping their word so a promoter needs that little reminder okay and then the fourth one is i matter and that would be the supporter wow because the supporter forgets their own value their worth yes powerful stuff well as always ch, this is amazing and I think this is probably the best one out of all three so far. You always say that.

Who knows? You're a promoter. You always say that. Everyone's the best one. I feel the same way. This is great though. I mean, they're all powerful

but if you haven't listened to the first two, go back and listen to those. I also would like feedback on how you've, not only which one you are and which one's challenging for you but I'd like feedback on my Twitter, Arova or at Chris Motivador and also Lewis Howes on his Twitter on how you apply this and the results. And your relationships.

Yeah, like, wow, Chris, I applied this with my wife and it's amazing. I shifted. I started reading poetry to her and it changed my relationship. Yeah. You know, little things like that. Little details make the difference. I like to hear about that.

Yeah. Interesting. Yeah. Maybe go today or tonight, whenever you're listening to this, do something differently, tap into something differently or make a list of the things you could do. Yes.

That are at a character. Yeah. And try, uh, tapping into it with one person, someone that matters to you most in your life, maybe the most important relationship, a spouse or a boyfriend or girlfriend.

And even if your relationship is already great, tap into that one thing that you know will connect with them on an emotional level or a level that reaches their quadrant and see what happens and share with us the results. Beautiful. Either on Twitter, in the comments section, anywhere. But again.

Facebook. I also have a fan page, Chris Lee Motivational Trainer. Chris Lee Motivational Trainer. On Facebook. We'll have it all linked up. Chris, thanks so much. This is incredible, great information, valuable information. Let's go into,

I've already asked you this twice now, but the third time, since it's the question I ask everyone at the end, which is, what's your definition of greatness? So maybe pertaining around this in terms of relationships, what's your definition of greatness? Reinvention.

Perfect. Awesome. Well, thanks again, everyone, for coming on and uh chris thank you for your wisdom thank you it's been great like always yes wow wow wow. I hope you guys enjoyed this episode on the four different personality types to connect with and how to influence and inspire anyone to move into action.

Again, if you enjoyed this episode, please share it with your friends over on Facebook, on Twitter. Post a picture on Instagram where you are listening to this episode. Make sure to tag Chris and go back to the show notes over at lewishouse.com slash 80 to get all the information, all the notes, and all the stuff that we talked about in this episode, lewishouse.com slash 80. And thanks, you guys, so much for subscribing on iTunes. I see a lot of people subscribing lately, a lot of people leaving reviews. That helps the rankings on iTunes and it gets the message out there, gets the

podcast out there to more people. So if you haven't subscribed yet, please subscribe today and leave a review. I would love to see the reviews you guys have and let me know that you subscribed. Just shoot me a tweet over at Lewis Howes on Twitter. Thanks again, guys, so much for tuning in. I appreciate you for being loyal and avid listeners of the show and ambassadors of the School of Greatness. You guys know what time it is. It's time to go out there and do something great. re-invention perfect