The School of Greatness - 847 Unleash Your Untapped Potential with Marie Forleo

Episode Date: September 9, 2019

DO THINGS DIFFERENTLY. We all face a lot of pressure from the world. We’re constantly comparing ourselves to others on social media and getting critiques from friends and family. Whether it’s when to have kids, our relationship choices, or a nontraditional career, it’s hard to step outside the box. We might feel judged. We might feel alone. And it might be scary to wander into new territory. So how can we stay true to what WE want? On today’s episode of The School of Greatness, I talk to an inspirational woman changing the world on her terms: Marie Forleo. Marie Forleo is a life coach, motivational speaker, author and host of Marie TV. She is the owner of Marie Forleo International, B-School and MarieTV, and Oprah named Marie a thought leader for the next generation. Marie is passionate about spreading her message that you can figure out the problems in your life. She shares three simple steps to avoid getting overwhelmed and feeling helpless. So get ready to learn how life is “figureoutable” on Episode 847. Some Questions I Ask: What’s been the greatest lesson in the last 10 years? (6:00) What are the things you think you’re not doing well in business? (24:00) Are you open to the idea of marriage? (35:00) Where would you be if you were single for the last 10 years? (38:00) Where do you have the least amount of confidence? (48:30) What are the 3-5 things you do every day or most days? (1:00:00) In This Episode You Will Learn: How work ethic can be a bad thing (13:00) How Marie sets non-negotiable “adventure time” with her husband (16:00) The importance of downtime at home and in your job (20:00) About Marie’s decision to not have kids (27:00) Why you should trust your timing (42:00) The three rules for understanding “everything is figureoutable” (1:18:00) If you enjoyed this episode, check out the video, show notes and more at http://www.lewishowes.com/847 and follow at instagram.com/lewishowes

This is episode number 847 with Marie Forleo. Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, a former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin. Charles Schultz said, there is no heavier burden than an unfulfilled potential. Ah,

potential is something we talk about all the time. It's something we all have and we can never truly reach. We can always grow into our potential, but then there's more untapped potential. So that's why life is a constant growing learning experience. And I'm so excited to dive into this topic with Marie Forleo, who has been a friend of mine for a long time. She's an entrepreneur, writer, and philanthropist who has created a socially conscious digital empire that touches millions. She's got an award-winning show, MarieTV, world-class online training programs, and has helped people dream big and take meaningful action to create results. She has been invited by Sir Richard Branson, mentor young entrepreneurs

at his Center for Entrepreneurship in South Africa. She was featured as a thought leader on Oprah's Super Soul Sunday and was interviewed by Tony Robbins as part of this new Money Masters DVD training program. She's got a new book out, Everything is Figureoutable. It's out right now, so make sure you check the book out, Everything is Figureoutable. In this interview, we talk about the non-negotiable ways Marie has scaled back work, both personally and in the company, to refresh relationships and boost creativity. How many people work in fear and are therefore disengaged from their work.

Why having real, honest conversations with your partner is incredibly important to sustain the relationship. How to tap into your unused wisdom and talents and the powerful lesson Marie learned from her father about taking care of people. Super excited about this. Make sure to share it with a friend. Text a friend today who you think might be interested in this episode.

Be a hero in someone's life, post it on social media, tag me and at Marie Forleo as well. I'm sure she'd love to hear your thoughts about what you learned in this interview. Welcome back, everyone, to the School of Greatness podcast. We've got the inspiring Marie Forleo in the house. Pumped that you are here. Yay. Very excited. I think I had you on maybe three years ago, I think. I think it might have been longer than that. Three, three and a half, four years in New York. Yeah.

We've known each other for so long. Thank you, by the way, for having me on. I think I've known you for a decade. Yes. 2010, 2009, somewhere around there. Yes. When I moved to New York, I think I met you pretty quickly after that. I remember some of your earlier apartments.

Remember we would do mastermind meetings? We'd have all these meals. I remember you and I had some great meals together at Aria. Aria. Remember the little Italian place in the West Village? Do we do that at Solo or do we do that with the group? No, I mean mastermind group we've done like Japanese places, but you and I would go and we'd just like dig into all these.

Yes. That was fun. That's amazing. Good times. Ten years. Crazy. It seems to me like so much has happened, but it's gone by so fast in ten years for both of us. What's the biggest lesson you've learned in the last decade for you?

That things, first of all, keep getting better. keep getting better. I think in our society, especially as for at least two, you know, as you get older, at least in my family, there was a lot of kind of cultural expectations like, oh, over this age, it kind of starts going down or, you know what I mean? You're kind of, you peak when you're young and that's when all the good stuff happens. And for me, I feel like it keeps getting better. And I love that the best years are still ahead of me and that all the stuff that I've been through, there's like all of these exciting new possibilities. So that's one of the biggest lessons. And I think the other one is that I don't have to stress as hard. As a human being, I have a really strong work ethic, but I also tend to put a lot of pressure on myself.

And the other lesson I've learned is that I don't need to do that, that the work actually gets done more joyfully and more creatively if I don't add on that additional layer of pressure and stress. Why do you pressure yourself? I have really high expectations. I want to take care of my team. I want to take care of my family. I want to do right by my customers. Like with this book, I wanted to do right by my customers. Like with this book, I wanted to do right by my publishing partners. And I always feel a sense of responsibility to make sure that

I'm taking care of people. And embedded in that, I have historically put a ton of pressure on myself to make sure that the buck stops with me. But I think recently, it's been really great to see how awesome it is to collaborate with people who are like, girl, I got this. Like, you're good. You go do your thing. I'll do my thing and we'll create something together that's magic. And I've been like, this is amazing. Don't stress about it. Yeah. Yeah. What's been the biggest challenge in the last 10 years? I think the biggest challenge for me in the past decade, that's a good question. You started MarieTV, what, eight, nine years ago?

Eight years ago? Yeah. So to put this all in context, so I've been doing what I've been doing for 20 years now. Yeah. So creating free content via email, back starting in like 2000, 2001, which seems like insane. Then blogging. And then I got Kuma in 2009. Kuma's my dog, my toy, Australian Shepherd. Sweet little dog.

He's a sweet little pup. And here's the thing. When we first got him as a puppy and I was training him along with Josh, I didn't have time to write as many- You trained Josh? No. Training Kuma along with Josh. Josh knew what he was doing. I was just like, what do I do with a puppy? I didn't have as much time to write blog posts. And so I just started opening my webcam on my MacBook Pro and talking right into the camera. I remember those early videos. Yeah, they're still on the site. And so MarieTV was actually started not because I had some big vision for like a show that I wanted to do.

It was actually because I didn't have much time because I had a really cute new puppy. And I needed to get consistent content out. And I felt felt much more comfortable and it was faster to talk into my webcam than it was to construct a blog post. So that's how MarieTV started back in like 2009 slash 2010. It's been almost 10 years. It'll be 10 years. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. So I think one of the challenges of the past decade has just been to continue to stay really present with all of the work while continuing to grow the company. Like making sure that folks on the team have the support that they need. Making sure that we're attracting the right talent, people that have the right skills, the right culture fit. And just keeping all those plates in the air.

And then, of course, still having a life and making sure my relationship stays on track. How do you stay on track with a connected, loving relationship as a female entrepreneur when you're putting so much energy into your business and the culture and the team and your customers? I made so many mistakes. I mean, let's just be real. I talk about this and I've told this story. I worked so hard to get my business off the ground

and I was often working seven days a week, not just coaching. That was a portion of what I did, but to keep a roof over my head, it was bartending, it was waiting tables, it was being a personal assistant, cleaning people's toilets, whatever I needed to do in order to pay my rent, put food on the table, and actually continue to grow the business.

So I basically developed a habit of working nonstop. Before MarieTV. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like getting the business off the ground. I worked side gigs. You were like a fitness coach. You did like dance instructions.

You did everything. I was a Nike elite dance athlete. I taught anywhere from like three to seven classes a week at Crunch Fitness. Some of them were choreographed. Some of them were basic fitness. I had the coaching clients. I was doing the content, and I was bartending and waiting tables. So I had developed this habit of nonstop work because that was what was necessary at that time. New York. Yes. But as Josh and I got together, and eventually when I let go of the bartending and the waiting tables and even the dance and fitness as a revenue stream, I didn't let go of the habit of working nonstop.

And that created some real problems in the relationship where it was to the point that him and I had been together for seven years and never taken a vacation together. Wow. seven years and never taken a vacation together. We had traveled because either he had something for his work or I had something for my work, but it was always work related. So it wasn't actual just together time, just him and I. And our relationship was almost over. He was kind of done with me. Wow. Because you were just, I want to work. I got to build my business. You don't understand me. This is my dream. I was operating, too, out of a lot of scarcity and a lot of just habit, like feeling like if I didn't work constantly that it was all going to fall apart. And so there were other things mixed in there as well.

There were other layers of just life pressures from all these different ends. But that was like a definite, a critical piece. He had a son. Oh, yeah. So my stepson, Zane, came into my life when he was seven. So the year that Josh and I kind of, you know, one of the times, we've had many bumps along the road. We've been together for 16 years. Any couple that's been together that long, it's not all unicorns and rainbows.

No, absolutely not. Relationships are so difficult. No, absolutely not. Relationships are so difficult. But at that particular juncture, Zane was going off to college, which that was a really big thing in terms of Josh processing that. You know, having your kid go off after you've raised them and then me working all the time. There was this confluence of stressors that put us in couples therapy. And I had to really change a lot about how I was living, what I was believing, and really putting things back into perspective, which saved our relationship. What were you believing?

Well, I was believing that if I didn't work constantly, that I wasn't a worthy person, that I wasn't doing enough to make my business successful, that I was perhaps letting people down. And so I had to really shift that and understand that, you know, I come from a background, I don't come from a wealthy background. So the work ethic in my nuclear family is very strong. Like my dad owned a small business. My mom, although she stayed home with us, she was constantly doing stuff, constantly working, constantly fixing things, constantly working, constantly fixing things, constantly doing things that took care of the family. So that's the kind of DNA I grew up with was like, no, if something needs to get done, you get it done. It's not like you sit around all day and eating bonbons and watching TV. So yeah, so that's kind of how I got there. But then I

really, I had to readjust if I actually wanted to not only have a successful business but have a successful life. Yeah. How old were you when you came to this realization that, like, okay, I can take a day off a week or I can take two weeks and go to Italy? Yes, yes, yes, yes. So that was probably – I may not get the dates right because time gets warped for me. time gets warped for me. But that was, I would say, well over like a decade ago where I started making some changes and then really starting to see also how much more creative and productive I was when I scaled back a little bit. And that was a really powerful realization because I think often, and I understand this, and I think it's important to contextualize this because at

different stages of our life and at different stages of our creative process, we need to work in different rhythms. Often when you're getting something off the ground, it's kind of like a rocket ship leaving the atmosphere. It takes a lot of inertia to break free from gravity to get into that upper stratosphere. So there's a lot of work required in the beginning, but then you have to adjust as you move on. And I just needed to learn that lesson. Because you were just in launch mode all the time. Correct. We got to launch, launch, launch, launch. I mean, not launching things, but the idea and the energy behind go, go, go. Correct. Yep. So yeah, I think about a decade ago is when I really started making some good changes and putting boundaries and bumpers in place for myself.

And what that means was that at the top of the year, what we do in terms of relationship, and even for the company, we do the same thing. So there's two points I want to make here. In terms of my personal relationship, Josh and I look at the calendar at the top of the year, and we set non-negotiable adventure time. So my favorite place to go is Italy. That's my happy place. And we don't always have to go there, but it's just been a habit for the past four or five years. And we set two weeks in the calendar where it's like, he doesn't accept work. I tell the team, this is the time we're going to be away. No matter what's going on, we're just offline that's it and then

there's other kind of smaller adventures that we plan like adventures with friends where you know have a bunch of friends up for a couple of days around a birthday or around a holiday and like put these bumpers in place so that both him and I know that there are these solid connection moments throughout the year that no matter how busy everything else gets, that we have these things to look forward to. And that's been a game changer. Wow. And then in the company, I don't know if I've ever told you this story, but one day I was in New York and I was having like a really bad PMS craving for carbs. I was just like, I was like,

mama needs some carbs. And I was feeling like a croissant. And there was this great little French bakery around the corner that I had never been to. And I'm like, I'm going to go get my croissant right now. So I roll up to this little French bakery. And on the window, there was like this handmade sign that said, you know, offer vacation back July 18th. And it was like this two-week thing. Wow. You were like, what?

And I was like, wait, wait, what? Your business. You need to be here. Yes. And yet there, it was empty. And this simple little like hand-drawn sign. And in that moment, Lewis, I had this notion. I was like, wait a minute, I'm running this digital company. I have all of these amazing, beautiful, gorgeous souls that I work with. And we're producing content once a week, every week, nonstop. When do we ever take a break? And the advantage for me, like Josh, who works in entertainment, like series sometimes, they'll have, you know, you watch your favorite series. Like I love Handmaid's Tale.

I love Stranger Things. You see 11 or 12 episodes. You wait a year. Yes. And then they're off for a little while, right? And I thought to myself, why do I not have downtime built into my business? And this was about the time when also there was just a cultural uprising with hustle 24-7 and you have to work nonstop and never take a break and I'll sleep when I'm dead.

And I'm like, those are horrible messages for your health. So we decided after I had my croissant craving, I told my director of operations, I said, starting right now, we're going to close the company down for two weeks in the summer and two weeks in the winter. And in addition to people's already having their vacation time. And we started that, I guess, maybe, I don't know, five, six years ago. I might be wrong on those dates, but a good number of time ago. And so our company goes dark twice a year. And now the company's at a place where not everyone in customer service takes off those exact same two weeks. So they stagger so that we can take care of people.

But everyone has two weeks of dark time, two weeks of dark time. And what's great about that is that you don't get FOMO. weeks of dark time. And what's great about that is that you don't get FOMO, thinking that you're off and there's all these other things happening and there's projects moving ahead and there's these things that you want to be in on, but you're like feeling that tension because the rest of the company is moving ahead and you're trying to relax. So it's been a game changer for us as a team. Five years ago, roughly. Interesting. Have you felt any negative effects of that? Not one. What if you took a month off in the winter and a month off?

Is there like too much time where you're like, okay, now people are just... It's a great question. We haven't tested that. So I don't know. Two weeks for us has felt like a really beautiful amount of space. So over the past couple of years, the feedback, and we all talk about what we do when we come back and we also share very openly about how it feels. And this is no bullshit too. This is one of the things I'm most proud of. When everyone comes

back from break, they are A, so excited to get back from work. It's almost like a little joke. They're like, oh my God, I missed you guys so much. And they talk about how they spent time with their families, the adventures that they had, how they got a chance to refresh and renew themselves. And they come in with all these ideas. They didn't work on those ideas while they were away. It's just- It came to them. It came to them because they had a chance to step away. Yeah, they had space. Yeah. And this is the other cool thing, Louis, is I'm really proud of this. Oftentimes, and I don't find out about this until after a fact, they come back and I see these photos uploaded into Slack. They went to hang out with each other. Oh, wow.

And I was like, that's amazing. That's great. Yeah. Wow. Those are some big changes. Are those four weeks? Are those paid? Or is it just we're off and you guys take your time off? No, they're paid. Oh, that's great. Yeah. Wow. Those are some big changes. Are those four weeks? Are those paid? Or is it just we're off and you guys take your time off?

No, they're paid. Wow, that's great. Yeah, so they have, we have pretty good benefits. Because I feel like in our culture, I was just talking about this last night with my creative director. We were at dinner. It's such a strange environment that so many people that work for companies feel afraid. Like they feel. Afraid of what?

Expendable. Like there's no sense of loyalty. And we were talking about someone that we know collectively who's like super talented, but in an industry where things are shifting fast and this person, you know, there's always this undercurrent of not knowing whether or not they're going to be let go because budgets or this, that, or the other thing. And there's not necessarily a connection between employee and employer. And granted, many people may, well, that's just the way that business works. That's how it must be. And I don't agree with that. I want the people that work for me and with me to feel a sense of safety and security. I mean, nothing is guaranteed. I get hit by a bus, you know, we don't know. Something may happen, but that's all outside

of all of our control. But on a day-to-day basis, for someone to feel like if they're contributing their top gifts and their talents and their time to an organization, that that organization is also is equally invested in their health and well-being, their sanity, their ability to show up fully for their family, to have time, to have flexibility. I just think that's where we need to go if we want to create real change in our culture. I mean, there's that statistic that's been around for a while now. It hangs out that about 70% of people here in the United States are actively disengaged from their work. Right. You know, on some level. Maybe they're there for like two hours

actively, you know, maybe there's two hours of work a day, right? Yeah. Or, but just even the sentiment that they have towards their work, like they're not satisfied with it. They're, you know, going through the motions, just showing up. They're doing it only because they get a paycheck. They feel no sense of meaning or purpose. And the economic repercussions of having 70% of our workforce disengaged at work or not liking their work or not feeling satisfied with it is enormous, which speaks nothing of the emotional or the psychological or the spiritual cost of having that proportion of our workforce unhappy. Yeah, that's true. Wow.

Yeah. That's good. Yeah. What are the things you think you're not doing well in your business? I think a lot of these have started to shift with this book project. So I tend to be a person, this comes from two places.

I like to be involved in things because I'm very collaborative. Yeah. So I love to see how things are turning out and I love to like put my spin on them or at least have my input. But at the same time, you know, that can be overbearing. I don't want folks to feel like they constantly have to run things past me. My team definitely knows I trust them. So the thing that I haven't done well in the past is delegating enough, letting go

enough control. And particularly with this project, it's pushed us all so far outside of our collective comfort zones that it's been a joy to be like, you guys make the decision. You're amazing. You're intelligent. You're smart. Whatever you choose, I'm going to be happy with. Wow. Yeah. That's been good. It's hard to do to let go of that, right? It's been great. It's been good?

It's been really great. The fact that I'm this awake and happy and in it right now speaks to my kind of let go and let Jesus take the wheel, and in this case, Jesus manifests as my team. That's amazing. Just let people make decisions and move on. Yes. You do what you need to do

and let everyone else do what they need to do. Yeah, it's the only way to sanity. What do you think is missing in your life? Honestly, I'm going to sound like probably such a butthole saying this. I don't feel like anything's missing. Like I feel really, first of all, I feel really appreciative of everything. The fact that I have my health, the fact that I have a team and people that I love and people that love me. And I don't feel like there's a hole, if that makes sense. What do you feel like you'll regret if you don't do something in the next 10 years?

So you've had 10 years now of kind of launching this version two of your business, I would say, right? Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. And now the next decade is coming up. What will you regret if it's 2030, we're doing this again, sitting here, and you're like, I'm really upset at myself because I didn't do this in my personal life, in my business, my health, my family, the world. Yes. I would say the only thing I could foresee

at this moment not regretting is not continuing to take that quality time with people I love. That would be the thing that if for whatever reason I started making justifications. Right. Well, this opportunity is so amazing. So I got to go here and do this. That would be the only thing to be super transparent with you. Yeah. Because looking back on these past 10 years, the quality time with people that I love is everything. And I know this so viscerally in my body is that we're not going to be here forever. And we never know when the people that we love. Gone. Gone. And so for me, there is nothing more important than maintaining and enriching and deepening those personal, like friend relationships,

Josh, my family, like making sure that I show up as fully as possible and not letting anything take me off track from that. Because it's having not had money and starting with tons of debt and building everything from the ground up and now being in a different position, it's like I can see so clearly the success on an exterior level. That's amazing and I'm grateful for it. But nothing can make up for not having a sense of love in your life and not having people that you care about and that you're invested in. So there's nothing that I could strive for or reach for that's going to be more important than this, if that makes sense. Yeah, of course.

You probably get asked this a lot. Is my hair real? No, that one too. That one too. That's true. We found out before it's real. It's amazing. I love it. Louis asked me, he's like, are those extensions? I was like, no, buddy. I was like, that's not... I knew it wasn't, but I just wanted to ask. Yeah, no, I get it. The kids, the kid thing. Do you feel like... Oh yeah, let's talk about that. I think you get asked this a lot. I'm assuming you get asked this a lot by the women. Do you ever feel pressure or judged or whatever, critiqued because you don't have kids yet?

And I think you don't want to have kids. Is that correct? Yeah, no, it is. So I want to actually hit on all of those because each that you mentioned, pressured, judged, or critiqued. So let's stick with pressured, judged, or critiqued because those are very distinct flavors. Yes, yes. let's stick with pressure, drugs, or critique because those are very distinct flavors. Yes. So at this stage, I don't get asked as much anymore because I've been talking about it so consistently and trying to be as loving and just straight up as possible about the fact that I've

never wanted kids and real about the fact that I chose consciously or unconsciously a man who already had a child. So some part of me clearly wanted to be a stepmom because I am. And I love my stepson and he's awesome. So there's that. But I've never wanted to have my own biological kids. Why is that, do you think? You know, I've also never wanted to get married. I just think that we're all kind of born with these innate desires. And sometimes we adopt the expectations of our family, of society compass of the things that I would like to explore or learn or experience. And also a very clear compass of those things, which I just am not interested in. I don't not want it for other people. It's almost like when you go to a beautiful buffet, right? And you walk up and you're like, oh my goodness, there's these vegetables. And oh, there's these desserts and these possibilities. You don't necessarily take

from every option that's there. You're naturally attracted to some things over the other. So in my life, I've always known what I want to go after. And the little plate that has have children and the little plate that's like get married was not in your. I just was like, that's not for me. It's not desirable. It's not my path. And so earlier on in my life, I had many people tell me that I'm making the worst mistake ever, that I'm going to regret it. Both marriage and baby, not having babies and not being married.

Mostly babies. Yeah, yeah. Mostly babies. Was that I was going to, you know to reach some age and just absolutely hate myself and it would be the biggest mistake of my life. That I was going to die alone. And I'm like, I'm going to die alone anyway. We'll all die alone. That's exactly right.

We're not holding hands, dying with someone, crossing over. Luckily not, unless, you know, God forbid, a plane goes down. So there was that. lane goes down. Right. So there was that in terms of, you know, so the feeling judged about it and criticized, let's go into those pockets because that's interesting to me. I have had folks and I can understand this. So I do understand it, but I think that there is just room to explore it and have a discussion when it comes to having a conversation around productivity, having a conversation around business growth, having a conversation around priorities. And people can be very bold and courageous on like an Instagram comment where they wouldn't be

nearly so, you know, if you were sitting across the table and just having a conversation, it was like, well, it's easy for you to say, those of us that have kids. And I'm like, now all of a sudden anything that comes out of my mouth is all of a sudden without merit because I have not given biological birth to a child through my vagina. Like, really? Is that where we're going to take this? Oh, and by the way, let's take a look at other folks that I have worked with who have seven kids, eight kids who say, oh, I found value in this principle and here's how I made this idea work in the context of my life. So I think that it's really interesting to have someone judge another person for their choices. Do you know what I mean? So I think that-

How do you handle being judged for that or for anything? Oh, I give absolutely no. No attention. Fs. Right, yeah, you don't care. I don't because, you know, the more you care about what other people think, the more they own you.

The more power they have over you. Yeah, and it's like, I want people to win. That's who I am as a person. I want people to win. I want them to be well. I want them to be well. I want them to be successful. If there's anything that I could possibly share that even a tiny nugget of what I share helps them become more of who they want to be, then I feel I have done my job successfully. Do I have all the answers? Absolutely not. No way. No one has all the

answers. But I do believe that what we create in our company and the programs we put together and the things that we share help people find their own answers. take the time to either make that comment or that judgment, my perspective would be that there's something in their own life that's not working that puts them in that position of feeling a sense of pain or feeling like they have to judge someone else to justify what's happening in their own life. I just don't think that gets any of us anywhere. So what do you do when people are judging you online? Do you just delete? Do you just leave it and don't respond? Do you just say, thank you for the feedback and move on? It depends, I think, contextually. Like if someone has a different opinion and they express it respectfully, amazing. Yeah.

If someone's being hateful and trying to incite other people into a space of negativity and there's no basis in fact, there's no desire to have a meaningful conversation, again, depending on where it is. We have a very, very clear and strong boundary in our programs. There's like a zero negativity, zero drama, zero bullshit policy that we have because no one can learn if they're in an unsafe environment. And if you feel like expressing an opinion or just kind of taking people down this drama-filled road, that's not why we're here. You know, in the context of my business, in the context of trying to help people gain skills and understandings, it's like, if you want to go have contentious conversations, do it on your own page, go do it on your living room or go hold a community

gathering, invite people, Complain. Correct. Or whatever, but not in the learning environment that you have entrusted me to support you in. That's not about to happen. But on public pages, again, if it's just someone who actually just wants to have a meaningful conversation, which is the exception, not the rule, let's have that meaningful conversation. But if it's someone who's just looking to kind of take a dump in your living room and stir the shit, I'm like, nah, nah, not interested. I want to take a quick moment to tell you about the greatness mastermind. Now, if you are an influencer with a large social media following, or if you're a business owner or an entrepreneur making seven figures in your business a year or eight figures and beyond, then I want you to check out greatnessmastermind.com. This is

a year-long program where we curate high-level influencers, high-level entrepreneurs to be a part of our coaching program, where we pull back the curtain. We bring you together with other high-level influencers and entrepreneurs to help you scale your business, to help you grow your brand, and ultimately bring in more income for your business as well. This is all about building a bigger brand, making more impact in the world, and bringing in more income as well. If you want to learn the strategies about how we built our brand, the School of Greatness brand, my personal brand, my business, how I've connected with some of the most influential people in the world, all the different strategies we do with marketing,

sales, our team, social media, everything that we do, then go to greatnessmastermind.com, read the form, and only apply if you feel called and ready to make the commitment to take your business and your impact to the next level. This is only for select people who are ready. It's a premium investment as well because we want to make sure the right people are involved who are committed to taking their business to the next level. So go to greatnessmastermind.com committed to taking their business to the next level. So go to greatnessmastermind.com. And if that's you, make sure to apply today.

And we'll see you there. And now let's get back to the interview with Marie Forleo. So how do you navigate your relationship? Let's say, I don't know if Josh wants to get married or not, but if he wanted to get married at some point, like 10 years down the line, he was like, you know what, I just really want to be married. Yeah.

Would that be something you'd be open to or changing your mind about? Yeah. And what if he's like, I really want to have another kid? Yeah. We've had the kid conversation, so I'm very clear on that one. Because I think that it's important, especially for couples, I think it's important to have those real conversations about. Early. Yes. So we tackled that one.

Okay. And we talked about it. And he was really loving and open with me. Like, hey, especially, you know, after being together 16 years in the early part, he's like, if you change your mind and want to have kids, like, I would love to have a kid with you. Wow. So he was, but he's like, but I don't feel the desire.

Like, I have my son. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's a father already. So there was no. He's not pressuring you. No. It was just more like the open imitation.

And then in terms of marriage, I don't like to say never to anything. I just like to be honest about my truth in this moment. But if there came a point in the future where something in me goes like, I'm super into this. And he was like, I'm super into this too. Let's do it. That very well could happen. And I'm super open with that. But what I love about our relationship is we throw it on the table.

And we talk about it. Everything. Yes. All the time. I think that's the best way to do it. It's the only way. Because we human beings are complex. only way because we human beings are complex and expecting another person to just capitulate to your desires or what you really it's like it doesn't honor their individuality and i really

believe that there is a way to nurture and love and support the growth of the person that you love without pressuring them consciously or subconsciously to bend at your will. Right. Or manipulating them for passive aggressive in some ways to get them to do something they don't want to do. Exactly. And for us, and I'll just, the last thing I'll say on this, like in terms of a romantic relationship, the most important things to me, like, do we actually love each other? Do we respect each other? Are we loyal to one another? Is there love and passion? Do we feel a sense of intimacy and connection?

You know what I mean? It's like on a day-to-day basis, are we waking up so excited to be with one another? Not that it's always that way. I'm just talking the vast majority of the time. Is shit on track? And if it is, in my book, winning. You're winning, yeah. Super winning.

If you're 90, 80% of the time things are positive. Correct. And pretty smooth, it's pretty good. And you still love that person. You want to be with them. So like with Josh, it's like he is my human. He is my person. We love our lives together.

And when our work takes us, we're like, okay, what's our next adventure together? That's cool. When do we get to see each other? Or we switch our plans so that we have that night together if it was going to be three weeks of going in different directions and I'll be like, I will fly home, even if it's just for dinner or whatever. Do you know what I mean? That's cool. But that to me means more than a marriage certificate.

Again, this is just my own personal truth, not for other people. Of course. Just for me. Where do you think you'd be if you were single the last 10 years? Oh, my goodness. Would your business be as successful, do you think? Again, we're just hypothetical. I know, it's hypotheticals.

Or do you think you'd be distracted, or where do you think you would be? It's a great question. I don't know the honest answer to that, but I would be lying if I didn't say that the love and the depth of trust and connection that we have together, it's impossible that that hasn't positively impacted my business. Yeah. being single these past 10 years. Like sometimes I honestly will go out and about and I just, I look up and I'm like, thank you, sweet Jesus, to that I am not kind of out on the scene.

I just, you know, and like bless people that are. And I, you know, I hope for everyone who wants love to have love and to find love in the form that's good for them. But I'm just real happy. So I don't even know. Do you think your business would be as profitable and successful? You know, to be really honest, it could go either way.

Like, depending on how wild and crazy I got over those last 10 years, you know, I could envision a version where it wasn't, but I could also envision a version that it was actually technically more successful. Who knows? Right, right. Do you know what I mean? It could have been like... that it was actually technically more successful. Who knows? Right, right. Do you know what I mean? It could have been like- Or financially successful or something.

Or something. Just because you know why? Because I didn't take those- Or time. Exactly. You just didn't take a break. Exactly. That's exactly right.

And so that's as possible as the other one. Do you know any examples of individuals who have extremely successful brands, careers, or businesses who are single after 40 where they have healthy businesses and they are happy? Do you have any friends like that, like females, males like that, who are single for— Single and really— Or not married, no kids, and they're just crushing and happy and fulfilled. I don't. I was thinking about my friend, a friend that I have who is in her 60s who is not married but now recently has a boyfriend. But she also does have a child, but it's an adult child.

And she's very happy and she's very satisfied with her life. And she's been single for a while? She was single for a very good portion of her adult life and only within the last year has a new boyfriend. And she did really well and she's happy. And she did really well. And she's amazingly happy. So that's one that comes to mind.

I'm trying to think. Most of my other dear friends are in some type of partnership marriage. Yeah, gotcha. I'm always curious about that because I think about the men that I admire the most. They're typically in a committed marriage or some type of committed relationship. And their businesses take off when they have that support. Yeah. As opposed to just the distractions that are out in the world.

Yeah. I think there's something settling that happens for us when we have someone that we want to devote our love to and invest in that person and who they are. Yeah.

I don't know. I like it. Yeah. I do. This book came about, I think, from an Oprah talk that you did three years ago, almost three and a half years ago, four years ago.

Yeah. The idea I've been talking about for like two decades. Your mom taught you this when you were younger growing up. Yep. But then you did a speech on it, which I saw, which was amazing. Thank you. Yeah, here in L.A. And everyone's been asking you to do a book for a decade, and you finally decided to do one.

Yes. Why do you feel like you wanted to do one now? And why this topic and not something else? So the why now piece was a lot about trusting myself. You know, when I think any of us have opportunities knocking at the door, it can feel easy to be like, oh, I need to say yes because, you know, this window of opportunity isn't going to be open long. Or this is going to help me, quote unquote, get ahead. Or I need to make sure I maintain my edge and get out there. And one of the things that's been a big lesson for me is to always trust my own timing

and not the exterior pressures of the world. And when those calls kept coming in, like, we need a book from you. Let's do a business book. Let's do whatever book. I was like, no, it doesn't. It feels like there's a seed that's been planted. And just like a real life plant, that seed takes some time. You have to water it. There needs to be the right nutrients in the soil, needs to be the right weather. And then even as the seedling comes up out of the ground,

you can't tug on it too fast to get it to bloom faster. You know what I mean? Like you have to nurture it and it has to take the time it takes to come into its full faster. You know what I mean? Like you have to nurture it and it has to take the time it takes to come into its full possibility. And that's how I felt with this book. I had known that there was a big idea I wanted to write about when Oprah and her team had asked me to speak at Super Soul Sessions. The first thought about what the title of the talk would be was everything is figureoutable. And then I had appeared in my mental theater, this is your book. Like it wasn't even like it was a decision. It was like, it was like the seedling had come up and go, this is me. Now you are going to be ready to, you know what

I mean? So, but the bigger reason in terms of an exterior reason, there's two things. One, we have a lot of challenges collectively happening right now. There's over 350 million people around the world that suffer from depression. Suicide rates in the United States are at a 30-year high. That speaks nothing of the economic, political, pollution, thinking about every level of inequality and injustice that impacts us. So we've got a lot of problems that both individually and collectively we need to solve. And I ran into a mutual friend of ours, Toby, who runs Shopify. I think you know him. I was actually working on the manuscript at a restaurant in New York and he walked in and I was like, oh my goodness, because he's from Canada. I'm like, what are you doing here?

And we caught up and he's like, why are you writing a book? You're so busy with the rest of your business. It's not like you need to write a book. And this is what I told him. I said, Toby, honestly, I feel like if I were to walk out in the street right now and I got hit by a bus, this is the one idea that I would want to leave behind from every Marie TV, from everything I've ever done. I feel like if I can somehow communicate this idea in a book form in a way that people can really get, that I could leave and go to that next chapter

being like, peace, y'all, I did my thing, right? Like, I'm fine, I'm good. So that's the reason I wanted to write this book because I feel like every single one of us has such innate wisdom and so many capabilities that we're not even fully aware of. And that if I could write about this simple three-word phrase that has helped me at every single stage of my life and continues to

help me to this day, I still use it every day, it would give people a tool that could serve them regardless of where they come from, regardless of their age, regardless of their economic background, regardless of their cultural background, because it's so simple. It's not complex. I joked, because I struggled a lot through the writing process. You're like, it's so simple. It's so simple.

I remember at points kind of tearing my hair out, feeling so terrible, like I'm a bad writer and I don't know if any of this is good. And going like this, I made the joke. I was like, can't we just write a book with everything as figureoutable on the cover and then there's blank pages throughout? That's it.

That's it. On a very kind of joking but meta level, this is all you need to know. That's it. Yeah. Well, I think the best-selling books are always the most basic. Yes. It's like the foundational. The four agreements.

It's literally like four sentences. Yes. It's the whole book. But it's so profound in its simplicity. Simplicity. Yes. The five-second rule. It's like, okay. It's, you know. Yes. It's the whole book. But it's so profound in its simplicity. Simplicity. Yes. The five second rule. It's like, okay, it's, you know, say five, four, three, two, one.

And it's like, that's the whole book. Yes. You know, it's all these things. So you are a badass. It's like, okay, I'm a badass. You can believe it. Yes. And you don't need a whole book.

It's like simple stuff that just is a big hit. So was that challenging for you to like say, okay, I'm going to fill up a book that's really could be one cover and write all this research and do all this stuff? Yeah. I'll tell you what was interesting was for me how to communicate all of the tools and the principles that support this one notion in an arc that gives people actionable things to do and that doesn't overwhelm them, but at the same time gives them enough things to activate this belief so that it never leaves their consciousness or their soul again. Yeah, that's the power. Yeah. That's the power. What is the thing right now that's in the way that you need to figure out? I think one of the things

that's been interesting about the book launch process for me, we're just in the process of actually figuring out how to get the book in as many hands as possible in a way that always feels authentic to us. And it's fun. It's like, that's really the thing that we're figuring out. And it feels like we're in the process of it, if that makes any kind of sense. Figuring it out right now. Yeah, totally figuring it out. You've never done this. You've done other launches. Yeah. I mean, I wrote a book when I was in my early 20s. Dating one, right? Yeah. And it was such a different experience. A different era of getting books out out then too. Completely. Completely.

I didn't know anything. I didn't have a very big audience. I didn't have any confidence in my own ability to like negotiate or to partner with anyone. Like it was like such a different era. But that's the thing now like figuring out. We just did a kind of really fun video shoot yesterday that's tied into the book. Giada, who's my creative director and I, we were like sitting at dinner last night and just laughing. We're like, oh my goodness, like we're working with

so many different teams. Like imagine us six years ago, this would have totally stressed us out. And now we're like so joyful about it. So it's really fun. That's cool. Yeah. Where in your life do you feel like you have the least amount of confidence? The least amount of confidence. I would say, for me, the place where there's a real growth edge is saying yes to a keynote talk, right? Where I could just say yes and get on that stage. I'm a talker. So I don't mind. I love talking and I love teaching, but I also am really interested in creating beautiful cases to inspire people to adopt ideas. And that takes, for me, it takes work to craft those. I was at one point in college considering a law degree. So I took many law classes. And one of my favorite pieces of those classes was constructing the legal briefs because I loved finding an idea and then backing it up to make a case to argue for that. It's a great skill. But for me, that doesn't necessarily happen instantly.

And I don't necessarily feel confident at this point in my career because I care so much about ideas. Just like stepping on a stage and be like, I'm going to give a keynote tomorrow. Even though technically I know I could fill an hour. And be fine. And be totally fine. But I don't feel the same level of confidence as, let's say, other aspects. Like, you know, you could throw me in any kind of interview. You could throw me in some marketing situation.

You could throw me in almost anything. I'd be like, give this. Bring it. Yeah. But that's the area that I'm excited. Giving keynotes, huh? Yeah. Interesting. Yeah, huh? Yeah. Interesting.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I also, it's really a fun, just because I've spent the last decade focused in other areas, if that makes sense. Yeah, of course. Yeah, so that's. What's a skill set you really want to learn over the next decade?

Okay, there's a couple. I got a couple. So I don't know if it'll happen in 10 years because just like with the book, it's not necessarily something I'm like, I want to really do this, but I don't have the time because that's bullshit. I do have the time. It's just about what priorities are. Desire, yeah.

Yes. So it may not be within a decade, but certainly within 15 is learn to speak Italian. Gosh, yeah. Because I love the language and I practice little bits here and there and I practice around my trips. and I practice little bits here and there and I practice around my trips and I just know in my heart that God willing, I'm on the planet long enough that that will be to go over there

and spend some time and do an immersive program where I can just drench myself in the culture and not speak English for like eight weeks and just do it. I think the other thing that I would really, I'm a horrible singer, horrible. I love karaoke. I love singing and rapping.

I'm doing whatever, like anything in the karaoke world. But I think along with that Italian thing, training, like vocal training, I think would be so fun. Not even necessarily to perform publicly, but I feel like. Just for yourself. Inner confidence. Just for even like singing in the shower. I have so much fun singing no matter what. But being able to like follow a tune, like I see it a lot like dance.

So for me, when you learn choreography and it was unfamiliar to you and then it gets in your body and you are actually able to not just perform technically, but you can dance the choreography. There is a freedom in that feeling that's remarkable. And I suspect, and I don't know if this is true, but I suspect there's something akin to that with singing, that if you could learn a tune and actually, do you know what I mean, be able to follow the notes, that it would be a really joyous experience. I know. When I started learning salsa dancing, it was for— You're good at that. Thank you.

I do my best. For three and a half months, I was—I think we learn anything. You're self-conscious. You're like, I suck at this. Yes. Especially a partner experience. I was like, I'm just making these people look bad every day. I felt bad.

And it wasn't until like three and a half months, things started to click where I was like, I was fluent in salsa dancing. And then I was not self-conscious anymore. I wasn't thinking about counting the steps and hitting the beats. I was just flowing. Yes. And it was just like the rhythm took over

and I was like, I'm a Latino. You know, it's like, I am a Latino. You know what I mean? I just started taking singing lessons at the end of last year. And it's been a game changer for me. Because I've never sung in front of people. Because it's one of my fears.

Yes. So every year I try to write down, like, what are the biggest fears that still hold me back? Yes. Whether they don't hold me back because I just don't try them, but I know they hold me back inside. Yes. And I never did karaoke before. I would just go and watch and I would never do it. Yes.

Unless it was like 10 people singing at the same time type of thing. You know, it's like I would never do it myself. And I started to, I was like, okay, I'm sticking tired of this. I'm going to do lessons. And it's been amazing. Did you find someone here local? I found someone local. And I was like, all right, I need to find someone who terrifies me.

And I was like, who's one of the best singers in the world? And who's their coach? And I was like, Sia, for me, is like chandelier of the song. I was like, this girl can sing. Yes. I'm like, who's her their coach i was like sia for me is like chandelier the song i was like this girl can sing yes like who is her coach yes i found her coach and um i'm working with sia's coach and we're gonna brother you're gonna have to share a little tip because i was just gonna say i don't know it's amazing is it no it's amazing i really want to learn yeah the first few weeks i did it i was literally like drenched in sweat, so nervous. Because just me and her, and I'm singing right in front of her.

Yes. And I'm just like, see all the posters of all the singers that she's worked with. I'm like, what am I doing here? Every week, it just got more and more natural, where I was able to expand my range and open my vocal cords and everything. And I was just like, oh, OK. Oh, wait. So have you sung publicly a little bit? No, no, no.

I mean, I've done karaoke a couple times, but I'm not. Do you want to sing right now? No. I don't want to sing right now. I don't really want to do it for public. No, of course. You know what I mean? It's just like you with the shower.

I completely understand that. I completely understand that. But if I need to, I could. And it wouldn't terrify me. Yeah. You know what I mean? I totally respect and totally understand that. It's a game changer, though.

Yeah. Just like the art of learning something new that you're scared of, I think it's powerful for all of us. Completely. And to be able to hang out there. So part of what we're doing with the book, we were talking about this a little bit off camera. So I wanted to do something special. And we're doing this thing in New York. And I'm grateful because it sold out.

But we describe it as imagine if a Beyonce concert and a Ted talk had a baby and then threw a block party. And that's kind of what we're doing. And there's choreography involved and not just of other dancers, but for me. And I will tell you, Lewis, the other day I went into my first day of rehearsal and even though, right, I was a Nike elite dance athlete and this is going way back. You taught dance? I taught dance. I don't have a formal dance training background. Like a hip hop. Exactly.

So I was completely self-taught, and I didn't start until my mid-20s. So I was like over the hill in the dance world. So I'm still not anywhere near the realm of some of these incredible folks that are out there. And I was going into dance rehearsals the other day. Lewis, I was so terrified. I actually did like a little, I recorded it on video because I wanted to remember the feeling of how much I wanted to like throw up, how scared I felt of just going into that room and just the notions, like the visions in my mind of just being completely overwhelmed,

being like totally shut down. Do you know what I mean? Like all of that fear of stepping into and what I had said to myself was like, I'm so curious if other people experience this in other disciplines. Again, whether it is speaking in public, having a conversation with a loved one.

Starting a business. Starting a business. Writing a book, whatever it may be. Going into a new kind of phase of their health or fitness, showing up for something. But I think it's a really exciting place to be, and I loved, it was uncomfortable to hang out with those feelings, but after three days of rehearsals, I was like,

let's do it again! Were you with professional dancers also? Who are like top pros in New York? Yes. And so that particular rehearsal, we have rehearsal with the rest of the team coming up, but this is with like, I mean, people who have choreographed and work with folks like Beyonce and like, do you know what I mean? Like we're, and so the intimidation level is like completely just like, what have I

gotten myself into? Can we start with the two step guys? Yeah, let's start with the basics. Take it real, real slow for this one. That's good. Yeah. I think it's important for people to get out of their comfort zones as much as possible. And it sounds like your free course that you have, it sounds like if people buy a book,

they get access to the free course. Yeah. So I want to talk about this real fast. So writing for me, I was saying how it wasn't an easy process. And I was trying to do a really good job, just do a good job by my publishers and by the audience too. Turned in the first draft of the manuscript and was waiting for feedback from the editors and the publishers. And they sent a lovely email with a bunch of notes for each chapter, stuff to tweak and to change all part of the process as it was. But I had spent a ton of time on this last chapter and I was like super proud of it

and I was hoping for them to love it. I wanted them to love it. A round of applause, bravo. Or something like, oh my goodness, like that's so great. No, the feedback was, we think you should lose that chapter. Like that chapter needs to just not be there. We think the book ends here. It feels like, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, okay. And I was definitely like crestfallen and felt disappointed. But then I had the two-week break off for the holidays, which gave me a moment of perspective shift. And I went back and looked at the material and I was like, you know what? They are right. This book doesn't, excuse me, this chapter doesn't belong in the book. It belongs in the classroom. I can actually help people with this material so much more if I can use the benefit of

my voice, of visuals, of fun sheets. So I took the material, reworked it, developed it even further, and then turned it into an online course and people can get it completely for free. There's no upsell. It's not like that. But to celebrate the launch of the book, I just want people to have that extra information that didn't make it in. So it's kind of like the advanced material to help you embed the belief everything is figureoutable into your psychology. Because my friends were asking me, they're like, you think this way automatically because this is an idea that you've grown up with. Yeah. So now it's a part of my DNA. So I was like, how can I help other people in a really simple and easy way get this belief to be a part of their DNA so they can get the benefit of it like this?

And so that free course, which is called The Figureoutable Formula, if you order the book, you can get in. There's a page. It's everythingisfigureoutable.com slash free gift. And you just upload your receipt. You'll get an email when we're starting the course. And you can have that material for life. It's five days live. It's five days.. It's five days.

The videos are super short, so it's not like you have to have a big time commitment. If you have five or ten minutes a day, I will teach you a tool that is research-backed that will help you. Got this, Louis. This is so great. This is why I was so proud of it and I was so disappointed. You can get over any fear, any doubt, any negative belief and get into action in 90 seconds or less. Wow. There you go.

It's fun. You're going to have to use the tool a couple times, right? Sure, sure. Just like anything else. I love that. But it will get you into that space of moving forward rather than feeling stuck. What are the things that you would say, maybe you don't do these every day, but if there are three to five things that if you could do every day, you know, you would have a much better day

if you don't do those things. Okay. And maybe you do them every day. Maybe you do them most days and sometimes you miss, but I'm a most days person because, um, because life happens. Well, yeah. And I mean, just, you know, you and I had been texting back and forth. We were both traveling so much. I had like a pretty, it was just one, you know, when you just have those travel days where you're on the tarmac for a few hours. You're like, I can't work out. movement for sure. So on days when it's tough, it looks like a little app that racks up a seven minute workout that I can literally do anywhere, like in an office to on better days going to a class or doing like a full 30 minute or a 45 minute or something like that, or like a dance class or a spin class in anything in that range. even if I can only get in a seven minute workout,

I'm proud of myself because I did something, right? So movement. Meditation, another big one. I actually saw it the other day when I was in rehearsal. So I had three days of Miniro. Two out of the three days I meditated. The two days that I meditated, my ability to remember choreo was so much faster.

And the second day, I felt like my body had just needed more rest because I had pushed it really hard the day before. So I had this moment. I don't know if you've ever experienced this where you've got like a little bit of a choice or like, oh, does the body need this or this? And for me, I'm working really hard to maintain my health as I'm pushing myself very hard. So it's just making choices to go like, will the extra hour sleep or whatever. But I noticed that the day that I didn't meditate, I had a harder time and I was harder on myself in the studio. So meditation. Yeah.

Drinking enough water. I am definitely one of those humans that between like water and food, if I get into like a creative zone doing something. You forget to eat. Yes. I'm like, oh, wow, it's 730 and I have not touched food. Wow. Not, do you know what I mean? So obviously proper hydration.

And then I would say when this works for Josh and I, this is like a non-negotiable in the morning, like we have coffee together in bed pretty much every day. Like there's maybe a 20-minute or like half-hour connection time. That's good. Where we just bullshit, honestly. Like we just talk about whatever. We play with Kuma. We talk about anything.

It's just like hangout time. That's good. And it feels really, it's just grounding. And it's just like a moment to be with that person that you really love before the rest of the world. So those are the things that for me, and it's not much more complicated than that. There are certain times of like creatively where maybe journaling, like when I was writing the book, it was a really helpful way for me to kind of process new ideas. But I'm not an everyday journal person. Sometimes it feels like it's just kind of the faucet is open and I have to actually go right into it.

Yes, yes, yes. Okay. What's something you think that you could add or eliminate that would make your life better? Add or eliminate? Maybe one of each. I think the more I dial up physical activity, I am just more joyful. So it would just be to kind of crank up the volume on that even more and then eliminate. That's a really, okay. If I came to you, I'm like, okay, I'm wanting my subconscious to surface something. I will tell you, and I don't really know if this would make my life better.

I really don't. So I love, I call it real estate porn because I just love- Are you on Zillow all day like me? I have, it's street easy for New York and I have other, where it's, I just like seeing interiors and I like seeing the shapes.

I don't know what it is, but I love seeing how different things are constructed. It feels like when I just, I like seeing the shapes. I don't know what it is, but I love seeing how different things are constructed. It feels like when I just flick through, I have no desire to go look at these places. I have no desire. Do you know what I mean? But there's something about it that I'm like, well, I know how some folks, and God bless all of us, right? We all have our little things. Like some people are like, oh, my goodness, I spend too much time on Instagram.

That's not really me. I'm not super duper into social, but I would say if there's any app that I overuse, it is that street. Real estate app. I just go, I'm like, oh, what's new? Or what's happening? Or, you know.

An hour passes and you're like, what did I do with my life? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But sometimes, I will admit though, sometimes it is a great way for my brain to just actually, almost like the, you know what I mean, the dust settles. If, obviously, meditation would be, like, ideal.

But there's some times where if that's just what my little heart is like, girl, just get yourself a moment or two of real estate porn. I'm going to say yes. It's like watching a movie. Yeah. You're just watching a movie. Totally. Your own way. Yeah, totally.

That's just your movie. Yeah, so, again, I'm skeptical about whether or not less of that would actually be good. Try it for a week and see what it does. Instead of that, go do another workout class or a meditation class or yoga. Yeah, because it's the nighttime thing. If I work out at night, then I can't sleep. Ah, gotcha. Yeah.

So early morning, gotcha. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. But if I think of something else that's terrible, I will absolutely give you an update. What's something you're proud of that no one knows about? Something I'm proud of that no one knows about. I think no one knows about this maybe because I haven't spoken it. But I'm really, really proud of my team and the company I've built.

And I know maybe I've talked about it. So I'm not trying to weasel out of it, but that's the first thing that came into my heart. Because I love them so much and I love seeing how happy they are. And I feel like while they make their own choices, they've opted to be here, I feel like I've played some part in bringing these magical humans together. part in bringing these magical humans together and when they send me slack messages that say like i feel like i have my dream job like i can't believe this is real that's cool it it that's pretty cool yeah that's pretty private yeah yeah that's cool what is the thing that you're most afraid of besides the heights we talked about before but yeah more like an emotional thing you're afraid of an emotional thing you're afraid of? An emotional thing I'm afraid of?

I think. Not like spiders or like snakes, but something else. No, no, no, no, no, no. Something real. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Nothing that. You know, I think it would be behaving in a way that I was unaware that I was hurting someone that I love. Do you know what I mean? Like finding out after too long of a period of time that I had been doing something unconsciously that was unkind or that was hurtful or that was

somehow damaging to someone and I didn't know. Yeah, that would suck. Yeah. I think I would just be like, not because I'm striving to be perfect, but I love people and I would never want to hurt someone. You know what I mean? To know that I had been doing something unconsciously that was causing another person pain, that would suck. Would suck. Final few questions. People are going to learn about your mom and the lessons she taught you about everything that's figureoutable in this book. What's the one lesson that she taught you that you don't talk about in here that's really impacted your life?

And one lesson your dad taught you that was really influential for you? Mom, a blessing that she's drilled into me that I don't talk about in the book is just, like, how important it is to love your partner. Really. Like, it's just she's – my mom is such an interesting character. She's still alive. God bless her. It was just her birthday actually yesterday. Wow.

And she's spicy. Like, she's still alive. God bless her. It was just her birthday actually yesterday. And she's spicy. Like she's real spicy. Sometimes, you know, like all of our parents and all of us as humans, we're complicated, right? We're not that easy to get. And my mom, there's times when she will be like, you know, while you're young right now, while you and Josh are together and you both have your health and you're both able to do all that. she's like, I remember she had said this to me right before we went to Italy. She's like, I need you to do something. She's like, I know how busy you are. I know there's a lot going on. She's like, but when you guys are together, promise me that you're just going to take a moment when you're in whatever little cafe that you'll just sit there and have, if you're drinking a cappuccino.

She knows I love my cappuccinos or espessos, she's like, just really take it in because it's not going to last forever. Wow. And just look at him and really taste that cappuccino and look at the birds or the trees or whatever's there, and she's like, take that moment in because there's going to come a time it's not going to be around anymore. Wow. That's powerful. Yeah. Wow. moment in because there's going to come a time it's not going to be around anymore wow that's

powerful yeah wow so it's like she's real good at drilling those things in yeah and it's important it's important we did it like when we were there it was so i was like hey remember what my mom said and he was like yeah we're like okay yeah let's like let's let's do it like we're here right now like we're still like we still have our health we still have the ability like walk around and to enjoy this and you just yeah as opposed to doing constantly let's travel let's do this let's just be in that little moment and in the in the really like simple moments yeah the simple moments of like having a slice of pizza or just hanging out on like a... Pizza.

Me too. I have, by the way, I have really great pizza recommendations. In New York? Both. Here too? Well, not here, New York and Italy. Here, okay. I will, as a side note, we went to Naples for the first time and I did three pizzas in three

days. So pizza for lunch, pizza for dinner, and then pizza for lunch the day before we left. I'm going to give you a video of the best. Oh my God, it's awesome. So that's mama. My dad, he really taught me about over-delivering in business and the notion that you just take care of people. When people show up to your business, right? And so he had a printing business, just a small physical business. And sometimes his clients would be in a bind. And we would go in on the weekends and weeknights. You know what I mean? If there was like, okay, we got to get this big job done for this person. This is a really important client to my dad. They're in a bind, like whatever

happened. And you know what? This is what we do. We take care of people. We go above and beyond. And my parents, we would like when we would all as a family go into work when there was like a something going on that was intense, like they would bring a boom box. We would order a pizza or a Jersey and we would like turn it into like a work party. And I think my dad just taught me this, this, the value of the work ethic, which is good. It's like, you don't complain. You just show up. You do it with enthusiasm.

And when people are kind enough to reward you with their business, you reward them with going above and beyond and like taking really good care of them. That's cool. Yeah. I want to acknowledge you, Marie, because it's been amazing to watch your journey and to know you for the last decade and to see you continue to

grow into such a, just a loving woman, just a human being that cares about humanity. And I think that's what I respect about you the most is that your desire to impact people. And for me, that's what I want to do. I want to do more of impacting people. And you do an amazing job of working so consistently and committed to creating the tools and the information to inspire. You inspire men, but most of your work is for women

and women entrepreneurs. And I think that's something I admire the most about you. So I acknowledge you for that. And I admire admire you for it's not easy when every not everyone but lots of people do things different than you do it in your relationship not being a mom whatever it is that you do it differently yeah it's not easy to hear that all the time or think like oh am I you know should I be doing something else like these women are doing or whatever? And so I really acknowledge you for owning your truth for where it is right now and just being who you are. Because I think it's in a world where it's easy to judge ourselves and

compare ourselves to other people's lives, you are living your life. And I think that's really awesome. Thank you. Yeah, of course. Thank you. And thanks for having me on. Of course. And congratulations.

I mean, I feel similarly in our friendship too because we've been in each other's lives for so long. And it's always so fun for me to see how many things you're doing and how many people love you and how you're like, oh my God God, you're in a Lewis house. And I'm like, yes, my boy. Yeah, exactly. I appreciate it.

I appreciate it. The book is out. Everything is figureoutable. Make sure you guys pick it up right now, Marie Forleo. Go to the website. It's at marieforleo.com or everythingisfigureoutable.com, and they can enter the receipt. You'll have it all over your website too.

Yeah, it's very simple, very clear. To get the bonus courses, things like that. Check out the tour that you're on. It's probably already sold out by now when you're watching this or listening, but check it out. Maybe you can get a ticket. What else can they do besides getting the book, following you on social media, their websites? I think use this simple idea, you know, just take this on. I like to just tell people, try it before you deny it. You know, for folks that are skeptical, like, is everything really figureoutable? There are actually three simple rules.

I'll run through them really fast because it helps us have this mental container. Perfect. An eight-year-old asked me when I was first writing the book, like, Marie, no, everything's not figureoutable. And I was like, what do you mean? He's like, well, I can't grow human working wings out of my back and fly. And I was like, well, that's true right now. We don't know where we're going. Yeah, exactly.

CRISPR's on the rise. Yeah, exactly. But we can indeed fly. And he was like, oh, yeah. And then he said, you know, well, I can't bring my childhood dog back from the dead. And I was like, well, not yet. But cloning is happening and we are, you know, kind of people are looking at cryogenics and stuff. And he's like, oh, I get it.

So here's the three rules. All problems or dreams are figureoutable. Rule number two, if a problem isn't figureoutable, it's not a problem. It's a fact of life, like death, gravity, laws of nature. Rule number three, you may not care enough to solve this particular problem or reach this particular dream, and that's okay. Find something that you do care deeply about and go back to rule number one. And what that little set of rules does is it helps us create a mental container with which we can use this idea for its highest intention, which is our own growth, our own learning, and our own capability

to develop ourselves to make meaningful change in ourselves and the world around us. So, yeah. And we do have stories in there for anyone listening who's like, well, wait, but what about like terminal illness or the loss of a child or any of these hard truths that we humans face? We have stories in there from folks. I'll tell one quick one before we go. A woman named Jen wrote to us. She said, I watched your Oprah talk about everything is

figureoutable. I actually watched it with my mom because it's a lesson she's been trying to teach me my whole life and we both loved it. She said, then though everything changed. My mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and suddenly nothing seemed figureoutable. But when she said she took a step back and looked at it from a different perspective, things were. She could find nursing care for her mom who lived in a rural area. She could find foods that she could tolerate and she could get medical equipment, which would allow her mom to spend her last days. And in fact, her last five weeks in her home, which is where she wanted to be. So she wrote and she said, it actually turns out that everything is figureoutable. And thank

you for sharing that talk, which made a difference to me and my mom who live on the other side of the world. So I just wanted to say that for anyone listening who is just like struggling with one of those really difficult, hard truths, that there's still an ability to use this idea to awaken an innate power that you have within yourself to figure out things that will make a tremendous difference even in the midst of really challenging circumstances.

Yeah, that's powerful. Two final questions. This is called the three truths question. I'll ask everyone at the end. Okay. So imagine you've accomplished everything you want and you live as long as you want, but at one point you got to go. Yes. Okay. You're a hundred, 200, whatever you want to be, as old as you want to be. And you've created everything again that you want, but for whatever reason, you've got to take all your work with you. All your written words, your audio, your video. Taking it with us? Books, whatever.

Everything that you've created, it's got to go with you to the next world, wherever it's going. Okay. So there's no more access to it. Okay. But you have a piece of paper and a pen to write down three things you know to be true about your entire life and the lessons you learned that you would share with the world as your final three lessons to the world. Okay. That they would have to remember you by, but also as kind of like a guide for their life. Okay. What would you say are your three truths? Not trying to squirrel out this. They would all, it would be this. Everything is figureoutable. Everything is figureoutable.

Oh, and by the way, everything is figureoutable. I'm not kidding. There you go. Those are good. It would. It would be it. Okay, perfect. Simple.

And final question is, what's your definition of greatness? My definition of greatness, inspired by how I see success, inspired by the great Maya Angelou. Success is liking who I am, liking what I do, and liking how I do it. So I think greatness is an expression of that, an extension of that, of liking who you are, liking what you do, and liking how you do it. I think if those things are aligned, any one of us can feel that sense of greatness. Marie Forleo, love it. Thank you.

Thank you. Appreciate it. Thank you. Thank you. Appreciate it. There you have it, my friend. I hope you enjoyed this episode. Big fan of Marie Forleo. And if you have not checked her stuff out yet, make sure to subscribe. Make sure to get her new book. Follow her on social media and share this episode with one friend. Text a friend who you think this might help through the wisdom and the knowledge and the lessons that Marie shares here today. Post it on your Instagram story. Tag Marie Forleo. Tag myself, Lewis Howes.

And you can be a champion. You can be a hero to someone today by sending them this free resource and helping them improve their business, their life, their relationships. And that's what this is all about, to help people grow and reach their potential. And as you know, when you reach your potential, there's always more potential to be found and to be created after that. So this is a never ending process. You're an amazing human being. I'm so happy that you decided to show up for yourself today to improve your life, to improve your business, to improve the wisdom that's already within you so that you can take actions on your

dreams and reach your potential. Charles Schultz said, there is no heavier burden than an unfulfilled potential. Don't let the burden of wasting your life away hold you back anymore. You can take the steps each day. You can fail. You can make mistakes, but just keep moving forward so you don't have that burden weighing on your chest. I love you so very much, and you know what time it is. It's time to go out there and do something great. Outro Music