The School of Greatness - 867 Brotherhood of Emotions

Episode Date: October 25, 2019

WRESTLING WITH YOUR FEELINGS. Being an elite athlete comes with rewards. People who work hard and dedicate themselves to their craft deserve the fruits of their labor. They train hard and make painful sacrifices to achieve their goals. The money, the fans, the praise, and the accolades come with being the best in your field. But what is the cost? What have you sacrificed to achieve your dream? Outside of your profession, are you able to deal with life and the challenges it presents? If you sacrificed your emotions in the process, you’ll have to figure out a way to make yourself whole again. We must make sure we’re at our best physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Often that takes just as much work as being great at our craft. For this Five Minute Friday, I revisited a conversation I had with Randy Couture about brotherhood in sports, emotional breakdowns, and the psychology of a professional fighter. Randy has fought in 16 title fights and has six UFC title reigns in the Lightweight and Heavyweight divisions. He also became the 4th pro fighter to be inducted into the UFC Hall of Fame. In addition to his stellar standing in combat sports, Randy is also a successful businessman, actor, and best-selling author. Learn how to stay mentally healthy and emotionally available in Episode 867. In This Episode You Will Learn: The power of brotherhood and support during tough times. (2:00) The dangers that come with suppressing emotions. (3:00) Why acting helps you to deal with your feelings. (4:20) How holding back your emotions can be a detriment and ruin relationships. (5:02) If you enjoyed this episode, check out the show notes, more at http://lewishowes.com/867, and follow me on http://instagram.com/lewishowes

This is 5-Minute Friday! Welcome everyone to this incredible episode with Randy Couture. I'm so excited about this. I did not want to stop this conversation. I had so much fun and enjoyed how far Randy went in this episode and how much he talked about. We talked a lot about many things. But for those who don't know who Randy is,

he's a former collegiate wrestler turned UFC fighter turned superstar actor. And he is best known for starring in all three of the Expendables, Ambushed, and The Scorpion King 2. He also served as a four-time u.s olympic wrestling team alternate and is a six-time world heavyweight and light heavyweight ufc champion and hall of famer now he also served as a soldier in the u.s army and he did that before he actually went into the ufc so he served for many years and then it wasn't until his late 20s and early 30s when he got into the UFC, when most people actually start retiring at that age. And he is the first of only

two fighters to hold two UFC championship titles in two different divisions. Now he is known as one of the roughest, toughest guys in the world. And also I was so touched by his generosity, his calmness, his love, his joy. I mean, he is an amazing human being. He's more than what it looks like on the surface. This is the first time you saw, I guess, boys, men cry when they hit their breaking point, wrestling in these 90-minute sessions. What was that like when you'd see, was this a lot of people would do this or a few people would break down and cry when they hit their breaking point wrestling in these 90-minute sessions. What was that like when you'd see, was this a lot of people would do this or a few people would break down and cry? I saw it a couple times. It doesn't happen.

What would happen in the room when you saw that? Were people accepting of that or were they like quit being, quit crying and stuff? No, that's the thing. Good training partners, your teammates, guys that you know you can trust. Again, when you find yourself in that situation where you can't go anymore, where you just literally emotionally break, they're going to pick you up. They're going to help you go further, help you get through it. And that's what we do for each other.

So it was more about support and love and connection, not like being a pussy. No, it was more about support and love and connection, not like being a pussy. No, I mean, no, it was never like that. You're never going to chastise that guy because that could be you tomorrow. Right. You don't know. Interesting. So you really were embracing that experience. Yeah, you had to.

That's cool. We're all struggling with it. A 90-minute match is a long match. We're all struggling. We're all fighting the same fight. And so on any given day, that could be you. And you realize that. There's a recognition of that vulnerability, of that potential, of that wall, that barrier.

And we're all trying to push it back. But we're all fighting it. Do you ever feel like you had to suppress emotions when you're fighting? Like, I have to be tough and strong. I can't show my emotion. Absolutely. Really?

I think we learn to box things up as athletes. We learn to stuff things, put them to the side and stay on task, stay focused on what we need to do to go out and be effective and win uh how do that that's what's weird about acting now you have to express yeah they want that and i've spent my entire life and i had that tendency anyway yes uh to to stuff things and not be terribly open and gregarious with my emotions. Sure, sure. I think even as a kid.

So I spent a ton of time boxing it all up, pushing it to the side, staying focused on what I needed to do. And now I'm supposed to just let all that out. Like this is weird. Prior command. Yeah, this is weird. Do you feel like boxing the the emotions that that held you back in any way or that was the only way to be successful i think that's where it turned where

it it had a detriment and and affected my personal relationships uh do you feel like you could have died i had an adversity and maybe it was because of the type of personality that my mom was and that my dad wasn't there i didn't have an an example in the house on how to deal, especially with those kind of confrontations, those emotional type of confrontations. And so I boxed all that up and just not engaged at all. I didn't like that kind of confrontation, which is weird for a guy that gets in a cage and punches people in the face

to be afraid of that kind of confrontation. An emotional confrontation. Yeah, I couldn't deal with that. Really really hated it and and had an aversion to it and would do anything to avoid it and a lot of times would stick my head in the sand and not deal with issues not deal with problems and that's i think you know i was good at it as an athlete and i think being good at it in life that wasn't good good. Things got bigger. Things festered. They got to a point where they're insurmountable. You can't get over them.

The connection's so fractured and broken that you can't fix it. And it ended up walking away. Hey guys, if you enjoyed this inspirational clip from a past episode of the show, then you'll love the free book I'm giving away right now. It's called The Millionaire Morning. It includes some of my best tips for starting off your day with a millionaire mindset. Get your free copy at themillionairemorning.com and just pay shipping. Again, check it out right now, themillionairemorning.com.