The School of Greatness - 934 The Power of Your Voice and How It Can Change the World with IN-Q

Episode Date: March 30, 2020

“Nothing in the world can open up your heart like giving it to someone else.”QUESTIONSWhat do you really want in life? (1:03)How has love, loss, forgiveness and transformation impacted you in your life? (19:32)Do you feel you love yourself more now than ever before? (30:30)How has being in love helped you in your art? (37:00)Why do you think poetry is getting its comeback? (42:25)Who have you had to forgive the most? (47:40)Where do you think you would be if your dad was loving and supportive? (48:56)Where do you think poetry is going in the next ten years? (49:56)Why does it seem in life that we need something drastic to happen to change? (56:43)YOU WILL LEARNHow to accept who you are (6:22)Why being positive in the bad times is essential in intimacy (14:32)In-Q shares some of his best poems (21:30-30:15)What happens when we first start dating (34:12)Why wanting love and validation is an important part of dating (37:40)The difference between codependent love and unconditional love (40:50)What happens when people get up to use their voice (51:25)The two halves of IN-Q’s new book and what they mean (1:00:00)LINKS MENTIONEDInquire WithinIf you enjoyed this episode, show notes and more at http://www.lewishowes.com/934 and follow at instagram.com/lewishowes

This is episode number 934 with National Poetry Slam champion and award-winning poet in queue Welcome to the school of greatness My name is Lewis Howes a former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur and each week we bring you an inspiring person or message To help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin. Eleanor Roosevelt said, speak your mind even though your voice shakes. Have you ever just had something on your mind and on your heart that you need to get out

into the world, that you want people to hear, that you know you need to say, but you might be afraid to say it? Well, there's a reason why you have that inside of you. It's because it's part of your story. It's a part of your journey. It's a part of your gift, your talent, your dream. And hopefully in this episode, it'll give you the inspiration, the courage to truly go after what you want, to truly say the things you need to say in your relationships, in your career, and in your life to bring your dreams into the world, into its fullest existence. And we've got my good friend NQ, who is a National Poetry Slam champion, award-winning poet, and multi-platinum songwriter.

His groundbreaking achievements include being named to Oprah's Super Soul 100 list of the world's most influential thought leaders, being the first spoken word artist to perform with Cirque du Soleil, and being featured on A&E, ESPN, and HBO's Deaf Poetry Jam. He's inspired audiences around the world through his live performances and storytelling workshops, which are incredible. He's performed at, I think, almost every Summit of Greatness we've had,

and he's got four standing ovations the last Summit of Greatness last year at the end of a two-day intense weekend. And he is just a man on a mission. Many of his recent poetry videos have gone viral with over 70 million views combined. And as a songwriter, he's got hit singles with Selena Gomez that went multi-platinum. He's written with renowned artists, including Aloe Blacc, Miley Cyrus, Mike Posner, Foster the People, and his songs have accumulated over 1 billion views

on YouTube alone. And he's got a new book out called Inquire Within. It's coming out right now, and I highly recommend you get this because in this new book, we talk about the difference between codependent love and unconditional love in this interview and the poetry that he writes about this as well. We also dive into his take on the major problems in the world today and how we can come together to solve them. The power of using your voice and how you can inspire others to use theirs as well because leaders create other leaders. And he opens up about his relationship with his father and how his absence inspired his

poetry today. That and so much more. I am so excited for you to listen to this. Please share. Please send it to a friend. Text them this link over on Apple or Spotify or just text the link lewishouse.com slash 934 to get this spread to as many people as possible to inspire them during this time. And I'm so excited about this.

So let's dive into this episode with the one and only, NQ. And so when I teach people, like what is it specifically you want? Like your personal life, your health, the relationships, what are the energy, the feelings that you want? What's the numbers you have in your bank account? Like let's get specific because then you can break it down and figure out how to make it happen And then you take your own medicine. So that was yours. Exactly. So I was like, what do I really want? Right?

This is probably five or six years ago. I don't know if it was before you but it was I was like You know people say they want to change the world then they want to reach billions of people and I'm like, okay What's a big dream that is? unrealistic but It's realistic in some ways? 100 million people in a week. I was just like, that is a big, scary number. Like, who am I, this little kid from Ohio, to say he wants to impact 100 million people a week? But who is anyone to do anything?

Exactly. And I was just like, that feels good to me, 100 million people. Because I think we had maybe a million downloads a month at the time, you know, whatever, years ago. I was like, okay, if we can get a million a month to like a hundred a month and then a hundred a week, then you're making a dent on the world in a big way. You're really changing culture, humanity, if you're impacting and reaching that many people a week

and having conversations around. Do you feel that when it happens? if you're impacting and reaching that many people a week and having conversations around. Do you feel that when it happens? Like, do you feel where you're at now? Do you feel the impact now? People will message me. Someone messaged me actually this morning on LinkedIn and said, Louis, I've been following you for 12 years

since I've been on LinkedIn. They've been following me. And they they're like because I announced that I have this movie coming out right tomorrow night and they said it's been amazing to watch your trajectory of how far you've come and the impact you're having on people people are texting me that all the time right now because of this movie is coming out and I think when you're in it you don't see as much until you take a moment to reflect right and inquire within about how far you've come. And so it's hard when you're in it because it's like 12 years has passed since I stopped playing football.

Right. Now I'm here, but it's like I've done, I've worked my butt off for 12 years. Yeah. And so. Do you find that time to stop and like Conjure what you've accomplished and every night I reflect and I'm grateful for everything I have in my life and for that day and I think I also if I go back to like

24 year old Lewis 23 year old Lewis who was like broke on my sister's couch or whatever. And if I was like, one day I'm going to impact 5 million people a month. Right. I'd have been like, that's crazy. Right. To think. You wouldn't have believed it. I'd have been like, that's crazy. Yeah.

And I was like, I wonder how. How is it going to happen? And it's almost like you have to reverse engineer the dream in your mind and just say, okay, well, this needs to happen. And you got to write a New York Times bestseller because that's going to get attention. Right. And then you got to do a movie. And then you got to get on some big press like Ellen. And then it's like, okay, who do I need to become

in order to make those things happen? What skills do I need to learn? Who do I need to meet? How do I need to take care of my health? Like all those things need to happen in order for those dreams to be manifested. So then it's just figuring out, okay, who do I get to become

do you ever feel like i mean we can get started too but she's rolling i mean do you do you ever feel like well let me say this before i ask the question someone said this to me the other day and unfortunately it resonated you know what i mean yeah said, this could be the best time of your life if you weren't always waiting for it to be over. And I thought that was a very, very deep concept. If you weren't waiting for what to be over? Whatever the moment is. If you're in the moment, you're thinking about, like, why I'm in the moment, what it is that I need to do or accomplish to move forward, do you miss your life?

And do you look back on these periods and think, wow, that was the best time of my life, but I was trying to get somewhere. As opposed to being in the moment. Being here. And appreciating and just- Completely. Not thinking about the future. Completely.

And I'll say why I feel that way is because sometimes I'll set things up and then I forget that I made the decision to do this thing. And I show up and I feel obligated. Like I have to get through this in order to accomplish something or whatever. And I'm not fully being present to where I am. And so that's the dichotomy. It's like having goals in the material world and then simultaneously not looking outside of myself for validation or not thinking that there's something out there in the future that will make me feel whole and being present to what's actually happening where I am. So that was the question I was going to ask you. I mean, do you ever feel like that? Because if you accomplish everything

you want to accomplish in 20 years, will you look back and think, I was truly there? I was truly there. I think one of my superpowers since I was young was the ability to have fun in every moment. And there's a, I say that, but also, every time I achieved in a goal until I was like 30, I would achieve it and I was happy for a moment and then I was like angry. Because I think I was like 30, I would achieve it and I was happy for a moment and then I was like angry. Because I think I was driven towards the achievement

of feeling like, okay, I made it, but then I never felt like I made it. So I was like, well, I gotta go for something bigger. I gotta make more, I gotta accomplish something else. And it wasn't until I was about 30 when I started to shift that. But I was always having fun in the moment too. Like I'm a guy who can,

you've seen me at like Summit Series, just like dancing in the middle of the night. Just like, I can not, I don't drink alcohol. And I can just be fun and just make something fun in any moment. Yeah, for sure. You know, whenever we're together, it's just like, we'll just laugh or whatever.

So I can do that. And I think I've had that gift from childhood. I don't know why. It's just to always like have be a child childlike energy in moments, so I really appreciate I Guess that ability to have fun, but I used to be so driven to get acceptance from my accomplishments That I was never happy with the accomplishments. Mm-hmm Because I don't think I was ever happy with who I was right and I was never really proud of myself has that shifted now like do you feel like you can

take ownership over it shifted a lot because I think I've I've always been really I mean I feel like I've always done a good job in my life of being a good person, but I think sometimes I let myself down. And over the last year, I really woke up to the fact of like, okay, I wanna do everything. I'm gonna be proud of myself when people aren't watching, when no one's watching, when no one's on social media to see me do something, when no one's around me.

Like if I was watching myself, if the best version of myself was always watching me, would I be proud of who I am? And so I've dedicated this last year and really since meeting my girlfriend, Jeanette, she's elevated me to think that way. She doesn't like pressure me to think that way. I think I'm just like called forth to think that way

because I want to really make her proud. And I want to make myself proud. That's beautiful. So I remember she told me one time early on when we started dating, she was like, I want you to make me a promise. Pause. And she goes, because I was going through some stuff in a previous relationship and a lot of stuff in a previous relationship,

and a lot of stuff was out there publicly, people spreading rumors and gossip or whatever. And so there's just a lot of questions floating around about what happened or whatnot. And I was like telling her everything. I was like, I'm not going to hide anything. Here's the stuff I'm proud of. Here's the stuff I'm not proud of. Here's everything.

Take it or leave it. That's love. Take it or leave it. Yeah. Right? And she was like totally accepting me. And she was like, I understand. Like, I get it. You. Here's everything. Take it or leave it. That's love. Take it or leave it. Yeah. Right? And she was like totally accepting me. And she was like, I understand. Like, I get it.

You're an amazing man. You have a great heart. And I was like, oh, you know, cry. I'm not a bad guy, you know. And then she goes, I want you to make a promise to me. Pause. And she goes, I want you to always tell me the truth about everything. Yeah.

And I'm sitting to myself. the truth about everything yeah and i'm sitting myself i go you sure because i've never been in a relationship where i've said the truth and someone didn't freak out or get angry or react or get so emotional or they couldn't handle the truth right i'm not saying you need to be happy about the truth but to be able to handle it. And I said, you sure? Because there's thoughts I might have, there's things I might say, things I might do that you may not like. And just being honest.

She goes, I always want you to tell me I can handle it. I go, you sure? She said, yes. And in that moment, I just said to myself, I'm always gonna tell her the truth. I like sat there for like 20 seconds and I was like, okay, I'm a 35 year old man. I don't think I've ever fully told a hundred percent of the truth in one person. There might be like a couple little

white lies, like just forgetting to say something just to not cause stress. But I was like, I'm going to tell you the truth. And I've done that with her for the last year. And it's been amazing because I don't feel like I have anything to worry, to hide. Right. And it's like amazing because I don't feel like I have anything to work to hide right and it's like if you don't make the energy That takes energy to hide and also if she doesn't accept the truth about me, right? When I'm living at the highest level that I can live right then maybe we're not the right fit Yeah, and that's okay, and I can be okay with that because I did everything in my power To be a hundred percent integrity and you want that from her absolutely that truth from absolutely and it's been crazy because she is probably The relationship that I that I'm in

She should probably be for me the most I should be the most insecure that I've ever been with someone in the most jealous Because she gets me she gets a lot of she gets messaged by like the biggest celebrities in the world. Every other day, she's like, here's who hit me in the DM today. Like the biggest names. You can think of like anyone. It seems like they all message her. And I'm just laughing and none of it affects me. Not one person who's messaged her, not one billionaire or mega celebrity or whatever.

I'm not like threatened by or anything. Because you're telling the truth. I'm telling the truth. I'm giving her my all. Right. And I'm like, if it's not enough for you, then it's not the right fit. But that's why it has to be self- And I'm going to be okay.

That's why it has to be self-love. Exactly. Before it's love in a relationship. I feel, this is the first time I feel 100% self-love for myself. Yeah. Where I am, I don't want us to break up. I want to be with her. But I'm not going to sacrifice my own love for myself.

And by the way, just once again, build that bridge. You love her and you like her. You're her man, but you're also her friend. And so you want the same thing for her. I want her to be happy. If her truth doesn't match up for whatever reason. Then find another great relationship

and I want the best for you. It's unconditional love. I want the best for her. And I'm going to be fine. She's going to be fine. By the way, it's easy to say. It's hard to do. It's easy to say.

But you can't do it unless you say it. You know? That's it. I think that's the thing. It's like we've been in the transition. She's moved in. It's been a big, like, change for her.

And I'm just like, I'm so committed to the process. I'm so committed to being patient and understanding and compassionate. Yeah. Loving her when there's stress or overwhelm for her or confusion. And not getting defensive or any of these things. or confusion and not getting defensive or any of these things. And I feel like, you know, okay, if we go through this and it's consistent like this for two years,

it's not gonna last. It's just, I can't handle it for two years of this like chaos. So I know there's gonna be- But there's seasons like everything. There's gonna be seasons, it's gonna be over. But if it didn't be over, I would say, babe, I love you, I gave you everything.

And I want the best for you. And you deserve, you know, I deserve something different and so do you. Right. If you're not happy and I'm not happy, we shouldn't be together. There's, there are things in relationships that are non-negotiable and there are things that are negotiable. Yeah. And only you will know what's negotiable and what's non-negotiable. And, you know, certain things, seasons, you know, you're going to go through them it's very very natural and if you think that you're not right then you're actually not going to be committed to seeing what new truth can arise out of each of you individually and as you know out of the relationship but then there are also certain things that will end up being unsustainable. Yeah. And it's like, you know, only you will know.

Some things, I mean, things can last for a season. They can't last for like multiple seasons back to back to back of chaos, you know. So I'm curious for you, you've been in a relationship for two years now. Pause. What's been the biggest challenge? What's been the thing that's brought you together the most? Was it the beautiful moments in romance on a vacation or looking at the stars? You know, or was it when you went through something, you know, when your cat died and there was like a traumatic event that realized you brought you closer?

What would you say? I would say both. I mean, both have been equally as important because if I had one without the other, it might have been unsustainable, you know, like, or at least if everything was amazing all of the time, it would just be that. But the challenges that we've gone through together

has deepened our relationships very very much so like I really you know learning how to be with a partner and the good times is really important but learning how you both show up in the bad times is necessary for a more life-long relationship it's easy to be positive in the good times it's hard to be positive in the good times. It's hard to be positive during chaos. Yeah. Or accept that you're not going to be positive in that moment and to fully be with the other person. And learn to forgive if someone says something or hurts you.

Yeah. You know, intimacy is quite the process. But there's nothing else in the world that can open up your heart like giving it to someone else and allowing them to, you know, hold on to it for a little while. I would say this is probably the best space

you've been in your entire life. You're 40, you're 41? 41. 41. I've known you for what, 8, 9 years maybe your entire life. You're 40? You're 41? 41. 41. I've known you for, what, eight, nine years maybe? Eight years? Seven, eight? It's been a minute.

When did we first meet? Do you remember? I saw you at Summit. I know it was at Summit, but I don't remember what year. On stage, I think. It was a small event at Eden for the first time, and I came up to you afterwards. Right afterwards. Right afterwards.

I've only been to Eden once right afterwards it was i've only been eaten once but it was like a small room i don't know if they still have this building there if this was before the mountain yeah it was before the mountain but anyways it was kind of like a little cave room yeah it was in between yes the mountains at the top uh was that the other resort i think yeah it was right in between and you did a little session I think there was only like 30 people in the room at the time it was like a small intimate thing

and I was like who is this human being when was that 2012 maybe I think it was like 7 years ago 2013 maybe and I was just like captivated by your energy

and your creativity and your artistry and you've had I mean you've had some good years, but I feel like the last couple of years you've been in the most calm space. Yeah, for sure. Even though you had a crazy cat. I did have a crazy cat.

But even that was a huge lesson for me. Yeah, you had to surrender, right? Yeah. Well, it was also, we had gotten this cat and he was this amazing, amazing cat named Marley. And he was bananas, man cat named Marley and uh he was bananas man jumping all the walls jumping all over like he just he wanted as much of life as he possibly could have and at times he would annoy me I'd be like dude Marley man like chill out you know and then he ended up getting a kidney thing, and his kidneys didn't grow. He was a kitten,

and so his kidneys didn't grow with the rest of his body, and he went into a kidney failure, and we had to put him down, and that was a lesson for her and I, just how we dealt with it together, but also he taught me a lesson that you know here I was like annoyed at him because he was trying to get as much of life as possible but there was there must have been a part of him that knew he wasn't going to be around for a very long

time and you know if if I had known that at the time I would have given him whatever he wanted to eat I would have played with him literally as much as possible. And that's a lesson that I certainly want to bring into the future. It's something that I held on to. We don't know how long we're going to be here. We don't know, man. We don't know. How did the Kobe death affect you?

Well, I mean, Kobe was... You grew up in L.A. Yeah. I mean, Colby was the symbol of, like, invincibility, I would say. And so for him to pass in such a shocking way made everyone stop. We were the exact same age. So, you know, when I see 1978, 2000, it makes me reflect on my own journey as well. The other interesting thing was it was the same night of the Grammys in Los Angeles and in the same building that was really his building. And you could feel it even watching it on television. I've been to the Grammys twice and I was watching on television and his passing cut through the spectacle, it cut through the illusion,

and there was a deeper presence to everyone who took the stage that night, because mortality was front of mind. In this amazing book that you have, which is a collection of all your poems, Inquire Within, you say you talk about issues of love, loss, forgiveness, forgiveness transformation and belief which one of those five universal issues

have you deepened in the last year the most love loss forgiveness transformation and belief which one has impacted you the most or risen to the forefront the most? I mean, definitely love, you know, and that's the overarching theme of everyone's life is learning how to love throughout all of the ups and downs and coming back to love. But I would say love and, you know, all of them have deepened you know i mean we should be so lucky to have all of these major themes of life continue to deepen over time um yeah what's the greatest love poem that you think you have is it the 85 or the one in the home which one um it's one that i'm actually working on right now a new one yeah i have a new one is it is it finished yet no it's not in the book of the ones in the book what's the greatest love poem um probably 85 or uh when

it's right both of those i think i'm i'm really happy with and i wrote them at different stages of my life um but they were a manifestation at the time that i wrote them. They were almost like exploring what I would want. And now it's really beautiful to be able to be living some of the poems that I wrote. So you wrote these poems as kind of like dream lives. Yeah. You're like, I want to have this in the future because you didn't have it.

Yeah, for sure. I mean, all of my poems is, they're prayers. I'm talking to myself, you know, like they're reminders to myself of the life that I want to live. And so then when I get an opportunity to get up and share them with other people, I'm talking to myself first. And almost people are observing me doing that to myself, and hopefully seeing their own humanity in that mirror. Which one do you want to share with us? Which love poem?

You pick. What's the second one you said? When It's Right. When It's Right. Have I heard that one? I'm sure you have at some point. 85 is always so good. But let's hear the When It's Right. Okay. Have I heard that one? I'm sure you have. Probably have. At some point. Yeah.

85 is always so good. But let's hear the When It's Right. Okay. When It's Right. Falling in love is like finding a home in the heart of a person that you've never known. It's the waiting for the ring of the phone when you're alone or making them a mixtape of all your favorite songs. Remember how it felt? When their touch made you melt. When their presence made you a better version of

yourself. When your bed was like an island in the middle of the sea and their eyes were the only sunset you could see. When their smile was enough to inspire a forever in this lifetime of learning how to love each other better. It's beyond words. It's knowing how she takes her tea. It is knowing when to challenge her and when to let her be. It is knowing when to hold her and when to set her free. It is chemistry and honesty, empathy, integrity, and humility.

It is calling when I'm going to be late or giving her the last bite of cake from my plate. It is going on vacations and walking along the beach. It's the sound that she makes when she laughs in her sleep. It is real, especially when it's hard. Because we have chosen to reveal who we really are. Beautiful with all our scars. You're like a sky of stars. I've never felt as infinite as when you're in my arms. I'd never felt as intimate as when I was in your charms. I'd never met someone and instantly knew I belonged.

I'd never met someone and instantly knew I belonged. So now the songs on the radio are making more sense. And every rom-com movie seems more intense. I'm having dreams that I'm painting her a picket fence. Our kids are playing on the lawn, still in innocence, picturesque in every sense. It's like a Norman Rockwell. It feels so real. A modern fairy tale with a pool and barbecue grill. We'll have a two-car garage and every week she'll get a gift certificate for one free foot massage. And when we've had a hard day, we'll go and walk it off.

And when we've had a hard night, we'll get some Haagen-Dazs. We'll put our goals on a list and then we'll cross them off. I'll take some pics of our kids, then print them up and make a Mother's Day collage or send her flowers just because her skin is the closest that I've been to God. See, love is like a long ladder up to heaven. It's like a dance where you move apart and then come back together. It is sunshine and stormy weather because you would never know the one unless you knew the other. And in the end, you'll be old and gray with a pair of rocking chairs and some grandma on yay grandkids on a grand piano in the foyer photographs of your family filling the hallway and

everybody in the neighborhood will ask you for advice so you'll slowly lean and you'll look around twice then you'll whisper real light like it was the secret to your life. When you know, you know. Because when it's right, it's right. I want to fall in love at 85. Go on shuffleboard dates and dance to hip-hop from 95. We would also listen to the song Staying Alive, but only for the message. Otherwise we'd keep away from disco, it's depressing.

We'd rock matching tracksuits and rope gold chains. We'd look like Run-D.M.C. but in their old age. We'd take aerobics classes and wear bifocal glasses and eat at IHOP and hold hands at Sunday masses and when it comes to the bedroom, well, nothing much would happen in the bedroom because we're 85. But we would still be down to take a walk or take a drive or sit and talk and have a drink, watch the passersby, ask each other why and how and who and where and when, and then we'd laugh and cry again about the people we had been. And I would touch her withered skin and comment on how thin it is to keep in something infinite. And she would smile sweet and blush and tell me that I think too much.

She's right. I think too much. It's always been a problem. But then again, that's how I made my green like the goblin. When I was in my 20s I was eating Top Ramen, counting up my pennies, saving up to go food shopping. But now I'm 85 and somehow I feel more alive. I turn my hearing aid up and bump Jurassic 5. I read the sports page while she peruses classifieds. We like antique stores, garage sales, and barter buys. And when it comes to the bedroom, well, hopefully, every once in a while, she lets me knock her boots into the floral patterns of our bedpost, then hold her head close like death isn't chasing us, planning on erasing

us and replacing us with better versions of us, reshaping us, remaking us, then recreating us with new identities so we can make new memories. Hush little baby, learn to walk and talk and think and lie and feel and fight and love and die and never get the answers why. She dips a joint of grass and wheatgrass and we get high. Her hair is silver as the moon in the Miami sky. We still pop pills, but it's not the molly anymore.

Whenever we can't sleep, we listen to the ocean floor. She got a sound of the sea CD for me from the Brookstone store. And ever since I've been snoring like a really good metaphor for snoring. for snoring. Sorry, I go blank sometimes. What? I'm 85. I'm not complaining. I'm just happy that I'm still alive and happy that I have my better half by my side. Superfly. She doesn't look a day over 75. When I first saw her, I was totally in awe. She was classical, so I was like, yo yo ma! And that was all it took. A single look and I was shook. I fell for her like some loose shingles from our Spanish roof. And I'm a lover till she loses every last root and has to glue dentures to her gums to chew solid food. Ooh. Now that's real love, dude. That's some push comes to shove love. Not when it's convenient, love. Hospital bed, love.

Feed her ice chips, love. Never leave the room, love. Sleeping in the chair, love. Pray to up above, love. Have to pull the plug, love Miss her in my bones, love Everything about her, love Die within a month, love Can't live without her, love

Love The only reason that we're alive live without her love. Love. The only reason that we're alive. And none of us should have to wait until we're 85. My man. It's amazing, man. You always get me emotional with that. Thank you. That was two poems back to back, right? I just kind of rolled, man. It's amazing, man.

You always get me emotional with that. Thank you. That was two poems back to back, right? I just kind of wove on that. I saw that. Do you feel like you feel more love for yourself and are willing to receive more love now than ever before? Yeah. Let me ask you, though, what makes you emotional about it?

I think I'm just a sensitive person in general. Yeah, so the story of really caring about someone for that long and Being there for them through all the different challenges having all the fun Being high on life and then not being able to do certain things anymore, but talking about it. Mm-hmm and then having to have her leave, for me it's very sad to think of that moment for someone to be gone when you have so much love for them.

It's a part of the human experience. It's kind of what makes everything so beautiful is that we have to deal with loss if loss wasn't a part of life you know we wouldn't appreciate the moments and the love that we have have you had a lot a lot of loss um i've had my share yeah did you feel like because you didn't grow up with your dad, did you feel like you lost? He was around, but you didn't see him, right? He wasn't around.

But I mean, he was alive. He was alive, yeah. But you didn't see him for 15 years or something, is that right? I met him for the first time when I was 15. That's crazy. Yeah, yeah. So how do you create a sense of love and safety in a relationship if your father was never there? How did you learn that?

Various degrees of success and failure. Probably more failure, you know, but each time I learned a little bit more about what intimacy was to me and how I was showing up in ways that I wanted to improve and then how I wasn't showing up. and how I was showing up in ways that I wanted to improve and then how I wasn't showing up. You know, the first time I went out with my girlfriend, at the end of the night, we were sitting on a porch and we were like having tea. And she asked me, she was like,

"'So how old are you?' And I was like, I guess I was 39. And I said, I'm 39. She goes, okay. She said, you've never been married. I said, no. And she said, you don't have any kids. And I was like, no.

And then she stopped for a second and then she goes, why? And what she was basically asking was, what's wrong with you? And by the way, she should have been asking that question. Right. It was a totally appropriate question for her to ask. But I wasn't going to answer that.

Right. I didn't feel good about answering that. So I actually said, you know, I'm uncomfortable answering that. i actually said you know i'm uncomfortable answering that and then we had this like awkward moment now what are you talking about you know and um that was that and the date kind of ended and now you know two years later i know the answer to that and it was because i was waiting to feel like it was right. And those

poems, as I said, they were manifestations for what I wanted to create in my life. But at the time the answer to that would have been scary because I wasn't sure why I'd waited. You know I had been with amazing women but I wasn't able to say I wanted to take the long walk. And I didn't quite feel like I had found home. When did you know it felt like home with your current girlfriend? You know, okay, when people get into relationships at the beginning, they tend to just project onto each other.

And I have done this over and over and over again. onto each other. And I have done this over and over and over again, where you meet someone and, you know, they have a few points, you know, like almost like data points that you say, that's what I want. And you see those points and then you just fill in the rest, you know, with your own illusion, right? Your own projection. And they do the exact same thing. And then you're not even really meeting each other. You have an expectation. Yes. That's not met.

Exactly. On both sides. Well, but that doesn't usually come up for a while. Because at the beginning in this honeymoon phase. It's been coming up now for me. Right. Well, it always does. Wait, no, I don't have that expectation.

It always does. It's communicated,ates yeah because then what winds up happening is we resent the other person for not living up to our unspoken and imaginary expectation that they're supposed to know and live up to or be you know that's why when you are with someone you mirror mirror them right away. If you like someone, you start to mirror everybody. You're doing all the dancing, and that's what a first date is. And ultimately, that stuff winds up unfolding. I will say with the woman that I'm with now, we spent a long enough time dating without putting that expectation on each other. We both had other things that we were working through in our lives. And so we didn't put that pressure on our connection.

And honestly, it's the first time that I've ever done that. And so by the time I fell in love with her and I knew I was starting to fall in love with her I knew her like I already knew who she was it wasn't this projection or this fantasy you know you know the things you liked about it things you didn't like about her the everything yeah I mean I didn't know everything so I'm we're two years deep and I'm still learning an enormous amount. But definitely I knew who I was falling in love with, not my fantasy of who I was falling in love with. Or just the best parts of it or whatever.

Exactly. And so I think, I don't know how that relates back to the father question that you initially asked. I mean, if I was to answer that, I would say intimacy has always been a really big issue for me. And learning how to be intimate has been one of the biggest gifts for not only my romantic life and my personal life, but also for my career and also for my art. How has being in love helped you in your art and on stage perform differently? Well, you know, it's interesting, in the same way that you want something from a relationship at the beginning and you start to project, really ultimately it's about wanting

love and validation. Somebody that you think is attractive being attracted to you, having this imagination of this life partner and then saying, well, I'm ready so this person has to be that. When I get up in front of an audience I still want to be liked of course I still want them to love my work I still want them to validate my ego you know people talk about getting rid of your ego you can't get rid of your ego your ego is a part of your humanity right but you can learn how to not navigate from it you know or or operate from that place. Yeah, exactly. So I would say when I used to get up in front of an audience,

I was more performing to them. And I almost would, in doing that, even if they were totally connected to what I was saying, it would make them lean back. And I had all of these tricks that I would use that I learned along the way techniques yeah that would make an amazing show but they actually were getting in the way of the ultimate communication and so once that self-love started to kick in, and a lot of that was and is continuing to be learned in the relationship, when I'm in front of an audience now, I can acknowledge that I do want them to be connected to what I'm saying.

But I don't try to control their experience. I'm much more energetically contained. I'm much more energetically contained. You know, if you even think about like what a single person is like, you're out in the world and oftentimes if you're looking for a partner, your energy is going all over the place, man. You know, I mean, it's like you see somebody you're attracted to and you give them your energy and you don't even know who the fuck they are. You know, you're like giving your energy and you don't even know who the fuck they are right you know you're like giving your energy away you know my energy is very contained now in my romantic life i don't

give it away at all i could see someone and say oh that's an attractive person but i don't give them my energy and i suppose when you're single you might be giving it to lots of different people or even fantasizing within yourself right you know and i don't that at all you know and i would say it's the same thing for being on the on the stage i don't want to split my energy you know even if weirdly enough man if and i'm i'm really branching out on this answer, but if I used to see someone in the audience that I perceived that was not into it, I would give them my energy. And be like, I'm going to make you into it. Exactly.

I'm going to captivate you. Exactly. Stare at them. Yeah. Go walk up next to them and get them engaged. It's exhausting to do that. Focusing on the people that are giving you their energy. Or just focusing on myself, which allows the audience to then lean in.

Because who am I to tell them how to think or how to feel or whether or not to enjoy this or whether or not to like me? Yeah, and you might have an expectation of what you want the audience to respond to. And when they don't do it, it might affect you or might have affected you. Exactly. And then I'm not actually in the moment. to respond to and when they don't do it, it might affect you or might have affected you. Exactly, and then I'm not actually in the moment. I'm not actually there. And so in that way, I think it's the difference between codependent love and unconditional love.

What I'm trying to do with my audience right now is unconditionally love myself and unconditionally love them. How do you do that before you go on stage then? How do you step into loving yourself and not expecting a response at different moments or a standing ovation or laughter or whatever? I think it's just the awareness of it. I don't think that there's anything to do.

I think it's more that it's a reminder so that it's something I can be and what do you need to be present I mean I wrote all of these things because I was inspired or I was moved or I was annoyed they all come from a place of truth mm-hmm and so it's the same thing that you were talking about with your partner you know she gave you the permission to be truthful yeah or the invitation to be truthful and you wanted the same thing from her i am the uh vehicle and the obstacle to these poems coming into the world i'm the vehicle because they have to come through my experience and i have to be there to give them away or someone has to buy this book, inquire within,

to be able to experience it. But I'm also the obstacle because those needs that I have can get in the way of the communication of that truth. And the poems have something that they wanna say. So I wanna try to be of service to that as much as I can. Why do you think poetry is getting this comeback? It's like it's more mainstream now. Yeah.

There's different poets who are writing books that are becoming best sellers that are reaching millions of people. People are writing poetry on Instagram that's being connected to the heart or to something. Yeah. And they're becoming popular. There's a handful of them.

And you've been doing this for 20 years? A long time, yeah. 18, 20, something like that. I started when I was 19, I wound up at the Poetry Lounge. 22 years, but it wasn't a cool thing. Well, it was for us. We had an amazing, amazing community, man.

Some of the best art experiences I've ever had were in the audience watching another poet on the stage I mean bar none but it was a mainstream then it was more like I'm starting to be mainstream and then it never quite crossed over it you know deaf poetry was huge man deaf poetry did huge numbers um and then it won a tony on broadway um and i think that there was an opportunity at that point to really blow poetry up but for whatever reason um it didn't happen not on the level that uh i believe it can and that it's starting to now again why do you think it's starting to now again. Why do you think it's starting to now? Is it social media? Is it the books are just that amazing that people are writing?

Because there's been great poetry books for hundreds of years I feel like. Right. I definitely think social media has something to do with it. And then also I think look at the life that we're living, man. You know we're very, very disconnected. Stressful. Yeah. I mean, think about how consumerism trains us to validate ourselves by the external world. You know, it's always trying to take

something from you. It's trying to take your attention. It's trying to take your money, time, time, likes, feelings, love, you know, information even now, you know. And so everything is always trying to take from you. And we're trained to look for the answers outside of ourselves. And then we have so much stimulus. We're bombarded by stimulus that we can't ever find a moment to just be. bombarded by stimulus that we can't ever find a moment to just be. And, you know, I mean, I wrote all of these poems from that place of truth. So I don't strategize my inspiration. It's what you're feeling.

I pay attention to what I'm inspired to, and then I follow that breadcrumb trail. And so writing this book actually was an opportunity for me to see what I've been trying to say all of these years. What have you been trying to say? I think part of the conversation that we're having now that, you know, I mean, you know, technology is this amazing thing. It's connected the entire world and simultaneously people are feeling more isolated than ever. You know, they're on their own little islands and they do not feel like they're a part of this larger community. And if I don't know something, what do I do? I go Google.

I go on Google. Or I seek out an expert. Or I read a book or I listen to a podcast. And all of these things are amazing tools, but there's a difference between using tools and having those tools use you and so you know inquire within is what I had to do to create this book it's what and every poem every poem yeah it's an invitation for the person to inquire within the pages and to inquire within themselves.

Because, you know, if you have something going on in your life that you can't figure out, yes, you can search outside of yourself for that. But you can also find moments of silence, you know, be in nature and allow that true voice that you have inside of you to come up to the surface. Because that is the voice of your passion, your purpose, your enthusiasm. And I hope that this book is a window into that for people. What's the poem that you have in here that talks about technology and our devices and the stress that we're facing with all the technological advances? You know, I have a poem, but I actually didn't put it in the book. And it was a poem about addiction.

And the whole entire time, I mean, I've had my own issues, but the whole entire time in this particular poem is the thing I'm addicted to, the thing I'm addicted to. And then in the end, it winds up being the phone. But I actually don't remember that piece. Is there a piece in the end it winds up being the phone. But I actually don't remember that piece. Is there a piece in the book you remember that talks about that last conversation we just had? No, it's really the culmination

of all of the work in the book is that message. Is that message. And really, as I said, it's a window. Because in Choir Within, there's no answers in here. You know? There's just my life experience. It's me sharing the things that I've gone through. And the roadmap that I've used to get here.

Yeah. You know? And to be here. Who have you had to forgive the most is it the father experience is it a past girlfriend is it yourself i think is it the universe no i mean the universe it's like you know getting mad at god is like yelling at yourself in the mirror you know it's like no matter what you say god will be waiting for you when you are done. Wow. Yeah.

You know, so but I do think that I've had to forgive myself for things that I've done in my life. There's plenty of ways that I've behaved that I'm not proud of. And yet you do better when you know more. And so, you know, I've learned a lot over the years. And I would say my father, you know, I really like, who would I be without that experience? I mean, it's been so integral to the life that I've lived. I mean, even growing up without a dad, it made me, you know, an observer. You know, it made me think, what am I supposed to be like?

Which started kind of that analytical part of me that is, I think, led me to being the writer and performer that I am. Where do you think you'd be if your dad was always there, loving, supportive? You know, it's impossible for me to to predict or to even like explore because it's um who knows man do you think you'd be a poet and an artist in this way creating this type of content i don't i don't think that i would be a poet in the way that I am because I think that when you had things that were

very painful growing up, I think it forces you to look at your life from the outside looking in. And if you don't have that, you don't necessarily start to ask questions about yourself or your environment until much later. I was always thinking about what was going on with me. So I think that, as I said, led me to being the writer that I am. Where do you think poetry is going over the next 10 years as a new decade starts? And there's, again, books coming out and viral videos and all these things happening. Do you think it's going to be hot in 10 years?

Yeah, I think it's going to be, you know, as big of a genre as anything else. I think poets definitely can be on the cover of magazines like you are. I saw you in the airport yesterday. Why don't you create a poet magazine? Yeah, it's definitely something that's on our mind. It's a lot of work though, but yeah. You know, look, the reason that I even created this book is I have an amazing friend who's a poet, Rudy Francisco.

He's an unbelievable poet. And he was on Jimmy Fallon. And we've been trying to get on, you know, different late night things. He said you've got to write a book. Yeah. Because literally the genre of poetry is not something that they will book you for. But they can book you as an author. And then you can perform your poetry.

So it's almost like this Trojan horse of getting poetry into popular culture and changing people's perception of what it is and what it can be. You know, poets should be able to have their own sitcoms and everything like that. And I think that it's more necessary now than ever, because when people get up and use their voice, they inspire other people to do the same. And there's nothing to get in the way of the words and the message in poetry. There's just the words and the message and the person speaking. And, you know, with this tool of the internet, people really do need to be using their voice as much as possible, but not to tear down, to build up and to speak about the things that are important to them.

I think it's time. Why do we tear down so much in general, publicly, behind people's backs? Where does that come from and how do we switch it? You know, it feels good to hate together. It's almost like it's love. Wow. But it's not. It's almost like it's good to hate together. It's almost like it's love. Wow. But it's not. It's almost like it's love to hate together. Yeah, man. People love to have a common enemy.

They love to tear things down. You know, it's easy. You know, it's much harder to alchemize your negative energy and create something with it. Than it is to just go, it's their fault, or this person, judge them, all of that. It's much, much easier to do that than it is to actually create something with that energy and put it out into the world. But when you do that, that's when you allow other people to feel less alone.

And art, poetry in general, I mean, it inspires empathy and empathy is what the world needs most right now. Yeah. Where do you think things are gonna go into this next year? I don't wanna talk about politics much, but where do you think people's voices, I think I could be talking a lot in the next

this year it's the election year right yeah I think it is yeah it is I don't know anything about this 100% right

it's like I don't follow the news of what's happening but I just see little bits here and there people complaining yeah what's your prediction

of just the energy of the country and the world with this next election not who's gonna win or this and that but just the energy and what do you think next election? Not who's going to win or this and that, but just the energy.

And what do you think we need to be doing as a collective in order to make sure it's the best possible outcome, energy-wise? That's very, very difficult to answer. You know, it's a very difficult question to answer. Because there's so much negativity.

Because it makes me want to get into the political conversation. Well, there's so much negativity, Because it makes me want to get into the political conversation. Well, there's so much negativity, I feel like, behind the scenes. I'm not involved in it, but there's so much negativity talking about something people don't like on all different sides. Yeah. Like, is that ever going to change? Is I going to be here forever? I think we're in an interesting moment in America and an interesting moment in the world.

I really do. You know, I mean, look, every generation feels like the world is going to end. Right. Every single generation feels like in some way, like the world is going to end. This is the most important moment. And it's because their mortality is in question and as they get older there's this egocentric thing that i think happens where you think if i'm not here nothing can be here and so you know there's this sense of the world is going to end because i'm going to end right

but i will say this particularly is a very important moment for the world with climate change, with populism. You know, if an alien spaceship showed up right now, we would all be human beings first. Immediately. Nothing would matter. Our politics wouldn't matter. Like coming to attack us, you mean? A spaceship coming to attack us. Attack, not attack. If a flying saucer came down. We would matter. Our politics wouldn't matter. Like coming to attack us, you mean? A spaceship coming to attack us. Attack, not attack.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. If a flying saucer came down, We would be. We would look at each other all of a sudden and be like, oh, it's you and me. We're in this together. Yes, exactly. And I almost feel that climate change

is that big of an existential crisis for humanity, where it's really the thing that could possibly bring humanity together and we have an opportunity to evolve. Or it could be a thing where as the environment changes and resources change, climate refugees start to be searching for places we devolve. And I think you're seeing that play out in politics right now. You know, I think you're seeing, you know, us versus them, you know, happen in a very major way. And what I hope is that we're able to realize that we're all in this together. I mean, climate change doesn't give a f*** about our nations. It doesn't care about our races. It doesn't care about anything.

Our money. Yeah. It feels like we've been talking about climate change for a long time. 20, 30, 50 years. Researchers, scientists. Al Gore's been talking about it for 20 years. I feel like creating movies.

Like, it feels like there's been urgency for a while, but it's more so now, right? I mean. Like is there ever going to be a moment you think we change and start changing policies and actually doing different things? We would have to approach it the way that we would approach a world war.

Yeah. I mean. There'd have to be lots of deaths probably for us to really change though. There has to be lots of deaths probably for us to really change though there has to be some sort of a catalyst that allows the collective consciousness to say we have no other choice but to work together to reverse uh the the damages the damages that we've been doing why does it seem like in life? We need something drastic to happen in order to change like dramatic a death a loss Injury a breakup for us to look and acquire then and say, okay, what do we need to do to change?

Because our patterns are so deeply ingrained You know, I talked about this in the book you know the differences between ideas and ideologies and how ideas are basically things that, they're tools that you can use in your life that changes your truth and your experience changes. But ideologies are different because they calcify and then you have to force everything in your reality into the frame of these ideologies. Otherwise, you will lose control over the ideology and if the ideology has become a part of your identity. Yeah Then you're losing control of your identity. It's an it's an ego death man You got to kill it. You have to kill a part of yourself to change your mind. I Mean think about how crazy that sounds when you can look at it from the outside in. And so I think that people have these ingrained set patterns and, you know, normal

things will not shake them or wake them out of that sleep. It has to be something traumatic that allows them to go, whoa, okay, let me actually look around at what's happening, not my, once again, projection of what's happening so that I can see if I want to make some different choices. That's an individual thing. And I think it's the same thing on a collective and humanity basis. Yeah. It just sucks that it takes something drastic to happen in our own lives for us to make a change. And by the way, some people have that traumatic event and they still don't change. They still hold on to it. They still hold on to it. They keep the same behavior.

They continue to create the same lesson in a different disguise over and over and over again. And they blame everyone else for what's going on. and they blame everyone else for what's going on. And they wind up at the end of their lives taking that into whatever the next realm is. So I think, as I said, this is an opportunity. It's really unfortunate that we had to create this type of an opportunity for us to change our collective perspective.

But the time is now. It is, yeah. Because at a certain point, it will be too late collectively. To reverse. To reverse. You think so? Wow. I mean, that's what the scientists are saying.

Oh, man. I'm curious. If you could only share one poem with the world, and then you were going to die, and this is the only poem you could world, and then you were gonna die. And this is the only poem you could share. And they wouldn't have any other poems to read from this book. Wow, that's deep.

Or any other poems you've ever written. That's a deep question. No one would have access to them. What would that poem be that you would share to the world, and this is all they have for the rest of their life, of yours. What would that poem be? So the two poems, because it really does represent the two parts of the book.

You know, this book has these two parts. It's inhale and it's exhale. And, you know, and by the way, as you're looking at it, there's 60 illustrations in here. Yeah, it's beautiful. You know, I'm so unbelievably excited about this piece. Anyway, so the first part is personal poems, you know, and the second part is social and political. So the piece about my father called Father Time is the personal thing because I think that's what woke me up out of my illusion and allowed me to start

seeing the world around me rather than my projection of myself and other people. And then I would say one little dot, which is about climate change. Because, you know, I mean, the president during the State of the Union didn't mention it one time. I mean... Doesn't think about it. It's the biggest existential

threat to humanity right now and it wasn't even mentioned. It's an afterthought. Not even talked about. And I would say that that poem is about taking ownership over it you know rather than making it someone else's problem and it's something I'm still working on on a daily basis taking ownership of it yourself yeah in what ways just in what I'm deciding citizens yeah oh reallyisions? Yeah. Oh, really?

Yeah, for sure. What are you changing? Well, I cut out meat. All meat? I still do fish, but yeah. Yeah. When did that happen? About six or seven months ago.

Really? I'm actually ashamed that it took me so long, but I felt like, I mean, it's one of the biggest things that we can do individually. And who am I waiting for? You know, but there are other ways as well. Yeah. Yeah. Wow.

But I'm happy to share either one of those or whatever. Was there a trigger that finally made you say, okay, like I want to make this decision about meat? Was there like a documentary or just a conversation or is it just like, okay, now's the time. I got to do something. Yeah, I think it was more just like me really taking a look at my life and realizing that I wasn't, you know, it's like it's so easy to talk about something. It's much harder to sacrifice you know and and that's why we basically like trick ourselves into not sacrificing anything personally even for the things that we believe in yeah

and i wanted to change and by the way once again various degrees of success and failure. I am definitely not a product. I'm a process. And I'm figuring this out in real time. But even the other day, I had a water bottle. And as I was drinking it, I felt ashamed. A plastic water bottle. Yeah. And that was a new thing for me.

Where I was like, good. glad I feel ashamed because I need to be aware that, you know, there are consequences when you throw out trash, where do you think it goes? It doesn't go anywhere, man. Right. You know, it just basically like leaves where you are somewhere else. Yeah. Imagine like all the trash so much we use in a year. Yeah, imagine like all the trash. So much. That we use in a year. Personally. Trillions of tons of waste every year. Yeah, but me. Personal. It's all the bags every week.

If it was all in my house or in my area, I mean, it would be insane. But I get to go, I'm going to put it over there. And I get to walk away. But it doesn't go anywhere. Yeah. You know, so I think it was just me realizing that it's one thing to talk about it. It's another thing to be about it. And there's lots, lots more that I can do. There's levels of it. Personal sacrifice and taking pride in that. So that like, instead of

me being like, oh, I'm sacrificing something that I actually go, no, I'm like taking a proactive step for something that I believe in. You know? That's great. And there's a lot of other people that are around me that are way more advanced and way more evolved and are leading the way for me, but it's something that I wanted to try to put into my own life. It's amazing, man. There's always levels of things we can do to be better,

and it's like I think not shaming yourself, shaming yourself a little bit is good, but not being like, okay, well, I had the plastic water bottle and what's on my shoe. It's like, then you have to think about every little decision, like where's this brand made from, who's making it and is there's, you know, there's levels.

I think that there's a difference, there's always levels. And there's a difference between, you know, acknowledging that something doesn't feel good and taking a good look at not who you think you are but who you actually are in a moment. Yeah. And then vilifying yourself. I don't think you should vilify yourself. Right.

I mean, we're all just trying to figure this shit out. Right. And we're all going through this human shit together. But it's acknowledging it and saying, that's not the way I wanna be, I'm gonna make a different decision moving forward. Exactly, exactly. Rather than ignoring it so that I can keep getting whatever it is that I want

in the most convenient possible way. Yeah. You know? I wanna finish with Father Time, but before we do, I wanna make sure you guys get this book. It's gonna really inspire you, just make sure to check this out. NQ has spoken at the Summit, I think, two or three times?

Three times? The Summit of Greatness? Yeah. Three of the four years you spoke at. And every time I've done different poems. It's amazing. You got four standing ovations last year at the Summit of Greatness? Yeah.

It's crazy, man. Well, you have a great audience, man. That's amazing. I keep coming back because I love you. I respect you. Thank you, brother. I love watching you build, man. Thanks, man. Well, you have a great audience, man. That's amazing. I keep coming back because I love you. I respect you. Thank you, brother. I love watching you build, man. Thanks, man. I was saying before we started that when you see people that you care about succeed, it's almost better than your own personal successes.

Yeah. You know, because I looked at you on the cover of the magazine when I was in the airport the other day, and it just filled me with joy. That's good, man. And I love what you're putting out into the world. Thank you. You know, because I do know that you're impacting people on a daily basis. And it's very, very difficult to quantify that impact. I mean, you might get DMs or someone might come up to you on the street.

You never know who's listening or watching or reading. You never know who's listening or watching or reading you never know and you never know how it actually shapes or shifts something in their life in reality you know it's one thing to think something or feel something if someone comes up to me and says i loved your show i thought i felt that's amazing but when someone comes up to me and says they made a different decision in their life that led them to more joy or happiness or gratitude or forgiveness. That's the ultimate. It's amazing. Yeah. Thank you, brother. I appreciate it. Hopefully we get you back this year again. I love the subtitle. If you change the present, you change the past and the future. I've never heard it say that way. When you focus on changing

the present, you change the past. Yeah. Because if you change the present, if you change a pattern or behavior. The narrative or the story. Yes. Then immediately the past changes, right? Your perception of the past changes and therefore the past actually changes. And then the future changes because what you're bringing into your life, your frequency changes. And so then what you're attracted to and what you're attracting shifts.

That's beautiful. So it happens simultaneously. Yeah, it's beautiful. Make sure you guys get the book, Inquire Within. I can follow you on Instagram, InQ. InQLife.

InQLife website, InQLife.com. No, website is IN-Q.com. IN-Q IN-Q dot com yeah I think you're doing

a book tour too yeah we're doing a big show in LA in New York in San Francisco we'll do DC and

you know we have other dates but right now those are the those are the top ones so if you love it's poetry what you're about to hear

Father Time what you heard before to make sure to go watch you live and you can get all that on in dash q.com yeah so I don't want to say to you know like this is the first time I've ever had a home for my art I know I've been telling you for years you have and you've been pushing me in that direction and yet we're not ready until we're ready it's true but your voice was always like a good External show. Yeah. Yeah to push me towards creating

And so basically these have always been living breathing documents that have changed as I've changed and now I finally can give them away Mmm, you know and in giving them away It's almost been a mini death for me so that it can finally have life for other people wow because you only performed them on stage and then they were gone yeah and then a year or two ago you started doing videos that went viral with some of them yeah but not all of them exactly and now you have your best ones here yeah and they are going to move you so yeah and the audiobook too oh you record the whole audio book. Literally. In performance mode. Yeah.

It's going to be amazing. So get the audio book. It comes out March 31st. So you can pre-order it if this is coming out before. And by the way, if you get it, hit me up on social media. Tag him. You know, tag me. Tag him, take a photo.

Spread the word. Tag him. You're going to love the poems. Let's finish with the Father Time. I'm staring at the number wondering if I should call. I can hear the tick-tock from the clock on the wall as it meshes with the thump-thump beat of my heart. Sometimes getting something started is the hardest part.

I didn't meet my dad until I was 15. I'd seen his photograph but his image was sickening. A coward with a dick but no balls to back it up. See when he left me as a kid, I had cause for acting up. The funny thing about hate is the person you hate doesn't feel that hate. You feel that hate, but wait. The wait can be too much for a person to take, and personally, I was hurt, so I just locked it away. I was angry all the time, and I didn't know why. I couldn't handle my own rage, so I would hide it inside, pretending everything was fine became a daily pastime. Time passed, and I started to believe in my own lies. I took it out on my mom because she raised me alone. The rage that I couldn't

own had left me totally numb. It was like land mines in my mind that I didn't understand so when the boy inside cried the young man outside yelled. I think I learned about my masculinity from TV. The people weren't real, so I knew they couldn't leave me. I would sit there for hours, right in front of the tube. The images that I saw were my depiction of truth. It was manhood in a box. And I bought into it.

The censorship of anything inside of me that's sensitive. The sentence is a lifetime of tears suppressed in a stone face an overblown ego they've distracted through a paper chase. Back when I was nine I imagined in my mind that my father was a spy working for the FBI and that's why I couldn't stop by right or drop a line. He was off saving our lives from the bad guys, but that was just a lie that I used to get by so that you wouldn't see the tears welling up in my eyes. When you're rejected by the person that you created by, you secretly feel like you don't have a right to your life. I thought if I confronted him, then it would make it all right.

But since I couldn't forgive him, it just recycled my spite. I remember meeting him for the first time. Every time a person passed by, I would ask, Mom, is that him? I look a little like him, right? No? Oh. What about that guy? And that was what it was like to meet the man that gave me my life. To shake his hand and look into his eyes. We talked till he apologized, then said our goodbyes. I walked away on my own and I began to cry.

Now for years after that, I acted like it was all resolved. I told him what I thought so I figured problem solved but it just re-evolved. My insecurities were eating at my mental health. I took it out on the world because I hated myself. That's when I finally decided I needed some help. I opened up. I started writing about my past. I got honest with myself and I started chipping at my mask. I looked into the mirror and confronted what I saw. Accepting the reflection by embracing every flaw, then directing the connection into breaking down the walls by reflecting

the perfection of the God inside us all. I stopped focusing on everything that I had been hateful for and started focusing on everything I could be grateful for. And personally there is a lot I can be thankful for. If pain is dragging you down, just cut the ankle cord. It's when the weight lifted and I really started living. It's when my hate shifted and I really started giving. It's when my fate twisted. It was like an ego exorcism. Your mind state can be the most powerful of presence. My father never played catch with me or gave advice. But if nothing else, that man gave me my life. And that's enough for me.

If that is all he could ever give. Because I'm appreciative for every day I get to live. And even though I don't need my dad to validate me, I thought that I should write this poem to thank him for creating me. Because every moment that we are alive is like a gift. And if that's not enough to forgive, then what is? I'm staring at the number wondering if I should call. I can hear the tick-tock from the clock on the wall as it meshes with the thump-thump beat of my heart.

Sometimes getting something started is the hardest part. I pick the phone up. The dial tone begins to sing. I punch his number into it and it begins to ring. Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring. Hello, Mike? Hey, man.

It's Adam. Your son. My man. Thank you, brother. Thank you, man. Powerful, man. Thank you. Thank you.

Shit. What did that make you think or feel? I need to go see my dad more. He got in an accident 15 years ago, car accident. He was in a coma for three months. Oh, my God. I didn't know that. Yeah.

And I was 21. Yeah. And so he woke up three months later. He was in New Zealand on vacation with his girlfriend at the time my parents got divorced when I was a teenager and then he came home when he couldn't speak for many months he was learning how to write his name we had to you know take him to the bathroom and change him how to walk, how to talk. 21. Wow.

So, yeah, I had to teach him. We had to teach him all these things. You know, he couldn't even, we were like just trying to have him throw a ball like just a few feet, just like to learn everything on how to be a human. And he had amnesia, so he didn't remember who a lot of us were. So it was always like having to tell him. So it's been 15 having to tell him. So it's been 15 years now, almost 15, 14 years.

Wow, to look at your dad and have him not know who you are. Yeah, so it's been 14 years. He's come a long way. He's still alive. You can have normal conversation with him, but he gets very tired after about an hour of talking with him.

He just like wants to sit around and watch TV. Yeah. So he's a man who was always full of life, super excited, giving, cared about his kids to not caring anymore about life or his kids, really. And also, I can't blame him because he had a car, he got a car accident where the car came through the window and hit him in the forehead. So he had a car he got a car accident where the car came through the window and hit him in the forehead so we had traumatic brain injury so just functions of his brain don't

work that well so it's just it's hard because it's like i lost my dad but he's still alive so every year one of the reasons i started summon of greatness was to have an opportunity to go home so he could come in col, Ohio, where he lives, so he could come and watch and be a part of it. And experience it. And experience it and just have time for me to go see my dad as well, give me an excuse to go home. So it's one of the reasons I do that.

You must be so proud of you, though. I mean, when he's there. Yeah, I mean, I think so. um yeah must be so it's challenging proud of you though i mean when i mean when i see him he said yeah i mean i think so but when i see him he's like did you used to play football where'd you go to school again i'm so sorry so it's just like i have to say the same story over and over again which is kind of hard and then he'll remember stuff yeah but it's it's not a relationship with my father it's a different dynamic of course so it's just i came to acceptance after you know four or five six years of it happening it was just like angry sad you had to go frustrated all the stages you know i wanted to fight for him to like get back in shape he gained like 150 pounds because he just ate whatever. It didn't work out.

Hired him a trainer full time. Tried to do whatever I could to motivate him. And just the tactics or strategies weren't working like they would have worked with him. So it's just coming to a phase of acceptance over the last 15, 14 years. Do you have moments of clarity when you're with him that you do connect and you break through and you're fully there with each other?

I think so. I think so. But it's never going to be the same because he's limited in his ability to think and communicate. But there's moments where we'll definitely laugh and talk about funny stuff. And his personality will come out talk about funny stuff and his personality will come out a little bit but his personality shifted too

so you know it's just the brain functions I guess in a different way when you traumatically hit it that hard

so I have a lot to be grateful for he gave me 21 years of some great times you know and he's still alive

and he's happy he seems to be not in that much pain so i'm grateful it's just a different dynamic different relationship yeah i i definitely hear what you're saying in terms of losing the father that you had and having to develop a new relationship under circumstances that are out of both of your control it's out of control and it's like there's a man who would do anything for his kids and would show up

and he was at every football game taking photos in the sideline. I've got thousands of photos he's taken and he just was so excited about life and now he's not excited about life. So it's like he died, but he's still physically here. And so you just have the memories,

but he's not doing that anymore. Well, the only thing I can say is there's no words of comfort that can be given for a situation like this that is out of your control and out of his control. It's just an unfathomable part of life, basically. you know unfathomable part of life basically but I will say that I even if you don't understand things you know you do understand things and so when he's there watching you he understands right energetically yeah and I know that he's proud of you yeah and of course you, in those moments of clarity, man, he taught you how to be the man that you have become.

Yeah. And he did an amazing job. Yeah, yeah. I think it's interesting. Thank you. I think it's interesting that the way I asked you, I was like, do you think you'd be this talented poet doing these poems if your father wasn't there? And you said, probably not. Maybe something different, but not this way.

And I'm like, I don't think I would be caring much about impacting humanity in the biggest way that I care about without him going through that experience. And I don't think I would have learned how to make money. I don't think I would have learned how to make money. I don't think I would have learned how to do all these things. It's like I had to grow up that day and not rely on him because he was so supportive. He was so giving. He was comforting emotionally, mentally, spiritually, financially. And so when that was gone, it was like, okay, I had to become born and learn all these skills that I didn't know because I didn't have that to rely on anymore.

So in a sense, in an unfortunate sense, it took a tragic event for me to learn a lot and to move forward into this new being as opposed to, I don't know, who I was. Keep going at the same pace and in the same direction you were going I mean, there's no way to make sense out of something like that and there are you know, unfortunately so many situations that You just can't make sense out of there's no way to say this is why this happened But whatever does happen we then have an opportunity

after we go through those stages which are necessary in grief to decide whether or not we wind up being victimized by the situation or empowered by it and you know this is an unfortunate situation that is unexplainable but it does sound you know to what you said, that you became empowered by it ultimately. And you being empowered has empowered countless other people along the way. Yeah. And so that's true alchemy. Right. You know, and you can do that through art. You can do that through business. I mean, business can be be art too anything you do in life is your art the lives that we're reading is our masterpiece you know so I feel that you did transform that and are continuing to transform that and that by the way if he understands

or he understands that is something that he would be unbelievably proud of you for. Yeah, yeah. Thanks, man. Appreciate it. Love you, man. Love you, too, man. Thank you. My friend, I hope you feel empowered to use your voice in a magical way today to share with the world, to open up your heart, to express what's on your mind, and to get your dreams into life by using the power of your voice.

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committed to serving you in the highest level to help you get through any challenge you're facing. We're committed to giving you the tools, getting the most out of the most brilliant people in the world. So you are supported in your life. This is not the school of average. This is the school of greatness. And we are committed in the biggest way to supporting your life. I'm so grateful for you. I love you so very much. And as Eleanor Roosevelt said, speak your mind even though your voice shakes. It's a duty for you to speak your mind right now and share your voice with the world.

And as always, you know what time it is. It's time to go out there and do something great.