The School of Greatness - 946 Sara Blakely and Jesse Itzler on Marriage, Money and Entrepreneur Mindset

Episode Date: April 27, 2020

“Trust the seeds you’ve planted.”QUESTIONSWhat have you learned about each other during the quarantine? (1:21)How do you stay humble in success? (10:11)How do you manage energy? (16:12)What’s a new entrepreneurial skill you’ve learned in this time? (29:41)When was the moment Jesse knew that Sara was the right partner? (34:25)What’s the most important conversation to have before you get married? (43:21)How do you cultivate intimacy in an entrepreneurial lifestyle? (49:31)YOU WILL LEARNHow understanding the different styles of processing will help you create (3:10)Why focusing on success through different avenues will help you (14:31)How planning factors into good energy (19:31)How to stay connected in this time of separation (26:18)How people who invest in a message of comfort will win right now (29:10)How to be flexible in a marriage (37:39)How important humor is (41:41)How essential intimacy is (50:21)LINKS MENTIONEDRed Backpack FundBig Ass Calendar ClubIf you enjoyed this episode, show notes and more at http://www.lewishowes.com/946 and follow at instagram.com/lewishowes

This is episode number 946 with Sarah Blakely and Jesse Itzler. Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, a former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin. Gandhi said, where there is love, there is life.

Welcome to this special episode, a marriage episode. I want to say marriage, but a couple, that is this power couple is married, talking about how they manage it all, how they manage their marriage, their money, their entrepreneurial endeavors, their kids, their friendships, their families, everything. And I've never heard them talk together about this, so we got some juicy stuff for them to share with you. And if you don't know who Sarah Blakely is, she's the founder and CEO of Spanx. And Spanx is known for inventing smarter, more comfortable products for women, including bras, apparel, undies, and of course, shapewear.

And she was selected as one of Time Magazine's 100 most influential people in the world. And she's been featured on the cover of countless magazines. And in her support of her mission to empower women, she created the Spanx by Sarah Blankley Foundation. And she signed the giving pledge committing to donate half of her wealth to charity. So cool what she's been up to. She still owns 100% of the company and has never taken outside investment. She's also got a new project, the Red Backpack Fund, where she is empowering women.

She's going to be donating $5 million to support female entrepreneurs in the wake of COVID-19. And she'll be talking about what this is, and you can learn more about that at globalgiving.org slash redbackpackfund. And Jesse Itzler, this is a number one New York Times bestselling author. He is a good buddy of mine. He is an inspiration. He does some of the craziest things in the world with endurance running, with endurance events. He only eats fruit till noon.

He loves Run DMC. He enjoys living life way outside of the box. In fact, he doesn't even have a box. He's got a number of books. The New York Times bestseller, Living with a Seal. He's also got Living with Monks. He co-founded Marquee Jets, which is the world's largest private jet card company,

which he and his partner sold to Berkshire Hathaway and NetJets. Now, Jesse then partnered with Zico Coconut Water, which he and his partner sold to Coca-Cola. And in this episode, we talk about how to stay connected in this time of separation, the importance of focusing on success through different avenues and buckets of life. They explain why investing in a message of comfort right now will help you and your business. I wanted to dive in about the dynamics of their marriage and their relationship

and how two powerhouses with different entrepreneurial minds come together and can build their businesses on their own, can support each other, who can raise kids together with different beliefs and how they handle the challenges they face in their beliefs with kids. Also, the importance of humor and intimacy in a relationship and so much more. This is going to inspire you so much. Make sure to share it with a friend. If you've got married couples you know, send them this, lewishouse.com slash 946. married couples you know, send them this, lewishouse.com slash 946.

Ask them what their biggest takeaway was and what inspired them the most from Sarah and Jesse's conversation and their relationship. So without further ado, let's dive into this episode with the one and only Sarah Blakely and Jesse Itzler. Welcome back, everyone, to the School of Greatness podcast. I've got my favorite couple in the world on sarah blakeley jesse itzler in the house thank you guys so much for being here hi we showered for this lewis you showered you put makeup on i put makeup on jesse didn't shave and it's all good right you guys are probably the most loved entrepreneurial family and couple on the internet

with everything you post about. You both independently have amazing businesses and brands, but then you share your lives together on social media, which is amazing and it's inspiring. It's beautiful. It's messy. It's not perfect. It's all the things.

And I'm just curious. The first question I have is, what have you learned the most about each other during this time of quarantine? What have you learned? Because you've been together for, you've been married for what? 10, 15 years now? Four kids? Yeah.

11 and a half years. And we've been quarantined for five and a half weeks. Which feels like five years. And 38 minutes. No, I'm kidding. Who's counting? It's interesting because on a regular day, everything is scheduled and structured.

And now everything is completely unstructured. And I'm used to coming home after busy work days for Sarah and I. And, you know, we have dinner and we have our kids. And the window is really short when we're together. And now it's everywhere I go, there is which is a great thing but wait I learned in English class that anything that comes before the butt is really not the main go ahead no you're really happy but no no it's just but's interesting. It's interesting because you have a lot more time to fill, you know, and as parents, our responsibilities have shifted

because now we have so many more hours with the kids. We have four kids under 10 that are, we have to be really together and aligned or it's going to be more. How do you manage four kids? I love that, but that wasn't his question. What have you learned about each other? You just made that up. You let him get away with that,

Louis. So anyway, what have you learned about each other? Yeah, exactly. I would say that I haven't really learned anything new about Jesse, but everything that I kind of knew has just been, you know,

it's, I think everything is so exaggerated. Like what? Give me an example. So like for an example, my husband thinks of ideas all the time. I would say 80 to 90% of all of our conversations in this marriage are ideas. They're either ideas or our children for the most part. And I'm living this in real time. So he's having like 13 ideas a day. He's filtering them all through me. It's a lot. And I've been trying to talk to him a little bit about his own filter system because he has such a bias for action, which is cool, but like he has an idea and then he's off and running and talking to three people about it. And then he's

got another idea an hour later and he's got that one going. And so there's been a little bit of me helping him think that through. Not that he asked me for the help on that, but it's a lot. The other night we sat down at the dinner table and Sarah asked myself and our four kids to go around the table and explain in detail how we were feeling emotionally. I almost short-circuited. I'm not wired for that. What is your response? What was your response? Guess what his response was? My response was, I'm going to go last. And then what'd you say? Dead. I'm like, ah, wait, no. And I call it the feelings game because I'm trying to get the children to participate in it.

And I'm wondering what they truly are feeling. They seem okay. But as a parent, I'm like, this is heavy stuff that's going on. And the news is on the background sometimes when they're in the room. And so I was just trying to tease out how they might be feeling. And so it was good I mean we ended up going around it helps if I go first because then I can set the tone the example yeah so so what I'm hearing you say is the thing you've learned about Jesse is that he's got usually

his ideas are gone with his team somewhere but he's got more ideas all the time and they're he's taking action on a lot of stuff. And tag, I'm it. I'm the focus group on all of them. I can't escape. I'd be foolish not to take advantage of that. Of course. Well, it seems like, Sarah, you've had one idea that you've stuck with for 15 or 18 years with Spanx and you create new ideas within the one idea. I do, which is just a different model. I do. I shared with Jesse and he knows this. I have other ideas. So I have 99 pages, single space typed of ideas. And I email them to me myself the minute I have them. And it's 99 pages right now, which is just funny. My assistant

keeps going, have you run out? Like, can we hit a hundred pages? But I end up just, it's so much more important to me instead of actioning on them instantly, it's more important to me to not lose them. I think an idea is a gift from the universe and I cannot take for granted that I might forget it. So the second I have it, I email it to myself. I used to keep it in notebooks, but now I do email and they're there. And then I revisit them and then they will come out of, they will come out. Like my belly art book had nothing to do with Spanx. And that was an idea that was on that 99 pages. And, and I, some of them will knock on the door enough that I'll say, I'm going to find the extra time to make them happen. How many ideas do you think that is on 99 pages? Is that 1,000?

Is that 10,000? Is that 500? What is that range, you think? I don't know. I don't know, but it's interesting because we're both entrepreneurs with completely different styles. So Sarah's really good. We're both very ADD.

Sarah's very good at staying on one thing, saying no to stuff, monotasking, being single focused. And I like to operate in a completely different style. I need a lot of balls in the air at once. I need to bounce around from one thing to another. It's just the way I operate. I operate better with more balls in the air. So everybody has their own style. And over time, you figure out what it is that works the best. But, you know, Sarah's really disciplined. She's very disciplined. And she works it, she looks at things through a unique lens. It's always customer first. It's always focused on value. It's always focused on,

she goes right to the story and how she can articulate this to the customer. And I'm ready firing. I'm like, I got to start before anybody else starts and I'm going to figure it out as I go. Just different styles. Yeah. I mean, are you friends with Buffett, Sarah? Yes. Isn't he the guy who said the quote, like successful people and really successful people do things a little bit differently. They say no more than successful people or something like that. Yeah. It's funny when just we were talking, his quote came to my mind, but there is a Warren Buffett quote that says, you know, the most successful people in life have one thing in

common, their ability to say no. And you say no a lot. To many things. I have to. I have to. But it doesn't mean that, you know, another style of creating things in the world is any less. It's just, it's interesting. I, I have, I am very disciplined in what I focus on. I I'm, I'm kind of like, I probably would say I'm in between both of you. Like for me, for me, like I want to create stuff all the time and launch something quickly and put it out there. But then I'm also like, well, you can't truly build something, an empire and something magical for the longterm. If you're just jumping from one thing to the next, whereas you have been disciplined for decades on building this global brand that just is so inspiring and both are fun. It's like, but you get to create your creative

expression over here, the Jesse style, but you, it's, you get to create something magical. creative expression over here, the Jesse style, but you, it's, you get to create something magical. You know, that stance. So, well, I, you know, it's the two ways to look at it is I also look at Jesse's life as so magical because no, because literally I'm like, honey, you went, you became top of the field in rap. He was like on MTV and, you know, had hits in the top, whatever. And then he went from that to a jet company and did really well, which is so different than rap music. And then he goes from jets to coconut water and is really successful there. And now, you know, and now he's doing, he's an author and he's a motivational speaker. So to me, like, that's really fascinating that he's been able, it's very unique to find someone who's, it's not that hard to find people who've jumped from sector to sector

to sector. It's hard to find people who've mastered or kind of been top of the game in all those different ones. So I always look at him and think, oh my gosh, that's really makes for a colorful life. Like I've been plotting along on my own journey, but he's got- You're doing quite fine, sweetie. He's got a million stories to tell. He does have a million stories, but you've got to- When I was starting out in business, my philosophy was say yes to everything because- That's so interesting. Well, it is because it was laughing at jokes that aren't funny, going to everything. No, listen.

How many of my jokes did you laugh at? It was, I had nothing. Show up to every meeting. I had to build a network. I had to get out there. I had to be someone that I wanted an invitation to everything. I'm serious because I didn't have the resources. So for me, I had to say yes to everything.

If there was an event, I'm going because there could be a buyer. There could be someone that, a connection. If there was a basketball game, I'm going. I don't know who's going to be in the audience. So it was yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. When you get married and you have kids and you evolve, your system has to evolve with it. So what worked for me when I was 20 years old, you know, I had dinner when I was at 11 o'clock at night in New York City. Now, we have dinner at 5.30 at night. As you evolve, your system has to evolve. So, I have said, I'm starting to say no to things. And, you know, I have a very simple test, Lewis, and for friends and for business, I want low aggravation for the highest reward. Like everybody, when I'm young, I'm willing to go high aggravation for high, high reward, but now that reward isn't worth it. So I want low aggravation. So I'm curious,

Jesse, I'll let you start with this. I'm gonna ask you guys both a question, Jesse, what's the thing you're most proud of about Sarah that she probably doesn't know about? And I feel like you tell her all the time and you guys talk all the time about everything, but what's the thing that maybe you don't tell her enough or that you're really proud of that she maybe doesn't think is a big deal, but you do?

The way she uses her success, her wealth and her success is unbelievably inspiring. And not just the philanthropy that she does. And she does a lot of that in behind the scenes that no one knows about that I know about and in front of the scenes, but just how she treats her friends and her family and me and her kids. And it's inspiring, man. It's actually unbelievable. So she's very selfless and very, she puts herself second. And that's a great quality. And especially because no one, you know,

when you come into wealth or success, no one teaches you how to do it. It's like we weren't born. There's no model. My dad owned a plumbing supply house. You know, I was like, we never talked about anything about that. And she's just intuitively just figured out how to do it. She's been enjoying the giving pledge and all the stuff she's done. It's just unbelievable.

Where does that come from, Sarah and you to, you know, again, you were selling, I think it was fax machines door to door for five or seven years. You didn't have tons of money. And then you to, you know, again, you were selling, I think it was fax machines door to door for five or seven years. You didn't have tons of money. And then you became, you know, extremely wealthy with owning this business and building this successful brand for 15 plus years. Where does that generosity come from at such a high level when everyone wants a donation, everyone wants your time, everyone wants you to coach them, everyone wants you to speak, interview you. Everyone wants you. You've got a husband. You've got four incredible kids. You've got all your friends, your family. Everyone is expecting more from you. How do you stay humble through all that? Gratitude. I'm so anchored in gratitude. I feel grateful that I am a woman in this country born at the right time. I've talked about that a lot. And I feel that when you stay anchored in gratitude for what you have

and what you've been able to accomplish, it can't do anything but keep you humble. I mean, there's no reason to be any different. I really believe that. And I've said it before, I think money just makes you more of who you already were. So, if you were a jerk, you become a bigger jerk. If you were kind, you become kinder. If you were generous, you become more generous. I can also mention that I've never been doing this for the money, you know. So, the money has been a byproduct of following a passion. I did want independence as a woman. So I did, that was important to me. I didn't want to be financially dependent on anyone, but beyond that, it wasn't like, I'm not, I'm not driven by material success really. I like experiences and I like, you know, things, things that can help me spend more time with the people I love. But I think that also made it easier for me not to get completely wholly consumed by

the sparkle of it all. It was never really about the sparkle on, you know, on like the shiny new car and all of that for me. I have an inside look into Sarah's lifestyle. It's fascinating, I have an inside look into Sarah's lifestyle. It's fascinating. You know, as an entrepreneur, watching, has a marketer, it's just unbelievable. I've never seen anything like it. But her decision making is so unique. And for most of us, we make decisions based on, as entrepreneurs, ROI, return on investment. And for 99.9% of the listeners, that's the bottom line. ROI is, I put this much money in, I get this much money out. She looks at ROI through a completely different lens. It's ROI, it's never, it's not really the bottom line. I mean, of course, it's factored in. It's experiences, it's how I treat people. ROI could be the gift she gives to our kids in the form of cooking

dinner every night. You know, her ROI- Special pancakes. No, but if you look at your return on investment across a bigger platform than just what we normally look at, and that's her lens. So, I think it's really interesting. You talk about this, Lewis, but there's pillars in life, right? So success is, there's different kinds of success. And so there's monetary success. That's one bucket of your life, you know? There's success in your friendships and your relationships.

There's success in how you are and behave in the community and what you're contributing. There's success in are you healthy and strong and do you take time to eat the right things and work out? And so I've kind of always had all of those pillars in my mind also. And I think it's easy for people to get so singularly focused in one pillar and that makes their whole life off kilter. I think one more thing I'll add, Liz. Go ahead. Bring it. I think one more thing I'll add, Liz. Go ahead, bring it.

I think that's a really good point because, you know, people, success to me, and everyone has a different definition of success. But when I look at success, it's being good in multiple buckets, like Sarah just said. Success, like when I was a kid, I remember going into meetings

and I would sit and I'd be in awe of these people that had so much wealth that I was trying to do. You know, I was a young kid, 23, 24, sitting in boardroom meetings. And as I got older, those superheroes, my superheroes, some of them turned out to be unbelievably amazing humans, but others, I started looking at them, it's like, man, you're just rich. I don't don't like the way- You're not a nice person. Yeah. Right. So, success is, it's being good in multiple buckets. And that's where we put our energy. Yeah. We try to be good parents and we got plenty of flaws, man. We try to be good parents. We try

to be good husbands and wives, good kids. We both, our parents are both alive. So, investing in, you know, time with them and it's, it's exhausting, man, because there's so many buckets as you get older. This is what I want to ask you about the question about energy. And, you know, you have, yes, you have, you know, financial abundance, right? So financial stability, but you still have four kids. You still have hundreds or thousands of employees and people counting on you people asking questions all the time people wanting from you and you could you'd have all the help in the world you could have all the tutors and nannies and cooks or whatever may be but still it consumes

so much energy of your time your thoughts and your attention how do you guys manage energy because i can only i mean i've got i, I mean, I've got, I don't have kids. I've got a passionate Latina, which is a lot of energy I've got to have, but it's like, I've got a small team. You've got a big team. How do you, and it's exhausting for me sometimes. So how do you guys manage energy? Like you said, you have to really think, prioritize, delegate what you can and let it go and not be too mentally hard on yourself. delegate what you can and let it go and not be too mentally hard on yourself. And as your bubble grows, you invest the time in hiring your weaknesses. So, whatever, where are your weaknesses and find the best talent, invest in the talent. And, you know, if you put the right

people in place in certain areas, then it will free you up to be able to prioritize your time. And then you have to take the time to do that. Like, even though I have this leader in place, what is the most important thing for me to be focusing on for Spanx? Even though I may or may not have a nanny, what is the most important thing for me to be doing with my children? What's important to me? And I sat down with Jesse and we wrote out like what's important for us to be? What is the quality time that we want to have with our children? And just being intentional about those buckets will really help you figure out energy and how to use it and how to make it go farther. I would add, I think, three things. I think we've spoken about this in the past, Louis, many times.

You know, I think the most important thing is to really be present and be where your feet are. So if we're with our kids, we're with our kids. If Sarah's at work and, you know, I don't want Sarah to be guilty or resent me, you know, for when she's at work. When she's at work, she's at work and it's fine. When she's with the kids, she's with the kids. You got to be where your feet are. So we communicate about that. Today I was on, I had to do something for two hours.

I said, I let her know I need two hours alone. She was like, no problem. Because I didn't want to feel guilty or, and I don't want her to resent me. So we communicate that. But you got to be mega present. Two, you go in and out of waves. that, but you got to be mega present. Two, you go in and out of waves. So, like, we went on a trip to Poland with 10 friends, brothers, best friends, you know, overnight best friends. If I don't speak to the guys for six months, I'm not going to beat myself up. The relationship's still there. So,

you have to trust the seeds and know that when that you've planted and know when it's time for me to jump back into that group of 10, I'm going to be present and everything's going to be, but you can't beat yourself up that your energy is pulling you somewhere else. That time will come back, you know? And three is you got to plan. You can't like, we're not good enough to just wake up and wing it. We plan stuff, man. No, we plan stuff. Like, I plan that I'm going to see my parents a certain amount of times a year. Then I'm going to go on a certain amount of trips, one-on-one trips with my kids. We go away once a quarter. We plan a trip alone time. We have date night every Wednesday. I might not see Sarah every single day, every minute of the day during work, but we know Wednesday nights,

we're having date night. We know we have our family dinners. We know the weekends is our time. So you have to, you know, you have to plan. Otherwise it's, you know, you start to spiral. And when you spiral, it's hard to get out of it. It's really hard, especially if you're in quarantine. I heard an interview that Oprah did years ago about, I'm going to butcher this, but she essentially said at one point she made a decision in her life to throw a big dinner and bring all of her friends and family who've been asking her for money and stuff for years. And she threw this big party, huge dinner, threw the best food and gave away cash and cars and gifts and said, I'm bringing you all here. I'm giving you the last thing I

want to give you. Because I assume for years, people just kept asking for more and more and they were never happy and they're never satisfied. This is the general concept. I might be butchering it. How do you guys manage the expectations of friends, family, people that are just on social media that ask you for things? How do you manage the energy of people getting angry or upset or getting hurt if you don't do something for them when they think you should or could? Do you guys face that at all? All the time. It's a great question. I mean, first of all, I don't get angry at anyone's reaction. Very time when people ask for something, you're put in a lose-lose situation. I remember my mother told me when I was growing up to never lend people money

for a lot of different reasons. It creates- You'll be let down. You'll be let down and why do I have to pay them back? They don't need the money. Or if you do pay them, you know, there's all kinds of guilt and resentment. So, you know, one way to handle this is you just, you can give people money and just say, this is a gift, not a loan. But it's really case by case. It's really case by case and situational. And, but I'm not going to lie, is challenging it is challenging and how do you know when someone is like truly a friend or versus someone who's like always reaches out every year for for something you know monetarily let's say i don't feel like we have we have that much issue with that oh that's good yeah i mean i i personally don't know how you feel about it, but I think, you know, I think it feels very

obvious to us who's a friend and who's maybe someone who's more of an opportunist, but we live our life in such a way that we're not in the situations very often that we're put in these positions. And I stay very true to my core mission, again, with my foundation, which is elevating women and supporting women. So, it gives me an opportunity to explain or have my team explain why the funds don't make sense to go there and that we'd love to support everyone and everything, but you have to pick a lane and in order to be effective or possibly make an impact in that lane, you have to give yourself permission again to say no to everything else that isn't in that lane. So that's been very helpful. Yeah. Having that structure and organization and that explanation makes sense.

structure and organization and that explanation makes sense yep has this has this time has this time shifted your guys vision for the future this quarantine corona stuff has this shifted your ideas of how to be an entrepreneur for the future about your businesses your brands being you know learning how to use zoom now and is this shifting anything or are you saying you know what we're staying the course is our initial vision for where we had before? I mean, I'm going to speak for myself. I'm in survival mode right now. So yes. So I retail. Well, no, I mean at home, I have, she's not talking about business. She's talking about my home. I'm in survival mode. I mean, we've had no nanny, no support. No, no. You know,

we have been for five weeks now with four children, 10 and under, and three of them are five and under, which anybody with small kids knows you're game on. Like from the minute they wake up, you're making sure they don't get hurt. You're just, you're just tag teaming it. We're doing around the clock cooking and cleaning and all of this. So I have not had the luxury of time to think about anything much else. So it has been all consuming for me. By the time we get the kids finally to bed, it's later. And the minute our heads hit the pillow, we're pretty much asleep. We haven't watched any television in five and a half weeks other than maybe a few minutes of news here and there. I mean, I haven't read a book. I have not

had a minute to do anything, but I will say that I do think that there's a, for me, I'm hoping that there will be this shift in gratitude because I think gratitude is the basis for happiness and the basis for joy. And we are, we, the whole, all of us got a reset button on gratitude because, you know, it's very easy when you're on autopilot, you're going to and from work, you're doing this, you know, we take certain things for granted. And now, I mean, the simplest things when we come out of this, we're going to have such extreme gratitude. I mean, I had to make a Target run the other day. I put on, you know, tons of gear, but I've never been more grateful to be able to go to Target, you know? And so like, I think there's going to be

all these nuggets where we come out of this and like going to a park is going to be such a gift. Going and seeing friends is going to be a gift. And we were just doing it before. Yeah. Difference between guys and girls. The survival mode, Sarah, means is survival around time. You know, we have to homeschool four kids that have different schedules and Sarah's running a business. I'm running a business. So, and there's no one around. So, we have a swimming pool, there's stuff that can go wrong. So, you have to be alert and survival mode meaning like alert. I'm a different animal in this thing. For one, Lewis, I'm taking earmuffs, Sarah.

I'm taking inventory. You know, this is a time where humans can shine and become great humans. You know, I want to be known at the end of the quarantine as someone that called my friends, called my family, called my customers. I want to be remembered as someone that didn't disappear. I want to be remembered as someone in the community. So, I'm making it a point every day. I call it the three-minute miracle. I just take three minutes. I send three texts every day. So, over the month, I'll send 100 texts and emails to friends, family, and customers. If you invest 10 minutes, you'll send 300 emails in the next 30 days. And that's what I'm doing. I'm making sure when I have free time that I'm staying connected.

We organized a Zoom call with our friends from Poland. I've done the same with my, We organized a Zoom call with our friends from Poland. I've done the same with my, you know, college friends, high school friends. I want to make sure during these times, a lot of emotions come to the surface, man. You know, you start to realize what you want to do, what's important to you. And when we come out of this, I want to put way more on my plate of the things I love to do with the people I love to do them with. And that's what I miss. I don't miss going to a sporting event or watching a rerun or what I miss is like the camaraderie of my friends. Yeah. You know, I stopped together with the friends. Yeah. I'm going to OD on experiences. Sorry, sweetie, when this is over. You've already OD'd for the last 10 years. I've already OD'd. But like, that's what I'm craving. I'm craving like, you know, so I'm using this time. And if you're a business owner, this is a great time to do two things. One is for a lot of businesses, the narratives about that has changed. So if I'm in

the financial world and I sell insurance, let's just say, and I've been struggling to sell, So if I'm in the financial world and I sell insurance, let's just say, and I've been struggling to sell, the narrative has now changed because really what you're really selling and what people want is peace of mind. People want security. And those that can reimagine their talk track and their business and talk to the emotions that people are going through, taking the biggest risk off the table, giving people comfort are gonna win. And this is a time to invest in those,

in that storyline and those relationships. If, you know, I'm sure Sarah's saying that sounds great and all, but I've got four kids to manage right now and I'm feeling overwhelmed and stressed. And for those that, Sarah, those that may not have the time, even for 10 minutes, they think that's too much right now for them. They're in total survival mode. They lost their job. They're overwhelmed. What do you think is the skill they should be trying to learn

with the extra time that they can create? What's a new skill in an entrepreneurial mindset that they should be thinking about? Maybe they don't have time to call their friends or do this or do that because they're, for whatever reason, but they have a little bit of time to create a skill. If you could wish for that from one person. What I would say is positive mindset is a skill. So I would say if you are that person and you're at home right now, listen to anything that helps you have a positive frame of mind. Because right now, more than ever, your greatest weapon and the greatest thing that's going to get you through this and maybe determine who really thrives versus who survives through this is going to be mindset. So listening to, you know, I have my favorites.

I grew up on Wayne Dyer. You know, there's Tony Robbins, Wayne Dyer. There's so many great up and coming people in this space. Louis, your stuff is so positive to listen to. I would do that. There's a lot of golden nuggets that you could learn also right now from other entrepreneurs. But, and then I would say selling, as crazy as that sounds, I would learn to sell. I would practice it. I might listen to an audio on selling. I might read a book on selling. I think at the end of the day, selling is really important and selling yourself. So, maybe you practice selling yourself. Maybe you get a piece of paper out and you write,

why me? What is unique about me? Even if you're feeling so down, there's something that you are unique in the world that you do and start writing about it on a piece of paper and keep writing about it and get really confident about what you can contribute when this all comes through. And then practice being able to articulate it in a really concise, confident way. And that's going to go farther than a really concise, confident way. And that's going to go farther than a lot of things. I mean, that's really an important skill. Yeah.

I would just add also, for those that only have a couple of minutes, it's a great time to teach your kids certain skills. So one of the things that we've done here at our house is every week we're trying to teach our kids one thing. So this week, for example, let's say it's capitals and states. We're going to learn all the capitals and states. And giving the kids one big monthly goal. So, for our daughter, it's teaching her how to ride a bike. So, I think a lot of people came into the quarantine thinking, oh my God, I'm going to be home. I'm going to get so much done. And they put a lot of pressure on themselves. Take that pressure right off.

We have enough pressure. Our parents are older, our kids, we're worrying about our parents, our kids. There's enough pressure to put pressure on yourself that you have to accomplish so much during this time. Write the book and learn Spanish and whatever. I came into this thing saying week one. You should have seen our list. My list was week one, I'm writing a book. Week two, I'm doing a documentary. My list was week one, I'm writing a book. Week two, I'm doing a documentary. Week three, I'm writing my second book.

I'm going to take the 10,000 photos and organize them week four. I've done none of it. But at first, I beat myself up about it. And I was like, Sarah, we come home. We were like, we wasted the day. What do you mean we came home? We never left home. Right. In the backyard.

But we've surrendered that and said you know what let's get some small wins man small wins every day and that's been the philosophy and it's work take the pressure off and just for anyone couples going through quarantine together right now i will say so the first two weeks that we were doing this, I felt that I was carrying more of the burden of the home. Responsibility, energy, effort, patience. Well, I just felt like that. So I sat down and had a conversation with Jesse, and he was very receptive. And we actually sat down and divided and conquered responsibilities.

But until we did that, I just naturally absorbed more of the burden. So I was like, cooking all the meals for the kids. Jesse's out doing adventures in the backyard and dreaming about the books. Listen, so we had different responsibilities those two weeks, Louis. I don't know where to create now. It's funny because she asked me. I'm like, I feel like I'm carrying the entire burden. But anyway, Louis, so it worked because we wrote down a piece of paper. So now, for example, I was doing all three meals, and that's a lot of prep time and cooking for six.

Of course. So Jesse does breakfast. I do lunch and dinner. That is a big help. We divide the cleaning in half. What? So Jesse does breakfast. I do lunch and dinner. That is a big help. We divide the cleaning in half. What? That's very helpful.

And then the homeschooling we've divided, I take our oldest son, which is really challenging, and then he's taking the three littles and helping to monitor their schedule with their teachers online. So before, in the first two weeks, I was trying to do all four kids home learning and all of that, and then I realized this isn't making sense. So I think a lot of times communication in a marriage, Jesse wasn't meaning to do that, and I wasn't even meaning to be the one that absorbed it all. It's just kind of what happened.

And now it's much more. Jesse's doing a lot more. No, noesse's doing a lot no i mean he's always been very helpful yeah of course i felt overwhelmed and i needed to share that well i'm curious when was the moment jesse that you were like man this is this is the person i want to be with for a long time when was the moment you looked at sarah or you thought to yourself, like, I can't do this without her? Well, before I even met Sarah, someone sent me a picture of Sarah. We were having an event for Marquee Jet, a company I owned at the time, and it was a customer appreciation event. And everybody, our reps from each territory, had to invite one person to come to this event. The Georgia rep sent me a picture and said, I think this girl, Sarah Blakely should come. I didn't know who she

was. And she sent me a picture and I'm like, don't send any more applicants. Have her at the event. And we got married a year later. No way. But when did you know? So, was it when you saw the photo or when you first met her? When did you really know? So when you saw the photo or when you first met her, when did you really know? Oh, right away there was something going on for me, at least. You never, you know, like it wasn't, I wasn't thinking about marriage or long-term relationships or anything at that time. But Sarah was, I mean, she was just very interesting. Is he blushing?

Like this is, let's play the feelings game lewis let's do it let's go right to his comfort zone i love it right so right away sweetie i knew right away right right what about what about for you sarah was there a moment where you're like man this guy's nagging me so much and he's courting me so hard for months and months. Like, okay, maybe he's the right guy for me. What was that for you? Well, I, I had been single. I mean, I got married at 37 for the first time and he got married at 40 for the first time. And so I'd obviously been dating for quite some time and I always describe it this way.

I, I never saw any of the people that I was dating in my movie. And it's just like I had great relationships. Some of them I really loved. But for some reason, it's just almost like I couldn't see the picture. And then as soon as I started dating Jesse, he was in the movie. Like I just saw in the future. I saw him as the father of my children. I saw us like playing together in a backyard. And so the future, I saw him as the father of my children. I saw us like

playing together in a backyard. And so for me, I'm very visual. I have a lot of manifestations in my life that are happening and that I'm doing. So I think in pictures and I didn't see anybody else in my movie, Lewis, until Jesse. You know, it's interesting when you get married. tell Jesse? You know, it's interesting when you get married. I never, I thought, okay, you get married. You don't, I got to hear this. No, no, no. Well, Lewis, cause you're, you know, look, this is on your horizon at some point. This is on your horizon. Now listen, it's permanently recorded. The, there's a lot that goes into a marriage. I'm sure there's a lot of married couples and people that are, that maybe are engaged, this and that. When you get married, there's a lot of things that you never considered before. Your philosophy around parenting, your philosophy around food, your philosophy around

what schools you want to go to, on how you want to discipline your kids. There's a lot of scenarios that you never think about. And it's just, you know, you have to have a partner that is flexible and you have to be flexible in those main buckets because they'll tear apart a marriage. They'll tear it apart, man. You have to be aligned in those buckets and there's more. And aligned or willing to compromise. Right. because it's a lot of compromising but you guys are both like like driven high achieving stuck to your like mindset type of people because it's what got you to where you are what was the hardest thing for you guys to be flexible about each one of you to be totally honest food because you're a vegan. We come from different schools of thoughts.

You eat meat, right, sir? And by the way, Lewis, food's not so easy. Because I don't know, the last time I checked, you needed to live. And the last time I checked, you have three meals a day, 21 a week. So if you're not aligned and the energy is like this, you know. Wow. Food is the biggest challenge for you guys. Well, it's something that I'm deeply passionate about

and very well read and have very strong opinions on. And you speak about publicly all the time about. Right. So it's the hardest thing for me to budge and move. And Sarah's been very patient in this. And we've really come really far, very far. We've actually basically solved what could have been a really big problem. Really? If anything is a big problem, if you let it bubble and escalate and then resent anything.

So how did you solve the meat eater? We compromised. We worked at it. We worked at it. with a meat eater. We compromised. We worked at it. We worked at it. But one compromise is with the kids don't eat red meat, but we do turkey and chicken. So that was like a big kind of in the middle for us. You know, I, I eat these things in moderation, but it was important to me to kind of, my biggest thing was I didn't want to focus on food in our family. I didn't want it to be a big subject. I didn't want the children to feel limited or too controlled around food. And so it's very difficult when you're with someone who's… Who we're controlling around food. Well, whose intentions are pure.

He wants to live a long life, healthy. His philosophies make a lot of sense. I mean, let's totally… It's not like he's so i've seen every documentary on veganism haven't you seen yeah so it's just it's just was and this was a messy bucket for us but we we continue to talk it out and work it out and we've we've really come a long way on that because we had to for the sake of our family unit and the children. But if you don't mind, Lewis, it's not just that. It's like our kids right now,

we have to decide on school, on where they go to school. They're in kindergarten. But we have to decide that they've graduated from the school they're in. Now, it might not seem, it's creating no conflict or issues. But my point is the alignment, you know, when you're young, when you're young, and this is for everybody that's, you know, younger than us, when you're young, you don't think about that kind of stuff. And it's exciting. And, you know, but as you get older, real issues emerge and your parents get older. And how do you deal with that? Sarah's grandma lived to be 90 plus years and how we dealt with that and making decisions jointly around, should she live at home? Should she live somewhere else? How often, you know, these kinds of decisions you don't think about when you're 20. And so, all I'm saying is, you know, marriage,

there's a lot to it that people don't understand. Yeah. And we're not experts in it. You mean it's not all to marry someone that's going to be exactly like you are in all those buckets. But if you can marry someone that shares your common sense of humor or can make you laugh, I mean, life's heavy a lot of the time, as we know. And this guy can make me laugh on the drop of a dime. And I hope I can make him laugh, but he might be laughing at my jokes and not mean it based on the beginning of his interview. I have no idea if he's fake laughing, but I don't think we share, we share a lot in common and we use humor as a tool to,

to navigate through some of this stuff. We totally do. And that's just been a big saving grace for us. Yeah. Go ahead. No, now all these things are coming to my head. I want to hear it. But it's interesting because as you talk to friends, and we do this all the time about how they manage their finances or how, like, we have our own philosophy. You know, we do things that make sense for us. And we're not, I wouldn't say we're casual about it, but our priorities are in other stuff, you know,

and it's just interesting to see how other people, I have a friend of mine who we went, we go away and took the receipt and he wanted, and he was checking to see if they had, if who had what on the menu and this and that. And then he goes home and it's like, it's a lot of time and effort. It's just interesting to see all the different styles that are out there because ours is different. It's completely different. Everybody's will be different. Everybody's will be different.

When you get married, you won't know if yours will be food. It might be finance. It might be the way you parent. It might be the discipline. You might be over here and your wife might be here. You might be going, what's going on? You got to find the common ground. What's the most important conversation people should be talking about before

they get married to, to try to set themselves up for the best, you know, possible relationship. Like what are the main questions? Before you even have that conversation, you have to have the intuition and the feel and just be aligned on values. Your value. So like we come from completely different backgrounds, Florida, New York, I mean,

different. But if you looked at Sarah and myself, we're so similar in almost every bucket when it comes to values. So even though we might vary on the way we want, how we want to, what we want to put in our mouths or this and that, we're aligned that we want the best interest for our kids, you know, in what they eat. We want them to be healthy, want them to have good habits. So I think before you even have that conversation, but I would say that most of the situations that lead to unhappy marriages are either in the category of finances or parenting. And most of it is around children. So, to answer your question, getting aligned on how you want

to raise your kids, what's an important, you know, are they going to Sunday school? Are they not going to Sunday school? Those kind of things. Do you even want to have kids? We have friends that are in marriages that one wants to have a kid and one doesn't. So, I mean, it's tough. So, I mean, getting on the same page, you don't have to get into every detail and we didn't even discuss it, but the values were there. No, no, no, no. The values were there. So, we knew. You just assumed Sarah was going to be vegan one day. Do you remember that one time at the nightclub when we first started dating, we were in a nightclub in New York and the music's like really loud. I'm on my third date with him or something. And he yells,

I need to know if you would be willing to drive carpool. And I was like, what? I don't know. No, because Sarah's got this business. I had no idea what Spanx was. I don't know no because Sarah's got this business I had no idea what Spanx was I don't know how big it was I didn't know anything I didn't know I just knew she had a business I didn't know anything okay the first time we met I asked her if they sold their product at Barnes and Noble he did okay so like I didn't even I know it I was like this guy has no idea but then it hit then it hit to me i'm like i fast forward like i do in my head i went out five years because look at that

point in my life at 40 i'm speed dating let's do everything we can do in a week yes either we're getting married or or we're done so let's get off the bus yeah yeah everything in a week in one week we did everything so on the third day i'm like this is going i'm going five years out i need to know is she is sarah willing to to go and pick up the kids at carpool she's like question it's a great question are you gonna get the kids at carpool the answer was yes i mean he'd had a few drinks i started laughing like, you really just asked me this. But you got to understand, this is the guy who took me to a Russian illegal sauna in New York for our first date. Okay. I don't think he was really trying to pull out all the stuff there. I think he was just like, hey, let's do this. And anyway, I thought I was going to get a massage and that

it was very sweet of him to arrange for me, but it turned out to be this, you know, it was basically what you guys did in Poland, this plaza where you go from extreme cold to extreme hot. Good experience. I've got a few questions for you guys. I don't even want to ask a question because you guys are on a roll,

so I love this, but I have a few questions for you left to make sure I respect the time. This one is about, it's more of a personal one. So feel free to tread lightly how you choose to. It's about intimacy. And I want, I want some advice for myself and for all the people out there who are in relationships and want to be in committed long-term relationships, want to have kids, want to have a business, want to be in committed long-term relationships, want to have kids, want to have a business, want to do the experiences, want to travel to Poland with crazy friends, all the things, and still want to be intimate in your relationship. How do you create intimacy when there's so much stress, anxiety, weight, responsibilities,

dreams, business, travel? How do you cultivate that more than just a date night? Is that even something to look forward to? Or is that even a possibility for me? What do you guys think about? Okay, sweetie. Well, someone told me this once and it really struck me. They said, intimacy can only happen when someone is present. And I was like, whoa, because it's, you know, the way that life has been set up before quarantining, we're all running a million miles an hour. And so to think about that, that wait, I'm really only truly intimate when I'm fully present, changed my thinking. And, you know, I think my, my best suggestion would be to carve out that time to sit and be present with the person that you love, whether it means you have a designated time in the house that you sit and talk to each other, look at each other,

whatever, whatever it is, but it's, it's, it's really only going to happen in presence. I think also it's really important that the person next to you is like your superhero. I think it's really important that you always, you know, have someone that you look up to and you respect and you value. And like, cause it's easy to forget all the amazing qualities. It's hard, man. Anybody who says it's not, it's easy. I mean, I want to, I want a lesson because the kids, you know, work, it's hard. So I think one way that you have to check in and intimacy, by the way, doesn't necessarily mean taking off your clothes and blah, blah, blah, blah. Intimacy is also a function of respect. It's a function of having conversations. We check

in with each other very often, you know, during the day, even if it's just for a couple of minutes. It's getting away. And, you know, one thing that we try to do is we let our kids know. We let our kids know that we prioritize our relationship first. So like when we're going out on Wednesday night, it's about spending time together, but it's also sends a signal to the kids that like we come first. Because if we're broken, if this is broken, it's the worst thing for the kids. I mean, when I look at my life, the greatest gift I think I've gotten in life is I have parents that have been married for 65 years. Now, they didn't have it all figured out. They hadn't given me all the best necessarily, all the best advice and this and that.

But they maintained a marriage for 65 years through the depression, through wars, through putting four kids to school. And there's a lot of lessons in that. And when I look at my mom right now, my dad's 90 years old and not in great shape. When I look at the commitment that my mother has to my father, staying home every day, sacrificing the last decade of her life to stay with him every day with no nurses. It's just, I mean, it's just an, it's an insane lesson. So, you know, it comes in multiple forms, but I think it starts by, I always, I have things I say to Sarah all the time. That's a form of intimacy too. You know, I tell her all the time, I married Wonder Woman. I can't

believe, I praise her. When, you know, like if the light is shining on Sarah, I'm so excited for Sarah. I cry every time I go to her speech. You know, like it's like, it comes in a lot of different forms. And when you show that, she sees that. She knows how much I care about her. When she sees that,

it makes her want to do the same for me. So it comes in a lot of different ways. It's like oh having sex eight times a week you know for the next 50 years beautiful that's a beautiful example that's beautiful true i want to play the uh question game with you guys a little dating game real quick do you have a pen and paper each of you yeah i want you to i want you to I'm going to give you a question. How well do we know each other? Yeah, how well do you know each other? Okay.

All right, let's do it. So we'll start with an easy one. What are we doing, writing our answer? You're going to write the answer down first so the other person can see. And this will be for Jesse,esse for you to guess and you guys both write down the answer for jesse what's what's jesse's favorite food oh that's easy okay yes yeah what is it jesse banana bananas okay cool i need a darker pen yeah okay and what's what's uh what's sarah's favorite you gotta write one what's sar Sarah's favorite? You got it right.

What's Sarah's favorite food? It's a competition now. What's Sarah's favorite food? There's two of them. Let's say Sarah said it first. It's not wine, by the way. It might look like it because I grabbed a wine glass, but it's not wine.

You say it first, Sarah. What is it? Cheese-its. Cheese-its. a wine glass but it's not wine you want me to show you say it first sarah what is it cheese it's ah wow cheese it's good okay who is jesse's best friend oh geez write it down wait i don't know write it down let's see what he would say that's a nice thing to ask okay well it could be in the top five okay top five it can be you can you can put one name could be in the top five. Okay, top five. You can put one name that's in the top five. Thank you. Okay. Because he's probably got... I'm not going to be able to guess this. He's probably got... A hundred percent

you are. My best friend? In top five. Top five best friend. That way it's not, yeah. Just pick a top five. Give a top five name. Dougie Fresh. Okay, he's not on this list but i mean that's he is he's got like 50 best friends so i get it that's a challenging one

oh kenny reisman it's a very tough thing that's tough that's tough that's tough okay is what i was saying okay what about for sarah Sarah? Top five. What would be – I mean, he knows my top five. We both have a strong group of accord 10 friends, so it would be tough to pick one. Okay. What is the greatest hit for Jesse, his greatest hit song? The song that got the biggest downloads, the most sales, the biggest views. What's the one song that was the biggest hit? the most sales, the biggest views? What's the one song

that was the biggest hit? It's between two, Sarah. Yeah, it's between two. Let's see how well you know your husband. There's only two. 50-50 chance. I know. I don't know. I'm going to say College Girls

Are Easy, but Shake It Like a white girl was used in a film. So which one, which one trumped it? Which one though? You got to pick one. Oh, um, Oh, was I supposed to write it down? You could, uh, you could, well, I want to hear Sarah. I would have said go New York. Oh, well, I got it wrong. Okay. Jesse, what was, uh, I would have said go New York go Oh well So we got that one wrong Okay Jesse what was Which year was Sarah's biggest year at Spanx Well that's

That's easy I'll write it down Her biggest year at Spanx Yep Go ahead Sarah Wait wait you better not get this wrong 2019 Yeah last year Every year is a bigger year for you right Yep. Go ahead, Sarah. Wait, wait. You better not get this wrong. 2019. Yeah.

Last year. Every year is a bigger year for you, right? Last year was her biggest year. That's amazing. Okay. Which is an unbelievable. That's crazy to say that your biggest year is always the last year. It's an unbelievable stat.

What company does that? It hasn't always been my last year. Okay. But it was last year. That's amazing. What is the. That's amazing.'s amazing what is the that's amazing okay what is the thing that two for two you got credit okay besides food uh jesse what is the the biggest uh thing that sarah would love you to change the most or to budge on the most or to adjust the most in your marriage besides food what's the right

now it's my beard well describing her crazy yeah okay besides your beard you gotta write sarah's gotta write it down and you gotta i gotta write it down oh wait two beds what's the biggest thing you want him to adjust or the biggest argument you have to write it down too then i guess i'm gonna say what it is you can say it and oh he can argument. You have to write it down too then, I guess. I'm going to say what it is. He can say it. Oh, he can say it. Okay. I know what it is.

Not the beard. Not the food. The biggest thing. It's easy. Tell it to me all the time. Good question, Lewis. Wait, by the way i hope this these questions make our marriage stronger i know that's the whole point i was gonna say what is it jess stop running a hard mile that's do less yeah that works less okay and less is this one too but i'm always like why are you doing this

to your body yeah i know okay and, and Jesse, you write down. All right. For Sarah, the biggest thing. Oh. That you want to adjust or change that is the biggest challenge or stressor or, you know, whatever. A little tiff. I mean, Louis, your questions are no joke, man.

This is like a hardcore dating game. I mean, most people are like, what's your favorite color? What's your favorite color? No, come on. The dating game is supposed to be like. What's the most want to change about this person? On the first date. See, Wes.

This is a therapy session. Hey, it's the school of greatness. You know, we got to go a little bit to the next level. Okay, okay. The one thing I would want Sarah to change. So am I supposed to write this down? Write down what you think. I'm going to guess. No, you're going to write it down. I'm going to write next level. Okay, okay. The one thing I would want Sarah to change... So am I supposed to write this down? Write down what you think. I'm going to guess. You're going to write it down.

I'm going to write it down. The thing that is not the beard. I mean, the thing about her that you're like frustrated with or... It could be a fun thing. It doesn't have to be a... That he wants me to change? Okay. Well, the biggest challenge slash

frustration slash argument slash... The biggest challenge Slash frustration Slash argument Oh god Honestly I'm just going to say what it was Because it'll be hard There's not a lot of things that I would change in Sarah To be honest with you All of it is what it is

And I'm fine with all of it I mean during this time of quarantine But Louis if she could put a little bit less salt on the food, I'd be a lot happier. I love it. I love it. Okay. And the thing that you think your partner loves about you the most

that they haven't expressed on this interview, the thing you think that your partner loves that you do for them the most the thing they do best man she's got a million good qualities there's not i couldn't even you know i'm not just trying to sound corny or whatever but there's um sarah's got so many good qualities it's just it's well here's the thing sarah what i what i will tell you about with jesse whenever i'm with jesse he always says amazing things about you. Whenever I'm with him, whenever we're alone, whenever there's a group of people, he is singing your just how to communicate about your partner when you're with a friend or a group of people or on stage. So just as a friend of both of you, I love the way he communicates about you when you're not around. It's beautiful. Well, thank you so much.

And I have to say that, you know, as a woman going through my business journey and dating a lot of people, it was challenging for me to find someone that didn't feel inferior or threatened by my business success. And I would date guy after guy and they would always say, it's not an issue, it's not going to bother me. And then somehow it would end up becoming an issue. And so I felt very, you know, challenged and sometimes sad about that. And then Jesse came along and he is truly, and I think this speaks volumes about him, he is so truly happy for me. Like my success has nothing to do with how he defines himself as a person or doesn't define himself. And I always say the like brighter my star gets, the happier he gets. And I just felt like I won the lotto on that with him because that's just, that's just someone who's pretty self-confident and has their own journey and feels good about

themselves. And I think at the end of the day, that's what we all want in a partner. Yes. I'm going to mention that right now. I was just going to apologize because I'm looking at the time and I'm getting lost in the dating game that I'm butchering for you guys. No, you're great. I'm going to respect your time because I had- We're so happy to not be talking to four-year-olds. I swear we could probably go for another three hours. Listen, I have so many other questions on my paper that I want to ask you to read for another time. But you both have amazing businesses

and things you're doing right now to give back during this time. And you've got the Red Backpack Fund. Can you share with me more what that is? You made this huge announcement, making this big donation to all these women, female entrepreneurs. What is it and why did you decide

to want to give so much to these women at this time? Well, I'm so excited. So the Red Backpack Fund is, I decided to donate $5 million to female business owners during this time. And I know as a female business owner myself how incredibly hard it is. And to layer on this global crisis on top of it is just mind-boggling to me. And I wanted to do whatever I could to help extend a hand. These are women that bet on themselves. I want to bet on them, especially during this time. I know that funding for women is really low. I think in all the VC funding that goes out to support businesses,

women still only get 2% of it or around 2% of all the funding. So I was excited to help. And the $5 million goes to giving $5,000 to 1,000 different women. I'm giving $5,000 to 1,000 different women. And $5,000 is really symbolic because it's what I started Spanx with 20 years ago. I had $5,000 in savings from selling fax machines and my lucky red backpack. And this behind me is the actual real lucky red backpack.

This is it. This is it from college. And it normally hangs in a glass box at Spanx headquarters, but I had it taken out recently and it's at home right now for launching the Red Backpack Fund. But you know, it's symbolic of like what women and what we all really need is right there on our back. And it's also symbolic of starting small, but dreaming big. I started Spanx with that $5,000 and I've never taken any outside investment since over the last 20 years and been able to just grow the business and live, you know, live the American

dream. I'm very, very grateful for it. And I want a lot of other people to be able to live that dream too. So just trying to help out. How can these women be a part of this? Do they have to submit something? Do they? Yes. So there is a website and it's called globalgiving.org forward slash red backpack fund. And I partnered with Global Giving. They are doing all of the vetting. They are doing all of the selection of the women and the distribution of the funds. So you're not just scrolling through Instagram and saying yes to a bunch of people. It's someone else who's actually vetting it, making sure those qualifications are met. Yeah, there are five qualifications that, you know, we had to come up with.

And then they answer some questions. And we, yeah, so the businesses will be chosen by them. I have nothing to do with the selection process. So if your fans say, hey, but I've been commenting on your Instagram for years, can you do it for me? They still have to go through the process. I wish I could, but for the governances and the legal stipulations of foundations, it has to be this way. But I'm thrilled that I was able to partner with Global Giving because it does allow me to give to individual women and not have to give to another big organization, which is also great, but this is going directly to these women's

businesses. It's amazing. So how many women? 1,000 women will each receive $5,000. Do they need to be from the U.S., around the world? They need to be from the U.S., and it's taking place over the next five months. So a million dollars will be given away every month for the next five months so that they can monitor the vetting process because it takes some time. Yeah, yeah. But the next time that the portal will be open for applications

is May 5th. Globalgiving.org slash red backpack fund. Yes. If you go there, there'll be a wait list. If it's not open right now, you can go back on the first and every month it'll open up, right? Yes. Okay. So mark your calendars, go there. Now, if you're a female entrepreneur, do you need to be a,

have a business already? Do you need to have an idea? Okay. So the qualifications are, you have to already have a business. You have to at least have one employee on payroll. You have to be doing less than 5 million in revenue. And I believe you have to have less than 50 employees. There's five or six stipulations. And so, and then the rest is just asking a few questions and, um, talking about the need and how you would use the money.

And then, you know, I love it. The thousand women will be, be given the five grand. You're such a giver, Sarah. I love it.

And, and, uh, Jesse, you've got this amazing calendar club, which you've been talking about for a year. Can you share with us more about what this is? Oh, it's a new business I just launched. Yeah. I've been walking around with this big calendar for years. And- It drives Sarah nuts. That's one of the basics. It drives her nuts. I take it everywhere. But

you know, most calendars, we get filled up with appointments and schedules and weddings. And, you know, we're playing defense because we don't have a lot of time to put the stuff we love to do on the calendar. So, I flipped the model. This calendar plays offense. We put all the stuff we want to do in our lives down, which is what it's a system I've been using for the last couple of years. And then you get an accountability coach and I hold your hand to the finish line. So we map out big adventures, date nights, all the stuff we talked about. And we put it on your calendar. I have a system that I've kind of,

I want to say perfected. And yeah, it's called the Big Ass Calendar Club. Where can we get it? How can we be part of the club? It's on my Instagram. You can go go there's a link in my bio so thank you and build your life resume is on there as well yeah it's my coaching program yep and i've heard from so many people that have listened to our previous interviews and said it's one of the greatest programs they've been through so if you guys want coaching from jesse go to it's all on your Instagram link for all the stuff. It is. Yeah.

And hopefully we can go to 29029 in the future. This is going to be the greatest adventure of your life. Lewis, how hard was that though? I didn't complete it. I haven't yet to complete it. So that's a goal of mine, but you'd completed it. Barely. The first time it almost broke me.

It almost broke me, my spirit and my body for months because I went into it with a mindset thinking I got this, I'll be fine. No, you got to have humility on the mountain and you don't need to learn how to manage the mountain. Lewis, I just wanted before we go. I'm proud of you for doing it. I just wanted to, every time I speak to you, probably until you're 90 and I'll be 120. You gave me probably the greatest non-family trip of my life. Oh, man. So it was that Poland trip, man. It still sits on the top of my head, the lessons, the friendships.

I just, I can't even believe I was on the fence to go because it's so far. If you ever do something again like that and I don't get invited. We're not friends. Yeah. And you got, it was just so unbelievable. So thank you again for all those memories and friendships, man. It was unbelievable. Of course. Of course. Okay. I've taken too much time, but I have one final question. I'll have you guys share both. I think I've asked you both this, the question of the three truths at the end of every interview. So what I'll question. I'll have you guys share both. I think I've asked you both this, the question of the three truths at the end of every interview. So what I'll do is I'll let you each share one truth

that this is all you could share left with the world and no one had access to your coaching, your Instagram or content anymore, but you could share one lesson each to live by. What would you each share? We'll let Sarah go first and then Jesse go second for individual ones and then one together at the end that you would share,

maybe a family truth. I'll go first. Okay, go ahead. Soul. Put your soul into whatever you do. Every year I pick one word that defines the year. Last year was soul. If you're going to do it, do it with your soul.

Okay. What's your piece there? Work really hard to honor yourself. Don't care about what other people think about you. Practice that. Don't worry about failing and the fear of failure, which usually ultimately ends up being the fear of being embarrassed, which leads you back to what other people think. If you can live your life not being defined by the worry of what everyone else might be saying about you or thinking about you, you're really going to honor your one gift of life. And I feel like that is a gift. And so that's one of the best ways to honor it. Yeah, beautiful. And then maybe one together, a family truth that you speak about with your kids all the time, something together. If you have an opportunity to create a memory, we talk about it all the time, take advantage of it

because you never know if you'll get that opportunity again, invest in experiences and adventures. But, you know, we make that a priority in our family. It's really prioritized experiences over everything. It's a great gift for our kids and it's a great gift for our marriage. We've had some amazing memories and moments that we made an effort, you know, like as you get older, it's really, again, we talk about this, it's really hard to create newness because we live in routine. So, you know, you really have to work on creating newness and adventure and prioritize it. Put on your big ass calendar. I appreciate, love, and acknowledge you both for taking the time. I know you have no time right now and so it means a lot to me. You spent a couple extra minutes to share your wisdom,

to share your advice with the people watching and listening. Sarah, you are just a beautiful soul. Every time I see your videos and photos online, every time I get this connect in person over online like this, you bring your heart to every moment.

And it just, it's amazing what you're able to do and give to so many people. I want to acknowledge you for your giving nature and your joy. You're constantly loving and joyful with everyone all the time. It's unbelievable. She's the best.

And Jesse, man, you're welcome. And Jesse, you're just the most caring friend who brings the creativity. You bring the passion. You're always willing to jump on the phone with someone and text people back. And you're just an incredible human being as well in your own creative quirky ways that is different but man you've got so much soul in you all the time from rapping to dancing to jokes at 4 a.m all this stuff man so i acknowledge you both for your individual contributions to the world and together how you guys share that with the world as well. Thank you for your time.

Appreciate you guys. Awesome, Lewis. Thanks for having us, man. Thanks for being the bright light that you are in the world. Of course. Thank you. Bye. Such a powerful conversation. their nuggets, their wealth of information over the years and decades of building businesses,

of building their empire individually and building it together, the dynamics of their marriage and how they raise kids. So many things in here that I'm just going to take in and apply in my life and in my business. And I'm just so grateful for both of them. Again, make sure to check out the Red Backpack Fund. If you are a female entrepreneur, go through this process. Globalgiving.org slash Red Backpack Fund. You can check it out there as well. She's donating $5 million to support female entrepreneurs. And you can apply for that process right there.

Also, check out Jesse Itzler and everything that he is doing. He is such an inspiration. If you follow him on Instagram, if you follow his big calendar project and all the different stuff he has, his endurance events that I've been to a couple of, he is a man that is thinking outside the box. If you want adventure, if you want creativity, if you want to push your mind and your body to the limits, make sure you follow Jesse because he will inspire you in your life. If this is your first time here, please send a text to the person that posted this on their Instagram and social media that sent you a private message to listen to this. Thank the person that sent you here because they wanted to impact your life in a positive way.

And I hope it did. If it's your first time, please subscribe over on Apple Podcasts or on Spotify and send me a message when you subscribe. We're always looking to impact more people and pass along if you have a friend, a married couple that you think this would inspire as well. The link is lewishouse.com slash 946. And I've never seen Jesse and Sarah do an episode together like this. So to have them both come on and share their philosophies and challenges and insights for me, it's just magic. So I'm so grateful for their time and sharing all of this. Again, in the beginning, I talked about the quote with Gandhi, where there is love, there is life. And you might be going

through challenges in your relationship or your career or your business right now. And I want you to focus back on your values, back on love, back on finding peace in your heart, back on gratitude and reminding yourself that you do matter. Whether you're struggling in your relationship or your career or your business or your health, you matter and you matter enough to improve it. You matter enough to find support, to create a game plan and goals for yourself, to take action on those goals, to get closer to the

desired result that you want to have for yourself. You matter. And I want you to be reminded of how much you matter in the world today and how we need you more than ever. Your friends need you, your family needs you, and the world needs you to be more of yourself, to be more gracious to yourself, to be more giving to yourself, and more giving to others. And if someone hasn't told you lately, I'm telling you now, I appreciate you, I love you, and you know what time it is. It's time to go out there and do something great.