The School of Greatness - 953 Jay Shetty: Train Your Mind for Peace and Purpose Everyday

Episode Date: May 13, 2020

“I am what I think you think I am.”QUESTIONSWhy is identity something you focus on? (2:15)How do we listen to that inner voice? (7:20)How do we manage comparison in life that requires competition? (10:34)Why do we live in fear and desire motivation if it only causes us pain? (15:51)How do we let go of the fear of fear? (23:05)How do we balance ego and self-confidence? (27:41)How does someone find purpose in chaos? (36:51)What’s been the most painful thing since leaving monkhood? (40:31)What’s been the biggest lesson for you in the last year? (50:32)What is your purpose and when did you discover it? (52:43)Why is it so hard to be in an intimate relationship? (1:08:04)How do we balance giving and receiving? (1:14:27)YOU WILL LEARNThe importance of starting at the root (3:47)How to unlearn what we think we know about ourselves (5:21)How to fill your life with a deep sense of love (16:53)How we fear the wrong things (10:02)Where the ego likes to live (28:31)The impact of serving others on self worth (30:41)The difference between the monkey mind and monk mind (35:28)Why celebrating the moment is an important part of the journey (49:12)How to have a conversation with yourself (57:12)When Jay’s mind has fooled him and how to overcome this (1:01:21)How to have tough conversations with other people (1:06:31)The five types of attraction (1:09:42)LINKS MENTIONEDPre-order Think Like a MonkOn Purpose podcast with JayIf you enjoyed this episode, show notes and more at http://www.lewishowes.com/953 and follow at instagram.com/lewishowes

This is episode number 953 with the one and only Jay Shetty. Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, a former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin. There's an anonymous quote out there that says,

the goal of meditation isn't to control your thoughts. It's to stop letting them control you. Welcome to this special episode of the School of Greatness podcast. I'm so grateful you're here. And if you've ever felt like your thoughts control your mind and your body and take over your actions, and you felt like you were out of control in the way that you think about life, the way you think about your identity, about your purpose, about your friends, your family, your mission, your career, the way you think about everything, then this is going to be one of the most powerful episodes you'll ever listen to.

I've known Jay Shetty for almost three years now, and it feels like I've known him for a lifetime because we connect every single month and talk about life. We talk about challenges, struggles, successes. We talk about the things that inspire us, the things that we are working through personally, professionally. And I feel like I've gotten to really know him at a personal, intimate level. And I'm excited for him to share and reveal more on this episode. And if you don't know who Jay Shetty is, he's become one of the world's most popular influencers.

In 2017, he was named Forbes Magazine 30 under 30 for being a game changer in the world of media. 2018, he had the number one video on Facebook with over 360 million views. He's now got over 35 million followers on all social media platforms. He's produced over 400 viral videos, which have gained more than 5 billion views. And his podcast, On Purpose, is an amazing show, consistently ranked as one of the top health and wellness podcasts in the world. And he's got a new inspiring book out.

I went through it, I read it. I'm telling you guys, this is going to change the game. New book is called Think Like a Monk. And it draws on his time as a monk in the Hindu tradition to show us how we can clear the roadblocks to our potential and our power. Drawing on ancient wisdom and his own rich experiences in the ashram, Think Like a Monk reveals how to overcome negative thoughts and habits to access the calm and purpose that lie within Us All. That book is coming out later this fall.

And in this episode, we talk about how to unlearn what others have taught us so we can get to our true identity. Identity is something that is just constantly struggling and a struggle for so many people. Facing identity, identity changes, how to associate with your own self, who you want to be. We break down the four motivations, fear, desire, duty, and love, and why we are all driven by them. We discuss Jay's time as a monk and how that has shifted his purpose and drive today. Jay talks about how to let go of the fear of fear and how that supports the monk mindset. The fear of fear, this is a game changer.

We talk about the difference between self-confidence and ego and how to balance the two when having a driven life. The three skills everyone should learn to reach their fullest potential in life and so much more. I'm telling you, every two to five minutes, you're gonna wanna be taking notes and sharing this online because it's so mind-blowing how he packages ideas that are complex and makes them simple for us to take action on in our life. Make sure to share this with a friend at any time when something resonates

with you. lewishouse.com slash 953. Just share that link out or copy and paste the link on Apple Podcasts or Spotify or wherever you're listening to this and text a friend. Tell them you're thinking about them and that they might be inspired by this episode. Share this on your Instagram stories and tag me, atlewishouse, and Jay Shetty. And if you're looking for weekly inspirational messages to help you get through the challenging times in your life, make sure to send me a text 614-350-3960 and say podcast in the text so I know where you came from and let's stay connected over text messages. Again, 614-350-3960. Shoot me the word podcast and text me to get on my weekly

inspirational message list. All right, team, I'm so excited for this episode, and let's dive in right now with the one and only Jay Shetty. Okay, welcome back. In one of the School of Greatness podcasts, we've got the iconic, the legendary, my friend Jay Shetty in the house. It's good to see you, man. It's good to see you, man. Thanks for having me.

I'm super pumped you're here. This is fun. You've been on before. I think you were the first podcast you did was with me, I think. Literally, yeah. One of the first. It was two years ago, 2018, Jan. Was it 2018?

Yeah, it was 2018. It was. We met in October. 2017. Halloween 2017. When Mask of Masculinity came out, which is amazing. Wow, man. So it's been almost two and a half years since we've known each other.

Yeah, two and a half years, I guess. But I feel like I know you better than that. Yeah. Than the time that we spent. I man. So it's been almost two and a half years since we've known each other. Yeah, two and a half years, I guess. But I feel like I know you better than that. Yeah. Than the time that we spent. I know. Because it's deeper. Well, we've spent a lot of quality time together. We pretty much meet like every month for dinner.

I love it. For like five hours, right? Yeah. We have these bromance dinners. Amazing dinners where we talk about meditation, mindset. We talk about personal challenges. What we're learning from. What we're learning.

Mistakes. What we're overcoming. what we're overcoming. Mistakes. Mistakes, everything. And we just started playing basketball together, soccer, tennis, everything with Novak Djokovic. We've been on trips together. Yeah, we just went to Puerto Rico together. We've been in Ohio together.

Ohio, Summit of Greatness. Yeah, Summit of Greatness. We've done a lot of good things. Been in New York together, LA. Utah together. Utah? Yeah. What was Utah? When it was me, you, Brendan, and'm in greatness. We've done a lot of good things. Been in New York together, LA. Utah together. Utah? Yeah. What was Utah? When it was me, you, Brendan, and Mel as well.

When was this? That was for the Powerful You. That's right. Okay, yes, yes, yes. Utah, right? That was Utah. We've done a lot of good things together, man. You had a live event that you came out with a few months ago. That was incredible.

Just so many good things we've done. So it's been amazing to watch your journey, your growth. And if you haven't checked out the last year we've done, make sure you guys go watch that because there's a lot of good stuff about your story, your background and everything else. And you just came out with a book that's coming out soon called Think Like a Monk, Train Your Mind for Peace and Purpose Every Day.

I'm almost finished, which I almost never finish books, so I'm excited about this because there's so many powerful strategies and tools to train your mind for peace and purpose. And one of the first ones that I love that you talk about is identity. I think a lot of us get tied into our own identity and it causes a lot of stress in our life because we're focused on how we look and how we want other people to perceive us. Now, why is identity something that you focused on in the beginning as something that was important to talk about in the beginning of the book for you?

Yeah, absolutely. First of all, I want to say I'm really grateful to be back, Lewis. Like, you know, having a real friendship in this space and collaborating and loving what someone else is doing. I think, first of all, like just the friendship we share is really important to me and meaningful to me. And I feel like I feel like a lot of people feel like when their career is growing, it's harder when you're older, when your career is growing, when things are moving forward, when we're busier than ever. It's harder to build deep relationships. It's really hard. And the fact that we've done that in the last two and a half years I think it's testament to who you are and the type of person you are

it's hard to be conscious I love you too man it's hard to be conscious in creating those relationships when you have work you have family you have your relationship you know all these different things yeah so yeah back to identity so I start off the chapter with this beautiful thought from Charles Horton Cooley and I love telling it because it's just it's just the best and I think it was written in like the 1900s and he said today the challenge is I'm not what I think I am I'm not what you think I am I am what I think you think I am it's crazy man and it's like it blows my mind every time I say it gives me the chills like I

feel it and the reason why I start with identity is because I think that's the root of all our challenges. And the first step to thinking like a monk is starting at the root, not starting at the symptoms or the superficial or the surface level. But let's go to the root. If you're playing a role, if you're wearing a mask, if you're dressed in clothes that are not yours, then you end up living a life that's not yours. And in the book, I give this example of method acting. Yes. Daniel Day-Lewis. Yeah. I'm a massive movie junkie.

And I love method actors. So people like Heath Ledger, of course, from the Dark Knight series. You've got Jared Leto. So Jared Leto, when he played the Joker in, this is not in the book, in Suicide Squad, he used to send dead rats in the mail to his co-stars. He did not. He did because he was trying to get into the mindset of how someone that perverted would behave. And then Daniel Day-Lewis, when he was filming for Gangs of New York, he's actually wearing these coats that are centuries old so that he can get into character when he's off camera. Yeah, when he can feel it, right? He's not wearing watches.

He's not carrying around his mobile phone. They're speaking in the accents. And he talks about how he actually went crazy. Because guess what? When you fake being someone for so long, you think it's your reality. And that's what happens to all of us. We play a role at work. We play a role at home.

We play a role with our family, play a role in our friends. And then we think that role is us and we lose ourselves. And to me, that is the core reason why we're chasing things that are not important to us. We're unhappy despite reaching accolades and we feel dissatisfied. So what should our identity be then? Our identity should start with unlearning everything that we think we know about ourselves. Okay. How do we unlearn? So the best method of unlearning is this. First, and I'm gonna get really strategic and tactical because I think that people

need to know what to do rather than a concept. The first thing you do is write down everything you currently are chasing in your life. Make a long list. Your goals, your dreams, your accomplishments. Anything that you currently are chasing in your life. Make a long list. Your goals, your dreams. Your goals, your dreams. Your accomplishments. Anything that you're currently chasing and pursuing. Okay. Write them down. You can write down three, you can write down five,

you can write down 10, depending on how ambitious you are. Second line, ask yourself what is the source of that? Where did you get that idea? Did you get that idea from a TV show you saw? Did you get that idea from your parents? Did you get that idea from your mom and your dad, your sister, your cousin? Did you get that idea from your parents? Did you get that idea from your mom and your dad, your sister, your cousin? Did you get that idea

because your friend just got proposed to on Instagram? Did you get that idea because your friend just got promoted? Did you get that idea because you just broke up? Right.

Or did you get that idea because you just feel it when you do it that you feel alive? Ask yourself that. Give me a specific example that you had when you were 15, 18

was like a goal or accomplishment that you were chasing and where yourself that. So give me a specific example that you had when you were 15, 18, was like a goal or accomplishment that you were chasing and where it came from. Absolutely, so my goal when I was young was to be an investment banker. And when I really asked myself where did that come from, it came because in my community, small community in London, the most successful person financially was an investment banker.

So I believed you had to be an investment banker to be successful. So when I asked myself that question, where does that come from? It comes from society's version of success, not mine. And then the third thing you ask yourself is, well, then what is mine? What is coming from inside of me? And if you just do that three-step process, now what you're doing is you're filtering out the noise and you're starting to listen to your voice. The thing is, you've got a voice inside of you, but it's it's like it's like jay like take note of me like you know and it's just like trying to get through and the noise of everyone else's opinions

is so loud so this way you filter it how do we start to find out what we truly want then not based on what other people think is success how do we how do we listen to ourselves and if you've been chasing something your whole life, how do you say, well, actually, that's not what I want. This is. Yeah, one of the biggest mistakes we make is that we confuse inexperience with being unqualified. So because we've not tried a lot of things,

we just naturally believe that we can't be that good at them. So if I've never spoken on a stage, I just think, oh, I'm probably not good at that. Or if I've never played golf, I probably think, oh, I'm probably not good at that. And so we start writing off things without even trying them. So the best method I can share with someone is take the next month, take the next four weekends in the month that gives you eight days and get really tactical every single day that's why you're playing tennis a lot right now yeah take the eight days go join a course an

online course a workshop go and shadow a friend go to a seminar a conference go to reading a book listen to a podcast go and expose yourself to eight different things in a month eight different things eight different things in a month and guess what in a month you Eight different things. Eight different things in a month. And guess what? In a month, you will have learned what you probably would have learned in eight years, because most of us test one new thing a year. Maybe. Maybe. If that, exactly, right? Like some people don't even do that. But if you do eight different things in a month, and this is how you have to see it. If you went to eight different restaurants in a month, you ask yourself after you eat a meal, like I had that burrito or I had that taco. Did I like it? Right? The first question you ask yourself is, did I like it? You've got to try it first. You've got to try it first. You've got to go to the restaurant. There's no point. So you've got to say, did I like it?

The second question you ask yourself is, why did I, or why did I not like it? Like why is so important? I think too many people just go, I like it or I don't like it. Why did I like it? And the third question you have to ask yourself really, really simple is, do I want to do it again? And if you do, that's where you start uncovering. So my point is, inexperience. Do not misinterpret inexperience for a lack of qualification. I'm guessing you're doing things in your life right now that you would have ridden off if you didn't try. I know you've talked about writing a best-selling book. Absolutely.

You've talked about it with this amazing documentary. I never believed I could do half the things I'm doing today. And you know that because we met when I was just creating content on social media. And it's like now when you see things expand, you don't know until you give it a go and ask yourself, do I enjoy it? Yes. So I grew up very competitive. And you talk about competition as one of these, I can't remember if it's like four or five different things and competition as one of the things

that's actually like, I wish I had the page right down here, but you talk about competition as like not the highest level of ourself. Yes. And my entire life I was competitive, it was driven to beat other people. And in the last seven years, I've shifted so much. I'm still competitive, still wanna win, but I'm not like hurt if I lose. I'm not upset, it doesn't defeat me emotionally,

whereas before it used to be like, this was my identity. Winning, had to win. Now it's like, okay, what did I learn? What did I gain from this experience? Did I have fun? Did I enjoy it? Did I inspire people even if I didn't win in this situation? In chapter two, you talk about negativity

and the quote you use is, it is impossible to build one's own happiness on the unhappiness of others. Does competition and unhappiness link together in your mind? Like if we need to be competitive to be happy in order if someone else loses, how do we manage ourself in this competitive world of winning in sports, of building a bigger business, of these different things, being number one in New York Times best sellers? How do we manage that with this world we're in, but also wanting to be happy at the same time? Yeah, what a great question.

So the way I see it is that competition in and of itself is not good or bad. And this is like the monk mindset on 99% of things, that this mug is not good or bad. It could be filled with water or it could be filled with poison. Yes. And so competition, I'll give you an example as monks our competition is in how much love and respect we showed to each other that's your company that's what you compete on how long can we meditate so if any month is it and I did this plenty of times really if I sat there and I thought oh yeah look at him he's

scratching his back he got out. Your meditation just got destroyed. All the value. And so monks will never ask how long you meditate. They focus on how deep you meditate. And someone who meditates deep doesn't go on about how deep it was. But you compete for showing respect. You compete for serving each other.

You compete for how well you can collaborate. And I feel like you live this. Like I feel like you have this. I didn't used to do that. Yeah. But you did it now. You think like a monk. I feel like we're always trying to find a way where we can be better friends to each other and support each other. And so you're competing on that. And that's a positive competition that I think you can have. So you can still use, and this is the beautiful thing about the monk mindset. You can use any thing in a positive way. Now, in your second question about what does it mean about business and New York

Times bestseller list and being number one, this is how I see it. If while you're writing your book, if while you're recording your podcast, if you're sitting there going, I hope this is going to be number one, this better be number one. I hope I sell more copies than this person who's launching at the same time, because that's the only way. Well, guess what? Now the quality of your output right now has just dropped. Because guess what? You're now living 75% in the future and you're 25% right now. And guess what? This 25% is going to define that future goal and result. And your happiness. And your happiness. Whether you get the result or not. Totally. Whereas for me, when I was writing my book,

and of course I want my book to be a best selling book. Of course I want my podcast to do well. Of course, we don't do anything for it to be lost. Like no one does that. But what I do know is that when I'm creating, when I'm producing, when I'm writing, that's all I'm doing. See, the truth is that only 2%

of the world's population can multitask. Now, the crazy thing is when people hear that, they think, oh, I'm in that 2%. Everyone thinks that, that they're in that. But most of us are the 98%. And the truth is there is no such thing as multitasking. What it is, is fast switching between two tasks. The quality is just dropping. Because you cannot do two things at one time. You cannot. No one genuinely can do two things at once. I guess you could maybe like pat your head and do this at the same time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can't do something productive at the same time, right?

Or creative. And so what I'm saying is that when you're sitting here going, this needs to be number one, you are reducing that thing's ability to be number one because it now doesn't have your full focus. Right. So that's the difference maker that you can want to be number one. There's nothing wrong with that. But you can't keep comparing what number one is to someone else's goal too because everyone's got a different trajectory.

Like there are some people that are kind of come in and do really well at one thing and you're going to do really well at another. And that's why competition has to first be in your space. Like don't compete in a space that's why competition has to first be in your space like don't compete in a space that's not yours right because now you're just trying to be someone else again and you get a new identity a new identity exactly you talk about the four motivations one is fear desire duty and love and as i was reading this you know fear is kind of like the making sure you have your basic needs met right it's like's like, do I have shelter?

Do I have food? Am I protected? Am I safe? You know, living in fear, it's being driven to get out of that fear, I guess. Right. Or driven by that. Then you have desire, which is probably what was most of my life, was my one of my main motivation, which was desire.

Seeking personal gratifications through success, wealth and pleasure. desire, seeking personal gratifications through success, wealth, and pleasure. That's probably most of like, I don't know, any teenage boy, you know, who's just like watching the media and seeing what their friends do. They're driven by desire, girls, money, cool toys, results, success. I don't want to generalize it, but that's what I saw a lot growing up. Sure, me too. Now, the last two, the third and fourth, are duty and love. Duty is motivated by gratitude, responsibility, and the desire to do the right thing. And love is compelled by care for others and the urge to help them. And I feel like in the last seven years, it's been more duty and love. It's more like mission focused. And there's an amount of happiness that I've never felt before until I reached practicing duty and love.

And I remember I never was able to fall asleep at night until about seven, eight years ago without an hour, hour and a half of just anxious, anxiety, stress, concern, worry. And when it shifted from seeking personal gratifications to being motivated by a mission and love and gratitude, it's like I started to fall asleep within minutes. And it's crazy. But why do we live in this fear motivation and desire motivation when it only causes us a lot of pain?

Great question, man. And thanks for sharing your journey too. Because I mean, everyone, as you can see, Lewis is already thinking like a monk. So it's great. I love it. But it's, so yeah, great question. The challenge is that we think things come with emotions.

Feelings. We think things come with feelings and emotions. And guess what they don't so if you chase money well they might for a moment right or they won't i don't think they even do it's such a false sense of feeling i don't maybe for a moment but it's so short-lived that it's it's not even worth counting almost so it's like when you when you think that i'm chasing money guess what you will get money yep and that's great. Money is really important. Money is a really important resource. But guess what? Money is not now going

to fill that gap, that void, that feeling, that emotion that you're missing in your life. What are most people missing? We're missing a deep sense of love. I think the biggest need in the world, as we've heard many times before from all the ancient texts, they summarize it like this, to love and be loved. Like that is the need of humanity, to love and be loved. And when we don't experience that, we then start looking for status. We then start looking for money. Then we then start looking for recognition. To help us give the feeling of false sense of love.

Correct. And the challenge is because most of us didn't experience that from our parents and this is the key thing. What we crave in life is what we did or didn't get from our parents.

What our parents did give us is what we continue to crave or what they didn't give us is what we continue to crave. So you'll find that most people's love languages that they chase are things that their parents

didn't give them. So if their parents didn't give them so if their parents didn't give them time they now crave everyone's time if their parents didn't give them gifts they crave gifts if their parents didn't give them acts of service they're craving those acts of service so it's because of our childhood and if we don't learn to process all of that experience which most people never get the time to do. And I empathize with that because I've had to go through that. I've seen me repeating my parents' patterns. I've seen me-

What was the thing you were craving? So I would crave, a big thing for me was I would crave surprises and gifts because- That's your thing. Yeah, that's my thing. Still it's your thing.

It's still my thing. And I- Did your parents not do that for you? No, they did. My mom did a lot of it. That's why you still crave it. Correct. So my mom would always, every year on my birthday, she'd always surprise me with the one thing

I wanted. And I wasn't spoiled growing up. I didn't have a lot growing up. But she would get that one thing, whether it was like a Power Rangers toy or whatever it was. Video games. Yeah, the thing is, you want it as a kid, right? And she would always surprise me with that.

And that became so deep-rooted. i'll give you an example when i then married my wife you just expect people to know that that they're gonna do the same thing totally and she didn't do that no because i'm expecting my wife to be like my mom in the sense of i expected a surprise or show me love in the same way and she doesn't know that she's not a mind reader i can't explain expect her to know that. So it took communication. It took time for me to explain that. So anyway, I think that's where it stems from.

That desire, you can say it comes from society and education. Of course it does. But I think the deepest place it comes is what your parents did or didn't give you. That's where it comes from. Yeah, yeah. Now, this was really cool. I think right now there's a lot of anxiety.

There's a lot of concern. There's a lot of concern. There's a lot of fear in the world with coronavirus and just people concerned in general of the chaos of their life, whether it's coronavirus or anything else that's happening. People seem to live in this fear state of mind right now a lot. You talked about the fear of fear and how you had to learn to let go of your fear of fear. What does it actually mean, letting go of the fear of fear? Yeah. So I talk about how we fear the wrong things.

What do we fear? So most of us are fearful of how our friends are reacting, what's happening on social media, and what's the random bit of news that we heard. None of it is fact-based. That's one of the biggest issues that we have. It's worry-based. It's worry-based. None of it is fact-based. That's one of the biggest issues. It's worry-based. It's worry-based and it's also imagination-based. So we become fiction writers. We've all watched too many movies. Now we start writing these beautiful movies in our head. We're not beautiful, scary movies in our head of what may happen. So our imagination, and Seneca said it best, we suffer twice. One in reality and one in imagination right we suffer twice and this

is what actually happens to us and then the story we continue to tell ourselves now there's this incredible study in the book that i have to talk about so they took monks and they took non-monks and they competed against each other literally so they put this plate where you experience heat and so what happens is the non-monks touch this plate now this plate heats up gradually softly and then at one point it gets really hot for 10 seconds and it cools down and so what happened is that when the non-monks touched it the anxiety and pressure and stress in their brain just triggered straight away even though it wasn't that hot it wasn't hot it was heating but it wasn't hot to do anything major to you but the anxiety and stress in imagination or in anticipation went through

the roof in the non-monks now this is what's fascinating when the monks touched it they showed that it didn't feel anything as it rose but as it got to its highest they felt physical pain but they showed no trigger of emotional pain because they did not assign any emotional Element to that pain. So my point with that is you can look at the news right now and you can get scared straight away and Get incomplete freeze mode feeling stuck paralyzed Whatever it is because what you're now doing is you're creating a story of what's going to happen Mm-hmm, and that story you can cause sickness in yourself is what you're now doing is you're creating a story of what's going to happen. And that story- And you can cause sickness in yourself.

You can cause sickness inside yourself. Just by the story, not actually- The reality. The facts of the disease hitting you or something happening physically to you. Totally. And that story, again, can be used positively. So your story may actually be true.

But if it's gonna be true, now you can prepare. And that shifts you away from being scared because now you're preparing. Yes. You can be confident because you're prepared. Exactly.

And so we should be shifting our fear energy into preparation energy. Because what fear does is it keeps you locked there. Right? We just feel stuck. I'll give you an example.

When you were preparing for big games, when you used to play in the NFL, and you're playing American football against some of the biggest athletes in the world, it's like you can either sit there and be scared that you're going to play this game on the weekend, or you can prepare. And your confidence is in the preparation. So when people go, how do I feel confident right now?

Are you preparing? Are you putting the reps? Are you putting the reps? Are you building your immunity? Are you taking your vitamins? Are you drinking the reps? Are you putting the reps? Are you building your immunity? Are you taking your vitamins? Are you drinking lots of water? Are you drinking lots of water? Are you taking the steps that are needed to prepare for whatever's coming? You will feel more confident that way. Yeah. So how do we learn to let go of the fear of fear though? Like how do we say, okay, we're only going to allow it to hurt us when it actually hurts us and not the fear of

it. Is there a process? Is there just an awareness of this that when you're in anxiety, worry, stress, fear, you just breathe and meditate then? What's the process of letting go of the fear of fear? Yeah. So meditation, mindfulness, powerful tools, but I'd say the process, and I want it to be as tactical and strategic as we can. The thing is to get really close to that fear. So what we usually do is embrace it, get close to it, get intimate with it. Become the bat. Sit in the bat cave. Literally, yeah. Embrace the fear. Totally. We run away from fear. We like to run away and go, oh, it's not coming with me. Or what we do is we hear one thing and we define the whole understanding of our fear based on that one thing. So it's like someone, and I'll give you a normal example in a normal life scenario.

Yes. Someone says to you in the office, you know that they're going to cut a few people. Uh-huh. And you don't even check. You don't even know. Is it real? And now you just made it real and now you're running with it and you're trying to run away from it.

So you're trying to avoid conversations with your boss. You're trying to avoid any conflict. You're trying to, you know, you're just trying to avoid any conflict you're trying to you know you're just a great example you're just trying to avoid it and so actually what you need to do is go okay let me actually discover that fear let me go intimate with that fear let me ask myself where's that fear coming from what am i really scared of what am i really scared of am i really scared of losing my job am i scared of not having any money what am i really scared of And when you get to the root, and I call it the why ladder in the book. So it's asking yourself, what am I scared of? And then go, why am I scared of this? Why am I scared of this? Why am I scared of this? And when

you can't ask why any longer, you've got to the answer. And that's what you have to deal with. Most of us are not dealing with what we're actually scared of. So that's how you let go. You let go by keep asking yourself. So I'll give an example of mine. Like if I heard that or if you hear that in your office that people are getting cut, it's like you just get scared and panicked. But the question is, why am I scared of that? Am I scared of that because I haven't been working hard for six months? Am I scared of that because I've been skipping meetings? Am I scared of that because I know my boss will probably find me first? Or am I scared because I've been performing really well and I'm expecting a promotion? Knowing which one it is, it sets you up to build the path forward. Not knowing that just puts you in this panic frenzy. I think also like doing all the things you talked about,

which is discovering within yourself, being aware of it, but then also just have the conversation. 100%. Confront it with your manager, your boss and say, hey, listen, I heard some rumors that there might be some cuts and I want to let you know that I'm 100% committed to doing whatever it takes to help this company grow. Yes, 100%. I believe in this mission more than anything. Here's what I've been doing the last three months and here's what I want to continue to do.

Is there anything else I can do? Totally. Like show them, they're like, why you shouldn't get cut. Exactly. And that's, you know how to approach that discussion when you know which side you're on, what your fear is. I remember as a freshman playing football, I was playing division two football in Minnesota. They usually registered all the freshmen. And I went into this with a big ego thinking like, I'm going to start, or at least I want to play. Right. So I went into it with an ego

in the first place, but I also, which wasn't good, but I also went into it with some things that were good from this conversation. I told the coach straight up, like, I know you wasn't good but I also went into with some things that were good from this conversation I told the coach straight up like I know you don't play freshman but my intentions to play what is it gonna take for me in order to get on the field you know do I need to get here early don't need to stay late can I sit here in the office with you after the before practice and go over game film whatever it was and he was he told me yeah I need you to come in the office every single day and watch game film. Whatever it was. And he told me, yeah, I need you to come in the office every single day and watch game film with me. I need to be with your receiver coach every single day beforehand and doing reps.

And I just did it. And I eventually started to play my freshman year. I didn't start in the beginning, but I started to start at the end. And that, for me, was powerful. It's like I addressed it because I wanted to play and I was afraid I wasn't going to play at all and just waste a year of practicing like every other freshman would do there. That was my ego going in because I wanted to play and I was afraid I wasn't going to play at all and just waste a year of practicing like every other freshman would do there. That was my ego going in like I need to play.

But I was also like I'll do whatever it takes and I'll practice and I'll confront it with conversation and say this is my intention, this is my vision and I'm going to do whatever it takes for you. And so I think that in a workplace, you've got to be confronting it and be proactive in your communication. Correct. And that's a perfect example of getting close to fear rather than running away from it.

Exactly. Spot on, man. For me, my whole mission in the last year and moving forward, the next projects I'm working on are all about belief in yourself. I believe self-doubt is the killer of dreams. And I believe that, and you have this amazing graph in here, it's about ego versus self-esteem. How do we build self-belief, self-esteem, self-confidence, while also not allowing our ego to be so big

and think we can just do anything? How do we balance ego and self-confidence so they don't hurt each other? Yeah, absolutely. And what we experience most of the time is extremes. So the two extremes that most of us experience are either I have to think I'm the best, I'm the best in the world, I can crush anyone.

I'm going to show everyone what I'm like. Or most of us experience the other extreme, which is I'm the worst. I'm the stupidest. I'm the dumbest. I'm the most worthless. I'm the dumbest. I'm the most worthless. I'm the biggest loser. Notice how that's both ego.

Really? Yes. Why is the negative ego? So the ego wants to be the best of the best or the ego wants to be the worst of the worst. The ego won't accept being in the middle. Really? The ego wants to feel the deepest sense of being the lowest. And that's where victim mentality is actually a subsequence of ego. Really? Yeah. That's how it's explained

in the Bhagavad Gita because the point is that you can't deal with just being bad. You have to be the worst. My pain is the worst. I think Jada talked about this on your podcast where she was like, you know, I had to tell people why my hurt was more painful than their hurt and they could never understand how bad it was. Exactly. Exactly. That's ego as well. So you see these two sides of ego keeping us locked away. And so the only way to get with that and the only way to balance it and bring it all into one is genuine self-honesty. Honesty is the best place to be. and bring it all into one is genuine self-honesty. Honesty is the best place to be.

And the best thing about honesty is I'm really good at this, I'm really average at that, and I'm really bad at that. And the challenge we have with that is most of us have no idea. We just have zero self-awareness about what we are good at, what we are bad at, and what we're average at. So we think, I'm pretty average at everything. I'm pretty good at everything. And when I hear those answers, I'm like, simple things.

Just go and talk to people that know you. Yeah, what am I great at? Ask them, what's my superpower? What do I do differently? What do you think I do that is different that no one else does? And guess what? I guarantee you, if you ask a colleague, if you ask a friend, if you ask a family member, if you ask people from... They'll say different things too.

They'll say different things. But you get to learn about yourself. So real confidence comes from knowing your strengths and going all in on them. Your confidence does not come from just standing up the right way or just saying the right stuff to yourself. Body language only. And that's important. I'm a big believer in all of that. But what I'm saying is that that doesn't build real confidence.

Real confidence comes from thinking, I'm really good at this. I know I can do this and I love doing it. And really, this is the most important bit. Confidence comes from serving other people. When you see the impact you have on others, and this is the biggest issue, the reason why we have such low self-esteem today in the world is because people are not serving others. So they don't see the profound impact they have on others when you put out a video or a podcast and people tag you on instagram and they say lewis you stopped me from depression or you helped me out of a divorce yeah or people when they watch my content they'll be like that stopped me from committing suicide or whatever it's when you see that you get such a deep sense of self

worth that you matter and guess what everyone. Whether you matter to one people or one million people, everyone matters. But if you see your impact on someone's life, you will feel such a deep sense of self-worth. And so whether you're serving at a, giving out free food or whether you're serving at a local charity place or whether you're serving through your work, serve, serve, serve. Because when you take that step, you get a boost of self-esteem. But why do so many of us live in fear and desire mode as opposed to duty and love mode? Why is that? Like, why are we still focused on self

as opposed to service? It's conditioned, it's conditioned, right? I've said this before that we're wired for generosity, but we're educated for greed. I think I just said it to you two years ago when I was on the podcast. It's like, and when I said that, and And when I said that, and it's so true, we're wired for generosity, but we're educated for greed. Because what happens is when we're kids, you'll see kids go out their way,

they want to share. And then as we get older, we're told that there's less. And this is what the key is. As we get older, we're told there are finite numbers of how many kids get made on the basketball or baseball team. We're told there's a finite number of college spaces. We're told there's a finite number of how many tickets there are. We're told there's a finite number of people that are successful. Guess what? In the theater of happiness, there are infinite and unlimited seats. And there is a seat with your name on it. There is a seat with your name on it in the theater of dreams, in the theater of happiness. But you think that because you think that there are only 100

people allowed in, that if someone else makes it before you, that you don't get in. And guess what? Is there a cap on how many billionaires there are in the world? No. No. Is there a cap on how many millionaires there are in the world? No. No. Is there a cap on how many billionaires there are in the world? No. No. Is there a cap on how many millionaires there are in the world? No. No. Is there a cap on how many happy people there are in the world? No. And that's why I really am encouraging Forbes.

I want Forbes, forget printing a rich list, print a happy list, print a service list. Print a list of who is serving. We should do that. We should do that. Who is serving the most in the world? Wow. That'll be competition based. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Sure. I gave more than you gave. And that's why it should be service based on time, energy, and money. Because we should start showing how much time people give, how much energy people give. Mother Teresa, I don't think she gave any money to her charities. Right. But she gave a lot of time and energy. Yeah.

You know, you look at all the people who made a change in the world, Martin Luther King, Gandhi, like, they may not have given a lot of money to stuff. Yeah. They gave time and energy. You don't have to give resources, but your resourcefulness, your love, your time, your focus, your attention, your compassion. Love that.

You know, resourcefulness of the heart, not of the wallet, I think is key. Love that. And you don't need to have a lot of money to make a big impact. You don't. And this is the training. See, we've been educated for greed because we've been told everything's limited.

There's limited number of this, limited number of this. And every time you play in numbers, and I think it was Bob Marley who said it, but every time you play in numbers, you'll always be dissatisfied. Because guess what? Someone's always going to have more. Someone's always going to have more. I was speaking to a friend recently, and this friend was telling me that he, you know, bought a home, which is very expensive.

Yes. Very, very expensive. And he went to a home, which is very expensive. Yes. Very, very expensive. And he went to a party at someone else's house. And he told me that when he was getting a tour of this party, he found out that this person had a painting on his wall, which cost the amount his house cost. And so he was joking with me. He was like, that guy's painting.

He's got my house on his wall. And that just puts things in a perspective and you think about that like and then you look at someone like jeff bezos and you think oh well he's the richest man in the world but does he have the most fame no he doesn't right does he have the most beauty uh subjective decision does he have the most strength or power maybe not and so no one has the most of everything. So when you measure yourself by numbers, you'll always be second, third, fourth, fifth in something. And I think by measuring yourself

by needing to have the most of anything is probably a recipe for unhappiness. I'm like, well, okay, I'm not gonna have the most of anything, but I'm gonna have the most money. You're still gonna be unhappy. Totally. Even if you have the most of something,

doesn't mean you're gonna be happy totally I think it was Albert Einstein who said it best that not everything that can be counted counts and not everything that counts can be counted mm-hmm and and I love that because it removes this belief that things are finite and limited there's not if you want to be happy and successful if no matter than there are 700,000 podcasts if that is your Dharma if that's your calling if that's your purpose like you can do that there's no cap on on how many successful soccer players that can exist at the same time or how many books are out in the world there's no cap there's no one

stopping you and that's the mindset that we're educated for that scarcity and greed. And what's the difference between the monkey mind and the monk mind? Yeah. I'm glad you brought that up.

So the monkey mind is what we experience on a day-to-day basis. The monkey mind is restless. The monkey mind is jumping from branch to branch. The monkey mind's trying to find a bigger banana.

The monkey mind is constantly just like feeling flustered, dissatisfied, scarce, and overthinking everything. The monk mind is the exact opposite. The monk mind is calm and composed.

The monk mind knows to be focused and aware. The monk mind knows. So everything in this book and everything that we're talking about is the transformation from the monkey mind that we experience to the monk mind. The monkey mind is almost the enemy to the monk mind. It's the opposite. Yes. And how does someone who is living in a sense of scarcity, because there are people living in scarcity where they're unable to pay their bills,

they're unable to provide food for their kids, they're single moms, they're stressed, they're stressed, they're overwhelmed. It's hard to get into a sense of abundance when you're in scarcity and stress. So how does someone find purpose in chaos when they can't even get out of the thinking because they're just trying to survive? Yeah. So beautiful question. My biggest answer is, first of all, I empathize with anyone who's been in that situation having, I can't ever say I've been in that situation in the same way, but I've experienced similar things. You've seen the feeling in your life. Yeah. In my own way. And I've seen my mom go through stuff like that. I know that my mom worked really hard to raise me and my sister while working, while running around.

And I've seen my mom be that incredible powerhouse of a person. And the main thing I would say is what you can do right now is find meaning in what you do. Make what you do meaningful, passionate, and purposeful. You don't need to suddenly look to become an entrepreneur or start a side hustle or find some more time. Find meaning. And the way you find meaning as you genuinely stop, press pause for a second and go, what am I living for? Like, what am I living for right now? And if you're living for your child and if you're living to provide and put food on the

table, that is a beautiful thing that we should celebrate more. And sometimes it takes us a moment to stop and celebrate that. And so I would say find meaning because you can't always find happiness. You can't always find positivity, but you can always find meaning in that position. So I'll give an example. Like I lost someone really important to me,

a mentor a few days back. I can't be positive about that. You can't be happy about that. Yeah. It's hurtful. You feel sad, you feel lost, but guess what? I can find meaning in it

because I can make a list of every lesson he taught me and make a plan to try and live every one of those lessons. Wow. That's beautiful. And so if you're in

a really tough situation right now, don't look for positivity. Don't look for happiness. Look for meaning. That's a good one. Not trying to, and not trying to get

yourself out of pain too quickly or discomfort or frustration. Yeah. Which I've been in a guilt of being like, I'll just be positive or whatever to people. But I pain too quickly or discomfort or frustration, which I've been the guilt of being like, I'll just be positive or whatever to people. But I think it's like, you know, have your experience,

live your experience, and find meaning as quickly as possible and create a commitment to how you want to use that meaning moving forward. Okay, I may not be great tomorrow, maybe not next week, next month, but I'm going to use this meaning to serve other people, to continue to do what I love, continue to be great to my friends, my family in the best way possible. And when you start doing those small things with love and kindness, so much more opens up. It's like when you can be trusted with the small things and the small moments you get trusted with more and more and more and so like it helps to just in that moment and it's in those painful moments that you realize

how powerful you are we all know that like you really recognize it and and what you said was beautiful about not rushing through the pain because and and you know this example has probably been shared before but if you have a wound and you've cut yourself it's like you can't rush the healing you can't rush the healing. You can't rush it. If you broke your arm, I mean, and you've been through so many bodily injuries, you can't rush the process. It's going to take six weeks minimum to heal a broken bone. Correct.

Yeah, minimum. And you've got to sit through that. It's painful. There's no injections you can take. There's no videos you can watch. There's nothing you can listen to. But our challenge is we try and rush through the pain Rather than reflect through the pain We try to rush the healing process rush the healing and you can't rush healing and healing is meant to be slow because it buys you

Time it buys you reflection It gives you so much space to slow down to slow down and that's what your body is calling out for and this is our Emergency like how many times have you heard it where you slow down? You slow down and that's when you fall ill How many times have you heard it where you slow down, you slow down, and that's when you fall ill? Because guess what? Your body has been trying to tell you to slow down. When you feel pain, so I write about it and think like a monk, pain makes you pay attention.

That's what pain is for. Notice this. Notice this. Look at me. Notice me. Look at me. It's like a crying baby craving for attention. When a baby's crying, you don't just go, oh, it's crying. You don't just go,

oh, yeah, we'll just put it in another room and forget about it, right? You go to it and you find its needs. Whereas without pain, when something's painful, we're just like,

oh, yeah, I'll just forget about it. I'll escape from it. I'll do something else. You have to go into that pain. I'll numb the pain. I'll numb the pain. That's it.

With alcohol or whatever. 100%. That's usually our response is, what can I do to numb this? Work more, have sex more, drink more, drive more, whatever it is. Rather than, let me actually become alert. And guess what? The pain just gets higher and higher and higher and higher. Because unfortunately, until it really hurts, we don't stop. Or you need more and more to numb it with.

So true. And so you go down the extremes of life, right? So true. Now, what's been the most painful thing you've had to experience since? Because I know leaving the monkhood was painful for you because this was a mission of yours that you wanted to have for your whole life. And I think you were there for three and a half years. So what's been the most painful thing, I guess, in the last six or seven years since that

time that you've had to reflect back on, take notice of attention to and reevaluate that's a great question I think for me it was in 2016 I moved out to New York so just let me paint a picture of 2016 I moved three jobs I got married I moved country and I just just tried a whole new life. Like my life just transformed. So we went through all of that with my wife in one year. And by the way, all of that was surprises. The job change was surprises. The country change was a surprise.

The marriage was not a surprise. We planned that. But apart from everything else, everything was a surprise. Now I said I like surprises so I can roll with it. But my point is that's a lot of transition in a year. So much transition. And I felt the burden of being in a new city where we had no family, we had no friends. And my wife, who loves being around her family and no one understands just how close she is to them.

I felt this burden on me that I had taken away her time with her family. And now she was alone. So I was going out to work and she'd be crying at home. And I was thinking, she's got no friends, she's got no support. And I know you can relate to this, we're moving and relationships and so much going on. And so it's like, I'm dealing with that.

And guess what? Six months later, I have to leave and move on and work on a new career to build everything myself. And then I'm four months away from being broke. And so on top of all of this, I then I'm four months away from being broke. And so on top of all of this, I've now got four months away from being broke. I've got enough money saved for four months to pay for rent and groceries.

And that's it. In New York City. And that's it. And guess what? Even on top of that, I've got 30 days before my visa runs out and I'm kicked out of the country. So I can't even live here anymore.

So not only have I just got married, moved job three times, changed career again, had to move into a apartment, four months of being broke, and I might get kicked out in 30 days. And my renewal for my visa costs $15,000. So that's going to eat into those four months. I have probably never been under that much emotional, physical, and mental pressure in my life. Like genuinely, I felt it. And I felt my body change. My breath was more stressed. I would be breathing faster, shorter breaths, not deep breaths, heart beating faster, not working out. You get into lazy habits. You start craving junk food. I'm living in a 500 square foot apartment with my wife, which is tiny. Like everything's

in that space. And guess what? We both work from home home so I'm now sitting at a desk hunched over trying to figure stuff out she's trying to cook in the same room like I'm trying to just just trying to figure out what to do and I remember the next morning sending like a hundred emails to people and just being like this is who I am this is what I can do how can we serve and that was the same year that I ended up meeting you later in that year and the beginning three months of that journey was so stressful like they were so stressful because I was like what if I have to move back to London what am I going to say to her parents I mean I just took their daughter away like just got married I've lived in New York City for six months and my life's falling apart like you know so much and I've got all these York City for six months and my life's falling apart. Like, you know, so much.

And I've got all these views, but there's nothing happening here. But you also, I mean, at this time, you're also growing so much. How are you able to create and reach this impact with your videos? That's growing while you're under so much stress and uncertainty. And I stopped a bit at that time. Like, things slowed down hard. Like, things slowed down. I remember that. I wasn't creating as much as I was because I don't enjoy creating from stress or pressure.

And I don't think you can really create something from stress and pressure. So we really slowed down at that time. And when I was creating, I was creating from a place of recognizing that I could share what I had learned and what I had grown in so far. So anything I was sharing was like, this is what I've learned so far. So that was the biggest pain that I've been through in the last seven years, for sure. And all I can say is that I remember coming home to my wife, knowing that this was going to be the truth. And I came home and I said to her, I said to her, I guarantee you, this is going to be the best thing that ever happened to us. What? The pain? The pain. I said that to her the night I came home. And then she gave up. I literally came home. I looked her in the eyes and go, this is the scenario.

And I just want you to know that I guarantee to you, this is the best thing that's ever going to happen to us. And I said to her, and this is a monk statement that we used to repeat. I said to her, I'm just not going to judge the moment. Don't judge the moment. Because what we do is we try to label moments as good or bad. And when you label a moment as bad, it now does not have the opportunity to become good. I'll give an example. If I go, I don't like this book. This book's bad, right?

And I love this book. But if I say that, guess what? I will never pick it up and recognize the value that's inside of it because you've labeled it. And we label stuff. Like we label, oh, that restaurant's bad. But when you label a moment-

That person's bad. That person's bad. Now you can't learn from that person. Oh, great, that restaurant's bad. But when you label a moment. That person's bad. That person's bad. Now you can't learn from that person. Oh, great one. That's a really good one. As soon as you start labeling people or anything as good or bad, you limit it. You stop it from being something else. And here's the truth.

Every moment can evolve into being anything if you give it the opportunity to. Right. But as soon as you say it's got no value anymore, you lose it. And so for me, I had to say to myself, don't judge the moment. And I'd keep repeating that. Don't judge where you're at. Don't judge what's happening. Don't judge it as negative.

Don't just start saying it's negative. Because guess what? We've all been in positions where a gift turned into a curse and a curse turned into a gift. That's true. Right? We've also been in the opposite. Where our dreams came true and it ended up not being what we wanted. Exactly.

And it fell apart and it led us into our dreams. Totally. Why is it that so many people that win the lottery go broke? Yeah. Gifts can turn into curses too. That's true. But because we label them as the best moment in our life or the worst moment in our life. Whereas when you approach things to neutrality and just what you have on the table, you can

be like, okay, what am I going to do next? That's why the greatest quarterbacks are neutral energy. They'll get a little excited. They'll get a little fist pump in there every now and then, but they're not hyped every play and they're not negative every play. They have this calm. They see the field there. You drop a pass and it's like a little bit, let's go. But it's very neutral. Even when you score a touchdown, unless it's maybe the Super Bowl or a big championship at the end of a game, in the middle of the game, you want to keep it pretty like even keel paced

so you can prepare for the best or the worst. That's great. Yeah. But you're always up and down. It's like your energy levels will go up and down and you'll be exhausted. You need to have energy in life. Totally.

And if everything is tied around a story of, this is bad, this is wrong, I'm in a bad place, I'm messing up, I'm going broke, that energy is going to pull you away from service. Exactly. Or creation, or creativity of how do I get out of this place. So I think it's really powerful. I love that.

And I used to have a coach, and I think a lot of coaches use this, or at least he used to say to us, he would be like, if you lose, cry for a day. if you celebrate if you win celebrate for a day yeah and then move on the next day get back to training don't don't let it run in the past don't live in the past and what we do is when we lose we cry for a month and when we win we just move on yeah which means that our negative experiences hold us back and weigh us down more than our positive experiences. So true.

So we're actually allowing, because we don't immerse ourselves in winning and growth, we only submerge ourselves in negative experiences. Yeah. We need to celebrate also. We try to celebrate. I've been, you know, that's been part of my life as well. It's like moving on too quick. And now we try to like, let's enjoy. Let's go to lunch or dinner and really like appreciate this moment and celebrate this moment even have a dinner with some friends and family

Otherwise, why are we working so hard for 100% and we almost feel like we can't We can't do that because that makes us complacent, right? But that's my point never good enough exactly But if you win celebrate for a day if you lose cry for a day move on It's never good enough. Exactly. But if you win, celebrate for a day. If you lose, cry for a day and move on. Simple. And you've learned so many lessons over your years.

As a monk, you learned a ton of lessons, moving to, you know, getting married, moving into a new country, building companies, launching products and books, and you've had ups and downs. What's been the biggest lesson in the last 12 months for you? Because you've learned, you've created so much in the last 12 months. You've done so many things. What's been the biggest lesson for you because you've learned you've created so much in the last 12 months you've done

so many things what's been the biggest lesson for you in your life oh that's a big question what about what's my biggest lesson in the last 12 months i want to give you a really i want to give you the real i'm going to think about whether it's something new or something that you already knew but you had to relearn for whatever reason i think think I'd have to say that it's a, and I was saying it to a friend on the phone this morning when I was on the way to you, and I was just sharing it with him because he was having a moment in recognizing this. There's a wonderful verse in the Manusmriti, which I talk about in Think Like a Monk. It's a monk book.

And in the verse, it says says when you protect your purpose your purpose protects you now i want to i want to unpack that what i mean by that is your purpose is like a rare jewel and a rare gemstone and imagine you were walking around with the most expensive diamond or jewel in the world. How would you protect it? You wouldn't just wear it on your chest like a baby. Holding it. Yeah.

Putting a pillow around it, a blanket. You'd protect it. You'd protect it. And so your purpose is like that. And guess what? People are going to tell you every day that that jewel is not worth anything. They're going to tell you that that jewel is actually valueless. It doesn't have any impact on your life.

They're going to try and take away that value. They're going to tell you that there's another jewel out there that you need to have more value. And what ends up happening is you don't, I love the word, look at the wording, protect your purpose. You have to protect it. So what happens is your success grows, you get more opportunities, more ideas, more things coming your way. You have to protect it. So what happens is your success grows. You get more

opportunities, more ideas, more things coming your way. Temptations. Temptations. But they can all take you away from your purpose. Distractions. Distractions. And to me, I'm repeating this for myself because I'm like, I just want to stick to what I was born to do. And I'm so grateful that I get to do it. I'm so happy I get to do it. And I want to keep protecting it. I don't want to get lost in the waves You know, you don't just get chucked in the waves of the ocean and just get lost and just not know where you're going So for me when you protect your purpose your purpose protects you so that's been your biggest lesson. That's my biggest lesson Why do you feel like your purpose has been maybe distracted?

But I'm saying it so it doesn't Reminding myself like I'm preaching to myself right now. Especially being in Hollywood and the temptation of all these opportunities out here. Totally. And I think for me, it's a bigger lesson also because it gives me more faith. So I always encourage, and this is actually why it's my biggest lesson. I encourage so many people that I coach, so many people that I mentor, obviously everyone in my community and audience and everything,

to go and follow that, go and live that purpose and i see time and time again that when i see people trying to live their purpose they are protected that it things work when you're playing in your dharma and your purpose things work things move you feel momentum happen they happen and i'm not saying they happen without effort but but they happen. They move. Whereas when you're not, you just constantly feel like you're grinding up against, you know, a wall. I know. Challenges. Just constant. So what is your purpose and when did you discover it?

Good question. My purpose is simple. It always has been since, not since the beginning because I discovered it afterwards. My purpose is making wisdom go viral. And I've stuck with that and I've kept it that way because to me, and there's more to it, making wisdom go viral through entertainment, I would say is my purpose, because I believe that that is something

that is uniquely my goal, impact, and service. And that's why it has to be yours. It's your gift, it's your passion, it's your love, it's your talent, it's everything in one It's your love. It's your talent. It's everything in one. And the beautiful thing is I'm not limited to a platform. So that can be books. It can be podcasts. It can be TV shows. It can be movies. It's not limited. And this I learned by reading. I was reading after, and this was after my video started to get seen. This wasn't before I did it. It wasn't like I sat down and I wrote this fancy tagline I was reading Salim Ismail's book called exponential organizations and in this book he talks about something called an MTP a massive transformational

purpose and he says that every major person organization in the world has an MTP so an MTP has to be aspirational it has to be massive and it has to be service and purpose based. So Google is organizing the world's information. Notice it doesn't say we're an SEO company. Notice it doesn't say we do Google ads. They're organizing the world's information. That's how big they're dreaming.

And when you're organizing the world's information, you can do driverless cars, you can do Google Glass, you can sell Google Ads, whatever it is. And so TED's is ideas worth spreading. That's what they are. That's what they're about. So Jay Shetty is making wisdom go viral. That's what I'm dedicated to. So when did you discover it? Because it wasn't when you were 10.

It wasn't when you were 21 in college. I'd say I was 30, probably two, three years ago. I'm 32 now. So I'd say like two, three years ago is when I discovered it. it 30 years old is when you discovered your purpose correct so what was your purpose before that my purpose before that was finding my purpose like it's like that process of just like my purpose before that was 14 years so I've been online for four years I've spent 10 years offline talking about the same stuff sharing the the same messages in talks, in universities, in small seminars, in coaching and mentoring.

Like I've been doing the same thing for 14 years, but I didn't realize it was my purpose until very recently. But I just did what I enjoyed and naturally tried to get better at it. So if we don't know what our purpose is and we're working towards finding our purpose, it's okay. That's actually where you're gonna spend most of your life. Discovering what your purpose is and we're working towards finding our purpose it's okay that's actually where you're going to spend most of your life discovering what your purpose is and that's the best bit because i think a lot of people are like well i don't know what my purpose is totally how do i

just how do i find it the pressure of finding your purpose is crazy will stop you from finding your purpose literally the pressure is so heavy and that's why it's not about finding that it's just starting with the basics. What am I good at? And I talk about it. I break down Dharma in here. And I talk about what is your passion? What is your expertise?

What is your compassion? Because that's really important. What is your compassion for the world? Like, what problem do you want to solve? I often, people will say there's so many things I could do. There's so many things. I'm like, my question is not what causes you the greatest joy. Sometimes my question is what causes you the greatest pain?

Mm-hmm make that your purpose make that your purpose if you don't know what your joy is You definitely know what your pain is. What do you not like in the world? And so for me go serve that thing 100% So for me the greatest pain I see in the world is people not reaching their potential That is that causes me more pain because I believe that there is someone out there who is stacking shelves, who has the cure to cancer. There is someone out there. Or is a talented singer. Is a talented singer. There is someone out there who's not living to their potential.

And I think we're better people, we're better partners, and we're better parents when we live to our potential. So that's what I'm trying to solve. And I'm not saying that's the biggest thing. I'm just saying it's my thing. Whenever I work with people, I'm always telling them to find your purpose, focus on what you're most passionate about or what you have the most pain around. There you go. It's the same thing.

So it's like, do the thing you love the most and keep doing it until you either discover that's it or maybe you don't love that anymore. Like I played so many sports growing up. I used to love baseball. I used to love soccer. And then I got bored with it. I got burnt out by it.

It wasn't a love of mine anymore. It wasn't a passion. And then I switched to football. And it was like, oh, this is a passion. And I'm actually more gifted physically for this sport than I would be for soccer. I was too big for soccer. Couldn't run seven miles a day, right, on the field.

But I think you need to try lots of things. And you might think it's a passion, but you might get burnt out and discover, eh, I don't love it anymore. What else is there? And keep trying new things. Like you said, eight new things a month. Yeah. Until you discover. Until you discover it.

And it might take you until you're 30, 40, 50, right? It doesn't matter. That doesn't matter. Yeah. Like, it doesn't matter. Like, the fun is in the growth and the journey. Like, for me, the last 10 years before this happened, and my life changed, it was like, those were fun.

I was happy. I wasn't unhappy because of that. Because you didn't know the exact purpose of your life. Yeah, exactly. And now I'm very clear on it. And I'm happy for it to evolve too. I don't think it has to stay the same. I may sit with you in two years' time

and tell you something completely different. Right. And I'm okay with that. But I can only work with what I have now. And I think we start trying to postpone our purpose or find a date by which you have to. You put a deadline on your purpose? It doesn't make any sense. Like, if you really care about it, how can you put a deadline on it?

I know. You just keep working towards it. What are three skills that everyone should try to learn in the next one to two years that will help them in their life tremendously? No matter who you are, where you live in the world, three things we could start to practice, learn, master that'll improve our life.

Yeah, that's a great question. You ask me a lot of great questions. Every Yeah, that's a great question. You asked me a lot of great questions. Every question. You reminded me of something which which I'm going to share is a bunch of years back, I went to the launch of Eric Schmidt's book, How Google Works. Nice. And I was in the audience. I didn't get to interview him or meet him or anything like that. But I remember sitting in the audience and there was someone else there who was interviewing him and talking and they were like, and someone asked this question from the audience. So a student got up and they said,

what do you think is the number one skill that students should be focusing on? And they said, everyone should become data analysts. They were like, everyone in this room should become, and I was sitting there going, I know nothing about being a data analyst. And I think sometimes we throw out these careers or like hard skills and technicals

and it's like, well, not everyone's going to vibe with that. So I just want to share that because I think so often like we get bad advice like that. I'm like, imagine I pursued becoming a data analyst. I know. And you have to also know the perspective of the person you're getting that advice from. So your perspective,

your three things that people should be taking on is going to come from your world perspective and your experience of what's worked for you. Correct. But what would you think? So I'd say the first one for me is learn how to have a conversation with yourself. Ooh.

Like, just learn how to have a conversation with yourself. Like, if you don't know, I'll give you, one of the studies that I share in the book, which I absolutely love, men and women were asked either to be alone with their thoughts for 15 minutes or they could give themselves an electric shock if they were bored. They took the shock.

30% of women chose an electric shock and 60% of men chose an electric shock because they didn't want to be alone with their thoughts. For 15 minutes. For 15 minutes. Why is that? Because we have not learned to have a conversation with ourselves. Or even love ourselves. No, we haven't.

And I think that starts with a conversation. I think you're right. We don't love ourselves, but that starts with learning to talk to yourself. So find time for you to talk to your own mind, to talk to yourself, to understand yourself, to find out. How many of us, when you go to a restaurant, you know whether you're gonna go back or not, right? You know whether you like it. When you go watch a a restaurant you know whether you're going to go back or not right you know whether you like it when you go watch a movie you know whether you're

going to like it or not so so yeah let me just say that again let me let me let me explain what i'm saying there when you go to a restaurant you know when you walk out whether you're going to go back there or not based on whether you like the food when you watch a movie you know whether you're going to recommend it to your friends based on whether you like to or not. Why do we keep visiting the same people, the same places and doing the same projects when they don't lift us up? So many of us are not aware of the same people that we hang around with that bring us down, the places that don't feed us, they drain our energy and the projects that don't light us up. But we keep going back there because we don't talk to ourselves. Because we don't talk to ourselves.

Like I can ask you, hey, did you like that restaurant? But when do we ask ourselves, hey, do I want to hang out with that person? Does that person want to be in this relationship? Do I want to be in this job? We just get scared of those conversations. So we avoid them. So that's first tip.

The second thing is- Learn to have a conversation with yourself. Learn to have a conversation with yourself. The second thing is know how your mind tricks you. So we used to play this game in the monastery where every time you lose to your mind, you put a scoreboard up and you put a one for the mind and zero for you. When you lose to the mind, meaning what? So let's say you make a commitment.

So I make a commitment that I'm not going to eat sugar. And then you do. And I do. The mind beats you. The mind beats me to it. So I'm going to put a one for the mind and a zero for me. It's great. It's great. It's competing with yourself in a good way. And I do. The mind beats you. The mind beats me to it. So I'm going to put a one for the mind and a zero for me. It's great.

It's great. It's competing with yourself in a good way. It's fun. Yeah. And people do this with like, I guess now with like dollar jars or whatever, like you put a dollar in. Or a swear. But that doesn't make sense because you end up making money every time you swear.

So, but if you beat your mind and you put it, it's great. Yes. So you have to start learning the tricks of your mind. When and how does your mind fool you into making bad decisions? That's good. If you know that. When did it fool you the most that it was the hardest for you to overcome? Great question. I'd say the number one time that my mind has fooled me. The greatest temptation. You're like, I want to, my mind's going to be me, but it hasn't.

Or what's the longest for you to let go of something? The simplest answer that I can think of straight away is sugar. Like I love chocolate and stuff, but that's not a good enough answer. Like that's definitely true. Like from before being a monk to being a monk, it was like the last thing you're like, ah, can I really let go of this? Yeah. I think the biggest thing was, it's probably ego.

Like it's wanting to, it's like walking into a room expecting respect, walking into a room expecting to be dealt in a certain way. Wow. To be like treated. Treated with, you buy your own hype, right? You fall for the stuff like that. Do you still fall for this sometimes? I think we all do.

Yeah, I think I would be in ego if I didn't say I did. That's the trick of the ego. The ego makes you think you're untouchable. And the ego makes you think that nothing about you can ever go wrong or you're perfect or not even that. Nothing can bring you down. Nothing can hurt you. Correct. The moment you think you

can't be brought down you will be brought down the moment you think that you can't that one of my teachers would always pray that he never and he's been a monk for 40 years he would always pray that he would never fall to his temptations and we said to him you haven't fallen to your temptation for 40 years why do you pray for that he, you haven't fallen to your temptation for 40 years. Why do you pray for that? He goes, I haven't fallen because I pray for it. Wow. Now he was like, because I pray for it, because I'm aware. Not just because I think it's going to, yeah. He's aware. And there's a beautiful story of, what's his name? Benjamin Franklin, where he talks about before he died, I believe he had 13 or 14 precepts. These were qualities that he wanted to live by and gain. So they're like simplicity, integrity, virtues, all these powerful things.

And he was asked when he was on his deathbed, which was the one he didn't accomplish. And he said the last one. That was humility. And that's like the display of humility. Like you can't think you're at humility and then be humble. Like that's not possible. It's an oxymoron. How do we stay humble with greatness happening?

You know, if you're achieving your dreams, you're making an impact, you're doing great stuff, how do you stay humble? I think the biggest one is surround yourself with people who are constantly better than you. And when I say better, I don't just mean materially. I mean, when I'm around my monk teachers, I just feel filthy.

Right. Like, they're so pure. Yeah, yeah, they're so pure that it's such a mirror reflection i'm around them i'm like whoa i've got so much yeah i've got so much like duh yeah and that's a good thing like i love being around them and they don't say that to me like they don't make me feel that way it's just that you get a mirror when you're around people who are transparent you get a reflection of yourself like so i get that when i'm with them so first thing is spend

time with people who are more spiritually elevated and more conscious because you get a reflection of yourself. So I get that when I'm with them. So first thing is, spend time with people who are more spiritually elevated and more conscious because you get a reflection without them even saying it. The second thing is, keep increasing your goal posts. Like most of us are not, our goals should keep us humble, not other people's goals. We try and think other people's goals keep us humble because we're looking at what people are doing. It's like your goal posts.

Should never be achieving or it should be bigger and bigger all the time. And the third one is always thank the people who gave you the gift that is being recognized. Like if you're being recognized for a gift, someone gave that to you somewhere. Thank your mentor. Thank your mentor. Thank your teachers. Give it back to them because I think we forget that you start thinking you're self-made and I don't think anyone's genuinely self-made. I just don't think that's true because someone had to give you an

interruption, an interaction, exchange, a skill, a gift, an idea, whatever it was. So that's the second one, I think. And the third one, the third skill. These are really fun questions. The first one is have a conversation with yourself learn how to have a conversation the second is know how your mind tricks you

and be fully aware of it and was the humility a part of that or no I would say that was just my personal example of what I think I can struggle with sometimes and the third skill

that everyone should learn the third skill everyone should learn is how to have difficult conversations with other people. So hard. Because I think that marriages are made of it, dating's made of it, friendships are made of it.

I think sometimes we've had some difficult conversations, like in the sense of I had to call you up and say, and it's like, I think we're good at that with each other, and that's why our friendship is strong, because I think we're honest with each other, and I feel that you feel comfortable telling me stuff. Like we've had email exchanges where you've been honest with me and I've been honest with you.

And I'm like, I think that's good because I think when you don't have tough conversations with people, your relationships just sit on the surface and they never go anywhere. And you learn about how deep the relationship is through the challenging conversations. You learn like, if you break up because of one bad conversation,

whether a friendship or family member, whatever, if you like distance each other because you can't handle this hard conversation or a challenging one, is the relationship strong? Do you want to be around this person more? Or maybe you shouldn't be around this person. So I think you learn about each other and you learn about the relationship during that.

I think that's a good one. So those are three good points. Relationships is something that you talk is probably the most engaged points on Instagram and on your social media content, your videos. I'm assuming 80% of the biggest ones are around relationships. It's an assumption. Maybe I'm wrong, but it seems to be like it triggers people, relationship information. Why is it so hard to be in an intimate relationship? And this is a general question, but what's the best way to enter an intimate relationship

with the intention of it working out long term? Yeah. Why is it so hard to be in an intimate relationship and what's the best way to enter one with the intention of having a beautiful experience together

long term? I think it's so hard because people don't know how they want to receive love and they don't know how to give love.

And like we said earlier that the old wisdom is like to love and be loved is the biggest need but we don't know how to love and how to give love. And we carry so much of our baggage from previous relationships and experiences and we bring them into a new person. So it's like that person treated me like that.

That must mean all men or all women are like that, which means now when I'm with this woman, I'm going to look at her through the lens of the last person and look for them to to to create this experience again right exactly yeah so you find evidence of why this person is this way exactly and so now you're approaching each person with the baggage of the last person which doesn't make sense you're not coming at it from a fresh new experience with the same lessons for yourself, but we start applying the lessons to the other person. So I think that's the reason why we struggle

to have an intimate connection. Now one of the things I talk about in here are the five types of attraction. And the reason why I think this is the best way to figure out- Attraction or love, language? No, no, these are the five types of attraction that I talk about.

So the five types of attraction are physical, financial, mental, emotional, and spiritual. And I'll explain what I mean by all of them. So physical is obvious. She or he is hot. Attracted to them. I'm attracted to them. Financial or wealth.

I like what they own. I like what they have. I like what they've achieved. I like that he went to Princeton or Harvard. I like that she's a scientist or a CEO. I like that she's a supermodel. Like you like their status, right? So you're attracted to that. The third thing that we're attracted to is people's mental abilities. This is like when you're attracted to someone's mind. Like you just love the way they think. You love the way they articulate themselves. You love all of that. Like you're attracted to that.

The fourth is the emotional. This is when you're attracted to someone's emotional intelligence. You're like, oh, they're very caring. They're compassionate. They're supportive. They have these good traits. And the fifth and final one is spiritual. You're like, you're connected to that person's values on a very deep level.

Like what they really live by. Now notice the first three, I equate them to chemistry. And the last two I equate to compatibility. So the first three are chemistry. And most of us get involved in a relationship based on the first three. But here's the issue. You can feel chemistry multiple times per day. You can feel it with the receptionist. You can feel it with your personal trainer. You can feel it with the receptionist. You can feel it with your personal trainer. You can feel it with the barista at the coffee shop. You can feel it with the waiter or the waitress. The spark. You can feel that anywhere. You can find someone attracted by one of those qualities every single day. And the challenge is we get into a relationship

based on simply one of the first three. And there's nothing wrong with that as a starting point. It just can't be the end point. And so what we do is we keep convincing ourselves that the first three of chemistry is more powerful than the last two of compatibility. And we're letting chemistry do the heavy lifting. We can't. And it can't. We're making chemistry do the heavy lifting, the heavy work, the pull, pull and push and like, okay, like, you just take care of this.

That's why so many people rely on good sex to save a relationship. They always be in conflict. Totally. If the values and the compatibility are not there and you're relying on chemistry, there'll always be some conflict. Always. Yeah. And chemistry really easily is those top three, and which is good to have. So you should, point is you need to have both you need to have both but you can't just say because i'm mentally attracted to how that person thinks that's good marriage material that's not good enough you can't say because that because some we make broad generalizations we say things like oh because he or she has a top degree from a top college or a business school and they're at a top company, they must be really kind, loving, and organized. It's like, what? Like, how did you just...

Be a good parent, yeah. Yeah, must have been a good parent. How did you just draw that parallel? And so that's the way I would talk about entering a relationship is it can start with the first three, but don't let it end without the last two. Yeah, have the emotional and the spiritual the values correct that has to align for a real long-lasting relationship i feel like i could do this for another three hours this is amazing i want to finish with one uh one thought about

service because you live a life of service i feel like my mission is to be of service to you you are in my business and my relationships with my friendships it's all about service for me as well and this is a i think it's a quote from the bhagavad-gita is that what it is the plant trees in my business, in my relationships, with my friendships. It's all about service for me as well. And this is a, I think it's a quote from the Bhagavad Gita. Is that what it is? The plant trees? No, so this one is like a famous statement that we share. It's a statement, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, you say plant trees under whose shade you do not plan to sit. I remember you told me that. This one's from the Bhagavad Gita, yeah. You told me that a couple of years ago. And I remember that really blew my mind because in business, when I started out, I think it was a lot of like, okay, let me do this for you and you do this for me. Let's do

reciprocal type of stuff. I was in the online marketing world where it was about joint ventureships. It was about affiliate marketing and I'll do this and then you promote me, right? And then I started to shift it. When I got into the podcast seven years ago, I said, I'm just going to bring on people I like, and I'm just gonna serve. If it comes around, cool, if not, cool. And it's hard, I think, to switch that mentality, but it's so rewarding to come from a place of giving and service to literally wanting

to see other people succeed, whether they help you or not in return. How do we get to that place of that mindset when we're like, but I really need some help right now. And I really want someone to support me in return. And I don't want to give all my energy to someone if they're never going to give me anything in return. How do we balance that? Yeah, that's such a smart question, because I think the challenge is that we become overly compassionate often to people in a certain way. So what I mean by that is being compassionate and being giving

isn't about spending your whole day with one person who needs your attention and affection if your purpose is to do something different. So for example, you're putting out this podcast. You put out video content. You write books. This is serving lots of different people in lots of ways. And you're not expecting, apart from the person buying the book and getting the value from it, you're not really expecting

them to do anything for you, right? You're not asking them to come and champion for you if they don't want to. So you're already planting those seeds. You're already sharing in that way. And I think the mistake we make is when we are overly compassionate to one person and we're doing it expecting that they're going to do something back. Right? So the only way to... Don't be overly compassionate expecting something in return. Yeah, don't. Just if you see yourself...

Just don't do that if you're going to... Just don't do that if you're going to feel that. And that's okay. Like, that doesn't make you less compassionate. It doesn't make you a bad person. Like, if I don't want to, and I have rules about there are certain people in my life that I don't ask for favors. Because I don't ever want to be in a position where I'm having to ask them. Because not that they wouldn't do it or whatever.

I just don't want to do that. It's just not who I am. And it's like, but that's fine. And there are certain people in my life that I won't give to because I know they're going to keep asking for stuff. And so you have to protect yourself. And I think self-protection and being honest with yourself is the best way. So my favorite analogy in this is, if someone's drowning in the ocean, if you're fit and healthy and you're a lifeguard, great, you can go and save them. But if you're not, you might need to call the real lifeguard to come and

help them out. And that's what real compassion is. Real compassion, if you can't help someone, if you're feeling toxic one day, you're feeling negative one day, you're feeling you're not really giving from your heart, it's better to introduce them to someone or find someone else who can help them than to go in there with all these toxic emotions and now you're expecting them to live up.

Return the favor. Return the favor. It's better to not do it. If you're going to do something and in your heart of hearts, you're actually feeling bitter and regretting it, it's better not to do it because guess what? You weren't compassionate when you did it with that intention.

Compassion's about intention. It's not about the result. Like two people could give the same amount to charity. One person gives it for PR. One person gives it because they care about the kids. Who's happy? The person who gave it for the kids. Both people's money had the same impact.

But the intention is what defined what happened. So if you're begrudgingly going out there and helping someone, and in your heart of hearts, you're like, oh, I can't believe they asked me. Who are they? Like, I don't even like them. Like, they never helped me.

And then you help them. Guess what? That's not compassion. Protect yourself. Deal with it. Deal with that toxic emotion. So I don't help people when I feel like that. And I give myself that space. You just say no or I'm not busy or whatever. Yeah, I can't. Well, I'll be honest with them. I'll say, honest in the best way that you can. I don't think I can support you on this because I don't feel right about it or it doesn't make

sense to me or whatever it is. It's not the right fit. It's not the right fit. And I think that's actually stopping yourself from being a people pleaser. Because we actually are not compassionate. We're just people pleasers. We actually just want people to think we're like magnanimous and amazing. So we'll go and go to everything to support everyone. But it's like- We're resentful people pleasers. Exactly. We please and then we're resentful that we didn't get what we wanted. And then now we want to make them feel guilty for not doing it back.

So I make a conscious effort to support the people I love, to make an effort with the people I love and do more there. And that's fine. Your compassion doesn't, you don't have to be this overarching person who's like doing it for everyone. That's part of the journey. It's going to take time to get there. Of course.

I appreciate you, man. I love our hangs. I love our time together. I love this. This is going to blow people away. This is going to inspire and impact a lot of people. I got one final question for you, but make sure you guys get this book. I'm telling you, this will be the book of the year. Go get it. Get a few copies for your friends. Think like a monk. Train your mind for peace and purpose every day. I rarely read books, but this is one I'm almost finished. And just going through the rest of this while I'm here, I'm like, this is unbelievable. Everything. He's talking about the monk method, everything else. You want to get it. There's going to be one tool in here that's going to change your life or support

you. Go get this book. I highly recommend it. You can get it on Amazon. You can get it in stores. You can find it on your website, on your Instagram, on social media. Jay Shetty everywhere. Go follow him. What are you on Instagram? Jay Shetty. There used to be something else on Facebook. It used to be Jay Shetty IW.

On Facebook, is it still there? On Twitter, I think it's still there. Just search Jay Shetty, you'll find him. And what else? How come else can we support you with this book right now? Is there something special if they get the book? Yeah, so right now, for anyone who pre-orders,

everyone's getting access to an exclusive workshop that I made, which are four steps to train your mind for peace and purpose every day. It's a video that we made just around the book, and you get these four incredible steps that you can practice. Really simple and some reflection exercises as well. a video that we made just around the book, and you get these four incredible steps that you can practice, really simple, and some reflection exercises as well. And you know, my real, and then I mean- Will they get the book, and how do they get that?

So if you pre-order the book from thinklikeamonkbook.com, you get access to the workshop, it will be sent to you. And if you pre-order the book from anywhere else, you can go to thinklikeamonkbook.com, submit your order confirmation or number, and you'll still get it. So thinklikeamonkbook.com to get the bonuses, and or number, and you'll still get it. So think like a monk. Book.com.

Yeah. To get the bonuses. Exactly. And anything else of where you're touring and what's happening in the future will be on there. Absolutely. Yeah, everything's going to be on that website. Cool. And I think the big thing for me, Lewis, honestly, and I know you can relate to this, and I mean this from the bottom of my heart.

It's like if my videos have impacted anyone in any way, like if they've had even the tiniest impact on your family member or loved one, if my podcasts have like been useful to you, you know, it's like, I really encourage you to go and support me on this book. Like I really appreciate the help because it's like, we've just been putting out so much content. Free.

Free, like three videos a week, two podcasts a week. Like we're creating all of this to serve and serve and serve. And this is one thing that I want you to have in your home. And I believe that it's my best work. It's unbelievable, man.

So I really, yeah, I really appreciate it. Einstein, you quoted Einstein in here at some point where it's like something like, you don't master something until you learn to share it simply or something like that. If you can't explain something simply, you don't understand it well enough. Exactly. And it's hard to train your mind for peace and purpose every day in a complex, chaotic, scarcity-minded world or environment at times. It's really hard to think, how do I find peace? How do I find happiness? How

do I have a conversation with my mind? How do I not let my mind trick me? How do I stay in a neutral environment and reaction when I want to react to everything? It's really complicated to do these things, but you break it down in such a simple, beautiful, easy way

where it doesn't overcomplicate. It simplifies. And I think that's why this is a, you're doing a disservice to yourself and the people that you love if you don't buy this and get this for your friends and family, I'm going to get a bunch of copies and give them away.

I'm going to have them here in the studio for people and hand them to people that come in. This is the book of the year. Make sure you guys go get Think Like a Monk. It's going to really transform everything in your life and help you. Give it to a friend who might be struggling or just wants more peace. It doesn't matter. You don't have to be in so much pain,

but if you just want more to life, get this as well. Thanks, man. Highly recommend it. ThinkLikeAMonkBook.com. This is, I asked you the three truths question the last time, but I don't know if it's different or not now. And I'm gonna go- I don't even remember what I said last time.

I don't either, I'm gonna go look back at it and see what it was and compare the two. So, you've learned a lot in the last two years. So would this be different? We'll see. But if this was your last day and you had to take all of your work with you, all this book, it had to go with you into the next world you're going to, wherever that is. And there's no more videos of Jay Shetty, no more content, no more Instagram, no more social media. And it all had to go away with you to the next place. What would be three lessons you would leave behind for us to live by?

Oh, that's such a good question, man. It's like, that's like, oh, what would I say? Three lessons for us to live by. This is all you could share with the world. The first one I'd say is you can't be anything you want, but you can be everything you are. That's great. The first day I shared that publicly was at the Summit of Greatness. That's right. I remember that. So when I gave the keynote at the Summit of Greatness, I shared it that day because it was a reflection I'd had for a long time. But

I think I'd have to say that because I think we get so lost trying to be everyone that we don't become anyone. And then we don't find the one that we're meant to be. And so I'd say that's the first one. There's the second one that I'd say is, and this is, we know this through studies and science and everything. It's like, just don't miss an opportunity to tell someone how much they mean to you. Like just don't, and I said it better than that somewhere.

I can't find it right now. But I mean that, like, just don't miss an opportunity. Like I was saying that with my mentor, I always told him I loved him, always. And now that I can't tell him anymore, I'm just glad I did tell him. You're not regretting it. Yeah, totally.

So like don't ever leave someone without, don't ever leave someone without telling them how much they mean to you because you don't know when they'll leave. Oh. And so like that is just like, never let your last interaction with someone, you know. Be a bad one or be a missed opportunity to express love or just generosity or kindness.

Especially the people you love, right? Like you may have bad interactions with people once or twice or a business. But the people that are close to you and you love, the people you'll regret it with, just don't. It's just not worth living with. The only thing you'll be able to share left yeah to the world what is the final truth don't settle like just don't settle you don't you don't just don't don't think that you're at the peak of what you were meant to do because you probably

don't know unless you try and so for most people i feel like just don't settle because i think we just give in too early and don't settle for service. Right. It's like, that's the reason, that's the intention. It's like service is the one that's pulling you along. And so don't settle for service. The world needs service. The world needs your service. The world needs your genius. The world needs your passion. And you just don't know it yet. And, and the day you realize it, you'll be grateful that you went the whole way. As I know, I feel, I look back and I'm just like, God, I would have just been sitting there working in

a corporate job and not known all the people I know now and connected with this amazing community and met you. I just wouldn't have had it. If I didn't go for it, if I just settled that my service was this. So don't settle for service. Service deserves the best of you. Yeah, man. Dude, I really appreciate you. I appreciate you. I love you. I love our friendship. I'm really grateful for the amount of attention to service you have in the world because your commitment to making content go viral, making the information that we all need go viral is so profound and powerful. And you've been through so much in the last few years. Good challenges, opportunities, growth, different things. And I really admire how you continue to show up, how you continue to lean

into the practice every morning of meditating, of doing your best. And you're not perfect, but you constantly show up with your best. And I acknowledge you for that, man. I'm grateful for you and our friendship. Thank you, man. Me too, man. I'm grateful for you and our friendship. Thank you, man. Me too, man. I want to say, too, everyone who's listening to Lewis, and I know you've all loved him for many years, but it's just like, you've just, you've been the same since we became friends.

And I, my rule for friendship is I trust consistency. So I don't like people who change with the times. Or I don't vibe, those people don't survive around me for long amounts of time. Hopefully I grow and get better. No, you grow and get better. I mean, like, the relationship and the connection, the friendship, the kindness has stayed the same. Of course.

It's never dwindled in tough times for me. It's never become more in successful times for me. You've always been the same in that way. And those, I think, are positive, powerful friendship traits when someone is continuing to love, continuing to show up, continuing to be kind to you, no matter what you're going through, you know? And I think that you really, yeah.

You learn a lot about someone on how they don't show up for you when you're going through challenging times. That's why challenges are the best. And you learn a lot about someone when they only reach out to you when they see you succeed. Yeah. And so make sure you're always showing up for people consistently either way, good or bad, high or low, whatever it may be.

Be consistent like that quarterback in the game. Just be consistent. And if you're going for a tough time, the best lesson you learn from a tough time is who really cares. That's it, man. And so it just lets you drop. Like everything drops and you just know. You purge friendships. It's the best.

It's the worst and the best. You got to find the meaning in the challenges. Correct. And that's where you find the meaning. Jay Shetty, man, go get the book. Thank you, man. Thanks so much. Appreciate it.

I am so happy that Jay came on today to share his wisdom, to break down, to open up, to get real, and reveal as much possible to give you as much inspiration and actionable steps to help you improve your life and take things to the next level. If you found this helpful in any way, make sure to share this with one friend today. You have the power to change someone's life, truly transform people's lives just by sending them a text message with the link lewishouse.com slash 953. Or you can just copy and paste the link on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and just text a friend right now. Someone that you want to see succeed in your life. Someone that you want to see grow even more, shoot them a text and say, hey, check out this episode. Let me know the biggest takeaway for you and let's talk about it.

The best way to impact someone's life is to spread goodness and greatness into their life. And if this is your first time here or a friend sent you, make sure to send them a text back thanking them for sending you along this episode. Please subscribe to us over on Apple Podcasts. And Spotify. And anywhere that you listen to podcasts. And leave us a review. We'd love to hear from you on how this impacted your day. And this moment of your life. And make sure to follow me at Lewis Howes.

And Jay Shetty over on Instagram. Take a screenshot of this. Post it on your Instagram story. I try to respond to as many people as possible over there. And I'm sure Jay would love to see your thoughts about this episode over on his Instagram story as well. And here at the School of Greatness podcast, we're giving you the tools to help you train your mind for peace and purpose every day, like Jay shared with us today, but also how to achieve greatness on all areas of your life,

on your business, your career, your finances, your health, your relationships, your past, your business, your career, your finances, your health, your relationships, your past, your future, your identity, everything you can think of, we've got it here on the School of Greatness podcast. And I acknowledge you for showing up today, for taking care of your own internal health, for taking care of your mindset and continuing to grow your life. Again, the quote at the beginning, the anonymous quote was, the goal of meditation isn't to control your thoughts, it's to stop letting them control you. There are certain ideas in the world that might be controlling your thoughts right now, that might be influencing your thoughts to do something negative, to think in a poor way, to think in a scarce way, a competitive way.

As opposed to an abundance way, a loving way, a collaboration way, a growth way. And for you showing up here, for you taking control of your life, for taking the time to learn something new, to apply this to your life, is what's gonna make all the difference for you moving forward. And I'm so grateful that you're here.

And if someone hasn't told you lately, you matter, I love you, I'm so grateful for you. And you know what time it is. It's time to go out there and do something great.