The School of Greatness - 983 Overcoming Negative Self-Talk & Building Success Habits w/Olympic Gold Medalist Kerri Walsh Jennings

Episode Date: July 22, 2020

"The process is a beautiful thing, and I love it. I’ve just forgotten that I love it."Lewis is joined by three-time Olympic gold medalist Kerri Walsh Jennings for a wide-ranging conversation on the thin line between failure and success, and the ongoing quest for greatness. They discuss how Kerri overcomes her fears, how meditation is an essential tool for the highest achievers, and how Kerri's relationship has bolstered her volleyball game."Kobe Bryant on Mamba Mentality, NBA Titles, and Oscars: https://link.chtbl.com/691-podKevin Hart Breaks Down His Secrets to Success: https://link.chtbl.com/956-podKatherine Schwarzenegger Pratt on the Power of Forgiveness: https://link.chtbl.com/925-pod

This is episode number 983 with Olympic gold medalist Kerry Walsh Jennings. Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, a former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin. Winston Churchill once said, Success is not final.

Failure is not fatal. It is the courage to continue that counts. And Venus Williams said, Just believe in yourself. Even if you don't, pretend that you do, and some point you will. My guest today is one of the most decorated American athletes of all time. Kerry Walsh Jennings has won three Olympic gold medals and one bronze in beach volleyball, as well as three world championship titles.

She's a machine. She's also notched more career victories and earned more total money than any woman in history. And the Tokyo Olympics were actually supposed to start this week. Crazy. I know. I was supposed to be there. And this is my favorite time every four years. And Carrie was aiming for redemption after finishing third in Rio in 2016.

And I was there to watch that performance. So it seemed like a perfect time to bring you this interview. We sat down for a wide range of conversation back in early spring before we knew the full scope of the coronavirus pandemic. But Carrie's wisdom is incredibly relevant in this moment. And in this episode, we discuss how to perform at your best in the most challenging moments, why Carrie still suffers negative self-talk and what she does to overcome it. This blew my mind when she shared this. Why the process is as important as the results, super hard for a lot of us to deal with, how meditation is essential tool for the highest achievers and so much more.

If you find this inspiring, if you want to make an impact in the world, then make sure to share this with someone who you think could be inspired by this as well. Just send them the link lewishouse.com slash 983 or copy and paste the link on Apple Podcast or Spotify or wherever you're listening to this right now. And a quick reminder, if you haven't yet subscribed, go to Apple Podcasts and click the subscribe button on the School of Greatness, as well as giving us a five-star rating and review

to help us spread the message of greatness to more people. Stay tuned for Olympic legend Kerry Walsh Jennings. All right, welcome back to one of the School of Greatness podcasts. We've got Kerry Walsh Jennings in the house. Super excited. Oh, me too. The icon. I've seen you play a number of times. I saw you in London. It was my first Olympics that I went to. And I told myself, and you were one of the only few sports that I actually watched. I remember watching from the top in London.

It was like a nice little venue. Amazing venue. It was cool, yeah. And somehow, I think I connected with someone from Gatorade who had extra tickets and I was in there and I was watching you guys. It was amazing. I watched you in Rio as well.

You did? I was there in Rio. Oh, a good game or a tough game? Did we win or lose? I was just looking at my phone before you got here because I thought I had videos of it, but I couldn't find it. So I have to go back. Let's just say we won. You won that game for sure. And that was amazing. And I remember going to London as my first Olympics to attend. And I was like, I can never miss an Olympics again. Oh, really? It was amazing just to experience it. I cannot wait to experience it as a spectator, 100%. Right?

Yes, I want more as a competitor. I want one more. But my goodness, they do such a great job. It's unreal. It's unreal. And then you just feel like you're floating everywhere because the energy is so electric. So cool. But you don't get the experience out of all of you. No. You're just focused. I mean, you then you just feel like you're floating everywhere because the energy is like so electric. It's so cool.

But you don't get the experience out of it all, do you? No. You're just focused. I mean, you know how it is when you're competing. You're just like, I'm here to do one thing. And sightseeing and all that stuff is for later. But no, we're on a mission. Usually for volleyball, we go almost the whole two weeks of the Olympics.

And we play every other night until the playoff rounds. So you're just like, the hardest thing in the world is to wait for your next match. You know, you have like 24 hours plus. You're like, oh my gosh. When usually we play two or three matches a day, we're like rolling. You do one match and then you wait two days. Yes, exactly. So it's a mental man. Well, I have my children and my husband, so that's wonderful. But I find myself, it's really hard. Like I have not mastered that. And I don't know if I can, you know, cause I want to be with, like my kids didn't go to rio kazika we were worried but my husband went but when i would be with him i was so anxious and tense and it was just it wasn't fair to him you know and i it's like really hard to express like i love you so much and i want to be with you but i

can't you know he's like well you have two days i'm like i can't this is the two most important weeks of the the four years for you. I mean, I guess so. Ultimately. Yeah. In those two weeks, you should be so dialed in and focused.

You need to be selfish. Yeah. Well, yeah. And, but I'm of the mindset, um, where I just want to have so much fun and like,

like I want to win with my people, like living life, you know, I'm obsessed and I'm like intense and all these things, but I also want to have a flip side of that because that's just, I think that's possible. And I have not done that yet. And so you mean like having fun being with your friends and family and your team and winning every game and just like not all this pressure and stress. Yeah. Well, and I don't even

see it as pressure and stress. Like when you're, I'm in like a little vacuum when I go to the Olympics, you know, it's like, like, we don't stay in the village because that energy is intense. We stay there for like two nights before opening ceremonies and then we're like, peace out. Because some people are done

the first day and they're just raging and hanging. Just like drinking and having sex with everyone in the village. Just apparently. I don't know.

Going crazy. All those stories. I mean, can you imagine four years of just waiting? But yeah, so we kind of disassociate from that.

But like to me, it's just another tournament. Like I kind of have the Hoosiers mindset where, you know, it's like the same court. All the measurements are the same. So it is so true. And then we don't watch TV. Usually we're in a foreign country, you know, and I don't really watch TV anyway. And so we just kind of go in your little cocoon, know what you want to do. But I just want to do it with a little bit more lightheartedness. Um,

not hang out with my family all day long before a night, you know, a match or whatever, but just, just more balance. Now I remember watching some interviews of you talk after you won the bronze. Yeah. Depends on the day you hit me. I'm like, what? What do you got? And I remember you talking about, maybe it was in Tom Bilyeu's interview or somewhere else,

or maybe it was briefly after the Olympics were done, where you said it was like one of the greatest lessons for you. It was like your most happy medal. It was not happy, but it was like you learned the most from it. You were like, I'm grateful we got this bronze, something like that. Well, we won the bronze, right? Like we won like to go from like utter devastation, like literally not getting into the goal.

Yeah. Not even just that. Cause I've lost so many times in my career, but it's like losing a certain way, you know, like not playing great. And it's, it was my fault. Like that's how I framed that entire match. And so to miss out on this opportunity, not only my dream, but my partner's dream and our family and our team, like that's how I framed everything. So the 24 hours, the less than 24 hours between the semifinal match loss and the time we played, I was a wreck, like such a zombie,

just like literally walking in circles. Do you ever walk in your head like, what am I doing? Because you've never been in that position before. Never. You always made the gold medal match. But more, there was so much shame and so much embarrassment and like, oh my God, this is crazy. But to get the opportunity to go and live another day,

to fight another day, my husband at one point, he's like, you gotta stop feeling sorry for yourself. You have another chance. Like, this is so rad. Like, go and be an American and show that spirit. That's what America's made of. And I was like, dude, it's so right. Right. Like I try to live with the Christmas spirit in me every day and the Olympic spirit in me every day. And losing the semifinal match was such a great opportunity for me, um, to just like, I guess, look in the mirror and be like, are you going to practice what you preach right now?

Suck it up, be a woman, pull your boots up and go get them, you know? Or are you gonna feel sorry for yourself? And lose the bronze. Right, and lose the bronze. And go out in fourth place. Dude, the worst. My first Olympics we got fourth.

It's so hard. When was that? In indoor in Sydney 2000. Sydney 2000, oh indoor. Indoor. You did indoor Olympics. Yes. So I was finishing at Stanford and then, yeah, it took like a year off to, indoor. You did indoor Olympics. I didn't know you were in the Olympics. So I was finishing at Stanford,

and then, yeah, I took like a year off to do that. But we got fourth, and we kind of overachieved, so it wasn't like, it wasn't that much of a heartbreak. You know? We got as far as we could go. Yeah, and we coulda, shoulda, but we didn't, and it was okay. You know, I don't know, it was more okay.

I hate losing. When was it, what year was that? It's 2000. Yeah, so I was 22, coming out of Stanford. You've been in the Olympics for 20 years. I know,. When was that? What year was that? It's like 2000. Yeah. So I was 22. You've been in the Olympics for 20 years. I know. I'm an old baby. You're a machine. Yes. I'm going to take that. Wow. 20 years in the Olympics. Yeah. So that's

five Olympics going for six. And I want six. So I wear a four. My husband, oh my gosh, my husband was like, I'm like, babe, do you like my new necklace? So I wear this gold four. And he's like, yeah, what does it mean? I'm like, babe, do you like my new necklace? So I wear this gold four. And he's like, yeah, what does it mean? I'm like, what? Can you take one moment and think about it?

A gold four, yeah. Yeah, and he literally, exactly. This is what I want. And I like to rep myself on what I want. And this is, I just got this this weekend. It's a black figa, which is very popular in Brazil, but it's like empowerment, and it's just like a sign of strength.

And I was like, that's a sign, I'm gonna gonna wear it and it's kind of black mamba ish but anyhow it was an opportunity to like live by my values you know which is never quit never say die you know step up to the challenge and just give it my all you know and winning the bronze was the hardest thing ever, mentally and emotionally. Volleyball is volleyball. But my God. You were like crying, you were like excited, crying. You were, I'm doing your post interviews.

It was just like, you're so happy. I remember being so happy. What a relief. I remember seeing you high five everyone around the arena. Well, that's what I do. I can't help it. But you were so excited, like, we won the bronze. I was so fun.

You know, and something that I really, really wanna do on the way to qualifying for Tokyo and then in Tokyo, like I don't want to feel relief after a win. I want to really feel like, exactly. Excited. Exactly. Satisfaction. We did it. We knew we can do it. And we're living in our greatness.

Wow. You know, because after winning that bronze was total relief. Because one of you had gotten fourth. Yeah. And it was just, yeah. And it was ugly. Like, we won ugly. We did not play great volleyball, but we won.

And I think it was, like, the perseverance and literally the American spirit, I believe, that fueled us to win because that's something special, you know? It is very special. What do you think would have happened if you got fourth in the last Olympics? Would you still be competing or would you be? I have no doubt. You know, I think part of the reason like i'm so

confused why we got third like i'm so confused about that whole semi-final match not that i always play perfectly or we always won but like we were the best team in the world like we were playing amazing that tournament and there was everything felt great and it was just a night excuse my language okay beep that one it's okay. But I really think I would have retired, and I would have retired prematurely. If you wanted gold? If we wanted gold. Wow. And if we wanted fourth, I would have, it might have taken me longer, perhaps, to say I'm coming back.

But no way. I just wasn't done. On the way back from Brazil, I think we left the next day, flying back. And literally in the back of my book, or the seat back, you know, pocket, they always clean it out, the flight before, right? In the back of the pocket, there was a book, you either win or you lose, but the losers cross out and I said, learn. That's the book there that someone left.

And I'm like, okay, God. Wow. Okay. I'll do it, you know? So I'm just, I'm still learning. And this quadrennial, I kind of live my life in four years, right? Which you can understand. Of course.

But it's been really challenging. Like, really challenging. Because it's like, instead of being here, the alpha, like, on top, winning consistently, like, Brooke and my partner, Brooke Sweat, who's incredible, we literally started at the bottom. And we're making our way up. How do. So I had after, after Rio, I had a couple of surgeries. You lose points. I had terrible finishes with my, with my, another partner. So you lose points, right? And then Brooke had surgeries, didn't have a great year. So we had no points and you need entry points to get in tournaments. So we had to- Even if you've won gold medals in the past, it doesn't matter? Yeah, someone's like, let's just grandfather you. And I'm like, you're crazy. I would be

so insecure once I got there. You need to be sharp and you need to be sharpened by the world competition. So anyhow, it's been a crazy three years so far with Brooke and I, and I'm just ready for smooth sailing. And for us just to take up our space. Like, we're both so hard on ourselves. We just had a tough practice this morning, and I'm like, why are we so mean to ourselves? Like, we know how to play volleyball. We are both excellent. We are so good, and yet we make one mistake,

and it, like, affects everything. We get quiet. We, like... Why do you think you beat yourself up? Man, just a bad habit. I don't know. I feel like my framework for so long in my life was like, just do it right and don't F up, you know?

And what if you mess up? Then you fail, you know? And my life, I was so, so supported, but there's a lot of excellence in my life and a lot of very high expectations and things that I'm so grateful for. But the flip side of that could be that you identify yourself with your victories, with your successes, you know, with your performance. And I certainly do that.

I still do that. Really? And Rio helped me break through that a little bit. Becoming a mommy, leaving the sport for a couple years, getting pregnant, having babies made me show that I'm very irrelevant. You know, like the world moves on so fast. If you're having babies, made me show that I'm very irrelevant. The world moves on so fast. Or just, yeah, exactly. And so that kind of made me own myself as a human. But the losing and the poorer performances,

I still have a tough time with that because I'm like, God, A, I'm better than this, and B, it's just that mental framework before is if you're not winning, you're failing, like I need to shift that. Cause it, it should have never worked. It worked for a long time. That fear of failure.

It pissed me off at motivated me, but now it makes me smaller and it doesn't serve me in a powerful way. In what ways it makes you smaller, like internally you feel smaller or you feel. I just, I, I kind of live in the, if, instead of I'm doing this, like if you get out of my way, it's like I'm just, I'm kind of on my heels more instead of like stepping up. You know, like I always want to be a hunter when I compete. And the mindset to me is everything because I work my ass off. Like I'm so strong and I'm so physical and I love training. The mental and the emotional side of it is so challenging.

The mental and the emotional side of it is so challenging. You know, as an individual human, as a woman, and then combined with my partner, who has her own amazing, you know, ecosystem of emotion and all these things. Your life partner or your… Well, both. But we're talking volleyball here. Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. But, you know, because it's like… And it's so cool in volleyball. Like, you know, I was thinking about this.

In all the world, it's such a unique sport because it's two-on-two, right? You have doubles tennis, but you are solely responsible for that return or that hit. I set my partner up. She sets me up. So there's a whole other dance element to it and connection element to it. So I'm rambling. But it's really fun. It's what I love the most about the sport is that aspect of it,

but also that I have to pull my weight. We have to lean on each other, but each be super autonomous and capable of handling our you-know-what. So it's a beautiful sport. What do you think is the biggest weakness you have mentally? My self-talk. Okay, so let me break this down. You're the best in the world.

I was. Okay, well, you're arguably the best. And it pisses me break this down. You're the best in the world. I was. Okay, well, you're arguably... And it pisses me off to say that. I should just let you roll with that. You're the best in the world. Just because you got third four years ago in a tournament doesn't mean you're not the best still. But we're talking today. Ron James loses too. I know, but it's different.

He lost a couple weeks ago. Every time I play, it's for a championship. Like, every single time. Really? Every time. I, it's for a championship. Like, every single time. Really? Every time. I mean, you have a tournament, but, like, if you lose, you're out of the tournament, so there's another champion. You know what I'm saying?

Oh, for that tournament championship. Yes. Like, it's not a season. How many championships are there in a year? I mean, there could be anywhere between 10 and 20. Okay. I mean, we've played season where there were 18, and we won all of them. All of them? All of them? I think where there were 18 and we won all of them.

All of them? All of them? I think Misty won and I won all of them. So I've tasted that. What have you been, I guess, in the last 12 months?

We won one last year. Out of how many? Oof. And we played the most of anyone in the world. Over 15. These are world championship tournaments,

but not just like U.S. World Tour events. No, World Tour. So you're playing the Olympics, basically. So you won one out of how many. World Tour events. World Tour. So you're playing the Olympics, basically. Best in the world. So you won one out of how many? We won one.

Over 15. We made maybe three finals. How many finals? But I don't care. You know? So my, yeah, this talk, this is what I did. So wait a minute. When you go into a practice, let's break it down.

When you go into a practice this morning, for example, just an everyday normal practice where you're going hard. I'm assuming you're practicing against men, right? We have two coaches. Bigger, faster, stronger type of mentality. Yeah, often. Yes. And so normal practice happens, and you don't do what you know you can do. You don't do what you're capable of.

You miss the block. Whatever. Yeah. I don't do what you know you can do. You don't do what you're capable of. You miss the block. Whatever. I don't know the terminology perfectly, but you miss the certain stuff that happens. What do you say to yourself when you do something that's not perfect? I mean, you need a couple beeps. Like, what the hell are you doing? You'll say this internally. Oh, yeah.

I'm sorry, kids. You're good. You'll say it. But, yeah, it's kind of like, but it's not deep the way I say it or mean it. But, like, death by, like, a thousand paper cuts is a real thing, you know. And I just, there's, like, fear behind that. And there's weakness behind that. And I think anything, like, everything is energy.

So if that's, like, I'm creating momentum with those thoughts and with the, you know, that internal dialogue. And I just, I need to stop it. And I need to be like, Carrie, you know, that internal dialogue. And I just, I need to stop it. And I need to be like, Carrie, you're on your way. Like this is a process. And so what I'm coming to learn, um, that I have to love the process. Like I have to make the decision and then just be done with it. You know, cause I, you don't, you only fail if you just frame it that way and I'm not going to quit. You know, that's the ultimate failure to me or having a poopy attitude and like, you know, like ending on those terms, that would be quitting. But the process is a beautiful thing and I love it.

I just have forgotten that I love it. Now, how often do you say positive things to yourself or do you only speak positively internally when you do something right? You know, I don't know how to answer that. Yeah. Do you speak, like do you sit positive self-talk internally? In my life, I do.

Like, I'm a happy girl. I'm in that practice. Look at the rainbow. Look at the butterfly. I look great. You know, I don't know. You know, my, our coaches do a good job being like, that's what good looks like. You know, that was great care.

You're doing this good. And I tend to only hear the criticisms. Right. So I don't even hear that that much. You don't even hear that. It just goes in and out. No. And then you wait until, oh, but you can improve there.

Yeah, exactly. Wow. Exactly. So you don't even say anything positive to yourself? I mean, during matches, I for sure do. But not during practice. No, but I, and I so believe in practicing like I compete. I've seen videos where you talk about that.

No, 100%. You're like just as intense in practice. Yes. Well, yes. And now it's like I'm too on this side of the spectrum, too intense, too aggro. I wonder if you, I mean, if you're this negative, I mean, to yourself, but maybe that's what's driven you to be successful. No, it's not.

I wonder what it would be like if you were positive for a week. No, I know. Exactly. You practiced it daily for a week. I love it. So I listen to Abraham Hicks every day, right? Love her, love them, a lot of attraction. So what I listen to Abraham Hicks every day right love her love them a lot of attraction so what I'm doing now I'm trying to interview her yeah she'll be

great are you why she's like impossible but I'm if you have a connection to her let me know I don't but I'll try yeah yeah oh I probably fill the whole building no doubt anyway so go you try to listen oh my god sorry I just visualized that I would like to be there. Thank you. So she tells you, if you're in a funk, she's like, A, don't talk about it, which I'm obviously talking about it. And she's like, B, just write down lists of the positive aspects. What's going good? With the funk? No, with my game. With the day.

With my relationship with my husband. With you. With my partner. Just focus on the good is the bottom line. Because again, every thought is momentum in one direction or the other. And I swear to you, I live my life that way for some reason. Not in practice, not lately. I know. And it's driving me crazy. And I'm, it's such a disservice to my team. Like I'm being a selfish athlete right now. And it's almost like, I don't know. I mean, you're a man. I don't know if you get this, but like I, you know, when women are on their periods and they're just so hormonal,

and I have these moments where I'm being an a-hole and I can't help it, I'm just going to run with it. I know I'm doing this, but it's almost like it has control over me. Really? And I think it's just, there's fear, like I want what I want so bad. There's fear of what? Of not qualifying, of not being the greatest ever, like of not achieving this dream of 4G, you know,

like, yeah. But mostly not doing it the right way. Like I can lose. I can totally lose. I just, I fear losing the wrong way. What's the wrong way?

Like, Like not trying, you mean? No, that would never, ever happen. So what's the wrong way of losing i don't know what's this fear just i guess not winning like it's just the bottom you

have a fear of losing i have a fear of losing not qualifying getting a you know silver bronze or not a medal at all what would happen if you didn't qualify or if you didn't get the gold medal all good i mean i would be so bummed. And it would fuel me in other areas. And I'd be like, yeah, it would always be something, you know, a pebble in my shoe. But I've lived my worst nightmares. Like, I've lived it. You know, I've lost on the world stage.

I've almost lost my marriage. Like, I've lived hell on earth, my personal hell on earth. You know, to other people, like, that's nothing. Which is totally valid. Your own personal experience is still traumatic and challenging in its own way totally and even if you've won three gold medals exactly call me greet i don't care but i've lived i've lived really really hard things in my life um and i've survived what's the hardest moment you've been through in my career in your life in my life oh man well losing loved ones obviously that

takes a cake we've had a lot of loss in our family um but our faith is so big and it's just that thank goodness um but almost losing my marriage like the hardest the craziest thing that i felt like i had no control over so the only only. How did you almost lose it? By losing sight of it. Like being so focused on my career, taking for granted that my husband was right there with me and not putting in the effort, you know, and realizing too late. Really? It was after you had kids? We, I was pregnant with our first and he's like.

He was saying peace out already? I'm going to hit the road. I was a week overdue and he's like, we're done. And I was like, oh. Really? That's gnarly. Yeah. And totally, like, he was going through stuff.

But we were just like this. And I didn't recognize it. You know? And I was so selfish and so driven and so focused on winning the 2008 games. I just lost sight of my people. Like, you know? And I will never do that again. You know?

And we founded a company called Platform 1440 so that we honor the minutes in the day you know they're only 1440 minutes in the day like that has become one of our greatest filters in life like we're gonna choose to do that does it service our 1440 doesn't keep us connected you know and I'm terrible at it but it's you know that awareness at least it's least yeah so when you almost lost the marriage how did you bring it back how did you make it work well I came to the realization that I had a big hand to play in it like I stopped feeling like a victim and I stopped pointing the finger you didn't say this is your fault I've

got this thing I'm doing here don't you understand me no he was right he was totally right. Yeah, so I just went to work on me. Really? Yeah. And then Casey, my husband, you know, was going through his own stuff. And my only prayer was, like, I pray for clarity for both of us because neither of us were clear. And we were so angry and so hurt and, like, acting out and lashing out that way, you know. And so I just prayed for clarity.

Thank goodness he went and did his work, you know. And we just worked our asses off and it took time. In the marriage and the relationship. Yeah. I mean, yeah, he, yeah, it was like our psychologist, who's our performance psychologist, but who helped us navigate this. Amazing. He was like, Carrie, if one of you has a tip of your baby toe in the door, there's hope. And literally that's all my husband had in there. And I was all in. He was out already. He was like, I I'm done I don't want this yeah what was hurting him the most I'm his girl you know and I just

I wasn't honoring him you know like we made a commitment to like love and cherish and support and I was so selfish and I just I have so, like I adore my husband. I, so much. And I would write him love letters. Like I felt so connected to him on the road. But he, at some point, he just lost the connection fully. And like the notes, like he would never read them. And he just felt, yeah, he was just so hurt, you know. But you were still, so you were still trying. You were sending him notes.

I was, yeah. But that's kind of half-assed. Like I could have, there's so many other things. You know, and then when I get home, I'd be tired and I wouldn't like suck it up. And, you know, because that energy exchanges everything. You know, I don't believe in faking things. But I know I can make something special even if I'm tired. Because he deserves it, you know.

Of course. So there wasn't a lot of like that for me. So you're pregnant and he's like, I'm out. Yeah. Because you're not trying. You don't care. Yeah. Well, he's like, I'm out. Yeah. Because you're not trying, you don't care. Yeah. Well, he's like, we're just two different people

living two different lives. Wow. We've changed. Like every, like so many heavy, heavy things were said where if I talk about it, I'm gonna ball. How long were you married for or together for? Well, we got, we started dating in 01. We got married in 05.

And that was 2009. Wow. Yeah, yeah but i was going to say like it's like all the major heartbreak in my life aside from losing my loved ones has led me like which is so cliche but it's led me down profound paths of self-growth and deeper intimacy with god with my husband you know with my partners and with the sport, you know, so it's, it's truly a vehicle for self growth, you know, failing and kind of living a messy life. However, I do believe that you can grow through joyful moments and I would love to do that. You don't have to be messy all the time to learn and grow. And yeah. Now, do you think you would have, I don't know how you'd have a better career, but do you think your career could have been better

single without having a marriage? No. Do you feel like the marriage held you back in any ways? No. Or do you feel like it supported you in actually achieving all your dreams? I mean, it's just at some point, so I fell in love with my husband

like my first day on the beach. Like I met him. we, it was. She was a volleyball player too. Yeah, and he's a stud, he's my favorite. God, no, no, no, no, no. You couldn't have achieved the three gold medals on your own without him? No, I mean, of course, of course,

but it's like, I'm here to live life, you know? And I want that full experience. Like after, before Beijing, I was like, I had a to live life. And I want that full experience. Before Beijing, I had a miscarriage. So we got married in 2005. I had a miscarriage. They're supposed to be twins. Didn't split and went to heaven.

And so the timing of it was we have to make a decision. Either don't play the next Olympics or wait and have babies after. And we're like, okay, we'll wait. We're young. We got it. But my job started to feel very trivial and very shallow. Your job being? My job being professional beach volleyball player. Why was it trivial?

Just because I was ready for more. I was ready for family. And so just my husband brought a new layer of myself and my life and my world, and then children obviously enhanced that by a billion. And so I'm here to love life and just to do it with my, my guy, you know? And so no, he's no, no. What's the greatest lesson that marriage has taught you about sports? Oh, I mean, they're so similar. Marriage is a sport, isn't it? It's, I mean, it's like a full contact sport, man. It's, it's, it's like what you do on the daily,

like your habits, basically you are your habits, right? So if you're performing great on the court, your habits are probably pretty solid. You're in recovery, you're eating, you're working your ass off, all these things. Mindset, everything. Yep, you're connected with your partner. Communications, great, yeah.

Same thing with your marriage. Like it's those little things and those habits, you know, and it's just, it's so worth the time to water that side of life. And it's so important. And I've said this before, but I literally, I've never won a volleyball match when my husband and I are fighting. Never. Really?

Ever. I can't do it. Not even like an early round match? No, no. Like for some reason we get like in fights in the later rounds. I'm like, this should be illegal later rounds like this but we're not talking for two weeks yeah no like you know life is just crazy yeah but like if my if my life is you have to clear you have to clear the fight first before you go into the match because my

soul is just hurt like he's part of my spirit you know and so if i'm feeling disconnected from from casey then i'm just in trouble you know so that's how much my family and my people mean to me and affect me. And I love them so much. Like my goal in life is to be autonomous because that's like the ultimate freedom. You know, I can be in command of myself. I can be in command of my tools in life, on the court, off the court. But my, and I don't want to lean on anybody, but my people may take me to the next level and their love and their support, my love for them make me so brave.

You know, and capable of enduring anything. And so it's just that part of the equation is important to me. What's the greatest skill you think you have that makes you different than every other volleyball player? Oh, like a technique? It could be any skill. It could be a mental skill. It could be a habit skill. It could be a technique.

It could be a power, aggressiveness. It could be a mental skill. It could be a habit skill. It could be a technique. It could be a power aggressiveness. It could be jumping. I mean, what's the thing that you have that no one else has? I just have to say it's the full package. You know, I'm six, two and a bit. I'm really physical. I'm really effing hungry for the win. I got called last year next level intense, or last year I got called next level intense by my partner, my coach. And I was i am like i didn't even i never think of myself that way just the way i'm wired you know but i think that like desire to win that competitive nature um that intensity you don't see it a lot like you don't see it a lot even i mean i get i was gonna say with your height and with everything like the whole package well i going to say in men's sport too, but you see it, obviously. But yeah, women, it's just, it's a different vibe out there.

It doesn't mean they're less competitive, but the expression of it is different. Yeah. You know, and so- You're like a tiger out there. You're like a lion. Ah! Lion, yes. You're going to eat someone's throat.

Exactly. Happily. Yeah. Are there any young women who are like in their mid-20s, late-20s, who have that same type of, like, competitive drive? Oh, for sure. I mean, yeah. Up and coming.

It's like everyone's, like, game face is different. You know, the way they express their competitiveness is so different. But, yeah, there's a handful of girls where they bring an edge. Yeah, I know. Yeah. Some of them, like, piss me off. I'm like, what? But I respect them all and I

appreciate it you know like there's one girl she actually won the golden Rio Laura Ludwig she's my favorite player like she's German German yeah and she's my favorite and she has such a rad edge and such a big sweetheart but she's just she's so German she's so German. She's so like aye-aye and on point and determined. And I love her edge, you know. But outside of maybe two or three others, like there's really not a lot of like intense people going on. Yeah. Not that they're mellow, but you know, next level. They're kind of intense.

What would you say is your greatest weakness then? Is it your self-talk? so i would i would want to say my inconsistency which is not physical lacking so i guess it would be inconsistency and what like like i'd make mistakes you know like really aggressive mistakes or i'm going for things and i i want to be more precise and i want them to earn the points that are'm giving people points. And I was going to say that perhaps my mental agility, like when I get stressed, I go higher and higher and higher instead of taking a breath and chilling.

I'm working on that and I've gotten so much better, but I know that about myself. And then when you're kind of breathing faster and higher, your vision goes from here to here. And so I'm very aware of it. And that happens during matches? Yeah. Because it's such a sensory experience.

I rely on a lot of vision, a lot of touch, and I try to listen to my partner, and then I sense the other team. So if I'm in this vibe where I'm just overexcited or nervous or fearful or just over amped, like my senses turn off and I almost hear white noise, you know, and then I almost. In the middle of the match. Yeah. You know, and then you're like, like I'll go up to go hit the ball. My partner's saying line, line, line, line. And I don't hear it till after I land. I was like, oh, that would have been nice to hear.

Wow. Just stuff like that. And that's because you're breathing too fast. Just going too fast. You're too anxious in the mind. I think so. nice to hear. Wow. Just stuff like that. And that's because you're breathing too fast. You're too anxious in the mind. I think so. Really? Yeah. Because if I can take a slow, deep breath through my nose, my whole system is going to know I'm okay.

But I'm one of those people who, like, look how fast I talk. I'm just a fast talker. I'm a fast liver, and I live up here in myself. So when I get going. I know you're practicing this. You're practicing breathing. You're practicing meditation. I'm assuming you've got the best coaches who are like, you're doing Wim I know you're practicing this you're practicing breathing you're practicing I am I'm assuming you've got

the best coaches who are like you're doing Wim Hof or you're doing Laird stuff I have so many questions about your last experience how fun it was unreal

yeah do you do any of the stuff with Gabby and Wim totally I mean I've been trained by Gabby and Laird who I adore and love

I want to be like them they're great Wim I brought his I bought his 10-week course. I didn't finish it, but I will. I believe in all of it. That's really good. But it's such... It's hard to slow it down, though.

Yeah, man. It's just... It's hard to sit there and just breathe deep for 15 minutes. It's so hard. It's the hardest thing for me. Like, meditation to me is the one thing in the world I wish everyone did.

And it's the one thing... But you never do it. No, I do. I do it. I do do it's but it's really hard for me it's like pulling teeth even though i believe in it with all my heart i believe it's more important than going and busting my ass in the gym i believe it's that important and yet it's still hard so that's where my work lies like the stillness work um but i know these things so now

i just gotta create habit and routine and just I just got to chill the F out. If you could add two habits to your daily routine or to your training routine that you know would make you even more elite and win more, what would those two habits be that you're not currently doing? I'm doing everything I believe I should be doing. It's the way I'm doing it. What's the way? Well, it's creating a new habit by the way of doing it. Totally.

So what's the way of being? The way I'm trying too hard, I believe. You're trying too hard. I'm trying too hard. As opposed to allowing it to flow. I'm like, hey, God, what do you got for me? Right. what do you got for me you know like and when i'm going through these like these progressions and practice like i'm just like i'm so eager to be so great i'm just you know i'm effing it up

like be quick but don't hurry what is that quote like john wooden he's so rad like i'm being too quick well the result now like yeah and that the life doesn't work that way. You know, with all of myself, I know, like, my life always works out. Like, all is always well. I believe that with all my heart. And whatever happens is going to be amazing. And I'm in this because I cannot wait to become the woman I need to be to walk this life and the greatness of this life. And yet I want to rush it. Like part of me wants to rush it.

Like it's such a disconnect. And I think it's just fear behind it. So whatever that fear is, I need to name and look at, and like give it a hug and be like, we're buddies. Like it's okay. You know? So imagine. Is this all gibberish?

I love it. Oh my God. I love talking to athletes. Cause for me, this is my, everything I try to translate from my sports experience into business and life and relationships. So for me this is awesome. Imagine you're on a beach by yourself and you're walking up to the net. There's a volleyball court and it's just you, your Manhattan beach, your favorite beach,

but no one's around and you're standing looking at the net. And then all of a sudden from the distance there, there's a figure that's coming and walking towards you and steps on the court over the line and walks up to the net. And this person is the greatest version of yourself. It's a reflection of you, but the ideal image of what you want to become yeah and you get to see yourself across the net but this person is perfect okay in every way imaginable yeah the way they think the way they look that way they their body language everything it's the greatest version of you what does that person look like jesus wow like very clearly it's jesus in my head

it's you i mean if it's you the greatest version of you no it's like so i mean like are you religious yeah whatever you don't need yeah okay so jesus is just my homeboy right and i just like there's there's this artist online i should look it up and show you so you can put it in the show notes but um l curlow is his handle and there's he does this artwork of jesus i'm gonna cry and it's like the the essence of jesus or the soul of jesus or the frequency of jesus is like it's just heaven on earth it's's like all is always well. You are good enough. You have it all. And that knowing, like it's a knowing,

a happy knowing. Not that tough stuff doesn't happen, but there's like a happy knowing that I am capable. All is well. I am supported. And that would be me, but when you had me do that imagery,

it was Jesus walking. Wow. But if it was you, Well, I have long hair too. Right? It's true. If it was the. But if it was you. Well, I have long hair too. Yeah, right, it's true. If it was you, an actual identity of you, walking towards you, a six foot three. It would all be the same.

Are you six three, six two? Six two and a bit, six two and a quarter, yeah. It'd all look the same, the greatest version of you. I wouldn't change my, for sure. For sure, for sure. Yeah, you know, what an interesting. For sure, for sure. Yeah. You know, what an interesting exercise. Yeah, you know, I.

Would you be taller looking? No. Would you be standing differently? Would you be speaking differently? I would be everything God made me to be. I would just be fully in myself and fully okay with what I am. 100%. I'm good. You know?

Even though I'm a very much a work in progress. Like, I believe I'm good. 100%, I'm good. Yeah. You know? Even though I'm a very much a work in progress, like, I believe I'm good. I believe God did good. And I believe I'm working to, you know, whatever blessings he gave me, it's my job, my duty, my honor to, you know, make those even better. Wow.

But making them better my way, like, I got this tattoo, and it's the chakras, and, like, I'm after alignment in my life. And I think what I'm trying to say with all of my many words is that i'm after alignment and jesus represents alignment and to be my greatest self i have to be aligned with my my source my god my jesus myself who i know jesus is within me god is within me you know and so if i can find that peace even when it's chaotic outside, whether it's with my children, my husband, or on the court, then I'm a badass.

Yeah, you are. How do you get to a place of inner peace when there's chaos in your life? How do you go to that place? Yeah, well, I think breathing is so important. And then just like we talked about already, just like the words I choose to say, that dictates thoughts and emotions. So I guess just having the awareness that all is okay. Just be where you are and you are capable of handling it all. What are the words that you should be saying to yourself every single day on repeat?

Part of me wanted to say you are enough, but that comes from a place of lack. I don't know. You are loved. Like what would I want my children to know every day is that they are so deeply loved, no matter. I guess that's kind of the bottom line. What do you think young women, whether they're athletes or not, what should they be saying to themselves every day?

When there's so much comparison in social media and so much bullying and all this stuff going on, what should girls say to themselves when everyone might be saying other nasty things about them or to them? Well, I think all of our jobs is just to be the best we can be, best me I can be,

best you you can be, right? And I mean, certainly I'm a woman. Like, I compare myself every day to everyone. It's just such a losing proposition. Really? You compare yourself a lot? I mean, I think subconsciously or just like, oh, look how cute she is. He's such a good speaker.

You know, just these little things. But again, death by a thousand paper cuts. Owie. That sounds miserable. So I think self-love is a really big cuts. Owie, that sounds miserable. So I think self-love is a really big deal. I really think self-love is huge. I think recognizing our inherent strengths are really important.

And that regardless of winning, losing, being beautiful, you know, whatever beautiful is, kindness is the coolest and the most powerful and you are made of pure love. And all that sounds so hokey and probably not helpful to a sophomore going through it, but it's like your job is just to do you and not be persuaded, not conform. All the magazines and everything on TV,

it's all about putting us in a box. And I feel like if you look at all of those things and when you want to compare, be like, I'm not going to limit myself by trying to be like her. I'm going to be rad, be me, and be a nonconformist. And that's a powerful place to be. Do you feel like there was someone when you were growing up that taught you a really important lesson that you still hold on to today?

when you were growing up that taught you a really important lesson that you still hold on to today? Maybe a parent or a teacher or a coach or an idol figure that you, a role model athlete. Was there a lesson you learned early on that you're like shaped your life? There's so many.

It would be hard to say, but for the way my life has worked out and what I treasure in life. Like, I treasure my family. I treasure my faith. I treasure my sporting career. Like, I love sports. I love competing. And in my life, my parents modeled that for me at the highest level.

Like, they were so committed to each other. They were very young parents raising their children. And every week and weekend, we would go to their games, like super high level, really competitive softball games or bowling or whatever it was, volleyball. And it was gnarly. And it was really intense. And they're playing to win. And they had so much fun. And so that to see that, not to hear the words, like words don't teach, right? Like, they don't. But I saw the people I love and respect the most out there putting themselves in the line winning losing like fighting with

their own teammates because they all wanted to win so bad and I just learned by watching so that the gift of that to me was just the biggest and what's the biggest lesson you've learned as a mom? Oh, God. Oh. I mean, each of my children, as with each of us, has, like, came into this world differently. And I think just understanding that we're all fundamentally so different and I have to give my kids the space and hold the space for them,

for their greatest selves to show up, right? To be nurtured instead of labeling them, like this one has a tough time here, this one's great here, this one's, you know, whatever. And I do that because I fear for my children. You know, if something's hard for them, like, you know, it's like I speak it out loud and I kind of put them here and I want to feather their nest and fix

it for them but it's not my job to fix it for them and I learned that really early on and my parents let me fail they had really high expectations but they like you know they made me responsible because they made me go through it and so that was you know confirmed me being a parent. Yeah. But also just that, man, if you have a partner in the relationship, like, the partnership is hugely important to the parenting. Because what my husband and I do affects our kids deeply. It does, yeah. You know, and so I'm not cool with my husband. I'm great with my kids.

My kids aren't okay. You know, so fighting for that deep relationship with my husband. I'm great with my kids. My kids aren't okay. You know, so fighting for that deep relationship with my husband is very valuable. And my kids see it. And then they get self-worth and security from that. So I think those two things. But our kids, my kids are so wise and they're so rad. And I just don't want to mess them up. They are guided and gifted.

And I just want their self-talk to be better than mine. Right? Yes. What's the thing you're most proud of as a mom? Oh, well, just them. Like I had a part in creating them. Like they are, yeah. Do you want to be a daddy one day?

One day, yeah. Oh my God. Like, no, it's, I mean, yeah, it should be, but it shouldn't be. It's the most beautiful times a billion. Like my kids are, they're just, I don't know. I don't know how there's more in this earth when there's so many parents and so many children. And it's just, it's the most beautiful, powerful thing.

Yeah. Yeah. It's crazy to me. There's so much love. What's your biggest fear for them? For my kids? That they don't believe in themselves. That they don't love themselves enough.

How do we teach that to kids? To believe in themselves and to love themselves more? I don't know. I mean, I think loving that, I mean, yeah, like you can't love me enough or believe in me enough for me to believe in myself. Right. It's such an inside job. Yeah. How do we switch that, Dan? If we have, if the whole world is loving you, it doesn't matter.

No, God no. It's just like believing yourself. It doesn't matter if everyone's like, you got this. You have so much potential. I believe in you. But if you don't believe in you, you'll never reach that. It's worthless. It's so worthless.

And the cool thing is it doesn't matter if everyone's against you or doesn't believe. Totally. It just takes more. Oh, it's beautiful. Isn't that amazing? To be a person of conviction, like self-love, that would be the highest conviction that I would have, like that I would want, that I want in my life.

Because I can do anything. I can do anything if I have that self-love. On a scale of one to ten, how much do you love yourself and have self-love? Ten being like Jesus-level love, like it's for yourself. Where are you at on average? Well, it's kind of a halfy answer because with all my heart I know I am a 10. I love myself so much and I'm so grateful. It's hard for me to say that, but it is.

I'm grateful God did good. I'm becoming like I'm a divine human, I believe. Divine being. But I criticize myself a lot, so I don't know. I don't know what to say. But that doesn't mean I hate myself, but it just means I'm part of myself. So I don't know. I don't know what to say. But that doesn't mean I hate myself. But it just means I'm part of myself, you know. But I don't know how we teach our kids self-love.

I think we model it. I think just, you know, authentic examples are the best form of teaching. And then love them so much. And when they, like my boy the other day punched, my boy Sundance, our boy Sundance, punched his big brother in the throat. Like when he gets pissed off, he goes for the, like, big brother in the throat. Like when he gets pissed off, he goes for the eyeballs in the throat. He's like you. He's like me.

He's like me. But he's so chill until he's not. I know. He's a little torse. And so my husband got really loud, and he was like, hey. And Sundance goes, I hate myself. And he said it with so much sincerity,

I started bawling, which is not okay. I turned around, and I was losing it. I'm like, that's his self-talk. And my boy Joey was okay. You know, he was fine. Right, right. Which it was not okay what happened. But I went to that because I think I resonate with that because he's so hard on himself.

And so we had the talk of you are perfect. God made you perfect. Like you have to love yourself. You know, and it's like who knows what gets through. But like those moments, having conversations around those moments, ideally, you know, at least they'll have an awareness around it or whatever. Isn't it crazy? And when we start to verbalize how we feel about ourselves to other people,

it's like imagine how much more they may not be saying it to themselves. Because I used to say so many bad things to myself growing up. And then I would say bad things out loud about myself as well as a kid when I was insecure or lonely or whatever yeah and it's just it's a it's a daily challenge I know I don't know why we do that like self-deprecating humor I find to be so funny but it makes me so sad also it's like why would you diminish yourself why do I diminish myself make yourself smaller yeah it's just silly even if you don't mean, which most of the time you probably don't, but it's like, nip that in the bud. Do you think there's anything to being a critic of yourself though,

that helps you grow? Do you think like, okay, because I am critical because I do look at this weakness or this thing that I don't have that I'm becoming better? Or if we were always our best cheerleader internally and verbally, would we be better off than we are? For sure. I mean, path, those are just, I think you could have high standards and you can, you know, work toward perfection that you'll never get, but keep like working for progress and be kind to yourself and not be critical.

And still be loving to yourself, right? Yes. Yeah. Because the world's job is to be critical. Right. You know, so yeah. You've got coaches that'll give you feedback. Totally, yeah.

You've got results that give you feedback whether you won or lost. It's like you already have that. I mean, have you ever played a game and you just have the worst self-talk ever and you've bounced out of it? Like usually you're stuck. It's really hard to bounce out of it.

It totally is. You usually need like a halftime or some type of break. Right, shift the momentum. Yeah, time out. Be like, okay, let's refocus. Let's clear the energy. Yeah. It's really hard to balance out. It totally is. You usually need like a halftime or some type of break. Right, shift the momentum. Something to time out. Okay, let's refocus. Let's clear the energy. Yeah.

It's really hard. No, so it's just, you just got to nip it in the bud. So yeah, I think it probably works until it doesn't. Yeah. Or it only gets you so far. Exactly. And the biggest stage is you don't want to leave any of those variables around. You like want to be so high and tight with your self-talk, like in crisis management

or in these big moments that I'm training to believe that all moments are equal which they are you know but it's just how you frame these things so so in a another one to ten ten being you you only speak positive about yourself where are you having a scale one to ten of self-talk well i mean i don't i don't do the high fives that well like i'm not like good job carrying a Where are you on the scale of one to 10 of self-talk? Well, I mean, I don't do the high fives that well. Like I'm not like, good job, Karen, good job. Like you did great today. I don't do that.

So I feel satisfaction in things, but I don't speak to that. I would say I'm like a five. Five? Maybe, I don't know. Five in self-talk yourself. Probably. You're the greatest Bible player of all time.

I know, but I'm going through it. Take all this with the greatest help. I'm going through it. It's amazing that you were able to get that far. It's dumb. It's so frustrating. No, no, and I've not always been like this. Like, you know, I'm just kind of on a roller coaster right now. Just right now.

Gotcha, gotcha. Yeah, but it's been too long. I mean, a week of this is exhausting. Like, I'm so tired. I'm so ready just to kind of just focus on the bright side because it's there. It's like what you choose to look at. But it's like it's what you focus on is what you're going to attract in your life, like period.

You know, so you can be going through hell, but you're looking at the sunshine, you know, and you happen to see a rainbow, and then you start noticing, hey, I feel pretty good today. Hey, I got a great partner. Hey, I feel supported. Like I want to start that momentum going, not like, oh, I just messed that up. Oh, my partner just looked at me weird. Oh, the sand's so deep. Oh, it's so hot.

You know? It's all in our control, too. It's just a really challenging discipline. What are a few non-negotiables for you every day that dictate how your day goes? My abs too. Whether it be a routine or a habit or like, I have to have a sip of this every morning or I have to say goodbye to my husband or kiss my kid. What's the non-negotiable that if you don't do it, you know, your day is off. Oh, I don't have those. Okay. Not really. I think a good attitude

trumps everything. However, I, the days I do meditate, I wake up before my kids and meditate. Those days are largely beautiful. Yeah. They're better than when you don't. A hundred percent. Every single time. Sometimes sometimes we miss it. I know. I know because I want to hit snooze. I know, right? It's not worth it. So that would probably be the biggest one, you know, and just making sure that I get

good sleep at night sets me up for great days. It does. And that's another discipline that I'm getting better and better at, but it's a challenge. Yeah. You know? Wow. Yeah. This is a question I ask everyone towards the end.

It's called the three truths. Okay. So imagine you've accomplished everything you want in the rest of your life. You win four medals. You win 10 medals. Whatever you want to achieve, you accomplish it at this volleyball level, as a mom level, as a partner, as a business owner in the future, whatever it is you want to do. It all comes true.

Okay. You're a 10 out of 10 in self-taught. You have everything going smooth, perfect. If I do that, it's all happening. You do all comes true. You're a 10 out of 10 and self-taught. You have everything going smooth, perfect. I do that. You do all these things. But for whatever reason, it's your last day on earth and you've got to go somewhere else, right? Your body goes, your life goes, and you've got to take every accomplishment with you, every piece of content you've put out into the world, every business, anything. It's got to go with you that you've created content you've put out into the world, every business, anything, it's got to go with you that you've created.

Your family and your kids are around, but like all the work you've put out into the world, it goes with you to the next place. So no one has actually any video footage of you from winning or speaking. They don't have this interview, but you get an opportunity to write down on a piece of paper three things that you wanna leave with the world. And this is what I call three truths. It could be your three biggest lessons that you would share to the world

from everything you've learned and now this is all we have to remember you by, these like lessons, life lessons. What would you say are your three truths without having any preparation? I'm so ill prepared. It's okay. But whatever's on your heart right now.

Oh. Three things you on your heart right now. Oh Three things you'd share with the world. It's your job to be happy It's your job. Like it's not your job to make me happy. So my husband's job than the kids it's My job our jobs to create our lives. We are not the victims We are the creators and if we live our days that way we can create our lives. We are not the victims. We are the creators. And if we live our days that way, we can create beautiful lives. Okay.

That's one. That's one. Okay. Two, accept and love people and hold space for them to grow and inspire them by your leadership or by your ways if you hope that they grow into something. But I feel like that would take the pressure off a lot of people if they knew just period you can't yeah you got it you change yourself you can't change

other people yeah okay that's to the third lesson that you leave the world with I feel like I have so many better ones I think right now what would you say to your kids if you could share one final thing to them? I'm torn between it's supposed to be fun. Life is supposed to be fun. Yeah, and? You know, like don't take it too seriously. Okay.

Like all is always well. I always want my kids to know that. Like I want them to know truly if the worst of the worst happens, you're going to be okay. I really want the world to know that, and I believe that's true. And simply, like, my grandpa, I asked him for advice. Like, I knew, you know, he was kind of getting ready to go. And I said, Grandpa, what's some advice you can give me? He goes, just don't be a knucklehead.

Don't do dumb shit. Don't be an idiot. Don't do dumb things. You know so like simple advice yeah like i'm so messing up your truths your three truths but it's like yeah it's so cool to care like it's okay to care a lot a lot of people hedge their bets because they don't want to get hurt but caring is powerful and it always leads you to beautiful places um yeah and then i just really believe that we are the creators of our lives we are the creators of our own happiness i think that's absolutely true yeah i don't know fire me fire me from this podcast i love this gosh i love this stuff what's the thing that um

good ones. I love this. Gosh, I love this stuff. What's the thing that you're most proud of about your husband? Oh, about my husband? I mean, his heart is the most amazing thing ever. He's so rad, man. The way he lives life is, he lives his 1440 really well. he has high standards he holds people accountable he has fun in life and he kicks ass you know he works hard so he loves his work and uh no but his heart is his magic yeah that's cool yeah tell me more about the 1440 what's how do we how do we support this man well so we're at platform 1440 p1440.com. 1440.com? Say that again? P1440. P1440. The number.

1440. Yeah, 1440. So we were started because our sport of volleyball is so powerful, so dynamic. But it's just so fractioned. And everyone has their own little piece of the pie and the athletes are suffering. The elites are all dead broke. You know, they're all stuck in the system. There's no money, no stars.

People can't brand themselves. You could win a gold medal and make not much money the whole year. A hundred percent. Well, we, you know, it's like such a long conversation. So we were founded to elevate and serve the sport. Like we are a top five sport in the world, volleyball. Really? No one knows that. Yeah.

With participants, with viewers. Like we are a top five sport in the world, volleyball. No one knows that. Yeah, with participants, with viewers. Like we are huge. We are one of the top sports at the Olympics in tickets and in viewership on NBC. Like we are the thing once every four years. And so 1440 was created to make us relevant every day of every year, not just once every four years. Like it's a beautiful thing to be a popular Olympic sport,

but it keeps you relevant for two weeks once every four years. And then what? Exactly. And then you're irrelevant, kind of, right? Exactly. Unless you're the best in the world like you. Well, yeah, well, geez, when you've been around 20 years,

people can't get rid of you. But no, but you know, the life of an Olympic athlete's really hard. So hard. But our goal, part of our goal for 1440 is to create kind of the NBA ATP model where the athletes can like cut their teeth, have their careers on the tour or on, platform and then the Olympics is like the sacred beautiful cherry

on top. But if it's reversed then that irrelevancy, that growth doesn't happen. So we're here to serve as a sport and it's beautiful and you can follow us on social and we have a lot of juniors and semi-pro events and the goal is to have… So it's a tour? It's a tour but we're a digital media company as well so we want to become like the go-to resource center for all things volleyball training mindfulness kind of the holistic approach that my husband and i live by um we're outfitting our resource center right now so we have amazing experts um it's really really fun what i mean because there's been different tours over the years it's been like

what was the big one so the av AVP still exists. It still exists. Yeah. Didn't it go through some transition? Oh, it's been like this. It's been so volatile. And the AVP is wonderful. We believe it's mismanaged. We left that tour a couple of years ago.

We just thought they were. So you're not a part of it anymore. No, and it was really hard because we love that tour. We helped build it. We feel like it's family. But the athletes were suffering. The athletes were treated like not well and kind of holding the sport hostage. So we came on board to celebrate them, you kick butt, and we're going

to create new opportunities. So new tournaments. Because we believe in abundance. New tournaments, new opportunities for growth. We have a developmental program where we train around 80 to 100 athletes for free a year. The athletes just graduated from college who are trying to become pro. We give them free strength training, free volleyball training, free recovery. So we're subsidizing, yeah, Manhattan Beach and Huntington Beach, we have two places, yeah.

So we're giving back to the sport. But our sport, the demographics in our game are so powerful. I mean, we are the number one sport for girls and women 10 to 18. In terms of people that play? Yeah, participation. And then in college you get 12 indoor scholarships and six scholarships for beach volleyball now like that's for beach

for beach in the past couple years that happened yeah so they were playing beach in college oh yeah no it's a beautiful game and it's growing like gangbusters and indoor is ginormous and underserved as well so in europe too oh it's 100 100 yeah hundred percent yeah so we there's a huge market opportunity why is no pro league in u.s when u.s is dominant aren't they yeah indoor yeah they're always always the top that's one of the top i don't know there's just so many choices here in america there are you know so there's just a lot of white noise so we just need to figure out the marketing you know genius behind what we're offering because it's so beautiful and if you show up you're you're going to have a great time. And the lifestyle of beach volleyball is incomparable. It's a blast.

So I don't know. We haven't cracked the egg yet, but we will. How else can we support you on this journey? Oh, man. In your life, with the career leading up to this moment? What a nice question. How can we support you? I just think good vibes. If you've got any prayers you want to throw my way, I'll take them. But yeah, I think you live a good life and make the world better in your way.

And I'll do the same. And that's wonderful. But no, this is great. This has been two years coming. So I appreciate your patience. We've been trying to get Carrie on for a while. We've been emailing, Instagram messaging, texting. When can we do it?

When can we? Oh, this month. Oh, next month. I'm so sorry. It's all good. This is perfect timing. I'd rather have you now than two years ago. Totally.

Kara, I want to acknowledge you for a moment for the way you show up is really powerful. Because I can only imagine the amount of pressure you've had over your career in the last 20 plus years of just trying to make it, making it, staying there. staying there, going from different partners to having kids to challenges with your husband to just like the age difference in your sport and just constantly showing up at a high level with a smile, with a positive attitude is really inspiring for me and for probably so many women around the world who wanna be like you as a great role model.

So I acknowledge you for all of it. For not trying to act like you're perfect. For not trying to have it all put together all the time. And for being okay with the mess sometimes and the chaos sometimes. So I acknowledge you for everything. You're a beautiful human. I really appreciate you being here.

That means a lot. Yeah, of course. It really does. Of course. I have one final question. It's what's your definition of greatness? Oh man. Well, part of it would be what you just said.

Like when I think of the greats, what did the greats do? They showed up every day with all they had, 100% of that day. And they had such mastery of themselves and their craft because they had lived the fundamentals and the fundamentals became part of who they were and so they were able to execute at the highest level consistently and because their founding principles were so strong body mind and spirit and craft they were able to have careers of 10 20 years greatness doesn Greatness doesn't happen once. Like, flash in the pans, that doesn't equal greatness. You know, that's a great moment. But greatness like Jordan, like Mia, you know, like so many, like Kobe,

it's over time. And those people show up with all they have over time at the highest level performing. And the essence of them and their journey to their greatness inspires you know whatever that little person in us saying that you have more in you you know I think it's a beautiful thing with the greats do for this world they make us believe a little bit more and they make us curious about what's inside of us but the greatest of all time do it consistently it's rad hmm

okay thanks so much. Appreciate you. Thank you. Thank you. My friend, thank you so, so much for listening to this episode. It means the world to me that you take the time out of your busy life to come here on the School of Greatness to learn from the greatest in the world, to get inspiration, greatness, to learn from the greatest in the world, to get inspiration, tools, strategies, techniques to take your life, your career, your business, your relationships, your purpose to the next level.

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really helps us spread the message to more people over on Apple. And also if you want inspirational messages from me, text messages right to your phone every single week. We've got so many people who love these messages. Please text me the word podcast to 614-350-3960. Again, just text the word podcast to 614-350-3960. And I'll make sure to be sending you weekly messages on inspiration, motivation every single week. And I want to close with a quote from another great champion, Mia Hamm, who said, it is more difficult to stay on top than to get there. I am so grateful for Carrie

for sharing her wisdom today and really opening up and being vulnerable. And sometimes we can achieve a lot and then we think it's going to keep being that same way and we get the bronze as opposed to the gold.

Or something happens where we don't get the result we think we should be getting that we got in the past. And it's hard to stay on top. It's hard to stay up there even when you've been there for a long time. And I'm excited. No matter where you're at in your life, you might have felt like you got knocked off in some area with coronavirus or with anything in your life happening right now with this pandemic. But I'm telling you, if you continue to focus on the process, with coronavirus or with anything in your life happening right now with this pandemic. But I'm telling you, if you continue to focus on the process,

if you continue to fall in love with the process, that becomes the prize. And the end result will be magical and beautiful at the end of the day. I promise you. Focus on the process. I want to remind you, if no one's told you lately, you are loved. You are worthy. And you matter. I'm so grateful for you and you know what time it is it's time to go out there and do something great