The School of Greatness - From PASSION to PROFIT: 3 Proven Strategies for a Thriving Side Hustle

Episode Date: November 3, 2023

This special episode of the School of Greatness is brought to you by TikTok Shop. Visit www.TikTokShop.com/podcast to learn more.Today we dive into the world of entrepreneurship and starting a successful side hustle. Lewis sits down with 3 accomplished entrepreneurs who share their invaluable insights on how to turn your passion into profit. They discuss the importance of taking that first step, overcoming self-doubt, and building a resilient mindset. Throughout the episode, you will learn practical strategies for identifying your niche, leveraging your skills, and creating a thriving side hustle. Join us on this journey of empowerment and transformation as we explore the keys to becoming a successful entrepreneur!Rory Vaden discusses how to monetize your side hustle and eventually go all-in on your dream. He discusses the biggest mistakes you’re making on social media when it comes to the process for monetizing your personal brand, how to generate leads and get over the fear of selling, what most people get wrong about sales and marketing, and so much more.Alex Hormozi is a first-generation Iranian-American entrepreneur, investor, and philanthropist. In 2013, he started his first brick & mortar business, successfully scaling his business to six locations in three years. Since then he has scaled and exited 7 companies – his most notable exit was the majority sale of his licensing company for $46.2M. If you’re ready to learn how to become a master salesperson, quiet your ego, turn any “No” into a “Yes” when negotiating, and make the leap into scaling your own side hustle, this episode is for you!Jenna Kutcher turned her creativity into massive success. She’s a photographer, entrepreneur, and podcaster helping dreamers run authentic, profitable businesses. She is also host of the top-rated Goal Digger Podcast, she’s helped thousands redefine success and chase bold dreams through her decade-long work as a leading online personality and educator. We discuss work/life balance, and why we should all value time over money.In this episode you will learn,How to become a master salesperson, quiet your ego, and turn any "No" into a "Yes" when negotiating, empowering you to scale your side hustle successfully.Insights on redefining success, emphasizing work/life balance, and the profound value of prioritizing time over money, guiding you toward a more fulfilling entrepreneurial journey.How to monetize your side hustle, addressing common social media mistakes, lead generation strategies, conquering the fear of selling, and dispelling misconceptions about sales and marketing, equipping you with actionable steps to grow your business.The importance of taking that crucial first step on your entrepreneurial path and the methods to overcome self-doubt, thanks to the wisdom shared by accomplished entrepreneurs in this episode.Practical strategies for identifying your niche, leveraging your skills, and creating a thriving side hustle, setting you on a transformative journey toward becoming a successful entrepreneur.For more information go to www.lewishowes.com/1524For more Greatness text PODCAST to [phone]Full Episodes:Rory Vaden: https://link.chtbl.com/1148-podJenna Kutcher: https://link.chtbl.com/1271-podAlex Hormozi: https://link.chtbl.com/1522-pod

This special episode of the School of Greatness is brought to you by TikTok Shop. Now we talk a lot on this podcast about purpose and mindset, finding the things you want to do, things you're passionate about, and getting the right mindset to achieve those goals. For a lot of you, we know those goals are entrepreneurial. We're partnering with TikTok Shop on this episode, all about side hustles, because TikTok Shop can help you launch and grow your business. TikTok Shop offers a powerful new way to sell and shop on TikTok. It's really cool. Brands and businesses of all sizes can reach new customers, collaborate with creators, and drive more sales by showcasing their products and selling directly on TikTok. Visit TikTokShop.com slash podcast to discover more. That's T-I-K-T-O-K shop.com slash podcast. And stick around later

in the episode to hear more about TikTok shop and how it helped a member of the School of Greatness family bring one of their passions to life. Before you try to sell somebody something, figure out what they care about. Yes. Spend time learning about them. You should always win the relationship, even if you lose the sale. If you focus on making sales, you're gonna feel pressure. If you focus on building relationships, man it's gonna be great. Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, a former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock

your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin. Welcome to this special masterclass. We've brought some of the top experts in the world to help you unlock the power of your life through this specific theme today. It's going to be powerful. So let's go ahead and dive in. So once you figure out what your side hustle is, how do we start the process of monetizing

our side hustle? Dude, this is such a good, that's such a good question. Because that's the thing, right? It's like, we want to make money. We want to help people. We don't want to be the desperate salesperson. Please buy my thing out of pity. Yeah. We don't want to be the needy guy.

And, you know, and this is something I've spent my whole life doing. I went door to door. So I worked in retail sales when I was like, for months, I was like 16 years old. And then I spent five years going door to door, 14 hours a day, six days a week, interrupting people. 14 hours a day, door to door. 14 hours a day, door to door, you know,

interrupting people and like, you know, pretty intrusive. As I sometimes say that being a door to door salesperson is like being the human version of email spam. Right, right, right. Or a telemarketer. Yeah, a telemarketer. Yeah, it's like telemarketers are, you know, than us. We bug telemarketers when they're eating dinner. And then, you know, we built a sales coaching company

to eight figures teaching salespeople how to sell, how do you generate leads. And then then brand builders we do more like marketing and digital lead generation but whether you're like a fortune 100 company a personal brand a professional service or just a person with a dream for a side hustle this is the question how do you make that first sale like how do you get money? Where do you find the people? Before you answer that, what was the greatest lesson you learned going door to door for five years?

About yourself and about selling in general. You know, there was this thing that we used to say all the time that the answer's behind the next door. You never stop. There's always another door. You'll find the answer in the next place. It was always like that.

That part of it, I think, actually is good because this is true about sale. I mean, a part of the good news for both marketing and sales is that they are both a numbers game. They are a numbers game. It's not like it won't work, right? Like you have the fear like, is anyone going to buy this? No, somebody will buy no matter how bad you are or how crappy your thing is. If you talk to enough people, which is not what the goal is, but that people will, they really will buy if you keep going. The truth about most sales is it's people think of it as like combat. Like, you know, I either have to put the magic marketing words on the page or I need to say like the voodoo mind trick to like convince you to buy something. And then it's kind of like this battle. And it's more like an Easter egg hunt where it's like,

there is some number of eggs out there in the field that have candy in them. And no matter if you did anything or not to desert candy being in there, they're just there. You just have to go find them. And there's a lot of empty eggs along the way. There's a lot that you're going to open and it's empty. And so that is one part of it. But the biggest problem that people have in selling is that they're self-centered. The reason we don't sell more is because we're focused on how do I make money, how do I convince people, and we approach it wrong. And I would say that sales has been taught wrong, done wrong, promoted wrong. I mean, we're big fans of cleaning this up and changing the way that people think about it.

I think we're also self-centered in the fact that we're afraid of people saying no and how it will make us feel about ourselves when they say no. Absolutely. Yeah. When I say self-centered, part of that is kind of like the, you know, I don't necessarily mean selfish, like I'm going to take in for me instead of you. Although there's a part of that where it's like, you know, the sale is convincing people to buy something they don't want.

Right. That's not what we're into. Right. But it's also fear is self-centered. Fear is extremely self-centered. You only feel fear when you're thinking about yourself. We say there is no fear when the mission to serve is clear. When you're focused on helping someone else, you're not worried about it.

It's like if there's a car accident, someone's on the side of the road, you run up to them. You're not thinking about how does your hair look and, you know, your clothes or your, you know, is your outfit cute? You're going to help somebody. We're always at our best when we're serving others. And one of the magic, one of the magical powers of service is that being focused on service releases our insecurities. It's so true. This is something I learned speaking on stages. I said there's probably different levels to my speaking life. There's the 13 years ago being terrified to speak in front of three people without stuttering and sweating

and being nervous and me saying, okay, I need to go learn how to get some reps speaking in front of people so I'm not nervous. So I joined Toastmasters, which you famously got second in the world for. I love how you famously bring that up every time we talk about second place in the world. Second place at the World Championship of Public Speaking. True story. No big deal. And I did that for a year, and I gained confidence through the actions of repetition, of showing up, of preparing, of reviewing my speaking film, and just improving through reps over time. Yeah. And I remember for about seven, eight years,

I was getting now paid to speak for my credibility, for my expertise through LinkedIn and everything else. And I would still get nervous for a week before a big speech. Then I got better over time and it was like, okay, it's only two days before I'm nervous. Then it was a day before. And I remember it stayed a day before, but it wasn't nerves of excitement. It was nerves of insecurity. It's like, I'm afraid of what people are going to think about me. And I

remember asking a coach of mine that I had hired for a while. It was a good friend of mine. And I said, I'm about to go on stage in an hour. I don't know why I'm still so nervous. Like, I've been doing this for 10 years. Shouldn't I be over this by now? And he said, because you're focused on the way you look, not on serving other people in the audience. And the moment, exactly what you said, the moment you start focusing on service,

knowing that you will probably forget something, you might make a mistake, and not worrying about those things, know that something might happen that's not perfect. But when your heart's on service, it's hard to be nervous, as you say. Isn't that something you said? Yeah, years ago on our very first interview together. But yeah, that's it. And so somebody watching right now could be like, okay, well, how do I make the money? You know, like, how do I get the lead? But this is how you get the lead, is you serve first. So in a digital world, you provide value first. Value, value, value. Value, value, value. Give out. It's the three E's, right? You're putting out content that is either

educational, encouraging, or entertaining. And typically some mix of all three. Educational, encouraging, or entertaining. And typically some mix of all three. Educational, encouraging, or entertaining. And the digital marketing strategy that we employ at Brand Builders Group for Rory Vaden Personal Brand and for all of the clients that we work with, that we teach these personal brands, work with that we teach these personal brands is teach everything you know for free one bite at a time but in all random order right so it's not packaged in the right order as you would have in a book or a course or a workshop or an event right you know we've said this before people don't pay for information they pay for organization and and application. And we have a thing called the services spectrum, which basically says, you know, information is down here. It's free.

Organization is here in the middle. You can charge a little bit like in a course or a book or, you know, like a membership site, but applications up here at the top, which is like a coaching program or consulting, you know, like done-for-your-services application. Information is social media, podcasting, blogs. YouTube videos. People don't pay for information. But you're just giving them bite-sized chunks of information. You're teaching everything you know, but not all at once in the right sequential order.

People pay for the right order. That's organization. I mean, you know, we tell one of the reasons people hire us at Brand Builders Group is because we have a very set curriculum, the brand builder journey. And we say, look, one of the biggest problems with personal brands is that people do the right thing but in the wrong order. They're like launching Facebook ads the first month and it's like, that's step 76. You're like, you skipped all of this. They don't have a funnel yet. So they're launching it to nothing. Yeah. You're driving it back to nothing. You're spending all this time on social media,

driving back to nothing. So the first thing is find your uniqueness, figure out what you're good at. Then extrapolate that into a product, you know, create your service, your product offer. You may already have that. And then after that, it's like, okay, how do I drive traffic? And there's two worlds here. When I think of marketing and sales, I think of the online world and the offline world. And we've done both, which is rare. Most of the people have done one or the other. And it's like I've done the door-to-door thing.

I worked for a startup IT company doing inside corporate B2B phone sales. I worked for a startup IT company doing inside corporate B2B phone sales. Then when we started our former company, we did phone sales like B2B for like small businesses and we did free presentations and we sold. But the fastest mechanism to generating a lead is to do a free presentation demonstrating your value, your expertise. It's giving people a sample and then offering them the next step. Here's what it is. It is the food court. When you go to the food court. Want some orange chicken. And the orange chicken on a stick. Man, tastes good. I want the whole thing now. It's a and if you want more I'm right here these candy gets me every time if you're a free piece of candy just going to the store you're like who I want the whole box yeah I mean it's and it's a free presentation you could do this through

many different mechanisms used to be free workshops in person and by the way like when I say this is this is what everybody does, this is what Jim Rohn did and Tony Robbins and Brian Tracy and Tom Hopkins and everybody in the personal development industry, they used to go do, this is how we built our former company. This is what people in real estate industries do. They do it. They teach at a free seminar. Free seminar. A 90-minute live free training. Financial advisors do this. Come to my free dinner presentation on 10 keys to retirement. Why? Because it works. Like you're giving value and you're leveraging the law of reciprocity, right? As I give to you before instead of ask, you don't, the way you make sales

is by giving so much that at some point they like ask you to buy versus showing up and asking all the time. In fact, we use a rule called, we call it the rule of 10. And this is a pricing. This is more of like a pricing thing. But, you know, people get really weird around price and asking for the money. And, you know, when it comes to collecting a credit card or if you're on like a webinar or a Facebook Live or if you're,

it doesn't matter if it's Facebook Live, it's a webinar, it's a video funnel or it's standing on stage or it's talking to one person, you got to be convicted in the value you're bringing. And the way you do that is by over-delivering. The number one way to drive your own conviction is over delivering. And everyone teaches sales as like, you know, the voodoo mind tricks on the person you're talking to. The real game is the mind is winning the battle in your own mind and being convinced that what you have is valuable and the rule of ten helps you do that. So basically, when people are putting together their first offer, they tend to like swing for the fences and go,

well, I'm going to charge for a $2,000 video course or something. And they say, well, I saw a video and my coach told me, charge what you're worth. That's terrible advice. Don't charge what you're worth. What should we charge? When you're starting out, don't charge what you're worth. Charge what you can get. Charge what you're convicted on. Charge what you can massively over-deliver upon. If I'm charging what I'm worth, there's going to be a bit of reluctance when I deliver the price. They're going to feel it, and it's going to massively reduce the percentage conversion. Yeah, someone once told me charge what 10x the value would be. Yeah, that's the rule of 10.

Charge one-tenth of what it's worth. Exactly. If it's $10,000 worth of value, then charge $1,000, right? That's right. And if it's $1,000 worth of value, charge $100. If it's $100, charge $10.

So you always have, if it were a bank account, you always have this balance with people. And it starts for free. It starts on social media, which is amazing. The power that social media gives us, it's not that you have to reach millions of people. It gives us a mechanism to push a button and deliver value. Because it's like people go, it's like a chicken or the egg.

How do I build an audience? I want to provide value, but I don't have an audience. No, you provide value first. If nobody is watching, you record and you teach value, you deliver it and people will engage with that. Now we have a process, which I'm happy to talk about, of converting comments into customers. So, you know, I don't know if you want to take this more like online or if you want to do like more offline. I think online is cool. Okay. So let's talk about that. So, you know, it starts with the mind. Okay. Self-centeredness is the problem. Service-centeredness is the solution. Yes. You never feel fear when the mission to serve is clear. You get your mind right. Then you go, okay, I'm going to go out and provide value.

So you start pumping out value. We have a thing called the content diamond, which I know I've talked about on other episodes. We can touch on that. But anyways, you're putting out value. And now what happens is people like and comment. And what most of us do is we go, six views. Right. And it's just like, I mean, and we get self-centered again.

And we go, I only have six views. Jay Shetty gets like six billion views. And I'm like, and it just makes me feel awful because I'm thinking about myself. I mean, unless you're just doing the thing where you're going to do it for years and years and years, and one day you'll have more audience, but even it's like, if you want to really impact lives, impact lives. Like, that's what pisses me off is people are like, I want to impact lives. And it's like, great. Okay. Let's put, you know, put a video out there. Why don't I have any followers? Well, I don't care. Like, I'm not getting paid to do it. Focus on one at a time.

One person. You said you wanted to impact lives impact lives there's no barrier to impacting lives there's no barrier it's easier than it has ever been in history to impact lives I'm curious for people that aren't entrepreneurs or they haven't done entrepreneurial things because you and I weren't entrepreneurs right we kind of became one. Yep. Should they just go for it? Should they test something first and try to get a few sales on something?

What do you think is the best approach now in today's time? So I talk a lot about how I sometimes don't necessarily know what I want, but I know what I don't want. Which is what? Like when I was in corporate America, I sat down at a table just like this and my boss said, here's your five-year plan. They never once asked me, what do you want? What's your next move? Where do you want to go? And I wanted to go to corporate. Like I wanted to move back to Minnesota, be in Minneapolis. But here I was in a store,

a glorified HR person that had to bring the garbage to the dumpster at the end of the night wearing red and khaki, which, by the way, I hate red and khaki. And I sometimes I think that people get really lost because they're like, well, yeah, if I knew what my passion was, I could go figure out a way to make money. But I don't even know what my passion is. Right. I could go figure out a way to make money, but I don't even know what my passion is, right? And sometimes I think knowing what you don't want is just as important as knowing what you do want. And sometimes it's an easier place to start with. Like, I don't want 10 vacation days a year.

I don't want to work weekends and nights. Like, you know, and so it's like trying to figure those things out. But the other piece of that is that we have to like start to be open in saying I've changed. Right. I'm evolving. Maybe I wanted this thing for a while, but now I want something different. It's like we get so attached to our identities that the thought of like saying, oh, I'm different, or I know I said I wanted this, but it doesn't feel the way I thought it would. And so I want to pursue something different. It's like this, there's this notion, Dr. Maya Shanker was on my podcast and she talks about identity foreclosure. And it's like the reason why you hold on to genes that don't fit you anymore, because you remember how you invested in them or the reason why you get the degree,

even though three years into it, you know that you don't want to do the profession. It's this idea of like, so I got to make it worth something, but instead then we're wasting our future, right? And so- You call it identity closure? Identity foreclosure. Foreclosure. Like as in I'm foreclosing this piece of me. I am shutting it down because I am no longer who I was. And it's fascinating because even being here with you today, having a book coming out,

you're seeing a changed mind. Yeah, you didn't want to do this. At all. I mean, you are the one person who truly witnessed how much I said I wouldn't do this. Yeah, you're like, just go launch a course and make a bunch more money and have less stress. Yeah. Thanks for joining us on this special side hustle episode brought to you by tiktok

shop and i want to take a quick break from the episode to highlight a tiktok shop success story jordan from my team created an amazing children's picture book called mirror face which he's been selling directly on his own website to reach new audiences and drive more sales jordan signed up for tiktok shop and has seen a huge lift in book sales. Go support his book as well as thousands of small businesses like his who are also on TikTok Shop. And now is your time to sign up for TikTok Shop too. Entrepreneurs, if you're just getting started selling your products, this is a great way to let people know about your new business. TikTok is such an incredible tool for building and growing an audience. And now with TikTok Shop, it's a super simple way to convert your viewers to actual customers

through shoppable videos and live shopping experiences. Later in the episode, you'll hear more about some of these world-class brands using TikTok Shop every day. It has easy-to-use tools that can help businesses of all sizes.

And visit tiktokshop.com slash podcast to discover more. That's T-I-K-T-O-K shop.com slash podcast. And so it's like, we are so afraid of changing and not just changing, which is scary and uncertain. We're afraid of people seeing us change. We're afraid of being like, I know I said this one thing, but I don't believe it anymore. And I think that change is like growth and evolution. And like, we're in this thing called life school, school of greatness, life school, where we are learning.

And if we're not learning and evolving, like what are we doing? We're missing this opportunity. But I would say for those people who are like, maybe I have this idea or whatever. Do it as an experiment. Don't attach money to it. Don't attach deadlines. Look at how I wrote the book. Do it in a way that proves to yourself that one, you're capable of taking action, but

in a way that doesn't necessarily paint things as like black and white success and failure. Look at everything as an experiment. I'm going to try this thing. All it's going to do is yield a result and that result is going to guide my next step. And I feel like nowadays it's like we have to define, is this a success or is it a failure? No, no, no, no, no. I've done many things and failed. I've tried many different things and been like, oh, that was not.

Like I did senior portraits one year. So I was like, I can make bank shooting seniors. I hated it. Yeah. Did it for one summer. I was like, never again. Was it a failure? No way.

It was just a point on the path that was guiding me forward. And so I feel like getting really open to like trying things. And the other part of that is that every single time I've tried something different, it's always been a side hustle. I've not abandoned the nine to five to jump all in on something. I've used the nine to five to fuel the other something. Then when I did courses, I used the courses to fuel the podcast. And when I did the podcast, it's like they all pour into each other.

And it's like, we're so quick to neglect something because it wasn't the perfect fit. When it's like, that can propel you forward if you lean on it. And it'll give you this ability to not feel the desperation that makes us say yes to the wrong things or do things that were never meant for us. Absolutely.

What was the biggest identity foreclosure you've had in the last few years? Getting rid of my Abercrombie jeans from when I was 18. Truly, I remember how expensive those suckers were and how I saved every pretty penny. And I told myself someday they'll fit again. And guess what? They don't. And they're not even in style anymore. But I literally, no, I mean, that was part of it.

But I think for me, moving back home, which is something Drew and I met in college in Wisconsin, lived in Wisconsin for over a decade and moved back home to Duluth, Minnesota. And, you know, one, I never thought I'd move home. I did. There's just something about it where I was like, people that are there still doing the same things, right? Still saying different mindset stuck in the ways or whatever. Yeah. And I have noticed to a trend. And I'm curious, like when you go back to Ohio, if you like stay where you grew up like do you kind of revert to your old self a little bit yeah i really love it though because yeah i do because i'll hang out at the restaurants yeah and i'll like just talk to the people just like i'm there yeah you know like i'm from there yeah it was funny though because i like whenever i would go home like in college i'd myself, like, sleeping on the couch again and watching MTV and eating ramen noodles.

And, like, things that were not a part of who I was, but, like, there was just this, like, comfort of, like, this is what I do. I never thought I'd move back home. And I had this vision. After our second loss, I, like, hired someone to, like, help me unpack the grief. Because I was, I skipped, like, denial and went straight to anger after our second loss, I like hired someone to like help me unpack the grief because I was, I skipped like denial and went straight to anger after our second loss. So it just was like, what is wrong with me?

Why is this happening? Um, you know, I was very public about our first loss and felt like there was purpose there. Yes. The second one, you were like, this is frustration and anger.

Yeah. And I was like, I got the lesson already. I don't need this again. Right. And I was like praying to God, like, where is your redemption song? Because I want to, like, prove how great you are, and now you've let me down again. And, like, I don't even know where to go from here. And I hired this person to, like, help me unpack my grief because I was like, I'm angry. I hate my body.

I don't know what to do. And she, like, led me through this exercise and we were like sitting together and we would get on the phone once a week. And every time I wanted to like hit ignore, you know, like I was just like, didn't want to do the call. Yeah. Cause I was just like, I know this is going to suck. And we're like on the phone and just like, okay, we're going to do a little exercise and I want for you to close your eyes and like breathe. And her name is Erin Treloar. And she runs a really cool Instagram called Raw Beauty Talks. And it's all about like coming back to your body.

And so she's like having me breathe. And she's like, I want for you to envision like the most vibrant version of yourself. Like you are happy and energized and alive. And it didn't just stop at like the vision. She's like, you know, like put your fingers in your finger slots. Like step into your feet. Like I want for you to be there and like feel what it feels to like be fully alive and to enjoy your life. And she said this line and it was like, like a dial on a stereo.

I want for you to turn your intuition up and turn the noise of the world down and I was like envisioning all this and in the vision I saw this little girl and pancakes and a Persian rug and I was wearing jeans and a white linen shirt and I opened my eyes after the vision I was like bawling and I said to her she goes you know what came up for you and I was like eyes after the vision. I was, like, bawling. And I said to her, she goes, you know, what came up for you? And I was like, I think we have to move. And she was like, what do you mean? And I was like, I love the house we're in,

but there's this bedroom, and it was always going to be our baby's bedroom. I get so emotional, but then I'm like, every time I walk by it, I just think about what hasn't happened. And I was like, I just, this vision of like this long table and like this rug and this baby. And like, I see it. And I was like, I think we've got to move. And that day, because I'm a quick action taker. You're like looking at houses. You're like, you're finding an agent. I get on Zillow and I type in Duluth, Minnesota and Drew and I had never talked about moving home. Like it was like a, maybe we'll move to Minneapolis someday. Like, you know, kind of stay in the city. Where were you living at this time? We were in a really small town in Wisconsin called Fort Atkinson

and we had great friends and stuff, but we didn't have the support of a family. And we had great friends and stuff, but we didn't have the support of a family. And I found this house on Zillow. And I text my family text thread as a joke and say, maybe this will be the Kutcher Craftsman. Like, it was this beautiful home in Minnesota. We had never talked about it. Drew is out on a run. And his phone starts blowing up because my family is like, move home, move home, come home. Oh, my God.

He's like, what? We never talked about this. Yeah. He gets home. He's like, what is going on in your family text thread? Like, it's going crazy. And I was like, did you see the listing? He's like, what listing?

And I was like, I saw this house in Minnesota. And I thought he would be like, you know, maybe three years from now. And he was like, oh, we could do that. And I was like, what? And, you know, it's crazy because I didn't necessarily move because of the vision but it was like the first thing where I was like you know this where we are is not working for me the craziest part is this Louis we didn't move for like seven eight months the day after we moved in I took a positive pregnancy test Wow it was little it was

litter I like I always say I'm like it's like I would like had to move home and like be grounded at home like it just felt like this like crazy moment where it was like I'm home and I'm ready and like this is it and that next day you moved in that's crazy it's crazy when was this? April 1st of 2017. Oh, my gosh. Or 2018, yeah. So it was like. It's like right after the mastermind that, yeah, that next year. And it was like, and here's the thing that's so wild about my journey, because, you know, one in four women experiences pregnancy loss.

Is that when you're in it, I mean, it is dark. I can imagine. And I often think about it's like if you were like walking through like a warehouse and it's just like pitch black and you're literally just like inching step by step like you don't know where you're going. And it's like you just you have a flashlight so you can only see like directly in front of you. And once you get through it, it's like somebody turned the lights on and you see like directly in front of you and once you get through it it's like somebody turned the lights on and you see where you were and why you were there

and i hate the line like everything happens for a reason because when you are in it there is yeah there's no reason why that happened but our like three-year waiting season, I can see now with hindsight, was required for me to build a life that supported what I was waiting for. Really? When I first was pregnant with my first pregnancy, I was shooting 25 weddings a year. I remember we were in Hawaii and I looked up the due date and I was like, I can't be due then. I have like four more weddings. I'm going to like have to cancel on these. Like I literally was like. can't be due then I have like four more weddings I'm gonna like have to cancel on these like I literally was like like you were sabotaging your body

it was like I didn't know how I would do it you know what I mean like body's like we're not gonna let you do it then yeah like it's crazy and then the second time around was a huge wake-up call because I found out that I had lost the baby but my body was still pregnant and I had to show up and shoot a wedding the next day ah oh my gosh and so I had to pretend like I was the happy you know the happy wedding photographer yeah and so when I look at those losses they were massive teachers in my life but by the time I was pregnant for the third time, I had built a life where I was able to move and I wasn't tied to anything and I had no clients to answer to. And I had built that. And so there's this quote that I heard from a preacher and it's

like, sometimes the season of waiting is just as important as what it is that we're waiting for. I think a lot of people find themselves in seasons of waiting and it's really easy to want to like twiddle your thumbs and just sit there, right? Like just wait and wait and wait. But I think we waste it. And it's like, I worked while I waited. And I don't mean like I hustled. I worked towards the life I wanted for when the time came. And it was so evident when it happened. That's inspiring. It's a crazy story. And it's one that I don't tell often. And there's a line in my book that says like, okay, I know this story is wild, but like you don't have to move zip codes to start living more into yourself. One of the things I realized after that vision was my vision was jeans and a white linen shirt.

And I looked down and I was wearing sweatpants and like a college T-shirt. And I was like, you know what? Maybe I just start putting on the jeans. Maybe I don't have the baby and the pancakes and the Persian rug. But maybe I can just start dressing the way that I would dress if I was vibrant and alive and healthy. Maybe I just take a tiny step of becoming. I can't control the outcome of having a baby, but I can control showing up as a more vibrant version of myself right now. Absolutely. You said during the season, the dark season, that it's hard to think about

this is all happening for a reason, right? What do you think we can think about during a dark season? If someone deals with anything dark in their life, how should they be processing or thinking about it as opposed to, oh, well, maybe this is happening for a reason. I don't think that, yeah, I agree. I don't think that language is helpful when you're in it, right? Right.

Because there are so many tragedies and things that shouldn't happen or that you shouldn't have to experience. There's this line in my book that talks about grief because we talk about it. And it says that a lot of times people want to move on from grief. You're waiting for life to feel normal again. You're waiting to feel like yourself. And I say grief isn't something that we're meant to move normal again. You're waiting to feel like yourself. And I say grief isn't something that we're meant to move on from. It's something we're meant to move with. We're meant to pick it up and carry it with us, even if we're inching forward. Like we're getting stronger because of the things we've been through. You're not meant to come out on the other side of grief the same person you were when you went into it, right?

Like, what a wasted opportunity for tragedy. And in my life, loss has probably been my greatest teacher, right? Like, I look at those, like, lost pregnancies, and I'm like, they were, like, somehow, like, looking out for me. And it doesn't mean that it wasn't hard or that I literally think about those babies every single day. But if I wasted that and like didn't use it, that would be a real loss. That's the tragedy. What was the habit or the switch from one year to the next that started to bring in more abundance financially?

Not in an incremental 20%, but it was like, boom, this was 5X, 10X. What was that habit or mindset shift for you that started to develop more income? So there's like the science and the art kind of both sides. So like the science side is just the leverage. So the amount of money you make is proportional to the amount of leverage you employ in your life. And so four types of leverage. This is not mine. This is Naval Ravikant's, but I'll just the leverage. So the amount of money you make is proportional to the amount of leverage you employ in your life.

And so four types of leverage. This is not mine. This is Naval Ravikant's, but I'll just say that. So you've got labor. I use four Cs because it's easier for me to remember. He says labor. I say collaboration. So funny that you said that earlier.

But it's just getting other people to basically use their time for your cause. The second level of leverage is other people's money, is getting people to invest in your thing. And then the next two are, so these two are permissionless, the first ones. Like you need to get someone's permission to work for you, and you get someone's permission to give you their money. The other two are permissionless, so you can do them on your own. One is media, which is what you have here, because the cost of making one video and having one person see it versus a million people see it is the same cost, right? And then the other is code, right? So I say content and code. So those are my four Cs. The cost of making one video and having one person see it versus a million people see it is the same cost. Yeah. Right? And then the other is code.

Right? So I say content and code. So those are my four Cs. So collaboration, capital, content, code. And those are not binaries. It's not am I using other people? Am I not using other people? It's to what extent am I using other people?

Do I use other people's money? Yes or no? No. It's how much of other people's money am I using? And so each of these are continuums, not binaries. So like somebody could just use other people's money and I using? And so each of these are continuums, not binaries. So like somebody could just use other people's money and be a billionaire because of the extent they use it. But those are the types of leverage that exist.

And so as my income went up, it was by proportion of the amount of leverage I was employing. Really? How are you? What of these four were you leveraging the most? So in the beginning, I had no leverage because I was an employee. Right. I was using my own time. The next thing that I started doing was I became self-employed, right? So I had a little online training business that I started in between my quitting my job and, and starting the gym. Um, and so when I started the gym,

I started getting labor was the first people. Yeah. Not a lot of it, but I got some of it. And so that gave me that first next year I went from part-time interns. Yeah. Five, I went from $5,000 a month to I I think, about $30,000 a month. So that was the big jump. It was just I had a team. I made a small team, but I had a team, right? Now, that's overall in revenue. That's not your take on this. No, exactly.

That's in sales. You might have been losing money or whatever. Yeah, right. I was probably making $20,000 a month at that point. For yourself? Yes, for me. After expenses and team and everything. Yeah, that was then.

And then- What did that feel like going from five to 20? Did that make you feel something different? Was there a shift inside of you when you took that action? Because for me, when I started this, it was all about vanquishing my father. So it was all about, I was Middle Eastern father, only child. So like I was raised by a single dad. It's just me and him.

That was it for the vast majority of my life. And so he's Middle Eastern, came here with a thousand dollars became a doctor he was a doctor came here learned english from watching television you know what i mean has the american success story absolutely that's amazing and so i was born here though speaking another language too french was my first actually there's a whole story around it but anyways but yeah french is your yeah how many languages you speak that's the best one i i'll just leave it at that. But all of it was about making him proud, right? So that's what you did.

You set out to do that. That's what I was trying to do. And then I think that throughout my adolescence, I realized that it was something that was always going to be withheld from me. So it didn't matter what it was. The goalpost would always move so that- He would never be proud enough.

Right. And it was because he wanted the most out of me. And so if I got, let's say, a 99 on a test, it wasn't just, and it was because he wanted the most out of me. And so like, if I got, let's say, you know, a 99 on a test, it wasn't congratulations. It's what'd you get wrong. Oh man. Right. And there was always what it was. That's okay. Like I'm, we're cool. I'm very happy with my life. Yeah. And I realized that. And so this desire to gain approval turned into a very deep anger.

And so towards the world, yourself other people mostly him mostly him And most like him and myself probably split probably 50 50, you know And and so it was like my earlier. I'll say quote success was purely Fueled by rage like it wasn't it wasn't like it was it was rage. You know what I mean? I was in the same boat Yeah and it was like and I but there was probably some element of me that's like Almost enjoyed the suffering because in it like I just would get in the space When when you ask like how did I feel? Yes by getting the extra 20,000 a month

first my goal was to Make as much as my dad and then it was to make more than my dad And then it was to make more than my dad. And then it was to make more than my dad had ever made in his whole life. And so once I had done that, the, the, I wanted the success to be unquestionable. Like it couldn't, there couldn't be a, but there couldn't be an asterisk. It had to be so undeniable that, that vanquishing was the word, right? And so for a five-year period after I quit my job, my dad did not support. He didn't support me quitting my job.

Why not? Even though you were off making money and building a business? Because he didn't, he's like, what are you, a gym owner? He's like, you went to Vanderbilt. You were on a management consulting career. You got above Harvard's mid-score for your GMATs. You could have had an incredible career. Of course.

Gym owner doesn't sell well on cocktail parties. He's figuring himself out. He's doing this little gym as a side thing. Yeah, he'll snap out of it. I made plenty of mistakes too when I had the gym. It wasn't all sunshine and rainbows for me. I had a lot of mess-ups that I did. I got in bad partnerships.

All the things that you could possibly do. And over that five year period of me scaling to six locations with my, with my facilities, um, at the end of that whole thing, I ended up losing it all. Really? Yeah. Lost everything. Six locations, lost the whole business. Well, I sold it. I sold five of them. I shut one of them down. Um, cause I wanted to start doing this gym launch thing, which would be like flying around doing turnarounds. Because I started doing it. That's when I met Layla. You find a gym that's kind of like not succeeding.

And you fly in. And you do a makeover. Exactly. Bar rescue, same thing. Same exact thing. Wow. You should have done a TV show with it. Believe me.

The many regrets I have. That would have been an awesome one. We did 32 turnarounds. Wow. It was almost two years. And so we started doing that. And anyways, I lost everything because I took all the sale money and I put it into my last location. And then the partner that I had there siphoned the money out.

Because I was like, yeah, I'll put all the money from the sale of these gyms into this thing. It doesn't matter. It was my own mistake. It was on me. But it was, even then it was, you know, we'll see, you know, we'll see how long, like this isn't real. Like we'll see. And then once I started, once gym watch really started taking off, it wasn't until I think we did like 17 million in EBITDA, like profit take home, um, in one year, in one year that my dad, I was 27. That's crazy.

My, my dad, my dad called me and he's like, are you sitting down? I remember like at this point, like we were like not talking too much. You know what I mean? Maybe every few months it'd be like a five minute phone call. And so I was like, sure. Yeah. I got time. What's up? He's like, you're going to want to hear this. And I was like, okay, what? He's like, I'm sorry. And it was the first time he'd ever apologized to me in my life. And what's interesting to me, though, is that it didn't feel like anything. I didn't care. Why not? Because I had stopped caring about what he thought about me a long time ago.

And it was like when I quit my job was the day that I accepted dying to my father. Wow. Because very much to me at that point was I was really, really sad at that point in my life when I had the job. Because I had really done everything that he had wanted me to do. I finished Vanderbilt in three years as president of fraternity. I had won writing awards. I'd done like a bunch, like I'd done everything. You know what I mean? I was vice president of the powerlifting team. Like every club, all the stuff I could possibly do. Yeah. While still being president and did it in three years. Right. And got a management consulting job that was like a good job, had all the credibility. And it just I knew it wasn't enough. And I knew that. And so I knew that the choice for me was that I either had to die to him or I had to die to myself. Wow. And that was ultimately like the choice that that I put in front of myself. And that was whenever I was like, maybe I should just get, I was like, die to him or die to you. And so that was what gave me the, the, the, the confidence to, to break

that. And then I physically moved because I couldn't be in the same area. So I actually, you were 23 at this point? Yeah. So I called my dad when I was like in Ohio and I'm from Baltimore. So I'm like, how, how strong from, it was for you. I called him when I was there and I was like, Hey, by the way, I'm doing the gym thing. And he was like, okay. He's like, why don't you come over? We'll talk about it. Cause he knew, cause he knew that like, if he came over with enough battering, I would be like, fine. I know this is smart thing. I'll take the, you know, I'll apply to, you know, Booth and Harvard or whatever. And I'll get the, I'll do that whole thing. And that, cause that was a cycle. cycle I just kept doing that and I was just like no

I'm not gonna do it so I was like well I can't I'm in Ohio he's like what do you mean and then the tone totally shifted and he was like you always do these crazy things and you're like he's like you've never balanced it's always extreme with you there's no middle path blah blah and so anyways I you know I did that five years gyms lost it all anyways and then started gym lunch and then that's when and then that really took off. Sure. And then but when he called me and he apologized and this is where I like, you know, I'm ashamed of myself, but like I could have just let it lie and been like, thanks, appreciate it.

You know, what do you instead? Instead, I said, I was like, you know, when people get up on stage and they're like, hey, you know, they get awards and they're like, hey, mom and dad, I just want to say thanks so much for always believing me. I was like, I won't say that. Oh, my gosh. I was like, because you never did. I was like, the only time you accepted me, I was like, is once every other person on this planet had accepted it, too. Oh, my gosh, man.

And so that's. So I said that. That's intense. On the phone, he said that? What do you say to that? He said, well, we'll see how long it lasts. Oh, my gosh. So that was. So he say to that? He said, well, we'll see how long it lasts. Oh my gosh. So that was...

So he was still kind of in competition with you. Yeah. And to be fair, when he apologized, he said, you know, I'm sorry. He said, but in my defense, if it had been in my time, I would have been right. And so, you know, but all that to say, like, I should have just said, like, appreciate the apology. You know, thank you. Thank you. Because, you know, Tony Robbins said something that I thought was really impactful was like, for the vast majority of my life, it's been like, how my father shaped me or whatever. But rather than thinking like, what, what can I use from this dynamic? Like, what gift do I have? Yeah, like from his mother, kind of like beating him or whatever. Yeah, exactly. Like, what do I, like, what do I, you know, they're blaming for the good. Right. And so like, I have so many things to blame for good from that. And I'm very, very happy with my life. That is why $20,000 a month didn't feel significant to me because the goal that I had, my expectations weren't to make money. My expectation was that I had to make more than he had ever made. And so I had a very big vacuum to drive towards, which I think in a lot of ways was a gift because like I blew past a hundred thousand a month, 500,000 a month, million a month. Like I blew past those things because

like it was never about having enough money for me. It was about feeding this monster. But once I got there, I realized that what I had done was set up a game to win by my father's rules. And so then I- And you could never win. Right. And to be fair, would I want to win a game that wasn't for me? And it was making you suffer. Sure. You're playing the wrong game. I'm playing his game. And so I did win, but I wanted his game, not mine. Right, right. And so that was kind of what I think making that realization was kind of the slow shift that happened from there. So when you won the financial game or the game of like, I've made more than you in a month or a year than you've made your whole lifetime.

How did that make you feel? And when did you realize you needed to start playing a different game? And what would that game become? Okay. There was three questions there. What was the first one? How did it make you feel the moment you crossed the finish line of the game of making so much more than you'd ever made in a short amount of time? Relief because we actually got our relationship back.

Not like, you know, I wouldn't say we have like sunshine and rain, but like we have a functioning relationship. I would say it's role based. Like I'm a, you know. Yes. But what happened was we are both very like strong personalities. And it wasn't until I think that he accepted me as off in our relationship that we were able to kind of like move forward again.

Because before that, my, because my dad's, he's a doctor. So he's always had, you know, like decent money. And I wanted to be beholden to no one, you know what I mean? Including him. Like I didn't want his money. I didn't want anything, you know. And so I think I had to establish my own, I had to like really plant my own flag to be seen as a man in his eyes. And so I think once

that happened, I think I thought there was some level of like, there's no conflict here anymore. And that wraps up our special side hustle episode brought to you by TikTok Shop. With the right mindset, your side hustles can become more than just a side hustle. They can grow into full careers. I've seen it happen with my own eyes for my own life and others, and I know you can do it too. The fact that you've listened to this entire episode tells me you're doing your research and already taking the right steps to pursue your dreams, so keep it up. Thousands of small businesses and huge brands like Barstool Sports, Otterbox, and L'Oreal Paris are already on the platform. Brands can develop a lasting relationship

with an exploding community of users who are already talking about your products on TikTok. There's no requirement for the number of followers needed to set up your TikTok shop account. Get started now and visit TikTokshop.com slash podcast to discover more. That's T-I-K-T-O-K shop.com slash podcast. Huge thanks to TikTok shop for supporting this show.