The School of Greatness - Hack Your Mindset To Overcome Life's Challenges & Find The Positive w/ Inky Johnson EP 1279

Episode Date: June 13, 2022

Husband, father, collegiate athlete, entrepreneur and author, Inky Johnson is one of the most highly sought after speakers in the world. For over a decade, executives, professional sports teams, business owners and people all over have benefited from the raw energy of his thought provoking and inspirational presentations. Inky was a three year letterman and two year captain on the football team at The University of Tennessee, where he started as a cornerback. Unfortunately, on September 9th, 2006, he sustained a life threatening, career ending injury that paralyzed his right arm and hand. From that day to present day Inky has had a burning desire to use his situation and experiences to add value to peoples' lives. In this episode you will learn:How to extract the positive from adversity.How your attitude can drive your performance.How to enjoy every aspect of life.How to manage all of the different emotions that come from painful experiences. For more, go to lewishowes.com/1279Ed Mylett on Developing Superhuman Levels of Self-Confidence: https://link.chtbl.com/1274-podScooter Braun On Healing Past Trauma, Building A Business Empire & Finding Peace: https://link.chtbl.com/1244-podLisa Bilyeu on Defying Social Norms and Becoming Who You Were Always Meant to Be: https://link.chtbl.com/1265-pod

I'll get to it tomorrow. I'm like, who promised you that, right? I'll get to it a month from now. I'm like, who promised you that? Because life changes so quick, right? And as people, we're often arrogant. I was one of them. We live our lives and we feel as if we're promised something, right? But when you think about it, it's like... Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, a former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin. I want to bring your message to my audience. So for those that don't know, can you share a brief story about

your background from athlete to, you know, breakdown to then breakthrough and what, and what, what actually you grew up believing and dreaming in what happened and then where you're at now, man, a kid that grew up inner city, Atlanta, a mom at 16 had me, Santa, mom at 16 had me, took me back to 125 Warren, two bedroom home, 14 people. And me and my cousins, man, we grew up sleeping on the floor, pallets, you know, best time of my life. You know, we loved it. Right. But like any other kid, man, I had a dream, you know, and I felt as if at the time football was the quickest vehicle to get me in a space and place to help my family. Right. My mother's working a double shift at Wendy's. My grandmother's sweetest soul ever. Rest in peace. She's transitioned. But I wanted to help my family.

And I felt as if I had the tools and the skills to do that. And I had a lot of people in my life that helped me, man. And so I was I was the first in my family a lot. I was the first one to graduate and go to college. You know, I was the first one that looked as if I had something really promising that was about to happen. And so when I went to college, University of Tennessee, a full football scholarship, you know, everybody back where I was from, you know, thought like, hey, man, Lil Ink, he's about to be the guy. He's the ticket. He's about to make it like that's our guy. That's all they used to talk about. My family members, that's all they talked about in church. All they talked about my former high school, Creme High School was one of the lowest performing public schools in the state of Georgia when I attended. Right. Atlanta public school system.

in the state of Georgia when I attended, right? Atlanta public school system. And so everybody thought like, hey man, this cat is about to really make it from where we come from. And I thought the same thing. And I got really close to making that NFL dream happen. And I went to make a routine tackle September 9th, 2006 against the University of Air Force

and almost lost my life. And it ended my career and it paralyzed my right arm and hand. And it sent my life down a totally different path to which the world have come to know me as the inspirational speaker and a servant that I am today. But at one point, I thought it was going to be this guy in the NFL playing ball until I retired. You and me both, man. Until an injury ended mine as well. So you had a routine tackle. You're playing DB, defensive back, routine tackle. Do you remember exactly what happened? I do, man. What was it like? Was it on the left side, right side of the field? Was it a run? Was it a pass play?

What was this? Yeah, man, it was on the left side of the field. And it's crazy. I remember it vividly, man. We was in quarters coverage. You know, I was just backpedaling as a corner. Zone. Yeah, we had a quarter of the field, zone, pretty much.

And when I went to hit this guy, you know, it was almost like they were in a wheel route. You know, guy came out of the backfield, turning up. Five yards out, then coming up. Yeah, coming up the field. And, you know, I'm looking at the quarterback. He's tapping it, releases it to him. And I'm thinking I'm about to hit him, maybe make him fumble. We can end this thing, get ready for Florida the next week.

Two minutes left. And as soon as I hit him, it seemed as if, Lewis, everything in my body left. Like one of the scariest moments of my life. And I had been in a lot harder collisions, but it seemed as if as soon as I hit him, everything in my body, every breath just left. I had never felt that before. It's like I lost total control over my body. I hit the ground and I black out. Never experienced that before, right? And when I came to, it was very quick. When I came to, my teammates were running over,

like, Ink, get up, let's go. And I was like, I can't. And they was like, what do you mean you can't? You always get up, man. You're captain, let's go. Nurse your injury after the game. I was like, I can't move. And it was a shock.

I'll never forget. It was going from the crown of my head to the bottom of my feet. I couldn't feel anything. All the way through the body. Yeah, all the way through. It just kept going, kept going, kept going. And then it left, but it stayed in my right arm and hand. So left in your body where you could feel and you could move your legs, you could move your arm, but not the right side.

Right. And it stayed there, but I thought it was a stinger. Sure. No, we get stingers playing ball. Yeah, yeah, you get a dead arm, you get a stinger, and it stays there but i thought it was a stinger sure now we get a dead arm yeah you get dead arm you get a stinger and it stays for a while then it leaves and so that's what i thought it was and so i still wasn't panicky right after it happened i was like maybe a stinger you know maybe i broke my arm you know because they brought the spine board out put me on it wheel me off the field because at that point you could stand up a little bit or you could move, but.

Yeah, yeah, I could move my body. I just couldn't move my arm, you know. And so they were like, we're going to take you to the hospital, you know. So then I thought maybe it's a broken arm. You weren't too worried about it still. No, no, I wasn't. I wasn't worried. Because your body was, you could move your neck.

Absolutely. So I wasn't worried. They get me over. They run their test. And they bring me back into a room and everything is still loose. You know, everything is loose. My mom comes in, kissing me on my forehead, cracks a joke. I think everything is all good. You'll be fine. It's football. And she goes to exit the room. And when she exits the room, I'll never forget.

She made a left when she made the left. I flipped my head back to the left. the room I'll never forget she made a left when she made the left I flipped my head back to the left when I flipped my head back to the left I saw the head doctor and he was running in and he was kind of you know screaming you know at an elevated tone and he was like guys guys get in here we got to rush this kid back to emergency surgery and he's about to die and I was thinking like it was talking about you or someone else talking about me But I was thinking like everything was so calm and cool. I'm thinking he's joke like not joking, but like I'm thinking he's messing with me. Right. Because everything had been so calm. And so I was like, like, Dada, like, wait for me to die.

It was like, yeah, I was like, what happened? And he was like, we ran the test. We noticed you've ruptured your subclavian artery in your chest and you're bleeding internally. Oh. And he said, we got to rush you back and take the main vein out of your left leg and plug it into your chest in order to save your life. Holy cow.

Yeah. And he said, oh, I guarantee you, you won't be alive in the morning. You'll bleed out. And that's when I was like, oh, it's a real situation. It's a real situation. So you were fairly calm. Maybe you were frustrated that you got injured. You didn't get to finish the game.

You're like, oh, this sucks. Hopefully I can get back next week or something, and they'll be able to tape me up and put up a bandage, and I'll get out there with one arm, and I'll be fine. You know how the boys think. Of course, man. But then he was like, oh, no, we need to do the surgery now, or you may not last.

Yeah, absolutely. Holy cow, that's a big shock. That was a shocker, man. So what, how much time from that moment until surgery? Oh, they took me back right then. Yeah. Put the gas mask in. Oh, they went, they went to work right then. Like five, 10 minutes. Oh yeah. It was real. They start doing whatever they had to do then. Like they had to do it right then. Yeah. Yeah. She was there, but she was waiting out. Like they told her, but they had to take me back right then. Cause they said it was already ruptured and I was already bleeding internally.

Did she get to say anything before the surgery or no? I'm sure she said something, but at that point, I was like, I couldn't believe it. Like, that's when everything got kind of concerning. Isn't it crazy? One moment can change the direction of your life. Oh, no question. One instant. No question, man. One slight can change the direction of your life. Oh, no question. One instant. No question, man.

One slight turn, one hit, one breath could change everything. Yeah, man. And I, you know, that's affected and impacted even the way that I live my life until this day. Just not only the injury, but it's so many parts of the injury that shaped my perspective until this day. I always say to people, because they say to me all the time, like, man, did you do anything different? Did you wear any different pads? Did you warm up different? Right? And I'm like, no, man, I did the same thing. I listened to the same pregame music, like my song, Phil Collins. I can feel it. That's my joint. I'm like, man, I listened to the same song, wore the same pads.

But for some reason, on September 9th, 2006, on that day, the outcome of something that I did for most of my life was totally different. Right. And so I always ask people and challenge people. Like when you say something to the extent of not you, but just a person, I'll get to it tomorrow. I'm like, who promised you that? Right. I'll get to it a month from now. I'm like, who promised you that? Right. Because light changes so quick. Right. And as people, we're often arrogant. I was one of them. We live our lives and we feel as if we're promised something. Right. But when you think about it's like when we try to control things.

But when you really think about the macro of life in the grand scheme of life we really don't have any control right we can control what we possess emotions attitude thought process perspective how we speak how we respond but just life in general we have no control of that right you think about how many people woke up this morning thinking like man everything is going to be great and life changed, right? One day you wake up on top of the world. Next day you wake up, world is on top of you, right? And so it's affected my mentality and my perspective just toward life, how I greet people, how I see people, how I interact, right? Just that one moment and one element of the injury, right? It's so many things that's happened inside of the injury that shaped and molded me as a person.

People see the injury. People don't always think about the intricacies of how it shaped and molded and cultivated who I am as a man until this day. Yeah. So how long did it take for you when you had the surgery and woke up

to get to a place of peace and finding a purpose or a new identity. Because I know what it's like to lose the identity of being an athlete in a moment. I broke my right wrist and had surgery and had six months in a cast and tried to come back from it, but realized, oh, I couldn't straighten my arm

for about a year and a half after the surgery and the cast so it wasn't as devastating as you obviously of an injury but the injury and the surgery took me out of the thing i loved absolutely identity and i was in a dark place for i don't know probably a year and a half yeah trying to figure out who am i you know where's my value if i can't be this thing absolutely and where i got of my acknowledgement and praise from this one thing that I can no longer do anymore. It's like, well, am I good enough for life? You know, what's the value I can bring and contribute to the world? So how long did it take for you from that surgery to what did they say when you woke up?

What was that next step? I would say the total process took me a little bit over two years just to get to a real place of just peace acceptance and just trying to figure life out you still didn't know your purpose or what you wanted to do but you're just like trying to recover absolutely maybe i can get the function back maybe i can do this you know it's that bravado man you think that i'll come back'm going to come back. Yeah, you're going to come back. That's the athlete's mentality. You think you can come back from anything.

And so even, you know, when I woke up and they were telling me that your career is probably over, your arm and hand will probably never be the same again. Because the medical term for my injury is a brachial plexus avulsion. And I ruptured my subclavian artery. is the brachial plexus avulsion and I ruptured my subclavian artery. And so the brachial plexus is basically the nerve roots that come from our spine that control shoulder, arm, hand, fingers. And so what happened at the point of contact, the guy's helmet hit me between my shoulder and my neck, sent my neck one way, shoulder opposite way, and it ruptured the nerves from my spine that control arm, hand, fingers, shoulder. And so I ruptured also my subclavian artery from just the speed and the impact. And so when they were telling me this, I'm like, no way.

Like I work too hard, man. I've been working for this since I was a kid. And now I get to the point to where I could possibly get drafted. And now I lose it all. I'm like, no, man. And so I went back to the sandpit that week, right? The next week I was in the sandpit with my teammates with a Dunjoy sling and a Velcro strap with staples in my body from incisions from surgery, right? I was back in the indoor complex running. Oh, right. Running? Yeah, man. With this false sense of hope that you're to come back. Yeah, man. I'm a comeback. Like I'm a train. I'm a comeback. He's thinking that like, nah, man, I can't I can't lose it that quick.

I can't lose it that quick. One little hit. Yeah. Like now I've been putting in years where I can't lose it that quick. That was my thought process. And so I didn't have peace at first because it was almost surreal. I remember going to sleep early, like every day, like 6 p.m., 7, right? Thinking that when I wake up in the morning, I'll be able to feel my arm again. Really? Yeah. Thinking that, man, like when I wake up, I'll be able to feel my arm. And I would wake up, man, and I would touch my arm, touch my hand. Like, man, I still can't feel it. Couldn't feel anything. No sensation.

Couldn't feel nothing. Even on the skin, nothing. Couldn't feel anything. Even in my back at the time. Like it was more places than the arm at first. It was like back, part of my pec. And so I would go to sleep early thinking it was a bad dream. I just couldn't come to grips with that I could just lose it like that.

And so, man, I would wake up and touch that arm. And every day it would be like a period to where I would be like, man, I can't feel it. But I'm going to go to work out. I'm going to go to work out. Right. I'm going to go to train and say I'm on a Smith machine or one arm, right? Lifting, squatting, thinking that I'll be able to make a comeback, man. And I'll never forget. I broke down on the turf in the indoor when reality set in. Like one day it set in and I, I cried, man. I was in the indoor facility.

I was on the turf and I was like, man, I'll probably never get to play again. Like, really? And that day was, it was tough on one end of the spectrum because it was like, man, the reality of I probably won't be able to play again. But on the opposite end of the spectrum, it's it was a level of freedom right that okay man release it like get it out stop holding on to it yeah stop holding on to it just get it out man and so it was it was an interesting situation when that happened right like on one end of i was crying i was hurt but on the opposite end of it it was a level of freedom like okay man now it's time to turn the page and let's move forward yeah yeah so how much longer was that

was like a couple weeks a month after now that was when when i came to that that reality that was closing in on the two years two years later when you weren't moving along because two years was the time frame that they gave me to that if something within is to happen if something is to come back after that like a two year yeah you got like two years you know if something is going to happen and so i'm in this two-year window thinking like oh man i'm two, I'm going to get stronger. I'm going to get sharper. My IQ is going to increase. It was all this thought process of just I'm going to just come back this machine. Right. But also realizing I'm going through the two years and I'm going to doctor's visits. And now when I think back on it, I can see it. back on it, I could see it. I see when I go into doctor's visits at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota, and they would have a new device and they would try it and think, man, this is the one, Inc. I remember seeing a doctor cry one day, right? Cry. Cry, man, because it didn't work.

No way. And I had become like close with him, right? Because I'm going to see him like every other week. Like we're cool now, right? He's thinking, well, we're going to see him like every other week like we're cool now right he's thinking well we're gonna figure out a way to get you back they wanted to work too not even for the sake of ball I think some quality of life right in terms of with my arm and my hand and I'll never forget doctor walking out and he was crying and he said man we wanted to work and I was like man I do too but now thinking about that moment and what he must have been feeling at the time I'm totally just locked in right and so I'm just thinking like man like he's feeling what I'm feeling but I'm still not thinking I won't be able to play but now removed from it years later I know exactly what he was feeling He saw me every single day coming here with this false sense of hope like man this kid wanted to work I wanted to work for him, but not even work

Oh, man, he felt it right, but I still didn't catch it because I was so so focused. It's gonna happen Yeah, but he knew he knew far knew far before I got to that point. He knew, like, ah, man, I don't know when it's going to set in. But, man, I don't know when he's going to get it, you know. And I came to that point, man. Two years later. Yeah, I came to it. How do you let go of an identity that you once were that you can no longer be?

Yeah, man. It's that's a great question, man. And especially for us as athletes or former athletes, because we all tie. And I think everybody to a certain extent with what we do, because if you ask a person, hey, man, who are you? But we do, because if you ask a person, hey, man, who are you? They're going to tell you what they do. Yeah. Right. Because their identity most of the time is wrapped up in what they do. And so for athletes, it's heavy. Right. That identity crisis of, man, I play ball. I do this. Right. And so when you've got to transition into another period or sector in life, it's sometimes hard to understand because you don't always get that same feeling. And so when guys have to do it or when I had to do it, it was tough just trying to figure out what am I going to do, right? Because I've done this for so long and this was the thing that I

thought was going to help my family. And so I'm big on service, right? Because a lot of people helped me and my family coming up. And I'll never forget, man, I got to share this. I would go to Habitat for Humanity because people would help me and my family coming up. And so I just love the looks that it will put on people's faces. When I was at Tennessee, they would always have a project for us to do. Whenever I would go, people would always say, hey, man, what happened to your arm? Right? Because they would see the at atrophy this arm is naturally smaller than my left and so I would just be like oh man just a football injury and somebody would always be somebody there would be like no what happened right like I know your arm didn't get like that from just like what happened I'd be like just a tackle man I was making a tackle hurt my arm they would keep pressing the issue and I would answer questions. And when we would leave, somebody would always say, hey man, you might need to speak. You might need to share that. I'll be like, no, I'm cool. Right. Because my mother raised me like from the standpoint and perspective of, hey man, life don't owe you a thing. Right. Like, okay, something happens to

you, pick up the pieces, move forward. And so I never thought of anything that happened, anything I went through in my family like as anything special. Everybody got a story. That's how I view life. Everybody done been through something. Right. Everybody's going to encounter something. And so I never looked at speaking, sharing. I never was the guy like, oh, man, this happened to me. Let me go share with the world. I was like, no, I ain't figure it out. out like pick up the pieces move forward and figure it out and so when people would say this I'll be like nah I'm not trying to speak like I don't want to speak right and one day I was in a small group because I was connected to community that was one of the things I did intentionally when I got injured.

I was like, man, I need community. I need to be connected to whether it's spiritually, whether it's like groups. I need to be connected. And it was a guy. Shout out to my guy, Gus. Older guy, like in his 70s. I got a couple of restaurants, East Tennessee, had him in Atlanta. Sold them, did really well in life life we're in a small group one

night discussing some things and he says uh man you're selfish i was like me like no man i'm probably one of the most unselfish people you know he was like no man like you're selfish you think your injury and what happened to you is just about you i was like it happened to me he's like no but you're thinking it's just about you i was like it happened to me he's like no ain't he's like the things we go through in life man they're not just for us right once we get to a place of peace and we figure out how to deal with it it's our responsibility to go out and share that right it's like not before the world all the time but just to share it because other people go through things right other people are fighting just go out and share it and that was the first time i had got hit with something

to where i pondered it right to where i was like make a night make a nice point yeah yeah a good point and uh i was getting invitations to speak at the time. School assembly, you know, backyard stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Birthday party. And I got the feeling, Lewis. I got the same feeling that I was getting in the tunnel. And I was in Neyland.

I got it. I got it. Right? And I'll never forget when I got it. I felt it and I captured it. I was like, this might be it. Right. And I'll never forget when I got it. I felt it and I captured it. I was like, this might be it. And I spoke. Did well. Got home. And I'll never forget thinking like, man, like. I might need to look more into this. I might need to be more intentional about this. Right. Then I meet a guy in Westtown Mall in Knoxville.

Me and Eric Berry. Eric went first round fifth pick to the Chiefs he did a signing me and Eric walk in Eric splits off to go to his car I'm walking a gentleman comes running through the mall stops a couple of feet away from me balling grown man crying and he says thank you I was like no disrespect sir. What are you thanking me for? He's like I saw your story on the news he said I got a wife and I got three daughters and He said when I watched your story you made humor about what happened to you He said I was about to leave my wife and my three daughters

He said I said man if that guy can hang in there he can fight with what he's dealing with surely I can hang in there and I can fight for my wife and my three daughters and he just walked off wow that's powerful and bro it it made me realize that like I always say to people man like when we go through things in life the first thing we try to do is understand it. We want to know, why am I going through this? Why did this happen to me? I'm like, nah, man, some things you're going to go through is going to be so tough you're not going to understand it right away.

Just survive it. Right? And once we survive it, then we get to a place of peace. Hopefully we understand it. But then it's time to go out, share it, try to add value to certain environments we go into and certain people's lives. So shortly after that two years, I felt like I had survived it and I got to a place of peace to where it was like, all right, let's move forward. That's powerful, man.

I think for a lot of people listening, it's hard to understand why something has happened to them. Absolutely. Why did I go through this breakup? Why did I get fired from this thing? Why did I have this injury? Why did, is this happening in the world? Why are people fighting with each other?

Why? Absolutely. And it's not until we can get through it and reflect on it, then we have hindsight. Oh, this taught me this lesson, or here's why this needed to happen, or. Yeah. And now I think about, if I look back at my life, I'm 39 now, and I think about all the challenging moments,

I wouldn't change any of them. There's some things that seem so painful that I didn't want to experience, but the lesson that I learned from them, the person I became by overcoming them is so much more powerful than not having them. Wow. Right. Absolutely. That's how I feel. And so when challenging things happen, which I don't like when they happen, but it's not fun, man. It's not fun. It doesn't feel good. It doesn't feel good. But when challenging things happen now, I feel like I can put myself in a place of peace for moments and say everything that has been hard in the past has all worked out. And it's taught me something or it's let go of something in my life, even if it's the worst thing ever seeming to me. And I'm grateful for them all. So let me look into the future and have hindsight in the future

and start realizing, I don't know why this is going to be powerful, but I'm going to give this meaning. It's going to help me or help someone else in the future because I'm learning this lesson. And that has given me peace in the chaos. Doesn't mean I like the chaos.

I'm not looking for it. I don't want it. Stay away from me. But I feel like that strategy has given me a sense of like, okay, this eventually will pass. And hopefully I'll have some tools and knowledge based on that. That's good, man. Do you wish, do you ever think about it and wish you would have tackled differently? Or are you grateful with everything that's happened the way it's happened? You know, to be honest, man, somebody comes up to me almost every week and say to me, like, be honest, man, you said you

wouldn't change what happened to you. Like, be honest. Like, you said you wouldn't change what happened to you. Why? Right? Because for most people, when they look at adversity and opposition, if a person goes through something that's traumatic, right? Trauma, whatever the case may be, the average person's perspective is going to go to a space and place. What did you lose? How did it affect you? What did you have to sacrifice? What did you have to give up? People very rarely were asked the question, man, what did you learn from it? What did you gain? What did you gain? Right? How did it make you a better person? I know it didn't feel good. That's obvious.

I know it hurt. Right. I know you didn't like it. It wasn't convenient. But like, what did you gain from it? I just want to know. Right. From the loss, from the pain.

Right. And so for me, it was such a traumatic experience to where I was searching for the good. It was so traumatic. There is no good. It was so traumatic to where I'm like, all right, God, what is this, man? This hurts. I don't like this.

Why did this show up at this point in time? I remember being like, God, just let me make it to the NFL, get the contract, help my family, and then we can go through something like, just let me help my mom, help my grandma, help my cousins. Like when I was a kid, man, I remember saying to my cousins, like if I make it to the league, man, we can get our own beds one day. Right. We just wanted our own beds. Right. Right. And so when it happened, I remember seeing certain things happen. That it caught my attention. Right. But I was so in the midst of what had

happened to me that it just caught my attention. I think the beautiful thing about adversity and opposition, when you live with it, it teaches you, right? If you're open to it, right? When you live with challenges, it teaches you. And so the reason that I wouldn't change what happened to me or go back and even change the incident is because of not only the man that is shaped and molded me into, but the way it's impacted those close to me. Right. My mother, my father, their relationship was fractured. Majority of my life. Yes. Like I'm talking about. Were they living together or no? No, no. Like never. Right. And so they couldn't even. How many kids does your mom have? My mom just got me and my sister.

Yeah. Yeah, and so my dad, he's married, and he has two daughters as well. But when they had me, they were teenagers, right? And so my dad's trying to figure it out. Mom is trying. Young, right? They don't have tools. No, no.

They don't know how to connect with each other or communicate. None of that. Deal with conflict. None of that, man. Act like a child, essentially. That's it. Act like a child, have a child. And so it created a lot of hurt, a lot of resentment on both ends. And so for me, when I started growing up, I had a level of resentment toward my father that I very rarely spoke about. And so I would speak to him and we would be cordial when we got to the point of communication.

For a long time, I resented him. And so my mother and my father could very rarely be in a room and it be peace. Very rarely. When my injury happened, they had to be in a room. It had to be peace because it was a much bigger issue at hand. They didn't know if they were going to have to amputate my arm. They didn't know any of that. Right. But fast forward a bit, what's happened not only

in my life, but in my family's life, it's been phenomenal. Like my mother and my father can be in the same space and place in the same room. Wonderful grandparents. My father came and lived with me for 30 days after my injury under the same roof, helped take me to rehab for my arm, take me to class, wash my clothes, like what it did for our relationship, what it did for my family's relationships, what it did for me and my buddies, my friends, right? my shoes, our connection, what that produced, like it was phenomenal, right? The way it shaped and molded my perspective in my life and how I treat people, right? Not that I was a bad person before because I wasn't. It's just the way that it shaped and molded my perspective and how I view this thing called life every single day, right? Because of what you just spoke about. When you go through something, I asked the guy this this Louis, I was in St. Louis speaking pandemic, one of my live trips during a pandemic. And I said, can somebody tell me something good

that's happened as a result of the pandemic? Lady stands up. She says, my mother lives in Japan. I get to speak to her every single day. I know if I was working the same schedule, I never would have got the opportunity to have those moments. Gentleman stands up in the back of the room. A man looked like he's supposed to have been in the movie 300. Traps up to his ear to my yoked up. Lewis Wright starts bawling and he says, I'm thankful I got to watch my first child being born crying. thankful I got to watch my first child being born crying he said I knew for a fact if I was working the same schedule I never would have got the opportunity to witness that moment he said what's something you're thankful for ink I said man I'm thankful for 3 p.m he said why 3 p.m I said man I

get to raise cats and be the first one in the carpool line right he was like the carpool line really I was like yeah the carpool line I was like but not the carpool line. Really? I was like, yeah, the carpool line. I was like, but not the carpool line. He's like, what you mean by that? I said the carpool line is extremely important. I get to pick my kids up from school most days. Phenomenal. Love it. Right. I said, but more than that, it's about can I condition my mindset and my perspective that when uncertainty happens, opposition happens, adversity happens. I can put my mind, my perspective in a space in place to extract some good. Right. And so with adversity and opposition with my arm, I got a paralyzed right arm and hand. My perspective, my drive, my dedication, my commitment, my essence, my ethos, the thing that makes me ink. It never got paralyzed. That was just my identity in sport. Yes. That's what people knew me by in sport.

But who I am as a man that never got paralyzed. Right. I'm extremely grateful for that. My right arm and hand gets paralyzed. I get to go to disability services and learn how to write my left arm. Like I get to try different things. Right. I get to go up to the Mayo Clinic and my first visit there. I sit down and I come out of a room to where they had just shot four needles in my back Full of dye I'm talking about biggest needles I've ever seen in my life. I sit down. I'm feeling sorry for myself a Little kid had to be 10 years old sits down I don't know what the condition was a mother sits down on one side of her Father sits down on the opposite side of her and it's

like they're holding skin up on her face and i was like man i just got a arm and a hand but i got put in those environments and i got to see that extremely thankful and grateful most people don't get to see things like that on a daily basis. Right. That conditions the mindset and the perspective to look for good in the midst of adversity, opposition, or uncertainty. I tell people all the time, man, the easiest thing in the world to do is to be negative. So easy. Easiest thing in the world to do is complain. Easiest thing in the world to do is to quit. That's easy.

Me and you both can walk out of this building and see something on the streets of L.A. and say, man, that's whack and complain about it. Or we can look at it and say, you know what, man, that's really unfortunate. But if they did this, if they can change this about it, I think that can be a beautiful situation. Yeah, that's a gift and that's a talent that not everybody has. a talent that not everybody has. It's extremely underrated. Extremely underrated. But it's extremely powerful when used

in the right manner. How did you learn to have the positive perspective in the pain and in the trauma? Like, was there someone helping you get out of that? Or did you just flip the switch into that mindset? I would say part of how I grew up when you grow up in that two-bedroom house with 14 people, you don't have a lot of choices in terms of what you're going to eat, you know, how much of it can you get.

Like, I remember watching my mother count change in an old Buick Regal, man. Never forget this. And she was counting up change. She had a few dollars in there and she was trying to get me a pair of cleats. Never forget it. Shaped and molded my perspective at practice, how I practice. Like if you ask any coach that ever happened to you on their team, I bet they'll be like, man, that cat used to practice hard because I remember moments like that. I remember as a kid, my uncles would stand on the corner all night, engaging in their illegal activity, come in the house, take the clothes off that they were on the corner in all night, wearing 2X t-shirt, put it on me. I'm 135 pounds. And I wear it to school the next morning. I remember me and

my cousins coming in there saying, hey, man, y'all just make sure y'all got a lot of T-shirts from the corner store and y'all just change out the jeans. Right. And so I might wear it one day. My other cousin wear it the next day. Other cousin will just be shifting, you know, spinning it around. Right. It shaped my perspective. It made me extremely grateful. I remember Christmas Eve. We got our first pair of Nikes and somebody broke in our house and me and my cousin was going back and forth in the room like, man, I can't wait to wear them Nikes. You're going to race like any other kids, like kids in the streets of L.A., Chicago, Florida, Atlanta. Like we used to race coming up. Right? You race with your boys coming up. We used to race light pole to light pole. We got our first pair of Nikes for Christmas.

We're going room to room. You know what I'm saying? We just talking trash. Man, I can't wait. We're going to race tomorrow. And I'll never forget when we walked in that room and they were gone. Oh, man. And you saw a cat had came through that window.

Hurt, right? First pair of Nikes. Hurt, right? And I'll never forget. My mother called my coach, my little league coach, man, that put me in sports. Got by the name of Trey Hurst. And he showed up the next day and we were sitting on the curb and no people outside with whatever they had for Christmas. And we're sitting there and he drove up and he gets out of the truck and he says, Inc., I'm sorry, man. You know, I got the call late.

And he had like a little brown bag that you get from like a corner store. And he was like, but, you know, I was able to get some stuff, man. This is all I can do at the last minute. And he had drawers and socks in the bag. Right. And I was grateful that my guy showed up. Right. More than what he had in the bag, right? And I was grateful that my guy showed up, right? More than what he had in the bag. I was like, my dude showed up

and my guy still tries to get me drawers and socks till this day on Christmas and I don't even need them, right? Just my dude, you know what I'm saying? But it's moments like that, that you remember, that shape and mold you as a person as you go throughout life.

And I think we all have them, right? We all have these moments, right? Whether it be humility moments, whether it be, you know, moments that keep us grounded. It's just, we choose sometimes to forget them. Yes. But I feel like we all have those encounters that as we navigate and we go and we grow throughout life,

it's those moments that keep us grounded, that makes us remember where we come from, that makes us remember how we've gotten to the points that people know us at, that we look back and we think and we reflect on to where we can say, all right, I got it, right? And so it's those moments. What would you say was the biggest fear or insecurity

that you overcame or needed to overcome since after those two years until now? Was it learning how to do public speaking? Was it learning how to accept yourself and the way you looked? Was it connecting with your boys in a certain way or being perceived as someone who got injured? Was it, what was the fear or insecurity you had to overcome? Man, I would say, um, it's layered. So I want to, so I wanna touch on it. It was extremely difficult when I first started going out with my arm, it was extremely difficult, you know, because-

Were you single at the time, or did you have a girl at the time, or? No, me and my wife, you know, we've been on and off, you know, she's had more patience with me. Yeah, yeah, but at the time you were with her, or on and off with her. Yeah, yeah, on and off, and, but she was always there, man. It was my immaturity. Sure. But, um, you know, my arm, you know, it's just naturally, you know, smaller. And so when I first started

going out sleeve and I would go out and either people would shy away, which would hurt, you know, in the early years or a person would just look right. Like, man, what is that? You know, and very few people would ask, right. When I started going out with my sleeve, very few people would say just in terms of if I'm out in the area, like I'm a habitat for humanity, I'm there with the football team. So it's all good. People are going to come over. But if I'm out in the area, like if I'm at Habitat for Humanity, I'm there with the football team. So it's all good. Like people are gonna come over. But if I'm out like solo, walking through the mall,

very few people would just come up and be like, hey man, what happened? They would just look, right, and just stare. And that was extremely difficult for me for a long time. Right, just thinking about, okay man, like what are they thinking, Right. Or it really hurt when people would just look and they would think I'm looking and they would shy away like that hurt, you know, early on. But I would say the biggest thing that I've had to overcome, like public

speaking, I was fearful of that. But the biggest thing, man, was, um, running from poverty. You know, what I considered to be poverty, man. Because I thought football was going to help my family. And so when I started speaking, I started doing extremely well. You know, I have been for a while with speaking to where I would just go. And I was just trying to accept gigs, gigs, gigs. Make as much as you can. I was just running, right? Just trying to speak. Because I grew up a certain way. And I was like, man accept gigs, gigs, gigs. Make as much as you can. I was just running, right? Just trying to speak.

Because I grew up a certain way. And I was like, man, I don't want my family to have to grow up the way I grew up, my kids, or go back to that environment. And I loved every element of it, right? I loved the encounters with the people. I loved the impact that it gives you. I was just running from my past. And I'll never forget, I was in a small group and a gentleman was walking around in a circle. And he was like, what's something that, you know, you guys feel like in your childhood you're still dealing with or you're running from?

And, you know, everybody would raise their hand and say something. And he got to me and I was like, poverty. And he was like, are you in poverty? I was like, no. He's like, well, stop running. And his simplicity was yet profound, but it was simple. Right. And I thought about it when I got to my room and I'll never forget, Louis, I got a gig and it was one of the biggest gigs I had gotten to date. And they were about to pay me more money. How old were you then? I had gotten. How old were you? I was 36 now. I was probably 30.

Okay. Six years ago. Yeah. You were about to pay your biggest check ever. Yep. Biggest check ever. And I was stoked. And the challenge was it fell on my wife's birthday.

Right? And so I'm like, man. And so, you know, you start working it out in your mind. Oh, man, my wife's birthday right and so like man and so you know you start working it out in your mind oh man my wife's birthday i started negotiating with her i'm negotiating i'm working it out i'm like yeah yeah so when i bring it to her i already done worked it out hey babe this gig you know like i could send you and grandma to the spa. I can come back right after that. We can work. I got it all figured out. Oh, I got it all figured out. And she could see how excited I was. So she was like, oh, yeah, go. Sure. Go. And my wife and my wife been at it since fifth grade.

So she knows me. Go. So I go. It works out. Do the gig. Go. So I go. It works out. Do the gig. I send them to the spa. Fly back the same day. Pick her up.

Everything goes great on the birthday. Two days later, I think it was something about, might have been some socks or something. Something small. Wife blew up. Right? She showed a side to me that I hadn't even seen yet. Right? And I knew exactly what it was like. It clicked immediately.

I was like, that was the gig. I was like, she's blowing up. Not because she's blowing up about the gig. She felt as if I value the opportunity, the engagement and the money over her and her birthday. That was the damage right over the kids, over the family, over that moment, right? And so what I had to do was realize that, man, you got renewable and you got non-renewable moments in life, right? Renewable, you can always make some more money, right? Non-renewable, my wife would never get another 30th birthday. My son would never have another 10th birthday. My daughter would never have another 10th birthday. My daughter never have another 11th birthday. Right. And so my biggest thing that I had to overcome and destroy and grow through

was that spirit and that thought process of running from poverty, something I encountered as a kid. And once I got to a solid space as an adult, you know, every next level of our lives demand a new version of us. Right. Taking that toolkit. Yeah. Reconstructing it. Growing to another level. So I didn't do damage by having the right intentions while doing damage to right intention. I want my family to have a better way of life, but I'm doing damage with the right intention because I'm not growing beyond that level in that thought process. So how do you negotiate? What if you got a hundred thousand dollar gig on her birthday? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you just to say, no, sorry, Nike, man, I can't come and speak.

She might be like, no, we good, go, go, right? We good. Yeah, but man, just trying to communicate, you know, that's a skill that I don't think is man we always get or cultivate, you know. So, but yeah, it worked out. Why do you think so many people hold on to their tragedies or traumas so intently in their present from something that happened 2, 5, 10, 20 years ago? Why do you think people hold on to it so long? years ago? Why do you think people hold on to it so long? I think just the nature of the impact when it happens, right? And how it stuns their life, right? Like I had one of my friends who is a high level coach, division one coach that ended up getting fired and great coach, man, just had a bad run back a couple of years and hit me up and was like, hey, Inc., man, I need you to help me with something.

He said, why am I resisting opportunities to get another head gig? It's like, I love ball. Like, why am I resisting an opportunity? Why am I fearful? and I was like, I'm not saying this is for certain, but I think for one, maybe the embarrassment of being fired and how that made you feel, how that impacted your children, how that impacted your family, because I think painful experiences, they always come with a lot of different emotions, right? Like me talking about going out and it was hard for me with my arm when people would look at me, right? That was a bit embarrassing at first, right? And so sometimes we hold on to these different emotions that attach to the experiences

that we have. So I think you got the experience and then you got the collateral damage of the experience, how it affects our mindset, how it affects the way we see people, how it affects our emotions. And I think sometimes it's challenging to separate the two and deconstruct the two. And so therefore, we hold on to the feelings that the trauma may have given us. Right. The feelings that the adversity and opposition may have given us. And so I think the moment that we can grow through it and figure out a way to use it, I think the quicker we get through it, because I think it's a powerful thing, Lewis, and, I think the quicker we get through it. Because I think it's a powerful thing, Lewis, and I think you probably know this to be true. When we use what happens to

us and it creates a light bulb moment for another person, that's a great feeling. It's like when you get something for yourself for Christmas, that's awesome. It feels great. But when you do something for another person that you know is in need, like that feels 10 times better for some reason. And so I take adversity and opposition and I interconnect it the same way. Yeah. When we go through things, it hurts or we figure out a way to get through it. But when we share something and we identify with another person to let them know that, because oftentimes when people go through stuff, you feel alone, you feel isolated, and you feel like, man, like, is something wrong with me? And I think what happens when we go through and we create a level of empathy, we show them that, no, man, you're human. Like, we all go through things.

Like, nobody is perfect. Like, I told a guy that had a brachial plexus injury, he's like, man, I see how you got through it. Like, it hasn't been that easy for me. I was like, no, bro, it took work. It took years. Like it hasn't been that easy for me. I was like, no, bro, it took work. It took years. Like this was painful. I went through every emotion that you're probably going through. And I had a lot of people to help me with them. And so I feel like sometimes it's just the feelings that are attached and interconnected to the experiences that we have. That creates the reason that we hold on to it for so long. Yeah. Right. that creates the reason that we hold on to it for so long.

Yeah. Right? And I think the quicker we can get through and use what we go through, the quicker we can go out and we can make the world a better place. Absolutely, man. Yeah. Where do you think you'd be right now if this didn't happen? Do you think you'd have the same level of emotional intelligence and wisdom and service mentality that you do now?

Or do you think you'd be in a different place? I think I'll be in a different place, much more reserved. Really? Yeah, much more reserved because just the nature of my personality. I speak and people see me speak, but to be honest, I'm an introvert by nature. That's why it was so hard for me to do it. But I know for a fact if I had to be honest, I'm an introvert by nature. That's why it was so hard for me to do it. But I know for a fact if I had to play ball, God would have blessed me to go to the NFL. Play for a few years.

Play for a few years. I would have just faded to black, man. I would have helped the people near and dear to me probably. Like they would have knew me, but I wouldn't have been out in front of the world sharing or traveling. It just wasn't my personality. Like just to be able to go out and share, that took work for me to be in front of a crowd. And so I know for a fact if I had to play ball, and I think about that often, if I had to play ball, went out, got a couple contracts, did

well, I probably just sat on the porch every day. You know, I'd be doing work, take my kids to school, be involved in local community stuff but i never would have discovered some of the gifts that now i know i possess like i'm being completely honest with you bro i never thought i would speak like ever they put me in public speaking in college i dropped the class on the second day. Yeah. Terrifying. Never, never. Like. And so for me, this is extremely humbling for me, like to speak, to go out and share. It's the thing that I feel like honest, like I could do forever. interactions never get old to me because I wasn't the guy that was saying, man, I want to go speak. I want to go share. Right. I never thought I could speak. When I got to college, they were putting me in public speaking because they couldn't understand most of the words I was saying from where I was from. You know what I'm saying? And so I never thought. And so for me to understand and know

that my life was being guided by a force and by a source that was a lot greater than me, it's extremely humbling to know that there was a plan in place, even when my plan didn't work. That was extremely humbling for me. And so when a father comes up and says, hey, man, like I saw this story, it helped me hang in there with my family. Like I take that to heart. When a kid comes up and is like, man, I watched that before the games. I'm like, man, that's amazing. Right? That can never get to the point in my life to where I'm like, oh, they're just saying

that because I never imagined. I never thought. I never knew I had this gift. Right? And so for me, man, I thank God that this happened. And for some people it's hard to understand and look at it that way because it helped me discover things about myself

that I never knew. What would you say are the three biggest lessons you've learned from the trauma you've experienced? Patience, empathy, and always being willing to extend a level of grace to others, but also to yourself. Did you beat yourself up for a long time? I wouldn't say beat myself up, but I definitely thought about, like, man, like, why did it happen? You know what I'm saying?

Like, just going down that rabbit hole of searching, like, what is this? Like, why did this happen? And then when I released that, it was like, all right, man, just survive it. Stop trying to understand it. Survive it. This did happen. And then when I released that and it was like, all right, man, just survive it. Stop trying to understand it. Survive it. This did happen. I can't go back. Can't change it. So you got to accept it. Got to accept it. Get through the pain and the emotions and then find meaning from it. Absolutely. Is that the process? That was the process, bro. Is that what you would suggest to anyone if they go through a devastating divorce or some type of heartache or injury and they're questioning why did this happen? I've been following the rules and I've been a good person and living a good life. And why did this thing happen to me? What would you say?

Sometimes you got to stop focusing and thinking about what could have happened and what should have happened. And you got to live in what is happening, right? Because I always say to them, stop trying to understand it and focus on surviving it. Because the quickest you can quicker you can survive it, the quicker you can use it, the quicker you can extract a lesson from it, the quicker you can glean perspective from it. And for all of us, we're going to encounter those defining moments in our lives. Right. To where it's gonna hurt right you went through it I went through it I remember I said to somebody like man it felt like I was in a boxing match and I just got KO life just knocked me out bro and I'm on the mat trying to find my mouthpiece right I'm like spitting out blood I see him over there

counting right I'm looking at my guy in the corner. He want to throw in the towel. I'm like, not yet. And I find the strength to muster up, to get myself up, be like, all right, let's go. I'm ready. And I'll never forget that person saying, you know what? Life is so cold-blooded, you're going to get knocked out like that again and again and again. And again and again. So the challenge is, will you learn the lessons from it so the lessons doesn't have to keep getting repeated and you keep having to learn it? Right. So when you go through these things of opposition, adversity and challenge, it's always a lesson.

It's always a blessing. It's up to us to extract it. And if we're so concerned with trying to understand why, why, why we're going to miss the lesson, right? We're going to miss the blessing and the lesson is going to keep repeating itself. I know that from repeating certain relationships over and over again. We all got things like that, man. It's like, I got two two kids i always try to teach them like one of our big things is attitude drives performance right attitude drives performance i say to them all the time when you get negative and you get frustrated what does it do to your performance like it goes bad it just gets bigger and bigger negative and negative i'm like exactly and so when it doesn't turn out the way you want it to turn out and you get negative the lesson is just going to repeat itself until you graduate

right until you learn how to set up celebrate the pain celebrate my son sometimes he'll come out go five for five right might get two home runs right other times you'll come out go oh for five right when you go oh for five are you gonna start huffing and puffing and then you got to get the lesson repeated again or are you going to learn at a certain point to say, all right, man, it's baseball. It happens. So what? Clap it up, cheer on your teammate and say, you know what? Today, I'm not getting it done on the offensive side. Defense, I got you, right? Sometimes I'm not getting it done on this side. I got you. And so that's the key to life. I think sometimes when things don't go our way, the quote says it, you judge the true character and caliber of a person, not by where they stand in times of comfort and convenience. You judge the true

character and caliber of a person by where they stand in times of challenge and controversy, right? It's an incredible thing and character can be cultivated in the midst of opposition and adversity. That's the reason it says it. It's King's quote. It doesn't say you judge character by how a person responds when everything is going good. They know how you're going to respond. Right.

Celebrate. Happy go lucky. Celebrate. Handclap. Great. Hip hip hooray. But when things go wrong, things don't go the way you want them to. They don't unfold the way you want them to.

Who are you? Because that's the true test of who you are as a person. That's your true character. That's the essence and the ethos of who you are as a person. Everybody is going to smile when the sun's shining, man. But the song says it. Can you stand the rain, baby? It says it.

And so in light, can you stand the rain? it says it yeah and so in light can you stand the rain that's the true tester character love the uh love remember the titan the titans oh that's one of my favorite movies man i think i was in college when that came out that's one of my favorite movies and we all watched the you know we all watch it the night before a game oh that's the joint that's one of my favorite movies attitude reflect leadership captain you know that's the joint. That's one of my favorite movies. Attitude, reflect, leadership, captain. You know? That's where it's at. How real is that, though?

That's real, man. That's true, man. That's real. And you know the crazy thing, Louis, like attitude is a small thing that we often underestimate, but we really can control that. Absolutely. Dude, when I bring someone on our team, we've got 20 people on our team now. Nice. And when I bring people on, obviously we look for skill set and experience

and all these different things, make sure they have certain skills. But I tell people over and over again, they're probably sick of me saying it, that the things I care about the most is your attitude, your energy, and your effort. Because we can teach you a lot of the things that you need to know. We can get you a consultant we can hire. We can get you a course. We can get you whatever to learn than a skill better. Absolutely.

We can get coached up on a skill. It's hard to get coached up on attitude, energy, and effort. It's got to come from within. You've got to make a decision and a choice. I'm going to have a positive attitude. I'm going to have an attitude of gratitude or appreciation or whatever it might be in this moment, even when it's not going my way. Absolutely. Even when things are going off in my life or I just feel sluggish, can I shift my attitude?

Can I have a different energy? And can I give effort? You know, you appreciate the guy who maybe isn't that skilled on basketball or football, but he's always diving for the ball. You're just like, man, he's doing what I wish I was doing this. You know, he's making me look bad. That's the man. The hustler that's just like, he doesn't have the height or the speed or the strength,

but he's willing to hustle and fight, right? And I think it's the attitude, the energy, and the effort you put into your relationship, your career, your health, which will dictate the quality of your life in a big way. But if we have negative attitude, negative energy, and negative effort, you can't expect great things to happen to you. Absolutely. Absolutely. So. That's good. Attitude is everything. I don't think it's a small thing.

I think it is the thing. Absolutely. That's good. That's good. I think. That's good. What did Lombardi say, his quote? If you're not fired up with enthusiasm, you'll be fired with enthusiasm.

Yeah, that's strong. I think that's the quote. That's strong. Right? It's like if you don't have an attitude of enthusiasm in what you're doing, even when it's painful, try to be enthusiastic

and you'll make it a more enjoyable experience. That's strong. Those three days, I don't know if you ever did three days, but we did those. I think it might've stopped when you were in high school. Yeah, we just was at two. Just two days.

Yeah, we was at two. Because a couple of kids died in high school. It was like my senior year,. Just two days. Yeah, we was at two. Because a couple kids died in high school. It was like my senior year, 2001. A couple kids in the country died of heat exhaustion. So we used to do three a days. Then they cut it back to two because of that. But I remember thinking, and we had a military coach in high school. Yeah.

And it was like no water break. It was like you just push through. You're just doing burpees for hours. You know, it's everything. You'd fumble the ball and everyone's running a mile, whatever it is. And then back in there. And it was painful, man. But I just remember thinking this is only going to last two hours, you know, or three hours.

Yeah. Can I get through this, you know, and try to have a positive attitude in this time frame? Then I can rest, you know. I'm going to ask you something attitude in this time frame. Then I can rest. I want to ask you something, just listening to you. Do you think mental toughness is a skill? Or what's your thoughts about mental toughness? I think you've got to develop it. I think it's trained.

I think it's something you develop for sure. I don't think many people have it. As a kid, you've got to develop it. Absolutely. And sports has been the way that i know to develop it i know musicians develop it as well in a big way because they practice and they're dedicated to a craft but i think it's i don't think you're just born with mental toughness i think certain things happen that cause you to have to step up bingo right there's some type of adversity or you're you you don't have the connection

with your parents the way you wanted or you're picked on and bullied and you have to endure. Bingo. You either endure or you just fall behind. Bingo. I think that enduring energy

coupled with the emotions behind it keep you going. So I was driven mostly to prove people wrong as a kid because I was picked on, right? Yeah. And I was going through some stress at home. And so I was driven mostly to prove people wrong as a kid because I was picked on, right? And I was going through some stress at home. And so I was just trying to prove everyone wrong in my life.

And I was willing to do whatever it took to prove the people who made fun of me wrong. And so I developed mental toughness in a negative sense, which made me more angry and reactive when things didn't go my way in sports. It would drive me to be the best I could be, but I was a really sore loser. And I was, you know, you hit me, I just wanted to hit you back. I didn't respond well. Yeah, get that lick back. And so I had to learn the lesson so many times until I was like, okay, I need to be better than the situation.

I need to rise above it. I can't react to everything because then I'm on the bench. No doubt. So you get on the bench enough, you get kicked out of the game enough, need to rise above it. I can't react to everything, because then I'm on the bench. No doubt. So you get on the bench enough, you get kicked out of the game enough, you're like, oh, I can't play. Done. So I had to learn how to manage the emotions

at some extent. Yeah. But that was a challenging thing, man. But when we want something bad enough, I think you're willing to be mentally tough. Absolutely. You have to be. Absolutely.

But if you don't want it bad enough, then you're, eh, I don't care about it. You don't have a meaning attached to the thing you want. And I was so committed to accomplishments to get accepted and to be praised by others because I wasn't accepted

and praised by others. And I would go years, a decade, to accomplish my goal in sports. And when I would accomplish all these big decade, to accomplish my goal in sports. And when I would accomplish all these big goals, I wasn't happy still. It's because I was trying to get acceptance from others, but I didn't accept myself. So it wasn't until I shifted it when I said I'm doing this because I want to be in service of others through my art, my expression, my inspiration. And I'm doing it because I purely love what I'm creating, what I'm doing, and I accept myself, then I started to actually enjoy the process.

That's good. It wasn't about winning. It was about the process. That's good. That's good. And I think it's hard for us to truly love what we do until we fully accept who we are. Yeah. It's really hard.

Yeah. That's good. It's hard to love what we do until we fully accept who we are. Yeah. It's really hard. Yeah. That's good. It's hard to love what we do until we fully accept who we are. That's strong. I think so, man.

That's strong. We can enjoy the things we're doing, but if we don't accept who we are, then we're doing it from a place of lack. We're doing it

from a place of unwholeness. If we don't accept who we are, then we're not whole. Yeah. And so we're giving it an energy that is not a true pure love absolutely it's like i'm doing something i enjoy but for what reason to make myself whole to like prove to others to impress other people yeah but we should just be

doing it from a whole centered place yeah yeah that's good that's my thought i love that man i love that what do you think is the... I love that. What is the biggest struggle you're facing with now? Is it, you know, you're a parent, you're a father of two kids. They're about to be teenagers. It's about to be a whole new world. Yeah.

You know, you've been doing your speaking career for 15 years now, essentially, you know, 12 to 15 years. Yeah. What is the biggest challenge you face today? The biggest challenge I face now, you know, and I really don't look at it like, you know how it is as athletes, we thrive off challenges, right? Like, we thrive off of it. But, you know, I would say, man, fatherhood has really pulled the element and aside out of me that, you know, has really served me well. Right. Because we're blessed with two beautiful kids, 11 year old daughter, 10 year old son, totally different in terms of how they view life, how they approach life and how they do things.

Of course, my son is like my wife. It's total opposite. My daughter is like me, right? And so some of the tactics early on that I would try to use with my son, it wouldn't work. And my wife is phenomenal. My wife, you know, at one point in her life, she was an educator, teacher, loved kids, right? And so communicating with kids for her comes second nature. You know, I'm more like toughen up a coach yeah yeah and so I leaned on her a lot and she would share things with me like I remember my my daughter man I had this moment it broke my heart man but it broke my heart but it created extreme revelation like it was a light bulb, but it hurt me as a father.

Like, when my daughter was probably, say, eight. And, you know, I would have this mentality, you know, whenever they would do something great, you know, I was the guy that would see it, you know, and be like, man, that was great. That was cool. But if you do this, it would help you get that. If you did that, it would help you get that. If you did that, it'd help you get this, right? I was that dude because that was the way I was wired

and how I looked at things coming up, you know, just in sports and life because I was that type of person. And I'll never forget, my daughter came out one day after school, sitting in the carpool, and she comes out. She has like a test grade and she had like a

maybe like a 89 and she gets in the car and she was like dad i got 89 on my test she was like you probably don't think it's that good but i'm really proud of myself like I worked really hard. I gave it everything I had. Right. And I was like, damn, I became that guy. Like, I make my kids feel like nothing is ever good enough. And I remember talking to my wife that night and I shared with her what Jada said. And I was like, man, that really hurt me. Like, as a father, that hurt, bro. Like, I get emotional about it.

That hurt me, you know what I'm saying? Because I never wanted my kids or want my kids to ever feel like, I don't care if you do your best and you get a C. Like, as your father, I got your back and I'm gonna love you and I'm gonna be proud of you regardless like I'm gonna ride with you regardless I'm your dude you know what I'm saying and I was like man that really hurt me that I made her feel that way that she had to say like dad you might not think this is much, but I'm really proud of myself, right? And my wife says something to me and she said, you know, sometimes Inc, we can be so focused on

who a person can become that we forget to acknowledge who they are and where they are. She's like, sometimes we just gotta acknowledge who they are and where they are. Make an 89 and they gave their best at it. Amen. Great job. Sometimes they're going to have a 95.

Sometimes they're going to have a 104. Right. But as their father, it's my job to always be supportive, to always be empathetic, to always be understanding. Of course, correction comes, accountability comes. But at the end of the day, they should always know that I'm going to be loving, I'm going to be understanding. And if you do your best and you say that's your best effort, that's enough. That's big, yeah.

I can live with that. One of the things, I think that's beautiful. And one of the things I learned from Kobe when I interviewed him, he said something similar. Like for one season, when he was like 12, either 11, 12, or 13, he played basketball for like a summer league. He didn't score one point the whole time, like the whole summer. Yeah.

All the games, he said he didn't score one point. I go, really? And he goes, yeah. And I went and talked to my father, and the reason I knew it was okay is because my dad said that he was going to love me whether I score all the points or no points. So it gave him permission to even go harder because he was like, I'm going to still feel loved.

No doubt. Even if I fail or don't score or don't do the thing. And he said it was a very powerful experience for him to not score and not succeed and still be loved. That's strong, man. So I think it's a good reminder for us. And I think it could go another way where it's like, hey, you can do whatever you want and I still love you.

And they're like, okay, I'll just sit around on the couch. So you've got to have something to drive also inside of you. But, you know, you've got to manage that somehow. Oh, no question somehow. No one to push the buttons, but no question, man. No question. You got to know your people. Exactly. You got to know him. He was driven also to keep winning, you know, to keep learning. So you got to know your people, man. What's the, the biggest lesson being married has taught you since going through this adversity really together and then kind of raising, rising in your career and your kind of celebrity and your personal brand. How has that worked in your marriage? It's made me realize that my job is not to change my wife.

My job is to love my wife unconditionally. change my wife. My job is to love my wife unconditionally, you know, because we all involve ourselves, whether it be relationships in terms of personal marriage or relationships in terms of people, friends, you know, compadres, whatever the case may be. Like when I was early in my marriage, you know, me and my wife, I'm sure I did things that got on her nerves, right? I would be speaking in the mirror when I'm trying to learn how to speak, right? Doing certain things. And she did certain things that I was like, man, like, I'm not feeling that, right? And so I had a cousin, right? He got married young, Louis. I'm talking about young. I'm talking about right when he graduated high school,

his joke was married. I've been married for when he graduated high school. This joker's married. Been married for years. Wow. Right? And so I called him one day and I'm complaining to him, right? And he's been married for a while. I'm complaining. Man, yeah, she does this.

Then she does this. And I'm really not feeling that. He listened. And he was like, you know you do stuff that get on her nerves too, right? Right, right. I was like, yeah, yeah. But man, this bothers me.

He was like, man, listen. He's like, your job is not to change your wife. Your job is to love your wife for who she is. Like she got delivered to you. Like your job is to love her. Right. And it was a period in my life because of certain things that I may didn't agree with. And there were certain things she didn't agree with me that I thought I was supposed to present them to her. it and there were certain things she didn't agree with me that I thought I was supposed to present them to her and she was supposed to change them. Because for most of us, when it comes to love, I feel like we love the version of people that suits us, right? We love the version of them that suits us. We don't always love them unconditionally, like who they are unapologetically, who they're not. We don't always love people like that. We love the version of them that suits us and makes us feel well about ourselves. And so for me, in terms of my growth

and my marriage, like I love my wife, right? Because she not only holds me accountable, right? But she, she makes me better. And we've been rocking since fifth grade. And so if don't nobody else on the planet Earth knows me, she knows me. Right. She knows when I'm not feeling something. She knows when my energy is off. She knows when I'm having a tough time. She could just sense it. And so for me, it's been my growth and my challenge in terms of just trying to be a better man, because I look at it like this. Because if I get toward the latter years in my life man and I journal like I journal to my wife I journal to both of my kids and I journal to myself I got four journals that

I write in every single day right that I haven't presented to them yet wow right but I just write in them every single day to where I write down why I make decisions, why I do certain things. And the reason I do that is because, you know, when my time comes, right, and God forbid something happens, whatever happens. And, you know, our people come up to people, right, kids, spouse, whatever the case may be. They say, man, let me tell you about your father. Let me tell you about your husband. Right. Let me tell you about your husband. Right our values, our morals, our principles, why he did certain things, why he lived by certain things, right? Why he made me do certain things,

right? Because if I get toward the latter years of my life and, you know, somebody comes up to him and say, man, he was a great athlete. That could be cool. And that's all they talk about. I fail as a man, as a father, as a person. And so I want my wife and my children to always know like, no, that's a real dude. That's our guy. That's not a public success, but behind closed doors, he's a private failure. No, that's our guy. Like he is who he is. And so I work just as hard at being a husband and a father than I do at anything else in my life. That's beautiful to hear, man. My dad just passed in February a few months ago. Thanks, man. And it was kind of a sad thing because he had a brain injury.

He got in a car accident 17 years ago. So he was in a coma for three months after his accident. Then he woke up, and he was never the same. You know, he had this brain trauma. A car hit him on top of the forehead through his car. And he had to learn how to read, how to write, how to talk again, how to function as a human. So it was like he was a five year old again,

almost in an adult body. And so emotionally I wasn't able to connect with him the same way. Eventually he was able to communicate and you could have normal conversations, but certain things were off where, you know, he would forget a lot. So it was the same conversation every time I saw him,

it was kind of like, hey, where'd you go to play? You play football in college, right? And he came to every game, right? So he's asking, where'd you go to school again? So we could communicate, but it wasn't all functional. So for 17 years, I didn't get to have that relationship with him, right? He was there, but it wasn't the same. But he wrote letters that I still have today from when I was 15.

And I kept those letters, and I get to see the way he thought, the way he loved, the way he learned. And those are very meaningful to me, those letters, to have that. Because for 17 years, I didn't get anything from him. I didn't get letters. I didn't get a phone call because he just wasn't there mentally, right? So it wasn't his fault.

He was just the brain trauma. But those letters are very meaningful. And so the reason you're doing that, I think it's really powerful just for you and it's going to be for them. Another thing, we had his funeral here in February and all of his old friends came out who I hadn't seen in a long time. And they got to share stories about who he was back then,

17 years ago when we kind of remember him before the accident. And it was beautiful that they came out and said, this is the man your father really was. And here's how he showed up for me. Wow. And this is the type of character he had in the community. And it was really touching and emotional for me to meet these older men and women who were talking about him that way.

Yeah, that's true. Because for 17 years it was so hard because it was kind of like we lost the man who once was. But those memories didn't die with them. The impact didn't die. The connection didn't die. And so I'm really glad you're doing that for your wife and for your kids, man. Man, that's the first time I've heard somebody say that they've had something like that.

That's strong, man. That's strong. It was beautiful. It made it really meaningful during a time that I couldn't find meeting within 17 years Wow it was like why did this accident happen without when I felt like I needed him the most you know I mean when I I got injured in my injury and stopped playing right after his injury and I didn't have him to lean on anymore so it became this like challenge but to hear those stories

and to have those letters was a beautiful part of the journey for me. So I'm glad you're doing that, man. That's strong. I'm really glad you're doing that. If you could only, let's hypothetical, this isn't going to happen, but say hypothetical scenario, you don't get to give those journals to them. And you only get to share one message with your kids. What would you say to them? And they could hold on to this message forever,

but it can only be one message. What would that message be? Enjoy every aspect of life. Enjoy every aspect of life and don't waste any experience. Because I feel like for most of us, we enjoy the good parts and for most of us most days are good days right but we often waste experiences that don't show up or turn out the way that we want them to and I feel like that's a big mistake because in those experiences are some of the greatest lessons and the greatest opportunities to shape and mold us into beautiful people.

Right. And so when I say enjoy every aspect of life, enjoy everything. Ups, downs, successes, failures, highs, lows, like everything. Right. Because in the end, it's the culmination of all of that that shapes Lewis. It's the culmination of all of that that shapes Inc. It's the culmination of all of that that shapes ink it's the culmination of all of that that will shape who they will become and so enjoy all of it don't

waste any of it man on the days where it's great hip hip race celebrate it days when it's not celebrate it might be hard but celebrate it like enjoy it right tough times don't last always tough people do we hear it all the time but everything passes with time right and so i just tell them enjoy every aspect of life and don't waste experiences a couple years ago i looked up i was curious to figure out what the how many people die every day and i was just googled it and it said, on average, 150,000 people die every day. In the world, right? Just for whatever, every cause. And every time I think of maybe I'm going through something sad or a challenging moment,

I think 150,000 people didn't wake up today and I did. Yeah, man. Just for that reason alone, it's a beautiful day. Absolutely. And I think it's any way we can find perspective is powerful. It doesn't mean we shouldn't feel our feelings and we, you know, grieve and go through sadness and cry and all these things. Don't stop these feelings.

But I think it's, you don't want to stay in those feelings forever because they hold us back from service, from being there for our loved ones, our friends, our family, our team, our community, and our creator. And it's like, what can we do with the tools and the skills that our creator has given us to be of service to the next person? Absolutely. Whether it's hundreds of people, millions of people, or one person. Absolutely. Focusing on that, like you said, is the greatest gift when we give it to someone else, not when we buy something for ourselves. Yeah, man. And use that with your tools and your story as well.

If you could only share one thing with your wife and she didn't get your journal, what's the thing you'd say to her? The thing I would say to my wife, this is funny, because this past this past Anniversary anniversary was in April and she had to be how many years we're on 11. She had to be She had to be in Orlando with my daughter at a cheer competition My son and so I sent their little text and the little message and I was like I son. And so I sent her a little text and a little message. And I was like, I'm there. I'm there. She was like, you're not here.

Like, you're all in Atlanta. So I was like, no, I'm there. I'm always there. Like, no matter where you go, I'm going to always be there. Right? A piece of me will always be with you. And a piece of you will always be with me. Right?

Because of who we are and how we've grown throughout life. We've been together since we were kids like talking ten years old like been at it for a long time and so the one thing that um my wife lost both her parents when she was young like elementary school she lost both of them so she was raised by grandmother and I always felt like my wife was a gift to me, right? Because when my wife, you know, even when we was young, I felt like God delivered my wife to me, like as a gift. That's beautiful.

Right, her spirit, right, what she had been through in life, the hurt she had endured. And so I felt like it was always my job to protect her heart, to protect her. She was being raised by a grandmother, grandmother, elderly lady. And so for me with my wife, I always want her to know that you got this, babe. Like I always tell her, you got this. And what you got this is, is everything. You got this, right?

As a parent, you got this, right? If there's ever a time when I'm not there, me and my son was in a pretty bad accident last year. Flipped over. Wow. Like, yeah, man. You caught it. Yeah. Like, flipped over.

By the grace of God, we both made it out. I had a little scratch on my arm. Car flipped. Car flipped. Damn. So, thought it was about to flip off the ramp. Was this icy or snowy or something? Rain and storm.

Dang. And we both made it out. That's scary. Yeah, it was scary, man. And we got out of the car. I'm getting in the car with my wife. And the whole car is just crying. But she was like pouring like, man, I almost lost y'all.

Right? And it was a tough moment, but I remember, like, just thinking at night, like, man, have I prepared my wife? Like, if there was ever a time to where she had to move forward without me. And so for me, my message to her is always, babe, you got this, right?

It's preparation. You got it, right? And so for me, that would be my message to my girl like if there's ever a time when I'm not present and Lord forbid something happens to me you got this mmm you know what I'm saying yeah it's like that word we hear when we're young from a coach or a parent that belief that injects belief in us right like hey Louis man you got this when you young you trying to figure it out and you remember it Lewis, man, you got this. When you're young, you're trying to figure it out and you remember it, right?

Or, hey, Inc., man, you got this, man. I'm telling you, you know I'm a smaller guy, right? And you remember those things, man. It's the simple things in life that people don't think always makes a big difference that when a person gets alone or a person really needs something that they can rely on to get through adversity,

opposition, or just a rough patch. You remember things like that. You remembered them letters your father wrote, you know, like you remembered that. And so just sometimes simple words of, Hey man, you got it. You know, remember the Titans. I want to, I got a couple of final questions for you, but I want people to follow you. InkyJohnson.com. Yes, sir. Inky Johnson on social media. Inky Johnson Motivate on Instagram as well.

Is that where you spend the most time, Instagram? Yeah, yeah. I be on IG and Twitter, man. Every day I jump on Twitter and IG, but yeah. Nice. We'll make sure to follow you over there. And if anyone listening or watching wants an incredible speaker at one of your events,

then make sure to go to inkyjohnson.com and, and, and send you an email and see if, see if he's available. He's an in-demand guy. You know, you never know when he's available. So make sure you schedule it a year in advance,

get the discount for next year. That's right. Now, greatness you know what i'm saying that's right that's it man um anything else we can do to support you man it's following you online and checking out your stuff yeah um you know and i don't say this in like a cheesy way, but like, you know, we always look at the world, all of us, right? And when something happens, right? Like you see the mass shootings that happen or whatever the case may be. And we all see things that happen in the world, man. And our heart hurts, you know what I'm saying? Whether you see, and we can't control it, you know what I'm saying? Things happen sometimes it's just out of our control. And you always think about like, man, what can I do? It's just something I can do. And just go out, man, and just be a good person, man. Like it don't cost nothing to go out and offer a kind word to a

person every day. It don't cost nothing to go do a random act of kindness. It don't cost nothing to go out and just share a word of encouragement to somebody. Like every day just doing our part to make the world a better place. It doesn't take anything grand, right? Like it doesn't take anything special. Just go out every single day and do our part and just watch the triple effect of that

when we go out and we serve. You know what I'm saying? And so just make the world a better place. Be a kind human being. That's the key, man. It don't cost a thing. It doesn't. You know what I'm saying?

Just go out and be a good person. This question is called the three truths. So imagine hypothetical. It's your last day on earth many years away. You get to live as long as you want to live. 100, 200, however long you want to live. But eventually you got to turn the lights off. All right.

And you got to go to the next place. You get to accomplish all your dreams. Yeah. Live your life, see your kids grow up, all these different things. But for whatever reason, you got to take all of your message with you. Gotcha.

This interview is gone. Anything you create online is gone. Books, anything you create, gone. Gotcha. The journals are gone. No. Your family doesn't have the journals. All the other things. Another gone. Books, anything you create, gone. Gotcha. The journals are gone. Your family doesn't have the journals. All the other things. Another hypothetical.

Right, right. But you get to leave behind three lessons to the whole world. Three things you know to be true from your existence. And that's it. What would you share your three truths? My three truths would be the first one, this too shall pass. Whatever you encounter, whatever you go through. And I say this obviously referring to tough moments, right? This too shall pass, right? Every storm has an expiration date. Every storm runs out of rain. This too shall pass would be

the first one. Learn the art of patience, right. Be patient. In the midst of good times and bad times, learn the art of patience. Patience will reveal certain things to you about situations, circumstances in yourself that you didn't know exist. And always be willing to be empathetic. Right most of us, when things happen, we have sympathy for people. Like, oh man, that's really unfortunate what happened to that person. We have sympathy. I think the power of empathy is

when somebody goes through something or somebody is dealing with something, empathy says, hey, Louis, I'm with you, bro. You got it. I'm going to walk with you, man. Call me if you need me. That's empathy.

Sympathy is, man, you see what Louis is going through? It's tough. I hope he gets through it. Empathy is, hey, bro, I'd be willing to walk through the fire with you if you need it. Yeah. Right? Be empathetic. Inky, I'm I'd be willing to walk through the fire with you if you need it. Yeah. Right? Be empathetic. Inky, I'm so grateful we got to connect right now.

I hope we do a lot more stuff in the future and hang in the future, man. I want to acknowledge you for your courage. It takes a lot of courage to overcome what you've come from, the pain, the trauma, the identity loss, to transition it into something for good. I think a lot of people hold onto their pain so much and it becomes their identity moving forward. You used it, you let go of an old identity and you're using a new identity for good as opposed to holding onto the pain. So I really acknowledge you for expressing your talents and your gifts with the world in the way that was scary to do. You didn't think you were going to speak.

You had to overcome that fear to even get this skill out there. So I acknowledge you for all the things you've gone through. And most of all, for being a great father, man. I think that's the most beautiful part is hearing your story as a father, which I'm sure you make mistakes. Absolutely. Ton of them. But stepping up for your kids and being a great husband is what makes an impact on communities. Thank you, man.

So for you showing up in that way, man, I acknowledge you for that. Appreciate you. Can I say something to you, man? Sure, brother. I think as men and as people, we don't say this enough to each other, but I'm proud of you, bro. Thanks, man. Proud of you. Appreciate you, man.

Absolutely. From one brother to another, man. Every day, one step at a time. That's it, bro. That's it. One step at a time, man. Thank you, bro. Thanks, man. Proud of you. Appreciate you, man. Absolutely. From one brother to another, man. Every day, one step at a time. That's it, bro. That's it. One step at a time, man. Thank you, brother. Final question, what's your definition of greatness?

My definition of greatness is, I heard Kobe say something great, and I know you asked mine, but I got to say this. He said, every single day I was pursuing greatness, even though I knew I would probably never catch it. Just the fact that I was willing to pursue it, I would defeat most of my opponents because they would never pursue something that didn't have any guarantees attached to it. So when I think greatness, I think about having the courage to pursue it. Because most people won't even pursue greatness because they feel as if it's something that's so far fetched that they'll never attain it. Because most people won't even pursue greatness because they feel as if it's something that's so far-fetched that they'll never attain it. I feel

true greatness is having the courage to just involve yourself in the pursuit, the process of trying to be your greatest self, right? Self-mastery is the constant pursuit. So being willing to show up every single day and constantly pursue greatness of trying to be

our best selves. Yes, sir. Thank you, Johnson. My man. Appreciate you, brother. My brother. Thank you so much for listening. I hope you enjoyed today's episode and it inspired you on your journey towards greatness.

Make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a full rundown of today's show with all the important links. And also make sure to share this with a friend and subscribe over on Apple Podcasts as well. I really love hearing feedback from you guys. So share a review over on Apple and let me know what part of this episode resonated with you the most. And if no one's told you lately, I want to remind you that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter. And now it's time to go out there and do something great.