The School of Greatness - How To Achieve Greatness Within Yourself w/ Andy Frisella EP 1402

Episode Date: March 3, 2023

https://lewishowes.com/mindset - Order a copy of my new book The Greatness Mindset today!Today I'm so excited to share an interview I recently did around my new book The Greatness Mindset that I felt was so powerful and I wanted to share it here on our School of Greatness feed. Make sure to check out the original episode linked in the description to follow their show and give them some love.Be sure to subscribe to REAL AF With Andy FrisellaIn today's episode, Lewis joins Andy & DJ in studio to discuss how to find inner peace with yourself through discipline and gratitude, how to overcome the paralyzing fears in your pursuit of success, and the best way not to allow the bad things that have happened in your life to become your identity.In this episode you will learn: How to go from good to great.How important it is to forgive yourself.Why being vulnerable is such an integral part of healing.The toxic culture of victimhood.Plus so much more!For more, go to lewishowes.com/1402Andy's past episodes on The School of Greatness:Redefining Masculinity Episode 553Turn Your Scars Into Strengths Episode 485

I have something really big I want to share. I just finished writing my latest book, The Greatness Mindset. And throughout the past decade, I've been inspired by the countless people I've interviewed. And no matter what they are experts in, they all agree on one thing. Mindset matters. And the aha moment that defines an entire chapter could happen anywhere at any time. And my Dell Latitude 9330 is always there when inspiration strikes.

Whether I'm live on the show, in between flights, or working from home, I can do it with my Dell Latitude 9330. And with its 4G, 5G options, I'm able to work from anywhere while traveling with the industry's fastest speeds. And believe me,

my Latitude 9330 has seen some heavy use over the course of writing this book. And thanks to the LPDDR5 memory, I never noticed it lagging or starting to slow down. Capture inspiration when it strikes with the Dell Latitude 9330. Okay, so if you haven't heard the news yet, I've got a new book out called The Greatness Mindset. Unlock the power of your mind and live your best life today. It's coming out soon and I'm pumped to invite you to be a part of the launch team for this book. This is a rare opportunity to get your questions answered and network with other champions of greatness in this

exclusive community of conscious achievers. If you're ready to receive early access to the first few chapters of the book, behind-the-scenes updates from me, plus VIP access to bonuses and giveaways, then this is for you. For instructions about how to join this greatness launch team, make sure to go to lewishouse.com slash launch team right now. Again, make sure to check it out at lewowes.com slash launch team right now. Again, make sure to check it out at lewishowes.com slash launch team right now. Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, a former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness.

Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin. Hey guys, today I am so excited to share an interview that I recently did around the new book, The Greatness Mindset. Again, if you haven't checked it out yet, make sure to get a copy of the book. But this interview I felt was so powerful, I wanted to share it here on the School of Greatness and on this channel. So make sure to check out the original episode linked in the description. Follow their show and give them some love. And again, make sure to pick up a copy right now of The Greatness Mindset and let me know what you think about this content. I was just like, I want to accomplish this goal and this dream.

And I want to make it, I don't make this much money. And then when it happened, it still wasn't feeling like, where's the feeling I'm supposed to have. And once I started to look back and say, okay, I've done a bunch of stuff, but I still don't feel fulfilled. That's when I said, I got to start making everything else about how can I impact the people around me the best way possible? How can I lift them up and elevate them?

It's one of the reasons why I started the school of greatness because I was like, I want to shine a light on everyone else and not make it about me originally and just lift others up and create a platform for those. And that helped me let go of the ego a lot of just being successful for me. I still want to be successful. Right. But I think- You've probably also figured out that being successful is a product of what you successful for me. I still want to be successful. You've probably also figured out that being successful is a

product of what you do for others. 100%. Impacting the people around you and adding as much value as possible, which you guys do at first form. It's beautiful. But what I realized was that self-doubt was the biggest killer of my dreams. The insecurities, the doubt, the fears that held me back. I started to dissect over the last 10 years, kind of what these, and ask all these great people that I've interviewed, you've interviewed a lot of them, you know a lot of them as well, about how they overcame self-doubt and the fears that held them back the most.

And I realized that there were three main fears that causes anyone to doubt themselves. The first one is the fear of failure, which as an athlete, I don't know if you ever had the fear of failure. I didn't because I knew as an athlete, like I was going to fail my way to success. That was the process. You miss a shot, you just like realign it. You keep shooting, right?

Yeah, I was the same. Yeah, so I wasn't like, I'm afraid to fail, so I'm not going to even attempt the shot. I would shoot and fail and okay, I'm going to learn and grow. So fear of failure was not a thing for me. But if you ask a bunch of people listening and you guys DM Andy and say, have you ever been afraid to fail? I bet a lot of people will say, yes, I've been afraid to fail. And it's

why they don't start the show or launch the book or do it or start the company or whatever it is. They don't go for the girl, whatever it might be. They're afraid of failure. The second fear is the fear of success. I didn't understand this growing up either because I wanted to be successful, right? This is one I never got either. Exactly. But when I go and speak in rooms and I ask people who here has ever been afraid of success, I'm shocked more than half the room raises their hand. I never understood it. It confuses me. Never understood it. Because I get the same thing, dude. Here's the thing, though. When I started to ask questions about it, I realized that there's a weight to gold. There's a massive responsibility you have being the leader of this company, being the leader of 400 plus employees, being a leader of hundreds of thousands or millions of customers

and living a life that people can model and be inspired by. There's a weight to gold. And there's an amazing documentary called Weight of Gold that is about Olympic gold medalists who get depressed after they win the gold medal, get suicidal, commit suicide, overdose, and all these things because they don't know how to handle success. Not all of them, but there's a series that talks about the ones that do. And as I started to make money and I started to become more successful, it's funny because when I left St. Louis and went to go pursue my dreams, I had tight friends from high school and college. For whatever reason, they

stopped calling me back when I went to go pursue things that they could have done as well, but they didn't. And I didn't get it. I was really hurt by that. And then years later, I would start to get phone calls once they saw me successful in business and making money and then asking for things. I'm so proud of you, bro. Thanks,

man. Appreciate it. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. But I, but I, the thing, but the thing is there,

I understood when, when you leave a tribe, your family, your tribe to go pursue something, and if they don't believe in you and they kind of push you away or they stop responding to you, it doesn't feel good. It feels lonely. Yeah.

And you want to go back to that friend group, the family group, the people that supported you once. It's scary. And it's also scary to figure out, do people truly like me for me or because I have this platform or because I have the money or because of whatever now. And so I understood as I started interviewing people and kind of experiencing it, the fear of success. But again, it wasn't something holding me back from at least putting myself out there. I would still try and launch the thing I wanted to do. But the third fear is the fear that crippled me for most of my life. And I think

that holds a lot of people back too, which is the fear of judgment, the opinions of other people. Again, I could try anything and fail and be okay. I wasn't afraid to at least attempt. I wanted success, so I was going after it. But it was all the criticism and judgment behind my back, But it was all the criticism and judgment behind my back, publicly online, comments that would just kill me. And I felt like I had to defend myself every time there was an attack, a judgment. Because at the core of all three of these fears, failure, success, and judgment, the center is I'm not enough. Somewhere, I believe that I am not enough. Not good enough, smart enough, talented enough, worthy enough, whatever it might be. And that was definitely my biggest insecurity

was I'm not enough in so many ways. And so I needed people to give me the approval. I needed people to accept me because I didn't accept me fully. Now, I accept myself fully now. It doesn't mean I'm still not hungry. It doesn't mean I'm still not hungry it doesn't mean I'm still not a work in progress it doesn't mean I'm still not driven to create results in my life and make an impact and do all these beautiful things but I finally come to myself after literally 10 years of different healing modalities and processes and making big mistakes and learning and growing, I finally feel at peace with accepting myself. And from that space, I feel like I can do anything no matter if people talk crap about

me. It doesn't mean I have to like it, but I can still do it and not be afraid of that. And that's really at the core of the greatness mindset is identifying which fear holds you back. Because I believe self-doubt is the killer of dreams. If we doubt ourselves, it's just going to hold us back. Or if we accomplish, it'll never be enough. And so we must learn how to accept and love ourselves. I know that's maybe not the talk you'd have here about acceptance and loving yourself, but I truly feel like it's learning to see yourself truly for who you are, all your flaws and insecurities, all your shame, all your past, get to a place of meaning about everything

that's happened to you to accept yourself now so that you can lean forward in your life in alignment with your best self. And that's what it's about. Yeah, dude. I think, first of all, I agree with everything you're saying 100%. And what you just said about this might not be the thing here.

Okay. The reason that I do not really address that is because I believe that in a lot of people, it's become a toxic mentality. 100%. Where they are not. It's like when I talk about luck. They're not disciplined.

No, at all. And so they're accepting who they are with zero effort to try and become the best version of themselves. 100%, yeah. And so when I talk about luck, bro, like the minute I mention luck, okay, because we talk about success,

personal development, you know, when I go speak, minute luck comes up. 50% of the room shuts the fuck down because they're like, dude, see, you got lucky. I didn't get lucky. And so they use it as a thing. It's the cop out. Yes. And so the reason I'm so hard on the self love space, because I am hard on it because I believe it. I believe it means something else than what most people believe that it means. I agree. I believe that it means you should recognize the potential in yourself and love yourself enough to make the changes that produce the best possible version of yourself. Amen. It doesn't mean accept yourself and all your flaws and do nothing about

them and continue to be a piece and be lazy. Right. Exactly. And so like, I feel like it's gotten toxic. So the reason that I hammer on it and it does get misunderstood a lot, like a lot of people hear me talk and they're like, this guy's a psychopath. That may be true. No meditating guys. It may be true. You might be right, but it's not that I don't believe in these things. It's just, I believe they're misunderstood. Yeah. You know, and I believe that there's, you know, like for example, like when we talk about, you know,

the body positivity movement, you know, it's, it's, you should feel good about how you look if you're doing the things that are to improve what your health is supposed to be. You're in alignment. Yes.

And your actions are in alignment with your greatest self. Yeah. None of us are perfect, bro. You have to be honest with yourself. Like, are you really happy with how you look? You know what I'm saying? You're probably not making the actions you need to do. You're not being your word.

Well, I was going to ask this, Lewis, because the thing, like, we talk, like Andy talks about it quite a bit. You know, the work comes before the belief. Right? So, like, do you, would you agree that a lot of people that have these issues of the self doubt is because they have not put the work in to have the belief in themselves that they can accomplish whatever it is. I mean, yours, it took 10 years, right?

Like you got two, but now you fears that he's talking about too, bro. Those are paralyzing fears. They, they, you're right. Yeah. But what these three fears that we're talking about here, these are things that create inaction by the nature of the fear, by the fall. Right. And so addressing these fears upfront and especially hearing, you know, I think most people should hear that like even somebody like me or somebody who's you're looking at, we struggle with those three things. Absolutely. Yeah. Now,

do I understand the fear of success? Not really. But as I've gotten more successful, it has become more of a weight. There's a pressure. Yes. A responsibility. And that's real. That's a real thing. It doesn't get easier. Nobody prepares you for that.

It doesn't get easier the more successful you become. No, it gets much harder. If you're an ethical human. It gets easier in terms of you can take care of financial things easier but it doesn't make your emotions easier managing people easier understanding people's intentions easier dealing with uh more conflict dealing with whatever people are saying about you like the weight of it is big and i think a lot of people don't want that weight they don't want the responsibility and they don't actually know how hard it is to be in your position. Dude, I never thought about that weight. Like, like, like on my journey,

you know, it's 24 years now I've been in business. I never thought, I never stopped to think about it. Like of all the fears that you mentioned, I struggled with the third one as well. Judgment. Yeah. Um, it's usually cause we judge ourselves so much yeah well what it is is that we know our own weaknesses we know the that we're not great at and then when someone else happens to point it out we feel like oh my god we've been exposed i know it's like dude everybody knows this you know what i'm saying like everybody's the same and um but i never thought about the the weight you know but that's a real thing huge Huge thing. It's a massive thing. And people don't, you know, nobody prepares you for that. Like nobody talks about how much pressure you feel.

If you are a decent human running a massive company where you're responsible for hundreds and thousands of people. And so many, no, not every person is going to understand your intentions. And they may be upset for a multitude of things that was not your intention. And there's really nothing you can do about it except just take it on the chin. It's part of being great. It's it. Part of being great is you have to be willing to be misunderstood.

100%. And accept that it's going to be lonely. And you might only have a core group of people who truly see you and fully acknowledge what you're up to and accept you for who you are, where everyone else might be judging you, complaining, gossiping behind your back. No matter how loving and caring you are, it may just not be the case. And to go back to what you were saying, I'm 100% in agreement that it's the consistent actions of doing the hard things or just the things you say you're going to commit to and

completing those things which build the confidence and the belief in yourself. It's hard to believe yourself when you do nothing. Like you said, you can't be lazy and say, I believe in myself because you're not getting any results. And it's really not even about the results. It's about the consistency of the effort and saying, I'm going to do this every day for seven days. And you did it.

Great. Now you can have some, even if you didn't accomplish what you set out to do, which is I'm going to lose five pounds in two weeks, even if you didn't do it, but you did exactly what you're supposed to do on 75 hard and you did it to the program, that is something to build confidence in. One of the things I talk about in the book is I had so many insecurities and fears after I was done playing arena football, which again, I was only making 250 bucks I was done playing arena football, which again, I was only making 250 bucks a week back playing arena football. So it wasn't like I was some huge stud in the NFL.

But for me, it was a dream. It was a dream to like get a little check and catch a football. I was like, this is unbelievable, right? It was amazing. And I probably would have done it for free, to be honest. Yeah. You know, because I was like, this is just unbelievable. But after that, I went through a period of, I had a surgery and went through a period

of just like kind of who am I, what's my identity, you know, and what's happening in the world in 2008 to 2009, 10. I was trying to figure things out. And I was afraid. I realized I was acting like I was confident, but I was really afraid inside with so many things. And I had a mentor who said, I want you to make a list of all your fears. And he said, create a fear list. And what I want you to do is start knocking it off one by one.

Start with the biggest fear first. And public speaking was a big one. I couldn't stand in front of a classroom without stuttering and kind of trembling and just feeling very insecure because I had a very low reading level and a communication level in middle school and high school. That's amazing to hear. Honestly, I was thinking about, cause like, dude, honestly, real talk. I think you do one of the best interviewers on the planet. Thank you. Thank you.

I appreciate it. But in eighth grade, when I came to St. Louis in eighth grade, boarding school, Principia high, They tested me for all the standardized tests. I had a second grade reading level. So from eighth grade all the way through seven years of college, I had a tutor. During lunch, I was in special needs classes. And really, in my senior year at high school, the English teacher was like, Lewis, you're failing right now. If you don't pass, you cannot graduate high school English. You can't go play college football. And so she would help me after class every day to just get to a passing

grade just because it was very challenging for me. So I had this insecurity because I felt like everyone else around me was just way smarter. And based on evidence and results on the grade cards that we had, they ranked us. I don't know if they did that at your school. Oh, yeah. So I was always in the bottom four. Me too. So I was always just like, okay, I'm the dumbest person here and probably in the world. That was the belief that I built based on the evidence

and the results I was getting. And I was working hard. I was trying to study. It wasn't like I wasn't giving effort, but I just didn't understand it. And so he said, I want you to create a fear list. Public speaking was a big one because I have that insecurity. And so what I did is I met someone who was a public professional speaker who

got paid to speak. And he said, you need to go to Toastmasters. And if you really want to overcome your fear, you've got to do it every week. You can't just go once a month or once in a while. You've got to do it every week for a year and act like it's a sport, like you're training for the championship. What's Postmaster? Postmasters is an international association that teaches public speaking. They give workshops and classes from basic speaking to advanced, and they teach you how to communicate effectively.

And they give you different prompts. So you do 10 speeches to finish like your first course, 10 kind of main speeches. But I would go every week and I would present something for at least a two minute speech, but sometimes it was longer. And the first time I got, so I was like, okay, I knew I had a vision or a dream to want to impact people one day. I didn't know if it was going to be me working in an office or me as a coach. I had no idea, but I knew I needed to be able to communicate effectively and confidently to do anything in my life. Dude, I just covered this on the freaking last show that we recorded. What you're talking

about, how important this is. Yeah. And so he said, I want you to go every week. And so I committed to it like I was training for a sport. And I went every week. And the first week, I remember I had to give a speech. My first speech, it was after a few weeks of going, but my first speech, you're supposed to give a five-minute speech. And they call it the icebreaker. It's like, tell us a little bit about who you are. And you have five minutes. It took me weeks to figure out how am I going to speak for five minutes. No joke. This was, what, 15 years ago. It took me weeks to think about how do I have an interesting story? Like, is people going to be interested in this?

I have no clue what to say. All you have to do is speak for five minutes. And I was terrified. I wrote down word for word the speech, and I practiced it for weeks. And when I gave my first presentation, I stood behind a podium in front of 20 people, and word for word looked down and read the whole speech. I did not look up one time. I was terrified to look at people, to see them laughing at me, judging me, you know, kind of just giving me awkward stares.

So I couldn't look people in the eyes. It was terrifying. And I remember after you get feedback after every speech you give. So it's a safe environment, but I was still terrified of the judgment, right? Of what people are going to say, even though they're supposed to lift you up. I was terrified. And they give you feedback. And I remember I was like, okay, I got the hardest part done. This is the most embarrassed I've ever felt. These are all professional speakers. They gave me feedback. It's a safe environment, but I still feel humiliated, sweating out of my pits, just like horrible feeling. I was like, okay, I got to train this like a sport.

Every week I went back and I couldn't wait to go back. I was like, okay, I'm going to improve on this. I'm going to get more feedback. And I got a coach from there. And I was just like meeting with my coach every week, teach me how to do this. By the end of the year, I got a standing ovation. I didn't need any notes. I didn't need anything, but it was that consistency of diving into the thing that I was most afraid of every single week until the end of the year, being able to do it with confidence and poise and being able to remember

my points without having to read them down and just being able to implement all the things I learned in a year, that has made me so much money going all in on my fear. And I talk about in the greatness mindset, it's really figuring out the talents and the skills and the things that make you feel powerful and leaning into those things, which you've done so well, but also in this fear list, it's figuring out where you feel the most insignificance and also the most powerless. And this was an area that I felt powerless. But after this process of doing what you said, which was taking action consistently to build up your belief, I felt like it was a

superpower. I felt like, okay, now this is a superpower. Something I thought I would never be able to do that made me feel powerless is now a superpower. I'm putting this in my tool belt as a confidence tool that I have now. Let me go down the list of fears and check off the next one. Let me go take it on like a sport, the next fear and the next one and the next one. By doing that, that's how you build belief. But you turn your fear list into something that is really supporting you for the rest of your life by going all in on it. So that's what I did. And that's what a lot of the greats do. They figure out what is their biggest fear and insecurity and they attack it. They don't hesitate. They attack.

attack it they don't hesitate they attack dude i failed my college public speaking course you know i'm saying like i'm one of the highest paid speakers on i know look at you now man yeah you turned it into an asset it's the same thing you're talking it's amazing yeah like i used to get nervous standing in front of my eight employees over on manchester road at a supplement store and i would the same thing, dude, I'd have to read it. Oh man. People don't understand that.

Like you have to go through that process. Like everybody you look at, everybody you admire, everybody you want to emulate or be like, or who inspires you. They've all been you before. Yes. All of them.

And I think if people would just take a minute to remind themselves of that, you know, nobody comes out of the womb, an amazing public speaker or an amazing entrepreneur or an amazing, you know, a humanitarian or philanthropist or organizer or whatever it is that you do. Nobody comes out that way. The first time they try it, they get punched in the face, man. Multiple times. Yeah. Right. And it keeps happening. And the real key is that perseverance, man. And every single time, if you're willing to just learn the lesson and put it in your tool belt, like you guys, I like to say that too. It becomes an asset, man. Huge asset. Yeah. And you kept doing it. You know, you turned that fear of like speaking to eight people and you just kept trying and

practicing and trying new stuff. And some things didn't work and they didn't listen to you. And then you figured out the next thing. Oh, you know what? Sometimes I go out there now and I suck. Right. It's true. You know what I'm saying?

It's true. It is what it is. I just accept that that's part of the deal. You know, like you don't get to, you could be a Hall of Fame baseball player and hit the ball, you know, three times out of 10. Exactly. You know, I mean, that's kind of how I look at it. It's just the numbers. Like nobody's perfect all the time.

Nobody's great all the time. Uh, but people will remember you for your greatness when they get to witness it. Absolutely. And I think that's something that, you know, people have to understand, like no matter how good you get, you're still going to have days that are bad. Absolutely. Another tool that I learned cause after, so I started making money as a speaker after this, which I never thought would happen. I was like, who would ever pay me? What do I have to offer on a stage? I started making money for years. And then I started speaking on even bigger stages, 5,000, 10,000 people, whatever, like you. And I was like, okay, I know how to speak. I've been speaking for years now. I've been doing it over and over again, probably two speeches a month for years, but I was

still getting nervous before my speeches. And I don't know if this happens for you, but this happened about five years ago when I was like, I'm sick and tired of being nervous. After 10 years of doing this, why am I still a little bit insecure before I go on stage? You always hear people say, well, nervous is a good thing because it makes you prepared. It makes you focused. Yes, but I was insecure and I didn't know why that was happening. And I called a coach of mine probably 30 minutes before a big speech and I go, I don't know why I'm nervous and why I'm kind of like still insecure and worried. And he said, Lewis,

you care so much about how you look. You're focused on Saying the joke the right way you're focused on the opening line. You're focused on this and you just need to focus on service You need to know and own that you will forget something you want to say You're going to forget that funny joke or the timing's going to be off You need to know it and own it and be okay with it like go into it knowing This is not going to be a perfect speech. And I accept that it won't be. I accept that it won't be. I'm prepared the best I can to give the best I can, but I know I can always do better and it's okay. But what I'm going to do is I'm going to show up. I'm going to serve the audience and give them what they need, not get what I need out of this, give them what

they need. And it shifted everything for me with a lot of things. My podcast, when I had a big guest on, I'd be nervous. And I just said, I'm here to serve the audience and I'm not going to be perfect. It's your intent. It's my intention is to serve people the best way I can. And I'm going to stutter and I'm going to forget something. I'm going to say something stupid and that's okay. And when I started to do that, I actually relaxed a lot more and perform better because

I wasn't thinking about me. You were nervous and it wasn't your flow. It was, it wasn't about being successful. It was about service, which is greatness. And you actually achieve more when you lean into service. And so that's just another tool for people. If you feel insecure or nervous, stop thinking about me and start thinking about how can you give.

Dude, what you just described, it's so cool that you described it that way because the same exact process happened for me you said you don't know if i get nervous i did used to get nervous but i do not get nervous at all anymore ever ever for really anything and the reason i don't and ed my let's the one that pointed this out to me he's great he's the best he's my best friend dude he's the only guy i can truly talk to who i know will actually not judge you know what i'm saying yeah at this point in time yeah he's not going to run away and say oh andy told me this i could be real with him you know what i'm saying um but he's he pointed this

out and he's like look man he's like if you want to drop the nerves he's like just remember that you were there your intent is for them to get better and if if you want to drop the nerves, he's like, just remember that you were there. Your intent is for them to get better. And if you approach everything, whether it be a speech or whether it be a podcast or whether it be your business plan or whether it be a conversation or a relationship and your intent is always in the right spot, you don't have anything to be nervous about. And people pick up on it. The energy that people pick up once I actually came to the understanding that this is what the key was, the energy that the people pick up is much better.

Yeah. It's, it's, it's, it's like you said, it's lighter. You know what I'm saying? So I'm not up there.

You know, when I go up and speak, you know, I stressed or anything, bro, I don't even prepare anymore. I speak from the heart. It's a beautiful.

So when I go up there, I'm now, if I'm teaching an RTA or something, I might use slides to make points. But for the most part, if I'm giving a speech, dude, you're hearing what's on my heart that day at that time. That's amazing. Yeah. My friend, Rory Vaden said to me one time, it's hard to be nervous when your heart's on service. It's really, it's hard to be nervous when your heart's on service. And I think it's so true. It's just like when your heart's thinking about yourself looking good, you're probably going to be more nervous. But when we're just focused out and just thinking, how can I give, knowing it's not going to be the perfect thing, but it's going to be exactly what people need right now, that's when

it's magic. Yeah. That piece of advice really, really made a difference for me in a lot of different areas. When did Ed tell you that? Well, it's been a couple of years. Yeah. You know, it's been a couple of years. I mean, I was already great at speaking and doing all these things, but my point is always get better and improve. And Ed and I, our conversations, they're very much so very honest with each other about

how we can improve each other. Yes. very honest with each other about how we can improve each other. And that was just something that he pointed out. Um, and one of the many conversations that we've had that just stuck with me and you just described the whole process. Yeah. That's beautiful. Yeah.

He respects you so much. I was just with him yesterday and he's just like amazed at who you are, who you've become as a human and what you're building. A lot of that has to do with my friendship with him. Yeah. I mean, he's been a great, you know, cause he's a little bit older than me with him. Yeah. I mean, he's been a great, you know,

cause he's a little bit older than me. He's got more life experience and he's been great at subtly directing me in a, in a, in a healthy, you know, productive way. Yeah. You know,

he's never been someone that's been like, Andy, you're too much or Andy, you're this or that. It's always been, you know, Hey, have you ever thought about this? You ever thought about that? And always been, you know, Hey, have you ever thought about this?

You ever thought about that? And those things, you know, for me, that's the best way to communicate with me. Right. Cause like when people tell me what to do, I fuck, I'm like, fuck you. I'm curious. How old are you now? 43. 43. If you could go back to 33 and think about where you were in that time and where the company was, where you were personally, your health, your relationships, intimate and friendships, family, career stuff. And you could think about where you were then. What advice would you give your 33-year-old self from what you know now? What's the number one thing you would say to support you and just having a little bit more, you know,

fulfillment or peace or getting here faster or, you know, not beating yourself as much up. What would you say to yourself then? I would have sat myself down and had to talk about my own discipline and what it meant to be disciplined in all areas. Because you weren't as disciplined? No, I was, at that time at 33, I was 330 pounds.

You know, I, a lot of, I was drinking all the time, partying all the time. I thought it was cool to be the wild guy, you know, and you know what I'm saying? Wild man. Yeah, and that's how, I was always that way growing up. And, you know, I wish I would have had someone that sat me down and said, bro you know that's not as

cool as you think it is you know i'm saying and you're very undisciplined and you're emotionally undisciplined and if you could develop this discipline now you will get much further ahead at a much faster rate yeah and i think that's the advice that i would have focused on there because i didn't really figure that out until i was about 36 years old. Right. And at that time I was 350 pounds. I was big dude. And you remember, I remember, man, I was going to put my arms around. Yeah. And, uh, you know, once I started figuring that out, man, everything accelerated and it's undeniable. I mean, it's all areas of my life. Everything's gotten much better. Uh, not just from a, you know, success standpoint, but from a happiness standpoint, a fulfillment standpoint and a, um, a feeling of gratitude standpoint, you know what I'm saying? Everything got better

when I, when my discipline, when I learned how to be disciplined and the thing that, you know, people should understand is that discipline is not just about your body. Like we, we talk about it in 75 hard and live hard and it focuses heavily on your physical. But the truth is, is that discipline, once you learn it can be applied to all areas. And so that's the thing that I wish I would have understood at a younger age that had I had the skills to not only be disciplined in a physical, now, you know, I struggle with my physique. Like it wasn't like I had never been in shape before. I had just become

undisciplined. And, you know, I think if I had understood at 33, what that could actually do for me, I would have bought it hook, line, and sinker and dedicated my entire life to it. And gone all in on it. Yeah, for sure. Because, dude, the amount of progress that has happened in my life in all areas from the time I started figuring that out to now is like I did like 20 years worth of, I got 20 years worth of results in like four and a half years. Amazing. You know what I'm saying? And so that's the impact of taking true control over your

existence is that it greatly accelerates everything else. I'm curious then in that, that discipline phase over the last 10 years, what is the one, the one thing you'd change about your thinking sooner? And the one thing you would change about your emotions sooner? Since we are a product of our thoughts and our feelings, you know, our, as Dr. Joe Dispenza says, our, our, our personality becomes our personal reality. So your thoughts, what would you have changed about how you think about yourself? You think about other people, the world life, you know, what would you have changed differently about your thinking and then also your feelings? Well, in regards to feelings, I was on Lexapro

for 11 years. Okay. And there was just a study that came out that showed that Lexapro not only keeps you from being depressed, but it also keeps you from feeling anything. All right. And so when I got off of it, which was last year, uh, which was really, really hard to do, uh, I started feeling things again and I started like, it was weird, dude. Cause like, you, you know, me, like I'm not known as a most like emotional type dude, but like I would have these situations where I would just break down. Like, and it wasn't that these situations where I would just break down like and it wasn't that these situations were overly emotional it's just I hadn't felt any emotions in so long that it hit me really hard things were hitting me hard and um I wish I had understood what that medication was doing to me and I would have looked into it further than just following those the doctors telling me to take

this pill. Because the truth of the matter is, is had I become disciplined and had I controlled the things I control, had I done those things, I wouldn't have needed that. Yeah. You know, and so that's a regret of mine, but it's also a massive learning lesson. I try to talk about it because I want other people to come to that realization. talk about it because I want other people to come to that realization. But, you know, to answer your question, man, you know, I subscribe to the feeling and I know this is, this is not a cop out, but this is how I truly feel.

I truly feel that everything happened the way that it should because it's led me to this point. And I feel like now, you know, I do, I feel like like like if i'm comparing the two versions of myself i was definitely more aggressive in terms of like i mean do you remember my old videos where i'm going crazy but that's that made my brand right so it's like yeah it's hard to like yeah it still comes out it still comes out when i get real passionate, but I wish I had done a better job of controlling that part of me because that part came out too often and it came out in situations where it wasn't appropriate.

For example, like, you know, there's people who I would have a meeting with, right. And like, well, what ended up happening is, is like, they would be afraid that that was going to come out so i didn't get anything good from anybody right right so i sabotaged them and now here i am years later and i like i'm realizing and i'm like that wasn't good right you know what i'm saying and so there's still look what you created yeah you know what i mean yeah but i mean you know uh it's hard it's hard man because i i feel very fortunate to be where we are yeah and so it's hard to really criticize the past but i could tell you this for sure i was thinking about this just earlier today you know had i had like like let's just say me now could talk to me then

in the beginning, like back when I first started in 1999, I could have saved myself probably two thirds of the success journey that I was on just from the shit that I know now that I didn't know then. But more importantly, I could have saved myself tons of mental agony because I could have reassured that, Hey, look, this is just the way it goes. And this is just, this is just part of the deal. And you signed up for this and nobody ever tells you those things. You know what I'm saying? Like when you're getting your face beat in, in business, right? Like it's nobody comes along and says, Hey, it's going to be okay. You don't feel like it's going to be okay. You feel like your world's ending. And, uh, you know, for a lot of people, you know, going back to that third

fear that you mentioned, that's almost like the deal breaker. You know, the minute that their friends or their family or someone that they thought was their friend says one thing about their, their doing, like it's the end like i remember when i first started uh posting is how how my brand got started was i i was on facebook i didn't know what to talk about bro and so what was interesting to me was success and so i just started talking about things that i understood that you need to do like make a little motivational quotes yeah and things you know and dude real talk like i could understand why people thought it was ridiculous like looking back you know, and dude, real talk. Like I could understand why people thought it was ridiculous. Like looking back, you know what I'm saying? Uh, I was broke. I was a struggling

business owner. We weren't very successful. I was not in great shape. So like, I get why people would question it, but I remember posting a couple of times in the very beginning and, you know, people that were in my family, like people that were related to me getting in the very beginning and you know people that were in my family like people that were related to me getting in the comment section and being like who like i remember like i know the exact person and you're not going to say his name you know the day and time you saw i do yeah and i never forget it that's a problem that's a problem for me because i have basically a photographic memory i can remember anything like if i read your book i can recite it to you wow so that's a that's a gift it is a, but it's not a gift when it comes to like that.

Right. Because I remember every single thing, every single thing that anybody ever said wrong to me, I remember it forever. And so this guy who's related to me got in my comment section. He's like, he like laughed and he's like, oh, I guess you think you're Tony Robbins now. And this is somebody that grew grew up looking up to. You looked up to?

Yes. Wow. It was devastating for me. And I got pissed. And I went back at him real hard and called him out on all his shit. But the truth of the matter is, for most people, that first time that happens, because that went on to happen a bunch of different times in different ways, right? The first time that happens, people stop.

And they're like, you know what? I'm not Tony Robbins. And you know what i'm not tony robbins only one tony robbins i'm me you know and is it because they're thinking the same inside like internally they're thinking the same thoughts and now they're getting this external validation of like well the thing is you know i'm saying no no one creating anything meaningful is criticizing someone else no you don't see you never see a winner hating on a winner. And you never see negative comments on an Amazon review from other authors. Yeah. No other author is going to go and say, this book sucks.

This podcast sucks. If they have a podcast, they're not going to do that because they know how hard it is to create something. Even if it does. And there's a base level of respect that you went through the process. Yeah. Like bro,

I've had, I've been asked to have lots of people on my show where their book wasn't that great. So I didn't have them on the process. Like, bro, I've had, I've been asked to have lots of people on my show where their book wasn't that great. So I didn't have them on the show, but I also commended them. And I said, Hey, this is great that you wrote that book. It's just not the right time. And you know, I let them, I don't like hammer them down. I let them continue to grow and eventually they'll end up sitting over there, you know? And so dude, you know, we all deal with these things like every single person listening to this like the the third fear especially the fear of judgment is i think i think

that's the fear that paralyzes most people yeah i think it's i think most people are so afraid and especially with the prevalence of cancel culture over the last five or six years people you know could end your career for a period of time. Bro, it could have hurt you. You and I have opened through it. You know what I'm saying? And, and dude, these, what ends up happening is, and this is the real damage of cancel culture. Okay. I've been canceled a number of times because I'm opinionated. I'm loud. And some people find me obnoxious. I know you guys all love the fuck out of me, but some people don't. All right. I know it's hard to believe. Yeah.

But the reality is, is that, you know, every single time that happened, I grew. My brand grew. My business grew. Everything grew. So I learned to not be afraid of just being who I am. But other people see it. And here's the damage that cancel culture really creates. They get scared. Bro.

And it suppresses their potential i'm not going to say anything i'm not going to do anything there's so much good potential sitting on the sidelines of the game of life because they are afraid of the way that society has behaved towards each other for the last five or six years and dude that's what i think of when i see people going through it man and getting hammered you know every single one of my friends who's really doing anything has been a victim of this culture at some point in time, and when I see them going through it, dude, I know they're going to be okay because, dude, all of us will take care of each other. We'll push each other back to the top, but the reality is that there's so many people that watch that who say,

I don't ever want that to happen to me. I don't want those arrows. Yeah. Yeah. And so the first time they set out to, you know, write a book or, or do something, own a business.

And they get any little criticism. They're like, Oh, here it is. Here it is coming for me. And they stop. And dude, it keeps it.

Like I, I truly believe that cancel culture isn't intentional. Um, propaganda. Idea. To, truly believe that cancel culture is an intentional propaganda idea to make people be more mediocre. It's no different than political correctness or censorship. Political correctness, censorship, these are ideas that were created so that people wouldn't speak up. It's for you to self-censor yourself, okay? Oh, I don't want to say that because that's offensive. We don't have to say that. Well, what if it's true?

You know what I'm saying? So we have all these psychological operations that have been introduced into our culture. And I believe that cancel culture is the most painful one. And I think it's the most intentional one because what it does is it creates a scenario where people are so afraid to even step out and create anything that everybody loses. And so, you know, you guys have to understand, first of all, you shouldn't pile on people that

are doing that. And second of all, you should stand up for them. And third of all, you should remember that even when you hate someone and everybody's palling on them, that's not a good thing. Because other people are witnessing it, and they're deciding right there and then that they're going to be nothing because of that. Right. Yeah, bro. Yeah, man. I love it. Yeah, it's dangerous stuff.

The rant. I love the rant, man. Oh, you know, it goes with that fear of judgment. 100%, man. It hammers it home. I think that's what a lot of us need to learn how to overcome. And again, when we put ourselves in situations where we can totally embarrass ourselves and realize I'm still alive, I'm okay, like everything's going to be okay, and then do it again and again, we only expand and grow not only physically, mentally, but spiritually.

Because when we cleanse the ego, when we put ourselves through that and we do get criticized and judged and we're able to still accept ourselves, our egos get cleansed and we can just get bigger and grow and serve more people. But that takes a lot of courage. And it took me a lot of courage to try to manage it. And I've felt the criticism and things like that time to time. There've been moments where I'm like, maybe I should stop. Maybe I should just pause for a while. And luckily I reached out to some good mentors and were like, this is all going to pass. That's the point. They want you to stop. Exactly. And my fear was like, maybe I should stop. Maybe I should stop posting on social media.

Maybe I should stop my podcast. Maybe I shouldn't do another book because this doesn't feel good. It does not feel good to be attacked. I can tell you that. But when you learn that this is going to happen, no matter what, you're going to be criticized whether you're on your sister's couch and you're going to be criticized whether you're got the business that you got, the size you have. Either way, people are going to discount you and criticize you. So you might as well do something you enjoy and love if you're going to get judged. Yeah.

And you'd rather be criticized a few bucks in your pocket exactly not saying is that do you guys think that also stems too from the the idea that people want like i want a hundred percent of everybody to love you i don't think anyone doesn't want people to love them except for maybe andy but no dude no he's right like there there's a i think there's a big thing to that. I think a lot of people can't understand the basic concept that not everybody is for you and they're not going to be. And you can't please people. No, no matter what you do,

they are not going to like you. And if you, if you bend yourself to, to trying to appease everybody, you lose yourself completely. That was me for a long time, bro. It's a lot of people giving in to please others, giving in to make people like me.

You have to be willing to say, hey, man, it is what it is. Yeah. You know, and that's the truth. And this is what I talk about all the time. You know, you guys in business, like you guys are trying to build a personal brand. You should just accept today that 50% of the population is not going to resonate with you. And in fact, they're going to have a propensity to not like you. So like when you get on your story and you start talking, they're going to say, well,

this guy, that's what those 50% are going to do. You are far better off creating content and being who you are for the people, the 50% that are going to listen and they are going to have a propensity to like you. And then doing yourself in such a great way that these people end up loving you. Yeah. And that's really the game. The game isn't,

you're going to get everybody to love you, dude. It's impossible. But I will tell you this, it still hurts when people don't. Uh-huh. And that's what people, that's what people don't realize. Like you have to,

you have to let it hurt a little bit and then be like, well, those people. And then move on your right. Yeah. And I think it's beautiful what you guys have done here at First Form and also your show is you are unapologetic of your identity and who you are and what you stand for. And it's one of the reasons why it's grown so big.

And there's 100% going to be some people that will never follow, never listen, never buy. Yeah. And that's okay. But it's going to expand you into more of the people that do relate, that do love the way you communicate, that do see what you stand for on those walls here in the studio and in your warehouse. And they represent that same value and vision that you have. And I think you standing for these things, even though others may not like it or may be offended by it, attracts people that do love it. And that's really cool is leaning into your identity more and more and more. That's what allows you to expand. I wanted to follow up with

a question on this because I loved your wisdom and your insights on what you would say to your 33-year-old self. I'm curious if you could go in time to your 53-year-old self and you could reflect back on what you're about to create over these next 10 years because you're about to expand into your vision, into the world, probably even beyond your dreams right now based on what I know you're capable of. Based on what you've done in the last 10 years, it's going to multiply times 10, 100 potentially in the next 10 years. Knowing this is going to happen, knowing the impact, the growth, the service, the success, the fulfillment of the customers, the clients, the people you have around you that they have in their lives now, over 10 years, another decade, what advice would you give yourself

then to yourself now, knowing everything you're about to create? Probably just to keep going, you know what I'm saying? And, and accept the journey for what it is. And I think, you know, I, I, I think when I think about myself that my purpose here is much bigger than business. Yeah. I think it's much, I think we're going to create a great business. You know, we're going to create an iconic brand, but I don't think that's like my, my, like biggest thing. What's your thing?

I think that I was put here to help, and this is going to sound insane, but I believe that I was put here to truly wake people the fuck up so that they can actually understand what freedom truly is. And I believe that I was put here for that mission. I don't think there's anything I can do to stop it. I think that's where my route is going to take me. And I think me building the company and doing all those things is something that will happen as well. But I think probably when I die, people are not going to remember me for that. That's what I think. And I know that probably sounds egotistical to some people, that that's what i think and i know that sound that probably sounds egotistical to some people but like i have so many of these crazy signs that point me that way that and it's such a passionate

thing inside of me that burns inside of me because i recognize the manipulation that's happening and i recognize the the damage that happens because of that and i recognize the damage that happens because of that. And I recognize the greatness that everybody has inside of them. So there's like this mixture of like all these things inside of me where I'm like, Hey, you guys are being lied to and you're being manipulated and you're being conned into becoming a lesser version of yourself. And I think all of these things are going to combine and they're probably going to end up killing me for it. But, but you know, I think that's what things are going to combine and they're probably going to end up killing me for it. But, but, you know, I think that's what I'm here to do. Yeah.

You know, I can't help it. That's beautiful, man. And I think, uh, for me, I love that you said freedom, giving people the ability to feel free and freedom in their life is a beautiful mission. Two years ago, I didn't feel free inside. You know, I'm a physically free man. Well, that's giving, well, are we? Well, I mean, I'm not behind a prison. How much tax do you pay?

I'm not in a prison. I'm just saying. Right, right. Well, I am in California, so I don't know what. I mean, bro, we live in a highly oppressive environment that is accepted as freedom. Sure. And so- Well, let me, yeah, I mean, so I mean, I'm not behind bars. I'm not behind bars. Yeah, yeah.

You know what I mean? I'm not, I'm free to do certain things. But you're bringing up a great point because what you're, go ahead, because what you're saying is truly a massive part of freedom. Yeah. For me, it's, it's the inner freedom, right? I mean, um, you know, I had a brother that went to prison for four and a half years. He was sentenced six to 25.

I was eight years old when he went in. Uh, and he sold drugs to an unrecovered cop when he was 19, when he was in college. And back in the 90s, it was the war against drugs, especially in America, right? And so first offense, six to 25 years. Every weekend for four years, almost every weekend, we would drive two hours to a prison and be able to spend a few hours with my brother. And I don't know, there'd be 30, 40 other convicts in the room and their families, right? So every weekend I witnessed what it was like and experienced it, you know, next to him.

And just the energy of the room is kind of intense. What it feels like to be in a prison. I've never experienced that. Thankfully, I never want to. It's one of the reasons why I never drank, never smoked, never did drugs because I was like, I don't even want to be influenced to get to this place because I saw the suffering and I saw that it was very painful for a lot of people and their families, people that were impacted by it. However, there were some men there that truly felt free, that looked free, and their energy was free and light.

They had done whatever they did to process and mend and heal and forgive and accept, and they felt free even though they were behind bars. There's a lot of people that you know that are not behind bars, and they are in a mental and emotional prison. Absolutely. And that, for me, is is a massive crime being physically free, not behind bars, but not being free, but not being free. I don't think that's greatness. And, and I didn't have freedom in my heart or in my mind fully. There were moments and times,

but I still felt like a prisoner of my emotions in my mind until a couple of years ago, until I went on a deeper healing journey. And you've heard me talk about being sexually abused when I was a kid and a lot of other things. I started healing a lot of these things, but I realized that I didn't heal enough of it where I fully accepted who I was and forgave myself for everything that I was ashamed of, guilty of, insecure of from my entire past.

And I started on the journey. And this journey was one of the scariest things I've ever done emotionally a couple years ago. And by diving into these elements of my past that I was the most ashamed of and starting to create new meaning from those memories, new meaning from the pain, the hurt, the things I did that I wasn't proud of, things that I did that I was ashamed of, insecure of, all this stuff, and created new meaning and started to bring that meaning into my heart and accept it. That's when I started to, the pain in my chest that I had off and on for years disintegrated and it hasn't come back since.

for years disintegrated and it hasn't come back since. And it's been a beautiful feeling to have peace in my heart and to feel freedom, even though I'm paying taxes and all these other things. There's levels to it. Yes. There's levels to it. But to feel free in my mind and my heart and my soul, it really is an unbelievable feeling. And it doesn't mean i don't get frustrated and have to deal with stuff from my you know let's dig in on this yeah because this this is an important thing that that that is very very important for people to understand especially those of you who are young you may not understand this yet but those of you who are a little bit older and have witnessed some life and done some things, the idea of forgiving yourself is a confusing idea for people. Okay. And what you just described is the actual process of doing that. And so many people live with guilt

and shame because of the things they were in the past, not realizing that you are no longer that person, right? Even a year ago, you're not the same person you were a year ago. And when you look back and you feel guilty about all these things that you've done, you should realize that doing those things is the reason that you now realize that those things are not good to do. They're not right. Yeah. So they actually served you in a productive way. And furthermore, I have this, you know, this thing that I tell people when, because I get asked about forgiveness of self and bro, real talk. I struggle with it too. Yeah. Okay. It's not easy, man. No, it's not.

But the one thing that really helped me was, was what you said, assigning a new meeting, understanding that this happened so that I could get here. And you wouldn't be here without it. Yes. And not only would I not be here, if I hadn't learned that lesson, I'd be doing the same from here on out. And that's a powerful thing to really give yourself credit for. And then also, you know, a lot of people feel guilt and shame over stupid. That is like really stupid. That no one cares about.

Yeah. And so like, dude, here's my advice to those of you. Okay. There's two elements to this forgiveness and probably more Lewis, you know, you, you might have a lot to say about this, but what Lewis just said is extremely powerful. A sign of meaning to these things that you did and understand that you are no longer that person and give yourself the freedom to recognize that. Okay.

And let, let that go. You're, you're not that person. And that's another thing cancel culture does, right? It makes us afraid of the from 10 years ago. Well, bro, 10 years ago, I was an idiot. I don't know what to tell you. You know what I'm saying? Like, so, and so were you probably okay so let's be real about these bad things that we have said or done

or in our lives and let's understand that they brought us to a point where we now recognize that those things uh were not good and now we have wisdom about it yes and we could share that exactly that's what allows us to share that with people on the path. DJ is 27 years old. I get to share a lot of things with him that he wouldn't have heard otherwise. Here's the thing. There's another way to look at it too. And this really helped me a lot. How would you react if you were sitting in front of you and you, instead of being you, was just a friend of yours, okay? And you're sitting there and you're telling and spouting and venting about all these things you feel guilty about. How would you actually react to it? How you would likely react is you

would say, bro, come on, man. Everybody does dumb shit. Everybody does dumb everybody right like you did some dumb everybody does them and then you would say but it's good you're not doing it yeah right and then you would make fun of him be like yeah that's pretty dumb right one time yeah and then you would move on exactly you know and so like if we could if we could stop and analyze our own guilt and shame and then address it as you would address it if a friend were confiding in you. I think that's been very helpful for me. Yeah. And I think that's the healing journey. It's not a destination or a one-time thing. It's an ongoing journey of understanding that I've got to integrate these lessons. I've got to keep mending and growing beyond the old self that

was hurting myself or other people. And the thing that I love about you, what you said a few minutes ago is that you see the masterpiece in everyone. And so you see their greatness in them, even when they don't see it themselves. I believe that I look at people the same way. I want them, I see what's possible and I see where they're at now, the vision and how they can get there if they just overcame a few things. And a lot of it is how we beat up ourselves from the past stuff we did. And if we can do what you said, which is heal, I call it healing, but if we can address process. I stay away from that term. Yeah, yeah.

But it's all good. Yeah, exactly. But if we can address it, process it in a healthy way and integrate the wisdom, for me, that's healing. If we can do that. Now it's a fair word. Yeah, exactly. I get, that's healing. If we can do that. Now it's a fair word. Yeah, exactly. I get it.

Healing may not be talked about in this show, but that's how I speak about it. Because really, I don't think you can have freedom without healing. No, you can't. So call it what you want, but I think you've got to integrate. I'm just teasing you. And I think if people want to be the masterpiece that they're born to be, if they want to be able to step into that greatness that they are able to step into, we must at some point mend and create meaning from the past things that hold us back.

We must come to a place of I'm processing this. I'm no longer going to be defined by these things. I'm going to move into the masterpiece that I'm capable of creating. And that's what the whole process is about. masterpiece that I'm capable of creating. And that's what the whole process is about. It's about mending, healing, and moving forward into a meaningful mission. Not just about me. How can I fill up me and succeed and win and prove people wrong? It's about how can I fill up all of us around me? How can I fill up we and serve by leaning into my talents and gifts and doing something beyond me? And that's what

you've done so beautifully here. It's bigger than you. And it impacts so many people in the world. Thank you, bro. I, you know, there's people listening right now and they're like, yeah, but I did this and this and that, bro. Listen, you didn't reinvent the world. We've all, there's plenty of people who have done whatever it is, whatever it is that you, you know, are, are ashamed of or held in guilt for. It doesn't matter what it is, bro. We all have those things in our past. Every single, if people were truly honest and like you could see people's true lives,

like everybody would feel a lot better because they'd be like us. And here's the thing. The thing that was pretty bad, bro. Okay. That's kind of up, but die. You're a little, you're like, oh, and here's the thing. The thing that I was pretty bad with that. Okay. That's kind of up, but die. You a little, you messed up. Well, here's the thing. You know what?

It's one of those. What's crazy is, you know, I've talked about this many times that I was sexually abused when I was five years old by a man that I didn't know. Right. Not a family member, but a man that I didn't know. And for 25 years, no one knew this about me, except for me. It was, I was riddled with shame and insecurity thinking to myself, if anyone knew this, specifically any men or guy friends of this knew this about me, no one would accept me.

No one would love me. They would all want to just kick me out of their group and I would have no community and I would be a loser forever. That was the fear that I lived with for 25 years. So I amassed a sense of false confidence to try to fit in. But really, I was really deeply wounded and insecure and afraid that if people actually knew what had happened to me, no one would accept me. So it's a huge fear and an insecurity. And here's the crazy thing. One in six men in America have been sexually abused. So you think about all the men in this place.

I don't know how many men work here, but it's probably a few hundred. There's likely a lot of people here, and they've probably never spoken about it. Or maybe that hasn't happened to them, but they were manipulated by an abusive father. They were beaten. They were this. Or they were abandoned. Whatever it might be. And they haven't addressed it.

We're talking real. Real. We're talking made up victimhood. No, no. We're talking about this actually happened. Stuff happened. We ain't making no post about it. That's right. I know you went through a lot of stuff.

Yeah. That you've talked about publicly and privately. And I think it doesn't mean we have to talk about it all over the social media and say these things of what have happened to us, but I feel like we must learn to address it with our, with ourselves, with a friend, with a coach.

I don't care how you address it, but you've got to learn to speak it into existence or write it down so that you can get it out of you. So it doesn't poison you. And sometimes it is appropriate to, if you feel the need to say it on social, that's okay. It empowers other people.

Here's what's not okay what's not okay is telling the same story for the next 20 years and using as an excuse as to why you didn't progress from there on exactly that's what's not what did you do about it yeah that's right now what exactly so anyways i feel like especially with men and i know you got a lot of men listening and watching it's's like, get the poison out. Whatever the shame and the thing that you haven't forgiven yourself that you've done or that others have done to you, find a way to process however you want to and get it out of you so that you can become a masterpiece.

Bro, I'm super excited for your book to get out there. Thanks, man. When does it actually come out? March 7th drops. Okay. This is what it looks like for you guys on YouTube. We doing youtube now i love it man yeah we just started oh man you should have done that years ago i know bro well i think you told me that and i just wait it's gonna blow up for you it's gonna blow up man yeah i uh it's been cool so far you know it's still

pretty slow we're getting uh we're getting shadow banned on youtube for the cursing so like they have green yellow and red apparently and i'm in the yellow so it's you know which is like i thought we were surprised but there but these guys are working on getting that taken care of youtube promised me that if i if i uh uploaded full episodes that they would make sure that didn't happen so we're working on getting that taken care of but it's been cool i think it's giving people a different ass uh different um like i think it's different for people when they just listen versus when they watch.

Yeah, man. And you're going to get a whole new audience. Yeah. We've got almost like, I mean, 2.6, 2.7 million subscribers on our main channel. Yeah. On YouTube? On YouTube. Yeah, that's awesome.

And we got 100 million views last year on the main channel. Yeah. And we dub in Spanish. Okay, that's awesome. And we got 50 million views on our Spanish channel. Yeah, you're killing it. So you're going to be able to really impact more lives because people are going to discover you on YouTube more. Yeah.

And it's just going to expand your reach. You know what I found too also on YouTube, which I think is really cool, and a shout out to everybody that watches on YouTube, is that the comments that people make are much more real comments. Yeah, it's good. It's not trolling. It's like they actually give it. And I think the culture on YouTube is better it is um you know Instagram is so trolly it's just like somebody bots yeah yeah dude it's just like they need to clean it up yeah um anyhow this is the book and I think you guys I got to skim through it for about 15 minutes before we started the show.

I haven't read it yet. I am going to read it. It's going to be my next book I read on 75 Hard. But the main thing that I want to make you guys understand is that Lewis understands what the fuck is going on. He's interviewed very well some of the greatest minds that are alive right now. I mean, dude, mean dude hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of them and i'm not saying thousands because i'm sure there were some duds along the way right but the reality was this dude understands and he's done a lot of great things in in uh in

his life and i hope you guys support him by buying his book um and bro i appreciate you coming on sharing today thanks brother thanks for having me yeah It's really good to see you, too. It's good to see you, brother. Yeah, it's been a couple years. Missed you, man. Yeah, likewise, bro. I'm going to give you a bigger bear hug when we leave, too. Yeah, yeah. Thanks, bro.

So anything you want to leave them with? I just love that you are a big believer that every human being is a masterpiece waiting to come out, and I would leave people with that. If there's something you feel like you haven't done yet, or you haven't said yet, or you haven't stepped up into yet, whether inside of you or outside of you, now's the time. I think your show is an amazing platform for people to find meaning and create consistent discipline in their life.

I just love seeing everyone who's doing 75 hard constantly. I still haven't done it fully myself. You know, I got to get the courage to complete that thing fully, but I love seeing other people transform their mind and their discipline from that. I'm a pretty disciplined guy in other ways, but I love seeing that being a catalyst for so many. And I would just encourage people to keep listening to you, watching you. If you're new to YouTube, make sure you subscribe and share this out because I love this conversation.

Lean into your masterpiece and be disciplined and consistent along the way. I got to keep it real. Bro, I love you, man. Love you too, man. Thanks, brother. I appreciate you coming on the show. Thanks, man. All right, guys.

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