The School of Greatness - How To Build Wealth & Create An Abundant Financial Future

Episode Date: November 8, 2024

In this powerful masterclass on building wealth, I brought together leading financial experts Jaspreet Singh, Vivian Tu, and Mark Matson to dive deep into the psychology of money and reveal the hidden... truths about creating lasting wealth. We explore how your money mindset shapes your financial future, why most people struggle to build wealth despite making good money, and what separates those who achieve financial freedom from those who remain stuck. From breaking free of limiting money beliefs to understanding the surprising truth about happiness and wealth, this episode delivers game-changing insights that will transform how you think about and handle money. Whether you're just starting your wealth-building journey or looking to take your finances to the next level, this masterclass provides the blueprint for moving from scarcity to abundance.Get Vivian's book Rich AF: The Winning Money Mindset That Will Change Your Life Grab Mark’s book, Experiencing The American DreamIN THIS EPISODE YOU WILL LEARNWhy your beliefs about money are more important than your income and how to transform a scarcity mindset into an abundance mindsetThe five critical steps to building wealth, regardless of your starting point or current income levelHow to advance in your career and increase your income by mastering both technical skills and relationship buildingThe truth about why money alone can't make you happy and how to find fulfillment while building wealthThe destructive cycle of wealth that keeps people trapped and unhappy despite high incomesFor more information go to https://www.lewishowes.com/1691For more Greatness text PODCAST to +1 (614) 350-3960More SOG episodes we think you’ll love:Jaspreet Singh – greatness.lnk.to/1644SCVivian Tu – greatness.lnk.to/1551SCMark Matson – greatness.lnk.to/1675SC

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to this special masterclass. We've brought some of the top experts in the world to help you unlock the power of your life through this specific theme today. It's going to be powerful. So let's go ahead and dive in. The first step to building wealth is to start with the money mindset, the beliefs that you have around money and understand number one, that you can become wealthy, not just that you can become wealthy, you will become wealthy and that money is abundant.
Starting point is 00:00:36 There's a lot of money in the world, right? When people start to enter this financial education space, we start to assume that if you're rich, I can't be rich. If you have money, I can't have money. So it starts to create that jealousy or just this negative association with, oh my god I don't want to tell you my business idea because what if you steal and take my money? Well, both of us can have money because there's a lot of money in the world. If you look at it from a financial perspective, the better reserve bank is printing trillions and trillions of
Starting point is 00:01:04 dollars. There's a lot of money out there. You just need a small sliver of it and you can have millions and live a life of true financial freedom. And not just that understanding that money is a tool. Because the reason why we put these smoke screens around money, that money's bad, it's taboo, it's evil, is because many times people are insecure about their own money. And so when I people are insecure about their own money. And so when I can't go out and buy the nice vacation for my kids, I can't buy my husband that thing that he wants, I can't buy my wife that YSL or Gucci purse that she wants, I can't go on the nice vacations,
Starting point is 00:01:36 well, you know, money's bad. We shouldn't stress about money. It's these stupid vacations. We don't need those. We can enjoy our time here. It's such a scam to go out there and sit on an all-inclusive beach and have food delivered to you.
Starting point is 00:01:50 Right, I mean, we start to create these smoke screens where, oh, why would anybody want to have an expensive car like that? Why would anybody want to have these nice and expensive things? Judging people who have money, yeah. And so now it's, you know what? If you don't want it, that's completely fine,
Starting point is 00:02:04 but make sure you can afford it. And understanding now, money is not going to make you a good person. It's also not going to make you a bad person. It's just a piece of paper. It's fuel. It amplifies who you are. When you have more of that money, you can do more of the things that money can buy. One of those things is have freedom, have options. Options to choose what you want to buy, options to choose where you want to eat, options to choose when you want to go on vacation, not just can you go on vacation, and options to choose how you want to live your life. And not just that, unfortunately or fortunately, depending on how you look at it, it also can influence what type of healthcare you can get, what
Starting point is 00:02:42 type of healthcare your parents can get, what type of healthcare your you can get, what type of health care your parents can get, what type of health care your kids can get, what type of college your kids can go to, what type of education your kids can go to. It matters. And so now at the end of the day, you can hate it or you can understand it. And so we create these smoke screens without really understanding
Starting point is 00:02:59 how money plays a part in our life. Because at the end of the day, money talks. And the people who have money will get to be able to live their freedom and the people who don't, you become subservient to the people who have money. And I don't say that to be mean. I say this to be factual. The facts. Yeah. What I'm hearing you say is if every individual watching or listening
Starting point is 00:03:22 does not take 100% responsibility for their beliefs around money. They will pass on generational money traumas to their children or the people around them because they'll be speaking beliefs that are limiting instead of abundant. Absolutely. And so how does someone who has been conditioned for decades around certain money beliefs, all of a sudden educate themselves, get the tools, get the information and say, no, everything I've been taught for the last 20, 30 years
Starting point is 00:03:59 of my life is a lie around money. Yeah. And therefore, you know, have I been living a lie myself? Am I a fraud? Are these people that I've been telling me this, can I trust them? My parents, like, your whole world blows up, essentially. It does.
Starting point is 00:04:15 It blows up. And so how does someone navigate the emotions of, oh, all these things my parents who I love, who are well-intended have taught me around money, have kind of been holding me back. And I understand they try to protect me, but it's really limited me. How do we deal with that?
Starting point is 00:04:32 And then start educating ourselves to break free of money limits, so money scarcity, of money insecurity, so that we can have more financial peace and emotional peace around money. I think you got to start with this understanding if somebody doesn't have what it is that you want you probably shouldn't listen to them on how to get where you want to go and Your parents might have the best intentions your family might have the best intentions But they might not know how to get to where you want to go. Right.
Starting point is 00:05:07 The common saying is don't listen to a fat person on how to lose weight. Take that for whatever it's worth. Well, a broke person on how to make money. You know, my parents and a lot of traditional Indian immigrants, you come to a new country like America with very little, you work very hard. Now you want your kids to have a better life. And if you don't have financial education, you're going to say that the best way to do that is go and become a doctor.
Starting point is 00:05:34 That's why you see so many Indian people become doctors is because your parents beat it into you since the day you're one. I'm speaking from 100% experience here because since I was young, my parents said that I need to go and become a doctor because if you become a doctor, you're going to number one, have that doctor title. So you're going to have the status. Someone's going to want to marry you and you're going to be able to make a lot of money and be rich. But what I learned was there's a disconnect between being a doctor and being financially wealthy. Those are two different things because we assume that if you go to school, get good
Starting point is 00:06:10 grades, you make more money and you become more wealthy. But there's also a difference between making more money and building wealth. What's the difference between making money and building wealth? Well, some people who have made millions and millions of dollars died with nothing in their name. Died being broke and lived broke. Dealing wealth is really a matter of time and freedom. And what I mean by that is I can make a million dollars a year and be broke, which a lot of
Starting point is 00:06:39 people actually are. We're out here not far from Beverly Hills. And a lot of people are making a lot of money, but are broke. And I see this all the time because I work in this financial education space where I have met countless doctors because I talk about this a lot. People who are making three, four, five, $600,000 a year, they have no savings, no investments and no idea where to start.
Starting point is 00:07:01 Because when you start to make more money, you first think if I had an additional $ start to make more money, you first think, if I had an additional $100,000 a year, oh my God, I could do so many things. Because we think in terms of spending, if I had $10,000 a month, what would I do? Well, I would first go to Cancun. I'd buy myself a nicer car. I'd go on a nicer, you know, whatever. And that's how we consume. That's how we think. We're conditioned to think that way. That America is a consumer nation. We are the largest consumers of things in the world. I like to say that Americans make a dollar to spend $2. Traditional Indian mindset people make a dollar
Starting point is 00:07:37 to spend 20 cents because they're conditioned to save. Not saying either one of these is right, they're both wrong. But when most people are conditioned to consume and spend, you make more and you spend more. And you might think, well, how can you spend a million dollars a year? It's very easy. It is very easy to spend a million dollars a year. You start buying some nice homes, start going on some expensive vacations. You start buying some expensive clothes and there goes a million dollars a year. Gone.
Starting point is 00:08:02 And that's what happens to a lot of people. So we talk about the difference between building wealth and making a lot of money. You gotta take the money that you earn and not spend it. And you gotta put this to work. So let me break this down this way. Becoming wealthy comes down to five steps. And I've talked about it in many different forms,
Starting point is 00:08:23 but I'm gonna break it down into the simplest root thing you have to understand. Number one is you got to earn money. And people say, how do I earn money? It doesn't matter. It could be a side hustle, it could be a business, it could be a job. You could have some money coming in. Once you make some money, number two is you don't spend all of your money. And that means when you make a thousand dollars, you don't spend all thousand dollars. How much do you spend? Let's not worry about the nitty gritty yet. Just don't spend all of your money. Well, most people make a thousand dollars and they spend 1500.
Starting point is 00:08:48 Yeah. They use their credit card to spend more than what they have because they think, well, I'll be able to pay this off next month because I have another thousand dollars coming in. Exactly. And then they get into more and more debt because they're over consuming. You'll never build wealth. You'll never get rich. You'll never have any freedom.
Starting point is 00:09:02 And so you can't spend all your money. Which is why number three is you take the money you don't spend and you go out and you buy an investment. We'll call it the middle man and you'll see why I call it the middle man. Is you want to take this money don't spend and you want to essentially throw it into this thing on the side that will hopefully make you some more money in the long term. Then number four, when your investment makes money, take the money that your investments make and dump it back into your investments. And then number five is work to make more money. And the reason why you're working to make more money is so
Starting point is 00:09:39 you can have more investments. Now let me explain why this is so difficult because it makes sense in theory, right? You're never going to become wealthy if every time you make a dollar you give it to somebody else. If you want to become wealthy you have to keep more money for yourself. The way that our economic system works is the more money you spend the richer somebody else gets. It's you know hated or loved but that's the reality. When you go to Chipotle and you buy that extra guac Chipotle is making more money when you go to Amazon you spend more money Amazon's making money Now this can make some people extremely wealthy, but it also keeps the majority of people broke financially Mmm, and so this is where if you want to make yourself rich you got to stop making everybody else rich right now
Starting point is 00:10:22 You got to first make yourself rich and And that means stop giving other people your money. And there are so many extremes to how you can do this. Right. I mean, you could go to that that one extreme where I am not going to spend anything. I'm going to live in a shoe box and I'm going to eat nothing but rice and beans. And I'm going to stack all my money.
Starting point is 00:10:41 Fine. Other people will find a more balanced approach and you got to find what's right. Yeah. Yeah. I'll spend a certain amount on the things I like, but I'm not going to overspend. stack all my money, fine. Other people will find a more balanced approach and you gotta find what's right for you. Yeah, yeah. I'll spend a certain amount on the things I like, but I'm not gonna overspend. Or I like it where you just say, I'm going to reinvest a certain amount of my money
Starting point is 00:10:54 every single month of the money that's coming in, whether it's a paycheck or your business. I'm gonna take that money. This much is going every month into my investments, whatever that might be. And then if I wanna spend the rest on a vacation or, you know, extra guacamole or whatever it is, cool, enjoy your life as well. You don't have to live the most frugal life as well. You don't have to be so extreme. But I think first, take your money to invest.
Starting point is 00:11:20 Then spend on some activities and events and go to concerts. Cool, I get it. And you got to find your balance. For me, I was on an extreme. When I first learned about this, I went extreme because I first, when I was making money first, I was running an event planning company. I didn't know anything about money. I took my money and I bought nice watches and I dumped it back into my car. I mean, that's what I thought was normal.
Starting point is 00:11:43 But as you start to learn, you realize, or if you start to become more financially educated, you realize that that doesn't do anything for your wealth, right? There's no wealth built into tricking out your car. There's no wealth built into suspended money on nice things. It looks nice and it's nice if you want to have it, it's fine, but that's not going to make you wealthy. And you got to decide what's more important to you. So then I completely tipped the scale and I started not spending any money.
Starting point is 00:12:08 So I'd have more money to invest for me. It started off in real estate. And now it's this slow process. The reason why it's so difficult is because if you make $10,000, it's a lot of money to put aside, right? You have a work to make 10 grand, but you can't show off a $10,000 stock market portfolio the way you can a $10,000 watch or a $10,000 vacation. Cause I can take those things and I can put it on my Instagram. I could put it on my Facebook. I could put it on TikTok.
Starting point is 00:12:36 And I can show these things off and they get a lot of likes and they get a lot of oohs and ahs. But my stock market portfolio just sits there. Slowly you'll start to generate a little bit of income. And I think understanding you're going to make a lot of money in your lifetime. I don't care how much money you're making. If you make 50 grand a year, in the next 10 years, you're going to make half a million dollars. In the next two decades, you're going to make a million dollars.
Starting point is 00:13:00 Wow. Assuming you never get another raise, which means you're going to make millions of dollars over the course of your career and most people will have nothing to show for it. And when I say most people, I don't say this generally, I mean statistically, most people will have nothing to show for it. Which means now, as you go through life earning this money, what are you doing it for? Are you doing it to look rich or are you doing it to actually build wealth? And you got to decide that for you, right? I can't come here and tell you, Oh, it's important for you to build wealth. And then you listen to me, you got to decide that for yourself because you want to take better care of
Starting point is 00:13:33 yourself, your wife, your husband, and your kids and your parents. And you want to have a better future than today. And that's what investing is really for. What would you say if someone is making between 5050,000 to $100,000 a year, and they want to break free of the system? They want to overcome the urges and desires and temptations of society, where they have to show off to police people that don't care about them and they don't care about?
Starting point is 00:14:04 And they want to start setting themselves up for a greater future. It's gonna take time, but over 10, 20, 30 years, they can potentially have a million dollars worth of investments or beyond. Or more. Or more. So if someone's making between $50,000 and $100,000 right now, 2024,
Starting point is 00:14:23 what should they be thinking about in terms of building wealth? What's a couple of steps or a system they can put in place if they have zero financial education, if they haven't, they don't even have the right beliefs, but they could start setting themselves up for five, 10, 20 years in the future where they're going to say, wow, I'm so glad I made those, those few steps that Jaspreet told me to do back in the day. What would those steps be? Well, the first thing is understanding that even if you make it 50 grand a year,
Starting point is 00:14:48 you can retire a millionaire and live a life of financial freedom if you start taking action. Now, the thing that everybody likes to talk about, I'll give the end goal and I'll show how to actually do it because everybody says if you invest $100 a month from age 21 to 65, you'll have over a million dollars when it comes time for you to retire. Okay, how, where, when, and you know, what do I do? So number one, understanding the numbers, the math will show you that you can become a millionaire. Now you got to dissect the how do I actually go about doing it because everybody
Starting point is 00:15:20 says investor money, but what does that mean? So, and where do I invest in the stock market, individual stocks, funds, real estate, real estate funds, apartments, you know, it's crypto gold, like what am I supposed to do? So you start by not spending all of your money. A simple thing that I've talked about is my 75 1510 plan, which means for every dollar that I earn, 75 cents is the
Starting point is 00:15:42 maximum that I can spend 15 cents is the minimum I'm putting aside to invest. 10 cents is the minimum I'm putting aside to save. Now the first thing everybody says when I say that is, Jaspreet, how in the world am I going to live off of three quarters of every dollar that I earn? I'm already struggling to survive. Well, you got to make this decision right now, which is what's more important to you right now? Do you want to build your future wealth or do you want to continue having the nice things? Then everybody says, just believe I'm already living tight. Like I, what do you mean? I'm already living paycheck to paycheck.
Starting point is 00:16:14 Things are already tough. Well, I'm going to just, all I can do is give you the reality and the reality is it's going to be harder next year. It's going to be even more difficult the year after that. And it's going to get even more difficult the year after that. And it's going to get even more difficult the year after that. The path to building wealth is not that complicated. You have to have some money. You have to put this money aside for investments. If you're spending all of your money, you're never going to build wealth. And now you got to figure out what are you going to cut out. But just breathe. I've got my parents who need support. I've got family members who are
Starting point is 00:16:43 struggling. I've got my friends that want to go out on the bars three times a week and concerts and activities and I gotta buy nice clothes for my job and I've gotta commute to work and I've gotta do all these things that cost a lot of money. Yeah. Jaspery, what do I do?
Starting point is 00:16:59 Where you put your focus, you're gonna see the biggest results. If you wanna lose weight, you gotta put your focus in the gym. You got to put your focus on your diet. If you want to advance in your career, you got to put more focus on your job and learning how do you advance in your career. If you want to build more wealth, you got to put your focus on learning how to do that and changing the way you
Starting point is 00:17:18 spend your money. And it's really just a matter of priorities. I used to guest teach in Detroit public schools. Obviously our office teach in Detroit public schools. Uh, I'm obviously our offices in Detroit, but I used to guest teach in Detroit public schools and some really rough school districts. And these kids were smart, hard workers, but many of them grew up in troubled homes. Most of the kids did not have two parents in a home. The vast majority of kids did not have two parents in a home.
Starting point is 00:17:44 The vast majority of kids had no guidance or leadership. Some of the kids were already affiliated with gangs in high school because they didn't have anywhere else to go and the gangs literally provided them food. So now when you're quote unquote- And community. And community. When your brothers are providing you food, they're trying to take care of you. You don't think of it as a bad thing. Now, here's the interesting part of you focus on the financial side. I came in as a guest teacher just to talk about life. And I would talk about, you know, just general
Starting point is 00:18:14 motivation, and you can become successful, starting with the mindset side of things, but also getting a little bit into the financial side, because the kids there wanted nice things like every other high school kid in the world does. They wanted cool sneakers and clothes and whatever. Which is no different than any other high school kid. The difference is many of these kids here were also working jobs. They were working to earn money while going to school.
Starting point is 00:18:37 And so we talked to the kids about money like, okay, you're working to earn money. Great. What are you doing with this money? I get paid. I go to the local liquor store. I cash in my check. The liquor store owner takes one to 10% of the check. I buy a bunch of things and I walk out and then I have half of my paycheck left. Okay. Well,
Starting point is 00:18:54 what about these new Jordans that you got? Because that was a big thing in the school that I'm talking about, particularly with kids were really minded up to buy the J's, the Jordans. And I remember this so vividly because I remember kids would saying, I'm not going to eat because I wanna save the eight bucks so I can buy these shoes. It's a matter of priorities where true story,
Starting point is 00:19:17 some kids are prioritizing the Jordans over the food that I eat. And so life is really a matter of priorities now. If building wealth is really a priority, that means you're gonna have to de-prioritize some other things that you're spending money on. Now, this is where people get into those arguments of, does that mean I should stop buying Starbucks?
Starting point is 00:19:36 Look, Starbucks is $5 a day, say whatever it might be. More than enough. Whatever it is, right? Which, you know, if you put that in a compound interest calculator, yeah, it could be worth a million dollars. But now let's take a step back and look at some of the biggest purchases.
Starting point is 00:19:51 The number one largest expense for most people besides taxes. Car. Oh, you live. Yeah, yeah. And then your car. And so now let's start with those two things. Can you live somewhere smaller and save a few hundred bucks a month? I still rent today.
Starting point is 00:20:03 Yeah. I own the portfolio of rental properties. I invest in stocks. I invest in startups. I run Briefs Media, my company. We have an office, an expensive office in downtown Detroit, but I also rent where I live. Are you going to feel bad for me because I rent?
Starting point is 00:20:20 I hope not. We demonize the wrong things. Let's stop normalizing buying BMWs in our 20s and start normalizing buying assets. Because it's very easy to demonize, oh, you're renting, you're paying somebody else's mortgage, you're you're making somebody else rich, why not build your own equity? Well, let's actually dissect the financial argument here, because it has good merits, right? People coming at this from a good perspective that you have to own a home to build wealth. That's what people have made the American dream to own a home. But in reality, the American dream is the ability to build wealth.
Starting point is 00:20:56 People just assume building wealth means buying a home. Who did that? Well, none other than the bankers and the realtors. I used to be, well, I still am a licensed realtor. And one of the things they teach you when you become a realtor, especially if you're learning how to sell, if you talk to people about buying their biggest investment ever. And if you're buying your biggest investment, keyword investment ever, it's a little bit easier to get you to think about buying a little bit bigger and a little bit nicer because now you're buying for your kids. You're buying to build a generational wealth. You're buying something that you can build equity in. But let's talk about this for a second. When you go and rent, the thing everybody says is you're going and paying your landlord's mortgage. When you go and buy something
Starting point is 00:21:41 on Amazon, did anybody ever say you're paying Jeff Bezos' mortgage? Or whoever the other owners are, the CEOs? You're paying Starbucks' mortgage? Yeah, yeah. Because you are. When you go and eat at a nice restaurant, did you ever think that you're paying the chef's mortgage? Because you are.
Starting point is 00:21:54 When you go and get a drink from Starbucks, do you ever think that I'm paying for that barista's mortgage? Because you are. So you're getting a value. Now let's talk about, okay, well I'm building equity in your home. Yeah, that's great. Nothing wrong with that. But banks are also smart and they front load their mortgages. What does that mean? That means for the first, if you get a 30 year mortgage, for the first 14 and a half years out of a 30 year mortgage. Paying interest. The majority of your payment
Starting point is 00:22:23 is going directly to interest, which means for the first year, almost all of your monthly payment is going in interest. So if I'm making $1,000 a month in my mortgage, year one, I have built essentially zero equity because all that money I paid in year one, or almost all of it is going directly to my bankers pockets. And it's not until year 15 that half of my mortgage payment is going to build equity. So yeah, you are building equity, but it takes a long time. But what ends up happening before year 15 is people go and refinance.
Starting point is 00:22:56 And when you refinance, you're starting that process all over again. And so this is where, again, I'm not against home ownership. I think it's a great thing for the right person at the right time. Just make sure you can afford it. And at the end of the day, the way you build wealth is not by buying a home. The way you build wealth is not by becoming a doctor. The way you build wealth is not by becoming a NBA player. The way you build wealth is by using your money to buy investments.
Starting point is 00:23:20 I called it the middle man a little bit earlier. The reason why I call it a middle man is because it's so difficult and you really have to think of it as like a delayed process. When I make $10,000 it takes a lot of time and effort and energy to make the $10,000 right? Well what do you want to do when you make this? You want to show it off. But instead if I take the $10,000 and I put it in an investment I don't see anything of it. A 10% return on $1,000 is a hundred bucks. A 10% return on $10,000 is a thousand dollars. And it might take a year to get the 10% return.
Starting point is 00:23:52 It could take two years. Well, if you keep doing that though, what you'll start to realize is that a 10% return on a hundred grand is $10,000. And a 10% return on a million dollars is $100,000 and a 10% return on a million dollars. It's a hundred thousand dollars, right? It takes time to grow and build, but you got to get started. It starts with one, right? People say, Oh, I got, I can't see any real returns, real money until I invest a million dollars. Well, the way you get to that million dollars is you start with one. Yes. Right.
Starting point is 00:24:20 You're from Ohio, right? In the Midwest, it gets cold during the winter times. Okay. Detroit's a little better than Ohio, but what happens is, when the winter time comes and you want to build a snowman, you start with a small snowball. It's this big, okay? You put it on the ground, and if you want to build a snowman, you start to roll it. In the beginning, you're not seeing any growth. The snowball stays small. But if you keep rolling, you stick with it, you keep rolling, it starts to get a little bigger, and then a little while by, it goes a little bigger. And then once it gets bigger, every time you turn the snowball, it gets a lot bigger, a lot quicker.
Starting point is 00:24:54 Because there's so much more surface area. And that's what you're doing when you're investing your money is you are working to build. The beginning part sucks. There's no way around it. You got to start by spending around it. You got to start by spending less money. You got to start by investing your money and you see no returns because the markets might be going up, they might be going down. You might lose money. You might be seeing, I mean, that's a part of the process. And you're like, what? I'm investing my money for six months and I haven't seen, where are my millions of dollars? Right?
Starting point is 00:25:22 But you got to stay consistent. The beginning part sucks and it's tough and it's not attractive, but you got to keep going. And that's why people get so attracted to, how can I get rich quicker? Right? The next meme stock, the next crypto, hot crypto. I'm not saying all Bitcoin or blockchain is bad, but you get caught into this. How can I 10X my money in 10 months? How can I double my money in 10 months? How can I get this quick outcome? Which ends up becoming gambling, which is why most people who do that end up losing their money. I read a statistic the other day that said that 90% of people lose money in the stock market.
Starting point is 00:25:56 Over the last century, the stock market has gone up by an average of 10% a year. Yet most people are losing money. Why? The reason why is, and if you're watching this video, you might relate to this, you go and find a nice stock. You put your money in. Three weeks later, the stock is lower. And you feel like every time you buy a stock, the stock market goes down right after you buy. That happens to a lot of people. And then what ends up happening is a lot of people end up selling because they don't start to see that return in three weeks or three months or even three years. And so now you sell. But this is where now it's that financial education, which means the psychological education, but also which
Starting point is 00:26:37 investment in my buying. Psychological investment means understanding there's ups and downs. I got to be able to ride through them and keep investing my money. The education of financial education is what am I actually buying? Because I don't think 98% of America should be trying to pick the right stock. Invest your money in the fund because you don't know if you're investing it to the next Amazon or the next Bed Bath and Beyond. But if you invest in a decent index fund or the S&P 500, you're going to, and you keep it in there, you're going to make money. As long as America keeps growing, you're going to keep making money because at the end of
Starting point is 00:27:16 the day, what you're trying to do is you're essentially trying to invest in the American economy. And if you believe that the future of America is going to continue to be bright and it's going to continue to be better, then you want to own a piece of that today. For people that don't have money or feel like money is out of reach for them, is it possible for anyone to become wealthy or to become rich? Or is it only for a certain mindset or a certain demographic of people? Yeah, I think anybody who wants to have money,
Starting point is 00:27:50 anybody who wants to have richness can get there. But it certainly is not as easy as everyone on the internet makes it seem. It's not rah rah Amazon drop shipping, rah rah wholesale real estate, rah rah, buy some life insurance and you're good to go. That's just not it. And I think a big conversation that we don't talk about is proximity, right?
Starting point is 00:28:18 In my life now, I have many rich friends. And those rich friends provide me additional rich opportunities. So I got to go to the US Open on a bank's dime because my fiance worked with a guy who is at an investment bank and he had four tickets, took him, his wife, my fiance, and myself. Those tickets are thousands of dollars. Right. They're very, very expensive. I have friends who had an incredible accountant, had great team in terms of financials for
Starting point is 00:28:57 business, and they were like, you should talk to my team. That's how I got hooked up with my business manager. If you don't have that proximity to people who have money, who've done it, who played the playbook, how are you going to learn it? Because sure, if you are a young person growing up low income and you want to make smart money decisions, work very hard in school, get good grades,
Starting point is 00:29:21 do the American dream thing, and you go, you get to Harvard, okay? You get to Harvard, the rich kids still don't want to be friends with you. Why not? Because you can't afford to split the table at the club on Friday night. You can't afford to pay for the dues for your finals club
Starting point is 00:29:36 or whatever they call it. Like, you don't have that money to get you there. So I think the process of becoming wealthy and becoming rich and having money, it's available to anyone, but the trajectory and the timeline is very, very different. Interesting. So proximity alone isn't enough is what I'm here to say,
Starting point is 00:29:56 because you could have the grades or the skills and the proximity, but if you don't have the money still, then people may not, what are you saying? So I'm saying that proximity makes it easier. So if you grow up rich and your parents are, you know, very, very tough and they're like, we're not leaving a penny to you guys. You still grew up around all those rich people.
Starting point is 00:30:20 You still have access, contacts, information. Exactly, and you still got all those soft skills. Whereas someone whose parents are like, I will leave you every dollar I have, but they grow up lower middle class. They don't have that proximity that you had growing up. It's like a language. You didn't get to hear the language, see how things were done. See how deals were talked about. Even if you weren't involved in doing the deals or paying for the things,
Starting point is 00:30:46 you witnessed and experienced it over a decade or two. So on Wall Street, we call them execution or knife and fork guys. So execution guys are the technical ones. They're like the ones that are actually good at the job. Right? And then you got knife and fork guys. And the reason they're called knife and fork is because they know they have all of those elegances that if you
Starting point is 00:31:11 don't grow up watching that day in day out, you don't know. They know that the littlest utensils here and the biggest one comes in closer to your plate. They know how to take the napkin and fold it politely over their seat or like over their lap. They know that the dessert spoon goes this way and they have those soft skills that are kind of like the tell of how you can kind of spot another rich person. Like I can smell the rich on someone.
Starting point is 00:31:43 Really? Oh yeah. But there's a lot of like fake rich also. Oh tons. So can you smell the rich and the fake rich? Yes. What's the difference between people who are actually rich and those who are acting like they're rich? People who are actually rich like you rich and sorry guys. That's good. They're not concerned about impressing you. Interesting. They're they are about impressing you. Interesting. They are. I talk about this in my book.
Starting point is 00:32:08 They are apex predators. They do not worry about what you think about them. Wow. That it is the guy that you see walking into a three Michelin star restaurant in a quiet, normal looking outfit, sweater vest situation, eats his meal, leaves a 50% tip because they can. That's true wealth. Then you've got the wannabe wealth that goes to that same restaurant, dripped out in a
Starting point is 00:32:37 designer label, is, you know, making a scene. Why isn't this water sparkling? This is still, I don't like that. Like just, you know, really, really new to the experience and then leaves a 10% tip. Wow. That's interesting. So is there, what are the other soft skills
Starting point is 00:32:57 that you can tell between someone who's actually rich and someone who's faking it or trying to be rich or maybe has some money, but they're trying to show it off too much. So I would say that people who want to look rich brag about things, look at my new bag, look at my new car, really rich people, they don't brag, they talk about experiences that they have. So this is another experience and like one that I frankly couldn't really relate to when I first started in my career because I didn't come from that kind of money. But when it was around vacation season and
Starting point is 00:33:35 people were talking about going to Italy. And the yachts. Not even the yachts but everybody had a restaurant in Capri that you had to try. Everyone had their favorite place for gelato, you know, in Venice, whatever. Like whatever it was, you could tell that person had lived life in a way that someone who doesn't have that kind of access, who doesn't have that kind of money, doesn't have because they can't take the time off. They don't have the money to go to those places. And even if they did, they would be doing things
Starting point is 00:34:07 on the path versus stuff off the beaten path that lets them live like a local. What would you say are a few practical things if people are like, you know, I'm just kind of, I don't have money for the next few months. I don't have an emergency fund. I don't have, I've got debts I'm still paying off. If someone is financially sick and unwell and their financial
Starting point is 00:34:26 health is unstable, what are a few strategies they can do to either increase their income or get back to financial wholeness? I would say something that people struggle with realizing is that these changes you'll have to make, they're not permanent. They're only temporary. Yes. And you'll have to make, they're not permanent. They're only temporary. And you are going to be uncomfortable. It's not going to be fun.
Starting point is 00:34:51 And I am very anti, cut out the avocado toast, don't buy the coffee, rah rah. Okay, I am. Yeah. But if you are in a truly a dark, dark hole, and there's no ladder to crawl out. Cut it out. But if you are in a truly a dark, dark hole and there's no ladder to crawl out. Cut it out.
Starting point is 00:35:07 Like you literally have to cut it out. You have to make some temporary changes that are very uncomfortable. And to your point, like we focus so much on cutting out every single little discretionary cost. Do you know how hard it is to cut out $5,000 for the expenses? You know how easy it is to ask for a $5,000 raise?
Starting point is 00:35:26 A $5,000 raise happens every single day. Like that is par for the course. That's not anything special. Cutting out $5,000, do you have any coffees you have to cut out? You know how many meals you can't go out to? Do you know how many friends you might lose in that process? So again, I think it's really, really important to be asking for that raise. And I mean 10, 15 percent every single year
Starting point is 00:35:46 Are you gonna get it every year? Probably not but You get 7% great you get 8% great you got to ask and you got to remind them Pretty much for six months out of the year That you deserve that race and that you want money that you are money motivated Because if you ask in December when everybody else is asking for money, you're at the back of the list. You want to be on top of the pile. When your boss starts thinking about who's getting a race this year,
Starting point is 00:36:16 what can someone do? Who's an employee to be really smart and intentional about getting a raise. How can they show their value, their work ethic, that they're getting the results that's gonna increase revenue in the business, as opposed to just saying, give me a 20% raise or a 10% raise, because I deserve it. How do they enroll through actual results,
Starting point is 00:36:44 as opposed to, I just want to raise. Yeah. Give it to me, otherwise I'm not happy. Yeah. So you remember those two guys on Wall Street? You've got the executioners and then you've got the knife and fork guys.
Starting point is 00:36:54 So on the execution side, make yourself a brag book. So it's a literal folder. A brag book. A brag book, razor seats, from a pitch, whatever you want to call it. Just make one. It's a folder in your email. And every time something good happens to you, every time you get a pat on the back from
Starting point is 00:37:12 another team member from your company, put it forward to that folder. A client says, wow, you did such a great job. Whatever, put it in that folder. Anything that good that happens to you, put it in that folder. Anything that good that happens, you put in that folder. Because that way, when you go and you have to write those really annoying self-assessments, you can go back and literally look through those emails and be like, oh, remember that time I did that one thing and that thing and that thing? And now you have quantifiable results that you can point to.
Starting point is 00:37:40 The second piece is the knife and fork piece. There's a study, and it shows that the smartest person is not the one that gets paid the most. Right. They're like second most paid, second or third most paid. Yeah. Being smart and being the best employee gets you to a certain point, but the person that is paid the most is the person that is essentially Mr. or Mrs. Congeniality. person that is essentially Mr. or Mrs. Congeniality. You need to be liked. You need, and not so much like you have to be agreeable and likable, but like people have to think of you.
Starting point is 00:38:15 Like- You gotta be top of mind. You gotta be top of mind. And you have to be unfortunately popular around the office. So that happens by not skipping the company happy hour. That happens by joining your stupid rec pickleball league with your boss. Like, you know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:38:35 Like you have to do those things if you really want that. And I know people listening to this might think like, well, I have kids, I can't do the pickleball league. I can't go to the happy hour. Okay, ask your boss to go to lunch once every three weeks. Make that time, force that time. Do the water cooler thing. Because it might cause you 15 minutes,
Starting point is 00:39:01 it might cost you 15 minutes of your day, and it might cost you that 15 minutes of productivity. I guarantee you, nobody is going to miss that 15 minutes of your work product, but they'll remember when you told that funny joke. They'll remember that story you told about, you know, the one, you know, funny thing that happened that weekend because that is how people remember you.
Starting point is 00:39:22 It's not about like, oh, do you remember who closed that amazing deal last quarter? Nobody says that. Right. You know what I think about is like, who is able to show up with just consistent, good attitude, energy and effort consistently? Who creates the least amount of stress?
Starting point is 00:39:39 Yes. You know, I don't wanna think about the challenges and the stress that is being brought to the team or to myself, but that you're just consistent. You're not that you can't want to think about the challenges and the stress that is being brought to the team or to myself, but that you're just consistent. You know, you can't have a challenging day or bad stuff happens, but just overall, you got pretty good attitude. Yeah. Pretty good energy.
Starting point is 00:39:53 You're willing to show up and work hard consistently. It's like, I'm cool. You're going to get rewarded. Yeah. But go ahead. No, I was going to say it's also like doing an elevator test or an airport test when you're looking at a resume. How many times has someone asked you about your past job experience in detail?
Starting point is 00:40:12 Frankly, not that many times. You know what everybody beelines to on my resume? What's that? They look at the very bottom and they're like interests, activities. And they're like, oh, that's weird. I see you were at, literally that's weird. You were a cheerleader in college? And I'm like, oh, that's weird. I see you were a, literally, that's weird. You were a cheerleader in college?
Starting point is 00:40:27 And I'm like, yes. And they're like, really? And I'm like, yeah, why? Don't I seem so fun and bubbly? And like, you know, it's the same day that I'm wearing all black and I look so depressed. Or they'll look at the bottom of my resume and they're like, interest, mob movies.
Starting point is 00:40:42 What's your favorite one? And I'm like, Goodfellas, obviously. And then we get into a 20 minute debate and I waste 20 minutes in our interview. But you only now have 10 minutes to ask me technical questions. And if I ace those 10 minutes of questions instead of 30 minutes, I now look like a genius because every question you ask me I got right. And then even better, like the fact that you and I now have something in common. Cause you know that Goodfellas is my favorite movie. I know that The Godfather is your favorite movie. So now we're friends.
Starting point is 00:41:13 Yeah, you're more likeable. Yeah. It sounds like people hire or they give raises or opportunities to people they like more. It's been shown time and time again. It's not about being the smartest or the most technical. It's about you want to have technical skills and be smart. You got to be a B plus student with an A plus personality.
Starting point is 00:41:32 And that'll get you farther than being an A plus student with a B plus personality. Interesting. It's more about personality than your technical skills. You know what it sounds like, interesting. But you got to be competent as well. Yeah, I mean, you can't have an A plus personality and just be like a D minus. Like you're so bad at the job, they don't want you around. Yeah. I don't know how I got here then.
Starting point is 00:41:53 I was like barely past school, you know? So that's what I'm hearing you say around if you wanted to increase your income is some practical things. Why do people expect to get big raises or big pay increases by just doing the bare minimum? Why do you think people think they deserve a 10% raise for just doing the job minimum? Well, in recent years, because of how the job market's been, it's been a It's been a employees market,
Starting point is 00:42:27 meaning there was always another company that was willing to hire. Like there was this massive COVID boom actually, where it was the great resignation. People were leaving jobs, left, right, and center, because they could get paid more somewhere else. And now- If you think it's gonna go back the other way.
Starting point is 00:42:44 Right now it's doing this. It's coming back in. And you have to be good at your job. Let me be clear. Again, those A plus employees, they're still leaving jobs. They're still going to new places. They're still getting paid. And they always will be.
Starting point is 00:42:59 Because if you're really good, there will always be somewhere and somebody who wants you. But for people who are doing the bare minimum, it's harder to hide now because when things at the top and, you know, the bottom line revenue is not so frothy, they have to trim fat. And if you're doing the bare minimum, you're going to be the first on the chopping block. So I think it's important about making yourself indispensable and actually doing good work.
Starting point is 00:43:27 But in terms of like prepping for a layoff, again, I think it's important to have that emergency fund. I've made content about this, but just check those warn notices every so often. Basically, if you just Google your state and warn notice, W-A-R-N. Warn notice. Warn notice, warn notice. Warn? W-A-R-N. Warn notice. Warn notice, warn act.
Starting point is 00:43:48 It is basically any corporation with over a certain number of employees needs to give notice when they're doing a mass layoff. Oh. Lots of companies try and skirt this by getting rid of a slightly odd number below the threshold or you know Giving just enough time whatever but just check. I think it's important just to have an eye out They're like, oh wow
Starting point is 00:44:13 Okay Like a lot of companies in the hotel and hospitality space are laying off a bunch of employees My employer is not on this list, but I might be soon. Who knows, yeah. What skills should employees be developing throughout the year or years at a career or multiple careers? What can they develop to make themselves more indispensable? Besides just like, hey, I'm doing the job and I'm showing up and doing it, but should I be taking classes? Should I be learning public speaking?
Starting point is 00:44:41 Should I be on some other skills learning to make myself more desirable at the current job or on another place? Should I be learning public speaking? Should I be on some other skills learning to make myself more desirable at the current job or on another place? Yeah. I think every job, being good at your technical skills is great, but you want to have transferable skills. And these are the soft skills.
Starting point is 00:44:58 Bring it. But you know. What is it? Tell me. Just, again, it goes back to those fork and knife skills. You want to be able to have a conversation with just about anyone. What is it? Tell me. Just again, it goes back to those fork and knife skills. You wanna be able to have a conversation with just about anyone.
Starting point is 00:45:07 You wanna be able to make someone feel special. And I feel so lucky because after my stint on Wall Street, I went and worked at a media company in strategy sales. And let me tell you, sales, that is another beast because you eat what you kill. And I got some sales training that, you know, my company obviously paid thousands and thousands of dollars for.
Starting point is 00:45:36 And I don't remember any of it except for one thing. W-I-I-F-M. So you guess what that means. W-I-F-M. I. Two I's-F-M. So you can guess what that means. W-I-F-M. Two I's. F-M. F-M. I was thinking what if something, but I'm not sure.
Starting point is 00:45:57 Okay, so you got the W. What? What's in it for me. Ah, yeah. So we always know what we want, what's in it for us. But what's in it for me for the other person? Why do they need to help you do that thing? And this is how I always get what I want. I know, no, think about it. I always think at the other end of the table, what's in it for that person? Yeah, like it's like the pre-nup. It's a pre-nup. What's in it for that person? Yeah. It's like the prenup. It's the prenup. What's in it for your fiance?
Starting point is 00:46:25 What's in it for my fiance? What's in it for, you know, I'll talk about you. I know that you have a very, very successful podcast, but what's in it for you interviewing me? You want a lot of people to listen to this. You wanna get those chartable numbers up. You wanna be up the ranks. You want a big social splash,
Starting point is 00:46:45 you want all of these things. And I position myself in a certain way to make those things happen. If I go to the car dealership, I'm like, okay, it's the end of the month. It's the end of October. I'm going to go, I'm going to ask for the floor mats. I'm going to do all of these things. But I'm like, but what's in for that guy? That guy's getting a commission because it's the end of the month and they need to make their number. They wanna hit their quota. They wanna get the kicker and they get paid upon delivery.
Starting point is 00:47:11 So I'm gonna go four days before the end of the month and I'm gonna have to buy, you know, an as is car on the lot, but I think about what's in it for them. That's cool. When I'm at a gate and my flight's been delayed and I'm mad and I'm angry, I'm like, this gay day agent wants to
Starting point is 00:47:25 kill me. She does not like me. She doesn't want to help me. What can I say that is going to make her want to help me? So maybe it's, hey I know you've got a crazy crowd control thing happening going on. When do you think we are going to have an answer? If not, I would like to just rebook my flight. That way I can get out of your hair. And then they're like, oh, OK, this person has already thought through solutions. I can just, ABC, pick one for them, whichever one that I think is going to make the most sense based on when I think
Starting point is 00:48:00 the plane is going to arrive to gate, versus what's going on? No gate agent wants to answer that question because it's always bad news. You're always gonna be mad. So think about what's in it for me, what's in it for them. You've got a book called Experiencing the American Dream, How to Invest Your Time, Energy, and Money
Starting point is 00:48:22 to Create an Extraordinary Life. And there's a few things I want to talk about really quick. One is you shared a quote off camera that said, our brains are not wired for investing. Our brains are not wired for investing. That's one thing you said. That's right. And I saw a quote online, a statistic online that says, according to LendingTree, 64% of Americans are living paycheck to paycheck. Many people view money as a source of survival and struggle with a scarcity mindset.
Starting point is 00:48:50 So what I'm curious about is you've done so much, you know, three, four decades of research around the neuroscience of investing, but also the data and the facts of investing as well and how not to use feelings when it comes to investing. How can people start to shift out of a scarcity mindset into abundance thinking when they're just fight or flight survival mode daily? This is a great question and I'm so glad you asked it early on in our time together. I was very lucky to have a dad that believed in the American dream. He built into me the psychologically that believed in the American dream. He built into me, psychologically, the ideals of the American dream.
Starting point is 00:49:29 He gave me Thinking We Were Rich when I was 10 years old and said, read this at least one time every year of your life. We came from the hills of West Virginia in the Hollers. My grandfather did not believe in the American dream. He worked in the coal mines. He worked in the factories, the chemical factories. He basically believed that money was a source of evil. He believed people that had it were greedy.
Starting point is 00:49:54 He believed he was entitled to money that he didn't create. And he always viewed it as anybody that had money was a crook. And my dad rejected that. My dad, by the time he was 10 years old, was an entrepreneur three times over. He sold newspapers, he sold cloverene salve to the miners where their hands were cracked, and he signed shoes. So he believed that if you created value for other people, that you would be rewarded with wealth and prosperity, and that people that had money weren't crooks, but they actually were really hardworking and
Starting point is 00:50:31 dedicated, and he loved this country and the values that it stood for. So the minds, every summer we go back to West Virginia and I'd see the people living in the poverty. And they didn't have physical shackles. It was a mindset, I call it a screen, by which they saw themselves as victims. Screen? A screen, a psychological screen made out of language, language that you're taught. And then there's the language or the screen of the American dream. And most people do look at money as a form of survival. And that is largely in our DNA too.
Starting point is 00:51:12 For thousands of years, people had a real hard time surviving and so money and property was a form of survival. But now we live in a relative world of abundance and creativity. And if you can get that screen of the American dream, you can start to escape that terrible bonds that really imprison you almost in a world of scarcity. Two things here. One, can you explain what the screen is?
Starting point is 00:51:38 Is it a framework of thinking and language around what money is? Yes. So it's language. The way that people can think about it, sometimes you create that language on purpose. Like if I'm going to go be a doctor, I spend many, many years developing language
Starting point is 00:51:54 around what a doctor is. So they see the human body as very different as someone who doesn't have that language. Well, we have all kinds of conversations in our lives about money, about the world, about how money works, how money is created, our place in the world and our relationship to money. And money, ironically, having a lot of money doesn't mean you're going to be happy.
Starting point is 00:52:17 As a matter of fact, I've seen a lot of really, really wealthy people, tens, 20s, 30s, millions of dollars, and history is rife with people like Elvis Presley, Marilyn Monroe, Howard Hughes, Prince, people with a lot of money, power, fame, but it didn't do them any good. It actually helped seal their fate in the end and became very destructive. And there's another thing that you mentioned
Starting point is 00:52:40 just before this was, you know, there's kind of two different mindsets. Your grandfather, who worked in the coal mines, who worked really hard, it sounds like on a daily basis, but didn't understand how to create more value, whether in his coal mine or somewhere else and therefore was given what he received. Correct. Yeah. Versus your dad, where it sounds like. How did your dad break that mindset from his father,
Starting point is 00:53:06 who he saw probably miserable or unhappy in the minds of dirty every night and sick and coughing? How did he say, I wanna change this without a model of someone showing him abundance? Well, that's great. And go back to my grandfather once, his screen was so strong. It was like they lived in two different worlds, the two different dimensions of reality.
Starting point is 00:53:29 His screen was so strong. When he was offered an opportunity to grow at Union Carbide, he was offered to be a foreman and have a crew underneath him. He told them no. Why? Because he didn't want to be part of the machine. That's evil and bad. He didn't want to be evil and bad in his eyes. So he proved it to himself that he was doomed to
Starting point is 00:53:50 be our money. I call these money demons. These money demons, which we all have at various times in our life, they take us over and preclude us from doing things that could actually save us. So he never took that race. He never took that opportunity to save his family, even when it was offered to him. And I've asked my dad, I say, how did you? This poverty, this abject poverty, they would cut the tops off of instant carnation milk cans and they would hammer it to the baseboards in their shack by the railroad so that the rats wouldn't come in their house in the wintertime.
Starting point is 00:54:31 That's how much poverty my dad came from. He only had one pair of shoes a year right before school started and then they were barefoot all summer long. This was true abject poverty. He said, I saw a couple examples of people that did have a little bit of money and they were nice and they helped me. And I went to work for them. And I noticed that my dad was wrong, that people that had money weren't evil and they
Starting point is 00:54:56 weren't bad and they were actually willing to help. And I had a couple good teachers in school that taught me about that. But deep down, my dad had, and I don't know where he got it, he had a deep-seated belief in capitalism and entrepreneurism. Yeah. So you mentioned money demons. What are money demons?
Starting point is 00:55:17 And do we all have them? We all do to a greater or lesser extent. What is a money demon? So I'll give you an example. So when I started my company, I wanted to help a lot of people. We managed $11 billion for people all over North America, 500 advisors. When I started, I only had three employees. I had a demon belief.
Starting point is 00:55:39 It's a belief created in language that then we don't realize that it's only just a screen. We take it on as reality. And that reality was that employees suck. And they're too expensive. And when you hire them, they don't do a good job. And the other money demon I had was that I'm not a good manager and I don't know how to manage people. So I'll just do it myself. Now, money demons are so pervasive because when we have them, we make their self-fulfilling prophecies and we make them come true. And we don't look for opportunities that violate our screen.
Starting point is 00:56:17 So I had to look at what I was getting out of it. What was I getting out of that screen? Well, I got to play small, didn't have to hire people, I got to be self-righteous, I got to be condemning. You were right on the top. I'm right and righteous. I got to gossip about other people, character assassinate. I got to be a victim.
Starting point is 00:56:38 I mean, it was juicy psychological payoff, but I also had to realize that if I was gonna, if I couldn't change those screens about the world, that I was going to be doomed never to fulfill my mission, which was to help more people stop speculating with their money and fulfill their American dream. Wow. And then you have to do a cost-benefit analysis and say, okay, am I going to keep that demon belief because there is payoff? Yes. I can live a normal, ordinary life, not full of greatness, thorough set of the best, you know, quiet desperation,
Starting point is 00:57:13 or am I going to break that belief? And I actually call it do violence to the belief. Interesting. I have to actually kill it. Yes. I have to kill that belief. But the thing about money demons is when you kill them and have more money, they don't disappear. They often morph. How so? Well, so after I became
Starting point is 00:57:32 successful, then I went through a divorce. And then I started eventually dating after some therapy and counseling. And I started dating. And I started getting one string of really painful relationships after another and I developed a belief based on the divorce and dating that I'm not really that attractive, I'm not really that sexy, I got a lot of money and that's what women really want from me and so that I'll never really have someone I really truly love and really truly loves me. And then I had a string of dating examples that created that. And so I had to do violence to that belief. How does that look like? In your mind, how do you kill off the old limiting belief or the demons that keep you small or hold you back. So you have to look at the benefits you're getting out of it.
Starting point is 00:58:29 The benefits, and I know it doesn't seem like there are benefits, but there are benefits to being right and playing small and not taking risks. And being a victim too. And being a victim of being the martyr, getting to set my own, if you would. What is the biggest benefit, what would you say is the biggest benefit of being a victim?
Starting point is 00:58:48 You don't have to take risk in life. Or responsibility. You don't have to be responsible for your own results in life. You get to blame others. Well, it's not me, it's the government. Or it's not me, it's these employees. Or it's not me, it's this girl. Or it's not me, it's somebody else. I'm
Starting point is 00:59:05 just fine the way I am. I don't have to change. I don't have to grow. I don't have to do anything. So it just takes you off the hook and lets you complain about other people. Behind every complaint is a demon belief. And so I eventually, the way I did, and then the second part of doing battle with it is to realize it's not true. You just made it up. There's no tablet that said employees suck from the mount. I just made it up.
Starting point is 00:59:37 So if I made it up, I can make up something else. And I can start looking for evidence that it's not true. There's companies with 10,000, 20,000 employees. So it can be that all employees are bad. Well, that's just silly. And I've known people about the money demon with the relationships. I knew people that had great relationships where it wasn't about money. So that can't be true either.
Starting point is 01:00:01 I need to slow down and actually take my time and you know find someone that's carrying loving and kind right Which was funny because then when I met Melissa she had a money demon which was guys that had money or jerks So we saw that right away with you. It's like yeah repelling. Yeah Yeah, she almost didn't say yes to that data Starbucks because she thought I must be a jerk. Yeah. I must be a total jerk. Interesting. In the book, which I love you talking about this, but you have this part of the book, page 73,
Starting point is 01:00:31 called The Destructive Cycle of Wealth. And you say, yes, it's cliche that money can't make you happy. Songs have been written about it, but why can't money make you happy? Shouldn't it make you a little bit happier if you suddenly stumble into, say, $100 million? You say the answer is no, and it sounds counterintuitive,
Starting point is 01:00:50 but I firmly believe that to be true. And if money isn't making us any happier, and most of us have much more than what we need, why do we work so hard to make more of it? Why do we spend so much of our lives thinking about money without even realizing it? We are stuck in the destructive cycle of wealth and learning about this cycle can help you better understand some of your decisions about money. And you say it has five phases beginning with our most
Starting point is 01:01:16 basic human needs. Can you talk about what this destructive cycle of wealth is, why it's important for us to understand it and what we can do to make sure we don't stay in it. Yeah, so when I realized that I had clients with a lot of money that were very unhappy, that was my next question. My dad, one of the key strategies in the book is to ask a good question. Yeah. And don't try to rush to get the answer. Take your time and really let it work on you and your subconscious and really think about it. So it took me years to think about this and that the reason it can't make you happy is because it doesn't fill anything in your spiritual nature that can bring happiness.
Starting point is 01:02:01 It fulfills the survival nature, right? Yeah. So we all want things, and we want things for our survival. That's instincts. Food, clothing, shelter, gloves, that kind of stuff. And then we go out and we obtain things. And we obtain those things, most of us. But then we want more. Toyota even had that commercial, oh, what a feeling, you know, when you get to Toyota.
Starting point is 01:02:24 So you don't just want a new car, you want a really nice car. You don't want it in the house, you want a really nice house. So and then when you do get something, whether it's the computer or golf clubs or a purse or whatever it is, you have it for a while, you obtained it, you felt good about it for a little while, then you start comparing it to what everybody else has. I had a boat I bought in Florida when we had a house down there and it was a 37 footer, 300 Yamaha motors. I loved that boat, had tons of fun on that boat.
Starting point is 01:02:56 It was adventurous, really great. Then one day there was a 180 foot yacht and their dinghy was bigger than my boat. I'm like, this ain't no boat. I got to get me a bigger boat. Really? Yeah. But whether it's the size of your portfolio, the size of your house, you buy the perfect house, you think it's perfect, then six months later you're looking at the kitchen going,
Starting point is 01:03:17 these cabinets really suck. We really need to rip these out. It's just human nature. And then, so then it brings us around to comparing it to other things. Sometimes in technologies this way, they always come out with bigger, better, faster, cooler technology, we want. And then you can lead you back up to this topic wanting stuff. So it doesn't fulfill at a deep, meaningful purpose.
Starting point is 01:03:42 And that leads you back to what you mentioned earlier, which is survival. It's about survival. So, if I'm getting this right, we go through the cycle, and you know a lot of people who are mega millionaires, maybe even billionaires, who are unhappy still. Yep. Would you say the majority of millionaires or billionaires are unhappy, the ones that you've been around or experienced? I don't know about the majority,
Starting point is 01:04:08 but I do know there is no correlation. And I know it from my personal life too, because- So happiness and having money. Right, because there's been times where I had a lot of money, was very unhappy, had no money and was pretty happy. But you've also had a lot of money and been happy too. I would take the latter, the money and the happiness at the same time.
Starting point is 01:04:26 That would be great. You've experienced that too. And I have. Yes. But if it's not the money, then what is it? And what I've found is it's having a purpose in life that's greater than money itself. And if you think throughout history, the people that have changed the world, whether it's Ronald Reagan or whether it's Martin Luther King or whether it's JFK or whether it's Walt Disney or the Wright
Starting point is 01:04:50 Brothers or you think about these people that have changed the world, they've all had this deep purpose, sense of purpose and value in their life, so much so that they've even laid their life, Dr. Martin Luther King laid down his life for his purpose. And that's how strong purpose can be. And if you'll have a purpose first, then use it to create value for other people and align with their purpose. And then the more money you have, great. Because then I can align how I use that money with my purpose in life, and I can do great things with my money. That brings me joy and happiness and freedom and fulfillment with other people. But if I have the money without the purpose, it just becomes a burden.
Starting point is 01:05:39 Really? It becomes empty. It's so empty. I need more money, more money, more money for what? It's an I need more money, more money, more money for what? It's an addiction of itself. So it sounds like the greater the purpose you have, the more fulfilled you'll be with or without money. Absolutely. In fact, if you have a stronger purpose, you don't even need money. You know, like Mother Teresa, saints. Well, because they feel taken care of by the community
Starting point is 01:06:03 or they know they're going to be provided for, they're happy with whatever they receive each day. It's about their purpose in life. If I don't have, look, you can live in America for very little money. Even if you only have $40,000, $50,000 a year, you live better than the King of England did 500 years ago. You have chocolate, you have air conditioning, you have food, you have running water, you have healthcare. I mean it's a miracle. Everybody should wake up every morning in a miracle going, it's a miracle, it's a miracle, I can't believe I live here. Of course they don't. But it's
Starting point is 01:06:38 a miracle that what we have and if you only have a little bit of money and you have a friend in the hospital, you can make a card with a crayon or a pen. You could go to the hospital, you could sit by them and hold their hand. You could express your love and affection. And that's going to be more fulfilling than a Ferrari. I'm not anti-Ferrari, I got one. But it's hard for an hour, but it's not, you know. I call them cookies and toys.
Starting point is 01:07:06 You say you got these toys there and they're fun. Okay, fine. Great. I'm not saying that they're bad, but they won't make me happy. And then food, it's anything you ingest to try to change your mood about yourself and feel better temporarily. But they're not they're not permanent. This is powerful. I love this.
Starting point is 01:07:27 I hope you enjoyed today's episode and it inspired you on your journey towards greatness. Make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a full rundown of today's episode with all the important links. And I wanna remind you if no one has told you lately that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter. And now it's time to go out there and do something great.

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