The School of Greatness - How To Make Vulnerability Your Greatest Strength With Jay Glazer

Episode Date: July 18, 2025

Leave an Amazon Rating or Review for my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy!Buy Jay's book Unbreakable: How I Turned My Depression and Anxiety into Motivation and You Can TooJay's podcast Unbreakable with Jay Glazer: A Mental Wealth PodcastIn this episode, you will learnHow to transform daily depression and anxiety into unstoppable motivation that drives extraordinary achievementThe three-step system for getting out of mental health darkness: building teams, being of service, and using laughter as medicineWhy vulnerability becomes your greatest strength and how sharing your struggles creates deeper connections than any success storyThe difference between feeling worthy of love versus feeling deserving of love and how this distinction changes everythingHow outworking the world by "a lot, not a little" becomes the pathway from $9,700 per year to NFL insider successFor more information go to https://www.lewishowes.com/1799For more Greatness text PODCAST to [phone]More SOG episodes we think you’ll love:Jason Wilson – greatness.lnk.to/1725SCDr. Caroline Leaf – greatness.lnk.to/1785SCMichelle Obama and Craig Robinson  – greatness.lnk.to/1767SC Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy!Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX

when you don't have any self-worth, or you don't have these roommates in your head tell you what a bad person you are all the time, it forced me to, instead of just laying in bed and saying I'm cashing on my chips, it's gotten me to do all this great stuff so I can get some love from the outside in. Welcome to the School of Greatness.

My name is Louis Howes, a former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin. Before the episode starts, I want to give a quick trigger warning that we do discuss different forms of sexual abuse and healing from those experiences. we do discuss different forms of sexual abuse and healing from those experiences. Welcome back everyone to the School of Gradience. We've got the man, Jake Glazer in the house.

So glad to see you there, man. So grateful about what you're up to. Last time I saw you was in my gym. Unbreakable, right? Yes, Steve Weatherberg. You lifted every weight in the place. We were never the same. Exactly. Yes. No, I'm unbreakable. Yeah. You live around the corner. Let's go, man. We got to get you back in there. you lifted every weight in the place, and we were never the same. Exactly, yes, I'm unbreakable, yes.

I thought you lived around the corner, let's go man, we gotta get you back in there. I'm coming back in, I promise I will. The place is great, it's a great little community. I'm excited, man. You've had an amazing story, and your whole book, Unbreakable, is about how you turn depression, anxiety,

into really motivation that you can accomplish things without feeling overwhelmed and stressed. But you just told me before we started that you've had a panic attack since 2005 until now every week. Is it? Every week. How did you, now when I grew up,

and I'm assuming when you grew up, I grew up in the Midwest, I was never able to talk about my feelings. It was just like, suck it up. You grew up in the Midwest, I grew up in Jersey. That's even harder for you. But I was, we went a lot of talk about, you know, how I felt, playing football, playing baseball,

playing whatever, it was just like, suck it up, keep going. When did you feel like it was okay to talk about the feeling of anxiety, stress, mental health? When was this like a conversation you could have without being made fun of, laughed at, picked on, bullied, told you're a wussy or whatever it is No, I look for me

And you talked about the motivation part, right my and I got I have depression anxiety ADD Elemental P whatever you wait a minute. I got everything, you know But you know we talked about mental health but who describes it God bless bless me with the ability to communicate and I want to let be a service and and give words But you know, we talk about mental health, but who describes it? God bless me with the ability to communicate.

I wanna be of service and give a word. I was never, hmm, I was never, I don't wanna say this. I'm gonna say I was never ashamed. Because there's been shame. Like I've been embarrassed to tell certain people. And not others. But I also don't make up the of depression anxiety, right? It's not What my best friend's Michael stray and I didn't really tell him till three months ago that I couldn't go out to dinner one night

Cuz I had a really bad attack. It's got me and he's Said you want me to come over and talk I said no, we just get on the phone. No, he said why have you never told me? I said, I don't know like I just With you I felt embarrassed. I don't know. But yet. When I'm at Fox and the sky's falling, Howie Long will say, hey, hey, hey, sky's not falling.

Yes it is. And so I talked to him about it. And so, right, I don't know. I have no idea why. So why I came out and started talking about it is because I know I could help people, give them words. And you know, my own misery, my own darkness,

like The Rock wrote The Forward, and he said, man, you're gonna be a voice to get through the gray for a lot of us, us, him included, which is pretty wild, right? What does the gray mean to you? The gray is that depression, anxiety. So I'll tell you this, I wake up every single morning and it hurts, it sucks. Look, I get choked single morning and it hurts.

It's socks. Look, I get choked up talking about it because you know when I talk about it sometimes, I feel bad for this guy. Like I don't know what it's like to wake up in the blue and like you have a man, your life is great and my life is great. Like I'm sitting here doing a podcast with you.

It's pretty awesome. You got great friends, you got a good business or tv Go, what do you have to be depressed about my life is great, but in between my ears sucks And it's just the only way i've ever it's my earliest childhood memory. Has it always sucked? It's always sucked really always Earliest childhood memory and man, I was in trouble because I was acting out But again the motivation part, when you live in this gray, you have no idea how to love yourself up

from the inside out. I don't feel worthy of being loved from the inside out. Still today. Oh my God, it's awful. On a scale of one to 10, 10 being you love yourself. Zero. A lot.

A negative zero, a negative. Even today. Man, it's awful and why is that what do you think that is it's what it tells me I kind of call it I wrestle with my abuser hmm and who's the abuser these depression the anxiety those roommates in my head that tell me these things that aren't true like I said I know it's logically it's not true I know that and I've had to build up this persona on TV

all these years to hide it. So my friends all say, Gladers was crazy. And that's a badge of honor in football and fighting in those worlds. But they never knew how much pain I was in. And until now and then, I first talked about it a few years ago

and I have a charity that I work with veterans, MVP. So I talk about opening to them. And we're veterans and ex athletes. We'd merge them veterans, right, MVP. So I talk about it openly to them. And we're veterans and ex-athletes, right? We'd merge them together, MVP, merging vets and players. And I see how much it connects with them. And one day I was just, I did an article somewhere where I was being this vulnerable,

how I am in the huddle with them, with the rest of the world, and the reaction was like, oh my God, you too, you have depression and anxiety. I'm like, yeah, like I've I've never had the crazy if you will and I just saw how the reactions I was like I could really be a service to people Wow, and that's where I wanted to be and I say the motivation part because again when you don't When you don't have any self-worth or you don't have

These roommates in your head tell you what a bad person you are all the time It forced me to instead of just laying in bed and saying I'm cashing on my chips, it's gotten me to do all this great stuff so I can get some love from the outside in. Right, but how do you get the love from the inside? I'm working on it. In, yeah.

I'm working, and as I start doing things like this, I hear the effect I have on people, and there are days that I feel it effect I have on people and there are days that Then I feel it. I think I feel I cry a lot now of And I think it's pride of being able to help people and yeah, like man the number of people that have reached out And again in the book I really describe What it's like to have depression anxiety what's like to have a mental health issues Look a lot of this a lot of this self-worth, or like I wake up every morning

feeling that the sky's falling. Every single day of my life, I wake up, sky's falling, the universe hates me, world's against me, and I've gotta get myself out of that gray. I've gotta work myself out of it. Every single morning, and there's different things I do, and I see therapists, I've tried a lot of beds.

How long have you been seeing therapists for? Since I was about four. Really? Yeah. My parents took me to the psychiatrist like I was a crazy one. Sure. Come on, gang.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's a consistent thing you do as therapy support, because I've found therapy extremely helpful to me, because I felt like I was in a lower number of the spectrum for many years of lacking self-worth, which I think a lot of people probably feel that growing up in a challenging situation. And it's been extremely helpful for me to heal

that inner child or that little Lewis, or the psychology part of myself. I call it little Jason, that's my real name, yeah. Exactly, but you're big now. I built that up. I built up warrior. It's a defense mechanism. It's a defense mechanism.

When really the worst, how does that strengthen the warrior side is not the strength of me. The vulnerability is the strength of me. That's where you make the biggest impact. There you go. Just like with this book and sharing it vulnerably, you're able to touch more lives than being bigger and stronger and tougher. Yeah, there's only so much I could make people laugh

on TV or give them inside information. And it definitely is a distraction from, that's where we are, we're escapism on TV. But to really do something like this, I was saying, I'm getting people now, I'm getting grandmothers reaching out saying, thank you for the first time in 80 years, I have the words to tell my husband and kids and grandkids

what I've been going through. Or girl dads saying, and now boy grandkids, what I've been going through. Or girl dads saying, and boy dads do, like a lot of them saying, well I don't have it. And I'm like, yeah, I probably do. But I didn't know how to connect with my child, and now I do. And the book is filled with expletives and F-bombs, this and that, because there's nothing pretty

about what I'm talking about. And so if you don't like curse words, and man, overlook it. or that's who I am. I just wanna be authentic. And that's how I talk. But I have a lot of them saying, I didn't know how to connect with my son or daughter, and now I do.

And they got the books to read together, or to just say, okay, now I know what they're going through. So when they wake up in the morning, again, I wake up in the morning, every day of my life in the morning, again, I wake up in the morning every day of my life in the gray, it's never blue. And I've got to make that decision to get myself out of bed. And once I make that decision,

I decide I'm gonna be relentless in everything I do. Like, I'm just not gonna let this thing win. But it affects me physically too. Like it's, when it- Does it feel like a weight? It feels like a chain. Does it feel like a chain? Yeah, so it feels like these, I wrote in the book like it was almost like these heavy chains are pulling my soul

Down. Oh, yeah, and it's it's heavy it It hurts and but when I'm having really bad days like this past weekend Saturday night I woke up three o'clock in the morning and it normally doesn't wake me up in the middle of night man beast got out of the box and I kicked my butt and When that happens, I feel it behind my rib cage feels like I'm having a heart attack The left side of my gut it's like man. I get a gut punch for you Oh, man, yeah, and my joints ache like I just got out of a fight a fight in the rain And my joints ache like I just got out of a fight, a fight in the rain, like a 50 round boxing match.

So there's a physical visceral reaction for me. I've got to, and this is why I wrote the book too, to give people ways to get out of it, at least the ways I've used to get out of it, and I gotta do it every single day of my life. So what have been the strategies to get out of therapy, working out? The three temples I put in here is one, have a team.

Oh, of course. Don't do it alone. No, absolutely. But we have teams all around us, we may not realize it. So I've always, like you played football, right? That's a team. This crew right here is a team for you. My dog is a team with me, right?

God's a team with me. That one up there, you know. I have a little groups, so Fox and the Bull Sunday is a crew, right? My unbreakable crew, my gym crew, those are my team. And like this weekend when I was struggling, I called a teammate to come over, I called other teammates to let them know,

man, today's just, it's a bad day. Just to check in on you, make sure it's good. I called Wayne. I literally, like, he's my battle buddy on this. Call them, dude, today's one of them. Freaking great, today hurts. And he stepped away from filming his 90 shows and made sure he was there because I'm there for him.

And that's what teammates do. It's not, it's give give, right? It's loyalty. I've gotten to where I am too, at a loyalty. So it's this loyalty factor. Loyalty is a dying art, right? It's a rare art now. More need to do that, I think. So I have these teams, that's one.

Number two is being of service. That's huge, man, that's my MO right there. Well, as I was, for everybody that I called this weekend to tell them I need help and man, I'm struggling, I called the same number of people just to see how they were doing. Right, the same day or maybe before? Same day.

Oh yeah, yeah. So if I called four people to say I'm struggling, I called another four. Say hey, checking in on you. Checking in on you. How you doing? Being of service. Because what happens when you're of service

in that depressed, anxious, stressful state? Does it feel like it helps you get out of it a little bit? Yeah, so I hunt the blue. You're not focused on you, you're focused on others. And it's being of service. And in the book I give several ways that I've always been, look, my first 11 years of my career I was making 9,700 bucks a year living in New York City.

Was it with TV or with that? Yeah, when I was working at New York One TV for 450 bucks a year. Oh man. And I finally got a job at in New York City. Is it the TV or what? Yeah, when I was working in New York on TV for 450 bucks a year. Oh, man. And I finally got a job at the New York Post for a whopping nine grand a year. Try to outwork the world, work in a hundred hour weeks, trying to be this reporter. So I couldn't get like side jobs to help. Right. I had no my electricity got turned off all the time.

You know, he all that all the time get turned know, heat, all that, all the time, get turned off. I just grinded for all those years. Yeah, you know, but even then I figured out ways to be of service to, whether it was just stop and talking to a homeless person, I still to this day, will go to the old 99 cent store with my son and go get toothbrush toothpaste handy wipes band-aids band-aids socks

So patent pen gloves It's eight bucks and I put them in a bag and I hand them out homeless Yeah, so you don't have to be loaded to go be of service Yeah, but also just calling somebody saying just checking up on you. Hey man, just telling you I love you Yeah, you know we're that's being of service and it's it's it's hard for the roommates in your head to tell you how bad you are when you are lifting somebody else up. Absolutely. So that's huge. I'm so glad that's a strategy for what's number three.

And by the way, therapists are part of the team also. Absolutely, yeah. And the third one is laughter. That's what you do really well. I laugh a lot. I try and the gray-head's laughter. And I do see blue when I'm laughing. But I'll tell you this that most don't know.

And nobody knew until I wrote this. Nobody knew. Again, I've had a panic attack starting in 2005. I was in empty Raider Stadium doing a hit for Fox level Sunday. It's weird for me to have had one because I suck in calm, but I'm really, really good in chaos. So chaos of TV, I feel safe there.

You're in the zone there, yeah. Great, so I don't know why it happened, but it was 2005. It was peaceful, no one was there. Nobody in the stadium but me and the cameraman. It stressed you out. I don't know, but I've been on TV since 93. Right. So I don't know why 12 years in, it suddenly happened.

Wow. But when I have an anxiety panic attack, walls cave in. Wow. I start going like this. My hands start shaking. I start sweating. I feel like I'm having a heart attack. Hard to breathe. For them and I've had it. It became habitual. So it's now between my ears. So every single time, I had a little mini one when we sat down here before.

And it just became like habitual, but they're not dangerous. But for 10 years, I didn't know that I was getting my heart checked out. We didn't talk about panic attacks from 2005 to 2015, whatever. Like no one knew who it was. That's why I'm trying to give these words

for somebody to go, oh, that's what I have. Okay, so you're not alone. It's you're, a lot of us have them and it may not be every week. And everybody out there also, like I'm clinical depression and anxiety, but we all have something now. It's a harder world these days.

Social media makes it harder. We just came through a pandemic where we had to isolate. Worst thing we could ever do, right? Especially if you're depressed. Especially if, but we're all gonna have something now. Especially because we compare ourselves to everybody else's filtered, filtered fraction of one second of one day.

And we think, and we feel left out. And we think, man, I'm not successful. Look what this person's doing. Look at that person. It's not real. Or the bullying and the hate we see on Twitter The human condition is not made to see so much a thousand times a second It's not meant to something's got to give so now I'm trying to lead us all through to start giving together and be kinder to

each other but the laughter part When you see me Force in a joke first segment of Fox because I'm having a really bad one. Really? And. So that's why you tell the joke. So if you see it and you're like, well that didn't fit,

I'm trying to get myself out of a panic attack. Trying to get back in the zone and focused and present. Yeah, because I'm, man it's, when I'm having this panic and anxiety attack, it's, yeah, you're not, man, it's weird, it's like I'm not there. Again, I'm having all this physical stuff, but it's like I'm over there, or some, it's just, I're not it's man. It's weird. It's like I'm not there again. I'm having all this physical stuff But it's like I'm over there or something. It's just I'm not I Don't know. It's I'm not there. I'm I'm I'm somewhere else deep behind my eyes somewhere else

So the quicker I can make you laugh or me laugh I get out of it and it usually lasts two three minutes, right? Maybe five and then it moves on. Yeah for the most part I've had ones at the Super Bowl a couple years ago last an hour and a half I have no memory of the first hour of our show. Oh my gosh, how much does that suck sucks? Biggest show of my life 100th anniversary of the NFL Oh and and none of the guys knew I was experienced this until this and then stray and said Why don't you tell us I said because I because I don't want to bring down your day

on live TV. You know, now, if I have one, when we're off the air, I'll say, hey, oh, it's coming on. I'll tell, I usually lean on Howie and Kurt men a few out for that. Or, yeah, I'll be open about it now. So I just won't suffer in silence anymore. What's the, I mean 2005 was the first time

you started really having them, right? What do you think was the shift from not having them to having them in 2005? No idea, and that's the thing, it's like, not only that, it's not like I had a great story that day. I remember as DeAngelo Hull and Terrell Owens got in a fight on the field, they had some others and they didn't talk to me about me. So I'm like, hey, I got this great exclusive.

So I had great stuff. Nobody was in there. It was actually really peaceful. I have no idea why my abuser decided to step up that day. I got no idea why I decided to step up the morning of the Super Bowl right before we're about to redo the Immaculate Reception with Terry Bradshaw and Franco Harris, like are you kidding me, man? Little Jason is dream of dreams.

I don't have any memory of it. It wasn't until I got in the car with Jimmy Johnson and Kurt Menafee, we started busting chops and laughing when I got through it. After the fact, yeah. Yeah, we were going to the next site. We had a three or four hour pregame show whatever was yeah Yeah, man. I mean you've worked with

By the way that day I just gotta tell you this yeah, because the laughter part again It's the hundredth anniversary in the NFL right? Yes centennial the NFL We're standing on the field on the sideline ball just kicks off. It's Terry Bradshaw. How are you long me stray in? Tony Gonzalez is standing over there Kurt Menafafit, Jimmy John Willis standing there, and Terry Bradshaw, who is the funniest dude you ever meet. Legit funny like that. He says, you know what? This 100th anniversary, the NFL thing,

this worked great, this Centennial, this thing went great. We said, yeah, it was great. And we did it all year long. He said, great. He said, we should totally do this again next year. And we all went, what did you just say? He I get yeah that's great man that's the ADD part cutting off it's all good man side stories are classic you've trained are you've worked with or have trained and I've also just seen thousands of

athletes and pro athletes come through your facility and over the years train them. What would you say is the level of which the high level athletes face mental health, stress and anxiety, or do you feel like most of them don't face that? They all face it. You can't be great and not have some crazy. Like your work ethic, it's not normal, right?

And that's good, like I want us to embrace it. Like I say, I'm messed up, but I'm good with my messed upness. Look at the stuff you've done. You're not normal. I think most of us aren't normal. And what makes us not normal is we outwork the world, not by a little, by a lot. You gotta be off to put those hours in

when no one's watching. Not just when everybody's watching. It's those hours when everybody else is when no one's watching. Not just when everybody's watching. It's those hours when everybody else is, when nobody's watching. But to be on that level, this is what I tell anybody, you played arena ball, you playing football, it's not who you are,

but what's behind your ribcage that got you to beat out millions and millions to beat, you're a record holder in NCAA? That's one of one that that no one can ever take that from you. And too many feel like oh man, I didn't do enough or I didn't go here. I didn't go there. Yeah, you did. Like you play the NFL or you play an arena ball is not who you are.

What's behind your ribcage that makes you so much different than everybody else? That's who you are. And that suddenly doesn't just go away. It's always there. But who reminds you of all of that? So like, even you were telling me, well, I didn't do it. No, no, no, you played a Reno ball, dude.

I never got to that level. I got paid to play ball, right? Yeah, most of the world didn't get to that level. You were a top level athlete in decathlon. Just there's something different about you there. We all have something different about us. We gotta find what that is. For me, like, do I wish I could have played football?

Yeah, I'm a five foot seven Jewish guy, it's not gonna happen. Right, right. Your parents were like, let's just play some chess or something. And then for me, I got into mixed martial arts early. Yeah. Because I actually, I felt like I belonged in a cage.

That's what led me there. You felt like an animal. I felt, not only that, I felt like I belonged in a cage. That's what led me there. You felt like an animal. I felt, but not only that, I felt like I belonged there and I felt like I deserved to lose. Really? Yeah. Why? That's what my self-worth was. Wow.

So that was the easiest place for me to kind of take beatings. And it's not like my dad didn't beat me growing up or anything like that. So it was just my self-worth. And it wasn't until I started really, I started coaching, Fox made me stop fighting in 2003 or 2004. I only had two fights. See, I just did it right there. I only had two fights. Like.

At least you fought. But that, see? Yeah, you did it. I started minimizing myself right there. And that's what I'm trying to get at. Me too, I played the arena ball. I was just getting on you about that now. I just did it, right?

I took those three steps up in and it did make me feel special because we were kind of like the island of misfit toys back then. Yeah, of course. It was just pre- Big you have a C-H-A-G. Yes, yes, yes.

And it still makes me feel special from my physical scars from it. So when Fox made me stop fighting, I learned how to start coaching guys. And that's how it came to about a battle war. I opened up the gym, Unbreakable, and I've coached a thousand NFL players, full teams. Wrestled every single one of them.

Get in there with every one of them. And that's my own messed up-ness. When I have a fight team, the roommates in my head talk a lot nicer to each other. And so I've always bragged about these physical scars Even like internally when I walk in a room like man I've ruptured all four or five four times and I want l2 twice from wrestling with Randy couture and Chuck Liddell and Andrew Whitworth and Lane Johnson and this guy that guy

But we don't brag about our mental scars. So that's what I'm trying to do now. It's man. It's it's time I give myself a break and learn how to brag about the stuff I've overcome mentally. Right, that's what we have to do. What happens when we start to talk about it? What happens to us physically, mentally, when we start to bring it out to light

as opposed to hide it? We should be ashamed about it. We don't have a secret anymore. Is this relief? And I'll tell you this too, the fear of someone's gonna tell us to suck it up or oh Come on, man. Just you know, you're being a wasp. Yeah every single person Hundred percent that I've opened up to about this. It brought me closer together with them hundred percent

Vulnerability is the key to connection in my mind. Yes, I Talk about this openly on my show, but when I was five, I was sexually abused by a man that I didn't know. And for 25 years, I held onto the secret, the shame, because I thought to myself, if anyone knew this, no one would love me. And so it was the shame that I held onto.

And it's a lot. It's a lot to overcome. It's a lot, man. And so it drove me to become bigger, faster, stronger, protect myself, kind of like what you were talking about building this defense Mechanism, but it left me feeling less connected to people emotionally because I wasn't able to tap into that vulnerability It wasn't till about nine years ago I started opening up and it was like this weight came off me and also like you said all my relationships got stronger

All of them and how many people did you help because they're like Do you so many happened to me too, it happened to me too, right? So many men started emailing me. Good for you. I wrote a book about it, the whole thing. And it's like, that was my most downloaded podcast in 1,200 episodes.

Wow. And it was the one that made the most impact when I talked about the journey for the first time. And it's just like what you're doing now. It's helping so many people Give a voice and give words like you said to what their challenges might be faced with in their head. I'm curious Yeah, go ahead. So I know what it look it beyond sucked that happened you yeah, it's the ultimate betrayal. Yeah But if it didn't like

Like think how many? think how many lives you saved because it didn't, right? That one day, you open up, think about, like my co-author here, Sarah, I only chose her because she overcame cancer. And she didn't know why. I sent over the last chapter about it, and I said, I know it sucks you had cancer, I know it. But you came through that other side of the tunnel

and it didn't break you, and that's why I chose you. So I know it sucks, had cancer. I know it but you came through that other side of tunnel and didn't break you and that's why I chose you. I know it sucks because you went through it. You're gonna save people's lives. So that's something we've got to use our Pain and the things that have happened to us to help others and I'm not saying it's ever gonna be worth it, but who knows the people's lives that you've saved and The good and great they go on to do absolutely You know, you know, you never know the ripple of the I'm proud of you man. Thanks. I'm proud to be here with you I appreciate it, man. Thank you. And I am very strong. I started talking about it

You haven't know I guess seven years ago Maybe seven eight years ago and I remember feeling terrified because at the time seven eight years ago I never saw any guys talking publicly about, especially who kind of looked like me, the former athlete, Jock, opening up and talking about any of this stuff. So I was so scared, I was like, I'm gonna lose my business, no one's gonna like me, no one's gonna follow me,

like, no one's gonna be friends with me. And it was the opposite. It was kind of like, it allowed me to connect with my audience even stronger. And I think that's what you're doing as well, is showing a side of yourself that really connects people, your athletes, your followers. And it makes me proud of our scars.

Absolutely. These are, no matter what happened to you, it's something you overcame. Absolutely. So we gotta look at it as something that happened to me. That broke me or that. Or something that I overcame. So we have a girl named andy ward um who is and i can talk about it because she talks about it um she's a

member of mvp she came into uh she's now well she came into our mvp sessions an mvp up here in it we're in seven cities right now but in la we we train in Unbreakable, we're in Tech. The Combat Vets and athletes, and we merge them together on Wednesday nights. It's free to all of them. And we train for about a half hour, just to give that burn. But then after we have these mental health talks, and these huddles, and man, they have the sexual trauma that they've opened up about in there.

Has been just, wow, well. It's probably healing for so many to talk about it and then men and women release it absolutely every one of us is just man we got your back we were there for you well andy for the first year and a half and we met andy she was homeless um and i think she was living on the va campus by then um but andy's and she in, she didn't say a word for the first year, just came in, didn't say anything. And after a year, she's like, wow, these are brothers and sisters, I could,

it's a team, I could, a vulnerable team. She finally, the stuff she's held onto, she finally opened up and she was, she grew up in a cult. She was repeatedly grown up by her father. She used the military to get away, and then she was. Oh my gosh. And then came back over here, homeless, drugs, alcohol.

She is now my second highest ranking female executive. Oh my gosh, it gives me chills. She is, so she talks about this now. And last year we had Josh Burris, who is the CEO of GNC, and he was listening to a session. She was opening up, she goes, guys today is this anniversary of this, this, this, and she starts opening up and she's like,

for the first time I have brothers who get my back. I have men who get my back. And Josh Burris is like, oh my God, this person just said all this? Oh my God, and he said, I'm donating a million dollars right now to MVP. And it was because this woman was so vulnerable and open with us, Andy.

And she's, she went from homeless to our second highest ranking female executives. And she works at Unbreakable too. She's amazing. So when you turn your, we just had a Dallas chapter opening, she went down there and spoke with me and Dan Quinn, so defense coordinator down there and a bunch of us,

and Troy Aiken was there and a bunch of people were there, and Andy told her story. And afterwards I said, how do you feel? And she said, I think pretty cool. And I said, you're the biggest rock star in this room right now. There are people, and she goes, I actually, how do you feel? And she said, I think pretty cool. And I said, you're the biggest rock star in this room right now. There are people, and she goes, I actually am feeling it. And she said, but you know what?

I deserve to, it was my suffering. I'm like, here you go. But that's what I'm saying. Like we've all, this isn't heaven where we live, right? It's not gonna be perfect. We've all had really bad things happen to us. We can overcome it, right? And we can use it to motivate us,

or we could let it beat us down. And it's easier to let it beat us down, but that can't be the option that I want us to all take. But it's more worth it overcoming it. Absolutely. Look how good you feel on it. I know. What was the biggest, the first thing you felt

like you had to overcome early in life? No, so I was tiny. It was, growing up in Jersey, being the smallest one in the room all the time. You were getting picked on a lot. We, not even, yeah, but not even picked on one. Yeah, I just, I couldn't fight, I wrestled 101 pounds in high school.

Right. I was 101. Right, so, kind of always kind of got left. I was a few years behind everybody school. I was 101. So, kind of always got left. I was a few years behind everybody. So that was always hard. But I was always kind of this in your face type of cat. But it was in your face. I knew I could only get a certain point. In your face until you started beating me up.

Until the guys were 200, just like I'm 101. But I've always been a tough kid, but I couldn't really do a lot about it. And I just also, I just never felt loved growing up. That was the hardest thing to make. You never felt loved. Did your parents love you?

Yeah, and I just didn't, I just didn't feel it. I just didn't, yeah, and then actually, I'd go upstairs at night, I always get punished, because I'd lash back out, and I was always,

and I was afraid of the dark, and I just started talking to God by myself, like, oh yeah, just, no one taught me, I just did. And that's my choice to have faith. I believe in a loving God, and I was like my best friend parent, and that's my choice. It's not a hateful God where I'm getting punished for everything, which is weird,

because I always feel like I deserve to be punished. Kind of odd, because I think that way. What was the biggest lesson you learned growing up and who taught you that lesson? Biggest lessons were from my dad. Outwork the world and be loyal and your dreams will come true. Wow.

Absolutely. From your dad, huh? From my dad. Outwork the world and be loyal. So loyalty was, man, it's always my brand. That's cool. And I have just worked my butt off my whole life to make sure, like I got a text from a Navy SEAL buddy

of mine the other day, he said, I had a dream the other night that, man, I was about to get jumped in these football stands and you were right behind me and he just said, I was good, cause you were there. And it's just like, it's just this loyalty. And he goes, we all know you're there for us. That's nice.

And I was like, that's, yeah. That fills me up, but they know I am. Like drop of a dime, if you're stranded anywhere in the world, you know to call me and I'll drop everything for you. That's beautiful. And I kind of view it, I view everybody like, I'm gonna be so loyal to them,

hoping it's gonna sound a little morbid here. So loyal that I want to up being their pallbearer. Wow. That's as loyal as you get. And if I can get 10 or 15% of my crew to treat me back the same way, I got a pretty good little team around me. And you got 15 pallbearers for you too.

Yeah, wow, man. What was the biggest lesson your mom taught you? Biggest lesson my mom taught me my mom so I have a million I have six careers I do at the same time my mom did the same thing growing up Yeah, so she was like staying home mom, but she started all these businesses in the house and they ended up starting Preschools for communicationally handicapped children. So I worked at those Wow life group and that's actually how I got diagnosed with ADD in 1989. Through them. It took me to, they had one place

over by Princeton University and they brought me in, and this is 89. So I got diagnosed with that, I got put on Ritalin, which, ooh, talking about messing up your brain chemistry. And then I have to go tell my teachers, hey, I got this new thing called ADD and explain it. And they're like, and I was like, Ferris Bueller, they're like, Oh, yeah, of course, you need to take a pill and step out of the room. Yeah,

whatever. Right. So yeah, they didn't know I was in my first year of college for my first year. I didn't get kicked out of college. But, you know, I had to educate college professors. And then I was also trying, and I've tried to do this, and I've read a lot of this in the book, don't call it a learning disability. What should we call it? ADD.

It's also, they've decided to lump it in all together, ADD and ADHD. Not, like, my kid has ADD, and they call it ADHD. He is not hyper at all. So they kind of lump things in, but also like, man, when we're growing up and they say, oh, this kid has a learning disability, there's a negative connotation to it. We just don't learn like everybody else.

It's not a disability, but I know the way I learn is way better than the way that teacher over there may have learned to that coach over there. You know what I mean? We just didn't learn well in school format. Yes, we didn't learn their way. Sports and in the world, we were able to connect with people

and learn in other ways. But if you brought them into a football meeting room and they couldn't pick up your playbook, would you call them disabled? No. They shouldn't call us disabled. Yes, that's true. Yep.

Just not good at that thing. Not good at that, yeah. It's not disabled, we just, we don't pick that up. We're not gonna call you disabled because you can't pick up a playbook. That's true. And that would always hurt me a lot when they would say that. And I was a remedial English early.

And here I wrote a book. I know, I almost flunked out English my senior year. My senior year teacher, she was like, Louis, you can't go to college if you don't finish high school English class. And so she was great at just like tutoring me every day after class, like trying to help me just get a passing grade so I could go play football.

Yeah, wow. My parents got me a tutor every day. Yeah, man. For my class. I just didn't get it. It's the worst, man. It's hard to remember. I would read like pages in a book

and just have to keep rereading the same pages. And be like, after an hour, you're like, this is pointless. I'm gonna fail anyways. What's the point of doing this? I skipped the reading comprehension part for my SATs. So I was just like, skipped it, I knew I had no shot. But clearly, I'm not learning disabled. Clearly, it hasn't held me back from reaching my dreams.

I have accomplished my dreams. So, you know, again, there's certain things I'm good at, certain things I'm not good at. We all have that. Let's not call us disabled in any way. What's the three proudest moments of your life? Three proudest moments of my life. That come to your mind, you know, obviously,

if you have more time to think about it, but what's the first thing that came to mind? Three proudest moments from early childhood till now. When I started, again, coming to the Giants for all those years, just broke it and broke it. The first day I walked in that Giants locker room in 1993, which is already four years into my career, finally got a break for that 450 bucks,

was like nothing. But it was my first real job. I walked in that Giants locker room and I said, okay, I have no education compared to everybody else there. I have no, this is the Mecca of television, sports, New York City. I have no experience, how could I be different? And for me, I try and preach that to people,

let's not be a face in the crowd. Let's be the crowd, be your own crowd. That's what stands out, right? You're different, everybody, we're different. So how could I be different? So what'd you do? So I said, number one, if these reporters here work, I said, I'll be the last dude standing. So if they work 40 hours a week, I'm not going to work them by a little.

I'm not working by a lot. A lot. So I'd work 100 hours a week. And I had, I couldn't afford subway to bus to Giant Stadium and back every day. So Michael Strahan drove me into New York City. How'd you convince him to drive you? Nobody talked to him for like, Michael didn't like make it to his fifth year. No one talked to him.

He got drafted to be the top pass rush of the Giants to replace Lawrence Taylor. Lawrence Taylor's still on the team. Michael has bad teeth and a speech impediment comes from Germany, wasn't a good thing. So no one talked to him. And those other reporters didn't talk to me. We met our first ever days on the job ever and latched on to each other.

And we just every day. And what I would also do is I would get these other. So he would drop you off every day of my life. So I owe him about $29,000. One can tell affair and like what Michael validated me to other players that you could trust this guy. Right. But I also the other thing I did is I said,

okay, A, I'm not working by a lot. B, I'm not gonna use my pen as a weapon. Back then. You know, talk bad about them. Well, I'm just not gonna, I'm not gonna use my pen as a weapon. Back then, it was, everything splashed on the back page. It was bad, right?

I said, I'm gonna start relationships. I have more in common with these players than I do my fellow reporters said, I'm gonna start relationships. I have more in common with these players than I do my fellow reporters. So I'm gonna start relationships. It was so frowned upon back then. Oh my God, they used to kill me and Michael. Now that's all they wanna do is try to build relationships to get the story.

I've started a different way of doing it. So I had every scoop and every start, but that's the smart thing. Build a relationship, the scoops will come. If you go for the one scoop, you burn yourself forever. You burn out a relationship, the scoops will come. If you go for the one scoop, you burn yourself forever. You burn out a relationship. Short-sighted.

But also, again, me needing a team, even though I was the reporter and they're the players and the coaches, they're my team for my own mental health. I latched onto them. I needed that. So it took me, again, overall 11 years to get a full-time job. Wow. But I just kept going. I kept crying.

And what I did too is I got those players that was covering and the coaches to see my plight. Man, this guy's so broke. But he's the first one here by hours. He's the last one here by hours. We want to see him make it. Like I got them to see my plight. I collected more of a team around me

to walk this walk together with me. Finally, in 1999, I am on a driving range on Randall's Island with Tiki Barber, the Giants running back, and my agent is still with me, Maury Gostrand, who I kind of got turned down by 20 agents. I'm just trying to build this team that it's not just me like doing this. And he just happened to be home sick one day and saw me doing a free show on channel five there And he's like all those kids good It calls me up and he says hey, what are you doing? I said, I'm Playing golf with Tiki a little driver and she said okay

And I get choked up here Cuz this is my moment. There's only time there's a few times in life when we really find out who we are. This is one of them. And he said, you can excel. And I said, what do you mean? He said, we finally got you a full-time job. Now this is 11 years of, and let me back up, not only did I outwork these guys,

I was trying to get a job every week of my life. I got rejected more than any human being you'll ever see in your life But that relentlessness I told you about of me having that depression anxiety. I had to go for something bigger So I felt that love from the outside in so hard I'm like I'll be rejected over and over and over and over and over just constantly rejected and And I had this thing where actually every week, so for six days I got rejected, I covered the Giants, covered the NFL, grinded, grinded, grinded, it's exhausted, swimming upstream.

And again, I'm real spiritual, I read in a prayer book to the fourth commandment, God commands you to take a day off and drink some wine. I take it literal every week. and drink some wine. So don't try me with a good time. I take it literal. Every week, I take one day and say, okay, whatever happened this past week, it's done, it's over. Like all the rejection, it's over.

And I'm giving myself a day to heal. One day, and literally after that one day, I would look up to God and say, okay, God, I'm not asking you to get me this job. I'm not asking you to help me win this interview. And I think we do that too much, right? I'm not asking you to get me this job. I'm not asking you to help me win this interview. And I think we do that too much, right? I'm not asking you to get me money.

All I'm asking is you pick me up, brush me off, let's keep walking this walk together. Right? So I've never felt fully alone, right? Wow, that's beautiful. And I didn't look at it as an 11 year span of being rejected. I looked at it as 11 years of one week periods. Interesting.

So it's much more easy to manage. It's like I've been going for a decade and nothing's happening. I have a thing in here that says you never know what lies around next Tuesday. Absolutely. I was always hunting for that next Tuesday when something happened.

Finally 11 years in, a Tuesday came. Wow, so he said you can exhale. And what did he say? We got you a job. He said you finally got a full-time job. I said with who? He said, the NFL today on CBS. Cause they just got football back.

I said, he said, you're going to be there on NFL insider. I said, I'll take it. And he said, don't want that much it's for. And I said, I don't give a. It's more than what I'm making now, probably. I said, here gets the choked up part. I said, Maury, this was my validation.

When I walked in that giant locker room all those years later and I said, Maury, this was my validation. When I walked in that giant locker room all those years later and I said, I'll be the last dude standing. This validated that. All this stuff I've done, all the rejection, it validated it. And I said to him, before you tell me the salary, if it took me another 10 years to get this,

I would have done it. And it takes, and listen, it takes a lot out of you. It does beat your soul down. And it was for 50 grand a year and it was the biggest thing that ever happened to me My life like so it's a long story there, but 2005 is that what that was? No, no, no 99 Oh 99 when you got this Fox Fox, yeah, I got four two thousand four I went to Fox and five years later. You got to Fox. Yeah. And that was more than 50K. Well, what happened when I got the 50 grand from CBS

and also that internet thing came out. Of course. Which I think is gonna take off. You should have invested it now. Yeah. And I became the first minute by minute breaking news guy in America. Me, John Clayton, who just passed away,

and Len Pasquerelli, we were kind of battling out and no one did that back then. So before us, there was no, it was due to wait for the newspapers the next day. And before us, there was no crawl in bottom of the screen. So we started it. And so I got an extra 50 from CBS Sportsline to do that. Nice. And another 25 or 35 from local CBS to do the Jets Giants.

So I went from 9,750 bucks a year to 135 grand. Yes. Pretty good coin back then too. Oh my God, it was just. 99, that's pretty good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's good money right there. But again, what I realized is,

as I started moving up the ladder, and then Fox saw me from CBS, which obviously way better fit. Make my wallets not an antidepressant. It's not an antidepressant. What do you mean by that? I thought when I made it big, big, big, there was gonna be rainbows and unicorns.

That's why I've worked so hard to, man, look where I am now. I've had a lot of those moments. So it was definitely, there's two sides. There's a lot that's better, like I've been broke and I've been un lot of those moments. So it was definitely, there's two sides. There's a lot that's better, when I've been broke and I've been unbreakable. Right? But when you're broke, there's a lot of things like,

I had nothing to lose. So I didn't have that fear of losing stuff, that anxiety. Now when you have all this, you're so horrified you're gonna lose it. Really, so you have more anxiety now than then? I think so. I think you just petrified to lose it all the time. Wow. Maybe that 2005 was when you went to Fox I think you just petrified to lose it all the time. Wow.

Maybe that 2005 was when you went to Fox and there was more to lose then. Well now as I've gotten to this level, it's like, yeah, that whole more money, more problems thing and it's all different type of problems. But I just think that when you work so hard and you finally do make it, you're so afraid to lose it. You don't want to lose it. Yeah. It's almost like fighting not to lose instead of to win. So I've got to lose it. You don't wanna lose it. Yeah, it's almost like fighting not to lose instead of to win.

Yeah. So how do you switch that? I've gotta alter that. I've gotta make sure I recognize and just go. And like, hey, just be me. Play free, man. Yeah, yeah. Just be me, you know?

But it's, look, it's all, and a lot of it too is like, I don't think logically a lot, because those roommates in my head don't like me to have joy. Like, don't, so anytime I want to enjoy something, you don't deserve it. You're not worthy of it. So I think that's part of it also. I don't know if it's for everybody.

It's part of it for me. And listen, I'm a work in progress man. Yeah, of course. We all are. I'm trying to learn to get there. That's why I keep doing things like this to hope that okay, Maybe this is the thing That's gonna help finally get me to meet in the middle Wow, or I could feel that worth from the inside out and I it's like I know I'm worthy being loved

So here's the crazy part. I know I'm worthy of it, but I don't feel like I deserve it really No, it's probably the other way around. I feel like I deserve it, but I don't feel like I'm worthy of it. That's it. Yeah, I'm kind of doing a little stuff. When was the time you felt the most loved? This isn't good because this isn't real love, but when I would break huge stories in the NFL, everybody would be like, oh my gosh. When again, I was ahead of the game in this

and it was like, man, I was the first one doing this. It was like on a different, like I had the Spygate video. That was a crazy time in my life that, yeah, that was my second week in Fox and that's the biggest scoop in the history of sports. The actual video when the Patriots caught, filming the Jets coaches and cheating. But you're asking me like, the love,

that's not a real love. I felt admired and people like, oh my god, this is like, you know, this is this is different. But the most loved I don't know. I don't know how to answer that question. Yeah, I don't know. You got you have a son, right? Mm-hmm. It's lovely the son or his friends or family. I mean, but you said I don't know how to I don't, when have you had the most love?

I don't know how to answer that. I enjoy being with my friends. I love being with them. You don't feel loved. Yeah. And I always feel like they're gonna catch on soon to this fraud that I am because I'm this you know, I'm this terrible person inside. And that's what tells you a lot. Yeah, that's why you ask on. Why do you think you're a terrible person? That's what it tells me, I don't know. My mother asked me recently, she said,

do you, because she sees how exhausted I am from it. It has exhausted me. And she said, how do you, and I told her how bad, and I don't say it here, how bad I do to myself. She's like, myself. She's like what She's like look at all the good you do. I said I I know but I just don't feel that I deserve that right and Um or the worthy of that and she said has to be exhausting and I said

So exhausting so I said mama and I don't get right back to you, that's why, like I'm going through it. Right? Right? And it is totally, so yet all I wanna do is be loved and then people kind of reach out and love me. I'm already so tired from- Well, can't receive the love yet. It's hard to receive it, man. Well, that was one of the most proud moments you said

when you got that phone call. What was the second and third most proud moments would you say? Man. And it can be a big thing, it can be a small thing, it can be- Look, I would say, when I first started MVP,

that was- That's pretty cool. That's pretty cool. Having, kind of that say like, man, thank you, you saved my life. That's got me a lot. Or we have another employee named Denver Morris, who's our national outreach director.

We met him, he was living in a homeless shelter, coming off his third suicide attempt. He still, first time he told me that, man, you saved my life. Like, oh my God, MVP saved my life like oh my god MVP saved my life and Those moments now I there's a lot of those yeah, those get me I have one Two days ago from one of our guys here. Hey brother. Just checking in on you. Hope you're doing well

I'm coaching in the weekend with a positive mindset. Love you brother. Next time you look in the mirror, tell that guy, thanks for saving my life. Tell that guy, thanks for saving my life. Grateful you've made this impact on the world. See I can't like, listen, I'm a, you know, no one's questioning my manhood. I could cry in a drop of a doctor.

I could sit there and be like, oh, glazes of wussy, so, but let's think about that. To me though, it's just really this to you. It's pretty, so these come in a lot, Glazer's a wussy. But think about that. To me, though, it's just really just you. So these come in a lot. So there's a lot of proud moments now. And it's for me being of service to people. That's pretty cool. That's incredible, man.

It's pretty cool. That's beautiful. What do you see? I mean, you've accomplished so much in the last, really in the last 20 years, I guess, 23 years since you, I call it 30 years, since you started the journey for 11 years of going after the dream. I'm 52 now. I look fantastic, don't I?

You look great, man. And then, you know, getting the job, you know, the bigger job, and then on Fox, and then Hall of Fame and TV, and all these, you know, Unbreakable, and all the thousands of athletes that you work with. Don't forget Bowlers. Five years on Bowlers. Dude, that's one of my favorite shows, man. Heck yeah the friends. Don't forget Ballers. Five years on Ballers. Dude, that's one of my favorite shows, man.

Heck yeah, absolutely. You got a great role in that show. I know. Yourself. Great looking Jewish reporter. Exactly. And I didn't follow my lines because I couldn't remember them.

So I just. You just make it up again. And I just mess with Dwayne. So that's the whole thing. That's amazing. That's actually, we've been close for a while, but we really started having mental health talks way back then.

Really? Yeah, we get real vulnerable what's the biggest lesson? DJ has taught you in the space of mental health and also in just life man He is he saw me a couple weeks ago on TV promoting this and he called he said what's up, so we mean he said I saw you today I said, yes, what's wrong and something was wrong. I was going through with another an issue What's wrong and something was wrong. I was going through with another an issue and He saw it but fact he stepped away and saw that and he said okay

I'm gonna call you four times that I got your brother and but the biggest thing for him is May he is like this authentic to the same thing though like he that dude thinks he's gonna be broke next week he literally thinks he's gonna have seven bucks in his pocket next week. And for me, we're special. Here's the biggest star in the world, and yet we call each other and send each other notes and lean on each other for mental health almost every day.

Whether it's, when I had that anxiety attack the other night, I reached out to him, struggling, and there was another issue I was going through, hey, how did you handle this? And boom, when I had the book too, again, he's like, you're gonna be that voice of the gray for all of us, and I'm gonna put my team behind you also. Because it's gonna help you, it's gonna help me,

it's gonna help a lot of us. It's gonna help the next generation of Dwayne's and Jay's out there and stuff. So he's very selfless. He's incredibly selfless. And that's the biggest lesson I learned from him is you could be the biggest star in the world and still be incredibly selfless.

Still just give, give, give. And I think he does so much charity work and all this work he does for people. Same thing, he's trying to show himself, I'm okay. Like when you work so hard and you get all that rejection that he did or I did or you did, right? He's showing up extreme all those years, it's exhausting. It is.

So yeah, it peets that in your soul a lot. So we're there to love each other up, man. It's just so crazy he became him, my little niece. Who looks like Sasquatch. When did you first meet him? Have you guys known each other for a while? I did a movie with him called The Game Plan, Disney movie, where I was just like,

and I just started messing with him. Again, the laughter part, I mess with everybody. And it just kind of stood out. Everybody else was like, and I was just, so when I go down and do ballers, like he'd be over there with his team, and then everybody else would be over here and I'd just come walking through

and I'd be like, where's Sasquatch? I can't work like this. And I'd go through and he would sit there and he'd have his lines. And I'd be like, don't say it like that. He's like, who are you telling that to? I'm like, I got this, what I do for a living. He's like, no, you don't.

I just mess with them. Or I would change my lines. They eventually had, it went from scripts, they said to like Glaser scripts, at least for my size. They just knew. Yeah, they just knew. Yeah, just a bullet point. Yeah, just say something.

They knew I just wouldn't remember it. And I was just being myself. So I would mess with them all the time. And we try and get a little, you know, me, I run a fun locker room. So I try and make it rancid and dirty and kind of shock value. And they kept most of it.

Ah, that's great, man. Yeah, it was great. You got a great little camera on there every time I see you. I have five seasons of that. It's pretty big man. It's pretty cool. It was like that was that's the obviously Fox and the Bull Sunday for me every week is just incredible because that's our locker room. Yeah it's fun. We sit back there and watch games together and just it's pretty awesome crush each other and there's six of us on the show and there's 19 personalities and Bradshaw and I have 11 of those so but ballers was so much fun that's cool cuz I probably get I didn't care cuz I'm not an actor right so I'm

just gonna be myself yeah they're not fired me I got this camera okay that's a man you would just be like yeah just keep rolling I would just so I mean, I got this camera. I'm okay. And he would just be like, yeah, just keep rolling. I would just, I mean, I would say, yeah, 90% of my stuff probably wasn't, it was supposed to be scripted, I just didn't follow it. That's amazing, man. I'm really excited about people to get this book,

Unbreakable, How I Turn My Depression and Anxiety into Motivation, and you can too. This is powerful because I think a lot of people feel unmotivated when they have anxious thoughts, stress, depression, or just issues where they don't feel worthy, don't feel loved, don't feel enough. I know I faced a lot of that in my life, but I was...

What was your turning point? Man, I was driven... The thing is, I had a drive to prove everyone wrong about me. So everyone, just being bottom of my class, special needs, picked on, being kind of tall. You were the short kid? I was this tall when I was like 11, but not this built. So I was like this goofy, kind of like big-eared, big teeth, just they made fun of the appearance. So it wasn't until I really turned 16, 18, 20 where I started to fill out my body.

So it's kind of like the opposite. I was tall, but I was made fun of being tall. And so I just remember many moments being made fun of, pick last, and on the playground, whatever it is, for little sports. And just being like, I'm gonna prove everyone wrong who's made fun of me, who's doubted me. Were you resentful to them?

Do you wanna get back at them? I just wanted to show them, look, I'm gonna prove everyone wrong who's made fun of me, who's doubted me. Were you resentful to them? Do you wanna give back at them? I just wanted to show them, look, I did something that they never thought I could do. And it drove me to get incredible results. And that it gave me motivation, but it was a motivation out of more anger and resentment than love and inspiration. And so I would accomplish and achieve,

and then I transitioned from sports and then I played with the USA handball team for nine years played them you know. I don't know how your knees hold up in that. I know right. You kidding me? And I was like I'm gonna do this in sports and then I did it in business but then I hit a turning point at 30 and 39 now where I was like I'm accomplishing and accomplishing and accomplishing but I still don't feel lovable and I don't feel enough. The turning point was facing the sexual abuse and talking about it and allowing myself to be vulnerable.

And that's where everything shifted because I was in such a competitive mindset, I had to win at everything. I had to be the number one and win at everything at everyone else's expense of being a loser. And if I lost, then I was worthless. I was not good enough. Even if I broke, the day I broke the world record

for the most yards in a game, we lost. So I was beating myself up for days. Even though. That's a good quality though, because you lose is not. Yeah, I won the match. Your team lost, yeah. Exactly.

It's a great quality. Yeah, but it wasn't until I hit 30, and I started down a healing journey of therapy and lots of different stuff where I said, it's not gonna be about competition, it's gonna be about collaboration. It's about how can I win and how can I get everyone else to win with me?

Yes. And that collaborative, and I didn't know collaboration was a thing. I knew teamwork was a thing, but not against someone else like collaboration. So now it's just like, how can I win by lifting everyone else up? How can I make you win?

How can I shine the light on you, put you on a platform, support your message, your mission to serve people, in return, good things are gonna happen. Good things are gonna happen to me. As opposed to, I need to be the biggest show, the best show, the most successful in the world to make me feel good instead how can I serve the world and I feel great that that's the and that's

that give-give right that loyalty I talked about how it'd be and that you know whenever we train football players or help a lot of coaches kind of move up in the NFL ranks and that's why I have this loyalty but I was telling listen I know I'm crazy. If you follow along, man, we'll change your grandkids' lives. Right, so it's like, we'll lift you to such stuff, but it's not, we don't get anything out of it. This is for you to change your kid. And when I do see that, and this guy gets a head coaching job or makes a pro bowl, or just starts getting up here

where he can give back to charities that, again, when things happen to other people, you ask, so your question question was what's the best thing that's happened to me I don't see that if you said to me what's made you feel the best out of it's when something's happened to everybody else like you're saying you lift people up then I have something tangible for me man this has happened that's happened I've walked this walk with this person I've helped this person overcome this I've got they've gotten up here now that's that's the key. That's really the key to success Absolutely. The best thing has ever happened to me that I think of this moment was learning how to heal my heart Because my heart was in a prison for so long and it felt trapped and it felt painful

I felt tension and all these things and learning out of it and it's a journey. It's not like it's one night It's it's all better. It's not like it's one night, it's all better. It's been like a journey of finding, having more inner peace than I did stress because it used to be all stress and anxiety and I couldn't sleep at night. It would just be up all night thinking, worrying, stressed. Learning how to find inner peace has been a game changer

because I feel like I have more energy. And look at, it's hard to see right now that we live in a good world right there's so much stuff however look at two guys right here we're in sports who've talked down about sexual trauma yeah suicide depression anxiety cry to hear yeah so we are actually coming along a lot further in certain ways to make this world a better place like that's our only kind our only hope moving forward for this next generation.

Absolutely. I think specifically for men who are holding on to trauma, I think in order for the world to heal and relationships to heal, I think men need to heal personally and start talking more like this. It's interesting because I thought obviously me being center of Judaism with football and fighting and bowlers, I thought it was gonna be a male-centric book and yeah

it's Majority female of like goddess so they can and they were saying hey to their boyfriends or husbands and they're all just like hey That's not me. Yes, you it's definitely you and that's why what we gotta go man dudes together So like it's you dude. It's so you you tell me I wrote a book five years ago called The Mask of Masculinity, which was for men on how to open up and be more vulnerable. Almost all, 80% women bought it and tried to give it to the men.

But this is the challenge that we're gonna face where women are gonna hopefully bring this in and share with their guys more. And this is why we gotta continue to be a Trojan horse. Talk about sports and do the rough and tough stuff, but slide in the vulnerability when we can, I think. But were you able to make that, did it switch over? Yeah, there's a long tail now where it's like.

So you gotta tell me, off here, you gotta tell me what to do. Yeah, yeah, no, it's been great. I was kinda shocked, I thought it was smooth. But I had dinner recently, and there was a couple there I'm friends friends with and this dude's a big dude and his wife is sitting there with me and his wife was like It was just telling me what it's somebody said

Oh just just for a book and she's like and we just talked about How miss USA just committed suicide? There's most beautiful girl in the world felt that lonely that alone right and this woman said to me, that's me, that's how I feel. I said, well, talk to your teammate, he's right there. And she says, he won't get it. And I said, you deserve to have him understand what you're going through. You deserve this.

He's right, and she literally is saying that she wants, I said, you need to call him over and I said, and she said, we have some homework. And he said, I heard about his book. And she said, I said you need to call them over and I said and she said We have some homework and he said I heard about his book and she said I do need you to read a couple these chapters To me so like that's yes. Yes, but that's exactly your comment took a woman Yeah, she's like he won't get it. Well dudes need to start getting absolutely. They need to start get it They deserve to get it their wives and girlfriends and their moms and dads and children They deserve from them to get it. Their wives and girlfriends and their moms and dads and children, they deserve from them to get it. But most importantly, the dudes themselves deserve it.

They deserve not to be in this kind of pain that we're talking about. I don't deserve this pain. I didn't sign up for it. I know. Well, you're working through it too. This is beautiful. I could use it, man.

I've got two final questions for you. Before I ask them, I want people to get a copy of the book, get it for your friends. If you have a friend that maybe is feeling more stressed or anxious get him a copy to really inspire them Follow you all over social media. You're mostly on Instagram, right? Is that the main place you're hanging out or Twitter? You're a lot of Twitter too. Yeah, I do you following socks. I don't know what I'm doing You can share more you're on Twitter. Well, I used to break stories on Twitter all the time But now I try not to look on social media

because it just pulls me down. So follow me on Twitter. Chuck, if you're in LA, check out Unbreakable. It's an amazing gym. It's world-class. It's so inspiring and it's gonna get you another level of... And it's a great community.

It's the only gym in America. I have a therapist in there. That's incredible. I hired a full-time therapist in there. That's cool. Because that's when like for me, I feel like I'm working out is when I feel the most vulnerable, going to talk. That is cool, man.

And our motto is we build you from the inside out. Oh, that, I love that. I love that bit. And there's not the only gym in America missing, no mirrors. That's cool. Cause I don't want anybody's back turned to the rest of the gym. If you're sitting there checking yourself out, you got your back turned to everybody else. So we really are, we build you up from the inside out. That is cool. Cause I don't want anybody's back turned to the rest of the team. If you're sitting there checking yourself out, you got your back turned to everybody else.

So we really are, we build you up from the inside out. That is cool, man. Appreciate it. So make sure you guys check that out. This is a question. And anybody can get in. Yeah, of course. This is a question I ask everyone towards the end of the show.

It's called three truths. So I'd like you to imagine a hypothetical scenario. It's your- Well then it wouldn't be true. The scenario is, it's your last day on earth, many years away. You get to live as long as you wanna live. You get to accomplish everything.

You put out more books. Whatever you wanna do, you do it. But for whatever reason, you've gotta take all of your books, this interview, video content, anything of you speaking or saying anything. Written, audio, video, it's of you speaking or saying anything. Written audio, video, it's got to go to the next place.

So no one has access to your information anymore, just memory. But you get to leave behind three lessons to the world, three things you know to be true, and this is all we would have to remember you by. What would you say would be those three lessons or three truths? Vulnerability is true strength. That's right out the gate. Vulnerability is true strength. Oh, yeah That's right out the gate vulnerabilities true strength The secret of success is at work in the world and being loyal

And Last one would be love yourself up. Yeah, we gotta give ourselves a break. Amen. Alright? Learn to love yourself up. Learn to love yourself up. That's beautiful.

I wanna, before I ask the final question, Jay, I wanna acknowledge you for going on this journey. I think it's really hard for men in general, but specifically a guy like you from Jersey in this world. Kind of grown up, you know, before me, when this stuff wasn't even talked about. To be able to open up about it, write a book, pour your heart out to the world, and really share a lot of rough stuff

that you're sharing here, and the vulnerabilities at the platform that you have, I think it's really inspiring. And you're allowing other men like you to be inspired to do the same with their communities, their families, their girlfriends, whatever it might be. So I really acknowledge you for doing the work, showing up and being willing to not be perfect, not have it all figured out, you know what I mean?

So it's a beautiful journey, man. I'm really excited for you. And like I said, look, I'm trying to learn to love myself up. I'm trying to learn to be loved. Because that's all I want is to be loved and have that love, right? And I haven't felt worthy of it. It's gotten away from most of my, a lot of my relationships.

Now I think if I can get in with this, the more I can do that, I could hopefully feel that worthiness and I'll have that happiness I've been kind of searching for. Of course man, it's coming. This is part of the process man. It's that journey where probably wasn't, I couldn't recognize it years ago but now that I'm talking about like this, this is the version of me that I do want somebody else to be with

and me to be with. Absolutely, man that's beautiful man. Thank you brother. Final question, what's your definition of greatness? Just lifting somebody else up. Yeah, this isn't being cliche like again, it's it's um It's not success and like career No, it's how you use wherever you ask for somebody else, but it's like

You see what some of the great the great ones done, but what they've done with their platform. That's greatness. If you just do it for yourself, it's not greatness, you've just done a lot of really good stuff. You've accomplished some things, but it's not greatness. Greatness is when you lift everybody else up right. Like listen, I said it in Strahan's Hall of Fame speech,

I said, you know, being a great player, you're great. great the Hall of Famer you lift up everybody else around you yeah that's what greatness is lifting up everybody else around you that's a great definition I always say that success is what you do for yourself greatness is what you do for others there we go thank you so much for listening I hope you enjoyed today's episode and it inspired you on your journey towards greatness make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a full rundown of today's episode and it inspired you on your journey towards greatness. Make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a full rundown of today's show with all the important links. And also make sure to share this with a friend and subscribe over on Apple Podcasts as well. I really love hearing feedback from you guys, so share a review over on Apple and let me know

what part of this episode resonated with you the most. And if no one's told you lately, I want to remind you that you are loved, you are worthy and you matter. And now it's time to go out there and do something great.