The School of Greatness - How To Reshape Your Beliefs Around Money, Love & Your Future w/Anthony ONeal EP 1222

Episode Date: January 31, 2022

Today’s guest is Anthony ONeal. Anthony is known for helping teach others how to obtain mental, spiritual and financial freedom. He’s a #1 national bestselling author who has helped over 250,000 people set out on a path towards a debt-free life with his book Debt-Free Degree.He’s launched a new course called The “Pillar 8” Blueprint: The Key to Maximizing Your Single Season, Creating Unstoppable Power and Prosperity in Your Life and Relationships.In this episode we discuss the negative beliefs about money you should stop having, the habits you need to form to make more money, how to develop a vision for yourself, the hard conversations to have with your partner around money to make sure they’re the right fit and so much more!For more go to: www.lewishowes.com/1222Get Anthony's new course: https://waitlist.anthonyoneal.com/Mel Robbins: The “Secret” Mindset Habit to Building Confidence and Overcoming Scarcity: https://link.chtbl.com/970-podDr. Joe Dispenza on Healing the Body and Transforming the Mind: https://link.chtbl.com/826-podMaster Your Mind and Defy the Odds with David Goggins: https://link.chtbl.com/715-pod 

This is episode number 1,222 with Anthony O'Neill. Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, a former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin. Welcome back, my friend. Today's guest is Anthony O'Neill, and he is known for helping teach others how to obtain mental, spiritual, and financial freedom. He's also a number one national best selling author who has helped over a quarter of a million people set out on a path towards a debt

free life with his book, Debt-Free Degree. And in this episode, we discuss the negative beliefs about money you should stop having, the habits you need to form to make more money, how to develop a vision for yourself, for your life and your financial future, the hard conversations to have with your partner around money to make sure that they're the right fit for you long term and so much more. If you're inspired by this, make sure to share this with someone that you think would love this episode as well. And just copy and paste the link wherever you're listening to this podcast or go to lewishouse.com slash 1222. And just text a few friends posted on social media. Make sure to tag me, Lewis Howes, and Anthony O'Neill as well

when you share this over on social media. Also, wanna give a big shout out to the fan of the week. This is from Create Intrigue. They put their name as Create Intrigue down, and they said, I adore the School of Greatness podcast. Lewis is a phenomenal host as he interviews the world's greatest thought leaders. I love listening to it in my car

as it transforms the journey into an educational experience for my mind. So big thank you for being the fan of the week, for leaving that review. And if you want a chance to be shouted out on the show as well, then just go ahead and leave us a review right now over on Apple Podcasts. Make sure you subscribe as well. And a big thank you to everyone who's listening right now. Okay. In just a moment, the one and only Anthony O'Neill. You're talking all things wealth, getting out of debt, building wealth, changing the mindset around how to make money. And you're also talking a lot about

relationships and money. So I want to talk about some of these things. The first one is what are the things that we need to start changing in our lives that really hold us back from the process of generating more wealth? What are the things we need to start changing that's holding us back? You know, that's a good question, man. I think one of the very first things that I focused on was it has nothing to do with actually wealth. It has everything to do with who we are on the inside, our core. When we can really get down into our core and understand who are we at our core on the inside, it impacts our wealth building. Here in California, I went to Palomar College, and one of the main reasons why I got into debt, one of the main reasons why it took me a while to get to the state where I am today is because I was trying to please everyone else. I was allowing her and him to tell me how I should

think, how I should talk, how I should dress. And at my core, I wasn't confident in who I was. And so because of that, I was able to be manipulated into saying, you know what? I should look like this. Let me go put this on a credit card. Let me go finance. I put two leather couches, two leather couches inside an apartment that was running me about $1,500 a month, but it's only like 800 square feet. I financed that just to look good because somebody else told me, that's what you need to do. And I, at my core, didn't really understand who I was. Really? And so if you really want to start building wealth, one of the key ingredients to being wealth, in my personal opinion, is has nothing to do with

money. It has everything to do with who you are and how much you believe in yourself. What is your assignment? What were you born to do? When you really know that, then now you can move forward into building wealth. How do you know what your assignment is? For me, I'm a Christian, and so I practice the Christian faith. And I believe that I was put on this earth, one, to be a good father, to be a good husband, and then also to impact the minority and millennial culture when it comes to stewarding their single season and honestly getting out of debt and building true and lasting wealth. impact the minority and millennial culture when it comes to stewarding their single season and honestly getting out of debt and building true and lasting wealth. You see, wealth to me is just

not always about the finances. Wealth to me is like, what knowledge am I passing down to the community, to the culture, to my kids? What wealth am I passing down to the people who are watching us today? That knowledge. And when I think of wealth, I think of knowledge. I think of wealth I think of knowledge I think of wisdom I think of opportunities and so when I think about my assignment it's okay how'd you know that was your assignment man I didn't really know that honestly until maybe about 12 13 years ago I was sleeping in the back of my car off of highway 76 here in Oceanside, California, and I was homeless. And I remember being literally naked physically and naked spiritually. Right. And I was washing myself in the backseat of the car because I was about to go again, talk to a young lady.

And what do you mean? You're cleaning yourself just so you could go yeah exactly i didn't want to be funky i didn't i didn't smell bad and i wanted to meet up with her at the mall and they are in oceanside and man i was sleeping in the back of my car and i remember looking myself in the rearview mirror and i saw myself with soap suds from the top of my neck all the way down and i started crying and I was at that point, I didn't go see her that night because I was like, I'm tired of living the life that I'm living. And I said, there has to be something better for me. There has to be something bigger, better options. And it was at that time I started really looking for what is my purpose? Why am I here?

Who do I need to be? I started submitting myself to my parents again, to different mentors. And I really found my niche. And it was like, hey, how many people are actually teaching true wealth? How many people are teaching young people how to avoid debt? Everything is always about consuming debt. How many people are actually teaching them a different way? Hey, there's a different way of building wealth.

You can actually avoid debt and still build true wealth. But what's the true definition of wealth? See, growing up for me, wealth was what kind of watch do you have? What kind of car do you drive? What kind of house do you live in? What kind of shoes do you have on? What kind of backpack do you have? No one really said wealth is up here wealth is inside of here wealth is what are you passing down and so when i really started seeking for what is my purpose that's when i found my purpose

when i literally said i want to know why am i here right and when i said that specifically god started showing me different people in my life who helped me really reveal my true purpose. Interesting. So you realized from being broke and homeless that you wanted to learn, you wanted to teach wealth generation, but you didn't know how to make money at that point. No, I didn't. So you had to go on the journey of discovering what does that look like? What does that mean? How do I get out of debt? How do I earn a consistent living? How do I save it? How do I invest it? The whole process. You know, because growing up, man, I was taught, you know, I grew up in a very strong Christian faith home. I have four parents. I have

two biological parents and two step parents. My biological mom and stepdad and my siblings live here in California. Then my biological father and stepmom live in North Carolina, right? And I grew up in very church thing the only conversation we really had around finances was give right just give to the church that's it that's you didn't talk about money no we didn't really talk about hey here's how you here's how you build wealth here's how you start a business here's what entrepreneurship looks like it was hey when you get your money from Wendy's you want to get 10% to the church then what you do with the the other 90%? Save it. Save a little bit. But you want the shoes? You go buy it. No one

really talked to me about how to invest. No one said, hey, son, save this money, baby. Go start a small business. So growing up, I just knew go get a job, work the 40 hours a week, make sure you get a good 401k benefit package with some good health insurance and keep your credit score above a 700. And then you get a good retirement package at the end of your time. No one really said, hey, here's how you start thinking at 18 to build true wealth. Here's how you start a business. So I said, it has to be more. There has to be more than just living paycheck to paycheck, sleeping in the back of my car,

and looking at everyone else look good. But honestly, I was tired of looking good and honestly not being good. Yeah, that's a big one, man. Looking good is, that's tough. If you don't feel good on the inside, it doesn't matter how much money and how good you look, how shiny you are on the outside,

if it doesn't feel confident in yourself and proud of yourself of what you're creating. I'm curious, you've talked to a lot of different individuals, parents, families about money. What would you say are the three biggest conversation mistakes that parents teach their kids around money in general? Or three things that they don't teach they should be teaching what are they saying that's maybe not the best thing they should say you know you had your experience but what are other people saying that you're hearing number one thing is chores you know like we're gonna pay you and give an allowance for just being my son that's good or bad that's bad okay we shouldn't teach our kids that the world is going

to reward them for just being who they are no we need to teach our young people hey the world is going to reward you by actually producing and by working okay by offering a value exactly not by just living being just by waking up like what does that teach you if you're just going to give someone money consistently without working? Exactly. It doesn't teach you nothing. And then it's like, why are you paying your kids

to make up his bed to make up her bed? Why are you paying your kids to wash dishes? No. Pay them to go wash cars. Not your car, but your neighbor's car.

Pay them to go cut other people's grass. Pay them to go walk other people's dogs. Pay them to walk around the neighbor and pick up trash. Teach them the true value of working in exchange for finances. So that's number one is we got to stop teaching them that, hey, the only way you can get paid is, you know, make up your bed. Yeah, that's misleading our young people.

Number two is, you know, I wrote the book Debt Free Degree while I was with Ramsey Solutions, is that the only way to go to college is to finance it. You know, we got to start to stop telling our young people, hey, your Harvards and Yales and Princetons are the best schools out there. No, I know a lot of prestigious people who went to community colleges. I know a lot of people who went to a Harvard or a Yale, a prestigious school, but they're not prestigious individuals. And so we got to start teaching young people is, hey, go to college if that's the route that you want to go. But trade schools are actually in right now and it's and it's less expensive.

I got a friend who's a plumber who's making multiple six figures a year. I was a solo plumber crushing it. He's like, I go golfing every week I travel I was just in Hawaii and he's got his own little business in Vegas making multiple six figures I'm like you're crushing it he's like yeah no one wants to do this job I'm making bank no one man I just had a handyman come out to my house and asked her the 60 bucks an hour probably or something 150 hammering some nails up in here, you know. But nobody wants to do the ugly work.

Nobody wants to be hot. Nobody wants to be cold when it's, you know, 30 degrees outside. So he's, I mean, he can rack up. So we got to start teaching our young people. Start asking them, hey, what do you want to do? You know, what is it that you feel as if you can do in the world and actually enjoy it? Parents have to stop telling their kids what they will do okay you have some parents and hey I want you to go to this school and become this when you get older and then then

they grow up growing envy of their parents because their parents and to give them an opportunity to say you know what hey let's work hand in hand right or resentful or whatever it is exactly so it's like how do we do that together okay so that's number two and then number three this is gonna be an unpopular one but we got to stop teaching our kids that the only way to be successful financially is they have a high credit score mm-hmm we got to stop saying I don't even maybe I'm weird but I never even I don't know my credit score is I never I never tried to give my credit score I'd even like check what my credit score was

until like a year ago when I had to do some, I don't know, I signed up for some financial services thing and they had to like check it. And I was like, oh, okay. It's never meant anything to me. So well, first off, I've never bought a house. I've always rented. So it's never mattered, I guess,

because I've never tried to buy a house. And then I don't know what else I would need it for because I'm just, what about a car? You know, some people say I bought cash. You bought cash? Yeah. Let's go, Lou. Let's go. Well, I had a used car.

My dad taught me this principle. He always had used cars. Yeah, me too. And he had used car for like 10, 15 years. I mean, he would keep it perfectly clean. Okay. And highest condition for like 10, 15 years. So it always looked and felt new, even though it was old.

And he didn't understand the value of buying a new car, this is what he taught me early on, unless there was a massive tax break cut for him. So when I was like 16 or 17, he finally bought his first new car because it was a Denali, I'll never forget this. It was like 20 years ago, because there was some big tax cut for like getting an SUV

at that time, 20 years ago, I guess. And so he got a massive tax break for his business for that. And so, but other than that, he always had like a 1988 Oldsmobile, you know, it was just like that he then passed down to me for a thousand bucks and I drove that thing for a number of years. So I never bought a new car until three years ago.

I never had a new car. I had a, I had a 1997 Cadillac Eldorado Baritz for five years here in LA. In LA. Two door, didn't even have a radio. Didn't have Bluetooth, nothing. And I drove that. And I'm talking about the, with the business that I have,

being around the people I have. And I bought it for $4,000 used. Do you still have it? I bought it and I sold it back to the guy who sold it to me two and a half years ago when I bought my Tesla. So for a long time, I just had a $4,000 car. Wow. Because I didn't see the value at that time in buying a brand new car.

I was like, let me use this money to invest in my team and my business, in my personal development, my lifestyle. I didn't feel like I needed a flashy car, going back to your first point earlier. I didn't need that to feel good about myself yeah i just felt good by adding value and i felt comfortable in a car that got me from point a to point b and but you didn't need to look flashy you know but that came from the teaching of your father though yeah because he didn't have a flashy car exactly and nowadays and then too growing up because we're right around the same age social media wasn't big back then so we didn't

see all the flashy stuff just saw your neighbor maybe had a nice car and that was it or your friend or whatever had or whenever you go to church or something like that so like now this generation of kids are seeing the flashy stuff oh you got to have the nice car to be perceived as successful yeah i never felt it's funny i tell this story someone asked me this um i was doing a interview for someone who was applying for a position here at Greatest Media this morning. And she was like, do you still take your scooter to work? Because I talk about this in the show. I was just about to ask you that.

Yeah, I have a little like, it must have been like 200 bucks, $199 scooter. Right. Not electric. This is a push scooter. Oh, it's a push scooter. It's a push like a razor, like a big razor. I saw a video of it. I thought it was an electric one. No, man, it's not electric. And I literally am in a building, you know, it's a push scooter. It's a push like a razor, like a big razor. I saw a video of it. I thought it was an electric one.

No, man, it's not electric. And I literally am in a building, you know, a block away from here. So there's no point in driving. I could walk here a lot of time. And I take a little scooter most days. It's not here today because it's raining. But I'll scoot it over and I come out of my building

and there's like the fanciest cars you could ever imagine. Like every million dollar car you can think of, all those names, they're out there. And I'd like to just weave in and out of them. Just scoot around and just smile. Like sure, they're cool, but I don't need those things to feel fulfilled and happy. Like I'm a joyful human on my scooter.

It gets me where I need to be and it's fun. I'm not saying I wouldn't like one of those cars. I actually don don't care that like those cars don't mean much to me they're cool to look at and i'll sit in one and be like oh this is nice but i kind of feel weird driving it like i'm going to break something so um i don't know for me it's like it's a it's a mentality of just feeling good yeah and if that's your thing, you like flashy cars, you like flashy water, that's your thing. That's your thing. Cool. Yeah. But don't do it because you need to feel better about yourself, in my opinion. And it goes back to the core. Yeah. When you really know who you are, you operate and you walk differently. Yes. And that is something that over the last few years, I've really mastered

and really keep drilling into myself. This is who you are. This is where you're going I like cars. I am a car. Yeah, so it's your thing. That is my thing But you know what? I'm really coming to value a whole lot more than cars is I want a wife Right, you know, I want kids You know and it's like I value that more. Yeah, and and when I when I, I value that more. And when I say I value that, I didn't go to Disney World. I haven't been to Disney World yet because growing up, my family couldn't afford it. You've been to Disneyland up here in LA? I haven't been to Disneyland.

And I've been to Six Flags. But we couldn't afford. The stepchild of Disneyland. Exactly. We couldn't afford the family trips, the spring breaks. And it's like, man, when I think about it now, I'm trying to steward and maximize my single season

so that way when I do have a wife, when I do have kids, I can say yes to my wife because I steward this season well. And it's like one of the things I'm really teaching myself is as a young man dating right when it comes to my money is I would rather tell my girlfriends no today so I can tell my wife yes tomorrow. Oh, let's go. You know what I'm saying? It's like I don't have a problem telling them, hey, I'm not going to spend $100 on a date on you right now, you know, because you may not be my wife.

But I refuse to tell my wife no because I told all of them yes and as I'm maturing and as I'm growing I'm realizing that the caliber of my financial future and the caliber of my future family's future is depending upon the choices that I made today right and so I have to be willing and be strong at my core to say no to things that will set me up for my future and then I want my wife to be willing and be strong at my core to say no to things that will set me up for my future. And I want my wife to be like, thank you for telling them no.

I want my kids, because I remember my mom and dad, unfortunately, I have great parents, but I remember wearing shoes that had holes at the bottom of it and we had to put tape on the bottom of it. I don't want that to be my kids. And the decisions that I made today impacts that. You know, I want to be able to take my kids to Disney World. That's the only reason why I haven't been. I've dated ladies with kids.

Let's go to Disney World. Nope. Why not? I want to go there with my wife and my kids. I don't want to go there with my girlfriend and her kids. I want to go there with my wife and my kids. You know, I want to be able to do things with my family that my family couldn't do when i was growing up it's cool and so i'm learning to i'm valuing that more i get

that wakes me up every day that gets me excited every day that gets me on my youtube channel every single day because i'm working for them then I'm also working for the community. That's cool. What's the third thing that parents should be doing more? The last one we talked about, like don't tell them the only way to be successful is having a 700, 800 credit score. Got it, got it. Which goes into one thing that they're not doing enough is really having the money conversation with them

early on as possible. You know, I think that parents, as soon as they say mama, as soon as they say daddy, you need to start having a money conversation. Really? Absolutely. At two? Absolutely. What are those conversations they should be having?

It's on their level. You know what I mean? If the kid is saying, hey, mom, can I get a piece of candy? Well, they understand that candy. Tell them, hey, it costs money. And show them, hey, you got to give this in exchange for that. But let's let's let's you know pass that level let's start having a conversation with middle

schoolers one of my good friends has a private school in Nashville I went to read books with them last a couple of months ago again right when I walk into their school she has a picture of all of her kids on college campuses these are middle school kids it's cool fifth grade and i said what are you what are you doing she's like actually if you look on this one um those are our third graders and i was like you're taking them to college they don't do they even understand what they're looking at she says no but young people are impressionable at a very young age. So they will remember like, hey, I want to go here. So I need to work hard right now.

And so it was like we we have to stop saying our young people are young. If they can remember songs, if they can remember famous dances from TikTok, they can remember the conversation around money. So we got to have that conversation as early as possible so that when they get into high school, they are already aware of what's going on with the finances. What do people in their 20s and 30s have to deal with if they don't have those conversations in their middle school, teenage years? That was me. We're going to have to deal with the lack of a lot of information that's important. The lack of understanding. What I did at 18 and 19, I'm still paying for today at 37 years old.

Really? Still? Absolutely. What things? I have collection items on my credit report. Every time I bought two homes over you know over the last three years I had to explain that and I'm the money guy, right, you know, it's like Anthony. Whoa, wait Well, this is question what what we see is from X amount of years ago, right? Because we don't have the conversation everyone thinks well, it'll be off in seven years

Well, here's the thing when it comes to money It'll be all the same example you own that particular collection item and let's say you sell it to me. Now I can put it back on their credit report for another seven years. So just because it was a 15 year old situation that I had, if it got sold to another company, collection agency, it restarts the whole process over again. So I still have some items on my credit report from when I was 20 years old. And that's embarrassing when I go in there because no one sat down with me and had the true conversation around what is a credit card? What is interest? What's the difference between a credit card and a debit card? No one sat down and had that conversation with me. My mama told me,

you don't need a credit card. She just said, don't't do it she didn't explain to me why not no one sat down and had the hard conversation and give me the education so without that education I made poor decisions right I want a credit card is so easy to open up and everyone's selling them to you and hey get this you get a couple hundred dollars free when you open it up easy everywhere you go it's about credit card you can't go into the mall without being offered a credit card when you're checking out? Easy. Everywhere you go, it's about credit card. You can't go into the mall without being offered a credit card when you're checking out. You can't even go

into Walmart anymore these days. You know, everything's about credit. And again, I'm not knocking people who go down that route. I don't do that route.

I actually enjoy the freedom of waking up every single month and having the freedom of saying, you know what, I don't owe anybody. I just owe my mortgage.

Yeah. I love getting into my car and I have no car note. I love going to the mailbox and excited to go to my mailbox because there may be a check in there. No, no bills. You know, I don't know about you, but I remember every time my cell phone rang, if I didn't recognize the number, I didn't pick it up because those were collection agencies calling me. It feels good when my phone rings. I can. Hello. What's up? I'm proud to answer it. And so if we don't give people that proper information, 20-year-olds now tend to build this negative relationship with money and they're not really building wealth. And think about it. If we can

start having this education now, we should be seeing more 20-year-olds being successful. Millionaires are being made now. If you're dropping the course, or if you're sitting at home and you're playing video games, people are actually making millions online right now. But if we have the conversation with them now, we can see a lot more younger people really producing income. What else is keeping most people broke? Is it a mindset?

Is it the habits and the actions? Is it the environment, the people they spend time with? Is it? Yeah, yeah. For me, it's a network. You know, it the environment, the people they spend time with? Yeah, yeah, yeah. For me, it's a network. You know, I have this, it's not my rule. It's a philosophy that I go by. 33%, 33%, 33%.

The first 33% of people who are talking into you. So I think a lot of people, especially young people, are not really building wealth because they don't have the right people talking into their lives. Saying, hey, here's what you need to be doing. Here's what you should be reading. Here's what you should be investing into. And so if you don't have the right people talking into their lives saying, Hey, here's what you need to be doing. Here's what you should be reading. Here's what you should be investing into. And so if you don't have the right people talking into your life from wisdom, like I've called you from wisdom on a lot

of different things. We're the same age, but you're wiser than me in certain areas. So, Hey, Lewis, what do you think about this? So they don't have the right people talking into them. Then the next one is who are they doing life with? So if you're dating someone that is all about, hey, I want to go here, I want to do this, and I don't care if we have the money, let's finance it. And if you have friends in your circle that are saying, hey, let's go on this trip for spring break, let's just take our student loan refund check and put it on there, then that keeps them in a certain bracket. And then they're not really depositing anything into anyone. So for me, when it comes to the lack of building wealth, who are you around? So the people that are depositing into you,

the people kind of in your same sphere of influence, what decisions are you making together? Yep. And then are you depositing into someone else? Are you? And if you're not, here's the thing. We're just reduplicating it. If you don't have someone depositing into you, if you don and and if you're not here's the thing we're just reduplicating it if you don't have someone depositing into you if you don't have someone you're doing life with on a healthy way you can't deposit something positive into them so you have nothing to give exactly you have nothing to teach nothing to give you're teaching them you just teach them the wrong things you know while i was with dave uh for a while every major money thing that i decided i

asked him. Before I purchased my first home, Dave, what do you think about this? Before I purchased my first big car, Dave, what do you think about this? And Dave would give me some wisdom. Dave would give me some insight. Dave is much wiser than me when it comes to money. I desire to be married. So I'm going to a married, wise couple.

St. Anthony, there's some of the things you need to be working on now and like for an example my couple that I submit myself to from for wise counsel for marriage they told me this and I'll say it on your show uh they said I'm selfish why they said um I'm selfish with my time you know because I work so hard so when I come home I don't want to be on the phone I don't want to spend time with her because I just want to rest. And they were like, no wife is going to want to be with a man who doesn't want to spend time with her. Right. And I was like, I'm selfish. And I didn't realize that.

One of the main reasons why my relationships didn't work in the past was because I was only thinking about Anthony. I liked her. I loved her. But I wasn't thinking about her because I was only thinking about this is what I needed. And so I have wise counsel to call me out on my stuff. You know, I have wise counsel to say, you know what? That's not healthy. You're a good man, but here's some of your flaws. And so I think it's very important for all of us to have a group of people that can talk into us from different areas, whether it's your money life, your relationship life, your business life, entrepreneurship life, career life, spiritual life, you name it. Whatever you value, whatever is important to you, you need to have someone wiser than you

speaking into that. And you need to listen to them. Don't tell them what they shouldn't be telling you. Listen to them. Yeah. Listen to them. It's a hard thing. Yeah. It's really hard because no one wants, no one likes to be told what to do. It sounds like Dave gave you a lot of the financial wisdom, you know, for many years.

What would you say were the three biggest lessons around money he taught you directly like that, that you implemented in your financial life? I think it's the same thing he's teaching everyone within his message number one avoid debt number two uh live below your means and number three you know really create margin you know um and that was something especially number three you build wealth by creating margin what does that mean for people uh it goes back to just living below your means so if you're making making $10,000 a year, okay, not a year, let's say you're making $10,000 a month for an example, you should be living off like $7,000, $6,000, $7,000.

And that margin is what you're investing into. That margin is what you are looking to build wealth off of. I think in today's day and time, we're seeing about nearly 70, 72, 80% of people living paycheck to paycheck. I was there. They're not living below their means. They're spending. Every dollar. Every dollar, as opposed to saying, you know what?

I want to do this trip, but I'm not going to have any left over if I keep doing all these trips. I want to keep going out because I like going out and having dinner. Yeah. But that's an extra $100 every meal, as opposed to eating $15 worth of my groceries for this night. I want to buy the new shoes, I want to spend on this, but then if you're living month to month,

you don't have the margin to invest. What should we be investing in once we have the margin? I mean, once you have the margin, I think before you do any investing, you should be eliminating your debt. First. First. And then once you eliminate your debt, you need to go ahead and get a fully funded emergency fund But I think people really don't understand it's the debt part that really prevents you from building

You can't build wealth with your living in debt constantly. You can't you know, it's like a lot of people say well I'm gonna use other people's money. Well, wait, that makes no sense to me You're gonna use other people's money to build wealth, but it's their wealth because they own it Right. So for me, it's- And what if you lose that money, you're in more debt. Exactly. So for me, it's all about eliminating the debt. I don't want to pass down debt to my kids. They say that the average person is going to die with bills and with benefits, and the benefits are only enough to take care of the bills, you're not leaving it with any land, with no real estate, with no

wealth to pass down. So for me, I'm eliminating the debt so that way I can really start building true wealth. I want to move forward, not worrying about my past catching up with me. And that's very, very important to me. And so when it comes to, when you create that margin with wealth, man, you got to maximize on your 401ks. You got to maximize on your Roth IRAs. You got to maximize on maybe some real estate. One of my mentors told me something so good that I'm starting to get into now. He said, we have no more capability of making land. We can build a lot of houses. We may can't go wide, but we can go tall. But we cannot make any more land.

Buy land, Anthony. And I was like, buy land. He was like, yeah, get some land and sit on it. Don't wait to get the land. Get the land and then wait. And pass that down to your kids and your kids' kids. And I was like, okay. So I've

been doing that where you can buy land I bought some land in my home my home city Columbia South Carolina where I was born and then with me moving again late here soon I'm gonna look at some land out there as well but I went back home not to purchase some land really I know eventually yeah that's what my family is and so that's where the roots are for myself so definitely awesome land bought some land there because out there you could buy it for dirt cheap. Right, right, right. So I'm going to sit on it. Right. You know, and then down the road, somebody's going to build on it. And they're going to cut my kids some a lot of money.

What else do you think people should be doing in their 20s and 30s to build wealth? When it comes to building wealth, once you look at your network, how are you building your number one business? You know, and I tell this to everyone, mind your business. How so? Because your mind is a business. So if you mind your business,

your mind is a business. How are you growing your number one business? Your mind. Exactly. You know, what podcasts are you listening to? What books are you growing your number one business your mind exactly you know what podcast are you listening to what books are you reading are you watching less TV or art what are you putting into here because what we put into here comes out mmm and so wealth building is really not just about the physical things as far as

a money but it's like what are you learning what are you putting inside of your mind that can then produce true wealth and keep wealth? What wisdom and knowledge are you obtaining so that way when you do make the moves, you can also sustain it? And so you'll learn that about me. It's like everything about wealth building has little to do with actual green, with actual paper.

It's about your core, it's about your mindset, it's about your network. Who are you surrounding yourself with? How are you all minding your business, growing your asset, your number one asset, which is your mind? Then from there, we can talk about it. You know, how do we, number one, avoid debt? It goes back to, you know, Dave Ramsey's baby steps. Avoid debt. Get a fully funded emergency fund. Start investing. Start thinking about your kids, you know, and then from there. Oh, man, life is life is gravy. You can really enjoy and do anything that you want. Whether that's some people are doing it with cryptocurrency, some people are doing it with day trading.

That's fine. Whatever is good for you. And I don't do single stocks. I'm not a fan of single stocks. I'm just a fan of real estates, some good growth stock mutual funds, and just really focusing on building my business. Right. What would you say are the habits wealthy people do that broke people don't do? Oh, man, that's a good one. When I think of all the wealthy people in my circle, habits is they have a daily routine. And when I say a daily routine, they have a Monday through Friday routine. They work out.

They read. One of the things that I've learned over the last few years is when I wake up in the morning, I do personal devo every single morning after that after I read a devo I actually read and study within my particular field so anything around money anything around relationships I'm studying in that okay and then from there I go to the gym I see a lot of wealthy people are very active and they take care of their body. Mm-hmm From there. Oh, there's another one man. They value family They really value the presence of a family. Why is that?

Because I think they understand you can sit here and make all this money, but who are you making it for? Who are you impacting? Why are you impacting the world when your home is all jacked up? And so what I've learned from wealthy people is I wanna make sure my home is taken care of before I take care of the world. And now again, that's not all wealthy people. That's just the wealthy people that's in my circle.

They make sure that the wife, the husband, the kids, they are good that they're in a healthy place before they go serve the world with their particular business right and i love that i mean i was with one wealthy guy just the other day he probably does about 100 million dollars a year and um he gave me an hour of his time for lunch he got a text message from his wife. He ended it 10 minutes early because his wife said, hey, I can't pick up the kids. He was like, I get it.

It's no problem. Hey, I gotta go. And I was like, wow. I was really looking forward to that last 10 minutes. And he was like, sorry, man. You know, wife can't get the kids. I need to go get them, man. You'll learn that one day.

Right. You made the priority. You understand it. Yeah. You know, your family needs to be priority. And I believe when you can be a good steward of the little of your family, then you can be trusted with more. You can be trusted with 100 employees.

You can be trusted with impacting the community. But if you can't take care of home, you can't be trusted with more. And that's one thing. I got a little dog, man. So it was like for me, I take good care of her. I take good care of me. I take care of my home. So that way, you know, I can get the wife,

I can get the kids and I can start practicing taking care of home first. Yes. And then serving people on the outside. Because I grew up seeing pastors and seeing different people focus on the churches and focus on communities and coming home to a jacked up home. And so I'm seeing wealthy people now they've created a healthy habit to where now they're focused on family and families now are building

wealth. Husband and wives are working together. Now kids want to work in the family business because now pops and mom took care of home. another habit that I'm seeing here that wealthy people doing is they know where their money is going they have a vision for their money so it's not just a budget but they have a clear vision of okay this is where we want to go and what I've learned is that no one do they have the clear vision but they make sure everyone that is connected with them, whether they are dating, whether they are married, whether they have kids, that everyone is aligned with that vision. So, OK, if our goal is to make one hundred million dollars. Cool. Great. They have the vision. Here is our goal that get us to this goal. So they have a clear vision followed by clear goals, followed by clear daily habits that gets them to the ultimate vision. Yeah. And I'm I'm sitting there amazed. One day I sat in a room and just really watched him put his vision up on the wall and just really backtracked it to today.

His vision was five years down the road. He updates his vision every three months. today. His vision was five years down the road. He updates his vision every three months and he holds himself accountable, him and his team hold himself accountable to, okay, are we getting closer? Are we making the right decisions? Are we making the right moves to get there? And that's very, very important. And that's something that I'm putting in place now myself. That's cool. The money vision and everyone's aligned with the money vision. Absolutely. That's great, man. And when you go back to it. Here's my thing with vision. When you have a clear vision, it's going to that's your way of saying yes or no.

So it's like if someone comes to you and says, hey, I want to do this. Your vision says yes or no. Not you. If I meet a young lady and she says hey I want to do XYZ okay cool does that get me closer to my vision or does that take me away from my vision yes CSNO if my vision is I want to do this next five years I'm going to apply for a job and that job is saying hey you got to do this cool great this is a line with my personal vision and I think 20s and 30 year olds need to learn how to write a vision for their life. That's cool. Because if they have a clear vision for their life, it helps them stay focused and move forward. And it gives them an easy, hey, you're

a great person or this is a great opportunity. It's just not my opportunity. You're a great person. You're just not a good fit for where I want to go you're not aligned with where i'm going so you got to have a vision what's the best way to write a vision and come up with a vision and that's something that i'm actually working out now i'm coming out with this next february and the very first thing is you really got to sit down and just ask yourself a lot of questions what are you passionate about what do you think your purpose is and then it's like when you think what are you passionate about what do you think your purpose is and then it's like when you think what are you passionate about what do you think your purpose is you know where where do you see yourself going you know my vision is to help millennials and minorities avoid debt and build

wealth i had to ask myself why it's because i was a millennial and a minority broke disgusted living paycheck to paycheck. So when I started asking myself those questions, I really got down to my deep why. And one of my mentors, Dr. Darius Daniels said, if your why doesn't make you cry, then the price of commitment will make you cry. And so when you really wanna understand your vision,

you really have to ask yourself, okay, where are you going and then why do you want to go there? And when you ask yourself that at least five times, you're going to really be able to develop a clear vision of I want to do this. I want to do that. I want to do this by this date because of these particular reasons. And it's very important. Yeah. Very important to have that. Right. Do you think anyone can be a millionaire? And the reason I ask that is because there's a lot

of people that I see, specifically in LA, who are working minimum wage. Minimum wage is, I think, $15 or $16, $17 an hour here in LA. It's actually pretty high, but compared to the rest of the USA, I think. I remember when it was $6.

I mean, it was $5.56 when I was growing up in Ohio. But with people who are overworked, overwhelmed, only making minimum wage, and maybe made poor choices before that they're paying off debts, they've got family situations, challenges. Do you think it's possible for any of them at some point to become a millionaire?

I think anything is possible. Right. I don't think a lot of people have the mindset to become a millionaire. But I think anything is possible. Right. I think all things are actually possible. What's the mindset people need to develop in order to become a millionaire?

They have to get over the past. I think a lot of people have made some decisions in the past. Some people are still hurt by history. Some people are stuck in what they've only been exposed to. And so I think there's two things to shift the mindset. One, shift your exposure. You got to step outside of your comfort zone and say, you know what? Hey, I'm tired of making 16 bucks.

Let me go over here and try this. Let me just go over here and just ask this one question. I think going back to one of your questions earlier and with this question as well, some people are so comfortable that they don't understand that they are preventing themselves from becoming a millionaire. They are preventing themselves from starting that business because nothing extraordinary happens within our comfort zone. You have to step outside of your comfort zone and step into your uncomfort zone so now you can start exposing yourself to something that may stretch you. This may challenge you in some areas. You may fail a couple of times when you step outside of your comfort zone.

But you know what? Every time you fail, you'll learn what you need to do differently. And so I think everyone can be a millionaire. But it goes back to, one, do they have the mindset? And are they willing to be uncomfortable for a season? Maybe lots of seasons. Absolutely. Might be consistently. Because, I mean, you know, you've been in this by uncomfortable for a season? Maybe lots of seasons. Absolutely. Might be consistently.

Because, I mean, you know, you've been in this by yourself for a long time. Yeah, you hit a good high and then, boom, something can happen, you know. And I know that for a fact from myself. I'm like, man, I was just doing good two months ago. Where did this come from? Right. But you can't run it. You got to stay right there.

You got to learn in that season because what I love about a storm, every time a storm comes, the rainbow is next. The grass is green. I just got a lot of water. So something's going to flourish from this season. Maybe it flooded for a minute. Exactly. So it's like if I'm going to take this heat, something positive has to come from it. And so I think a lot of people should be millionaires. A lot of people should be business owners, but they're comfortable with their nine to five job. What's it take?

How long does it typically take for someone when they start working to become a millionaire? How many years is kind of like the average millionaire? And maybe you don't have the information. Yeah, I don't know that off the top of my head. is it a decade is it two decades is it three decades is it kind of how long does it take typically typically yeah not the extreme cases where it's like okay i launched the business then sold it for a billion five years later but the average millionaire yeah how long do you think it takes and we're saying the average millionaire who may be a school teacher and just paid off their debt and started investing are we talking about someone who started the business and we're saying the average millionaire who may be a school teacher and just paid off their debt and started investing are we talking about someone who started the business and they're

just making good money both because i think the average millionaire in america once they really start the process can really hit that within a matter of 10 to 12 years eliminating their debt once they eliminate debt yeah invest yeah yeah so after they eliminate the debt and really start really really growing. For an example, if you invest into a good growth stock mutual fund, one hundred or twenty dollars a month, you can do that within 30 years just from investing into that at that rate. But again, if you're investing properly, 15 percent of your income, if you are living way below your means, if you're not racking up things, you can cut that stuff in half and be there a lot quicker i really think it all depends on that individual and how bad do they want it right and if you want it that bad the vision absolutely yeah if you're focused on hey this is my vision this is where i'm going and you're only allowing people in your circle who are aligned who will hold you accountable

to that man you could be a millionaire within the next two three years depending on what you want to do right but if you are saying hey you know what yeah i want to be a millionaire if you're not determined yeah it could take you 30 40 50 years i think you got to understand why you want that why is why they're meaningful to for you to have that and not and sacrifice out on going out to dinners and sacrifice on the trips and never enjoying life you know with with some fun or with some spending here and there like you got to ask yourself is this worth it you know investing 10 years cutting out pretty much all these things that i would pay for and just doing free activities yes but you still have a great life with yeah you know but are your social circles got to be in a similar mindset as you? You're not going to

be able to go to the movies and this and that all the time and buying all the new clothes. So you just got to be prepared for that and be aware of that. If you don't have a why, you won't be a millionaire. If you don't know why you're really doing it, if you don't know why you're saying no, if you don't know why you're saying yes, you won't build true wealth you can be rich yeah you can be rich today and broke tomorrow but if you don't really understand why you're going after it if your why doesn't make you cry you will not be wealthy and wealth to me is long lasting riches i have a lot today and i want wealth to where my kids kids kids will know my name even though they didn't meet me. And for me, that's very, very important.

What needs to happen for that to happen? I need to pass down not just money. I need to pass down wisdom and knowledge. I was watching this movie with Steve Harvey. It wasn't a movie. It was an interview. Or was it Steve Harvey? I don't know who it was. But it was somebody. I, it was an interview. Or was it Steve Harvey? I don't know who it was, but it was somebody.

I thought it was Steve Harvey. In the back of my head, I was like, that's not Steve Harvey. But somebody was saying, hey, do you know your great-great-grandfather's name? And he was like, no. And she said, do you know why? And he said, no. And she said, because he didn't leave you anything. And I remember hearing that when I was laying down in the bed and I stood up, Lewis, and I was like, I don't know my great-great-grandfather's name.

No. I never met. I don't know my great-grandfather's name. That's what I'm saying. I never met my great-grandfather's. And I'm like, wow, but if they would have left me something. I'd be like, dang, thank you. Grateful, you know what I'm saying? So it was like now on my drawing board in my office,

it's me, I have stick figures of me and my kids and my family and then their kids and then their kids and their kids. And right next to it I says they will know my name dang that's pretty powerful give me chills because it's like I'm gonna leave them not just with money I'm gonna equip my kids with money but also with the wealth and in knowledge to sustain it and to take it further and then I'm gonna educate them to hey listen you only leave your kids with money but also

with the wealth and knowledge to grow that and then you're gonna leave your kids and then boom the wealth and the knowledge i think oftentimes we focus so much on let's just leave our kids with a lot of money and then not teach them and not teach them nothing what's the point of giving them money if they don't have the wisdom and the knowledge what's the point of giving that if you haven't steward the time with your kids to educate them on hey hey, son, hey, daughter, here's how mom and dad built it. Here's how we sustained it. Here's how you're going to build it. Here's how you can sustain it. And that's so, so, so important to me because that's my why. That's why I get up every single day. It's not because of the nice car that I have. It's not because I had the opportunity to come on a Lewis

Howe show and just like, yeah, talk to everyone. No, I'm doing everything I'm doing today for my great, great grandkids who I probably would never meet, but they will be able to say, you know what? Man, my great, great grandfather, Anthony, impacted a lot of people.

Hey mom, dad, did your mom and dad talk to you about Anthony? Right? Like, wow, can we go back and look at that video that he did with lewis 20 30 40 50 60 years ago like wow that that gets me out of my bed that gets me going to the gym that makes me steward my single season correctly because i haven't been a good steward of my single season i haven't maximized my single season correctly. Because I haven't been a good steward of my single season. I haven't maximized my single season all the time. That's why I'm focused now on maximizing my single season so that way I can make the right

decisions that impacts generations to come. And I think that's, to me, what wealth is. Wealth is how deep can I go with my wealth, money-wise, with my knowledge and wisdom. Talking about the stick figures with the partner and the kids and the kids' kids. How important is choosing the right partner in making money, keeping money, investing money, building money? That's the second most important decision of my life choosing the right person

the first one is that's just my spiritual walk just you know being a Christian I think that was the first part the first and most important part the second most is choosing the right partner

yep and choosing the right wife you want me to be real I'm showing how you're emotional I had the right wife you Yep, and choosing the right wife. You want me to be real? I'm trying not to get emotional. I had the right wife. You did? I let her go. Why?

Because I was young. I was dumb. Ooh. I was immature. Dang. I was selfish. And I didn't, I thought I wanted something else.

Mm. But I let it go. And so now it's like, okay, let's fix it because, you know, hey, you don't want to pass up on that again. I believe that the quality of my future is depending upon the quality of my life. And I had that there. But because of the immaturity, because of the looking at what everyone else had around me, I let someone go who could have been my wife. And I learned from that.

who could have been my wife and um i learned from that yeah you know it was a it was a hard season for me because i had to i had one of the things i've learned that wealthy people do very well is they confess when they're wrong and they tell themselves so you messed up how do we make sure we do not make this decision again right that's when i say you know what let me submit myself to a married couple to get wisdom you know what let Let me submit myself to a married couple to get wisdom You know what? Let me just talk more to my therapist about this area so I can make sure that the next time I have the opportunity to Meet an amazing woman that I do not pass up on that again and so

My partner is the second most decision because this is the woman that will be raising my daughter. This is the woman that will be raising my son. This is the woman that together we're going to build an empire. I need a partner that we are aligned, in sync, and we have each other's back. What would be the three questions you would ask about money before you would move forward on a commitment of dating? Maybe you're dating for a few dates, but. I wouldn't even go, I'm not even getting into a committed relationship with a woman

until we have a money conversation. And what should that conversation consist of? The very first question I'm asking her is, what was the conversation you had about money growing up? What did your parents teach you about money? And then two, for me, what's your thoughts around ownership? What's your thoughts around debt?

And then three, it's a fun one, but it answers a lot of questions it's going to answer a lot you have a million dollars right now what are you doing with it yep what are you doing with it and and a bonus one that i i really really really i really have this conversation on both sides what what do you value most in life yes like what what's what's valuable to you that money cannot buy and um it just starts the conversation going and i think really understanding the root of the individual really sets you up to understand okay how they're going to be thinking proceeding forward.

Now, someone gives you, let's say they give you all the wrong answers, right? And you're just like, ee, that was the opposite of what I was hoping you'd say. Does it mean they can't change their mindset around this? Or is it kind of, you've been set in this way for 20, 30 years. Right.

It's going to take, it might take some time to unlearn these things. I don't think there's a wrong answer because I think how we were raised, I mean, we can't help how we were raised. My next question would be like, hey, are you willing to have have a conversation around these things? Are you willing to learn something differently? You know, what's so funny is everyone knows that I'm the no debt guy, no credit card guy. And I've dated ladies who had credit cards. And their first question is, well, are you willing to learn?

I say, yeah, if you can prove to me that I need a credit card, I'm going to tell you right now, I rock with you. But no one can prove to me that I need credit, that I need debt. And so I'm willing to have the conversation on both sides and so I I'm always asking like hey are you willing to have the conversation but I'll be honest Louis I haven't met too many ladies who are like like oh no I have to have credit I have to have you know other people's money I have to use it they most ladies they just want to know that they have a man that they're dating a man that if they were to settle down with, can be the provider of the home. And that's cool.

I mean, that's cool. But I don't think there's a wrong answer. I just want to know your mindset around money. And then if your mindset is a little different than mine's, I'm not done with you. I'm going to continue the conversation. But we're just going to see like, hey, can we adjust? Sure. And here's the thing, too.

Are you adjusting just so we can date? Are you adjusting? Because this is something that you really want for yourself. And that's the only way to work. You're going to want to have to have this lifestyle just as much as myself. Right. And I'm very big on ownership. Yeah. Um, respectfully saying, people who look like me, we don't own a lot. And I want to have an African American black family that owns everything. And that's important for me.

What should someone do if they're considering dating someone who's in debt? If they're like, man, I just love this person so much, but they got $130,000 of debt and they made some poor decisions. But, man, the connection is so strong. The chemistry is there. Like, I'd be crazy not to explore this further. But, man, I got to deal with all this debt.

I mean, I think there's nothing wrong with dating an individual with debt. You got to go back to, hey, are they comfortable with this debt i mean i i think there's nothing there's nothing wrong with dating an individual with debt you got to go back to hey are they comfortable with this debt or are they aggressively attacking this debt and if you find someone that's comfortable in this debt you need to understand why are they comfortable if they're like i'm taking action i'm getting out of this i made some poor decisions if that's a different you're like okay you're on the right track i can rock with you on that you know i can with you. In the moment we say I do, oh, now my bank account is going to be your

bank account and we can just cut the check and now we are debt free. So I believe that once we get married, if you have debt, I'm no longer debt free. Wow. So it's like, hey, babe, we are together. We came together as one. Let's go to now our checking account and let's cut a check to get us out of debt while we are dating. You're still in

debt. And I just want to see, okay, are you aggressively or do you have a game plan for this debt? Are you maximizing this single season of yours or are you buying the wigs? Are you buying the clothes, the purses? Or are you taking this opportunity to spend as much money as you possibly can while you're single? Because I think in relationships, what we do is we don't maximize the single season correctly. What we do is we have a good time. We're traveling, we're balling out, we're doing this, we're doing that, but we're not actually utilizing all of our resources to bring less baggage to the table and I think for me it's like I'm asking myself okay Anthony what baggage can you eliminate now while you're single so when you get to the table you

come with more assets you come with more wisdom you come with more knowledge more experience more peace more joy and less baggage and less pain. And so I want to see is she maximizing and stewarding the single season correctly? Is she taking advantage of no responsibility, no kids if she doesn't have kids, no major bills, just her debt? So if she's making seventy five, fifty thousand dollars a year. debt. So if she's making 75, $50,000 a year, okay. Is she putting 10 of that towards 20 of that towards paying off her debt? Or is she taking that 10,000 and buying a latest Chanel purse? Is she taking that 10,000 going to Hawaii with her girlfriends? Is she taking that 10,000 going out to the latest and greatest concerts? Or is she saying, you know what? Hey, I'm going to enjoy

life a little bit, but I'm really focused over here. And that's that's what I want to see. And that's just not from her. But that's even for men as well. Ladies like look at whoever you tend to date. Make sure that they're maximizing their single season. And it's not just money. What are they watching? Do they watch Lewis? Do they watch Anthony O'Neal? Do they watch other people in park? Are they watch Lewis? Do they watch Anthony O'Neill? Do they watch other people in pocket? Are they learning something? Who are they surrounding themselves with? You know, are they always around friends who are just doing dumb stuff or are they around friends and they're all, they're reading together. They're stretching each other. They're starting businesses together. How are they maximizing and stewarding that single season? How are they growing this?

and stewarding that single season, how are they growing this? And if they do that, I'm fine. If she comes to me and she got $200,000 in debt, Louis, but I see that she's working hard, that's my wife. And I got her back. Have you seen scenarios where women make a lot more than the men they're with? Absolutely.

And they're just as happy? Absolutely. As if the just as happy. Absolutely. As if the man was making more. I mean, I've seen a scenario where the woman is making a lot more money than the man. And they are happy. And I think it's only because that man is still providing. He is still working. He's not a lazy man.

He's not sitting at home. He's not, you know not working an 8 to 5 job and coming home and playing the Xbox or the PlayStation. The man is out here really trying to build something that is great for him and his family. Honestly, he's producing. You see the

fruit of his labor. You don't just see the potential of him, but you see him actually producing something. Those ladies, I believe, are happy. You know, but I think we run into the problem where these ladies are out here busting their butts and these guys are just out here lazy. Right. That's where it doesn't work. It can't work. I mean, it won't work because a man can't be respected if he's not working hard. a man can't be respected if he's not working hard.

He can't be. And I don't think there's nothing wrong with the woman making more money than, than the man or the man maker is what's our vision and where are we going? Prime example is my brother-in-law. When I first met my brother-in-law, I know he's going to be watching this. I love you, man.

You know, my, he quit his job to stay at home with my little, my firstborn nephew, Theo. And my sister was a schoolteacher. So she was the breadwinner for a while. And I was like, what in the world? This is not normal.

And what I noticed about them two was they were aligned on the vision. Now today, he's built a huge business. And now my sister is at home with him building a business, taking care of their family. So it doesn't really matter what works for you and your family, as long as you all have a vision, as long as you are aligned going there. And the man is producing and providing. And adding value. Exactly.

And when I say providing, he may not be the breadwinner, but like what you said, he's bringing value and substance to the table. Why is it that a man cannot be respected unless he's working hard? I don't know. That's a good question for the ladies. But I mean, I think, man, I mean, we're made to work. I don't know if I could respect one of my brothers who are lazy mm-hmm because like you're a man step up to the plate and get the job done you know I'm

tired of seeing our ladies going out here when you look at it ladies are the number one rising entrepreneur it really go down to is a minority lady right these are ladies who are single who have, who have an eight to five job and starting a business. So our single ladies can do all that. And men can't do that. Right, come on, step up, yeah. Nah. Do you think men respect women who don't work?

Can women be respected if they're not contributing financially in this modern era? Yeah, I know I could. would be respected if they're not contributing financially in this modern era. Yeah. I know. I could. Yeah. I mean, I kind of want my wife to want to stay at home, to be honest. Why is that?

I value family. You know, I want, I remember growing up and my mom working three jobs, my dad working, you know, long hours and mom and dad not around. I remember those hours. I'm not saying that my wife has to do that, but what I am saying is I just wanna make sure that my kids see their parents, that we are present inside of their lives. And that's important to me.

But if she says, hey, you know what? I really enjoy doing what I do for a career, cool, great. Let's figure out how do we still make sure the value of our home is still there that we this is our priority raising our kids growing a healthy group of kids is still priority yeah but I could absolutely respect a woman who doesn't work if a couple or a married couple does not create a money vision what happens to the relationship it's going to fumble absolutely the relationship well absolutely the number one cause for divorce is not because of the lack of money it's because of lack of vision and thought behind money it's

it's it's well we didn't really have a plan we weren't on the same page so she's over here spending this he's over here spending that he He's over here spending that. He just bought this car. She just bought this. And now we come back. It's time to pay bills. We don't have money to pay the bills because we didn't have a vision for the money. You know, it's we're over here spending this. We're getting by. We're living paycheck to paycheck. Now it's time for our kids to go to college. We don't have the funds, but we didn't have a vision. Now the kids are out of college. We're racked up in debt. Now we are tired of renting. Now we want to purchase a home. We get denied for a home because we didn't have a vision for our money. Now retirement comes and we got all this debt from kids college. We bought all these nice things. We're still renting. We don't have any money in retirement. What happened? Well, 20 years ago, you didn't have a vision. 20 years ago you didn't have a vision and so with it where there is no vision that's where people perish you have to have a vision for your life and for your money and the two have to be congruent

they got to work hand in hand if the vision is hey we want to send our kids off to college okay cool how's that in the vision aka the budget for your money we want to build a house cool great how's that in the vision for your money we want want to go off on a vacation. One of my ultimate dreams. I'm getting excited. I'm sorry. One of my ultimate dreams when it comes to me and my wife is when the kids are gone and I retire, I want to go on two vacations, each one of them six months long out of the country. Wow. That's the vision. That's great. I got to write it down. And then I got to put habits and systems in place to get us there. If I don't have that vision, I won't have systems and habits in place to get there.

And if married couples do not do that, they will not win. Let's say there's a man who's made a lot of wealth mm-hmm and he meets a partner that he wants to marry who's making you know 50 to 100 grand a year mm-hmm and he's got millions in the bank mm-hmm what's your thoughts on merging bank accounts, prenuptial agreements, the challenging conversation about, is it my money that I've generated my whole life here? Now it's your money?

Or what should that conversation be like? I mean, if you've accumulated that much wealth, a prenup is probably a good conversation to have. How you have that conversation is not after you're in love. It's not right before or after you propose. That is a conversation that you're having while you're dating. Really? Absolutely.

You need to have that conversation. So you're not sweeping the rug underneath them at the end or something. You don't want to fall in love, and then next thing you know you propose and y'all planning the wedding and then hey bae, here's a prenup. Right. That is not a good move. I do believe wealthy people should have a conversation around prenups and the prenups doesn't,

it could be a good healthy thing. Depending on the state that you're in, it's like, hey, either you're going to get 50-50 or the state's going to decide if there is a divorce. So why not in the very beginning of your relationship have the hard conversation when you're in love, when you both are being very fair? And that may be the last time you have the conversation. That is my prayer. That is my hope. And that may be the last time you have the conversation. That is my prayer. That is my hope. But it's like, hey, inside of that prenup, I would suggest that she go sit down with her lawyer separate from him and saying, hey, what are some things I need to put in place for myself? I am aware of certain couples who actually for every year, the woman actually was with the man. She got X amount of dollars added to that prenuptial agreement because of XYZ he was totally cool with that and then for another couple was the prenup was only good for 10 years and then it was null and void

and so I think a good conversation around prenups in a healthy way is actually good but I would do that while you're dating before you both are emotionally connected with each other say hey this is where i'm at i just want to be honest with you up front before we go down this road because i'm really feeling you and i believe you're really feeling me and i really want this to win but what's your thoughts around prenups and just let her answer that question and you know what some people may be like heck no then you gotta make decision from there. That's information. Exactly. And then some may say, well, I'm not really aware of prenups.

What is it? Then explain to them what the prenup is. And the key thing is have the conversation to where they know, hey, the prenup doesn't just cover me. It also covers you as well. One of my friends just asked me. When you build a business, you start blowing up and you. Yeah, exactly. And one of my friends actually just went through divorce and they had a prenup and this is what she said the prenup actually allowed me to focus

solely on our kids because I already knew what I was getting from the marriage and so she was like I was actually at peace because now I was like alright cool who gets the kids that was a conversation she said she said the divorce was hard but I knew at a moment we said, we're going to get a divorce. Okay, cool. This is what I'm getting. All right. I know I can move here.

It was clarity. Boom. Exactly. You still have to deal with the mess and the heartache and the pain. And opinions about the people and the questions about the people. But at least you know you can leave this relationship peacefully and you know what you're leaving it with. Right. And so I think prenups can be very good. Now, if both of y'all making fifty thousand dollars a year, why are we having this conversation? You know, but if you're a multimillionaire and you have this huge brand and this huge business, you know, that protects your legacy.

Right. You know, and that's an important conversation to have and i think if you have this huge brand this huge wealth that's also going down to stewardship for your kids kids and so prenups i'm all for them you know when it makes sense on on either side yeah it's just how you have the conversation is what's going to be a little difficult so let's say you're both making around the same amount of money and you get married what's your thoughts on how you should manage the money yeah who should manage the money yeah and the conversations around accounts and you know i think that when you get married there is there is no there are no secret accounts it's here's one house account um and then after you have the main account i do believe like hey you and your partner can have like their own little spending account and then you

have your own savings accounts I do believe in that right but when it comes down to like who manages the money who's ever the best person at managing money that's it if that's her she manages the money if is if is you she manages the money if it's your partner that partner manages the money. If it's your partner, that partner manages the money. Whoever is the best person at that, they do it. Now, I think both need to be having a conversation. I think both need to be having the money conversation at the end of every single month. Hey, this is what we did this month. This is where we're going next month.

What are some things we want to do? You need to have a meeting every single month about your money going into the next month and so I'm looking forward to that hey babe what do you want to do what do the kids need what are some things we want to buy next month we need to have a very detailed plan with that now the execution of that budget or of that vision money may be the best person who was honestly better in that area. But everyone should know how much money we have, what are we aiming for, and where are we going.

But you should have it. I'm not a fan, Louis, of, and you're smiling, but I'm not a fan. I'm not a fan of married couples having, okay, I'm going to pay for this. You're going to pay for that. Here's my money out of my account here's you know this no everything should be in one account yeah i was actually coaching a couple the other day because he found out that his wife his new his newlywed wife actually had her own private account so he was giving her money yeah to. They all had their own spending allowance.

Well, she was taking that money and putting it into a separate account that he had no idea of. And so I was like, well, hey, yeah, we shouldn't be hiding from our spouses. We should be very clear up front around what's going on with the money. What are we doing with it? And it's a hard conversation to have. But I know me and my wife will have joint accounts. And I will be able to see what's in her account. with the money, what are we doing with it? And it's a hard conversation to have. But I know me and my wife will have joint accounts. And I will be able to see what's in her account,

she'll be able to see what's in my spending account, but we don't touch the primary account unless we both agree it. Yeah, that's good. What is the thing that's holding you back from the next level of your financial wealth building? That's a good question. You know what?

You know what, that's a good question, Lewis. And not, you got me thinking. Man, you got me really being vulnerable here. I may not be ready for it, Lewis. Ready for what, the next level? Of wealth, yeah. Really? I may, I honestly may not be ready for

that amount of money being a single man why is that i don't know when i really sit back and think about it is i don't know it's what i have right now i'm stewarding well what i have right now, I'm stewarding well. What I have right now is enough for this season. But when I think about that next level for me and wealth, well, that's a lot. And God may be saying to me, I need you to get everything in this season on this level before you get to the next level.

Maximize and steward everything well on this level before you get to the next level. Maximize and steward everything well on this level before you get to the next level. Because new levels just brings new devils. And I may not be ready for that just yet. And I think some people are scared to admit that. What do you think you need to overcome in order to be ready for the next level? I think for me, one, I need a bigger team as far as in smarter people to me that knows how to, when I get to that level, they know how to deal with things on that level. I need a wife from an accountability perspective so that way we're both going towards that

together. Because if I go to it right now, it's just me. I don't have the team in place to sustain that kind of margin I don't have an accountability partner as far as in a wife to sustain that and Yeah, some people may be like wow Anthony, but I think honestly I need I need to get more people Better people around me before I get to that next stage. Interesting. And I think when people think about it, how come I haven't gotten that job promotion yet? Not because you're a bad person.

Maybe you haven't gotten everything you needed to get at that job level before you get to the next season. And I think that's important. What's the emotional thing you need to let go of or overcome? Mental or emotional? Oh, man. So I'm hearing the right people and team and finding those people and investing in those people. What's the mental block? I've never seen it before.

You know, and I think for me, I'm scared of that because no one in my immediate family has it. No one in my immediate family can tell me how to do it. If I get to that level, the people who I trust as far as within my family circle, they can't give me wisdom on that. And I think mentally it's a little fearful that the things I've been able to accomplish today, it's like, it's a little fearful that the things I've been able to accomplish today, it's like, whoa, you're really here, Anthony. You've really just spent seven years, six years of your life traveling around the world with Dave and impacting people. Wow, you really are making this kind of money.

And I've made some bad decisions with my own money because of the fear of like, man, I've never had this before. And I think for me, it's about, all right, I gotta really, really get that out of my head, which is why I'm very big with making sure that I Had the right people around me. Mm-hmm

So that when they see things starting to fall and slip they play yo, hey, yo, hey, yo, and I think that's important I'm the money guy, but I'm still human and I still make mistakes and I think that's important for all people to understand, that even experts make mistakes in their own particular space. And I have no problem admitting the fact that, hey, sometimes I'm tempted. Hey, sometimes I've made some bad decisions with my money, which is why I'm more and more surrounding myself with the right people. I'm more and more surrounding myself with the right people, which goes back to the other question is I had to make sure that my partner is, she understands that as well because this is a huge, huge decision that I'm making. Huge decision.

Huge. That she will be making because now we both are going to this next level. And thank you for that question because I think now I'm going to go back and. And thank you for that question. Because I think now I'm going to go back and talk to my therapist about that. I'm literally sitting here thinking, man, are you ready? And what would it take for you to become

ready? Yeah. Like, am I ready? Am I ready for that next level? I know I'm ready to impact more people. I know I'm ready to impact more people. I know I'm ready to influence more people. But am I ready for the income that that will bring? And it's like,

I'm excited about it. But I'm like, man, are you ready? That's a lot. I think a lot of people, when they're not ready, if they get a lot of money before they're ready, they make poor decisions with it.

But see, here's my thing, though, Lewis. It's not just about the money in my pocket. That income brings more staff members. Those are staff members that my team, that I am responsible for, those are families that I am responsible for, that I have to steward well and make all the right decisions so that way now my decisions doesn't impact is Anthony anymore it impacts all these people and it's like whoa that that's a burden you know that you have to really really care to wait I've talked about this so much in the last couple months on the show that I don't think people understand the weight and the pressure of success or growth or more resources coming your way.

And if you're not prepared for it, it's going to feel like a massive weight. So it's learning how to balance the weights. Absolutely. With all the success and the accolades and the acknowledgement and the audience comes a certain amount of pressure. Absolutely. And I think, it's funny, because I ask a lot of people, like what's your biggest fear?

Is it the fear of failure, the fear of success, or the fear of other people's opinions? And a lot of people say the fear of success is what holds them back from actually going after their thing they want. Yeah. Because of the responsibility of people now wanting more from them that they're, or their family thinking that they're leaving them or

they're too good for them or whatever it is so my biggest fear is me mm-hmm it's my flesh I can make money I just if I can be me if I can tell myself no if I can say hey you're not ready, I'll be all right. But sometimes you'll get in the mirror, you hear people saying, yo, Anthony, you can do it, you can do it, you can do it, but inside you're like, maybe not right now. Not that I can't do it, but maybe right now

I should just move a little bit slower. And I think sometimes- Keep building deeper. Exactly. Foundation. Yeah, and I think sometimes successful people, exactly foundation yeah and I think sometimes successful people we're scared to admit you know what

let me just take just some small steps right now and that's one thing I've been telling myself like hey my team is growing

and it's scary but I'm like okay alright let's just go a little slower I turned down something

that was real real real, real big. And it was big. But I literally told them, I'm not ready for that right now. Somebody would have said yes. They would have got into that season. And I would have fumbled it. And because I fumbled that, now I got to go back. Now it's going to take me even longer to get back there. Because then now it would have been public if I would have failed in that area.

And then now no one will trust me again. So I said, hey, right now I'm just starting off in this season and really shifting over here. Let me wait a little bit. Let me build a foundation first before I bring on something of that magnitude. first before I bring on something of that magnitude and I'll never forget that particular individual and company said that was probably one of the most mature thing that they've ever heard from an influencer school because it was like hey most people say yeah let's do it and then get there fumble a lot make a lot of mistakes and try and make excuses of those mistakes rather than saying hey let's revisit this a year from now and i've made that mistake a lot no in the past and i refuse to do that again

because when i get to that season when i get to that level i want to stay there and i want to do well you don't fall back exactly yeah and i think sometimes you gotta say you know what i'm not ready that's true and i have no problem saying i'm not ready that's good because i think me saying no today is saying yes tomorrow yeah it's great man you've got a lot of great content out there um your youtube's been blowing up your anthony o'Neill over on Instagram and Twitter and YouTube, anthonyoneill.com. You've got a new course, The Singles Blueprint, Eight Pillars to Maximize

Your Single Season, Gain Clarity on Your Life's Vision and Start Building Your Legacy Right Now, which I think if you're single, this is the time to get clarity so you don't just keep dating people

and wasting energy and effort. You really get clear on what you want, why you want it, and then how to get there. They can go to your website and grab that, anthonyoneal.com. And YouTube, if you're doing once a week,

it's been blowing up. But hopefully this year you'll be doing twice a week. Absolutely. You've got a lot of great content over there. People should be subscribing too. What else should we be checking out of yours that you've got out there? That's the thing I'm focusing on this year.

It's going to two shows a week on my YouTube channel, launching this course. It's going to be the first course that has nothing to do with money. It's everything to do about just maximizing our single season. I didn't maximize my 20s. I wasted my 20s. I blew it away. And most wealthy people who I've seen, they've maximized a lot of seasons. So I'm literally walking single people through, hey, here are the eight pillars

you need to be focusing on to make you a better individual. And when you focus on these eight things, you will find your spouse. You will be able to build your wealth. You will be able to accomplish so many things. But let's focus on us. What are the things on the inside of us we need to focus on? So launching that course, focusing on really getting, there's two shows.

I'm trying to get on your level. I can't do four just yet a week, but my team and I said, hey, we're ready to go to two. We've been doing one show and we've been able to grow massively. But our goal is to get the crossover 600,000 subscribers this year. So we know we got to get to two.

And then number three is, man, I'm actually going to take a group of people to Israel. A group of millennials. Just go over to Israel. Learn about money. Learn about, you know, our tradition and heritage over there. So I'm looking forward to that. It's about laying the foundation and just really influencing and impacting a lot of millennials and a lot of minorities.

I love that, man. Love it. This is a question I ask everyone at the end called the three truths. So imagine it is your last day on earth. You've been building your wealth generation. You've got the marriage. You've got the family. You've got the family. You've got the grandkids, all that stuff.

You've accomplished what you want to accomplish, but it's the last day. For whatever reason, you've got to take all of your written audio and video messages with you. So no one has access to your wisdom anymore, even though I know that you're going to pass it on. This is hypothetical. Yeah, yeah, I got you. And you only get to leave behind three lessons that you've learned all the lessons you learned from your life this is all you get to leave behind to your family and to the world what would be those three lessons or i like to call it the three truths here you go to truth number one is um

there's a difference between believing in God and knowing God. Know God. Number two will be the caliber of your future will be determined by the choices you make today. Number three is focus on influencing and impacting people. If you focus on those two things, that equals income. Know God, the caliber of your future will be determined by the choices that you made today.

So make the right and healthy choices as much as possible every single day. Influence plus being impactful equals income. Influence plus impact. Equals income. I love this man. Anthony, I want to acknowledge you for a moment for your journey, for constantly showing up for people,

for getting yourself out of the car and out of debt to start educating yourself on how to teach other people how to do the same thing. I think it's a challenging thing to do and it's a challenging journey to go on, but you've been doing it in a beautiful way. You keep showing up, keep showing up. And I love your honesty about your single season

and figuring these things out and, you know, lost the wife that you thought would have been great for you and now you're rebuilding and you're creating something new for yourself. So I acknowledge you for all of it, man. It's a beautiful journey and I'm excited to see what you create moving forward. My final question, what's your definition of greatness? Greatness.

Definition of greatness is for me, you put everything into your journey, you put everything into what you could, And because of that, you're great. As long as you gave it your all, as long as you gave it your best effort, that's greatness. Thank you so much for listening. I hope you enjoyed today's episode and it inspired you on your journey towards greatness. Make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a full rundown of today's show with all the important links. And also make sure to share this with a friend and subscribe over on Apple Podcasts as well.

I really love hearing feedback from you guys. So share a review over on Apple and let me know what part of this episode resonated with you the most. And if no one's told you lately, I want to remind you that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter. And now it's time to go out there

and do something great.