The School of Greatness - How To Shift Your Money Mindset To Unlock Financial Freedom | Anas Bukhash

Episode Date: April 2, 2025

Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy!I sat down with Anas Bukhash, the biggest talk show host in Dubai and a successful entrepreneur running multiple businesses in the UAE, for a fa...scinating conversation about wealth, culture, and relationships. Having lived in both America and Dubai, Anas offers a unique perspective on how these contrasting societies approach money. He reveals how Dubai's entrepreneurial energy creates genuine wealth-building opportunities that many Americans struggle to find, despite the "American Dream" narrative. Through vulnerable reflections on his early marriage, subsequent divorce, and ten years of singlehood, Anas also shares his evolving journey toward emotional intimacy and the inner work he's doing with his therapist to understand his patterns. His insights on balancing business success with personal growth offer valuable wisdom for anyone seeking to build meaningful prosperity in both their financial and emotional lives.AB Talks - Anas’s talk showAnas on InstagramAnas on YouTubeIn this episode you will learn:How Dubai's entrepreneurial culture creates wealth-building opportunities that differ fundamentally from the American economic landscapeWhy growing up in wealth versus earning it yourself creates different relationships with money and successThe surprising role that daily prayer plays in creating structured pauses for reflection and emotional regulationHow vulnerability and control issues in relationships mirror our approach to business and successThe critical difference between "casual" relationships and true emotional intimacy in creating lasting fulfillmentWhy the strength of family units and support systems play a crucial role in Dubai's rapid developmentHow therapy can help identify unconscious patterns that affect both our business decisions and personal relationshipsWhy parenting styles often condition boys to suppress emotions, creating challenges for emotional expression later in lifeFor more information go to https://www.lewishowes.com/1753For more Greatness text PODCAST to +1 (614) 350-3960More SOG episodes we think you’ll love:Robert Herjavec – greatness.lnk.to/1729SCJillian Turecki  – greatness.lnk.to/1740SCJaspreet Singh – greatness.lnk.to/1644SC Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy!Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX

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Starting point is 00:00:00 I have a brand new book called Make Money Easy. And if you're looking to create more financial freedom in your life, you want abundance in your life, and you want to stop making money hard in your life, but you want to make it easier, you want to make it flow, you want to feel abundant, then make sure to go to makemoneyeasybook.com right now and get yourself a copy. I really think this is going to help you transform your relationship with money this moment moving forward. We have some big guests and content coming up. Make sure you're following and stay tuned to
Starting point is 00:00:36 this episode on the School of Greatness. Thank you so much for being here on the School of Greatness. I want to remind you that you are a blessed human being and if anyone ever tries to discount you I want you to remember that you are worthier than you think. You have more value than you think. You are deserving of love and peace more than you think and sometimes we forget that. I know for most my life. I didn't believe I had worth based on the experiences I went through and based on the meaning that I Interpreted around those events in my life and in fact for many years I thought I was unworthy and unlovable and so I had to prove myself. I had to over accomplish
Starting point is 00:01:24 I had to overcompensate I had to prove myself. I had to over accomplish. I had to overcompensate. I had to You know boost my ego to feel like I mattered and for whatever reason the more I chased accomplishments and success from a place of a wound and the more I ran away from my past pain instead of healing and creating integrating relationship with myself, creating boundaries in life with others, making sure I was going away from people pleasing and living in true alignment service rather than trying to please to try to be accepted or seen. That's when everything shifted.
Starting point is 00:01:59 And I just want to remind you before we jump in today's episode with my friend And I just wanna remind you before we jump in today's episode with my friend Anas, that you are loved and you are worthy beyond measure. It is immeasurable on how worthy and loved you are. But sometimes you just need that constant reminder. And I'm so grateful that you're here, part of the School of Greatness community, because this is a place where you can be
Starting point is 00:02:22 constantly reminded of your worth. You matter, you are loved, you are accepted, but it starts with you and if you're not willing to create that inner harmony and inner abundance within yourself by taking yourself on that journey of healing, peace, and prosperity then you'll always feel stuck. You'll always feel like something's off and like you're never enough. And so this is your reminder. And I just want to say thank you for always showing up for you and being here a part of the School of Greatness.
Starting point is 00:02:56 And if you haven't heard yet, the new book that we launched a week ago, Make Money Easy, Create Financial Freedom and Live a Richer Life, became an instant New York Times bestseller, and I wanna say thank you and acknowledge you for your support in buying the book and getting copies for your friends, and coming out to see me on tour, and all the different things in your support of this journey.
Starting point is 00:03:20 It means a lot to me, and we work really hard here at the School of Greatness to find the best guests, the best content, the best research, and share it with you in ways that can serve your heart, your mind, in a way that helps you today. And if you're struggling today, I hope the book helps you today,
Starting point is 00:03:40 I hope this interview helps you today, and all the content we have here on The School of Greatness helps you every single day. We are here to be of service to you. So please let me know how we can continue to help you. You can always email me, you can email us, you can send me a message on Instagram and connect there. But we're here to serve you, we appreciate you,
Starting point is 00:04:01 and without further ado, let's dive into this episode today. You live in Dubai, a city of wealth and of extreme luxury, but you also grew up in America. So you have a mixture of American values and Dubai culture that you live in and you are surrounded by and have interviewed some of the wealthiest people in the world. And I'm curious, what is the difference that you've learned from Americans and those who live in America who think about money versus business and those who think about money in
Starting point is 00:04:36 Dubai? What is the difference in the mindset? What I think, these are all just perspectives. I don't know how accurate they are, but I feel in the US, it's a bit siloed, like each to their own. Like you don't have this unity in between each other and you're a go-getter and you want to just make as much as you can.
Starting point is 00:04:56 And I don't know, I don't find that cooperative feeling as much, maybe now versus 50 years ago, it's different. And more like single-minded competitive, I'm'm gonna get mine I'm gonna compete against you that type of thing? Probably and then in Dubai specifically because also each place in the region is different in Dubai there's a crazy level of entrepreneurship if you actually if whatever anybody now is watching well, whatever you Google can you believe that the UAE has done all of this in 50 years which is younger than our parents People sometimes criticize the UAE or Dubai and they say ah, it's this or that it's fake or no
Starting point is 00:05:38 No that do you actually realize how many years we've built all of that It's very short. So it's a very entrepreneurial city. In Dubai a lot of people come there whether from the US, from the UK, from Europe, from Asia. That's where they start their careers because they create a business and don't forget it's like raw. So when Lewis has an idea and you come and pitch it in the UAE or in Dubai you probably are the first one. It's not like it's a thousand years old and many people thought and built those businesses.
Starting point is 00:06:09 No, you might be. So all of my startups are technically the first of its kind. Really? Not because I'm a genius, it's because it's a young country. So I have an idea, I started and it does well. So very entrepreneurial. What is the, for a lot of people who have never been there, they think of like maybe it's superficial
Starting point is 00:06:28 or maybe those who have visited, it's very superficial. There's luxury everywhere. It's an excess of money. It just seems like it's just unlimited. Like it just keeps coming. Does that help or hurt values within the communities there? By having that much money. Or what does that do to values or communities? I think it's an inaccurate perception
Starting point is 00:06:52 Do a lot of rich people move to Dubai absolutely because Dubai has Provided so much like it's you know, you leave your car keys in the car Yeah, you your doors are generally open and it doesn't happen by coincidence It happens because the level of security and the level of effort that the government is putting is immense Like the other day I was walking with somebody who was just coming for a week and she goes Can we walk here? I'm like, yeah and For her to is shocking you see like in Europe was, can we walk here? And I'm like, yeah. And for her, it was shocking. She's like, in Europe, I can't do this walk
Starting point is 00:07:28 at the end of the night. No way. For me, it's a no-brainer, but for her, it's a brainer. So I think the level of safety and the level of logistics and the level of ease to build your business and all of that, and the network you build in Dubai, it's, well, if you think the world has six degrees of separation between any two people, I think in Dubai it's two.
Starting point is 00:07:49 Really? Between you and anybody, it's probably two, max. So your network there is crazy. So that's why the rich people are moving. The schooling is great, the logistics, the quality of life is good, safety, which is quite undervalued,ued is so important so that's why you see a lot of rich people there but it doesn't mean there are no middle class and low-income people everybody there all kinds of people now to the second part of your question how has it affected maybe culture the the interesting thing about Dubai has always been a trading city even my grandfather when he was there it's where people used to go to the port, sell carpets, sell spices, sell gold.
Starting point is 00:08:28 So it's always had a lot of people, different nationalities, so we're quite accustomed to that. But you still feel a sense of value and togetherness, which I love, like I don't wanna lose that. What is the mindset about how to generate wealth? How is it different with people in Dubai then versus in America from your experience? How do they think about money differently?
Starting point is 00:08:53 Is it scary? Is it something they're anxious about? Are they holding onto it? Are they thinking, oh, spend it, invest it, because I'm gonna create more of it? That's also a good question. I've lived in the US and in the US I feel I Do feel and I hope nobody gets bothered with it I don't the American dream is is quite just a dream
Starting point is 00:09:16 Like I do think 1% to make it and they make it big probably the best in the world If you make it in the US as the 1% year But the 99% who come with the American dream I don't know if they ever achieved their dream because I see them hustling so much just to live okay not even wow not even really comfortable like I'm doing two jobs and a part-time and my wife is doing this and my son and you're like all of you are working for this level so I always found that the marketing wise is great.
Starting point is 00:09:45 You think I'm going to come and build this life. But I do think that has shifted. Now you come to the region. I've seen a lot of expats come to the UAE and Dubai. And they actually live the dream. They come. They build a business. It could be a chocolate business.
Starting point is 00:10:02 It could be a specialty coffee. It could be whatever, textile. And suddenly they have 16 branches. So how we look at money is not out of fear. Because it's contagious when you live in a very entrepreneurial city. If you go to New York, it's a bit different than going maybe to Dallas or to Wisconsin. It's very contagious in Dubai that everybody's coming up with an idea. So it's competitive, but if you're entrepreneurial, it's pretty a good place to be. And I've seen people, like even my best friend is from Boston.
Starting point is 00:10:34 So a few years ago I kept telling him, come with your wife, come to Dubai, trust me, trust me. And I had to nag for years. Eventually he did, and for him, you can ask him, it's the best decision he's ever made. His kids all go to a good school, he has a beautiful villa, has a nice car, has a great family, and it's safe. And he's built a business as a consultant now. So it's not like I'm selling something, I've seen it happen.
Starting point is 00:10:59 He's making more money in Dubai now than in America. For sure. Really? Yeah. Do people talk about money differently though? Is it like an open conversation? Because I feel like a lot of people live in fear around money or it's taboo to talk about sometimes or it's hard to get in America sometimes.
Starting point is 00:11:17 They see a few people, the 1% getting it and they're like, okay, maybe it's possible for them but not for me. How's the conversation around abundance and money different in Dubai? I think when you live, Louis, in a city where you see people make it, and when I say make it, it doesn't mean you have to be a millionaire.
Starting point is 00:11:36 You could just have $10,000, $20,000, but you're happy with it. So even the idea of wealth and abundance is a subjective thing. Some people don't want a million dollars They just want a quality life where when he wants to buy a t-shirt He buys it and he doesn't need to do three jobs to do that Right, and I think that's the difference here. It feels they put so much effort just to live. Okay
Starting point is 00:11:57 There by their keep up in the rent and yeah payments and bills there There's more of a direct correlation as okay okay, Lewis came to Dubai, he worked this much, he will get the return on investment. Here I feel you work this much, your return on investment is like, ah. Really? I don't know, maybe I'm wrong. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:15 But that's the perception I get. I haven't lived here for a while. I mean, when you grew up here though, what was your perspective around money growing up in the States? Did your parents talk about it openly? Was it a free flowing conversation? Was it, hey, we don't have a lot of it, so don't go spend this. We can't buy this. What was that conversation like?
Starting point is 00:12:35 And did it shift when you started to go to buy more? So on a tangent, the idea of discussing money, I do think, is quite taboo in Arab and Asian. Like you don't sit on a lunch table and talk about it. If you read the book, Rich Dad, Poor Dad, he had that contrast. One of the fathers is like, oh, it's the devil talk. You don't talk about money on this table. And then another father is like, no, we talk about money. So I never came from a culture where you talked about investments and, oh, we should invest
Starting point is 00:13:03 in stocks and we should do this and don't put it in this account. Never. So financial literacy was extremely poor for me and for a lot of my generation. You just don't talk about it. You just put your money in the saving and get your 1% per year which is probably the most silly thing you could do with your money. If now today we are more educated like no move your money keep something but move it put a bit here put're like no, move your money, keep something, but move it, put it up here, put it there, get some, make your money work. Don't let it just stay in a bank.
Starting point is 00:13:30 So that was never discussed, that's the question. And when I lived in Boston. That was when you were in Boston. No, that was ever, always. Yeah, your parents never did. Never. And I don't think they had the financial literacy to teach us.
Starting point is 00:13:44 And if you don't have the conversation you never improve You never debate you never discuss which stock you should go to so we didn't have that but in Boston I was on a scholarship and Boston is expensive very so I was just trying to manage my I was I've been independent since I was 17 So yeah, just how to I I remember Louis, we didn't have nice clothes when we were students and my roommate was chunky, he was big and I was so skinny. I was like half of this and I was like, man, there's this store, we need to go... I don't even promote them but it's just a designer. And I'm like, we need to get a t-, but it was expensive for us. It was so now
Starting point is 00:14:28 It's not but you look at every like we can't buy anything from there So like, you know, why don't we buy one t-shirt and like in the middle the size Somewhere where it looks like you're wearing spandex and for me it looks like I'm and we literally share like he's this big and I'm This small but we both paid for it and it was really nice to have but it just didn't look good on any of us, right? But that was how? Yeah, I think it's beautiful that you work towards then earning your money that so you can live Well, when did you start to think about money differently? Because it sounds like you grew up where it wasn't talked about your parents didn't talk about it and you weren't allowed to have open
Starting point is 00:15:06 conversations. So when did the shift happen for you where you said I need to learn about money differently to be able to run my business or to be able to raise the kids I have or whatever might be. What year is that and when did it start to unlock where money flowed to you? The problem is I'm very ignorant when it comes to investments and I'm teaching myself. So real estate is something that my grandfather did very well, God rest his soul, and we never learned how he did it.
Starting point is 00:15:39 He didn't teach you guys? No. And I think with me, because I'm'm a purist when it comes to my entrepreneurship I follow my passion and when money comes it comes and the good thing is if you're usually good at what you do it eventually does come but it doesn't mean you're being smart because you could let's say you suddenly make the first time you open the podcast in six months you make 10 000 dollars buy new cameras get the sound engineer and suddenly you're back to zero. So you need to realize okay if I'm ill how am I making money if you're sleeping as Louis? Are people
Starting point is 00:16:12 purchasing my book? Are people purchasing a course? And that's who I think I started to think more like that in the last five years or so. Where how can I have passive income? and even I was talking to my brother the other day and he's like yeah this year's been challenging we need to restructure blah blah blah and I told him you know what his name is Harath I'm like Harath even if you take out a thousand dollars five thousand dollars whatever every month just put two thousand dollars somewhere put it in crypto put it it in real estate, anything.
Starting point is 00:16:45 One of those are going to hit, but I don't want it in the bank. So let's start, and he's good with crypto and we're good with stocks. So like, it doesn't have to be a big one. So this is something also for the audience. We don't have to feel crippled. You could put $100, you could put $500, but that times 12 months is something. And that in five years is something else and I think we need to do that more we're so afraid and we keep
Starting point is 00:17:11 things in their saving because we're like oh rainy day yeah but keep something as security what will make you live maybe for three months after that move everything let it move sure and that's what I'm trying to do now. I mean, you've interviewed a lot of, I think you've interviewed some people in the royal family, right? Are you sorry? Have you interviewed some people in the royal family?
Starting point is 00:17:32 Yeah. In Dubai? Correct. And what is the difference between those who grow up in wealth versus those that don't grow up with money? That's a great question. Because a lot of people in the royal family
Starting point is 00:17:46 or the children of the royal family, they grew up in wealth. It's just around them. Is there a difference in the way they think, the way they act, the way they move? Do they have an entitlement? Are they more humble? What is the difference between growing up in wealth versus not?
Starting point is 00:18:02 It's a very good question and of course you have all kinds of people. You know, some rich families, the kids take it for granted. They don't feel the value of money. And some, they suddenly have a business acumen and a finance acumen. And the ones I was lucky to befriend, they don't feel inferior to money. I think a lot of us that we came from a modest background or a simple background, it's like it's a taboo.
Starting point is 00:18:34 It's like how can I get it? But when you think it's just a tool and like it's a mindset, it's kind of a confident mindset. You know when you feel you can't get the girl or you're already losing? So you walk up to the girl, you're already feeling inferior or insecure or you're trembling. That energy doesn't welcome the best looking or the smartest girl, for example. But if you're like, I think it's worth a try.
Starting point is 00:19:00 You know what? I think I have the right confidence. Let me have a conversation. Very different response. And I think their confidence towards one because they've lived it is a bit different for somebody who's like, I don't know. And I really believe law of attraction only works not by what you write down or what you say out loud. I think it's a law of attraction is based on conviction inner conviction And if your inner conviction is clear that you actually Lewis actually inside Believes he will have the best-selling book next year. For example, you truly think
Starting point is 00:19:34 No my book I wrote it so well. It has a definite a chance a chance for it Then you have a chance but if you're like It's not that good well, you say it's good to everybody, but internally, and the same goes to how we look, and the same goes to how we feel about our brain, our self-esteem, and what we think we're worth.
Starting point is 00:19:51 So if you look at your relationship with money, and you truly think, I'm talented, I'm working hard, and I'm pretty sure I can one day have a vehicle, I can private jet, I think I can have a private jet, or I think I can have a million dollars, or, or, or. You truly believe it, I do think if you collect a private jet, I think I can have a private jet, or I think I can have a million dollars, or, or, or. You truly believe it. I do think if you then you add that with the work, it will equal manifestation.
Starting point is 00:20:13 For someone though, watching or listening that's saying, well, it's easy to have conviction when your parents are wealthy and you grew up in wealth. But if I didn't grow up in wealth or I have a more of a modest upbringing like us, how do I create a conviction inside of me that I feel comfortable around money and I feel comfortable money is coming to me if I don't know how to handle it?
Starting point is 00:20:37 On the first part I will contradict it too. So some, let's say a wealthy kid who his parents pass away, he inherits all the money. How many blow out all the money? A lot of them. Because that, you see, so it doesn't guarantee sustainability, doesn't guarantee profitability for the long run. A lot of wealthy kids, they just don't know the value of money or they're not financially literate to know how to keep it. Dad had a lot of money. He's the one who made it. And now I don't know the value of money or they're not financially literate to know how to keep it Mom dad had a lot of money He's the one who made it and now I don't know how to make money
Starting point is 00:21:10 I lose it all I throw it all away in five years a lot of even professional athletes or whatever as soon as they stop Whoop all the money goes so it's never a guarantee if you were born into wealthier stay wealthy Who made you wealthy you need to learn from that person. Now, with us two, for somebody that comes from a more modest background, I do believe in small wins. You know, it's like confidence is a muscle. And if you train it, it's going to get strong.
Starting point is 00:21:41 And if you stop training, it's going to wither away. And then you have to retrain it. Maybe the second time you retrain it, it's quicker to build because you have the body memory and I think the same confidence for me has always been departments in your brain. So when we say somebody is confident it's a very blanket statement. It's quite inaccurate. Yeah but he's confident in what? Oh he's a a great public speaker. So he's very confident in public speaking, but maybe he's very not confident in relationships. Maybe he's very insecure as a father. So we cannot just say somebody's just confident. It's a very delusional way of giving that sticker away.
Starting point is 00:22:19 So I like to see it as departments. And how do you build these departments is by practice. A bicycle. The first time we tried to get on a bicycle we were so insecure we're so fearful we put those two small training wheels on the side then you remove one but eventually even do it without even holding the the handle you're so good at it and even if you stop for a year the next time you quickly pick it up so I believe that's my advice is trial. So when you try, you're like, man, and as I invested in five stock, they all flopped except one.
Starting point is 00:22:49 It's not bad, you know? I think this is why when I did the research on this one, kind of worked more. And suddenly you're getting 1% confidence, 2% confidence, 3%, and suddenly you're at 70% confident. And now you know your shit. You know how to. And I think that's so important. It's interesting because I was looking
Starting point is 00:23:08 at an office building a couple months ago and one of the units I was looking at to rent out, the broker, I was like, ah, I feel like I need some upgrades or whatever. Would the owner put money to invest to upgrade it? And she was like, whatever you need done, she will do. Because she has owner's guilt. And I go, what do you mean?
Starting point is 00:23:31 She goes, well, she got handed this building, this big building, and she's got a portfolio of massive real estate portfolio that she didn't create. It was like her father passed away and gave her all the properties. So the broker is like whatever you need she's gonna do it because she feels guilty and so she'll invest in like just making it nice for you. Not trying to make the most money from it but just like I'm already making so much that I
Starting point is 00:23:57 didn't create. It's imposter syndrome. It's kind of just like yeah I'll do whatever just to make people happy type of thing. Do you notice that as well in Dubai with like children of the royal family who've been handed a lot of money? Do they have this kind of guilt for receiving it or they have a different level of confidence? I don't know many in the royal family,
Starting point is 00:24:19 but the ones I've met are really impressive. Really? I swear. How so? Just the level of sophistication, the level of knowledge and well traveling, that's huge, you know, when you're well traveled or when you're well educated.
Starting point is 00:24:34 And when you, Lewis, when you're born, and I hope I don't sound too biased, but I'm a big fan of my own country. And the writing is in the pudding, like you can see, it's of my own country. And the writing is in the pudding. You can see it's actually a great country. So when I see how the leadership that made the country a United Arab Emirates, how they were visionaries,
Starting point is 00:24:57 like literally, Lewis, with everybody watching, if anybody told us 60 years ago that this piece of desert is going to be one of the most sought-out? Countries in the world and best cities to live in in the world. Nobody would have believed it not you not me nobody nobody But you had visionaries and and if somebody is going to watch this and yeah, of course you had oil money How many countries in the world have oil money a lot? Where are they? Not too well,. That's my point. There are some of them have corruption, some of them they just don't know how to use it or invest it in their people. You know that one of our leaders, God rest his soul, he's
Starting point is 00:25:35 the founder of the UAE, his name is Sheikh Zayed. So Sheikh Zayed, when he was taking the leadership, I'm told that he went to families telling them, and listen to this, he telling them, I'll pay you if you send your children, your boys and girls to school. Not you pay to go to school, no, I will pay you. I will reward you if you send our children to school. And we call him Baba Zayed, which is like Father Zayed,
Starting point is 00:26:06 because he was literally a father to a lot of people in the country and outside. Like I've been to Comoros Islands, which nobody probably knows where it is. And I saw I was in the car, because I was with UNICEF, and we're going across this island, and I see a small school, and it's written Sheikh Zayed School for Children.
Starting point is 00:26:21 I'm like, he even has a school here? So he was very, even in the US, he did a lot, by the way, a lot for the hospitals and for a lot of the charity. So coming back to the idea, if you have a leader who's investing in these people and paying them, like, please send them to school, please. Because he knows in 20 years, those kids are the next wave.
Starting point is 00:26:44 So I think when you say petrol money, it's one thing, but what are you doing with it? For example, Dubai doesn't have petrol. But look at Dubai. Number one, income tourism. Look at that, that's a huge achievement. People might think Dubai's still running on oil. No, Dubai is about tourism.
Starting point is 00:27:04 Really? Absolutely. How much does it bring in a year with tourism? I don't know I can't make up those. I'm sure we can find them on chat GPT but just in the last two years I was talking to somebody in the tourism in the last two years we have increased only Dubai 400,000 new people. Wow. So and they're not low income these are families that are bringing money and investments in the city. I know Miami. I heard Miami is doing very well also in the US.
Starting point is 00:27:31 And there are certain cities that are providing a good place for families to come and just settle. So that takes extreme vision for someone like that to say, OK, we are in a plot of sand. There's nothing here. There's no infrastructure. There's no plumbing. There's of sand. There's nothing here. There's no infrastructure.
Starting point is 00:27:46 There's no plumbing. There's no roads. There's no nothing. It's just sand, desert, and heat. And Dubai is hot, man. It's hard to freaking live there. In the summer, yeah. It is.
Starting point is 00:27:55 Oh, it penetrates your soul, that type of heat. It's just so different, Louis. Even the ruler of Dubai, he decided to build a port when nobody, they're like, why you wanna build such a big port? And he's like, we should build it. And everybody didn't agree or didn't see it. That is one of the most important ports
Starting point is 00:28:13 in the region today. Like when you think of it, like it's easy not to say, of course you should build a port. No, no, like back then, why would you? No one was going there, yeah. And but you know, when you have, that's beautiful. Like I would love to sit on a dinner table and listen to people like that that had, Back then, why would you? Knowing what's going there, yeah. But you know, when you have, that's beautiful. Like I would love to sit on a dinner table
Starting point is 00:28:27 and listen to people like that that had, and we have them across the world, whether it's a Muhammad Ali or a Gandhi or a Mandela. You have visionaries, and they saw something that they didn't need to do, because some of them are already wealthy. They're okay, they don't need to do it. But there's a passion in the people.
Starting point is 00:28:45 And I think if you invest in the people, you never go wrong, never. That's true. And notice all the names that I just said. They all invested in their people. So how is the conversation around money today there? Are people talking about it openly or is it still taboo in conversation?
Starting point is 00:29:04 Not taboo at all. Really? Yeah, yeah. Now people talk. They do? I think the internet also helped a lot. Yeah. Investments and people, how they use their money.
Starting point is 00:29:14 It's in my family, it wasn't, but I know even in Asian families, usually money won't be discussed much. So when you're around the royal family or you see them, they're very sophisticated. They're very well traveled. What else do very sophisticated. They're very well traveled. What else do they have? They're very well educated. Very. And again, because we have this lineage, right?
Starting point is 00:29:32 If you start from Sheikh Zayed and Rashid, who are the founders, and then you take that teaching and how they approach the country and how it was so important that the people are happy. For example, as an Emirati, we get land for free. We get a loan to build. We get an interest fee. We get education for free. We get what else? There is a loan to build and loan for weddings. A loan for weddings? Yeah. So you can actually get married. And really?
Starting point is 00:30:03 So they set you up. How important? It's not? So they set you up. How important is it? Like it's not so, they will set you up, they'll support you where it's really important to set you for life. How important is marriage and family in Dubai or in UAE? It's huge.
Starting point is 00:30:17 Why? Why are they investing in people getting married? Because one, you want your people to grow and you want to build family units that are really strong. And I think maybe we're generally in the modern world, we're undermining the value of strong families. It's so beautiful. Like I work with my brother.
Starting point is 00:30:37 He's my business partner in all of, and my mother brought us up so well. We have such a solid unit. Like me and my brothers are old buddies and we all trust each other. You can't beat that. Like you can't find a business partner if he's also competent and your brother's competent you always wanted the brother. Right. He's your blood. If he's not competent and somebody else is. Then you don't use him. Like I do think to be a great entrepreneur you should be ready to fire your mother. Wow. So it's tough. Yeah but
Starting point is 00:31:04 that's that's what it takes. You can't be like, oh, but you know, that's my buddy, that's my mother, that's my brother. No, you have to, as an entrepreneur, you have to be very objective. You've got to put the best person in the position to help you grow. Yeah. So I'm lucky with them. And coming back to your point, marriage and good units and good families build a society and The society is built on ethical good value people good mannered people Good units you have a very strong society in Europe today Maybe in American a lot of places in the world is very disintegrated
Starting point is 00:31:38 Like what you when you said NSU were I live both I live the American life and I have lived the UAE life and I love some things in both and I don't like some things in both so I try to merge the most of everything so what are the things you loved about both and things you don't love about both okay so in America I really liked just the people are really nice. I love that and I loved my college years and it was just really good formative years for me. What I didn't like is the family values
Starting point is 00:32:14 where I felt were very weak compared to where I come from. Like if you just see your family once a year or Christmas or Thanksgiving, for me that was sad. Like I'm like, you're missing out guys. Like this is so important. We go once a week to our families or we talk to them. It's such a strong unit with your brothers, your siblings. So that I didn't like. And like I said in the beginning of the interview, like there's not much unity between
Starting point is 00:32:36 people. Now back home I think we moved so fast. Maybe before it was more rigid. Now we're so open to the world. So now we're great But a lot of topics like the money was taboo culture Openness to the world now Dubai is one of the most modern cities But one of the beautiful things for me that I don't want to chase is the good mannerism I don't think Lewis you've been to the UAE been to the wine It's very difficult to find an Emirati who wouldn't treat you with good hospitality, good mannerism, and just be nice to you. So that's really nice and how you're warm with people. If you
Starting point is 00:33:15 just say, oh guys, I'm hungry, they'll all invite you. Wow. Whether he has money or not, he will invite you. Really? Yeah, it's in our culture. And and I remember for example in a neighboring country It was my dad was in Oman. So he went to the mosque to pray and he went to the small town in Oman very very like a farming town maybe and He just went to for prayer like let's say afternoon prayer and at least three guys in the mosque
Starting point is 00:33:39 They're like your lunch is with us and he's like no not with me and they're like competing who would invite my dad And I found that quite sweet like you don't see it in a lot of places in the world They truly mean it's not like they're just being nice They really want to take care of you and he's like listen if you don't have a place to stay our house We have a guest room and it's why is that? You're brought up like that You're brought up to be nice to other people and hospitable and you represent your culture, your religion and your country that way and I love that and I think the world generally needs a bit more of that. Yeah. Yeah. Hmm.
Starting point is 00:34:15 What are the values you've learned through prayer that have allowed you to create more prosperity? Do you pray frequently? I do. I used to do it much better. You're a bad prayer. No, I don't think there's such a thing as a bad prayer. I was brought up in a very conservative family. My dad is religious, my mom, and I think there's a lot of beauty to prayer, Louis. Let's talk about it from an objective point of
Starting point is 00:34:53 view. When you're a busy person, and in Islam there are five prayers, and I think Christianity, I think you can pray five a day, right? Yeah, at different times. And I think in Christianity it's flexible. I think on can pray. Five a day, right? Yeah. Yeah. At different times. And I think in Christianity, it's flexible. I think on Sunday, you go to the church and different religions have different practices. But the idea of prayer that you have to pause, I think that's really important. Like today, we talk about meditation, we talk about leave your phones. So imagine you're in a religion where five times a day, you need to take a five-minute break. It doesn't take long and you go and you pray and
Starting point is 00:35:29 you take a spiritual connection or a literally a pause. I think there's a beauty to that. It teaches you time management, it teaches you prioritization, it teaches you to take time for yourself and it's also our prayer is a bit of movement so there's a bit of stretching, it's like yoga. So I think there are a lot of pros and discipline. One of the things I love about the five times a day prayer is probably a lot easier to let go of the past. If someone, if you got into an argument with someone
Starting point is 00:36:04 and you're feeling frustrated or resentful about something, if you're praying about it five different times a day, you might be able to let that go quicker. You know, from one prayer to the next, hopefully you could let it go. I'm not saying everyone can. That type of practice of forgiveness, of reflection of, okay, how do I want to show up with these next five hours or next four hours until the next moment? I didn't show up well.
Starting point is 00:36:28 I reacted to my neighbor, I screamed, I honked in the car. Okay, how do I be better these next few hours? I think that five times a day gives you, hopefully, a moment to reflect and say, I gotta be better. Let me go apologize to the person I just did this to you, that's not okay. Even in our prayer we have something called wudu, which is like you have to just wash your face
Starting point is 00:36:50 and your hands, just that interesting practice comes. You imagine like literally you're really pissed off, you're stressed at work and you're like, okay guys, let me just go pray and come back. And you have to go wash and you wash your face. This that interesting practice calms you down by the way. You cleanse yourself. Yeah, so then you go and pray and now you're forced
Starting point is 00:37:11 to be good and nice and pray because you need to disconnect from the stress you just had in the meeting or an argument with your partner or so suddenly you're pausing now and I think that that's where I agree with you when you pause you regulate. I remember by the way your answer and maybe talks. I asked you a question I said Lewis if you could teach every child in the world one thing only what would you see your answer is one of the best? Answers I've ever had on the show truly. Yeah, he said emotional regulation. Yeah, and I think a prayer or a disconnect Allows you to regulate before you just fight
Starting point is 00:37:46 and cause something that, it's like when you're arguing, you go for a walk. And then come back. So there is a lot of blessings to that. What season of life were you making the most money? What year did you bring in the most money from your businesses? I have four businesses at them. I used to have six. I have four
Starting point is 00:38:08 now. But the funny thing is each one does better in different years. This year the hair salon is like hair salon. Woo. It's doing well. Oh man. I got to come and get a haircut in Dubai. For sure. It's a good one. And I got inspired by New York Loft Style Salons. Oh, they're nice. Yeah's a good one. And I got inspired by New York loft style salons. Oh, they're nice. Yeah. They're nice.
Starting point is 00:38:27 So a lot of your business ideas, you just visit America, you see what's working and you say, oh, we don't have this in Dubai. Let me bring this over and it's gonna crush. Actually two, two of the six were because of an American idea. That's smart. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:38:42 If it's not there, but you know it does well somewhere else then hopefully the... The first one was artificial grass football or soccer fields. So I played it in Boston we played and it was air conditioned like oh yeah in Dubai with our weather air conditioned but turf with cleats. Yeah with soft turf with like rubber. Exactly and I wrote it and we were the first in the UAE and it went from one or two pitches I think I think 26 28 pitches Wow. Yeah, they were indoor indoor Oh, I see. Yeah, I was gonna say cuz you can't have grass there. You know, it'd be watering all day long
Starting point is 00:39:14 I got a smart thing. Yeah Depends each year some of the businesses do well some not What was the year that you made the most? You don't have to say how much, but what year? What year? I think maybe two years ago, three years ago, we did great and all. How much were you praying leading into that year? I don't pray for money.
Starting point is 00:39:43 I'm not talking about money, I'm just saying how much we pray. Ah, spiritually? Yes, not like give me more money, but how much you just have to be prayer in your life. Every day. I think it's important. Were you doing it more before that?
Starting point is 00:39:58 No. No. I'm a consistent guy. Like even every night I will journal. And in my journal you'll see my gratitude, what I did today, kind of like a diary, and what I'm happy that I did, and what was quite cool. And part of my, this is like, it's not a secret,
Starting point is 00:40:16 but I don't usually share this, but part of it at the end I will write, like they call it affirmations, I don't like the word affirmations, I think it's over trendy, but I think it's important to write things that you want to do or get. So I do that every day.
Starting point is 00:40:32 And you know that was the funny part, Lewis, if any of you watching do this, go back at the end of the year and you'll see you'll be shocked at how much of it actually happened. Of what you write down, what you wanna create. What actually happened. Like you said, you're what you want to create. What actually happened. Like you said you're gonna do all of this
Starting point is 00:40:46 in the beginning of the year, you'll be shocked what happens at the end of the year. Yeah, like I do that and I'm like. Check, check, yeah, yeah. It's pretty cool. You were, you got married young, 24? Correct. Married for nine years, then divorced,
Starting point is 00:41:03 then separated for last 10 years. 10 years, then divorced, then separated for the last 10 years. Nine, 10 years, yeah. What did you learn about yourself through getting married in your early 20s, getting divorced in your early 30s, and being not married for the last 10 years, but co-parenting, what have you learned about yourself from the whole process?
Starting point is 00:41:22 I learned that I don't advise people to get married young because it's very formative years in the modern age. Maybe back in your dad's time, my dad's time as well as a bit different expectations and criteria. It worked for my parents, they got young too. Yeah, I don't know maybe if it worked because maybe the expectations and criteria of marriage was different 50 years ago or 80 years ago. Today I think because you want them
Starting point is 00:41:48 to be proper companion and really get you like we were talking also about your relationship you need that proper partnership because they they kind of wear more than one had not just the mother of your kids or just your wife it's your go-to your advisor. So I learned that young marriage, in my opinion, young marriage has two advantages. I used to say one, it's two. One, that if you have kids, the difference in age between you and your kids is small,
Starting point is 00:42:13 so you become buddies, which is pretty cool. Other than that, I never had anything. I didn't think it was positive. But the second one that I recently added is you're ignorant. And when you're ignorant, you don't overthink things so for example today at this age I know how expensive it is to have children and now if I get married I'll be I'll really be careful how many kids you would I would have right but when you're 24 you figure it out yeah like you have kids and you're
Starting point is 00:42:42 not over you just do the bungee jump, you know? You're not so scared. So I think there is some advantage that not recklessness, but that like, I don't know, but I'm gonna find out. We'll make it work. Yeah, we'll make it work. So that's what the young marriage. And I think that's what I learned.
Starting point is 00:42:58 And I think it's such formative years. When you're in your twenties, you think you kind of know, but you, we were different people at the end of the marriage, like literally. It's like you become another human. So for me, especially the 20s, if your trajectory is 10 degrees to the right
Starting point is 00:43:15 and hers is five degrees to the left, you multiply that by five years, and that's just trajectory. I didn't even talk about speed. Imagine at some point, one of you is looking at the other in the rear view mirror. At another point, you don't even see them anymore.
Starting point is 00:43:30 So I do think we change a lot. And I always imagine the dolphins. You need to swim like the dolphins. Sometimes you're a bit front. They're a bit behind. But you're kind of still in harmony. And if there is no harmony, you just grow apart and you fall out of love and you just change. So that's I think on
Starting point is 00:43:50 the young marriage. Co-parenting has been great. I was, I this I would give advice. Oh they say when you marry, you marry a family, especially in our world. I think you do. You marry the family. You don you don't marry only the person. Marriage. You marry the family because your children, Louis, will also be brought up in their household with their, with her mother, with her father, with her siblings, with her auntie, her cousin, especially the children, gravity to the mother also. So it's not like only your wife is bringing him up or her up. So I knew the value also even more of my in-laws when I divorced because they're till today they're great. And till today I speak to my
Starting point is 00:44:32 stepmom, I speak to my ex-wife and they're lovely people. They speak highly of me, I speak highly of them. And I realize how important and one of the best decisions I've made was to marry into their family. Really? Because when you're divorced then it's like when you let somebody go in your business. A lot of them are not nice because the benefit is gone. The contract or the agreement is gone. So now they don't have anything with Louis. They can say he was a bad boss.
Starting point is 00:44:59 I can't believe that they can do everything. Just blame you. But if they leave and say, man, Louis, one of the best periods of my life great leader I learned a lot from him now I always say judge people on how they leave mmm and and I think when I left that family they've been class Wow so that's helped us a lot in co-parenting and we have two beautiful, so we're always in touch about them. And what was your third question about now? You said you're divorced.
Starting point is 00:45:32 Yeah, you've been not married for 10 years now. What have you learned about being divorced and then single essentially for the last decade? Yeah, I don't know if I'd get married again. Why not? Now I'm more open to it. If marriage is the fabric of your culture and your country you're getting me now. Why would you not want to be in alignment with the values of your country and culture? Now I am more. Okay. And to be honest I wasn't so
Starting point is 00:46:00 much maybe it is a trauma, maybe it is just trying, I was so focused on my businesses and it actually paid off, you know. You got results. Yeah, and I think now I'm more open to the idea that in the last stretch of your 30, 40 years of your life, 43 now, let's say another 40 years if we live healthy, hopefully, you start to think,
Starting point is 00:46:23 okay, companionship is actually nice. Intimacy is actually nice. And that's what I'm trying to teach also my son. So with my son, I told him, when we talk to our children, we say also Baba, and said, it's funny. I don't know how in certain cultures we also say to our, so they say Baba to you, but you also say Baba. It's weird, but it's in our culture. So so I was like Majid his name I'm like Baba listen
Starting point is 00:46:49 I don't want you to be brought up like the pop culture that we were brought up and we were brought up with music videos and so many women and masculinity was defined by the quantity not the intimacy and I said that's how we were brought up in school, in high school, in college. That's what we thought. You see movies, you see videos, you see music, and that's what you're taught as a man. I have a lot of women, you're a really masculine guy. And I told them, I don't want you to, I had to uninstall a lot of that programming from my brain, which still today is a process. But I told them, I don't want you.
Starting point is 00:47:27 I would love for you to have lived a life where you come and tell me, Dad, I fell in love three times in my life. The fourth one was my love of my life and I married her. I'll be so proud of you, rather than you telling me I went out with 40 girls. Right. Like, okay, what does that even mean?
Starting point is 00:47:44 Like, do you want me to clap that you, because if you're charming, you probably go on, yeah. But that's not the goal. The goal is, can you be intimate? Can you be vulnerable? Can you build an honest, clean, not cheating or fighting or toxic, can you build something healthy?
Starting point is 00:48:01 I'll be so proud of you if you do that. And I want to instill that in my sons. Mm. Yeah. Did you feel shame or some type of trauma when you went through the divorce based on cultural norms? Was there anything there? Or did you feel at peace about it?
Starting point is 00:48:17 Divorce is not as scary as when my mother got divorced. When my mother got divorced, it was difficult for her, really tough. She went through a hard time in the society. Now it's way more open, but now I feel also some people are just too easy with it. Like they don't even wait. I don't like when people give up too easy.
Starting point is 00:48:37 Like in six months you're divorced, what does that even mean? What did you even do? Right. So I didn't face backlash from my society, but I'm sure there is some trauma somewhere. You know, when you invest nine years of your life with someone and you build a family with them, you can't be a robot and just think everything is fine. It's not.
Starting point is 00:48:59 And I think somewhere in your subconscious you're like, okay, anti-vulnerability, anti-commitment. Anti-intimacy, yeah, all that stuff. And because I'm also a control guy, and control is you stay on the surface. Yeah, you don't go deep. You don't go deep, and that's not great. You have to, and vulnerability is bravery, vulnerability is courage.
Starting point is 00:49:22 And to say, I'm gonna try if it works, it works. That's scary. Have you started to tap into your vulnerability or open your heart more since then? Yeah, in the latest years. In the last two years maybe. The first eight years, no. No.
Starting point is 00:49:37 All surface, all control, make sure everything's safe for you. Really? How did that feel versus opening your heart more in the last couple of years? The thing is, look, people talk about like it's black or white. We're very binary as humans.
Starting point is 00:49:55 And not everything, there is a beauty to everything. If you don't have anything serious, and you're a person who's working a lot, and you're working hard and you're enjoying your work, and when you meet someone, you meet someone someone but maybe it's surface there's a beauty to it let's also not be foolish and say that oh no that's so sad and depressing it doesn't have to be and also if you decide to be intimate there's another richness to it the surface level relationship let's not call it ugly or
Starting point is 00:50:22 disgusting because it's just hating on something that maybe somebody's not too excited about. Maybe we'll call it a very light sweetness to it. Light, but it's not rich. It's not enriching. It's not full of good ingredients. Maybe it doesn't feed the soul as much as maybe it will quench your thirst, but not proper. Now, intimacy, if done properly, and I think one day we need to sit and learn about your intimacy, I think once you hit that correctly, that's a different flavor.
Starting point is 00:50:57 That is like, you're like, you can't go back to being casual or surface. So hard, yeah. Because you just experienced companionship, you experienced pure love. That's beautiful, but not common. What do you think it'll take for you to fully be intimate and allow for yourself to open your heart
Starting point is 00:51:15 and be deeply in love? I think inner work, I don't think it has much to do. I do believe there are certain, like you met Martha, right? She was a key to to Lewis she was one of the keys to your heart I do believe we have keys around the world I don't believe one soulmate I believe soulmates I'm a probability guy but is the probability that you're going to meet more than one in a lifetime I don't know even if it's a hundred thousand around the world it's you and your fortune, right? So when you meet one of those kids, I think you need
Starting point is 00:51:48 to invest in that one at least. Now, there is a key to Lewis's heart. But also Lewis, if he doesn't work on himself, he's going to throw that key out. He will not know how to deal with it. So to answer you, I think a lot of it has to be inner work. If your inner work and your inner awareness, and I don't want to sound it like too tick tocky. No, when I mean inner work, I mean proper. Like you talk to a proper therapist, you learn about yourself, you see your patterns,
Starting point is 00:52:13 you see how you deal with people. Who are you actually attracted to? I was talking to my therapist about something very interesting, and it's I think a Carl Jung teaching. And the idea is each of us has an inner image of the gender that you're attracted to. So I have an inner image of the girls
Starting point is 00:52:31 that I'm attracted to that I'm not consciously aware of. So if you ask me as Louis Anderson, which kind of woman is the ideal woman, I'll give you the Chappelle, like one, two, three job description. I'm so clear. I know what they want. And she's this, she's sophisticated, well-traveled, I'll say everything. All the perfect things that probably anybody would say. But then you come and X-ray my track record and you're like, Anas, you
Starting point is 00:52:54 usually are attracted to somebody not exactly like what you just said, maybe it's like 30% but 70% is not what you've been preaching and then Anas as me I have to actually see I'm like oh my inner image of a woman what is it is it aligned with what I'm telling Lewis verbally and consciously and as long as they're very different you were you're going to be screwed we talked about how also you were attracted to certain women that are not good for you. No. So that's a pattern. That's your inner image of the girl that Louis likes. And it's like a Velcro.
Starting point is 00:53:30 So girl after girl is passing you by one of them sticks. And you wonder why that one, why of that age and that personality and that look and that purse, you you start to see what's going on. And then you have to understand why. So that's the inner work I'm talking about. When you understand your inner image of the person or the woman that you like, should be actually aligned
Starting point is 00:53:54 with what you would actually see on paper. What's the inner work you've been looking at that you've been most afraid to address? I'm not afraid. That's the cool thing. I actually am not. I'm a trier, I'm a curious human. So I, I, this, the funny thing is in my show, AB Talks,
Starting point is 00:54:15 we talk a lot about mental health and, and all of that. And I never had a therapist, although I talk about a lot of, a lot about it. But I, because we were brought up, like like we talked earlier in a very reactive way like when you're in depression you should get a doctor when you're devoid no you should see therapy as preventative maintenance not reactive maintenance like going to the gym you even if you're in great shape you have to maintain it keep going so I'm like okay I did first therapist didn't work. Second, it felt like home work.
Starting point is 00:54:46 Third one, third one clicked that I look for. He's in New York and we just met recently in person finally. And I'll bring out my notes, Louis, and I'll be like, oh, really? Okay. And it's so fun to talk to him because he has a great mind. And I told him, listen, I don't want to vent. I'll vent for a bit, but I need a brain. I don't want to lie down on a sofa and I talk already. I'm
Starting point is 00:55:10 not a guy who is like introverted with my feelings. So I've done that. I need a brain that challenges me, asks me the right questions. So with him I haven't been afraid. I'm just curious and I can talk about man I don't know how to build culture at work. And we'll talk about that that week. Then next week I can say, you know I really miss love. You miss love. Yeah, and we'll talk about that. So it's beautiful to, you don't have to be
Starting point is 00:55:35 in a very bad place just to talk to somebody. And if some outsider looks at Louis or Anna and says, let's look at your pattern. What's going on? You're like, man, I'm so frustrated every day. Why are you frustrated, Louis? Business, blah, blah, blah. Okay, well, let's dig in.
Starting point is 00:55:52 And you start to see, and he compared my approach to business and how I approach relationships. I never combined them. Wow. He compared it. Yeah. They're very similar. And he showed me the symmetry.
Starting point is 00:56:04 What's the similarities of how you approach business and relationships? One of it is the control. You know, I'm not a controlling person like where are you, who are you with. I don't care about all of that. I love giving freedom because I also appreciate it for myself. So I can't preach what I don't practice. But surface level relationships, control. Treating it like it's another meeting in your day. It's not a meeting, relax. Relax.
Starting point is 00:56:39 You don't have to go see them if you're feeling bad. You don't need to be a pleaser sometimes. And you're not a pleaser at work, so don't be to go see them if you're feeling bad. You don't need to be a pleaser sometimes. And you're not a pleaser at work, so don't be a pleaser. And you start to see, and you build your childhood also. Because a lot of how we are as our relationship with our mother, our relationship with our father, they say that you replicate the love language
Starting point is 00:56:58 of the same gender parent, and you want the same love language as the opposite gender parent. And when you think of it like, OK, Louis's mom, even if let's say your mom wasn't expressive, but you're finally attracted to an unexpressive woman because it's familiar, it's your comfort zone. But that doesn't mean that's what you need. So if you start to backtrack your childhood, your parenthood,
Starting point is 00:57:22 your good relationship, but you start to see what's going, what are you attracted to and what are you doing wrong? What's the biggest lesson that you've learned about yourself and therapy? Wow. Hmm. Dissecting why I am the way I am. That's been your biggest lesson? Learning how to dissect, why you are the way you are. Because if I ask you, Louis, why are you such a go-getter?
Starting point is 00:57:57 Why are you so competitive? Why are you such a, you're like, I've been this way, this is me. But why? What happened at home? What happened in school? Where are you bullied, where are you not? Where are you the popular guy?
Starting point is 00:58:12 Where are you a person that identifies your value just with how good looking or how strong you are in a game, in a football game? Is that your worth? Where's your brain? What are you attracted to? Why do you need people to like your images and pictures and comment too much? You start to understand, for example, I am,
Starting point is 00:58:34 were eight boys and one girl, but my parents divorced and married and had more kids. But from my mom and dad were three and were so different, Lewis. Then I told David, the doctor, And we're so different Lewis then I told the David the doctor I told him I don't come from a Like a really poor background. I come from a comfortable background more distant comfortable But I behave Like somebody who came from nothing like I know I have the drive or some of somebody that is so driven so passionate But my brothers don't and I don't mean it as I'm making fun, no, maybe it's better, I don't know. But why am I wired this way?
Starting point is 00:59:11 What happened? So that's a good question. You know? What did you learn? We just started this, like two weeks ago. But it's interesting, I'm the eldest, so that we started there, I'm the eldest, and he said something along the lines, I don't want to quote because I don't want to say it
Starting point is 00:59:27 wrong, but something along the lines that when you're the eldest, I was alone in Syracuse with my mother and maybe I started to maybe we still didn't reach there, but maybe I started to connect achievements and good deeds and good actions with pleasing my parents. Like, oh, they're happy now, I need to do more. Oh, they feel I'm a good guy, I'm a good boy. And maybe, this is just one theory. We still started, but it's pretty cool. And I think being the eldest has a lot to do with it.
Starting point is 01:00:00 What do you think is your biggest block from allowing you to love deeper and feel freer that you haven't yet figured out through therapy? Vulnerability. I think it's hard. It's hard for you? But you have a show that's all about vulnerability. It's easy to listen to vulnerability, not be it.
Starting point is 01:00:23 It's easy to ask the questions and hear someone else, but not be it. Interesting. Of course. It's easy for you to tell me to go to the gym 10 times, but you go 10 times. Right. It's much easier. And I do respect vulnerable people. I do appreciate and admire.
Starting point is 01:00:38 And that's what we need to push ourselves, especially as men, Louis. When you really do, I've seen a lot of research and studies on men versus women. For example, there is this I shot an episode with a psychotherapist about this. Did you know that parents tend to be much more loving to daughters than sons? So when the daughter falls and scratches her and you you're like, oh darling, are you OK? Your son goes, dad. He's like, it's OK, it's OK. Get up.
Starting point is 01:01:10 You're fine. Look at that. They could be six each, six years, six years. You're training and conditioning them. You're telling them, stop crying. Keep your emotions down. Stop yapping. And the daughter, like, come here.
Starting point is 01:01:22 Let me clean it. And I'm not saying all families are like that but it's it's a quite typical approach even if I was at that probably I would have done that by default but then you think about it like if he wants to cry let him cry if he feels hurt treat it like you would treat your daughter and I understand the world can be tough and you need the men to be men and strong and responsive, but they don't have to be suppressing emotions and getting angry or becoming toxic eventually. Do you still suppress your emotions? Less, because being a father makes your heart softer.
Starting point is 01:01:59 Like you sit me on a plane with a nice movie, I probably tear up for sure, especially on airplanes because of the aptitude. There's Especially on airplanes. Because of the altitude. There's a whole research on it by the way. Because I always used to tear up on planes and I'm like, there's something with planes. And I actually researched the high altitude. In the oxygen, yeah. You could watch an ad and be like.
Starting point is 01:02:19 I know. I watched a movie a few months ago and I cried like three times and I'm like, people next to me must be thinking I'm crazy. That's interesting. And I look forward to you being a dad. I know, I'm excited. I think you'll be a great dad.
Starting point is 01:02:36 I feel like I would have been terrified in my 20s. I think I would have, I just don't think I would have done a good job. I mean maybe I would have stepped to the occasion, but I didn't have any money, I didn't have a job. I think I would have just been terrified. I wouldn't have been a good husband. Maybe I would have been a good dad, but I wouldn't have been a good husband, I think, because I'd be out trying to make money
Starting point is 01:02:57 and then coming home and thinking about the kids. I wouldn't have known where to put priorities into. Priority needs to be with your partner, I believe, before the kids. 100%. Because they're gonna grow up and leave. Exactly. Which they call an empty nest.
Starting point is 01:03:11 Exactly. And you're with the partner who you probably neglected for the last few years. Yeah, exactly. And they're gonna resent you and be frustrated the whole time. So I think that's the key in finding a... Now I know what it is like,
Starting point is 01:03:25 do you know who Cesar Millan is? The dog whisperer? No. He's at a big TV show in America where he trains, he's a dog trainer. Okay. Right, but he, his whole thing is he doesn't train dogs, he trains humans.
Starting point is 01:03:39 So it's all about kind of rehabilitating humans on how to be a better leader in their life so they can lead their dog, right? Because most dogs lead the human. They're leading the way, they're pulling... Man, the guy I got to train my dogs trained me. That's what he does. Yeah. You got to train you on how to be more confident, more assertive, all these things, right? Better relationship with yourself so that the dogs are going to look up to you and say oh he's a leader not me
Starting point is 01:04:05 Yes Anyways, he said you know in America. We have it all wrong in American families when he's training mothers and fathers right And he said he usually goes the priority is you know mom first then? dog then kids, then husband. And the husband is like, what's in this for me? If I'm the last person here and I'm out hunting and providing,
Starting point is 01:04:36 I'm working my butt for this family, and she put the dog ahead of me. And I'm sure the woman probably feels last in some cases too, but he was explaining how you've got to have the parents, you know, first priority, then the children, then the dog. If we're competitive as people and as men, the competition, the true competition should be, how can I win over my woman consistently on a long run rather than jump to 20 women?
Starting point is 01:05:11 Why? If we really, again, we're probably competitive, me and you, we'll really think about it. If you're charismatic, you're well-spoken, you're good-looking, you're healthy, you're well-off, anybody, you'd be pretty good at probably any first date. Probably the tenth date. Because you're an impressive human, you worked on yourself. But is that really an achievement?
Starting point is 01:05:35 Or is it that when you find somebody really good, and you keep her loving you, and not going routine and boring or neglecting or, no, keeping her really loving you and not going routine and boring or neglecting or no, keeping her really loving you. Even after six years, he's like, man, this guy is just unbelievable. That's way harder by the way, way harder than winning over 10 random people and not to the surface level. What do you think it's going to take from you to be able to create that in a relationship in your life in the future?
Starting point is 01:06:05 Because you've lived a life now of 10 years of singleness, of in a way selfishness of not having to, obviously show up for your ex-wife in certain ways, but it's not as invested in a partnership that you would have right now. Correct. You show up for your kids, all these things, but you're not in an intimate relationship
Starting point is 01:06:24 where you're committed. What do you think it's gonna take from you to be able to fully commit in a relationship and go all in and keep winning her over every day for years? Man, I like your questions, Louis. Because it's probably been a pretty good life over the last decade. Freedom.
Starting point is 01:06:43 I don't have to, surface level, I can have fun with people, I don't have to fully commit. I don't have to surface level. I can have fun with people. I don't have to fully commit. I don't have to open my heart. I don't get hurt. I'm in control. I end it when I'm done. Like I said, there's a beauty to all scenarios. Of course. But there is also delusion. So when you don't know otherwise, you think that's it. You know, there are a lot of nice quotes on this, but none of them are popping in my mind. But it's like when you haven't been on the other side of the hill, you think that's the hill. That's the world, right? What is that saying about the fish?
Starting point is 01:07:27 the world, right? What is that saying about the fish? Like the fish thinks this is like something that I would, I need to search this one. It's the only amount of water in the world. Something like that, you know, that you think this is it. So when you have been used to diet relationships or lightweight, you think this, and it's nice and whatever, because you don't know else. You have no contrast, no benchmark. But when you try intimacy, which I have tried once in 10 years, you realize the beauty of intimacy.
Starting point is 01:07:59 And once you know you can't undo, it's like you have, it's literally in anything in life. You could go on a certain airlines and you think that's the airlines all of your life. You're going, this is the standard. You don't even feel bad. The moment you try a really good airlines, good service, everything, you're like, oh, now you can go back. So the thing with intimacy is similar.
Starting point is 01:08:22 The moment you have a serious relationship or a healthy one or pure love, it's very difficult to go back to superficial love or superficial liking. So to answer you what would and it's a bit different for me, Louis, because thank God I was blessed to have a good ex-wife. I was blessed to have children. So I don't have the peer pressure now. I have to just try this marriage thing. I don't have that peer pressure now I have to just try this marriage thing. I don't have that peer pressure which a lot of societies and cultures give you. Secondly, a lot of them get married for kids. I don't, if I have kids great, if I don't it's okay. So suddenly in my subconscious I don't have these drivers that a lot of people don't admit like today. Even Gen Z if I'm not mistaken they're getting married earlier than some other thing.
Starting point is 01:09:04 Yeah because I do think it's the social media like oh he proposed and I posted it on tik-tok and it flew And they love that I fantasizing idea of it. So My point is that I don't have those peer pressures. So now the criteria is only proper compatibility and companionship and to answer you proper compatibility and companionship. And to answer you, you need the key that we talked about, a really good key that when Louis or Anis is vulnerable and he's giving his love language, there is a ROI. You feel love too, so your love tank is also filling.
Starting point is 01:09:38 If you always just give and you feel their love language is just not translating or vice versa, it's not a good relationship. And I think that's when you like, let's say I give you a bit of me and I get a nice hug back or like a really good love language that I love. Oh, that's cool. OK, one more. Now I'm becoming more vulnerable because there's a return. You know what I mean? And then you're like, OK, now actually safe. Yes.
Starting point is 01:10:04 And I think this is where you'd be willing. With the right partner and the right intention internally, you can, especially if the love languages are compatible. I think that's so important. Yeah. This is fun, man. I've got two final questions for you. But I wanna make sure people go follow you over on Instagram.
Starting point is 01:10:26 You got millions of followers on Instagram. You've got a massive YouTube show as well. Where should we connect with you the most? Where are you the most? Is it YouTube, is it Instagram, is it? Instagram I use personally. I like that platform. YouTube is my main hub for the interviews.
Starting point is 01:10:43 Okay, cool. It's the same name, Anas. Anas Bukash. On YouTube and Instagram. We'll have that linked up, but check that out there. How else can we be of service to you today? How can you be of service to me? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:10:57 I just appreciate you, Louis, as a person. You're a good person. Thanks, brother. From what I feel. Thanks, brother. I can't x-ray you, Lewis, as a person. You're a good person. Thanks, brother. From what I feel. Nice, brother. I can't X-ray you, but I do feel that. And I'm happy for you.
Starting point is 01:11:13 And I'm happy when I see your partnership and I see how you're such a student, Lewis. I love that. You're curious. You want to learn. You want to be a better human. And I like people like that. Yeah, very similar. Yeah, we are.
Starting point is 01:11:29 So I don't want anything. I think your company's nice. And you're a good person, so it's nice to bug you. Good to see you, brother. I got two final questions for you. Tim. Before I ask, I wanna acknowledge you also for your evolution.
Starting point is 01:11:44 I think being a successful business entrepreneur, leader, you know, you have a massive following. I think you talking about, hey, I've lived a pretty good life but I've also been holding back in my heart in certain ways that could expand me emotionally and help me evolve as a human. I think it's powerful for people to hear because living in Dubai, you could have anything you wanted at any time. Whether it be girls or whether it be food
Starting point is 01:12:12 or opportunities like you can have at all it seems like. Which can be fun and tempting, but also is it always fulfilling? Is it gonna allow you to fully dive in and expand your inner world in that lifestyle. So you talking about this and you diving in with a therapist finally, I think it's a good thing. I acknowledge you for taking that on.
Starting point is 01:12:32 And I'm excited to see what you create with your heart moving forward. You deserve to feel the expansive love of feeling fully emotionally safe within a relationship. And I think you've reached that I feel like I have. in your personal life and I love that. I want to get married if I didn't feel that way.
Starting point is 01:12:51 At this age, I would just stay single forever unless I felt emotional safety. I learned something recently. A friend taught me this. She said, do you want to know if you're in a good relationship? It's when your nervous system is at ease around that person. Yeah, that's how I feel. And that's
Starting point is 01:13:12 why I'm telling you never said before. I've never had this much peace of mind. And I was talking to another friend recently about her relationship and her love life. And she was confused and all of them. I told her you want one way to measure if you're in a good serious relationship anybody can do this Watch how many times per week do you lose your peace of mind? If it's once a week, it's too expensive No, if it's once maybe a month once every two months, that's normal. We're human we argue we but if you're losing your peace of mind often There's something off.
Starting point is 01:13:46 Something's off. So I really believe that you... And the video that always tends to go viral is when I talk about... And probably you can relate now because it seems like you're in a good relationship. I say when a woman or a man is truly in love and feeling safe, they turn into a young child, a kid.
Starting point is 01:14:10 The girl, no matter how strong she is on the outside and how independent and a leader she is outside her home, she wants to come home and be a princess. The boy being tough and this decision maker and whatnot, he wants to come home and just be a little naughty, mischievous little boy and he can be silly with these girls. And you really, we all have to monitor which relationship made us feel that way. Because that's true vulnerability.
Starting point is 01:14:42 You're just, you're you. You can be silly sarcastic, you're not judged, you're not sh just, you're you. You could be cities are sarcastic. You're not judged, you're not shamed. You're not trying to be the specific image that they want you to be. Yeah. So bad relationships have a lot of shaming. You know, good relationships have celebration.
Starting point is 01:14:58 Harder to set. Yeah. That's beautiful, man. I want that for you. Final question, my man. What's your definition of greatness? Oh, that's your question every episode? Yours is how are you really, right?
Starting point is 01:15:12 How are you really doing, yeah. My definition of greatness. I think success is a very subjective thing. People think it's one. It's all money, cars, life, family, kids. People think success has one definition. It's very wrong. Because some person just loves to bake cakes in his small cafe, and he has his two kids, and he finishes, his that's his best success. That's his greatness. And we have no right to say, oh, that's not great. He should have a tower.
Starting point is 01:15:50 But he doesn't want a tower. He's okay with his small coffee shop. He's happy. So then we have to decide for each person that success is subjective. What is yours? What is yours? It's very different. For me, my only I don't know if it's a fear. I don't think it's a fear. It's a concern is I I'm not afraid of death but I always hope not to die before achieving a good level of my potential at least 80 percent then I can go. But I am I my greatness is that if I feel of course other than being blessed with my great family and my health and my country
Starting point is 01:16:28 and the life I've built for myself, other than that, I do want to elevate mindsets. That's my goal is to provoke thought, to make people consider, to make people think twice. Maybe they'll still disagree with me, but I made you think. I made you consider something else. And if I can do that and you can do that
Starting point is 01:16:46 and people can do that, we're elevating the next hundred years. Even after this little interview that we're doing and yours on mine and point 1%, you did something. You changed somebody's way of thinking. And imagine we multiply those kinds of conversations across years, we are elevating the next generation of our kids to have different ways of looking at life and hopefully a much better advantage than we did. So.
Starting point is 01:17:13 That's greatness. That's on that. Thank you, man. Appreciate it, bro. I hope you enjoyed today's episode and it inspired you on your journey towards greatness. Make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a full rundown of today's episode with all the important links. And if you want weekly exclusive bonus episodes with me personally, as well as ad free listening, then make sure to subscribe to our greatness plus channel exclusively on Apple Podcasts. Share this with a friend on social media and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts as well.
Starting point is 01:17:46 Let me know what you enjoyed about this episode in that review. I really love hearing feedback from you and it helps us figure out how we can support and serve you moving forward. And I wanna remind you if no one has told you lately that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter. And now it's time to go out there and do something great.

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