The School of Greatness - Inky Johnson’s 5 Powerful Mindset Strategies for Conquering Life's Challenges & Embracing Abundance EP 1483

Episode Date: August 12, 2023

Inky will be speaking at The Summit of Greatness this year! Don’t miss out! Buy your tickets today – summitofgreatness.com – Husband, father, collegiate athlete, entrepreneur and author, Inky Johnson is one of the most highly sought after speakers in the world. For over a decade, executives, professional sports teams, business owners and people all over have benefited from the raw energy of his thought provoking and inspirational presentations.Inky was a three year letterman and two year captain on the football team at The University of Tennessee, where he started as a cornerback. Unfortunately, on September 9th, 2006, he sustained a life threatening, career ending injury that paralyzed his right arm and hand. From that day to present day Inky has had a burning desire to use his situation and experiences to add value to peoples’ lives.In this episode you will learn,How not to take each day for granted.How to extract the positive from adversity.How your attitude can drive your performance.How to enjoy every aspect of life.How to manage all of the different emotions that come from painful experiences.For more information go to www.lewishowes.com/1483For more Greatness text PODCAST to [phone]Want more School of Greatness episodes like this one?Bruce Lipton on Manifestation: https://link.chtbl.com/1312-podJoe Dispenza on the Law of Attraction: https://link.chtbl.com/1312-pod

Calling all conscious achievers who are seeking more community and connection, I've got an invitation for you. Join me at this year's Summit of Greatness this September 7th through 9th in my hometown of Columbus, Ohio, to unleash your true greatness. This is the one time a year that I gather the greatness community together in person for a powerful, transformative weekend. People come from all over the world and you can expect to hear from inspiring speakers like Inky Johnson, Jaspreet Singh, Vanessa Van Edwards, Jen Sincero, and many more. You'll also be able to

dance your heart out to live music, get your body moving with group workouts, and connect with others at our evening socials. So if you're ready to learn, heal, and grow alongside other incredible individuals in the greatness community, then you can learn more at lewishouse.com slash summit 2023. Make sure to grab your ticket, invite your friends, and I'll see you there. I'll get to it tomorrow. I'm like, who promised you that? Right? I'll get to it a month from now I'm like who promised you that because life changes so quick

and as people we're often arrogant I was one of them we live our lives and we feel as if we're promised something but when you think about it it's like welcome to the school of greatness my name is Lewis Howes former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur

and each week we bring you an inspiring person or message greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin. Welcome to today's special episode. Over the last 1300 plus episodes, there have been so many impactful interviews that I've been lucky enough to have. And I always like to reflect on some of the most powerful. And this episode was one that resonated with most of you guys in the past. And I'm excited for the value it's going to bring you today as well. So I hope you enjoy today's episode. I want to bring your message to my audience. So for those that don't know, can you share a brief story about your background from athlete to, you know, breakdown to then breakthrough? And what actually you grew up believing and dreaming in, what happened, and then where you're at now?

Man, a kid that grew up inner city Atlanta. Man, a kid that grew up in the city of Atlanta, a mom at 16 had me, took me back to 125 Warren, two bedroom home, 14 people. And me and my cousins, man, we grew up sleeping on the floor, pallets, you know, best time of my life. You know, we loved it. Right. But like any other kid, man, I had a dream, you know, and I felt as if at the time football was the quickest vehicle to get me in a space in place to help my family, right? My mother's working a double shift at Wendy's, my grandmother's sweetest soul ever, rest in peace. She's transitioned, but I wanted to help my family. And I felt as if I had the tools and the skills to do that. And I had a lot of people in my life that helped me, man. And so I was, I was the first in my family a lot. I had the tools and the skills to do that. And I had a lot of people in my life that helped me,

man. And so I was the first in my family a lot. I was the first one to graduate and go to college. You know, I was the first one that looked as if I had something really promising that was about to happen. And so when I went to college, University of Tennessee, a full football scholarship, you know, everybody back where I was from, you know, thought like, hey, man, Lil Ink, he's about to be the guy. He's the ticket. He's about to make it. Like, that's our guy.

That's all they used to talk about. My family members, that's all they talked about. In church, all they talked about. My former high school, Creme High School, was one of the lowest performing public schools in the state of Georgia when I attended. Right. Atlanta public school system. And so everybody thought like, hey, man, this cat is about to really make it from where we come from. And I thought the same thing. Right. I went to make a routine tackle September 9th, 2006 against the University of Air Force and almost lost my life. And it ended my career and it paralyzed my right arm and hand. And it sent my life down a totally different path to which the world have come to know me as the inspirational speaker and a servant that I am today. But at one point, I thought it was going to be this guy in the NFL

playing ball until I retire. Dude, you and me both, man. Yeah, yeah. Until an injury ended mine as well. Yeah, man. So you had a routine tackle. You were playing DB, right? Yep, DB.

Defensive back, routine tackle. Do you remember exactly what happened? I do, man. What was it like? It was crazy enough. Was it on the left side, right side of the field? Was it a run? Was it a pass play? What was this? Yeah, man, it was on

the left side of the field. And it's crazy. I remember it vividly, man. We was in quarters coverage. You know, I was just backpedaling as a corner. Zone. Yeah, we had a quarter of the field. Zone, pretty much. And when I went to hit this guy, you know, it was almost like they were in a real wheel route.

You know, guy came out of the backfield, turning up. Five yards out, then coming up. Yeah, coming up the field. And, you know, I'm looking at the quarterback. He's tapping it, releases it to him. And I'm thinking I'm about to hit him, maybe make him fumble. We can end this thing, get ready for Florida the next week. Two minutes left.

And as soon as I hit him, it seemed as if, Louis, everything in my body left. Like one of the scariest moments of my life. And I had been in a lot harder collisions, but it seemed as if as soon as I hit him, everything in my body, every breath just left, right? I had never felt that before. It's like I lost total control over my body. I hit the ground and I black out. Never experienced that before. Right. And when I came to, it was very quick when I came to my teammates running over like, get up, let's go. and let's go. Nurse your injury after the game. I was like, I can't move.

And it was a shock. I'll never forget. It was going from the crown of my head to the bottom of my feet. I couldn't feel anything. All the way through the body? Yeah, all the way through.

It just kept going, kept going, kept going and then it left but it stayed in my right arm and hand. So left in your body where you could feel and you could move

your legs, you could move your arm but not the right side. Right. And it stayed there but I thought it was a stinger sure yeah we get I got a dead on yeah yeah dead on you get a stinger and it stays for a while then it leaves and so that's what I thought it was and so I still wasn't panicky right after it happened I was like yeah maybe a stinger you know maybe I broke my arm you know

cuz they brought the spine board out put me on it wheel me off the field because at that point you could stand up a little bit or you can move but yeah yeah I could I could move my body I just couldn't move my arm you know and so they were like we're going to take you to the hospital you know so then I thought you weren't too worried about it no no I wasn't I wasn't worried your body was you can move your neck here absolutely so I wasn't I wasn't worried they get me over they run you can move your neck here. Absolutely. So I wasn't worried. They get me over. They run their test. And they bring me back into a room.

And everything is still loose. You know, everything is loose. My mom comes in, kissing me on my forehead, cracks a joke. I think everything is all good. You'll be fine. It's football. And she goes to exit the room. And when she exits the room, I'll never forget she made a left.

When she made a left when she made the left i flipped my head back to the left when i flipped my head back to the left i saw the head doctor and he was running in and he was kind of you know screaming you know at an elevated tone and he was like guys guys get in here we got to rush this kid back to emergency surgery and he's about to die and i was thinking like it was like you or someone else talking about me. But I was thinking like everything was so calm and cool. I'm thinking he's joke like not joking, but like I'm thinking he's messing with me. Right. Because everything had been so calm. And so I was like, like, die, die, like away from me or die. It was like, yeah, I was like, what happened? And he was like, we ran the test.

We noticed you've ruptured your subclavian artery in your chest and you're bleeding internally. Oh. And he said, we got to rush you back and take the main vein out of your left leg and plug it into your chest in order to save your life. Holy cow. And he said, oh, I guarantee you, you won't be alive in the morning. You'll bleed out. And that's when I was like, oh, it's a real situation. It's a real situation. It's a real situation.

So you were fairly calm. Maybe you were frustrated that you got injured. You didn't get to finish the game. You're like, oh, this sucks. Hopefully I can get back next week or something, and they'll be able to tape me up and put up a bandage, and I'll get out there with one arm, and I'll be fine. You know how the boys think.

Of course, man. But then he was like, oh, no, we need to do the surgery now, or you may not last. Yeah, absolutely. Holy cow, that's a big shock. That was a shocker, man. But then he was like, oh no, we need to do the surgery now or you may not last. Yeah. Holy cow. That's a big shock. That was a shocker, man. So what, how much time from that moment until surgery? Oh, they took me back right then. Yeah. Put the gas mask in. Oh, they went, they went to work right then. Like five, 10 minutes. Oh yeah. It was real. They started doing whatever they had to do then. Like they had to do it right then. Yeah. Yeah. She was there,

but she was waiting out. Like they told her, but they had to take me back do then. Like they had to do it right then. Was your mom there? Yeah, yeah, she was there, but she was waiting out. Like they told her, but they had to take me back right then because they said it was already ruptured and I was already bleeding internally. Did she get to say anything before the surgery or no? I'm sure she said something, but at that point I was like,

Oh, what's going on? Yeah, I couldn't believe it. Like that's when everything got kind of concerning. Isn't it crazy? One moment can change the direction of your life. Oh, no question. One instant. No question, man.

One slight turn, one hit, one breath could change everything. Yeah, man. And I, you know, that's affected and impacted even the way that I live my life until this day. Just not only the injury, but it's so many parts of the injury that shaped my perspective until this day. I always say to people, because they say to me all the time, like, man, did you do anything different? Did you wear any different pads? Did you warm up different? Right.

And I'm like, no, man, I did the same thing. I listened to the same pregame music, like my song, Phil Collins. I can feel it. That's my joint. Come on. That's right. I'm like, man, I listen to the same song, wore the same pads. But for some reason, on September 9th, 2006,

on that day, the outcome of something that I did for most of my life was totally different, right? And so I always ask people and challenge people, like when you say something to the extent of, not you, but just a person, I'll get to it tomorrow. I'm like, who promised you that? Right. I'll get to it a month from now. I'm like, who promised you that? Right. Because light changes so quick. Right. And as people, we're often arrogant. I was one of them. We live our lives and we feel as if

we're promised something. Right. But when you think about it's like when we try to control things, but when you really think about the macro of life and the grand scheme of life, we really don't have any control, right? We can control what we possess, emotions, attitude, thought process, perspective, how we speak, how we respond, but just life in general, we have no control of that, right? You think about how many people woke up this morning thinking like, man, everything is going to be great and life change right one day you wake

up on top of the world next day you wake up world is on top of you right and so it's affected my mentality and my perspective just toward life how I greet people how I see people how I interact right just that one moment and one element of the injury right it's so many things that's happened inside of the injury that shaped and molded me as a person. People see the injury. People don't always think about the intricacies of how it shaped and molded and cultivated who I am as a man until this day. Yeah. So how long did it take for you when you had the surgery and woke up to get to a place of peace and finding a purpose or a new identity? Because I know what it's like to lose the identity of being an athlete. Absolutely. In a moment. I broke my right wrist and had surgery and had six months in the cast and tried to come back from it, but realized, oh, I couldn't straighten my arm for about a year and a half after the surgery and the cast. So it wasn't as devastating as you, obviously, of an injury.

But the injury and the surgery took me out of the thing I loved and the identity. And I was in a dark place for, I don't know, probably a year and a half trying to figure out who am I? You know, where's my value if I can't be this thing? Absolutely. And where I got all my acknowledgement and praise from this one thing that I can no longer do anymore. It's like, well, am I good enough for life? You know, what's the value I can bring and contribute to the world? So how long did it take for you from that surgery to what did they say when you woke up? What was that next step? I would say the total process took me a little bit over two years just to get to a real place of just peace, acceptance, and just trying to figure life out. You still didn't know your purpose or what you wanted to do,

but you're just like trying to recover. Absolutely. Maybe I can get the function back. Maybe I can do this. It's that bravado, man. You think that. I'm going to come back. Yeah, you're going to come back. That's the athlete's mentality. You think you can come back from anything. And so even, you know, when I woke up and they were telling me that your career is probably over,

your arm and hand will probably never be the same again, because the medical term for my injury is a brachial plexus avulsion. And I ruptured my subclavian artery. And so the brachial plexus is basically the nerve roots that come from our spine that control shoulder, arm, hand, fingers. And so what happened at the point of contact, the guy's helmet hit me between my shoulder and my neck. Sent my neck one way, shoulder opposite way. And it ruptured the nerves from my spine that control arm, hand, fingers, shoulder. And so I ruptured also my subclavian artery from just the speed and the impact.

And so when they were telling me this, I'm like, no way. Like I worked too hard, man. I've been working for this since I was a kid. And now I get to the point to where I could possibly get drafted, and now I lose it all? I'm like, hard, man. I've been working for this since I was a kid. And now I get to the point to where I could possibly get drafted. And now I lose it all. I'm like, no, man. And so I went back to the sandpit that week. Right. The next week I was in the sandpit with my teammates, with a Dunjoy sling and a Velcro strap with staples in my body from incisions from surgery. Right. I was back in the indoor complex running oh right

running yeah man with this false sense of hope thinking you're to come back yeah man i'm gonna come back like i'm a train i'm gonna come back thinking that like nah man it can't i can't lose it that quick like look i can't lose it that quick one little hit yeah like man i've been putting in years where i can't lose it that quick that was was my thought process. And so I didn't have peace at first because it was almost surreal. I remember going to sleep early, like every day, like 6 p.m., 7, right? Thinking that, man, when I wake up in the morning, I'll be able to feel my arm again. Really? Yeah.

Thinking that, man, like when I wake up, I'll be able to feel my arm. And I would wake up, man, and I would touch my arm, touch my hand. Like, man, I still can't feel it. Couldn't feel anything. No sensation. Couldn't feel nothing. Even like the skin, nothing. Couldn't feel anything.

Even in my back at the time. Like it was more places than the arm at first. It was like back, part of my pec. And so I would go to sleep early thinking it was a bad dream. I just couldn't come to grips with that I could just lose it like that, right? And so, man, I would wake up and touch that arm, like, and every day it would be like a period to where i would be like man i can't feel it but i'm gonna go to work out right i'm gonna go to the other arm yeah i'm gonna train to say i'm on a smith machine with one arm right lifting squatting thinking that i'll be able to make a

comeback man and i'll never forget i broke down on the turf in the indoor when reality set in like one day it set in and i i cried man i was in the indoor facility i was on the turf and i was like man i'll probably never get to play again like really and that day was it was tough on one end of the spectrum because it was like man the reality of i probably won't be able to play again but on the opposite end of the spectrum because it was like man the reality of i probably won't be able to play again but on opposite end of the spectrum it's weird it was a level of freedom right that okay man release it like get it out stop holding on to it yeah stop holding on to it just get it out man and so it was it was an interesting situation when that happened right like on one end up. I was crying I was hurt on the opposite end of it. It was a level of freedom like okay, man Now it's time to turn the page and that's really yeah

So how much longer was that was like a couple weeks a month after? Now that was when when I came to that that reality that was closing in on the two years that reality that was closing in on the two years. Two years later when you weren't moving on. Because two years was the timeframe that they gave me too, that if something is to happen, if something is to come back, you got like a two year, yeah. You got like two years, you know, if something is going to happen.

And so I'm in this two year window thinking like, oh man, I'm like, man, within two, I'm going to get stronger. I'm going to get sharper. My IQ is going to increase. It was all this thought process of just, I'm going to just come back this machine. Right. But also realizing I'm going through the two years and I'm going to doctor's visits. And now when I think back on it, I can see it. I see when I go into doctor's visits at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota, and they would have a new device and they would try it and think, man, this is the one, Inc. I remember seeing a doctor cry one day, right? Cry. Cry, man, because it didn't work. No way. And I had become like close with him, right? Because I'm going to see him like every other week.

Like we're cool now. Right. He's thinking, well, we're going to figure out a way. They want it to work, too. Not even for the sake of ball. I think they want me to have just some quality of life. Right. In terms of what my arm in my hand. And I'll never forget Dr. Walking out and he was crying and he said, man, we want it to work. And I was like man I do too but now thinking about that moment and what he must have been feeling at the time I'm totally just locked in right and so I'm just thinking like man like he's feeling what I'm feeling but

I'm still not thinking I won't be able to play but But now, removed from it, years later, I know exactly what he was feeling. He saw me every single day coming here with this false sense of hope. Like, man, this kid wanted to work. I wanted to work for him, but nah, it ain't going to work. Oh, man. And he felt it, right? But I still didn't catch it because I was so, man. So focused it's going to happen.

Yeah, but he knew. He knew far before I got to that point. He knew like, ah, man, I don't know when it's going to set in. But man, I don't know when he's going to get it. You know, I came to that point. Two years later. Yeah, I came to it. How do you let go of an identity that you once were that you can no longer be? Yeah, man. It's, um, that's a great question, man. And especially for us as athletes or former athletes, because we all tie. And I think everybody to a certain extent with what we do, because if you ask a person, hey, man, who are you?

They're going to tell you what they do. Yeah. Right. Because their identity most of the time is wrapped up in what they do. And so for athletes, it's heavy. Right. That identity crisis of, man, I play ball, I do this. Right. And so when you've got to transition into another period or sector in life, it's sometimes hard to understand because you don't always get that same feeling. And so when guys have to do it or when I had to do it, it was tough just trying to figure out what am I going to do, right? Because I've done this for so long and this was the thing that I thought was going to help my family. And so I'm big on service, right? Because a lot of people helped me and my family coming up and I'll never forget, man, I got to share this. I would go to Habitat for Humanity

because people would help me and my family coming up. And so I just love the looks that it will put on people's faces. When I was at Tennessee, they would always have a project for us to do. Whenever I would go, people would always say, hey man, what happened to your arm? Right? Because they would see the atrophy. This arm is naturally smaller than my left. And so I would just be like, oh, man, it's a football injury. And somebody would always be somebody there would be like, no, what happened? Right. Like I know your arm didn't get like that from just like what happened? I'd be like, just a tackle, man. I was making a tackle, hurt my arm.

They would keep pressing the issue. And I would answer questions. And when we would leave, somebody would always say, hey, man, you might need to speak. You might need to share that. I'd be like, no, I'm cool. Right. Because my mother raised me like from the standpoint and the perspective of, hey, man, life don't owe you a thing. Right. Like, OK, something happens to you. Pick up the pieces, move forward. And so I never thought of anything that happened, anything I went through with my family. Like as anything special, everybody got a story. That's how I view life. Everybody done been through something. Right. Everybody's going to encounter something. And so I never looked at speaking, sharing. I never was the guy like, oh man,

this happened to me. Let me go share with the world. I was like, nah, ain't figure it out. I pick up the pieces, move forward and figure it out. And so when people would say this, I'll be like, nah, I'm not trying to speak. Like I don't want to speak. Right. And one day I was in a small group because I was connected to community. That was one of the things I did intentionally when I got injured. I was like, man, I need community. I need to be connected to whether it's spiritually, whether it's life groups. I need to be connected. And it was a guy, shout out to my guy Gus, older guy, like in his 70s.

I got a couple restaurants, East Tennessee, had him in Atlanta, sold them, did really well in life. We're in a small group one night discussing some things. And he says, man, you're selfish. I was like, me? I'm like, no, man, I'm probably one of the most unselfish people you know. He was like, no, man, like, you're selfish. You think your injury and what happened to you is just about you. I was like, it happened to me.

He was like, no, but you're thinking it's just about you. I was like, it happened to me. He was like, no, Inc. It's like the things we go through in life, man, they're not just for us, right? Once we get to a place of peace and we figure out how to deal with it, it's our responsibility to go out and share that. It's like not before the world all the time, but just to share it. Because other people go through things, right?

Other people are fighting. Just go out and share it. And that was the first time I had got hit with something to where I pondered it, right? To where I was like, we'll make a nice point. Yeah. A good point. Make a nice point. Yeah.

Make a good point. And I was getting invitations to speak at the time. School assembly, you know, backyard stuff. Birthday party. And I got the feeling, Lewis. I got the same feeling that I was getting in the tunnel. And I was in Neyland. I got it.

I got it. Right? And I'll never forget when I got it. I felt it. Right. And I'll never forget when I got it. I felt it and I captured it. I was like, this might be it. And I spoke, did well, got home. And I'll never forget thinking like, man, like. I might need to look more into this. I might need to be more intentional about this. Right. Then I meet a guy in Westtown Mall in Knoxville, me and Eric Berry. Eric went first round, fifth pick to the Chiefs. We did a signing. Me and Eric walking. Eric splits off to go to his car. I'm walking. A gentleman

comes running through the mall, stops a couple of feet away from me, bawling, grown man, crying. And he says, thank you. I was like, no disrespect, sir. What are you thanking me for? He's like, I saw your story on the news. He said, I got a wife and I got three daughters. And he said, when I watched your story, you made humor about what happened to you. He said, I was about to leave my wife and my three daughters.

He said, I said, man, if that guy can hang in there, he can fight for what he's dealing with. Surely I can hang in there and I can fight for my wife and my three daughters. And he just walked off. Wow, that's powerful. And, bro, it made me realize that, like I always say to people, man, like when we go through things in life, the first thing we try to do is understand it. We want to know, why am I going through this? Why did this happen to me? I'm like, nah, man, some things you're going to go through is going to be so tough you're not going to understand it right away.

Just survive it. Right? And once we survive it, then we get to a place of peace. Hopefully we understand it. But then it's time to go out, share it, try to add value to certain environments we go into and certain people's lives. So shortly after that two years, I felt like I had survived it and I got to a place of peace to where it was like, all right, let's move forward.

That's powerful, man. I think for a lot of people listening, it's hard to understand why something has happened to them. Absolutely. Why did I go through this breakup? Why did I get fired from this thing? Why did I have this injury? Why did, is this happening in the world? Why are people fighting with each other?

Why? Absolutely. And it's not until we can get through it and reflect on it, then we have hindsight. Oh, this taught me this lesson, or here's why this needed to happen. And now I think about, if I look back at my life, I'm 39 now, and I think about all the challenging moments, I wouldn't change any of them. There's some things that seem so painful that I didn't want to experience. But the lesson that I learned from them, the person I became by overcoming them is so much more powerful than not having them. Wow. Right. Absolutely. That's how I feel. Strong. And so when challenging things happen,

which I don't like when they happen, but it's not fun, man. It's not fun. It doesn't feel good. It doesn't feel good. But when challenging things happen now, It's not fun. It doesn't feel good. It doesn't feel good. But when challenging things happen now, I feel like I can put myself in a place of peace for moments and say everything that has been hard in the past has all worked out. And it's taught me something or it's let go of something in my life, even if it's the worst thing ever seeming to me. And I'm grateful for them all. So let me look into the future and have hindsight in the future

and start realizing, I don't know why this is going to be powerful, but I'm going to give this meaning. It's going to help me or help someone else in the future because I'm learning this lesson. And that has given me peace in the chaos. Doesn't mean I like the chaos.

I'm not looking for it. I don't want it. Stay away from me. But I feel like that strategy is giving me a sense of like, okay, this eventually will pass, and hopefully I'll have some tools and knowledge based on that. That's good, man. Do you wish, do you ever think about it and wish you would have tackled differently, or are you grateful with everything that's happened the way it's happened? You know, to be honest, man, somebody comes up to me almost every week and say to me, like, be honest, man. You said you wouldn't change what happened to you. Like, be honest. Like, you said you wouldn't change what happened to you. Why? Right? Because for most people, when they

look at adversity and opposition, if a person goes through something that's traumatic, right, trauma, whatever the case may be, the average person's perspective is going to go to a space and place. What did you lose? How did it affect you? What did you have to sacrifice? What did you have to give up? People very rarely were asked the question, man, what did you learn from it? What did you gain? What did you gain? Right. How did it make you a better person? I know it didn't feel good. That's obvious. I know it hurt. Right. I know you didn't like it. It wasn't convenient, but like, what did you gain from it? I just want to know, right. From the loss, from the pain. Right. And so for me, it was such a traumatic experience to where I was searching for the good. It was so traumatic.

There is no good. It was so traumatic to where I'm like, all right, God, like, what's like, what is this, man? This hurts. Like, I don't like this. Like, why did this show up at this point in time? I remember being like, God, just let me make it to the NFL, get the contract, help my family. And then, like, we could go through something like, just let me help my mom, get the contract, help my family. And then like, we can go through something like, just let me help my mom, help my grandma, help my cousins. Like when I was a kid, man, I remember saying to my cousins, like, if I make it to the league, man, we can get our own beds one

day. Right. We just wanted our own beds. Right. Right. And so when it happened, I remember seeing certain things happen that it caught my attention, right? But I was so in the midst of what had happened to me that it just caught my attention. I think the beautiful thing about adversity and opposition, when you live with it, it teaches you, right? If you're open to it, right? When you live with challenges, it teaches you.

And so the reason that I wouldn't change what happened to me or go back and even change the incident is because of not only the man that has shaped and molded me into, but the way it's impacted those close to me, right? My mother and my father, their relationship was fractured majority of my life. Like I'm talking about. Were they living together or no? No, no. Like never. Right. And so they couldn't even. How many kids does your mom have?

My mom just got me and my sister. Yeah. Yeah. And so my dad, he's married and he has two daughters as well. But when they had me, they were teenagers. Right. And so my dad's trying to figure it out. Mom is trying.

Young, right? They don't have tools. No, not. They don't know how to connect with each other or communicate. None of that or deal with conflict. None of that, man. Act like a child. That's it. Act like a child, have a child. And so it created a lot of hurt, a lot of resentment on both ends. And so for me, when I started growing up, I had a level of resentment toward my father that I very rarely spoke about. And so I would speak to him and we would be cordial when we got to the point of communication.

For a long time, I resented him. And so my mother, my father could very rarely be in a room and it be peace. Right. Very rarely. When my injury happened, they had to be in a room. It had to be peace because it was a much bigger issue at hand. They didn't know if they were going to have to amputate my, they didn't know any of that.

Right. But fast forward a bit, what's happened not only in my life, but in my family's life, it's been phenomenal. Like my mother and my father can be in the same space and place in the same room. Wonderful grandparents. My father came and lived with me for 30 days after my injury under the same roof, helped take me to rehab for my arm, take me to class,

wash my clothes, like what it did for our relationship, what it did for my family's relationships, what it did for me and my buddies, my friends, right? Guys tying my shoes, our connection, what that produced, like it was phenomenal, right? Guys tying my shoes, our connection, what that produced. Like it was phenomenal, right? The way it shaped and molded my perspective in my life and how I treat people, right? Not that I was a bad person before because I wasn't. It's just the way that it shaped and molded my perspective

and how I view this thing called life every single day, right? Because of what you just spoke about. When you go through something, I asked a guy this, Louis, I was in St. Louis speaking, pandemic, one of my live trips during a pandemic. And I said, can somebody tell me something good that's happened as a result of the pandemic? Lady stands up. She says, my mother lives in Japan. I get to speak to her every single day. I know if I to her every single day.

I know if I was working the same schedule, I never would have got the opportunity to have those moments. Gentleman stands up in the back of the room. A man looked like he's supposed to have been in the movie 300. Traps up to his ear to my yoked up. Lewis Wright starts bawling. And he says, I'm thankful I got to watch my first child being born, crying. He said, I knew for a fact if I was working the same schedule, I never would have got the opportunity to witness that moment. He said, what's something you're thankful for, Inc.? I said, man, I'm thankful for 3 p.m. He said, why 3 p.m.? I said, man, I get to raise cats and be the first one in the carpool line, right? He was like, the carpool line? Really? I was like, yeah, the carpool line. I was like, but not the carpool line. He's like, what you mean by that? I said, the carpool line is extremely important. I get to pick my kids up from school

most days. Phenomenal. Love it, right? I said, but more than that, it's about, can I condition my mindset and my perspective that when uncertainty happens, opposition happens, adversity happens. I can put my mind, my perspective in a space in place to extract some good. Right. And so with adversity and opposition with my arm, I got a paralyzed right arm and hand. My perspective, my drive, my dedication, my commitment, my essence, my ethos, the thing that makes me ink. It never got paralyzed. That was just my identity in sport. That's what people knew me by in sport. But who I am as a man, that never got paralyzed.

I'm extremely grateful for that. My right arm and hand gets paralyzed. I get to go to disability services and learn how to write with my left arm. I get to try different things. I get to go up to the Mayo Clinic and my first visit there, I sit down and I come out of a room to where they had just shot four needles in my back, full of dye. I'm talking about biggest needles I've ever seen in my life. I sit down, I'm feeling sorry for myself. A little kid had to be 10 years old, sits down. I don't know what the condition was. A mother sits down on one side

of her. Father sits down on the opposite side of her. And it's like they're holding skin up on her face. And I was like, man, I just got an arm and a hand. But I got put in those environments and I got to see that. Extremely thankful and grateful. Most people don't get to see things like that on a daily basis. That conditions the mindset and the perspective to look for good in the midst of adversity, opposition or uncertainty. I tell people all the time, man, the easiest thing in the world to do is to be negative. So easy. Easiest thing in the world to do is complain.

Easiest thing in the world to do is to quit. That's easy. Me and you both can walk out of this building and see something on the streets of L.A. and say, man, that's whack and complain about it. Or we can look at it and say, you know what, man, that's really unfortunate. But if they did this, if they can change this about it, I think that can be a beautiful situation. Yeah, that's a gift and that's a talent that not everybody has. This is extremely underrated mmm extremely underrated yeah but it's extremely powerful when used in the right manner how did you learn to have the positive

perspective in the pain and in the trauma like was there someone helping you get out of that or did you just flip the switch into that mindset? Yeah, I would I would say part of how I grew up. When you go up in that two bedroom house with 14 people, you don't have a lot of choices in terms of what you're going to eat. You know, how much of it can you get? Like I remember watching my mother count change in an old Buick Regal, man. Never forget this. And she was counting up change. She had a few dollars in there.

And she was trying to get me a pair of cleats. Never forget it. Shaped and molded my perspective at practice, how I practice. Like if you ask any coach that ever had me on their team, I bet they'll be like, man, that cat used to practice hard because I remember moments like that. I remember as a kid, my uncles would stand on the corner all night, engaging in their illegal activity, come in the house, take the clothes off that they were on the corner in all night, win 2X t-shirt, put it on me. I'm 135 pounds. And I wear it to

school the next morning. I remember me and my cousins coming in there saying, hey, man, y'all just make sure y'all got a lot of t-shirts from the corner store and y'all just change out the jeans. Right. And so I might wear it one day. My other cousin will wear it the next day. Other cousin will just be shifting, you know, spinning it around. Right. It shaped my perspective. It made me extremely grateful. I remember Christmas Eve. We got our first pair of Nikes and somebody broke in our house and me and my cousin was going back and forth in the room like, man, I can't wait till we wear them Nikes. We're going to race like any other kids, like kids in the streets of L.A., Chicago, Florida, Atlanta. Like we used to race coming up, right?

You race with your boys coming up. We used to race light pole to light pole. We got our first pair of Nikes for Christmas. We're going room to room. You know what I'm saying? We just talking trash. Man, I can't wait. We're going to race tomorrow.

And I'll never forget when we walked in that room and they were gone. Oh, man. And you saw a cat had came through that window. Hurt, right? First pair of Nikes. Hurt, right? And I'll never forget. My mother called my coach my lowly coach man that put me in sports guy by the name of trey hersh and he showed up the next day and we were sitting on the curb and you know people outside with

whatever they had for christmas and he's sitting there and he drove up and he gets out of the truck and he says, Inc. I'm sorry man, you know I got the call late and he had like a little brown bag that you get from like a corner store and he was like but you know I was able to get some stuff man this is all I could do at the last minute and he had drawers and socks in the bag right and i was grateful that my guy showed up right more than what he had in the bag i was like my dude showed up and my guy still tries to get me drawers and socks till this day on christmas and i don't even need them right just my dude you know what i'm saying but it's moments like that that you remember that shape and mold you as a person as you go throughout life.

And I think we all have them. We all have these moments, whether it be humility moments, whether it be moments that keep us grounded. It's just we choose sometimes to forget them. But I feel like we all have those encounters that as we navigate and we go and we grow throughout life, it's those moments that keep us grounded, that makes us remember where we come from, that makes us remember how we've gotten to the points that people know us at, that we look back and we think and we reflect on to where we can say, all right, I got it. Right. And so it's those moments. What would you say was the biggest fear or insecurity that you overcame or needed to overcome since after those two years until now?

Was it learning how to do public speaking? Was it learning how to accept yourself and the way you looked? Was it connecting with your boys in a certain way or being perceived as someone who got injured? What was the fear or insecurity you had to overcome? Man, I would say it's layered, so I wanna touch on it. It was extremely difficult when I first started going out with my arm, it was extremely difficult, you know, because- Were you single at the time,

or did you have a girl at the time, or? No, me and my wife, you know, we've been on and off, you know, she's had more patience with me. Yeah, yeah, but at the time you were with her, or on and off with her? Yeah, yeah, on and off, you know. She's had more patience with me. Yeah, yeah. But at the time you were with her or on and off with her. Yeah, yeah, on and off. But she was always there, man. It was my immaturity. Sure.

But, you know, my arm, you know, it's just naturally, you know, smaller. And so when I first started going out, sleeve, and I would go out and either people would shy away, which would hurt, you know, in the early years, or a person would just look, right? Like, man, what is that? You know, and very few people would ask, right, when I started going out with my sleeve, very few people would say just in terms of if I'm out in the area. Like, if I'm at Habitat for Humanity, I'm there with the football team. So it's all good. People are gonna come over.

But if I'm out like solo, walking through the mall, very few people would just come up and be like, hey man, what happened? They would just look, right, and just stare. And that was extremely difficult for me for a long time. Right, just thinking about, okay man, like what a long time, right? Just thinking about, okay, man, like, what are they thinking? Right? Or it really hurt when people would just look and they would think I'm looking and they would shy away. Like that hurt, you know, early on. But I would say the

biggest thing that I've had to overcome, like public speaking, I was fearful of that. But the biggest thing, man, was running from poverty. You know, what I considered to be poverty, man, because I thought football was going to help my family. And so when I started speaking, I started doing extremely well. You know, I have been for a while with speaking to where I would just go. And I was just trying to accept gigs, gigs, gigs. Make as much as you can. I was just running, right?

Just trying to speak because I grew up a certain way. And I was like, man, I don't want my family to have to grow up the way I grew up, my kids, or go back to that environment. And I loved every element of it, right? I loved the encounters with the people. I loved the impact that it gives you. I was just running from my past. And I'll never forget, I was in a small group and a gentleman was walking around in a circle and he was like, what's something that, you know, you guys feel

like in your childhood you're still dealing with or you're running from? And, you know, everybody would raise their hand and say something. And he got to me and I was like, poverty. And he was like, are you in poverty? I was like, no. He was like, well, stop running. And his simplicity was yet profound, but it was simple, right? And I thought about it when I got to my room. And I'll never forget, Louis, I got a gig. And it was one of the biggest gigs I had gotten to date.

And they were about to pay me more money than I never gotten howdy I was 36 now I was probably 30 okay six years ago yeah about to pay your biggest check ever yeah biggest check ever and I was stoked and the challenge was it fell on my wife's birthday. Right? And so I'm like, man. And so, you know, you start working it out in your mind. Oh, man, my wife's birthday. I started talking.

You're going to negotiate with her. Oh, I'm negotiating. We do a birthday week before or week after. Like, I'm working it out. I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah. So when I bring it to her, I already done worked it out. Hey, babe, this gig, you know, like like I can send you and grandma to the spa. I can come back right after that.

We can work, I got it all figured out. Oh, I got it all figured out. And she could see how excited I was. So she was like, oh yeah, yeah, go, sure, go. And my wife, man, my wife been at it since fifth grade. So she knows me. Go. So I go and works works out do the gig

i send them to the spa fly back the same day pick her up everything goes great on the birthday two days later i think it was something about might have been some socks or something how something small wife blew up right she showed a side to me that I hadn't even seen yet. Right. And I knew exactly what it was. Like it clicked immediately. I was like, that was the gig. I was like, she's blowing up. Not because she's blowing up about the gig. She felt as if I value the opportunity, the engagement and the money over her and her birthday. That was the damage, right? Over the kids, over the family, over that moment, right? And so what I had to do was realize that, man,

you got renewable and you got non-renewable moments in life, right? Renewable, you can always make some more money, right? Non-renewable, my wife would never get another 30th birthday. My son would never have another 10th birthday. My son will never have another 10th birthday. My daughter never have another 11th birthday. Right. And so my biggest thing that I had to overcome and destroy and grow through was that spirit and that thought process of running from poverty. something I encountered as a kid. And once I got to a solid space as an adult, every next level of our lives demand a new version of us, right? Taking that toolkit, reconstructing it, growing to another level so I didn't do damage but having the right intentions while doing damage,

the right intention. I want my family to have a better way of life, but I'm doing damage with the right intention because I'm not growing beyond that level and that thought process. So how do you negotiate? What if you got a $100,000 gig on her birthday? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you just going to say, no, sorry, Nike, I can't come and speak.

She might be like, no, we good, go, go, right? We good. Yeah, but man, just trying to communicate. You know, that's a skill that I don't think as men we always get or cultivate, you know, so, but yeah, it worked out. Why do you think so many people hold on to their tragedies or traumas so intently in their present from something that happened two, five, 10, 20 years ago? Why do you think people hold on to it so long?

I think just the nature of the impact when it happens, right? And how it stuns their life, right? Like I had one of my friends who is a high-level coach, Division I coach that ended up getting fired. And great coach, man, just had a bad run bad couple of years and hit me up and was like hey ink man i need you to help me with something he said why am i resisting opportunities to get another head gig it's like i love ball like why am i resisting the opportunity why am i fearful I was like, I'm not saying this is for certain, but I think for one, maybe the embarrassment of being fired and how that made you feel, how that impacted your children, how that impacted your family.

Because I think painful experiences, they always come with a lot of different emotions. Right. Like me talking about going out. It was hard for me with my arm when people would look at me. Right. That was a bit embarrassing at first. Right. And so sometimes we hold on to these different emotions that attach to the experiences that we have. So I think you got the experience and then you got the collateral damage of the experience. How it affects our mindset, how it affects the way we see people, how it affects our emotions. our mindset, how it affects the way we see people, how it affects our emotions. And I think sometimes it's challenging to separate the two and deconstruct the two. And so therefore we hold on to the feelings that the trauma may have given us, right? The feelings that the adversity and opposition may have given us. And so I think the moment that we can grow through it and figure out a way to use it, I think the quicker we get through it, because I think it's a powerful thing, Lewis. And I think you

probably know this to be true. When we use what happens to us and it creates a light bulb moment for another person, that's a great feeling. It's like when you get something for yourself for Christmas, that's awesome. It feels great. But when you do something for another person that you know is in need, like that feels 10 times better for some reason. And so I take adversity and opposition and I, I interconnected the same way. Yeah. When we go through things that hurts or we figure out a way to get through it. But when we share something and we identify with another person to let them know that, because oftentimes when people go through stuff you feel alone you feel isolated and you feel like man like there's something wrong with me and I think what happens when we go through and we create a level of empathy we show them that no man you're human like we all go through things like nobody is perfect like I told a guy that had

a brachial plexus injury he's like man I see how you got through it like it hasn't been that easy for me i was like no bro it took work it took years like this was painful i went through every emotion that you're probably going through and i had a lot of people to help me with them and so i feel like sometimes it's just the feelings that are attached and interconnected to the experiences that we have that creates the reason that we hold on to it for so long. Yeah. Right. And I think the quicker we can get through and use what we go through, the quicker we can go out and we can make the world a better place. Absolutely, man. Yeah. Where do you think you'd be in a different place? I think I'll be in a different place,

much more reserved. Really? Yeah, much more reserved because just the nature of my personality, you know, I speak and people see me speak. But to be honest, I'm an introvert by nature that's why it was so hard for me to do it but I know for a fact if I had to play ball if God would have blessed me to go to the NFL play for a few years play for a few years I'd have just faded to black man I'd have helped the people near and dear to me probably like they would have knew me but I wouldn't have been out in front of the world sharing or traveling. It just wasn't my personality. Like just to be able to go out and share, that took work for me, to be in front of a crowd.

And so I know for a fact if I had to play ball, and I think about that often, if I had to play ball, went out, got a couple contracts, did well, I'd probably just sit on the porch every day. You know, I'd be be doing work take my kids to school be involved in local community stuff but i never would have discovered some of the gifts that now i know i possess like i'm being completely honest with you bro i never thought i would speak like ever they put me in public speaking in college. I dropped the class on the second day.

Yeah, terrifying. Never, never like, and so for me, this is extremely humbling for me. Like to speak, to go out and share, it's the thing that I feel like honest, like I could do forever, right? The interactions never get old to me because I wasn't the guy that was saying, man, I want to go speak. I want to go share. Right. I never thought I could speak.

When I got to college, they were putting me in public speaking because they couldn't understand most of the words I was saying from where I was from. You know what I'm saying? And so I never thought. And so for me to understand and know that my life was being guided by a force and by a source that was a lot greater than me. It's extremely humbling to know that there was a plan in place, even when my plan didn't work. That was extremely humbling for me. And so when a father comes up and says, hey, man, like I saw this story, it helped me hang in there with my family. man, like I saw this story. It helped me hang in there with my family. Like I take that to heart when a kid comes up and it's like, man, I watched that before the games. I'm like, man, that's amazing. Right. That can never get to the point in my life to where I'm like, oh, they're just saying that because I never imagined. I never thought I never knew I had this gift. Right. I never thought I never knew I had this gift. Right. And so for me, man, I think I thank God that this happened.

And for some people, it's hard to understand and look at it that way because it helped me discover things about myself that I never knew. What would you say the three biggest lessons you've learned from the trauma you've experienced? I guess lessons you've learned from the trauma you've experienced. Patience, empathy, and always being willing to extend the level of grace to others, but also to yourself. Did you beat yourself up for a long time? I wouldn't say beat myself up,

but I definitely thought about like, man, like, why did it happen? You know what I'm saying? Like, just going down that rabbit hole of searching,

like, what is this? Like, why did this happen? And then when I released that, and it was like, all right, man, just survive it. Stop trying to understand it. Survive it. This did happen. I can't go back.

I can't change it. So you got to accept it. Got to accept it. Get through the pain and the emotions and then find meaning from it. Absolutely. Is that the process? That was the process, bro.

Is that what you would suggest to anyone if they go through a devastating divorce or some type of heartache or injury and they're questioning, why did this happen? I've been following the rules and I've been a good person and living a good life. And why did this thing happen to me? What would you say? Sometimes you got to stop focusing and thinking about what could have happened and what should have happened. And you got to live in what is happening, right? Because I always say to him, stop trying to understand it and focus on surviving it. Because the quicker you can survive it, the quicker you can use it, the quicker you can extract a lesson from it, the quicker you can glean perspective from it. And for all of us, we're

going to encounter those defining moments in our lives, right? To where it's going to hurt, us we're gonna encounter those defining moments in our lives right to where it's gonna hurt right you went through it i went through it i remember i said to somebody like man it felt like i was in a boxing match and i just got killed life just knocked me out bro and i'm on the mat trying to find my mouthpiece right i'm like spitting out blood I see him over there counting right I'm looking at my guy in the corner he want to throw in the towel I'm like not yet and I find the strength to muster up to get myself up be like all right let's go I'm ready now I never forget that person saying you know what life is so cold-blooded you're gonna get knocked out like that again and again and again. So the challenge is, will you learn the lessons from it

so the lessons doesn't have to keep getting repeated and you keep having to learn it? Right. So when you go through these things of opposition, adversity, and challenge, it's always a lesson, it's always a blessing. It's up to us to extract it. And if we're so concerned with trying to understand why why why we're gonna miss the lesson right we're gonna miss the blessing and

the lesson is gonna keep repeating itself i know that from right repeating uh certain relationships over and over again we all got got things like that man it. It's like, I got two kids. I always try to teach them, like, one of our big things is attitude drives performance, right? Attitude drives performance. I say to them all the time, when you get negative and you get frustrated, what does it do to your performance? Like it goes bad. It just gets bigger and bigger. Negative and negative. I'm like, exactly. And so when it doesn't turn out the way you want it to turn out and you get negative, the lesson is just going to repeat itself until you graduate. Right. Until you learn how to set up, celebrate the pain, celebrate my son. Sometimes he'll come out, go five for five. Right. Might get two home runs. Right. Other times you'll come out, go over five. Right. When you 0 for 5, are you going to start huffing and puffing and then you got to get the lesson repeated again? Or are you going to learn at a certain point to say, all right, man, it's baseball. It happens. So what? Clap it up, cheer on your teammate and say, you know what?

Today, I'm not getting it done on the offensive side. Defense, I got you. Right. Sometimes I'm not getting it done on this side. I got you. And so that's the key to life. I think sometimes when things don't go our way, the quote says it. You judge the true character and caliber of a person, not by where they stand in times of comfort and convenience. You judge the true character and caliber of a person by where they stand in times of challenge and controversy. Right. It's an incredible thing. and character can be cultivated in the midst of opposition and adversity. That's the reason it says it. It's King's quote. It doesn't say you judge character by how a person responds when everything is going good. They know how you're

going to respond. Celebrate, hand clap, great, hippie parade. But when things go wrong, things don't go the way you want them to. They don't go the way you want them to. They don't unfold the way you want them to. Who are you? Because that's the true test of who you are as a person. That's your true character. That's the essence and the ethos of who you are as a person. Everybody is going to smile when the sun's shining, man. But the song says it. Can you stand the rain, baby? It says it. And so in light, can you stand the rain baby it says it yeah and so in light can you stand the rain that's the true tester character love the uh love remember the titan the titans oh that's one of my favorite movies man i think i was in college when that came out that's one of my

favorite movies and we all watched the you know we all watch it the night a Game. Oh, that's the joint. That's one of my favorite movies. Attitude, Reflect, Leadership, Captain. That's where it's at. How real is that, though? That's real, man. That's true, man. That's real. And you know the crazy thing, Lou, is like attitude is a small thing that we often underestimate, but we really can control that.

Absolutely. Dude, when I bring someone on our team, we've got 20 people on our team now. Nice. And when I bring people on, obviously we look for skill set and experience and all these different things, make sure they have certain skills.

But I tell people over and over again, they're probably sick of me saying it, that the things I care about the most is your attitude, your energy, and your effort. Because we can teach you a lot of the things that you need to know. We can get you a consultant we can hire. We can get you a course. We can get you whatever to learn than a skill better. We can get coached up on a skill. It's hard to get coached up on attitude, energy, and effort. It's got to come from within. You've got to make a decision and a skill. It's hard to get coached up on attitude, energy, and effort. It's got to come from within.

You've got to make a decision and a choice. I'm going to have a positive attitude. I'm going to have an attitude of gratitude or appreciation or whatever it might be in this moment, even when it's not going my way. Absolutely. Even when things are going off in my life or I just feel sluggish, can I shift my attitude? Can I have a different energy? And can I give effort? Yeah.

You know, you appreciate the guy who maybe isn't that skilled on basketball or football, but he's always diving for the ball. You're just like, man, he's doing what I wish I was doing this. You know, he's making me look bad. That's the man. The hustler that's just like, he doesn't have the height or the speed or the strength, but he's willing to hustle and fight. Right. And I think it's the attitude, the energy and the effort you put into your relationship, your, your career, your, your health, which will dictate the quality of your life in a big way. But if we have negative attitude, negative energy and negative effort,

you can't expect great things to happen to you. Absolutely. Absolutely. That's good. Attitude is everything. I don't think it's a small thing. I think it is the thing. Absolutely. That's good. That's good. I think, what did Lombardi say, his quote, if you're not fired up with enthusiasm, you'll be fired with enthusiasm. Yeah, that's strong. I think that's the quote. That's strong.

Right? It's like if you don't have an attitude of enthusiasm in what you're doing, even when it's painful, try to be enthusiastic, and you'll make it a more enjoyable experience. That's strong. You know? That's strong. I love it. Those three days. I don't know if you ever did three days, but we did those.

I think it might have stopped when you were in high school. Yeah, yeah. We just was at two. Just two days. Yeah, we was at two. have stopped when you were in high school. Yeah, we just was at two. Just two a days. Yeah, we was at two. Because a couple kids died in high school. It was like my senior year, 2001, a couple kids in the country died of heat exhaustion.

So we used to do three a days, and then they cut it back to two because of that. But I remember thinking, and we had a military coach in high school. Yeah. And it was like no water break. It was like, you just push through,

you're just doing burpees for hours. You know, everything, you'd fumble the ball and everyone's running a mile, whatever it is. And then back in there and it was painful,

man. But I just remember thinking, this is only going to last two hours, you know, or three hours. Yeah. Can I get through this? You know,

and try to have a positive attitude in this timeframe. Then I can rest, you know. I and try to have a positive attitude in this time frame then i can rest you know i'm gonna ask you something just listening to you do you do you think mental toughness is a skill or what's your thoughts i think you gotta develop i think you gotta develop it yeah i think it's trained i think it's something you develop for sure i don't think many people have it like as as a kid, you've got to develop it. Absolutely. And sports has been the way that I know to develop it. I know musicians develop it as

well in a big way because they practice and they're dedicated to a craft. But I think it's, I don't think you're just born with mental toughness. I think certain things happen that cause you to have to step up. Bingo. Right. There's some type of adversity or you're't have the connection with your parents the way you wanted or you're picked on and bullied and you have to endure. Bingo. You either endure or you just fall behind. Bingo.

I think that enduring energy coupled with the emotions behind it keep you going. Absolutely. So I was driven mostly to prove people wrong as a kid because I was picked on, right? And I was going through some stress at home. And so I was just trying to prove everyone wrong in my life, and I was willing to do whatever it took to prove the people who made fun of me wrong.

And so I developed mental toughness in a negative sense, which made me more angry and reactive when things didn't go my way in sports. It would drive me to be the best I could be, but I was a really sore loser. And I was, you know, you hit me, I just wanted to hit you back. You know, I didn't respond well.

Yeah, get that lick back. And so I had to learn the lesson so many times until I was like, okay, I need to be better than the situation I need to rise above it I can't react to everything because then I'm on the bench no doubt so you get on the bench enough

you get kicked out of the game enough you're like oh I can't play done so I had to learn how to manage the emotions at some extent yeah

but that was a that was a challenging thing man but when we want something bad enough I think you're willing to be mentally tough absolutely you have to be

absolutely but if you don't want it bad enough then you're you're willing to be mentally tough. Absolutely. You have to be. Absolutely. But if you don't want it bad enough, then you're, eh, I don't care about it. You don't have a meaning attached to the thing you want. And I was so committed to accomplishments to get accepted and to be praised by others because I wasn't accepted and praised by others. And I would go years, a decade, to accomplish my goal in sports. And when I would accomplish all these big goals,

I wasn't happy still. That's because I was trying to get acceptance from others, but I didn't accept myself. So it wasn't until I shifted it, when I said I'm doing this because I want to be in service of others through my art, my expression, my inspiration, and I'm doing it because I purely love what I'm creating, what I'm doing.

And I accept myself. Then I started to actually enjoy the process. It's good. It wasn't about winning. It was about the process. That's good. That's good. And I think it's hard for us to truly love what we do until we fully accept who we are.

Yeah. It's really hard. Yeah. It's really hard. Yeah. That's good. It's hard to love what we do until we fully accept who we are. That's strong. I think so, man. That's strong.

We can enjoy the things we're doing, but if we don't accept who we are, then we're doing it from a place of lack. We're doing it from a place of unwholeness. If we don't accept who we are, then we're not whole. And so we're giving it an energy that is not a true, pure love. It's like I'm doing something I enjoy, but for

what reason? To make myself whole? To prove to others? To impress other people? We should just be doing it from a whole-centered place. That's good. That's my thought. I love that, man. I love that.

What do you think is the... I love that. What is the biggest struggle you're facing with now? Is it, you know, you're a parent, you're a father of two kids. They're about to be teenagers. It's about to be a whole new world. You know, you've been doing your speaking career for 15 years now, essentially, you know, 12 to 15 years.

Yeah. What is the biggest challenge you face today? The biggest challenge I face now, you know, and I really don't look at it like, you know how it is. As athletes, we thrive off challenges, right? Like, we thrive off challenges, right? Like you thrive off of it. But, you know, I would say, man, fatherhood is really pull the element and the side out of me that, you know, has really served me well. Right. Because we're blessed with two beautiful kids, 11 year old daughter, 10 year old son, totally different in terms of how they view life, how they approach life and how they do things. Of course, my son is like my wife.

It's total opposite. My daughter is like me. Right. And so some of the tactics early on that I would try to use with my son, it wouldn't work. And my wife is phenomenal. My wife, you know, at one point in her life, she was an educator, teacher, love kids. Right. And so communicating with kids for her comes second nature. You know, I'm more like a coach. Yeah, yeah. Let's go, right? And so I leaned on her a lot and she would share things with me. Like I remember my daughter, man, I had this moment, it broke my heart, man, but it broke my heart, but it created extreme revelation. Like it was a light bulb moment, but it hurt me as a father.

Like when my daughter was probably, say, eight. And, you know, I would have this mentality, you know, whenever they would do something great, you know, I was the guy that would see it, you know, and be like, man, that was great. That was cool. But if you do this, it would help you get that. If was great that was cool but if you do this it would help you get that if you did that it'd help you get this right I was that dude because that was the way I was wired and how I looked at things coming up you know just in sports and life because I was that type of person and I'll never forget my daughter came out one day at the school sitting in the carpool. She comes out. She has like a test grade.

And she had like a, maybe like an 89. And she gets in the car. And she was like, Dad, I got an 89 on my test. She was like, you probably don't think it's that good, but I'm really proud of myself. Like I worked really hard. I gave it everything I had right and I was like and I became that guy like I make my kids feel like nothing is ever good enough and I remember talking to my wife that night and I shared with her what Jada said.

And I was like, man, that really hurt me. Like, as a father, that hurt, bro. Like, I get emotional about it. That hurt me. You know what I'm saying? Because I never wanted my kids or want my kids to ever feel like, I don't care if you do your best and you get a C. ever feel like I don't care if you do your best and you get a C like as your father I got your back and I'm gonna love you and I'm gonna be proud of you regardless like I'm gonna ride with you regardless I'm your dude you know what I'm saying and I was like man that really hurt me that I made

her feel that way that she had to say like dad Dad, you might not think this is much, but I'm really proud of myself. Right. And my wife says something to me and she said, you know, sometimes we can be so focused on who a person can become that we forget to acknowledge who they are and where they are. She's like, sometimes we just got to acknowledge who they are and where they are. She's like, sometimes we just got to acknowledge who they are and where they are. Make an 89 and they gave their best at it. Hey, man, great job. Sometimes they're going to have a 95. Sometimes they're going to have a 104, right? But as their father, it's my job to always be supportive, to always be empathetic, to

always be understanding. Of course be empathetic, to always be understanding. Of course, correction comes, accountability comes. But at the end of the day, they should always know that I'm going to be loving, I'm going to be understanding. And if you do your best and you say that's your best effort, that's enough. That's big, yeah. I can live with that. Effort, that's enough. That's big, yeah.

I can live with that. One of the things, I think that's beautiful, and one of the things I learned from Kobe when I interviewed him, he said something similar. Like for one season, when he was like 12, either 11, 12, or 13, he played basketball for like a summer league. He didn't score one point the whole time, like the whole summer. All the games, he said he didn't score one point. I go, really?

And he goes, yeah. And I went and talked to my father, and the reason I knew it was okay is because my dad said that he was going to love me whether I score all the points or no points. So it gave him permission to even go harder because he was like, I'm going to still feel loved. No doubt.

Even if I fail or don't score or don't do the thing. And he said it was a very powerful experience for him to not score and not succeed and still be loved. That's strong, man.

So I think it's a, you know, it's a good reminder for us. And I think it could go another way where it's like, hey, you can do whatever you want

and I still love you. And they're like, okay, I'll just sit around on the couch. So you got to have some like the drive also inside of you. But, you know, you got to manage that somehow. Oh, no question.

No one to push the buttons. Oh, no question, man. No question. You got to know your people too, right? Exactly. You got to know them. He was driven also to keep winning, you know, to keep learning. Absolutely.

You got to know your people, man. What's the biggest lesson being married has taught you since going through this adversity, really together and then kind of rising in your career and your kind of celebrity and your personal brand. How has that worked in your marriage? It's made me realize that my job is not to change my wife. My job is to love my wife unconditionally, you know, because we all involve ourselves, whether it be relationships in terms of personal marriage or relationships in terms of people, friends, you know, compadres, whatever the case may be. Like when I was early in my marriage, you know, me and my wife,

I'm sure I did things that got on her nerves, right? I would be speaking in the mirror when I'm trying to learn how to speak, right? Doing certain things. And she did certain things that I was like, man, like I'm not feeling that. Right. And so I had a cousin, right? He got married young. It was, I'm talking about young. i'm to my right when he graduated high school his joke was married i've been married for years wow right and so i called him one day and i'm complaining to him right and he's been married for a while i'm complaining man yeah she does this then she does this and i'm really not feeling that he listened and he was like um you know you do stuff that get on her nerves too right right i was like yeah yeah but man it's bothering he was like, you know, you do stuff that get on her nerves, too. Right. Right.

I was like, yeah, yeah. But man, it's bother. He's like, man, listen, he's like, your job is not to change your wife. Your job is to love your wife for who she is. Like she got delivered to you. Like your job is to love her. Right. And it was a period in my life because of certain things that I may didn't agree with. And there were certain things she didn't agree with me that I thought I was supposed to present them to her. And she was supposed to change him. Because for most of us, when it comes to love, I feel like we love the version of people that suits us. Right. We love the version of them that suits us. We don't always love them unconditionally, like who they are unapologetically, who they're not. We don't always love people like that. We love the version of them that suits us and makes us feel well

about ourselves. And so for me, in terms of my growth and my marriage, like I love my wife, right? Because she not only holds me accountable, right? But she, she makes me better. And we've been rocking since fifth grade. And so if don else on the planet Earth knows me, she knows me. Right. She knows when I'm not feeling something. She knows when my energy is off. She knows when I'm having a tough time. She could just sense it. And so for me, it's been my growth and my challenge in terms of just trying to be a better man, because I look at it like this. Because if I get toward the latter years in my life, man, and I journal, like I journal to my wife, I journal to both of my kids and I journal to myself. I got four journals that I write in

every single day, right. That I haven't presented to them yet. Wow. Right. But I just write in them every single day to where I write down why I make decisions, choices, why I do certain things. And the reason I do that is because, you know, when my time comes, right, and God forbid something happens, whatever happens, and, you know, people come up to people, right, kids, spouse, whatever the case may be. They say, man, let me tell you about your father. Let me tell you about your father. Let me tell you about your husband. Right. And, you know, I would like to think that my kids and my wife, they're going to listen because of the type of people they are.

But I also want them to have something that they can refer back to like a life guide. They can say, man, I know exactly who my dad is. I live with him every single day. But also he left me this, right, that explains our values, our morals, our principles, why he did certain things, why he lived by certain things, right, why he made me do certain things, right? Because if I get toward the latter years of my life and, you know, somebody comes up to him and say, man, he was a great athlete. That could be cool. And that's all they talk about. I fail as a man, as a father, as a person. And so I want my wife and my children to always know, like, no, that's a real dude.

That's our guy. That's not a public success. But behind closed doors, he's a private failure. No, that's our guy. Like, he is who he is. And so I work just as hard at being a husband and a father than I do at anything else in my life. That's beautiful to hear, man. My dad just passed in February a few months ago.

Yeah, I'm sorry to hear that. Thanks, man. And it was kind of a sad thing because he had a uh a brain injury he got a car accident 17 years ago so he was in a coma for three months after his accident then he woke up and he was never the same you know he had this brain trauma a car hit him on top of the forehead through his car and he just he had to learn how to read how to write how to talk again how to do it function as a human so it's like he was a five-year-old again almost in an adult body and so emotionally I wasn't able to connect with him the same way eventually he was able to communicate and you

could have normal conversations but certain things were off where you know he would forget a lot he you know so it was the same conversation. Every time I saw him, it was kind of like, hey, where'd you go to play? You play football in college, right? And he came to every game, right? So he's asking, where'd you go to school again? And so we could communicate, but it wasn't all functional. So for 17 years, I didn't get to have that relationship with him, right?

He was there, but it wasn't the same. But he wrote letters that I still have today from when I was 15. And I kept those letters, and I get to see the way he thought, the way he loved, the way he learned. And those are very meaningful to me, those letters, to have that. Because for 17 years, I didn't get anything from him. I didn't get letters. I didn't get a phone call because he just wasn't there mentally, right?

So it wasn't his fault. He was just the brain trauma. But those letters are very meaningful. And so the reason you're doing that, I think it's really powerful just for you and going to be for them. Another thing, we had his funeral here in February and All of his old friends came out who I hadn't seen in a long time and they got to share stories about who he was back then Beyond, you know 17 years ago when we kind of remember him before the accident

It was beautiful that they came out and said, this is the man your father really was. And here's how he showed up for me. And this is the type of character he had in the community. And it was really touching and emotional for me to meet these older men and women who were talking about him that way. Because for 17 years, it was so hard because it was kind of like we lost the man who once was but those memories didn't die with them the impact didn't die the connection didn't die and so i'm really glad you're doing that for your wife and for your kids man man that's the first time i've heard somebody say that they've had something like that yeah that's strong man yeah

that's strong it was beautiful it made it really meaningful during a time that I couldn't find meaning within 17 years. Wow. It was like, why did this accident happen without when I felt like I needed him the most? You know what I mean? When I got injured in my injury and stopped playing right after his injury, and I didn't have him to lean on anymore. So it became this like challenge, but to hear those stories and to have those letters was a beautiful part of the journey for me. So I'm

glad you're doing that, man. That's strong. I'm really glad you're doing that. If you could only, let's hypothetical, this isn't going to happen, but say hypothetical scenario, you, you don't get to give those journals to them and you only get to share one message with your kids. What would you say to them? And they could hold on to this message forever, but it can only be one message. What would that message be? Enjoy every aspect of life.

Enjoy every aspect of life and don't waste any experience. Because I feel like for most of us, we enjoy the good parts, right? And for most of us, most days are good days, right? But we often waste experiences that don't show up or turn out the way that we want them to. And I feel like that's a big mistake because in those experiences are some of the greatest lessons and the greatest opportunities to shape and mold us into beautiful people. Right. And so when I say enjoy every aspect of life, enjoy everything.

Ups, downs, successes, failures, highs, lows, like everything. Right. Because in the end, it's the culmination of all of that that shapes Lewis. It's the culmination of all of that that shapes Lewis. It's the culmination of all of that that shapes Inc. It's the culmination of all of that that will shape who they will become. And so enjoy all of it. Don't waste any of it, man. On the days where it's great, hit Pip Ray. Celebrate it. Days when it's not, celebrate it. It might be hard, but celebrate it. Like enjoy it, right? Tough times don't last always. Tough people do.

We hear it all the time, but everything passes with time, right? And so I just tell them, enjoy every aspect of life and don't waste experiences. A couple of years ago, I looked up, I was curious to figure out how many people die every day. And I just Googled it and it said on average 150,000 people die every day in the world, just for whatever, every cause. And every time I think of maybe I'm going through something sad or a challenging moment, I think 150,000 people didn't wake up today, and I did.

Just for that reason alone, it's a beautiful day. Absolutely. And I think any way we can find perspective is powerful. It doesn't mean we shouldn't feel our feelings and we grieve and go through sadness and cry and all these things. Don't stuff these feelings. want to stay in those feelings forever because they hold us back from service from being there for our loved ones our friends our family our team our community and our creator and it's like what can we do with the tools and the skills that our creator has given us to be of service to the next person absolutely whether it's hundreds of people millions of people or one person absolutely focusing on that like you said it's the greatest gift when we give it to someone else, not when we

buy something for ourselves. Yeah, man. And use that with your tools and your story as well. If you could only share one thing with your wife and she didn't get your journal, what's the thing you'd say to her? The thing I would say to my wife, this is funny, man,

because this past anniversary, man, because this past, this past anniversary, our anniversary was in April and she had to be- How many years? We were around 11 and she had to be, she had to be in Orlando with my daughter at a cheer competition. You should have said, oh, it's our anniversary, where you at?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was with my son. And so I sent her a little text and a little message. And I was like, I'm there. I'm there. She was like, you're not here. Like, you're all in Atlanta. So I was like, no, I'm there.

I'm always there. Like, no matter where you go, I'm going to always be there. Right? A piece of me will always be with you. And a piece of you will always be with me. Right? Because of who we are and how we've grown throughout life we've been together since we were kids like talking ten years old like been at it for a long time and so the one thing

that um my wife lost both her parents when she was young like elementary school she lost both of them so she was raised by her grandmother. And I always felt like my wife was a gift to me, right? Because when my wife, you know, even when we was young, I felt like God delivered my wife to me, like as a gift. That's beautiful. Right? Her spirit, right? What she had been through in life, the hurt she had endured. And so I felt like it was always my job to protect her

heart, to protect her. She was being raised by a grandmother, grandmother, elderly lady. And so for me with my wife, I always want her to know that you got this, babe. Like I always tell her, you got this. And what you got this is, is everything. You got this, right? As a parent, you got this right as a parent you got this right if there's ever a time when i'm not there me and my son was in a pretty bad accident last year flipped over wow like yeah man yeah like flipped over by the grace of god we both made it out i had a little scratch on my arm like car flipped car flipped damn thought it was about to flip off the ramp. Was this icy or snowy or something? Rain and storm.

Dang. And we both made it out. That's scary. Yeah, it was scary, man. And we got out of the car. I'm getting in the car with my wife. And the whole car is just crying. But she was like pouring, like, man, I almost lost y'all.

Right? And it was a tough moment. Car is just crying, but she was like pouring, like, man, I almost lost y'all. Right. And it was a tough moment. But I remember like just thinking that night, like, man, have I prepared my wife? Like if there was ever a time to where she had to move forward without me. And so for me, my message to her is always, babe, you got this. Right. It's preparation. You got it. Right. And so for me, that would to her is always, babe, you got this. Right? It's preparation. You got it.

Right? And so for me, that would be my message to my girl. Like, if there's ever a time when I'm not present and, Lord forbid, something happens to me, you got this. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. It's like that word we hear when we're young from a coach or a parent, that belief that injects belief in us. Right? Like, hey, Lewis, man, you got this.

When you're young, you try to figure it out and you remember it, right? Or, hey, Inc., man, you got this, man. I'm telling you, you know I'm a smaller guy, right? And you remember those things, man. It's the simple things in life that people don't think always makes a big difference, that when a person gets alone or a person really needs something, like, that they can rely on to get through adversity opposition or just a rough patch you

remember things like that you remembered them letters your father absolutely man you know like you remembered that and so just sometimes simple words so amen you got it you know remember the Titans. Remember the Titans. I got a couple final questions for you, but I want people to follow you. InkyJohnson.com. Yes, sir. Inky Johnson on social media. Inky Johnson Motivate on Instagram as well.

Is that where you spend the most time, Instagram? Yeah, yeah. I be on IG and Twitter, man. You know, every day I jump on Twitter and IG, but yeah. Nice. We'll make sure to follow you over there. And if anyone listening or watching wants an incredible speaker at one of your events, then make sure to go to inkyjohnson.com and send you an email and see if he's available.

He's an in-demand guy. You know, you never know when he's available. So make sure you schedule it a year in advance. Get the discount for next year. That's right. Get it in advance now. You know what I mean? School of greatness.

That's it. You know what I'm saying? That's right. That's it, man. Anything else we can do to support you besides following you online and checking out your stuff? Yeah. You know, and I don't want to say this in, like, a cheesy way. But, like, you know, we always look at the world, all of us.

Right. And when something happens, right, like you see the mass shootings that happen or whatever the case may be. And we all see things that happen in the world, man. And our heart hurts. You know what I'm saying? Whether you see and we can't control it. You know what I'm saying? Things happen sometimes. It's just out of our control. And you always think about like, man, what can I do? It's just something I can do and just go out, man, and just be a good person. Man, I get don't cost nothing to go out and offer kind word to a person every day. It don't cost nothing to go do a random act of kindness.

It don't cost nothing to go out and random act of kindness. It don't cost nothing to go out and just share a word of encouragement to somebody. Every day, just doing our part to make the world a better place. It doesn't take anything grand. It doesn't take anything special. Just go out every

single day and do our part. And just watch the triple effect of that when we go out and we serve you know what i'm saying and so just make the world a better place be a kind human being that's it man don't cost a thing it doesn't you know what i'm saying just go out and be a good person this question is called the three truths so imagine hypothetical it's your last day on earth many years away you get to live as long as you want to live 100 200 however long you want to live but eventually you gotta turn the lights off all right and you got to go to the next place you get to accomplish all your dreams yeah live your life

see your kids grow up all these different things but for whatever reason you got to take all of your message with you got this interview is gone anything you create online is gone books anything you create gone that's the journals are gone your family doesn't have the journals all the other things another hypothetical right but you get to leave behind three lessons to the whole world three things you know to be true from your existence and that's it what would you share your three truths? My three truths would be the first one. This too shall pass. Whatever you encounter, whatever you go through. And I say this obviously referring to tough moments. Right. This too shall pass. Right. Every storm has an expiration date. Every storm runs out of rain.

This too shall pass would be the first one. Learn the art of patience. Right. Be patient. In the midst of good times and bad times, learn the art of patience. Patience will reveal certain things to you about situations, circumstances in yourself that you didn't know exist. And always be willing to be empathetic, right? For most of us, right, when things happen, we have sympathy for people, right? Like, oh man, that's really unfortunate. What happened to that person?

We have sympathy. I think the power of empathy is when somebody goes through something or somebody is dealing with something, empathy says, hey, Lou, I'm with you, bro. You got it. I'm going to walk with you, man. Call me if you need me.

That's empathy. Sympathy is, man, you see what Lou is going through? It's tough. I hope he gets through it. Empathy is, hey, bro, I'd be willing to walk through the fire with you if you need it. Yeah. Right? Be empathetic.

Inky, I'm so grateful we got to connect right now. I hope we do a lot more stuff in the future and hang in the future, man. I want to acknowledge you for your courage. It takes a lot of courage to overcome what you've come from, the pain, the trauma, the identity loss to transition it into something for good. I think a lot of people hold on to their pain so much and it becomes their identity moving forward. You used it, you let go of an old identity and you're using a new identity for good as opposed to holding on to the pain. So I really acknowledge you for expressing your talents and your gifts with the world in the way that was scary to do.

You didn't think you were going to speak. You had to overcome that fear to even get this skill out there. So I acknowledge you for all the things you've gone through and most of all for being a great father, man. I think that's the most beautiful part is hearing your story as a father, which I'm sure you make mistakes. Absolutely. A ton of them. But stepping up for your kids and being a great husband is what makes an impact on communities. Thank you, man. So for you showing up in that way, man, I acknowledge you for that. Appreciate you.

Can I say something to you, man? Sure, brother. I think as men and as people, we don't say this enough to each other, but I'm proud of you, bro. Thanks, man. Proud of you. Appreciate you, man. Absolutely. From one brother to another, man. Every day, one step at a I'm proud of you, bro. Thanks, man. Proud of you. Appreciate you, man. Absolutely.

From one brother to another, man. Every day, one step at a time. That's it, bro. That's it. One step at a time, man. Thank you, brother. Final question, what's your definition of greatness? My definition of greatness is, I heard Kobe say something great, and I know you asked

mine, but I got to say this. He said every single day I was pursuing greatness, even though I knew I would probably never catch it. Just the fact that I was willing to pursue it, I would defeat most of my opponents because they would never pursue something that didn't have any guarantees attached to it. So when I think greatness, I think about having the courage to pursue it. greatness, I think about having the courage to pursue it because most people won't even pursue greatness because they feel as if it's something that's so far fetched that they'll never attain it. I feel true greatness is having the courage to just involve yourself in the pursuit, the process of trying to be your greatest self, right? Self-mastery is the constant pursuit. So being willing to show up every single day and constantly pursue greatness

of trying to be our best selves. Yes, sir. Thank you, Johnson. My man. Appreciate you, brother. My brother. I hope today's episode inspired you on your journey towards greatness.

Make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a rundown of today's show with all the important links. And if you want weekly exclusive bonus episodes with me, as well as ad-free listening experience, make sure to subscribe to our Greatness Plus channel on Apple Podcast. If you enjoyed this, please share it with a friend over on social media or text a friend.

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