The School of Greatness - Jon Bon Jovi REVEALS His Only REGRET & Life Lessons as a 24-year-old ROCKSTAR

Episode Date: April 29, 2024

Today, Lewis sits down with the legendary Jon Bon Jovi to peel back the curtains on what truly separates success from greatness. Jon opens up about the precise moment he felt he touched greatness with his music and how he kept his eyes on the horizon in his twenties, always believing his best work was yet to come. He shares the personal tactics that helped keep his band united through the storms of fame, including the pivotal role of therapy in enhancing communication. Jon also gets personal about the challenges of running his own management company, sustaining a loving marriage amid the rockstar lifestyle, and the importance of relational and emotional intelligence in his success. Beyond his professional life, Jon reflects on the evolution of his voice, the lessons learned from fatherhood, and offers a lyric that deeply resonates with his current chapter in life.Watch Jon’s new documentary series, Thank You, Goodnight – The Bon Jovi Story on Hulu.In this episode you will learnThe fundamental differences between success and true greatness.Strategies for maintaining long-term professional relationships and group dynamics in high-stress environments.Insights into managing a successful career while nurturing a healthy personal life.Jon's approach to adapting, growing and improving over time as one of the greatest frontmen in rock and roll history.The profound life lessons Jon has gained through his journey as a husband, father and a veteran musician.For more information go to www.lewishowes.com/1608For more Greatness text PODCAST to [phone]More SOG episodes we think you’ll love:Rick Rubin – https://link.chtbl.com/1536-podRhonda Byrne – https://link.chtbl.com/1525-podJohn Maxwell – https://link.chtbl.com/1501-pod

The industry said, you're out of your mind. You're a dead man walking. You're the biggest band in the world right now. You can't fire. You're a big shot manager. Give me a good reason why. The word on the street was, this is career suicide. But the band trusted me, and we did it.

I did it. One of the most famous names in rock and roll. Has sold over 130 million albums. Please welcome Jon Bon Jovi. Bon Jovi. Welcome, Bon Jovi. Yes, Bon Jovi. Welcome, Bon Jovi. You brought in a mediator, a therapist, a coach, someone to kind of like say, hey, tell everyone how you feel.

Oh, it wasn't easy. Nobody was receptive to it. I was receptive to it. The guys fought it. And then after a couple of sessions of it, we committed to it. Wow. I can absolutely positively guarantee you,

you will never see me giving 50%. That's out of the question. Don't think for a moment that Richie and David and Tico didn't give everything they had. They gave everything they had too. Everyone's always looking over the shoulder and they've got that, who's the bigger guy in the room? I gave that up so long ago.

I give a about it. And I have very few regrets in my career. One of my few regrets. Welcome back, everyone, to the School of Greatness. Very excited about our guest. We have the legendary Jon Bon Jovi in the house. Good to see you, sir. Thank you, brother. Thank you so much for being here, my fellow Pisces.

Yeah. Arena football lover and so many other things uh you have this incredible docu-series that's out right now as as people are watching this and there's so much about it that i didn't realize about you as a human being and your heart and your vision i think everyone sees the accolades, the success, the platinum records that you've sold and the four-decade career of hit after hit. But what they really get to watch when they watch this series

is your incredible vision for making all this happen and manifesting this into your life and building and creating it for decade after decade and your beautiful heart so i want to acknowledge you for your heart because i feel like that love and that passion is what allowed this to come to fruition this life you've created and the impact that you've had with your music around the world my fiance she's she's Mexican, and I told her I was having you on today, and she was almost in tears because she said when she was a teenager,

she bought a CD of yours, and it was one of the first music that she heard where she started to learn English. Oh. It was because of your music. Right. So you make impact on so many people's lives in so many different ways that you're not even aware of.

Correct. So I want to acknowledge you for that, John. And there was a moment in, I can't remember if it was episode one or two, because I got to watch the whole thing, where you talk about success and greatness. I don't know if you remember this, but you mention about success and you mention greatness in almost the same sentence. And you give a definition kind of what they both are for you since this is the school of greatness i would love for you to talk about what the difference is between success and greatness for you well i honestly can't remember the instance in the film especially because it's been filmed over the last couple of years but i guess my reaction to it would be this

filmed over the last couple of years. But I guess my reaction to it would be this. Anyone can have success. You can write a jingle that becomes a hit song. And for five minutes, that's called success, and it's fleeting. Or you can strive for greatness which means you got to do it again and again and again and again and again and again and you have to work hard um because it just doesn't happen you know greatness is something to strive for, and it is given to nobody.

Even the most gifted of musician or athlete or business leader has to work at it in order to strive to achieve greatness. That's my opinion. Yeah. When did you feel like you were able to reach greatness in That's my opinion. Yeah. Do you feel like, when did you feel like you were able to reach greatness in your musical career? I don't know that

I ever felt that way. Really? I think that that's sort of that chip on your shoulder that keeps you going. I do think that I've gotten quite good at it. I think that given

the opportunity physically, I can do it with the best of them at this point but um i think it with every song with every song let alone for every album it's can i do it again can i do it again can i do it again how can i do it better um i don't think you ever think you've achieved greatness it's just striving did you ever feel like've achieved greatness. It's just striving. Did you ever feel like when, I think it was the third album you guys had

that went like kind of 14 times platinum or whatever it did, it was like all over the world. It was one of the biggest selling records ever, yeah. Slippery When Wet, yeah. Was that the biggest ever of all time? No, no, no. I mean, for us it was,

but it was thriller. It was like a virgin. It was born in the USA. It was one of those. It was huge. It was massive and it was, it was thriller. It was like a virgin. It was born in the USA. It was, it was one of those. It was huge. It was massive. And it was everywhere. When you have that big of a hit at that young of an age, I think you were like 24, 25 or somewhere around there. or accomplishments of almost every other artist. How do you come with the mind of, this isn't my best work and I can keep, you know, reaching this type of success? Or do you think maybe my best work is behind me?

No. At 25? No, no, no, no, no, no. Absolutely not. If anything, I didn't, my only regret, and I have very few regrets in my career. One of my few regrets is that I didn't take a little more time just to enjoy it because you could have, should have taken the time to really enjoy it.

I think that part of the journey of life is that in your 20s when you've got, A, that chip on your shoulder and there's all kinds of new surprises around every bend. Um, you, you don't really sure how to navigate this journey. You look to mentors and, you know, in some form or another to, to sort of guide you and they do the best they can, but it doesn't mean that they had the answers either anyhow you're on this journey um and all we could think of at least all i could think of was i gotta do this again i gotta make sure that nobody thinks that was a fluke that we can we can do this again we

can do it again after that so it was nose to the grind and a year after the slippery tour concluded um and it was 240 shows and massive success for the band we were back on the road with the album new jersey which had five more top 10 singles, and another 240, 250 shows. One year later, just back to back, just went right back in the ring. You know, there's one part of the docuseries where the band, I think you guys were together for, I don't know, five years in a row, it seems like, with very little time off. And there's this beautiful journey that you guys created,

this incredible family and these incredible relationships and brotherhood and team mentality, but then too much of a good thing can turn into a bad thing is kind of what you guys talk about in this series. How did you not allow too much tension to actually break this band apart after so many years of success when there was just more frustration and resentment and egos, how did you keep it together emotionally, mentally, spiritually, physically, when everyone's got more money than they can think of now, when everyone's got more fame and success and their egos are at an all-time high, how did you keep it together? Well, everyone has their own unique perspective and everyone's the hero of their own show right so i'm sure anyone in the band or the organization will have told you their point of view and it may differ from mine

but having been the leader namesake whatever you want to call me um i'd always had a certain vision and asked others to follow their opinions and their input was very welcomed. But obviously somebody had to be the quarterback. And so I treated this like a team. And I was the quarterback, but I knew I couldn't play without a receiver in the line, okay? So I wasn't ego-driven.

ego driven but I had to have a plan stick to the plan and sink or swim make the decision so when I did see that the burnout

was happening after those two back to back records and this was our first foray into that kind of territory. Because it has happened to me other times in my career. In this instance, there was a moment in time where I would, in retrospect, blame agents, managers, lawyers, because they were supposed to be the mentors

that said, we believe in you, take your time, get it right. And they allowed us to keep going to the point of burnout. What I wouldn't allow was it to fall apart because I knew better than to think, wait a minute, nobody physically harmed each other. Nobody stole money. Nobody sold a girlfriend. Nobody was dead. Nobody was, you know, car crashed. Like, this was burnout. So you go back to team. You go back to, you know, what is it that got us here collectively? Let everybody go out and gather their thoughts, get new information, bring it back to the fold, which in turn could make us stronger. And I really, by that point, went out on a limb

because at that point I'd fired the managers, agents, and lawyers and said to the guys, I've got this vision. I believe it still works. And not only do I need you guys to come along, but I'm doing it without the rest of the apparatus now. And they put their faith in that. And there's three things that I've gotten to learn about you through this series that's really inspired me that I feel like you innovated and you led the way with in terms of anyone that I'm aware of in kind of the music industry at this high of a level. And I'm going to share these three things. One is during that time where I guess the band

was kind of in a lot of friction, at least from the story of the documentary you brought in, as a mediator, a therapist, a coach, someone to kind of like say, hey, tell everyone how you feel. Let's open up all of the emotions, the frustrations, the pains, the joys, and share it all. And this was what, 20, 30 years ago or something like that?

30 years ago. 30 years ago when this wasn't a popular thing to do. 35 years ago. That was, like, looked down upon 30 years ago. But you said, I'm going to have the courage to say, we need to bring a coach, an expert, a mediator, a therapist to come in and let everyone express themselves. Would you say that really helped bringing people back together? Oh, yeah. And boy, was it resistance.

Really? Oh, yeah. You know, I'd heard about these therapies, especially in alcoholism and mental illness, you know, and where you go to rehab, or, you know, you're dealing with issues. But like I said, we didn't have those issues we had naivete and youth and this rocket ship to success that was confusing because we went being from being the children of

our parents to the parents of our parents and the parents of we were now these CEOs. We were now these decision makers. We were now these money makers. We were the gravy train. Life changed for everybody in the organization. In your 20s. In my 20s. And that's me being, I don't know, I don't want to say a visionary, but a different thinker.

I thought differently. I just always thought differently. The way I got a record deal. Nobody gets a record deal the way I got a record deal. I wouldn't knock down a DJ's booth. Right now, we think that there's millions of people who are going to watch this interview, which is nothing but ego. But in truth, it just could be you and I, Lewis.

And nobody may ever see this or hear this, right? And we don't know. The loneliest man in the music business was a DJ talking to no one, preaching the gospel of music. And I said, that man loves music more than anyone I know. I'm going to go knock on his window and play him a song. It was the same kind of visions I've had throughout the process here, where I said,

self-management. The industry said, you're out of your mind. You're a dead man walking. You're the biggest band in the world right now. You can't fire. You're a big shot manager. I said, why? And I wasn't being egomaniac. I said, why? Give me a good reason why.

There wasn't a good reason why and from 1991 to 2016 it's a lot of commission checks I didn't pay anyone you know but the band trusted me and we did it I did it I built Bon Jovi Manning that's the second thing that I was going to talk about. But the therapist, Lou Cox, he come in and he had nothing to win or lose. He wasn't on anyone's salaries. He wasn't on the payroll. He wasn't even in the music business. Wow. What was the one thing that he taught you through that experience about mediation, therapy, communication?

Well, a little silly, you know, elevator bumper stickers like, you know, everyone's the star of their own show. It's five different opinions in this story. It's five different points of view. But it was about listening in order to learn. It was about, you know, giving the floor to others when necessary. It was about being a shoulder to lean on when somebody needed that shoulder to lean on. There was a lot of that.

There was no... It was all based in truths. It was looking into someone's eye and saying I love you and meaning it wow you know understanding what the words meant not just oh we're performing on the stage together hey dude I was never a dude we weren't dude I wasn't interested in that I was interested in cutting to a deeper place. You know, our music got lumped into a genre of music because of when we came up and the kind of stuff,

you know, that I was 21 and 25. I looked like every kid in the mall. That's the way the kids looked in the mall. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we were thrust into that, but that's not who I was. It was just, we were thrust into that but that's not who i was it was just we were put into that but you were i mean again this is the thing that surprises me you're in this is what the late 80s early 90s right mid 80s mid 86 87 but when the therapy oh that's 90 yeah 90 91 yeah 90 91 yeah it's what five to seven of you guys in a room together yeah and you're talking about love and you're talking about your emotions and you're talking i love you and you're looking

at each other's eyes you're being vulnerable when i grew up in the 80s and 90s you weren't allowed to do that stuff so i'm saying you innovated this ability to like how how are all of you able to be so receptive to connect openly lovingly vulnerably oh it wasn't easy nobody was receptive to it i was receptive to it the guys fought it and then after a couple of sessions of it they you know had their uh private time with lou and then it would come back into group and then you know and and and we committed to it wow we committed to it how many sessions you guys all do i don't know together in it let's just put it this way over the course of time that started in 90 and i was talking to lou you know a year ago

so we still you know i i would still touch base with that's incredible over time yeah we needed them anytime how important was it for you to tap into your relationship skills and your emotional skills you know over your singing and songwriting skills in order to be successful in order to be successful as a group and as a band? I just looked at it like a family is always gonna have its issues. A team is always gonna have their issues. But having been a sports fan, I could see the inner workings of a team and think,

I could see that the ego is prohibiting them from winning championships and that a family can't get away from each other you know because of blood but they could for they could have nothing more than a common last name so there had to be a way to take the strength of a name and the strength of a team and take the best of those things and, and maximize them. So, you know, if it's based in truth, you can get over ego. Wow. It worked for me. That's incredible. And it sounds like if you didn't allow, if everyone didn't join in that process, you guys want to be where you are. Well, somebody could have quit easily. Yeah.

It sure would have been easier way for somebody to but nobody ever quit the band until richie you know in 2013 but that's much later right um but no no everybody was committed it's incredible man so man. That's cool. So I love, you know, one of three things that I really think you innovated. The second thing you mentioned it. 1990, you're 29, you're 30 years old. And you say, okay, everyone in the music industry has a manager or has agents and all these different things. I'm going to do it differently. Yeah.

You hear about that now of like independent artists and starting their own thing and launching their music through the internet. But in 1990, like that never happened so you really innovated and led this way for artists 30 years before they started doing it what was the biggest challenge you had to overcome in starting your own management company navigating the landscape of ticketing and venues and commissioning. What happened was we let go of the old agent and got a new one. So it wasn't that I didn't have one. We got a different one. The manager, God bless him, we're still friendly, but he said it was about him. We went, no, it's definitely not about you.

And then you have to think, what does he bring that is so unique and granted in that first chapter of my career i learned a lot and it was great but when it was time to move on i was glad that it was time to move on. And it was season. And the word on the street was, this is career suicide. But I had an incredible representative, and I use that word endearingly, it was way more than a lawyer. He was the godfather to my daughter. He was my father and my best friend

and my brother all rolled into one. He never ever took advantage of me. He taught me everything I know about business. Wow. And he's passed. He had frontal lobe dementia. He's passed about seven, eight, nine years ago now. There's a huge black hole in my life

because he's not in it any longer. But he's what made me learn everything that I know now. And in turn, also made me realize we didn't need all that glitz and glamour. You know, we had an amazing right hand in a guy named Paul Corzelius who was doing the day-to-day in the office.

Jerry was doing all the paperwork, and I was making all the decisions. We could do this. And we did it in a big way. We had the biggest tour in the world three times in that period. I had six number one albums. I had six number ones. It had you know six number one so he was like it's like crushing it yeah it's incredible but how did you have the courage to do that when

no one else had done i had met with a half a dozen managers i remember at the time what did you know like meeting with managers again and going through that process and and just not clicking with any of them there was none of them that moved me. And I needed somebody that was going to dedicate their life to this the way that we dedicated our lives to it. And I wasn't getting that. Wow. So I just, why do it ourselves?

Wow. It's beautiful. The third thing that I feel like you've really innovated in this industry of, you know, music and rock star and fame and all these different things is you got married, you know, at the peak. I think you're in your late 20s, right? 28, 29, when you got married to a high school sweetheart. Yeah. And for me, I don't know how you're on the road constantly with that much fame, that much success, that much money, that much options, let's say, and you're able to enter a marriage and have what looks like on the outside a healthy relationship for decades. 35 years. That's incredible.

So I feel like you've innovated this in a space where- No, I can't take that credit. Well, I feel like not many people- It's fewer and far between. Bono's married as long. Bruce is married almost as long. Very few. How were you able to have a healthy, successful, thriving marriage and relationship while all the other ego stuff and fame and just travel and success?

That one was easy. That didn't take a genius. We grew together wow we went to high school together yeah so we came through this whole roller coaster ride together so no matter my highs or my lows she's seen them wow and that that was integral she didn't meet me at the pinnacle of my successes or the you know the low points in my career and picked me up out of a gutter somewhere so we we grew up in the same hometown with the same kind of values, same kind of family background, middle-class upbringing.

She saw you doing cover band stuff back in high school. You know what I mean? So that one, I just was, thank God, fortunate enough to get right the first time. And, and, and, and we held on, you know, it wasn't, we never really had any kind of difficulty. Really? It's been 35 years. What do you think is the key? And I'm not sure if anyone asked you about relationship or marriage, you know, advice ever.

But what would you say are the three keys to having a long-term successful relationship while thriving at the top of your career as well i don't know i mean the relationship thing like i said is mutual respect okay admiration and mutual respect is at the is at the top of this for me to be a good listener no it's not all about me it's about we you know it's it's about both of us it's about all of us. It's about all of us. It's about the, the, the family dynamic. So of course I'm always going to be the, you know, the narcissist lead singer in the house, but there, there's no platinum records hanging in my house. You know what I mean? Like we left that long, long, long time ago in our, in our, in our home. Um, so admiration, mutual admiration, society being a good listener, growing together.

You know, just finding her in a way that like, I get excited in the morning when I see her. Every single day. 35 years later. I get excited. Every single day. What's the thing you love about her the most?

That she absolutely knows that she loves me. Like with all of her heart. Wow. You know, I mean, there's just, there's no question. There's no doubt. There's not even a glimmer of doubt. There's not even a hint of a glimmer of doubt that this is it. There is no, that's it.

Wow. Yeah. I got this is it. There is no, that's it. Wow. Yeah, I got this one right. When you're coming off stage in front of 80,000 people and you're the man and you're selling out the biggest tour in history back to back and people are screaming every word and chanting your name and then you go home and someone's upset at you or they want you to listen to them. How do you get over your ego of being Jon Bon Jovi and saying, I want to be a great partner? It might take a minute to walk it off, you know, when you're on the road for a long time.

Especially in those younger years when we would be on the road so long that you could carry the lifestyle home. Yeah. But I haven't even seen that guy in a long time. Wow. So it's of no interest to me to even see that guy. It really isn't. Boy, I'm really trying to be honest with you because even if it was 10 or 15 years ago when we were just still, you know, a little more wild, and I don't mean this like we're subdued now,

but just in a little more ego-driven way. Even that wasn't a big deal. Really? Yeah. Where did you learn that, though? Did your parents teach you this? I think it's our upbringing. It's who we are,

where we come from, what we did. I was never a big drug guy. I was never the big drinking guy. I was never the big... You know, one thing we learned on this journey... We're doing this interview right now

in Los Angeles, California. I had a house out here for years on the beach in Malibu with all the beautiful people. And the first thing after owning that house for four or five years was, we got to sell this house. Why?

We got to get the hell out of here. This is not conducive to a great relationship and a great life and a great career and a great grounded who we are what we are where we come from wow and i it was the same thing when we went home and wrote slippery and wet it was like we are being lumped in with these kind of bands that it's not

our thing and i was just like i said i don't want to be a part of this scene. This is not who we are. It's not who I am. I don't give a fuck. Right? Go back home. Take that picture in the inner sleeve in our driveway. You know, in our cars.

You know, with blue jeans and t-shirts on. And sell that Malibu house. And you come out here and everyone's always looking over the shoulder. And they've got that, who's the bigger guy in the room who can I go and work who can I get something from I gave that shit up so long ago I give a about it I'm not impressed you know I don't give off it's just that that that shallow will ruin you And I know grown men who still are playing that game. Wow. You know, and it's just sad. Yeah.

And shallow. What do you wish everyone knew about money, fame, and success? Money doesn't make you smart. It just makes you rich. Doesn't make you happy? Does not make you happy. Now, can it pay for the bills so you can get the doctor and the insurance and those things? It solves some problems, but absolutely does not make you happy, and it doesn't make you smart.

It just makes you wealthy. What do you wish people knew about fame and accomplishments? Accomplishments are all fabulous, especially if you worked hard for them. And, you know, you have a, you deserve the opportunity to, to accept the accolade in and of the moment and enjoy it. And then, you know, then you, you move on from it and don't measure who and what you are based on any kind of championship ring. Right. That's not your identity. It is not who you are.

It's just what you do. And I, too, I live by that credo. It's not who I am. It's just what I do. you um but i've met many a billionaire who they're not smart because you know they're just they're missing out on the on the good things in life you know and on on on being a part of their community on on touching the lives of their their wives and their children on on sleeping on their pillow at night and knowing that they did something good instead of for a buck yeah and what do you wish people knew about fame

it's really an interesting question to ask at this juncture right it's 2024 and i remember having a conversation with my kids maybe 10 12 15 years ago and i'm telling me about that the internet and ways to make money and i would say but you got to write a song to make money you have to learn how to act if you you know we're talking about i'm like a skill set you know referencing the art we have to be an athlete and put in the 10,000 hours. I've been proven wrong, obviously, now, right? There's a whole world of people making a buck, and that is very confusing for me and my generation. It's very confusing for me and my generation.

We were told that we could go to the moon because President Kennedy told us we could, but we had to go to school to learn how to do the science to get to the moon. We didn't just, you know, snap our fingers and get lucky on the Internet one day. So it's a very confusing time. But I don't I don't think anything is a substitute for hard work and dedication and commitment. And, you know, not every day you're going to win, but every day is an opportunity to participate in the process and measure your progress. Well, you won a lot, though, consistently, which was pretty impressive.

Yeah, it's all good. More than I've lost. You've been winning, yeah. More than I've lost. Championship after championship. And again, we're talking about Thank You, Good Night, the Bon Jovi story, which is on Hulu at the time of watching this. And I'm curious about, you know, you put in a lot of reps. Speaking of 10,000 hours, when you were a kid,

you were doing cover band stuff in Jersey. And there's an amazing scene of Bruce Springsteen coming up on stage while you were singing his song and him singing it with you. And I can only imagine the electricity and the excitement in your body as a 16, 17-year-old seeing someone who is bigger than you on stage who is singing with you. And you talk about you could almost touch it. You're explaining like how you could almost reach out and touch this opportunity. And you just want to get closer and closer to that by being in the production studios and being on stages and being around these great artists and talent. I'm curious, where did your creativity come from?

How did you, and when you ever felt like blocked creatively or burnt out, how did you get into a creative state? I was never the great singer, the great guitar player, the great poet. I was the hardest working singer, guitar player, and poet. Yeah. And so that was a big part of how i became me if i was gonna drown it was gonna be of my own doing right so that was that was integral to the story also what was integral to my personal story was that the drinking age was 18 and it sounds comedic but it's true because at 16, you could slip into a bar.

Wow. Every 16 year old thinks he's going to be a pro athlete, a rock and roll star and astronaut, you know? So you could go in there and say, I'm going to do this. Golly gee, you know, and any little spark was enough to think that you could go to the next level and the next level and the next level. I was then fortunate enough that by 2021, I did write the song and knock on the DJ's booth. And the creative guy in me said how to get a record deal, how to then hire a band.

That was unique to the guy that was the harder worker. Right. You know? Because you could go down in the Jersey Shore when cover bands were making $3,000 a night in 1979, 80, 81. That's real money. We were making $100 in an original band to split between everybody, if you were lucky.

Wow. If you were lucky. If you were lucky. Because oftentimes you'd play for free because it was original music. so i never made any money but i didn't need it because i was 16 17 18 i was able to live at home yeah and for me that that that is a big part of the success was right time, right place, born at a certain time, you know, not privileged,

but food on the table, shoes on my feet, and two parents, and they were supportive. All good things. Yeah. So all of those things helped. Yeah, of course.

The way you're explaining yourself, you know, not the best at all these different things, but the hardest worker, you kind of sound like the Tom Brady of rock and roll. You know, it's like, you're like the Tom Brady of rock. You're like not the best at all these things, but you wield yourself to become the best and championship after championship after championship.

I don't know if that resonates with you at all. It does resonate with me because Tom kobe um lebron uh you know guys of this era that that's kind of the work ethic that i yeah think that i have or always had um you know yeah yeah you're mean, we had Kobe, uh, I got to interview Kobe on the show, um, before he passed and just learned so much from him in that short interview. Um, you know, I know you have a relationship, a lot of the great athletes, you owned a sports team at one point on the arena football team, but I think you said you have a relationship with Tom as well, or you've interacted with him over the years. What would you say is the greatest, uh, is the greatest thing you learned from Tom Brady about how he pursued

his craft and how it applied to your craft? Oh, I've observed Tom closely and I would like to think that I could call him my friend. I mean, he's been to my house many times and I go to practices and we talk on the phone and stuff so um here's a guy that's you know much younger than me that i'm learning from wow which i really appreciate too because you know 199 in the sixth round and all that kind of stuff and the audacity to tell mr crafty on the best thing you've ever done. And to have a coach like Belichick, you know, on him and never giving him all the accolades he could have easily,

you know, let go to his own head, kept him working. But I think that we carried that being from New Jersey as a band for the longest time. It was like, even with the accolades we'll show you and like Dorothy would say that I would just will things if and and by sheer will people would follow you if you led by example and I didn't ask you know that that this had to be this way or you know my way or the highway but nobody ever said I'm out of here because of hard work you know they just did everything too and gave everything they had to don't think for a moment that Richie and David and Tico

and didn't give everything they had because they did. Yeah. Yeah, they did. You have this amazing quote in the docuseries that I want to just read back to you that you said, at 25, all I was thinking about was fun and success. Yeah. At 30, I got married and looked at success differently. By 40, start to measure if you accomplish what you set out to. By 50, you start to think about a legacy. By 60, as the Chinese proverb says, you are the man you're meant to be.

So at 60, when I look back, did I become the man I wanted to be? I'm curious, do you feel like you've become that? I think it's a work in progress. Um, but I, I'm not disappointed by anything that I've done and I've had very few regrets, which I'm really proud to be able to say, you know, I've had loss, I've had physical ailments. Um,

I've had victories and, and I've, and I've had defeats, but I'm very proud of the legacy thus far. Yeah. I haven't done anything to f*** it up, you know. As I said, I'm only here to sell the truth. Yeah.

And it's blemished, but it's real. If you could go back, you know, to your younger self in your 20s or early 30s uh and you could only give yourself three pieces of advice and you know everything that you know now you're you're just going back in time and you're speaking to your younger self late 20s early 30s with everything that you've experienced what three things would you say to that younger John? I think there's, I don't even know that there's three. I would say take time to enjoy it more. Don't lose faith in yourself. Even when you feel like you're maybe down for the last time, you know, and the eight

count is going to nine. And to believe in the power of we. I think that those three things is probably what I would say. If you could jump in time 30 years from now and imagine you would get to accomplish everything and live the life that you want to live for the next 30 years, and just imagine you're in that state of wisdom.

What three pieces of advice would you give your younger self as you are today from that future self? If that makes sense. Well, 90 looking back on 60, you know, I guess I would probably say, on 60 um you know i guess i i would probably say did you live up to the uh the code that you set you know for yourself and for others and now for the next generation so with my kids um you know that if if i could see them becoming um members of society that were contributing something positively, then that will have been a victory. Because it's not about fame or fortune

or anything else that goes with it. I think it goes back to, did you leave something behind worthy of having been here? Wow. So that to me right now, as I sit here and I think about where my kids are because they're all grown, I'm not thinking about me anymore. I sort of feel like I've achieved the highest highs.

What I hope with this record and this film is that it's going to say, hey, good mile marker, the 40th. And by the way, this new album is pretty darn good. But it's not going to be slippery when wet again. You know, I'm 62 years old. It's time for the next generation to have their slippery when wet. But I would like to think that my next slippery when wet could be, you know, did my kids make any kind of contributions to the world?

Wow. That would be neat. That's beautiful. What does being a father tell you about life? You don't know shit. Man, from the minute that we won, I remember, you know, our first child was our daughter, and I didn't have sisters, let alone a baby.

When the door closed on that first night, we were like, there's no owner's manual that comes with this. You're like, wow. So you figure it all out. Okay, step at a time, and you get it, and you work hard at it. And with every child child and then with every chapter of every child the playbook changed wow and with their girls to boys and then toddlers to teens and then teens to adults and adults getting married nobody told me about these chapters in the book and i'm like you would i do you would

think that by now somebody would inform me about these chapters um but no one had told me about these chapters and they're they're all different so you know we're just trying to navigate it and and now all my friends that are my age go, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Didn't we tell you? I'm like, you man. No you didn't tell me. What is a lyric from one of your songs that you've written that really speaks to you of your season of life right now?

Oh my God. You're catching me off guard. I'm not usually good at this, but there's a song on the new album. It's called Hollow Man. And it says, what do you sing when the song's been sung? Hey.

Who do you fight when the war is won? Ugh. What do you write when your book is done? Wow. What do you sing when the war is won? What do you write when your book is done? Wow. What do you sing when the song's been sung? Here I am, the hollow man, telling stories about the promise of a promised land. I feel like a cheap bouquet of flowers in a one-night stand.

With my heart in my hand, I am the hollow man. Wow. It's saying I'm an empty vessel. I'm here looking up at the sky and saying, okay, Lord, what's next? Wow. And so that's just a song on the new album. That's on the new album.

That comes out... June 7th. June 7th. Wow. Yeah, Hollow Man's a story of me today today did you find the answer for that no i'm living it um every day is an opportunity to write a song but i don't often you know take every day as an and turn it on and as a matter of fact i at times have to turn it off and just acknowledge that it'll be there next time i want to turn the faucet on but because it becomes so overwhelming if you run the course of a cycle like with the joy that i've found with this record

um it was time to say okay it's being repetitive it's time to shut off the foster okay here's a new album it's called forever these lessons won't be manifest they're manifested but they won't be fully learned for the next two years wow and then i'll look back on them and then i'll know where i was that's large for you know, 44 decades plus of doing music, you've had to kind of like reinvent your identity almost every decade or every couple of albums or every few years while keeping, you know, your roots but innovating, you know,

music and things like that. But recently you went through surgery on your vocal cords and it's throughout the documentary series when people can watch it. And you know, I can, I can relate to this in my own way of being an athlete and getting injured and, and my whole identity, my entire life being tied into good, let's talk into being talented and being valuable and being able to use my skill sets to go make something happen of my dreams and my vision. But then when I got injured playing in a sport that you were an owner of, of another team playing arena football, that vision of my identity and my future became shattered literally and emotionally and spiritually.

And it was a year and a half of recovery and trying to figure out, okay, what do I do next? Who am I of this next season of life? What is my next chapter? What is my next song? What is my next play if I'm not able to play that game anymore. In your journey of, you know, your vocal cords not being the exact same in your 20s at 60, how have you mentally and emotionally dealt with the identity shifts and changes

as an artist and as a man? You and I were talking off camera about that period between when you stopped playing the game that you loved and determining that you were going to be here, which probably was not in the cards in 2008. Was not. You never dreamt of this.

But I'm going to guesstimate that you're pretty satisfied with where you are right now. I'm very satisfied. So look at that. And it needed to happen in order for me to get on this trajectory. The obstacle is the way, right? Exactly. And I at that. And it needed to happen in order for me to get on this trajectory. The obstacle is the way, right? Exactly. And I get that. I trust there was a period of mourning for you.

Big time. Right? Big time. Because from the time you were eight until you were 20. Yeah. 23, 24. 24. You were identified by the game.

Yes. And then there comes that mourning and confusion. I haven't had to quit doing what I'm doing, nor would I ever have to stop writing a song or making a record. But if I chose not to go out and tour again because I couldn't be at that level I am accustomed to performing at, I do wonder how I'll behave. Interesting.

But I haven't come to that crossroad. I hope you don't have to. I hope I don't have to either. If God forbid that is my future, the one thing I will know is I've exhausted every possible way. Grant. Back onto the playing field at the level that I'm accustomed to playing at. So when Kobe had the injury, when Tommy had the injury, when Michael Strahan ripped his back off of his chest, you know, when every athlete goes through

this, the question is, okay, I can get back on the playing field. Can I play in the Superbowl? You know, can I win again? win the level of what i'm capable of yeah and i don't know the answer so i'm a work in progress how is that uncertainty how are you dealing with that right now it's better than it was because i'm a really analytical guy when it comes down to it and i look at pictures of the chords and the progress and I'm optimistic about it. Of your actual vocal chords? Yeah, I see them all the time. So you see there's improvement.

Yeah. Yeah. But if it's not up to speed, let's say this, you know, and I hate to even put it out in the world. Yeah, yeah. That I don't tour. to even put it out in the world. Yeah, yeah.

That I don't tour. I can promise you, Lewis, that I will be able to say, I did do it at the highest level. Wow. For the longest time. And I'm good with that. Because one thing that I know that I've told myself since I was 25

was I will never be on the Where Are They Now tour, you know, playing in the train station at the, you know, diner in the buffet on Friday evening. It's just not going to happen. So I will be more than okay with that aspect. You'd be at peace if you don't get the tour again. If I don't have the opportunity, which I really would enjoy the opportunity,

I'll live with it. Because I'm still capable of writing a record. I'm still capable of recording a record. That's cool. I just need to be able to do two and a half hours a night, four nights a week. And if, God forbid, that doesn't happen, I can absolutely positively guarantee you,

you will never see me giving 50%. That's out of the question. Wow. Well, I hope the world gets to see you perform on stage again. And if you're coming to L.A., I got to go. So I'm going to find a way to get there for sure. Thanks, that'd be easy. And check it out. I've only got about five more minutes with you,

to be respectful of your time. I've only got about five more minutes with you to be respectful of your time. And I want people to watch this docuseries. It's called Thank You, Good Night, the Bon Jovi story. It's on Hulu. So make sure you guys go watch this. It's fascinating. If you love art, if you love music, if you love John, if you love just creativity, you know, ups and downs of success stories, you're going to love this series. So make sure you watch this. And if you really want to study your mind and the vision

that you had and the drive that you had to will your vision into existence, it is a beautiful story. So make sure you watch this. Even if you don't like music, you'll be inspired by this story and your vision of bringing your heart and putting it on for the world to see. So I really am inspired by that. You got the new album as well, June 7th, that people can get. What's the best place for them to get that?

It's streamed everywhere these days. Press a button. Okay. You know, so any Spotify, Amazon, and everybody's going to have it. Awesome. Before I ask the final

couple questions, what else can we do to be of service to you today? I don't know unless you have a magical mystery cure for the high C's of the vocal cords.

One of the things that you do, which I think is really cool as well, is you're all about service. You've got a charitable foundation as well. You want to give back. So many things you'll see in the docuseries about you wanting to be of service with your music, with your platform, with your fame. And I think that's really cool. So people can learn more about that as well. This question, final two questions. This one is called the three truths. So I've already

asked you a couple of hypothetical questions, but this is another one for you. Imagine you do get to live as long as you want to live. You get to keep performing as long as you want to perform. You get to do it all. You see your kids grow up even more, all the different things that happen in life. But for whatever reason, it's your last day on earth, many years away. Live as long as you want. And in this hypothetical scenario, you have to take all of your music with you. You have to take all of your writing with you. This conversation is no longer here. Any piece of content you've put out into this world, it goes with you. It's a hypothetical scenario. It goes with you. It goes with you or it's just not. You take it with you. You take it with you or it's not in this world. It goes somewhere else. We don't

have access to it. Okay. Hypothetical. Okay. So we don't get to hear your music anymore. Okay. But on this last day, you get to leave behind three truths. And that's what we do get to keep from you for these three lessons. They could be lyrics from a song. It could be something on your heart right now. It could be something simple, something, whatever it might be. But if it's the last day and you only get to share three lessons with the world, three truths, what would those three truths be for you? Wow.

Live your truths. live your truth without compromise be of service and take the time to see the world around you, to be one with the world around you. You know, see the clouds in the sky. See that the sun is shining. See the clouds in the sky. See that the sun is shining. See that the waves are crashing. See that the traffic is rolling by.

Just take the time to smell the roses. Yeah, that's really important. Too many of us run through life missing every sign of what was there for your pleasure. And so many of us were all self-absorbed and consumed and didn't serve anything other than self. And so many of us lived a false life of what others wanted us to do and be. And I think that all of those things are just a waste of this moment in time that we were all given here. Well, before I ask the final question, John, I would acknowledge you again for being of service to humanity through your talent, your art, and your heart. being of service to humanity through your talent, your art, and your heart. And, um, you know,

I love what you just said about not making it all about self, but also making it about service. And I think that's a beautiful life. So I want to acknowledge you for speaking that and sharing that with people, because I think a lot of people today just want to be successful and be famous and people because I think a lot of people today just want to be successful and be famous and make it about them. So I think it's really cool that you're making it about service and that's one of your truths. My final question for you, John, you answered this a little bit earlier, but I'd love to hear if it's evolved. What is your definition of greatness? Boy, with my brain spinning in my head. What is my definition of greatness? Greatness is being comfortable that is worthy behind.

I think I'll just leave it there. John, thanks so much for being here. Appreciate it, man. This was a joy. I hope you enjoyed today's episode and it inspired you on your journey towards greatness. Make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a full rundown of today's episode and it inspired you on your journey towards greatness. Make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a full rundown of today's episode with all the important links. And if you want weekly exclusive bonus episodes with me personally, as well as ad-free

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that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter. And now it's time to go out there and do something great.