The School of Greatness - Josh Peck On Fame, Fatherhood, Becoming Sober & Finding Happiness EP 1261

Episode Date: May 2, 2022

Today's guest is Josh Peck, who has established himself as one of Hollywood's rising talents, making the seamless transition from child actor to leading man. Josh is best known for his role on the Nickelodeon phenomenon Drake & Josh (2004-2007) for which he received a Kids’ Choice Nomination. He’s starred in feature films such as Mean Creek (2004), The Wackness, Red Dawn(2012), and much more. You can next see Josh Peck in the highly anticipated Hulu series, How I Met Your Father, and in the iCarly Reboot on Paramount+. In this episode you will learn:How it felt for Josh to lose over 100 pounds.Why happy people are annoying.The biggest misconception of fame.How Josh was able to overcome addictions and become sober.What being a father has taught Josh. For more, go to www.lewishowes.com/1261Master Your Mind and Defy the Odds with David Goggins: https://link.chtbl.com/715-podScooter Braun on Healing Past Trauma: https://link.chtbl.com/1244-podEmmanuel Acho on Living a Life Without Limits: https://link.chtbl.com/1245-pod

That was my dream and I was sort of doing that. And I had my own show with my name in it. It's crazy. It's crazy. Like, who gets that? And yet, here I was also knowing that I was introducing myself to the world in a body that I wasn't quite comfortable in. Welcome to the School of Greatness.

My name is Lewis Howes, a former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin. You are a child acting phenom star and you're still acting and booking movies with all these famous people but you also had some struggles as a kid as well right and you went through a weight loss journey in the middle of a show isn't that correct yes you were filming a season for a TV show and you lost a hundred pounds in

one season is that right or over a couple seasons? Maybe a season and a half. About two years. Two years, 100 pounds. Yeah. How old were you at this time? I was 17. 17. What made you realize that you wanted to lose the weight?

And was that a big challenge during a two-season process as a character to change that much? Well, I think what made me realize I wanted to lose weight was girls. Girls helped. Yes. Isn't that every young boy's motivation is like, I want to learn this musical instrument. I want to do this. Lose weight for the girl. Oh, for sure. That was my life as a kid. It's like admonishing fathers and pretty girls have probably been the driving force behind a lot of men's greatness throughout their lives, I would imagine. Was it one specific girl or just the fact that like? The idea of like maybe being an actual teenager and going out on dates and going to parties. And because I was living sort of this dichotomy where I was getting to do this incredibly cool job, one that I was so lucky to have. And like, I dreamed of being an actor doing this kind of comedy. Like at 16, it wasn't

about being on SNL. It was about being on all that, which was like the kids version of SNL on Nickelodeon. And that was my dream. And I was sort of doing that. And I had my own show with my name in it. It's crazy. It's crazy. Like who gets that? And yet here I was also knowing that I was introducing myself to the world in a body that I wasn't quite comfortable in. And that people tend to marry themselves to the first image that they fall in love with.

Like Steve Carell is one of our greatest actors, right? But for many he'll always be Michael Scott from The Office, and that's great because The Office is so beloved. But I knew that I had my work cut out for me, and I knew that I was holding myself back in certain ways and that food and body had sort of been a menacing force to my family. And that if I just continued to wait, that I had sort of missed out on my teenage years and I would miss out on my college years and more if I didn't get this thing under control. What was the driving

cause for you gaining the weight or using food as you know a soothing strategy? You know your guess is as good as mine I would imagine there they're, you know, food is delicious. Yeah. There was probably some epigenetics there. I was inheriting some like transgenerational trauma because I come from sort of a family of bigger people. And so it was obviously a coping mechanism before I actually got to like enter the world for people who came before me. And then, you know, it was like my first foray into overindulging in something, which gave me sort of a numbing effect, which kind of turned my insecurities down and kept those voices at bay. The ones that woke up a few minutes before I did every morning that told me why I'd never be enough and why things weren't going to work out. Wow.

Yeah. Why did you feel like you would never be enough? I don't know. You had your name on a TV show. You're getting, you know. But this was far know. I mean, you had your name on a TV show, you're getting, you know. But this was far back. I mean, this is as far back as I have memories of like seven years old feeling terminally unique

when I probably should have only been worried about Power Rangers. Right, like G.I. Joe or something, yeah. Yeah, I'm like contemplating the abyss. Like when I talk about, you know, how eventually as I got older and it sort of shifted after I lost weight into sort of drugs and alcohol, I was like, if you saw me at eight or nine years old, sort of painfully insecure, hyper worried about what you thought and, you know, what my place was in the world, you would have been like, get that kid a drink. He needs to cool out a little bit.

But I found that at the bottom of a Gusher's box or fruit by the foot. Pretty much any fruit snack. Exactly. Was there a was there a big wound that was you know you were trying to numb out or was there something out of the ordinary? I didn't know my dad and my dad was in my life I never met my pops and so I imagine that maybe set the stage um yeah in some respect and then also you know my mom is the greatest and as many single moms have to sort of contend with she had to provide for us and and I think there was a lot of financial insecurity growing up right and and then you know at eight nine years old, I was so lucky to have this talent and sort of like this proclivity for musical theater

and singing and dancing and all these things. But at nine, there's not a lot of social currency to that. It's not dope. Maybe it is today with shows like Glee and other things that have kind of made it more mainstream, I guess. But back then, we grew up in the 80s and 90s. It wasn't cool. No, it's not.

If you can't hit a ball, you're not crushing it. I was in choir, and I remember feeling worried that people saw that I was in choir. Really? Yeah. Were you doing that in addition to athletics? Yeah, I was playing sports. But my dad insisted that I did the choir because he was in opera. Wow.

He and my mom met singing opera at Ohio State in like opera class or whatever it was, yeah. And was he too an athlete? He wanted to be an athlete. He was a musician. He was a singer, played classical piano and sang. Incredible voice. But he also played sports in high school, but he was never good enough to, I think, play in college.

So your dad is me, and you're like what I do to my son, which is like, stop it. You're going for the sports, right? But if he ever gets super adept, I'm going to be like, but learn the piano. Exactly. I wish. My dad sent me to one piano lesson,

and I kicked and screamed, and I never went back. I wish I would have learned a musical instrument then. Oh yeah. Wish, man. It's the ultimate thing. How many instruments do you play? I play piano. I mean, I'm not like, I can sound really good for five or 10 minutes and then you'll start to see sort of holes in my development as a musician. But yeah, I mean, you don't ever want to be the guy who's like, oh, there happens to be a guitar here. But it is. If you're around a nice bonfire, perhaps, oh my gosh. That skill can bring people together. Like comedy, which I learned at an early age, but being a great musician, it's like a magic trick. Magic. And when you can do it well,

people just want to see it again. Over and over, man. And it creates moments. It creates memories. It creates magic, like you said. And I think when we can develop those skills, you know, for me, and as an early teen,

it was like I need to become great at sports because I didn't have any other skills. I wasn't good in school. I didn't have the musical talent yet. And sports was the way to get the girl. But yours was losing weight, it sounds like. You had the comedy and the acting. Was that attracting you what you wanted in kind of relationships or with attention from girls at that point? Maybe, but I do remember one thing specifically i don't know why this sticks out that there was like this girl who was like totally adorable and we were 15 and she just was like

like now in hindsight i'm like she was giving you all the signs peck you were blind like but i i was so wrapped up in self and insecurity that i was just like who's this nice girl who always texts me or like who's this nice girl who always offers me a ride home from her mom when we're done hanging out at the mall with our group of friends? And yeah, I was totally oblivious to that. You didn't see a sign, yeah. No. Now, so you were, what, 15 to 17 when you did the show?

I was 14 to 19. 14 to 19 when you did the show with your name in it, which is crazy. On Nickelodeon, is that right? Yes. Yes. And on a scale of one to 10, 10 being the happiest,

most secure human you could have been, like self-love, all those things out of 10, one being you hated yourself. Where were you on that scale when you had your own show with your own name on it on, I guess, the biggest kids network that there was at the time? Where were you on that scale?

Oh, I mean, it depends on the day, right? Like there were moments where I felt pretty content. I didn't love being so overweight, but otherwise my life was really full and despite sort of the challenges and the things that I've gone through like I've had some very baseline like human needs very much taken care of my mom always gave me a deep sense of like love and decency and security even when we were like super financially secure there'd be moments where we would you know we wouldn't know where we were sleeping that night. And yet, like I knew, I was like, well, mom will figure it out. Like, because she always does. So there were certainly like moments, snapshots throughout that time where if you asked me then, I'd be like, I'm at a one. Like, I feel utterly hopeless and uncomfortable in this moment but it was but i think it you have to

sort of like if i'm looking at it now from my 35 year old mind if i look at the factors at bay it was like it was probably it was um i don't want to say it was like shallow or artificial it just was like i don't know i think you could look at a lot of teenagers and who have a very middle class very you know traditional family structure that in any at any given moment if you zoomed in on their life they'd be like yeah the world's ending duh right like i got a crappy grade or she doesn't like me all teenagers my mom will let me have these dope jeans i don't know i don't know what's cool now. But, like, so, but, yeah, I think there were certainly moments. But overall, like, I don't think I was, like, plagued by this and, like, trauma.

Like, I lived a nice life. I just had these challenges. Sure. Yeah. What would you say you're at now from one to ten? I mean, the goal for me in life is five. I try not to get too high or too low Mm-hmm

You know what I'm saying? Like sure I don't want to that meaning not like you're too high but more like you have inner peace You you love yourself fully you accept yourself Yeah, not shaming and like putting yourself down. It depends on the day. Interesting. Where are you at right now? May I if I'm sure of course, you know anything man. I'm always I? Sure, of course. You can ask me anything. Man, I'm always a there's room for growth type of person, but I truly feel I'm at a 8.3 to 8.5 range pretty consistently, especially in the last year. But I've also, like I've talked about on my show here, I've been doing every other week, deep emotional accountability

therapy work with someone who supports me, navigating the emotions of life, the thoughts, the feelings, the emotions of life, and allowing me to go back in time and heal any wounds that are yet to be healed. And that has given me more inner peace consistently it doesn't mean there's not moments where i'm frustrated when something doesn't go well or i might be triggered by something here or there but pretty consistently it feels more of like a eight range where it used to be like a four or five up and down some days eight some days four or five but now it's more consistently in the higher range yeah um i think it's um because i'm willing to consistently do the emotional accountability work and things are just really good in my life right now but i say that also with my dad passing two months ago wow and i had deep sadness and grief, but I still felt like in the weight of everything happening,

there's a lot of stuff that happened during that time and COVID and all these other things, I feel like I'm able to keep my inner world at around an eight. And I think that's all we can control. As our friend Ryan Holiday says, where he talks about stoicism all day long, the Stoics talk about, it's not what what happens it's how you respond to what happens and so it's in a constant emotional accountability of responding moment by moment which makes me feel like I'm more in the eight range which means I still have room to prove and grow and doesn't mean tomorrow to get me off track potentially but it's the consistency which has supported me.

Yeah, my buddy always says like your life should be like the stock market and that if on any given day it could have fallen a thousand points or it could be skyrocketing. But if you look at it trending over time, it trends up. And I would certainly say that that's been my life for the last 15 years. That's great. And isn't it interesting, too, to your point about your reaction to things? And I think Ryan Holiday talks about this as well, is how little of a reaction is necessary for most things. Another friend of mine talks about everything in life is a neutral event yeah things are happening it's neutral it's how we interpret the event is based on whether we give it a lot of value or

weight or stress or pleasure you know it's our interpretation of the moment i'm curious when you had this you know big success kind of into fame in your teen years with this show, how did you manage your mindset with the early success where we see in the news kind of the younger actors who are rising to fame kind of have these breaking moments throughout history is what it seems like. How did you manage your mindset when all this success, money, and awareness about who you were came to light? Well, I think especially as it applies to sort of Drake and Josh,

which was sort of the impetus of that, the silver lining to be overweight was that I never got too impressed with myself. So it was like constantly reminding me that, yes, you get to do this very interesting, unique job. And yes, people are giving you a lot of compliments and you're getting so much more sort of prestige and reinforcement than one human should ever have. And yet, because I was constantly sort of being ego deflated by how I wasn't enough looking in the mirror and seeing something you were happy with at the time it's a little bit so it was like I never got to impress with myself

luckily huh that's good in addition to like look for every you know Zendaya or even Shia LaBeouf there are thousands of kids who perpetuate that sort of, I don't even want to call it a stereotype because it's very true in many ways, right? We see these child actors who sort of have this crest and this apex moment. And then inevitably, like for many of them, they crash and burn. And so I knew that informed the collective opinion. And I didn't want that to be me. You were aware of this at that time when you were a teenager. Yeah, I was certainly aware of the stereotype,

especially coming off of a kid's show. This is pre-social media. So you weren't on, if you're a kid on Stranger Things and it premieres Friday night, by Monday morning, you have 20 million followers on Instagram. Crazy, overnight.

Overnight. And now, whether the show goes 10 seasons or not, you have 20 million followers on Instagram. Crazy. Overnight. Overnight. And now whether the show is, you know, goes 10 seasons or not, you have these followers you can bring with you to your next project or you can sell them something or they're behind you.

But you didn't have that in 2006. Right. So the moment the show was over, not only were you also facing a lot of like sort of preconceived notions of who kid stars were but you didn't have that sort of value property that would sort of follow you with you interesting so how did you how did you navigate that where did your value was it based on landing the next gig then i guess totally and you know in kids tv like there's no residuals, and I talk about it in the book,

and I only talk about it to sort of create what is, I think, a misperception you could say about kids' shows during that time, which was like, we were making over five years about, you know, 100,000 bucks a year. Like, all said and done. Now, that's like a really great middle class lifestyle and i'm not complaining i'm just saying that you're certainly not set for life you wouldn't

expect that of anyone that they could just quit tomorrow if they made a hundred grand a year and and not have to work for the next 50 right but i think because of that sort of you know collective misnomer there was this idea that if you were 19 and you did a show like that, and then maybe you went on to do something else, or maybe you just did something to pay your rent, that you were failing. Like people would think, would you blow all the money? Would you make a mistake? Why are you doing this? You're set. But I knew that it was time to get to work. Because I had this mom who supported me. And knew in my heart I wanted to be able to take care of the family and I also knew that the thing that at eight years old that saved me

from myself from my thoughts from my my circumstance was tv it was the fresh prince of bel-air and ace ventura and billy madison and these characters that were my friends. I talk about how I kept the TV on at night so that the room would never get dark. It was my teacher, my babysitter. Becoming an actor feels like someone going to work for the hospital that cured their cancer. I feel indebted to the business.

It's a thing that I've loved. Before I was worried about paying my bills or what you thought of me. I just did it for fun. to the business. It's a thing that I've loved before I was worried about paying my bills or what you thought of me. I just did it for fun. And so it's a thing that's driven me my whole life. I know how lucky I am to have that now because not everyone is that clear about it. So when did you understand the power of social media? And since you didn't have it with these kind of earlier shows that you were on, when did you start to realize like,

oh, having a show or being in a movie is helping me build this following now. And there's this other element to the industry, which is social media. Yeah. I mean, it was 2013. And I, you know, I was lucky to sort of, I mean, we've been alive during the renaissance of social, or it's not a renaissance, it's a creation of social media, right? And how many different sort of advertising avenues have there been over the last 500 years?

Like it was print, and then radio, and then TV movies. And then billboards, and then, yeah. Yeah, and now it's the internet and social media, but that's like six over 500 years, and we're alive during the beginning of it. And so I was 24, 25, and there was this app called Vine, which, RIP, miss it.

It's the best. Yeah. Nine million followers, gone. Oh, man, that's tough. Who cares about nine million followers, right? Comes and goes, you get it. Yeah, it doesn't matter. I's the best. Nine million followers, gone. Oh man, that's tough. Who cares about nine million followers, right? Comes and goes, you get it. Yeah, it doesn't matter. I know you know.

Nine million followers, yeah. School of greatness. So nine million followers, so you were like an OG on Vine, you and Logan Paul and a few of those people. Yeah, but I benefited from that it had just started, right? So the algorithm was sort of, it was in the fashion in which it was at that time, which was like it really rewarded you for consistency. Of course.

And my friend who works at Instagram always tells me, like, we only win if you create. We don't win if a post does poorly for you. We don't want you to do badly. Like our social media, the entire industry works if you keep giving us stuff to post. And so I'm a big fan of Vine. And my wife, who was my girlfriend at the time, goes, why don't you make a video? Just try it. And make one and then make a couple more.

And suddenly I have a couple thousand followers. Then over the next few months I have a couple thousand followers. Then over the next few months, I have a couple hundred thousand. And I remember I was at this inflection point where I knew that I could really lean into this thing or I could let off the gas and people would forget that I ever did it. And I got a call from my agent and manager at that time. And they were sort of like, what are you doing? Like in a good sense, this is cool or why are you doing this thing? This is like hurting you in the industry. Sure. I mean,

I think they were worried about the optics because remember, this is 2013. So The Rock doesn't have 300 million followers and Kevin Hart and Jack Black

and all these like A-list people, they're not on social yet. And I remember specifically like them saying, you you know we're trying to make you not just the goofy guy from Drake and Josh we want to make you a leading man do you think this hurts us you making like silly videos on your phone six-second video clips yeah yeah and luckily I had like a real apostle at that time my buddy Rami who worked in social media early on. And he said to me,

let me tell you something. Don't let anyone tell you they know what this is. Because even I don't know, and I work in it. He's like, but being able to go directly to your followers, having hundreds of thousands of people who are telling you what they like, what they don't like, and everything in between, that's powerful. So do this. Do it every day. And up until this point, I had always been at the mercy of the gatekeepers. You know, five people had to sign off for me to get a job. Casting director, producer, an executive, a director, all these people. And this was the first time in my life that I didn't have to ask permission.

This was the first time in my life that I didn't have to ask permission. And I think that was why I was so sort of enchanted by this idea of like going directly. Like I felt empowered. Like finally I don't have to ask anyone's permission. And then inevitably a year later when, you know, branded posts started happening and these Fortune 500 companies start sort of flocking to social media. I was like, oh, this is a whole different level of security that I can accrue from just doing this thing that I've always done. I just can't have an ego about the way in which I do it. Wow. That's powerful. So was there a moment, so did you build the following from just being consistent on the platforms? Or did you start to notice, oh, I'm getting a big influx

when I'm doing a show or a movie or something's happening in the industry as well? I found that the greatest thing was collaboration. And so Vine had sort of taught me early on. I mean, and these were kids who, you know, these weren't people who were coming out of the industry. They were, you know, college graduates. They were kids from their hometown, not from coastal cities, from, you know, from Toronto and from, you know, Logan Paul's from Ohio. Like, shout out, Ohio. Absolutely, yeah.

You know, like, I mean, you know, Mr. Beast is from North Carolina. Like, they didn't have to be in a coastal city. They didn't need a manager or an agent. They didn't need any nepotism. But they all moved out here because they had found their own followings and i leaned in and i didn't have an ego about like well i've done some stuff you know or i had a show with my name in it because i was like for what like these kids are making something that really is connecting with an audience and i remember we would all get together. A lot of the guys on Vine moved to this building. Yes. 1600 Vine. Yes. Yeah. And we would sit there. So you lived in there. I didn't live there, but I. You'd go there and collaborate. I would

collaborate and I just enjoyed creating. And, you know, I know a lot of people got into the business where it's revealed over time that they like liked acting but they really were in it for the billboard right or the fame for the accomplishments the notoriety yeah the red carpet you know but like i'm a i'm a drama geek sure and and so this idea of we got to all sit around and come up with an idea, and then we'd pitch jokes, we'd top each other, we'd shoot it, and then we'd go on to the next person's video felt better than sitting in my apartment questioning my value on this earth and wondering why my agent hasn't sent me an audition in two weeks. Sure. And that's why I really leaned in. It just felt warm.

It felt like a warm place. Because it seems like there's, like you mentioned the Stranger Things crew, it's like they were nobodies, and then that next week they all had like six million followers, right? Without creating content and social. So some people that build followings

because they have a project that is known to the world, and then they draw that project, those followings over to their social. But you were known to the world, but you said, I'm just going to create this and build it from the platform. Yeah, you make a great point. I think certainly if you can, you know, there are a few things a year, like a stranger things that really triggers the zeitgeist. like a stranger things that really triggers the zeitgeist and and i think also you know kids at that age are on social media so it's not um far-fetched why they would get this huge following out of nowhere or if you have like great abs you right i don't right yeah i don't

have that actually don't have abs i don't think i've ever had abs really yeah they're semi there you know but i've never been like shredded come on yeah you need one good stomach flu that's you know what i mean just get rid of 15 pounds and get it out yeah it's gonna be washboard but i you know so certainly there are those hacks or like um just people that are very much sort of in the zeitgeist they're in the cultural yeah pop culture for me, I was sort of more creator focused. And I was lucky because I came from a super broad comedic background that in some ways hurt me when I would try to go do more legitimate things or things that weren't that sticky and big. But in creating a six second video, it was sort of the perfect formula. So I like I'd had good training to be effective in that format sure yeah you mentioned also about how you know food was something that you know I'd say you were I guess addicted to or indulged in and had an unhealthy relationship with let's say for a period

of time but then you lost the weight and then you also talked about different drugs alcohol is not right that you you leaned in some of the other substances let's say non food substances Where do you feel like you're at now with food substances alcohol and everything else and How did you learn to get to a healthier place with all substances? to get to a healthier place with all substances? Well, I'm 14 years sober luckily, and it works really well for a guy like me. Sort of abstinence from drugs and alcohol or anything like that.

I do drink caffeine. Yeah, exactly. But I think, the food thing is very interesting. I feel really lucky in that, you know, I've seen my mom. I've sort of had a front row seat to people really struggle with, you know, if your thing is food or sex or things that in theory, I mean food certainly, but sex as well, like that is part of the human existence that you need. I imagine that is such a challenging

thing to face, right? Because you're dosing out a little bit of this thing that can be pretty, you know, haunting in the wrong dosages. But for me, so I was able to sort of like completely abstain from those major things. And then the food thing is the thing that I'm just thoughtful about. It's reassuring to know that I don't know if anyone isn't thinking about food. I think there's a very small percentage, but especially the people that are in incredible shape, I think they're probably thinking about it more than anyone wants to think. Everyone is. Everyone's worried about it. And so I just, I rarely wake up in the morning in the mood for a salad. But I've had enough data to support that if I eat that salad, I'll feel better than a lot of other things.

And then sometimes I black out and eat like a bunch of White Castle hamburgers. Oh, man. Those are good. Wake up. I mean, you're from Ohio. Ohio, man. White Castle. Wendy's in White Castle. It's a good life.

Sometimes you got to do that. I do it constantly. Exactly. But I also, you know, I fell in love with working out and being active and just like the endorphins that come from, you know, getting those sort of good chemicals going. Absolutely. So I'm able to sort of even it out. But, you know, you might find me at the wrong time.

You never know. Six White Castle hamburgers. Yeah. Baskin Robbins. Oh, man. You're like, Josh, good to see you. I'm like, I'll act like we never met. Right. Please don't talk to me. wrong time you never know six white castle hamburgers asking robins oh man like josh good to see you i'm like i'll act like we never met right please i'm just eating my ice cream yes let me have this moment how is um what is the biggest misconception about fame you feel like

people have and what is the difference between tv slash movie fame and social media fame? I think the difference between social media and traditional TV and movie fame, the difference is becoming more and more slight. And I think by the time my son is a teenager, he's three now, I don't know if there will be a separation because inevitably, I'm not sure that the people that he watches on my iPad

are any different than if we go watch, you know, a movie in the theater. He might think Mr. Beast is more famous than, you know, Jim Carrey or something, you know, based on. Yeah. He, you know, he's probably going to be watching an iPad or an iPhone more than a big screen. Totally. Where when we grew up, it was like going to the big screen was a big deal. It was such an event. And they were big stars.

But now you see Mr. Beast or, I don't know, a Dhar Mann video with these younger actors in his videos. You might think you're more connected to what you're seeing consistently, right? Totally. And I think too, the way we saw with tv shows you know when you let someone into your home and you watch something with your family like it's a very special relationship and I think now with social media having access to these people that you love

yeah not stop yeah you're invested in their life and I think you're so much more inclined to buy their thing because you're like, I want to support them. Or I know like I have a shorthand with them and they wouldn't lead me astray. I mean, you have to be careful, right? Like the things that you do sell them have to be a value because you'll lose that quickly if you steer your audience wrong. But yeah, I think that's very true. How have you managed it yourself? Like the idea of fame over the last I guess 15 20 years

I'm not Listen, this is what I really like fame really like it I do these college gigs where I go and I I'll go speak at some college and recently I was at Bryant University in Rhode Island and listen, I'm not going to hide it. I stay in a Marriott courtyard. Nice. And a lot of these places, you know, I'll want to maximize time with my son. So I'll take the red eye in, you know, you get in, you know, you do so much speaking stuff. You get in at 8am, 9am and you're like, what am I going to do? You know, I'm going to, I'm tired and you want to go crash at the hotel. Check-in's not until 2.

So I go to the Marriott courtyard. And if I see the, and it's like 10 a.m., maybe 11 now. You get that free breakfast over there, the Continental, man. Are you kidding me? Make your own waffle? Absolutely. Where else are you going to do that? But if I see that the person behind the desk recognizes me,

I go, I'm checking in early. That's what I like. You're actually like my friend. That's about it. There you go. No, I go, I'm checking in early. That's what I like. That's about it. There you go. No, I mean, yeah, I don't know. I don't implicitly think about it a lot, except in where can I be useful. You know, writing this book, right, like I wanted it to be a self-help book,

hiding as a memoir. And I realized that I love a good self-help book, and by that I mean I don't read them I put them on my bookshelf of course yeah you buy them yeah I want you to think I read them and and sometimes I feel like self-help books or even memoirs can be written by people who feel like they're at the finish line and the people who have summited the peak and so it can be hard to relate but for me I was like wow a lot of people grew up watching my show. And if I was saying to them, that time when you were watching me, where maybe you were assuming everything was perfect, I was actually going through this. Wow. That's special.

thing that's unique to me how can i sort of help people in a way and and use that to to their benefit ideally while enjoying the spoils of getting a chicken at the marriott exactly why are happy people annoying to you well i think i i made a snap judgment for a lot of my life thinking that happy was this thing that was inherited by attractive people the generationally wealthy arena football yeah i was making 250 bucks a week playing arena football watch out watch out yo how much smaller is the field in arena size yeah it's 50 yards and about 25 wide but the athleticism is insane. Oh, yeah. Freaks. It's violent. Extremely violent. I mean, you're playing on like concrete, essentially, with a little slab of carpet. You're getting hit by either a wall or the concrete every play.

Or another human being. Within no space to run around. So they're just smashing into you. So I played a quarterback in this movie, Red Dawn. The remake of Red Dawn. Uh-huh. Okay. It's one I'm pretty proud of.

Yes. I'm not. And no, I could have been better. I'm sorry. It's a good movie. I wish I was better. And I'm playing, you know, I'm 21, and I'm playing this quarterback, so I go to football camp for two weeks.

Wow. And with a lot of former arena football guys, or current arena football players. Some college athletes, and they were so lovely. And I remember, we're gonna show some plays to the producers right like this is what we've set up for a couple of the different takes in the movie and I line up behind my center a guy named Reggie who I've been with for a week and a half he was about 300 plus pound black guy, the best. Like a real center in life, yeah. Yeah, total center.

And I yell Hut, and then I realize that I'm now behind a 220 pound white guy named Mike. I lined up behind the wrong guy. Wow. On the first play, in front of the director, in front of the producers. No way. And I just was like, I give up. I give up with this role. I'll never be enough.

And your brother-in-law's a quarterback, right? Yeah, my brother-in-law played for Fresno State, and my father-in-law played for the Jets. But you didn't know them then? No, thank God. That would have been good to get the training, though. I think they've seen the movie. They don't bring it up at Thanksgiving.

That's good. That's good. Something you mentioned beforehand, which i thought was really inspiring is that you've had this career as an actor very consistently since you were in your teens you've built i don't know 30 plus million followers on social media you speak you've got the book now but i heard you say before which i think is really inspiring is that your chapter, you wanted to be about impacting people and service. That's what I heard you say before we jumped on the camera. Why is that something that excites you at this stage of your life?

You know, being of service in a bigger way. I just think, I think I sort of know, I guess I've heard it said before, like there's no true altruism because when you're doing something for someone else, did you say that? You came up? No, I was just pointing back to yourself as it's always makes you feel better. Exactly. Yeah. That's what I was pointing at me saying. It makes you feel better. Yeah. I'll give you credit for it. But yeah, there's no true altruism just because it's this idea of like you're instantly repaid the moment you do it, especially if you don't get caught doing it. You try to do good things for other people and don't get caught doing it, I've heard. So yeah, like whether I believe it really deeply in my soul, which I believe I do, but I also know like it's kind of like the only free high in life.

And it's the only way for me to pay back how utterly overpaid I am in my life. And, you know, again, like throughout my life and even when we talk today, when people say like, what are your next goals? Or what's the rest of the year looking like? Or the next five years? It's like, you know, when I interviewed Neil Brennan for my podcast, Male Models, I interviewed him and he's a brilliant comedian, helped create the Chappelle show. And I'll never forget what he said. He's like, you know, you'll probably get what you always wanted, just not in the ways you were expecting it. And then he said, actually,

you'll probably get what you always wanted, but by the time you get it, you won't want it anymore. And I found that to be incredibly true. And so everything in my life, I could not have sort of expected it or set it up in the game plan, but it's been exactly what I needed at the right time. And I think that me using all of this goodwill that I've accrued to sort of help people is sort of like the only, it's the only thing to do. Yeah. What's the thing you got that you really wanted that you realized when you got it wasn't all that after all? Oh, man.

That's such a great question. Is it landing some big show or getting some award or something that you thought was going to change the way you felt about yourself or give you something that you didn't have? I think there's, look, I went three years really struggling. I was having a great sort of part of my life in social media and speaking gigs and writing this book for three years. But I was not really working as an actor. And that was so ego deflating. Really?

It was this thing that I'd done since I was nine. And I'm dealing with this idea of like, but I'm taken care of and I feel like I'm ungrateful to be pissed. And yet there's this thing that my identity is wrapped up in it. And if I am not this, then what am I? And I would audition and I would get close to certain things. So I'm like, okay, I'm in the ballpark, but it just wasn't connecting. And then I finally, once I had sort of let it all go, right, which people had told me my whole life, but it was like the destination without the directions, which was like, oh, when you stop caring, that's when you book the big job. I was like, well, that sounds great, but that's like a bumper sticker.

How do I do it? I was like, well, that sounds great, but that's like a bumper sticker. How do I do it? But I had to like really face that thing of like, can I be okay without the things that I thought would make me all better? Like, can I allow a good life to be the result of good living instead of like, but I need these trophies. I swear to God, once I get this award, I'll be fine. Or once I have X in my bank account, then I'll be okay. I had to be okay with like, I have a wife have a kid I can pay my bills like I feel like I'm a good man like I gotta be okay with that

and the rest has to be icing so I got a really great job I became the lead in this Disney plus tv show called Turner and Hooch which is very canceled but it was very good for the time we made it and and I love doing it, but even in that moment, I'm standing on set and I'm like, I miss my kid. You know, and I was like, if you had flashed forward or flashed back six months ago, I would have been like, to be the lead of some big fancy show would be the only thing I'd want in the world.

And I loved every second of it, and I would have loved to keep doing it. But certainly in those moments, I'm like, well, there's always something. You know, you're always sort of, you're never all better. Yeah. Yeah. That's interesting. That's good perspective.

Speaking of your kid, how old is your kid? He's three. Three years old. What has been the biggest lesson of fatherhood so far for you? Oh, boy. I think it's much like we were chatting. I'm not sure whether we were chatting on camera about it or it was before we were rolling, but like lack of reaction and how much that will serve me.

Not reacting to things. Yeah. Why is that? Because so much goes on in a given day with my three-year-old son and I would I would venture to guess most three-year-olds where you are so overwhelmed by this like joy and meaning and value as a human being and then you feel utterly frustrated and hopeless because like why doesn't this kid listen to me like and, and you're like, Oh, yeah, he's three, it would be ridiculous if he like bent to my will. Right? He's figuring out his place on this earth, too. And he's pushing limits and trying things. And, and, you know, and I've

learned that from my wife, really, like, I always imagined that I would like puff up on my kid, and be like, here are the rules and we're gonna be like and I'm gonna teach you how to be a man when in reality like it's about me being non-reactive and just you know gentle you know giving him gentle guidance about what's right and what's not and obviously you still have like your bottom lines like hey we're not gonna act like this and if we do we're gonna go into a timeout but there's no need to sort of be. Explode or react or something like that. Yeah. And my wife leads by example in that way. That's beautiful. What's the biggest lesson your father taught you by not being here? You know, there was, there was sort of two things about my dad that I realized.

One was this idea of in my 20s I would sort of have these relationships. Throughout my teens it was initially with men in my life that I would turn men into these father figures without them knowing. Older male figures? Yeah. And these sort of covert contracts that I would make with men that they had no idea about.

Just like TV executives or managers or agents or... The doorman of my building. Interesting. Really? Just random guys that if they were nice to me or like I just would put them on a pedestal

and basically set them up to disappoint me of course and then and it would just breed resentment uh-huh and then and then eventually with women in my life what I found was you know I get into these relationships and like you know these are typical of the relationships you have in your early 20s like it wasn't these super long-term things but you know I would be dating someone and then there would be a natural conflict as is just natural in relationships, especially early on, and I would just head for the hills.

Because I wanted to, what I didn't know was that I was sort of perpetuating the bad behavior of my dad. Because what I was doing was I was saying, listen, he left. So obviously nothing is forever, right? Like if 50% of your parental system can leave, well then, you know, there's a chance no one will stick around ever. So I'm I'm okay And actually I'm gonna prove to you how okay I am by leaving first Right so Wow and like she would be left going like we were literally like fighting over nothing

Yeah, what we're gonna order from takeout for takeout like wow It would just be these like little triggers that instead of being like oh These are the natural conflicts that if you walk through as a couple you become closer when did you realize that was a thing and how did you learn to shift that energy from leaving to okay let me have the uncomfortable conversation and figure out a solution i think it was know, I think it all sort of stemmed from recovery and getting sober and being aware of the work. Like, you'll never know what the thing is that wakes you up to this idea of life is constant inner work, right? And you talked about it early on. Yes.

Like, you're doing your therapy. Like, it's like, how can I hold myself more accountable? Uh-huh. Even if you have the best parents, there's always going to be like some blind spots like some gaps in your rearing where you have to do some self-parenting and usually with the help of others absolutely that's interesting so yeah have you been doing a lot of self-parenting for your life recently well i just think like it became the this idea of like whether through recovery through other other people, through traditional

therapy it was like how can I look at these things, these negative patterns and try not to allow them to completely ruin my life. And then I learned it from my wife because when we started dating we would get in, we would have a conflict or get into a fight and I finally understood that family doesn't leave and so she made me understand that like oh we can fight we can even go to bed angry but family doesn't leave so where am I going right we'll figure this out today tomorrow or maybe in a week from now but family doesn't leave so we're ready, I'll be here to figure this out. You take some time if you need to, to go have space,

but then come back and we'll talk about it. Yeah, and that was revelatory for me because it reinforced this idea, but her family structure was so healthy that that was natural to her. And it wasn't, even though I have this great mom who was so there for me, I was so influenced by this guy simply by him just not

being there what was the positive lesson that him not being there taught you um the positive I think I don't know I think it all being full circle with me having a son and I think it might not sound positive but it allowed me to have closure with him which was having my son and totally getting off in these like mundane things of you know putting clothes on my kid or bathing him or or walking him for miles while he slept in his stroller um I started to feel bad for my dad. Really? I was like, he missed out on all this. And I think once you can have empathy, it's nice. Because I think for most of us,

the initial is just anger and resentment. And when it can evolve into empathy eventually, it's like, oh, this is less corrosive to my spirit. Yeah. That's a beautiful perspective, man. I've got a couple final questions for you before I ask them.

Sure. Happy people are annoying. You look very happy here on both sides of the book. It's a beat and switch. Right, exactly. Make sure you guys get a copy of the book,

the Un-Memoir Memoir, self-help, teaching a lot of stories about here that Josh has gone through and lessons and inspiring things. So make sure you guys pick up a copy of this. It's going to be really insightful stuff. You're all over social media. I think you've got 30 plus million followers. It's Josh Peck everywhere. Twitter, Instagram, Josh Peck official on Facebook. What platform are you

spending the most time on and excited about the most right now? I think it's Instagram. I'm actually Shua Peck. I know I'm all over the place with these handles. Okay. Okay. I'm a mess. Got you. I read it backwards. This is dyslexic. I see things backwards, but I see it. Shua Peck. Yes. On Instagram. But yeah, I would say TikTok and Instagram for sure. TikTok as well. You're going hard on TikTok huh you gotta love it do you like TikTok I do I don't we're posting stuff

on there I know from the show I think we have like 1.5 or 6 million followers I'm sure you got like 30 million on there

no no I mean not crazy just like 20 but I like it I don't go on there that much because every time I go on there

I'm on there for like an hour just oh yeah seeing what are the trends what's happening what's the new stuff out there

and so I try not to look at it for like a week or two at a time and then I spend like an hour or two just down the rabbit hole it's fun

oh yeah it's it's too much though the algorithm knows us better than we know ourselves I get just motivational speech after motivational speech.

Do you? That's awesome. Because that's all I like to watch, really. Do you find, that's interesting because I would also guess that at certain times you're like, enough motivation. Like, this is my business. Yeah. Sometimes I need a release from it. Absolutely.

I mean, they throw in other stuff that I like to I can I mean Just like I have a cat so there's like different cat stuff or animal stuff is always fun for me to just use my eye Got a cat Loved loved dogs. I Probably love dogs more than cats But the amount of responsibility of having a dog is too much for my personality because I put so much love and attention. And I want to be around the dog all the time.

And I want to walk the dog all the time. And so I lose myself and the rest of my life because I put so much on the dog. Right. Because my heart is too big for these animals. So cat, I love cats. But I can leave and I don't feel as bad. Right cat, I love cats, but I can leave and I don't feel as bad. But I just got back from a trip for a few days

and I was missing my cat. I was like, I have a little cat camera that watches to see when the motion is in there. And I'm like, oh, how's my cat? My cat's name is Grady. Grady the podcat. If we were in high school together. Grady the podcat.

I would look at you and I would be like, that guy, he's got it all. And I'd be like athlete, handsome. Yeah, I wasn't handsome back then. Trust me you were. That's what all hot people say. They go like, you should have seen me in high school. I'm like, I'd like to see. I was goofy, man.

Listen, you should have seen me in high school. Oh yeah, I've seen photos of you. It's in reruns. Just check out Teen Nick. And who would have known that you would have been a future cat guy, and that would have really humanized you to be. Cat guy, man. Yeah.

If I had known in high school you'd be a future cat guy, I'd be like, that guy's all right. That guy's not bad. He's not too cool for school. Yeah, exactly. You're the big teen star celebrity up in here. You're too cool for school. Happy people are annoying.

Make sure you guys pick up a copy. Get some for your friends. Share it out. Follow you over on social media. This question I ask, these two final questions, this one I ask people at the end. It's called the three truths question. So imagine a hypothetical scenario. It's your last

day on earth many years away. You live as long as you want, but eventually you got to pass away. And you get to accomplish everything you want to accomplish you live a healthy healthy happy life you've got the family everything happens the way you want it or envision it or better but for whatever reason in this world you've got to take all of your work with you so all the reruns that you're embarrassed by they go with you the books the content the social media anything you share into the world. No one has access to anymore all your message But you get to leave behind three things, you know to be true three lessons you would share with the world

What would be those three truths for you? It takes no courage to critique it takes courage to create Allow a good life to be the result of good living and the bad times are here to teach us and the good times are here to remind us what we're fighting for hmm that sounds that sounds like you've had that memorized for a while and it's good i hope everyone has the opportunity to meet John Stamos once because he's as handsome in person. I'm sure.

That would just be like a footnote. That was like 3.1. Asterisk. Yeah, yeah, asterisk. Because he lives up to the hype. The hair, huh? It's great. It's great.

The whole thing. The whole thing. Oh, yeah. The swag, the smile, the hair. Dude, you should smell him. He smells like a man. Ooh. Smells good.

Smells like an old book. Ooh. Smells good. An old book. Yeah, like It smells like a man. Ooh. It smells like an old book. Ooh. Sounds good. An old book. Yeah. Like the inside of a drawer. Ooh. Cedar.

Cedar. I like this, man. I want to acknowledge you, Josh, for a moment for the journey you've been on. I think growing up, I don't know what it's like to not have a father growing up. I couldn't imagine that. Growing up and turning out to be a decent human being, but also having these kind of different shadows in your teens and early twenties that you learn to face and overcome. I think it's really challenging to face the big challenges in our

life. The unhealthy addictions, losing the weight, losing a hundred pounds. That's seems almost impossible for people when they, when they think of that task, if they've gone that far. So to do that and overcome all the other challenges and also overcome the fear of abandonment and not running away in intimacy and relationships, I think that's probably the thing I want to acknowledge you the most for, for diving into committed relationship, marriage, and not running away. I think it's a really beautiful journey that you've been on. I'm excited to see what you create in service with all this as a foundation moving forward. So I really acknowledge you for this, man.

And I'm excited to see what you build moving forward. My final question, what's your definition of greatness? Oh, man. Oh, my God. I should have been more prepared for this one. Definition. What's my definition of greatness? It's how you affect others.

Yeah. What you do with the great things that are given to you. There you go. I think. That's good, Josh. Thanks, man. Thank you, brother. Appreciate it, are given to you. There you go. I think. That's good, Josh. Thanks, man. Thank you, brother. Appreciate it, brother.

Thank you so much for listening. I hope you enjoyed today's episode and it inspired you on your journey towards greatness. Make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a full rundown of today's show with all the important links. And also make sure to share this with a friend and subscribe over on Apple Podcasts as well. I really love hearing feedback from you guys. So share a review over on Apple and let me know what part of this episode resonated with you the most. And if no one's told you lately, I want to remind you that you are loved, you are worthy

and you matter. And now it's time to go out there and do something great.