The School of Greatness - Live Fully in the Present Moment, Let Go & Achieve ABUNDANCE

Episode Date: December 25, 2023

We've lovingly curated this selection of the most inspiring and transformative conversations from 2023 to bring a little extra warmth and inspiration to your holiday season. Join us as we revisit the wisdom and motivation that made 2023 truly exceptional. Happy Holidays from Lewis and Team Greatness!Eckhart Tolle is widely recognized as one of the most inspiring and visionary spiritual teachers in the world today. With his international bestsellers, The Power of Now and A New Earth—translated into 52 languages—he has introduced millions to the joy and freedom of living life in the present moment. The New York Times has described him as “the most popular spiritual author in the United States”, and in 2011, Watkins Review named him “the most spiritually influential person in the world”.Rhonda Byrne is a visionary, a bestselling author, and a pioneer in the world of personal development. Her work has inspired countless individuals to tap into the power of their thoughts and beliefs, unlocking the secrets to living their best lives. She reflects on the widespread resonance of “The Secret,” dispels common misconceptions about manifestation, and provides guidance for skeptics and newcomers to this transformative field.John C. Maxwell is a #1 New York Times bestselling author, speaker, coach and leader who has sold more than 34 million books in fifty languages. He is the founder of Maxwell Leadership—the leadership development organization created to expand the reach of his principles of helping people lead powerful, positive change. Maxwell’s books and programs have been translated into 70 languages and have been used to train tens of millions of leaders in every nation.In this episode you will learnThe truth about the Law of Attraction and how it goes beyond mere wishful thinking, debunking common misconceptions along the way.Practical strategies to overcome the ego and effectively use visualization as a powerful tool in your manifestation journey.The importance of setting powerful intentions that align with your deepest desires, and learn how to do it effectively.The power of being in the present moment, and the positive ripple effect it has in the world.The character traits and habits that make people irresistible, understanding what draws others towards them effortlessly.For more information go to www.lewishowes.com/1550For more Greatness text PODCAST to [phone]Full episodes:Eckhart Tolle – https://link.chtbl.com/1463-podRhonda Byrne – https://link.chtbl.com/1525-podJohn Maxwell – https://link.chtbl.com/1501-pod

Your entire life unfolds in and as the present moment. That's all there ever is. If your relationship with the present moment is dysfunctional, your entire life is dysfunctional. Make the present moment your friend. Then your whole life begins to change. The main mistake perhaps that people make is... Welcome to the School of Greatness.

My name is Lewis Howes, a former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin. Welcome to this special masterclass. We brought some of the top experts in the world to help you unlock the power of your life through this specific theme today. It's going to be powerful, so let's go ahead and dive in. What type of application or what do people need to be aware of and then take action on in order to start working towards inner peace and harmony?

the present moment. The present moment is the, I sometimes call it the portal into that state of consciousness that we call presence or awareness. Now, the egoic mind, as I call it, the egoic mind is not really interested in the present moment, and it usually tries to obscure the present moment. It's interested in some other imagined moment, but not this past and future. Yes, it ignores the present moment in your life. It's the foundation for everything. And your relationship to the present moment determines how the future evolves, what we call future, which, by the way, never arrives. Because when it arrives, it's again the present moment.

Yes. So the realization that all you ever have, all that you can ever experience, is intrinsically linked with the present moment. It's inseparable from the present moment. Your entire life unfolds in and as the present moment, that all there ever is. The past, when the past happened, it was the present moment. It couldn't happen anywhere else. And when you remember the past, you remember it in the present moment. The future, when the future comes, when tomorrow comes, it won't be tomorrow anymore. It will be the now. There was a British pub in London that had, I lived in London for many years.

They had a sign on the bar that says, free beer tomorrow. And of course, tomorrow never comes. So the sign is always true. That's funny. So if you go the next day, say, no, tomorrow. Tomorrow. Wow, that's funny. So tomorrow actually never comes.

Of course, we need to make plans on a practical level. The future is indispensable. We need a future for us to get together here to talk, to stipulate day and time for connecting. So on a practical level, we cannot do without future. But on the deeper level, on the a practical level, we cannot do without future. But on the deeper level, on the deeper psychological level, it's important to realize that the future as such does not actually exist because all you can ever experience or have is the present moment.

Yes. So that's the starting point. It begins with the realization of the absolute primary importance of the present moment. This is all you ever have. So you might as well have a good relationship with the present moment, because if your relationship with the present moment is dysfunctional, your entire life is dysfunctional. Right. So if someone watching or listening is saying, well, my present is really challenging right now. Yes. I'm, I'm, I've got a lot of debt. I've, you know,

I feel I've got some sickness in my body and my health is not there. My, you know, I'm going through a divorce or breakup. The career is not as good as I want it to be. There's some type of pain in the present. Yeah. How can I actually enjoy the present when I'm in breakdown everywhere? Yeah. Let's leave aside for a moment physical pain. It's another story, but the psychological pain that's there

is, again, associated with certain situations. It's associated with your life situation, which may be problematic on some level, whether it's financial or relationship or work situation or living situation or health situation. It's very likely that at any given time your life situation will be problematic on at least one of these levels. And sometimes it's not just one, it's two or three or four becomes really problematical. You lose all your money, you lose your job, your wife leaves you, or you lose your home.

These things can do sometimes happen. So you have that. And again, that's usually these life challenges, situational challenges, are usually perceived as being part of the present moment, but they're not really the present moment. They are what I call your life situation. But other than your life situation, you have something that I call your life. Life situation exists in time.

Life is now. And never not now. And since your life is now, you have to ask yourself, yes, I have all these problems. I don't know how I'm going to pay the rent, maybe. Or my relationship is a problem. I'm in the middle of divorce proceedings, all these things that happen to people. Or I've just been let go, or my company has collapsed, or whatever. It might collapse. Maybe it's doing well, but it may not do well next year. All kinds of things that are perceived as problematic,

which sometimes are real, and sometimes are just imagination. Again, we need to differentiate between when people say they're having big problems. Sometimes they are just in the mind, because they think of things that might go wrong. And other times, there are actually real challenges happening around you. But here again, it's to single out the present moment and not to ignore action that you might take or have to take in order to change certain situations? Is there any action that I can take? That's a secondary question.

It's important, but it's secondary. Primary question I often ask people, what problem do you have at this moment? And then they usually start by saying, well, I'm running out of money or I'm living in this unpleasant place. Why do I say, no, no, running out of money, it's not this, just this moment, right here and now. What problem do you have here and now in this moment?

in this moment. And then you look around, maybe you become aware that you're breathing, and you look around, and then you reluctantly sometimes, people have to admit, well, okay, I'm ready to admit that at just this moment, there isn't actually a problem.

The next one there might be, but the next one is again this. Of course, at this moment, you may have a challenge that you immediately need to deal with. If you're going for a walk and you encounter a wild animal coming towards you, you don't say, I don't have any problems at this moment. That's a challenge that you need to deal with, but we wouldn't call it a problem. I mean, I sometimes go for walks in the forest, and usually there are bears here. So if you encounter a bear, that is not a problem, it's a challenge, and you deal with it. Either you run away or you don't. Whatever you do, you deal with it. The problem lives in the mind. to give much more attention to the present moment and realize that in the present moment,

the problem cannot survive. Say that one more time, in the present moment? The problem, any problem you have cannot survive in the present moment because problem is a burden that you carry in your mind, your mental emotional field. That's what a problem is. The rest is situations

and circumstances. Either you leave them alone if there's nothing you can do, or you take some action. But they're not a problem. Either you act or you don't act. And if you don't act, you take your attention into the present moment and see that it's actually okay. And I've read often get correspondence from people in prison. They're in prison and they, we have, through my foundation, we are sending

thousands and thousands of books to prisons and for prisoners to read. I often get communication people realize that in their present cell, they realize that actually, I have no problem. In other words, they come to a complete alignment with the present moment. There's no longer an entity that says this should not be happening, because that's where the suffering arises.

And of course, prison is a situation where you probably can't take much action, where you can try to escape, but you probably won't succeed. Right, right, right. You've got to accept and surrender. Yes. So there's always the action may need to be taken, but if no action is possible, then you come to a place of surrender. But it's positive surrender, not negative surrender. Positive surrender is an uncompromising

yes to the present moment. An uncompromising yes to what is. That is a place of great inner power that arises with yes, this is what is. That's the starting point. So you're not arguing with the is-ness of things, because that's insane. You cannot argue with what is, and this constant arguing with what is, this actually amplifies

the ego, the egoic consciousness. The ego loves to argue with what is. It loves enemies, and the ego makes the present moment into an enemy. Right. Can you see how insane that is? You make the present moment into your enemy because that's all you ever have. That means you make your whole life into an enemy because your whole life is the present moment. Right.

So I sometimes say, make the present moment your friend, not your enemy. Make the present moment your friend. Then your whole life begins to change because what we call future is just an extension of your state of consciousness in the present moment. So if your state of consciousness is negative, it is very likely that you will experience much more negativity in the so-called future. Right. If you're in the present moment, you're in a place of acceptance, of positive acceptance, then it's very likely that the present,

the so-called future, I always say so-called future because the future as such doesn't exist. It always comes, it's a now. Yes. So the so-called future reflects your state of consciousness in the present moment. So that's really a very important realization. So that is how the absolute importance of your state of consciousness here and now. What is your state of consciousness now?

consciousness here and now. What is your state of consciousness now? Rather than thinking that something else is more important than my state of consciousness. So in any situation you're faced with, any situation, what is the state of consciousness with which you face the situation? Are you in a state of resistance or negativity towards the situation? Because in any endeavor that you undertake, inevitably, obstacles will arise in anything. You want to create something new. Obstacles come in many forms, sometimes in the form of human beings who don't like you to do what you're doing, or it can come in the form of human beings who don't like you to do what you're doing, or it can come in the form of other structures that are in society, the rigid structures.

So you get all kinds of bureaucratic obstacles or whatever the obstacles are. So how do you face an obstacle? What is your state of consciousness when an obstacle arises? Do you immediately become angry? Do you become despondent? Or do you start complaining in your mind of people and talking about how awful this situation is and complaining? Or are you able to just immediately say, this is what is. So you face the obstacle, not in a state of resistance, come from a state of power. This is what

is, and then when you are in that state of presence, very often a right action arises spontaneously. And you do, you find yourself doing the right thing because you are not making the situation into an enemy.

And this is very important. If you want to achieve great things, a huge obstacle for people is to start complaining and building up stress when things go wrong. In other words, things should be happening. So they become negative. They become unpleasant. They become unpleasant to people, colleagues and people they work with. And a lot of negative energy can build up in a company and so on. And that is not some of the most effective people in this world. There are perhaps a few. They don't work with negativity. They work immediately with a positive attitude. Yes.

They don't make the present moment into an enemy. They might never have heard any spiritual teaching, so perhaps that is some kind of innate wisdom that they have, or maybe they've learned this lesson in a past lifetime. Who knows? So the important thing is always start with the present moment. And again, what problem do I have now in the is there a problem here and now just this moment well actually no not not really not the problem isn't here the problem is in the mind but it's not here that's a place of power and then then you become you become aligned with the power of now, the power of the present moment,

which is the power of consciousness itself beyond the ego. Far, far powerful. The ego is only like the reflected light, like the moon reflects the light of the sun, and the moon reflects the light of the sun and the ego reflects the light of consciousness. It's not power. There's no power in ego itself. In the same way, there's no light in the moon. It's just reflected light. Wow. Yeah, that's powerful.

This has been fascinating so far. I'm sure we could talk about consciousness and suffering for hours, but I want to get to a few other concepts here. One of them being about the law of attraction, because you mentioned kind of synchronicities and serendipities and kind of this idea of when we align ourselves to consciousness and to more harmony thoughts, to more peaceful thoughts. In my experience, things just come. The right things that I'm intending, they happen very quickly and unexpectedly. I would love to hear your thoughts on your definition of the law of

attraction, but also maybe the three habits that you see people doing the most that hurt them from attracting effortlessly using the law of attraction. Right. Well, the main mistake perhaps that people make is not coming from a place of not coming from a place of fullness, but coming from a place of neediness, and putting too much attention on what is the undesirable conditions that they want to get rid of, but mentally almost continuously focusing on the undesirable condition, not enough money for example that's just a problem for many people uh so so let's use let's use money for the example then the law of attraction with money how could we attract more wealth or financial abundance in our life using the law of attraction? Yeah. Well, first of all is the acknowledgement of abundance that is already here and now, and not focusing on the lack of abundance that is here now, which you could find by thinking about

it, but to actually focus on where is the abundance that I can find here and now. And that is all around you. It is in nature. When you look at the abundance of nature, the multiplicity of life forms, the wonder of nature, the abundance of evil, or let's say you're in a city, you can look at, appreciate all the things that you see around you. You don't need to necessarily own it or buy it, just appreciate it. So this, the appreciation of the goodness of life that is always all around you, even if you have no money, there's still the goodness of life is all around you. You see it all around you.

The sunshine, I mean, the sun is the ultimate symbol of abundance because it gives energy of itself almost eternal. I mean, eventually the sun will die, but as far as we are concerned, it's virtually eternal. It pours out energy continuously. And at some point, we will realize that even on the level of energy, the universe is infinitely abundant. So we will no longer need The universe is infinitely abundant, so we will no longer need things that we're using now, fossil fuels and those things. We have access to other forms of energy that are more helpful. So how can people let go of their frustration of really wanting something to happen now versus knowing when it's the right timing for it to come into the world.

Right. So the difference is just simply belief. So you have to believe you have it already. So if I explain what my belief was like, my belief was a notch above believing it had already happened. Mine was knowing it had already happened. What's the difference between believing and knowing? Because knowing is the highest you can get. And it's actually knowing is beyond the mind, but you can manifest with believing too. So I didn't just believe this had happened. I absolutely knew it. Wow.

And I knew it and I knew what it. Wow. that I felt like I had already lived the entire journey of making it and it coming out, and that I had such a great time that I was reliving it. But what I'm hearing you say is believing can really help you in a big way, but knowing is what unlocks manifestation into another level. Yeah, knowing it's just done. I mean, there have been times for everybody when they knew something, they absolutely knew something was going to happen before it happened. So let's say- And how do they know that?

Yes. How did you know that? And you don't know how you knew it. It's like an intuition or a feeling or something. Yeah, right. You knew it. Like somebody is having a baby and they don't know what sex it is. But you're like, oh, I know it's a girl. I absolutely know it's a girl. And everybody thinks you're just guessing like everybody else.

No, you're like, I know it. I know it's a girl. Or there's a spinning wheel and you all of a sudden you're like, I know it's going to be number 11. I know it. And it's number 11. But you knew it. Absolutely knew it. How does that happen? Yeah.

Because it's above the mind. It's above the mind. So you definitely know it. That's crazy. So you don't have to be at knowing to manifest. You just have to be at believing. And might I just say that you just have to be more believing than not believing. So that person who's not, you know, they're waiting and it hasn't manifested and they're here and here.

The difference is they're not believing it is done already. The moment they're believing more that it's done than it hasn't arrived, it'll manifest. How do we stay patient? See, well, if you need patience, you're not believing it's manifested, right? Interesting. So is there, can you give me..., you're not believing it's manifested, right? Interesting. So you're done for right there. So give me an example. Give me an example if there's an example in your life personally or something you've seen from a friend or someone who's read the book where they were like, man, I've been waiting for this to happen.

It's been 10 years. I feel like it's supposed to happen. I'm believing it's happening, but I haven't got the thing that I've wanted yet or haven't, it hasn't happened yet. It hasn't come to fruition yet. Right. Should I have more patience in manifesting? Should I expect it's already here now? What should I do? Okay. So I've definitely had some people do that. One in particular, she was wanting to have a baby and get pregnant.

She had visualized, visualized, visualized, visualized getting pregnant. She had been doing affirmations. She'd been grateful that she was getting pregnant. And she's like, still, I'm not pregnant. Now, I just, and I think she'd even done IVF and that hadn't worked. And so she'd sort of given up. She's tried lots of things. Yeah.

And I just knew that for a woman who can't get pregnant, getting pregnant has a lot of resistance around it. Because when you've not been able to get pregnant, get pregnant, get pregnant, there's like real resistance around that getting pregnant. And so much so that the resistance was outweighing her resistance that I'm not pregnant yet was outweighing her visualization and all the other things. So I said to her, I don't want you to visualize that. I want you to visualize holding the baby. Because that's the outcome, right? That's the end result.

You don't want to be pregnant for the rest of your life, right? You want to be holding the baby. So I said to her, I want you to visualize holding the baby. I want you to hear the baby. I want you to feel it in your arms. Wow. Pregnant in a month. Wow.

And I've done that with a lot of women. This is, you know, even you saying that I'm not a woman, but it's like imagining, you know, a child coming into my life from my partner and hearing the baby, having the baby against my chest, being born, you know, feeling the heartbeat of the child yeah next to my heartbeat having this beautiful moment like i'm already seeing the future happening now yeah by experiencing that feeling as opposed to like i'm feeling it oh i know you better be careful you better be careful i know right do you want to have children now i do at the right time yes okay at the right time yes yes okay yeah but it's like when you feel that and you really imagine and experience that feeling it's as if it's already happened or it's happening yeah and you're feeling

it and therefore you're allowing that to come to you and you're allowing that as opposed to resisting it yeah where this person or friend of yours was like i really want this come here come here but uh but like it's not here yet because so many so many disappointments you see you know women i know go through a lot who can't get pregnant so there's just one disappointment after another, or maybe they got pregnant and then they miscarried. And somebody else, there are two Australian girls, volleyball players, and they're playing in the Olympic Games. And these girls were just so brilliant, so clever. They were not at all the favourites, far from the favourites. They were way down the chart. And what they did was they filled their entire apartment with gold awards.

They got everything gold leading up to the Olympic Games and they had gold everywhere. They bought all these awards everywhere, gold. Do you think anyone could have beaten them at the Olympic Games? Wow. No Games? Wow. No chance. Wow. The ball was going to bounce in the perfect way.

They were going to be in the exact perfect position. You see, because so when we talk about action, the kind of action that you have to do for when you have used the mind, that action's effortless. That's why writing The Secret Book was effortless. It's effortless. But if you go out into the world and you're like, make this happen, and you want to do all the action, oh, you're going to struggle. Oh, it's going to be hard. You might get there eventually, but it's going to be harder than it should be. And you'll get there eventually, but you only get there eventually because you think it

gradually bit by bit. That's the only reason you get there because you had the thought, oh, things are getting better. I'm starting to see successes coming. You're having these little thoughts along the way. That's the only reason you make it. You cannot do anything in the world without thought. Nothing. You show me one invention that's happened without thought. Right, you have to imagine it first. Right.

You have to come up with it in your mind. And then you alchemize and create it in the world. Exactly. And so for those girls- You have to think it first, yeah. Yes, so for those girls you see, they lived with that gold and saw themselves winning gold. And so that, and I bet if you ask them, they would say winning that gold was effortless for them.

That they just got the right breaks and everything happened the right way for them because it would. Wow. And you know, sports people are so amazing at visualizing winning right and then it it does look effortless for them because they're in the flow yeah they're not working hard they're working they're they're effortlessly moving to their desired result right how do we navigate the ego when when let's say, when success comes our way? You know, whether these girls who win the gold medal, you know, an athlete, and you selling millions of copies in the first year or months or whatever

and getting all these opportunities. How do we navigate the ego from not consuming us, but success actually allowing us to multiply into greater success. Yeah. Really good question. How did you navigate that? You just certainly have to remain humble, you know, terrible situation where they made one mistake and just everything, you know, the whole world turned against them. So you have to remain humble. Otherwise, truly, you're in for a really rough ride. And you could visualize all the most wonderful things and you could achieve all of that

and manifest all of that. But if you don't remain humble, because if you look at it anyway, you never did it on your own. Like even if you just look at physically in the world, I mean, I knew we had the universe behind us. I felt it with every step that we took, but even I've got the most incredible team. I mean, we did intentions meetings at 11 o'clock every morning and where we intended and in those meetings we were celebrating the secret having swept the world and having become a global phenomenon that's what we did in those meetings before the book came out oh yeah but we danced and we celebrated that that's what you've got to do you had the feeling of joy and excitement and that was already it was already done. Wow. Yeah. If you want to go traveling,

if you want to see the world and you're like, I don't have any money, how will I ever go traveling? Straight away, law of attraction says, okay, done. You know, I don't have any money or, but if you want to go traveling, get out your your suitcase This is the funniest thing you said is because my my fiancee Martha She's Mexican and grew up in this Mexican traditions and over the holidays I don't know this never happened to me growing up in America, but over the holidays They would do this thing around Christmas and New Year's her family. I believe this is a Mexican tradition But her family they'll all get this is a Mexican tradition, but her family, they'll all

get out suitcases during the holidays and say, where do you want to go next year? And then we leave the house with the suitcase and say, we're going to Japan. We walk out and we skip down the sidewalk with a suitcase, me and Martha did, and then each family member does this and tells the experience of where they went. I'm going here, and this is where it's going to feel like, and the experience, and it's this joy and excitement talking about the trip. And we take the suitcase out the door, and then we come back, and we tell the experience and we said this this last year japan and now i i believe we literally just booked our trip to japan happening in like a month oh i was gonna say you are going to japan yeah it's happening no it's happening yeah well but even though i didn't know when or

how at the end of last year we set an intention he did we celebrated it we talked about it and we allowed the universe to open up to see when is this possible how is this possible what are we going to be doing right and things are coming to us in a way that's going to create a beautiful magical experience oh so fantastic but we took our luggage out and so i don't know if this is like a mexican tradition but this is amazing so literally what you said they do every year is really cool because it sets that intention. Yes, acting as if is what it is. It's acting as if you already have it.

Like I remember there was this lady who wanted to be in the audience on the Oprah show when I was going to be on there. And the audience was completely full. It was booked out. But what she did was she got her suitcase out and she got a flight to Chicago. I mean, this is somebody really, really game. And she gets a call, a message on her phone

when she lands in Chicago to say, come to the studio, we've got a seat for you. Yeah. But she had already intended it and went there. She had to get a seat. This is fascinating. Because she really believed in you. So acting as if, like I know I wrote this in one of my books,

but there was this woman who wanted a horse. She couldn't afford to buy a horse. So she went and bought the bridle. And she put the bridle on her table in front of her and looked at that bridle every day. Is that the saddle? Is the bridle a saddle? The bridle, I think it's the, I'm not a really great horse. Like the mouthpiece?

Yeah, the straps that go around the head kind of thing, I think. straps that go around the head kind of thing, I think. And within a couple of weeks, she, through actually the most extraordinary set of circumstances, she got offered a horse. My goodness. Yeah. Through someone, through someone, through someone, through someone, and she got offered a horse. But of course, she was acting as if she already had the horse. She bought the bridles. So, and I always say the universe abhors a vacuum. Say it again. The universe abhors a vacuum.

So abhors is A-B-H-O-R-S, abhors the universe, dislikes a vacuum. The universe can't tolerate a vacuum. It has to fill it. So if you create a vacuum, which is why like for all the people who want to meet their perfect partner and you go to their house and their wardrobe is totally full and there's no room for their partner's clothes, right? And they sleep in the middle of the bed. Where does their partner sleep?

Right? Right. So you've got to create a vacuum. And so you're going to sleep on that side of the bed. So the partner sleeps there. You've got to make room in the bathroom. You need to make room in the closet. You've created a vacuum.

Then the person can come into your life. That's so funny you say this as well because Martha, my fiance, when she was single before we started dating, she bought herself a home and she was going to buy a queen size bed. But her coach was like, well, are you trying to, you know, what type of man are you trying to attract? She was like, well, you know, a king, you know, I'm trying to attract my king in my life, right? Not saying that I'm a king or whatever, but like, I'm trying to attract. And she was just saying, explain, what is he, what's he look like is he is he short is he tall is he you know and she was like nah he's like six four and uh you know he's an athlete and he's he needs space

right and her coach was like well you can't buy a queen or full-size bed if you want to attract a bigger guy you need space like you said you need to attract a bigger guy. You need space. Like you said, you need to have a bigger. So for a number of months, she had this big king-size bed. And she's tiny. She's like 5'2", right? So she was, but she was sleeping on this big bed. She's like, ah, is this weird because I have this extra space? But she allowed room for me to be there as well.

How amazing. And you hear this with. Your life is full of these stories, right? I know, it's funny. It's so good. And you hear a lot of, I'm of these stories right so good and you hear a lot of i'm assuming you know mothers to be they create rooms with a crib and they have the room ready for the that's like creating a vacuum right it is for the baby to them good observation right

a lot of mothers do this nesting or whatever it might be right great observation that's another example of like okay i'm struggling yeah getting pregnant but let me just intend and set the intention that there will be a child here yes but i gotta do it before it comes yes and you know what people might say some people might say oh no you might jinx it come on come on are come on. Are you going to believe that thought? Don't believe that thought. Don't believe any thought that you don't deserve things. You deserve everything you want. Everybody deserves everything they want and there's no shortage. Yes. This is a card you talk about with negative thoughts. How do we, when we want something, how do we learn to navigate the negative thoughts that come and go? Because not all of us are going to be able to have perfect positive thoughts all day long,

especially when there's challenge or breakdown or maybe some financial strain or pain, physical pain. So how do we navigate negative thoughts based on what you've talked about? The secret really is to become more aware of what's going on in your mind. And you might, to begin with, just become aware of your feelings, you know, and all of a sudden, you're not feeling very good. And I promise you, if you're not feeling very good, it's because you've had a whole lot of negative thoughts that you've been giving your attention to. And I promise you, if you're not feeling very good, it's because you've had a whole lot of negative thoughts that you've been giving your attention to. And that's why you don't feel very good. And so you need to become more aware. And so I just had somebody

yesterday say to me that they spiraled downward in a particular situation, and then they kind of came out of it and they were like, why did I do that? Why did I let all of those thoughts get me down like that? And I said to her, but you know what? What you did is amazing because you saw it. You know, even if you went down with it, you still saw it. You came out of it and you're like, look what happened. That was all negative thoughts.

But you caught it. You were aware of it. You caught it. And so for me, like really early on, you know, I would only realize a couple of days later or, but the more that you do it, the faster that you catch it. but the more that you do it the faster that you catch it and a negative thought feels so alien now or negative thoughts feel so alien that they're foreign to you now yeah well most people it's negative thoughts are so familiar because that's all they know is negative thinking i know

you get in a trap or in a cycle of thinking. You wake up negative. You wake up frustrated, resentful. And you follow through and you go to sleep frustrated and negative thinking. And it is a familiar feeling. I've been there in the past. It just becomes a familiarity of just everything is against me. The world is against me. This person is trying to take advantage of me.

Negative, negative negative negative yeah and it can feel like you're in a trap or you're stuck it can feel extremely hard to get out of it but the more we practice what i'm hearing you say the more we practice catching it and being aware of it yeah and practicing having replacing with a different type of positive empowering thought that's right then the more of positive, empowering thought. That's right. Then the more familiar that will start to feel as well. That's right. It's just a pattern that is, the mind's just a program.

Yes. You know, it's just a program. So it's programmed right now based on what each of us have been putting into it. Those that you've really taught and trained and you coach some of the greatest leaders in the world business sports you know all these different things what are the habits that make them irresistible and able to manifest and create more in their life obviously the quality and the intention of service and helping others and giving is a big intention that they have that brings them joy. But what would you say are those qualities that just make them so

that people want to follow them, that people want to give them opportunities, that people will like, things fall in their lap. What makes them so irresistible? I think having a joy about life and about people. I was having a conversation one time with a very successful person, very funny person, comedian. And he said, you know, it's hard to be funny if you don't have fun.

He says, funny comes out of fun. And that made perfect sense to me. And when he said that, I hadn't thought about it until he told me, but I thought that's exactly right. If you have fun in life and you have joy in life, then you begin to be irresistible. Are you a lifter or are you a leaner?

You know, I mean, it's, LMA Wilcox wrote that poem. What was it? I haven't said this for a long time. I say, there are two kinds of people on earth today. Just two kinds of people. No more I say, not the good and the bad for it's well understood.

The good or half bad, the bad or half good. No, there's two kinds of people in life. I mean, it's the people who lift and the people who lean. And honestly, if, I mean, it's the people who lift and the people who lean. And honestly, if you are a plus in people's lives, they want to be around you. How do you teach relationships? I'm either a plus in people's lives or I'm a minus in people's lives. I'm either a plus in people's lives or I'm a minus in people's lives. I'm either adding joy to them and intentionally being kind,

or else some people, they get up and they say, who's going to make my day today? Robert Louis Stevens said, I love this quote. He said, I consider the success of my day based on the seeds I sow, not the harvest I reap. And what he understood was if you're just constantly sowing seeds, the harvest is automatic. My gosh. I mean, I'm reaping a huge harvest today. In fact, it's embarrassing to me.

And I look at it and I think, how did this all happen? Well, I know how it happened. I've sown seeds all my life. And so, you know, if I decide to be a plus for you, you're going to want me to be around you. And if I decide that I'm going to be a minus and I'm going to, you know, expect you every day to quote, make my day, I'm going to drag on you. And there's nothing contagious about a selfish person. I mean, there really isn't. But there's something very contagious about a happy, joyful, giving individual who really loves to add value to others. So, I mean, I think, and I think, by the way, I think people, Dan Ryland, who was on my staff one time, gave me a great definition of charisma.

He said, it's not a personality. People with charisma, their interest is in other people. And people that lack charisma, their interest is in themselves. And I think that's very true. I think we sometimes assign things to personality instead of intentionality. And I think any person that wants to, they can immediately make a change there. They can say, look, I'm going to change my behavior here. I'm going to serve and add value to people and quit being such a drag in people's lives.

But I think people that are minus Lewis, I don't think most of them know it. I don't think they realize it. I certainly don't think that they're intentional. They can't be intentional. Surely people don't get up and just say, I want to screw somebody's day up. It's more unconscious, yeah. Yeah, but I think if you are a plus in people's lives, I think it's very conscious because I don't think it's natural. I think it's natural for us to be selfish. So if, if, if I, if I'm going to sow seed

and give and serve, I think I go against what's natural. And so therefore, successful people develop, they develop habits that may not be natural, but are greatly beneficial. It's interesting. I'll share a quick story with you to add to this because when I, you know, being in central Ohio, I was living in Columbus, Ohio after I was playing arena football.

I went to pursue the NFL. I played arena ball, got injured, broke my wrist, and then I was sleeping on my sister's couch for a year and a half thinking, what am I going to do with my life? I have no skills. I didn't graduate college. I barely passed to stay in college. It was all just to go try to live this dream of being a professional athlete. That's it. Just focus on sports and girls.

That was pretty much it. There you go. And when I got injured, I realized, oh, I can't go play ball anymore. What am I going to do now? I'm 24. I have no – in my mind, I'm thinking I have no skills for a career. It was 2007, 2008, that time frame when the economy crashed and people with masters weren't getting jobs and it was just challenging. So I was like, how am I going to do something with my life?

I ended up reaching out to as many people on LinkedIn in Columbus that were executive CEOs that I could to learn about their stories. I never asked for advice. I never said, can you give me a job? Can you help me? I just said, I want to learn how their stories. I never asked for advice. I never said, can you give me a job? Can you help me? Sure. I just said, I want to learn how you became successful. It's inspiring what you've created. I started hosting these networking events and going to events as well in Columbus and then around the country.

And as I would go to these events, all I would do is ask people questions about their success, about their challenges they overcame. And I would never say anything about myself. And people at the end of the conversation would always be like, man, you're like the most interesting person here. Thank you so much for asking me these questions. And I didn't say anything about me. And sometimes asking questions can be the greatest gift you give someone than trying to be this personality and interesting and say stuff about you. So I went into it not knowing what to do, not thinking I had value, but just opening someone's heart and mind to their life story is such a gift as well.

Oh, that's beautiful. What I love about your story is the fact that you weren't even intentional. You were just trying to learn yourself about success. But because you were talking about them and asking questions about them, that goes back to that charisma definition, that it was all about them. And all of a sudden you realize this was making you the most popular guy at the party. And I'd always ask them, like, what's your biggest challenge right now? And they'd say, well, I'm looking for someone to help me with a website design. I'm looking for an engineer.

I'm looking for a salesperson. And since I've been connecting with so many different types of people, I was like, oh, I know the right person for you. And I would call them and I'd put them on the phone with them right there. I was like, here, just you guys connect and hopefully it helps both of you. And I became a connector of opportunities because I was like, I don't have the skill. I can't do this for you, but I know someone that could. Of course. And that became a valuable asset and gift that I could give people. But I didn't know what I was going to do. And that curiosity and trying to add as much value as possible really gave me a lot in return over the long term. I was planting seeds, as you were saying, all those conversations,

and that helped me in the long run. And look where you are now. I mean, look where you are and look how you got there. In fact, when I hear your story, which is just incredible, I talk to people all the time and I say, don't go to the next job. Grow to the next job. Because if you grow to it, it's natural. So you started asking questions and your job training right there for what you do. And it was a natural evolution and you grew to where you are today. I mean, you didn't sit on your sister's couch and say, I'm going to go be this incredible talk show host and

personality. No, I'm just going gonna go talk to people and so it was natural so when you when you grow to where you go it feels comfortable to you yeah when you go somewhere it's very uncomfortable you think okay now what do I need to know but this for this job and the whole process and but you're a beautiful example Lewis of growing I appreciate it thank you growing constantly growing this I was telling you Thank you. Growing. Constantly growing. And I was telling you before we started, this is 10 years of this show for me. And I feel blessed and grateful every day I get to sit down with someone like you who's got experience and wisdom that I can learn from and share this with others.

And, again, you've got a wealth of information, more than just leadership, obviously, and communication. You know, 50 plus years in marriage, you're probably like the foremost expert on marriage also in the world right now, since no one stays married that long. But I did want to ask you a few questions about leadership before I went into communication. Because you've got an amazing new book out about communication, which we'll talk about here in a second, but you've been in the leadership game for a long time. And I'm curious, what are the two or three leadership qualities that were the same 50 years ago, as you were kind of entering into this world, and learning about this, you know, content and style of influence. And so what are the things that are the same from 50 years ago? And then what is something maybe that has evolved in leadership and communication over the last decade that you see is a great asset

to bring to the table and learn and develop and grow into as a leader? That's a great question, Lewis. What got me into the leadership game was when I was in my 20s, I came to the conclusion, and this is what I'm known for, everything rises and falls on leadership. I became totally convinced of this. I studied successful people like you. convinced of this. I've studied successful people like you. And one day I can remember saying, the key to success is being able to lead well. And when I wrote the 21 Laws of Leadership, the first law is the law of the lid. How well you lead determines how well you succeed. So everything rises and falls on leadership. When I became convinced that that was true,

I also became convinced that that was something worthy of my time, that I could give my life to that. Because if it's true that everything rises and falls on leadership, if I can teach people how to lead, what an added value is going to be to them. So that I knew 50 years ago. I'm 76 now. What's beautiful about that is today,

I believe it more than I believed at 26. It's been proven thousands of times that everything rises and falls on leadership. So I've given my life to something that really works and that is a true principle. So, and by the way, on rising, when leadership is good, there are two things that causes it to rise and there are two things that causes it to fall. This is very simple.

What causes leadership to rise is good leadership skills and good values. And you have to have both of them. You can't substitute one for the other. I know you have very good leadership skills, but they have very poor values. And what happens is if you have good leadership skills, but you don't have good values, you'll manipulate people and you'll be unfair to people. You know, it's not right to manipulate people. What are two or three skills and values that you've seen have proven the test of time

of all types of leadership and all industries and avenues of life? Well, one of the leadership skills that is so essential is a soft skill, but it's foundational for leadership, and that is good relationships. You know, people won't go along with you if they can't get along with you. Ooh. So, you know, you have to really,

in fact, I tell leaders all the time, quit leading. When you stop loving people, stop leading people, because it's not going to work if that makes sense to you. And so that's huge. And that's one of the things that we talk a lot about. The skill of the ability to cast vision. To cast a vision, is that what you said? Yeah, to cast a vision. To cast a vision? Is that what you said? Yeah, to cast a vision. See, a lot of people can see something, but they can't cast it to make it contagious. How do you cast the vision to make

it contagious? Well, it has to be contagious with you. And then secondly, you have to understand that you need others to accomplish it. So that's what causes you to cast it. See, so there are a lot of people that are successful, but they're not leaders. They have a vision for themselves. They have a vision for their entrepreneurial. Perhaps they have a vision for their business. And so they do very well for themselves, but they don't lead others to it. But, you know, when the vision is bigger than you, you have no choice. You've got to relate well to people. Then you have to make your vision contagious to people to get them to join you.

Because, you know, one is too small of a number to achieve greatness. And so you have to have the ability to develop and create teams. That's a huge leadership skill. I hope you enjoyed today's episode and it inspired you on your journey towards greatness. Make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a full rundown of today's episode with all the important links. And I want to remind you, if no one has told you lately that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter. And now it's time to go out there and do something great.