The School of Greatness - Manifest Your Dream Future With THIS Mindset EP 1392

Episode Date: February 11, 2023

https://lewishowes.com/mindset - Order a copy of my new book The Greatness Mindset today! Triple-board certified nutrition expert and Fitness Hall of Famer JJ Virgin is a passionate advocate of eating and exercising smarter. JJ helps people stay fired up and healthy as they age, so they look and feel their best in their 40s, 50s, 60s, and beyond.JJ is a prominent TV and media personality, whose previous features include co-host of TLC’s Freaky Eaters, two years as the on-camera nutritionist for Weight Loss Challenges on Dr. Phil, and numerous appearances on PBS, Dr. Oz, Rachael Ray, Access Hollywood, and the TODAY Show. She also speaks regularly and has shared the stage with notables including Seth Godin, Tony Robbins, Lisa Nichols, Gary Vaynerchuk, Mark Hyman, Dan Buettner, and Mary Morrissey.JJ is the author of four New York Times best sellers: The Virgin Diet, The Virgin Diet Cookbook, JJ Virgin’s Sugar Impact Diet, and JJ Virgin’s Sugar Impact Diet Cookbook. Her latest book, Warrior Mom: 7 Secrets to Bold, Brave Resilience, shows caregivers everywhere how to be strong, positive leaders for their families, while exploring the inspirational lessons JJ learned as she fought for her own son’s life.JJ hosts the popular Ask the Health Expert podcast, with over 14 million downloads and growing. She regularly writes for Medium, Mind Body Green, and other major blogs and magazines. JJ is also a business coach who founded The Mindshare Summit, which has become the premier health-entrepreneur event and community. In this episode, you will learn:How to break out of your comfort zone.How to forgive your past mistakes, so that you can move forward.The mindset that will lead you on the path of escaping your depression.The keys to attracting abundance into your life.For more, go to www.lewishowes.com/1392Stop Sabotaging Your Relationships & Do This Instead: https://link.chtbl.com/1337-podThe High 5 Habit & The Secret To Motivation: https://link.chtbl.com/1170-podThe “Secret” Mindset Habit to Building Confidence and Overcoming Scarcity: https://link.chtbl.com/970-pod

Okay, so if you haven't heard the news yet, I've got a new book out called The Greatness Mindset. Unlock the power of your mind and live your best life today. It's coming out soon, and I'm pumped to invite you to be a part of the launch team for this book. This is a rare opportunity to get your questions answered and network with other champions of greatness in this exclusive community of conscious achievers. If you're ready to receive early access to the first few chapters of the book, behind the scenes updates from me, plus VIP access to bonuses and giveaways, then this is for you. For instructions about how to join this greatness launch team, make sure to go to lewishouse.com slash launch team right now. Again, make sure to check it out at lewishouse.com slash launch team right now. Again, make sure to check it out at LewisHowes.com

slash launch team right now. Every day you look for any little win that tells you that you're going in the right direction. And sometimes it was a very small win. This has to sit up on top of everything you do in your life, whether you're trying to work on your business or your finances or your relationship or your health. If you don't believe you're good enough, if your mindset's not there, you're going to be... Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, a former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time

with me today. Now let the class begin. Welcome to today's special episode. Over the last 1300 plus episodes, there have been so many impactful interviews that I've been lucky enough to have. And I always like to reflect on some of the most powerful. And this episode was one that resonated with most of you guys in the past. And I'm excited for the value it's going to bring you today as well. So I hope you enjoy today's episode. Why Miracle Mindset? Why making this transition? And what is it exactly about? Well, you know, what's so interesting is it seems like you know i've been going down this path and i went but the reality is we queried my community a couple months ago and we said all right if you are not where you want to be in your

health why is it now i expected to hear i can't give up my cheese right or i'm just like i'm a sugar addict right okay because i mean come on like you know i'm all about getting rid of gluten and dairy and lowering your sugar impact so what i heard was blew my mind and not what i expected here's what it was i don't feel good enough. I am not worthy. And I realized that, you know, heck, strategies abound, right? There's no shortage of strategies on how to lose weight, how to get more energy. But if your mindset's not dialed in, if you don't feel good enough, if you don't feel worthy, we're trying to hit a mindset issue with strategies and we'll fail every time. So, in reality, it might look like I've taken this,

you know, diversion. But really, this has to sit up on top of everything you do in your life, whether you're trying to work on your business, or your finances, or your relationship or your health. If you don't believe you're good enough, if your mindset's not there, you're going to be limited to wherever it is. Right. Wow. Okay. Have you always felt like your mindset's been worthy enough? I've never thought about my mindset prior to this whole thing. You know, so- But you were creating extraordinary results in your business, making multiple seven figures, New York Times bestseller, multiple, you know, Dr. Phil, all these different shows you've

been on multiple times. Did you feel- That all sounds really great. Right. And I'm thinking, wow, that's a really great, wow, that's amazing. Who is that? You know? Sure.

And the other side of that is I was on Dr. Phil and when I was on Dr. Phil, I got my own primetime pilot on ABC. Wow. You never saw it because I signed the contract, I taped it and it went in the can and it took me off TV and I never saw it. You don't know about my first book because it sold 1000 copies. The book before that actually never even came out, I had to give my business partner 50% to leave me alone because he was going to own everything I ever did for the rest of my life. You know, you don't see the near bankruptcies. The reality is,

it's not the Dr. Phil or the New York Times that gave me the mindset. We don't grow when things are fabulous. That's what we tend to look at. But the things that brought me to those places were all of the challenges I've gone through every, you know, all through my life. That's what created it. And I never thought about the mindset piece until after what this book was written on, this whole accident where my son nearly died, and people went, how the heck did you do it?

And at first I thought, well, it was because I was really healthy. But the reality was that didn't have anything to do with it. It had to do with my mindset and how I decided to show up. Right, right. So what happened with your son, for those that don't know? Yes. So about six weeks before the Virgin Diet's coming out. Now, I'll set this whole space. What's the biggest book launch you're ever going to do?

The biggest book launch ever. I get this book advance. I take the entire book advance. I invest it into launching this book. And then I go borrow some too right i do a public television special i have lined everything up because i know that this is my breakout breakout thing i've been using it testing it getting amazing results this is it right so six weeks before now six weeks before a book launch is mass insanity of all the things you still have to get done, right? Okay, so it's craziness. And I've got two sons. They're 15 and 16. I'm a single mom. I am the financial support for my kids.

My 16-year-old is bipolar. So things can be topsy-turvy. You never know what you're coming home to. And I come home one afternoon and he is in a bad mood. Now, he'd missed school that day. He'd gone to school and come home because he had a migraine, right? That he'd miraculously recovered from. And now he wants to go to martial arts.

But the rule is like, if you couldn't stay in school, you don't get to go to martial arts. So I'm saying no and he's escalating the situation and I'm holding my ground. And I was actually super proud of how well I was handling this whole thing

because I was tired. So I was like not reacting. He gets madder and madder and madder and storms out of the house he looks back at me he goes mom I'm not as strong as you think I am he has nothing he's got a pair of shorts t-shirt no shoes nothing storms out it's dusk I look at that whole thing I think should I go get him and I think let him go it off, go to a friend's house. I go into my garage to burst train. Right. And the next thing I know, my 15-year-old son comes running into the garage and says,

Mom, Grant's been hit by a car and airlifted to the local hospital. The weirdest thing, it was like I wasn't even in my body anymore. It was like, I was watching myself go get my stuff, you know, throw all my stuff into a tote bag. I ran out the door with my 15 year old son, Bryce, and my ex husband, and we drive to the hospital. And we're trying to get information as we're driving, but they won't tell us anything because he's a John Doe. We get there. And first of all, they're making us sit in the waiting room and not telling us anything. And everyone's looking very grim. So, you know, we're just sitting there freaking out. Then we get ushered into a conference

room. And then the doctors start asking me questions. And finally, like, what was he doing? Why was he barefoot? Why was he out walking by himself? And I'm like, hold it, you know, like, we're not on trial here. What is going on with my son? And they say, your son has been in a serious accident, hit and run. Remind me to tell you what I found out later about the hit and run, blow your mind, but hit and run accident. He's got a torn aorta aorta now a torn aorta kills 90 percent of people on the scene his was hanging on he said the doctor said it's like an onion skin he had multiple brain bleeds diffuse sexonal injuries he was in a deep coma it's called a

glasgow three deepest you could be in he had 13 fractures in fact when we were brought in to see him he had bones sticking through he had a road rash covering one half of his body. I was pulling glass out of him for months. Oh, my gosh. And the doctor said, we can't fix his torn aorta here because we'd have to use a blood thinner. And he was bleed out. Just somewhere. What's an aorta?

This is what's going to be pumping the blood into your heart. So no aorta, no blood, no heart. So think of either heart or brain because that's basically the choice we were given. You can either have his heart or you can have his brain. But if we don't fix his aorta, he's not going to have a heart and he's gone. And if we fix his aorta, his brain bleeds out, he's gone. Wow. However.

No good solution well yeah but it turns out that there is a doctor that can do this without blood thinners now you always have to ask the right questions my ex-husband was a medical malpractice trial attorney he goes well you know what are the options he goes well there is a doctor that could do this without blood thinners but he'd never survive the airlift to that hospital even if he did he'd never survive surgery and even if he survived both those things which is so slim the chance he'd ever be normal he's going to be so brain damaged and my 15 year old listening to this so he goes so like a 0.25 chance and so you're saying there's a chance. Yeah, right? All we need.

And the doctor goes, that's right, son. He goes, here's my 15-year-old. We'll take those odds. Wow. And from that minute, I was like, we're in. What are you doing standing here? We're overruling you. Wow.

And that's why I say there's the start of it. There's the mindset. The mindset that says, hey, I'm going to go with abundance, not scarcity. I hear 0.25%. I don't hear, there's a 99.75% chance he's going. You know, he's dying here. We heard, there's a 0.25% chance he's going to make it. We're grabbing that, right?

And so that was the first thing that we did was like okay we're overruling you and you know i i think back to that night because shortly after that another kid came in with a brain injury to that hospital and died there and i was trying to reach the parents going get him out you know because so many people will hear that first opinion go oh okay instead of going what are what are all the possibilities how can we be open to possibilities? So, we airlift him. We have no idea if we're going to pick up a corpse, you know, or if we're, I mean, that was a tough drive. And this, by the way, happened in the middle of the night. So, at midnight, we did the we're overruling you step. Now, they had to get

the doctor to agree. There's like this one doctor, right? They fax the hospital. I'm like, we're really doing this? They get a hold of this doctor. They get a hold of this doctor at 2 a.m. now. This is all getting set up. The doctor has to now assemble not only his team, because when another hospital takes on a case, the first hospital gets to go, here, it's all yours, right?

So this next hospital doesn't know if they're getting a corpse or if there's anything they can do. They've agreed to this case because the doctor had to get them to agree to the case. Now this vascular surgeon has to assemble his team, the orthopedic surgery team, the neurosurgery team, the critical care team, both for adults and peds. And he had to get the stint that he was going to use. But the stint he wanted to use was part of a study that had been discontinued two weeks ago. So no stints at his hospital. He had to get one flown in from another hospital.

And then he was going to use it on my son, who's 16 and was only approved for adults. And he said to us later, he goes, I figured I'd ask for forgiveness. I figured we could do that once he's alive i'm like sure yeah so great and i remember when i walked into that hospital literally walking in going you know you want to run in the door and then you don't want to go in at all because you just like what is going on here and that doctor walked up to me he goes is that your son you know and my there is full court press going on around my son there's all these teams working on him and i'm like he goes i got this wow don't even worry he goes i do this all the time i had someone thrown off the overpass last week i fixed him i'll fix him don't worry you go to the waiting room i'll come get you that's nice

i'm like all right i went up to the waiting room it's now like 5 30 in the morning i'm like i've got to put my brain somewhere else i'm writing blog posts and uh it's funny we sat in there for two and a half hours and my ex-husband was wearing a red shirt he hadn't been wearing the red shirt earlier he'd been wearing he changed and put that on and drove to the hospital my son later goes you know when you and dad were in the waiting room dad was in that red shirt i'm like wow wow yeah we remembered he saw us he left he left what he was doing came over checked us out went back over there yeah he's told us a bunch of stuff i'm like huh i've always been fascinated by the whole near death thing i

didn't necessarily want to like experience it in this way. But it is super interesting. So he came through that surgery, the doctor came out to tell us everything had gone great. He goes, Now, I'm just the plumber. I don't know if he'll ever wake up. That's not my part. You can talk to the neurosurgeons. And so it was like, kind of like, we're high, we're back low. And we go in to talk to the neurosurgeons. We're like, oh, you know, he's so brain damaged. And I'm like, you know, I'm not listening to this. I'm not going to listen to this. And I went in to see Grant.

And I stood there and I thought, you know, I kind of was standing there going, what do I do? You know, freaking out. You're trying to control all of these negative thoughts because I don't want anything to enter my brain, anything negative, because, you know, it felt like then that would become reality. I've just got to hold on to the positive. And it was funny, I was in there, and I get this text from a client. And I don't know this person, especially well, she didn't know I have kids, you know, I'd been coaching her on nutrition. And this text says, grant is worried about you he said he's going to be fine you need to you know be stronger i'm like wow okay all right it was

just like it was like you know that moon strike snap out of it i just went all right game on i looked over and i said grant you're going to be 110 we've got this your name means warrior we're going to do this it's going to be the best thing've got this. Your name means warrior. We're going to do this. It's going to be the best thing that ever happened. And I just kept repeating that to him. And when we were in the hospital and people would come over and say, we don't know if he's ever going to walk again. I'm like, no, get him out of the room. You know, I didn't let anyone around who was saying anything negative about him not waking

up or not being able to walk. And later he said to me, because I literally literally he was in the hospital for four and a half months he was in a coma for weeks now i'm in my book launch yeah you're a month away that's still going on too book launch is still going on and i can't postpone that you know i remember you know someone said you don't worry about your job yeah right you just go take care of your sweet boy your job will be waiting for you i'm like no i go now they will my job not be waiting for me i'll be bankrupt and as much as you know publishers are human it's a business and this is it and if i'm not there

that book is gonna go and it affects the rest of your books in the future and your oh i'd be done yeah it was uh i looked at this and went here's my son he's lying in a coma i'm gonna do whatever it takes to bring him to 110 that's not gonna be cheap i need the money to make it happen i gotta make this happen and so this book launch just got 10x'd like now there is now i burned all the boats boats. I am taking this island. And I realized that there were two things I had to do. Be with my son, third leading cause of death, death by doctor, all the stuff that goes down in hospitals. Third leading cause of death. First leading cause of death for children, brain injuries.

So I'm like, I'm not leaving here, but I've got to make this book a huge success. So I'd literally sit next to him. There's pictures of me in the hospital talking to him and working on my book launch, just sharing what I'm doing, talking it out. And later he said, Mom, the gray man came to the hospital and came down and asked me if I wanted to live or die. And I did not want to live. It was, but I kept hearing your voice

wow so I told him I would wow I know crazy stuff um so yeah so I got very essential I love that book essentialism or then the one thing and I am really bad at doing that you know all of us too many ideas and all these things you want to do but you know that i i credit the reason virgin diet is a huge success is i didn't have any option i it wasn't i was all in i wasn't going to try to make it successful it was like oh no this is this is a lifesaver now this is it wow so wow and how is your son now so it has been a you would think that the four and a half months of the hospital were the hard part. Yeah.

No. No. No. The four years have been, since then have been the hard part. And it's made me realize that I have a way bigger purpose out there in terms of getting information out about brain health. So, you know, obviously it is severe brain injury. It, you know, obviously he had a severe brain injury. Turns out 17 million people a year have a brain injury.

17 million. Well, think, have you ever hit your head? I played football, so I hit my head many times. And so we think about, you know, football, soccer, volleyball is actually one of the big sports that's problematic. You know, all of our veterans, anyone who's been in any car accident yeah i was in a car accident where i was hit head-on and rear-ended in the freeway and it cracked my lexus suv in half so this was a hard hit and you know i passed out came to and went to the hospital and they go okay well you know it's just

going to take time i'm like just time when grant was coming out of the coma they said it's going to be ugly now i had no idea i've only seen movies and in movies people come out of comas they look at you lovingly i love you so i thought like he'd wake up he'd go i love you mom it's not what happens right it is not what happens um 25 of people who have brain injuries try to kill themselves or think about it you know it's it's a major scary thing the last four years um i've committed myself to making him 110 and figuring it out and then getting that information out to everybody because when someone has a brain injury it's not just them who's affected it affects every yeah it's amazing so he's probably tried to kill

himself now 10 times over the last four years and i have jumped him we have i'm like going i did not just go through all this like you're not doing this not on my watch you know um but it's it's like they're a prisoner in their their brain it's a scary scary it's challenging i think i mentioned to you last time we talked my dad was in a car accident about 11 years ago and really traumatic head injury was in a coma for many months and never been the same you know it's yeah even 11 years later i can have a conversation with him you know he he has some of the characteristics from the past but he's just he's not yeah the dad that i used to you know have he's a completely different person and he needs a lot of care and a lot of help and isn't able to function you know with

his words and the way he wants to he forgets a lot he's of a lot of amnesia so he can't remember a lot of things yeah he repeats himself over and over it's just like it's a challenge yeah there's so much information that needs to be out there. And I was lucky in that the minute this happened, I put an SOS out to my community. Like, listen, I don't need your sympathy. I need your support. What you got? You know, Daniel Amon's in the hospital with me right away. You know, so I mean, I have amazing resources. Barry Sears was helping me with the whole fish oil thing. Dr. Michael Lewis, I got, you know, I got the guy who figured out the progesterone stuff. They're all, I'm talking to them. Financial freedom can be a reality for you. Yes, you, the listener, will howl by making the right financial choices with people who've produced

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That's masterworks.com promo code greatness. See important disclosures at masterworks.com slash cd. So I was super fortunate with all of that. He's been doing high-dose fish oil. He did progesterone. We've been doing interthecal stem cells right into his growing his own stem cells, injecting them to his spine. It is waking him up. He has memories back of when he was three and four years old now. Like everything is shifting. Because I'm coming from a place of,

I believe that we can fix this and I'm going to make him 110% because there's things that make him better because of the accident, because now he's empathetic. He's never been a victim, but, um, you know, these, these stories that we all have, everyone's had someone touch with the brain injury and yes, it can change them forever them forever but your brain can you can continue healing at any point so yes we've done fish oil we've done obviously i was springing also i had a neutral bullet in his in the hospital as soon as he was starting to show that you know he could eat he actually spit up his own feeding tube and i was like okay i'm all in now i was making him smoothies um We couldn't get the hospital to do the fish oil like I want them to, so I just did it anyway. And the progesterone cream. But it's been the stem cells.

And then neurofeedback, ping pong. There's been a lot of things that we've done, but the stem cells have, to me, the biggest hope. You look at what happens after a brain injury, depression, to me, the biggest hope. You look at what happens after a brain injury, depression, anxiety, memory issues, and then you think about the fact that at any one time, 50% of us have something going on with depression, anxiety, mood issues. 26.5% of people in their lifetime are going to have some kind of mental illness. And you go, huh, is there a correlation here? I think there is. I think we're misdiagnosing head injuries because we we don't think about it um i just had a friend post on facebook and i i am i'm like um you've got a problem here she goes my husband rolled off the top of the van as they got

caught in the beach towel while he's putting the surfboards up and he not got knocked out then he was talking kind of nonsense but we took him to the hospital and they said he's fine he doesn't have a head injury i'm like of course he has he's fine. He doesn't have a head injury. I'm like, of course he has a head injury. How could he not have a head injury? Right? It's crazy. But these are the things that we need to treat.

We need to teach people that, no, it's not just about time. Right? And, you know, yes, there's tons of things you can do. And you can do it forever because everything keeps healing. And he's doing a lot better, your son, after four years? I mean, you've been through a lot. Yeah. So I will tell you that some things he's 110%.

There are parts of him that were better than before the accident. He's more empathetic and nicer. He's never blamed this woman. He got hit. This woman hit him, got out of the car, gasped, got back in the car and drove off. She was probably scared. Yeah. And people are like, did you find the woman? And it's one of the parts of the miracle mindset is forgiveness yes

and i go i never focused on that i had to focus on saving my son and i go and i don't know like okay she shouldn't have driven off but i don't know maybe she had kids at home she was like i have no idea what her situation was it didn't matter she saw another person pull in to protect him and i don't know who who was at fault here and nor does it matter yeah it's like this is where we're at now she's got her own life to deal with he might have ran in front who knows what happened we'll never know never know no one's thought because he's not you know he doesn't remember yeah so who knows and if you didn't know who she is doesn't what it's gonna do for you you know it was interesting because when i was in the hospital, my ex-husband called and said,

okay, they found the woman and all of this stuff came up. Like this mama bear stuff. I was like, where is she? And that's when you kind of realize I've got to work on this forgiveness part. Because you've got to actively forgive people. It doesn't just happen. Okay, I'm not going to work on this forgiveness part. Because if you are, you've got to actively forgive people. It doesn't just happen. Okay, I'm not going to focus on that. I'll focus on saving my son.

I had to go back and forgive her. I had to forgive my son for going and doing that. I had to forgive myself for not stopping him. You know, there's a lot of forgiveness that had to go on just to be okay with all of that stuff. And you can't just put that in the closet. Is there anything you haven't forgiven yet? You know what? I've got a lot of stuff I need to forget. I went, so our buddy Dave Asprey, last two summers ago, he, you know, strong-armed me as, you know, he can be so bossy. He said,

JJ, you have to come to 40 Years Is End because he saw what happened from all of this is I got some pretty bad PTSD, right, as one could imagine. And I nothing was giving me joy. I hit I got the Virgin Diet, it became New York Times bestseller. And then I did three more books. And I didn't even I forgot I even did it. Someone said, What did you do cool in the last six months ago? Nothing, right? I totally even I mean, it was just nothing was like i just was flatlining and he goes you're coming to this thing and i'm it was it was a week um of neurofeedback you stick things in your your hair like those guys were all lucky none of them i was with joe polish and vision i'm like no one else has to deal with all this you know you had to stick

electrodes in your head and you literally were down in these chambers and they didn't tell me what it was when i was going i just like all right i'll be there and it turns out you work through forgiveness because the fastest way to raise your alpha and to be more creative and to be happier is to forgive because if you're angry it will just smush your joy absolutely that's a scientific term. And so as I'm going through this first couple days, working on forgiveness, I'm thinking, I'm going to be here all year. This is a peeling of onions, because you go, okay, well, I need to forgive Grant. Well, then I got to forgive this woman. Well, I got to forgive myself. But then we've got to go back to everything that led up to that. And, you know, I kept going back further and further and further.

And Dave's one of my very best friends. And I'm going, you know, I kept going back further and further and further. And Dave's one of my very best friends. And I'm going, you know, I think I need to forgive my birth mom. And he goes, you think? I think you might even need to go back further. I'm like, oh, my gosh. Okay. You know? So, yeah, I think that's an important point to bring up is forgiveness is a process that

you're never done with, you know, because there's stuff that comes up all the time. And I kind of check in i was really mad at someone for a couple weeks and i just i was like you know how to go through this forgiveness stuff let this one go like and it's not a matter of just going oh it's fine you have to actively forgive someone you have to go through and feel all the reasons you're so upset with them and then step over to their side and go all right let's look at it from their side let's be them for a minute which is huge hugely eye-opening and then find the gift in the whole thing because there's always a major gift you know you're not going to grow when like everything is perfect right that's true wow i'm curious about um what do you think is the misconception around people who have life altering events or

experiences? You know, you've went through one with your son. I've been through one with my dad. For people who haven't been through one, what do you think they, I guess their misconception is around it? Their misconception. So biggest thing people have said to me since Grant got hit is, oh, I'm so sorry. And I look at and I go, well, he didn't die. Right. You know, and I think that our misconception on anything, whether it's that or just a really bad thing happening. So let's say that someone, you know, you were bankrupt, or you went through a divorce, anything like that. What if we flip that to being this is going to be the best thing that ever happened to me? I will be better because of this, I'll be a better person, a better father, a better husband, whatever it is, right? You know, there's always something in

there. And in the moment, I mean I mean heck in the moment with Grant I was scared to death when we were making that decision that we were going to overrule those doctors I stood outside at the hospital and I just got totally present which has never been very easy for me to do I just stood out there it was you know now like 11 o'clock at night and i just stood out there and listened and i went grant what do you want me to do because here was my big fear overrule the doctors go charge in there be you know bossy tell them what they're gonna do right have no problem doing that and he is a vegetable or he is so damaged and and went, I want to do what's going to be best for him. You know, that's the whole, what do I do?

And I just stood out there and got quiet. And it was funny, I was describing it to this guy, Roz, who founded Hoffman Institute. And he goes, you know you had a divine experience there. I was like, it was? You know, because I just stood out there, and it was like just a lightning bolt of, boom, save your son. And I marched and I'm like, that's it.

This is what we're doing. It was like I knew exactly what I needed to do. But there are still times along the way I would sit there. When he came out of a coma, he was staring off into space. He was staring sideways. I have pictures. You can see that no one's home. Moving his arm back and forth for days.

And I'm thinking, uh-oh this what I what did I do here, you know, so I had to so manage all of that fear. And that's why I just held on to the hope, you know, and and so if you say, Okay, my plan is he's 110%. And here's what I'm going to do to do that. And every day, you look for any little win that tells you that you're going in the right direction. And sometimes it was a very small win. You know, he wrinkled his nose. I mean, there was not for months and months and months, years, any sign he was going to be 110% at all. But I just figured, you know what, I'm going to go with 110% because if I make it to 80,

I win. Yeah, absolutely. And we're already past 80. We kind of go between 90 and 110 right now. Um, and there's some really bad times, but they're few and far between compared to the really good times. You know, there's bad times with people who are healthy. I know. I mean, it's like there's horrible times with people who have the brain and everything figured out, you know what I mean? So it's all good. You know, we're never going to be perfect.

I'm curious though, you, you know, you've been teaching nutrition and physical health for many years, and now you have this experience of kind of like the spiritual mental health experience. What did you learn about, um, from this process and, and it's the spiritual side of wellbeing just as important as the nutritional and physical side now for you, or has it always been that way? I haven't ever paid attention to it before. You know, when you talked about mindset, it just was who I was. And I never really looked at how you developed that. And I think the reason that I'm very left brain. Yeah.

So I think the reason I always focused on nutrition and exercise was they were so measurable. It was so obvious. I could draw out an algorithm. I knew exactly your labs are this. You need to do that. And all of a sudden, people are going, well, how'd you do that? And I'm like, uh. And then as I was going through this, I went, could I teach this? Is there a way to help someone develop this mindset? Once we know that you're not in a fixed mindset, you're not a victim, that life doesn't happen to you, that you can be responsible for your life, control it, build it,

create it because of your mindset, then the next question is, can you make that? Can you build that? Is it like a muscle? So I decided, okay, let's say that mindset's a muscle, you can develop it. So what is it exactly? Because i have to measure everything right yeah so i actually yeah can you measure it and so then i broke it up to what were my attributes that i saw in me and then i started going around like when we interviewed you and we interviewed just a group of people i look and i go okay you're doing amazing things and here was the common denominator every single person i know in my life who's doing amazing things has gone through some crap. Yes.

Every single one of them. All of them. And as I went through, I went, what are the common attributes? Things like abundance-minded, right? Courageous, resilient. So I just built all of those up. And then I created a way to evaluate them. Because that's my little left brain can totally deal with that. And then I created a way to evaluate them because that's my little left

brain can totally deal with that and then I took a group of people through it I want to see could I train this and here's what's crazy because it's like all right you know because I never saw myself I I'm sitting here doing this and selling this pd book and I'm like but I'm not a personal development person I'm a nutritionist and but in reality, aren't we all personal development teachers? All of us at any level, right? A mom is a personal development teacher. Yeah, absolutely. So I'm taking this group through this.

And this has never happened, by the way, when I've taken people through a diet program. You see people have amazing results, and it does impact all the other areas of their life. But this is the first week of a coaching call. And we're going through this first exercise to build resilience. And this gal gets on and she goes, I want to do that, but I can't. And I go, okay, why not? What's in your way? Right?

And she goes, I don't feel good enough. I don't feel worthy. way, right? She goes, I don't feel good enough. I don't feel worthy. And I go, well, if you were worthy, if you did feel that way, what would you say about yourself? And she goes, well, people wouldn't believe it, but I am smart. And I go, okay, that sounds good. What else? You know, and she starts listing out all these things about herself. And I'm putting on our Facebook group page, you know, angel is smart, angel is kind. And then I put an angel is worthy. And all of a sudden, all these people on this call are on this page, and they're putting it angels worthy angels. And I'm watching this, my team, and I've got some big guys are crying, they're crying in the office, right? And I'm going,

wow, because I had been leaning away from this. And I tell people, if something's scary, that's where you need to go. Like, if it's not scary, you're not playing big enough. And this has scared me to put doing this scared me, terrified me. Nutritional you can do all day. Yeah, it's easy. And that's why honestly, why am I doing this? Because it terrifies me. And I know I have to and i see the difference in people when they do this you you go through and uplevel your mindset you can go take on your health right you know you can you can go change your business you can get a better relationship all those things are going to uplift but you don't fix your mindset and you have a fixed mindset that believes that

you can't do it that that life happens to you, that you're the victim, no amount of our great strategies are going to do a thing. Right. Right. Right. So what's it come down to worthiness first? Is that kind of the foundation of what you teach is how to build that or building the confidence or? So I actually, what I do first is measure again, cause I'm, I'm always evaluating. Um, and then I just start them. I have seven lessons that go along with the lessons in the book. And again, because I'm always evaluating. And then I just start them, I have seven lessons that go along with the lessons in the book. And again, it was like, when people started to go, how did you do this? My first response when people were like, how were you able to do that? I go, well, I was really healthy when I went into the hospital. And I was, I mean, I went in and

I was super physically healthy. I was under ridiculous stress. So I decided that my self-care came above everything else. And I know people, they're looking going, well, that's so selfish. I go, it actually was the most selfless thing I could do because you don't go into the ICU if you're sick. And so I went, you know, if I'm going to be making life and death decisions and I'm going to pull this out, I cannot even have a sniffle. This is, I'm going to take, so I was getting my eight to nine hours of sleep. I was burst training in the hospital stairs. had friends sending in food i was on it right

i totally nailed that stuff and at first when people said how did you do it i go i was super healthy and then when i realized no that was not the case at all it was the decision above that and then i went well what how would i take someone through this and so it's really taking them through a series of lessons and looking at each of those things. How do we move from a scarcity mindset to abundance mindset? How do we? How do we?

I actually have a really crazy exercise that I take people through that someone took me through. I had a mentor in my 20s that had me do this silly exercise. And so she has you take out a sheet of paper and write down everything you want. Okay, and fill it up. Like physical things

or achievements or... Physical things. So I want, I want, you know, this car. She says, I don't care, you know, just be materialistic. You know, what kind of vacations,

jewelry, shoes, everything, write it all down, fill up the paper. And I still remember sitting in this room. I remember where I was writing it down. And I remember the things I wrote on there. I wanted a teal green Jaguar. And I wanted a condo in Maui. And I thought I was like thinking, huge, big, big, big. Okay, so then she says, All right. So tell me what's on your list. then she says all right so tell me what's on your list right and we're there's a bunch of us in here but she i was she was my mentor so i'm like listening out she goes oh that's that's great

that's great i so i just have a question for you on the on the jaguar so um why just one and i said well i don't need more than one. She goes, I didn't ask you what you needed. So that condo in Maui, like, why just a condo? And I go, okay, I'll take a house. She goes, well, why did you want a condo? She goes, well, you know, I don't need that much. She goes, no, it's not what you need. Just why not the house? And I go, okay, house.

She goes, well, why not, like, Maui? And it was like crazy when you start to realize that we limit ourselves every, we always do it, right? So just that way of starting to go, huh. People with physical possessions, yes. Yeah, I mean, and that's just a sign of it. I mean, if you do it in one, the way you do one thing is the way you do everything, right?

But I'll tell you that to me, and I always look at this, this is going to be my vegetable analogy, because in health, I think, gosh, so many things would just get better if people would just get a good night's sleep and eat more vegetables. A lot of stuff gets better. You know, we're so worried about it. Am I getting enough of this micronutrient? I'm like, eat your vegetables, right? Gratitude is to vegetables, you know, right? It's like gratitude. We think of vegetables for health and gratitude for personal development. You want to get more resilient.

You know, you want to change your life. The best thing that you can do is start every single day in gratitude. And when I looked back and went, what helped me get through all of this stuff in the hospital? The biggest thing was making sure I had my morning routine dialed. And every day it was get up. And what are my things I'm grateful for? of this stuff in the hospital, the biggest thing was making sure I had my morning routine dialed. And every day it was get up and what are my things I'm grateful for? Three things, write them down. And find something, right? Find something. They're like, I don't have anything. I'm like, you're awake, you're alive. Your eyes are open, you can do it. So those are some of the things. I've built the lessons, but that was the big question mark is could this be

teached without you having to go through all this stuff? Right? But here's the other thing is you never know when this stuff's going to happen. Never know. And are you ready? And how do you get ready? Well, you have to lean into fear. You have to do things that scare you.

You have to get out of your comfort zone. So you have to actively pursue that. Otherwise, you won't. Which is why I think it's great to have coaches and support communities that all cheer you on from going and doing the hard things. Because in life, we tend to shy away from doing the hard things, right? Absolutely, yeah, yeah. And in the book, you have all the examples of how to build this mindset and all these different lessons, correct? Right. Okay, cool.

I want to ask a few more questions before i i finish with the final few is there a question you wish people would ask you that they don't final few yes before i ask the final few questions is there a question you didn't warn me about the final few before i asked them is there is there a question that you wish people would ask that they don't what i'd love to be asked because i think that there's a perception. When you look at someone and you sat down, you said, okay, you've been on Dr. Phil and you've got these books

and it looks like it's been easy. And that you just kind of roll through and go jump on a TV set or write a book. And what I want people to see is the struggle. Because I think when we just see that and then we're not there we all judge ourselves and go i could never do that look at they just like plop those books out they just got on that tv show and you know we're all scared we all struggle and so i think that's the big thing that i i'd like to pull up more in interviews is what's scary and what's the struggle. Okay.

Well, what's scary and what's the struggle right now? You know, I've really looked at a lot of what's been super important. And I was just talking to my fiance about that. And I go, you know, there's not a lot of things that scare me. You know, you can take all my money away and I'll go work and do it again and I don't need to have a whole bunch of fancy stuff and, you know, don't take my shoes away.

But what would scare me is losing the people around me who I love. You know, that's the big one. That's the big one. And so what's the struggle really is, I am an adopted kid. And you there's a thing with adopted kids. And I've never really wanted to talk about it, because I always thought it makes me sound like a whiner, like I'm ungrateful. Because, you know, when you're an adopted kid, back when I was adopted, my parents had to

really fight for it to get to be able to adopt a child. They actually matched you. But my birth mom gave me up for adoption. She was engaged to my birth father, and he wanted her to drink quinine and abort. Wow. Thankfully, she said no. And she went to a home for unwed mothers in San Francisco and gave me up. And then they put me into a foster home for six weeks they made you

have holding period i'm like going well that's the worst plan ever like six weeks of limbo for a baby during that most important bonding thing wow and then put me into um this place with my adopted parents who have done the best they can but i I'm so not, there's just not that, there's never been that bond, you know? It's like that bond. So you grow up feeling unloved and unworthy, right? Wow. You know? And it's like, so that's the biggest thing. When I came down to like, when you start to look at what you want in your life and then you go, well, why do I want that? Why do I want that? Why do I want it? And you can dial it all back. I was like, ultimately why I want all these things

is you just want to be loved. And so actually you don't have to do a whole bunch of that stuff because it's not so important anymore. You can just go. Be loved. Be loved. Love and be loved.

It's so much easier. Wow. Love people and let them love you. What it knows about you. Do you know your parents yet? Have you met them or no? So yeah, I met my birth parents. I got rejected again.

So not once but twice. So yeah, my ex-husband reminded me of that. I have a super great relationship with my ex-husband. But I went and sought out my birth mother because how could you not want to know? Of course. And again, my adoptive parents were great parents, tried hard. And they were open about it from early ages. They were open about it.

They always told me about it. You know, and it's funny because the big fat lie to adopt kids is that you're so special because more people wanted you. I'm like, no, not really. Your mom, like I'm a mom. You, as clearly as you've seen, you would have to kill me to take my kids away. Like I will do whatever for them.

And, I mean, that's just in our DNA. So, you know, when you've got someone, and I know, because I went through the forgiveness protocol, because Dave's like, yes, I think we need to go there, you know, of what it was like for her to be a scared, unwed mother who was engaged to this guy who now wants her to abort. And she doesn't want to give me up to his crazy mom. And so, hey, she did the best she could do and now i've really fully like all of a sudden i was like okay i forgave her i forgave him you know my mom everybody um but i met my birth mom and and i met my birth dad and he made me take a paternity test and uh 99.999 i'm like wow okay we'll do this um how old were you i was 25 wow so my birth dad had never told his wife he was still in love with my mother that made it kind of weird because when i met him he's like oh my gosh you're just like her and i'm like okay stop it but um he

married a debutante like miss oregon just the kind of person who's not my type of person. And they lived in a little, they're very provincial. They'd never really left Oregon. They literally white picket fence. And I like show up. It's like, uh-oh. He goes, I never told her about you. I'm like, well, you know.

So that was the problem um yeah so i met everybody but there was no it's not like they're your family they're not your family you know when people talk your real parents your real parents are the people who had to deal with you growing up right those are your real parents the whining and crying you know those are your parents these people were my uh parents, but they're not my parents. So it kind of puts you as like there's really no place for them. But, you know, it just. What's the biggest lesson you learned about your biological mom?

What's the biggest lesson she's taught you throughout your life? Whether she's told you something or not, but something you've learned that's been powerful to you. told you something or not but something you've learned that's been powerful to you you know she taught me by not doing and it's it's interesting because i believe that you know sometimes negative role models can be the most powerful of all i understand now that she gave me up because that was what she believed to be the best thing. I still think whenever possible that birth kids should be with their birth families because there's this genetic. I mean, when I met her, I got off the plane and looked at a woman

dressed just like me, same taste, same. I am, I grew up in a very, like Ward and June Cleaver family with parents who golf and dad who has a job waiting for a ship to come in. You know, just very, very unlike me. My dad is a massive entrepreneur my mom is a scientist and her whole family are athletes his family are models it was like you finally met your tribe right and so um but it was funny when i met her again she was very judgy and you know the one thing that 25 when you were 25 yeah she was just kind

of judging who i was and how i was and it was interesting to see because i'm a parent and i may not love all the choices my kids make although it's rare that i have issues with them but i mean they might do things i disagree with but i love them unconditionally that will never change and so it was interesting to see that because I was like going, you know what? I think that the most powerful gift you can give your kids is the gift of unconditional love. That was the big lesson that I learned with this. Wow. Amazing. Okay. Well, thank you for sharing and letting me know that that's what you want people to ask you about. There you go. Well, now they don't have to because they heard the answer.

Exactly. Exactly. Is there anything else you wish people would ask you? No, I'm now totally nervous about this speed round thing. Okay. Well, yeah. A few final questions. You'll be great.

This is called The three truths and it's many many years from now you've written however many new york time bestsellers you've achieved everything you want to and anything on the list of dreams that you write down now you may happen you have this abundant lifestyle anything you want you create it. And it's the last day for you many, many years. And for whatever reason, all your books have been erased. All your videos, all the work you've put out there is gone. And it's the last day and your whole family's there. And some great, great grandchild walks up to you and gives you a piece of paper and a pen and says, we don't have anything physical to remember ourselves or be remembered by you. Um, can you write down three things, you know, to be true of all the lessons you've learned of all the experiences you've had of all

the people you've met? What are the three things, the three truths that you would leave behind? And this is all we would have to remember from your three lessons. Lesson one has to do with integrity. So I've always lived as if anything I do, you could publish in the paper that I'm being true to myself, my message. So live with integrity. Number two, put your family and your loved ones above everything else. They are your biggest gift. And number three, forgive as quickly as possible.

That was great. Thank you. I want to take a moment, JJ, to acknowledge you for forgiving all the people in your life and for developing this incredible mindset because the things that you've learned and the things you've been through

have been challenging, but they're creating so many blessings in the world for so many people. So I want to acknowledge you for the gifts you have and your creativity, your hard work, your overcoming all these challenges and also for showing up differently now than you ever have

because of this struggle that you went through. So I want to acknowledge you for all your incredible gifts and I appreciate it. Thank you. You're welcome. There is one final question I want to ask you before I do make sure you guys pick up the book. It's called Miracle Mindset. Go grab it right now. More lessons on how to have this abundant mindset and to really overcome challenges in your life. So make sure you guys pick it up. Final question I want to ask you is what is your definition of greatness? that's the big thing I strive to do when I, when I leave this planet is I want to make sure I've left it better than I found it. Yeah. There you go. JJ,

thanks for coming on. Appreciate it. Thank you. I hope you enjoyed today's episode and it inspired you on your journey towards greatness. Make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a full rundown of today's episode with all the important links. And if you want weekly exclusive

bonus episodes with me personally, as well as ad free listening, then make sure to subscribe to our greatness plus channel exclusively on Apple podcasts. Share this with a friend on social media and leave us a review on Apple podcasts as well. Let me know what you enjoyed about this episode in that review. I really love hearing feedback from you and it helps us figure out how we can support and serve you moving forward. And I want to remind you, if no one has told you lately that you are loved, you are worthy and you matter. And now it's time to go out there and do something great.