The School of Greatness - Nicky Jam Discusses Struggling with Panic Attacks, Drug Addiction, & PTSD

Episode Date: September 9, 2024

SUMMIT OF GREATNESS IS DAYS AWAY! Have you saved your tickets yet? Get them before they sell out at lewishowes.com/tickets.I'm thrilled to welcome the iconic reggaeton superstar Nicky Jam to The School of Greatness! In this powerful conversation, Nicky opens up about his incredible journey from childhood poverty and addiction to becoming one of the biggest Latin artists in the world. He shares raw stories of his struggles with drugs, jail time, and losing everything - and how he found the strength to make an epic comeback. We dive deep into Nicky's creative process, his relationship with God, and how he's working to heal generational trauma. His honesty about battling anxiety and finding peace is truly inspiring. Whether you're a fan of Latin music or just love a great redemption story, this episode is a must-listen for anyone looking to overcome adversity and chase their dreams.In this episode you will learnHow Nicky overcame addiction and rebuilt his career after hitting rock bottomThe power of forgiveness and humility in achieving successNicky's unique approach to creating hit songs with sad lyrics but upbeat melodiesHow faith and conversations with God have guided Nicky's journeyThe challenges of finding peace while pursuing a high-profile music careerStrategies for dealing with childhood trauma and PTSDThe importance of street smarts and resilience in navigating the music industryFor more information go to www.lewishowes.com/1665For more Greatness text PODCAST to [phone]More SOG episodes we think you’ll love:Eckhart Tolle – https://link.chtbl.com/1463-podRhonda Byrne – https://link.chtbl.com/1525-podJohn Maxwell – https://link.chtbl.com/1501-pod

I know that God exists because I'm living proof. Because I remember that I told God on my knees, I said, God, please help me. And I felt that God told me, stop doing drugs, and I'll give you everything back. He didn't give me everything back. He gave me $150,000 more. Nicky Jam!

You're 14, number one. Nicky Jam! Nicky Jam! Nicky Jam! I started getting panic attacks, anxiety and stuff like that. See, when somebody goes to war, they get PTSD, right? So what's the difference from a guy that goes to the war from a kid that sees the war from his house? We still have PTSD.

Ain't nobody telling us we have PTSD. We all have our own levels of trauma. I'm not comparing mine to yours or anything like that. No, no, no, no, no, no. I can't say your trauma is less than mine. No. I had to see my mom for more than 20 years, something like that. Wow.

She was in the streets. Most of the time that I tried to do music was to see if I got famous enough for my mom to recognize me. What happened with that? Bro. My name is Lewis Howes. What happened with that? Bro. My name is Lewis Howes. Thanks so much for being here. I want to remind you about the Summit of Greatness, our annual conference happening this September in Los Angeles.

With David Goggins, Dr. Joe Dispenza, and many more incredible speakers and performers, there will be so many live attendees there that you can meet with, you can network with, and you can help transform your life. I can't wait to see you at the Summit of Greatness here in Los Angeles. Welcome back, everyone, to the School of Greatness. Very excited about our guest. We have the inspiring, the iconic, Nicky Jam in the house. Good to see you, my man. Likewise. Very excited. i was telling you beforehand that uh i've

been believe it or not as a gringo i've been big into salsa dancing and latin pop music for 15 20 years i've got a mexican fiance i love the latin culture i'm learning spanish but your spanish is so quick when you're speaking i'm like i still don't understand what you're saying but yeah and especially a puerto rican oh man you guys are fast and i'm i'm one of like the like the ones you could more understand because i lived in colombia they have the best spanish one of the best spanish uh yeah around so uh colombia made me like you know speak a little bit more clearly clean puerto rico we speak quick and we got a slay too but that's like i'm like what are these words but a couple fun facts i don't know if some of these may not be fun, but one of them is we're both Pisces.

Yes. Born on March 17th. On March 16th. Oh, awesome. What? A day before me? That's crazy. Day apart, you know?

If we was hanging out, we could just celebrate in one day. Exactly, exactly. We both have a love for Latin music. I'm a big salsa dancer, like I was telling you, and I love your music. So congratulations on making a big impact on the world. I think you have over half a dozen videos that have over a billion views. You're one of the biggest artists in the world.

And you bring so much joy and love to so many people. So I want to acknowledge you for that. I appreciate that. Maybe not so much of a fun fact, but something in common. You went to jail for a while for drugs. My brother went to prison for four and a half years for selling drugs. And we have that kind of experience in common. I didn't experience it personally, but I went to a prison almost every weekend when I was younger to go visit my brother.

Yeah, brother, yeah. And I know the impact that had on his life, our family's life, and my life by being associated with that. I'm curious, and you went through a few different phases in your life. You had success early on, then you kind of hit rock bottom, which you talk about. I mean, big. You gained a ton of weight, you were in drugs, you almost overdosed, you had a lot of different challenges, jail, getting caught up in the wrong activities, but then you had a massive bounce back. And I'm curious, what did the jail experience teach you about your mindset and what was possible

after that experience? Because it sounded like for me, from the research I've done, that you didn't think you could really come back from that or you struggled in a big way. You gained a lot of weight. You were like, what's the point of life yeah so how did you turn it around was there someone that supported you during that time was it something inside of you that said i got to make something of my life what was the process of getting out of the darkness and into the light i would say uh when you get in there and they close those uh they close that, how do you call it? The jail cell? The jail cell, yeah.

That sound is incredible. And automatically you think like you lost everything, you know? I'm very claustrophobic, so the space is very limited. And they gave me more years, actually. They gave me six years and i came out in three really i guess but i'm sorry i guess i guess uh they thought that i was a good guy and they needed to put like really bad bad guys in there they didn't have too much space so i that was a good thing for me three years for you three years yeah it's a long time man it is it is a long time but uh the reality is uh i'm i'm the

type of guy i was born and raised in in a lot of problems you know like my mom was a drug addict my dad was a drug addict had zombies in my house literally so for me i wasn't raised in an environment where i go to jail and i'm like oh my god i'm shocked now i was like for me it was normal it was like home it was oh yeah it was home it was it was normal and it was something that i knew i was going to be there in any moment because i was a rebel i didn't have my mom you know in my mentality my mom you know she she abandoned me so i was a rebel i wasn't scared of going to jail i wasn't scared of uh um dying or nothing like that you say it was for drugs but actually it was for attempted murder

why i was out why i was uh in jail um because of the lawyer things i can't really speak about sure you know a lot of things but uh it's it's one of the the worst thing that could happen to you as a human being but at the same time i always look to find uh positive moments and bad moments you know and i always like joke around and i'm always joking even if it's a bad moment i joked around oh everybody that was in jail i made jokes for them i sang for them um i bullied a lot of people in a good way in a good way right teasing people picking up i was always you know people always like if somebody had like you know uh life like, yo, keep away from that guy. He don't like nobody.

I mean, I understand why. But I was still joking around with the guy that had life in prison. That was just me. You know, I made my time constructive. I read the Bible. I did push-ups. But, yes, my soul was dead. My soul was dead at the beginning.

After that, I was like almost used to it, you know? So when they call my name and say Nick Rivera, Nick Rivera Caminero, and they telling me that I, um, I'm ready to leave. I couldn't believe it because I know I had more years coming by. And, uh. So you got out on good behavior or got out early? Good behavior. And like I said, they probably needed space for real bad guys.

And I could see that because the space was very limited in jail. But nothing. I came out. And when you come out of jail, it's not only about dealing with, it's not coming out. It's dealing with everything you left behind, all the bad things you left behind before you went in there. So it's like, it's a smack in the face. First of all, in three years, a lot of things changed. The phones had cameras.

We didn't have that before. In three years, a lot of changes. And apart from that, you know, dealing with all the problems that I left behind. You had to face those things. And I only faced that. Your career is on the floor. Nobody wants to mess with you.

Nobody wants to record with you. I went to studios, people ignoring me. I did not have any songs doing good. I had nothing, obviously, because I was away. So when I come out, it wasn't like Tupac's story that when he came out, everybody was waiting for him. And, you know, like these rappers, when they go to jail, they're in their prime. And I wasn't really in jail in my prime when i got in jail i

was already going down as as in my career so how old were you then i was like 20 something years old i don't really remember exactly the age like 23 25 24 something that. I come out in 2006, and I realized it was going to be worse for me. Because I was still doing drugs inside of jail. Probably more drugs in jail than outside of jail. Yeah, of course. You have nothing to do with it. You just do drugs. And I got drugs inside of jail.

I was doing. And then I started doing perks more than ever. Wow. And I was doing 30 perks a day. So I was literally like... 30? Yeah, a day. Man, your liver must have been just screaming at you.

I know, I know. I don't even know. I think my liver loves me because I've been giving him a lot of shit since I was 11 years old. Wow. So, yeah, I was taking 30 perks a day. And if you know about perks, that's opium. That's heroin. Wow.

Literally heroin in the pill. And it was just embarrassments after embarrassments. It was just crazy. And you get out in 2004, 2005? Is that when you got out? 2006. 2006 you get out. It's almost 18 years ago.

Yeah. And when did you start to change your mindset? I mean, you had to face a lot of the stuff that you dealt with in the past. You had to like deal with people not wanting to work with you. A lot of things, a lot of things happened after that. Cause I go, I start trying to get my career back, but I, I ended up doing more drugs than ever and really messing up my career more and more.

And a lot of things happened, you know, like stupid stuff. Like, I don't know, like I was in my car, and my car was under my sister's name. I didn't pay for six months. I was already famous, and then the cops tried to stop me. Then he didn't have a sign, so I kept going. And then helicopters came, a whole bunch of cops came. They threw me against the car.

They arrested me. It was embarrassing. The most embarrassing thing that happened. One of the most embarrassing things that happened. Because imagine the arresting in front of everybody. All of the news, too. All the news. And we're jumping until, remember, before I was in jail, I had a whole bunch of street problems already.

You know what I'm saying? Like street things that I can't really talk about but i did a lot of street things and i was involved in a lot of stupid stuff so i went through hell before jail and then i went through hell in jail then i went through hell after jail but in 2008 i got a call call. After all these embarrassments, all these situations, I was overweight. I was a drug addict overweight. You were a skinny drug addict, yeah. I wish I was a skinny drug addict. At least I could wear better clothes.

But when you're overweight and you're a drug addict, I think it's worse. For some reason. Because I did perks. And when you take pills, you eat. Because I did perks. And when you take pills, you eat. Right. It's not like you take pills and you don't get hungry.

You eat. So I ate more than ever and I got big. And all I was trying to do was take the pills and eat. Out of anxiety, you know? On a scale of 1 to 10 of that season of your life, that that time in your life ten being you had a lot of love for yourself one being you had zero love for yourself where were you on that scale love for myself yeah like self-love self-belief self-confidence oh i can say two one yeah it was horrible i didn't care i mean i looked i was big i was fat i was horrible I didn't care I mean I looked I was big I was fat I was horrible

looking I was had no confidence in myself music wise my career wise I thought I was just an embarrassment

and you got a call I had a call I got a call in 2008 and somebody told me somebody said they wanted me to do a show in columbia and i'm over here i didn't have shows like i had to lie some some people will call me and say if i

could get these other singers and i'll be like yeah i'll get you these other singers and uh and and then i'll get half of their money sure and like the deposit and and then i'll call them say you know what they can't do they can't make it but I'll do it for you for that half and then I'll call cities next to those cities, states next to those states and I'll make three people

contract me that they didn't even want to contract me to do shows. I would trick people into booking me shows without wanting to so I had to hustle my way

so I get this phone call in 2008 and the guy's like, we need Nicky Jam for the June 18th, something like that. And I said, yeah, let me get you my manager real quick. And I'll just change my voice like, yeah, you want a Nicky Jam or something? Yeah, what's the date? Oh, June. Oh, let me check the date.

Let me see. That's the only date we have available. I like it. that's the only thing we have available i like it um i uh i i go i go to columbia thinking in my my mentality is like okay i'm overweight i have no hit songs what am i gonna do in columbia why is these people like they are they are they booking me because they want to make me feel embarrassed like they had like the the headline of the singers

were like they were all killing the game really they were killing they were in their best moments and I'm like the only one that doesn't have a hit

so something from like 10 years ago maybe or something yeah probably like 7, 8 it don't matter like in the music industry

you weren't relevant you need to be relevant it don't matter if it's two years ago. Unless you had the icon status that I have right now, but I didn't have that in those days. I go over there and I see that the show starts. It's a stadium.

There's thousands of people. It's amazing. Everybody was crazy. There was people outside the hotel. I didn't want to go out because I was embarrassed. I had, you know, I was very insecure. When I get to the show, I get to the place where they make you wait, the waiting room. Green room, right? The green room, whatever, yeah.

I'm noticing everybody's performing before me. And I'm talking to,'m talking to the promoter. I'm like, yo, why you got me last? I don't even have a hit song. These people over here have hit songs. They should be the last ones. I should be the first one. I should open for them.

And they're like, nah, you wrong, bro. People here waiting for you because you never been here when you was in your best moment. So obviously because I was locked away. Yeah, yeah. people here waiting for you because you never been here when you was in your best moment so obviously because i was i was locked away yeah yeah um so i'm like wow that's crazy so i i i go on stage and i start performing my my songs and for them they're classics for me they're old songs right for them for them and their classics and uh standing standing ovation it was just incredible i killed the game more than 40,000 people screaming and they were crazy and it was just amazing they didn't care that i was overweight

nothing nobody even mentioned my weight in puerto rico everybody mentioned my weight every day you're criticizing judge in your own country but another country you're a hero it's normal it happens i understand and i get it but then then I realized, I said, you know what? I'm going to stay here because I started doing shows that same week. And I was doing like three shows a day. Yeah, it wasn't a lot of money. But let's say it was $2,000 a show. And I made three shows a day, three shows a day, three shows a Friday,

three shows a Saturday, three shows a Sunday. I was like, bro, I'm making $10,000 a week here. And I started going home. And you were getting appreciated and loved and people wanted you. And people saying I was a legend. And, you know, I was like, I'm a fat legend, but okay, whatever you want to call me.

I think to myself and I say, you know what? I'm moving to Columbia. Wow. I'm moving to Colombia. Wow. I'm moving to this country. This country is showing me so much love. This country is giving me to eat. It's giving me a job. And they appreciate me.

And not only that, the country is so beautiful. The people are so beautiful. The way they treat people, the way they go out of their way to help you especially medellin colombia and i said why am i going back to puerto rico i mean in puerto rico i'm this old school rapper that sucks that has drug problems and crime and stuff like that and here i'm a legend that people love and appreciate. Obviously, I'm staying in Colombia. So I just moved to Colombia.

Make the long story short, I go to Colombia. The first months that I go to Colombia, obviously, I go party. I do all the crazy stuff you do there for two or three months. You know, did drugs, went to the clubs, hang around with the girls. Everything that you would expect me to do in Columbia. But for some reason, I did so much drugs that something happened to me physically where I had a problem in my, I don't know if you call it motor system, you know, everything that your brain controls your body.

So if you're going to pick up this phone, your brain tells you pick up the phone. I was having problems with that because of all the drugs I did, not only in that moment, during my whole life. Yeah. It was catching up to you in your brain. It was catching up to me in my brain. Something was going on in my brain. So one day I had a problem, like a motor system problem.

And when something like that happens, it's just the scariest thing in the world. It's not like you get overdosed or something like that it's your brain not working so i went to a doctor a doctor told me to if i'd rather i should stop or i'm just gonna get a term uh how do you call that when you get when you when you just get a like paralysis or like paralysis exactly and um that's a scary conversation a very scary conversation and he said that and automatically my mentality was like okay i'm gonna stop i call my Wow. That's a scary conversation. A very scary conversation. And he said that, and automatically my mentality was like, okay, I'm going to stop. I called my dad, and I stopped doing drugs.

I got into a room for three days. And you know how it is when you break a drug, especially something with opium. It's like you're cold, your body's vomiting, you're dying, you're cold, you're warm, you're sweaty, you're cold, you're warm, you're cold Your body's You're vomiting You're dying You're cold You're warm You're sweaty You're cold You're warm

Your back Into your bone Three days of that Three days of hell And finally I get clean Obviously that first week And I started getting panic attacks Started getting panic attacks

And anxiety and stuff like that So before I started getting panic attacks and anxiety and stuff like that. So before, I did a song called Pien Sasa Mi. I did this song. Pien Sasa Mi? Pien Sasa Mi, yeah. I did this song. I did the video with $500 that my boy gave me.

When I did the song, for some reason I was feeling worse the panic attacks and i moved into a farm in colombia far away farm in colombia very cheap it was like 500 it was a beautiful it looked like a mansion i ain't gonna lie but to get to that mansion you had to go through uh you know when there's no uh uh when there's no street like there's no street to navigate you have to go on top of a... So it was crazy, but for some reason I just connected myself there. I was feeling better. Anxiety started getting better. I was alone living there in that farm.

I had a cow going through the window eating my arepas. Wow. It was an experience. I felt good. I was feeling better about myself. And I was there for six months, and my manager comes up. Well, he's my manager today. In that moment, he was trying to be my manager.

I didn't want to manage him because I had a lot of bad experiences with managers. I go to, he comes to me and he tells me, Nicky, bro, your song is a hit. I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about? So the song you did with the buddy for 500 bucks, that song? Yeah.

Months prior. I did the song a year ago. Oh, wow. A year ago. I'm like, what do you mean? The Be Inside Me song? That song's been around for a year, bro. That song's on the radio, rejected it.

Nobody wanted to play it. Like, what are you talking about? He's like, bro, look on YouTube. So I went to YouTube. It had like more than 4 million views. In those days, 4 million views for a song was amazing. It was viral. We're talking about 2011.

That was viral. 2012. That was amazing. And it was just one city. The song was killing the game in one city that's all i wanted because i knew if i had a hit in medellin colombia it was going to go national because medellin was like the second capital of the of the country so i go down to uh i didn't believe it anyway so i down, and there's this radio station show, and I go perform. And when I'm performing, when I perform, I sing all my old songs like I always did in Columbia.

And then people started screaming, Pienso en mi, Pienso en mi, Pienso en mi. I'm like, and I look at the DJ, I'm like, yo. Play that song. Do you have the beat? He's like, I don't have the beat, but I have the song. You can just sing on top of the song. I'm like, let's go.

He plays the song. When the beat, but I have the song. You can just sing on top of the song. I'm like, let's go. He plays the song. The beat comes out. The crowd goes. Thousands of people start screaming, and they go crazy, and they start singing the song. Obviously, tears come out of my eyes, because this is the first time I have a hit after almost 10 years. Wow.

To make the long story short, I remember my song went number one on the radio. And I'm telling you, I have Grammys. I have more than 16 billboards. I have American billboards. I have Hall of Fame billboards. I have every award you could imagine. I have them all. And nothing made me cry more than the number one song on the radio in just the city of Medellin, in La Mega,

because it was the first time I had success. I mean, I walked all around the street just crying because I couldn't believe I had something that people were liking. It was domino effect after that. Obviously, I lost weight. I lost more than probably 70 pounds. I was looking great. Awesome.

And when I lost weight automatically, everything changed. Really? Everything. The way people looked at me, the way people talked to me,

like, the security I had to myself too at the same time. It was like, because I know, I ain't trying to lie, but I know I'm a handsome man.

You know what I'm saying? I know I have it. You know, if you don't take care of yourself, you be the most handsome man you're gonna look like i think handsome people could be even look worse when they when they don't take care of themselves you know um so i uh i started you know like thinking okay this this country has more than 65 million people. If I do a number one national song, I can jump around other countries because this YouTube thing is just what people respect.

And it's shareable. This is where my business mentality automatically opened up okay i'm not doing drugs anymore i'm clean and losing the weight i lost the weight because i already lost everything i was skinny again i was looking good i has you know i had a i was very secure about myself. But at the same time, I was thinking, because I know for a fact that if you have a lot of views in those years, automatically other people, and still today, other countries are going to be like, yo, what did this guy have that he has all these views?

So I didn't do one number one national hit in Columbia. I did five number one songs national in Columbia. And I became one of the best singers in Columbia, not being Colombian, competing with J Balvin. Wow.

Being J Balvin, the guy that saw me take a cab trying to get it to show, him and his Range Rover, you know what I'm saying? And I'm over here taking cabs and embarrassed and stuff like that.

I came from that to going toe-to-toe with him in his own country. Wow. Being one of the biggest singers nationally in Columbia, not being Colombian. Has anyone else done that? Gone to Columbia, another Latin singer? No, they've had hits in colombia but not be not not they haven't been the number one wow singer in colombia you know what i'm saying

but yeah there's there's there's i i can't no actually no no no there's a lot of puerto rican that has been having hits in colombia but none of them moved to colombia right right right mark anthony moved there yeah yeah nobody not even mark anthony not even the reggaeton singers from my Columbia, but none of them moved to Columbia. Rob Markman Right, right, right. Mark Anthony didn't move there. Yeah, yeah. Rob Markman Nobody. Not even Mark Anthony, not even the reggaeton singers from my genre. And then from that, we went to like starting to try to work the US. We knew that we needed to do something. Actually, the funny thing is, a song before that, it was already a hit in Columbia. I went to this program called HTV. And I went to Miami and tried to play the song for him. I went two times. I remember his office was in a, like a, it was like in a safe, a bank safe.

It was a big movie. I don't know. The guy looked like Al Capone in there. Showed him my song. I went two times there. And the second time, he's like, yo, bro, I'm just going to be real with you. You're just too old. Wow.

Okay. I'm old. It's funny because I'm living in Colombia and I have all these hits already. I'm making all these views and the guy thinks I'm old. I'm like, no problem. I come out with a song called Voy a Beber, which has millions of views. Probably has a billion views already. I think it has a billion views already.

I do this song and it becomes one of the biggest hits in Colombia. And it starts being a hit in the States, but without the radio support. Just YouTube, social media, Spotify, just people sharing it. We didn't have Spotify in those days. Oh, wow. If all my hits would have been in moments of Spotify,

if you think I'm okay now, bro, it would have been a whole different ballgame. I was one of the singers that got huge without Spotify. And then Spotify came. Hate that, but yes. What do you think it was about these hits? Were you strategic in the, I have to make a great YouTube video? Obviously a great song, but then the video needs to be something that's shareable?

First of all, it was just my moment people loved the music that i was doing i was doing really great music you were inspired apart from that it was the instagram era when it started and i was one of the first influencers in the spanish movement nobody was doing that i was doing videos 15 15 minutes, 15 seconds. 15 second videos back in the day. Back in the days. And I was killing it. Wow. I was walking the streets of Medellin,

showing people when I bought my first car after all the days that I was messed up, all my success, everything, everything. I was really working social media. And that combined with the really good music made people just go crazy about me. Because they saw the human part of me that they never saw. They didn't know. A lot of people saw, heard Nicky Jam, but never knew who Nicky Jam was.

They just heard the music, but they didn't know who you were. They didn't know who I were. Yeah. Because in those days we didn't have that platform. Right. Today we have the platform. And people also love a comeback. Oh yeah, they do.

They love when someone's, they love watching someone crash, oh yeah they love when someone's they love watching someone crash but then they love watching someone come back oh 100 100 and uh yeah they came from them from that to making work in the states there's a lot of parts of the story that you know there's too much and we'll probably be here until tomorrow. But I worked the States, and it came from having five number one hits in Colombia to having five number one hits globally in the world. Come on. Yeah, globally. So from that, World Cup, movies in Hollywood, Will Smith, Ben Diesel, my series, my Netflix series.

Oh, my God, I've done so much. I mean, I don't even know where to finish or start, to be honest with you, but I'm really grateful for what Columbia and my fans and the whole world have gave me. And I'm proud of myself, too, because I busted my... Of course, man. Now, I'm curious because you grew up in an environment that wasn't a rich mindset environment it sounds like both your parents were involved in drugs you didn't see your mom really at all or much i think for

a long time okay so so so to so you understand the story my dad when my dad was, when I was nine years old, they caught my dad with 25 kilos of cocaine. An undercover cop that hanged out with us like he was our friends in the family and all that. So he goes to jail. He bails himself. And instead of going to jail, he takes us as a fugitive to Puerto Rico. Because he knew that my mom wasn't in, my my mom left the house and my mom wasn't in in position to take care of us and nothing like that we was going to be alone so my dad just you know he just took the risk and in those days the system was not like today to today you travel from

the states to Puerto Rico they're going to catch you in the airport today back in the days back in the early 90s it wasn't really like that so my dad takes us to puerto rico and uh that's how that's that's how we end up in puerto rico you know my dad as a fugitive was you know taking care of us and and that's why i didn't see my mom for more than how long 20 years something like that. I mean... Did you talk to her at all on the phone? I lost my mom. 20 years? Yeah, she was a drug addict.

She was in the streets. Yeah. She was in the streets, and then she had a problem where she stabbed this guy, and they deported her to the Dominican Republic. I didn't even know she was in the Dominican Republic. So I didn't know where my mom was. Most of the time that I tried to do music in my comeback was to see if I was if I got famous enough for my mom to recognize me and get to me.

What happened with that with her mom? It did happen. Really series i did a show in dominican republic and uh my uh my bodyguard told me nikki this is lady outside she's saying that she's your mom no way and i'm like you haven't seen her in 20 years yeah and i i couldn't believe it. And I just went outside, and she was arguing with the bouncers of the event, and then I called her, and then obviously we hugged, and we had our moment. Wow. Holy cow.

To this day, you know, we have contact. We talk every day. I bought her a house. You know, I take care of her. I can't really see her as much because she lives in the Dominican Republic because she got deported because of a situation. She can't come here. I'm fighting that. I'm trying to get the pardon from the United States so she could come back. I'd rather have her over here

because it's hard to make a, how do you say? A connection. A connection if she's not with me. Visually with you, yeah. Yeah. What is that like? I mean, I can only imagine just the challenge of having a father doing drugs, your mom not really being around or being in the streets, and you guys having to leave her. I mean, it sounds like you didn't have a good foundation, mentally or emotionally, on how to navigate the world.

No, I never did. Well, I have the street smart. Thanks for that situation. You know what I'm saying? Thanks because of the situation of my mom and my dad. I have a street smart and that's something that you don't study anywhere. You know, I was raised in the streets on my own, literally. I've been singing since I'm 12 years old. So I was always in the streets trying to hustle and trying to make money and trying to do it and try to make it, try to get there. And the big guys would take care of me from the streets and all the guys

from the hood would take care of me. And, you know, like my father did a good job as a father and I respect him. I love him so much. And I will always respect him because he did the impossible to take care of us. And, but I have guys from the streets that I have to give credit to that were my father too as well. Really? Yeah. Who kind of helped raise you as well?

Because you were in what, Old Town, San Juan? Is that where you kind of grew up? Well, the reality is we lived everywhere in Puerto Rico. So we can't say, I can't say I'm from one spot from Puerto Rico. Because when you're poor, you don't really have to stick to one spot. You know, like you move around wherever it's easier or cheaper or whatever so yeah i live in pretty much all the big cities in in in puerto rico when did you start to i guess navigate the emotions of all the trauma because what i like about you and your story is it seems like you've been able to kind of break this generational trauma

and do good in the world yeah whereas a lot of people would just keep traumatizing themselves or doing things that would harm others because they don't have the foundation. The reality is in the moments that I did street stuff and all the bad stuff that I did when I was a rebel and all stuff like that, if I ever did something bad, I did bad to bad people. Ah, yeah.

You know, I'm not justifying it, but the reality is that I never did anything bad to somebody that was a good person because I'm a good person. You know, I never disrespected any person that was humble or a good person. It was nothing that, you know. So I'm really proud of myself as a human being because I've always been a good human being.

Like the kid that I see is this 8-year-old kid that would help all the ladies buy their groceries and bring their stuff and always smile. That's Nicki. That's my essence. That's just who I am. I'm a humble guy. I've always been like that.

I just got crazy and I lost myself, you know. But even in those bad moments i always saw myself as a good guy really um yes i didn't i didn't have that uh mom and dad to take care of me the way uh they had to and and and yes that that could probably you know take a toll when it comes to you know confronting the world but at the same time i appreciate that because today i have so much street smart and and it's because of that it's because i'm a survivor you know and i learned so much in the streets and uh being street smart is something that's very important. You know, I know a lot of people could say, oh, why would I want that? You don't want that. You don't know you want that until something happens to you.

Yeah. You know, until something that you be like, well, if I had a little bit of street smart, I probably wouldn't fall into that situation and thanks for that i've learned not only about bad situation but i learned how to hustle my way into making business and being smart and just you know making things happen because i i the street gave me that the street gave me that knowledge and college doesn't even give you that you know i mean no disrespect to people to go to college but they should show people in college how to pay taxes and and stuff like that and how to you know be an entrepreneur and then make money and and and and and survive in this world and i feel that it's just they show you too much stuff that you don't really need in in in the day-to-day but that's a whole new conversation we'll talk about that some other day absolutely yeah um but yeah i i uh they didn't show they i didn't have that foundation, as you say, but at the same time...

The streets gave you that. The streets gave me that. They gave me something even bigger. What about the biggest lesson your dad taught you growing up? Be humble. Be humble. And my dad is one of the most humblest guys in the world. And it hits me hard, you know, because even in bad situations, my dad was the type of guy that if somebody needed something in their house

or they needed help or they needed anything, my dad being broke, my dad, you know, being in a bad situation, he would go and he would help them, you know. And that's something that I learned from him, you know? And that's the human being that, I'm sorry I can't show you up, but that's the human being that I am, you know? It don't matter the money that I make or whatever I have, I'll help anybody.

Really? That's just the way I am. And I learned that from him. He never gave me advice, you know what I'm'm saying he just showed me how it is to be as a human being and and that's that's nikki's essence you know i'm a humble guy i don't know what you saw when i came inside because sometimes you don't automatically feel it but the energy i give people when i go to places i'm just a cool guy yeah you know it's all love you know i'm saying and and well you see

when I came in when I came in with a big crew I'm like you're like oh that's a big crew they're gonna wait in the room you know what I'm saying

yeah yeah but automatically automatically my mentality is I'm not here thinking I'm a superstar and I'm coming into your house doing whatever I wanna do

I'm automatically letting you know don't worry I'll put my people on the side. Yeah, yeah. I wasn't worried. No, but you probably didn't care. For sure.

But you saw my intentions. Of course, yeah. You saw my DNA is that. I am not the person that thinks he could do whatever he could do just because I'm famous or nothing like that. I'm just a humble human being. And my dad showed me that. That's beautiful.

How do you, I mean, how do you stay humble when you're one of the biggest Latin pop stars in the world and you have, you know, all, a lot of money, businesses, success, followers, fame, you sell out arenas, 50 to a hundred thousand people at a time. How do you stay humble and the, and have the essence of little Nikki inside of you at all times when the world adores you? I could say I stay humble because it's just part of my DNA. It's in my blood. I do not.

If I have to stop being a human being, a good human being to be a superstar, I'd rather stop being a superstar and be a good human being you know it's uh that's cool there's a there's something in when ectolabor said in spanish said is and the way you could say that in english is is it's good to be big, but it's bigger to be good. And that's something that I have in my head, you know? That's always stuck in my head. And I'm the type of guy that when I leave a place, I want people to say, yo, he's a

cool guy, bro. I like being with him. I enjoy it. But I don't want to be the guy that leaves and be like, he's a jerk. I don't want to be that guy. I don't like being with him. I enjoy it. But I don't want to be the guy that leaves me like, he's a jerk. I don't want to be that guy. I don't like being that guy. I'm not happy of being that guy. I don't want to be the guy that comes to a place

and brings a bad energy. Or people be like, oh my God. Or people just deals with me because I have the success or the money or the power or whatever you want to call it I have. I want to be the guy that you really want to hang out with me. I want people that work for me, admire me and not fear me because of the check and work because they admire what I'm doing, you know, and you show people

the blueprint of how you should be. You know, a lot of people, a lot of people, it's not easy. It's not easy. But I think what helped me was falling at the same time and coming from the ground. And if you see my background, automatically you'll realize I was never a cocky guy. I was always the guy trying to help his sister eat. I would go to Dunkin' Donuts and wait in the back when they throw the donuts away, and I'll pick them up, and I'll take them to my sister's so she could eat.

I would go pack groceries and make $20 a day so I could buy ham, cheese, milk, Coca-Cola, and cigarettes for my dad. I've always been the guy that, you know, helps people, and I'll get out of my way, and I know it's easy to say it from the mouth, but whoever knows me knows that if I have cash in me, it's not mine, it's everybody's.

I'm the type of guy that there's a guy in the light and even if he's going to take drugs, I'll give him $100. I don't care because you'll probably get a heart attack in that sun out in that light. And I'm probably avoiding that. And I know everybody will be like, oh, that doesn't make

any sense well because it doesn't make any sense because of the world you live you don't you don't come from that i came from that i understand that situation my mom came from that my dad came from that my uncle died from that so it's just you know it's it's it's just who i am right what about your mom what do you think is the biggest lesson that she taught you from a memory that you have, either good or bad, or from her absence for so long? What is something that she taught you to do or not to do? Whether, again, that she said it or she embodied it that you witnessed. I think what I learned about my mom is just to like, don't take for granted any time.

You know, just be with your kids, man. Enjoy your kids the most you can, you know, the better you can. I'm not going to lie here and say I'm Mr. Father of the Year. I am not. I wasn't raised like that. But I'm the type of guy that if my kids need me, they can get me. Anytime they want me. And I'm there for whatever they need.

I am not Mr. What are you doing, daughter? Because I didn't have that. I never had that. And my kids, if they see this interview, they know. They're going to say, he's real. I am not that father. But if they call you and they get a hold of you. Whatever you need, I'll be there in a second.

Right. Whatever you need. I'm that type of dad. And I'm that type of dad. And I'm not saying that's the best type of dad. That's just, that's the dad that I am. Why? Because of the foundation that I had in my house.

Right. And I know my mom doesn't live the way she wants to live today is not happy the way she should be just because she was she wasn't there for me so I learned that lesson I'm not saying that uh she was uh I'm not saying she was bad or good because when I learn about her situation and what she went through, I understand it more and I forgive her. You can have compassion for her. A hundred percent. And, hey, forgiveness is not for her, it's for me.

Forgiveness is not for the other person, it's for yourself, and that's what I do. You know, I forgive, and I'm happy that I do because I live better. I don't care. I have friends that I have a friend here that I had a problem the other day. I had a problem with him four years ago. I didn't talk to him four years ago. And he's hanging out with me this week here in L.A.

And we squashed the beef months ago. And the reason why we squashed the beef was because in my mentality, I don't feel good having problems with people. I just rather fix the problem. I feel better. I sleep better. And that's just the way I am.

I have friends that are like, I will never forgive that guy. What are you doing? You crazy? Pow, pow, pow, pow. You know, with that macho mentality. Bro, do whatever you want to do that makes you happy. I'm happy forgiving. I'm happy forgiving people doing bad. I don't care. You know why? Because it makes me a better human being. It

makes me, you know, that weight off my shoulders and live a better day. That's beautiful, man. I've heard you mention a little bit about your faith in God in some interviews, written interviews, but I haven't heard you speak about it. Maybe I just haven't seen them. But when did you start to create a relationship with God or what is your faith like today? Well, the thing is, Puerto Ricans, we're very, very Christians. You know, like we believe in God a lot.

We have a lot of, you know, we have a lot of faith in God and a lot of people, you know this world today a lot of people do not think about god and care about god i've realized that back in the days i had there's a whole bunch of singers daddy yankee farruko they're they're in church right now and they they're working they're they're worshiping god and they and they're giving the word they spreading god's word around the world and people are making fun of it like it's a joke i come from everywhere you can't even joke about that so it's it's always been for me god has always been like first for me even if i don't go to church i have a very big connection

with god really i respect god and i know that god exists because i'm living proof because i remember that i told god on my knees, I said, God, there's a whole bunch of talent out there, but none of them got the talent I have. Please, please help me conquer back my career. And I felt that God told me, stop doing drugs, and I'll give you everything back. Wow.

He didn't give me everything back. He gave me $150,000 more. And if you saw where I came from and the hole that I was and what I went through and how my mom was in drugs and prostitution and my dad was a drug addict. drugs and prostitution and my dad was a drug addict and and i was a drug addict and i was in jail at the same time that my dad was in jail because they caught my dad off that case that i told you the same time i went to jail you can't be in a deeper hole than that and then doing hollywood movies and doing the world cup and and and owning businesses and having more than five number one hits globally. Come on.

You think that's a coincidence? Wow. So what was that conversation like? Or do you have a consistent conversation with God? Yeah. If I tell you I pray, I'm alive. I do not pray. I have ADD.

And to pray, you really have to have patience. Yeah. I just talk to God. What do you say? Everything. I'm like, God, I know I messed up. I'm sorry. I need your help here.

I need you to help me with this. Tell me, just guide me. Tell me what I have to do. I know that I'm messing up. Like, I have a conversation with God like he's my friend. I don't sit down and pray because i know there's codes of praying you can't just sit down and ask for stuff you have to first thank god for what you have then second you have to ask for other people's petition what they want and then you talk about yourself

that's the right way that's the bible way to uh to i don't have patience for that right and it's not that i'm selfish yeah yeah i'm not selfish at all it's just that i'm i have add like i'm really i'm the type of guy that that i feel like i could talk if i talk to somebody and the first minute it's not interesting you're gonna lose me you're gonna lose me and i'm gonna be i'm gonna be zombie with you for a long time. And you're going to just talk, and I'm not really going to listen. That's just the way I am. I don't know.

It could be probably the genius part of me because of the music, because I'm always thinking about stuff, and my mind goes $150,000 per hour. You're making $150,000 an hour too. I can make that too. I mean, we don't really need that, but reality of everything is. So you made a pact with God, it sounds like. Yeah. You made a pact.

You made a promise. Yeah, I made a promise. I ain't saying that I haven't broken my promise a whole bunch of times. I ain't saying that I'm perfect. I ain't saying that I'm not messing up. I still have my skeletons in the closet. I still have my problems from the past attacking me right now. Really?

You know what I'm saying? Yeah, of course. I mean. They're still coming after you. They come back, yeah. Really? They come back, man. I mean, come on.

Look. What does that feel like? I saw my mom do crack cocaine. I saw my mom do stuff that people normally don't see. I saw my dad do drugs. You watched it as a kid? I watched it as a kid. I saw people getting killed in my face in Puerto Rico in the hood, like normally, like every kid will see.

And as a teenager teenager I saw a lot of people die best friends I saw my best friend die in my face in my face see when somebody goes to war they get PTSD right and they get treatment for PTSD the reality is there's no really treatment for PTSD because most of them they stay messed up they. They come from the war. Okay, so what's the difference from a guy that goes to the war, from a kid that sees the war from his house and sees what's going on in the streets and see his mom going where she goes to and all that? We still have PTSD.

Ain't nobody telling us we have PTSD. Ain't nobody studying us. But, of course, I saw the traumas that I had of the stuff that I've seen. So yeah, I could be clean a whole bunch of years, but I ain't saying that sometimes I have my alcohol days when I go crazy.

You know what I'm saying? Like, till this day I smoke weed because I need to deal with the anxiety. You need a release. You need some calm, yeah. Because I have a lot of anxiety problems. I've been here standing down and you can see I move my leg. I can't stop moving moving my leg i used to be like that a lot just constantly shaking my knees constantly anxiety i always do trauma yeah i always do that i be i move 24 hours 24 hours a day i can't stop i have my my girl says i have a motor up my

have you ever looked into ways to heal the trauma emotionally? Well, I thought telling my story was going to help me in Netflix, and it helped me a little bit. But you still have those problems, you know? I don't think you ever heal it completely. I think you get better. Yeah, I've been on a, really like a 12-year healing journey. You've been? Yeah, yeah.

I was sexually abused by a man when I was a kid, when I was five. I went through that too. Yeah. You know, my brother was in prison. It wasn't like you, but it was watching a hero of mine

go to jail. Yeah, but that's not easy. That's not easy. And being there and, you know, the trauma of that. Just parents going through stuff, all those things. We all have our own levels of trauma.

I'm not comparing mine to yours or anything like that it doesn't it still affects you no no no no no this is something that i tell people a lot of people tell me that no well you know after everything you went through bro i know people that their parents got divorced they are more affected than what you saw than what i've been through so i can So I can't say your trauma is less than mine. No. I mean, bro, not everybody's built differently. Absolutely.

About 12 years ago, I started opening up about the sexual trauma. And I started reintegrating a relationship with my younger self. You know, you have little Nicky, I've got little Louis. And I started having conversations with him. As kind of weird as that sounds, I started to build a relationship with the parts of me that were wounded and scared and insecure and traumatized for years and said, listen, as an adult, I'm going to be here for you. I'm going to give you that compassion, that grace, that love, and I'm going to protect you. Like I've got you now. And I started to do that work, but opening up about it

for 25 years, no one knew that I was sexually abused because I was so afraid and ashamed. No man wants to talk about that. No one talks about it. But it started opening my heart more. I lived with so much anger and frustration and just wanted to dominate and just win at all costs. And I never wanted anyone to hurt me again. And so that mask would come out in different scenarios. But as I started to heal that, it took many years and still a journey. I started to feel a sense of harmony and peace that I'd never had in my life. I never felt peace inside. Just always on edge. Like who's trying to get something from me?

Who do I need to please? Constantly, and constantly shaking my knees all day long. Constantly on edge. Like where's the attack? I still do that. Where's the attack? Even if I'm on my couch, where's the attack? Where's the tiger coming at me, right?

Exactly. And you opening up about it sounds like it started to support you. You know, you did the Netflix thing, starting to support you. It's been a journey for me, and I'm 12 years in. In the last four years, I've really delved deeper into having a coach support me, healing all the different relationship dynamics. You say 12 years.

12 years of healing. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It's a journey. Like you said, it's not like, oh, I talked about it, I'm healed. I did my Netflix thing in 2018. i still got so much to go and but people won't understand that yeah but i've i've realized you can't just talk about it a little bit and it's not about rehashing the past and talking about it but it's about integrating the vision and the version of you that you want to start living today and mending and healing the

past in the process. And when we can integrate the vision from the past to the present, we create harmonious freedom. And it's, it doesn't mean every day I'm like perfectly feeling peaceful, but it's a consistent practice. Just like the conversation you have with God on a consistent basis. It's a consistent conversation with self, higher self, God, and creating that forgiveness process like you talked about. So I really acknowledge you, Nikki, for starting to open up about it because I know it's extremely hard to talk about. And I know no one's got to understand but you what you've been through. Some people can relate, but no one's got to understand fully the traumas that you've had. And I acknowledge you for, you know, it's the amount of pressure and the weight that you've probably had to carry from the past skeletons and things you're still carrying.

Things you're still carrying that you haven't told anyone and maybe never will. Every day. be an artist and be on stage and, you know, be of service to your team and your family and your friends and your communities. The pressure and the weight, I acknowledge you for being in the process of the journey. I know it's not perfect. I know you make mistakes. I know you're, you know, you've got stuff. I make them every day. I'm gonna make them tomorrow too. Exactly. But the journey you're on, I think is beautiful. And I don't think a lot of people in your position, specifically in the Latin communities, open up and talk about this stuff.

No, no, no. Especially what you were saying about sexually abused. Those are things that people from my music industry... You want to talk about that. ...being a thug and a rapper. You know, people don't open up about stuff like that. So, but I've always been known as the guy that just talks about everything. And I use everybody as therapy. I'm using you as therapy right now.

I use my friends when I play basketball after I finish and I tell them all my problems. And they sit down and I tell them in a funny way but at the same time I'm releasing so that's why you know I I I uh I make it through make it through the days and you know I have these days where I have anxiety and I and a lot of things go and you know depression and stuff like that and I have 16 days where I'm just smiling and laughing and having fun. So, hey, man, it's better. It gets better and better. I am not here saying,

oh, I live a sad life. No, I live a beautiful life. I'm happy. I have a beautiful kid, beautiful friends, beautiful girl. And I enjoy life. You know, I enjoy life

to the fullest, but I have my black moments too. Sure, sure, sure. Dark moments too. I enjoy life, you know, I mean, I enjoy life to the fullest, but I have my black moments too, dark moments too. And I just, you know, that's, that's being a human being. That's just what it is. But you know, my past hasn't been easy. So I deal with a little bit more, you know, I deal with a little bit more weight. Hey, there's some people that have worse than me, you know, there's people having worse

than me and they still live in, you know, some people can't eat. Some people don't have legs. Some people don't have arms. Some people don't have legs some people don't have arms some people don't have uh they lost their parents some people that's this guy said this guy was uh sad all this is saying about this guy that was sad because he didn't have any shoes and then he saw the guy that didn't have feet. Then it's like, you know, it's like you say, there's always somebody that lives a worse situation than you, so be grateful. Be grateful for what you've got.

I mean, you've seen extreme poverty. My fiancee, I was telling you, she's from Mexico. I visit Mexico City a lot. And even in the nicest parts of Mexico City. You'll see it. You know, I'm always reminded when i see a seven-year-old girl walking up just trying to get five pesos to sell a little bit of gum and just day by day yeah i see that in columbia for her parents puerto rico everywhere i mean in la too there's homeless people everywhere it's like there are people

and there are kids that don't have much. And we are blessed even with the problems, the challenges, the traumas that we've experienced. We are blessed. And there's a lot to be grateful for. We are. I'm curious, do you ever think about, do you ever visualize and think about what you want to manifest in the future? Do you put thoughts out in the universe and the world and say i want to manifest this i want to create this and do you ever look at the world that way or is it more of i'm just speaking to god and i'm going after my goals but you're not visualizing as much i don't really have a goal as how i want people to see me i know the reality is that people gonna value me

way more when i'm not in this world and And I know that's just the way it is. They'll value you more when you're gone. Yeah. Why do you think that is? It's just the way it is. Especially with artists and people that's done what I've done and been living where I live. And I know this for a fact because I've seen a whole bunch of rappers that haven't even

done one little part of what I've done. And they die. And then everybody... Then die and then everybody then they're relevant then they're relevant and I'm not saying I'm not well you're massive talking about but it's not about being run but your impact is huge right now yeah but it sounded about that it's about the message of your life mmm Getting to people. People really valuing what you've done in life

and what you've been through in life. People do it because of the Netflix thing and stuff like that because I was smart enough to do it now instead of wait for somebody to do it when I wasn't alive. But the reality is that's just the way it is. I know for a fact it's the way it is.

I'm telling you, when people see everything I went through my whole life and I'm not here, people are going to. Really? Yeah. But I feel like people, you know, see you, respect you. I think it's going to be way more you i think i think i think it's gonna be way wow wow i think it's gonna be way more i and i don't see that people do not respect me i they do respect me they love me they have way respect for me and love and i have loyal fans

and i'm very grateful for everybody and waiting for the fans and everything but i know for a fact that that's just the way it is it It's just crazy. Life is crazy. I mean, you have a new album that kind of talks about some of this, some through lines through some of this. Can you share what this is about and what you're excited about? Well, the album is called Insomnia. Insomnia. Well, in Spanish it's Insomnio.

It's talking about everything. This album talks about everything i've been through these last two years you know i went through i've been through a lot these last two years alcohol um a lot of partying a lot of problems with my uh relationships and stuff like that and i i have a problem with it ins. I don't sleep a lot. You don't sleep much, right? I don't sleep much. And when I listened to this album,

I put together the album, and I listened to every lyric, every lyric and everything that I did to this album, I realized I need to put a name that reflects this. And automatically I was in the plane, and I said, insomnia. Every song is at nighttime. Every song talks about 3 a.m. this,

I haven't slept because of this, or I'm in my cyber truck at 5 o'clock in the morning, or, you know, like every song has, even the nice songs that has an upbeat type of vibe takes place at early dawn. You know what I'm saying? So automatically in my mind I said, Insomnia.

So I have this new song coming out called Insomnia. It's like a merengue type of vibe. It's really insane. You're going to love this song. It's really crazy. It's a sad song, but it's an upbeat song. Insomnio.

So when you listen to the song, you don't even realize it's a sad song. You're going to enjoy the song. You're going to dance and you're going to have fun with the song. But the lyrics are sad. But the lyrics, what it says, is like a sad song. And that's what Nicki's known of, because I did El Perdón with Enrique Iglesias and if you listen to that song, it like a sad song. And that's what Nicki's known of. Because I did El Perdón with Enrique Iglesias.

And if you listen to that song, it's a sad song. But it's an upbeat song. It is. And so when you listen to an upbeat... If you make a sad song to an upbeat song, that's Nicki's DNA. That's what I do. Interesting. Why do you like doing that?

Making a sad song to an upbeat vibe? It's just my way of working. It's just the way I am. I think everybody has their own color, you know? And that's the genius part about my music. You know, it's a contrast. If you sit down and you pay attention, if you pay attention,

if I would sing this song, actually, I do these songs in different beats, in slow, sad beats. And then you bring them back. I make them faster. And then I make it an upbeat type of vibe. And I make the tempo quicker. And then you'd be like, oh, my God, bro, I would have never thought this was a sad song.

That's just the way of me working. Yeah, because when I think of a sad song, like a Spanish song, like a Mexican-Spanish singer, it'd be like, what's the guy's name? The guy who passed away. Juan Gabriel? In the last couple of years. Fernando... Fernando... Vicente Fernando?

Yes. Yeah, Vicente Fernando. Yeah, but he would have these romantic, sad songs. But even if he had these... A slower tempo. Yeah, but you can make that happy. You can make that happy. It's all about the beat. It is.

You know what I'm saying? Because if I tell you, I'm dying, I don't want to live anymore. And then you go, I'm dying, I don't want to live anymore. You forget he's saying that he's dying. Oh yeah, let's go baby. You know what I'm saying? If you make the song an upbeat song automatically automatically you forget it's a sad song. That's just my way.

You know what I'm saying? Music is crazy. You could say even the worst thing, like something very bad to a girl. But if you say it in an upbeat and you make it sound nice, she's going to like it. What do you think, if you could reflect on all the music that you've written and you've sung, just something that speaks to your heart right now. Maybe this isn't the ultimate lyric for you, but what's one sentence or one line in a song that you've written that speaks to your life right now?

Whether it be in a new album, your first song, any of the songs you've worked on, what's a sentence within one of your songs that speaks to you right now whether it be in a new album your first song ever any of the songs you've worked on what's a a a sentence within one of your songs that speaks to you right now hey man you always why you guys always gotta come with these punchlines you gotta make me think is right now that's what i like a song that i a song that that represents Right now, a song that represents me right now, right now has to be Insomnio. What's a line within the song that speaks to you? Antes odiaba yo el alcohol. Ahora no paro de beber.

Lo hago para esconder el dolor. Que a simple vista no se ve. Yeah. Then translate that in English. I used to hate alcohol. Now I don't stop drinking. I do it to hide the pain that you can't see at simple eye.

Damn. The reason why I did these lines is because there's been a lot of controversy about me drinking and hanging out and partying and stuff like that after me stopping drugs 10 years before and people thinking that because you know people don't understand my drug problem was not alcohol was perks and cocaine and stuff like that so yeah that that sentence right there wow there. There's a, I love this, I can't remember if it was,

I think it was the Oscars acceptance speech from Matthew McConaughey when he won the Oscars years ago. He talked about his hero that he was chasing, which is himself 10 years in the future. He was like, I'm always chasing my hero, who is me 10 years in the future. Yeah, I heard that one. And I really like that concept of kind of imagining your future self and what does your future self look like.

If you could see yourself 10 years from now, Nicky in 10 years, and it could be the ultimate version of you, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, physically, you know, lyrically, musically, financially, whatever it is, relationally, what do you see for yourself as that person in 10 years that you would love to be able to get to? I would like to really, I can say, just be behind the scenes and work with new singers. Really? I enjoy the music industry. I enjoy the creative part. I would love to be the guy that, you know,

I already have some artists and stuff like that, but I want to like really focus into that. And, you know, just always be in the music scene. You know, I just like music. It's my life. It's my passion. So just to be a manager, a producer, and create and have... Being part of one of the biggest singers in the world in that moment and 10 years from now, for me that's awesome. Because it's just

something that I want. Apart from that, I just want peace. I want peace. I want to live okay. I want to have health. I want to be happy. And nobody's 100% happy, but at least anything close to 100%. 80%, 90%. Yeah. What do you think would allow you to create more peace in your life?

Allow me to have more peace in my life? Peace. Allow me to have more peace in my life? It's called the school of greatness, not the school of average, Nicky. So that's why I'm bringing these questions for you. The thing is, you really want that answer. That answer is really, this is a strong answer. To be honest with you, I have to retire. Really? Yeah.

From music? There's no peace in the music industry being on the road constantly creating hits there's no peace really i have to retire i'm not doing it now though right you're in your prime i need that piece right now i need the other piece right now but i i ain't retiring now, but I know retiring and just relaxing and enjoying life and not worrying about making more money and making more money and making businesses and stuff like that. There's no peace in there. Yeah. Peace is not caring about anything anymore.

Okay. Analyze this. Who has peace? Old people. They're 60, 70 years old. They don't care about nothing. They let go of their possessions you're stressing about stuff i know you are i don't know what it is but you're probably stressing about stuff i'm stressing about stuff 90 of the people in this in this room outside are stressing about stuff i don't think old people have that situation wow you know why they retire

yeah they chilling they're relaxing they might have regrets but they're not stressing about but you're not gonna you're not gonna have peace when you're grinding there's no when you're hustling there's no peace there's gonna be a little bit of happiness but there's no that's a lie bro there's no way you can have peace because you're always trying to get something more and then how can you have peace when you're stressing about getting more and more you know so that answer that i'm giving you i know it's not the one people want to hear but that's just me that's right yeah i'm the oldest guy for sure i've got a few more questions for you, Nicky. This has been awesome. I'm really grateful for your time.

And before I ask them, I want to make sure people check out Insomnio. Right? Insomnio. I want to make sure they check out the new album. You've got a lot of content on social media everywhere. So people can follow you on Instagram. I don't know if that's the main place.

On Instagram is Nicky Jam. TikTok is Nicky Jam. Everywhere you're at Jam, yeah. TikTok is Nicky Jam. Everywhere you're at. So follow you, check out your stuff. You're on tour right now also? You're doing shows? I'm going to start, yeah. I'm doing shows, but I'm going to start doing the U.S. tour soon.

And so people can go, where can they go to get tickets for the tour as well or the shows that you're doing right now? They go to NickyJam.com and they'll find everything. Everything. Okay, cool. How else can we be of service and support for you today before I get into the last final questions? Nah, man, I'm just, just being here and, and, and, you know,

making this interview and having people listening to what we talk about and, and, and, and really thinking about what I'm saying and taking it as a constructive way. I'm cool with that. That's beautiful, man. What do you think would be the biggest fear that you'll face either now or in the future as you're trying to continue over these next 10 years within your career and, and building what you're building?

Do you have any fears in the process? The only fear I have is to having a, not having health, you know, it's the only thing that scares me. I mean, The fear I have is to having a, not having health. Really? It's the only thing that scares me. I mean, everything else I'm not really scared about. You know, just not having health. Health is everything. Yeah.

If you have health, you can be poor. If you have health, you can be rich. If you got health, you can deal with any situation. Health is everything. Yeah. That's all I want. I want to have my connection with god and have health the best health i could have yeah sometimes i don't sometimes i don't do things right for my health to be okay but hey we're human beings you know we're learning every day

i've heard many times from different people that health is wealth and inner peace is the new rich yes sir i agree with that 100 yeah um there's a question i ask everyone towards the end it's called the three truths question it's a hypothetical question and a scenario so i'd like you to imagine for a moment do i need to have a huge iq to no not at all you just need to have an imagination and i'd like for you to imagine nikki that you get to live as long as you want in this world okay and you get to accomplish and create everything. Anything financially, physically, you know, businesses, you're managing the biggest artists, whatever you want to do, it all happens. But for whatever reason, it's your last day on earth many years away.

And on this last day, you have to take everything with you that you've created. This conversation, all your music is gone. Anything you ever make, for whatever reason, it's a hypothetical scenario, it's gone. It's just hypothetically. And on the last day, you get to leave behind your three lessons. Everything you've learned from your life. From all the music you've created and all the work and the health and the problems and things you've overcome you get to share only three things and that's all we have within your

content to remember you let's just hypothetically what would you say would be those three lessons you would share with the world i like to call it three truths what would those be that you think we lessons that i would like to leave the world. Share with the world, yeah. Before I leave. Yeah, and that's all they would have to, you know, they wouldn't have your music anymore. They could be words?

Yeah, any words or lessons or they could be lyrics, they could be that you think if this is all you can leave behind, what would be those three lessons for people? I would love to leave behind all the funny moments in my life. Because it shows people how to smile always and enjoy life no matter what. That's one of the things. You said I can't include music? All your content is gone, but you get to share a lesson.

I would like to share my traumas and how I surpassed them in many ways. Wow. That's the second one. I swear that's the second one. And I would say I would like to share my humbleness. The human part of me that makes that makes my essence

that's beautiful I've got one final question Nicky before I do I want to acknowledge you for a moment I want to acknowledge you for the evolution of you again this is the first time we've met. I've only seen your stuff online. I see the, the, the creative genius in you through your music and your work and your content. This is the first time we've met and I've heard good things about you from other people that I

know who know you. And I would acknowledge you for being here today through all the traumas and the troubles you've been through. I want to acknowledge you for taking care of little Nikki inside of you. And I know it's a beginning journey that you're going on with, with being there for him and all the stuff that he was neglected. And I want to acknowledge you for being honest and open with people in this conversation, but in everything you do because i think people look at you and they look at people like you and think uh that you don't have any problems because you're you're famous you're successful you've got money and everyone wants that but there's a lot of you know complexities behind the scenes within you and i just want to acknowledge you for being

on the journey and acknowledging your humanity, your imperfections and the things you're working on. And my hope for you, if you don't mind me speaking into it, is that you do find peace in the process and you don't have to wait till you retire. My hope for you is that in your conversations with God, you find a deeper sense of peace and a deeper sense of love and you heal everything that you need to heal because i believe when you keep doing that with yourself you're going to transform the world in a bigger way that you're not even you're not even scratching the surface on how you're able to transform the world and help heal others through your art and your music when you continue to do that for you

so take or leave that i just wanted to acknowledge you for the journey. And I see incredible things in you for the future. So if I can support, hopefully I can come watch a show one day. You can, of course. I can't wait. Bring my lady and we'll have some fun. But I have my final question, Nicky.

What is your definition of greatness? Greatness is humbleness. Greatness is falling, losing everything, and getting up, cleaning your shoulders and get it back again. Greatness is smiling even if you have the worst moments in life. Greatness is helping other people and having fun while you do it and smiling while you do it. Greatness is being raw. And then realizing that you could be wrong and then make it right. That's for me. That's what I think greatness is.

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