The School of Greatness - The #1 Cause of Breakups & The Spiritual Secret To Attracting Healthy Love | David Ghiyam
Episode Date: February 12, 2025I'm going on tour! Come see The School of Greatness LIVE in person!Get my new book Make Money Easy here!In a paradigm-shifting conversation about love and relationships, spiritual wisdom teacher David... Ghiyam reveals why our most painful relationships are actually divine assignments for our soul's growth. This episode offers groundbreaking wisdom for anyone who has ever felt stuck in toxic relationship patterns or questioned why they keep attracting the wrong partners, as David provides practical tools to shift from victim consciousness to spiritual mastery in love. Through vulnerable personal stories, including his own journey of maintaining a beautiful friendship with his ex-wife while co-parenting four children, David illuminates how our relationship patterns are not random but carefully orchestrated opportunities for spiritual evolution. He shares the transformational insight that instead of seeking "the one," we must focus on becoming "the one" by expanding our spiritual vessel to receive love. David Ghiyam’s website to learn more about him and his missionIn this episode you will learn:Why focusing on building your "spiritual vessel" is more important than searching for the perfect partnerHow our souls pre-program specific relationship challenges to help us grow and evolveThe counterintuitive reason why over-giving in early relationships often leads to their demiseWhy blessing your ex-partners instead of labeling them "toxic" is crucial for manifesting healthy loveThe profound connection between your belief in what you deserve and your capacity to receive loveFor more information go to https://www.lewishowes.com/1732For more Greatness text PODCAST to +1 (614) 350-3960More SOG episodes we think you’ll love:Gregg Braden – greatness.lnk.to/1726SCDr. Joe Dispenza – greatness.lnk.to/1413SCGabby Bernstein – greatness.lnk.to/1714SC Get more from Lewis! Pre-order my new book Make Money EasyGet The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX
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There are two big things happening at one time that I've never done before I'm going on a book tour for my new book
Make money easy and I'm doing a podcast tour at the same time
It is going to be big and I'm going to seven cities in ten days
Get your friends get your family bring everyone, you know to these cities. I'm coming to Austin, Texas, New York
to these cities. I'm coming to Austin, Texas, New York, Boston. We're going to Nashville. Then we're going to Los Angeles,
San Diego, and San Francisco. Make sure to get your tickets
right now. Go to lewishouse.com slash tour. Again, bring
everyone you know if you're looking to create more
financial freedom and abundance to your life and you want to
see a massive guest live on the School of Greatness show.
Get your tickets.
I can't wait to see you there.
Welcome back my friend, Lewis Howes here. And I'm so excited about this episode.
David Guiam has been on the show multiple times now, and this is
all about love and relationships.
So if you feel like you've struggled or you've had some toxic patterns that you
have been jumping in relationship after relationship
that hasn't worked for you. David's going to reveal and share the transformational wisdom
about how our souls choose specific challenges to help us grow. And sometimes this is the worst and
it hurts the most in intimate relationships and in love. And also why focusing on building your spiritual vessel is more
important than searching for the perfect partner. You may not want to hear that
but some powerful insights are about to come. Also we've got a new book called
Make Money Easy that is coming out very soon. Make sure to get your copy because
it's about healing your relationship to money and also about how relationships
in our lives and money when they mix without having some of these principles in place will
really hurt your relationships as well.
So make sure to get your copy of this to support you on your journey to becoming financially
free within your relationships as well.
Without further ado, let's dive in.
Welcome back everyone to the School of Greatness. Very excited
about our guests. We have the inspiring David Guiam back in
the house. Good to see you, man. Thank you for having me. Very
excited about this. Our first interview that we did has over
a million views on YouTube and has spread like wildfire in
people's hearts in a way that really resonates with people.
You're a spiritual wisdom teacher for many years,
but you've also created a billion dollar business
with Mary Ruth, with your founder, Mary Ruth.
And you've done a lot of powerful things
in the business world, but also in the spiritual world.
And in your workshops and classes,
you teach a lot about relationships.
Our first episode, which we'll link up for people as well,
go watch that.
That was really a one-on-one on manifesting.
Yeah, it was more about manifesting.
It was a one-on-one on how to really set up and align
your life to manifest more of anything you want.
This one where we're going over is
how to really manifest a powerful, committed relationship
and stop getting in toxic relationships.
Yes.
Because I can speak for myself.
I got in relationship after relationship that felt exciting in the beginning but then turned
– I don't know if I would say toxic but turned stressful.
How do people define toxic?
I just think of there's always a breakdown.
That's how I would think about it.
Maybe it's a relationship that's just
in breakdown mode constantly.
I think toxic is more of, man, this is like scary.
Like scary where it's like aggressive, abusive.
I feel like that's toxic.
I think I was more in just broken relationships.
We just weren't aligned, all of them.
And I take responsibility all of them.
And I take responsibility for creating them
and the space I brought into those relationships
and the intention, all these different things.
But I guess my first question for you is,
is it possible to manifest love, healthy love,
and also, what is the biggest mistake
that people are making when they try to manifest healthy love? What is the biggest mistake that people are making when they try to manifest healthy love?
Mm.
What is the biggest mistake people make
when they try to manifest healthy love?
Well, first off, when I'm sharing these spiritual concepts,
which is based on the wisdom of Kabbalah,
Kabbalah is explaining what's happening on a soul level.
Why our soul comes to this world.
What is the karmic debt and spiritual baggage
we're bringing into this world?
The soul is then choosing parents
that align vibrationally with whatever it is
I need to go through in order to become
the greatest version of myself.
So I don't know if I mentioned this last time,
but if my soul brings this spiritual baggage
of a fear of abandonment,
and in order for me to create miracles in my life,
and miracles in the area of sustenance,
in love, in health and healing, in wisdom,
just to have peace of mind and joy,
in order for me to create those miracles,
the catalyst explained that I have to transform
the negativity that my soul came to the world with.
But the only way to do that is actually to be put
in situations that bring that out.
Really?
Yeah, a therapist might tell you, hey look,
you have abandonment issues because you had parents
who divorced when you were young,
causing you to have these fears
and have these avoidant issues.
Kabbalah says the opposite.
Kabbalah says your soul already had these issues
that brought from past life,
and you are now choosing parents that will be conducive
to awaken what's already inside you.
So it's almost like if you don't believe
that you had a soul contract coming to this world,
if you don't have a foundational belief of like, okay, you were here with this type of
wound or with this type of whatever, soul contract that you needed to heal, that you
actually need this challenge to become the greatest version of you.
And without it, you won't be able to fulfill your life's mission.
You almost need to believe that in order to say, okay, this is all actually beautiful.
The toxic relationships I've had, the abusive partners, the people that lied or cheated on me,
or the things that I did to other people that were out of integrity, this is actually meant to happen for you.
Correct.
So that you can learn how to overcome it.
100%, because any other school of thought
would always put you as the effect,
and you will then always be looking
on the outside who to blame.
My parents did this, and then this person
was a bad partner, and then.
Correct, and it's not the highest vibration.
I always tell people,
it's not about you need to believe
that you had a soul contract.
I always say, I'm gonna share this content,
which is not my content, it's from thousands of years
of ancient spiritual wisdom of all the sages
and all the different religions actually
that were very spiritual in its original intention
and become more religious.
Now, I always share this wisdom has been there to show us that we are in control
and that it is our birthright to have the absolute greatest life in every area.
The Creator wants to give us even more than we want to receive. And it says that the creator wants to give us
endlessly more energy than even we know.
But it looks like things are being deprived from us.
It looks like the world is a very dark place
and people are against me and certain circumstances
aren't fair and people are born in different situations
that aren't fair.
And it does look like that, but the truth is every single soul has a pathway to the
greatest miracles that they could ever possibly imagine.
Every soul has a pathway towards their soulmate, even if it looks like they don't.
Every soul has a pathway towards having financial freedom, even if it looks dark and impossible
and you don't know where it's gonna come from,
there is a pathway.
The fact that you don't see it,
there's a spiritual reason.
It's because our soul asked not to see it.
Our soul asked not to be born with our soulmate.
Our soul asked not to be born knowing our purpose.
Our soul asked to be put in a world of darkness
so that we could activate our God gene
and earn all of this fulfillment.
So it shouldn't just be given to us.
Anything that is just given to us
makes us feel shame and we resent it.
Because when you give someone something they have not earned,
they feel the opposite.
They feel they received less.
So a lot of times, people who don't appreciate us,
it's not because we didn't give them enough,
it's because we gave them too much.
And so they keep thinking I'm not getting,
but it's not that they're not getting,
it's that we're giving them so much
we're flooding their vessel,
and too much light becomes darkness.
Really? Yeah.
When you're giving, not understanding
what the vessel can hold, appreciate, and use.
Which vessel? Yours or the other person's?
Other person's vessel.
This is the number one thing in relationships that's causing breakups to happen or resentment to happen.
Let's say, and I have an example of this.
I remember coaching this couple.
This guy basically said, I found this amazing girl.
We've been dating and it's finally.
Like I am so, I found my dream girl.
I'm so in love and this is amazing.
It's been like three weeks.
And I said, I said, amazing, what are you guys doing?
He said, I'm taking her here.
I'm doing this.
I'm introducing her to my family, all that.
I'm giving her the world.
Giving her the world and I said, wow, that's amazing.
He's like, yeah.
I said, I would love to meet her.
So I met her and she had this like beautiful Rolex watch
but it was like a male, it wasn't a female watch.
I said that's a beautiful watch.
It was kind of big on her wrist.
It was kind of big on her wrist, yeah.
She's like hey, Brandon got it for me.
In three weeks of knowing her.
Yeah, so that for me, I looked at it and I said
that's so generous of him.
And a very expensive gift
within the first month of knowing a person.
Later on I found that he also gave her a credit card and said, hey look, this is like whatever
you need.
Because he wanted to make her feel comfortable.
He wanted to show her how much he loved her.
He wanted her to, he understood her love language was gifts and acts of service, like I want
to give that to her.
Yeah, and he wanted her to feel safe and wow her or woo her as well.
Correct. like I wanna give that to her. Yeah, and he wanted her to feel safe and wow her or woo her as well. Correct, so I know, kabbalistically,
what happens to a soul when you give them too much energy,
you give them too much of something
that they have not earned
or don't have the capacity to receive
or are using it for their own lack in need.
So this girl figured out how to get him to give to her,
gifts, love, expression, to fill her needs.
Then I went to Brandon and I said,
Brandon, you need to know something.
I've seen this before.
I know you're excited about this relationship.
I know you don't want to lose it,
but because you're so afraid of losing it,
you're over giving, and you're literally pouring 16 ounces
of water
in an eight ounce glass.
And you're creating a standard that you're gonna have
to live up to for the length of this relationship.
If you're doing this much in the first few months,
and then you stop doing it, you think she's gonna be
happy with that, she's gonna say, oh, you were creating
a standard for me, now I expect $10,000 credit card
every month, and a new watch every month, and shoes,
and the way you're wowing me in the first month,
you think a woman's gonna be happy
if you just cut it all off and say,
oh, I'm gonna give you a lot less now.
That's not gonna go well in the relationship.
You're 100% correct, because he thinks he's giving,
but he is destroying.
So he's actually taking from her
by giving on what he thinks is giving.
So.
But a lot of women watching or listening might say,
that sounds like a dream man.
He's just gonna take me out and he's gonna pay
for everything and he's gonna take me on expensive trips.
He's in his masculine, this is great.
He's gonna, yeah, provide for me right away
the way I feel like I deserve, a man should treat me.
I've met with thousands of women, one on one.
Maybe 20% of them have been in this situation.
The way this usually ends up, if there isn't a spiritual course
correct, is she leaves him.
Why?
She doesn't respect him.
And this is what she says to her friends.
I don't know, he's really in the front seat.
You're with the perfect guy.
I know. I just, something's missing.
The spiritual connection is missing,
the emotional connection is missing,
the chemistry is missing, something is missing.
Because when you flood the vessel
and you don't actually think from the consciousness
of what's really good for the soul of this person.
Because sometimes giving is setting a boundary.
Sometimes giving is sharing how you feel,
not from a reactive place, but explaining to her,
hey listen, these are the needs that I have
that aren't being met, and I wanna have
a conversation about it.
That's also giving.
But if you're always just pacifying somebody,
if you're not really thinking about how to grow their soul
or to help them or inspire them, you're hurting them.
And eventually she will look for something else
because it's not making her feel good on a soul level.
This concept in Kabbalah is called the bread of shame.
The bread of shame is a feeling you get
when you receive something you have not either
physically or spiritually earned.
The number one way you know you have a bread of shame
is when you feel frustrated, impatient, and judgmental.
When you feel very judgmental,
you think it's because you're not getting what you want.
It's actually because you're getting so much in your life,
but you're not working for it.
You're not breaking your fears and spiritually earning it.
You're not pushing yourself to expand your vessel.
So it's another case of there's so much light,
you perceive it as darkness.
Wow.
Think of the people who are not judgmental or appreciative.
They are the people who are working the hardest.
They are the people who are breaking through stuff.
They are the people who are like,
what's the next thing I can,
way I can give or I can transform?
These people aren't sitting around judging
and speaking evil speech.
Judgment and evil speech is always a result
of not living up to your soul's potential
and being stagnant spiritually.
So you feel emptiness and then you want temporary energy.
And the highest form of temporary energy is evil speech
and complaining because it's so easy.
It's right there.
It's like it's addictive, it's a drug.
So the darkness people feel is not because
they're not getting what they want,
it's because there's too much energy, too much light,
and they haven't built their vessel to hold that energy.
Kabbalah is all about how do I build my vessel.
We are too consumed with trying to find out how do I get more light, how do I get more
energy, how do I get more relationships, how do I get more dates, how do I get more people
to love me, how do I get better looking, how do I get all these things, and less focused
on how do I build my spiritual vessel to hold the energy that is already there.
That's the only thing that matters.
And when you think that way,
then you look at every relationship
as an opportunity to build my vessel.
Oh, I attracted a narcissist.
I attracted somebody who's toxic.
In order for people not to experience
the energy of death and darkness,
and eventually they have to leave this world
and come back and fix it again,
everyone is spiritually designed to come to us,
to activate the parts of us that are the weakest.
So, a narcissist or a toxic relationship
is the very beautiful thing,
your soul pre-programmed and predestined.
Now, how do you avoid it?
I'm not saying we need to.
Should you avoid it?
Well, we have free will.
So Kabbalah explains there is destiny
and there's free will and they both coexist.
So what is the destiny?
On the day you are born,
your entire life's destiny is already pre-programmed,
meaning every sneeze you have,
every relationship you have,
every heartbreak you have,
how much money you're gonna make,
A to Z is already pre-programmed, so what's my free will?
Parallel to this destiny, there are infinite destinies.
Each of them look the same, it's like parallel realities.
And each one that goes higher is a better destiny
and a more fulfilling one.
The only way to shift up a destiny or down a destiny is to go through a period of darkness
because in periods of darkness, you see the weakness,
you see what's called the soul's correction,
you see your garbage, you see your anger issues,
you see your control issues,
you see your abandonment issues,
you see how you're not actually the nicest person,
you see your, save your issues, you see your people pleasing issues, you see how you're not actually the nicest person, you see your, um, saves your
issues, you see your people pleasing issues, and they all come to the surface when things
aren't going our way.
That is the moment of free will.
You only have free will when you're in pain.
At that moment, if you act like God, if you act like the Creator, and Kabbalah teaches
how you do that, if you transform your nature at that moment,
and I can give a tool practically for people how to do that,
you shift to a new destiny,
which is already pre-programmed, but better than the first.
So for example.
So you elevate your destiny.
You elevate to a new destiny, which is already,
it's better, but it's also pre-programmed as well.
So there's an infinite amount of destinies.
There's infinite parallel to us.
And you could live, you know, the greatest version of yourself destiny, or you could stay stuck
until the end of your life.
And just talk about all the narcissists in that destiny all day long.
I agree.
In this life you have, there's probably five or six toxic and narcissistic men and women
that are going to approach you.
And they might be your parents, they might be your siblings,
they might be like the closest people to you at birth.
All right, and what happens,
you know, I saw this beautiful thing,
I think you did it with Mel Robbins,
it's like she was talking about
should you block or not block someone after a relationship.
And somebody asked me the same question.
I said, whether you block or don't block
is not even a question that I
desire to answer. You may need to, you may not need to, but if you block Narcissus number
1 in Destiny number 1, you will be forced to meet Narcissus number 2 within Destiny
number 1. It's not a matter of blocking or not blocking. I want to know why your soul
from the beginning of time requested him or her to come.
Attracted them.
You attracted them for a reason.
Often, narcissists are attracted to the part of you that doesn't feel you deserve to receive love.
We all have shame around receiving.
I've seen this. I know we'll do a whole business thing.
We'll do a whole prosperity thing.
People are, many of the most brilliant people aren't manifesting
the wealth that is meant for them
because they are subconsciously pushing it away
because they feel they don't deserve.
So when you feel you don't deserve something,
you will attract people who will point that out.
And they will tell you, and they will gaslight you,
and they will make you feel up and then down.
And if all you do is blame them,
if all you do is commiserate about them to your friends.
Gossip about them.
Gossip about them.
They're doing this to me.
Can you believe that they did this?
Correct.
You stay in that same destiny.
And then you will, but there's a good backup plan.
The Creator and the universe has a good backup plan.
They knew that you might just blame them,
so they had a backup number two, three, four, five, and six.
Until you learn the lesson. Until you learned the lesson.
Until you learned the lesson.
Now some people say, you know what, I'm done with men.
I'm done with women.
I've heard women say that now they're dating only women
because all men are this way or all women are that way.
I've heard it all.
I've done 25, 30,000 hours of coaching,
meeting every single kind of personality.
This is interesting.
What happens when a woman who has been hurt by men
over and over again say, I'm swearing off all men,
I'm never gonna date another man again,
I don't trust men, they've all hurt me,
they've all been liars and cheaters
and they break my heart every time.
I'm off men, I'm only gonna focus on being with women.
Or being alone. What happens to that woman when they make that declaration,
that commitment, and they swear off men,
and say I'm either gonna be single the rest of my life,
because I don't wanna deal with the BS,
or the pain, or the lies of men,
or I'm just gonna find a woman that I can be happy with.
So the creator has created a backup plan for that as well.
To make sure that you reach your perfection.
So either you will find,
let's say you actually find a woman who's actually great
and you decided now to date women.
And this woman is actually great and beautiful
and nurturing all these things.
And then you decide to have a child with this woman.
Your child will be the narcissist.
Somehow, and here's what's interesting.
You gotta come back around, you gotta face it.
You gotta face it.
The creator's backup plan is children and health.
So eventually, your children will be the ones who will,
because you can't disown them.
Now there are some wealthy people who also.
Who disown them or send them away.
Send them away, exactly.
But the one thing you can't disown is your body.
So I know many, many very, you know,
people are in very powerful positions and situations
with all the money in the world
and all the doctors in the world.
It's very painful because now there's something
that's developing inside their body
and then they can't ignore it.
And many times I meet those people
after some form of sickness or loss, right?
Some kind of death or something happened.
It breaks their ego.
They realize they have a soul.
They realize there's a bigger picture.
They realize everything they've done in their life
hasn't actually gotten them the feeling
that they're looking for.
And so they start to ask questions.
And these questions are,
what is the purpose of why I'm here, why is my
soul here, why did this happen to me? Not from a victim point of view but because
they want to know, they don't want to repeat that pain again. So I always tell
people, here is a spiritual law. If you think your ex or your last
relationship was toxic and you believe it and you begin to
tell people about it, you must repeat it.
If you say your ex is toxic, you're saying the creator is toxic.
Because nothing happens without the creator's infinite supervision.
And influence them, yeah, yeah.
So, if your ex is toxic, and you believe it,
and you're telling everyone, then you're saying
that the creator is toxic, and when you say that,
you're basically disconnecting from all of creation,
obviously, right?
So then energetically, it plunges you into a whole new process of having to actually
go through more and more challenges to course correct you back into your most miraculous
path.
Now, what's really powerful is, and this is how I'm really trying to focus on this in
my own life every day, I just want to be on the highest vibration possible.
And that includes what?
That includes certainty.
Always be in a place of certainty.
Certainty that everything is good.
Certainty that everything will be good.
Certainty that everything's coming from the creator
and it's good.
And your phone falls on the floor and cracks,
you say this is good.
And if someone is speaking poorly about you, you say this is good.
If all of a sudden you have a headache, you say this is good.
If you find out someone's cheating on you or taking your money or giving you a hard
time or a court case is not going your way, you say this is good.
I'm not saying you just say this is good and you do nothing else, but in the beginning
you must accept.
Because when you accept,
and to the degree of your happiness in your acceptance,
which also takes work,
you vibrate on the level of godliness,
because the creator is a vibration of acceptance,
which means you reveal the light of the creator,
then the darkness goes away,
and then the most miraculous path is created for you.
If you don't vibrate on this level,
then you enter into a different pathway
that includes many more challenges
to force you to the path of certainty again.
So why not save the time and the trouble
and just go straight to the certainty,
straight to the appreciation?
And the third one is you always want to be giving more value than you receive, because that's the appreciation. And the third one is you always want to be giving
more value than you receive because that's the creator.
The creator is giving.
As soon as you become a taker,
you disconnect from the vibration of the creator,
which means you disconnect from the realm of miracles.
And part of our spiritual work also
is it looks like we're giving,
but if we have an agenda, we're actually still taking.
Really?
Yeah.
So if I do you a favor, but in my mind, my consciousness.
Oh, yeah.
I want him to do something back for me.
I have an ask later on or whatever.
At that moment, the energy actually
shifts to the vibration of taking.
And there's a lot of people out there that
are like, I'm giving so much, I'm doing so much,
why am I not seeing miracles?
There's one of two reasons.
You're expecting something in return.
Well, exactly, there's one of two reasons.
The first is you're expecting something in return
that you're not aware of.
It could even be validation.
If somebody asked me, how are you gonna get to your dream
of reaching, let's say, 100 million people to bring Kabbalah to them?
There's really only one way I can get there.
It's not the best marketing or the best content.
It's I have to get to a place, which I'm not there, I'll be honest, I'm not there, that
I don't need the validation of my audience in any way whatsoever.
Meaning, if they told me I am the worst human being, or if they told me I'm the greatest human being,
it would be the same.
Then, I'm not taking from my audience anymore.
Yeah, it's one thing that I don't monetize my content,
I'm not asking people to do this and do that for me,
that's one level of not taking.
But the highest level for all of us, content creators,
or if we're on a stage,
when you have thousands of people saying,
ra ra ra, you're the best and you feel good.
If you went home and a thousand people said you're the worst and you feel bad,
it means you're still taking from the audience.
Now.
But in humanity, we still have to deliver value and give results,
and otherwise, we won't survive.
So there has to be some level of like.
Receiving.
Yeah, I mean.
But not needing.
Okay, interesting.
If I need you to be happy, I'm taking.
Yeah.
If I'm receiving from you, it's actually very powerful because
the one of the greatest forms of giving is to receive without needing.
For example. What does that look like? Yeah. Yeah, what does that look like? forms of giving is to receive without needing.
For example, if- What does that look like, yeah?
Yeah, what does that look like?
How many times has someone come up to you
and wanted to do you a favor,
but you didn't need the favor?
And you actually, it's actually kind of a waste of time.
I don't want the favor
if they're expecting something else from me.
Like I'm gonna give you this, I'm like,
okay, what are you gonna ask for?
That's part of- I don't need this. Right, that's part of it. So give you this, I'm like, okay, what are you gonna ask for? I don't need this.
Right, that's part of it.
So imagine you say, you know what,
I will receive this gift, I receive whatever,
in order to give pleasure to the giver.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay, so if you-
Because you don't wanna block gifts either, right?
You don't wanna block gifts because-
If someone's gonna give you something,
and you say, no, thank you for thinking of me
and this generous gift, but I'm okay.
It's so painful to the giver.
So now you're actually hurting the person.
And you're blocking your abundance probably.
Correct.
There's a lot of people, and I've learned this early on,
someone's gonna come to you and give you a compliment.
If you say, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, please,
that's not me, or you block it,
you're actually hurting the person.
The greatest thing you can do
when someone gives you a compliment is to say thank you very much.
I really appreciate it.
And after the compliment is made,
don't let that feed that part of you
that has the abandonment issue.
The ego in you.
The ego in you, or the lack in you,
or the pain in you, or the thing that your mom
didn't give you, your dad didn't give you.
That's why Kabbalah kind of goes into those murky places
of the soul to clean it up, because
then you can go around town, you can do everything without taking from the people, without using
the people.
You can just show up as a giver.
But as long as you need the approval for whatever you have it healed or corrected, there's always
going to be an element of taking in your giving.
Interesting.
What's been the biggest challenge you faced in relationships? Personally. The thing that your soul came that's it's had to grow
through or it's still learning how to grow through? Because from the age of 15
when I learned Kabbalah, so I'm 40 now, from the age of 15 I learned Kabbalah. At the age of 19, I left school, I graduated school,
and I went to full-time volunteering teaching.
So from 7 a.m. till 7 p.m., I met people one-on-one,
and from 7 p.m. to 10 p.m., I would get one or two seminars.
And I was in a position of,
how do I just add value to the world?
And it was the most powerful thing I did,
and I did that, I do that till today,
except the last 10 years also I have a business.
So I was put in a mode of how do I just take care
of every single person.
You call me until I am, I'm picking up the phone.
Anywhere I went there was an opportunity
to take care of somebody.
Give, give, give, give.
Just give, anybody give in a way that you really help them,
like care for them, whatever.
However.
And I know, you know, I'm gonna,
and I feel like one of the things I learned,
especially when I got married,
and you know, my marriage, we separated two years ago,
we are best friends today, and we are like,
there's no one in the world I love more than her.
No one in the world.
And we have an incredible relationship now.
And you have four kids.
And we have four kids.
And we have.
And you have a business.
And we have a business together.
We co-parent together, we own a business fully together.
We are best friends, we talk about everything.
There's no one I respect more in the world than her.
One of the things I've learned in relationships
and in dating is I totally shut down the part
of me that needed to learn what I wanted and what makes me happy.
I found happiness in vicariously living through everyone else's success.
It's part of why I was broke from 20 to 32.
I didn't have a penny.
I couldn't afford a wedding ring.
I had to buy a $100 plastic piece of wedding ring
for Mary Ruth because we had no money, we were in debt.
But part of it was my own belief system
that I don't deserve to receive anything.
I'm here for the public. I'm to receive anything. I'm here for the public.
I'm here for humanity.
I'm here for whatever.
And I was trained to think in Kabbalah.
Here's the thing.
Kabbalah taught me how to stop focusing on myself.
I shouldn't be a giver.
But there's something else Kabbalah teaches, which I totally ignored, which is I also need
to...
Receive, right?
The word Kabbalah means to receive.
Really?
It comes from the Hebrew word leqabel,ah means to receive. Really? It comes from the Hebrew word le-kab-bel, which means to receive.
But all you were doing is kind of going against it by being the most altruistic service person
you could be.
Correct.
Because there are two parts to the spiritual path.
One is to become like the Creator, you need to become the giver.
However, there's a second part.
And the second part I ignored for whatever reason.
I ignored the, okay, now when you're in that vibration of giving,
you need to create a vessel, a desire.
You need to know what you are.
You need to know who you are.
You need to know what you stand for.
You need to know what makes you happy.
You need to know what boundaries to put and what boundaries not to
put in order to receive from the world.
Because the creator can't be revealed unless we receive.
The creator created the creation to reveal the creator.
But if we don't receive,
we are literally shutting down creation.
So this has been one of the hardest things
for me to deprogram.
And I have my Kabbalah colleagues I talk to regularly.
I have coaches, I have mentors, I talk to you.
I'm learning how to develop that part of me,
even as I date or as I kind of move on.
How has that shown up for you then in relationships,
intimate relationships in your 20s,
and I guess being married as well and now separated?
Well, I'll tell you something.
From the age of 20,
till the day I got married,
I didn't date.
I didn't even look at one, I did nothing.
I didn't even kiss a woman.
Come on.
I'm telling you.
Come on, you kissed someone.
I didn't kiss one.
For 10 years?
Not until the night of my wedding.
No, come on, dude.
No way.
That's it.
10 years.
10 years, why?
You didn't kiss one woman.
Not one.
Not even like a peck on the lips?
No. Come on, man. Really Not even like a peck on the lips? No.
Come on, man.
Really?
Not even a peck.
Why?
Now, that's extreme.
I don't say, I don't think anybody else.
You were in monk mode.
You were like, I'm at service, I'm a monk.
Part of it is because I have an extreme personality.
Yeah.
And I really wanted to be the best that would ever I do.
Not until your wedding night?
Not until my wedding night.
Come on, dude.
Did she? I never said this publicly. Come on, dude. Did she?
I've never said this publicly.
I don't know.
I never said this publicly,
so let's see how this is gonna go.
I mean, that's powerful.
I don't know what kind of backlash
I'm gonna get after this,
but what was my mindset?
My mindset was I have a spiritual platform.
I've seen many people in my position fall.
Abuse it or?
Abuse it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Obviously I was surrounded by,
you know, you're surrounded by.
Celebrities and beautiful women and.
All the time.
People going through like heartbreak
or going through tragedy that are coming to you
and see you as a spiritual teacher.
Correct, and then there's,
because you're there for them, there's transference,
there's all these things that happen.
And I just said the simplest thing for me to do,
and I told the creator, I said,
Creator, when I'm ready for my soulmate,
she will appear, and I do not want to think about dating,
I don't want to even turn on that part of me.
And look, did it work for me?
It did work for me because I met
the most incredible woman in the world,
and we're born on the same day, same year,
I'm two hours older, February 11th, 1984,
our parents, our moms were in labor at the same time
in two different parts of the world.
And we attracted each other vibrationally
because we were meant to come together
and to create everything we've created.
And I knew on day one when I met her,
she's the one, end of story.
I didn't care about anything else.
And that was it, we got married.
How did you know on day one you met her that she was the one?
But also, she's not the one anymore.
In an intimate, sexual relationship.
In a romantic way, yes.
However, she, here's the thing about soulmates.
There are many versions of soulmates.
There are many aspects to soulmates. There are many aspects to soulmates.
There are many parts of our soul that must match up with other souls.
I think everyone's focused on the one or the this or the that.
I like to shift my focus to I am the one.
I have to focus on I am the one.
Because the only reason I'm here is to transform myself into creative vessel
for the light of the creator, which manifests as prosperity
and love and all the beautiful things of this world.
And we will meet people for whatever karmic reason
and whatever past life reason and whatever this life reason
to help us become the best version of ourselves.
For whatever reason, you know, and obviously, I
want to be careful because we're talking about
other souls and I wanna be also respected privacy,
but for whatever reason, it was, we felt,
it was deemed that our souls, in order to elevate
to its next level, had to elevate in this way.
And this is why our relationship today is,
I mean, it's almost like strange for a lot of people
because the love that we have, like if she needed a kidney,
I would be first in line to get it.
Wow.
Right?
So you're still soul mates in a certain way,
but you just have to transform the intimate relationship.
Absolutely, and by the way, when I date,
I make that clear on day one.
Not that.
What do you say?
I say that the most important person in my life
is the mother of my children.
Why?
Because, and I've seen this,
if you look at the mother of your children as your children,
this is the highest vibration, I believe.
Because all the reasons why we don't,
and I don't wanna put a, like,
this is how it is for everyone.
I want to be very sensitive because everyone
is very different situations.
There's so many difficult, painful situations.
And I'm really sensitive to that,
and I've seated and insulted.
But the goal should be, the desire should be,
if I had no ego, and I had no fears,
and I had no personal issues.
How would I treat the mother of my children?
And the father of my children.
It goes both ways.
So many separations and divorces I see because maybe one person's hurt or one person got
rejected.
Then there's a power play.
Then they want to hurt back.
There's a situation I know where they're prolonging the divorce and making sure
that they don't get the money because she stopped loving him
and she loved somebody else,
so he wants to teach her a lesson.
Like, all of these things, it's all, and I get it,
by the way, when you're in it, it's very painful,
because now what's happening, you're-
You feel betrayed, or you feel feel this or you feel whatever.
Yeah, but your soul came to this world
to correct and cleanse and heal betrayal.
Your soul saw that at the age of 25,
you were asked for this woman to come in,
and at the age of 38, she had to be taken away from you,
just so you could find and experience betrayal
and transform it.
But in a past life when this happened, what you did was you prolonged the divorce.
You hurt her.
You told the children that she's not a good person.
You played games.
So when your soul left this world, in the upper world, they made the calculation.
They said, hey, listen, you only came to this world to heal betrayal and to love this other person unconditionally even after she hurt you.
When your soul leaves your body, it sees everything.
There's no ego.
So the soul says, oh my God, I can't believe I spent the last 80 years.
I totally didn't get it.
All I did is hurt her.
All I did is run after other forms of instant gratification, I ran
after another relationship just to numb the pain, and I did a work on my soul's correction.
That's considered hell.
Hell is the soul seeing all the missed opportunity.
What does the soul do?
The soul says, please put me back into this world.
So I can correct it.
I can correct it.
I want to be back with her again. Oh, man. I want to be back into this world. So I can correct it. I can correct it. I wanna be back with her again.
Oh man.
I wanna be back with her again.
I want this whole situation.
I want it to be exactly the way it was.
Oh, by the way, that guy that she cheated on with,
make sure he's there exactly the way he is.
Oh no, so I can correct it.
So I can correct it.
Oh my gosh.
I, oh my God, because the soul also sees it
if he were to correct it, this world
that's waiting for him, this new soulmate, this new wealth, this new everything, the
wisdom, he saw all of it.
He's like, oh my God, like if any part of the challenge was diminished, so would the
reward be diminished, and he would not want that.
And the soul begs to come back in, and then the process starts over, and then there's
an astrological date where the soul comes in, and then the process starts over, and then there's an astrological date
where the soul comes in,
and then based on that time and that place
and that unique, exactly spiritual vortex,
the soul is attracted to exactly the astrological influences
that match its soul's correction.
That's why that soul came at that moment,
and then there's certain pairings involved,
and the whole thing starts over. Wow. This also, I don't know why I feel came at that moment, and then there's certain pairings involved, and the whole thing starts over.
Wow.
This also, I don't know why I feel called to say this,
but I'm just gonna say it
because maybe somebody needs to hear it.
Say it.
And every time I've shared this,
for the last 20 years, there's always been
at least one person that came up to me and said,
because they heard this,
they transformed their way of thinking
about committing suicide.
I don't know why I'm sharing it, but I'm sharing it now.
Suicide is the complete shutdown
of the desire to receive.
It's basically saying, I do not want to receive anything,
which we have now learned,
the whole purpose of creation is to receive. So when a person takes their life, it creates such a
soul correction that the soul has to come back. So what's happening here is when a really great
soul, an elevated soul has a lot of karmic debt as a result of being a great soul, an elevated soul, has a lot of karmic debt.
As a result of being a great soul, they will go through certain periods of darkness.
It could be mental illness.
I mean, many things, circumstances that will make them feel there's no escape, there's
no way out, there's no hope.
I mean, so much pain, so much suffering, so much depression, so much agony.
What's the point?
Correct.
And it gets to a place where they start
to contemplate suicide.
Those thoughts, those feelings, those desires,
there's nothing to be ashamed of.
We have to know that your soul is so powerful,
it's meant to do so many great things
but you're not allowed to see it.
Because if you could see it, you wouldn't pass the test.
It's actually, when a person is contemplating death, it's actually because
of the highness of their soul and what they're meant to do, which they are now allowed to
be shown. However, what they need to know is, at that moment, if they do take their
life, let's say at the age of 36 and two months, two weeks at 2 p.m., they have this intense
in two months, two weeks at 2 p.m. They had this intense desire to leave this world.
It is because in a past life, at the exact same moment,
they had this desire and they took it.
Then the soul leaves and says, oh my God,
if I had just waited an hour, a day, a week,
if I had just pushed through,
every problem was about to be solved.
Oh, everything, the soul sees it. through, every problem was about to be solved.
Everything, the soul sees it.
And again, it begs to come back,
and it begs to go through the same painful,
torturous, traumatic process up until the age of 36.
And I always tell people, if you're thinking about this,
you must know that you've been in this situation
maybe hundreds or thousands of times before.
This is the moment you can actually break the cycle.
And you must know that if it's this dark, this bad,
that is equivalent to the greatness that will come.
One time I shared this.
In one of my classes, a woman came up to me and said,
I need to tell you something.
This is the end of a 10-week course.
She said that about 15 weeks ago,
she was very overweight, she had a lot of problems,
she was being bullied, I think she was in her early 20s.
She said, I decided that I didn't wanna live
in this world anymore.
I went into my room,
and I was kind of talking out loud
to the creator, to the world.
She was, I think she was Christian, spiritual.
Then she saw a book on her shelf.
It was a book that her late father had given her
because he saw that she was struggling
and it was actually a Kabbalah book.
It's called Power of Kabbalah.
What was it called?
Power of Kabbalah.
So she's drawn to the book.
She should remember her father gave it to her, she never read it.
She took the book out and she started reading a few pages
and she felt like there's some soul connection to it.
Then she looked flip to the back of the page and saw like,
where is their Kabbalah seminars?
Then she saw that I was opening one a week later.
She said, you know what? My father gave me this book.
Maybe my father's speaking to me.
I'm going to go to this. But then she put it in her calendar. After the 10 weeks, she was going
to end her life. She comes up to me at the end of the 10 weeks. She actually told me this and she
got up in the class and said it. She said, look, tonight is the night I was supposed to take my
life. But I've gone through this journey and now now I see that I'm meant for great things.
Even though I was bullied, even though I'm overweight,
even though I can't find a healthy relationship,
even though I feel not loved.
Is she with her the whole thing?
Beyond my logical mind, I am choosing
to know that I am a vessel for great things,
even though I cannot see it.
She ended up becoming such a miraculous woman,
doing incredible things, so much so that at an event
we had with 3,000 people, she got up there,
she had lost the weight, she had a relationship,
so many things happened, and she got up
and she told the story.
And she's living her best life.
And it's so powerful, so I don't know why
we're talking about it, but whoever needs to hear it needs to know,
no matter what your situation is, to the extent of the darkness you're going through, to the
extent of the confusion you have, and to the extent you cannot see the future, to the extent
of the greatness that is waiting for you.
And you've been in the situation.
Wow.
So the bigger the pain, the bigger the greatness on the other side.
If you're willing to go through it, make conscious decisions to improve your vessel of spiritual
growth.
100%.
I think I've only asked one question, and we've already been going so deep on this.
And I want to bring it back to a grounded thing that you talked about towards the beginning that we as human beings,
we're talking about relationships, but we as human beings, from your perspective, from
your beliefs, from these principles and these laws, our entire mission should be thinking
about how do I build my spiritual soul's vessel?
How do I build a greater vessel within my soul so that I have the capacity to take on greater
challenges and greater abundance? Would that be a correct statement for you?
That would be correct. So it's about we should be focusing on our soul's vessel, not how do I meet the guy, how do I meet the girl
to give me love, to make me feel loved,
to make me look good on social media, to have fun with.
We shouldn't be thinking about that
when trying to create a relationship
or get into a relationship.
And again, this whole topic is about
really how to manifest a committed relationship
and stop attracting toxic partners,
stop attracting relationships that feel like, gosh,
they're great for the first six months,
and then there's just breakdown and problem and breakdown,
but then I'm already chemically and emotionally entangled
and sexually entangled, and then I'm the parents,
and I already planned out the wedding and all these things,
and how do I get out of this now?
And then I repeat the cycle over and over again.
And what I'm hearing you say through all this
is that most people are thinking that way as opposed to,
how do I build my soul and my spiritual vessel
to be its greatest it can be?
And then from that place, start dating.
Beautiful.
Start having conversations.
Beautiful.
Flirt with someone.
Hey, let's go get a coffee.
Let's go for a hike.
Let's go walk. Let's do an activity together and just start having conversations from a place of
what it sounds like a healing journey. Unbelievable. A journey of wanting to expand. A journey of
how can I make this moment great? How can I be of service in this moment? Not how can I get something
from someone or how can I gain pleasure or feel good about myself, how can I create that within, how can I know that
I am the one for me, I don't need someone else to be the one, and when I become the
vessel for myself that is needed to serve my highest purpose in this moment, in this
day, then I will be able to see people that I feel like are more in alignment with that vision as well.
That they are more in alignment with creating
a spiritual vessel within themselves,
and then we can start to have conversations.
Do we align spiritually with our life's mission?
Is there alignment as opposed to when are we gonna have sex?
When can I get a kiss from this person?
When are they going to buy me something?
Is he the one?
Is he the one? I don't know.
What do my girlfriends think?
What do they think?
Do they like him?
We're asking the wrong questions.
Complete distraction.
They're all distractions.
Why are we so distracted when we're dating and looking at all the wrong things?
Why is it happening for so many people?
When the soul came to this world, it asked for an opponent.
And we all have an opponent.
It's an energetic force.
It's actually a positive force disguised as a negative one,
whose only job is to, at our level,
challenge us, make us feel doubts, worries, and fear.
So for example.
So that's supposed to happen for everyone.
That happens on everyone on their spiritual level.
As you grow spiritually, so does your opponent
because of the bread of shame in order to earn everything.
So people ask me, because I make mistakes every day.
People are like, wait, you've been studying Kabbalah
for 25 years, should life's work?
How have you, the first thing they said is,
how did your marriage not work? I said, no one should ever say their marriage did not work.
Nobody, forget about me, nobody should say that.
Nobody should say that that last relationship didn't work because then you're basically
seeing the creator made a mistake.
Everything worked as it should have.
The only thing we need to focus on is what we can do to transform our vessel.
Some people may need to have five marriages, I don't know.
Some people may need to only have one.
Sometimes they say the soulmate or the, you know,
a different level of soulmate comes in the second marriage.
There's many different opinions and spiritual writings,
but what we know for sure is you
are here.
It is only you in the light of the Creator.
Everything else is there designed for your greatness.
So every time you say something, it was a waste of time.
Every time you say something, it was a mistake.
Every time you say, he is toxic, she is toxic, he's a bad person, all you're doing is shrinking
your vessel and delaying your wedding day.
Let's say you just got out of a relationship that you found to be painful.
Every day that you tell people that was toxic, that I wish I never got into it.
I wish I never met him.
He was horrible.
She was horrible.
They wasted my life and stole time from me,
and my best years are beyond me, and all these things.
All of these things.
He or she robbed me of my best.
Every word that you say on that vibration
delays the meeting of your soulmate by another hour.
Imagine that.
So instead, choose today to bless this person,
to love this person, to reach out.
I mean, look, there's work involved here, right?
I'm saying the headline, but there's work involved.
And if someone has sexually abused you or harmed you
or been emotionally abusive or controlled
and done some horrible things, what do you say to maybe
a man or a woman who's like,
no, this person was just horrible.
It wasn't just, oh, they were emotionally abusive here
and there, and it was a waste of four years of my life.
But they beat me, they sexually abused me,
they freaking cheated on me with my best friend
behind my back for years and lied about it.
What if they did some really bad things?
How do you bless and want the best for someone
who has really hurt you?
This is a very horrible thing.
It's a very painful thing.
I hope that no one has to go through this.
I hope that my children, if children went through this, it's like a horrible thing.
We must acknowledge that that is a painful thing, that is a horrible thing.
By the way, if someone came to me and said that, I wouldn't be like, well, everything's from the creator
and you need to see it as good.
Absolutely not.
We need to be there for people and feel their pain
and empathize with them and go down into the mud
and the disgusting, painful situation with them.
And we cannot judge them for it.
That's number one.
Now, if you're asking me, how do I get to the ultimate results where I will be happy
and I will have my greatest life and I will have miracles and I will have success and
I will find my soulmate quickly, I would say if you could at least start with the desire
and the prayer to the universe and say, look, I'm not there.
I'm angry. I'm angry.
I'm frustrated.
I am in pain.
I feel like garbage.
I feel so betrayed and hurt.
I am at the bottom.
But I desire to not be there.
I desire to be on the vibration of love.
I don't know how I'm going to get there,
but you start there.
It says that the universe
remobilizes all the forces in this world to support you to get there.
You will always be led by your desire.
If you desire, for example, to rob a bank, the creator will show you how to do it.
You will be sent thieves.
You will be sent other people who are on that vibration who want to steal from the bank.
And you will manifest it.
A thief, a very good thief could also be a very good businessman and a very good husband
because he knows how to manifest his desire. His desire is to steal.
Now imagine you take that desire and you shift it to something positive.
When I was 14 years old, I started playing poker like eight, nine hours a day.
I was trading in the stock market.
I was addicted to gambling.
At 14?
At 14, 15.
How do you have money to do these things?
Well, at 15 I made my first million dollars because I was obsessed.
I had all this energy.
I didn't know what to do with it. How did you make a million dollars because I was obsessed. I had all this energy, I didn't know what to do with it.
How did you make a million dollars of 15?
It was, I asked my father for a little bit.
My parents really believed in me.
They saw my, I said, look, you give me a little bit of money,
I will bring it back 24th.
So he's like, well, all right, fine, trade in this account.
And I had fun with it.
So it was through the stock market.
It was through the stock market.
And through, I went to Casino. It's through the stock market.
And through, I went to Casino, it was a very interesting time.
So I brought all of this kind of energy, which is really interesting, because I did a Kabbalistic
chart reading when I was like 16 years old when I first came to Steadicaballa.
I said nothing.
I sat there.
I said, based on the time, the place, everything, and there's also intuition involved because
people feel your soul, people feel things, they see things.
She said, she looked at it, she said, past life gambler.
I said, what?
She said, based on your chart, you have an addictive personality.
Past life gambler, and it's one of the things you need to correct in this life.
And you were already starting it as a teenager.
She had no clue.
I'm 16 years old.
I think she's thinking, hey, be careful when you get older.
She said to me, she said, for you to fulfill your correction, I would avoid casinos.
What's interesting, yeah.
So after I heard that, I realized, oh my God, this desire I have, which I've been channeling through gambling
and addictive behavior, if I could channel all of this desire and energy into helping
people, it's the same methodology.
It's just desire, and then the Creator will help me with that.
So then I'm like, well, what's the greatest thing I can put my energy into to be successful?
I always wanted to be a billionaire when I was young.
That's why my parents were like, you're doing what?
I graduated UCLA top of my class.
I had a perfect score in my SATs.
I had everything going for me.
I was supposed to go to an Ivy League school.
I was supposed to be their golden child.
My brother's a physician.
Everybody loves him.
I'm from a Persian family in Los Angeles. And I told my parents I want to join a nonprofit
and teach Kabbalah.
They said, you want to what?
I said, how much money are you gonna make?
I said, no, no, you don't make money.
Yeah, you pay.
Yeah, exactly.
Exactly, they're like, wait, what?
How are you gonna live?
I said, no, they pay for my housing and my food
and I get to focus on the people.
They're like, well, how are you gonna raise your family? I don't know. How are you gonna, what woman said, no, they pay for my housing and my food and I get to focus on the people. They're like, well, how are you gonna raise your family?
I don't know.
How are you gonna, what woman's ever gonna wanna
be with you?
I said, I don't know.
I said, all I know is I believe that if I can channel
my energy to help other people find their soulmate
and other people find their wealth and other people,
according to the spiritual laws, I will get everything.
I don't know how it's gonna happen.
They lost their mind.
But, you know, they totally lost their mind
for a couple years.
But my mom always told me, she said,
look, I always knew that you'd figure things out,
so we didn't totally freak out.
My parents trusted the process.
My brother trusted the process.
And you know, here.
And you were putting your energy towards good.
You were being in service.
So what parents are you gonna say, stop helping people?
You know, stop, like you were focusing your energy
on something positive as opposed to,
I'm gonna go just travel the world
and take drugs all day or something.
You know, you weren't like, correct.
I don't know what I'm gonna do.
I'm just gonna figure it out for five or 10 years.
You were like, I'm on a mission.
I'm here to serve. I'm here to learn. I'm here to to figure it out for five or 10 years. You were like, I'm on a mission. I'm here to serve.
I'm here to learn.
I'm here to help humanity.
Correct.
And they thought it was very noble.
But they're like, can you just do it a couple hours a week?
Right, right, right.
Yeah.
Can you make money doing it?
Can you make money?
I mean, like, you had made money.
And you have the potential.
And like, you know, they're thinking like parents.
Like, how are you going to live?
Like, who's going to take care of you?
I remember when I got married, I had a couple thousand
dollars in my bank account from birthday money
I had saved up and.
And you never kissed anyone?
Never kissed anyone, I had made experience.
And I didn't have, I didn't have a credit card,
I didn't have credit.
I remember we had to like sign a lease and I'm like,
I don't have any credit, what's credit?
I didn't even know what was going on.
And I mean we'll talk about this probably in the business podcast, because that began
my business.
That began the most miraculous journey of miracle after miracle to create what's today
married with organics.
That was the moment.
So the first 10 years of my life, it was about how to just create that spiritual vessel.
And I believe, I don't know how many people,
it's probably in the millions of people I got
to connect with and touch and whatever.
And also not having received for myself,
I think helped tremendously.
It helps to become pure because you're not thinking about,
well, what am I gonna take from this person?
Or how much are you gonna pay me?
Or it was really a beautiful thing.
I do believe without a shadow of a doubt,
those 10 years created the vessel for the...
For abundance.
For the vessel of abundance that came through Mary Rood,
which we'll talk about in the next part.
That's powerful.
Now here's a question I think everyone is asking,
which is, how do we get on the vibration of love
to be able to receive the love we want?
How do we get on the vibration of love
to be able to get the love we want to receive?
First thing that comes to mind is,
you can only receive what you believe
you deserve to receive.
That's the first question I would ask all of us because you could read all of the books
about love and dating and relationships.
You could be on all the apps.
You could have the best photos.
You could have the best profile.
You could have a matchmaker out there scouring the earth to find your soulmate.
You could have a beautiful physique and have amazing personality.
However, your belief system about receiving is your capacity to receive.
This goes for financial well-being, but especially love. And I ask this question to myself,
and I tell everyone to ask it to themselves,
what do you believe you deserve to receive?
And it's very interesting,
because if you really look deep down inside,
it's not just like one answer.
It's a pie chart.
If I take this pie chart, there's probably 50%
that believes I deserve to be in a healthy relationship.
There's probably 20% that you're not aware of
that believes you should be in an abusive one.
Why do people think they deserve
to be in an abusive relationship?
Maybe they saw that, maybe they did something shameful
in their life that they're not aware of consciously.
And what do we do with shame?
We feel, we hide and we diminish ourselves.
So we subconsciously want someone to diminish us
in order to not feel guilty about the shame.
So the way to say is 20%, that kind of desire,
50% could just be a really healthy desire for love.
Then there's maybe 20% that I want my freedom
and I have a belief system that relationships
equal a loss of freedom.
Or I'm trapped or if I'm committed,
then I'm gonna miss out on something else
or whatever it might be.
Correct.
Maybe there's another 10% that believes that relationships
are a really beautiful thing
to help you grow spiritually, which is a very positive desire.
You look at this pie chart, you will see that this pie chart represents your entire dating
life.
You will see that maybe the 50% because it's the bigger part of the pie, you go in these
relationships the last three to six months and they're very healthy, but then the 20% of
I don't deserve kicks in, or the 20% of
I need my freedom kicks in, and when that desire kicks in,
you start to self-sabotage, and you're not aware of it.
So you start to make them avoid it.
You start to do things that are not in line
with what you were before.
And here's the thing, it's not about judging anyone.
I tell people, I'm very curious always,
if someone was loving you for three to six months,
and then all of a sudden, they're not present
and they're avoidant, they're not a narcissist.
They're not, oh, he loved bond me and he manipulated me.
No, that's not what, I get that's what we say
to try to understand our pain,
but if you really look at it on a soul level,
everything that's happening commensurate
with the desires of the person that they came to heal,
that you both chose to find each other for
in order to do it.
Whether it's for our nights or weeks or months or years.
Correct, and they are not allowed to enter your orbit unless your soul gave permission.
You cannot get into the king's chamber.
There are so many guards around the king and walls.
If someone got into your life, into the king's chamber, if they're sitting at dinner with
you and you're having a conversation, you start dating, do you know how much permission
must have been given spiritually?
For decades, for centuries, just for that moment for the person to show up at the same
moment as you.
100%.
All the things that had to go wrong or go right in order for you guys to meet in that
moment.
100%.
Isn't it crazy to think?
It's unbelievable.
It's profound.
It makes me feel like, wow, this world is so big and so vast and so amazing and how
small we are, but we get into our, I know what's going on.
And then here's the thing,
the social media algorithm knows.
Feeds you.
What we're going through, so they just validate it on a page.
Over and over again.
Yeah, it's not like if I am trying to find out
about abusive relationships,
I just keep getting videos that acknowledge the abuse
and makes it harder for me to actually do my soul correction.
My vessel shrinks more and more, my vibration drops,
and I will have to go to a very painful situation
to restart that whole process.
Now I wanna ask you a very important question.
What is the difference between what men want and what women want in a healthy long-term
relationship?
And before you answer it, for anyone watching and listening right now, leave a comment below
of the biggest takeaway so far that this episode has supported you with.
So if you're watching on YouTube, leave a comment below, like this video, share with
a friend.
If you're listening on Apple, Spotify, wherever it might be, share this with someone and ask
them their biggest takeaway on this episode.
And the question is, what on a soul level do men and women really want and are there differences?
And before you answer, I want to let people know that they have to follow and subscribe
in order to get the answer because we're going to go into part two on relationships with
this question.
So again, what men and women really want on a soul level, we're gonna do a full second episode on this topic
right now that will come out soon.
So make sure to follow this, subscribe.
I think there's a lot here to get people started with.
I wanna recap a few things.
And before you continue, people should know,
you and I, we read, Louis messages me like all day long,
look at this comment, look at this question.
What do you think of this? We are reading everything. We we're reading it all and we're sharing it with each other
And so this isn't like bots or our team like Lewis and I have a text chain
Look at this look at this look at this look at this you see this
Yeah, people are coming up to us left and right and saying oh the first episode
We'll have the first episode also linked up so you can go through that and I think that'll be important if this is the first
Time you're hearing about this or this someone sent you this go watch the first episode also linked up so you can go through that. And I think that'll be important. If this is the first time you're hearing about this
or someone sent you this, go watch the first episode we did.
But there's a few things here,
and again, we're gonna go into a part two in a second,
but there's a few things here I wanna recap.
The whole thing should be figuring out,
how do I build my vessel on a spiritual and soul level
and expand it for healthy, abundant,
harmonious, aligned love.
I think a lot of people who are single
or are struggling in relationships
are trying to figure out how do we make this work?
How do I find the right partner?
How do I find my soulmate,
which is what we're gonna go into?
What do men and women really want?
How do I think like them?
How do I, you know, I'm done with men,
I'm done with women, all these things, right?
And we're talking about in this episode is,
how do I build my spiritual soul's vessel?
And-
And now I have a really powerful example for you
when we do the next show.
It just came to me, I'm gonna share that example
of how I've seen a man change overnight
because a woman took some spiritual advice
and shifted her consciousness. She literally woke up the next day
and said, I didn't recognize my husband.
I'll share this.
Wow, so how you can shift your partner in a powerful way.
Don't try to change your partner,
but how do you shift to a destiny where your partner,
you're like, wait, that's not the same human I even married.
Interesting, but one of the things that you said here
that I think really resonated with me
that I think a lot of people,
if they can learn how to do this,
which I want to actually go into in the second episode,
is how do we build the belief
that we are deserving of the love we want?
Which I don't think we, we didn't talk about
how to shift the belief of how to believe differently
that we are deserving.
So I want to talk about that as well in this second part.
And understanding how you need to be the one,
not finding the one as well.
And how do we build that up?
We're gonna be talking about that
in episode two on relationships.
So again, make sure to like this, leave a comment below.
What are some of the questions that you have?
What's your biggest takeaway?
Share this with one friend.
And we're gonna learn more on the second episode.
So David, thank you so much for being here
and we'll have everything linked up as well
with the previous episode and what you're working on,
but I'm very excited for what people are gonna learn
in the second episode.
I hope you enjoyed today's episode
and it inspired you on your journey towards greatness.
Make sure to check out the show notes in the description
for a full rundown of today's episode
with all the important links.
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Share this with a friend on social media
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Let me know what you enjoyed about this episode
in that review.
I really love hearing feedback from you
and it helps us figure out how we can support
and serve you moving forward.
And I wanna remind you if no one has told you lately
that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter.
And now it's time to go out there and do something great.
["Dreams of a Better World"]