The School of Greatness - The #1 Thing Holding You Back From Success & Happiness w/ Wayne Brady EP 1425

Episode Date: April 19, 2023

https://lewishowes.com/mindset - Order a copy of my new book The Greatness Mindset today!Multiple Emmy Award-winning and Grammy Award-nominated Wayne Brady has made his mark on stage and screen as an actor, producer, singer, dancer, songwriter, and television personality.   A true multi-hyphenate, Brady’s career path and personal life journey have helped him see the world in a unique way. His aspirations have always gone beyond solely starring in various entertainment projects, and under his Makin’ It Up Productions banner, he’s set out to create new content across different platforms that showcase innovation and inclusivity in fun and powerful ways. In this episode you will learn,How to go all in on plan A and scrap your plan BThe confidence hacks of a successful TV show host and comedianWhen to pivot your career in the direction of happinessThe importance of living your life with intentionHow to find happiness even when you don’t have everything you wantFor more information go to www.lewishowes.com/1425Mel Robbins: The “Secret” Mindset Habit to Building Confidence and Overcoming Scarcity: https://link.chtbl.com/970-podDr. Joe Dispenza on Healing the Body and Transforming the Mind: https://link.chtbl.com/826-podMaster Your Mind and Defy the Odds with David Goggins: https://link.chtbl.com/715-pod

My friend, I am such a big believer that your mindset is everything. It can really dictate if your life has meaning, has value, and you feel fulfilled, or if you feel exhausted, drained, and like you're never going to be enough. Our brand new book, The Greatness Mindset, just hit the New York Times bestseller back to back weeks. And I'm so excited to hear from so many of you who've bought the book, who've read it and finished it already, and are getting incredible results from the lessons in the book. If you haven't got a copy yet, you'll learn how to build a plan for greatness through powerful

exercises and toolkits designed to propel your life forward. This is the book I wish I had when I was 20, struggling, trying to figure out life. 10 years ago, at 30, trying to figure out transitions in my life and the book I'm glad I have today for myself. Make sure to get a copy at lewishouse.com slash 2023 mindset to get your copy today. Again lewishouse.com slash 2023 mindset to get a copy today. Also, the book is on Audible now so you can get it on audiobook as well. And don't forget to follow the show so you never miss an episode. I'm trying to reach a point by the time I leave this earth that I can honestly say I'm living in transparency and also taking control

of my narrative, even in terms of my work. I know that for some people in this business, I've been placed in a box, and I fight that box all the time. Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, a former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week, we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin.

But I feel like I grew up watching you and being inspired by you every single week on TV. And every time I watched you deliver a message, it seemed like I was just in awe of your talent. I wouldn't call it natural talent because I know how much you had to develop it over your years, but you're so gifted, so talented in your creative endeavor and in your art that it is, I've just never seen anything like it. So first off, I want to acknowledge you for the incredible joy that you brought so many people around the world with your talent, with your art, with your creative expression. And, um, it's just amazing. So I really appreciate all you've done

for humanity with your gift, because I think there's a lot of people that develop talents, skills, gifts, and they use it for themselves to make more money or to become famous or be successful, but they're not using it also to be in service. And I really feel like you've done that. Well, first, thank you. And I will accept that. And the reason I use the wording, I will accept that very specifically because, you know, folks can compliment you anytime um and i know for me the kind of person i am it's cool to get compliments but it's still uncomfortable sometimes because you know when i started doing this as a kid all everyone wanted to do was just to act and the

purpose of acting is to become someone else or to hide behind the characters so most of the stuff that you do so when someone compliments you especially for doing things where you're just being the character of yourself and it's like oh okay cool cool cool but i'll but i'll accept it because i think i've i've come to a place in my life where i also understand what you were saying about using your gift or whatever you have to, to bring life and life and light to other people. And I was just talking, I was giving a speech speech the other day saying this, this exact same thing. I, I now understand that. I never understood that because for many years, it was about that because at the end of the day, no matter how inspiring someone sets off to be, you're like, oh, I want to be the Mahatma Gandhi

of the entertainment business. At the end of the day, it is a business, right? We all, you have your talent, you cultivate it with the hope of the wares that I have and the product that I have can bring me a life and can pay my bills and take care of my family and blah, blah, blah. Yeah. That's what most people acting

or in the entertainment business, because it's such a hard and subjective business, that's what you're doing. Yeah. You just want to get to where you get so I can make a living. So the hustle blinds you. And if you're lucky enough to ascend to where you get so I can make a living. So the hustle blinds you. And if you're lucky enough to ascend to no matter what place,

the hustle is still there. I mean, I dare say even Tom Cruise is still hustling. It's just on a mega level or whomever you think is at the top of that food chain is still doing their thing. But at a certain point, you have to go, oh yeah, you know, this thing that I consider a job, it's making people happy. And I've just reached that point in the past, I won't even lie, maybe the past five to seven years that I made that delineation. Really? So when you were starting out, and I watched a lot of you on Whose Line Is It Anyways, but I think a lot of people have seen you there mostly. But when you were starting out,

specifically that show, were you thinking, I'm also bringing joy to people, even though this is a fun improv comedy show? Or are you just thinking, I'm trying to make a living, I'm bringing joy to people, even though this is a fun, you know, improv comedy show. Or are you just thinking, I'm trying to make a living. I'm trying to make it. I'm trying to stay here. Well, it's no, no, I wasn't thinking about bringing joy, joy to people because I don't think that most people do. The business is not, the business is not built for that.

If you decide that that's what you're doing, then that's an individual decision. That's great. But it is, hey, this is your job and you're doing your job. And I think especially when I started on Whose Line when I was 25 or 26, I was happy to be on the show. So I'm happy that I'm on this show. And yes, I know objectively that people are laughing at the show because that's what it's supposed to do. So if the thing is doing what it's supposed to do, and then I'm being rewarded for that, that's great. I don't think you can truly appreciate those things until maybe you are a little older and a little more advanced in in your life and career because we are also separated from the people at home so unless you're like me a stage performer as well where maybe you're a stand-up maybe you're a singer who tours maybe you're doing broadway maybe you do that's that's i, is the closest that you get to that, oh, that's right, these people, okay,

it's amazing that I get to do this and those people are standing and they're smiling and they're happy. That's when you get to that piece of it. But if you're on a TV show, then you don't think about the audience at home as long as they're enjoying it and the show continues to go.

And you're getting a paycheck every week. And you're getting the paycheck. So it's not to make it sound mercenary, but it is a job. But like at the end of it, it is show business. It's a job. And you're hoping that your job is making people happy, but that you're hoping that your job is doing the thing. I think social media, it was the catalyst for people to start changing the way, because the rules of engagement changed. Because in the early 90s and 2000s and those, so social media wasn't big. So you operated in a vacuum. You only had Nielsen. You had ratings. You had ratings. Oh, good. So my show's working. Awesome.

And then I get to go on tour and whatnot. Awesome. Now, though, and the reason that I say that in the past few years, I've embraced the fact that I know that I can bring joy is because you engage with people online. And you see their comments. And you see their comments. Right. And I think it really hit me at the beginning of the lockdown during, during that phase of the pandemic, uh, because let's make a deal was one of the only shows to continue to go straight through. And, and, uh, and I knew at that point when everything was frozen, the fact that we could, even if we just, we, we did a little online version of let's make a deal. When I was sitting at home with my buddy, Jonathan, and we were just

having folks get, get on live with us and we were giving away money or t-shirts or, you know, just small things. Folks were like, Hey, thank you. Jobs have stopped right now because we're scared. And, and so the fact that you gave us a hundred bucks, 500 bucks, so you give us a t-shirt or you acknowledged me, oh, that made me feel so good right now. Thank you for that. And that's when I began to really listen

and to engage and go, oh my gosh, this show is affecting people on that level. And it can take me out of my own head of, of the, of, of this is a job. Yeah. I'm curious. I mean, you've been very successful at converting your talent and gift into a, a career that has been known a career that has been, you know, 30 years in the making essentially. Uh, and that has brought you a living and then some over the last 30 years. I'm sure there's been ups and downs and shows canceling and going through,

but your talent and gift has brought you quote unquote success. I'm curious, how did you learn how to turn success and happiness and bring them together? How did you learn to be successful and be happy at the same time? Who said that I learned that?

Who? I don't know about some of your other guests, but I certainly will not bulls**t you right now and say I sit at the intersection of those two. I think that's a work in progress. Absolutely. That is an absolute work in progress because the two do not equal each other. And the two, I think it takes an absolute effort to make your occupation meet success. Because the problem is, and not just with show business, but I think with any job where you find success, your bar for success gets bumped up. And the more that it gets bumped up, the more your expectations rise and the things that you were happier with before no longer interesting meet that bill really so now you're chasing wow so i distinctly remember

at at one point because before whose line when i was 26 i'd already been a working actress since 16 just just just touring or I'd been on sitcoms guest stars I'd done done a bunch of one one hour shows as guests I'd already done a ton of theater singing backup for folks and doing stuff so so so I'd worked for 10 years so so that was an overnight thing you know 10 10 years in the, but I was always lucky to be working in show business. But I remember specifically at one point before I got whose line, just praying and you should never do this. I feel, but you know, we're all guilty of it to whatever day, day to your force you pray to. But I remember saying, God, man, it would be so just, just help me out enough. I just need a gig that will get me enough to, to get a new car because my car had been repossessed. Uh, my, my, my Corolla DX, um, had been repossessed and my girlfriend Mandy at the time, um, who, who's now my business partner. Um, we, we were leaving our apartment in North hall in North Hollywood. And I think that

I was like, I forget the number. I think the number was maybe like $8,000 or like five to $8,000 in debt in, in the sense of cards or, you know, whatever the thing was, it seemed like an absolutely insurmountable number because I'd never been in debt. But to have that as like, God, have you just, how do I, and, and I got this gig, it dropped into my lap and I remember, okay, well now that I've got this and it was a job to go to Tokyo as a lounge singer to work in these clubs, they were paying me a thousand dollars in cash, which for some people listening, maybe a thousand dollars doesn't sound like a lot, but it was a thousand dollars a week in 97 or something cash in tokyo so no taxes so i have expenses and everything paid for you and i was living in a place there and i was making tips so my aim was i was going to come back to the states i was like i'm coming back to the states with like twenty thousand dollars that's what I'm going to do.

I'm going to stay there long enough to make this, and that'll take care of everything. And once that's taken care of, I'm going to be so happy. I'll be so happy I'll be able to get a cheap car, and I want to buy a Nintendo. I want to buy a Nintendo. I want to get a car, and I can have six months down on a brand new apartment. That's all I want. God, can we make that happen? He did. That happened. Did it make you happy? No happier than like the not happy, just relieved. I've got some breathing room. And then just a little while later, a confluence of events happened that were really cool.

I was cast in The Lion King as one of the original Simbas. Wow. And I didn't end up doing it because Whose Line Is It Anyway came around. So all these opportunities manifested. And then, you know, the other stuff happens. But then, oh, great. Now I can buy a new car because I just got this TV show so I can buy a cheap new car.

And now I can buy a small house. Great. And now I've been on TV X amount of time. And now I've created this other show. I created the Wayne Brady show, my sketch show. So now I can, oh, so now I can move to a better house. And da-da-da, now we're happy? No, I'll be happier. Now I've gotten a a better house. Now we're happy. Now I'll be happier.

Now I've gotten a taste of that. Now you're comparing to other people. Yeah. So now I'll be happy when, oh, when I can do what that dude's doing and I'll just buy a bigger house and maybe I can get another car and I can do this other thing. And fast forward to, I wake up and I'm 50 and I've been on TV for X amount of years and whatever and had these shows. and I'm 50 and I've been on TV for X amount of years and whatever and had these shows, I'm happy because I have a wonderful family and I love my daughter and I love my ex-wife who's my business partner and I've got many blessings.

But I cannot look you in your face and say if I'm truly happy, happy, because I've never given myself truly the room to breathe to find out what is my level of happy. Wow. I've been chasing things all these years. And that's where I am now right now in my process. I'm working on not chasing.

Wow. And really discovering what's my bar for happy. Because happy is a very broad and subjective thing. I think it's more, what can you do without and still be okay? Wow. I really appreciate your honesty here. Because I was actually having a conversation with someone yesterday about this. I just moved into a new home in Studio City.

Kind of a dream home for me, really. But I've been living in two-bedroom apartments for the last 15 years kind of living in a safer environment you know less expenses non-committal to owning something all these things we're having flexibility you know and um i really love the space that i've created with my girlfriend but i'm also like if i had to go back to a two- apartment, I'd still be pretty happy with my life. I don't think I'd be less happy. It doesn't mean I don't want more and in the environment that I want, but I'd still be happy. And I think I'd be happy because I've

really in the last few years done a lot of healing work to have more inner peace about who I am in my past. So that's where I feel like for me, why that would be the case. Cause I used to chase, chase, chase as well. And it's not that I'm not chasing and developing, but I'm, I feel like I'm allowing things to come and man and drawing things to me more is the intention. I'm not saying I'm perfect at it, but that's what I'm working on creating. I'm curious for people watching and listening. What do you wish you would have known about fame and success and money in the show business world before you ever got into it? If you could go back and speak to the 16 year old or 25 year old before you kind of started popping even more, what do you wish you would have known after all these years of experience

about fame, success, and money? I think I would have known about, you used the word intention. I think that's what I would have been more aware of. Not necessarily the money piece or, or because at least in my mind, my journey, and you also mentioned healing and the chasing. I think that's it. It's a buzzword

now you know that folks talk about trauma and for but i think it's a good buzzword because it's true we we operate from a place of trauma and you know that thing that's wounds wounds that some people like to you know make fun of of oh oh what oh so what are you doing you're gonna heal your inner child you're gonna yeah you know and go back and parent that kid in a way that maybe you haven't or should so so yeah so so many of the things that we do so i so my trauma and the wounds that i know that i'm still working on healing hence why i can't say that i'm happy or not is because that young Wayne never felt worthy enough. I think always felt less than for a number of reasons. And so that little Wayne used, promised himself that when he got to a place that he could use his talent or his gift or whatever

that thing was and once that hustle started he wasn't going to look back and he was going to show everybody and everything exactly how good he was based on that and so while that sounds cool and inspirational for you know a hallmark movie scrappy kid pulls himself up by by by the bootstraps immediately what ends up happening is you're operating from a place of you are chasing and if that's a if that was my baseline that's my baseline that's where started. I already started hungry and chasing and thinking that the more I get or the better I do, all of these things are going to make me feel better. And then you'll see. And then you'll see. I wasn't operating with intention. I just wanted

to work. I said from the age of 16, I was lucky enough to start doing plays and got my equity card. I said, I just want to work. So because I just wanted to be able to take care of myself, I want enough money to be able to take care of myself, I want to have. Because I didn't have, so I want to have. So if you're operating from a place, I want to have.

I want this now. I was not intentional with my show business journey. You're just kind of saying yes to whatever. Yes to everything. Yes. Which, which started at that point saying yes. But then as my career and as life goes on, you're still in the thing I've spent a lot of years saying yes and doing, which is why I've done it. I've been very blessed to do a lot of varied things all over the scope. But if I could go back and say, hey, hey, hey, but you know what would be cool? Instead of doing maybe 30 things over the course of this time and whatnot, what if you

were to do 14 of them? Right, half of these things. And have, would have just been, oh, bangers, bangers, each of them, things that you really, really loved and really wanted to do. Maybe you would not have made as much money without doing the other half of them, the 15 to 30 other things. But A, you might have been a lot happier and they would have been for your soul. But then in success, if those things would have worked out, then exponentially it would have outgrossed the gain for these things. So that's what I look at now and go, damn,

huh. So I try to teach those lessons to my daughter who's now in the business. And, and so I mentor other actors and, and young, young producers and, and say, Hey, this is the road that I walked down. I want you to, you, you, you, you'd be really specific about what you want to do, because you can have that prayer answered. Oh, I just want to work. I just want to do. I just want to just... Sure. That can absolutely happen. But will it be exactly what you want? Will it be enough to feel love, to feel joyful, peaceful, happy? Absolutely.

There's a great quote that Jim Carrey talked about. I'm going to butcher it here, but it's something like, I wish everyone would become rich and famous and realize it's not the key to happiness. Something like that. I wish everyone would experience it so they could realize that's not everything. There's a lot of benefits to being rich and famous, but it's not going to make you feel happy. Absolutely. The, the two do not have to go together. And, and yes, it sounds, I can understand how to someone who may not have something that they want, or they go, well,

that's easy for you to say, but I know that I don't have X to go to the grocery store and get that. And I understand that because I've been there. I completely get that. But specifically, you have to listen specifically to what that thing is. It's, yes, you can have that thing. You could win the lottery tomorrow. How many times have we read about the person that is the Powerball winner and then they go bankrupt a couple years later they commit suicide 783 million dollars even the lump sum you get it paid out you get half of that for the rest of your life your life is set isn't it but they but they end up losing their friends their family maybe they lose their lives maybe maybe they go back. That does not guarantee happiness.

It's the thing that you do with it. It's what you do with it. My grandmother, who raised me, did not have a lot. And we did not have a lot, but I know that that old lady was happy. I know she was happy. Do you think she was happy... I know she was happy. Do you think she was happy?

Do you think she was unhappy with her kids or her daughter, right? Was your mom, was her daughter? No, no, my father. Her father. Yeah. Was she unhappy with, you know, your parents who were not showing up for you? Oh, no. She wasn't mad about that.

She was happy to take the responsibility. No, because the way that that happened, you know, for anybody watching what we're talking about, is I was raised by my grandmother, but my situation was a little different. I was raised by my grandmother mostly, but my father was there. He was in orbit, but because he was in the military and he always moved around

they they made a very specific choice which i think was you know it was a pretty mature choice for a kid his age when they made it he's like look i i don't want him traveling from post to post with with me and because of his job specifically, he was a combat engineer. And so, you know, guys that go in, they build the bridges and they also fight and defend it. So he was doing his thing all around the world

and here in the States. I get it now. And knowing the kind of dude that he was, he, it was a lot to be able to pick me up, take, take him with me and do. So I think he wanted stability. He, he wanted the childhood that he was given. And I think he also thought, well, I don't think that I can give that to him. So mom, please raise him like you raised me because I love how I was raised. Right. So raised. So she was happy about it.

So she was happy about that. And your, your mother, um, where was she in the picture? She was still in Georgia. What they, they,

they divorced. Um, and what a wonderful lady. And I have an amazing relationship with her, um, right now. And, and,

uh, we've definitely become closer in the past few years. She wasn't around much when you were growing up, right? No, no, no, because that decision was taken out of her hands, which... I don't wish I had a time machine because I grew into who I grew into,

and I don't know if I'd want to mess with that much. I think that... But I wish that it would have worked out a little differently for her in terms of having a relationship with her son, especially her firstborn, because the narrative that I always received with that side of the family was that, you know,

that this was for the best. And my side of the family was that, you know, that this was for the best. And my side of the family from Columbus, Georgia, they had a very specific arc in terms of, you know, a couple people got arrested and they had their whole thing. So I was always told, well, it's a good thing that you live here because that that's the projects and and you would be there and right right so i well i never hated her but i was just like oh it's it's good that i'm here now as a father i feel for her because she didn't get a chance to raise raise her firstborn and her and and her and her young man. Uh, but we, we are definitely

trying to make up for lost time. That's my chick. What was the biggest lesson your, your grandmother that she taught you growing up that you still think about to this day that really helped carry you through your life? I think my work ethic. Um, I definitely think my work ethic, that's the thing that has gotten me through days when I didn't think I could get up. I think one of the, the biggest lessons she's, she's, she taught me, and I've talked about this, this before is even in the depths of, of, and for anybody who has been through depression or is going through depression, um, uh, and...

one of the hardest things is to show up. Right? So... You're exhausted, you're drained, you don't feel good about yourself, you're self-loathing, you're... Dude. You just wanna lay around and do nothing. You just wanna lay around and I'll even go a step further

and say that from my own personal journey, and, and I'll even go a step further to say that for my own personal journey with, with, with depression, it's not even laying around and doing nothing. I've talked to my therapist and the, and, and, you know, the, the, the, the way that I, the way that I visualize things, things, it's always, I think in a very, I'm a very big sci-fi nerd and, and, uh, it's, it's, it's, I picture my, my battery that if I am this, if, if I'm this superhero and I go out in the world and I show up and in my suit of armor and I'm able to do, do everything I can, it's like someone has just gone around back and removed that battery. And no matter what I do, sitting there like, I got it. I got to get up. I got to get out.

But I can't. I can't function because my battery, my arms are too heavy. My body is too heavy. My heart is too heavy. My legs won't work the right way. So the easiest thing to do is just to, okay, it's just a shutdown. No matter what I want to do, I just shut down. So to combat that, because I've got to show up. I've got to show up for people. I have to show up for my daughter. I have to show up for my job because my job is how I take care of the machinery

that is set up around me. So I make my bed. That's one of the things that that old lady, my grandmother, and if anyone watching, if you are raised either an island if you're of island descent or if you're in a child of an immigrant and you're a first generation here you you know the thing of get up make your bed and go. And just go. Because once that bed is made, now you have stuff to do.

You don't have the luxury of stopping. Now, to a degree on the surface, I will say that's a little, it's a little toxic because of the whole, because that generation, what's depression? You know what I'm saying? Yeah.

Just mask it. If my grandma were still alive and we talked about it, and I think if I tried to explain to her, no, no, no, mommy, you know, like when you feel really bad, I feel bad all the time. I still work. I still get up. I go, you know, so that generation is like, no, we don't have the luxury of I feel sad. I feel bad. I can't get up. I go, you know, so, so that generation is like, no, we don't have the luxury of, I feel sad. I feel bad. I can't wake up. I can't go. So just do it. And you don't talk about your stuff. That's the toxic component of that. So I hear that. But the good piece of it is if I make my bed,

I have no option now because I've made my bed. It is, you could bounce a quarter off of it. I can't get back in that bed. You're not going back in. I'm not getting back in the bed. So now go. And that is how, even through some of the roughest patches, that has gotten me through. Even this past year, I lost my grandmother

and I've been very, you know, I've talked about a little bit. I did Dancing with the Stars last year and I dedicated it to her. And this is the anniversary of her. This month, actually, she's been gone a year. This is one of the darkest years I've had because I always lived in fear of losing that old lady. And a lot of what I did in terms of success, once I got to a certain point, I was like, look, ma and a lot of what i did in terms of success once i got to a certain point i was like look ma look look what i did look this is my show i'm gonna fly to see my show look mom this is the show that i'm in on tour i'm gonna fly you out look mom i'm in vegas come play play all the slots you wanted to come and see the show look mom i'll do a soap opera

so you can come and say it here for so many of the things that i've done i did so she could be happy and then when that person's gone it's like oh now what now now what and that little battery plucked right out my back really so i've spent this past year really trying to dig myself out of that. Wow. What has been the biggest, I guess, realization you've created in this last year? It sounds like you've been doing emotional coaching and therapy and supporting yourself in that. What is the thing you've learned since her passing in this last year that has supported you in facing the depression or the different things that you were chasing and running from to now face and heal and mend. What are those lessons you learned?

Two, one of the lessons is definitely how to start to try to forgive myself, which is very hard especially if you think that you've you've done things wrong because there are no time machines so the most that you could do is is is either sit and dwell on it and go i'm such a hole and i've blown all this stuff and i'm wrong i'm wrong, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and live in that or decide to go, I did, or that really wasn't your fault, man. Like you, you, you just took blame for something that, because it's also easy. Some, especially where, where depression lays, it's very easy to, well, I've already got 10 pounds of stuff on my back. Yeah.

I'll just take more. Because now it's an excuse. Now I can just wrap up in it. And now I have a reason. Life repressed. Yeah, now I have a good reason. So learning to... We got this pressure and this thing and this weight

and all this responsibility. Yeah, bring it. Wow. So to forgive yourself. What have you had to forgive the most about yourself? I think one of the things that I definitely felt was, I wish I would have been there more for my daughter in her formative years because I was chasing.

Mm. I wasn't there for her on her first day of kindergarten because I had just released a record and I was performing at the R&B museum in Philadelphia. It was a big deal and I'm singing and doing this stuff. But my daughter screaming because dad wasn't there. And I'm telling this small kid no no no it's okay but daddy it's all right but daddy's doing this dad daddy has to and stuff like that i have incidents i have all these incidents all throughout her childhood that that are little slivers that i can replay all over and over in my head. And now she's 20.

So I think I always feel a lot of guilt about those things. And I've always tried my best to be there for her otherwise. That is my heart, my pride and joy. She is amazing. And I'm proud of the person that she's grown into but i see where you can't not be affected by certain things in your childhood and like with her i see that she craves stability she craves stability in her choices and she has intention. And I see that, that, you know, that's the positive and the negative. The positive is she has intention and she's doing that. But I see where, where, and she's even said, you know, this is the kind of place I want to live

and this is the life I want to live. And these are the things I want to do because, oof, you and mom. Wow. You guys were always going and going and going. There was no stability or, you know, that feeling. And so we had stability, but of a different kind. Like she wants like the white picket fence stability. Right. She's like, I want this. Someone there at a certain time every day.

And that's what she's looking for in a partner. That's what she's looking. So it's interesting to see the effects of your your conditioning and your parenting on another human being now now that she's becoming an adult and uh so things like that it sounds like you've got a pretty good relationship with her now and you've been communicating these things with her as well in this process yeah we we have a great relationship man i we butt heads we butt heads a lot because she is my my mini me and we will all the time but with love yeah we bump heads we're mad then we turn back go back around we hug and we kiss and, and, um, and I'm really fortunate that she, she is the

person that she is. What's the thing you love about her the most and the lessons she's taught you about being a better man? The thing I love about her the most now that I see her, because I did a very, I'm, I'm going to say toxic and unhealthy because I can't think of a better word for it. But I realized a while ago, a couple of years ago, and she had to tell me, at first I thought she was joking. But whenever I see a baby picture of her or pictures from when she was little, she's always climbing on top of him like, look, see, we always were like this. And why aren't you affectionate now? And you're always, see, that's how I love the edges. Like, Dad, you know that I'm a grown person now

and you love that version of me so, so much. You know, I'm here. I said, I know, but I loved when little Miley would... And that was weird that I wanted so badly to have the little person who needed me would climb on top of me and make me feel good. And so I needed her to check me on that. So I think the thing that I love most about the woman that she is becoming is I love that she is taking the lessons that she's seeing from her parents. I love that she has a voice.

Because I was not raised in a household where I think like a lot of kids of my generation, I'm going to go on a limb, especially, I think, uh, a black household where, you know, you weren't allowed to talk back to your parents. They were, you know, like there, there are memes and we make fun, fun of like,

you know, when you go to little Timmy's house, screw you mom, like folks make fun of that. But really there was none of that in the household. You're getting slapped, you're getting spanked, you're getting beyond it being a military,

be beyond the fact that my dad of that in the household. You're getting slapped, you're getting spanked, you're getting... Beyond it being a military, beyond the fact that my dad was always in the picture, and I could tell you stories that my dad was... If my household was a country, dad was the defense system that was always on alert, and the president, the ruler of my country who ruled with a iron fist wayne if you step out of line i'm bringing in the dad wow and there were a couple times when the dad let's just put it put it this way when your dad flies from from stuttgart germany because of something that you did in school and you walk home that day off the bus and you see a car in the driveway that you know should not be in that driveway.

And your heart sinks because the last conversation you had with that man was, listen, Junior, if you put my mother through changes, I'm going to put you through that wall. Wow. Yeah, well, you're not here. She's always on my back. And you know that. Okay. Oh, man. I'll see you later. See me later. He's in

Germany. I'm smart. I know how far Germany is. And the army's just not going to let you come. So that being said, there was rarely any talking back in my house. And so even when I felt that I wanted to express myself, because as much as my grandmother and I, and my grandfather was in the picture to a certain point, he passed when I was 10. Love that guy. It was not the household. My grandmother was right. So whatever it was, it was right. was right so if i know that is not fair

that is not not to sound artsy-fartsy but there are times when i've had to as a character what does it feel like to be shut down i've had to go back and i'm like oh i i know exactly what that means to, to, to have to hear something. And, and my mouth is so closed that my jaw's hurting and it goes up into my, and I feel it and I'm just, I can't say anything. And then it's like, do you have something to say? No, ma'am. Inside you're like, yes, but he's like, yep, no, ma'am, I don't. And just, so I never wanted that for her. So the fact that I have this beautiful, intelligent daughter who can speak and she has her voice, she's like, dad,

I disagree with you. Mom, I disagree with you on that. Not not disrespectfully but the fact that she has that i love that in in her and for a while i think there were times when i i reverted to the old school to i reverted to what i knew it's like don't say that to me that is disrespectful how dare you that is disrespectful and her mom did it too because we're both children of that gen generation until, thank God for therapy. We had to go, she wasn't being disrespectful, man. She was just, she's just speaking and speaking her piece. And that's what I love about my daughter.

I love who she is. That's beautiful. And I love what she will and will not accept. Right. I love that. That's beautiful. I'm so glad you guys and will not accept. Right. I love that. That's beautiful. I'm so glad you guys are, you know, deepening that relationship now. Oh, that's my girl. Yeah, that's cool. You talked about in the beginning about chasing, you know, as when you were 16 and moving out here to LA in your early twenties, you were chasing after any gig you could

get and money to come in and opportunities. I also know that you, I talked about, you know, you had a stutter and you were bullied, picked on as a kid. I had a similar situation for my childhood. Do you feel like you were more chasing success to prove people wrong? Or were you running from something because it was too painful? Hmm, that's a great question. I think in equal measures right I I

think it's in equal parts because the both both of those things have to exist so and and all of our childhood journeys and the things that we remember, only recently because I'm writing this one-man show. So it's made me try to remember things. And as we know, our memories are the most unreliable narrators, right? We blow it out of proportion. We remember. Change things that didn't happen right it's the most unreliable so even now it's forced me to really try to rethink a lot of things that i've taken as as my as canon in my own uh superhero origin story is like well that's

exactly how it happened because that's how i got here so it's made me go back and re-examine things so yes i was definitely bullied yes i definitely dealt with that i think by internalizing things and there was a time when i did have a what i think of as a as a close to debilitating stutter. Really? How old were you then? Oh gosh. I was in early elementary school because a few things happen, right? So my grandmother was from the Virgin islands and, and my grandfather. So the U S Virgin island, St. Thomas and St. Croix. And, um, so the neighborhood that I was raised in, um, it was predominantly black, um, middle to lower income housing. Um, and so from the get go, I never quite fit in with the

kids around me because of, because of how I was raised in the house and because of the, my grandparents accents. And I had a very thick thick accent to... up to a certain point. And then I was... A big part of my early story is... deals with how do you... learn to become a man, even when you're a boy, because, you know, it starts when you're a boy, so how you know, it starts when you're a boy.

So how, so what are those lessons that you're learning? And what are those toxic lessons? And what are the lessons that you're learning culturally? So, so I'm, so I'm this black kid in this black neighborhood being raised by these parents that even though they're black, they are not like the other people in this neighborhood. So I'm learning a whole different cultural lesson and, and vocabulary and everything. So I'm already different. So I'm already different. So that's

one layer. Kids, kids smell something different. They don't like a different, I'm already a bit of a, you know, back, back then a nerd was, was, was a dirty word. Now, now finally it's grown into folks like, oh, I'm a nerd too. Cause I cosplay. Great. But so I enjoy certain things that are not what the other kids enjoy. Then in kindergarten, and I don't know how I would never do this to my kid now I'm glad I was tested and so I go I'm it's advised that I go from kindergarten to second grade so he's smart skip him in order to make that happen that I'm bused from my neighborhood to an all-white school that's more affluent and they have these this pro program so i'm splitting time

between there i'm dealing with identity issues there was a lot that i was working with that i didn't know how to handle and i couldn't talk to my grandmother or i didn't know how to even at that young age i didn't know how to talk to them about the things that I was feeling. So in second grade, I'm already dealing with issues of race and belonging that I was not equipped on top of regular bullying. Kids are assholes. Across, we are little jerks, but I was dealing with something. And only recently have I seen that. I was dealing with a big issue. How do you deal with an issue of race and identity, and then on top of the regular hazing that we do to each other?

So I didn't know how to deal. So my defense mechanism, which starts the beginning of that, am I running from something, is now I either fight back or I run from it. I feel bad. Can't talk to grandma, which became my whole life. I love my grandmother more than anything. It was one of my best friends.

And we talked about stuff, but I tell you, there are a lot of unresolved conversations that we never had. We never had in my life. I've kept a lot of stuff that... So we never had these talks, no one to talk to. So I kept my own counsel. So that was the way that now, I'm very used to keeping my own counsel. I don't talk to people about things.

And I'm very quiet, very serious and very withdrawn because that's my way of not dealing with these people that, that now I get, get into it with them. So then that's the kid that goes, I'm going to get out of here. The first chance I get out of here, the first chance I'm getting out. Wow. And I'm going to use whatever is at my disposal to get out. Because now I understand, and especially going to the schools that I started to go to, now I understand what it's like to be, you don't know that you're poor until somebody else points it out. Makes fun of you and laughs at you and picks on you. Making fun and there are a whole bunch of things.

But so now I see that. So now I'm like, okay, I see what it's like. Those people must be happy because I've been to their homes and I walk in and they make me feel special because they let me in. And oh my God, their houses are so big and their clothes are nice. And they let me in here because some of them feel i talk a certain way or that uh and they so they've now attributed this thing to me of like oh you you're you're you're you're a good one especially being from the south so when you're from from the south

you'll know what i'm talking about so so you're a good one So now the race issue comes back. How do you deal with your identity? I'm getting a little older, dealing with issues of race and culture. And I internalize all of it. So yes, I run away because I'm like, as soon as I get the chance to get the hell out. And I'm going to show all of you and I'm going to show all of you. I'm going to show all of you how much better I am. The fact that you kids in my neighborhood said that I wasn't this and I wasn't that and I wasn't good enough.

And then the other kids in the other school, you made me feel small because of everything that you had. And you made me feel this way. I'm going to show everybody. Wow. And that is a very unhealthy place to start from because there wasn't love and acceptance of self wow there was no self love i didn't want to start acting because i loved myself and i loved when i found a talent and i was like i love this thing and i'm and i'm going to hoard this thing and keep it to myself. And no one knows that I wanted to do it until I was 16.

No one knew. So I was in my bedroom percolating, doing voices, writing scripts, learning to sing and copying people on TV. So when I actually came out and did it, the kids in the group was like, what the hell? Wayne's on stage? He says, yeah. It was like, yes, this is what I do. Ha. See? Gotcha.

That's me. I'm out. And it was also to show my grandmother. It was to show my family because none of them got it. So when you start from a place of your whole thing is based on, look at me. I'll show you. That is not the healthiest spot. And now you can't make me feel bad. Now you can't

shut me down. Now I'm going to have a voice. So I'm mad at my grandmother. I'm mad at the kids in my neighborhood that made me stutter because I was too afraid to speak. That's not going to happen again. In fact, I'm going to be able to speak better than all of you. In fact, words are going to become my thing. Wow. But I didn't know that I was working with all that. Because once I started, I was just running. So it wasn't until I started therapy at the age of 40 that I realized that I'd been running my entire time. Running without intention. Going back to the thing, I was just running.

Let's go. Run. Let's go. I will not look back. Let's go. That's what I do. Do you think we, do you think human beings can be truly happy and have inner peace inside of them?

If they are constantly running and they never take a look at, uh, take a second to look back and address and create harmony and new meaning around the memories that causes pain and forgiveness of ourselves and others do you think we can find happiness and peace without some point turning around and creating amends with our younger selves of course we can't no i think if you live in a state of even with all the fame and all the success and everyone telling you you're amazing and you've got this gift and talent not even it's it's it's it's is it in spite of because if you live in a state of flight or or fight when do you you're constantly running from something when do you, you're constantly running from something. When do you stop? And then when you do stop, because you, because, you know, at a certain point when, and I don't

care if this is the, the biggest Instagram, uh, influencer or somebody who has 20,000 followers. As soon as one person says, hey man, I know you, I like that hit of dopamine that you get. In the early stages, oh, that feels amazing. So you start chasing that drug. That feeling. That feeling because that makes you feel better. And that paycheck that lets you buy whatever the thing is that you oh now i'm happy because i feel better but like any drug i assume because i'm not a you know i'm not a a a goody goody but because of that old lady slapped me in my head i've never used drugs but but i've

drank so i can only imagine like any drug or liquor or anything that you take that this feels so good right now. The law of diminishing returns. It can't feel great after a certain point. It's just, it's just cool. It's like whatever. So then you're running and running and running and running and running and running. And like I talked about that battery, it wasn't until later on that I realized what that was. That truly is the physiological effects of that. When your adrenaline that you have to create adrenaline, you know, you're, you're, you're thyroid and you, as you get older, you burn those things burn out. Yes. And I just did a, uh, did, did a panel, you know, your, your blood work and everything. of course your testosterone lowers and everything happens. But when I saw what my numbers were in terms of, of my adrenal gland, in terms of my testosterone, in terms of things that you take for granted because you're going, you're going all your life and you're fighting, you're fighting, you're fighting this. I'm going to fight that person. I'm going to fight online. I'm going to

fight this job. I'm going to fight this thing. I'm going to forget. That's, that's the battery. Nature, nature took that battery and said, Hey, look, man, you've been doing this for too long and too much. Let's just gloop and force you to sit down, force you to sit down. That's real. That is absolutely real. How did you keep the mindset? Cause I know that that has happened over the last 25 years at different stages of your life in show business. But whenever I have watched you on TV, you look like you have all the energy in the world, all the creativity, the spontaneity, the genius in you comes out in those moments. But I'm assuming, I don't want to assume that much, but based on what I'm hearing you say, there's probably days where you're like, I don't want to go to this show right now.

There's so many days like that. How do you keep your mindset in a place of I'm here to deliver and perform a great performance that you can do while your battery is drained? How did you learn to do that? I think a piece of me just says that it's as simple as I'm an old school showman and a performer. And, you know, that adage, the show must go on, which is also one of the most toxic, self-toxic sayings. Yeah, the show must go on. I've learned to perform through family tragedies, through migraines, through ripped ACLs, you know. But anyone, I think, that functions at a certain level,

an athlete, you know, especially athletes. You play with injuries. You play with injuries, and then you go home and you'll collapse later. You know, an athlete, a dancer, an actor, the CEO of a company. Yeah gotta show up make money you show up and you're given a presentation nobody's sitting there's like oh um you know what let's go ahead and write a check anyway even though i know that he's he's sad right now or or he has a migraine. No, it's okay. Don't give the speech.

Don't make the stockholders happy. We're good. That's not going to happen. You got to show up. But how did you develop that mindset for so long? It's been decades for you showing up and performing. How do you keep your mind strong when your emotions or your heart feels weak? I developed that as a kid

i think that that was one of the first things that i developed being on state is like this is this is my i developed that because if you derive all of your identity and everything that is good, you think in your life from the thing you do, if you don't do that thing well, or it goes down at some point, then what does that say about you? Oh, interesting. So I developed very early on. I might suck at relationships, which I do. I might suck at this and I can't cook that thing. I'll burn this.

But I tell you what, I will get on that stage and I will kill that. So don't even. And if you don't kill it, what does that say about you? Right. Then I have slash and or am nothing wow so i have no choice so whatever i'm feeling i am going to drag myself on that stage and do it but that also only works for x amount of time and now you know like i was saying being in being in fright or flight i understand that more so because no matter how much sometimes i go all right i'm gonna get rid of that if you're not

in total agreement and accordance with your mind and your spirit and your body it becomes harder to do and i only assume because I haven't gotten there yet, and I don't plan on it because I'm doing the work, I only assume there does come a time when the machine will not go, no matter what you say. You can't outthink it. You can't outthink it. Right, like it's got to have some,

it's got to just break down. It has to. So that's my thing. I'm not going to let that happen. So that's my, so I think that to any performer watching, that's why I feel that your intention has got to be set because you've got to think of this in the long term. You have to think of it as not a sprint.

You have to think of your career as a marathon. I'm going to lay the seeds. I'm going to do this. I'm going to do that. I'm going to take care of myself each step of the way. Did you think you were a bad kid? No. Do you think you're a good kid?

I absolutely, I know I was a good kid. I absolutely beyond a shadow of a doubt. But also what, what, what do you think of as a good kid? Did you believe you were a good person, like a good human? Even when other people were bullying you or picking on you and saying you can't do something? Oh, absolutely. Because none of that ever, because that's why I asked you, it depends on what your connotation of good or bad kid is.

Like when I think someone, they say that you're a bad kid, you're either bad, bad to your parents, which is a construct, which in therapy, you know, that, that comes back to you. He's like, well, I was bad. I shouldn't have done that thing. I was bad. I fell off the wagon. I was bad. But as a kid, I know that I listened to my mother.

I know that I was a good student. I tried to do my thing. I know I didn't intentionally hurt anybody. So my value in terms of that was cool. But in terms of your identity, my identity wasn't even good or bad. It was like, I wish I would have been accepted. And that's why I even said, you know, that unreliable narrator. Now, if I could go back, I know there were times when I think it's a cycle. You feel unaccepted because this guy, like just off the top of my head,

feel uh unaccepted because this guy like just off the top of my head and this is stuff that i'm gonna watch this podcast later and go back and write down the stuff i said so i could put it in the book in the script yeah is that i remember a guy named alan i don't even know what grade i was in maybe third maybe fourth fifth grade i remember Alan and I being in the bathroom and him saying something to me to the effect of, I don't remember the exact words, but especially as a kid and especially where I was from,

you know, one of the worst insults that you could call somebody is to call them gay or to use the F word. You're going to talk trash. So yeah, really clever. So I remember being in the bathroom doing some, something with Alan and him going,

stop looking at my, my, my, you, you must be a insert F, F word. You get it? Like it came out of nowhere. I was like, I don't't why would you i don't know i i was so sheltered that i didn't even know what he was talking about at first i was like i don't you asked about it later right until i asked somebody i don't even know what you're talking about yeah yeah that's what you is and so even when someone's saying something like that, it's not a matter of being bad. It's a matter of like, well, why am I, what did I do that I am so different or not acceptable?

So I don't think it's a matter of good or bad. I think it's why am I so unacceptable? Why don't I fit? How can I fit? What can I do to fit in? Why do, why don't I? So let me try whatever I can do to fit in. So that maybe I'm not called these names so that maybe I can hang out with these people and do these things. You're celebrated and accepted and non outcast.

Right. Did you ever learn how to accept yourself? Not until recently. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Not until recently. yeah yeah not until recently so were you you know and i'm not sure if you were cautious or unconscious about this but were you chasing something to be accepted by others absolutely and i think you talk to most performers or anyone in the spotlight. I mean, that is the, I, I never chased fame. I'll be the first person to say that I didn't care about being, being famous. Cause that wasn't even in my mindset. So when I said I was 16 and running, run chasing, I was chasing the work piece of it because work equaled money, right. Which equals success, which equals stability, which equaled the bragging rights, which equaled me being able toed stability, which equaled the bragging rights,

which equaled me being able to say, ha ha, look. But to me- Proving people wrong, yeah. Right. But I felt cool when I was just working at Universal Studios as the Ghostbuster in the theme park or the Wolfman or Dracula in the Beetlejuice rock and roll show, because I was making a living. So if anyone so if anyone would have said, said, do you feel good about yourself? It's like, yeah, look, I'm on stage. Thousands of people see me each day. Granted, I'm dressed as the Wolfman and I'm break dancing and saying it a song, but I'm on stage. You're working in pain. Right. So my scope of that just, I think, I think show business is one big theme park show. No matter if I'm hosting the AMAs in front of thousands of people,

they're live and millions of people at home. Mandy and I, when we were doing our walkthrough, when I just hosted the show and before the show, when looking at the cameras and everything, we started laughing because we thought this is just like being at Universal Studios, except it's on A,

ABC in front of millions of people, but I'm at a theme park. Yeah. So fame was never, because I always look at it in that way. The fame wasn't a part of it. So I never chased that to make myself happy. I was chasing the work piece so I could have the financial gain, so that made me feel good about myself.

When did you feel like you started to accept who you were and accept yourself and not need the outside acceptance? And maybe it's still a process you're in right now. It is. No, it absolutely is. Cause I wish I could go, Oh no, I look. No, but you do chase that external. And now, especially in the age of social media, because that is a, that's a barometer of how well you're doing in the world. And it's also a business thing now. Yeah. You want to make sure that what you're doing is, is accepted. Am I still relevant? Am I good enough? Am I, because those things impact your, your, uh, your, your work. But I think that my thing personally, still, I still have those issues

from when I was a kid. I think I saw one of your acceptance speeches of something, I don't remember if it was recently or not, but you were mentioning how, you know, you didn't get in some cover band or something. And you're like,

oh, that's at the AMAs. Yeah. Yeah, which, if that isn't that kid wayne speaking through grown wayne doing a natty natty boo-boo right because i wrote it into the thing as a as a bit of the comedy to set up the song but it was real i was like you know what y'all didn't want to let me in your cover band. And now look at me now. So. Right. Right.

But where, I mean, I know that feeling so well because most of my life I was chasing success as an athlete, you know, in college and professional sports and then in business transitioning it because I was picked last on sports teams over the girls. I was picked last because I was made fun of and

in special needs classes all the way through college and couldn't read and write and just struggled in school and had similar, you know, bullying tactics towards me. And I always remember feeling like I don't belong. I don't fit in. So what can I do? My gift was sports to say, okay, you're never going to pick me last again. I'm always going to be the most valuable person on every team I play on. Yes. And I will work harder than anyone. Even if I don't have the size or the speed or the natural strength, I will do anything and everything to be as successful as possible so that people have to pick me. That was me for most of my life until I hit about 30, about 10 years ago. I just turned 40

last month. And I realized, wow, I was, you know, as successful as I could take my sports career professionally. Right. And I played with the USA national team for eight years for a sport called team handball. And I was driving in business and making money and building my personal brand and getting all this acknowledgement. I remember at 30, my entire life was still breaking down in every relationship because I was so focused on chasing success as opposed to feeling self-love. Feeling acceptance of me and all the parts of me from my first memory until then. And it wasn't until I was able to start looking back and healing and mending and forgiving others and myself and accepting all the parts of me when I started to have some growth. And it's been a 10 year journey of healing and, and facing these things, but

it's been a process. And so I know, you know, similar feeling of like, I left home when I was 13 and I was like, get me out of this place. I need to get away and start new and, you know, chase something. So I understand that feeling of not being accepted. And I don't think anyone listening or watching likes the feeling of not being accepted. of not being accepted. And what I've learned is, you know, for nine months, I had a photo of my five-year-old self on my screensaver a few years ago. And I did so much work on facing my little Lewis inside of me and asking him, what did you need to hear? What did you need to feel? What did you need to experience in this moment at seven, at nine, at 12? And I had some of the most profound healing experiences emotionally within me by creating those kind of spiritual exercises for myself, my younger self. I'm curious, it sounds like you've been starting some of this inner child healing and addressing some of it. What is it you think, you know, little Wayne at five, seven and nine and 12 really needed to feel and hear that you didn't receive? Well, first off, thank you.

Thank you for sharing that with me and I know, know that your viewers and listeners have, have heard it, but, but in listening, in listening to you and listening to those things and seeing, even as you talk, talk about it, looking in your eyes and seeing, seeing you get transported back to those places. Oh man, I, I feel, I feel for you. And what's interesting is I know that there's still someone that will watch this at some point because I just think it's human nature. That'll go well. Why are you griping? Look at you, man.

You still, you got the school of greatness. So shut up. You, you did the thing, but it's deeper than that. Yes, you did the thing, but i feel you did it out of out of self self-defense out of there being no other option and i know that feeling to want to be you said to be the most valuable player that's how i've always wanted to be like i will be the mvp of every show of every stage if i do something i will be the mvp in that group you will remember it will be so to hear that just oh man i i just feel for you because i know that but But the, you know, the last two and a half years of healing that and really

having a beautiful relationship with my psychological five-year-old, seven-year-old, 12-year-old, 17-year-old self that was not feeling accepted, that was not feeling loved, that really hated myself and would say mean things to me all the time. It's been a beautiful journey because I never, I always felt chest pain and heart palpitations throughout stages of life, pain, tightness in my throat. I don't know if that you can relate to that. Yes. That's why, as you say it, like, oh my God. And, and I would have like a ball, I almost feel like a ball of pain in my chest that would come and go. I could manage it sometimes through like having good habits and sleeping and eating well and working out, but it's still always there. And a lot of it was because I wasn't willing to heal and face the scariest parts about myself, the shames, the insecurities, the things that I felt

like I was not enough in. And when I, and it took me many, many months of exercises and practice and emotional coaching with support to where there was one day, this ball of pain that did not seem like it was going away. It literally like popped and disintegrated throughout my body. And I'm getting chills now thinking about it because it like something released inside of my chest. I don't know how to explain it, but the pain released, disintegrated. I felt like all over my body,

kind of this fluid flushing through my body. And I was like, that's interesting. This thing just went away and it hasn't come back since then, almost two years ago. And it's been extremely profound. It's probably the hardest work I've ever done in my life, harder than any sports training,

any business that I've launched was facing the parts of me that I was the most afraid of and allowing myself to feel self-love without needing someone else to love me or accept me or celebrate me, but me celebrating me. And it's something i want everyone to feel and experience because i suffered for so many years of my life and i know a lot of people are suffering absolutely and and people can be super successful and still suffer deeply inside absolutely yes in fact you there there's no of course you you you can't prove this by any true standard, but I would dare say you would sitting home watching your favorite athlete or performer on stage or musician or, or CEO of the biggest business that you're like, ah, that life,

that person that I could be like that. Yeah. the biggest business that you're like, that life, that person that... If I could be like that, yeah. That person probably goes home and is just absolutely lonely and somewhat broken. And I know some of those people.

I know you've seen those people over the last 20 years here, 30 years. Yeah, man. And to hear you even say, you know, that thing that dissolved, mine was going back to that thing of like when I was a kid, the pressure in my jaw and the headache for years, the headaches that went along with when I would feel that I was being... My trigger is feeling disrespected or looked down upon in any given situation.

That was your wound. That sets me off. That's a trigger, that's a button. Someone does that and it could be my daughter that says something that makes me go. It could be my partner, it could be my friend, it could be someone that I'm a random stranger. It could be somebody online. Immediately I go to, to rage because how dare you work so hard. Don't disrespect to, to go to that place. So I wish I love your, your journey. And that's inspiring to me because I have started the work with the, and it is some of the hardest work to go back and deal with the past

traumas and to address yourself then. And I've started it, but I have not by any stretch of the imagination finished it. And I do wish that I could go back. It's a journey, you know, it's a healing is a journey. It's not a destination where it's like, I'm healed in this, you know, right never gonna fuck done Oh, yeah, I'm great. Although that pain has subsided that was in my chest for decades off and on I Still feel anxious and you know stressed and overwhelmed at times But I feel so much more sense of inner peace that I've never had in my life But I'm also practicing it every couple of weeks with an emotional coach.

You have to. It's like, I'm not like, okay, I've figured it out and I'm done addressing this. It's almost a constant progressing beyond and reconnecting with the parts of ourselves that we neglected or ran away from and making sure that we are in congruence like you talked about, like heart mind congruence, where we are in alignment of the parts we're shamed of, the parts we haven't forgiven ourselves of or that we held onto for too long, or the things that we resented in others, and we create that healing and alignment.

And again, I'm not an expert, except for my own experience of what I've learned from it, but I know there is peace and freedom on the other side if people are willing to face and address these things. I love that, and that's what I want. That's what I'm working towards. I think that's what anyone who starts this journey, ultimately that's what we want. And I feel like, you know, I want that peace, but not only do I want that peace for myself, you know, I look at my father. My father passed when he was 45. How old are you now? I'm

50. So I always had this clock. My, my dad passed when I was, I think I was 23, 23 or 24. So he didn't really get to see you make it that, you know, but he did get to see me work really really fast i'll just say uh when i um i i guess maybe i was 19 20 uh no no 20 or 21 uh i booked these two really big roles back to back being in orlando the the work was always in atlanta so i got on a greyhound bus six hours to get to atlanta to get to audition for uh the first thing was on this nb NBC show called I'll fly away this civil rights drama and I booked a recurring role and it was and it was in the newspaper in Orlando because I mean slow news day and local boy does does does good and ends up, you know, on a network show. And then right after that, I booked this old TV show, In the Heat of the Night, starring Carol O'Connor of Archie Bunker fame. And he was also the director. Well, he was the one that cast me.

I auditioned for the role of this thug. And especially when I was 17, 18, this skinny, tall kid, I was definitely not going to be the thug. And as I'm walking back to go get my Greyhound bust, the casting director ran back and said, Carol wants to talk to you. And I went in and I'm just starstruck. This was the first star that I really met.

It's Carol O'Connor. You know, when I'm kidding, I'm watching Archie Bunker. He said, son, do you know anybody with autism or who's on the spectrum? I said, yes, I have a cousin who's on the spectrum. And I know, you know, I love him and I know what he acts like. Read this, go back and read this. And I went and I applied what I knew of my cousin to it.

And I booked the role. I got the job. Big two-part episode. So two and a half weeks of work in Georgia in this town called Conyers. Conyers was about 20 minutes from where my dad was living. Wow. I hadn't seen my dad in a couple of years at that point. I drove up to where my dad was. I went in. He was so proud of me. I told him that I was working up the street doing the thing, and he saw that I had done the other NBC show. And we hadn't really seen each other spoken after I graduated high school because my family was basically angry that I decided to go into show business

because I turned down a couple scholarships to a couple really big universities to follow that path. And I hated being a student. That was one of my things because I maybe had the opposite of your thing because you said that you were placed in those special learning programs. I was always shoved into every AP course and everything else. And it wasn't that I didn't mind it, but some of it, the expectations of, oh, you should be able to do that. I couldn't do some of it. I was taking general math at the same time that I'm in AP English and AP studies. I felt so stupid at some points. I'm like, I don't understand these figures that are

in front of my face. So I had a whole issue with that. So I said, once I'm out of school, I'm done. I'll continue to learn, but I'm not doing that anymore. So we had a whole thing. So I see my dad. I tell him that I'm working on this show. He hugged me. We sat down. He was like, you want a beer? He called up a couple of his friends. He said, my son is working. He's doing this thing with Archie Bunker, blah, blah, blah. And then later I moved to LA. And so a couple of years later, that's when he passed. So I always had this clock of my dad had a massive coronary when he was 45 i didn't know my dad well so i still don't even really know his health issues well i know that he suffered from

a lot of like a lot of vietnam veterans he had ptsd he was struggling with a lot of stuff i know that he might have been on uh on pain meds or something or on on uh what the the on antidepressants and excuse me and whatever he was going through for his heart so when he passed immediately i was like i'm gonna die when i hit 45 oh man and i never talked to anybody about it i just knew i knew i had a clock holy cow so you're running so that whole fight fight or flight thing that was in full gear so i just knew so whatever i was going to do i had to finish it before 4 45 i was ready to go so the fact that i have lived longer than my dad so

the fact that i've done those things that's one of the that's one of the joys that i can not enjoy that my dad but that's one of the things that I can actually go, look, Wayne, look, man, just look. That was an unfounded fear. You're breaking trauma. You are breaking this thing. So just calm down. Just try to learn. Just try to heal yourself. You still have time. You still have time. And that's what I'm trying to work on now. That's why I'm in therapy. And I wish I could say that I do my, that my therapy game is perfect. It's far from perfect.

I will absolutely avoid my therapist on some days. It's not fun, man. I was like, nope, not going. Because I feel, as soon as we leave here, I've got an hour session with him because I'm so inspired by you. I've gonna, we've been talking about the childhood thing and I've been an hour session with him because I'm so inspired by you. I've going to, we've been talking about the child childhood thing and I've been avoiding some, some of it because I don't want to talk to that kid because there are a couple of

things that it's easy to talk to the kid when I go, Hey, look what you did, man. You were starring in this TV show where you, you just created a show and you're on this thing, but it's hard to talk to the kid when I have to address very specific hurts because I don't want to revisit them. So even just for today, just talk, talking to you, I'm going to go and I'm going to have a conversation and begin a piece of that process. Um, that's beautiful, man. It's a, it's work and I'm not here to have you revisit those painful moments. I'll let you do that in therapy, but I'm not here to have you revisit those painful moments. I'll let you do that in therapy, but I'm curious if you could have a conversation.

Yeah. What would he need to hear from an adult that truly loves him and accepts him? What would you have needed to hear at five, seven, or nine? Just off the top of my head and just really trying to think about this, I think at, I think five. I'm trying to picture that kid at five. I think even starting at five,

if I were that adult, I would hug him. Never underestimate the value of affection of a hug on a child. My grandmother loved me. You couldn't tell her nothing about me. She loved the pants off me. But affection was in short supply. She wasn't that person. We were not those people. I was affectionate. I was very affectionate. That's one of the things that I've gone back in that work. I always was on, but you could not pry me off of my grandmother. And once I was there, she's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. She loved me. But I initiated it and I don't know, nobody else in my family was like that. So I learned that I need this, please give me that. So I would hug him. And then maybe when I was 10,

I have a memory of my sister and I, I've got a younger sister that came to live with us, of us playing with these other kids. And part of my memory is that Wayne, even now, that loves to shut down and shut everybody out because if I'm like that, then you can't hurt me or whatnot. I remember these other kids trying to play with us and I completely put up this wall and I was like, no, don't talk to them

because they're going to say mean stuff and we're better than them. Just who says that? But that's a story that I had to tell myself at that second because I didn't want to be hurt. I would go to him and go, hey, you can be completely open and don't try to, don't shut everybody out.

Wow. Don't shut everybody out and be, and build this armor. Because even the Wayne that when you say that you watch on a show or even from when I start, when I teach acting classes, I always say, know your strengths. And I know that for me, one of my strengths is when dealing with an audience, I make you feel like I am completely open to you. And I'm not going to say the word charming because you don't call yourself charming,

but I do know that I have a thing that I can draw people in and I can make you feel good and I can feel good. And we've got that thing and I'll smile at you and we do that. But as soon as I step off stage, then I am very much the whole thing, the armor's back on. Really? And it's not because I'm a loofer. I think I'm better. It's because I'm not on stage anymore.

I'm going to protect myself now. Wow. And I would tell the Wayne that develops that armor, which can sometimes seem aloof, which air every blue moon, someone has run up on me in real life. And maybe, and maybe it was the day that they were expecting.

Hey, Wayne, you've been in like, yeah. Hi. Wow. But you didn't, they just caught me on that day was never to offend anybody was I have gotten so used to protecting myself. So I would try to go back and, and tell that kid, Hey, it's okay to be open. It's okay. You don't have to, not everybody is trying to punch you in your face, man.

is trying to punch you in your face, man. Wow, man. This is powerful. Yeah. I don't think I've ever heard you talk about this stuff in interviews. I think I've definitely started talking about it more in the past couple years because it's the only way I'm trying to reach a point by the time I leave this earth, knock on wood, which I hope is many years from now, that I can honestly say I'm living in transparency and also taking control of my narrative.

Because even in a bigger, even in terms of my work, I know that for some people in this business, I've been placed in a box and I fight that box all the time. Whether it's because there's work that I want to do and work that I'm creating, but they're like, oh, well, Wayne Brady doesn't do those things. Cause I see, I like him when he does that at a, and talk about, well, talk about fueling the resentment train. Don't even get, that's a whole, I'm oh yeah. Like mad. Don't even talk to talk about that. But, but the only way that I can break that and take back my narrative of, and letting me really express myself creatively and doing some of the roles that other people are in control of, I believe is to truly, instead of being the smooth Wayne that is on these shows and that has from my time on Who's Line, that's how I'll go along to get along is,

you'll never know anything about me. And that armor will make me smooth and I'll smile at you and we'll do a thing, but that's all it is. I'm going to keep this at bay. By letting myself be open and being more transparent and showing the cracks in the armor, the wrinkle here, the blemish there, I can show that this is real life. And I'm a real person who is capable of not only artistically delving and doing the things that I want to do, but I'm a real person who maybe

my story can touch and affect someone. I've got a couple final questions for you. Yeah, please. Before I finish these final three questions that I ask everyone towards the end, I want to ask you if you're open to try something and feel free to say no. This is coming to me. We can edit this out if you don't want to do it. Let's see. I'm curious if you could.

I don't even know where I'm going with this, but I want to see if there's something here. I'm curious if you could. You see't even know where I'm going with this, but I want to see if there's something here. I'm curious if you could. Remember off cam, we said that the, that the best type of improvisation is a conversation. Yes. So,

so, so this is the yes and so. So yes and. So I'm curious if you'd be open to doing some type of recap of this conversation in some type of artistic way. From the things that you've talked about, if you could go back in the last hour and a half and pull in all the conversations that we've had,

if you'd be able to, I don't know if, I don't want to call it a song or something, but if there's a way you could improv or a rhyme or something of a recap, kind of, kind of your strength of what you do best. And we don't have, we can cut this out. If this is a, uh, doesn't make sense, but I'm curious if there's something there. It's interesting. Uh, let, let, let's see. Um, you know, we don't have any music, so, uh, so I don't know if I would call it a straight up rap, but let's see if there's some sort of, uh, some sort of read recap. Um, that's, that's interesting. Um, it could be 60

seconds. It could be a 30 seconds, a couple of minutes, whatever speaks to your heart, whatever's on your mind from the conversation we've had, what it's brought up for your life in the past and where you were intending to have in the future. Let's see. Just off the top, the top of my head. Okay. So, I've been challenged right now on this very spot to create this. Here I am, sitting down on the spot, the school of greatness. I tried to arrive on time so you can't impugn me or talk about my lateness.

All right. Put on the spot. I do this fairly well, so I can't hate this. So let me start. I go back. Again, where can I begin? I mentioned I felt like a superhero, so this is the story of my origin. Kid raised in Tangelo Park. Complexion, chocolate, very, very dark.

To parents from the caribbean uh thinking of all of the places and the dark spots that i've been again thinking of how i was raised thinking of the uh the the things that have been said that stuck in my psyche thinking and dreaming in my mind in my room ruminating on the great man that i might be keeping these dreams and visions to myself because i felt that maybe i could see visions of wealth fame was never really on the chalkboard it wasn't something that i saw really i was thinking more of a of a car or or never get in trouble with the law using that type of privilege that money could be and that would be that trying to become so rich that one day maybe my green would equal black trying to work my way out of the neighborhood

by using these skills that i would develop and uh thinking about the relationships a hug from my grandma in her arms that i could be enveloped being bused to one school and saying that I wasn't white enough, then back with the other kids not black enough where life was tough. I swore to myself as soon as I started to work that I'd be the person on top. You couldn't call me a jerk or any other type of name that would come out of your mouth. If I mentioned this before, I'm from Orlando, deep in Florida, the deep South. So every single day was a battle. Every single day was war.

Every single day was some type of fight with words and barbs that I tried to ignore. So I took it on the chin, kept it. And sometimes I felt my heart would break. I couldn't speak it loud at home. So I would develop this horrible headache. I had a migraine that wouldn't go away. The only way to stop it is to do a job and get that money. There's something in the store and I'd go out and I'd cop it.

I learned early on that affluence was meant to attain wealth. And I equaled it very foolishly with wealth would equal great health. And I moved from Orlando. I was a musician and a dancer. I was an actor. And doing all these things, I would just take my chance. So I went to Japan. I sang overseas.

I came. I did things. I did everything to the best of my ability. From Broadway to stage, I learned to improvise. I thought I was being smart. I thought that street smarts equaled wise. I just kept on running, running, running until the feeling would settle in. And then I'd recognize now that I was running on pure adrenaline. I met my ex-wife, well, my

ex-ex-wife because I was married twice. But the second marriage, it worked out rather nice i met her in hawaii we both moved here in 95 and then later on we had a child she's 20 so for 20 years we've managed to keep her alive between the two of us we had ups and downs we worked at theme parks and theater we did every single thing all we can do with that paper chase and my daughter the greatness that i could see in her all i wanted to do was to create. Fame, I didn't want it. All I wanted was the external things, a nice car and a house so I could flaunt it.

But then people knew my name, but then with people knowing your name, came with a greater awareness and you'd have to learn to play the game. So I put on the shield and I put on the gloss and I'd sit there and smile at the ABC and the CBS at the boss. And inside I was just angry as can be. I was ready to snap on anybody at any second if I thought they were disrespecting me. Still, it wasn't until the age of 40 that I realized I

needed therapy because my daughter, she said, daddy, I don't want you to die. Those are real words that she shared with me. So in the decades since and in my experience, I've kept on trying. My dad, he passed at 45. So every day, that's the number that I keep that I kept from dying. So now all I can do is day by day, live my life. I'm single, we've talked about how bad it was at relationships, not necessarily looking for a wife. First, I've got to work on myself and establish a relationship with the deity from above because just like RuPaul said, and I'm paraphrasing,

you need self-love. So that's where I am. I'm working at this point to parenting little Wayne. And so here on the School of Greatness, my life story I hope in this rhyme I've explained. Oh my goodness. That's incredible, man.

Wow. That was amazing. Oh, thanks. Now I'm light-headed. Good. I'm glad I did it. That's amazing, man. Thank you for the recap. That was, again, on the spot recap. Thanks, man. That was beautiful. No one has ever asked me to do that.

You win for the most original thing that has happened in an interview. That was incredible, man. Well, thanks, man. Again, I love what you said to focus on your gifts. And so I wanted you to be able to use some of that gift because, you know, we talked more about the emotional side of things but um which is what i'm most curious about or fascinated about human beings and what makes them become great and what right on what made them run from pain that turned into greatness and how can we also create that inner peace while we are using our gifts and our talents so that we're not in shame or hurting or in pain but we are using our talents and our talents so that we're not in shame or hurting or in pain,

but we are using our talents to make an impact on others. I wish I loved that. And just to add as an addendum to this, you know, to folks watching, we've talked about all the negative stuff that forges you, you know, but the positive piece of it is, just like you were saying, to use your gifts, the positive piece is when I was a kid, just like you were saying to use your gifts the positive piece is when i was a kid i developed whatever the natural thing is that i have that i put technique to later but the natural inquisitive nature that makes me want to learn that made me want to read everything that made me a a sci-fi nerd a history geek all that that a musical lover to be able to write songs on the spot, to do these characters, to do these things that I did create when I was a kid in that

room by myself, that ball of creativity that I was able to year by year and as I've gotten older to use that, to use that as my way to express myself so that whether it's an hour and a half show, whether it's a Broadway show, whether it's my improv show, whether it's a game show or playing a character, I was able to channel that into, to my thing and to be able to have something that you have built and grown. I wish that everyone did have that. I wish that everyone would have something of themselves that they can develop that talent,

because that is a shot at greatness, to become an outlier in something, to be able to put in your 10,000 hours at something and go beyond the shadow of a doubt. That I can look you in the eye, that I can look at anybody watching in the eye, I look the audience in the eye every night and go, I am great at this beyond the shadow of a doubt, no matter what my other stuff is going on, I do this. And this is something that cannot be taken away from me, uh, unless I let it. So that is a beauty. That is a beautiful thing of being able to have that art come out of that pain.

Man. Again, I still have these couple of final questions, but how can we best be of service to you? I want people to follow you over on Instagram and your TikTok and your website. We'll have it all linked up here. Yeah, come and follow me on my Instagram at MrBradyBaby, M-R Brady Baby. My TikTok is Wayne Brady.

And I think that those are the two that I use the most, of course, on Facebook, if you find me. I'm the official Wayne Brady. How else can we be of service to you? Wow, that is such an amazing thing to, I think, even on Instagram, reach out, because here is the thing that we've talked about all this other stuff. Some of the things that I'm trying to put out into the world. I'm trying to, to put out into the world. I'm trying to...

During the pandemic, one of the good things to come up was in the conversation around race and Black Lives mattering and these voices and giving voices to voices that aren't heard, one of the things that came up was in the world of comedy. You know, UCB and Second City and some of the giants in comedy here in LA, a lot of stories came about the inequities of how minorities were maybe treated in those spaces. And my goal, my dream is to create a space where the kid that looks like me or the kid that doesn't

look like your average person in a sketch group or an improv group or whatnot can can find a safe space to develop those talents if i would have that's that's one of the things i think that really helped me is when i was i think i was 18 or 19 when i started really doing improv and learning the art. I learned it from a group, a group that became my friends and my family at the time, SAC Theater out in Orlando, S-A-K. So if any of you in the South, you know, go to Orlando SAC Theater. I helped form this thing called the SAC Theater Comedy Lab. And that's where I learned the art of being funny. Not where I learned to be funny, the art of building. And of course, I learned the art of being funny. Not where I learned to be funny,

the art of building. And of course, I was the only person that looked like me. And I didn't know that when I did Whose Line that it was such a big deal that I was the only person that looked like me in that little group. But I want to create a space here in Los Angeles, one in Orlando Orlando and hopefully one in, uh, New York where I can make it okay for, for these kids to come into this space, to use their minds, to use their imaginations, to feel free to play, because that's what I do. All of this serious talk aside, when I'm on stage, I'm playing, All of this serious talk aside, when I'm on stage, I'm playing. I'm playing like a little kid. I want them to engender that sense of play and to embody it and to feel it.

And to also teach them a bigger conversation about the art. Not just the art of improv, but the things that I feel that help me. So giving courses in history. Giving courses in singing, dancing, acting, how all those pertain to improv and sketch and writing. So hopefully speak, which is one of the fears I think that most humans have, speaking in front of an assemblage. So it's like, yeah, I'll share with you now one of the scariest things in the world to give them the confidence to take that into a job interview.

Take that into work. Know that you can walk into a place and I can talk to anybody in this world and feel confident. I would love to be able to bring that. So we are starting an academy. I started to partner with Freestyle Love Supreme, Lin-Manuel's group, my buddy Anthony's group, to be able to bring an academy like that to life. How can people support or be a part of that? Or should they sign up for a newsletter to be? Contact me on Instagram. The way that I'm building that slowly is I'll be doing workshops

in the middle of all the other stuff I'm doing. I'm going to start doing workshops here in Los Angeles and at other places in the country, doing free improv workshops and public speaking improv workshops. So if that's interesting for people, they should DM you on Instagram or message you or leave a comment somewhere. And someone will get back to you and I'll put together a mailing list. Wow.

And it has to start small at the grassroots level. It's amazing, man. Yeah. So make sure you guys reach out and send them a message on Instagram. And I'll definitely hit you up to come and be a speaker. Amen. So please know that. Amen. So, so please. Amen.

Amen, man. Um, this is a question I asked everyone at the end called the three truths question. Ooh. So imagine a hypothetical scenario. Yes. It's your last day on earth many years away. You get to live as long as you want to live.

Ooh. But eventually you got to turn the lights off in this life. Right. Uh, and you have created everything you want in your life from, you know, where you are now at 50 until the last day you get to create and make an impact and do the things you love and have the family and the relationships you want. I love that. But for whatever reason, in this hypothetical scenario, everything you've created

has to go with you. So no one has access to this workshop and this conversation and any TV show you've ever done. All those videos are all- So you're erased from- It's hypothetical. Okay, yeah, yeah. No one has access to your content anymore. Got it. But you get to leave behind three things that you know to be true from your life,

from all of your experiences, from your first memory know 50 plus years away from now last memory what would be those three truths that you would leave behind if we had no other access of your content or information that really is one of the best questions i think i've ever heard that's a wow three truths okay well i guess there's self-truths. So the first one that I can think of is, like I said earlier, I think approach life with intention. and I'm going to steal something from my barber, my man, Trey, who said something to me a couple days ago that I think goes along with that. Then I went, what'd you say? Oh, I'm stealing that. He said, have a good day on purpose.

So I think definitely the intentional piece of don't let life be something that we just get up and we do because we're lucky enough to still be breathing when we wake up it's like all right all right it's tuesday it's cool no it's tuesday let's go whatever that is let's go so i think that that's one live with intention it may not always work out but live with intention um another one of my truths is uh uh is family is everything. But then in parentheses, that family is whatever you make it.

So I don't necessarily mean your auntie and your brother, your cousin or folks that your family is whoever is good for your soul and is on your team. Blood does not necessarily make family. I have a family. I have people in my family by blood that I love. But I will say one of the best things about my time here in Los Angeles over these near 30 years is I made a family. I made a family with my ex-wife, Mandy,

who now is my, I do believe she's my soul mate i've made a family with her with her partner jason i've made a family with my biological daughter but with the we call ourselves the core four with jason mandy miley and now they have a son, Sonny. That's a family that we chose to stay together. Mandy and I did not have to be in each other's lives. In fact, some would say it would be easier sometimes to make a quick cut and be like, okay, well, I can just go in and do everything I want to. But most of the good things that have happened in my life,

it's because of my relationship with Mandy and the faith that she's had in me and the love that I get from her. Your ex-wife. Yes. Yeah. My ex-wife and, and her support and this beautiful daughter that we've made together and the things that we are still trying to put out and make in the world right now. Wow. Cause she's your business partner on a lot of things right now. She's my business partner and we have our company and she is my, we right now have a show that we're shooting for a major streamer that is based on our family because of our dynamic.

And I have other friends here in Los Angeles, like my brother Harrison, who I worked with in theater and who is Mandy's godfather to Chris from Hawaii, that I've got people who I know that if I call them and said, hey, I'm in jail, come bail me out or I need you because I just need a cry. Yeah. So make your family. That's your family. Don't make your family.

Okay. And lastly, and this is something that I'm still trying to learn, ironically, because of one of my jobs and my profession is laugh at yourself. Hmm. and for me it is very hard to do because i always am very sensitive to i never want to have the joke i never want to be the joke i always don't want to make the joke and that comes from that little kid wayne being laughed at or feeling like he was the butt of the joke and like you will not make fun of me now so but that being said maybe if someone does make fun the fun of you it's not gonna kill you and if what they're saying isn't true then maybe laugh at it and don't give it as much power that's something that i can definitely learn right yeah that's

beautiful man i love these three truths. I have one final question before I want to ask it. I want to share what I see as possible for you. Please. What I see as possible for you is a human being filled with love, abundance, peace, and health. A human being that feels a ton of self-love for who you are and accepted by you, all the parts of you, and someone that accepts all the parts of you as well. And what I see as possible for you is a human that continues to transition and using his gifts, not just to make a living, but to make others' lives more fulfilled, which is what you've done, but it wasn't what your intention was originally.

Right. that you continue to intentionally create things that fuel you, your soul and your spirit, but also make a positive impact on others with, as part of your intention and something I see as possible for you. And I really want, I will acknowledge you in the beginning and I'm acknowledging you again for all the gifts you've had, the commitment you have to working and growing on yourself.

Cause it's a journey for me as it is for anyone. And, um, the impact you've made, even though you don't know you've made it i acknowledge you for all that you've done for for the world and i'm excited for you to step into understanding the impact you continue to make moving forward so that's that's what i wanted to share before the last question thank you for the you guys of course Thank you for that. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Yeah, of course. And I, and I accept that and I take that. I love it. And that's what I want. I love it. I love it. Final question. What's your definition of greatness? I'm going to go with my first mind. So as soon as you said greatness, my definition of greatness is, and I've got to go with self-greatness, not necessarily what other people think of you.

I think my definition of greatness is striving for something and because who knows if it'll ever really be achieved but striving to be the pinnacle of of a craft or of being yourself, whatever that best version of that looks like. And I'm not talking about the version that competes with other people to be great because you won this or whatnot. No, it's to be great where you go,

I love what I'm doing, or I love this thing or myself so much that I can, that it transcends just a job. It transcends a hobby. It transcends, oh, I like clothes. It becomes such a pure pure joyful state of being that that's what i can't equate with greatness is joyful that you are so joyful in this thing that you're in and i'm still trying to achieve that and i think i see snatches of it every blue moon, every time I'm on stage. I like that. But the greatness of going, I feel so good in this space.

I feel so good in myself. I feel great, great in my skin right now. That's greatness. I feel like I'm glowing. I think that's greatness, achieving that state. So no matter what your job is or your thing, just achieving a state of, I feel so joyful in it. And I hope that's clear because I know what I mean. Yes. He says, I'm saying it.

I'm, I'm, I'm kind of feeling, you know, I always, I feel it. It's like a picture. It's like that. It's like a, you know, and I always bring things back to superheroes and whatnot. But feeling that glow, like just being in the middle of it, whether it's in the middle of a great game. Your personal best, greatness, I think, is your personal best. That's what it is. Like, I don't care what you did.

But I know as I, woo, I can't touch that. That's just, oh, I feel that. And I'm glowing from it. And I feel it at the top of my head and the energy is crackling out from my fingertips. When you hit that state, I think that's greatness and being proud, proud of it. Greatness can't live. Greatness can't live in the shadows. Great greatness can't live in shame. Right. So that's why I think you're so joyous and proud of whatever that thing is, because there's not a thing shameful about whatever you just did or what you do to, to feel, feel that. Yeah. That's that state.

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