The School of Greatness - The 3 Emotional Skills That Make You Successful In Life
Episode Date: June 27, 2025Leave an Amazon Rating or Review for my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy!Building a $350 million business while staying emotionally grounded seems impossible, but Gary Vaynerchuk revea...ls how radical self-love became his secret weapon for sustainable success. In this raw conversation, Gary opens up about his biggest professional weakness - his inability to give candid feedback to employees he cares about - and how this "kryptonite" nearly sabotaged his leadership at VaynerMedia. He shares the moment he realized that being "too nice" was actually hurting the people he was trying to protect, forcing him to confront the difference between charity and candor in business relationships. This episode delivers a masterclass in emotional intelligence for entrepreneurs, creators burning out from chasing algorithms, and anyone trapped in the validation cycle of social media success..Buy Gary's book, Day Trading Attention, for yourself and a friend!Buy Gary's children's book, Meet Me In The Middle, today!In this episode you will learn:How to build sustainable success without being defined by external metrics like followers, revenue, or rankingsThe three core emotional skills that determine your capacity for both business success and personal fulfillmentWhy your relationship with losing directly correlates to your entrepreneurial potential and long-term achievementHow to conduct a "self-intervention" dinner that will reveal your blind spots and accelerate your self-awarenessThe coming revolution in content creation through AI voice translation and virtual influencers that will reshape attentionFor more information go to www.lewishowes.com/1790For more Greatness text PODCAST to +1 (614) 350-3960More SOG episodes we think you’ll love:Daniel Priestley - greatness.lnk.to/1776SCBrendon Burchard - greatness.lnk.to/1770SCDave Ramsey - greatness.lnk.to/1758SC Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy!Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX
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The quality of me as a human matters to me, not as me as a businessman.
I'm aware that I love it. I love being an entrepreneur, but it is not how I f***ing think about myself.
Right.
It's my favorite game. It is my passion. It's not who I am.
Entrepreneur, investor, and New York Times bestselling author.
Founder of VaynerMedia.
Digital media mogul, Gary Vaynerchuk.
Please welcome Gary Vaynerchuk.
Gary Vaynerchuk.
I remember when I was first popping off in that 2007-8 Twitter world,
a lot of people were like,
the wine guy's gonna be around just for a year.
This is too much.
It's all sizzle, no state.
Money and fame and success doesn't change you,
it exposes you.
I just have a very simple question for people.
Explain to me any justification
to sh** on another human being.
If you're not happy, if you're anxious, if you're feeling a lot of pressure, the answer
is ironically, you have to start doing the opposite of everything you naturally want
to do.
That's the other thing that I don't understand what these people are doing.
As if anyone on earth is perfect.
You want to have a real moment in this podcast?
Everybody, I'm looking at all the f**king cameras right now.
I'm sorry about that.
I'm sorry.
I was going for a fact.
You said you want to live to 105.
Yeah.
You get to do one final live stream.
Yeah.
And all you get to leave behind is three truths.
I promise you this is the most truth
I've learned in 105 years.
Welcome back everyone to the School of Greatness.
Very excited about our guests.
We have the inspiring Gary Vaynerchuk in the house.
My man, so good to see you.
It's been 15 years since we met each other.
Yes. You have continued to be a leader in the creator economy, entrepreneurship,
emotional intelligence and so many other things.
So I want to acknowledge you first, Gary, for your continued evolution,
innovation and leadership as a human being and also your friendship.
You have thousands of connections that you
probably text with on a monthly basis.
And you have a lot of people in
your inner circle but then outer circle.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I would say I'm someone
like in the inner outer circle.
Yeah.
We don't see each other a lot,
but when we connect, we connect,
and we have a lot of memories together.
And I always appreciate that when there's something
happens in my life, you reach out.
So I wanna acknowledge you for just being on top of things,
reaching out when things really matter.
Even though we don't think.
Yeah, yeah, I appreciate it.
And one of the things I wanna talk about first in today
is you've got a lot that's always happening.
But one of the things is this book
called Day Trading Attention.
Yes. It seemed, and we were just talking about this right before we started. You were asking me, you know, what's new for you? that's always happening. But one of the things is this book called Day Trading Attention.
And we were just talking about this right before we started. You asked me, you know, what's new for you? And I said, feeling emotionally peaceful and abundant and loved is new for me.
Because in a world of online marketing, social media, entrepreneurship, business, competition,
online marketing, social media, entrepreneurship, business, competition, I was driven to grow, grow, grow. And I was always accomplishing and getting results. But in the last year
there's been changes, ups, downs. For the first time, I feel peaceful about me and love
myself even if I'm not growing at the rate that I always have financially.
Even if you're ranked 113 instead of seven.
Exactly. My question for you to start is,
it seems like people are more stressed and overwhelmed and trapped than ever,
trying to keep up with the algorithms, likes, views.
Yeah.
Changes in platforms, one platform being hot,
then potentially TikTok going away in a few months, who knows?
Right.
People are on this hamster wheel of needing to grow
and create, create, create in order to be relevant.
Is that sustainable?
And how can people stay healthy and love themselves
when they're hot and when they're not?
And how do they not chase the hamster wheel of success
with social and stay more sustainable?
Great question.
Is it sustainable?
Yes, if you're in the place
that I think you're emerging into.
Where you enjoy it and it doesn't define you
and you can love yourself and you're good.
Whether you're making a million dollars a year
or 40,000 a year,
whether you've got a million followers or 40,000,
or the thing that you're going through,
that I go through and many others,
when you have momentum, you're hot, hot,
and then you're not as hot and you go up and down.
So I think it's remarkably sustainable.
I also believe that 99%, 97%, 90%,
I don't know what the number is,
are not in that place yet.
They're not in a place where they don't live
for outside validation.
They're not in a place where they've hit that
maximum place of self-love.
You know, I talk a lot about my mom.
It's very clear to me that whatever she gave me in DNA
and how she parented me and the circumstances
of the environment I grew up in, Edison, New Jersey,
in the 80s,
created a perfect storm where my relationship with me
was so good, even in high school.
I think about it now a lot.
I didn't realize it when I was first coming up
and getting notoriety.
I didn't realize how insane in hindsight,
and Dustin who's filming me right now,
he also grew up in Jersey and he really understands
what I'm about to say, even though I'm older, he really knows what I'm saying.
Like 90s, late 90s, early 2000s, high school in Jersey
in 1990 to 94 when I was there, that was like real kind
of like hardcore, meaning it now blows me away in hindsight
hardcore, you know, meaning it now blows me away in hindsight that I did not, not only did I not succumb
to peer pressure, that it didn't even begin
to gain momentum with me.
Really?
And I had a lot of-
You're like the only one in high school
that this didn't happen to?
No, I think there's others,
but this is why I'm trying to tap into it.
So for me, what you're entering, I believe,
is what I got lucky, and I'm using,
I hate luck because people love to weaponize it
against people they envy, and it's a real lazy trait.
But there's a million variables that are luck
or serendipity or whatever you wanna call it.
But your parents instilled that in you
and gave you that skill.
My mom, my dad instilled other things in me,
and honestly, I was with my mom predominantly from 14
and then ironically the time I'm talking about now
is when I started to really get to know my dad
because I had to work in the liquor store a lot of hours.
I just liked myself and didn't think,
you're a perfect example.
You were like, I was four foot 11
the day I walked into high school.
Yeah, I was six three.
Now I'm six four.
So like, I'm using you because you're a perfect comp.
Even if the most handsome big dude
who was in my grade made fun of me,
and I remember within the first couple weeks,
big shout out, if anybody can find Paige Parlow.
Paige Parlow is two years older than us,
or maybe one, all my high school friends are about to laugh.
She was such a pretty girl.
I think she was a junior, we were freshmen, right?
And she had like cliche, this is literally September 1990.
Her boyfriend is like a smoker dude,
like literally like a John Travolta type dude.
Literally out of central casting.
I somehow get lost, this is literally like week one or two,
get lost of which class I'm going to,
so I'm like two, three minutes after the bell rang,
and I'm like walking the hall trying to figure,
like literally like a movie.
And they're outside, I already know who those two people are,
and we're only a week or two in, right?
They're like the legends of high school, yeah.
And literally they're outside, either her or his locker, making out as I'm walking by.
And everything in my life is just walk by
and have nothing happen, right?
Sure enough, I get by, I'm like, ah.
And it's literally a movie.
It's literally a coming of age movie.
He goes, hey.
I turn back, he goes, the nursery school's right over there.
You have to understand why this is extra funny.
Our high school was a vocational high school.
And I don't know if you know what this is,
but vocational high schools,
because we were in rural New Jersey,
I moved from Edison to Huntington County.
We had a auto body shop, we had a salon,
and we had a daycare in our high school.
And some of the juniors and seniors
were taking classes to become teachers.
So I was literally ironically,
I didn't know where it was at the time,
I'm telling you, the first two, three weeks of high school,
he goes, hey kid, and they laugh,
and I'm like, ugh.
Literally, but here's what's so funny about it.
This is the most meta moment.
I literally said to myself in that moment,
not I'm a piece of or I'll never be cool or I suck
or I can't wait to grow or whatever the.
I said to myself, what's happening right this second.
I'm like, that's gonna be a really funny story one day.
I literally actually at 14 years old said that
and here I am 34 years later, delivering on the promise
I made to myself about that moment.
So the answer is, is it sustainable?
Of course it is.
But the only thing that is sustainable
is when your relationship with yourself is so good,
you can deal with the death of a parent, a partner,
even the worst extreme, a child.
You can deal with getting laid off.
You can get, you can deal with.
Breakups, yeah.
How about athlete life that you grew up with?
Who are the kids that are bound to be professional athletes?
Jay Williams was supposed to be the best basketball player.
Got into a motorcycle accident.
Obviously he has a great career, he's a great entrepreneur.
He's on TV, he's a good dude,
but that's maybe not what he thought his whole life
was gonna be for the first 20 years of his life.
Or the ones that don't make it.
Or the ones that come from a wealthy family
and then the mother or father die of a heart attack,
it spins out the whole family.
Or they get raided by the FBI.
People have things.
My mom lost her mom at five.
My dad lost his dad at 15.
Those are game changing moments.
How does one deal?
That they're in a good place.
Last night I had dinner, one of the people at dinner
was talking about their sibling,
their younger sister passing away.
This woman was in her 60s.
She was talking about her 58 year old sister
and she was talking about the children
and she's talking about the children in their 30s
just on full tilt entitlement.
Like she literally said quote unquote,
one of them is waiting for the father to pass
so they can inherit the money.
And you know I think about those things
and I'm like what does that?
And that's the extreme in the other direction.
So there's the I love myself,
listen you know this about me
and you brought it up in the intro.
I love being nice.
But I'm in, of course I'm nice,
because I'm good with me.
Of course most people that aren't nice,
aren't nice because they're not good with themselves.
So for me, you know,
this is why entrepreneurship has been so easy.
I'm not scared to lose.
And it is the direct correlation.
Your capacity with losing has an incredible correlation
to what you're gonna achieve as an entrepreneur,
sustainably, because when you're deeply insecure
and it's not good, you equally might create massive success
because you're using it as the makeup.
If I put up the points on the board,
everyone will think I'm good,
even though I secretly don't think I'm good.
And what happens when you succeed
but you're not good with yourself?
Exactly what you know what happens.
You and I now have, I have way more than you,
but you're starting to get that.
I saw that the other, I saw the last time
I saw you in New York for a second,
I was like, uh, it's so fun to see you.
Yeah, we're maturing and you know this.
Many of our contemporaries or guys and gals we looked up to,
we've watched get to high levels and collapse.
Crash.
Crash.
Some of it the public knows,
because it's very famous.
Others we know where like someone that was in our circle
speaking or writing books, like made a lot of money,
but like gone through really bad stuff
and drug problems and worse and like we know.
And that's what happens.
Money and fame and success and followers
doesn't change you, it exposes you.
Right?
And so I think for me it was the serendipity
of being in that good place.
And it's probably why I, if you look at my journey,
it's funny, Day Training Attention's a funny book for me.
It's a little bit back to 2009, Gary.
It's very tactical.
Social's changed a lot, and I just wanted to give people
like here it is, like go run for the next 24 months.
But you know, my last book, 12 and a half,
and you know this again,
because we've been together through this journey,
somewhere along the line, six, seven years into giving
tactical black and white marketing
and business advice that will work.
I got to a place where I'm like, wait a minute,
oh, people are doing this not because
they don't know what to do,
it's because they're not in a good place
from a perspective, from a mentality,
from an internal place, and that's when my content
started to evolve into security kind of stuff.
That's emotional intelligence.
That's emotional intelligence.
That's what I mean.
I didn't even know what the term emotion.
Not tactics.
Yeah, because I thought when I came out in 2009,
10, 11, 12, that I just built from 96 to 2000.
That was the other thing that was a little bit different
about me in that era.
I was also someone who had already really done a lot.
And so I was talking about, I did,
not that might happen.
And I think that's what made me explode pretty quickly.
Besides the ability to communicate
and that kind of level of communication charisma,
it was there was meat there.
I remember, you may remember this,
this is actually an interesting question to you.
I remember when I was first popping off
in that 2007, eight Twitter world,
I'm so animated, I'm so over the top.
What I always used to laugh about,
similar to getting made fun of that day in high school
was a lot of people were like, oh, this guy's gonna,
the wine guy's gonna be around just for a year.
This is too much.
It's all sizzle, no steak.
And I would read those tweets,
because I'd go and give a talk at the affiliate summit.
And I would read the comments, and someone's like,
this guy won't even be around in a year.
And it was very similar to getting made fun of
in freshman year high school.
I'm like, I can't wait to recall this
because I know who I am.
I'm an incredibly patient operator
and I build slow and quietly.
VaynerMedia, VaynerX has 2000 employees.
That's incredible, man.
I thought it was only 1,000.
It's 2,000 employees.
You were there.
I was there when we got four.
Correct.
I remember there with like, you guys were in,
I can't remember, Soho or something.
Sunshine Suites down on Debrosa Street.
I remember.
You got a ping pong table
with like four people around the table.
That's right.
Yeah.
That's right.
With like three, four clients trying to figure it out.
And now that's a $350 million a year business.
It's a real business.
Amazing.
And that was built from me and AJ
in Mike Lazaro's Buddy Media Conference Center office
six months before you saw us down in Debrose's.
And that rent for the first year was free
because I traded marketing services for the space.
Because the story that most people don't understand about me,
and I know you know this, is I didn't have any money.
I built my dad's business.
And he didn't pay me much.
And I'm not even as a daddy.
But like 60 and 70 thousand a year.
Like, well real.
Now I was in Jersey, living in a shitty apartment
in Springfield, in Jersey, but it didn't matter.
And I was able to save money
because I worked 8 a.m. to 10 p.m. Monday through Saturday.
I didn't even have time to spend money.
And the internet didn't work the way it did back then,
so it wasn't like I could gamble or buy.
It was just like a very, I had a,
I'm starting to realize in my late 40s, I'm like, man, my life was weird, weird.
Like, it was weird.
I was like in a very weird emotional place,
which is amazing, like off the charts lucky,
just like being an athlete or any work.
Beyonce's born with her voice.
She put in the work.
She developed it, but she had it last year.
LeBron was born with what he is. Put in the work, and developed it, but she had it. LeBron was born with what he is.
Put in the work, and that's how I feel about myself.
I was given a lot of talent emotionally
and a lot of entrepreneurial talent,
and I've put in an obnoxious amount of work,
and here comes the outcomes.
But like also, just like anybody else,
I've gone through my journey along the way.
My last book, 12 and a half,
I talk a lot about candor being my weakness.
My kryptonite.
Candor, what do you mean by that?
Well Gary V's candorous.
Next hour here I'll fucking shoot,
I'll be like you.
You know?
And I do that well as Gary V.
But as Gary Vaynerchuk,
when I have an employee that stinks,
I, for my whole career,
to this day it's a problem.
To this day I'm a five out of 10.
Me a 4.7.
I'm being honest or being?
I'm being honest.
See that even like, honestly that like made me crumble.
I hate that candor is.
Well I mean being.
No, no, no, no, you're right.
No, no, you're right.
Candor is a syndrome or whatever the fuck it's called
of honesty.
My ability to be honest with an employee
that has been around my company for a period of time
and now I like them, who's underperforming.
That's so hard.
Has been the disproportionate kryptonite of my career.
Which surprises people because Gary Vee on stage
or on podcast, that's my strength.
But I'm talking to the world.
When it's one on one and you care about someone.
And I know everything about them.
I know that their dad this and their mom this
and I know they're having a lot of struggles at home
or I know they came in and had $50,000 in college debt
and I'm like, oh, like, and so I've realized
one of my great weaknesses of my career
is that I believe too much charity into my work.
Oh man.
And one of our biggest connection point in our friendship
is pencils of promise, right?
And I've done a good job in doing charity work,
but I haven't been able to take off,
like I really envy the people who like
don't bleed in charity.
Charity has been an element of my investing.
I've invested in companies that if my life depended on it,
I would never have invested in.
I 100% knew it wouldn't work,
but I wanted to write a 20 to 50,000 dollar check
because I liked the person.
I have kept many employees within my companies
for a long time, and here's the worst part.
I've taken the brunt of that,
because it's lost profit, right?
It's reputational damage.
People are like, why is Gary keeping around Sally?
And then what ends up happening is eventually
there is a moment where that person goes,
but it's always been sloppy.
Because of the lack of, and all of a sudden.
A year or two after they should have.
And then I'm the bad guy.
And it's all because, and so candor has been something
I've developed a lot more.
A lot more.
It's still.
So challenging.
Back to, we were joking about, I just read the audio book.
There are a couple things on earth
that come incredibly hard to me.
One is candor to nice people
when I have to let them go in a business.
And two is reading my audio book.
Which is a grind.
Although you mentioned you're in your late 40s now,
is that right?
I just turned 41.
A couple weeks ago, 48. If you could in your late 40s now, is that right? I just turned 41 a couple weeks ago, 48.
If you could go back to 40 and think about all the things
that you struggled with in the last, I guess, eight years.
You've had, you know, people see your wins and successes
nonstop, like all the exits and investments and the growth,
the VaynerMedia and the books and the Ortime Best NFT,
all these different things that people see that.
But for you, what do you think of the two or three things
that have been beyond candor, your biggest struggles
or the hardest things you've had to overcome?
One is very real right now,
which is I am atrocious at smelling the roses
because the whole game for me is smelling the roses.
However, I'm sensing like,
but would I have enjoyed the memories
of the more extreme version of smelling the roses?
Let me explain what I mean.
Yeah, so when I have wins, I don't celebrate them.
Like there's no, like in my world,
we just landed a $20 million client.
It's a lot, it's a big client.
And a bunch of the people at Vayner,
they've worked at other places, they're like,
so when's the, so when are we doing like the celebration?
And I'm like, what are you, I don't,
my brain's like, I don't understand what you're saying. Right? And not that like I'm like, what are you, I don't, my brain's like, I don't understand what you're saying.
Right?
And not that I'm like some tyrant.
It's almost like just my energy goes to problems.
I'm a, you know, as I continue to go through my own journey,
it'll be very clear that I was blessed
with many things as a child,
but I was also burdened with some.
Like I was the oldest from the old country.
I mean when I tell you since the time I was five years old,
I remember being greened in my head.
Like responsibility, responsibility.
Take care of your sister, take care, like my mom,
and I admire that from my mom.
Do I also understand like anything,
if anything's too extreme one another?
Between that and then don't forget,
at 14 I come into my dad's business,
by the time I'm like 15 and a half
when he still used to even use a half,
it became clear like I was a talent.
Back to the great Kobe Bryant
that you got to do a podcast with.
We're up 20, 30% this year
cause you're in there fricking razzle dazzle people.
So guess what happens?
Now I'm 17 and 18 and 19
and I'm feeling the financial burden.
Right? And now that was so I wanna feeling the financial burden. Right?
And now that was so, I want to be very careful here.
It's not like my father came to me and said,
you need to, absolutely not.
I did that to myself, but it was hardwired early.
And my environment's like my responsibility.
You know, I think a lot of first generation oldest
immigrants that were born in the old country
and their siblings were born here.
Actually, that's really cool.
Anybody who's watching, email me at garyatveinerx
if you're this exact person.
You're an immigrant yourself, you immigrated to America
or any first world country, London, anywhere else,
and you're the only sibling that was born
in the old country, but you have siblings
that were born in the new world.
I think there's something there.
There's something there.
I felt half parent my whole life.
AJ, who you know well,
I mean,
minimum I feel 50% dad, 50%.
Of course he's 11 years younger than me.
So you're 18 and he's seven,
and forget about the 11 years,
like I just told you earlier,
I felt that way towards my sister
who's only three and a half years younger.
There was just something like you're the,
and again, I think back,
this is where I'll say something very important right now,
I believe.
I think we judge our parents too much.
Yeah, of course.
Like I don't sit here and say, mom.
Like, you know, I think people really dwell too much.
I understand.
My mom lost her mom at five.
And then her dad went to jail for 10 years
in the Soviet Union,
because every entrepreneur did.
And so her and her brother were the world.
So she made, I mean,
Bratin Sistra, Sheyna Galava,
was like propaganda into my head
of like my relationship with my sister.
But it's hard when you're eight to think that way,
to not think, your parents should be trying to protect you
and educate you and elevate you.
But there is no should.
I get it.
You wanna have a real moment in this podcast?
Everybody, I'm looking at all the cameras right now.
There is no should.
That's the biggest thing, right?
Because then we could say, your parents should do this.
And then I'll tell you the biggest pandemic
in the world right now, which is 22 to 30 year olds
who are really struggling with standing on their own two feet
because their parents went too far to what you just said.
Right?
And they took care of them too much.
Too much.
So this purple, by the way, look at these two books.
This is purple for a specific reason.
I'm not a Lakers fan.
And meet me in the middle.
What I can tell you has become very clear to me
is I believe that the world desperately needs
to figure out how to fall in love with purple,
not red or blue.
Because they both have major valid points
and they both have major flaws.
And the middle, especially parenting.
One of the reasons I started V Friends is
I knew what was happening with Gary V.
You know this, we run enough similar circles.
I've been very blessed that because of where I was,
I was then able to be, what my mom and my circumstance
in a lot of ways did for me,
I've been able to do for a lot of people, right?
It feels nice.
You get it too.
It feels nice for people to say,
hey, you've really helped me.
For me, children, you get in that early.
It's one thing if I meet you in 2009 in St. Louis
and could be a positive deposit.
You've been built though.
There's a lot of there.
You had to do a lot of your work.
I had, I couldn't do, I can't do that as an outside,
outside motivation or inspiration or perspective.
But when you get in early, so for example, in V Friends,
there's a character called Accountable Ant.
I'm obsessed with this character.
I believe that if I can make that character cool,
like Pikachu or Spider-Man, right?
That if you're a kid that falls in love with the cartoons
I'm gonna put out, or the kids books,
or the video games, and you're like,
I f*** with accountable ants, that's my guy, right?
I am accountable for everything in my life.
Think about what happens.
If you love Spider-Man, or you love Wolverine,
or you love Pikachu, you're subconsciously
getting in virtues of that.
Or you envy it because you don't have it.
If all of a sudden an accountable ant is your guy
and you're wearing hoodies with it,
it kind of gets hard if you're like,
I with accountable ant, to not be accountable.
Or at least strive to it.
Or at least even know the existence.
There's many people watching, listening,
that don't even realize that they live in a full dwelling,
complaining, blaming framework.
I've had many friends, relatives, and relationships,
acquaintances, and business partners,
because my parents too far went with no complaining,
which meant keeping things in, right?
But as you can imagine, if you're visceral to complaining,
you smell it from a mile away. And then if you're really visceral to to complaining, you smell it from a mile away.
And then if you're really visceral to it
and you smell it from a mile away,
well you're aware that someone's constantly dwelling
and blaming.
And so to me, like what was most fascinating
in my 30s and 40s as I've gone through this journey
is they don't see it.
Which led me to the great breakthrough of candor.
Louis, I didn't know when we met that that was my kryptonite.
I thought it was my strength.
How about that?
Because you're being honest online and you're being honest on stage.
I mean, or no, because I because in I didn't even realize that the economy of that.
I just thought I was being nice.
I was like, look what I'm doing for Sally two more years of payroll when she sucks.
What I'm doing for Ricky, right? This of payroll when she sucks? Look what I'm doing for Ricky.
This guy blows, he'll never be okay out there.
There was probably a mix of little ego,
like jump on my shoulders, I'll be Superman,
which is why I'm using the kryptonite example.
But there was also, I thought it was being good.
Life's hard lessons.
I had to wake up in my mid-40s and go,
why is anyone that's ever worked for me not like me?
Because you know you'd read a tweet and be like,
Gary, I'd be like, fuck, how's that possible?
So nice to Johnny.
I had to really do that work.
Why do you think people maybe don't like you?
Well, people in the outside world who don't know me
don't like me.
The reason they wouldn't like it is because
either my communication style isn't their jam,
which I understand.
Like when you're aggressive and confident
and competitive and Jersey and like my schtick
in their mind, like it doesn't work for them.
I understand that.
Some people more chill like, you know,
like the reason people don't like,
I love to live in New York City.
Some people come and get me the out of here on that.
Right? It's too much.
That I respect.
Number two.
The people that know you or work for you or.
Yeah, let me finish this.
I think because I think this will help people.
Because what I'm really trying to do in this
is not say it about me.
I'm hoping that people can start having
a better relationship with people
not liking them that don't know them.
That's good.
So number two, it's their own.
They want to be a successful entrepreneur
and I'm triggering affirmation of they're not there yet
and they're like, you'll fuck this guy.
Three, they've overly put me on a pedestal
and then I do something that they don't agree with
and it fucks them up,
which is very flattering but very understanding.
But it's all wrapped up in who they are with themselves.
On the version of people that do know me,
the only thing, the black and white thing they are with themselves. On the version of people that do know me,
the only thing, the black and white thing,
was the inability, it's only the people closest
that didn't get the candor that I actually ironically
liked the most.
Now what's been nice, you know what got me away with it
for a long time, was people's own accountability.
Why I was getting away with it in my own mind
to my own self was people would hit me up
three, four years later with emails like I'm sorry.
Cause they had gone through, look, if you're like,
if you're a C player, you're good with me.
Cause I think you need all kinds.
It was D and F.
So you could imagine, and that was a subjective opinion,
whether I'm right or wrong.
As you can imagine, it's not like I'm bad at it,
I've been doing it my whole life.
So a lot of those people really were D-ing, F-ing it.
And they through their own work on themselves,
actually were able to go back and actually see a lot of the,
they were able to see so many of the nice things
I was doing, even though I was sloppy on the candor
and on the firing.
Kind of like when you get older
and you look back at your parents.
You blame your parents as a kid,
oh they didn't give me this, they didn't do this,
but then I know they were just doing the best they could
or they really tried hard here
and they were giving me so much here, they sacrificed you.
Especially if you become a parent yourself.
Of course.
Then you're like, oh.
I get it, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Of course, I get it.
It's almost like the way I think about athletes,
like boo, you suck, I'm like, you go out there.
You go try that, yeah, yeah. Shaq, get the fuck out of here.
I mean, speaking about this topic,
I mean, just start with, you know,
still kind of with this first question,
is this sustainable?
What you just said right here,
I think is one of the biggest things
that holds people back,
whether that's creating content online,
starting a business,
or putting themselves out there in any endeavor, is people care so much
what other people think about them.
How do people overcome the opinions and judgments
of others with their craft, business or art?
Therapy, positive consumption, new friends, exercise,
new friends, exercise, psychedelics,
true work that is starting with do you understand
that that's what is actually happening?
I believe that that is a blind spot to everyone. They don't realize why they wear designer clothes.
For so many people it's attracting the opposite sex
because they're looking for that closing of the gap of love.
Right?
So of course alpha guys like I gotta get a,
think about all the trends we see, right?
Like these girls won't like me if I'm not rich, right?
Like, but it's all like deeper than that.
That's the surface level like pizzazz.
It's like they're looking for love.
And love is important as fuck.
And so because they're looking for that,
they believe they need the proxies to get it
without realizing that's often gonna attract
not the clean version of love you're actually looking for.
It's a whole, it's funny, I said something to Nick,
one of my key executives at VaynerMedia,
he came from a Saatchi and Saatchi,
a very classic, you know, madman era, right?
And about six months in, I could see he had it and all this.
And then he was like doing a bunch of stuff,
and I kind of recognized what was happening,
and I sat him down and I said, Nick,
I want you for the next year in this company if you want to grow, do the opposite
of everything you intuitively think you want to do.
What was he doing?
He went to like, for example, at Vayner,
when I try to teach people,
talk about the irony about what I'm saying.
So it's-
Be candid, be candid.
Give me your hand.
This is so crazy.
I launched, you know Dustin,
we just launched something called Elephant Meetings.
Let's get the elephant out of the room.
That's good.
It's saving our company, bro.
And when I say saving,
our retention is gonna explode because of this.
So what he and every advertising person,
I'm laughing right now
because I know every single ad agency,
marketing agency, social media agency person
is about to smile.
Whether they consciously or subconsciously do it,
everything is based on save the customer.
Which means you're just eating,
you're just yessing them to death
even though they're wrong.
I'll give you an example of social media.
Louis, I want you to post on my space,
that's where we need to be.
And you're like, yes sir, Gary, we will.
And you know that's not what you should do today.
And so just like classic stuff,
or like putting a television commercial on a pedestal
versus a social media post, which is my whole thesis.
So there was just a lot of stuff.
It was coming with a lot of baggage.
Anyway, I know he's gonna smile right now
because I know it's been a big factor in his life
and it's kind of what I wanna say to everyone right now.
It's almost like if you're not happy
as you're listening right now,
if you're anxious, if you feel a lot of pressure,
the answer is ironically, you have to start doing
the opposite of everything you naturally wanna do.
So right, so you naturally wanna be at night
dealing with this and you're all stressed.
So what you wanna naturally do
is go grab another bottle of vodka.
What you're supposed to do is not do that
and wake up tomorrow morning and go to the gym.
Like, you know, like I do think the other thing is
let's talk about, people like to say
the toxic people around you,
I'm gonna give you a different one.
What about the enablers? Right. What about the people like to say the toxic people around you. I'm gonna give you a different one. What about the enablers?
Right.
What about the people like your mom or dad
or brother and sister or best friends
who are letting you get away with your bad behavior
because they have my flaw.
They don't have candor.
So what people understand is like.
They're not gonna give you tough love
or tough communication or just challenging communication.
It's really crazy, right?
Like, it's like in my real life,
in the Gary Vee part of it,
all the admiration comes from like,
you're the one that told me like, shut the fuck up.
Right?
But in real life. To the public, right?
Right, but in real life, I'm very fortunate.
I have a pretty stable, epic family situation
where there's like, we don't have any
off the reservation family members, but like,
friends and stuff like that.
I was taught and it's ingrained in me to be the superhero.
I wanna fix.
But that's what gets parents in a bad place
of paying for their kids and all that.
So these are complicated things, but I would say to people,
pay attention to your circle,
cause it's everything.
You know, it's a cliche,
it's not like I'm inventing a saying.
The five people you're around,
you know, all that, it's real.
It's real, I really watched that,
and I'm like, that's real life stuff.
How worried are you for Gen Z?
Not at all.
You're not worried?
No, I'll explain why.
Because there's unlimited entitled lazy boomers.
Now, do I think that stereotypes have merit in them?
Of course, that's how they happen.
So like, do I think that the circumstances
of parents over coddling as a generational truth,
eighth place trophies as a generational truth,
and then COVID where the government paid you
more money to stay home, do I think it's created
entitlement and some vulnerabilities?
I do, and I get it.
Like if you've been over coddled, you're scared to lose.
We were laughing a little bit before
about our famous Stump Wrestling match
where you destroyed me on Summit at Sea.
I viewed that as like fun.
Like literally every time I see you,
my chemicals go in a good way of like,
that dude, I gotta get him.
That's a good thing, not like, I'm a loser,
he's better than me.
You know?
And I just, I think, I'm not worried about it
because I know too many,
I think about my company, we have a lot, right?
We have both full extremes.
There are people walking around currently in my company
who are out of their mind expectation wise.
Like literally like if they could say it,
they want me to like come to their house, pick them up,
walk them to like, you know what I mean?
Like, yeah, there's just like a lot of expectations.
We've demonized companies.
You know, the problem for companies is
they're not governments or schools or your parents.
Governments, schools or your parents
don't have merit with you.
Meaning, a company, if it runs out of money, it closes.
It can't pay you.
It's over.
And you know, your parents,
like they'll constantly run up their own credit card
for you if they're those kind of parents.
The government is full of and print money in perpetuity.
Just print more money.
And by the way, if I could print money,
I'd give.
And schools, that's fake-o land.
You're talking to somebody who, this is real now.
In that famous four years of high school,
never opened a book once, never did one piece of homework,
never, never spent one minute studying for a test.
How'd you pass?
I figured out somewhere around freshman year
that the school was going for blue ribbon status
and they needed everyone to pass.
Wow, they were just enabling people to get through.
Wow.
I was like, good, this works for me
and I'm an entrepreneur.
Yeah, we go hustle on the weekends.
I also knew that I was gonna be like such a workaholic that I was like, let, this works for me and I'm an entrepreneur one day. I also knew that I was gonna be such a workaholic
that I was like, let me take these last couple years
of enjoyment and get some, bank up some rest.
And so this goes back to being weird.
I have a lot of weird dynamics now
that I realize the world.
Because before it, I lived in my own life,
in my own family, in my own neighborhood with no internet.
I didn't know that my life was weird.
You know, and so anyway, and then I've got Gen Zers
who are 20 year olds you and me.
Fire coming out of their work.
Yeah.
Like, you know, and it's not because they eat spicy food
because they're just like, I'm gonna,
like look me dead in the face and saying,
I'm gonna run this whole company one day
and I'm like, let's go, Sally, let's go.
So what would you say to someone in their 20s
who maybe wants to accomplish a lot
and maybe didn't have it that hard growing up
and they feel like it's gonna come easily to them?
Force the hard.
Create the struggle.
Why is that necessary?
I said it to a friend, it's crazy.
My friends I grew up with, like in our era, their kids now are 18.
Like, right?
If you had a kid, right?
It's crazy.
So I'm now having the craziest talks like ever.
I'm like, I knew this kid when he was two and I'm talking to him now like my audience.
And I tell a lot of these kids and a lot of them, especially the ones I was close with
and we did a lot of business, some of these parents really made money.
You know, like those early Facebook and Twitter,
and like, you know, like, then surely,
so these kids are bougie.
Right.
They weren't back closing you.
I told, hell yes.
Yeah.
Though this gap would be fresh.
That's pretty money.
Richard, good.
I tell them like, yo bro,
I had a very, very real conversation two weeks ago.
I said bro, I said you got two choices here.
You take mommy and daddy's money and create some sort
of fake picture and all the real ones know
so you're not tricking winners and you're tricking 98%
of the losing players and you can live that life
and many do.
That's the easy way.
Or if you're telling me,
because the kid had good words coming out of his mouth,
I'm like, if you mean it,
well then you need to go work at a company
and work your ass off.
And learn, yeah.
And you need to eat,
and you need to get three roommates
instead of your own place,
and you need to,
if you do not take their money,
then you can do it.
So if you were fully taken care of your whole life,
you were allowed to say mom, dad, no.
You're allowed.
The problem is too many people like to talk out of both
sides of their mouth.
They want to shit on mom and dad,
but they want the unlimited credit card.
They like that they bought them an apartment.
How are you teaching your kids about life and-
I'm doing it right now.
My kids can watch this.
They're going to watch it, right?
Think about this, no kid listens to their parents.
So like me and my friends who like think about thoughtful,
we all laugh.
They're like, can you talk to my kids?
I'm like, yeah, but can you talk to-
If your kids want to see you.
My kids are like, you Gary talk to my kids? I'm like, yeah, but can you talk to them? My kids are like, fuck you, Gary Vee.
They really don't.
I'm very fortunate, but no, no,
in the way that I'm saying it, they're fully saying it.
They're like, Dad, it's Dad.
They didn't find me on the For You page
and be like, who's this cool guy?
They're like, no way, bro, I'm not listening to you
and I'm smart enough, I don't know if it's a smart story,
I'm aware enough to know I'm not listening to you and I'm smart enough, I don't know if smart's the right word, I'm aware enough to know like I'm not gonna be,
listen, I'm dad and every dad and mom
have obnoxious impact on their kid.
But I'm gonna be dad to them,
which means an outside voice,
like I'm able to be a contributor to so many,
I can't be that for my kids,
because I'm the main thing.
So other people have to be contributors. But it's cool because I understand it, that for my kids, because I'm the main thing. So other people have to be contributors.
But it's cool because I understand it.
I'm pretty fortunate.
I know a lot of people that I think
are really positive contributors to the conversation,
and I can't wait.
Just like my friends now are like,
the last four years have been phenomenal,
especially five years because of TikTok,
because it even started a little bit earlier.
There isn't a week that doesn't go by
that a business acquaintance all the way,
you know, that's over here to you,
to the inner circle, right?
That my social graph, that I won't get a text and be like,
and like, it's so funny because it's happening so common,
it always the same thing.
You'll never believe this.
And at first I didn't know what it was,
and then a couple years in I was like, what?
But I knew and I would smile,
but now I reply immediately.
I'm like, your kids follow me on TikTok
and they think I'm cool.
They're like, how'd you know?
I'm like, you know, I'm like,
that's how day training attention works.
But you know, it's really, really cool.
I can't wait for my son, who's 11,
in like four years, really cool, I can't wait for my son, who's 11, in like four years, six years, texts me like, Dad, do you know who Lewis Howes is?
Or Dad, how do you know Lewis Howes?
Or Dad, you've known him since,
taking a picture of us at World Cost Plus Market
or wherever we've been, right?
That's gonna be interesting, but I'm aware that I'm Dad,
so I'm trying to give them all the shit I believe in.
But I know it's a different version than what Gary Vee is
because they're gonna have supplement, complement voices
to their world, and it'll be interesting
to see what they gravitate towards.
They may be like many kids,
they may gravitate away from my message.
They may reject it for awhile.
They may be like, purple, I wanna be extreme blue
or extreme red, bang bang.
Wow. And I think, notice how I'm be extreme blue or extreme red, bang bang. Wow.
And I think, notice how I'm saying that.
I'm not scared of that.
When you love, when you try, when you have intent,
when you're ready for it, it's like a game,
it's like business, I'm ready for the trials
and tribulation of fatherhood.
I'm ready for the trials and tribulation of a human being.
I anticipate heartbreak.
I anticipate my parents passing away,
because it will happen.
It would be very good for my parents to pass away
before I pass away.
Mainly because I wouldn't want that for them.
Right?
So like, I mean like, you know,
but those things don't cripple me.
Those things, I actually are the enhancer
of me enjoying a day like this.
It is a good day.
Everybody I love is good.
You know what I mean?
What does cripple you?
Not much brother.
I think the thing that cripples me is
I haven't had the extreme heartbreak
of losing a family member that's within my inner six or seven.
That scares the shit out of me.
Yeah, it's tough.
I couldn't comprehend losing a sibling, a parent,
a niece, a nephew, a child.
I'm not ready for that game.
My heart cries deeply for every human
that has ever had to taste the sorrow of losing a child.
Yeah.
And then for the people that are lucky, like me,
who are deeply grateful and love with their parents,
that's also a crusher, right?
Again, now I'm 48, I have so many 60, 70 year old friends.
Like, it's really fascinating, you can see it.
I mean, I have friends who I can see it on their face.
They genuinely, not that they want their mom or dad to die,
but that relationship is so not good
that there's a part of them that's a cleansing.
And like they kind of-
Like a freeing of, yeah.
They kind of, like, you know,
they definitely don't think about it the way I do,
which is like, please God,
don't let it happen for another 40 years.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, of course.
So, you know, that's important to me.
But I keep life very basic.
I keep it very binary.
It's...
I mean, you say that, but from the outside,
people see that you have, you know, 2,000 employees.
You've got, I don't know, 100 bazillion
social media followers.
You've got a thousand pieces of content
going out every day.
And V-Friends and the pickleball team.
All this stuff. You've got all of these different, you invest in day. And VaynerSports and VFriends and the pickleball team. All these things, speaker community, all this stuff.
You've got all of these different,
you invest in, I don't know, a million different companies.
You've got thousands of relationships
that are constantly texting you.
That's because people don't understand
the root cause of why that's happening.
The root cause is because it's simple.
Really?
Sure.
I'll explain.
How do you navigate all of these businesses,
relationships, content, health, relationship?
How much do you bench?
I mean, I can, well, I recently did 225 11 times.
Okay, I cannot do that.
How did you do that?
Two things, you were physically gifted in your birth
and then you put in work.
And I trained.
And I have a funny feeling, am I wrong?
You've benched more at certain parts of your life,
right?
How much did you do at the most?
15 times, maybe 225.
Great, so why 15 that time and 11 this time?
You'd put in more work.
I'm building it back up.
Right, exactly, this is where I'm going.
You have put in more work.
How am I able to do this?
I was gifted in being a purebred entrepreneur,
which means I want to do a lot of different things.
Purebred.
There are not a lot of people who never opened up a book,
even the worst of the worst.
I'm telling you,
because I was selling baseball.
Come home, put the book down,
start pricing my baseball cards for the card show.
And then the next year, it was my dad's world.
Come home and read the,
wasn't that I wasn't working?
What did I do on Wednesday, October 9th, 1991
when I got home?
I went into my room, put on Sports Center,
and got the latest issue of the Wine Spectator and read it.
Or Beckett or whatever it was back then.
Beckett was 90 and then it started to be 91
and then it started being Wine Spectator.
It wasn't complicated.
I was going deep.
And so, you know, how do I do it?
It's because-
How do you navigate and manage all of it?
By not being scared to drop it.
That's the key.
Because I have 43 balls up, I'm gonna have 17 fall.
I think we live in a world back to insecurity and confidence
where people have one ball
and they're petrified for it to fall.
I have 43 and 17 fall. and I don't care if somebody,
let's pick a business, VaynerSpeakers, our speaking bureau.
If there's a press release that says,
VaynerX is shutting down VaynerSpeakers,
I like a logical human like anybody else would be like,
oh, they couldn't pull it off.
It didn't work.
Gary couldn't do it.
It didn't go good.
That's a loss.
That's right.
I just don't know how to be concerned
with Louis and Dustin and everybody right now
reading that and saying Gary's not,
what are you gonna say?
Gary's not as good as he thinks?
I don't think.
Have you never been concerned about
what people think about you with a loss
or a challenging time? Not a loss or a challenging time?
Not a loss or a challenging time.
Really?
The reason I've spent so much time trying to figure out
candor is I really care.
Let's use Max Bass, great former employee.
I love him.
We just want to give him a shout out.
Plus I'm looking at this purple and yellow.
He's a big Lakers fan and he's in that line.
So it's probably the way it came to mind.
I care if Max Bass thinks I'm a good dude.
Spent too much time with him. The quality of me as a human came to mind. I care if Max Bass thinks I'm a good dude. Spent too much time with him.
The quality of me as a human matters to me,
not as me as a businessman.
I'm aware that I love it.
I love being an entrepreneur.
I'm famously an entrepreneur.
I was one of the entrepreneurs that happened to be in place
when it became the thing.
But it is not how I fucking think about myself.
It's what I do.
It's my favorite game. It is my passion. It's not how I fucking think about myself. It's what I do, it's my favorite game,
it is my passion, it's not who I am.
So it's made it very easy.
Plus I'm very fucking, you know,
I'm very like happy go lucky, but I'm competitive.
Meaning like, let's say a coconut hit your head
and you became a totally different kind of guy,
and let's keep playing that scenario.
VaynerSpeaker shuts down and you text me,
ha ha ha bro, you thought you could do everything?
I'd be like, bro, you lost too.
Like that's the other gear I have.
First, I'm empathetic, which is like,
you must not be in a good place
if you wanna kick me when I'm down.
And then second, I'm like, you.
That's the other thing that I don't understand
what these people are doing.
As if any human on Earth today
hasn't fucked up multiple parts of their life.
Maybe they're not a good dad, maybe they're not a good mom,
maybe they're not a good employee,
maybe they're a bad sister,
maybe they're not good to their mother,
maybe they're bad at driving,
maybe they don't know how to cook,
maybe they're 400 pounds overweight
because they don't have a good relationship.
But like, as if anyone on earth is perfect.
Is perfect.
I mean, this is insane to me.
When you see people getting attacked.
Do you know how many things Michael Jordan
is not good at?
Even things Tom Brady is not good at.
You can be the greatest at something
and suck at something else.
I can write six New York Times bestselling books,
but I'm aware based on the last three days
that I'm not in the top four million people
that should be reading an audio book.
Now, everybody will love it,
and this is why I do it because I get the feedback
because they want it to be me,
and I go off script and I add stuff,
but the skill of reading, I blow.
That's why I was a bad student in hindsight.
I didn't know what the fuck was going on.
I was like, yes.
And that's why I was good at history.
The only reason, the only class I did well at was history
is because I listened during class.
My audio was tough.
Oh, Schenkeis check.
You know what I mean?
Oh, that's what Germany did?
Oh, that's who the president was?
Oh, Walter Mondale lost every state but won to Reagan?
That's why I know that, because I listened.
When people criticize you for being too busy
or doing too many entrepreneurial things,
and they have no clue about your personal life,
but they'll criticize you,
oh, he's probably not showing up for his kids
or he's not there for his relationships
or whatever it might be.
How do you navigate that conversation
when people say, oh, he's just a business guy,
but he's really not good at family,
intimate relationships, personal life?
I mean, if my mom said that, then I'd be like,
let's have this conversation.
If Johnny Pants 49 in the comment section says it,
I'm like, Johnny Pants, I don't know you.
Usually it's a direct reflection of their own anxiety.
Louis, think about this.
Could you imagine taking time to going
to somebody else's account?
Criticizing them.
To try to make them feel bad?
No, no.
I don't like, you know,
I'm trying to change some words in society.
Let's say criticizing out.
It sounds like classic.
No, no, no.
You are going to some,
I wanna go back to first grade talk.
To try to pull them down.
You're trying to make someone feel bad.
Yeah, shame them.
You're trying to make someone feel bad.
I don't know, man, like I just don't have that gear.
Yeah.
And I don't judge those people either.
My lack of judgment against haters, trolls, negative people
is a very big power.
How do you not take that personally
when so many people do that?
They don't know me.
Yeah.
It's honestly, brother, it's logical.
It's actually very logical.
I would have to think you care more about
what I think about you than someone you've never met
because we've interacted 31 times.
It would just be logical.
Yeah, I had to learn this probably the hard way
for many years, really until the last five years
when it started to be like, okay,
when people are saying nasty things about me online
or leaving a nasty comment or whatever it is,
I can literally take it as a neutral information
and not take it personally anymore.
But it took me a decade of being in this world.
Look, brother, I'm not a robot.
It's not like, you know, especially,
like I'll give you a big one.
The proudest thing I have in my life professionally
is that I sacrificed the first 12 full years of my career
to build a business for my mom and dad.
It is the single thing I'm proudest of.
It has also been the thing historically
that people weaponize against me.
Don't listen to him,
because they don't know my story.
You know what, on a TikTok, he inherited a winery.
Okay, first of all, it was a liquor store in New Jersey.
I didn't inherit. I'm one of the few people on earth
that was the direct correlation for massive growth
for their family and extracted no financial value.
I'm the opposite of what you think
you're weaponizing against me.
But you're weaponizing that against me.
It's all just logic.
You're saying that because what I'm saying
in this video is hard.
I'm saying, you you stop blaming the government,
the school system, your parents.
And what about you?
You're a grown ass kid now.
You're 26, what the fuck are you crying about?
You don't like it, put in the work.
You've got unlimited people to look up to.
You're talking about over five years putting in the work.
I'm sitting here saying, man, I'm still working on,
I'm not even, I'm not even like,
I'm, I, 4.7 is what I scored me.
And I'm, and think about it, I'm grading my own homework,
which means it's really a 3.2.
Like, like why are you not capable of being accountable?
Or like, we all, like you eventually have to man
and woman up, no matter how toxic.
Like there are, when people say to me,
well, but my dad, I'm like, bro,
there are people who had their uncles abduct them.
There are people who watched their parents
drive out of the driveway and get hit by a truck
and get killed.
There are so much extreme.
Like as if your circumstance is the single worst one,
we both are very active in a charity
that is trying to help 800 million people.
I'm sorry about that.
When I was going for a fact.
Brother, 800 million people on earth
did not have access to what I just dumped. You and I spend real time on that.
800 million people can't get clean water
within a day right now on Earth.
And you're telling me your mom hurt your feelings?
I get it, that's real,
but you're not capable of being accountable
and saying, you know what? I'm gonna be the one that fixes it.
How many, I met a man, I'm recalling now,
had drinks the other day, gentleman who said,
I was the one that broke the pattern of alcoholism
in my family, my great grandfather, my grandfather,
my father, and I said, no.
And everything was there for me to do it.
I was on the streets at 13, I started to go down it,
and I was like, no, so why him?
He's not special, I'm not special, you're not special.
We have talents.
The thing I love about what you're doing
with Meet Me in the Middle is you're teaching,
I mean adults, anyone, kids, but adults as well,
emotional accountability.
You're teaching emotional intelligence,
you're teaching skills that can be applied
towards day trading and content and business
and just navigating the business world.
High, low, right?
Exactly.
If I can get you right here.
Like if you read this as a kid,
like the amount of people that are gonna-
This is easy then.
Bro, the amount of, when I amount of, you know me pretty well.
I know that this book is gonna slay,
cause I'm straight up feeding you,
like here's the medicine.
Like I was bored reading my book.
Right Dustin?
Like the first half, cause it's so detailed.
It's like.
Step by step, do this, edit, add this,
and then do this.
And Jab, Jab, Jab, Right Hook did really well,
and I was like okay, cause they get so much top level for me every day on social.
Let me in book form give them something that they get,
like right?
Yeah.
I know this will crush.
Here's the problem too, where you're about to go.
If they don't have their together,
they're gonna start, it's double screwed.
It's gonna start working a little bit
and then they're gonna get Johnny Pants saying,
you and they're gonna be like,
so it doesn't even matter.
That's why I need yin and yang.
Yeah, that's why I had all the drive for most of my life.
I was like, I need to be successful.
I'm gonna get better in sports.
I was willing to put in the work
and do whatever it took to win, right?
And that helped me become accomplished,
but it left me feeling insecure, alone,
and still not enough inside.
No matter
how much I had, how many accomplishments or success or accolades or whatever it might
be, or people telling me, followers, it didn't make me feel loved. It didn't bring me peace.
That's what I was telling you before. You were like, what's different in your life right
now? And I said, I feel peace. I feel abundant. I feel grateful. I feel blessed. And I feel
loved.
That's good. I feel abundant, I feel grateful, I feel blessed, and I feel loved.
And it wasn't because I've accomplished more, it's because I went inside and I started really
connecting with my heart, my emotions, childhood stuff, and just allowing myself the time and
space to heal.
And that's been the hardest work.
That has been harder than building business and doing the podcast for 11 years every week
and all these different things.
But actually looking at the insecurities in front of me from as far back as I could go,
looking at my younger self in front of me and developing a new relationship with self.
Brother, it's everything.
And it's given me peace with the ups and downs.
You know, it's just given me a different perspective
of gratitude.
I've always been grateful, but this
has given me more gratitude towards everything.
And I want to share the skill that I think
has really helped me, the thing that I've
had to learn that I didn't have for most of my life
that has really given me this perspective in a moment.
But I want to ask you with Meet Me in the Middle, if you could only give people three
talents that they should work on, focus on, develop, that is going to help them in this,
it's going to help them with relationships, health, everything.
You've got a lot of different things
with Meet Me in the Middle.
A lot of different characters and archetypes
and identities that people can build into.
Three emotional skills that people can master
in their 20s, 30s and beyond.
What would those three things be?
I'll tell them in V-Friends forms.
People that don't know, there's 250 plus,
I think it's 283 V Friends,
and they're named as alliterations of things I believe in.
So this book is Patient Pig and Eager Eagle.
So you can imagine how they can meet in the middle, right?
To answer your question directly,
I will start first with self-aware hair.
Self-awareness.
And self-awareness becomes the gateway drug to self-love.
Once you can see it in yourself,
I didn't see the lack of candor.
And my superpower is self-awareness.
This is why I was so good.
I was like, I'm this, but I'm not this.
And I'm this, and I'm not this.
And I didn't envy or have jealousy towards that I wasn't 6'3".
I wish I was.
I wanted to play for the Jets
instead of own them one day, right?
But it didn't happen.
And I wish I was like, could sing,
cause I wanna be a backstreet boy.
That seemed fun, but I didn't have that.
And it was never like, I got really,
so self-awareness was really, really strong
and I think it would help a lot of people.
It's okay to be what you are,
but do you even know what you are?
How do you know what you are in development?
Do you know that you're tenacious?
Do you know that you're competitive?
And I think you need to double down on those things,
not smooth them out, or what a lot of people do,
over obsess of what you're not.
You need to tweak things.
Anyway, so self-awareness.
How do you develop more self-awareness?
I'll go into that in a minute
because I've thought about that a lot.
I actually think it's about communication
around your inner circle to let them feel safe
to tell you the truth.
Wow.
It's a wild one.
Like tell me what?
Tell me like what my strengths are, what my weaknesses are. I'm gonna give it to you right now It's safe to tell you the truth. Wow. It's a wild one. Like tell me what?
Tell me like.
If you're listening right now.
What my strengths are, what my weaknesses are.
I'm gonna give it to you right now.
Cause I just can feel the listener on the other side.
Hey everyone, real talk.
If you're like, oh, this is hitting me.
I've got a big one for you.
Cause I said this in my last book
and I've got a lot of reach out on this.
Just pick the two or three people.
Probably your sister and your brother.
Probably your mom or dad,
definitely your best friend,
definitely your best friend.
And maybe like an epic person you work with,
like your favorite boss ever or current.
And literally invite them to a dinner.
Literally, I'm not joking.
And say, this is gonna be a weird fun dinner.
I'll surprise you when we get there
because you don't want them to overthink.
When you get there, you're gonna say,
you'll never believe this.
I was listening to Louis's podcast, Gary Vee was on.
I'm really not joking.
This is a very important part of this little narrative
that thing that I'm telling you.
You're gonna say to them, it's unlikely you'll be able
to deliver on what I'm about to ask right this second.
But if you're wondering why my best friend's here
and my boss that none of you have ever met
and my sister and my aunt are here, let me tell you why.
I'll bring them all together in one.
Yes. Wow.
Because what you wanna do is suffocate.
It's kind of like posting your weight on the internet
and like you wanna suffocate yourself.
Correct.
You're saying I wanna be more self-aware.
I need all of you to tell me the full truth.
All of you are the people I deem
that I think love me the most,
which means it's gonna be hard for you to say,
but I'm bringing you all together to say,
what I need is this.
And you don't have to do it now,
because boss, you might feel weird saying it
in front of my mom the first time you've ever met her.
But I need it ASAP.
Tomorrow's fine one-on-one.
And every family and-
And things will open up
as people start going. Yeah, every circle's
gonna be different. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Every circle's gonna be different.
This is like almost creating a self-intervention.
Correct.
Most people aren't willing to do this.
Correct.
Again, I think three to 11 people listening right now,
and I know a lot of people are gonna listen
between both of our platforms.
I think only three to 11 people are gonna do this.
I just-
And they should send us a message after they do.
It's gonna be amazing.
And so that would be how you find self-awareness
because someone's gonna, like, if I hadn't done that,
either my mom who struggles with it as well,
my dad who recognizes it,
Brandon Warnocky, my best friend who runs Wine Library
and Wine Text, also struggles with it
so he might have not even been able to say it.
My brother might have been able to come through.
My sister now would have been able to see it
more than 10 years, but if I had done it,
somebody in that circle might have been like,
you're too full of, you're too nice.
Somebody might have, if I did what I'm saying here,
which is like, say it, it's okay.
I know you don't believe me, and you're even, and I was very, I was a I'm saying here, which is like, say it. It's okay, I know you don't believe me.
And you're even, and I was very,
I was a challenge for people always
because I was always providing so much emotional
and financial value.
I'm a real piece of work for most people
because it is very common for me to be either
and often both the emotional and financial value
in the relationship. They don't financial value in the relationship.
They don't want to ruin the relationship.
Of course.
Yeah, yeah.
Like it's, you know, it's a vulnerability for me.
It's my coping mechanism.
I always have the leverage.
You can take care of people, yeah.
I just always have the leverage.
I mean, those are the two things on earth.
Emotional and financial, that's the game.
And I'm good at both and generous with both.
Wow, okay, so that's number one, self-awareness.
Number two, gratitude gorilla.
I think if you can learn,
and this is just killing people on Earth,
you would be flabbergasted what would happen.
And I've seen it with people around me recently
where you just decide right now on this podcast
that instead of waking up in the morning,
which so many people do, being all upset
and having all of their perspective and energy
towards what's not good, I should be making more money.
I don't like my job.
This person I just woke up next to is,
I don't like him anymore.
Like all the tough stuff.
Instead deciding to be like,
I'm glad I woke up and didn't die last night.
Simplicity.
Yeah.
Gratitude comes from simplicity.
Like it's like, you know, back to your point,
like everyone's like, Gary, social media is up, everybody.
They think they need this stuff.
I'm like, do you understand that I grew up watching
lifestyles of the rich and famous?
Like, have you heard of MTV Cribs?
Everybody saw that.
Everyone's showing the over the top.
Pimp my ride.
Like if you had a $400 used car, that felt.
Yes.
This is not a new phenomenon.
Like as if, what, you didn't go to school
and one of the kids was the richest kid in school.
You didn't have envy that they had a brand new BMW
and you had to walk to school.
Get the fuck out of here with envy and jealousy.
It's as old as like time.
So gratitude, what do you have?
Again, I said something to somebody who was complaining
in my inner circle about three, four years ago,
and they were just like, but you, to me,
and then to other stuff, right?
And I finally said, I said, ex-person,
let's bump this dinner, because this is not fun.
Instead of telling me why I have it better,
why, and this is somebody I really know,
why this person has it better, why your older brother has it better, why, and this is somebody I really know, why this person has it better,
why your older brother has it better,
this is the real example,
I'm like, for the next 20 minutes,
while we eat this chicken,
can you please tell me?
Can you please?
Hand it to us perfectly.
You're gonna like this.
I said, can you tell me who you have it better than?
Who?
And it was a really interesting moment,
and I know that person's smiling right now,
and I'll probably get a text.
I think it really had an impact on them.
Because I suffocated it.
They're like, oh, I was like, no, no, just appease me.
We're here.
Who do you have a better than?
And then he went into like all our common people,
which he definitely had a better than.
And then I went into my, and I'm like, okay.
And what about everybody who is in Africa right now
in concentration and the people in China,
like what about real, what about somebody who,
during this dinner, got diagnosed with terminal cancer
and during this dinner, looked down at their phone
real quick and got into a car accident that took their life.
And what about the two 14 year old twin daughters
that lost their mom in that picture I just painted?
Since we've been sitting here,
I just don't understand how people don't understand
what the fuck is going on.
Since you and I have been sitting recording this podcast,
of the eight billion people on earth,
thousands.
Have died.
Have not only died, correct,
but have gotten devastating news.
I saw this stat maybe five years ago
that has given me a completely different perspective
on gratitude, that roughly 150,000 people a day die.
We woke up today, we're not one of them.
And if we can just have that one perspective,
150,000 people a day die. Bro, I live on that, I live not one of them. And if we can just have that one perspective, 150,000 people a day die.
Bro, I live on that, Louis.
And honestly, death is less scary than something,
notice where I went with it.
Sickness.
You said die, and I jumped in with devastating news.
Yes.
Right?
I ask this to myself and I ask it to everyone,
is it better for you to die,
or is it better for the person you love the most on Earth
and can't live without dying?
I think most people are gonna choose themselves
in that scenario.
So there's just a lot going on.
So I just think gratitude.
Number three, and we already talked about it,
but I can't get away from it.
If you can learn that pointing a thumb
will lead to ultimate happiness,
and pointing a finger will compound your unhappiness,
you will realize that accountability is the, I almost have delusional, not even healthy
accountability. That's how much I like it. Like I really do believe what I'm about to
say. Every single thing at VaynerX and VFriends and VaynerSports and every one of my companies
that is a problem is 100% my fault.
I'm at the top.
So if Sally screwed up, well I hired the person
that hired the person that hired the person
that hired Sally.
I did.
So I think that accountability is the anecdote,
it's the formula, it's the formula.
It's the solution.
It's the medicine, and I believe the reason
everyone's talking about a lot of rough stuff right now
is we are in the greatest era of blame in a very long time.
It is everyone's fault but yourself.
And that's because politicians are f***ing up everything,
so it's very easy to be like, either this side.
Parenting has definitely gone awry
where it goes too far one another.
In general, there's tons of great parents.
I just think, you know, we're in a little bit of a pickle.
People lack civility, we're just not nice to each other.
People are just talking so negative.
People being excited about people's downfalls, right?
I mean, I had a real moment on all this stuff very recently
with what happened with Kate Middleton, right?
What happened?
You know, I don't know, I always,
I hate talking about things I don't know,
so I'm gonna go very headline reading.
I guess, you know, recently, like, there was some,
she was missing or something, yeah, yeah, yeah.
She was missing and it was like a cropped-in photo
and everyone had jokes and everyone had jokes.
And then she made a video and said, I have cancer.
And everyone's like, I'm sorry.
What do you mean I'm sorry?
Or I'm embarrassed.
What about not doing it in the first place?
The thing I'm people for.
I just have a very simple question for people.
Explain to me any justification
to shit on another human being.
Yeah, I guess the only thing I could think
they might be thinking is, well,
to hold people accountable if they're doing harm to others.
Who the fuck are you?
Yeah.
I am no, I love when people are like,
I have, humility would have been the next,
as if I'm supposed to, who the are you that you're,
you're supposed to hold Kate Middleton accountable?
Who the fuck do you think you are?
I don't think I'm supposed to hold anybody accountable
at some level, including, including employees, children.
You're part of it.
That's ego, that's delusion.
I'm gonna hold you accountable for what?
That you married into the royal fit,
what the fuck does it matter with you?
And sometimes when people play this chess game with me,
they go, but what if somebody came up on you
and punched you in the face?
My brain goes into, that person's at a really fucked up place.
Before I, you know, like, you know, I don't think people
have a good relationship with understanding
where anger, negativity, and darkness comes from.
It always comes from a place of weakness.
I struggle to be mad at someone
when my first default thought is to have compassion for them.
Yeah, that's a superpower.
It's a blessing.
I see it in my mom.
I know she gave me that DNA
and then she obviously fostered it.
But it is how I see the world
and I really wish the rest of the world saw it that way too.
Wow.
Because I will tell you what happens with that.
You don't have the capacity to hate someone
for being different than you.
Right, right.
When that happens.
It doesn't mean you have to allow it
to continue to happen.
No, well this is,
create boundaries, you know what I mean?
Yeah, this is where I love you for that.
I just feel super in charge.
Well Gary, what if,
I'm like, well then I can stop talking to them.
Well what if it's your mom?
You can stop talking to your mom.
I don't recommend it.
I'd rather you go to therapy, push,
I'd rather something, they're being cooked,
but you are fully in charge.
Gary, everything's, I had this dinner the other night.
God, a lot of dinners as you can hear.
But I just wanna be respectful of your time too.
No worries, but I'm getting hyper right now.
This guy's like, everything's up in America.
I finally looked at him, I said, move.
Mm-hmm, quit blaming.
Move.
Yeah.
You like Canada?
Right.
Epic, Mexico, epic.
I don't know, Sweden sounds nice.
Spain's lovely this time of year.
I don't, shut the up.
And I'm not saying that negatively.
I'm saying that encouragingly.
Dwelling and complaining and envy and jealousy
are massive weaknesses.
I go on Twitter and I look at all of this
and I'm like insecure, insecure, insecure, insecure,
insecure, insecure, insecure, and left, right, left, right.
Insecure, insecure, insecure, insecure, insecure,
bad place, bad place, bad place, bad place.
And I'm not with judgment, with deep hope
that I and many others that are in a good place
can figure out the single word to say,
that do the single podcast, write the single book,
post a single quote that might help one of those people
say, fuck it.
Because for me, what has definitely made me successful
and was a kissing cousin to my inability to be candorous
is I care about positivity.
I don't do well in negativity.
And so I have this yearning to do it for the world
because I'm already full.
It's like back to the cup.
Okay, my cup is full.
Well, when you're lucky,
and I think you're going through this journey right now,
so this is gonna be really understandable to you,
I'm good.
So what do you do next?
Help others.
It's just, you don't know what to do with it.
It's the only thing that makes you feel good
because you don't need any more water.
Your water's full.
You don't have room.
I'm good.
Now, I'm gonna end with this.
Multiple times a day, I have micro moments of like,
ooh, but they don't have sustainability.
Got it?
You catch it and you move on.
We lost two big clients yesterday, one in Asia,
one in, there's a lot of work to be done.
But like, I'm not like, I'm dead, you know, like,
or like, you know, like, like there's always something.
Two books you got going on, Meet Me in the Middle.
I think everyone should be getting this,
especially parents get this so you can have this
for your kids. Well, the cool thing was Meet Me in the Middle. I think everyone should be getting this, especially parents, get this so you can have this for your kids.
Because.
Well the cool thing with Meet Me in the Middle
and the cartoons I'm doing this summer
that are gonna be launching on YouTube Kids
is I'm making them both for the parents and the kids.
So what I'm most excited about is when the parents read this,
I'm poking at them too.
Of course.
And that is going to be, if I pull anything off,
if I pull off the dream I have over the next 40 years,
50 years of Be Friends, hopefully one of my 48, 98,
I want 105, so over the next 57 years,
is that I got to own both.
Like I dream so hard right now
that a parent is laying in bed
with their five year old reading it.
And they're like, yeah, and they're like, oh.
I'm so excited about that. I gotta read this myself, yeah.
So you guys can get up a copy, go on Amazon or anywhere,
books are sold, meet me in the middle,
make sure you get this.
Again, I don't think day trading attention is as valuable
unless you get meet me in the middle first,
because then you can appreciate what you're creating
in your freelance business, solo entrepreneur,
if your career, whatever it might be,
day trading attention.
That said though, I think about you a lot,
because I met you when you were the LinkedIn guy in 2009,
right, and then you were a pioneer in podcasting.
What is exciting about, what tricked me for so long
was the advice that's tactical of the moment like this,
it works for everyone, It's not sustainable work
if you don't do the thing you're talking about.
Right, so 2011 you would have read this and tripled.
And you would have texted me and be like,
bro I love you.
To your point, you would have still had this day of breath.
You still had to get to that place.
And then that place becomes where you become
the ultimate version.
Exactly, so get both obviously.
But day trading Attention is about
how to actually build brand sales
in the new social media world.
Again, this is required reading from anyone
in online marketing, social media, content creation,
business, make sure you get a copy of this.
It's step by step.
It's 20 years of experience with Gary on social media
and obsessive with data and results
and putting it into one book.
So this is required reading.
Of the moment, right?
Of the moment, yeah, of course.
So this book was called Jab, Jab, Jab, Left Hook
until the last moment.
Interesting.
It's like, I need to write this book every,
I should be writing it every year, like the dummies.
But right now I'm every 10 years
and hopefully I'll close the gap.
But what I'm excited about is
it is pattern recognition and expertise, but it is of this second.
Yes, absolutely.
So get that book.
Two final questions before I ask them,
I wanna acknowledge you again, Gary,
for just being a real human being,
for being a real friend, for showing up consistently,
for so many people.
Again, personally in your life,
but for the world that follows your content.
I just appreciate how you continue to evolve, show up. and the thing that I think I love the most about you is how you took
Your health to a whole nother level seven eight years ago. I think you went all in ten ten years ago
and I think that is
for me the most inspiring thing because
People can see the business success and like I want that and then miss out on the health
Yeah people can see the business success and be like, I want that and then miss out on the health.
So the fact that you keep going all in on that
and you look better now than you did 10 years ago
is something I really appreciate and respect
because I think that's what the world's gonna need more of
is focusing on their own health.
I asked you about your three truths before.
I'm gonna skip this question.
I'm gonna go to the final question,
which is what is your definition of greatness?
That you gave more than you took.
I really, I really love this talk.
I'm excited about this podcast.
I think the extra time, usually I do 45 or, you know,
I think the extra time slowed me down.
I think one of the reasons I'm not good
at being a podcast host is that they're very,
no really, they're very tight times.
I always have a meeting after
and people get frustrated with me
because I talk over my guests
because I'm not relaxed
because I know I don't have a lot of time
and I wanna get to a bunch of punch lines for them
but then it becomes awkward
and I'm over talking over them
and I'm interrupting like Gary, he just wants to talk
and the audience is not wrong
that gets frustrated by that version.
Some people love it because they have brains like mine.
But nonetheless, I really do think we touched
on the thing that is greatness,
which is like look, one of the things I've done well
in my life is I was attracted to older people
my whole life.
When I was seven, 10, 13, I'd always go and talk
to 80, 90 year olds at the bench, at the park.
It was big.
And I used to think it was because I didn't have grandparents.
Because I lost three of my four grandparents.
I had my grandma, Esther, thank God.
But, and I was like, oh, especially grandfathers,
I would go to a lot.
So more specifically, I didn't have grandfathers.
I've come to realize that's not true.
It's that I'm addicted to wisdom and the actual game.
And I think, you know, greatness comes in like,
you know, I think about, like,
there's been a lot of great athletes.
And again, I'm bringing up Kobe again,
because I'm so glad you got to do that podcast.
It's so devastating that he's not on this earth.
But Kobe was different, because he was more like us in the way that, like, it wasn't that he was not on this Earth. But Kobe was different because he was more like us
in the way that like,
it wasn't that he was just a great athlete.
He gave about like higher thinking
and like competition as a healthy,
like it was just more thoughtful.
Yes.
And you know, I think that,
I think the reason he's revered is he gave to us.
Yes.
Right?
And I think greatness comes in like,
I think my mom is the greatest parent of all time.
And when I think about why I believe that is,
the reason I believe that is there's others that tie her,
but they could only tie her.
Because my definition of a parent is,
there's many things to it,
but my personal subjective definition is
how much did you give to those kids?
And I just think my mom gave it all, like all of it.
And I just know that that means for every other mom
and dad that has done that, they can only tie my mom
for the greatest, but it is a giving game.
And so I do a lot of things of gaining,
building my companies and dollars and followers
and attention. I understand
that. But I'm outpacing it with my giving. And I think I will continue to do that. And
that is where the Be Friends strategy came from. I was like, oh, I can take this. This
is what Disney and actually now I realized this is why Sesame Street and Jim Henson is
a legend. And I'm going to do that too. I'm going to create characters that people are
going to fall in love with. But I I'm gonna do it around collectability like Pokemon
because what I know about Pokemon and Marvel
is that old Gs still like it.
Whereas Big Bird and Cookie Monster we're done with.
But if I take what's epic about,
Pokemon doesn't bring the value that Sesame Street does.
But if I take the value that Sesame Street does.
But if I take the best of Sesame Street and the best of Pokemon and I smash that together
and I put my marketing capabilities
and my collectible and business strategies
and I build something,
man, I can really leave a positive impact.
The one question I wanted to ask you is,
so many of them, but one that's on my mind right now is
you've always told me and a lot of your followers
ahead of time, this is what's coming.
Yes.
You know, you are early Twitter, be on Twitter,
this is what's happening, this is what's happening now,
early Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn,
you were like always pushing TikTok,
you were like the first one on TikTok, Snapchat,
I remember you looking me in the eye saying,
be on Snapchat. That was the only thing that like didn't work for TikTok. Snapchat, I remember you looking me in the eye saying be on Snapchat.
That was the only thing that like didn't work for me,
but everything else has worked for me.
Who knows what's gonna happen with TikTok,
Instagram, Facebook, all of these different platforms
when we're thinking of attention in the future.
AI and the frickin' mobile devices and all these different.
Here are the things that have a chance.
As you know, what I'm great at is not predicting,
but moving so goddamn fast when it happens.
And then going all in.
Yeah, that I have that advantage.
What is coming?
Here's things that are coming.
One, for people like you and I,
all of our content in every language at scale.
We've got a million subscribers on Spanish on YouTube.
In our voice.
Oh yeah, that's the key.
That's what we're working on now.
So I, and you've seen it already Dustin,
like we're pretty close, we're almost done.
Mommy's speaking every language,
in my voice, in my little high pitches, in me.
That's gonna be huge for every-
Through AI, right?
That's right.
Is there a tool specifically you're looking at that you're-
We're using WeSpeech or there's a,
I mean it's moving so-
50 of them. Notice how I hesitate even though I'm a big're using WeSpeech or there's a, I mean it's moving so. 50 of them.
Notice how I hesitate even though I'm a big fan of WeSpeech.
It may be gone.
Yeah, that game is, AI eating itself up is just like crazy.
Yeah.
So AI.
Virtual influencers.
Oh yeah, that's coming.
I've seen those, people are blowing up already with,
you mean just like made up influencers.
That's right.
AKA very attractive people on Instagram
that you're like,
and that will go not just,
right now the early movers like always are like models
and like all that,
but it will be full-fledged Ricky Thompson,
47 year old marketing expert
who's gonna have 14 million followers
and it's Joanna Thompson in Australia
that actually owns him.
And is going, oh, it's gonna be huge.
So virtual influencers.
Are you getting into some of that too?
Yeah, I'm really starting to go deep on that.
Live streaming as a more scaled everyday thing.
Let me explain what I mean by that.
Me saying live streaming is important,
it's not Kaisenet and like Aiden Ross and like Ninja,
clicks like plenty of people are crushing on Twitch
and other things.
No, I mean what I'm up to now,
which is I have a camera in my office on mute
for 13 hours a day and I'm just sitting there
and it's entrepreneurial ASMR.
It's mute.
Mute, because I'm having real meetings.
So people are watching you?
Watching me, I was like, that's right.
And I try to unmute and that's the good thing for me.
Created an unmute counter and I'm like looking at them,
I'm like, oh, I haven't unmuted yet.
Hey everyone, like literally.
Wow.
13 hours a day?
That's right.
People making pizza.
People, I predict in five years,
someone who loves to mow their lawn,
mow their lawn, dyslex loves to mow their lawn, mow their lawn, mow their lawn, will go from like, that's that classic dad who does it,
to the modern dad, the 28 year old who's destined
to be a 48 year old dad who loves to mow their lawn,
like loves it, is destined right now as we're speaking,
to one time in seven years as he's on that journey,
streaming it for some weird reason.
Today, every 42 year old, 61 year old man or woman
that loves to mow their lawn for an hour and a half,
a big lawn, does not think, let me set up a laptop
and stream live on Twitter.
Doesn't cross their mind.
I believe it will become known.
I believe one of them will do it.
I believe for whatever reason it will crush
and I believe that person will a year later
retire from being a principal in a high school
to making a million dollars a year.
Mowing lawns.
Mowing their lawn.
Live streaming it.
Live streaming it.
So think about how different that is
than what I predicted would crush it.
Remember what I predicted would crush it?
Which was insane, which is influencers
are gonna make money.
I didn't call it influencers, we didn't have the term yet.
People will make money on the internet being themselves.
That was like, right now, somebody's like, wait a minute,
I will literally make a full-time living
by streaming, making breakfast for my family every morning.
Let me just say that, you know how insane that is?
Like literally, a mom or dad,
let's say a stay at home dad or mom
is literally gonna start streaming her 6 a.m. to 7.30
of prepping breakfast for everybody
and it's gonna capture a fever.
And they're gonna get millions of viewers every morning.
And they're gonna get subscribers for two bucks,
and they're gonna get merch deals.
And cookbook deals and this, yeah.
I'm seeing if there's a guy on TikTok who goes live.
It must be all day he's live.
He owns a little fruit stand.
He's just cutting up fruit.
And he's got a massive line everyday
that just wants to like be in the stream for a second.
That's right.
Live streaming, cutting fruit.
It's crazy.
The extreme version of what I saw happening with Crush It
is about to happen with live streaming
because it takes it to passive instead of progressive.
I had to sit down and do the wine show.
Now it becomes passive.
I will stream while I'm running my wine store.
But will people watch hours of content
when you need to be five seconds of videos
that people are like losing attention?
No, because people are watching long form content
at scale right now.
You know this.
You just don't wanna be in the middle.
You wanna either be great at short form
or you wanna be great at long form.
You just don't wanna be the middle
or you don't wanna be bad at long form
or bad at short form.
You could make people watch a,
people binge watch an entire season
of something on Netflix or sit.
People that sit with me, you know this,
sit with me the whole day.
That's crazy.
They sit there the whole day and talk to each other.
That's crazy.
Well, that's community.
I mean, it's amazing.
It's crazy. It's cool.
It's funny. It reminded me, you might remember this.
When I was coming up the game on Twitter and, and Vidler
on YouTube.
What was it Periscope?
Well, that was later and Meerkat. Meerkat. But what about before that? Daily Booth. Ustream. Ustream, YouTube. What was it, Periscope? Well, that was later. And Meerkat.
Meerkat?
But what about before that?
Daily Booth?
Ustream.
Ustream, man.
Ustream.
And that was big for me.
Wow, I remember that.
I would have been a huge streamer,
but now I'm too busy.
So my, by the way, a couple hundred people,
I have nothing.
Because I'm not, there's nothing.
Now, to Dustin and the team's credit,
now they're playing my recent videos
in the top right corner.
During the live stream.
So right, so I'm on mute,
but on the top right corner in a smaller box
is gonna be this, literally this.
And like, so like, you know, like we're figuring it out
and like, and again,
I think there's gonna be way more compelling ASMR.
I can tell you right now,
it would have been much more compelling
to follow me tasting wine all day.
What I'm doing right now is really boring.
I'm sitting in an office for like 12 hours a day
just doing meetings.
I'm not even in the old DRock Daily V world
where I was moving around a lot.
I'm in like,
cause I'm in full operations mode
on VaynerX and friends right now.
I'm in one of those modes.
I'm not in Gary Vee land as much.
Yeah.
One final question then, be respectful of your time.
Three truths.
I think you answered this probably five years ago,
last time you were on.
You said you want to live to 105.
Yeah.
Imagine you get to create everything
from this moment until then.
Okay.
Your vision, your relationships.
Yeah, follow that.
All of it happens,
but you have to take everything with you.
So once you leave,
no one has access to VFriends,
VaynerMedia, it's all gone.
All the content you've created, gone.
Erased from time.
Okay.
Hypothetical scenario.
No, I like, you got me intrigued.
Go ahead.
So I die at 105 and everything disappears.
All the content you've made, gone.
Okay.
Everyone lives.
What about the relationships I've made?
Those are there.
Okay, got it.
So content, got it. Content is gone. Got, got it. So content, content is gone.
Got it.
Business, content.
Yeah, everything's gone.
But on your final day,
you get to do one final live stream.
Yeah.
And all you get to leave behind is three truths.
Yeah.
Three things you know to be true.
If you could go 60 years in the future.
I could do it right now.
I would talk to them and say listen to me.
Three things and that's all they have to remind you of.
I'd say first of all, thank you for this journey. I'm gonna it right now. I would talk to them and say listen to me. Three things and that's all they can have to remind you of.
I'd say first of all, thank you for this journey.
I'm gonna miss every one of you deeply.
This sucks.
I really wish I could go to 110.
I don't know why I said so many of that.
Right, but three things you can leave behind.
I would say to them that like,
you're in life, I would say to everybody,
I would hope that I would have the entire
eight billion people on earth watching me on this last day
if we all knew it was going down.
The first thing I would say to them is,
I promise you this is the most truth
I've learned in 105 years.
In life, you find what you're looking for.
If you are looking for negativity and pain,
you will find it.
And if you were looking for joy and happiness,
you will find it.
And I would expand on that in my three truths,
because that's the game.
You find what you're looking for.
If you're in a good place, you're gonna find good.
You can't imagine, I'm just breaking out
of this question for a second.
Bro, I consume positive content all day
while everyone's telling me the world's never been worse.
The world's never been better.
Like, and I read some shit the other day
of like pig liver or whatever. Something's about I read some the other day of like,
pig liver or whatever, something's about to go
in our body now, like we're gonna cure that one too.
Like we're fixing.
Like the world was worse.
Like, it's never been worse.
I'm like, have you heard about the Holocaust?
The Black Plague?
Like COVID was fucked up, the Black Plague wiped out
like the majority of us.
Like World War I was nasty.
Like I just don't understand people's lack of perspective.
So I really am hot on that.
Okay, number one.
Number two.
That love is worth fighting for.
That you must destroy yourself for it.
Meaning not destroy yourself,
meaning like what you think you value if you don't have it.
A current relationship that might be comfortable,
which is very hard.
I appreciate your reaction to that.
That's probably the hardest advice I've just gave,
which is you know that you're in a relationship,
but it is not the right one, but if you have children,
it's comfortable.
Real stuff, you know?
You like them, like you like them.
That love is worth fighting for.
Okay.
You know?
And the third one?
Man, it's so funny how simple my brain goes.
Those two really, really, like choosing happiness
and love are so obvious to me.
You know what, I'm gonna go with a funny one
because I have a funny feeling that I would go out funny.
I would go out with a good curse, I think.
I would say this, because I feel it very heavily right now.
Until you realize that competition is one of the great traits
in life, that it is good, that like anything, out of balance, it's bad.
But the elimination of merit,
the demonization of alpha skills has really fucked it up.
Telling a six-year-old that it's just a game,
who was born with the gift of being an alpha
and on fire and competitive
is the worst thing you could do as a parent.
I despise it and I don't like that word despise.
Watching parents that are wildly well intended
systematically suck out the magic
of a kid who was born a magician is devastating.
And one of the real issues,
and I hope in the next 50 years it gets figured out,
but right now, so I'll use it as an opportunity
to make this point,
competition is one of the best things on earth.
And we have gotten really bad on the left side of things
in understanding it, And it's people up because if you're successful
in sucking out competition of an alpha six year old,
if you're successful in those 12 years
that you have them in your roof,
you've put indifference on a pedestal.
And so what you've done is you've taken someone
who was destined to do some really good.
And you've actually put a kid into a place of thinking,
things don't matter.
And when you don't think anything matters,
and you don't think anything's worth anything,
you go down a very dangerous road,
and I'm gonna go very, very cautious here,
because what I'm alluding to is almost inappropriate,
which is, I worry that a lot of the things
that we most worried about, I'll say it,
suicide and other things, are not a product of social media.
They're a product of us not recognizing things out of whack.
Competition is one of the great traits in society
and we must at all costs stop demonizing it.
Gary Vee, love you brother.
Thanks for being here, man.
Love you, bro.
Amazing.
Wow.
I hope you enjoyed today's episode
and it inspired you on your journey towards greatness.
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