The School of Greatness - The Investing Expert: How I Went From $0-$1M By 30 (Anyone Can Do THIS!) | Vivian Tu

Episode Date: December 27, 2023

On a global mission to make the financial industry less “male, pale, and stale,” Vivian Tu is a former Wall Street trader-turned-expert, educator, public speaker, host, entrepreneur, media powerhouse, and the founder and CEO of the financial equity phenomenon, “Your Rich BFF.” In January 2021, she developed and launched the “Your Rich BFF” blog and social media handles as a passion project to destigmatize and make the rules of personal finance accessible and digestible to non-experts and marginalized communities. Her dedication to promoting financial literacy and ability to bridge the gap between finance and the mainstream have earned her cross-platform fame and notoriety, having garnered nearly 6 million followers and counting, as well as honors on both the Forbes’ ‘30 Under 30 – Social Media’ (2023) and inaugural ‘Top Creators’ (2022) lists. This December 2023, Vivian’s financial prowess and devotion to educating her followers have culminated into the highly anticipated release of her debut book, “RICH AF: The Winning Money Mindset That Will Change Your Life.” Revealed exclusively on the TODAY show, “RICH AF” is billed as the definitive book on personal finance for a new generation, and was sold in a competitive auction for a seven-figure publishing deal to Portfolio, a division of PenguinBuy her book Rich AF: The Winning Money Mindset That Will Change Your Life Listen to her podcast Networth and Chill PodIn this episode you will learnHow to recognize warning signs of a potential layoff and take proactive steps to protect your career and financial stability.Whether everyone possesses the potential to achieve financial wealth and the key factors that contribute to financial success.Practical strategies for increasing your income and improving your financial health, even if you're currently facing financial challenges.Insights on achieving financial comfort without placing excessive emphasis on money itself, focusing on balance and fulfillment.The pros and cons of company loyalty versus job hopping, and finding out which approach is more likely to lead to financial success and wealth building.For more information go to www.lewishowes.com/1551For more Greatness text PODCAST to [phone]More SOG money-themed episodes we think you’ll love:Jaspreet Singh – https://link.chtbl.com/1411-podJen Sincero – https://link.chtbl.com/1101-podDave Ramsey – https://link.chtbl.com/1415-pod

Anybody who says money does not impact your relationship is a liar, okay? If true, like, physical intimacy is up there and money's right next to it, why don't we put just as much time into maintaining the money piece as we do the physical intimacy? Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, a former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week, we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the

class begin. Welcome back everyone to the School of Greatness. Very excited about our guest. We have the inspiring Vivian Tu in the house, who is a former Wall Street trader, financial expert, teacher, coach, podcaster, and now author of Rich AF, which is all about the winning money mindsets that will change your life. Vivian, thank you for being here. Thank you so much for having me. Appreciate it. I'm so excited because money is something that a lot of people struggle with. So many people struggle with it. Even when they have money, it's almost like they're more afraid of it and they get more scarce. They don't know how to

manage it, all these different things. Um, I'm curious though, for people that don't have money or feel like money is out of reach for them. Is it possible for anyone to become wealthy or to become rich? Or is it only for a certain mindset or a certain demographic of people? Yeah. I think anybody who wants to have money, anybody who wants to have richness can get there, but it certainly is not as easy as everyone on the internet makes it seem. It's not rah, rah, Amazon dropshipping, rah, rah, wholesale real estate, rah, rah, buy some life insurance and you're good to go. Like that's just not it. And I think a big conversation that like we don't talk about is like proximity, right? So like in my life now,

I have many rich friends and those rich friends provide me additional rich opportunities. So I got to go to the US Open on a bank's dime because my fiance worked with a guy who is at an investment bank. And he had four tickets, took him, his wife, my fiance, and myself. Those tickets are thousands of dollars. Right. Like they're very, very expensive. I have friends who had an incredible accountant, had, you know, great team in terms of financials for business. And they were like, you should talk to my team.

That's how I got hooked up with my business manager. If you don't have that proximity to people who have money, who've done it, who played the playbook, how are you going to learn it? Because sure, if you are a young person growing up low income and you want to make smart money decisions, work very hard in school, get good grades, do the American dream thing, and you go, you get to Harvard, okay? You get to Harvard, the rich kids still don't And you go, you get to Harvard. Okay. You get to Harvard. The rich kids still don't want to be friends with you because you can't afford to split the table at the club on Friday night. You can't afford to pay for the dues for your

finals club or whatever they call it. Like you don't have that money to get you there. So I think the process of becoming wealthy and becoming rich and having money, it's available to anyone. But the trajectory and the timeline is very, very different. Interesting. Where you start. So proximity alone isn't enough is what I'm hearing you say. Because you could have the grades or the skills and the proximity. But if you don't have the money still, then people may not.

What are you saying? So I'm saying that proximity makes it easier. Yes. So if you grow up rich and your parents are very, very tough and they're like, we're not leaving a penny to you guys. You still grew up around all those rich people. You still have access, contacts, information. Exactly.

And you still got all those soft skills. Whereas someone whose parents are like, I will leave you every dollar I have, but they grow up lower middle class, they don't have that proximity that you had growing up. It's like a language. You didn't get to hear the language, see how things were done, see how deals were talked about. Even if you weren't involved in doing the deals or paying for the things, you witnessed and experienced it over a decade or two. So on Wall Street, we call them

execution or knife and fork guys. So execution guys are the technical ones. They're like the ones that are actually good at the job, right? And then you got knife and fork guys. And the reason they're called knife and fork is because they know they have all of those elegances that if you don't grow up watching that day in day out you don't know they know that the littlest utensils here and the biggest one comes in closer to your plate they know how to take the napkin and fold it politely over their seat or like over their lap they know that the dessert spoon goes this way and they have those soft skills that are kind of like the tell of how you can kind of spot another rich person like i can smell the rich

on someone really oh yeah but there's a lot of like fake rich also oh tons. I can smell the rich on someone. Really? Oh, yeah. But there's a lot of fake rich also, isn't there? Oh, tons. So can you smell the rich and the fake rich? Yes. What's the difference between people who are actually rich and those who are acting like they're rich? People who are actually rich, like you rich. Sorry, guys.

That's good. That's good. They're not concerned about impressing you. Interesting. Interesting. They are. I talk about this in my book. They're not concerned about impressing you. Interesting. They are. I talk about this in my book. They are apex predators.

They do not worry about what you think about them. Wow. It is the guy that you see walking into a three Michelin star restaurant in a quiet, normal looking outfit, sweater vest situation, eats his meal, leaves a 50 50 tip because they can that's true wealth then you've got the wannabe wealth that goes to that same restaurant dripped out in a designer label is you know making a scene why isn't this water sparkling? This is still, I don't like that. Like just, you know, really, really new to the experience and then leaves at 10%. Wow. That's interesting. So is there, what are the other soft skills that you can tell between

someone who's actually rich and someone who's faking it or trying to be rich or maybe has some money, but they're trying to show it off too much. So I would say that people who want to look rich brag about things, look at my new bag, look at my new car, really rich people, they don't brag. They talk about experiences that they have. So this is another experience and like one that I frankly couldn't really relate to when I first started in my career because I didn't come from that kind of money. But when it was around vacation season and people were talking about going to Italy. And the yachts and the... Not even the yachts, but everybody had a restaurant in Capri that you had to try. Everyone had their favorite place for gelato, you know, in Venice, whatever.

Like whatever it was, you could tell that person had lived life in a way that someone who doesn't have that kind of access, who doesn't have that kind of money, doesn't have because they can't take the time off. They don't have the money to go to those places. of money doesn't have because they can't take the time off. They don't have the money to go to those places. And even if they did, they would be doing things on the path versus stuff off the beaten path that lets them live like a local. What would you say are a few practical things if people are like, I don't have money for the next few months. I don't have an emergency fund. I've got debts. I'm still paying off. If someone is financially sick and unwell and their financial health is unstable, what are a few strategies they can do to either increase their income or get back to financial wholeness? I would say something that people struggle with realizing is that these changes

you'll have to make, they're not permanent. They're only temporary. Yes. And you are going to be uncomfortable. It's not going to be fun. And I am very anti, cut out the avocado toast, don't buy the coffee. Rah, rah. Okay? I am. Yeah. But if you are in a truly a dark, dark hole and there's no ladder to crawl out. Cut it out. Like you literally have to cut it out.

You have to make some temporary changes that are very uncomfortable. And to your point, like we focus so much on cutting out every single little discretionary cost. Do you know how hard it is to cut out $5,000 worth of expenses? Do you know how easy it is to ask for a $5,000 raise? A $5,000 raise happens every single day. Like that is par for the course. That's not anything special. Cutting out $5,000, do you have any coffees you have to cut out?

Do you know how many meals you can't go out to? Do you know how many friends you might lose in that process? So again, I think it's really, really important to be asking for that raise. And I mean 10, 15% every single year. Are you going to get it every year? Probably not. But you get 7%, great. You get 8%, great. You got to ask. And you got to remind them pretty much for six months out of the year that you deserve that raise and that you want money, that you are money motivated. Because if you ask in December when everybody else is asking want money, that you are money motivated. Because if you ask in December when

everybody else is asking for money, you're at the back of the list, back of the line. You want to be on top of the pile when your boss starts thinking about who's getting a raise this year. What can someone do who's an employee to be really smart and intentional about getting a raise. Yeah. How can they show their value, their work ethic, that they're getting the results that's going to increase revenue in the business? As opposed to just saying, give me a 20% raise or a 10% raise because I deserve it. Yeah. How do they enroll through actual results as opposed to, I just want to raise.

Yeah. Give it to me. Otherwise, I'm not happy. Yeah. So you remember those two guys on Wall Street? You've got the executioners and then you've got the knife and fork guys. So on the execution side, make yourself a brag book. So it's a literal folder.

A brag book. A brag book, raise receipts, promo pitch, whatever you want to call it. Just make one. It's a folder in your email. And every time something good happens to you, every time you get a pat on the back from another team member from your company, forward it to that folder. A client says, wow, you did such a great job. Whatever.

Put it in that folder. Anything that good that happens to you, put it in that folder. that good good that happens you put in that folder because that way when you go and you have to write those really annoying self-assessments you can go back and literally look through those emails and be like oh remember that time I did that one thing and that thing and that thing and now you have quantifiable results that you can point to the second piece is the knife and fork piece there's a study and it shows that the smartest person is not the one that gets paid the most. They're like second most paid, second or third most paid.

Yeah. Being smart and being the best employee gets you to a certain point. But the person that is paid the most is the person that is essentially Mr. or Mrs. congeniality. You need to be liked. You need, and not so much like you have to be agreeable and likable, but like people have to think of you. Like- You gotta be top of mind. You gotta be top of mind. And you have to be, unfortunately,

popular around the office. So that happens by not skipping the company happy hour. That happens by joining your stupid rec pickleball league with your boss. You know what I mean? You have to do those things if you really want that. And I know people listening to this might think like, well, I have kids. I can't do the pickleball league i can't uh go to the happy hour okay ask your boss to go to lunch once every three weeks make that time force that time do the water cooler thing because it might cause you 15 min it might cost you 15 minutes of your day and it might cost you that 15 minutes of productivity, I guarantee you,

nobody is going to miss that 15 minutes of your work product, but they'll remember when you told that funny joke. They'll remember that story you told about, you know, the one, you know, funny thing that happened that weekend, because that is how people remember you. It's not about like,

oh, do you remember who closed that amazing deal last quarter? Nobody says that. Right. You know, what I think about is like, who is able to show up with just consistent, good attitude, energy, and effort consistently? Who creates the least amount of stress? Yes.

You know, I don't want to think about the challenges and the stress that is being brought to the team or to myself, but that you're just consistent. Not that you can't have a challenging day or bad stuff happens, but just overall, you got pretty good attitude. Yeah. Pretty good energy.

You're willing to show up and work hard consistently. It's like, all right, cool. You're going to get rewarded. Yeah. But go ahead. No, I was going to say, it's also like doing an elevator test or a airport test when you're looking at a resume? How many times has someone asked you about your past job experience in detail? Frankly, not that many times. You know what everybody beelines to on my resume? What's that? They look at the very bottom

and they're like interests, activities. And they're like, oh, that's weird. I see you were a, literally, that's weird. You were a cheerleader in college? And I'm like, yes. And they're like, really? And I'm like, yeah, why? Don't I seem so fun and bubbly? And like, you know, it's the same day that I'm wearing all black and I look so depressed. Or they'll look at the bottom of my resume and they're like, interest, mob movies. What's your favorite one? And I'm like, Goodfellas, obviously. And then we get into a 20-minute debate, and I waste 20 minutes on our interview. But you only now have 10 minutes to ask me technical questions.

And if I ace those 10 minutes of questions instead of 30 minutes, I now look like a genius. Because every question you ask me, I got right. And then, even better, like, the fact that you and I now have something in common. Because you know that Goodfellas is my favorite movie. I know that The Godfather is your favorite movie. So now we're friends. Yeah, you're more likable. Yeah.

It sounds like people hire or they give raises or opportunities to people they like more. Is that what I'm hearing you say? Where was this study from? Do you remember this likability study? Can't exactly remember. We'll have to look it up. But it'll literally be like the first Google search. Literally just be like,

smartest person doesn't get paid the most. Right. It's been shown time and time again. It's not about being the smartest or the most technical. It's about you want to have technical skills and be smart. You got to be a B plus student with an A plus personality. And that'll get you farther than being an A plus student with an A plus personality. And that'll get you farther than being an A plus student with a B plus personality.

Interesting. It's more about personality than your technical skills. Yeah. Is what it sounds like. Interesting. Yeah. But you got to be competent as well.

Yeah. You can't be completely incompetent. You can't have an A plus personality and just be like a D minus. Like you're still bad at the job. They don't want you around. Man. I don't know how I got here then.

I was like barely past school, you know? But it's interesting. We were just talking about this event this last weekend. And one of the speakers, Vanessa Van Edwards, she's like kind of like a behavioral scientist and studies people and soft skills and all these different things. And she was like, if you want to be interesting as a human being, it's not about how much knowledge you know, or how funny stories you tell or whatever your history, it's about how interested you are in other people.

It's like your ability to listen and engage and ask more questions. And when people feel that you care about them and are interested in them, they're going to be more interested in you. And so it's kind of turning the tables around where you don't need to be that smart, but you need to be present. You need to be engaging. You need to be able to have courage to ask those questions and look someone in the eyes and just have a good energy. And I think that's part of it as well. That'll take you a long way in a career. So that's what I'm hearing you say around. If you're wanting to increase your income is some practical things. What about if you have a sick financial health? Um, and you're just,

you're not sure where your money's at. You're not sure where you're spending your money. You're not sure how much debt you have. You're, you know, buying three lattes a day or whatever it is. And you're just like, huh, I really don't have an emergency fund. I really don't have much savings. I don't have any investments and I'm in debt. How can they get back to a healthy place? What are practical steps they can do? Yeah. This is my, your rich BFF strip method. Ooh, strip it up. If you want to be good with money, you got to strip. strip method. Ooh, strip it up. So if you want to be good with money,

you got to strip. Strip. So S stands for savings. It's so important to get that emergency fund first. You break your leg, some bad happens to you, you're going to need it. Yeah.

And if you don't have it, you're going to get worse into debt. So start with emergency fund. Emergency fund. I like to do. What do you say, six months, three months?

If you are a singleton who rents, three to six months is totally fine. If you got a family, you got a mortgage, the stakes are a singleton who rents, three to six months is totally fine. If you got a family, you got a mortgage, the stakes are a little higher, you probably want to be closer to nine to 12. Okay. Cool. T stands for total debt. And I say total debt because people think about debt as this evil thing. Not all debt is created equal. And debt with higher interest rates, things like credit card debt, when you're looking at a 22% to 25% interest rate, is a lot dicier than something like federal student loan debt. You might have like a 3% interest rate on that.

Those two do not compound at the same rate. It's just math. So what you do is you rank your debt from highest to lowest interest rate, and you pay it down in that order. You pay off the minimum balance of every single account. On the higher one first. So you pay off the minimum balance on everything. Okay, gotcha.

But any money you have left over to pay down debt, you put towards the highest interest rate. The highest first. Yes. Even if it's got, I don't know, even if it's got the least amount or the most amount of debt, it doesn't matter. It does not matter. Some people prefer the snowball, which is you ranking from smallest to largest balance. It's great positive reinforcement because you're able to clear accounts faster, but you pay more interest. Right. And Aries, I'm an Aries.

I'm like really impatient. So psychologically, you might be like, oh, I'm getting things done faster. But you're not. But you might still be paying more in interest later. Correct. And we're talking about someone who does not have the money to afford that interest. All right. So we got to go fastest.

Got it. Okay. Total debt. That's the T. Total debt. R stands for retirement. okay so dead that's the total debt um r stands for retirement um i know you know especially my audience so many people are young and they're like they're not thinking about retirement four years away it's 30 years away it's like millennial gen z yeah it will be here before you know it

and again uh now i do know where this study come from uh credit Karma did a survey and over a quarter of people over the age of 59 have not a dollar saved for retirement. Come on. Not a dollar. Over 59? No. 25% don't have anything to save. 27% is the actual. 27%. Wow. Not a dollar. Why is that? Why do people wait so long to have zero retirement? I think on one hand, in part, it's education. It's that thought of like, I'll be young forever. Two, I will say many, many of those people are likely in lower paying jobs. They are not offered

employer sponsored retirement plans. They don't know to create their own individual one. And I think things happen throughout the years. So maybe you were really responsible about putting away money for retirement. If you get sick, you can't not get treated. It's hard. Sure. Life happens. Yeah. But it is important to think about retirement now. And this is my favorite part because I love tax bennies. Tax bennies? Bennies being benefits. Okay. Tax benefits. Saving for retirement, investing for retirement, you can get tax benefits. That's true. In a 401k, a Roth 401k, in an IRA, a Roth IRA. can get tax benefits. That's true. In a 401k, a Roth 401k, in an IRA, a Roth IRA. At one point,

whether the money is going in or coming out, at one point, you don't have to pay taxes. Right. And you can do that legally. The government wants you to do that. That's how it's written in the tax code to incentivize you to do it. So take advantage. Don't pay those taxes. Make sure you are saving for retirement and not paying your taxes because it's legal. And I think I, moving on from retirement, is the part that everybody misses. Everybody puts their cash into those retirement accounts, into their brokerage accounts, and they're like, doing a great job. I'm done. That's it. But no, no, no. Investing is not putting cash into those accounts. It's actually buying stuff with that money. And people forget to do this all the time. And buying stuff with the retirement money or with separate money? No, with that money. So like, say you have a Roth IRA and you put $5,000 into that Roth IRA. I know

people who have put that money into their Roth IRA for years and they never allocated those dollars anywhere. That just sat in a cash fund and it didn't grow. And people will make comments when I make content about Roth IRAs or 401ks and they're like, well, I don't know what you're doing, but my money hasn't grown. I'm like, did you invest it? And they were like, yeah, I put it in the Roth IRA. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no.

Did you go and buy index funds? Did you go and buy a mutual fund? Did you put your money into a target date retirement fund? Did you do any of that? With that money. With that money. Interesting. The metaphor I talk about in my book is going to the grocery store.

So you go to the grocery store, which is the brokerage, and you have your cash in your purse and you walk in. Imagine just taking a lap around the grocery store and then going home and being like, why is there no food in my fridge? That's what people do. You actually have to go and buy your fruits and your veggies and a couple of snacks for yourself. You have to buy those things if you want them in your house. Wow.

But most people aren't aware of that, huh? No. It's one of the biggest mistakes I see over and over again. So invest your money with the I and P stands for my favorite part. You got to plan. You do not get to have your happily ever after. You don't get to ride off into the sunset if you don't have a plan. You got to plan for your party. What type of plan should they be making? What's a good idea of making a plan? I think it's so important to sit down, whether it's by yourself or with

your significant other and talk about what does our happily ever look like? Are you and I retired in Naples, Florida? Are we retired in Naples, Italy? Because the numbers for those two don't look the same. Do we help our kids pay for, you know, their private education at a college? Or are we saying take out loans? Do we want to have a pet? How many cars do we want to have? How many vacations a year are we taking? Are, when we, you know, get married, are your parents moving into our house?

Do we have to build a separate little, you know, in-law suite for them? That all costs money. And if you don't know what that looks like for you, how are you going to back your way into that number? Interesting. Yeah. So creating that plan. Speaking of, that was great. I loved all this about getting clear on your financial health and making more. But I wanted to ask you about intimacy, relationships, money, and power. Let's do it.

And you've been in a relationship for six, seven years, engaged for a year. But you also saw people probably go through different types of power dynamics and relationships in New York City, on Wall Street, and people with lots of money. Yeah. When you were either dating before this, the guys on the floor who had been married and divorced. I'm sure you've heard some crazy stories of people. Oh, insane. And I'm sure the divorce rate is higher on Wall Street than just like middle America,

I don't know, suburbs. I don't know. I don't know if I would say that. Really? Yeah. Maybe they just keep it together, but they have like separate wives. Yeah, I don't know. Who knows? Yeah. Three families, like on billions or something. Yeah. Oh my gosh, I was just going to say dollar bill. Yeah, exactly. But how much does money affect intimacy and relationships? When one person has more than the other, when both have a lot, when both have a little,

what have you witnessed? And personally, but also what have you experienced from your research? Yeah. Yeah. Anybody who says money does not impact your relationship is a liar. Okay? It is truly every year they do some, somebody does a study. It's money and sex, money and sex, one and two, one and two.

They go back and forth between who's number one, who's number two. But like, those are the top two reasons always. Like those are the top two reasons always. And imagine if true like physical intimacy is up there and money's right next to it, why don't we put just as much time into maintaining the money piece as we do the physical intimacy piece? On making a relationship or marriage work, you mean? Correct. And I think maybe this is just a phenomenon that I have witnessed. And I will say this from like a heteronormative relationship standpoint, but like we have a lot of guy friends who make a lot of money and you are one of two dudes. Okay. You either want a partner truly. And like, I know some of these guys, like their wives, girlfriends, whatever,

are like the coolest, most inspirational. Like they just have the coolest job or they always have something really exciting to talk about, like a passion project they're working on. They're just like so cool. And they're so smart. Good human beings. Like really nice. They do something, like they just have a lot to bring. They're always the person who's like, oh yeah, like I brought a snack for you. I'm like, why do you have a snack for me? But it's like, they're just cool, thoughtful partners. Then there are other people who want a more, I would say with wives, it's more of like a traditional marriage. Someone who stays at home, who takes care of the home, and there's nothing wrong with that.

When you choose these routes, I think it has a lot to do with having been conditioned into thinking that you need to be the provider. And I will say, I think there are a lot of men out there that would not be able to handle having a significant other or a woman significant other who makes more money than them. Really? 100%. Because I think it would be emasculating for some men who are not confident in their own masculinity. Yeah.

And their ability to provide in other ways that are not monetary. So do you think when a woman makes more than a man in a relationship that it eventually will fail? No. It's possible that it works out? Yes, I do. I really do.

But you have to talk about that for sure. Like I make more than my significant other. And I asked him, I was like, does it make you uncomfortable that I make more than you? Because for the first five years of our relationship, he made way more money than I did. Really? Yeah. He's always made more money than I did until I started Your Rich BFF. And he answered in a really, really thoughtful way. And he was like, no, why wouldn't I want you to

make more money so that we can do the things we want to do faster and I can retire earlier? And I'm like, okay, sick, easy. And he's like, but on top of that, you can't make your partner feel bad. That's the part that's really messed up. I think like regardless of if, you know, the guy makes more, the girl makes more. The where you'll see issues is where the partner who makes more leans on that money to replace actual emotional investment in the relationship. So like Venmoing your partner $200 because you can't make that date. That's trying to buy affection instead of being like, I am so sorry.

And then the next day, sending roses. You're still spending money. You're still getting a gift. You're saying sorry, but it's not so transactional and gross. And then on the women's side, it's like making your partner feel bad. Like, well, I earned this money. It's like, you know, why are you going out golfing? Like, I don't think money should be like held over anybody's head, regardless of who you

are in a relationship or if just, you know, between friends, because that's going to negatively impact relationships no matter what. Right. I've heard this. You tell me if I'm, you know, off on this, but I've heard that extremely successful, you know, it's called boss girls or whatever, boss women who are, you know, running their own business, CEOs, making money, you know, leading the way, building inspiring things and also extremely attractive women. Making videos, making money, leading the way, building inspiring things.

And also extremely attractive women don't get approached by men as much for some reason. That's what I've heard. I don't know if that's accurate or not, but that's what I've heard. It's like if you're making a lot of money as a woman or if you're extremely attractive physically, guys are intimidated. This is what I've heard. Why do you think men are intimidated by extremely successful financial success within women or physically attractive women? A fear of inadequacy, obviously. I mean, I don't mean to say like, obviously, you don't think about that. But I think when you see someone that you think is too good for you, whether it be through looks, through money, through anything, too good for you whether it be through looks through money through anything um you would say i'd rather quit before i try wow for that fear of rejection like it's such a fact because

we have a friend who is just 10 out of 10 smoke show she's never the one that people want to talk to at the bar really she's oh my god never nobody ever talks to her she's like in the corner because everybody thinks that she will be mean to them in fact this reject them yeah this girl's like a plus personality just like so beautiful like i can only say good things but no one ever approaches her because they think that she will instantaneously think she's too good for them. Whereas like if we're keeping it real, there are certainly girls who are not as conventionally attractive as this one friend, but guys feel very compelled. They're like, well, this girl and I are probably in the same league and she seems fun.

I'll give this one a go. Wow. And that is just so much more approachable because they think that it's essentially like saying no to yourself or like applying for a job that you think you're unqualified for. Like people are quitting before they try. Wow. Interesting. Do you think it's harder for men to approach, you know, a smoke show of a woman, I guess,

aesthetically versus someone who's making more money than to them? Or is it harder to approach someone making more money than them? I think it's harder to approach someone who's visually attractive because it's hard to instantaneously judge being like that woman makes more money than me right i think there's also a lot of mental gymnastics that can go into it um i i know what people say about me on the internet i see the comments people are like so daddy's money like it's not like i made it right like it's my money i invested it or oh she's a trust fund baby or you know did she win the lotto or like what like no one ever just wants to believe that you earned

your money or that you deserve it they always want to make some excuse for themselves so that they can sleep at night. Because if they look at someone like me who has made it themselves with certain privileges that I will not deny, but who was able to do it. Yeah. And they, in their 29-year-old life, have not been able to do it. Yeah. They feel shortcomings. Mm-hmm. Yeah. They feel shortcomings. Mm-hmm.

You know, it sounds like I wonder what your fiancé, if you met now, right, as opposed to maybe six years ago when he had more money than you and then the dynamic has shifted. I wonder if it's harder for a guy to meet a woman who has more money than them in this moment versus, okay, we've kind of grown up in a sense and now, oh, she's just crushing it now. That's exciting. It's probably a different dynamic I would think than it's like, okay, you're making twice as much as me. What is it going to take for a man to be emotionally, spiritually prepared to connect with a woman for the first time that's making a lot more than them? What do they need to do in order to be comfortable? And is that dynamic something that you've seen work in relationships? That's such a good question because if I'm being honest, That's such a good question because if I'm being honest, I don't know if my fiance and I, if we met now, would be together.

Really? Yeah. Holy moly. I don't know if you're going to like that I said that. I think I'm taking into account a bunch of other things, right? Like how busy my schedule is, how I am living in a gazillion different places. I'm only in one place every single week. You have history, but if you were meeting now, it'd be different, right? Well, I think about, like I was talking to him because I was talking to some other creator friends.

I was like, I don't know how I would date now. Like I don't know who would even possibly be cool with the lifestyle I have. Right. We have history. Like, you knew me back when I was swinging from the chandeliers in my early 20s. Which probably makes him even more desirable for you. Because he knew you before you met him. Because he liked me when I was just little old me with my roach-infested apartment.

He was helping me move out. Right. He liked me then. Exactly. When, you know, i was at my worst and now that you know i've struck it big like he's the first person i want to call when something happens and when i go on vacation and we are just you know watching a movie on the ipad every night like that's my happy ever after that's like you get to have that moment and you're like, we did this together. That's cool. I have seen relationships where the

woman makes significantly more work. I think for men, you have to ascribe value in yourself that isn't tied to a dollar sign. So what do you bring to the table aside from just an income. Because for so long, this traditional sense of breadwinner, back in our grandparents' parents' days, it made sense because you could survive off of a single income. Right. And your wife would be at home making you dinners, da, da, da, da. Now more and more people have to be in dual income homes. And for some men, when they see women who are making a ton of money, like if they can't hold up their end of the bargain, they feel lesser than. is like, I am able to bring to the table love and compassion and care, and I take care of the home. I have an incredible relationship with my children. I am able to support my wife in a way that, you know, if I was working full time, maybe I wouldn't. Or, you know, even if you are working

full time, like, I still support my wife. I am the person who does all of the planning who manages xyz in the house like you have to find value in other places or yeah i think of like the little things that i value that my partner does like he knows how crazy busy i am so he'll be like i have picked the location of our next vacation i'm like all right tell me where we're going. And he does all the research and he's like, we're going to take this flight to this thing. We're going to make this transfer. This is the hotel we're going to stay at. And I'm like, cool, love it. Done. I don't want to have to think about it twice, but he loves doing that. That's cool. And he's also contributing financially. It's not that he doesn't have any money. In any other reality, he would be the breadwinner.

Right. He makes a ton of money. Right. I own my own company. Right. So it's a different ballgame. It's a different ballgame. Do you think women can truly respect men if they are making a lot more than them?

I mean, meeting and kind of dating at that point when they're already making more, not kind of building up and making more eventually, but do you think women can truly respect the man they're with if they make a lot more than them? I'd like to think so. I hesitated for too long, didn't I? You'd like to think so, but I don't know. I mean, just from the experience of like the research you've done, the industry you're in around money, the financial world, the people you know, do the women truly respect them? You know, can you, or is it always a little something underneath the surface that's like, okay, he adds value in lots of other ways, but I'm providing financially for this life. Do you feel like the woman can truly respect that man? I do because I've seen

enough examples of it. Okay. I, you know, know quite a few women who make more than they're significant. My mom made more than my dad. Mm-hmm.

And... But that was in... That was after a period of time. It wasn't like they met and she's making a lot more. Oh. In the beginning, right? When they're like in their 20s.

You see what I'm saying? It's like... Yeah. They grew up and then she started a lot more in the beginning, right? When they're like in their 20s. You see what I'm saying? It's like they grew up and then she started to make more. That, admittedly, I'm not 100% sure. I know that since immigrating to the US, my mom had an easier time learning the language than my dad did. Oh, that's good. So she's always made more money. Gotcha.

I know all of my women creator friends all make more than their significant others. I mean, take Margot Robbie, for example. Her husband was, I think, like a producer or part of like the crew on one of her shoots. And they met, he ended up just being like someone she gelled with so hard and now they're married. Right. And I think it works. I do think like you can, like, I think society ties so much of human value and respect to the dollar value next to your name and it doesn't have to be that way.

That's great. Um, I want to ask you about where you think the world is going with money over the next, you know, year or two. Oh God. Okay. There's been a lot of changes over the last few years with the financial world, with interest rates, with real estate, with people losing jobs, with whoever knows what's happening. How can we be prepared for what's to come financially? Whether it's incredible financially or it's a nightmare financially? What can we do today to start being better prepared so that we are not as affected as we could be? I think diversification is really important. So that's making sure that you have that emergency fund, making sure that there's money you are investing in the stock market through index

funds that are all diversified. You're not just buying like one stock and being like, that's it. Like roll the dice. Yeah. Like it's not like that. Um, you want to be really diversified. You want to be buying some bonds. You want to be buying, you know, equities. You want to consider maybe investing in real estate. Maybe that's buying, you know, an actual physical property or just investing in funds or something like that um i also think that like there is a disconnect right now from like a mindset perspective of a lot of people and not to get on this like raw raw soapbox again but so many people now aspire to a life that frankly they will never be within their means wow and i say that and i i know it's harsh but keeping up with the johns has become keeping up with the kardashians because you have it all on your phone you can see this immense amount of

wealth that like in any other reality, like before our parents' time, our grandparents' time, you were never able to see it. Right. Like people have always had yachts, but now you see a yacht like every other day, you're like, par for the course,

like this is great, whatever. Like I should have a yacht too. And so you've got people spending money like it's going out of style to keep up and it doesn't make sense. I know people who only take black cars. I make seven figures a year and I am ready to get into the Toyota Camry that picks me up. Yeah. That there is just, again, this almost like desire to like fake it till you make it of like,

you know, this trend of like delulu, like delusional. Like, yes, in some ways it's great because you want to apply for jobs that you're unqualified for. You want to do things that are outside of your comfort zone, but like that can also put you in a really precarious situation very quickly. Right. It seems like I see these clips on like TikTok and different places of, you know, an interviewer asking like random women in their twenties, like, okay, what type of man do you want to be with? And how much do you think he's supposed to have? And they're like, he should be making $400,000 a year and he should be making, and he should be six foot tall. Otherwise I won't date him. And they're like, okay, the percentage of people who are 30 years old that are making a hundred thousand dollars a year is so slim. And then you're talking about 300,000, a millionaire. It's so slim.

And then they're like six, two. You're like, you got four people. I know. Right. Like I can list the four. And they're also like, what, what are you going to contribute to this relationship? Well, I'm just going to, you know, show up and just, I'm being hot. Yeah. I'm just going to be hot. And there's kind of this delusion, like you talk about where I'm going to get the richest guy. They're going to give me everything I want at all times, whenever I want it. And they're going to like that. Like in what world? Exactly. In what world? And it's just, um, it was a little delusional. What do you think is going to happen over these next few years as people's beliefs and

philosophy around what they think they're deserving when they don't get it after a few years? What do you think is going to happen as the financial world continues to evolve and shift and break down or build up in certain ways? I think there's going to be a real painful, like, come to Jesus moment. Really? Yeah. Because to your point, unfortunately, I'm saying this as a woman.

I really have thought about this very deeply. Women who bring nothing more to the table than their good looks have a depreciating asset. Man, women don't want to hear that. I know they don't want to hear that. I don't want to say that, but it's true. It is true. You need to be able to bring something else, whether that's your own money for you. You made it. You spend it. It's yours. You need to take care of yourself. Sure.

If you want, like, let me tell you, I'm a rich woman. I'm going to be marrying a very rich man. We're going to be rich together. I love that. Great. Love that for me. I love that for me. I love that for me.

But like, you have a depreciating asset, right? Because you are the hottest you will ever be in your 20s, right? Maybe in your 30s because 30s are the new 20. I'm telling myself that because I'm 29. 40 comes. 50 comes. There's a younger, hotter girl out there now. There's always a younger, hotter girl.

And that guy in that TikTok video who's making $400,000 a year, who's over 6'2", you know, whatever, and is 30 years old, he's going to date the best that he can in that dating pool. And eventually it won't be you anymore. Wow. You need to protect yourself. And I see this all the time because I get DMs from people who are like, I was married to my husband for 20 years. He just left me for some little young thing. I don't have a dollar to my name. I don't know the passwords to any of our accounts. What do I do? And that breaks my heart. It breaks my heart because you have to rebuild. You have to start from kind of scratch.

Ideally, you know, you have to get divorced. You have to go through court, get money. But like, you got to start from scratch, which is why I always tell people, have your own money, especially for women. Wow. Sure. You can, you know, if you want to go after the richest guy, ask him to buy you everything under the sun, great.

You better still be working that job. You better keep your own money. You got to take care of yourself. Because one day they may not be there. But you never wake up and your job doesn't love you back or your money doesn't love you back. It's important to take care of yourself. And that's also why I'm a huge proponent of getting a prenup. I was just going to ask you this.

I was going to ask you this. Why should women want a prenup as much as men want a prenup? Because even if you don't sign one, you get one. But the government gets to write it. And I don't trust the government as far as I can throw them. Interesting. You have a prenup whether you write it or not. And that is what everybody has to remember.

Okay? Creating a prenup, I get it. It's not the sexiest thing. But it doesn't have to be a, you know, horror movie situation where when you get divorced, one person is rich and one person is left destitute. where when you get divorced, one person is rich and one person is left destitute. A prenup is truly just an agreement when you and your significant other are in a good place to hash out the details now. Like, no one says the negative stuff that they say about prenups about car insurance.

Why do you buy car insurance? Because you might get in a crash. Right. But no one wants to get in a crash. It may not be your fault. It may not be your fault. Yeah. But when 50% of marriages are ending in divorce

and you're not getting insurance, that's insane. That is insane. That's true. So I think getting a prenup, getting it in writing, like, hey, if I am a more traditional role, if I am in the home,

you are the breadwinner. If we do get divorced, I need to be compensated for those 10 years that I was not working because that costs money and I need to be taken care of. That's okay to say. Yeah. Wow. There's value in adding to the home. 100%. What do you think someone should say?

How can someone start the conversation of, hey, I think we should get a prenup? Yeah. What should that conversation look like so it's the least amount of stress and can be actually enjoyable to address and talk about? Yeah. So I think it's very hard if your first financial conversation with your significant other is, I want a prenup. Because it's a little dicey.

It's a little hurtful. But if you are even in that vague stage of potentially proposing, potentially getting married to somebody, you should have already been talking about money. Because the very first document that you and your partner sign probably isn't a marriage license it's your first leave wow and you guys had to talk about how to split that rent into yep you guys have to talk about who's paying for what on vacation it's true you guys talk about who pays for the groceries who you know who's paying the electric bill who's paying the wi-fi who's doing all that you're living together probably most most couples live together before they get, you know, more government involved. At least in America, yeah.

In America, I would say. But you want to be having a financial check-in with your significant other pretty regularly. Wow. I would say... How does that look like for you, you know, with your fiancé? We, like, check in, like, every couple days. Yeah. For different things. So it's, hey, did we make sure to set aside that money because we're going on vacation

and we want to make sure that when the deposit hits, we have it. It's set. Great. And that's fun, right? Talking about that money because you're excited to go on vacation and when you're having these conversations regularly they desensitize it's less scary it's less scary because you've already talked about it it's not anxious anymore exactly if we've already talked about how you have student debt and i'm still cool marrying you and we've talked about how i have credit card debt and you're still cool marrying me like cool it's it's less scary when you talk about money to get married. When did you first talk about prenup in your relationship? You're talking about prenup? Or have you not talked about it yet? No, we have.

No, we have. We already know what the exact terms of our prenup are going to be. Was that early in the relationship? Was that after you got engaged? Before you got engaged. Before the engagement. You know, I think it was really when your rich BFF started to take off. We had already been together for years. So we both kind of, you know, the writing was on the wall. Like, it wasn't so much of an if as so much of a when. And I was like, hey, can we like talk about something? And he was like, he was like, okay, what's up?

Very ominous. And I was like, oh, I just wanted to say like, you know, I'd like to get a prenup like when we get married. And I will say I think he was a little taken aback at first. Wow. And I was like, just hear me out. Okay. This is actually in your benefit. And he was like, all right, Viv.

Spin the lie. Go ahead. And I was like, no, seriously. Because... Is he older or younger? He's like a year and a half older. So we're roughly the same age. Same age, yeah.

The first five years of our relationship, he made more money than me. Right. And as such, he has been incredibly good and incredibly fair to me. Generous. Very generous. He always paid more rent than I did. It was not a 50-50 split. When we would go on vacation, it was not a 50-50 split. He would pay for all of our meals out. I rarely paid for stuff like that. Right. Activities, movies.

Correct. He paid for all of it because he made more money. Right. Activities, movies. Correct. Events. He paid for all of it because he made more money. Right. And all of the money that I did not spend, I had been saving and investing. And when we bought our home together, when we put in our down payment, I put in six figures more than he did. Wow. And I was like, in our prenup, I wanted to say that we are 50-50 partners in this house. We are 50-50 partners on every dollar both of us are taking into this relationship. And if anything were to happen, we would split every dollar in every account 50-50, except I want a full carve out of my business. You can't touch it. You can't make decisions on it.

You get no equity. Because if my ex-husband had an equity stake in my company. Could ruin it. There is not a single agent. There's not a single manager, not a single company that would touch it with a 10 foot pole. Do you know how hard it would be to make business decisions with someone who hates you? So hard. So when I explained it to him that way, he was like, okay, that actually makes a lot of sense. He was like, sure, I've helped you, you know, hold the phone to film a couple videos, but like, you built this on your own. That's your thing.

All the income that your business will have generated during the time that we're married, during the time before we were married, it's 50-50. It's all 50-50. On both of your incomes. Both of our incomes. Any money that he brings in, I have 50% of it. And it's great because it's almost a true up moment for all those years that he spent paying for dinner, that he spent paying for vacations.

And I would like to think of when I put in more money to the house, that had kind of gotten us to even. But now we are continuing to be 50-50 partners. And I think about it this way. People ask me this all the time. They're like, but you make a lot more money. That's not going to be 50-50. You would have been better off had you kept several bank accounts. And I'm like, yeah, but if I didn't have this job, if I had continued with my regular job and I was making great money, he would still be making more than me and he would never, ever give me less than 50. So I don't want to give him less than 50. Wow.

That's pretty cool. Yeah. And also it's for him, like if in five years he wants to go and take a risk and start a business and what if it takes off and he's making more, then you're both still contributing the income 50-50. And it sounds like you wouldn't have his business either then. Yeah. Or who knows?

No, we'd have to get that carved. We'd have to get that put in. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So that's interesting. I like that. And he took it well. Yeah, he did. Do you think men take it better if a woman proposes

a prenup than if a man proposes to a woman, hey, I want to have a prenup? How can a man approach it and to their girlfriend or fiance of like, hey, I want to have a prenuptial agreement? Yeah. What do you think they can do to lessen the blow? Yeah. I think every prenup is unique because you get to dictate the terms. Yes. If a man is saying to someone who is also bringing a lot to the table or makes their own money or they've kind of decided they want a traditional relationship, whatever,

like we want to have a prenup, I think there's a way to posture and position it and be like, we are doing this for the benefit of our marriage, not for the benefit of me. And it actually has to be the case. The terms can't be a crazy, ridiculous, like, if we get divorced, I get 95, you get five. You get nothing. Yeah, it can't be that. Because in that case, they should be offended by their prenup.

Right. Nothing. Yeah, it can't be that. Because in that case, they should be offended by their prenup. Right. I think what we see is outrage on a lot of reality TV is, frankly, let's just call a spade a spade. Certain people dating other people for their money and nothing else being offended when asked for a prenup. Right.

When it's like, why would you be entitled to that money? Can I fully trust you? Yeah. Yeah. I don't think they should be getting married anyway, frankly. So I think if a prenup is coming from the right place, it's cool. If it's coming from the wrong place, in a place where you're like, I need to protect myself, I'm really scared about this person, why are you marrying them? Yeah. It's something that, especially because you guys met when you were in your young 20s, it sounds like. I just turned 40 this year. You don't look a day over 25. Yeah, right. My girlfriend, she's the same age and she's had a very successful career on her own for the last 20 years. I've had my business- Which by the way, that doesn't surprise me. Why? That you would choose someone like that.

I felt like I needed a true partner. You know, that was. That's what I said, right? Yeah, I felt like I needed a true partner that was resourceful on her own, you know? And if she ends up making more than me, I'm like, cool, make it. Sick, please.

Make it, you know, that's, we're doing well then. Retire me. And I want her to thrive i want her to make as much money as she can so it's like the fact that she's been resourceful for 20 years of building her career she really started her career when she was like 16 um in the acting world so i'm like awesome and i remember saying like listen you know early in early in dating i was like you know how do you feel about money on, early in dating, I was like, you know, how do you feel about money in a relationship? And we were talking about like what marriage would look like early on

as our, as us dating, like, okay, do you want to be married? Do you want to have kids? And we're having those questions and I go, listen, like, what's your thoughts on like, you know, what if we didn't work out and we were married? She's like, listen, your money is yours. She said this to me early on. She was like, your business, your money is yours. I'm not dating you or wanting to be in a committed relationship with you long-term or married because if it doesn't work out, I want your business. And it gave me a lot of peace, like emotional, mental peace,

being like, oh, my money is mine and her money is hers. I'm not trying to take her IP for the last 20 years either. I don't want your life's work if we don't work out. And so it gave me a lot of peace early on in the relationship to talk about those things. We didn't say, okay, we're going to have a prenup and all these things, but we were just talking about money early on, which makes it a little less stressful. I think that's helpful to have these conversations. I love this approach to prenup. I've got about 10, 15 more minutes I want to talk to you to be mindful of time.

I feel like I could talk another two hours on this stuff. But I wanted to ask you about the job market right now. And it seems like a lot of people are getting laid off. You know, these mass layoffs at big companies. And there's uncertainty financially with where the economy is going, what we already talked about. What do you think people can do to set themselves up for success or protect themselves at their current company to ensure that they're not one of those mass layoffs, either in the near future or sometime in the future afterwards? And how can they start to predict if they might be someone who is going to get laid off?

Yeah. So you want to make yourself essentially irreplaceable. And the way to do that is to make yourself a key point of failure. to make yourself a key point of failure. So this is something that like big consulting firms go and find. Really? Key points of failure. It's something like the one IT guy who has all the passwords or the one social media manager who is the only person

who knows where the analytics folder is. Right. Like you want to be that, right? You want to make sure that this business cannot operate without you. So what if a business is already smart enough? They're like, okay, we have backups for everything. We have processes in order. What if they've already got that process?

Most businesses are. So I think it's finding a way to make yourself indispensable by still being a key point of failure in that like, oh, I am on the sales team. I'm the number one gal. I'm the number one guy. If they lost me, they would lose 25% of the year's revenue. Because guess what?

You're not gone. You're never going to be gone. They will hold on to you until the very end. If you're bringing in money and revenue and growth, you are hard to replace. Hard to replace. Hard to replace. Then there's other people who have jobs that are considered cost center. So you cost the business money. And in some situations, it's very much necessary. maybe the person who fixes everybody's computers does not create revenue for the business. But if the one IT guy gets fired, like- We're screwed. Like my laptop blows up. How do I get a new laptop? I don't know. You know, top sales-

You can't get on the Wi-Fi. Yeah. The top salesperson cannot log in. What happens? Like it completely creates a point of failure. So you want to make sure that you can be that person, be the go-to guy, be the go-to gal. And creating that indispensable nature is how you provide yourself job security. Being the best at what you do, really. I think we also need to just be honest. I ask everybody to ask for a raise every single year, but you need to lean back and really ask yourself, do I deserve this? Am I actually working hard? Am I actually producing good work?

Because a lot of people aren't. They're not. They're not. Yeah. They're coasting. If you're cutting out of work at 3 PM every day and you were doing the bare minimum, you're going to be on the chopping block. You should know that. And- Why do people expect to get big raises or big, you know, pay increases by just

doing the bare minimum? Why do you think people think they deserve a 10% raise for just doing the job minimum? Well, in recent years, because of how the job market's been, it's been a employee's market, meaning there was always another company that was willing to hire. There was this massive COVID boom, actually, where it was the great resignation. People were leaving jobs left, right, and center because they could get paid more somewhere else. And now... You think it's going to go back the other way. Right now it's doing this. It's coming back in. And you have to be good at your job. Let me be clear.

Again, those A-plus employees, they're still leaving jobs. They're still going to new places. They're still getting paid. And they always will be. Because if you're really good, there will always be somewhere and somebody who wants you. But for people who are doing the bare minimum, it's harder to hide now. Because when things at the top and, you know, the bottom line revenue is not so frothy, they have to trim fat. And if you're doing the bare minimum, you're going to be the

first on the chopping block. So I think it's important about making yourself indispensable and actually doing good work. But in terms of prepping for a layoff, again, I think it's important to have that emergency fund. I've made content about this, but just check those warn notices every so often. often basically if you just google your state and war notice warn w-a-r-n one notice a war notice warn act um it is basically any corporation with over a certain number of employees needs to give notice when they're doing a mass layoff lots Lots of companies try and skirt this by getting rid of a slightly odd number below the threshold or giving just enough time,

whatever, but just check. I think it's important just to have an eye out and be like, oh, wow, okay. A lot of companies in the hotel and hospitality space are laying off a bunch of employees. My employer's not on this list, but I might be soon. Who knows? Yeah. What skills should employees be developing throughout the year or years at a career or multiple careers? What can they develop to make themselves more indispensable?

Besides just like, okay, I'm doing the job and I'm showing up and doing it, but should I be taking classes? Should I be learning public speaking? Should I be some other skills learning to make myself more desirable at the current job or on another place? Yeah. I think every job, being good at your technical skills is great, but you want to have transferable skills. And these are the sauce skills. Bring it.

What is it? What is it? Tell me. Just, again, it goes back to those have transferable skills. And these are the sauce skills. Bring it. What is it? What is it? Tell me. Just, again, it goes back to those fork and knife skills. Yes. You want to be able to have a conversation with just about anyone. Yes. You want to be able to make someone feel special.

And I feel so lucky because after my stint on Wall Street, I went and worked at a media company in strategy sales. Wall Street, I went and worked at a media company in strategy sales. And let me tell you, sales, that is another beast because you eat what you kill. And I got some sales training that my company obviously paid thousands and thousands of dollars for. And I don't remember any of it except for one thing w-i-i-f-m so you guess what that means w-i-i-f-m f-m i was thinking what if something but i'm not sure. Okay. So you got the W. What? What's in it for me? Ah, yeah. So we always know what we want, what's in it for us, but what's in it for me for the other person?

Why do they need to help you do that thing? And this is how I always get what I want. I, no, no. Think about it. I always think at the other end of the table, what's in it for that person? Yeah. It's like the prenup. It's a prenup.

What's in it for your fiance? What's in it for my fiance? What's in it for, I'll talk about you. I know that you have a very, very successful podcast, but what's in it for you interviewing me? You want a lot of people to listen to this. You want to get those charitable numbers up. You want to get those, you know, charitable numbers up.

You want to be up the ranks. You want a big social splash. You want all of these things. And I position myself in a certain way to make those things happen. If I go to the car dealership, I'm like, okay, it's the end of the month. It's the end of October.

I'm going to go. I'm going to ask for the floor mats. I'm going to do all of these things. But I'm like, but what's in it for that guy? That guy's getting a commission because it's the end of the month and they need to make their number. They want to hit their quota. They want to get the kicker and they get paid upon delivery. So I'm going to go four days before the end of the month and I'm going to have to buy, you know, an as-is car on the lot. But I think about what's in it for them. That's cool. When I'm at a gate and my flight's been delayed and I'm mad and I'm angry, I'm like, this gate agent wants to kill me.

She does not like me. She doesn't want to help me. What can I say that is going to make her want to help me? So maybe it's, hey, I know you've got a crazy crowd control thing happening going on. When do you think we are going to have an answer? If not, I would like to just rebook my flight. That way I can get out of your hair. And then they're like, oh, okay, this person has already thought through solutions. I can just ABC pick one for them. Whichever one that I think is going to make the most sense based on what I think the plane's going to arrive to the gate

versus what's going on. No gate agent wants to answer that question because it's always bad news. You're always going to be mad. I know. So think about what's in it for me. What's in it for them? Man, I'm excited about this.

Rich AF, the winning money mindset that will change your life. Make sure you guys get a, a few copies of this, uh, give them to your friends. Um, if you want to learn how to really maximize your earnings to get more out of your current job, your career, if you want to understand the difference between savings accounts, investing, all these different things, the, the, the, the technical side of things here as well. If you want to learn more tax strategies, legal loopholes, it's all in here. Make sure to check it out. You've also got an amazing podcast

that I want people to check out as well. We'll have all these things linked up. That's called Net Worth and Chill. Net Worth and Chill. You've got Your Rich BFF. You've got so many different things. Your social media is great. I love seeing your content online,

your TikTok, your Instagram. We'll have all that linked up. What else can we do to be of service to you today? Besides get a copy of the book, check out your content, all the things. Yeah. So you can get a pre-order copy of Rich AF at richaf.me.

Yes, I made the URL a manifestation. And you can find me on social as yourrichbff. But if there is one favor that you can do for me that I would so, so appreciate is just talk to your friends about money. I love that. Because we've been told for so long that it's taboo and tacky and you are doing nobody any favors except for big old corporations when you keep that information hidden. When you hold that shame, let me tell you, when you talk to your friend about money and they make more than you, they don't suddenly make less for having told you. But you now know and you can go and ask

your boss for more. So please, please talk to your friends about money. That's beautiful. I think the earlier you can speak about money and make it more of a common practice as just having a conversation over coffee and just relaxing, it will be less stressful in the future. It doesn't have to be an icky topic. It doesn't have to be. I love that. Vivian, this is powerful. I've got two final questions for you. This is a question I ask everyone towards the end. It's called the three truths, hypothetical question and scenario. Imagine you get to live as long as you want, but it's your last day. So you live as long as you want in this life, but we're at the last day of your life. Okay.

Can be a hundred something years old, 200. Okay. But has my body deteriorated? You're still in perfect health. Okay, great. You know? Yeah. You still look great.

Okay, great. You're filthy rich. You've accomplished everything you want to accomplish.'ve got a beautiful life family everything you want it's happened but it's the last day and you've got to take all of your work with you to the next place so the book is gone this interview is gone everything you've ever created for whatever reason it's gone but you get to leave behind three lessons in the world and this is all we have to But you get to leave behind three lessons in the world. And this is all we have to remember you by.

I call it three truths. What would be that for you? Wow. Okay. Wasn't prepared for that one. That is an excellent question. I would say the first, always buy them the chicken parm. And this has to, you know, there's a little bit of an explanation behind this. I the chicken parm and this has to you know there's a little bit of an explanation behind this i love chicken parm it's incredible okay so the first amazing chicken parm

here in la oh really amazing chicken parm yeah um the first guy i worked for on wall street my boss's boss was this super italian guy like just the most Italian, Italian man you've ever seen. And he told me one day, he was like, Viv, you always got to buy them the chicken parm. And I'm like, sir, I'm lactose intolerant.

What are you talking about? I'm vegan. I'm like, I don't even eat cheese. But what he meant by that was every so often out of just the random kindness of his heart, he would buy a bunch of chicken parms

and he would dish them out to the people on our team. And then, you know, the guys on IT, the guys in the back office, the guys in the middle office. And, you know, he must be spending like almost $1,000 on chicken parm. And he meant by like just treat people with kindness, not because, you know, you have to, but because you want to and then when he ever had an issue those people came running to his desk yeah if multiple people were having issues they only ran to his desk because he had genuinely treated them with kindness when it didn't serve

him when it was just a random wednesday he would be like, oh, how's your kid's little league game going? And took a genuine interest in people. And to your point of being interesting and asking questions, just being kind. I think that's really important. That's cool. Okay, that's the first one. That's a good one. I would say if you are a woman, just know yourself and know your worth.

I think we compete a lot with other women because we have that scarcity mindset. And we think that another person's success is our downfall. And that, you know, if you're number one on the podcast charts, it means I'm not number one. Okay? But there's always room for more people to succeed. Like, there's enough white space for all of us to get there. For all of us to have what we want and get what we need. And I think it took me a very long time to learn that.

I would always be like, if that girl has XYZ, I can't have it. Like, I need to do this. It was just like so unhealthy. So I think it's more of like knowing yourself, knowing your worth and not being unnecessarily competitive. I think there's a little healthy competition and everything. But don't let it be to the detriment of, you know, your mental health or like anything in your life. And then, you know,

just, I think the third one is don't kill the golden goose. You have that on your shoes. Oh my God. No, don't do people kind of shoes. I'm wearing. No,

it says golden goose. Yeah, it does. So not sponsored by the golden goose shoe brand, but I would like to be. The old fable is that, and I'm sure you've heard it, right? Go ahead, Sarah. Okay. A farmer's wife, they have this goose, and every single day this goose lays a golden egg. And they're like, oh my gosh, like a little nugget of gold. They're like, this is so weird, all the other geese are doing this. But like, this gold is amazing. Like, we now have this little pellet of gold they're like this so weird all the other geese are doing this but like this gold is amazing like we now have this little pellet of gold i wish we had more and so every day they get a little egg of gold and they're like well it's not you know happening fast enough we

should kill the goose and that way the inside of the goose will be entirely gold we'll be able to get it all at once and we'll sell it so they slaughter this goose and the inside of the goose is a regular goose body and there's not a single piece of gold and i think this is a bigger metaphor of like life of us always wanting the next big thing wanting more but like i am a big big like this is a problem i have um i currently have the life that i prayed for a couple months ago and sometimes i don't get to enjoy it sometimes i'm not even enjoying it and that's sad i think we need to not kill the golden goose enjoy those little nuggets of gold that we get every single day. And it's okay to want to work for more and strive for more, but don't ruin a good thing just because you're always trying to hit the next milestone.

They'll come, but you could completely lose this entire journey if you don't take a second to stop and roses and stop and smell the roses. Yeah, that's beautiful. I love those are probably the most unique three truths I've heard. I like that. Before I ask the final question, Vivian, I want to acknowledge you for your realness. I love this conversation. I love connecting. Was I too honest? I hope. I love it. I think it's amazing. So I'm excited to connect with you and to share this message and hopefully connect more and have you back on and learn more about your stuff. So I acknowledge you for sharing this in your authentic way.

I think seeing people like you with the history and the background you have, be as honest and real as you are is really inspiring. So I really acknowledge you for showing up authentic to you and not trying to fit in some mold of, I don't know, some type of financial expert that you might think of. So I'm really glad that you're doing it your way and teaching it your way. And I think it's really inspiring.

Final question, what's your definition of greatness? I would say greatness is being so in your own lane, so far ahead you don't even know you're running a race. And I think that comes with having your own value system, understanding your own definition of success, not being worried about what other people think and say of you, doing what you love and really striving every single day to live in a way that little you would be proud of. I hope today's episode inspired you on your journey towards greatness. Make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a rundown of today's show with all the important links.

And if you want weekly exclusive bonus episodes with me as well as ad-free listening experience, make sure to subscribe to our Greatness Plus channel on Apple Podcast. If you enjoyed this, please share it with a friend over on social media or text a friend. please share it with a friend over on social media or text a friend. Leave us a review over on Apple Podcasts and let me know what you learned over on our social media channels at Lewis Howes. I really love hearing the feedback from you and it helps us continue to make the show better. And if you want more inspiration from our world-class guests and content

to learn how to improve the quality of your life, then make sure to sign up for the Greatness Newsletter and get it delivered right to your inbox over at greatness.com slash newsletter. And if no one has told you today, I want to remind you that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter. And now, it's time to go out there and do something great.