The School of Greatness - The Most Inspiring Story About Mindset & Perseverance You'll Ever Hear EP 1359

Episode Date: December 7, 2022

Nick Lavery, born and raised in Massachusetts, is an active-duty member of The United States Army Special Forces. Commonly known as the Green Berets, the Special Forces perform critical missions including direct action, counterinsurgency, foreign internal defense, special reconnaissance, and unconventional warfare. In 2013, on Nick's second combat rotation to Afghanistan, he and his Detachment fell victim to an insider attack ultimately resulting in the loss of his leg. Following a year of surgeries and initial recovery including the use of a prosthetic at Walter Reed National Medical Military Center, he returned to his unit. Refusing a military medical retirement, Nick set his sights on returning to operational status. In 2015, at the conclusion of a challenging, comprehensive assessment designed to evaluate Nick's abilities to operate, he returned to his Detachment and was subsequently deployed once again to Afghanistan conducting full spectrum combat operations. Nick is considered the first Special Forces operator to return to combat as an above-the-knee amputee. Nick is currently serving as a Special Forces Warrant Officer and Assistant Detachment Commander and is widely recognized as an experienced subject matter expert in special operations, intelligence fusion, and mission planning and execution across all operational continuums. He is also the first amputee in military history to complete the Special Forces Warrant Officer Technical and Tactical Certification course, the Special Operations Combatives Program Instructor course, and the Combat Diver Qualification course. Nick's awards include the Silver Star, three Purple Hearts, two Bronze Stars, Bronze Star with “V” for valor, Defense Meritorious Service Medal, two Meritorious Service Medals, Joint Service Commendation Medal, Joint Service Achievement Medal, two Army Commendation Medals, Army Achievement Medal, the OSS Society Peter Ortiz Award, the Bruce Price Leadership Award, and the Special Operations Command Excalibur Award. Nick is a warrior, leader, athlete, student, author and most importantly a husband and father of two young boys.Check out Nick’s book, Objective Secure: The Battle-Tested Guide to Goal Achievement, here!In this episode you will learn:The steps it takes to become a great leader.Why gratitude is your greatest tool to overcoming adversity. The significance of having a meaningful mission for your life.Methods you can implement to achieve any goal. For more, go to lewishowes.com/1359

Human beings are not creatures of logic, we're creatures of emotion, as Dale Carnegie puts it. You are not going to be emotionless. Like, you're not a robot, you're not a machine, you're a human being. A warrior is one that can recognize. Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, a former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin. Why would you want to go back into combat after losing your leg? That's a great question, man.

It's layered. I'll say kind of on the cusp of that is I'm stubborn. I'm competitive. As much as I enjoy winning, I really hate losing more so. And there's a difference, as you know. Sure. So the idea of my future being dictated by anyone or anything other than me was something that just didn't sit well with me laying in the hospital.

Taking it a little bit deeper is passion and purpose. Two terms that get thrown around a lot. Different interpretations, perhaps, from individual. around a lot, different interpretations perhaps from individual. I'll say that I have recognized the passion I have, not for being a Green Beret, but for earning my Green Beret every single day, like a love of the game, a passion of the game. And then a deep sense of purpose, you know, like what is your why? Like answering that question, what is your soul pulling you towards? A deep connection with this lifestyle and having realized that I was put on this earth to be a warrior and to pledge allegiance to a society in which I'll protect at all costs.

Wow. So I know that that's who I am. So it really didn't give me an alternative option. Sure. And how long does it take usually to enter in the Green Beret and to be in that community? And how many members are there active Green Beret? The process can take usually somewhere between 12 and 18 months of training to be able to do that

for the special forces aspect of that in particular. That really doesn't include basic training, airborne school, some of these other qualifications you have to have prior to, yes sir. So it might take a couple of years first, and then 12 to 18 months after all the basic training and the certification. Right, once you go into selection,

Special Forces assessment and selection, which is now about a 20 day process to determine if an individual has the physical and psychological and character traits that could make a good Green Beret. From that point moving forward, it's about 12 to 18 months. How many current members are there? Current members? Oh, man, I'd have to.

What's the range? Is it thousands? Is it tens of thousands? Is it hundreds? No, no, no. We're probably talking somewhere around 8,000. 8,000. Yeah, 7 to 8.

7 to 8,000. Don't quote me on that. Yeah, somewhere around there. It's an extraordinarily small number compared to the overall military. How many are in total active military? What's like the- The entire Department of Defense military? Around 2 million.

2 million. So 7,000 roughly out of 2 million. Somewhere around there, yeah. Wow. Yeah, we make up, it's like 0.07%. Wow. It's inspiring. And what does it take to sustain it and stay in that community?

Do you have to hit certain benchmarks every year to be a part of it? Or can people drop off? Yeah, I mean, it is possible for individuals to come into Special Forces as a Green Beret and then leave or go somewhere else for a reason. It's extraordinarily rare for that to happen. And then our career progression model is based off of our performance, our annual evaluations, just like any other soldier. Wow. And what is required of Green Beret? What is put upon you that's different than everyone else in the military?

Yeah, it's a good question, man. So the Army Special Forces, we specialize in unconventional warfare. That's our primary mission. And there's a lot that goes into what that means, the sexy term. There's a lot that goes into that. To break it down in more simple terms, we are teachers. We're complex problem solvers, we're advisors, and we're force multipliers. That term means that you can take a 12-man SFODA, which stands for Special Forces Operational Detachment Alpha,

you can take a Special Forces ODA, put them anywhere in the world, under any circumstances, and we will create a much larger fighting force. Wow. Hence the term force multiplier. So we all have to have a certain working knowledge and level of expertise in foreign language, geopolitics, regional dynamics, culture, right? So it goes beyond the cool guy stuff, the jumping out of planes and kicking down doors and shooting bad guys in the face, which we all enjoy doing. It's, you have to have a high degree of maturity, intelligence, trustworthiness, um, because we're a self-sufficient

element that is designed to get dropped off somewhere and thrive on their own. Um, not just unilaterally, meaning just us doing things ourselves, but with other human beings. You don't really send a Green Beret or an SF team somewhere to do something by themselves. We have other aspects of the military and special operations that are designed to conduct missions themselves. You sent us someplace because you need a larger fighting force, but you don't want to risk putting in additional Americans. Interesting. So you would go and join another group to support making it bigger.

You wouldn't go alone and just take over and do a mission by yourselves. Is that right? That would be extraordinarily rare for us to do something by ourselves. And the degree in which we have to find, train, advise, lead our partnered force can change from area to area and dynamic to dynamic. There are situations where we have to literally find these humans from the very beginning. There are other scenarios where that's already been done before and we come in and we just take ownership of this group of people that's already been established and vetted and trained to a degree and then we take them and run with them to conduct our missions. What would you say are your top three skills as an individual in the military that you've developed, trained, and mastered personally, individually? For myself, top three skills.

Communication comes to mind really fast, both verbally and written. If you're unsuccessful or unable to do that, it's going to be really difficult to accomplish anything, especially as a Green Beret. We live in the relationship business. We live in the relationship and the rapport business. So if you're unable to communicate with another human being,

that's mission failure. So communication is certainly there. Complex problem solving. I would say most Green Berets are somewhat natural or have at least a bit of talent in that. Being able to look at a problem and then kind of rapidly assess current situation, desired end state, what

resources do I have available? But learning the methodologies and philosophies and tools that they teach us to be able to do that faster and at a higher rate is something that I would put on that list as well. And then I'll close it off by saying what's probably most important, that's leadership. And whether you're talking internal or if we're conducting an evaluation of a potential militia group that we want to work alongside of, one of, if not the first things we look at is, what does their leadership dynamic look like? Because that will make or destroy any organization. So it wasn't until I was in the military, almost embarrassingly, kind of a far

along my military career that I realized that leadership is very much a skill. Whereas my preconceived notion was that it was a talent. It was a gift. Like you either had it or you didn't. You were born with it. Exactly. Some of you were born with it or you weren't. You're either born charismatic, social, outgoing, but it's very much a skill. Just like shooting free throws. To get good at that, you have to do it a whole bunch. What does it take to be a great leader? And who is a leader that taught you?

Either by example or by communicating those skills that you need to acquire. Yeah, I think to be able to train on it first requires knowledge, which can be received via reading or interacting with another solid leader. In fact, even interacting with a horrible leader, you oftentimes learn more. What not to do. What not to do. Those are phenomenal lessons. But then being very deliberate about how you employ that day to day. It's not just going to happen on phenomenal lessons. But then being very deliberate about how you employ that day to day. It's not just going to happen on its own. You're not just going to automatically start shooting free throws. You have to walk to the free throw line,

think about what you're doing and actually do it. So just being very specific about going into your day knowing I'm going to exercise and practice on these aspects of leadership throughout my day, week, month, et cetera. The first resource I stumbled upon when I recognized that leadership was a skill and one that I needed work in was Jocko Willink, someone we were just talking about offline. I found him, I read a lot of his stuff, and then I began consuming John Maxwell as well. He's great. Right. So kind of looking at those models, those would be my kind of my one-two punch where,

you know, Jocko is very blunt and direct and at the tactical level. And it's very simple, which I love. He doesn't overcomplicate things. John's work tends to get a little bit more conceptual at times and at a larger scale where it's a full-blown philosophy as well. So I've leveraged the lessons by those two guys who I consider mentors. And I keep just visual cues of some of their stuff

around me throughout the day, just as a reminder. What are the three key attributes you see of the best leaders in the military? What do they do? How do they show up differently than average leaders? I'll steal Jocko's word, which is ownership or accountability is absolutely essential. You know, everything that goes well is because the team made it go well. Everything that goes wrong is because you

failed as a leader. And just owning that, I think is essential. Providing consistent value, I think is a real simple way to describe how to go about being a leader. And I really like those three particular words because you're saying provide, meaning you're giving yourself to someone or a group of people. You are really of service to those that you lead, right? You work for them. You are providing consistent, which means if you just do it for a day, it's not going to matter. You have to live this, live this, provide consistent and value. If I'm either making you as an individual better day-to-day, making myself better day-to to day, making the organization better day to day, I'm providing value to those that I serve in the organization in which we represent. So provide consistent value. to say values and having a solid degree of self-awareness on our own values for one, and then knowing that others are likely going to be different. And one of the most critical

components to successfully influencing someone else is knowing their values. And that may not be the same for you, but it's about them. What do they see to be important? And that typically happens through dialogue and asking a lot of questions rather than coming in and saying, I'm a leader,

which means I need to tell you what to do. It's like, that sounds more like a boss to me. Leadership means you get a sense of those in which you are attempting to influence, therefore lead, to being able to know their strengths, weaknesses, values, and how you can provide them that to guide everyone in the same direction. I like that. That's powerful. Let's talk about the story of what happened to you with your leg. Let's do it. When was it? What was happening? What can you share about it? And when did you know you were going to lose your leg?

So this was in March of 2013. We were on the back end of a six-month deployment in Afghanistan. So we were set to leave in a couple of weeks. And this was actually the third time I was wounded in combat on that one deployment. You mentioned three Purple Hots. Those were all earned on the same deployment. So you got hurt twice before. Twice before. In that deployment and you stayed and kept fighting.

Yeah. Holy cow. Yeah. First time I took some shrapnel, some grenade shrapnel to the back of my shoulder. You just dusted off? It just, man. Yeah.

I mean, it blew about a lemon-sized hole. Oh, my gosh. It required some treatment. What does that feel like when you get a grenade shrapnel in your back? Like someone hit you with a sledgehammer. Oh, my gosh. It's not like a penetrating feeling. It's more of just impact.

Just boom. Yeah, just boom. Hear the boom, feel the impact, look back, and there's a massive hole in the back of my shoulder. Come on Yeah Holy cow. Now. Do you are you wearing like? You know protection or it just goes right through it. No, it just went around it Yeah, so hit the shoulder not like the backpack, right? So what we're what we're amid plates that covers our front and our back

Sometimes if we're doing what we're supposed plates that covers our front and our back sometimes if we're doing what we're supposed to do we wear side plates but it's heavy and it's kind of uncomfortable right so you're like yeah let's take off the side not advised a lot of us do it holy cow but the shoulders tend to stay pretty much exposed so you took some you probably took some of the back but it it blocked it possibly maybe but then it hit here yeah and you saw just a big yeah one massive hole and then some smaller ones as well. There's actually still some shrapnel that they left in my shoulder. Come on.

Because it was less intrusive to go in and take it out. So I'll set off metal detectors. My gosh. So the hole, how do they... Do they sew it back on or the skin's gone or what are they... No, it's a good question because in order to treat something like that, you can't sew it shut because it will leave an open cavity, which is prone for infection.

Ah, gotcha. So they pack it with this antiseptic gauze about three or four times a day. Oh my gosh. So it gradually closes from the inside out. It kind of grows back and flattens or whatever, right? Yep. Interesting.

Yeah, so I did get medically evacuated to one of the Laja bases after that happened. Hours after I was actually wounded. We got the situation under control. We ended up back at our camp. My medic took a look at it. And he's like, yeah, let's get you in front of a doctor just to be safe. I got sent out.

But after about a week, I was back with the team. It heals up. Heals up. Enough. Yeah, yeah. I mean, it was still healing when I was back to conduct admissions. I'd bleed. It heals up. Enough. Yeah, yeah. I mean, it was still healing when I was back to conduct the missions.

I'd bleed through my gauze. Sure, sure. But it really wasn't that big of a deal. Okay, so that was the first time. The second time? First time, second time was about a month later. I took an AK-47 right out of the face. Oh my gosh, dude, that's intense.

Which, yeah, it sounds a lot worse than it really was, man. I got really lucky. It just grazed. Okay, just a little. Did it sounds a lot worse than it really was, man. I got really lucky. It just grazed. Okay, just a little. Did it hit the ear or did it just? No, it just grazed right here. I see the line there, yeah. Yeah.

So it didn't hit the ear? It did not. It just kind of like went above it or something? Yeah. Holy cow, because I could have taken the ear off. Could have taken the ear off, could have taken my cheek off. So it was right here. I see the scar.

Yeah. I mean, a half an inch over, it goes through your head. Yeah, and I'm probably dead. Oh my gosh. So real lucky. And the timeline was relatively the same. I mean, it did clip an artery, so I did lose quite a bit of blood,

but this was in the event where six of my friends were badly wounded in a IED that decimated their vehicle. So I went out out eventually got treatment they happened to be a plastic surgeon who was a army reservist who was deployed who was there who treated me which is why it looks as you look great good as it does right wow um i was again i was out of the fight maybe four or five days and then i was back my gosh with the guys so this is back to back within a month yeah six weeks two injuries yeah yeah okay and then back to work and then when did the leg happen and then a few months later again tail end of the trip was uh was when the third time i

was wounded happened and we were about to go on a mission and we had a bunch of different units, Afghan units, we were working with that particular day. Local units? Yeah, Afghan National Army, we had Afghan National Police. Our dedicated partner force, like we talked about, was an Afghan Special Operations Commando Unit that lived with us. But depending on the mission, sometimes we would go with much a bigger package we would bring in some of these conventional forces and this day was one of those and uh one of the afghan national police officers as we were finishing our mission brief all just kind of outside in a big group he jumped up on the back of a for Ranger that had a truck mounted belt fed machine gun

and he opened fire into us. Wait, who was this? This was a Afghan national police officer that we were working with. So he turned on us. Why? It's a fair question, man. And this is an important part of really the process,

but the Taliban at the time had discovered a really successful tactic. And they would walk into the home of an individual who had access to us and say, here's the deal. We're either going to brutalize your entire family and then slaughter them in front of you and then kill you. Or you go do this for us. Oh, my gosh. You're dead either way. But if you do this, not only will we spare your family,

but we'll make sure they're taken care of for the rest of their lives. And what makes this tactic successful is they actually follow through on that. So those family members are actually taken care of. They'll hear about this from other family members taken care of. Exactly. So it builds up the credibility of this tactic. So you die right now or you go do this and you die. And they kill you. But your family will be okay. Oh my gosh.

And I say this. You've been building rapport with this person for you know a year or months right? Yeah. I actually taught him how to use the machine gun.

Oh my gosh. That he shot us with. Holy cow. Which is added to the frustration of it. So how many, I mean, how many people did he injure that day? 12 Americans, three of which were killed. Oh my gosh. And then another eight or so Afghans. That he killed also? Killed and wounded. Yep. Holy cow. So it's considered the most catastrophic insider attack that we know of since 9-11, if not prior to that.

That one event. Yeah. Holy cow. Catastrophic. With the bustling holiday season well underway, ready-to-eat meal delivery can lend a helping hand and factor shops, preps, cooks, and delivers to your door so So you can enjoy chef crafted dietitian approved meals during the holidays, minus the hassle with 34 meals per week, including gourmet plus keto calorie,

smart vegan and veggie and over 36 weekly add ons. You'll have plenty of nutritious, flavorful options to choose from factors, fresh, never frozen meals. It makes it easy to fuel up when your schedule is jam packed. Their meals are delivered ready to heat and eat in just two minutes. Enjoy flavorful, chef-crafted meals like their creamy Parmesan chicken and three-bean vegan chili for cheaper than dining out or takeout.

Factor has everything you need for a week of flavorful, nutritious meals. In addition to ready-to-eat meals, they have cold-pressed juices, smoothies, energy bites, extra protein, veggie sides, and more. And I've had some of these Factor meals. I'm loving them. And I'm a big fan of the Keto Monterey Spinach Chicken. It is delicious. Make sure to head to go.factor75.com slash greatness60 and use code greatness60 to get 60% off your first box. That's code GREATNESS60 at go.factor75.com

slash GREATNESS60 to get 60% off your first box. So how many bullets did you take? It'd be around four or five to my right leg. I took one to my lower left leg. around four or five to my right leg. I took one to my lower left leg. My scrotum was lacerated by either a round or from some debris, but most of the damage was to my right leg. And that was really obvious. And once I realized that my femoral artery had been cut, which I could tell the amount of volume of blood that I was losing. Oh my gosh. Just pumping out a river. Oh.

I knew I had maybe eight or so minutes. To live. To live. Unless I got that pinched off completely, which is really tough to do without doing it internally. Like, right. You've got to- Like tourniquets, especially on a really- A thick leg. Needy thigh. It's really tough to get enough pressure on that externally to truly pinch off that bleed.

Although I did put a tourniquet on myself, and then I put a second tourniquet on myself, and then one of my teammates got to me. And I remember trying to fight him off of me to go work on someone else because I knew I was dying. Oh, my gosh. I knew I was dying. There was no question in my mind, like this is where it's gonna end. You're doing a poor job of triage right now

because there are others that are down that have a higher probability of survivability and you're wasting moments on me. Holy cow. So I'm trying to get my boy Jason off of me and he's ignoring me and he puts on a third tourniquet. He gets some IV access for some blood or for meds or whatever may have to happen. And then, you know, we said goodbye for the last time. And, uh, and he went off to, to get a lot of work to do. So I'm laying

there. I got three tourniquets on my leg and my FEMA is completely completely shattered so i pick i grab my leg and i pick it up and i can still see blood seeping out oh my gosh and my leg looks like hamid meat at this point it looked like a shock had gotten a hold of it the exposed bone and tissue it's just a mess and i'm still leaking and i'm like all right man time is getting really low. Have I done everything I can do? And the answer was I hadn't. So I grabbed some gauze out of my kit, ball it up into what we call a power ball, which really just gives gauze a little bit of density. I loosen up one of the tourniquets and I just ram this up into my thigh. And I'm kind of reaching up towards my pelvis, towards my hip. In the bone area, in the... Inside the leg, right?

So I'm in one of the wounds. Oh my God. But is the shock so intense that the adrenaline's taking over that you're not feeling the pain? Here's where I felt the pain, yeah. Now you're like, oh, it's in the nerve. This was the first time because I'm scraping past shattered femur. And now I'm on the verge of going unconscious because the pain is like surging through my face and I'm just saying man you know stay awake focus you can find it so I'm trying to

find the femoral artery which we do these types of things in training I've never done it on myself and I realized that when you're losing that much blood your blood shunts inwards from your extremities to try to protect your organs for as long as possible. So I'm dealing with these kind of meetings. Oh yeah. No dexterity, numb. It's like the blood's rushing down this way. Right. Yeah. It's not, I can't really feel much. Um, but I think I feel a pulse. I just kind of go for it. I ram down as hard as I can. I feed the rest of the gauze in on top of it.

I re-secure the tourniquet on top of that. And then I blacked out. And I just happened to get extraordinarily lucky because I nailed the femoral artery. And I know this because I was on the ground for 90 minutes before I could get on a helicopter. Another 90 minutes. So if you wanted to put it in there,

there's no way you survive. No way. No, no, no. No shot. And the reason why it took 90 minutes is because when this guy cracked off that gun on us, that was the initiation of a complex ambush. Oh, sure.

So enemy fighters were all around opposition. They began firing rockets and machine gun. How did you not get like blown, you know, even more? Did someone kill the person that turned against you quickly? One of my teammates took him out in probably eight or nine seconds. But he had done the damage from the machine guns. Yeah. And so you're on the ground doing this.

He's dead. He's dead. He's gone. So you're not getting shot at at least you can kind of like you're not also having to you know defend yourself no i mean we were being engaged from outside of our perimeter but not in there but no i wasn't receiving effective accurate fires yes yes so while i was working on myself you can hear stuff in the distance but it's not shooting next to you correct so the rest of the guys were dealing with the fight outside of our compound um which is why it took 90 minutes for the medevac

bird to be able to land because they're not going to risk the bird no which they can't so eventually my guys got that situation under control medevac bird comes down i'm on the first lift me and two of my teammates i'm in desperate need of blood. We get medevaced out. And they really, they had two options. One was to send us to Bagram, which is where we had one of our biggest military bases in Afghanistan. Has a full-scale hospital,

which looks just like a hospital you'd see in the States. Every resource you could think of. But it was a father flight. So they flew us to an outstation that had what we refer to as a forward surgical team or an FST, which is kind of a hodgepodge of different medical personnel that work in a more austere environment. Plenty of capability, just it's not a hospital, but it was a faster flight. So they went with speed versus level of care, which makes a lot of sense. speed versus level of care, which makes a lot of sense.

They pulled the three of us off that bird right into the clinic and hooked us up on blood transfusions, me and my teammate, because we both were desperate for it. Well, within a couple minutes, I begin to completely crash. And they are assuming it's because of how much trauma my body had been through for now approaching almost two hours. They're like, okay, we need to get this dude to Bagram like immediately. Oh my gosh. So they throw me back on a helicopter and I'm now flying to Bagram, which is like a nine minute flight. And it's while I'm on the flight that they go to change out the blood of my teammate. And they realize

that they're giving him O positive, which is my blood type. They had given me his blood type, which is AB negative, which is extremely specific. So that was the result of me- Going to shock or shutting down? Everything shut down. Yeah. So liver, kidneys, my lungs, everything was dying because I was being pumped full of an incompatible blood type. My teammate was fine because O positive is a universal donor. You can give blood to anybody. So he's okay. But they realized what happened.

They check what they gave me and they're like, oh no. They call Bagram Hospital. I'm still airborne. And they say, hey man, we just pumped Nick full of like eight units of incompatible blood type. There's no way he survives the flight to you guys. So just be prepared to receive his body when he gets down. And you know, a lot of ways they were right because I totally coded, uh, the, the flight, the med, the med crew on that flight were getting real creative with ways to try to keep me alive. Panels, direct shots of adrenaline.

Just give another minute, give another minute. What can we do to keep the heartbeat going, keep them alive, right? Yeah. Wow. Yeah, so I get to Bagram. I guess at that point, it's like you gotta do whatever it takes, you know, to keep someone alive.

Yeah. Whatever's available, whatever tool you've got. Yeah, man. And they got some pretty amazing capabilities on what they could do. And they're willing to take enormous risks. Yeah, they have to, right? Right. Because why not? You got two minutes left or five minutes left, maybe. Sure. Wow. So you get to the hospital. Get to the ballroom, pull me off. I'm totally flatlined. That was when they took my foot off immediately. Really just try to minimize how much damage my body was trying to recover from. Are you asleep at this point? Are you awake? No, I'm out.

Okay. Yeah, I have no recollection of this. There was a bit of a pulse. They can see you breathing? No. You're not breathing? Nope. Nope. Very little pulse.

Very little pulse. But they know you're alive. They pretty much assume I'm dead. Oh my gosh. But they're still working on me. So it's more panels, blood transfusion, dialysis. I'm intubated. So a machine is breathing for me.

Holy cow. I get enough of a pulse back where I'm like barely,'s like boop you know boop but I'm like barely there and so machines were pretty much keeping me alive for ended up being like two and a half three days oh my gosh man so you're unconscious for three days oh yeah wow and then and then I you know I kind of came back after that. Three days on machines. How do they even know to take you off the battlefield after 90 minutes? How do they know you were still alive?

They don't really decipher that. I mean, at the point of injury, I still had a pulse. Got it. When my teammates loaded me on the bird, I was still alive. Okay. I actually have memories of being loaded

on that initial helicopter. So you're kind of in and out of consciousness. Wow, man, this is incredible. Yeah, yeah. So you're unconscious for three days. They're doing everything they can. They amputate the ankle first. And then when does the rest of, you know, three days later you wake up,

do they take the rest of the leg by then? What happens? Yeah, so it took five days or so total to stabilize me enough to survive a plane to Germany. So I'm in Afghanistan five days, I'm getting worked on. They fly me to Germany. They amputated my leg up to the knee in Germany. I was there just one day. And then I arrived at Walter Reed in Bethesda, Maryland, which is like the premier military hospital. And I get sent, I'm in the intensive care unit. I'm still in really rough shape. My family's there.

You're in and out of consciousness. You're awake a little bit. In and out of consciousness. But you're drugged up like crazy. Crazy. Ketamine, Dilaudid, morphine, I'm on all the drugs. So it's a wild ride I'm on. But my first legitimate thought that I had,

or my first memory I have, is the chief of orthopedics coming into the intensive care unit. And he said, hey man, my name's Dr. So-and-so, and here's your current situation. Your leg has gone up to your knee. My staff wants to take you into the operating room right now and amputate your leg at the hip because your leg is riddled with infection and any one of these bacterias could kill you. So they want to play it safe, which is really the right move to make. But I think I can save more your leg. It's just going to be a street fight and I need you in this fight with me. Oh my gosh. What'd you do? And I looked up at him and I just met this guy, right? And he's telling me that there's

bacteria that could kill me and all this stuff. And I don't think I processed most of what he said, but I do remember him saying something about getting into a street fight. And I was like, yeah, let's go do that. Yeah. Let's go. All right. Let's go do that. Get me in the fight. Let's go do that. Yeah. Let's go. I'm like, let's go do that. Get me in the fight.

Wow. So that began my process of being in surgery three, sometimes four days a week. And they would just go in and amputate more, cut out dead tissue, dead bone. And I lived that for about 35 or so surgeries. Oh my gosh, man. That seems exhausting. Yeah. You're just on drugs nonstop to just manage the pain.

Yeah, quite a bit. But it was in those moments, man, in the intensive care unit that I determined that I was going to go back to a special forces team. Crazy, man. I can still remember the moment seeing my family there with the masks and the hairnets and all the, you know, level five trauma suits and me in the intensive care unit. I can still see that and having made the decision then that I'm going back to my lifestyle. It was from the very, very beginning. Even though you didn't know if you were going to live or die? No. You made that decision.

Maybe you're on too many drugs when you're making that decision. Maybe. What do you think was the thing that got you through really a year of surgeries and recovery? And you're still recovering in some ways, you know, from the trauma, emotionally, physically, all these different things. But what allowed you to get through that mentally, that period of time to be determined enough to get back into service at full capacity? Yeah. Um, I think what enabled that was a very clearly defined and continuously refined vision of where I was going. And again, knowing that this is what I was put on this earth to do didn't allow me an alternative option. So, and I say this delicately because, you know,

I really never went down this dark path of negativity and depression and struggle mentally. Certainly countless times of frustration and anger and disappointment and all that, but I stayed generally positive and target fixated, I stayed generally positive and target fixated, I think, because I had that sense of mission. I knew what my mission was. And I say that not that it's something I'm really proud of because I don't think it's something to be ashamed of if that happens. I know some absolute warriors that have struggled at times with that.

warriors that have struggled at times with that. I just made a decision in the extraordinary early parts of this journey that this is what I was going to do. And it gave me something to grasp onto during the countless moments of doubt and second guessing myself. And when all of the off ramp justification starts sounding really convincing, it was like, no, no, no, no, stop. Wow. This is what's going to happen. Get your head back in the game and figure out this next problem. So you had to enroll yourself and other people

who were saying, hey, listen, it's okay if you need to retire. It's okay if you need to, you know, to really think about the next chapter of your life, thinking about your family, all these different things. You had to coach them essentially in saying, that's not an option, this is what we're focused on.

Yeah. Is that right? I was surrounded by that. And you know- Because they were trying to take care of you. Sure. They were trying to do their best. It comes from a place of love, man. It's not like, I don't believe in you. You're not going to be able to walk for a while. Yeah, they're thinking about that. Let's be practical. I'm looking out for what's best for

you. I was able to coach those that I was able to, or at least get into a place where they understood my mentality. But there were many that I was unsuccessful at convincing or communicating. I was unsuccessful at effectively communicating to them what my intentions were. And, you know, a lot of times the road of ambition is a lonely one, and you just have to accept that. And if you're willing to do it anyway, sometimes that's the road you're on, man. Holy cow. Yeah.

How do you think you kept your emotional strength so high under extreme pain, loss, physical loss, you know, psychological and emotional loss with fallen brothers and teammates? How did you keep your emotions, your heart at a level of some sense of peace and not get into a depressed state or a downward spiral like so many people do? Which is probably normal for people when they've lost their brothers, their teammates, their family, Which is probably normal for people when they've lost their brothers, their teammates, their family, lost a leg, potential loss of identity of being a soldier again. How did you keep your heart and your emotions in a state of calm, peace, and certainty with all this trauma? One aspect of that was being made aware of how the attack happened. The information that I explained earlier, once, once my teammates got back, they came to, they came to visit me. They told me what they had learned about the, about the I had been in, you know, a whole lot of different engagements and gun fights and the explosions. And to be killed by someone or that wounded by someone that I was working with. You trusted.

Trusted to a degree. Collaborated with. That's a better way to put it. Yeah. Was frustrating to me. I can imagine. You know. Betrayal, the hurt, all that stuff.

Yeah, betrayal. That's some powerful stuff, right? So once I was made aware of his reasoning, I was able to let go of quite a bit. And have some understanding or some type of compassion. Complete. It's hard to have compassion for someone who's doing this to you, but when you know why.

Yeah, man. He cared about his family, and he knew he was going to die. Right. Because although I didn't have the wife and kids I have now, I could empathize with that. And saying, if I'm put in that position between truly a rock and a hard place, and I have no practical way to fight this, right? Like nine guys with guns and I'm a dirt farmer in my home. I'm doing the exact same thing so i was able to like let that go um and then you know get to business and you ask you know how

and i'll just i'll sum it up into one word because it's the only one i can i can think of to explain it and it's faith you know which certainly has a strong religious and biblical feel to it. However, a definition of faith being a firm belief in something for which there is no proof. And I just felt it in my heart and my soul as I was laying in the hospital bed and as I began doing early phase physical therapy.

And once I originally got my first prosthetic, I just had this belief that this is possible. It's never been done before, but that doesn't make it impossible. I just have to figure out how to go about doing it. And I mentioned Green Berets are somewhat natural problem solvers. And then we become highly trained problem solvers. This became the greatest problem that I needed to solve. And I just leveraged everything I had learned as, you know, certainly an athlete in college, but more so as a Green Beret working on a team and being tasked to do these things. I leveraged those lessons and I leveraged the people that I had the chance to work with More so as a Green Beret working on a team and being tasked to do these things.

I leveraged those lessons and I leveraged the people that I had the chance to work with to begin solving that. Do you think, have you seen anyone else in the military get out of a tough situation? I mean, a situation similar to like yours where they lost an arm or something happened physically to them or some of their teammates were lost. Have you seen anyone get through it in a positive, semi-healthy way, if that's possible, without faith? Have you seen people rise up against extreme adversity, whether it be physical trauma, emotional trauma, psychological trauma, with something other than faith? I'm not sure I've seen it. Do I think everyone who I know that has done that would recognize that faith or at least verbalize it that way? Probably not.

But I do think that it is a fundamental requirement depending on the degree of goal that they're trying to work towards. To overcome the adversity. When it comes to achievement, the struggle is, the size of the struggle is commensurate with the size of the goal. When it comes to achievement, the size of the struggle is commensurate with the size of the goal. When it comes to achievement, the size of the struggle is commensurate with the size of the goal. So if you are trying to overcome the greatest challenge in your particular life, whether or not it's been done before ever is irrelevant, but this is your biggest set of adversity, your greatest challenge ever. The struggle is going to then be the highest that you have ever dealt with before. And the likelihood of success is also probably the lowest it's ever been before. So to say that you can accomplish something like that without faith

seems to be unlikely. At some point, you are going to believe in what it is you're trying to do, whether or not anyone else does or not, but you believe in it. There's no proof that you're going to make it happen. There's no proof that it's possible, but you feel it and you buy into that to such a degree that you're willing to do it anyway. Yeah. I'm curious about this. It seems like there's a lot of pain and adversity people are facing in the world, whether it be pandemic or no pandemic, right? It seems like a lot of people

take on the weight of their pain or their struggle, the adversity in such a big way that it holds them back and they get stuck. When I hear your story or someone like your story, it makes the painful situations of normal civilians' lives not that big in my mind, right? If I'm comparing them. Someone was mean to me at work and I'm feeling depressed is a different type of adversity than what you faced, right? Sure. And sometimes people get so stuck in these day-to-day struggles or

pains, not to say it's not challenging for them in their season of life, but why do you think so many people suffer in their stuckness of job, career, life, purpose, and how can they start taking full ownership as opposed to making excuses or blaming everything around them as opposed to being responsible for their life? How can someone learn this? When I hear this story of you, I'm just like, what's anyone's excuse on how to overcome adversity?

Yeah, I'll start off because you mentioned this perspective is a, is a powerful tool. You mentioned comparison and whatnot, powerful tool when it's wielded or when it's weaponized appropriately. And, you know, I was in the hospital at Walter Reed for a year, lost my leg, could have easily felt really sorry for myself when I was alongside people that had, you know, they were missing all their limbs or even worse service members that had such severe traumatic brain injury that they did not recognize their wife and kids. When I'm next to that individual, this is a paper cut to me. So like that power of perspective, because I was able to weaponize the gratitude in that scenario. That's the key. Cause a lot of times I think when it comes to comparison or

perspective, it can drive people even deeper into a hole because they're saying, Hey man, like this person did this thing under these extreme circumstances. And I'm having difficulty getting up in the morning, like what's wrong with me? And it ends up being a driving factor that makes it worse, where, no, no, no, stop for a second. Be grateful for what you have, see it that way, open up your heart and your soul a little bit, say, wow, I'm really fortunate, I got a lot of great things going right now, and use that as a tool. Those that are stuck, you know, if there is not a mission that's been identified, in my opinion, it becomes extraordinarily difficult to get past the adversity, but even, and oftentimes, just to get moving. Like, what is it that you wanna do?

It sounds like a very simple question, but there's layers of difficulty built within this. Like, have you begun an internal dialogue with yourself yet at all? Have you looked in the mirror at any point in your life and said, what do you wanna do do? Who do you want to become? And I think oftentimes, and that's how it started for me, just very simple and letting the universe or God or your soul or call it whatever you want, communicate back to you on what do you want to do?

Who do you want to become? In order to make that exercise of any kind of value, one is expectation, knowing that it's likely not going to, the answer is not going to come blasting through the glass and punch you in the face more often than not. It takes repetition. You have to actually work at it. Two is if there's not a degree of self-honesty, then it's really not going to matter. And in today's world, you can make the argument that that has never been more difficult ever in the world of immediate satisfaction and social media and where people are projecting an image because that's become the norm. It's easy for us to begin to believe our own and our own facade own facade and so that internal dialogue that level

of self-awareness is important but if you're lying to yourself then it's not going to matter right so there's a lot there to begin playing around with um but i do think that once that mission has been identified and oftentimes i'm asked like well i'm I'm having that conversation. I'm right. I really am. I'm journaling. I'm being honest. I'm doing all these things, but I still don't know what my purpose is. I'm still, my soul is not being lit towards something. You know, a technique that is often used is to, is to hone in on your talents, um, and kind of leverage the likelihood of success. Because if you, if you hone in on our talents and kind of leverage the likelihood of success. Because if you hone in on our talents, which are the things we do best with the least amount of effort, and then you lay a skill on top of that, odds are you're going to be in a really great place to do some really great

things. I just prefer to use the course of action prior to that as as co-o-one because it doesn't place any limitations on ourselves right I think it's beautiful this is everything that I've been you know preaching but communicating to my audience about from my lessons in sports you know if I didn't have a goal I wasn't willing to I would quit I would quit football if I didn't have like some type of mission or goal that I was excited about that was meaningful to me that had like a reason why I wanted to do it because you know three days were so painful and it was hot and there's you know I can go chase girls instead or do something easier so I needed

something bigger than myself a mission bigger than me that I was excited about to go through all the pain, right? Of all the different sports injuries and just like sacrificing and whatever, early mornings, all these different things, cutting out bad food, whatever it was, that was the easy way out. And same thing when I transitioned to business and just life and relationships, it was like things I would suffer and struggle more when I didn't have a meaningful mission. You can take on different things in life, but if it doesn't bring some type of fulfillment or meaning, it's going to feel harder and you're going to suffer more. It's going to be hard no

matter what. You have to do things every single day to be successful. You have to show up. You have to experience some type of pain and overcome it in order to build your emotional, mental, or physical strength, right? Yeah, absolutely. Consistently. So you might as well enjoy it or find fun in that process with a meaningful mission that you're tied to or seeing in the distance and trying to draw in closer. So I love that you talk about mission because I think a lot of people don't have that. And I love that you talk about mission because I think a lot of people don't have that. And I love that you talk about talent and skills. One of the things I did when I got out of sports and was trying to figure out who I was and my identity in life now that sports was over was I started to address a lot of my insecurities and fears. And I said, how can I maximize my talents but also my fears and insecurities make me feel really, I lack confidence because I know

these are in the background. It was hard for me to do public speaking. I knew this was just a challenge for me. So I went all in on public speaking every single week for a year. I knew I had this desire to learn salsa dancing, but I was terrified to get on the dance floor because I didn't want to be made fun of. So I went all in and practiced every week for a couple of years as well. I just said, what are the things that I can build as talents and skills that I'm not good at as well that will

make me more bulletproof emotionally and mentally? I can whip out these tools at any moment and feel more confident and see where it leads me towards my mission. So these are some of the things that I'm so glad you're talking about this because I've been preaching this stuff. And what would you say are the main talents or skills then that you've developed since that time, since losing your leg? And you speak another language too?

Or did you have to learn another language? Yeah, I speak a few foreign languages now. Pretty fluent? No, we'll say we have a working knowledge. Right, right, right. Yeah. If I know I'm going someplace where I may have to use it, I got to pull out the materials and dust off the cobwebs.

It's an awesome question. Kind of looking at the positive sides of any scenario because they're there. I don't care how horrible it was. I believe that it's only a matter of time and with enough reflection that there's positivity to extract from that. This being one of those, certainly not towards the top, but one of them, one I would say is my level and commitment to efficiency. And the example I'll use or really the way in which this has been reinforced is,

you know, when you have an amputee or when you use a prosthetic with a traditional socket system. So imagine this is my actual leg. My leg fits inside this bucket and that's how it stays attached to my body. That's how most of those of us that have prosthetics, that's how it stays attached to us. Sweat becomes the ultimate enemy because it gets slippery. It slips around. It's not working. It starts to chafe. The leg isn't functioning normal. So I eventually began to visualize the second I put my prosthetic on my body, a clock began to tick. And it was only a matter of time before I had to take it off, wipe it down, depending on

what I was doing, maybe let it breathe for 10 minutes or 20 or an hour. Because you sweat a lot. Because I sweat a lot. Me too. I'm a guy. You're sweating all the time. Walk out in the snow and you sweat probably, right? All the time. Me too, yeah. Right? Especially, fun fact, when you lose this many sweat pores, your other ones work in overdrive. Oh my gosh. To cool you off. Yeah. Learned that in the hospital. I was going through like multiple t-shirts a day. So, you know, I am more capable when I'm on two feet. Certainly I can be mobile. I can be in a wheelchair. I can be on crutches, but I'm not as capable as I am when I'm on two legs. legs. You're more efficient when you're on two legs.

Absolutely. I'm more productive when I'm on two legs. So that clock begins to tick. So I knew I needed to maximize every single moment that I was on two legs. And it got a little OCD, which my wife eventually kind of got cool with because it got to the point where if I, for example, were leaving my house for the day and I grabbed my stuff and I took, you know, eight steps and I realized I had forgotten something. Well, that's 16 steps that I'm not

getting back. Eight to go back to my thing, eight to get back to where I was. And it started to drive me more and more crazy. So I began. Every step needs to matter. Every step, every minute, every second needs to matter. And this is, I get it. I understand this is the extreme. And some of your viewers may be like, this is insanity.

But, you know, again, I set my sights on something so ambitious that I need to maximize every single moment. And therefore, I began just modifying, creating or modifying these different systems to minimize the likelihood of me missing those 16 steps again. So it's like, okay, I forgot my wallet. So now it's wallet, phone, like at the end of every day,

like this is where everything goes. So that- Everything you need to leave the next day is in one place. Everything is streamlined. So just day to day, I began just kind of instinctually creating these different systems throughout my day to maximize my level of efficiency just so I could do more things better on two feet and for longer. So that's just kind of a process in which I likely would not have learned if I had not gone through this. And it's one that I've maintained really to this day.

For the last nine years now, right? Or however long it's been, yeah. Right, so it's almost instinctual where I'm just, I'm constantly looking at ways to improve, to make up a second or two or not. But with extreme circumstances, you need to take extreme changes to maximize your life or to master your life, right? Otherwise, you could fall two hours behind every day because, oh, I forgot this and not upgrading your systems with a level and the degree of your new reality, right?

It's like you need to upgrade your level of thinking, your skill sets, the systems inside of you, your processes to be even more efficient than before, even with, you know, the changing of the prosthetic or whatever you might have to do, right? And this is, I mean, this is more tactical on the ground stuff, right? Like physically, you know, moving things around through my day. This is tactical, tangible tools. This I'll, I'll, I'll use a second, a second point. It's more conceptual, but I really want to emphasize this. You talk about what were the upsides, what were the positive aspects that you've learned or been able to leverage from losing your leg. And it's

knowing, realizing and knowing that although I was a hard worker and I was productive on two legs and I've got plenty of accomplishments and stuff that I'm certainly proud of, that took a lot of really hard work. There was an entire another level of work ethic and productivity that was sitting inside me the entire time that I did not know existed until this happened. And I set my sights on something extraordinarily unlikely, but I committed myself to because I knew I needed to be able to work at an extraordinarily higher level, like the highest possible level. And it's not as if when I was in the hospital, you know, some scientist walked into my room and rammed a metal spike in the back of my head and uploaded work ethic, like Neo and the Matrix.

Like it was literally there the whole time. I think that oftentimes it takes a traumatic event or hitting rock bottom for people to realize that there's so much more inside them that is literally sitting there waiting to be leveraged. And that becomes the kind of the catalyst for them to start to see that. And then it becomes contagious. It's like, oh my gosh, look what I just did. What else can I do? What else can I do? And that snowball effect happens. But having retrospectively kind of analyzed that, yeah, sure, this was the catalyst and I've seen what I was able to do.

How did I really do that? And it was through the modification, primarily anyway, of two relationships. My relationship with fear and my relationship with pain. And those are relationships like any other relationships we have, right? It's a two-way street. You talk to that entity and it talks back. You can only influence so much, but by modifying my relationship with those two things really is what facilitated my ability to do more, push harder, create more, and accomplish more. How do you modify your relationship with fear and pain?

I think, at least for me, man, it began with a recognition of what they're there to do. And the human brain does a lot of amazing things for us, but its primary responsibility is our survival. It's to keep us alive. And the brain has a security system within it. And within that are two different alerts. One of which we know is fear. One we know is pain. Fear is the alert of pending danger or a potential threat. Like something bad could happen. You're now scared. I need you to be scared of that to stay away from it. Pain being the alert of damage or impairment, right? Because the brain wants us to survive. Knowing that our brain is there because it wants the comfort zone, like homeostasis,

like the medical term. It wants things nice and predictable and sustainable and forecastable. And let's just keep things all nice and calm here when it comes to even a heartbeat, our red blood cell count, like it doesn't want change. Recognizing that and then knowing that if we've set our sights on something righteous, something of ambition, something that is unlikely, unprecedented, there are gonna be times when we have to ignore our brain and listen to our heart and our soul.

And one of the greater challenges of life really is knowing when to take that risk and asking yourself in that moment, in real time, like right now, are you willing to take the risk of doing this particular thing, knowing the potential hazards, but then also knowing the potential effects? Like, are you willing to do it?

I'm curious about, in your mind, I don't want to assume anything, but has anything become harder since you lost your leg? And has anything become easier or better since then as well? I don't want to make assumptions either way that things have gotten harder

or easier and better, but if there is, is there something on both sides that's been harder and easier and better but if there is is there something on both sides that's been harder and easier and better yeah certainly i mean there are countless specific tasks um were really hard to relearn and are still harder today even after having learned them and doing them now for almost a decade. I mean, walking is harder now than it was prior. I think generally speaking, the hard comes from a willingness to accept that you don't know how to do something right now. And that's OK. And not letting my pride and ego get in the way of that. Slicing off a massive serving of humility, be willing to take that risk of embarrassment.

You know, and when it comes to fear, sure, we're fear of physical damage, but I would argue fear mostly comes through the lens of emotional damage, fear of failure, fear of embarrassment, you know, self-judged by other people, judgment. I think most of that. So again, a modification of that relationship. Am I willing to do this? But most, I think it's probably accurate to say most tasks, certainly anything that involves me being on two legs are more difficult today than before. What's easier or better? If that's... Man, I'll start off in the clouds, man. Because if I could go back in time, right? Like Doc Brown shows up in the DeLorean and he's like, let's go back and we'll save your leg. You know, the butterfly effect is a concept.

When you weren't there and you were in another room or something during that time, yeah. But I look at the life I have now, man, and you know, particularly my family and my boys and my wife, and it's just amazing. I would not undo a single thing. Really? Because there's just a chance that I don't end up

where I am here right now. Like talking to you with my family at home, I live such a fulfilling and loved life that I wouldn't change a thing about this. That's like up in the clouds, but it's important, you know, no, I think. I'll go into the tactical realm. So I'm big into jiu-jitsu, and I started as a two-legged guy and competed. And jujitsu was a huge part of my recovery, which began in the hospital,

certainly physically, range of motion, flexibility, humility. Also your spirit too, just camaraderie, competition, all that stuff. Yeah. Huge aspect of my recovery and just really overall life. But, you know, jiu-jitsu is a weight class sport. And although, you know, I walk around now today at around 220 pounds. Big strong guy, man. I'm missing about 45 pounds of leg. Right, right.

So you would be a 265 weight class, but you're against guys, you know, my size. Absolutely. And you're freaking just bare hugging them. Yeah. So, you know, I learned that there was like a huge advantage in that realm, which is, you know, I wouldn't say it's silly because you can conceptualize that to say like, no, there's always upsides to it. So I was able to leverage, you know, my upper body strength and whatnot when I would compete as an amputee. And if you looked at me versus some of my competitors from the waist up, you'd be like,

there's no way these guys are in the same weight class. It's impossible. Well, you look like a beast next to them. Yeah. Right. So certainly it's an example, man, of things that I would say are easier, but certainly things that I can leverage to my advantage.

Yeah, yeah. That's cool, man. Anything else that's easier or better now with this? Do you have a different mental capacity, emotional capacity? Do you appreciate things more? Yeah. Oh, my gosh. Is your heart open now because you have different type of humility?

I mean, I'm just, I have no idea, but I'm throwing it out there. Yeah. My degree of confidence is actually probably higher now than it was as a two-legged guy. Wow. Why? How? Yeah. Great question.

You know, I think you could summarize confidence into two words, like training and preparedness. And when you feel, when you've, when you've put in the reps and you've got the resources in place to deal with the what ifs, I think drastically increase the level of confidence. And, um, my training was, uh, you know, I attacked that on a whole nother scale. And as I was working my way back to the team and then continuing to deploy into combat and doing all these different things, my level of training was quite, was quite insane at times. And I needed to- Physical training or like- Oh yeah.

Workout training to get back? Yeah. I mean, it was, it was belligerent. You know, my, my, my lifestyle and structure was, was nuts. And then my level of preparedness also had to increase as well. I would break these things. I would need tools. I would need stuff to have available. I learned all these through really difficult lessons. Um, so training and readiness or training and preparedness, um, were essential for me to do what I needed to do. But most significantly is as I began to fail repeatedly in front of those in which I wanted to impress, like my teammates and my commanders, I eventually got to a place where I was okay with failing in front of people.

Like when I first got back to my unit, I was only in the hospital for a year. I got back to my unit. I was still really raw. I would not be seen without my prosthetic on my body. No one would see me without a leg. Why? Because in my mind that would be seen as a, as weakness. I would be seen as a liability. I would be seen as, man, there's no way this guy can stay in this community. So I struggled with that for a while. And there was a time eventually when my teammates came over and I was hobbling around. I clearly needed to take my leg off and like, let it chill for a minute. And he came over and he's like, dude, why don't you just take your leg off and like, like sit down for a second. And, uh, he knew why without me having to say it.

He's like, listen, dude, everyone here knows you only have one leg. Like if you take your prosthetic off, it's not gonna change anything. I'm like, okay. And that was like step one. And I just did that and I looked around and- No one cared.

No one cared. Getting comfortable with the uncomfortable. Absolutely. The fear of embarrassment or the worry, what are people gonna think? No one cared. No one cared. Yeah. Getting comfortable with the uncomfortable. Absolutely. Yeah. The fear of embarrassment or the worry, what are people going to think? Yeah. No one cared. No one cared. They just want you healthy, happy.

They want you to feel ready to go. That's it. And then from there, it just kind of began to snowball where I would, you know, I'd push myself harder and I would trip and fall or my leg would come detached or I'd fail on this deadlift or I'd be out trying to learn how to run and I'd fall down. And I began to just care less about the opinions of others. or I'd fail on this deadlift or I'd be out trying to learn how to run and I'd fall down. And I began to just care less about the opinions of others. Yeah, if you fell down, it didn't matter anymore.

Didn't matter. My teammates, my family, my loved ones, they love me regardless. So I just began to build up a greater sense of confidence because I was callousing my mind to a degree where I'm like, no, I can do this. I can be vulnerable. I can mess things up. And it's not only is it okay, but it actually inspires people around me and makes them want to dig a little bit deeper. What is the thoughts and the feelings around and the conversation around vulnerability in the military, especially the special forces? Is it okay to be vulnerable?

Is it only okay at certain times? Is it respected at a high level and appreciated? Or did you feel like you weren't able to be vulnerable for a long time for some reason? Yeah, it's uncommon in the special operations world. It's part equally of what makes us the most successful military asset the world's ever known and sets us up for absolute failure is our willingness to just keep going no matter what opens up a threat. Extremes of each side, right? Yeah. Right. Opens up a threat. And the idea of being vulnerable and, um, you know, raising your hand and saying, like, I'm struggling with something is rare.

I say that it's getting better over time. It's getting better over time. I think we're still, we still have a lot more work to do because there is still this stigma associated with that, the stigma of weakness and being mission incapable. the stigma of weakness and being mission incapable like you need to be this robot cyborg that doesn't fear pain doesn't doesn't fear or feel fear like go right um and we've seen the negative effects that that has had particularly over the last 20 years and even actually beyond that when when when when people retire and move on and they don't know how to process or they're not processing in the military also, right? Yeah.

So we have an abundant of resources at our disposal. The challenge, however, is getting that individual to recognize that not only is it not a weakness, it's actually a sign of courageousness. Because for us, the easier route is to suck it up and keep going. That's what we prefer. We'd rather just add more weight on my shoulders. I got it and I'm going to keep going no matter what. It's more painful to be vulnerable. It's more difficult to be vulnerable.

It's more challenging than it is to just put more weight on my back. Right. That's the hard route to take. Therefore, it does deserve an enormous amount of respect. You're taking the hard right over the easy wrong. So it's not something that...

Is it looked down upon if someone's being vulnerable or sensitive about a matter or emotional or is it respected and acknowledged and supported? Or is it kind of like, okay, be over there,

I gotta be in my own lane. Now, you're seeing a distinct and deliberate shift and trend even just over the last 15 years that I've been towards the latter of what you just said, towards it's okay to say I need to take a knee. It's okay to say I'm struggling with something. Not only do we accept that, but we're here to support that and enable that. It's not going to mean the end of your career.

We have resources in place. It's our job is to get you better and get you back into the game. But it's different. That wasn't always the case. That was not always the case. What do you think makes the ultimate warrior moving forward? Is it this stoic machine? Or is it someone who can process their emotions in the appropriate times, obviously, process,

navigate their emotions, and be flexible in their range of vulnerability and strength moving forward? What will make the ultimate warrior moving forward in the military and in life? I'm not sure if there would be even much of a difference. The ultimate warrior is, I think, one that recognizes that human beings are not creatures of logic. We're creatures of emotion, as Dale Carnegie puts it. You are not going to be emotionless. Like, you're not a robot. You're not a machine. You're a human being. And emotions are literally attached to every decision that we make throughout every single day. There's an emotion there. Whether it's fear, anger, joy, sadness, like those are fueling what

you do day to day, moment to moment. Um, a warrior is one that can recognize the emotion and then has learned the skill to control it or influence it, um, to not let the emotion overtake the actual actions of the human. It's not this no fear mentality. Fear exists. There's no such thing as courage without fear. So it's not an emotionless cyborg. It's, I think, someone who has deliberate control of the response to the emotions. What have you learned about your heart and love since this experience nine years ago? Did you look at, you family relationships differently did you start to love and appreciate yourself more what did you how did you navigate a lot of this you know emotionally around love yeah i can't you just you're you're saying the word love i can't think of anything other than my wife.

Because she was in Afghanistan when I was wounded. She had a front row seat. You were married then? No, we were not. Wow. So we had just begun kind of, we were friends for years and just had begun taking a relationship to something new while we were in two separate locations in Afghanistan.

Like we became each other's support mechanism. Wow. You know? So she had a front row seat to that. And I get met, I'm in the hospital. She finishes up her deployment. You know, she's coming to visit me in the hospital. She was there when I was at my absolute lowest point,

my most vulnerable, my weakest point. And this was during what would normally be the courting phase of a relationship. Right, right. You're trying to woo her. Right? You're trying to present your best self and all the fancy dinners and the clothes and the stuff, right?

You got tubes down. You had barely a heartbeat. Yeah. You know, I've lost 90 pounds. I'm emaciated. I can't do anything on my own. I mean, literally, this was the beginning

of our like real relationship. Holy cow. And, you know, not only was she supportive of that, she was an asset. She became my number one asset. So, I think back on that and it's like, I don't know if I,

how I would have done what I did had I not had that. And to take it a step farther, you know, when I left the hospital, I moved in with her and I was home maybe two weeks and I sat her down and I said, hey, babe, I know that this is like real. I can see the white picket fence and the family and like this is real. But I have to do this and I don't have I don't have another option. I have to do this. I have to see if I can't make it back to this lifestyle. One of two things is going to happen. I'm going to make it or I'm going to die trying. There's actually no plan B. I'm actually burning the boats.

Those are not just words. This is what I have to do. And if you don't do it, you're going to be miserable. Right. There's no, I can't even conceptualize another option right now. You need to know you went for it 100% all in. And for whatever reason, if it's not working out, okay, you'll find something else will happen.

But at least you don't have to live with that. Ever. Yeah. There will be no regret, right? Leaving it all in the field. And this is what that looks like. And I put this day-to-day schedule, which is in my book. It's minute to minute.

And it's like, boom, boom, boom, boom. And, you know, there will be no dinners. There will be no us going to weddings. If someone dies, there will be no funeral. Really? Why? Like, this is my life. It's eat, sleep, train dialed in to the minute. Um, because I just believe if I'm going to have a shot at doing this, this is what it's going to take. It's going to require every moment of everything. It's going to require me being completely and totally unbalanced, obsessed, obsessed, obsessed, and unbalanced, like all in on this one thing for this season of life.

It doesn't mean forever. No, no, no. Just for now. Yeah. Right. Like, you know, the size of the struggle is commensurate with the size of the goal. This is the largest goal I've ever possibly set my sights on. I will live the ultimate level of struggle because that's what I think it's going to take. And I was really expecting her man to say, Hey dude, what you just described is a little crazy to me. And I don't think that this is going to work. I was expecting that. And I would have understood that. But she, uh, she was like, okay. Um, I understand. And like, let's do this. Holy cow. So this is what, 2014 now? Or when is this?

This is 2014. Wow. Yeah. And, you know, I was willing to sacrifice what I knew was the love of my life. Who, family, kids, I could see it. I knew that that's where things were going, man. And I was willing to sacrifice that. For mission.

For the mission. It's so interesting you say this. Is there anything else you wanted to add there before I interrupt you? Just when you think of love, I think of that and I think about not only the sacrifices that she made and the support, but her being along my side as a teammate. That's love, man. I want to break this down for a minute because I'm in a relationship with an incredible woman. Her name is Martha, who I had a conversation with.

Now, this is not at the extreme. I'm not in the military, all these things. But she came to me after a few months before we became committed. And she said, what's your, you know, she asked the priorities question that every woman asks a guy, what are your priorities in life? You know, what is it, what's your top priorities? And I go, I'm going to tell you something, but I don't think you're going to want to, you know, date me after you hear my priorities. You know, it's probably kind of what you thought. I love where this is going. It is.

And I was like, because every time I've told this to women in the past, they get upset, they were hurt, they were saddened. And I didn't have the courage to let them sit in their frustration and sadness. So I would shift who I was to try to make someone happy. Anyway, so I said, listen, you're not going to like what I'm going to say and you're probably going to walk away. Are you sure you want the truth about my priorities? And she said, yes, please, tell me the truth. I go, okay, well, you're not my number one priority.

And no woman wants to hear that. It doesn't mean you're not going to feel like a top priority. It doesn't mean I'm not going to pour into you a lot of my love and energy and effort. It's not that I'm not going to pour into you a lot of my love and energy and effort. It's not that you're not going to experience this, but you have to understand that you're not my number one or my number two priority. No woman typically wants to hear they're not number one or number two. Now, you've got to understand context with everything. So I said, listen, I need my health to be the number one priority, Mental, physical, emotional, spiritual health.

I need to be able to take care of my health so I have energy, focus, and expansiveness to take care of the rest of my life. So if I'm in a relationship and a partner does not want me to be fully healthy and know I need to take the time and energy to focus on my own personal development and growth, physically, mentally, spiritually, psychologically, all these things, because they need me for them more than they respect my health, then it's just not going to work. And I want your health to be number one too, over me. Because if you're not taking your health, then someone's going to have to take care of you. That's number one. Put your Oshkin mask on first, right? She said, okay.

And I go, you're not number two. Because I feel called by my creator on a mission right now. I don't know how long this is going to be. It might be the rest of my life. It might be 10 years, a season of life, until I don't feel called on this mission. I need my mission to be a top priority for me. That means I'm going to be traveling. I'm going to be speaking.

I'm going to be working late hours. I'm going to be doing things to serve humanity, right? It's part of the mission that I'm on. And if I'm not attacking my mission with full energy, I'm not going to be fulfilled. And I'm going to feel like I'm discounting my creator for what I'm supposed to be doing, what I feel I'm supposed to be doing in life, this meaningful mission.

And then number three will be our relationship and you. Now, she was excited when she heard this. Wow. She was like, because she'd always want to find a man who had a mission and a purpose. And they made her her purpose. Yeah. And she would always be like,

well, but what's the thing that you're supposed to do in life? She said, well, I just want to be with you. You know, I want to make you happy. And it was good, but it wasn't great. Right? So when she heard this from me, she was excited. Now, listen, I spend all my free time, pretty much all my free time with her. We do incredible things together. It's not like she's not a top priority. So it's creating context around this. But I'm not gonna sacrifice who I am, my health, or my mission every day for one person. Because then I'd be discounting myself and my creator

for what I'm supposed to do. And so she really respects that. She pushes me to go after my mission, which feels great because I want to pour more into her. Right? So I don't, you know, for the, so when you said this, they're like, hey, every moment I'm going to be obsessing about this thing for a period of time.

And you may not be okay with that. And I understand, but that's, you know, it'll be sad to see you go, but I'm not going to discount what I'm supposed to do right now in my life. I think it's really courageous of you doing that. Because a lot of people would be afraid of that. A lot of people would be like, well, you're going to, we can't go to our freaking funeral.

We can't go to a wedding. We can't do this. This is going to be for the next decade. I don't know. Yeah. And so the fact that she was all in on you putting your health first, really. Yep. Your rehab, your health, and then your mission, number two.

Yeah. It sounds like similar what your priorities were. Yeah. Right? I just, and I just learned something just now, so I appreciate that. That's a phenomenal breakdown. Because you put number one, your health. You're like, I'm going to be obsessed about rehab and training and a maniac.

Yep. What I eat, how I train, what I'm doing. Yeah. And then you were like, every minute is dialed in on my notebook for the next five years of how to tackle this mission of getting back to this place. And then the free time after that will be with you and building a family and all those things. If that's what you're open to, then let's do it. No, I didn't conceptualize it that way back then, but you are 100% accurate.

Right. So that's when you said that, I was like, this is what I've been kind of understanding over the last couple of years that I've been doing and I've been communicating with her. And it's worked out beautifully, you know, because someone was in an acceptance of those priorities.

And again, it's not like I'm working out eight hours a day and then going on my mission eight hours a day and I have no time for her. It's creating moments with her. It's going on trips and we have fun, right? We go on trips and go to weddings and stuff. But communicating this is what I'm gonna need. And if she was like, well, you can't train that hard and you got to spend three hours a day with me doing this, then maybe it wouldn't have worked.

Right? Probably not. It would have been tough. Yeah, probably not. Because you would always been feeling like I'm not doing what I'm supposed to do right now. Right. Right? And you'd have felt like resentful if you weren't taking it on 100%.

Yeah. Powerful word. Right?%. Yeah, powerful word. Right? Yeah, powerful word. What's the thing you love about your wife the most? Oh my gosh. Her independence comes to mind. It's tough to say what I love about her the most,

but I do love the fact that she doesn't need me for anything. I love the fact that she doesn't need me for anything. I mean, we're a we're a dynamic duo when we're together but i can go i know i can leave for forever and i don't think she'll be just fine but our boys will be just fine that's so interesting you say that because when i met martha i was like i never really felt like i wanted to have kids I was like, I never really felt like I wanted to have kids before I met Martha, my girlfriend, partner. I was always like, yeah, I think I'm supposed to be a dad. But let's say I wasn't choosing based on that, partners in the past, based on that vision.

So I take full ownership and responsibility. And I never felt like if something happened to me that the person would be resourceful enough to raise my kids, right? If we had kids. So hearing you say that, like, if something happens to me, she's got it down. And they're going to be just fine. Maybe they'll be sad and there'll be some tragedy, but they'll be able to overcome it. I think, I mean, I'm literally thinking in real time because you got my wheel spinning like crazy, but it's similar to your priorities breakdown. Right.

It's similar to that. It's true, man. Where, you know, if I were to ask her that same question right now, my guess is that she would probably verbalize it similar to that. And it's because she has her health, her wellbeing as priority one, followed up by her mission in life or her mission for now is deeply rooted in why she's so independent and resourceful and capable. Because it's not, Nick, you're my husband, you're my number one thing in life. Well, if that were the case and I'm removed,

even just temporarily, there's a huge void. Screwed. There, right? You're struggling then, yeah. So I think that her and I are going to have the same exact conversation. I'll be interested to see what she says, man. That's cool.

Yeah. That's interesting. And thank you for reframing my priorities a little bit. Yeah. The priorities conversation is a great one to have, regardless of what they are. And mine will likely changeing my priorities a little bit. The priorities conversation is a great one to have, regardless of what they are. And mine will likely change thanks to you a little bit. You know, priorities and focus are something that can kind of work hand in hand.

And just because something is priority three or four or 10 doesn't really matter because you choose the moments to focus on those priorities. Yes. And it doesn't mean that if I'm focusing on priority five right now, it doesn't mean that number one is unimportant to me. It just means in this moment right now, this requires my attention. Yes. I need to do this.

Yes. Yeah. And priority one doesn't take eight hours a day for me, right? It's like, I really only need an hour, an hour and a half of physical activity that I like to create for myself to get myself physically fit, competitive, things like that. I do different coaching or therapeutic coachings, you know, once every couple of weeks for a couple of hours where I've got a coach and I'm working through and processing stuff. And then I'm doing, you know, my own meditation, which is 20, 30 minutes a day. We do it together sometimes, stuff like that. So it's like, okay, a couple hours a day is priority number one. So it's not like it takes all the time. Priority number two is mission.

It's like, okay, when I show up and do my job, my mission here at my business and my company and structuring my day around doing that, that doesn't mean I have to work all day and night, but that's got to be a priority. And you can't pull me away from that. Right. You can't say, I don't like you doing this work. No. And you got to accept the mission that I'm on.

No. And at least be neutral, if not excited for me. Yeah. on and at least be neutral if not excited for me. Yeah. So I mean, priority three could actually, you could invest more time and energy in that even though it is a lower priority. A hundred percent. Right.

And it's not that it's lower. I think it's, again, it is a, how do you call it? I wanted to say it's the lower priority. It's still a high priority. It's just not the number one. Something's got to be number one. Something's got to be number 10, man. It's just not the number one. Something's got to be number one. Something's got to be number 10, man. It's true.

It's true. You know? But language, you know, you got to be careful around language with women. Sure. It's like, you're lower. You know, it's like,

no, she's still a massive priority. Of course. And the relationship of it flourishing and growing is a top priority. Mm-hmm. But, you know, and it's a lesser time for one.

So being aware of that. So, yeah, it's all in the context of how it's communicated. Of course. You're my tens of priority. People are like, well, screw you. So I don't mean anything to you. Yeah. What you're saying.

This is, I just want to spin off this for a second, man, because I have this conversation a bit. I'm asked about this quite a bit. You know, how do you balance all these things and like work and family and training and your passion project and like all this stuff. And military. Yeah. Military, right? Like most people, I would argue, live a lifestyle where there's a lot of different things that are important to them.

And there's only 24 hours in a day. And, you know, so how do you balance all these things? I get that question a ton. So how do you balance all these things? I get that question a ton. And my first recommendation is take an honest calibration of how you're spending your 24, your time and energy, your bandwidth. There's probably a lot of wasted effort and minutes

that can be removed and reinvested elsewhere. It may be difficult because you like, you know, binge watching Netflix for two hours. That's like your thing at the end of the day. Um, but that's probably a place to look. And then once you've kind of worked through that and you've trimmed the fat a little bit, you've become more efficient. Productivity is going up. Chances are there still may be like, Oh, like, am I doing this too much over here? Not enough over here. And I just throw out when most of us that are doing a lot of different things and are really serious about it, we struggle with quantity. Like, there's only 24. You're not getting any more of that.

We have the choice to increase the quality. When quantity is low, we can increase quality. When quantity is low, we can increase quality. And that doesn't mean that it has to be trips to Disney World or to some exotic vacation. Quality time with your spouse or your girlfriend or your kids just means that you're in that moment at that time. And you want to be there. And you're deliberately present. Yeah.

And I think it's recalibrating priorities too. I think five, 10 years ago, based on where my attention and time went, even if I didn't say this was a priority, based on I think where you spend your time and energy, that's what your priority is. So if you say my priority is my health, but six hours a day you're on Netflix, well, based on your time and attention, Netflix is a priority, right? Based on your energy. Right, the data proves otherwise. Exactly. So I used to spend time with lots of people, like take meetings with everyone

and be like all day spending time, like just doing meetings with people that, networking, right? Five, 10 years ago, as I was kind of building my business or brand or whatever. And now, specifically after the pandemic, it was kind of like, okay, who are the core four or five people I want to spend deeper time with

and do less of spreading my energy everywhere? It's like just reprioritizing energy, time, and efficiency. And so, we've got to evaluate these things throughout life as well, seeing like, okay, well, should I be on Netflix two hours a day? Maybe not. Maybe not. Maybe there's a day that you do that and you just kind of decompress. But I'm loving this conversation.

I want to ask you a couple final questions. Yes, sir. One is about goal setting. You mentioned goal setting at one point. What is the – I think a lot of people struggle with discovering what goal to set, how big to set it, and how to actually accomplish it. Is there anything you've learned from the military training, Green Beret training, but also your own development from overcoming extreme adversity physically, mentally, and

emotionally about goal setting that you could conceptualize for people? Yeah. I'll stop by saying if your mission doesn't scare you at least a little bit, it's probably not the one you wanna choose. I think it needs to scare you because if it doesn't, are you really striving high enough? Have you set the bar high enough? And if you reach that goal, are you going to feel fulfilled?

So a place to start is it should make you maybe at least a little bit nervous. And then, you know, the methodology that I've learned in military and I apply throughout my day-to-day life now, it's, it's operate, I've operationalized my success and it's very, it's very deliberate. And it's the same way we go about if we need to take down an enemy location or we're infilling into a, you know, country X for the first time ever. It's just essentially a backwards planning system where you determine your desired end state, you determine your current environment and your current situation, and then identify what is in between us now and where we're trying to go. And just simply break that down into a series of objectives within time and space. And then from there comes doing the research, gaining the knowledge,

assembling a team, all the resources to be able to tackle one 25 meter target at a time as you work towards the actual mission. What do you think should happen on the journey towards accomplishing a goal? Say it's a six month or a year goal, right? It's a little bit longer than maybe people would like to wait to accomplish something. But the bigger the goal, usually it takes a little more time, right? So call it six months or a year where people are used to instant gratification. They got to wait a little bit longer. And I know for you, you probably set goals

that are like, this is five years out, this is 10 years out. But call it six months to a year. How should we be appreciating the little micro wins along the way of a year long journey? Should we be celebrating along the way of the effort, the attention, how we keep showing up day in and day out? Or should there be no celebration and a self-acknowledgement of the continual journey and the effort?

When we accomplish the goal, should we celebrate and acknowledge, man, I just overcame all these objectives and challenges and adversities and look where I am now and take those moments. What happens with that and without that? Yeah. I think we call them small victories are important. And I think it's important for us to recognize when we do that. I also think it's important to then quickly shift onto the next ridge that needs to be climbed. Because it's really easy to get stuck there for a really long time and enter into this world of satisfaction and content. Where it's like, oh, look what I did. And then that drifts on for a day or two or a week.

And then it's like, okay, yes, we did that. But let's go. Let's keep the momentum going. Where I don't have to re-begin from a static position or worse, I start to regress because it takes a lot of time and energy to build up your body, let's say physically. If you sit there and celebrate the fact

that you hit a PR on the squat for a month, well, like that all just went away. So absolutely, take those moments in time and maybe it's just a moment or two. the squat for a month, well, like that all just went away. Um, so absolutely take, like, take those moments in time and maybe it's just a moment or two. Maybe it's just, you look in the mirror and you go, nice work, bro. Okay. Now let's move. Um, or grab your wife, pick her up, throw her in the air, give her a kiss. She asked you what happened. Hey, I just closed this one deal. It was a big win for me. She's like, awesome. Let's have a nice dinner tonight. Great. And then it's like, what do I, what am I doing she's like awesome let's have a nice dinner tonight great and then it's like what do i what am i doing tomorrow morning like let's let's leverage the momentum and the wins

but absolutely enjoy the ride because you need to love the process just as much if not more than the prize and if you're not allowing yourself to love the process and enjoy the process, even if you make it to the prize, it's not going to be nearly as glorifying and gratifying because the route to get there was stagnant, miserable, a chore. That's not life, man. Yeah, that's beautiful. I love it. Okay. That's not life, man. Yeah, that's beautiful. I love it. Okay, a couple of final questions. But before I ask them, I want people to get connected to you. You've got a book called Objective Secure, right?

The Battle-Tested Guide to Goal Achievement. So if you want to learn more about accomplishing, setting, and achieving goals, get this book. It's also got a lot more great stories and tactical approaches towards achievement and life. So I want people to get your book, Objective Secure, The Battle-Tested Guide to Goal Achievement. Where can we connect with you online? Is there a good website or social media that you spend time on? Yeah. Website is machinenick.com. And that's got links to the socials and the book and all the things. I'm mostly on Instagram.

It's nick.machine.lavery. Okay. Even though we're not supposed to be machines, but that's what your title is. Yeah. An awesome conversation. We'll have another day. Nick.machine.lavery? Lavery. Lavery. Yes. So we'll have all that linked up there. Check out you on social media, Instagram for sure. Machine nick.com. Uh, get the book. If

you guys want to learn more about this stuff and just hear some incredible stories, I didn't even get into like your whole bio about all the things that you've overcome and uh it would take me an hour to just read off all the accomplishments that you've done serving this nation so i really acknowledge you appreciate for how you've shown up for multiple decades in service how you've shown up for yourself for your family for your wife and your kids even with the challenge and the adversity that you've overcome physically and emotionally, how you show up even though you have fallen brothers. And it's a beautiful testament to your spirit and your soul and your heart that you keep showing up

to serve in the way that's best for you right now. So I really acknowledge you for your service. Thank you. For your, in going beyond the military and trying to serve, you know, us civilians as well by giving us these tools and this inspiration and training that you've gained from your experience in the military. So I really appreciate and acknowledge your leadership, your ability to communicate, your ability to process things and share them with others and create meaning from the tragic moments that you've experienced as opposed to be stuck in a depressed state. Because I think it's really easy for us to go to that state

when these types of challenges or when an extreme challenge may happen. True. So I really acknowledge you for you finding meaning and staying true to your mission. Thank you. It's really beautiful, man. I appreciate it.

Of course. This is a question I ask everyone at the end called the three truths. So it's a hypothetical question. Imagine your last day on earth many years away. You live as long as you want. Okay. You see your family grow up the way they're supposed to.

You serve in other ways in your life. But it's, you know, the last day. For whatever reason, you've got to take all of your work with you. The book, this conversation, anything you've ever shared that's been recorded, it's got to go somewhere else. It's hypothetical. Okay. So we don't have access to your content or your message.

It's all gone to the next place. But you get to write down three things you know to be true from all your experiences in life, personal, military, adversities, triumphs, and three lessons you would share with the rest of the world. And that's all we have to remember you by. What would be those three truths for you? So number one would be, this is not a dress rehearsal. You got one shot at this life.

It's truly a gift and it could end at any moment. We have, I believe, an obligation to live a life of both happiness and success. So this is not a dress rehearsal would be number one. Number two, I would say when you invest in others, you're investing in yourself. I think us as humans have most anyway a natural desire and instinct to serve. And by doing so, we actually build ourselves up.

You actually look at service as a somewhat selfish act because we end up being just as much, if not more fulfilled and impacted by our service to others. And then lastly, I'll say, you brought up love. I'll say, it sounds negative, but I'll say love is not enough. Love is an emotion.

It's powerful. However, without a deep respect for another individual, without an understanding of yourself, their values, yours, how those align. In my opinion, I don't think it's enough to last. That may sound like a negative way to cap that off, man, but I will stick by it. I love that. I mean, I have a video out there that says love is not enough. You need values, vision, and lifestyle. That's a better way to put it. Right?

You need the alignment in a relationship, at least, of shared values, vision, and lifestyle for, you know, along with respect and other things. But if you don't have the same values or they're opposites, if you don't have the same, you know, lifestyle or they're opposites and a shared vision of where you're heading. You're going in two different directions. It's just going to be a lot more challenging. A lot of friction. So I was trying to minimize the friction and create that alignment. So I think it's a beautiful map. I'm going to add a fourth one. Give it. And I said it at least once already,

but when it comes to achievement, the size of the struggle is commensurate with the size of the goal. I love that. Final question. What's your definition of greatness? My definition of greatness. Oh man, that's a good one. I'd say having set our sights on multiple ambitious goals, achieving them with consistency and doing so while happy. If you do that, I think that you've reached the realm of greatness. My man, Nick. Thanks, brother. Powerful. Good talking, man. My man. I appreciate it. I hope you enjoyed today's episode and it inspired you on your journey towards greatness. Make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a full rundown of today's

episode with all the important links. And if you want weekly exclusive bonus episodes with me personally, as well as ad-free listening, then make sure to subscribe to our Greatness Plus channel exclusively on Apple Podcasts. Share this with a friend on social media and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts as well. Let me know what you enjoyed about this episode in that review. I really love hearing feedback from you and it helps us figure out how we can support and serve you moving forward. And I want to remind you, if no one has told you lately that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter. And now it's time to go out there and do something great.