The Sevan Podcast - #113 - Eddie Ifft

Episode Date: August 27, 2021

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Let's go seize the night. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Visit amex.ca slash yamex. Benefits vary by car and other conditions apply. Do you know how much I fucking hate being late? I hate being late. I don't even like using that word. So I use this software called Riverside FM. And good morning.

Hi. Shouldn't start off negative, right? Too late. 8.01 a.m. We're supposed to go live at 8 a. Hi. Shouldn't start off negative, right? Too late. 8.01 a.m. We're supposed to go live at 8 a.m. I use this software called Riverside FM. And basically, I do the show on Riverside FM. And then it somehow humps YouTube.

You kind of have to punch in some numbers, URLs, and passwords. And then they kind of connect. And then it goes live. But it always seems like there's one or two hiccups that just occur every single day and they're stupid they're human errors it's not i don't think it's riverside's fault or youtube's fault i know it's not but anyway uh here we go the thing is is the podcast doesn't make, it's not a job. Hi, Eddie. Hey, Swan.

How are you? And so, I don't know how you make people care about shit. I guess if they had an audience staring at you while you did your performance, you'd care a lot because you'd feel that insane pressure. Sorry. Hi, Eddie. Hey, what's up? Fuck.

I'm just being a baby this morning. Why? What's wrong? Do you ever wake up and you just feel like you're being a baby? Lauren, do I ever wake up and act like I'm a baby? I thought I heard someone say I have to poop. Lauren, do I ever wake up and act like I'm a baby? I thought I heard someone say I have to poop. Did I hear that?

My wife just said every effing day. So the thing is this. I do this podcast, right? And I have these guests on that I wish I was. So that's the cool part about it. I am. I am that part of you, by the way, kids making noise.

And during the middle podcast is perfectly acceptable on this podcast. Oh, it is far being Bernie burping kids, nudity, messing up, having to go early, bad connection. It's all,

it's all, that's all legit. Do you do it on your other podcast with your CrossFit stars? Oh, it's even worse. That one's even worse. Neither of them have children. No. Well, Josh does.

Josh has two kids. Oh, I didn't know Josh has kids. Yeah. Two kids. He spends a lot and he's a single dad too. So he spends a lot of time like juggling that shit. Oh, geez. I single father.

You always hear people talk about single mothers yeah it is what about the single fathers of this world because we're not built for it right like it nature to be and anyone listening because uh gender neutrality you're challenging it. You're a dick. We are not built better at it. Women are much better at it. How old are your kids? I have a six-year-old and a two-year-old. One of them I like. We're kind of in the same boat.

I have a six-year-old and two four-year-olds. Yeah. What's kind of cool, though, I guess the two-year-old you still have to deal with a lot. When they're four, when I started the podcast, I walked by the playroom and the four-year-olds are already doing their own shit. They'll be playing with magnets for the next two hours. I'm stoked. I can't wait for that. I'm going to miss this time. I'm like, no, I won't.

I will not miss out of diapers. And now is six. I love the age she's at. It's so much fun. She's awesome. The two year old. It's just it can be an absolute nightmare. Do you just want to just dig in the car seat what what about car seat car seats are the

worst i'm gonna i'm researching statistics about car seats i need to see a significant a significant like amount of uh uh life-changing evidence that uh uh life-changing evidence that uh saved by car seats if it's just like you know like a 0.0006 difference i'm i'm gonna go on a rampage and try to outlaw car seats what if we found out stuff what if people like actually cared and we found out stuff that like because of car seats days the number of days of lives that humans lose is 1000 for whatever reason because they off gas and shorten your life because they fall off a shelf and kill someone but what if you added up all the damage that car seats do the pollution they cause to a river and then you drink that water and it shortens your life by 100 days let's say we figure out all the damage car

seats did do did do did and we find out that they actually take away more days of lives than days of lives they save, right? Let's say car seats save like 12 kids a year. But we find out it actually reduces the life expectancy of the totality of the planet by 300,000 days or something crazy. You know what I mean? Do we stop using car seats? Because I feel like a lot of the stupid shit we do on what? They wouldn't stop. They wouldn't. I know. No. because that's how we are we never um we make laws we never repeal laws

and i i've i've had this argument with it's so fun someone that you probably won't know but comedy world it'd be really funny if i was talking about this there was a girl that start of the comedy kind of the comedy she did a i hate her i hate her already i hate her already the pod or her special was called nen net and you should watch it it's on netflix it was like the probably like of 2018 what year came out 2018 it was the biggest special comedian i actually like her a lot i'm friends with and i went on tour with her one year and we were in a van for two weeks together and we fought constantly and one god i wish you would have said fucked constantly this show could be so much better

I wish you would have said fucked constantly. This show could be so much better. Like, I'm glad you didn't. But there was this time. Now, because in my argument was we're in New Zealand, actually, but but she's Australian. And I was saying that the Australian government was too strict about drunk driving. And. And, for example, in Queensland, they had. They had done as many breathalyzed tests as there were people in Brisbane or in. Wow. Like in a one year period or something or on a weekend?

uh brisbane or in wow like in a one-year period or something or on a weekend yeah in in a year period and i said you know like let's say there's uh four million people that live in that state in tests and i said that's that's like i don't know like totalitarianism or whatever it is to an auto uh they're autocrats or whatever the word is authoritarianism i don't know what it is but i said it's just too much i said i think drunk driving's wrong but that's too much and so i spouted off these that i read that you'd find interesting going back to our conversation about uh the car seats that drunk driving deaths hadn't had gone down since mothers against drunk driving who make all the laws against drunk driving um drunk driving deaths had gone down in the united states when they raised the age from uh 18 to 21. Okay, makes sense. Drunk driving deaths went down.

Canada did not raise from 18 to 21. It stayed at 18. And their deaths proportionally per capita went down the exact same amount. Oh, interesting. Okay. It didn't have anything to do with drunk driving.

It had to do with cars getting better. Ah, ah. Right. yes so this that they were using this was mothers against drunk driving statistic and i read somewhere i could be wrong but the woman that created mothers against drunk driving wanted to stop drunk driving and she said a lot of these mothers that which you can understand why if I lost a child. But they want to end drinking altogether. Like they kind of went on a rampage and just started to pass laws and pass laws and pass laws.

And saying that it's hard as a congressman or a legislator to say no. She comes into you, wants to pass a law we're gonna put car seats in we're gonna ban this we're gonna do checkpoints we're gonna do this we're gonna do but you don't ever whenever somebody goes too far no one goes yeah you know we can because you can't go up to this mother and say, you know, sorry, get me to car seats. That being said, you look at with Hannah. She's like, I've lost friends from drunk driving. And I'm like, we've all lost friends. You know, like, you know, that's like somebody going i had cancer and

it's like everybody gets cancer and right you can't and her whole her whole about uh being a victim and the i really do hate her you you'll watch the special and you will and it was so funny because she did. It's a deplorable mindset. It's a disease. It's worse than it's worse than fucking AIDS. It's worse. It's a disease. A victim mindset is a disease.

You're you're you're you're you're horrible. I like her, but I wanted. I'm sorry. I really I want to call it man that. Yeah. Specialist about men need to change. Men are terrible people. And we, you know, assault women and abused women and this and that.

And I and I'm sitting there going, I don't do that. Why am I getting an elector for something? Because you've been in a situation where it's happened to you. You're yelling at all men right now you're doing what what is wrong you're stereotyping you're generalizing you are putting us all in one category it'd be like you know i'll say you can do that if a penis is the criteria yeah other than that you shouldn't do it yeah so i think you would biology that's your homework tonight i really want you to go on netflix and watch nanette hey you know i think i've heard you talk about her before and i went and looked her up and i seriously i think i had like a visceral

reaction you'll like i thought oh i'm gonna break my tv you'll scream yeah i thought you were gonna say it was the biggest flop of 2019. It bums me out that you said it was good. She became the biggest star in Hollywood. I have never seen anybody go from total – she had a pretty decent career in Australia already because the critics loved her to – and I think she's funny. Like when we used to do stand-up together, she used to make me laugh. she's funny like when we used to stand up together she used to make me laugh but then uh her it was a ted talk on like sexual assault and look i'm not i'm not here to be a proponent of sexual assault i just feature was not a comedy special and i think she won you name it she won it and she became the biggest star in hollywood um is isn't it amazing well

it's amazing to me i don't want to put words in your mouth that people who know how hard you have to work then would argue other people's limitations like people who've made it made something of their lives and gotten somewhere they know they know like there's nobody who knows better than LeBron James about hard work. And yet he argues the victim mindset as a legitimate mindset. It's mind boggling to me. You know, it creeps into my head even that there's a malicious intent. Like it's a way to keep people off the mountaintop. Now, I don't really believe that.

I just think it's just being just 100 retarded not knowing how to think but you believed in yourself but you don't believe in anybody else well see it's a debt it's devastating to me it's it's here's agree with you a little bit on that place you can disagree a lot too um I have this, I heard it on that. Uh, there's that new show on HBO called hacks. And I just watched the trailer for it. And a woman,

the woman's like a former, or still is a big star in young comedy writer writing for her. And the woman, the comedy writer is like kind of this woke writer that said, you know, I've worked so hard to get where I am and blah, blah, blah. And she's like, we all work, for her and the woman the comedy writer is like kind of this woke writer that said you know i've worked so hard to get where i am and blah blah blah and she's like we all work like you know former like star i mean it's like we all worked hard and i have this theory about hollywood you

come out here go to karaoke night here and you will see every single person is so fucking talented i know that's scary god that's scary so scary i i've never forget the time i went to karaoke i'm like oh my god everyone here has an amazing voice is amazing looking theater and acting and this and that and they're all incredibly talented and beyond that they all work really hard too. Like everyone works their ass off. And the one that makes it isn't the one that works harder than the rest. They had all of the parts of the equation. They had the talent, they had the hard work, and they also had the luck. And it's like a lottery.

You know, there's only, you know, there's only so many Kevin Harts in this world and Dave Schwartz. They worked really hard to get where they are, super fucking hard. But they also had some luck to get where they were because I know guys that work just as hard as them that have zero – like zero the notoriety that they have um do you want to go and you want let's go into this a little bit more i want to talk about what it means to work hard so i worked at a home for disabled adults i was homeless i walked in there barefoot i applied for the job i got the job because i didn't have a place to live i was willing to work 100 hours a week right because then i could sleep there it was awesome so i started working my ass off there making seven dollars an hour and uh you know within like five months because i knew how to eat out of dumpsters i was rich like in five months i had like ten thousand dollars

cash saved in the bank i mean i was fucking rolling and i just kept working harder and harder and after five years of working there i worked every single christmas and every single christmas. I never went home to see my parents. I worked Easter. I worked all the holidays. I took any shift anybody gave me. I never took a vacation. And after five years, I was the lead of that house and I had 20 people working for me and I was making $21 an hour. Then I was rich as fuck. an hour then i was rich as fuck you don't know like if you're homeless you're making 21 bucks an hour you are loaded and um there's other people who thought that they were working hard right but they weren't i mean not not relative to me they they they they went home on christmas they went home on easter they took their birthday off and so i i almost feel like there's levels there's levels to this game and the same thing happened with me at crossfit i was not the best filmmaker there i was not the best at anything there but i never ever ever ever took a day off and i mean never i mean never 365 days

24 hours a day like i i i agree with you and i do see that like that that when there are people that are complaining to me that i can't and I say, you know, you you aren't working hard enough. You know, they're like, I can't get my dad always said that to me, you know, inner bitch. You know, I remember when I was doing stand up and things going on for a while in my career and then it kind of all went away. My dad said to me one day, he's like, do you work 40 hours a week? me one day he's like uh do you work 40 hours a week and i said i i don't know you know i go i do shows every night and he goes how long's your show and i go you know sometimes i'll do seven shows in a night he goes how long are your shows and i go 20 minutes and he's like it's not 40 hours a week and i was like why write during the day's like, do you put in for, he goes, how can you expect to make anything like even

a living if you don't put in at least 40 hours? Be successful. You have to put in 80 hours a week. And he was just like, yeah, like you need to remember that. And, you know, I, again, I did run around and do seven to 11 shows every single, like 11 a night in New Yorkork city i would go do wait a sec 11 in a 24-hour period yeah 11 shows is my record i think the record overall was i think steve burn did 14 in one night or greg giraldo um it's probably i think it's geraldo

rivera i think you said his name wrong geraldo didn't he did many shows in afghanistan wait so how do you do 11 shows how long is a show 30 minutes anywhere 15 to 20 minutes a spot okay so let's say it's 15 minutes holy and then you have to wait while other people go and then you go up again you're just like on a bicycle you just like so what happened and you'll say you'll call the clubs and give them your avails there are at the time there were probably about 10 clubs in new york city oh it's not at the same venue oh and so oh my god right and uh i used to want i wanted a motorcycle so that faster but i mean i was just doing taxis and tax probably the best because or car for the night when i was preparing for a tv show or something i'd rent a car service and have them

sit outside and wait but uh but on a regular night it was always taxis and that that throws a little bit of chaos into it because you run out of the club and got to find a taxi or jump on a subway depending on like if you know you traffic um so what you do is i to do 11 i started at six o'clock there was like an early show did a show at like 6 a.m at a strip club or 6 p.m. Yeah. But I did do shows at strip clubs, too. OK. 6 p.m. You do the show and then. Clubs will have most clubs have like multiple shows, like, let's say, three shows and some clubs have more than one room. So you go in one room, you do a show, you walk out and you do a room, you do a show in the other room. a room you do a show in the other room and um then like the comedy cellar for example has three rooms so i can do now three shows three rooms at the comedy cellar and get nine shows in and stay in basically like one club but wow but this was i'd start on the upper west side do a spot run over

to the upper east side do a spot run like i'd start at stand up new york go over to the comic strip down to danger fields from danger fields go down to the new york comedy club that down to the boston comedy club in the village then go to the comedy side then go up to caroline's maybe back to the comedy cellar maybe back to stand up new york there it's all pinballing around all night long did you ever get tired of hearing yourself talk 11 shows i would like one like after a podcast i kind of just want to put super glue my mouth shut after about four or five shows and i used to drink a lot i'd start going did i tell that joke in this set oh yeah or did that was that the last one um and every once in a while someone would be like

the audience would just go silent and you're like i i did that joke tonight and they'd be like yeah you did i had five girlfriends at the same time once and that shit happened all the time it's a mess five yeah five pussy i had like seven five girlfriends in isla vista california all within a one square mile radius oh you're not joking no sir that's a famous comedian now who had two both lived with him wow what wow guns and one weekdays and he would take all of the one girl stuff and put them in a container and put them in a closet and lock them in the closet. Bring the other girl's stuff out. And I'm talking like clothes, pictures, everything.

Did they know about each other? Oh. Oh, yeah. You got to like you can't. Yeah, you can't. They got to kind of know about each other. They kind of kind yeah. Mine had, you got to like, you can't, yeah, you can't. They got to kind of know about each other. They kind of, kind of got to know. They got to know something.

He did weekday weekend. Yeah. Yeah. If you want to do it full steam ahead, like baller style, like you demand, you got to have, you got, and I was homeless at the time. It was great. It was amazing. That's the greatest story ever. Girlfriend. It really great. It was amazing. That's the greatest story ever. Girlfriend.

It really needs to be a movie. It really needs to be a movie. So during that time is when I met my wife. And I courted her for five years. And I actually wrote a script. It's called Five Years to Fornication. And it's the five years of courtship before i was able to you know you know that's i'm not gonna lie to you i was very similar in the

but i was just a serial uh serial dater in that like women were like you keep a stable yes there was always one on the way out and so you gotta you gotta get one bringing one in and and so i was like i do this with guys because she's like i'm always bringing up one of the relationships yeah always on the way out and i'm always like trying to find a new one because by the time that that way i have a new one in and i was never serious with any of these girls i always wanted when i was serious but did you want to be serious like i wanted to be serious with all of them not at all oh i wanted i was married to my career and all i cared about was stand-up comedy and relationships came second so i never looked for a girl that i could get into a serious like i dated like strippers and crazy girls that would

i would never want to like fall for and have a relationship with because i just didn't want that getting in the way of my life at that time yeah that's hard work that's awesome that's hard work yeah but you know yours is harder because you're trying to like get a relationship with five of these girls that's important yeah yeah it was nuts it was nuts like it was basically it was like a rock collection like you just want to just keep collecting them and adding them and adding them and adding them that's how i you did you did you did 14 shows in one night or no 11 shows in one night i don't want to tell you how many girls i did in one night that'll be a different show you have to come on another time for us to tell that story i i've told you but i never had a one night stand in my entire 49 years of existence

you know that oh you loser um yeah i because the thing was is i figured it was so hard i'm five foot five i have a giant nose i'm armenian i have like some hair on my back and shit like that and it's just so much work getting to that point with a girl that it seemed like an utter fucking waste to bone someone once and let it go it was just like let's say it took i don't i don't know my whole life i've never gone to a bar and like someone, oh, you're cute. You want to go home with me. That is not my life at all. Me, it's like I have to put in a lot of work to get that close to a girl, a lot. I used to think that girls – a lot of girls in my life. And then once I settled down with my wife, no girls ever contacted me again. And I realized it was all me.

Like I was pushing this. There weren't girls like Chase. Oh, wow. That's awesome. What an awesome realization. It ended. It ended completely. I'm not kidding you.

Like since I've been married now like seven eight years i've been even and i'm on stage every night i've been hit on maybe twice and you're not even sure you're like that guy i could put that and i got hit on column yeah yeah dude that's awesome it was like no girl and i used to think i'm like oh my god i have these special powers like women love me and it was like bothering them right uh and i was good at it i i'm not gonna lie uh i used to do a podcast about it where we talked about it and but it was easy you know you are famous for about 15 minutes. And girls are attracted to funny guys.

So if I was making a room full of people laugh, when you say one night stands, it was – I got some notches in the headboard. It was – I told a story. And I've told all this on my old podcast and stuff. So I kind of don't like talking about it now that I have kids. Oh, I understand. But I like sex stories but can you tell us a g-rated one i met a girl one time in newcastle england that i had sex with that i never spoke to wow so out partying after the show she tagged along i just remember like drinking partying after the show, she tagged along. I just remember like drinking, partying with a whole bunch of people, loud nightclubs, getting in a taxi. She got in with me, kind of like so drunk, went home. She followed me home, like basically came in the car with me, went up to my room, had sex or in the morning, woke up, her and said hi i'm eddie what's your name

oh that's amazing did she laugh yeah yeah she thought it was hysterical and i was like what happened like what would and then funny enough about uh a year later or something i was chester england and a really famous funny comedian comedian from the UK named Frankie Boyle that you would love was super famous in the UK. He was hosting the show. And he said, hey, there's a girl in the front row. And I was like, really? So I looked out and I went, oh, my God, that's that girl. You know, I knew it since right you know and i said uh oh shit i

can't remember her name do me a favor can you find out her name from the stage in the mc talks to the audience what's your name yeah yeah and frank and he goes out before he brings me on and uh you know they do the introduction you might have seen this next comedian on this or he's all the way from the united states he goes wants to know your name oh it could have been worse he could have said something even crazier i'm gonna give give him a F in the friend column. Yep. Wow. I just walked out there and just looked at her like, and I was like, oh, oh, so bad.

There's this book I was reading. It's called Bounce. I just finished it. I'm reading this other book now. It's called Influence, another interesting book. But what's funny about it is the book's all about influence but the guy reading the audio book his voice is so repulsive the irony there is crazy it's so crazy i've actually will tolerate anyone reading a book to me but his this guy's voice is so fucked up anyway i just finished reading this book and when i say reading anytime i say reading

i'm lying i listen to audiobooks right in the car when I drive the kids around because that's what I really do for a living. And I was reading this book, Bounce, and the author is named Matt Said or something. I forget what it is. Crazy good book. God, everyone should read this book. So good. It's basically talking about talent versus hard work. And this guy was the number one ping pong player in the UK.

And he tells a story about a guy, and it has multiple levels of insight into the story. It's a great story. But he tells a story about a guy who for five years played ping pong in a shed. He was really poor, and ping pong in a shed. He was really poor and he lived in a poor neighborhood. So he had to walk several blocks to this ping pong shed. And this kid played ping pong in a shed where there was no room to back away from the table. So the shed was so small that when the kid played ping pong in there, his hips were touching the table, right?

And so what that did was is after five years, it made this kid the greatest ping pong player who ever lived out of coming out of the UK. I think they want, his nickname was like Speedy Gonzalez. And what they realized was because he couldn't back away from the table, his reflexes were insane, right? Like the, the, um, the average tennis, I forget what he says. Ping pong player needed 400 milliseconds to react to someone's swing because they react to your swing and your body movement and not the ball. And this guy only needed 200 milliseconds. They somehow measured it. And so that's another thing like – I'm going back to our original conversation about working hard. That's another thing that people don't realize.

People think like luck comes in the form of like Your parents were rich Or the right person saw you on the right day This guy's luck is that he had fucking hardship This fucking guy's luck Is that he had hardship And there's a million stories like that And so if you're a fucking victim And you feel sorry for yourself

You miss the fact that working out in that poor shitty shed Is actually what made this guy the best ping pong player in the world And there's ten gazillion stories like that no one that the the greatest people in the world you're going to find out that uncle buck fingered him at three and that their dad beat him until they were 12 and it's like hey i'm sorry but there's just a ton of that i'm a big i'm a i'm a big fan and kelly slater's the best surfer in the world or was the best surfer in the world arguably the best of all time i mean not there's no argumentater's the best surfer in the world or was the best surfer in the world arguably the best of all time i mean not there's no argument he is the best surfer of all time he's beautiful too

man he's handsome guys the he's you know the man crush of every the guy has everything anyway he grew up in coco beach florida where the waves suck though i mean they comparatively to the rest of the world and same with the brazilians who now rules their waves aren't that good they have to surf these little and because they have to surf these little crummy waves they become so good it's like the talent code i know should i read that oh my god it's such a great book but it sounds like very similar to what you're reading it talks about all these hotbeds of like whatever wherever people are good at what they do um like when you he said there's basically saying there's nothing no such thing as being a natural like you might yeah yeah same same premise like you know like matt frazier is physically built for however he works harder than any

CrossFitter to get that good. The same with like he talks about the Brazilians are so good at because they play this soccer called food, not food. Oh, yeah. Yeah. He talks about that too. Yeah. They touch the ball more than anyone.

And there's all different kinds of like I grew up doing comedy in New York City. I contend that New York stand up comics are the best in the world because we could do 11 shows a night. And the talent code really relates to this, that they talk about wrapping myelin in the book all about your nerve bundling. Yes. It's nerve bundling. Yes. It's nerve bundling. And that, you know, you make mistakes, you correct the mistake. You make the mistake, you correct the mistake. So like the best guy out there makes the most mistakes.

Yep. You see a kid at soccer practice that is the best kid out there, and you're like, wow, what a natural. No, that kid is in their backyard all night long after soccer practice playing soccer uh and it's looking down the street that i was playing catch with it's high school baseball team and i said you know i i did well and made it to college you know and i look back and i'm like did i work work hard? I'm like, to the track. And I was the only kid on my team. And I went to the gym and lifted weights after getting the weight room from the track team.

It takes that extra work. It is that hard work. Now, my state championships are the next. Every kid there. Hard. They all. Right, right. the state championships or the national every kid there hard they all right right talented they're all and that day is like you know i watched the olympic girls this year in the olympics and i expected the u.s guy to win it and the jamaican guy won it and it was a small amount of time that it's. What was the thing that day opposed to this?

When he was jumping over the third hurdle, he hit a fly and that slowed him down just enough to not win it. Don't know. Like it could be, uh, you know, i think about women think about wait before you switch to women is it is it it's 110 meters it's not 100 meters 110 why uh i i forget i looked into this once and i because they took the 100 meters and then they added 10 meters at the start to up to the hurdles the women run 100 meters which is weird okay that is weird okay so sorry the women i thought i thought i was catching you saying something wrong imagine imagine you get

to the crossfit game that day uh you get yeah i think about that all the time. I wonder about that all the time. Yep. I talked about with Ryan Flair, performance training, and he was saying, you know, that's a subject matter that's like becoming increasingly like to deal with. I mean, he's talked about like, because he works with some of the greatest athletes

in the world and you'll see them have a bad match game whatever they do and the public will be like what the fuck you know blah blah blah and they don't know she's going through something that you mr armchair coach you know critic have no idea because you've never done it or been through it and because you're too much of a pussy to even talk about it or think about it you know i brought that up there was an article in the new york times that made me look like shit that's why i brought it up with you oh you want to get me fucking all riled up about fucking the that dumb woke ass fuck katrin david's daughter fucking dipshit but and i don't dislike, but she's a dumb fuck. I mean, it's just the way it is.

You know what I mean? Like, that's like, like, just it's objective. It's objective. It's observational. But back to the talent code. Yes, yes. Good job. Good job.

You win. Thank you. I owe you 10 bucks for letting me just throw that into the show, by the way. I'm going good job you win thank you i owe you 10 bucks for letting me just throw that into the show by the way i'm gonna send you a thank you card you get so good i think live is this guy named dave attell and dave does still to this day he's been doing comedy for 35 years or whatever it is and he does he does five six shows every single night and it's all he likes to do he doesn't like to do anything else he loves to do stand-up he used to write for saturday night live and he would leave the tape they couldn't find him and we

had the same manager calls from lauren michaels going like where is dave we're taping right so my manager would track him down this before cell phones and he'd be at the comedy cell. He's like, what are you doing? It's like, I'm doing a set. He's like,

you're supposed to be at SNL. He's like, they don't need me right now. He's like, they're shooting that. And wow. Over and over and over again. And it doesn't work on the first.

And fix it on the second show. You tweak it a little more third show. You're like, I think I got it. So you're doing all this nerve bundling and you're doing it. Whereas now that I live in LA, I might get one show a night and I'll do one show. And then I've got hours for the next show to fix it.

Tweak so much in New York and then some shows in london was a little bit wow i'm feeling it yeah that you would just get these guys and they're in you know their match fit these guys are just ready to go and and i'm i'm intimidated when i go back to new york and i throw myself into and i might have a lot more success than these guys that i'm i i'm like fuck i gotta follow this guy he is just roaring right now like this guy has it and he's doing those five six seven shows a night every night and you're like and i and not not to say i was special or good or anything like that, but I remember when like sign come in and Chris Rock and they'd be off doing sitcoms and they'd pop in to do stand up. I've been doing it.

Years or, you know, they do it like once. And could you see the rest on him? Could you see the rest on him? Fuck yeah. fuck yeah and here's the thing no one because they're so famous the crowd would you know the crowd would fuck the tape i'm coming oh my god it's jerry seinfeld holy shit and so comedians were always intimidated by that and i was like put me on after him i'll go on right after seinfeld and they're like you really you want to and i'm like yeah because i felt like i'm in shape right now i've been working every day and there's no expectations for me people are like i'll watch this guy bomb after seinfeld and so you know it i love that spot i mean i've

heard so many comics go i hate following famous people and i'd be like oh it's the i think it's the best if you're in shape and and you're ready it's the best spot on the show how old are you eddie i'm 50 oh shit you look good do you dye your hair no i just got accused of dying my beard but i i've got the gray ones in there kids it's that that special you have malabama how old is that i did that god you look fucking good holy shit you have nice skin and everything yeah it's getting there i i i was a lifeguard for all through college sat on the beach eight hours a day no and uh uh done damage here um, I just went to the skin checked cause I had a mold that I thought was, I was sure it was cancer and the guy looked, but it's not, I'm sorry to hear that

that you got let down. The guy looked at it and he goes like this. He goes, if you hypochondriac, if you Google melanoma, he goes, that looks, he goes under the microscope. That does not look like yeah that's the virgin mary that's the virgin mary under a microscope yeah so uh did you watch abin costello as a kid yeah i loved him i just watched him the other day probably two days ago now that he's on first. Yep.

Because she had never seen that. She had seen it. She was like, Oh, I remember that. But, uh, my wife's younger than me. My wife's 12.

My wife's, she's like 13 years younger than me. And so some, and she'd be like, I was in eighth grade when that happened you know like oj simpson she's like i was um a woman in her 30s that's that's that's that's a lot of servicing yeah tell me about it that is a lot of servicing so abed, a comedian friend of mine did a thing about the WHO. The who?

World Health Organization? That WHO? Yeah, and he keeps doing, who says that we should get vaccinated again? And the guy with him is like, but who says? He's like, who says that we need to get? And he's like, yeah, I'll do it, but you need to tell me who is telling you to do that and he's like who and i'm watching it and it's funny and i'm like this is who's on first and uh my wife's like huh i'm like watch abbott and costello which i watched and by the way

holds up right now it's fucking brilliant and it's it's better writing the 95 of the shit you'd see out there that makes me so happy so as a kid i woke up every saturday morning uh uh 5 a.m um and i'd run out to the tv set and you know the tv then only had like three channels and i would just start watching cartoons and when all the cartoons were over on sat mornings, like, I don't know, like at 10, then the dumb shows would start, like Shirley Temple and that shit. But if I waited long enough, and I always would, there would be an Abbott and Costello show that would come on. And it would be like Abbott and Costello meet the Frankenstein, Abbott and Costello meet the werewolf, Abbott and Costello. It was fucking amazing. And I watched Abbott and Costello for years every Saturday, the black and white shows.

And I had the cassette tape with the who's on first and i was just i was determined to be um like uh lou costello that was the short fat one right yes i wanted to be lou costello so bad as a kid and then and i grew up in the bay area and then um i got really really at a young age into rodney dangerfield and i had this my dad at a very young age i was probably like in the sixth grade bought me this set of 10 books it was um the world's most dirt dirtiest jokes or something and it was a 10 book like collection of these really skinny books and and and my dad and i drove a lot like like to la or to tahoe or we would just my dad would just take me on trips all the time and i would just read dirty jokes to him that i'm they would probably just in hindsight i mean probably would just freak out most parents

right and uh it was awesome and and and i one time i, like, I don't know, like I was 10, 11, 12, and I won tickets on KFRC 610 on the AM dial to go see Rodney Dangerfield at Shoreline. And my mom fucking took me to go see Rodney Dangerfield at Shoreline live. Dude, it was crazy. He's one comedian. I've met almost everybody in the business. Big enough name from Sasha Baron Cohen to Wilfred. You name it. I've met Rodney.

You know, I met Carlin. I've like buddy. Wow. Williams a bunch of time. I worked with Howie Mandel the other night. It's just like... Is he as weird as Howard makes him out to be? I was expecting, because of COVID, for him to be like...

Yeah. And he came in, and I think I saw him shake some hands or bump some people. And he was wearing a mask the whole time, except when he went on stage, which, you know, I'm kind of like, if you're going to... You like, if you're going to, you know, if you're going to like, I think it's weird that people wear them into a restaurant and then take them off, then put them on.

Cunts, they're cunts. They're fear mongering cunts. I don't mean that again as a bad thing, but the mask is the fear flag, whether you want it to be or not, whether it is to you or not, you're telling everyone around you that there's something scary there and you're scared of it and so if you take it on and off on and off on and off then you're just a douchebag sorry so and i like a lot of douchebags by the way i have a lot of friends who are douchebags so rodney is the one that i i never met andy kaufman i would have loved to have met andy kaufman and Rodney and Andy. I've met Tony

Clifton. I had Tony Clifton on my podcast. I don't know if you know who that is. Tony Clifton was Andy's alter ego, his manager. He played a manager who was like this violent, drunk, womanizing asshole. And then when he died, his real became tony clifton and his real and then everybody thought andy was still alive because tony would show up places they're like wait andy how is this how is this happening and then they're like wait is this happening? And then they were like, wait, is this, so there's this guy, Bob Zmuda, and Bob Zmuda is Tony Clifton, although he'll deny it. House in Tahoe and Tony Clifton. But Bob Zmuda arranged that I meet Tony Clifton.

It's really crazy. But Andy, it was like they would both play him. What podcast episode is that? I want to go back and listen to that. That would have been, I think that's the very first that I did. It was called The Bingle Show. How many episodes have you done? How long have you been doing it?

Talking shit, I did five. Wingmen, I did back in like, I did like 10 episodes of the show with a guy named brian callan and the funny thing is it was all about like picking up women and then on uh the new york time or the la about brian like accusing him of raping women i was like ah maybe i shouldn't have done a podcast about even though brian's by the way the la times also called larry elder a white man and uh black face la times is the most racist pile of shit fucking if you support the la times or the new

york times you're a fucking idiot you might as well go back in time and vote for hitler you are a fucking racist sexist scumbag if you support either of those newspapers they're horrible they're worse than reddit sorry brian is uh brian is a friend of mine and uh i don't want to get into like the accusations or that's a whole other thing um but brian is a friend of mine and uh and then i did talking shit for – I did 500 episodes. $499. I quit at $499 because I thought anybody could do 500. How long did it take you to do those? I don't know how many years.

Maybe like – but I'm about to hit 500 on the WODcast too. So WODcast is up near 500 episodes and uh how and how long do you think it'll take did it take you to do that the reason why i ask is because this guy matt souza who's like kind of stepped on my dick and told me like hey you got to do this podcast i told him i said i'm gonna do 500 and i figured i could do 502 years you could do 502 years easily i mean rogan probably does that you know because but i but i have to you have to basically be obsessed i'm obsessed yeah i don't i don't like i just was bitching about gary v yesterday uh to someone you know gary v's like you gotta put content out there you everything you see, you got to put it on the internet.

And baseball players only hit the ball 20% of the time. None of your content hits. 20% of it's going to... There's so many times that I look at my digital phone. I'm like, I just put a lot of shit out there. I like that. I feel like it's narcissistic of me to think people want to hear me well it hey if i'm not feeling uncomfortable every show then i didn't do a good job that

means like i'm not giving my best to the audience i should feel uncomfortable i should feel like i'm vulnerable i should feel like i've i should be like second guessing myself. And if I'm not, then it is more like littering. But if I'm, but if I'm, if I'm really putting it out there and, and I actually, it's funny, I haven't gotten to any of my notes about you,

but I have this one like very serious question to ask you about all of that. Ready? Your, your whole life, you're supposed to like, you know, enlightenment is, is sorry, too deep.

Let me reel it in. How do you know if you're a good comic? Your whole life you're taught like, hey, love yourself and just like yourself. Or how do you know if you have a good podcast? The truth is, is if no one – like I've always wanted to be a comedian and I'm not a comedian. And like so that's why I want to start having a lot of comedians on the show so i can live through them vicariously and like um think i'm cooler than i really am but um you're i'm okay with my success being determined by other people like if people don't like my podcast that means my podcast sucks

to me and i'm kind of okay with that and i would think that the same is kind of like that for being a comedian like could you be a could keep a great comedian and everyone thinks you suck yeah i think so i think explain explain that to me because i know it goes it's taboo to like put your happiness in other people's hands or your success in other people's hands but i'm kind of like, fuck it. I'm going to just do it. Like am I going to get my heart stepped on? From the beginning, comics recommendations for me always were do what you think is funny, not what the audience think is funny.

Right. There's the paradox, right? Yeah. Bill Hicks always said play to the back of the room, meaning like play to the comics. uh bill hicks always said play to the back of the room meaning like play to the comics because the comics know ultimately have a better sense of humor than the average person because comics are experts in comedy they study comedy so you know a hack comedian can go out and kill with the audience but a cover band is going to kill with an audience too but you're not going to buy their albums uh you know a cover band is going to come out and win all your favorites

you know brown-eyed girl and everybody's going to scream and dance but you know if it was some cool band that was like incredibly musically talented and no one knew the words to their song. These guys might be good, but I'm not. So why is that? That's like the Milli Vanilli phenomenon. I never understood that when people found out that it really wasn't them singing the song tanked. I'm like, what do you give a fuck? That's a whole other thing, I think, with people being fooled. Yeah.

You look at Avicii, who had really popular music, like EDM kind of music, and he didn't sing any of his own songs. He was the person who sang the songs, but his name was on them. Who's the singer? Who's the singer of these songs that everybody's getting all the credit? Who's the singer of these songs that everybody – you're getting all the credit. So as a comedian, I think in the beginning, everybody tells you to strive for this integrity and blah, blah, blah. Get caught up in, wait a minute, I want to – how do I kill? How do there's there's constantly that torn apart the art versus commercialism where right i gotta make i gotta make the money but at the same time i want to do

this really unique different stuff and all my favorite comics were all the ones that didn't give a fuck took me a long time to get to not give a when i wish i took the road from the beginning gotten to where i wanted to be a lot quicker uh but it would have been hard it would have been hard but there's a paradox there right like the whole like i'm kind of in that place too like i was trying to see what my hat would look like on backwards. I've never worn it backwards on the podcast. I'm vetoing it right now. I'm in a really good place right now because I don't give a fuck too. But I do give a fuck.

But I'm in the I don't give a fuck space. I'm in the I don't give a fuck space because like I can't go any lower. I was fired from my job a year and a half ago like they're like i have my kids in my life and like fuck what like not you can do nothing to me now and that way i don't give a fuck but i do give a fuck in terms of i don't want to litter like that term you used earlier and i do like if i'm littering and people aren't enjoying the podcast and people aren't enjoying the guests and if there's not something people are taking away being better from it and so I do then I just wouldn't do it yeah there are times where I feel like I'm littering and I get mad at myself I used to not because you want because you care because you want people to laugh right so you

have to go up there and not give a shit about your comedy but you have to kick it's it's weird it's weird man well i went forever not caring i went okay and i would do comedy that you know i always use people you say what kind of comedy i would like i would say i take the things that are the most challenging the hardest things to laugh at and i try to make you laugh at them i want the audience i love the laugh we're bold God. I should not be laughing at this. However, when I had children, I evolved. And I became a different person because of my children. And so my comedy has changed a lot. Love to be offensive.

And the woke culture. Because people are like like aren't you so what are you gonna cancel yeah the chuckle hut next week is there really a place called that the chuckle hut you're the worst names ever all comedy clubs have the worst names and it's just it's so embarrassing when friends are like, where are you? Ha ha cafe and go do it. It's just like, I, I prefer clubs that don't have that. Like, OMG, is that really the name of the cafe? Ha ha.

OMG. Go bananas. There's a club in Cincinnati called go bananas. And it's just, I, to say I have to work there is, is awful. So,

um, but if nobody laughed, you would be like every fucking comedy comic. Like you want to hear people laugh. And so your success really is dependent on, you have to accept the fact that you have you have to accept that it's it's a paradox right that depends because when i my comedy was all about pranks and fucking with people and my friends people and they would laugh so i was

trying to make a subset of people laugh by kind of making fun of other people or at the expense of other people i'll use sasha baron not saying anything like him my comedies like him the joke is on everyone else sasha's doing what he's doing and we as the viewer are watching him pull this like stunt off on everyone we are laughing we're on his side now like we're in we're the viewer we know we're in we're inside we know um when i started doing stand-up comedy i had to let the audience in and it's weird to me because i'm like you guys aren't the people that i want to make laugh. You're the people that I want to play the joke on that other people laugh at. And so it was very difficult for me in the beginning.

And I didn't know how to do that. But like now studying comedy and understanding it, people like Andy Kaufman did that. Like their whole his whole thing was the joke was on the audience i'm gonna say something stupid here i apologize uh in advance when you say so was your original comedy when you were taught when you're referencing like you play pranks on people would it just be just like like you'd be like there's this thing we used to do as a kid. We would go to the library in the seventh grade and we would, uh, the public library and my friends and I would pull out like a playboy. And then we'd, one of us would have to be like, walk up to the library and open it up to the centerfold and be like it while everyone else

watching, like, is this appropriate? Do you know what my mom would say can you believe this woman's vagina and then and then the joke was on the librarian we were complaining about playboy magazines in the library is that what you mean by like you used to do shit like that like just stand up for your friends and just pick people on the sarandos and just fuck with them that's the exact same thing and okay how do you how do you transform and because it's all of i want the joke to be let them in on the joke so what i kind of into at some point my career was these jokes that upset people and i'm going to bring up a subject that they're like you don't tell this joke you know i i loved i'd go to like do a show to college and they're like hey dude i mean it was just here and i was like okay and i would

kidding joke you know it's like whatever you told me not it was the taboo subject is exactly what i was going to do and there were people in the audience that would be upset about it and i always said keep getting upset because it makes the person next to you because right being upset it wasn it's it look i've hurt people's feelings and i don't want to do that um but i have done it and i'm sorry i've done it uh but it's just it's kind of utilitarianism like the greatest good for people like people like well shouldn't you cater your jokes to everyone and i'm like i don't have the ability to do that maybe i do now but you know i just i loved andy

kaufman and my comedy again i'm nothing like him but i just at rodney dangerfield's club the manager told me a story once and i said did you ever know andy kaufman and the owner of the club who was rodney's manager said to me he goes andy kaufman andy kaufman he goes huh yeah yeah i remember that guy and i'm like how do you not this is kind of how out of it the owner was. Yeah. Not know. I go, did he ever play? He goes, yeah, yeah, yeah. He goes, we had him try out here once in the old days. He goes, the tryouts where the young comics would come in after the show at the end of

the night and the staff would sit in the audience and the, the new comics would get it like three minutes in front of the night and the staff would sit in the audience and the the new comics would get it like three minutes in front of the staff and the staff would then vote i'm a regular comic here he goes so we had heard one guy and how he was like new up and coming dark and he goes so we gave him his audition one night he goes so he shows up and all the new comics are doing their show it's andy's turn he's got three minutes he comes kid on stage puts a drum kit together they're like he's getting ready and all the comics are kind of giggling and he's getting ready and he goes then he leaves the stage and we go where'd he go they go oh he went downstairs to put his costume on puts on his elvis costume or whatever it is he comes up on stage now he's gone way over his three

minutes and they're like what the fuck you know like it's late night and everything we got to go and what's this guy doing comes on stage he takes a bow they're like what goes back downstairs takes his elvis costume off puts his street clothes on comes back upstairs starts breaking down the drum kit taking piece by piece out to the van outside then he gets in the van and drives away the owner said to me i never fucking hired that guy ever and i go that's the funniest thing i've ever heard like that is brilliant and he's like what is i go what i go the fucking joke he played on you guys and he goes oh man what joke what joke and i go you don't get it you were part of like one of the greatest jokes ever

that i've ever heard at a comedy club. I go, how long did that last? He goes, Oh man, that guy took up like a fucking half hour of my time. And I go, that's genius. And he's like, he's an asshole. And so, you know, it can be both. It could be both subjective. And I look at it as though I would have been crying, laughing, crying, watching that happen. Whereas 90% of the audience would have been like, who is this fucking asshole and what is he doing? When you said, when you said, when someone asked, well, can you tell clean jokes or whatever? I immediately thought – yeah, I started just – my brain started going off, and I'm just thinking like, yeah, you got Bill Cosby who made a career out of telling clean jokes but then was drugging women at night. And it reminds me of the Republican senator who fucking comes out with all the fucking anti-homosexual bills. Yeah, then he's in the bathroom jerking off.

And then it's the same thing with our current president. We have a guy who's the most blatantly racist human being ever to lead this fucking country in my lifetime. And yet he's charging the anti-racist front. It's crazy. I was trying to explain it to someone the other day. If my neighbor stood on his front porch and said, I am not a pedophile. I hate all pedophiles. And his lawn was covered with signs that said, I hate pedophiles. Like guys, like, come on, man, come on. The world is such a funny place like that. How it's that, it's that, um, uh, kindergarten psychology, you have one finger pointed at me and you have four pointed back

at yourself. And it's like almost always true. It's like, anyway, I got off on that. Cause when you were saying people want you to tell clean jokes, it's like, yeah, look at the comics. You tell clean jokes. Look, look at my friend is a porn star has a great phrase. I think they use it in the porn industry. She goes, people jerk off the right hand finger with their left hand. Yeah. Wow.

Wow. Yes. Yes. I think porn is the greatest example of that in the world. I think porn is the greatest example of that in the world, how those people are not vilified but shunned and looked down upon the entire industry. Meanwhile, you click on their videos and there are 80 billion views, which means everyone's watching it. Everyone's watching it. Everyone's using it. But yet you wouldn't have a conversation with that person or, you know, pull your children away or whatever. I had my wife's at my wife's baby shower.

One of my friends who's a porn star was there and my wife invited her. She became friends with her through me and she had her at the baby shower. And my wife's friends with all these like girls that were like debutante type girls, you know. And there's this girl who I'll tell you, it's Bonnie Rotten. And Bonnie is at. I'll look her up when the show's over. No, look her up now and you'll it'll it'll spur your conversation even more. OK.

She's got spider web tattoos on her boobs. She's one of the nicest people I know. And she's always been a good friend to me. And there's like no sexual relationship whatsoever. We talk about our kids all the time. And she's just great. She's like a wonderful person. Oh, she's she's very attractive.

She is. She's very pretty and she's very into guns now. She's all about shooting and tactical games and stuff like that. She's gotten out of the porn world. But it was so funny because. And I said, how was your how was your baby shower? She's like, it was good. I was like, how is everyone with Bonnie? You know, was it weird?

She's like, what do you mean? I was like, well, was it weird that Bonnie was there? And she says, no, people loved her. And I was like, she's like, why would you think people wouldn't love her? You know, she's great. And I'm like yeah okay but it was me just assuming that everyone would be like oh porn star blah blah but maybe they didn't know she was a porn star did they know she did because at one point one point somebody said what do you do and

she said i fuck for money oh that's awesome she's one of the funniest people i met her in um i met her in the last game off stage and she chased me out the door and she was a pretty girl and yeah i was married at the time but she's like who are you who are you you're so funny i need to she's like are you on twitter and i was like yeah and she tweeted me like i told my wife i'm like lauren look at i just met i'm like showing her and i pulled up her porn i'm like look at this look at this oh my god i'm like she goes my wife's so smart she goes so i had her on she sits down and i think my first question was what's the worst thing you've ever done in porn and she goes i

wow on in porn and she goes i wow wow wow i was like we're gonna be good friends wow is that the only porn star you've had on your show? No, I've had tons. She was the one I really enjoyed because there was, there very interesting, very smart. She said to me, I, I knew I was going to do it for a little bit and I be the best. I'm going to be the best there is.

And she became the AVn performer of the year which is the highest award and then she got out oh she does so she's a hard worker was she a hard worker follow her on all she posts are videos of her shooting now uh-huh by rifle range you know games and oh that kind of shooting. Okay, I thought I was thinking like behind the camera. Okay, yeah, you said that shooting, right. She is so into it. She's absolutely obsessed with it.

And you can see that she's got that personality. Do you ever feel like it's a waste doing other people's podcasts? Like, hey, this should be... You should have been spending this time doing your own podcast. No, I like doing other people's podcasts because the parameters aren't there. I can go outside of what I have to do.

I'm not enjoying doing mine. And I'll switch it. I'll fix it because I'm not enjoying it. What do you mean? Why aren't you enjoying it? Did you ever enjoy it? First, let me start there. Yeah, I enjoyed it.

Wodcast is the only one I'm doing right now, and Wodcast, there are constraints of falling into what the listener expects, and doing formula, and i hate oh there see we circled back there we are again like we do this thing and it's like we're supposed to just do stuff for ourselves and be ourselves and yet if no one likes us we're a failure and i and i'm kind of i'm starting to be like okay with that but it's weird yeah and the commercialism of it you know it's like hey i make money doing this i have to do it and if i switch the brand then you know i see people that are on brand all the time like i look at conan o'brien how do you not kill yourself doing the same fucking show every night for 25 years like i know it's different and it's a variety show but it's the

same formula every night this and that and so i just the great thing about me never i never you know i've had a million pilots none of them ever get picked up and the best part about that is that my life is so random that it's always interesting where if I – I work at comedy clubs sometimes, I guess, and it will be seven nights in a row. By night – Get the fuck out of here. I cannot walk on the – so when – I'm falling into a bit of complacency with my show right now but i also love i like talking to interesting people like you well thank you no i mean i who or when but every once in a while i get a bad guest processors are bad guests and i blame myself i was just telling my wife i was like i blame

myself for not doing enough research and not coming up with funny enough questions so i'm really throw question that their answer doesn't even matter. So because they can't roll. A lot of them became workout people because they're insecure and they're not socially that that's not their thing. Yeah, I did a show with a guy named Colton Mertens. Oh, yeah. And he and and then I did more recently a show with uh um the girl took second laura horvat and the one in both of them were like really really hard shows but for different reasons but you know what it made me want to do it makes me want like so now

i want to have like colton mertens on like so i want to when i on the weekends i'm going to start doing these shows i'm going to rip this idea off from howard stern actually i'm looking for someone to do it right now i'm going to start doing a show that's like the news right you know how robin like will read by the way i can't stand howard anymore i stopped listening to him like two years ago because he's just spreading fear around unnecessary fear around covid he's a he's a bitch i've the highest i've heard order so i'm just to let you know i'm i i grew up with his wife grade school high school college we're friends just saw his mom at her mom at a funeral i know howard is very very afraid so yeah he's a bitch so he is he is very afraid of covet and even if i

was a bitch i wouldn't spread the fear that's that that's the other thing too like there's things that i do like like i tell people don't eat sugar and don't eat refined carbohydrates, but it, and I don't drink alcohol, but it does happen. It does happen. There'll be a time where I'll have a fucking kombucha while I'm watching UFC fights, you know, once a month, I don't post that shit on Instagram, not because I'm being fake, but because that's not the message I want to spread. That's not like, I don't show my, like my kid does, my kid will occasionally, like I'll go to a birthday party and he'll eat some ice cream at some kid's house. I don't post that. I don't, I don't lie about it, but I just say, Hey, yeah, I don't feed my kids, uh, uh, added sugar, refined carbohydrates. And if it does happen, I don't like, I'm not like one of those people

who's saying, Hey, B I'm a vegan. And vegan and then and then get caught eating steak but you but you have to realize that we're all influencing other people you have to have a certain without being fake you have to respect your platform and if you're scared of covid i get it but if but don't spread that fear because there's nothing to fucking be afraid of if you're a healthy person like nothing you're more likely to die falling down the fucking stairs that that ship has sailed though um what do you mean like i was just talking to my wife about it i said look um you well i don't want to get into it as far as like vaccinations and this and that. And I said, we can do all the protocol that is right or that is mandated or asked. I said,

but I don't think it's healthy for us to talk about COVID ever. Oh, okay. Children. And I said, I think like this thing, I agree. It's going to take its course wherever it goes,

but I've asked COVID, but I've had friends that have had it many, many, many. And I will say to them, and maybe you have had it. Do you know for sure you haven't had it? I don't know.

And I could have, okay. I've said to friends when you got it, how bad, you know, they all go and I had this and I had that and I go, yeah, but how much of that could have just been psychosomatic? And, and I know people that have had it really bad or this or that, but my point is that it's so, there is so much fear

mongering that when you get it, you're like, I go, I'd freak out if I got it because they have talked about it so much. And I have heard, I have a really good brain of storing every little thing I've ever heard. And I am a bit of a hypochondriac and, um, every little thing that's story, it'll like, oh my God. Like as soon as I had that thing on my leg, I remembered this guy. I knew that passed away that a mole between his toes that never saw it. And I'm at the doc know and i'm like i remember that so i think all the talk that's gone on of covid has uh you know same with cancer my uh my oh cancer is the identical there's this book called ravenous you have to read it by Sam Apple. Cancer is – in 1930, cancer was the COVID of today. And Hitler was terrified, terrified of cancer.

He spent – he was the leader in cancer research. It was amazing. They were basically going to take over the Ukraine and kill all the people and just plant fields of organic food there for the Germans. They were terrified of cancer. And now look, 600,000 people die every year in the United States from cancer, and they never found the cure for it. You know why they didn't find the cure for it? For the same reason they're never going to find the cure for COVID.

There is no fucking cure. You have to stop eating poison. You have to stop fucking eating poison, and then you're good. 99% of you will be good. If you stop eating poison, you won't get cancer and you won't die of COVID peace and love. I, uh,

I don't want to change the subject completely, but, um, please do to do it. Cause I want to talk about pod, go back to podcasts. Uh, we were,

no, we're, we're like, that's why I like talking. basically so so so getting tired of podcasts so basically what one of the things i want to do is i want to steal that idea from and i just talked to james hobart about this last night yeah and um something may have changed with your audio just now is your does my audio sound okay to you uh your audio sounds fine mine's mine's oh that's better when when when you lean back, I think.

Okay. Um, so I want to take this idea on the Howard Stern show, uh, uh, the, uh, what's her name? I was going to call her Joan Rivers. It's not Joan Rivers, Robin Quivers. Robin Quivers does the news, right? Where she reads like 30 headlines from the news and they go through and it takes anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour. And basically one day a week, I want to do that. And I asked James Hobart if he'd want to be the news guy. And, uh, he said, he'll think about it. But if I don't find James Hobart to be the news guy, I need to find someone. And I would love a black lesbian Jewish woman to do it. Cause I think that would cover a lot of bases and give us a lot of give us a lot of cover but if not I'll take the white guy James Hobart and um and I'm so but I want to do that I'm excited to like steal that idea and run with it once a week and do the live show on Saturday and Sunday that's why I do this show live now Eddie because it's scary and

terrifying by the way I'm sorry I was chewing ice I try not to do that but but it's my show sorry the ghost of Versailles you on that note I tried to do that with Wodcast okay so to go live or have a new show have a new show so when Wodcast was going on and it was Scott Arman

Hammer and myself oh you worked with Arman Hammer it was my partner okay got our first it was kenny kane armin and i that became this guy scott uh armin and i and armin knew everything about crossfit i mean everything so i was like yeah he does and i was like i don't pay attention to it and i'll just throw in jokes here and there that's all i wanted to be was like kind of the guy that just makes off-color funny stuff yeah me too we all split and went our separate ways anyway i had what was the other guy's name scott what scott mcgee i wonder if i know him he's a SWAT team guy um sounds very familiar i'm gonna google. At one point, I had contacted the guy who does Morning Chalk Up, Justin LaFranco.

Okay. And I said, this is back when Morning Chalk Up had just begun. We come on our show and do a segment each week on the news of CrossFit. Because I didn't want to have to follow CrossFit. Right. I'll just let someone else be able to tell who's doing what, where's there's this, blah, blah. And he was like, tell me your demographics and tell me this and tell me that. I was like, this isn't going to work out.

Yeah, that dude's on that dude's on the spectrum for sure. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but for sure. For 100%. So I just it wasn't our personalities nothing against him it's just with it's okay if there was something against him it's that's fine too but my he's a he he's a he's a he's i shouldn't i shouldn't open that door. Oh, man. He's a fucking just another woke bitch. Go on.

Oh, God. They're so fucking woke. Those fucking idiots. Those fucking idiots posted, made a post on their fucking Instagram of fucking Dave Castro and basically insinuating that he was closed-minded and fucking bigoted and just wasn't open to shit. Meanwhile, he's wearing a fucking, in the picture, he's wearing a shirt, the gay flag CrossFit shirt. This is the SEAL Team 6 guy wearing the gay flag CrossFit shirt,

and they're trying to call him out for being a bigot. I mean, it's just such shallow, no-integr integrity bullshit over there at the morning chalk up they're cunts i blocked them like fucking years ago there's like the whole anyway but but but i like what they're doing and they and some of their content's good and i have no problem giving them credit where credit is due but like they have no problem like i guarantee you that there's a rule you're not allowed to say my name over there. Reference my podcast over there. All those fucking idiots are either threatened, terrified, jealous or hate me. And they should be because I'm free and I'm not a racist and I'm not a sexist and I'm not a homophobe. And so I don't have to pretend like I am or I'm not like those fucking woke jackasses. jackasses and they they suck dick and pander to the community as their daily like habit and and i don't have to do that and like they're just douches i funny 117 episodes in and i really have tried all 117 episodes not to say anything negative

about these people but and and it really shouldn't i guess maybe it's not negative it's just objective yeah i don't think there's observation i i've always found like when critics review my shows uh sometimes it's really harsh and i'll look at it and go they're fucking right you know it'll hurt and i'll go but they're dead on right like you didn't like your review and i'm like i know i don't like that they were right oh right right no like i don't like i get that you know like it hurts but they were right i get mad when they're not right when they've made up bullshit you should read my one review that i got a review one time in australia that they wanted to have me deported um oh that's awesome so this big fat one-eyed cross-eyed lesbian feminist woman who literally like talked of having me deported from australia and i used her review on the back cover of my dvd and uh i just thought it was hysterical

yeah i think that's good you'll one start review and i said that went with her to the show that wrote for another paper game review and i changed my poster to say critics agree I love it. I love it. I, I, I think, I think it's a shame not to, to, to, I think it's a shame to not realize that rising tides float all ships like that. You shouldn't be threatened by people in your space. You shouldn't be jealous of people in your space. You should be inspired and you should basically on some level be all supporting each other. In sports, it's a zero-sum game. I beat you. I win.

You lose. We're at zero. The world of economies does not work like that. If someone is succeeding, we're all succeeding. And that's what the woke crowd fucking does not get they're fucking miserable curmudgeons in 1986 mercedes-benz put an airbag in their 560 sel was the first airbag in a production car now every tom dick and harry has an airbag in their car and yet still the woke crowd and these fucking idiots complain about the discrepancy of wealth

you can't talk about the discrepancy of wealth if you also don't consider the fact that poor people have more access and more opportunity and are richer than any poor people in the history of mankind. What do I mean by that? Everyone has a fucking smartphone. Everyone has an airbag in their car. People are sleeping in their cars. And so like – and you want to be mad at Bezos and this other virgin Atlantic guy for going to the Mars? If we don't let people get that rich, none of us will ever go to Mars. Someone fucking has to do it first.

Quit trying to pull people down from the fucking top to make the people at the bottom better. The discrepancy isn't the measurement it's the overall health of everyone relative to where it was 10 years ago is the only metric that matters you guys are screwing everything up and which brings me to that to one of your other podcast buddies who you had a breakup with and i watched the video on youtube yesterday and he's a bitch too that guy can come get some too i'll fuck him up jim jeff what yeah he's a cunt he's the stupidest fuck ever i regret listening to that eight minute video i don't know if you're friends with him now but he said some dumb ass shit about people's rich parents buying them shit you don't know shit dude you need to shut the fuck

up it's what when that happened that was by the way this is the most negative i've ever been on my podcast i really apologize i hope people will tune out by this point i've never really talked about this on a podcast okay go ahead i was gonna address it i was gonna go to one and that's out there he's a fucking idiot and i don't even know him or your beef but he said some shit that's so not true there like there's really really fucking poor people who've saved a lot of money working in the field and i come from those kind of fucking people who fucking were making seven dollars an hour saved every penny they had so that after 30 years of saving money they could lend that money

to their kids so that their kids could buy a house. It's not rich parents lending their fucking buying their kids house. It's good parents. It's good fucking parents looking out for the generations ahead of them and saving money and trying to help people. I'd live in a car before I sold my house so that I could give it to my kids. I wish my.

Because I pay that fucking. Yes. Every week and it's impossible but what happened was and i i that was on burt kreischer's podcast they do that burt's a good friend of mine burt said hey whatever happened to you and eddie um jim and i had a falling out when we did this uh when we did a podcast together because i used to just got a sitcom i got uh we or jim got a sitcom and i got the podcast so who won in that divorce uh that was my joke the truth of the story he was my roommate for three years he was becoming very successful i was not jealous of him i was helping him i did

so much to help him and hope that his career would excel. The narcissistic piece of shit. And I always swear I wouldn't talk about him anymore. And he comes across like that, by the way. He totally comes across like that. He said I was jealous of him. I believe he was jealous of me because

I'm happy. Because I have like a happy family life and hobbies and take care of my body to do things, to make my life better. Whereas, you know, he's got all these issues, um, and it suffers from depression and all this stuff. Anyway, we had a show and we were selling ads for our show. Um, at one point we went to collect on the ads from this one guy that was selling ads for us and he wouldn't pay and the guy was going through

this podcast network and he never paid us he never paid the network the network never paid us and when we decided to divide up the podcast jim goes give me half the money that's in the account and take my name off the show. And I said, okay, there's only about $500 in the account and we need that to pay bills. Right. Probably more bills than the money that's in the account. Right. And he

said, I said, so actually you probably should give me some money so that I can pay all the bills. And, you know, because we have you know money to or whatever it may be you know even hosting the podcast like hosting this podcast cost me a couple hundred bucks a month he didn't understand any of that because he never did any of the administration right and he said oh there should be like there's like it started out there was 11 000 it's 11 000 and i said we know you can ask jay moore who was the owner of the network

we didn't get paid for that he goes on and everything he ever does an embellishment on bert's podcast he said there was like 40,000. So yeah, it was 40. And I even said to him, we never got paid. We have the same. You can ask the accountant. He will explain. That was because I've told you. And he was like, just give me my money.

And I was like, there's no money to give you. Ask the accountant. He'll explain this to you. And I said, there's like 500. He goes, well, goes well just i said here's the password you have it anyway take it all i don't care you can have it fuck you fuck you and how are your stories so different isn't that crazy because he's a storyteller that's what he does and the victim and everyone else so um i always swore i'd never talk myself having to defend myself until a couple guys made about him and they made some documentaries about him that showed that shed some light on who he really was um and then he had this he had this

with uh he brought a guy on his pot on his tv show and basically the guys, the guys like a, a nationalist and he's an Australian guy and Israeli guy living in Australia, immigrants coming into Australia on your show. Just don't, you cannot put me on the premises like Hitler or anything like don't do that. And also don't context so sure enough the guy recorded secretly recorded his interview and then jim did his interview and at one point stopped he goes mate we're gonna edit this i'll say watch me say this about muslims watch me say this watch me very woke on his comedy central show but here he is is like trashing Muslims. And so the guy then released on YouTube the whole interview,

Catching Jim. Now, I ended my friendship with that guy, but the other day, my mom passed away a few weeks ago. He contacted me and said, sorry to hear about your mom which i did when his mom died i'm not an animal you know right right right i just i don't like i liked having good people in my life i put him out of my life because i just didn't feel like there was any benefit in my life i was on his sitcom um i had a part in his sitcom like don't you know i don't know him for that like i i owe nothing for that in fact they said they wanted to give me a reoccurring role on it like hey we're gonna make this reoccur and i was like i told my wife for me to be on the sitcom you know regular character make sure i say no like we would like that money but make sure i say no have you ever ended a friendship over money like ended yeah me neither i've had people like like all the crazy shit you

know like the the your housemate is a heroin addict steal your bike and he's nodding off and you're like dude where's my bike and he's like i sold it i had the people like the friend i lent four thousand dollars to never paid me back friend i lent three thousand dollars to never pay just all that shit i never never ever ever would end a friendship on that now i'm like i'm like the my friend who was addicted to heroin who lived with me like at the first time my bike got stolen out or he sold my bike out of the house the next time like i just started locking my bike in my room bedroom. Right. Yeah. Or like, or like the time you come home and like your friends are in your room smoking your bag of weed and it's all gone. You come home from third period college. You're like, dude,

they're like, sorry. As they take the last hit, I just hide my weed somewhere different. I don't put that. If I'm four years into a relationship with with you eddie and we've been going surfing every day and then i find out you took 20 out of my console i mean it's on you i'll confront you i'll be like eddie dude don't take money out of my fucking that 20 bucks out of my console and like we'll talk it out but i will not fucking end a friendship like. I just it's on the other person. They're the one who did the bad thing. Why do I have to react to it? Well, I think I think in the situation with Jim is I had ended our friendship over him being, in my opinion, a bad person.

Right, right. And I agree. There's like unhealthy people you have to get distance from. I think he embellished this story and made himself look like the victim uh to excuse his behavior of why we no longer had a friendship rather than take responsibility and say you know i was a piece of shit daddy that's why we're not friends right and i saw him do that in our relationship all which was like this is why i can't be friends with you you're constantly playing the victim and it's like oh poor jim poor jim poor jim instead of owning up to it and going why aren't

we friends because i was a shitty person you you know? And, and I didn't stand by my friend. I wasn't a loyal friend and I did some shitty stuff to him and to his wife too. So, uh, that's, that's why he made up that story. And it was just, it was like a shock to me, which had happened earlier on in our relationship, which was like the, the start of everything where we had this, like one night he just got drunk and obnoxious and did some stuff to my wife. And the next day he's like, was I like, yeah, you're an apology. He's like, OK. So then he apologized to her and we were all supposed to go on vacation.

And he's like, so when are we leaving? I'm like, well, we're not. He's like, what do you mean? We're not going. We're like, no, we're not. He's like, what do you mean? We're not going. We're like, no, you're not going. I'm like, you know, we're all going and you're not coming anymore space cut to we all go on vacation and i'm getting texts from him fuck you fuck you and your girlfriend you're fucking piece of shit blah blah and i'm like yes yes he's saying you ruined yeah you ruined my weekend now there it is again of course i can't be friends with you if you ask a girl out and she says no and your response is you dumb cunt the girl made the right

decision yeah yeah if that's how you react when someone puts you under a little bit of stress then they made the right decision if a girl says no to you or a friend gets upset with you and you want to rekindle the relationship don't throw a temper tantrum because they didn't believe your insincere apology give it a week buy them some flowers clean their dishes like make it try to make a further step for amends if you if you want the relationship but if you want your character, the true character to show, do that dumb shit. Start throwing a temper tantrum. Dude, these are three-year-olds. These are three-year-olds.

If someone honks at me and I wave at them, I say, sorry, I don't flip you off. I'm fucking 49 now. Like I have emotional – I can see my emotions. Even if I want to flip you off, I don't. So what happened was he went on that podcast, which has like, yeah, which I'm really surprised too. Is it really that good of a podcast? Yeah.

Bert's Bert's a great guy and Bert has a very big audience and Bert didn't mean to start that. So that was sad. And I was like, oh my God. And he had done it on Dr. Mutually friends with Dr. Drew. And and he so he'd done it twice i was like all right so i started texting with him going do you know what you just you just went on this podcast and accused me of being a thief and so i kind of went back and i'm about all the things i knew about him like going i could say this i could say this i could say that and i

talked to a couple comedians that i respect and i said you know what should i do and one of them's like you need to go to war the public will love this blah blah blah defend yourself and one person was like you need to sue him for slander that's slander you know and he's gonna hurt your your business he's you know it's obvious he's lying it's so obvious he's lying so it's funny um a buddy of mine uh who i work with who's uh tommy chong's son uh and i've worked with him he's produced tommy shows and stuff he heard it and called me and was like jesus christ blah blah blah so i was you know i was really upset that day like i remember storming around on my deck all day long just like i can't believe this just happened and i was about to like go to war with

them and i was like this is going to get ugly it's going to get into like the news it's going to you know like the comedy news and that's what the time and tommy chong and oh that's cool. And I've worked with Tommy on a number of shows. And he's a great person. And Tommy went, hey, man, bigger man. You got to just wish him well and let him move on with his life. And, you know, and you just got to just be the bigger man. I agree. I sat there and thought about it.

I thought about my mom and dad and everything they instilled in me. And I was like, granted, this could maybe help being something people would pay attention to. Blah, blah, blah. And he kind of likes this shit. But I'm like, it's not who I am. This is not me. And I'm going to be the bigger man. And I'm just going to let it go.

He and I both. And I the bigger man and I'm just going to let it go. He and I both and I know the truth down deep. I'm just going to let this go and it sucks. Everyone put something on the internet comment below and be like, you fucking thief, why don't you pay Jim Jeffries? I'm like, oh my God, it never ends.

Weird. That's fucking hilarious. Count countless texts back and forth you know like we put it this way we made i i basically said to him this needs to stop because you know that i know like the truth and it's so obvious the guy has no idea what he's talking about like i've only spoken to you a couple times i've never spoken to him and i just came across that video and watched it and the dude's just a complete d-bag i mean a complete d-bag everything out of his mouth is is and and and i know bert's your friend but bert bert just went along with it too like bert should have fucking kicked him in his teeth, like stopped him. Like if I was saying something stupid, like when I said something earlier about talent or something, I can't remember.

You're like, well, I'll push back there. And we talked and like Bert should have pushed back a little bit. I mean, that guy's just saying stupid shit. Unless that's his whole shtick with the show, like just to give people enough rope to hang themselves. But man, I was, i felt dirtier for watching that video with him and burt like i was like damn why did i watch that i was really hurt by that like i just it's like someone calling you a rapist you know when you didn't ever do anything like that god forbid and god forbid i don't want to be called a rapist a racist or a pedophile yeah. Yeah. And by the way, that's the liberal play card, by the way, right there.

If you want to know how liberals operate, that's exactly how they operate. They just threaten. And I used to be one. So I know. I heard the guy on Joe Rogan say something that makes so much sense, though. I forget who this guy was. He's a writer, British guy. And and I've used it now, and it works really well. Just call someone a racist anytime they offend you and they freak out. You racist. When someone accuses you of something you are not.

Yes. Accuse them of something they are not. Right. So if somebody goes, you're a racist. That's not taking Tommy Chong's advice. You go, you're a pedophile. Yes, yes. They're like, no,, you're a pedophile. Yes, yes. They're like, no, I'm not a pedophile.

And you go, well, I'm not a racist. And they go, no, you're a racist. And go, your behavior is you act like a pedophile. If you start hammering them the way they are hammering you and bullying you using whatever social media means. Yes, yes. You're using yours back to them. All of a sudden they go, wow,

this is rude. And I need to stop bullying people. Right. To do when they're clearly not a racist. Because I knew it would hurt them. And I knew that I had power in doing it. Wow. They have power too.

I can be, Hey, someone did that to me. Excuse me, let me finish. Please, yes. Kyle Dunnigan. Go to Kyle Dunnigan's Instagram. He and Kurt Metzger

crucified for... He worked on the Amy Schumer show and he said that lynch mobs should not be able to call out comics and get them fired for go through due process because bill if I someone who who is innocent I think rape and sexual assault and all these things are wrong or Or you should go through due process. And then he became a rape apologist and all this stuff. And they went after him.

But anyway, Kurt, he, he Schumer show and blah, blah, blah. Kurt does a show with Kyle on, on Kyle's Instagram called pussies.

And it's a show about women. And it's these two beta males who talk like they review movies and they'll talk about like The Empire Strikes Back and how oh look here come the as they are the Ku Klux Klan

and he's like yeah I love it and there is Luke getting his hand cut off which is also it'll meant excuse me but it's so fucking funny it is so funny but kurt said you have covid do you have covid hopefully okay kurt said way he heard this from another comic, the only way you stop this bullshit

is by throwing it back in their face. And the more you make fun of it, the more they realize how stupid they sound. Well, also, they all cannibalize each other. That's the one good thing about that. They'll eat each other. They have no loyalty to each other they'll just eat each other one minute it's not it's not um uh what do they what do they call that uh uh signaling what's

the virtue signaling it's not really virtue signaling or or being virtuous it's opportunism right i've seen in my world, which is comedy where cancel culture has been incredible. It's raging. It's rampant. There are people that do it as a sport in my business where they will just seek out people and try to have them canceled because they feel like they deserve it. It's all opportunism. It's all, how can this give me a platform and how can I bring someone else down so that I can move up the ladder instead of, you know, like something wrong.

Someone's complaining that your volume's too low. Hey, you know what I did? I turned my volume down. What do you think about that, guys? That's the common... Oh. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That was better. How'd you do that? I'm not... Wow. Okay.

Shit. What kind of board do you have there? I'm using the... Oh, that's nice. Yeah. And then that's just the camera on your computer? Yeah, but I'm... I'm doing a whole new setup.

Oh, cool. I can't wait to see it yeah you can take a picture of it and put it on your instagram i don't i'm not like i i always want the best but i hate it like i i'd rather walk in a room and sit down and start talking but i i micromanage and i'm like i gotta get this shit because it's good but i I then look like I don't, I don't like possessions. I don't like technical shit. I don't like camera equipment. And I like all that stuff. I'm such a geek.

I like having good stuff. Like I like it to work well and look professional and and when it doesn't which i have bad and so i'm like spending a lot of money and make it um just because i think you know the kind of how you do anything's how you do everything and if your podcast looks like shit it probably is shit oh uh-oh well i'm working on improving i started with the i set the bar really low so that i can improve every day well it's a learning. I mean, there's a learning curve to it. There is so much to learn.

Is this kind of figured all out on your own? Yes. And no one wants to share. No. I have to go to the skate park. So do I. Are you really? Yeah.

With your kids? Yeah, I take the kids. I go probably like three days a week now. Oh, wow. That's a trip. We're both going to the skate park. Yeah. With your kids? Yeah, I take the kids. I go probably like three days a week now. Oh, wow. That's a trip. We're both going to the skate park. Yeah. Yeah, the little one, the two-year-old's loving it.

Oh, that's awesome. Okay, well, I'm going to go and... How good are your kids coming? Oh, boy. You want to know something crazy? So I'll just tell a story real quick. So one of my kids has been skateboarding every day now for over a year hasn't hasn't missed a day and i bought a ten thousand dollar skate ramp and put it in the front yard and he just gets his ass up on it and um so he

has had a skateboard instructor one day a week for like the last six months and the guy's awesome i love him but the other day i went over the hill which is basically you know where into silicon valley it's like north of my house by 20 miles. There's more money than God there. I know people think they live in these really rich areas. Yeah. But, like, this place is nuts. So, basically, I go to this skate park in Sunnyvale, California.

I was supposed to be performing in Sunnyvale in three weeks at Rooster Tee Feathers. But what is in my throat? Come. Cock and balls. So basically there was a skate pro there, a professional skater. And it took me like four months and I got a class with him for my kid. And in that fucking one hour, kid just like it was nuts and he basically said yeah and i go hey but i love my other skate coach because yeah there's just a

difference i'm a fucking professional skater and like he just tweaked he just he just worked with my kid for like it probably an hour it was i think it was 80 or 100 bucks and the guy's name is josh it's got a big youtube channel. I forget his name. But anyway, it was nuts. You get what you pay for. And so like my kid just – and so like right now we're going to go back to his old skateboarding coach today who charges half as much, charges $50 an hour. And I'm curious if he's going to see the difference in the one hour my kid did with this pro skater. And it's not a dig.

There's just this other guy's a professional musician who teaches skateboarding lessons on the side and this other guy's a pro skater how old is your son six and what um what kind of stuff now um he doesn't really do any tricks he just he's really proficient at skating right going so ramp like up and down the ramp drop in um he just started doing tail stalls he does 50 50s oh cool um he just did his first like vertical drop in he can do a lot of big drop-ins but this one you know the vertical ones where the top like it's like a 10 or 12 foot drop-in and there's like two feet of just vert at the top oh so dropping off the verdict wasn't a roll-on yeah he finally yeah he finally dropped in into one that was a vert um let me ask you were you a skater at all no no no no i can't skateboard at all at zero where did this come from that led them to skate so i i'm just the classic like i

like i i want comedians and fighters on my show because like I've always – I wish I was funny and I wish I could fight. My kids play tennis and they're really good at tennis and not because I wanted to play tennis because it was the only thing – it was one of the only activities in the area where they didn't require masks. My kids will never wear a mask. Never, ever, ever, ever. And skateboarding, they didn't – skateboarding, we just – i wanted them to skate and we had a skateboard in the entryway and he would never skate and then at five and a half he goes i'm gonna never been on a skateboard before he goes i'm gonna skate every day for a year wow and i told him i said i'll give by you ice cream every hundred days if you consecutive days you skate and on the 365th day i'll let you

throw an ice cream party which is just crazy because i don't do that shit for my kids yeah and he did it and he made it a year the first hundred days were so slow dude eddie they were so slow eddie and uh and now he's just a shredder like he's got that's awesome yeah and same with jiu-jitsu like they do jiu-jitsu because I'd be terrified to roll around on a mat with a guy who's trying to choke me out. So my kids have to do it. They have to face my fears. I know you've got to go, but let me ask you this.

Josh Bridges, is he going to win his boxing match? He's going to fuck Jacob Heppner up. I think so, too. I was watching both of them. And I'm having Tony Jeffries on my up. I think so too. I was watching both of them and I'm having, uh, Tony Jeffries on my show. Uh,

I think. And, uh, Tony Jeffries, who's Tony Jeffries. Boxing burn. He is a silver medalist in boxing in the Olympics. Uh,

I'm going to try to schedule him for my podcast on Tuesday, British guy. And I'm going to have them on and I want to talk to him about them. That's served and just my humble opinion. I've seen that well. Uh, better. Josh looks better at all. So I would bet my money on Josh. Jacob's bigger and maybe more athletic. Hunter McIntyre is very butthurt and I don't want to start. He wanted to fight so badly in that. Talk to him about it.

And he said that some of the guys. Fighting like because he's, you know, such a trouble. And it's probably such a good athlete. Oh, he should do it. Have you ever interviewed him? I should interview him. I have Hunter on like he's on almost every week on my show. And he lives near me and we,

um, get into too much trouble together. Will you, um, will you say something nice about me to him? Sure, he'll do your podcast. I'll call him right after this. He'll say he'll do it. You know who you should have on is Devin Lorette. I want...

Oh, yeah. Yeah, I want Glassman too. Soon. I think soon as soon, very soon. January 1, the floodgates are going to open is devin the guy that that bear crawled across devin's the guy fighting thor oh oh that guy yeah strong man yes you should dm him he's a professional arm wrestler he was jtf2 he's basically one of the he's basically canada's most elite fighting he was on can Canada's most elite fighting force, basically Canada's SEAL Team 6, and he's a legend in that community also. And he's also a professional arm wrestler, and he's a great guy with an amazing sense of humor.

You would love him. Is he fighting Eddie Hall? He's fighting Thor, the mountain. He's replacing Eddie Hall. Oh, Eddie Hall's not fighting? No. You're like me. Yeah, I like it how you don't even know about any of that stuff up there I didn't even know who Eddie Hall was people like I cannot believe you don't know who Eddie Hall is I knew Eddie Hall because

he did Grace or Isabel or some like broke the record so easily without which I I love CrossFit but I love to see like something yes Yes. Me too. I love that. Where CrossFitters think they're amazing at something. And that's why I loved Hunter and I love the Glassman invited Castro, who I like now did not like it. And I didn't like it. That Greg did that either. I thought it was hysterical and I pushed it so hard because I still contend that Hunter is one of the fittest

people in the world and i can argue that till the cows come home but um he is he is definitely he's a freak of nature and i don't want to do because you got to go to you but like my argument is that like glassman's definition of fitness is Glassman's definition of fitness, but that is Glassman's definition of fitness. When there is so much skill to it, like I always like CrossFit events where they give them weird. Or like the wheelbarrow and the sandbags thing that they could have trained for, but not trained to do. Do you know what I'm saying? Like the unknowing stuff i love me too answer if you had a whole bunch of those events i think hunter could be not maybe not win

but up there in the top um the fact that he can't handstand walk is might not have that skill but if you throw it right never done right win how how much does he weigh he's up he's going to try to break the world record in the uh in the Clydesdale marathon so he's got to break 230 in the marathon he just did the other day did a 500 pound deadlift in a five minute like people have been doing that and he just did it like that uh wow didn't even think about it he's like yeah i'll do it the impressive one though is the also is i think adam clink did the back squat the back squats passive and i said to hunter why don't you do that he goes because i can't squat 500 and i was like well you got

something to work at yeah that shit's crazy hey if he could make uh can he drop down to 180 can that dude weigh 180 175 he probably was that crossfit my wife hanging on the door he he he should cut down to 175 and fight josh if he if josh wins this fight i'm sure he'll be on the next card in March. I don't think Josh – he said Josh doesn't want to fight him or buzz. Oh, shit. I don't think Josh – That cannot be true. I don't think – do not say that about my friend Josh. No, I love Josh.

I don't think Josh likes him because he tried to contact Josh through – he broke the Murph world record. Hunter did? Yeah. contact josh through i he you know he broke the murph world record um hunter did yeah and he made a big deal about it and josh was like hey this is not about that this is about memorializing you know a man and servicemen that which i understand and i even said to hunter i said if you're going to do this you do this for charity and you do it and he's like i will i will i will i was like you know it's it's we all you know the whole idea of the community of people do this to remember the guys that you know risk their lives for us and have died in service for us and you're out there you know just trying to bust the record and i think josh had the record before uh hunter but so you're kind of by two seconds or something but um you know hunter he puts his mind to something he can do it so i don't know ask josh if he'll fight him i mean and it's not fair hunter

has he's six two the reach i wouldn't fight him if i was josh it's not a fair fight reach i can't wait to have i can't wait to have hunter on my show The Reach, I wouldn't fight him if I was Josh. It's not a fair fight. I can't wait to have Hunter on my show. Endstream. Endstream. Yeah, and I talk too much. Dude. I can't believe you came on my show.

I love you. There's a few people I like talking to. You're one of them. Oh, thank you. That was great. I'm going'm gonna run I have to drop a deuce and we're not live anymore sorry I'm not I know that's my first

cancellation do you want to do another show sometime you demand thanks brother thank you later bye