The Sevan Podcast - #152 - Tyler Fischer

Episode Date: September 25, 2021

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external headphone default microphone road can you guys hear me can anyone hear me can any of the six viewers hear me can someone type in

and be like yeah I hear you because without a guest I can't tell if you can hear me people say the craziest thing in the comments type in and be like, yeah, I hear you. Because without a guest, I can't tell if you can hear me. People say the craziest thing in the comments. I can't believe you don't have the audio figured out by now. It's not like that. It's not like that.

I wish it was that easy. I wish it was just that easy. Default external headphones. Yes, Katie Ritz, thank you. This morning we have Tyler Fisher as a guest. Katie, you actually started the show with that, yep. We have Tyler Fisher as a guest. I don't know if you guys have seen him. Does my voice sound funny?

It's 7 a.m. in California. I've been up since 6. I've only said a couple sentences before the show started. I saw my son walking through the house. He got up, took a pee. I gave him a hug and told him I loved him. He asked me if I'd go back to sleep with him. I said, no, I got to do a podcast.

But Tyler Fisher is supposed to be here. He is a comedian. I mean, he's a guy who lives on Earth. He makes a lot of jokes about being 5'3", 115 pounds. And I don't know how I came across them. I guess the algorithm in Instagram thought it was cool to show them to me. It's weird how the algorithm in Instagram works. On one hand, they banned me for just saying stuff about this situation that the planet's in right now,

that the idiots who are on board, who live on this planet have put us in and i mean idiots but but yet they ban me and yet they bring me people like tyler on a daily basis it's so weird how the algorithm works they just want to show me buff dudes um women who have had like plastic stuffed into their – underneath their skin with these giant – like their skin has been stretched out. They call them fake boobs and wearing tiny little bathing suits. They want to show me those buff dudes and then people just talking the truth about the current situation. But you would think they would just ban all those people. I want to read you something. I wanted to go on Instagram live this morning,

and I've been banned from that. They won't let me. And it's so interesting because you can go to and read the community guidelines. And these are the community guidelines on Instagram. Listen to this. It's fucking remarkable. We want Instagram to continue to be an authentic and safe place for inspiration and expression.

I mean, that is just a lie. That's a lie. You would get banned if you went to the CDC website and read the data about deaths from viruses and from injections, if you just read just the data, you will get shadow banned. You will have that pulled down. There's nothing authentic. There's nothing authentic or safe about this platform. There's nothing. I've had 50 posts reported when my boys are working out as child pornography, and yet we all know that there's crazy pornographic-esque shit on Instagram. It's fucking nuts. It's absolutely fucking nuts.

Okay, so then the next sentence is, help us foster this community. Just shut the fuck up. And by the way, if you want to see something really crazy, you want to see something really depressing, go visit, follow the guy who's the CEO of Instagram. He'll have your heart broken. I mean broken. And yeah, Wadzombie, you should be pissed that you've never heard of this guy. This guy is good.

Been on his Instagram all morning. I know. Tyler's amazing. He is funny. I think when I requested him to come on to the show, he had 16,000 followers. And I looked last night and he has 48,000. Someone's reposting his shit and he's blowing up. Oh, it looks like he's trying to get on the show right now, but I don't think he can. He's probably not on the Chrome browser.

Is he on Chrome? He's probably not on the Chrome browser. Is he on Chrome? He's trying. That's what sucks. Occasionally there are these guests who won't give you their phone number. That's the first thing I'm going to do. I'm going to ask Tyler, why wouldn't you give me your phone number? And so I can't unfuck them when they're having trouble getting on in real time because we're stuck emailing back and forth. But I'm glad he's trying and then and then the final sentence is um post only your own photos and videos and always follow the law

respect everyone on instagram don't spam people or post nudity. I mean, these guys are, are, are, he's downloading Chrome now. We use this software for those of you who give a shit. It's called Riverside FM. I don't know if it's good. I don't, I don't know if it's good, but basically what it does is, um, we record the show live on Riverside and then 36 later Riverside has some sort of interface with YouTube and it streams it to YouTube. And so most of our guests and most of the people don't know, don't know anything about Riverside. And so that's why there's sometimes a hiccup,

but I hear, I, I hear and see, Hey, we've made contact. We've made contact. Tyler, what's up,

buddy? Hey, how's it going? Good morning. Good morning. Good've made contact. Tyler, what's up, buddy? Hey, how's it going? Good morning. Good morning. Good to see you. Oh, and now it's working on my computer too. Oh, well. Are you on your phone?

I'm on my phone and my computer. Hey, shut one of them. Whatever you want to do. Yeah, yeah. Probably you should shut one of them, but whatever's most convenient for you. The show can only get better. I've started off by reading the community guidelines at Instagram, so the show's got a really slow start this morning. Well, that'll take you hours to do that. Right? Aren't they like – Yes.

It's like a Shakespeare play. As long as we're authentic, that's all they care about and honest. They only care about authenticity and honesty. Oh, my God. Tyler, did you get the list of words from my producer that you're not allowed to use this morning? I just want to make sure that we're very clear on what those words are. Well, first of all, you didn't even ask my pronouns. I apologize.

I don't know why we're going to skip over that. I apologize. No, I did not get the list. We're new to this. We're just trying to fit in. I apologize. No, I did not get the list. We're new to this. We're just trying to fit in. I actually asked you don't use the word list. I got that. I apologize. I actually had a note in here. Don't use that word. Don't look at them either. Do you use DuckDuckGo? I do sometimes. I think like I'm just so used to Google google that uh i so i think yeah i think on my

laptop i do i just got a new computer so maybe i'll set it up do you is that what you use kind of wait so you uh i i heard your question i'll circle back to it you got a new computer do you know what that's a sign of uh self-care i guess i've been using an old shitty 13 inch macbook pro for like 10 years and uh my podcast would take 24 hours to uh to export that is success when i hear that you got a new computer i just hear success yeah yeah it was a leap you know i got it i got it a few months ago i didn't have the money for it well i guess I did have the money for it. I had just enough. I gave you a little bit of an introduction. The show starts live at 7 a.m. That's not a dig at you, by the way. It doesn't matter. Some guests don't even show up. little bit of background on you. I don't even know what my show's about or what I'm doing,

but basically, I just need to become the greatest podcaster that ever lived. And I'm interested in comedy and I'm interested in fighting. And I was a former executive over at CrossFit Inc., a damn good one. I had a media team of 100 people working for me. I kicked ass. And then now I'm just doing podcasts super early in the morning so the rest of the day i can spend the day with my three little boys and party with them you know go to the skate park do jiu-jitsu go swimming in the ocean i know i was i saw some of those uh you're skating uh at uh what what kind of park is that it's like all cement but he's good do you skate i do and i hope i can find this picture if i can't i blew it but you're kind of built like it yeah you're built like you could be an amazing skater. Yeah, I have a picture with Tony Hawk when I was about your son's age, actually.

Oh, shit. So if I happen to have it, I'll grab it. If not, yeah. Tyler, how old are you? I'm 34. I found CrossFit when I was 34. Oh, God. That's amazing.

Do you work out? I don't work out. I used to. I need to be available for public humiliation, so I have to be in a class where I have so much pressure on me. I do it alone. It's just like. You have a nice body.

You should work out. I really need to around this age it will start it won't like it'll start going downhill yeah yeah sorry just threw my shoulder out getting my coffee and if you did i i guarantee and you live in new york city yeah i'm in brooklyn if you did crossfit it would give you so much material yeah well i should at least go see i so i was obsessed with working out when i was a kid i'm really small i'm like five foot three and skinny and all my friends just kept growing you know we were around 11 12 i'm like where are you going and i just stayed so i was obsessed with working out. I really fucked up my body big time. Really? Yeah.

I was bench pressing like 150. I weighed like 90 pounds. I have to find it. I just need to get a trainer or someone who can work with me because I did a lot of damage on my back and my shoulders. And I probably tore a bunch of stuff. Does it hurt when you wake up in the morning? Does your body hurt?

Something hurts. I don't know what. There's an overall hurt. But I have a cup of coffee and a smoothie and it goes away. I have a cup of coffee and a smoothie and it goes away. Yeah, I'll throw it out like every six months. I'll kink. Something will happen and then I can't walk for a few days.

Wow, we're like the same person. Like literally like taking a shit and you'll wipe your butt and then like it'll just go out. And you'll be like, what the fuck? I didn't even do anything like that yeah well well once once i was uh on tour i was doing a big tour for samsung and i i was jumping on the bed to celebrate you know i was in this beautiful bed and and and that's when that was the first time it happened uh and i fell to the floor and couldn't couldn't walk for a few days and then yeah every six months six to eight months it'll happen for a day or two where i i just can't move or can't move my neck yeah you gotta get you gotta you gotta tell you you gotta go to a crossfit gym

and tell your trainer hey i'm very very like sensitive okay to injury and they'll get you they'll get you going because yeah man you look like you're a healthy in shape dude and uh you don't want to let that erode no it's it's it's really heredity it's uh it's genetics because my brother um my brother's two years older we were on the same diet we would split every meal we were actually a great experiment with weight gain, and he became obese, and I cannot gain a pound. So I appear healthy, but I'm not. Oh, do you eat a lot of sugar? I eat a fair amount, but I don't drink alcohol.

I don't smoke. So I allow myself a little room in the sugar area, but not a ton, I don't think. I try to do fruit and dried mango and stuff. Yeah, you have no stoner in you. No, I can't handle. I mean, I'm a lot closer to a Woody Allen personality than people might imagine. So highly neurotic i get i get paranoid when i smoke yeah me too i used to i used to i used to smoke and drink and

all that now i can't even handle half a beer i get tired and depressed so i mean it's great it's it's great because i just don't take part in that ever. And people try to buy me drinks after shows all the time. And I just get a seltzer or something. Yeah. I don't drink or smoke anymore either, but I didn't quit at 34. I quit probably like, I mean,

I haven't smoked weed and I don't know, 20 years, but right around when this, the first like three months of this, I don't know what the fuck you want to call it some people call it a covid pandemic but i i know it's not that i at bare minimum it's the response to the covid pandemic that we're dealing with yeah because but um i yeah i drank for the first three months like from 8 a.m to midnight and that was fun i enjoyed it and then i just quit i was like you know what

i'm just oh wow yeah 80 into three But were you doing that a lot before that? No, but it was just kind of like everything came to a stop. I was hanging out at home a lot. I was just hanging out with my kids nonstop. Um, and so I would just wake up in the morning and crack like a kombucha and dilute it with some sparkling water and just start drinking. That would be like my breakfast. Wow. And just sounds like keep a nice buzz going all day yeah it sounds like you had like a temporary binge going or something yeah just just having fun not but that's what happened that's what happens though when when uh they shut life down i mean thank god i i beat all that those habits you know and i'm and I'm in, I'm in a couple of 12 step programs

for different things. So I, I like, I'm like, seriously, are you? Yeah. Yeah. I'm like, what would have happened if I didn't get my life under control? Um, when the pandemic hit, like, I just feel so, uh, so bad for people who had, didn't really have a secure life before this hit and not to say my life was secure at all i went off the deep end mentally just because it was like there's nothing to do and i stopped doing stand-up and everything but it's just so so sad to think of those effects that no one few people talk about you know i quit drinking about two weeks before i lost my job of 15 years and holy shit that was good oh and you didn't have a relapse no no no no i'm i'm i'm um i'm a steel trap i have no i'm i'm like a robot I'm like autistic

but not autistic you're a sociopath maybe but you have the good qualities do you know Mark Norman comedian Mark Norman no tell me

he's a great comedian he's really blown up he says he's autistic but he has all the bad parts you know he just has the parts where he makes people uncomfortable but he can't count the toothpicks on the ground or any of that stuff he'll be my next guest on my podcast oh check him out yeah how many followers does he have how many oh probably upwards of half a million i mean he fuck i'll never get him no you he does no you might you might

um i was concerned a few weeks ago if i saw correctly i went and looked at your instagram and you had like 16 000 followers and then i think i looked yesterday and you're approaching 50 000 followers did i see that correctly i think so yeah and what could be russian disinformation it could be just it could be. And I was concerned. I was like, oh, shit, he's got too many followers. He's going to flake. And you didn't share your phone number. Is that part of your neurotic philosophy?

No, no. My phone number is on my way. Fans call me and stuff. Oh. Yeah, my phone number and my direct email is – I don't have an agent right now. So I was like, yeah. My phone number and my and my direct email is I don't have an agent right now. So I was like, whatever. I'll just put my my contact up there. So, yeah, no, that that was I just think maybe I forgot to at. So because that's usually how we organize the show.

But occasionally we'll get like a big UFC fighter and for you a big big time comic and they will refuse to give their phone number. So I thought you were I thought you were big time enough you know i find that so uh did you ask for it i don't know the producer does all that because i'm big time like i don't actually i don't actually let you talk to me until you give me your phone number so i was trying to big time you and then you big time me yeah no i don't think they asked for they asked for it but i also like i don't read directions well i'm like i maybe maybe partially a friend of mine who's dyslexic just told me that she's certain I'm dyslexic. I always thought maybe I was, but like I grew up in a different time. They didn't give a shit about autism or dyslexia.

So I can't really read well. And she was watching me read. She goes, you're dyslexic. And I do skip over words and sentences. So it is a nightmare sometimes when someone will email me and I'll have skipped through a lot of the details. Do you drink a lot of coffee? Not a ton. I have one in the morning and maybe one in the afternoon. Do you drink a lot of coffee? Not a ton.

I have one in the morning and maybe one in the afternoon. Because I do that. If I'm reading and I've only had half a cup of coffee, I read every word. But by my third cup, I'm just skipping paragraphs and shit. True, true. I'm not even joking. Just reading the titles of the books, throwing them. So tell me – I'm going to dig into you a little bit to see if I still have a chance to be a comic.

When I was a little boy, I used to watch a ton of Abbott and Costello, a ton. And then when I was – I won tickets to go see Rodney Dangerfield. I called into an AM station, K an am station kfrc 6 10 a.m in san francisco i grew up in the bay area and i'm still in california just outside of the bay area in santa cruz and i won tickets to go see rodney dangerfield that's probably like 11 and my mom took me and i became obsessed i had the world's i had like the world's dirtiest um joke books it was like a volume of 10 and my dad and i would just drive everywhere and i would just read them to him. I tons of everything Rodney Dangerfield did all Abbott and Costello all, you know, Eddie Murphy, Richard Pryor, all those guys from when I was little. But none of the more nuanced guys that probably, you know, and you probably don't even think they're nuanced because you're so steeped in it. I wasn't a big Saturday Night Live. Is that what Saturday Night Live. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't do any of that

stuff. But it was the only thing I ever wanted to be when I grew up. And then about a couple years ago, I'm 49 now, and I never ever wanted to be anything else. And then about at 40, at 43, I had kids and I just became a dad. So there was like a gap in there of 40 years where I didn't know what I wanted to do or be. And I was kind of, and I still don't really know what I want to do or be, but I am a dad that just like, I did embody that identity. You know what I am? I'm like, yeah. And I enjoy it and I'm playing that role. So I just kind of want to start with, um, first do you see, are you a comedian? Like, do i identify with that no i mean i've been ruined i think um yeah i don't i guess i don't like the well the identity thing i guess uh the what i find

problematic when i say i'm a comedian then everyone puts whatever i say through comedian filter, but it's their, their definition of a comedian. So you have, you know, well multiply how many followers you have or family members or friends, everything goes through that. So that, so that's when I started to pull back and think, I don't, you know, I just don't think it's a good idea because I also like, you know i just don't think it's a good idea because i i also like i i'm more dark than i am comedic and then also those have over so i also act and write and direct and make films and stuff so i don't i don't at this point i don't think it's useful to you to say comedian but that's part of what i am for sure do you do you know what you are like like are you like do you identify with anything like are you just like i think it's just a creator you know an artist an artist a creator i mean

you know most of my most of the my time spent is me at my computer writing you know so it's not there's nothing funny about if you watch my life you would just want to slit your throat because i take my dog to the park i you know rehearse stuff in my head i come back i write i i edit you know i just edited um the sketch i don't know if you saw with the uh vaccine passport one amazing dudes by the way so good thanks man and crazy bold that you you showed us your whole Thanks, man. getting pussy yeah no it's like you know i discovered um i discovered jordan peterson a few years back and your your impersonation of him is awesome yeah it's so good well it's like you know it's like a little kermit the frog a little and and and it was like i i didn't have a whole lot of discipline growing up or any actually i had none i dropped out of college no

you know my parents got divorced and then we played them how how old were you i was seven okay oh that's that's kind of old okay so starting at seven i didn't that hit you oh yeah yeah yeah and um so really until i was 30 i I didn't have, I had no structure. I had no, I mean, I was just a mess in every way. So discovering him was really like the reason anything's, partially the reason anything's happened is implementing what I learned from him, which is like, you know, create a schedule, have a, but make it fun. So that's what I'm doing. It's like, i'm pretty low functioning person actually you know i usually don't get up until 11 or 12 i don't sleep well

you know so i i'm like if i'm gonna do it just schedule it out and focus even if it's an hour a day i only write for 30 minutes a day but i do it every day then is and is the neurotic part useful in that sense because as long as you write it down and schedule it like i'm like that too if i make a list like i'm beholden to it like if i'm doing items one through five and then all of a sudden i have to pee i can't pee until i've done items one through five because it's item six now. Like, is it like that for you? Like, do you become like just obsessed?

Oh, shit. I have to. It's not that bad because I really was coming from zero discipline or zero, you know, accountability. So it's not quite that bad. I mean, I really have to. I had to get something notarized and I had to work with my therapist for like three weeks to get it done i mean that's how many hurdles i have just you know in many ways with with um anything that feels like work or yeah you know or authority or any of that stuff i've so you know so i i had to sit down and like cut it into like 20 little steps and and it took yeah probably three weeks you need a wife yeah that's that's that's uh on my list for

sure if you get a wife they start like doing cool shit like they socialize you and they structure your life or like if your car needs to be registered like and it's been sitting on your desk for like two months they'll just walk by and do that shit yeah so like you want to see oh yeah yeah that's my mind oh shit oh shit that's my mind and that's not i don't use that desk so like i have three desks i have i have the one i filmed my podcast at there and then i have my my this is where i sit most of the day. And then this is, this is the, this is like my mind that I can't like, and I'll clean that off. That'll be clean. And then a week later, it looks like that. So, um, I, I've hired professional organizers to come over and force me to throw stuff out.

I couldn't do a therapist because – by the way, the fact that you got something notarized and you have a new computer makes me think that you really are on the trajectory of success. Those are like correlates to success for me. Don't you feel like you're wasting money paying a therapist? Those like correlates to success for me. Don't you feel like you're wasting money paying a therapist? Oh, I'm on Medicaid. I don't pay for it. Oh, well, congratulations. So you're using the resources that come to you. But also, no, I wouldn't.

You know, for instance, the thing I was notarizing was a refund. was a refund. I threatened a lawsuit to an orthodontist who gave me braces on the back of my teeth. And I developed a lisp. And I'm a voice actor as well. So I couldn't work. And all these things that he didn't tell me would happen. So I said, well, I want a full refund.

And so I got a few thousand dollars back now i needed the therapist to do that so if i was paying a therapist 100 a week uh you know so it would have taken 300 bucks to get back a few thousand dollars so i i for me it would be worth paying out of pocket right that shit would stress me out that shit would have really stressed me out oh man the thought like if it would have really have gone to court would you have gone i knew it wouldn't because it's not a lot of money for him to refund and um you know uh he he wanted me to come in and sign it there, but I didn't want to see, I, it's really hard for me to like ask for what I want. So I, I was embarrassed to go see him knowing that I had emailed threatening a lawsuit. So, so that's why

the notary had to come in. So I, I complicated it, but also like, I just knew I don't have it in me to go to the office. So we'll add the extra steps and, and, you know, so that's where the therapist comes in. Cause I'm able to have someone guide me through all that and go, Hey, you know, this, this guy, you're thinking he's your dad. And so like, let's maybe not, not go to the office and just pay the 15 bucks. And I love it. I treat it like, you know, I sit down, I have a therapy document, I'm at the computer. So I treat it like it's the business of my mind, you know? Why are you still in New York?

Do you like it there? Were you, were you born there in New York city? I was born in New Haven, Connecticuticut a town adjacent to new haven i used to date a girl up there yeah that did you to get into the pizza game no i didn't get into the pizza game i was making movies and she was from there there's a school there what's the big school there like yale or yale's there okay yeah and it's got it's like a nice town and a scary town it's yeah yeah it's got a hood oh my god town and a scary town it's got yeah yeah it's got a hood oh my god yeah it was uh one of the highest murder rates per capita in the country when i live there

we heard gunshots every night my yeah dad moved to new haven so we lived on the the edge of the yale campus but you couldn't really go outside of the yale campus right so so you so you born born and raised New Haven, and then when do you come to New York? Yeah, I mean, I grew up coming in, you know, quite often. We were only a 90-minute train ride. New York was always like, it was always this part of my life, but it was, you can't conceptualize as a kid coming in and seeing that city it was like the wizard of oz so it was like i'm never gonna live there i just it never crossed my mind i was even allowed to live there then i started acting went to college studied acting and then it was like oh shit

if i don't move to new york where where the hell am i gonna move? So that was it. And why did you get into acting? What did you like about it? I think, as I mentioned, I was like just this undisciplined, just maniac of a kid. I would get in fights. I was selling drugs. I was stealing. I was, you know, a slew of things. And then I was going to fail out of high school.

I was friends with the acting teacher. We would drink. I would go to his house and drink. And this is high school, high school, the good old days. All right. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Good old public school. Yeah. And so I signed up for his class because I knew he'd give me an A. He was my friend and i i could get him fired for you know i'm going to his house drinking every night smoking and and so uh that was it i took his acting class and we got on stage did some improv and people started laughing and

one day later he pulled me aside he goes you gotta you need to go for this so that was it it was like one guy just going you should do this and then changed my major in college to acting and then came to new york started auditioning doing short films got into stand-up and then stand-up really had a grasp on me that that was like yeah that was a that was that was the focus think. But it doesn't pay. It doesn't pay. Are you still friends with that teacher? No, I actually am trying to find his information.

So would you say he was a good influence in your life? Yeah. Yeah, I mean, well. Like, did he believe in you? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I mean, well, like, did he believe in you? Yeah, absolutely. I mean, you know, it's it's complicated because he should not have been drinking with a student. But I didn't care about that. And I still don't. So. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. I know it's interesting. That makes for a good movie character.

It's like the guy that like you everything about him you, you're not supposed to like, because he's like breaking the rules, but, but, but in all, all in all, one of the most powerful things you can do to a young man or a young woman is to believe in them. And we all have those people in our lives at some point or another who, who they, they just believed in us. Yeah. They're just like, wow, you're good at that. And for some reason it hits you like, like, you can't shake it holy shit yeah instead i'm good at that like oh god i must be good at that yeah yeah like he nailed you with that yeah and like stuck it on you what i learned from from jordan peterson is like it takes such little um support like humans need such a small amount uh but they need it even if it's a minusc it really just is one person you

know if you have one good friend or what you know your partner whatever it is so yeah he offered me just enough to uh to quite literally make it my life um and my parents were supportive as well but this this was different like having someone pull you in like that, you know, were your parents workaholics? Interesting. Uh, yes, yes. My dad, I would say, yes, he still is. He's a lawyer in West Haven. Um, and I, that's part of it.

I grew up working in his law firm occasionally, and I just didn't like how consumed he was by work. And when I got home, it how consumed he was by work and when I got home it was work work work so like I'm so adverse to you know like there's I haven't done my taxes in two years they're in there somewhere oh shit that's scared you're not no no because I also I also uh I think I didn't get I never got in trouble as a kid, or even if I got suspended, my parents wouldn't punish me. So I'm, I'm missing a lot of important characteristics. Like I don't have the discipline, but then I'm also not scared of getting in trouble. So, so that happens. I think you do have the discipline though. Now you, you cultivated it.

Yeah. Yeah, I do. I do. It's just, I need to, it just needs to be re. that happens i think you do have the discipline though now you you cultivated it yeah yeah i do i do it's just it i need to it just needs to be re because i've done my taxes people um uh your youtube account is so prolific by the way if someone wants to go somewhere and be thoroughly entertained you should go to the tyler fisher youtube channel and i would start with just watching um i think it's uh he did it in 2020 he did a stand-up uh routine and i and i'd love to get into how you produce that in a second but that is really good it's 40 minutes um last night my wife and i sat on the couch and watched it together oh my god wow i don't want to say it's as good as bony my wife but fuck it was fun we were we were laughing our

asses off and then i went and watched after that other renditions of how you were born. He does a two-minute section in this 40-minute stand-up. It's Tyler talking about how he was born, how his parents made him. And you should go through and watch all of those. What do I talk about? You talk about how your dad made you. Oh, right, right, right. I see. It is fucking crazy. It is so fucking funny. oh i did what do i talk about how you talk about how you're yeah how your dad oh oh right right right i see it is fucking crazy yeah it is so fucking funny my wife and i were fucking dying

thank you thank you yeah that that that was like yeah that was uh and you have different iterations of it and it's good all the iterations are good it never got old that was uh yeah that that was a year before the pandemic and then i just kind of sat on that footage um for a while you know and i didn't really know how to edit that well so i would try to and yeah why did you edit that i noticed there were some edits in it why even edit that oh well that was two different nights. Oh, it was? Okay. I didn't pick that up. Okay. Some of the jokes, like some jokes literally I'm cutting back and forth between the nights just because the delivery is better or a laugh covers my line.

So I kind of surgically went in and mixed two nights together. Wow. Well done. Okay. Thank you. I had no idea i had no idea i could just see cuts and i'm like hmm i wonder what he's doing i just figured i just pictured you did you rent well let's get into it did you rent a studio or rent a room and then just invite your friends how do you do that yeah i used to do so i used to host it at that place it was called the

secret is called the secret loft in union square it's called the Secret Loft in Union Square. It was like the perfect comedy venue. Fits like 100 people, black box. Stage is just up high enough, not too high. And so I thought I'll take two nights. And the purpose was to do an album because this is like a hidden secret. Comedians can sell their albums or pitch them to Sirius Radio, and then they pick tracks and they pay you every time they play the track.

It's a great way to make money as a living from that if you have a couple albums out. That was the goal, And I thought, well, I'm there already. I hired the film, but the budget of that entire thing you saw was $300. That's what it cost me. Total. Total. Yeah. Wait, what city was that in? That's in Manhattan. The Secret Loft. How do you rent a place for $300 in Manhattan? Well, I already did a show there so so i just talked to the guy and said can i just have can i do two shows in a row what a good guy yeah yeah and and um and so he recorded the sound i paid a guy 300 to film um

i actually made money off of it i think i made 500 from ticket sales and paid the guy 300. So, so I made 200 to make that. And you know, the time it took to edit and stuff, but you know, right, right,

right. You don't have to go crazy with, with a comedy special. And then, so from there you have the audio and you basically give that audio to Sirius XM and every time they play it, you make money. Yeah. So you don't have an agent.

You do all the legwork yourself. No, I don't have an agent. I edited, cut up the tracks and then you label the tracks. You say like dog joke, short joke, whatever. You send it to Sirius. All their comedy guys sit around they listen to these albums and then they pick the tracks they want they email you and say we picked this joke this joke this joke it'll play on the dirty station this one will play on the clean station this one

will play on four they picked five of my tracks to play on three different stations and uh some months i'll make a i'll just get a check for a thousand dollars wow uh but i used a so if you use a record label they get half so i'm really making two thousand a month they're getting a thousand so then what i found out is you can actually do this all on your own. You don't need a record label. If you can record it and send it in, you're making a hundred percent. And, uh, you know, you imagine you have two, three albums up there. You could be getting two, three, 4,000 bucks a month just from Sirius XM. from Sirius XM. It's fascinating the similarities we have. So at 34 years old, I was at a friend's house and I guess I wasn't smoking weed at the time. I was at a friend's house and he had this

thing called a vaporizer. Do you know what that is? Yeah. Okay. So for people who don't know, it's basically it heats up the weed and smoke comes off of it. And then when you're done smoking, like the pile of weed is still there. Like it looks like it's never been smoked so he's this big pile of weed on his desk and i didn't smoke at the time i'm like hey what the fuck is this and he goes i vaped it already it's no you it's not weed and it looked really pretty i was like oh can i dig through it and he goes yes i'm just digging through this big pile of weed and i find this little tiny seed and i had grown a shit ton of marijuana in a previous life. Ten years earlier, I had grown like thousands and thousands of plants. So I find the seed and I'm like, hey, can I have this seed?

And he goes, yeah, but it won't grow. I've already vaped it. I'm like, cool. It's been like 230 degrees or whatever the fuck it is. And you won't be able to grow it. So I take this seed and I'm living at home with my mom, you know, because I'm still in my 30s. It's not time to move out yet. because I'm still in my 30s.

It's not time to move out yet. And I put the seed in a little tiny pot, and I put a little fluorescent light over it, and the seed starts growing. And so I start taking pictures of the seed every single day, and I make little notes of what's happening, how much water I gave it, when I transplanted it, when I added a second light bulb,

and I would take pictures and write down everything I did. And at the very end, I had this plant, and it was probably – I don't know if you can see my hands. It was probably like the size of a giant beach ball. And I harvested it, and I changed the light cycles, all that shit, and I harvested it, and I got four ounces of weed off of it. And it was surrounded by like 20 fluorescent bulbs at that point. so i took that i took that weed and i and i and i and got my motorhome went down to santa barbara and sold the four ounces of weed and lived on the in my front lawn in my motorhome but during that time i took all of those pictures and i assembled them into a book okay and i and i printed out all the pages and each page looked exactly the same except like the different picture of the plant

and i glued the pages on pieces of cardboard and and I made this big, thick cardboard book. And it was basically like how to grow four ounces of weed in 80 days or whatever I called it. And I gave myself this name, and I called myself Seymour Buds. And I think I still have the domain name. Anyway, so I was just sitting on the book, and it was just like my little art project, right, that I did on the side. While I chased girls and got jobs on Craigslist filming bar mitzvahs and shit. So then I saw one day I was reading in the paper that in the city of Oakland, which was right near my house, that there was a guy there named Ed Rosenthal and he was the largest publisher in

the world of marijuana books. And I was like, oh, okay. So I called him and I said, hey, can I come to your house? I want to show you this book I I made so I take this big pile of cardboard that's got like a three ring like holes in it and I go here's my book and they're like holy shit this is your book and I go yeah and they're like do you have it on on on a disc I'm like no I just made it it's my little art arts and crafts project they're like we'll take it and they've got the book and it's still in publication to this day and it's I don't know how long but for I don't know I make a few hundred dollars every month. But for the first couple years, I made $1,000 every month. Damn.

Yeah, and then they had me write a second book. It didn't do as well, but it still did well. But it was kind of like what you did. I was just like an all from just this seed I found. And when you have marijuana seeds, I don't know if you're familiar with it. The seed could have been male. Yeah, I grew some plants in high school, actually. Okay.

Yeah. So it ended up being, I mean, destiny. Destiny type. Yeah. And to have that kind of… A kind of your story, right? To have that passive income is really, you know, it's incredible. It's just.

Dude, I could buy a pack of cigarettes and my current wife now, I could go over to her house and I could buy coffee. And like, I didn't have to be like panicking if she ordered a latte. I got money. I got like 50 bucks in my pocket. Yeah, it's amazing. It's amazing. Get what you want, girl. Yeah, it was awesome.

You want to get smoothies afterwards? I got it it's on my weed book yes it's but you know that that's the thing if you make stuff and you there's not i mean i know there's a lot of artists but to really uh and i think a lot of artists the overwhelming majority are um that creative gene does not mix with the business gene there's there's typically one or the other and i really think the only successful artists just have both or have stumbled upon or have an agent who can really do that for them but right to make something complete it bring it somewhere and go here it, is really fucking hard for most people.

Yeah. I mean, I waited for editing my album. And then when the pandemic hit, I run an Airbnb, so I lost my income there. I lost all my stand-up gigs. And it was purely the survival that forced me to sit down and edit that fucking thing. What do you mean you run an Airbnb? So I live in a five-bedroom house in Brooklyn that I rent from my landlord. She lives below me in the first two floors.

And so I've been doing this for eight years with a roommate and we would Airbnb and rent three rooms all year round. And then she moved out. I took it over and suddenly I had four bed, extra bedrooms and a, and a, you know, rent to pay. So, so I started doing, So I started doing – renting four rooms. So I lived with four Airbnb guests, and then the pandemic hit, and they all flew back to Europe. So a lot of European people. So you don't have any COVID fear? I had COVID the first week of lockdown march around march 12th uh so yeah i mean i had it and i had it pretty bad but also it was the first wave when no one knew what it was so you take a neurotic person

give them a uh you know covid you had it before all the hype you had it before it was um i had it when people didn't believe me this is what's so hilarious to me is like it was so early on you know everyone was making fun of this thing i mean i would get on stage and shake everyone's hand in the whole audience and get up and go i just got back from wuhan and everyone oh my, everyone would laugh. And you know, I'm touching people's faces. I mean, it was like, uh, super spreader, super spreader. Even the politicians were like, don't worry about this. You know, Nancy Pelosi, go down to Chinatown support. No one gave a shit or was, or was threatened by it. So I had it and, uh, yeah, I was in bed for two weeks, but also I was, this was back when I was like super liberal and watching CNN every day and MSNBC and the fear mongering was, was almost criminal. So I was paralyzed.

I wrote out care instructions for my dog. I wrote a living will. for my dog. I wrote a living will. I mean, like they really made it seem like this was going to wipe out everybody. And they did not make the distinction of age or health or any of that stuff. So it was probably the worst couple of months of my life, I'd say. Oh, interesting. I just had it. I just had it last week, a couple of weeks ago. But for me, I'm, I'm'm i don't need any added sugar or refined carbohydrates okay so i have a bulletproof and i work out every day and i have incredible self belief i think and i'm narcissistic and all that stuff so like it can't you can't get me

so that helps that all helps yeah um yeah but but so you were you were a liberal, too. Oh, my God. We're on the same. It wasn't even what happened. How did we become liberal and then how did we get unliberal? Well, I mean, I still want to be a liberal. I just can't. I still want to like love trees and like. Well, you might be you can. That's the thing. It's like. But I can't do any of the CNN stuff anymore. I can't do any of the – I can't like – But they're no longer – that's the thing is – that's what I realized. I don't have to just go along with them and go, oh, this is what liberal is now. They've moved so far left that like guys like me appear conservative.

People go, oh, you're conservative. No, they just went far left and I didn't go with them. So if you move the whole treadmill, yeah, now I'm conservative, but not by definition. So I was born into it. You know, I compare it to religion. It's not even something I thought about, you know, we were indoctrinated. Yeah. This is what my parents believe. This is, these are the CNN was, my dad watched MSNBC every day. So there's part of it that's nostalgic. I ended up watching Morning Joe, the whole pandemic, you know, the first year.

And it was probably because I felt closer to my dad when I was watching it. You know, it's, these things are just built into us. And it takes, it takes something to kind of shape. Oh, what the hell was this? What was I taking part in? Introducing TD Insurance for Business with customized coverage options for your business. Because at TD Insurance, we understand that your business is unique, so your business insurance should be too. Insurance, we understand that your business is unique, so your business insurance should be too.

Whether you're a shop owner, a pet groomer, a contractor, or a consultant, you can get customized coverage for your business. Contact a licensed TD Insurance advisor to learn more. Was it hard for you to wake up? Was it hard for you to see that, oh shit, something's not right? Yeah. I'm on autopilot. Like I need to rethink a few things. Was that hard? It was really hard. And it all, all for me started with the with the word diversity yeah and it really

started to impact my oh it was a slow build for the last 10 years it wasn't that prevalent early on when i started stand-up and acting which thank god i didn't it wasn't like oh i'm not going to get this because i'm white or they're not going to consider me cause I'm white. A few years in, it just started to get a little louder and a little louder. And then I would audition for something and they'd say, well, we prefer diverse people on white or whatever. And then, um, and then I lost an agent because of it.

I got one of the biggest acting agents in the world. They brought me in. We're going to get you on SNL. You know, why aren't you famous? What the hell's going on here? And then a few months go by. I go, hey, what's going on? I haven't heard from you.

And they just write me back exact words. Tough out there for white dudes. Oh, shit. And then they removed me from their database. I got an email and just said, you've been removed. That's a great shirt, tough out there for white dudes. Yeah, yeah. It should be an acronym.

He didn't even, no, he didn't even like capitalize the T or put a period. And I have the email. Yeah, that's beautiful. And that – I quit acting for three years. Wow. I quit acting for three years. And that's the problem right there. Just so you know, people, early on in the show,

we were talking about how his high school teacher said something that stuck on him and believed in him and propelled him forward. But also you have to remember when you're able to use someone to push you forward someone can also hold you back that the game isn't a one-way street okay sorry good good great point great point we were right i was i was getting all excited earlier about what a great guy that is but you gotta be gotta yeah okay well this guy says something that fucking knocks you off your stool well it See, the problem is if it was just this guy, it wouldn't have been a big deal. But this has the force of the universe right now.

This is top down. This is the industry sending it to the producers, sending it why I quit because I started to hear it so much, the blatant, you know, uh, oppressive white male shaming that I just, it just was everywhere. And I'm in Brooklyn. It's just like every date I was on, I would get a lecture about how bad white I'm going, you know, you're on a date with a white man, you know, like, and, uh, and so that, you know, I also had to trust them too. Right. You know, when someone says we're going to make you famous and we're going to, um, and that was probably the fourth or fifth time it happened with an agent, you know, I'd worked with other people, same thing would happen, but I think it was getting that email you know

having him actually spell it out for me was like oh this is this is really um it's kind of cool that he wrote yeah it's kind of cool that he wrote that thank god yeah mad for that dude and you know what's funny though is uh then people became more open and would just tell me explicitly, we can't hire you because you're white, or we can't consider you because you're white. And I thought that was even more alarming how comfortable people were. Because this, the guy didn't think twice of it. He doesn't know I have this email that I'm going to probably point just to show people what's going on. that I'm going to probably point just to show people what's going on. And so that was it. That was the first like, wait a minute.

And then I would tell my liberal friends or whatever, and they'd go, Oh yeah, well, it makes sense. I'm thinking you're willing to use me as a sacrificial lamb. Like it's not just losing an agent. It's like, it's losing the opportunity to, to pursue my dream, which will kill me. Like based on your skin color, based on my skin color. Now, if it was because you were short,

I'd be okay with it. I understand that. Yeah. Yeah. Well, women want to fuck big dudes. People want to hang around big guys. It's genetically programmed into us.

They're bigger, faster, stronger, more intelligent. Well, I don't know more intelligent, but better looking can bigger dicks. Oh, they got all the good shit. They're bigger, faster, stronger, more intelligent. Well, I don't know more intelligent, but better looking, bigger dicks. They got all the good shit.

They're big, giant. I understand that. But skin color, like I'm only 5'5". I understand why women want big dudes. I get it. I think a woman who's 6'1 sounds great. Yeah, yeah. But color – but I'll take them black, white, or other.

Right. But to judge you on your skin color is crazy. Unless it's a role like Jamie Foxx playing Ray Charles. Okay, yeah, we want a black guy. No one's going to dispute that. God, isn't Jamie Foxx good? He's so good, man. He definitely was an inspiration.

If you would have said, hey, you saw Jamie Foxx play Ray Charles and so you quit acting, I'd understand that. But not because you're white. Yeah, well, fortunately I had a knack for impressions. So I think deep down when I saw him do that, I thought, oh, if I do impressions, it'll get me to this point where I can do them in movies. do impressions it'll get me to this point where i can do them in movies you know that was the that was kind of the motivation to to do the impressions you could do fauci oh yeah oh shit you're a young fauci just because your impersonation of fauci is fantastic and you probably have the same build as him yeah i bet I do. I bet you Fauci has a good body. Well, he does.

He does. And that's the thing. You know, there's a lot of opportunity to play roles like that. And this is also what's funny is people will reach out to me to audition for things when they need a voice match. Yeah. So it's funny that suddenly they'll go, oh, wait, skin color doesn't matter. I just auditioned for Muhammad Ali's voice. And so it's a house of cards.

It's fraught with contradictions that suddenly they'll go, oh, wait, we need the best guy for this job. So skin color doesn't matter. So they're willing to pick and choose when they're going to discriminate. But, yeah, that fucked me up really bad. And it happened again a few months ago. Another major comedy management company reached out and they said, we saw your stuff. They sent someone out to come watch me do standup. They got, we got on the phone and I'm, I'm, I'm sitting there going, Oh man, they're going to sign me. You know, they said, we can get you to audition for Curb Your Enthusiasm, which is my all time favorite show. So I, I make the call and they said, we have some bad news. we accepting white men and so that's so awesome though that they're telling you that i have to they're so dumb they're so but i but i but i kind of like it don't you

kind of like it that they're that they're just saying it like that like in the sense that well first of all do you think they're being honest do you think maybe that like what if they just just think you suck and they don't have the guts to tell you so they want to blame it on your skin color? No, no, no. This, and I really made sure, and I recorded it because I- Because you're litigious. Because you're litigious. We've already established that. Yeah, but this is like your son, right? What if he wants if he wanted to be an actor and and let's say you left the room

and he's a jew my wife's a jew he's fucked doesn't matter and i and i'm armenian and he's going to be short he's going to be short white army well the armenian and harry and harry. All of those things could help with ethnic ambiguity. But anyhow, so I'm starting to collect this stuff because I feel so – I have 15 years. I have a resume. I got on TV. I have good roles. I'm a good – 12 years of stand-up experience. I've got a jam-packed resume, but when I show it to them,

skin color goes to the top. So if I quit after having the world behind me and the support of famous actors and comedians who were, who vouched for me to get this manager, what, what is a young boy going to do or young girl going to do? They're not even going to bother going to acting school. Why would they? The society is literally saying, you're not going to have a chance. We're not going to consider you. And without hope, I mean, you're acting and comedy drives on hope. This is a stupid career move i mean 99 so when you remove that hope there there's no point

in pursuing it so i'm starting you're a successful you're a successful starting up you're a successful actor comedian and you still can't make a living doing it you still have to run an airbnb and by every other metric you're successful right so I was yeah I was on tv I was playing doing guest stars and co-stars I big youtube channel I still well that just that happened in the last couple months so I wasn't making any money on youtube I'm still you know not making much but but to then have the well we're not going to consider you because you're white thing. It's like I just threw in the towel. So I plan on speaking out on this a lot more because I need people to actually hear these people saying out loud racist, discriminatory things, which have become socially acceptable.

And it's, it's just very alarming. So that's when I sought out other, other views. I go, I just like I needed the support of that acting agent. I needed someone to say to me, Hey, that's racist and discriminatory. Like I didn't even allow myself to think this was bad because I was so brainwashed. And then I heard Jordan Peterson in a lecture say, this is racist. And I go, holy shit, I needed someone to say that so bad. I needed support. And that's when I started to listen to other opinions, you know, conservatives and Republicans. And I'm not now Republican or conservative, but it was only people on that

side who were saying, this is wrong no matter who is being discriminated against. And I was like, wow, you seldom hear that. Yeah. You were on Colbert and John Oliver? I was on Colbert just doing a sketch. I acted in a sketch. And I was on Last Week Tonight acting in a sketch. Both were because I knew people that worked for the show who just reached out to me directly. Two amazingly talented people. But does your heart break when you see how lost they are?

Like when you see them making fun of things that like you can see now the veneer, like their humor is a veneer on a sad truth that needs to be told. Do you know what I'm referencing? Like it's – there's a guy, the black guy, Trevor Noah. I used to really like him, and now when I watch him, I see, oh, he's a guy the black guy Trevor Noah I used to really like him and now when I watch him I see he's a child he's making fun of people that he's making fun of a situation that's not really there he's making fun of his own delusions of grandeur

and I'm like shit these guys like have lost their way they're so their shtick is so built on making fun of the right that they they're so their shtick is so built on making fun of the right that they they um they're unable to think logically anymore and do you have a bad for them like you're like oh my god trevor you're so talented oh my god colbert you're so talented but like yeah it was kind of cool you almost saw what's his name john stewart you almost saw him go on

uh you almost saw him unfuck uh colbert like he threw colbert a lifeline because it does look like stewart might be waking up and i love john stewart too i love john stewart i mean i like all those guys i just feel they're so lost right now well you also have to you have to sort of um step back and john stewart what he said and did on that show was not outrageous or anything you know but that when you weigh it against how crazy the others have gone you go wow john stewart really took a risk he didn't that and that's what's scary really you know he didn't do he just challenged what every comedian has done since the beginning of time which is challenge challenge something when someone goes, this is how it is, this is how it is, this is how it is. You go, wait a minute, what if we flip it upside down?

The fact that that seemed extreme on those shows, I think really, really lifted the veil on how far gone they are. And just an arm of the the democratic party really in this did you see the um the climate change night last night or two nights ago no those guys are out of their fucking mind too so so all of the late night hosts samantha b jimmy kimmel jimmy fallon they all poor jimmy kimmel and poor howard stern there are two other ones i feel so bad for. Howard Stern has ruined his life. He's ruined his life.

Go ahead. Sorry, go on. Climate, the climate change. I have thoughts on Howard Stern, but they all got together the night dedicated to climate change. So on each individual late night show, the whole show was trying to shame people into fixing the climate. And it was like, what the fuck is this?

Isn't this just state TV? Isn't this just – and someone made the example, what if they all got together to promote building the wall? It would have been the same type of feeling. to promote building the wall. It would have been the same type of feeling, you know. But now Howard Stern, what happened? He just went off on the unvaccinated, right? Well, that, but about two years ago. So this is going to be really pretentious of me to say to you,

although I say it on my show all the time and on my Instagram all the time, I apologize if it comes off pretentious of me to say to you, although I say it on my show all the time and on my Instagram all the time, I apologize if it comes off pretentious to you. There is not a single healthy person has died from this SARS-CoV-2. What do I mean by that? I mean that anyone who does not eat added sugar or refined carbohydrates has not died. Zero, not one. You cannot find one. The leading correlate of all premature death is obesity. If do come down with you have um if you do eat sugar your bloodstream is filled with hormones primarily like insulin and leptin things like that when your bloodstream is filled with hormones your nk cells and your t cells cannot perform their duties and what are their duties to basically kill anything that's not wanted in your body and

they can do it with you can go on youtube and watch videos they can kill and they can do it with, you can go on YouTube and watch videos. They can kill cancer. They can kill all viruses. They are amazing. But if you eat shit, you will fuck up the whole process. It's like this. And people, people think, oh, everything's okay in moderation. No, a little bit of peanut butter in your dad's gas tank of his Maserati is not okay. Not even a little bit. And so you have to realize we live in this society where we flip the script. They think that like the rhetoric of eating healthy is, is, is extreme. It's not. The extreme is drinking a Mountain Dew. It's so fucking extreme. The extreme is consuming, there wasn't raw sugar a hundred years ago. And we, and we know, and we know this going back, I'll tell you one more quick thing on the subject. Hitler was obsessed with people dying of cancer.

He was obsessed with him dying of cancer. And he wanted to take over the Ukraine and kill all the people there and make it one giant field of organic produce. And why? Because he panicked because of cancer. Well, why were people dying of cancer? Because of industrialization and they just started eating sugar. Well, now for the last hundred years, we've been on this chase to cure cancer. There is no fucking cure for cancer, you fucking morons. Just like there's no fucking cure for pregnancy. If you don't want to get pregnant, don't sit on dick. If you don't want to get cancer like if you if you taped your cell phone to the side of your head for 20 years but but in general they've they're they're it's

not we don't need to add something to the mixture to be saved from sars you have to stop doing bad shit to yourself you're poisoning your fucking self yeah and they don't that that's and no one wants to acknowledge and no one wants to acknowledge that i forget how I got off on that tangent, but I have to do it in every show. Howard Stern. Howard Stern. So Howard Stern is so wealthy. He can have the ultimate cook. He's very thin.

He's got his own best coaches in the world. He's got hundreds of millions of dollars. And this fucking moron, it's as dumb as what Trump did. When Trump got SARS, he should have fucking hired a trainer and lost 50 pounds. That would have been awesome. Awesome. Trump did. When Trump got SARS, he should have fucking hired a trainer and lost 50 pounds. That would have been awesome. Awesome. Instead, he took the, like he could have been an example for us all, right? Same thing with Stern. He can be an example for us all to be like, guys, it's okay. Take care of yourself. Take personal responsibility. And instead he's promoting the fear. And what fear is, is fear is the first

manifestation of selfishness. Selfishness is the opposite of selflessness. And so he has this, he's permeated with selfishness. And why is fear selfishness? Well, it's the same thing like if you're crossing the street and someone honks a horn, you become 100% selfish because you become in survival mode, right? And that's okay. I'm not saying it in a negative way. But Stern has so much fear. But before he had that fear, he was just the most selfish person ever. And you know that. You can listen to him. You can tell his staff hates him.

He's funny. You can tell working there is a fucking horrible thing because you make $42,000 a year and he makes hundreds of millions a year. But people do it because of the clout and still wanting to climb on top. And I get all that. But people do it because of the clout and still wanting to climb on top, and I get all that. But now that he's been pushed to the brink with this epidemic, all his fear is manifesting as – all his selfishness is manifesting as fear, and it's gross, and it's pathetic. And hate, fear and hate. Yes. The fear, you just – if you don't want to face it, you put a mirror up, and it projects hate back on people.

But he's – now, he, I know know is a pretty extreme germaphobe. Yes. And as was Hitler. Yes. a discussion with a guy who's linked these atrocities in history with the level of, um, I guess, uh, a germophobic neuroses, uh, which then ends up turning into, you know, with Hitler, we have to, he originally was what going to go in and clean all the ghettos, right? All the Jewish ghettos. And then it turned into, well, put them in jails and then shower them, shave their heads

and just kill them and it's like yeah this guy had such a precise sort of link to that with with the way people were mass executed and it and a lot of it always ties to parasites and viruses and i'm so glad that i saw that talk so I could kind of understand, even if people aren't conscious of what they're doing right now. But it's like we already turned the unvaccinated to the pandemic. And Biden said that, which is so alarming. And I can't believe people aren't focusing on that sentence. How about Canada? How about Trudeau? I know, it's crazy.

The stuff they're saying is crazy. that about canada how about trudeau it's i know it's crazy but to call i mean biden said the words the only pandemic now is the pandemic of the unvaccinated i mean that is that is such a first incorrect and cruel thing to do you just turned a third of the country into the virus and when you call somebody of a deadly virus well now you can do whatever the hell you want to do to them right right to save the rest so right it's alchemy alchemy and it's alchemy through words it's all it's all it's all this whole life is a word game this whole you know where this leads we know where it leads and i'm not like going oh it's going to be another holocaust but but you can see the exact overlap between what's happening now and what happened in the very beginning of the Holocaust, which was we got to clean this virus and the people are the virus.

So my mom's like, oh, I like it so much better when you're funny, Savant. I wish you'd be funny. I like it when you're funny on your Instagram. I wish you weren't always talking about obesity and sugar. I like it when you're funny. Do you ever get concerned? I mean, you seem to be doing amazing. Your Instagram is funny as shit.

And so is your YouTube channel, Tyler Fisher, for those who don't know. Tyler Fisher. Do you ever get concerned that this is going to make it so you're not funny? Like I heard you say you're saving all of these emails or these times when people say it to you, but maybe you should only be saving them to do to create more stand up. To create more sketches. Well, back to not labeling labeling myself a comedian, you know, right? When I don't want to be an activist, do you? You want to be a comedian. Comedian's so much more fun.

Activist seems like... Well, there's a duty involved here, right? It's like, I... All my dreams were crushed. And not to say, like, I'm... So that sketch that I made was the first bit of acting I've done since the three and a half years since I quit. The one with the band-aid?

Yes. That was the first time I've acted. So look at what I missed out on. Three and a half years, I stopped. That's heartbreaking, right? It's like, what would I have made? Yeah. So again, back to my point of who else is going to miss out on their, their dreams and their creations. And they're going to throw their scripts out. Cause they go, well, I'm white. I'm not wanted. There's a, I feel like I have a duty and I don't have to become an activist. I can stick with what I'm doing. And even if it's one out of 10 times, I put up a post and go like,

because there's something powerful in, um, not turning that into a joke and just going, Hey, here's a phone call with me and a manager. They will not work with me because I'm white and just leave it there. You know, that that's just kind of placing it and letting people make their decision. And there's something in me that just knows I'm going to have to do that at some point. And I can still make a joke about it. I can still make a sketch and maybe just read those lines verbatim, which I've done before. I was thrown off a podcast for being white. And all I did was do a sketch where I played both roles going, hey, I want to have you on the podcast. Sorry, you're white.

And that's all I did. And I got so many messages from that. And I did. Which podcast did you get thrown off of? I got I got uninvited on two podcasts. And I'm not going to say the name because I I I just try not to do that. Yeah. Fair, fair, fair.

They were both pretty big. One was a lesbian who and I say lesbian because it was a lesbian podcast or an lgbtq podcast a lesbian is like that's when you have a vagina and you want to be intimate with other vaginas yes penises okay yeah so um and again i don't give a shit who's a lesbian who's gay of course not with comedy it's it's like, are you funny? Are you nice? I want to work with you. I had this person open for me for my special.

I've always supported her. And she invited me on her podcast. We won't get into this now. My dad is gay and she knows that. So I have jokes about that. So she said, you know what? Is that why your parents got a divorce? Yeah. Yeah. Wow. That's a good, well, that's a good reason. Yeah. They should, they probably would have anyways, you know, but,

but, uh, she invites me on her podcast and she's blowing up. This girl's becoming famous. And I was so touched because she said, look, I usually don't have straight people on, but I'm, I, you know, who cares? But I don't believe straight people on but i'm i you know who cares but i don't believe you that you're straight so come on yeah you're you're a huge fag come on so uh who are you kidding yeah so she invites me on to promote my album and then right after the george floyd thing happened she texted me and said sorry i can no longer have on on straight men on the podcast. And I was crushed.

I probably cried. I don't get a lot of opportunity. You should have sent a picture of yourself with a dick in your mouth. Oh, God. I should have. Can you imagine saying that to someone? I will not have you on your podcast because of the color of the skin and what kind of genitalia you like to sit on your crotch. No, I can't because I would be canceled.

That would ruin my life if I did that and someone posted the screenshot. Hey, Tyler Fisher said no more blacks on the show. Well, you know what is interesting about what you've done? So when I got fired from my job at CrossFit, a large part of it was for something the New York Times published about me that was completely out of context and a fucking lie. But the best part about that is now I i can say i can just tell the truth

ding ding ding ding and so i've created i've created my own i've created my own like economy and i'm so free and i get so many dms saying thank you for for talking about this because i'm in a circle of people where i'm scared to death to talk about it and and it's like i mean it's i cannot fucking believe how many dms i get every single day about it even my guest yesterday at the end of the show thanked me hey for all because because i my thing is is like i don't care i really don't care if you're racist or sexist or i don't care like i don't care if you're not only do i not care if you're gay or straight i don't care if you hate gay or straight people like i really don't care. Like, I don't care if you're not only do I not care if you're gay or straight. I don't care if you hate gay or straight people. Like, I really don't care. The part where now finally where I've had to draw the line is, is if you want to stick a needle in my kid.

Can't can't do that. Yeah. Now, now, now, like, like, really, I can't do that. Like, really, really, really, I can't do that. Like the same way I need to eat and breathe. You if you cannot approach my kid and force my kid to get an injection or else something very bad is going to happen. And so that's kind of where I've drawn the line in the sand because I see that happening in places where they're forcing kids to get injections. So I'm free.

I'm free now. I can say whatever I want. I'm free. Like I'm not – I use it for positive. I can use it for positive force of love and acceptance for everyone well well yeah i feel like the gloves are off now and not in a violent way in a way like okay all of my friends who i thought were my friends literally said you know not only uh can you not do our podcast we understand why you're not getting work and we don't care.

I don't, I don't get like, there's nothing to lose now. I mean, I can't even get into the industry. So I'm no longer worried about what I say. Right. You know, it was a painful few years, but well worth it because I was terrified to even talk about my dad being gay on stage i mean i really like i played it safe on stage for for 10 years and now and now i can't even perform in comedy clubs in new york so it's like i really don't give a shit i mean what are you are you jewish i'm like uh like 12% or something. I was going to say you got to like lie then. You should say that like your mom is black and your dad is Jewish.

For what? To not have to – So you can get on stage. Oh, well, I thought about faking it, but I decided I, if I lie and say I'm vaccinated, then I'm just de Blasio wins, you know? So I'm, I'm toying with, maybe I get your feedback, but I'm toying with making more of a formal announcement online. Just saying like, Hey, I'm not performing anywhere that requires the vaccine, just to say, because people aren't standing up for this. And all these comedy clubs that I've spent 12 years getting into, I'm now not allowed in the front door. So it's like another gift, right?

Because you could put a lot of weight in the comedy clubs it becomes people's higher power oh my god did the seller are they going to take me what if i don't get the seller what if they don't you know oh my god i didn't get booked this week at the seller it possesses people and now i don't even give a fuck if i never perform anywhere in new york again so like right that offered me a the next level of freedom I couldn't even imagine having a year ago. So – Six years ago, you made a video going into an Apple store and pretending to be a clerk. And from what I could tell, it was your first big breakout on your YouTube channel.

It was six years ago. Was that your first big video that caught traction? And were actually scared making that because it gives me oh good that makes me feel better because yeah i'm watching you in there and i'm watching it and although i'm thoroughly enjoying it i have anxiety the whole time like i'm watching a zombie movie yeah yeah so i made for a different company so so that video got millions of views as did other ones the company uh then decided this doesn't fit with our brand they removed the videos but i said can i have them and put them on my page so they it got it got another couple hundred thousand when i put it up but uh uh that that was my misstep was I was making those for other people, which is why my YouTube

page never blew up. But, but I was a starving actor and they were giving me 200 bucks to go do these things. Right. Right. I did that for 200 bucks. So, um, how long did it take to shoot that we went into four apple stores uh we probably did 30 minutes to an hour in each one did you get kicked out of all of them no i only got kicked out of one because i had an apple shirt on they didn't know we were filming they just said oh you can't have the uniform on um so you could either take the shirt off and and you know or or or leave but no i didn't get no one approached me wow those no one those were so fucking good those were fun man i know i i they're so goddamn scary that you know like it really because i am high in neuroticism, those, those videos, like, I kind of black out a little bit. I go into a flow state really. Yes. Yes.

But I know that they get so many views. So it's like, you know, it would be worth like, I'm going to do one more, um, uh, as a canvasser in New York, which won't be as intense where I get people to sign for you know insert woke cause right now i think you know that would be a really easy video to to shoot um outside yeah and so so that one and then you did one at um whole foods and then the other one that was just fucking hilarious was the one where you say that um hillary clinton pulled out of the campaign oh that that yeah that um how do you are you just taking a shit and you're like oh my god i'm gonna be dressed right now i'm gonna call my buddy with the camera and i'm gonna go like

how do you come up with that well that was um i think i've okay so it all it'll tie together a little bit i think all the like the the the white shame and white hating stuff was starting to – and I started to see people in the Midwest or whatever starting to like people need such little encouragement. And I'm going, wait, this guy is giving them the encouragement that no one else is giving them because they're being shamed for who they are. And I started telling people, guys, I think Trump's going to win. And I got my ass ripped apart by the liberals in New York. They wouldn't even let me start that conversation. And I was like, no, he's going to win. I was certain. And nobody would talk about it. So I go, you know what? Let me just make this video to show them what's going to happen. Because they're not

prepared for this. People are going to fucking have a meltdown. And they did. That was the motivation of the video. Go out, say that Hillary Clinton dropped out to go, hey, guys, this is actually what's going to happen. So that was completely – I made that because I wasn't able to talk about it. And then do you have a homeboy? Like you just like – you come up with the idea and you call your boy, whatever. And you're like, Hey Carl, can you bring your camera? I want to go shoot a video.

And he's like, yeah, will you buy me, will you buy me coffee? And you're like, yeah, I got coffee and lunch today. Is it like that?

Yeah. Yeah. I'll buy a decaf. Uh, it's like, I, I, I've,

I've used to do a lot of commercials and little sketches for companies or whatever. So typically if I jived with somebody and they would go, Hey, if you ever need something filmed. So each video is like a different production company or a guy that shoots corporate bullshit who wants to get into comedy. So he goes, Hey, I have access to all these cameras, you know, uh, let's do it on a Saturday. I'll go and steal them. You know, I've done. So you don't have a guy. Uh, no, no. Right now, uh, the guy that shot the vaccine video, um,

he reached out and said, I'm moving to New York. I'm available anytime to shoot. So right now me and him, you know, we'll be working together until he can't. But I need a team. But I need a team. I do need a team. Why can't we find guys? So I do this podcast every single day and I'm going to do 500 episodes.

And I have access, because I have that blue check mark, I can DM people like you who have less followers than me and they'll jump on. Like my range is, and obviously this is part tongue in cheek, but my range is, if you have less followers than me and they'll jump on like my ranges. And obviously this is part tongue in cheek, but my ranges is if you have less than 500,000 followers and I DM you

with my 93,000 followers, there's a good chance you'll come on. And so basically I just interview people who I want to interview people like, what's the story of your show? I'm like, I'm just, I'm, I'm avert. I kind of am averse to social interaction, but so that's kind of why I do it. Cause I want to face that fear, but then I, Hey, I just want to call this kind of am averse to social interaction, but so that's kind of why I do it. Cause I want to face that fear, but then I, Hey, I just want to call this guy, Tyler and talk to him because he's,

he's funny as shit. And I think comedy is awesome. And, um, so, um, so I've just been doing that, but I can't find a guy.

Like I can't find anyone who's like, just wants to do it the way I want to do it. Like, like, like, um, one of the, one of the guys I was doing,

what do you mean? A producer? No, I have a producer, my producer. Actually, I was never going to do it the way i want to do it like like like um one of the one of the guys i was a producer what do you mean a producer no i have a producer my producer actually i was never going to do a podcast and i had an old podcast and my current producer said hey remember that old podcast you had and i said yeah he goes well you had a guest on and that guest said some shit that made it so my business is super successful now i have a shitload of money so i want to pay it forward to you i'm like no i don't need anything but thank you and he goes no seriously i want to pay it forward to you. I'm like, no, I don't need anything, but thank you. And he goes, no, seriously, I want to pay it forward to you. I'm like, no. And he goes, I want you to start your podcast up again. I'm like, no. And he goes, I'll do all your scheduling for you.

I'm like, oh, you motherfucker. So I'm like, okay, I will start the podcast up again, and I'll do 500 podcasts. So that's what I'm doing. I'm racing to 500, okay? So – but I have two other guys on the team, and they're like – and they're still kind of on the team, but they're just not all in. Like they say – like they don't want to do these podcasts with you because it's at 7 in the morning, or they have to work out, or they don't want to do a podcast that's like at midnight. They're just not like – like I want guys who are like – like how come I can't find anyone who's just like, fuck it. I'm going to like – like I would have done that.

You know what I mean? Like, well, I mean, to be honest, I did this because I thought you were Mark Maron, but I'm dyslexic. So I saw the M and the N and I go, I'm doing Maron today. And they go, that's amazing. You can still say that. You can still say that. Lie, lie, lie, lie. Oh, OK. Well, it's amazing you can still say that you can still say that lie lie lie lie oh okay well it sounds like why can't we find guys why can't you just find a guy who's like

oh my god Tyler Fisher's the next big thing Tyler call me anytime I'll make videos for you and just like show their loyalty to you and get on your jock like how come I can't find how well that's a big ask I mean it sounds like you're being a little unreasonable having okay tell me tell me be it sounds like you want someone on call rather than i just want someone who's all in like me like who has like no life yeah but they're not you though they're not you so yeah the motivation for you is you own the show you're gonna be the guy so yeah you're not gonna find someone that matches your motivation now i would say maybe you have to be the guy. So you're not going to find someone that matches your motivation. Now, I would say maybe you have to be a little flexible with the time you record it.

Yeah. I mean, basically what I'm doing is I've just said – Or are you paying them? Are you paying them? No, no, no, no. There's no money in this. I'm not paying them. I mean, I bought one of them a brand-new computer.

I gave another one $3,000. But there's no – I'm not giving them – it's just because they needed it. I'm not of them a brand new computer. I gave another one $3,000. But there's no like – I'm not giving them like – it's just because they needed it. I'm not paying them like – Well, if you're not – that's a big – that's something I learned a lot is like if I can pay someone to do it, 100% do that because then you're hiring them to do a job. It gets a little – there's a lot of gray area when it's – a lot of people will say, hey, will you do this thing? Because it'll get a lot of views. So like, I Y, or Z will happen if, if, you know, if you jump on board or, or you'll get, you'll get an intern credit at your college or something, but there's so many podcasts and doing things. So it's hard now to go, Hey, this'll be on serious in a year. If we do 500, if I lived in fucking new york i hear you by the way if i lived in

fucking new york i would find you i would give you my information and i would say tyler i'm ready to film with you on a moment's notice whenever the fuck you want and i'm a great filmer by the way i've made a bunch of movies i have over 10 movies under my name directing producing filming all that shit i filmed in over 100 countries in 49 states um but anyway um and and i'm and i'm cool and neurotic um but if i live by you i would i would fucking get on your jock well i got shit this guy alex he is so why he okay good yeah i deserve it you deserve it it should be a 25 year old kid who wants to make a name for himself we've already filmed twice you know i filmed the sketch a cooking show at my house a fake cooking show then we filled the back seat it it's really

on me now so so this is another interesting thing about like having a following grow that fast or even having a following yeah it's it's humans can't conceptualize that you can't go okay i have a hundred thousand people watching me expecting something uh messaging me so like now i again i told you i wasn't that disciplined so like over the last week i've had thousands of messages come in so i'm honored by the way you responded to mine i I had, well, again, I told you who I thought you were. Uh, I had to go through to see like a guy like you, is someone have a podcast or is someone offering a job? I don't like, I really do not have money. Right. Right.

So I had to, I had to put some people do, you know, I had to put like my next sketch, and then this was a draining week. So I have to get back – so my point is it's on – I'm taking personal responsibility. It's on me. This guy is ready with the camera. So it's a lot. It's confusing to have a following. It's great, it's a lot. It's, it's, it's, it's a confusing to have a following. It's great. It's the goal, but it's also like, you know, it's a lot of carrots being dangled,

even like beautiful women, like getting hundreds of messages from young, beautiful women who aren't vaccinated, who are going, Oh my God, thanks for that video. You're cute. You know, why don't you do it?'t do it you're too busy no no don't give away no no no no no stay focused yeah yeah but but it's like i still have to go through all yes you must vet them and spend a few minutes on their instagram account seeing if they're really as pretty as they are in their profile picture yeah yeah but uh you know it's so the dis the discipline thing you have a girl everything no i don't have a girlfriend no i have crazy discipline that's great i do not

i do not i don't believe you i think you do no no no i i don't i don't i mean so i uh but i'm again this is why i i invested in this yeah to have this battleship where this isn't connected to my other computer. So I try not to watch pornography anymore. If I slip up, it's not connected to this. I wanted a clean workspace. And so I'm getting there. I'm getting there. When you buy something

like that, do you feel an obligation for it? Like when I was in my twenties and I, um, and I bought a video camera, that's how I got into filming. I was like, I was, I was homeless basically. And I, and I had this job and I had this paycheck that was making $7 an hour that I told you about. And I had saved thousands of dollars and I went to circuit city and I bought a video camera, but I felt this obligation to it. Okay, I spent all this money. Now that you bought that computer, do you feel an obligation to do a bunch of, create a bunch of cool shit

or else you feel like the money went to waste? Well, I think I had proven myself because I was doing all of this stuff on that little computer. It was like, okay, I did 30 episodes of my podcast with this slow, terrible machine. Ah, yes, yes. The sketches are written. I've got the guy to film. Okay. Now to do that vaccine sketch, now I had this 27 inch fast thing. And that's part of the reason that sketch was so good. It wouldn't have been so good

on my old one. So I know myself well enough now to go, okay, you're not exploiting this. You're ready for it. And you're going to up your game and don't put pressure. Don't, don't say now that I have this great machine, I'm going to be great. You know, it's just gonna, I need this to match where I am now. You know, what was the guy's name? Mark Maron? Mark Maron? Is that his name? You don't know Mark Maron? Oh man, now you're embarrassing me. Oh shit, this guy? Rancho Cordova, homeless

people, gray hair with, no, I must have the wrong Mark Maron. Wait, you do really not know who Mark Maron is? I don't Tyler, I'm sorry. Oh, he's got one of the biggest podcasts in the world. And he looks like you oh shit there's hope mark mark man am i spelling his name wrong no you're it doesn't matter if you don't know who he is because you're you're doing shit with your life it's like

uh oh i do see him yes yes i will whoop that dude's ass. I work out and shit. I'm 5'5", 155 pounds, 49 years old. I mean, you definitely resemble him, for sure. I do. He had Obama on. Yeah. Another massive disappointment. I voted for Obama. I campaigned.

I flew to Florida. Yale flew me to Florida to campaign for Obama. You'll burn in hell for that. You'll burn in hell for Obama. I campaigned. I flew to Florida. Yale flew me to Florida to campaign for Obama. You'll burn in hell for that. You'll burn in hell for that. But I didn't vote for him because I couldn't vote. I traded my vote to go campaign. So I could say I never voted for Obama, which makes me racist. Yeah, Marc Maron has one of the biggest podcasts of all time.

No, being white makes you racist. Sorry. Oh, that's true. Not because you didn't vote for Obama. That's true. Tyler, I have to get in my car and drive my kids. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got to.

No, no, I got to go. No, no, you can't. I actually also do. I got to do. No. I have to do, who is he's in Zari's voice or something. I really appreciate your time. I'm going to email you and ask you gently for your phone number.

Sure. Sure. I would like to be like friends with you. We can test that out. Yeah. I always thought it was stupid when I see little kids in the park who walk up to my kids and say, yeah,

be your friend. I'm like, that's fucking ridiculous. But sure. Sure. But now here I am at 49 years old saying I'll have to, yes, we can test it.

I'll talk to my therapist and we'll, we'll arrange something. Do you have any Armenian friends? I'm a hundred percent Armenian. I don't think so, but that could help my image right now. Yes. No, nothing can trust me. I got the gay dad. I got all nothing can trust me i got the gay dad i gotta let none of it matters it's it's

none of it matters but uh there should be an exemption of like um of things like if you're white and you need like but you had a gay dad but you you know you have you had hair on your back 12 years old like there should be some things like almost it almost worked you know like it almost got me in the lesbian podcast it almost got me on the lesbian podcast. It almost got me on this Indian one. And then they go, I'm sorry, we're out of time. We're, so, but, but, you know, now I literally can say anything. Like I, I used to be afraid to do, you know, an Indian accent or an Asian.

I mean. Do not be afraid, my friend. No, no, no. Well, buddy, it's so good to meet you up and, uh, you know, you'll find someone to help you out. Just,

uh, give them a couple of bucks. And we're no longer live.