The Sevan Podcast - #240 Christmas Show - Colten Mertens and Brian Friend

Episode Date: December 25, 2021

Merry Christmas from The Sevan Podcast! Joined today by CrossFit Games athlete Colten Mertens and the greatest CrossFit analyst and statistician Brian Friend.Follow Colten - https://www.instagram.com/colten_mertens/Follow Brian - https://www.instagram.com/brianfriendcrossfit/The Sevan Podcast is sponsored by http://www.barbelljobs.comFollow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/therealsevanpodcast/Watch this episode https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC59b5GwfJN9HY7uhhCW-ACw/videos?view=2&live_view=503Sevan's Stuff:https://www.instagram.com/sevanmatossian/?hl=enhttps://app.sugarwod.com/marketplace/3-playing-brothers Support the showPartners:https://cahormones.com/ - CODE "SEVAN" FOR FREE CONSULTATIONhttps://www.paperstcoffee.com/ - THE COFFEE I DRINK!https://asrx.com/collections/the-real... - OUR TSHIRTS... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Benefits vary by card. Other conditions apply. Oh, dude, just come out of my speaker. Bam, we're live. Sounds good to me. There she to me you don't hear an echo no no oh wait a minute no i don't how about now echo echo echo echo oh i did i send Colton the yeah link remember when he used to show up on time

now he's fucking got a swolverine sponsorship he's fucking just takes his time I was thinking about putting this um I got these I got these, these. Why didn't you?

Because I didn't get in here in time god this thing is huge yeah it is where are you going to put it it says CrossFit on it but I like the unbuyable thing and I like everything else about it but I don't want to like I don't want a big old CrossFit thing in my office

yes Amanda you missed it bam we're live I don't want a big old CrossFit thing in my office. Yes, Amanda, you missed it. Bam, we're live. I want to class now. The other night, my wife and I were, you know, I whispered that into her ear. I think she liked it. Bam, we're live. She said, Sevan, is that you?

Guys, listen. There's one of you assholes every week who thinks you're going to hurt my feelings. And you're like, you pop into my DMs and you're like, now I know why Matt left you. You're such an asshole. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Listen, guys. Listen. This is going to break your fucking heart but and you're

so negative and bitter towards matt this is gonna really break your heart i hate to say it but um the the seven podcast is uh has significantly more success on itunes like i can't i can't uh i can't emphasize enough and i fucking love Matt and I'm so thankful that Matt and Josh did that podcast with me and I fucking can't wait till Matt comes back. So whether he hates me or doesn't hate me or any of that, like, like you're not, um, like you might as well just say, you know why my mom left you. I mean, like, it doesn't like, like you're fucking it. You're a jackass. Second of all, this one guy in particular got really upset. I guess there's a guy I went after some guy on Instagram who's like big into stoicism. And I told I told you guys he's a fucking idiot because he was promoting the vaccine. And this guy responded with, well, that's because it's OK for him to promote the vaccine, but it's OK for you to be against it. promote the vaccine, but it's okay for you to be against it. You have to put everything in context.

First of all, I'm not against the vaccine, but, but you have to put everything in context. And the big, big picture here is if you're a Taoist, if you're a Stoicist, if you're anything that has to do with personal responsibility, accountability, making yourself better, the journey to enlightenment, you, you are, you have no business arguing other people's limitations. That is not that is the worst thing you can do as a as a human being. And so when you argue when you're when you're promoting the vaccine, what you are doing is you are at bare minimum implicitly arguing other people's limitations. And when you when you refer to vaccinating an entire planet and then thinking that things will go back to normal after what the two years we've been through, you're a liar. So don't attack me because I'm putting things in context or in in relationship to one another. I don't care if you get the vaccine or not but we've reached a point in the narrative where that if you are if you are pushing the vaccine then then you're there's certain implications that come with it same

if you're pushing the mass same if you're pushing quarantine you cannot be a part of the you cannot be a part of the nazi party and be like well the only part i didn't like is that part where they killed the jews other than that they're great people we're not we're beyond that guys we're beyond that you can't be driving the train and being like well i didn't really have anything to do with the bad part we're beyond that we we unfortunately but like i don't i don't care what you do you do you and and tons of people who work on the show and tons of the guests of the show have been vaccinated i mean fucking colton probably has taken like every vaccine he probably tests all that pig shit out on him yeah i don't need a vaccine i just take all my pigs medicine and i'm

good to go are you ever are you ever are your are your pigs clean colton are they clean yeah like could they pass a crossfit piss test yeah okay or blood test they could yeah they didn't do something to them that would make them so they fail no just corn and soybeans man i thought all those animals were all juiced up no so you're not tempted every morning like you're not like the guy who works like in a like around ketamine and every morning being like fuck maybe i should just take a little bit of this to get out you're not like around like bovine enhancement drugs no no nothing like that um it's just uh just all about the macros and you and you and you yeah and you don't want to eat any of that shit they they just make some fat right oh they eat mostly a corn and soybean meal and they have some whey protein and other

nutrients mixed in but you know for the most part um they seem to really like it but yeah not really for me i eat mostly pork chops and potatoes i get my second hand from the pigs. What about applesauce? I eat a lot. Do you eat applesauce? Yeah. Yeah. Eat those carbs. Yeah.

That, uh, that was WC fields, right? Pork chops and applesauce. You know that? No. Oh,

actually a couple of years ago, I think, I think it was catching David's are that mentioned somewhere that she had sweet potatoes, applesauce, and cinnamon as a post-workout snack pretty regularly. Yeah, I have applesauce, pork chops, potatoes, and cottage cheese. It's pretty much my dinner every night. Do you put anything in the cottage cheese? Maple syrup? Honey?

No, just straight up. You eat the 4 the cottage cheese? Maple syrup? Honey? No. Just straight up. You eat the 4% cottage cheese? Pepper. Yeah, 4%. Small curd. You put pepper in your cottage cheese? That's the first you're hearing of this, Brian? I'm not a very big cottage cheese

connoisseur, so yes. Might be a Midwest thing. Do you know other people who do pepper very big cottage cheese connoisseur, so yes. Might be a new West thing. Do you know other people who do pepper in the cottage cheese? Yeah, like a lot of my mom's side of the family does. Allie does. Pretty good. I bet someone $1,000 you will place higher than Justin next year. Don't let me down.

Deal. I won't be surprised colton eats the eats the week eats the week colton eats the week oh yes go colton like weak people he eats weak people yes yes oh shoot twenty dollars fuck that's a good morning um have you worked have you have you worked yet colton no so i was at ali's uh father's house this morning for christmas and uh guys came to the gym across the keto so i'm gonna see their balls right now from there and once we get done with this i'll do a little bit training and then head over to ali's mom's for their christ. But I don't have to farm at all today. My dad's going to do it. Oh, shit. Is that his Christmas present?

Yeah. He's making you soft. This is the first time in I don't know how many years that I haven't worked on Christmas. I do coffee work, I guess, but not farm work today. Is that Allie right there? That's your chick? Allie, yeah. Yeah, goodie right there? That's your chick? Yeah.

Yeah, good job, dude. That was comfortable we did in Iowa City. And she fucks around with that stuff? I didn't know she went hard, too. Yeah, she's training with Kilo 2 in Iowa City for their flag games season team. So they're hoping to make a run this year and see how they do. She's really excited for that. Who's this girl right here?

I don't know. That's my sponsor. That was their Black Friday kind of advertisement video. So I posted that for them. It is. I don't know why. Maybe it says something about how i have you pigeonholed and judged but it is weird to come to your account and see boobs it's just it's i'm not

against it but it's totally unexpected like this is more here we go old mertens um what's with the eye on that pig is that did you punch him no so that pig was just weaned and what happened is his mom probably stepped on his face a little bit so he's got a little scab there uh so meaning he he's done breastfeeding yep yep he just got done breastfeeding how long do they do that um until they're about 15 about 15 pounds or so give or take a little bit not very long is it weeks or months or it's more like uh it's about a month suze is pissed because i'm i'm i'm doing his job I'm doing his job. We got a sponsor for Wadapalooza.

What's that? Does that even make sense? Sure. Well, there's this friend of mine. Maybe Susan will bring up a picture of him. And basically, a bunch of years ago, I started doing the carnivore diet. And like three or four months ago, or three or four months into it, maybe it was a year ago i started uh a little more than a year i don't do it hard is hardcore anymore but my hands and feet started feeling a little weird and so i started like looking for other

people who are doing it and i found this guy holy shit let me see how many followers he has dude when i met this guy he i think he had like no followers he may not have even been on instagram i can't believe i had a friend he's blowing up animal diet stuff so basically um through him and paul saladino i realized that i need to be eating like or i need i probably need to eat a little bit of carbs like some honey and then i need oregon meat i need more vitamins and and uh i was just living off of like bacon eggs and fucking hamburger meat and uh so i started taking his desiccated is that the right word it's basically dry organ meat and seriously like within one more time one more time go colton what'd you say did it come in like a capsule like a pill form yeah yeah yeah and you

got to take a shitload of them right there it is it's those those bottles right there i got those ones from him and then i got some from paul saladino i bought some from those guys heart and soil and basically within hours that something i better. Like my heart, something was wrong with my heart a little bit and something with my hands and feet were a little weird. And it went away right away. And I was like, holy shit, that's pretty crazy. And so I started just building relationship with him. I knew he had kids. So I was always trying to get him on the podcast. And then he fucking just blew up, you know, huge. And I knew he was a successful businessman. I didn't know he was, I had never seen him before.

I didn't know he was like some fucking monster. And so we built a relationship anyway. So then I texted him once in a while and I text him and I said, Hey dude, the podcast is blowing up. We're over 300,000 downloads on Apple podcasts a week now. And so we started talking a little bit and i was like hey i'm going to go to wadapalooza um if i had a little bit of money i could really blow it up because we've been talking to matt o'keefe you know who that is colton yes i know matt okay and

he should be representing you that's a drop well maybe he offered and you denied him i don't know but that's a missed opportunity on his part and so he reached out to me which shows how smart he is or did i reach out to him i can't remember one of us is smart and uh i said hey we we stole this stream from dubai crossfit challenge can we steal your stream too and i thought he was going to be like hey fuck off and just you know give me a kiss and send me on my way he said absolutely not only can you steal our stream but you can i'll give you anyone you want on the ground. They're full access to the event. Yeah.

It's hoping to promote the event. So I'm going to send two guys there, um, with the iPhones and, and live stream the fucking whole event and steal their feed and sit in the comfort of my own home and, and fucking take over the world. And I can't believe you're going to be there. Well, I was kind of hoping you weren't going. And then I was going to ask you if you could be the comfort of my own home and fucking take over the world and i can't believe you're going to be there well i was kind of hoping you weren't going and then i was going to ask you

if you could be like one of my like guys on the ground there with the phone like interviewing people can you imagine being interviewed by colton hi would you say hi to people or just stand next to me that's a big ask i don't know i don't really like i don't really like you but stevan gave me 500 to be here yeah maybe something like that yeah i read paul's one of paul's books about uh carnivore diet a while back and yeah the the organ meats are really important it's got what that's where most uh vitamins minerals nutrients are like um i guess if you were to study uh ancient civilizations they would uh that's kind of the most prized food

was the organ meats and if you were to study like packs of wolves the alphas always eat the organ meats first and the ones lower on the hierarchy get the muscle meats so yeah the organ meats really important if somebody's gonna do a carnivore diet. Are you doing any of that? Are you eating any organ meats? No. That's not really something that's going to work for me just because I need so many carbs for training.

Otherwise, I might look into it. Yeah, I keep trying different forms of liver and it's hard for me. There's something about the smell and the taste. And I think of myself as being able to eat anything, like my stomach just being a trash compactor. Like I could eat probably four eggs, a side of bacon, and a bag of gummy bears, no problem. But liver. Yeah, I never had liver, so I don't know.

I acquired some liver and tried cooking in a variety of different ways a couple times. It was tough. There were some ways I could eat small portions of it, but I had the same problem eating big quantities of them. The smell. How about when you cook it? Oh, my God. Who is that? Is that your dad?

Yeah. He's supposed to take care of the pigs. Who is that? Is that your dad? Yeah. He's supposed to take care of the pigs. Well, I was going to ask you about your dad. So how has your dad's – should we wait until you forget that he's listening before we ask the dad question? No, go ahead.

How has your dad's perception over this hobby of yours changed since the last time we've talked to you is he i mean is it weird to you that he's accommodating you working your christmas are you like oh shit my dad's getting softer oh shit he's understanding what i'm doing or or maybe he's just trying to support your relationship with your girl like what's going on with your dad uh so when i first started doing crossfit um i guess we'll just go way back so in high school it was kind of expected i was going to wrestle in college and i've been talking to some schools about wrestling with uh at different places but um i really wanted to start doing crossfit i was getting burned out of wrestling and i already had two surgeries on my knee and my shoulder and i was pretty sick of cutting weight i just wanted to get into crossfit and it wasn't something where i wanted to do both whichever one i did i wanted to

go full in on it so he was a little bit surprised by that at first i think surprised slash disappointed or maybe um did he wrestle did he wrestle no so when he was a kid he pretty much had uh didn't really have the opportunity to do sports in school because he was always on the farm helping grandpa um you know raise all the animals to get crops and all that stuff but he was always very supportive like of me wrestling in high school like he paid for a lot of camps for me to go to um there's one summer i went to five camps like university of iowa luther college it's kind of all over the place and uh so i guess when i decided i didn't want to wrestle in college that was probably a bit of a shock to him but um i wonder if he liked you wrestling for the same reason i like my kids

doing jiu-jitsu because like he's a pussy deep down inside and he wanted a tough son to compensate for it no no i mean you live with them you have to say that i mean he'll come home fucking drive the pickup truck back there and just start flogging you eating you on live so i understand what you can tell me like wink twice if i'm if i'm close to if i'm like i'm on no it wasn't one of those things um okay so i got i got to college at university northern iowa i came across at kilo and at the time i was working in a dining center on campus and also coming home on weekends to work on a farm. And I think at the time during my sophomore year, I told him I wanted to quit my job at a dining center so I could train more. And he's kind of the father.

He doesn't really ever tell me what to do. He makes me make my own choices. But he was just kind of saying like you know i'm not sure that's a good idea um because he didn't really know where i was going to go with crossfit but i went in and quit my job anyway and i ended up making more money um just competing at competitions and winning and i would have made the dining center so that ended up working out well and then um i started coming home for the summer i kind of took over the shed that we have down at the house and kind of started turning it into my gym

what was the shed before the storage you just it was all your dad's shit yeah there wasn't a ton of stuff in there but there's like farm tools and uh materials and supplies and stuff like that mostly okay and yeah it's just this old shed i went to the farm and we used to have these rubber mats that we put down um for the little pigs to lay on these were a little warmer but we stopped using those how nice of you i know uh so we stopped using those and i modified them to use them as like rubber flooring in there so i could do my olympic lifts and stuff and when i started out my dad had this barbell um i think it's as old as i am and it's one of those thick bars it's not like uh the same size as the ones we use uh-huh

it's a little bit thicker does it spin or is it the one that's like locked in place it's supposed to spin but it um it didn't really spin uh it's really rusted out yeah that's the shed i thought you said you cleaned it out i see a dog house with a bunch of shit on it right on the other side there's dogs right there my brother had some labs that he's raising and that's where they live they lived in your gym yeah i just shared the space with them so when you say you cleaned it out you're using that term loosely yeah and uh so i used this old barbell and he also had some cast iron plates and that's what i used in the beginning i just eventually saved up money and

bought a i got a barbell it was 70 from titan fitness and um it was a lot better than the one i was using but like uh now it's bent and it doesn't really spin anymore so we got the job done for the time being yeah you bent you bent your first bar already yeah it was not a quality Yeah. You bent your first bar already. Yeah. It was not a quality bar. That's crazy. That, I think that's indicative of your training. That's a good sign. Yeah. It got the job done for the time being.

I didn't have money to buy like a rogue bar or something like that. So, um, yeah, just kind of saving up money and building up my own gym. And, um, as he kind of saw that I was doing that and making a little bit more money, he kind of started to see that I was getting more serious about it. But then it kind of started to have some conflicts with the farm because we were, him and my uncle had just bought a sprayer and started a spraying business doing custom crop spraying. Custom what spray?

Crop. Oh. Spraying corn, all the stuff like that how are you using an airplane no it's like uh you probably never seen one it's really tall it's got really big wheels and it's uh the arms stick out a bunch and uh water tank you fill up fill the chemical and you drive over the corn and soybeans and spray the crops. Oh, I think I have seen those like on the I-5. They're huge, right? And there's a wheel on either side and it drives over the top of the crop with a pole in between.

They're connected, right? Yeah. So it's not – we don't have a plane. All right. Well, for this story, let's just say it's a plane because it sounds cooler. Go on. Yeah, so anyway, they're just taking a lot of time with their new business on top of raising crops and raising pigs. My uncle has an auto shop and raises some cows.

So I was spending 12, 14 hour days at the farm and coming home and trying to train at night and getting up and doing it again. So I was kind of telling him that I didn't really want to do that anymore. I just wanted to kind of take care of the pigs and spend the rest of my time training. Can you paint that situation for me a little bit? So you come home, you're living with your dad. You come home. It's like 8 o'clock at night. He's in the kitchen like, I don't know what he's doing playing

solitaire and you're like uh excuse me um dad dad daddy mertens or mr mertens um can i talk to you i mean like how is that i just i don't i just can't see you telling your dad you're going to reduce your work hours yeah we were in the kitchen and um i think we were kind of arguing because i was tired at the farm and i was probably and when you say arguing like you and your dad it's like you still only say like three words every minute right when you and your dad argue it's not like like me and my wife and we argue it's a thousand words a minute back and forth you and your dad you're like dad and then he's like stop arguing with me son and like you haven't even said anything yet is that are you like really going back and forth no we weren't like yelling or

anything okay um so i think he was mad at me because i was tired at the farm all the time i'm like yeah i've been trying to do all this work here and i'm also trying to train so he's like oh maybe he's need a quick crossfit and i got kind of mad about that i told him that's they're not gonna happen and so like you put your foot down is in and how old were you at this at this time that's probably 2019 had you ever had you ever put your foot down before no so that was kind of really yeah yeah yeah i hear you i remember like the first time i started like putting my foot down with my parents you're like oh shit like you're bracing for impact you're like oh i wonder how this is going to turn out yeah and um so he

didn't really realize um i guess the earning opportunities within crossfit or kind of even how good that i was at the time. So you lied to your dad because there really is no earning opportunity, but we can circle back to that later. You sound like you have a smart dad. What? Earning to be. Okay, fine. What do you want?

He said, well, you better make a lot of money doing CrossFit. I said, yeah, I will. And in just this past two months, I've made $20,000 just from CrossFit. What? Between Rogue and some other sponsorship deals I'm working on. How much did you win from Rogue? I won $15,000 for winning their participation challenge. And a new barbell, right?

So you can finally replace that old one. I have a lot of barbells now. Hey, did you actually get to talk to Bill or Katie when you win? Like, does Bill call you? No, it's all through email. I don't know who I talk to. Dude, you got to talk to Bill. You won that thing.

You got to at least, like, call Bill. Did you thank Bill? Did you DM him in the DMs and say thank you to bill or you got it you won that thing you got to at least like call bill did you thank bill did you dm him in the dms and say thank you to him or katie you need that relationship dude someone is superficial and as money hungry as you and papa mertens are you have to have that fucking relationship it's like if you don't know any girls you are never going to have intimacy if you don't know bill and katie you are never going to have success you have to know them i know how crazy is it that you had that some guy tried to cheat you out of that yeah uh his video was i didn't notice the first time i watched it

but people kept on talking about in the comments and then you could see it's just on a 13 second loop but um that was just for that last challenge hey what's that what's the guy's name who did that blair something from canada i kind of admire him the buttery bro should get you and put you in like a uh you guys should drive up to canada and you should um address him at his house you guys should do like a workout like he should have to like you guys should do something together kind of he should have to like you guys should do something together kind of just to make to increase your viewer count like pretend to beat him up or something there's a great story there man it's crazy what's worse what that guy tried to do to you or what

ricky gerard did to uh uh patrick velner no what rick did is worse i don't know i don't know you're just a pig farmer oh shit listen to sebon that's always every sentence should start like that you'll get your own rogue shirt of a pig with a mullet imprint i do that shirt needs to exist that needs to exist screenshot this and send it to Bill. Yeah, I will. I will. They view it at, at Wadapalooza. They can turn it around. Those guys, Bill and Katie don't really talk to me anymore.

I think, but soon they will. I'm a hundred or 200,000 more views a week away from them starting to talk to me again. That's, that's what they're waiting for. Yeah. I mean, they don't know it, but, but, but yes, yes. I, and I'm not hating for that either i am i'm not judging i'm not judging i'm cold the only the only we're doing christmas with colton he only has 10 000 followers this is a charity event i'm writing this this podcast off doing this

shit with colton i can leave no no please don't please don't it's a joke it's a bad joke please don't okay so so so now he's your dad's a believer yeah he's um like anytime i need time off from the farm for a competition or whatever he's he's always willing to help me out and um yeah he offers me more time off than i take but yeah so he's really helped me out a lot now and i moved into the garage i pretty much have the whole garage to train in now until i get my house built your dad's making you so soft more time off than you need letting you live in the garage hey you know what you i picture um your lifestyle like the way we do it in california is you shower and then you put on clean clothes the way i picture it is you guys like go into the bathroom you take off youria is you shower and then you put on clean clothes the way i picture it is you

guys like go into the bathroom you take off your overalls you shower and then you put your overalls back on and i think that would be the time next time your dad's showering i think you should go in the bathroom and be like hey dad and he'll like poke his head around the curtain and you'll be and you should slip a 20 like in the in his uh overalls and be like here dad here's 20 bucks thanks for you know just to really put your thumb on him like you're making some cash now or maybe fuck go big and get them some new overalls i gotta save my money for my my gym home your gym home yeah wow listen i mean that's dedication most people have a home with the gym in it. You're getting a gym that's also a home. Yeah, it's mostly. It's like three-quarter gym, one-quarter home.

The whole first floor is just going to be gym with a half bath and a laundry and toady room. And then upstairs, I guess, can be two-thirds of it is just like an area. And then the other third will be open so I can do rope climbs and wall balls in that area of the gym. be open so I can do like rope climbs and wall balls in that area of the gym. I say this with all seriousness. When, when you say that, I have a little fantasy in my head that starts playing that outside of there, you have a concrete pad with a two 20 plug and I drive a motor home there and me and my wife and the three plane brothers hang out with you for a month. And I do my podcast from the motor home and then my kids get to work out with you i seriously i have a there's gonna be a 10 by 22 foot concrete pad on the end of it with a 220 volt plug-in yeah oh that is awesome i knew i was on to something

i knew it now you have no excuse not to go. Brian, did you know he's going to Guadalupalooza? Yes, I know a majority of the athletes who are going there. There's different levels there, right? I assume Colton's doing the big kid level. These are the top dogs, but there are a lot. There are more athletes competing in the men's division at Guadalupalooza Elite than there were at Rogue and Dubai combined. Wow. How many is there? there are a lot there are more athletes competing in the men's division at wadapalooza elite than there were at rogue and dubai combined wow how many is there at least 40 over 40 it's going to be

for people like me it's great because it gives a lot of touch points and data points for a lot of different athletes who are all over the board you know you'll have guys who've you know perennial athletes at the games guys who've been to the games once or twice, same thing for the women. And then a couple of people who haven't made it yet, who are striving to get there. You have some people who have competed on the team this past year, but are doing individual in the off season. So you get a lot of different, um, there's a, there's a lot to break down once you see the full roster. Uh, did we already show this? Merry Christmas. Thank you, Heidi. We can show it over and over if you want.

Very generous. Wad zombie. Thank you. Will there be cuts at the event? I don't know that actually, but I hope not. I hope that if there are, that it's only for like a final event or something like that. I hope that, you know, the athletes that are making the trip there, especially with everything craziness in the world right now,

get to compete for at least, you know, all but one of the events, hopefully all of them. And the event starts on the 13th. The first event is on the 13th. What day of the week is that? January 13th. I think it's a Thursday. I think elite starts on Thursday. Yes. Yeah, that's right. Thursday is the first day. And when will you show up Colton?

I think check-in is Wednesday. I'll probably get there Wednesday or Tuesday night, maybe. Okay. So it's 13th is a Thursday. So it's 13, 14, 15, 16. And this is a very pared-down list on the Morning Chalk. These athletes are only people who have either been announced by Guadalupe or have made an announcement on their own personal Instagram.

So that's why there's so few relative to what I said. And so let me read some of these real quick. Hold on a second. Patrick Vellner, Saxon Panchik, Luka Jukic, Jake Marconi, Phil Toon, Dallin Pepper, Guy Malheros. This guy is the first guy that I've never heard of. Eighth, ninth, tenth, eleventh, I've never heard of. Yeah, that's okay.

That's why you have me around. And then there's Cole Sager, Colton Mertens, Tim Paulson, Ricky. Okay. Wow, Ricky's going. He qualified through the online qualifier. He placed, I think, seventh. So, Colton, why are you in those 15 if there's 40? Do you know why you get mentioned and the other 25 don't?

Art Puzo sent me an invite. I think I posted something about it. So maybe that's why. Okay. Basically if the, if the morning chalk up knows that you're competing there, they'll add you to this list. So if you're not on the list and you want to be, you should put something on your Instagram or DM.

Okay. So those aren't all the people who were just invited. No, it's about a third. And they, they were, there's a combination of invites and qualify and qualifier process for this right so i was thinking maybe morning chalk up just put up the invites and not the people

qualify but no that that's a mix because the qualifiers aren't necessarily all competing they still would have had the option to choose to compete or not so if they just put all the qualifiers there they could also be potentially misrepresenting something. So to finish the story I started earlier before we get back to what you're going to do there, Colton. So basically this guy is going to give us some cash, the owner of Ancestral Supplements. And it's the only supplement I take, so that's pretty fucking cool. Oh, well, besides Good Dude's Coffee and Strong Coffee. But this guy is actually going to give me cash,

and we're going to use that money to send a couple people there with iPhones. And the show will basically be just like this, like how we did Dubai. There will be three little boxes on the side. Can you share a screen, Sousa? So there will be three little boxes like this on the side, maybe four or five. Two of them will be camera angles that no one else has except for this podcast and then on the big screen will be the wadapalooza actual stream and we'll be commentating it and bringing interviews to people and all that shit in real time and live so i'm pretty stoked yeah you guys would be able to watch me win some

events yeah exactly and be able to grab you and do some like fantastic deep interviews with you like tears running down your face Yeah, exactly. And be able to grab you and do some like fantastic deep interviews with you. Like tears running down your face. So are you better since the last time we saw you? Are you better than you were at the games? Sorry, are you better than you were at the semifinals? Yeah, I'm quite a bit better than I was then, I believe. Been swimming a lot lot running a lot a lot of lifting uh we're just finished up for a squat uh kind of heavy cycle and now we're moving into our olympic and deadlift focused cycle for strength training

um but yeah still just doing a lot of rowing a lot of wall balls really feeling a lot of improvement there doing a lot of eco bike work, swimming twice a week, and, yes, getting faster. How old are you now? 23. So three years ago you told your dad, hey, I'm going to dedicate more time to CrossFit. It's been three years of hard work.

Is there anything that's not as good as the last games? Is there any part of you that's waned? No, I doubt it. Definitely not. And are you healthy? I was sick this week, but I'm feeling pretty good today. But I mean your body, your shoulder. You mentioned that as a wrestler you had a shoulder and some shoulder and knee issues. Is all that shit under wraps?

Yeah, I don't do injuries anymore. I'm good. Wow. What about your lifting with all the extra aerobic training? How's that? You know, has it been a positive, negative? So my strength work has been coming along really well. I just had, so we did max outs for our squats and stuff last last week and i hit

a 30 pound pr my back squat uh 25 or 30 on front squat and i think 25 on my deadlift as well that's all holy shit um you know this is a this is a super interesting topic for me actually because of what chris hinshaw did you know five to eight years ago with guys like Kalipa and Froning and some of the women, top women at the time. And they were, he was nervous, you know, he was nervous that increasing the amount of aerobic training on a consistent basis, how would it affect the strength training? And every single one of them said positively. Yeah, I've actually been listening to a lot of his podcasts lately. And I think three weeks ago, I bought his aerobic capacity maximizing your potential in the aerobic realm, there's nothing out there that compares to that right now. What do you mean you bought it? Like you went to his website and you put down a credit card and you had to pay for it? Yeah, it's like $30 a month. Did you think about reaching out to him and getting it for free?

No. I don't really like trying to ask for free stuff i guess yeah you already threatened to leave the podcast you're the opposite like you paid 35 for it um so we had ben bergeron on and um can can you tell can you tell us that story about about how you were listening and that's the day you maxed out your back squat will you tell us that story yeah

I believe I was at a Monday I was at the farm and I was kind of looking for something to listen to while I was working so I was washing a pig barn so we had to use like an industrial pressure washer it's pretty loud and it's really just a boring job um so I like to listen to something while

I'm doing it so I saw you guys were doing that podcast so I went ahead and listened and I listened to not all of it but most of it and so I finished up washing the pig barn got home I was getting ready to shower. Then I was going to train and kind of going into it. I wasn't really sure if I was going to PR or not that day. But, but so you're just ran, sorry, sorry, go back. You're just randomly listening to the podcast, Ben Bergeron. And you hear me say to Ben, Hey, can Colton Mertens make it to the game?

And Ben's like, or win the games. And he said, no. Yeah. So then you just happened to be listening live like did you have the spray washer and like he says that and like you get to start twitching a little bit no so i was um just about to turn it off to get in the shower and like pressure washing just holding that wand for several hours in a row really kind of wears you out so i wasn't really sure if i was going to hit a pr that day or not i knew i was stronger by what didn't know if i was going to be able to perform that day but then i heard i'm just getting ready to turn it off get in the shower and then that's when you asked him if i could win the games he said no he's too short or whatever so that's when i commented

we'll see and then i went showered in the garage and carried my bag because another thing that he said to you guys went through he asked him like okay so what are 10 things that a person needs to be able to do if they can make it to the game to win the game so they know if they're wasting their time or not and one thing he said

so I need to put the athlete through like a strength cycle and he needs to add 30 pounds to his back squat. Oh, he did say that? Yeah. So I know that's not, like, a concrete thing, especially as you get further into the sport. But that's just what he said off the top of his head. So then that became my goal for that training session was to PR by 30 pounds.

And, you know, 20 minutes later, I did. 525, 5 wow did you film that is that on your instagram yeah that's awesome maybe i think i posted on a story i don't think it's on my page anymore um when you set the camera up do you feel you feel like there becomes kind of an accountability piece? Like, okay, I better fucking really do this. Yeah. Isn't that weird? I'm not going to hit it now.

Yeah. Yeah, that's awesome. I'm looking for that list he made. That was a pretty interesting list. That was nice of him to do that. Damn, I don't see it. Colton, I was looking at the roster of the guys that are competing at Waddle Plus.

There are 13 guys listed at six feet or taller and only two listed that are under five foot seven. And those two are five foot four and five foot three. What? Who's five foot three? Is that Reggie? I think he's listed. Sometimes I don't know if I trust the weights they're listed.

That's 6'3". That's a typo. There's no do-do's 5'3". Scott Tetla? Oh, Scott, yeah. He is short. But Reggie Foss is a guy like he's listed at 5'7", but I don't know if he's really 5'7", or not.

Fraser was listed at 5'7", but I think he's closer to 5'5. Can I see this Scott 5'3 Tuttle guy? He competed with Colton at the Granite Games, actually, in June. Do you look down on him, Colton? I don't know. I feel like we're the same height. You don't talk

to him like this? Hey, what's up, Scott? How you doing, buddy? We did a good job, buddy. We job buddy against each other for 10 000 athletic apparel they had a used to do like one event competitions and one of them was seven minutes of max burpees to a target and we tied on that for first place. Did you get over 140? I got over 160. It was 160 something. Holy shit. Burpee record of the world, Brian. Is that the 7-minute burpee record of the world?

As far as I know. In 2012, when it first came out, if you could get into the 140s, you were going to be probably top 5. Obviously, that's changed now. People, did you hear that? He did seven. He did 161 burpees to a target.

How high was the target? A foot over your head? Six inches. Six inches over his head, over his hand. He did 161 in seven minutes. I mean, you know most people can't do 161 burpees in a day. That's not a joke. You know that, right?

Most people in the United States of America cannot lie down and stand, or it would kill them. It would break them. I'm good at burpees. And you did it in seven minutes. Hey, is this true? You were on Mark Bell's podcast? I don't think so. Oh, okay.

I would love to see that. Oh, Chris Hinshaw. She's talking about Chris love to see that. Oh, Chris Hinshaw. She's talking about Chris Hinshaw. Yeah, Chris Hinshaw. That's a podcast I listened to just a couple weeks ago. Okay. Yeah, I don't like it when guys have been on my podcast and then they go on another podcast and someone says it's great.

I'm going to ignore that. Suza, block her. She's an Armenian lady from Dubai. Block her. Yeah, that's great. I'm going to ignore that. Suza, block her. She's an Armenian lady from Dubai. Block her. Yeah, that's incredible. Is any part of you nervous about this Wadapalooza thing that you're taking your car out to really test it against the other cars for the first time in six, seven, eight months? Colton, have you competed at Wadapalooza before? A few years ago, I did an RX team of three.

Those were some buddies from the gym for fun. But other than that, I've never been there before. Yeah, not in the individual competition. That's what I thought, right? Now you can answer Savant's question. I know. Thank you. No, it's all... Yeah, I guess the last... I haven't done any major events since the games i did a like that partner competition with alley in iowa city and i did the qualifier for mayhem

desert heat which got canceled so no i haven't like uh got to test myself for a while but i mean even this it's not like i'm going at a peak um i'm going there i want to perform of course but this is just a data point um see where things are at see what else i need to work on so i can look at the gym and see um like my times are getting faster for wall ball workouts or for rowing intervals but um you really just need to look at compare yourself to the field to find out how you're actually progressing and where to where to put your focus on and i also i'm probably going to swim so i'm really looking forward to that just to see what progress i've made since the games and swimming as well um you know the focus is

it really has to be on the games season, really the semifinals and beyond. This offseason events, there's data points, opportunities to win money, competing is fun, and you always want to perform, but if I don't do great, it'll be disappointing, but it's not like I'm trying to peak for this.

But you do want money. You would love it if the trip paid for itself. Yeah, that'd be nice but he's you know he's it's uh it's actually kind of wild every time i start you know um gathering the information of the athletes that are competing i sometimes forget how young some of these guys are like uh you know jake marconi is competing here and in my mind jake marconi is like 30 to 35 years old. He's 24.

And Colton Merton's been around for a few years, but he's only 23. And then you put it in, like, just to put it in perspective, that's the same age as Jason Hopper, who's like a brand new baby chicken in the CrossFit world, right? We just got to meet him last year and look, he's done well, whatever, but they're the same age. And so you have to think about the perspective. What are you going to do in the offseason so that you can check in and see where you're at but still set yourself up for a good game season i didn't even know jake marconi was a real i didn't know he was a competitor i thought he was just the like the dude who filled the buckets of podium up over at the factory you can figure that granite games is he good pretty good he used to be better than me like like i said you know there's a lot of guys

in this field who you might you know because because seven he was at the um oh i thought that guy was doing daniel brandon for a while too but that was just like a rumor i was trying to start on accident well anyway you know he was at the east regional that we worked at in 2018 but he just was in the middle of the pack there you know so he wasn't a big name but if you think about it now he's only 20 years old then and he was already there competing in one of the most competitive regionals um that there was at the time oh shit he's strong can you do that colton five by five with 375 savon one time i did a set of 30 beltless at 365 yeah yeah take that marconi is that true did you really do that yeah it's on my instagram i don't if there's one guest we've had that i can trust

to not say something that's that's a lot you know let's say something true all the time it's colton set of 30 at 365 no belt no belt do you hear that people stop using your belt for 185 135 you don't need it the only time i wear a belt is if i'm competing or if i'm trying to hit a pr or if you're gonna if you're gonna go in the house and try to intimidate your dad you'd ever do that your dad go and take your belt off remind him of the good old days. Actually, that's what he does. When he does that thing you were talking about, when his dad's showering and he walks in with a 20, all he's wearing is a belt.

Right. Wow. That's incredible. And so you remember when Jake – Mark, sorry, Jake. I don't mean to pick on you, but I thought I heard you say you remember when Jake was better than you. Yeah, he used to beat me at competitions. I think he might have been at Grand... Maybe he was on a team at Grand Games one year.

We competed somewhere together. He beat me quite a lot. Brian, is it fair to say that Colton's an outlier? An anomaly? Is that the word? I mean, when you think about what I just said,

there's only two guys in the field who are under 5'7 competing, and they're both 5'4-ish. Yeah, they statistically are an outlier. I don't even like, though, to compare this dude, Scott Tuttle, to Colton because he hasn't had the accolades. He's made the games. He was in an unorthodox format of 2020, but he did compete. He's had multiple top 20 open finishes in his career, I think.

Okay, so he's not as much of an oddball as I like to think of him. Do the women have anyone? Is there a Colton Mertens in the women's division? Like Alana Fisk-Cologne before I think she popped for steroids at some point, but she was 4'11", so that would be probably the closest thing on a height outlier on that side. Wait, is that the blonde girl? She has blonde hair. I don't know if it's natural or not.

Alana Fisk-Cologne. She's, you know, and then Hilary Steele is another one that's really short for the women's side, you know, under five feet, I would say. Alana Fisk-is Cologne CrossFit. I made a comment that they don't like it when I... Oh, do you got her? Is that her? Oh, this is Scott Tetlow.

Oh, okay. Yeah, let's see him. You'll see. He's a strong dude. Oh, he looks normal. Why not look normal, Sivan? As long as you don't wear those shorts that go past your knee, you look normal. But there becomes a point where really short dudes, their proportions start to get all out of whack.

How tall are you, Sivan? I'm 5'5". My proportions are perfect. If no one's standing next to me, you could confuse me for 5'11". Right. I didn't like the way you said that. My torso is long. Your torso is long?

Yeah, that dude looks sort of normal. Although that dude's torso is long. I mean, that thing that Colton said is true. Like, you could have two guys that are the same height or two women at the same height but if their proportions are off you know one of the woman's hips could be sitting six inches higher than the other yeah this guy this guy right here um what's his name again tuttle tetla tetla um he he has the torso of like a 5'10 5'11 man

I wonder what his ape index is damn that guy's a boss are you friends with him Colton I've talked to him he's pretty cool I've talked to him at Granite Games and through the 10,000 events you see that what I did there I tricked Colton into saying he said I said are you friends with him it You can't be. Yes, but he is a softer version of the Colton Mertens that we originally had on, like almost like he'd be offended that I'd asked that.

I was in competition mode at that time. You know where you guys did compete against each other was in the 2018 sanctional season in Dubai, where he beat you by three spots. Jake Marconi, that is. I was checking it out, trying to see if I could find one. I think it was the open night or something that I saw him get beaten. I remember him for some reason. I just remember him beating me. I remember he was young too um i i when someone wears adult shorts they're three-quarter pants from i never at some point

in my life i realized i should never wear shorts that go lower than my knee and so if i buy shorts i hem them up because like short dudes should never i mean no one should wear shorts that go past your knee you're an idiot but if you do you do, if you're short, you're – You're not a fan of like the Capri-style European? No, that's okay. They're supposed to be like that. But I mean like just like these kids that do – like all the young boys in my kid's tennis class, in Avi's tennis class,

they wear shorts that go past their knee. One, it's not functional. You don't want anything rubbing your knee when you're working out. And secondly, you just look like a goof. You look like you got someone else's not functional. You don't want anything rubbing your knee when you're working out. And secondly, you just look like a goof. You look like you got someone else's clothes on. The shorts might not actually be that long. They just might be also six inches short of where they should be on the waistline. Yeah, well, hem them up, pull them up, do something.

Yeah, so what Colton does that makes him look kind of funny sometimes is he's wearing these compression shorts underneath his shorts and his compression shorts like yeah so it just looks like he looks like um what's the guy's name shit i can't remember i had him on the show he doesn't have any legs he just he's big jack dude with a waist and arms the fuck's that guy's name pitbull pitbull rule yeah yeah yeah colton starts to look like him like he should be in the disabled class. Well, I have to get a size big enough to go around my legs, so that makes him long. Do you own a sewing machine? No.

Don't forget, Savan, he might only be an inch or two shorter than you, but his quads are twice as thick. Yeah, I know. And look at his head. That's tough. His head's like a watermelon, too. I know. And look at his head. His head's like a watermelon too. Sevan, stand in front of the mirror naked and thinks very disproportioned.

Yes. That's right. Yes. Everyone would say that if they saw me naked. What are you talking about? How about this right here? Oh, I almost blocked this dude on accident. How many have been over six feet on the podium besides lucas and fikowski do you know that brian well i was gonna say i think velner's listed at six feet short he actually is listed at 5 11 on his profile so it is rare to make the podium at that height um i'd have to go i don't know

some of the older like the younger generation of male podium figures. Like I have no idea how tall Brett Marshall was, for example. Tommy Hackenbrook podiumed. He's pretty tall. Graham Holmberg was fairly tall. And then it kind of, I would say it tails off for a while from there until you get to Fikowski and Holberg.

When's the last time you've been drug tested Colton by CrossFit? That was the only time I've been drug tested. Okay. So they're like Ben Bergeron. They don't think you can win either. I guess not. Yeah. That's not a good sign. We'll see. Yeah, we'll see. That's right. What, what, what, tell tell me you said you're you're interested to um to test your swimming what because last time we talked to you basically you didn't swim right yeah i didn't swim like uh all year round that's why i'm kind of leading up to the games because like uh so you

have only so many but that made But that made sense for you then. We talked about this because he needed to get to the games before swimming was relevant. I needed to fix wall balls and rowing before I could even think about swimming. Okay. So tell me about what the swimming regimen has been since the games last year. So usually I swim Saturdays andays just at the rec center wow i just love it how the two closest people to you just bomb you in the comments

we raced uh the other week and uh yeah i was i did like four workouts before that and she was probably fresh um but yeah we won't talk about the results right now how far did you guys raise a thousand meters yeah it's a thousand and when you do something like that are your shoulders sore the next day i'm assuming you did freestyle yeah my shoulders uh don't usually get too sore a little bit on my laps my lats on my armpits will but uh for the most part no um no i do i do a lot of volume uh like on saturdays i usually start out with like a 500 or 1000 and then from there i'll go into smaller intervals get 250s or 100s and usually get around work up to around 2500 meters in total intervals and then sundays i usually just go swim and just focus on technique and use it as an active recovery

session and just go for 20 or 30 minutes do you ever do any like underwater like a swim length of the pool underwater type stuff i think that's i i used to swim when i was growing up i think stuff like that is really good not just from the obviously the lungs perspective but just the confidence because i think for a lot of people the biggest problem with swimming is they don't know how to breathe or they don't have confidence they can breathe when their face is underwater yeah or breathing when you get tired and you swallow some water yeah that's a that's definitely a factor too more so in open water but i can't swim open water around here this time of year everything strows over for the most part you're in iowa

um why two days in a row of the swimming training why not spread it out a little bit sometimes i go on thursdays but uh saturdays and sundays usually when i have most the most time to drive to town because it's an hour. How much total time do you need if you're going to go swim from leaving your house to getting back to your house? It's about a 25-minute drive to get to the rec center and then usually around 40 to 60 minutes of swimming actual training. Then I'll hit to shower and drive back

so i need like at least what is that two hours yeah it's hard to find that during the week yeah it's a huge commitment i mean if you want to go in the work in the gym and do a wall ball rolling interval you can probably get in and out of there in 30 minutes you know but you got to go to this pool and you have to you have to like set aside a significant amount of time what did you say to get swimming and echo training what's that did i say that no no no i thought colton said that he said it's 25 minutes to get to the rec center to do and i thought he said echo and swim training is that what you said or what did you say you said some word no no is that all you do with the recs then you just swim i'll start there i get i buy my day pass and i go swim when i leave and how much is that seven bucks but um i'm gonna

get a membership now because it'll be a little bit cheaper i was waiting until i got my new business cards like right on there and then and then oh like when you say your new business cards you mean like uh credit cards yeah so just easier to write off and can you get there and in all the lanes be taken it's usually pretty open there might be one other person in there but most of the time it's just me so you've never driven okay so you've never driven there to train i mean and i bring these details up because there's some crossfit games athletes to where like their shit is just like all set right they know that every day they'll be in lane three they know that they're going to train it like their shit is just perfect and there's a lot of shit that you do like train next to labrador labradors in your shed and a doghouse covered in shit and you go to a rec

center for a pool and some people have chris henshaw in their ear when they swim laps via zoom and you're buying the fucking ragtag 30 a month version that like that like brian has so it's just it's just interesting you're you're you're um you're no catrons david's doter colton martin's you're no catrons david's doter colton martin's now when i when i first my very first Friday training at home when i come home for a christmas break and stuff from school um so i just had that old barbell and cast iron plates and i went to a spot uh kind of backed on my my dad's campground there's a red shed and there's a dirt dirt floor inside of the shed and that i did a lot of like light marble cycling and trail running i did murph a lot and um i had a pipe

that i nailed to a tree to get my pull-ups on and that's just kind of how i had to start yeah like who says that i did murph a lot like, I've done Murph twice in my life. Like, I know that you did Murph. You don't know how many times you've done Murph, huh? No. It's just fucking weird. Not that you don't know. It's weird the different caliber of humans there are on the planet.

You're in a whole fucking different world. Colton, have you ever brought any equipment with you to the rec center to swim and pair with anything else? Slam balls. I've done slam balls before. Because they did it at the games that one year? I don't know if they would let me bring my echo bike in.

Maybe a dumbbell or something like that you could just put in your bag. Yeah. How tall um you know maybe a dumbbell or something like that you could just put in your bag yeah so so um how tall was betty gerard ricky's brother i think he was short i remember interviewing him i think he may have been shorter than me yeah he's probably i would guess he's between five three and five six like and and i had a question on here is your girlfriend still an asset it sounds like she is as long as she can. If you start beating her at swimming, does her value go down? No, I wouldn't have her around if she was a problem for me. Wow. Wow.

lifestyle was and kind of the things I need to do day to day. And she was, I never really asked her to be okay with it. She, it's just what she wanted. And she really likes CrossFit too. And she wants to compete as well. So it matches really well. Like she doesn't act like she's not wanting to go out and party during the week on weekends while I need to get to bed early. She's not wanting to drink all the time when I need to kind of just get my dinner and get my recovery work done and go to bed. She's, she's helps me out with a lot of stuff and you know we just bought uh a nice video camera so I could take better pictures and videos for sponsors and stuff and kind of have a nicer Instagram and she's going to help me a lot with that with uh recording content and editing stuff and things like that so yeah she helps me a ton um do you guys uh um

reflect on it doesn't sound like do you guys reflect on your relationship by that i mean and i don't mean that in a positive way i was telling the story the other day about like uh like girlfriends or boyfriends who will complain to their mate we don't they we don't spend enough time together and they use their time together to complain that they don't spend enough time together and i'm always like what like this is how you want to use the time she doesn't do any of that shit oh so i love you um let's get to work yeah so like right now she works full-time at Hy-Vee. What's Hy-Vee? It's like a Walmart. Okay.

A nicer Walmart. Okay. Yeah, so sometimes she works the days, sometimes she works the evenings. So if she works evenings, I don't really see her much because I'll go to the farm in the morning, then I'll train and she'll be at work. But when she works mornings, we usually train together in the morning then i'll train and she'll be at work but when she works mornings we usually train together in the evening but uh yeah when we are together we spend our time pretty well usually we're training or cooking dinner together and doing recovery work and things like that he don't he don't isn't it interesting waters of oblivion he don't even give a fuck like yeah my chick works at walmart i fucking flip pigs for a fucking living.

Holy shit, someone gave $99. Do I have to share that? Thank you, Gabriela. Mal donado. Gabriela. Gabriel. Gabriel. It could be Gabriel.

Oh, I want it to be a girl so bad. I think there's only one girl who's giving money on the podcast so far and it's very specific why she gave it in case you want to pull that up again Bolton is my spirit animal how dare you yeah it's

man you're singularly focused man still it's so good to see that yeah Ally and I are so right now she's working at ivy but we have a plan once i get the house built i'm gonna build a shed and we're gonna start raising some some dachshunds some corgis and some bastard hounds and we're gonna start kind of getting into that lane and i'm kind of working it out on a spreadsheet to kind of estimate how many puppies we need to sell a year so that she can replace her income with my V. So then she'll kind of do that full time and help me with CrossFit.

So that's kind of the plan for the next one to two years. Why those three dogs? It's interesting that you asked. It's because they all have short arms and long torsos like me. Wow. Is that really it? It's kind of the Colton Mertens line of – wow. Hey, you got to get one of those Corkys over to Jacob Heppner and have him endorse it. He's like a Corky nut.

Have you seen his dog? Corky. Whatever. It's a fucking German shepherd with no legs, that's basically what those are wow uh and uh and so so what were the three corgi dogs dotson doxon and basset hound basset hound wow hey some there's gonna be some great stories out of there like litter's gone bad like your your your basset hound fucked your dachshund and it's gonna just be a mess that's what might be kind of cute puppies say that again those puppies might be kind of cute yeah for sure hey um i i the pig farm must be just on like when it rains there and it rains like for like a week, your job must just go from like a 10 living the dream to like a negative 10, right?

It just must be – like do you lose shoes and clothes and like – I just picture you like stepping out of your pickup truck and just sinking into like pig shit that's like four feet deep. No, the pigs are in a barn, so they have a climate controlled environment so like right now we have they have heaters going in there so they don't freeze yeah can't you just see him like just stepping like look at that pig on the right there yeah yeah susan like i just see him like what like on a rainy day walking over and like he has a snorkel in just in case he sinks down past his head so he can breathe out from the mud. No, it's not like that? No, that's more of a pasture pig farm, which is something that I'd like to do in the future. But that's kind of a different setup than what we have.

Wow. Look, that pig farm has a slide for the pigs. If you build something like that, pigs will actually use it? I'm not sure if pigs actually use that or not they definitely like to play in water and mud holes and things like that but um it's actually really destructive if you have them in a pasture you kind of have to have a system to where you move them around you don't get in the same spot for too long because they'll just ruin the soil and tear it up and nothing will grow there anymore like they'll piss and shit it to death no they're just like they'll just ruin the soil and tear it up and nothing will grow there anymore. Like they'll piss and shit it to death.

No, they'll root it up and they'll dig holes with their snouts and things like that and then they'll pack it down and it'll just make it hard for anything to grow but weeds. So we'll kind of have them on a rotation. And depending on how much it rains like it rains a lot you can move them more often because they'll uh disturb the soil more but if you keep moving them then they actually is really good for the soil because they'll leave organic matter and restore it up a little bit so you help encourage new growth things like that wow susan can you post Scott Polanski's comment please this is my friend

I just wanted to oh yeah yeah yeah I know you guys only watch the show when Brian's on it you can eat a dick Scott hey I'm only on the show because he went out of town otherwise I'd probably be disc golfing with him Scott you're a good dude competing for Brian's love

who Brian who are we need someone I'd probably be disc golfing with him. Scott, you're a good dude. Competing for Brian's love. Brian, we need someone. I reached out to Chase today to see if I could have Chase help me out with Waterpalooza. We need someone to help us out. Chase Ingram? Yeah. I think he's already working the event. I need someone who, like you're working the event.

Suze is going to go to Waterpalooza and be there. But with a camera and trying to grab interviews of people running on and off the field and film us and give us a camera angle that no one else has. But I need one more. I need someone who will go there and who's cool. They can't be a douche. How much CrossFit knowledge do they need to have? Uh, I don't think that they need a lot of CrossFit knowledge. They just can't be a douche. They just can't, they, they have to, well, they kind of have to be a douche.

Like if Colton does an event and they see him run in and trip over the bar, they have to like be able to walk up to him and nicely say, Hey Colton, can I talk to you real quick? And then he goes, yeah, if you walk with me. And as he's walking, they walk and are holding the camera and be like dude you tripped over that bar are you okay and like like that that kind of person they need to give they need to add value to the show that um that no one else is going to get in real time live we're going to use stream yard we're going to try something new that's it's basically live behind the scenes. Wouldn't you say, Sousa, that's what it is? Yep, that's what we're going to do.

Okay, get back to your hole. I miss those behind the scenes. Say it again? I miss those behind the scenes. I used to watch those when I was first getting into the sport. You're a good dude. Yeah, I think you're the only one. I don't think really anyone liked them at all.

That's why we're attracted to each other. Who can I get to do that, Sousa? Do you know anyone? I was expecting at least one comment of someone in the comments to say, like, well, I'll be there or something, but no. Hey, listen, Harry, you know what's crazy? If I pull this off at Wadapalooza, first of all, in the most humble way I can say, we fucking owned Dubai.

We took over. We provided. We just kicked ass, and we did it on accident, the same way that Colton accidentally backsquatted set his pr by 30 pounds he just is honestly the same way that happened at the games what tell me oh yes yes we didn't plan that before we it just happened yes so when we when we go to waterpalooza and we add so much fucking value for the spectators and the athletes combined um dave castro is going to come a knocking and he's gonna come to know where to go he knows where to find you he knows where to go because he used to bring meat over here when i was fucking starving he just he'd shoot a pig and bring meat

to my poor ass family since we both got fired my wife and i got fired on the same day you fucking idiots he's a he's a good dude yeah he's a good dude and you idiots make fun talk shit to him on his instagram for killing pigs. Meanwhile, he's feeding my family. Fuck you guys. But so he's going to come and knock and he's going to say, hey, can you do the live feed? If you don't make it to the games, would you want to do that? Sorry, Colton.

I shouldn't even say that. I jinxed you like that. Never mind. Scratch that comment. No, I don't want to do that. You know, I asked Lazar. I asked Lazar if he would help commentate Wadapalooza for the Sevan podcast. His brother is going, correct?

Yeah. Lazar said yes, he'd do it. He'll be in Europe, so it could be tough depending on the timing. He said, yeah, he said he'll be in Serbia or France, but he acted like in the WhatsApp. I don't know what you call that. The WhatsApp chat I'm in with him that he don't give abia or france but he acted like um in the in the in the whatsapp i don't know what you call that the whatsapp chat i'm in with him that he don't give a fuck he'll do it it might be it might be like more you know there might be some some events i don't know how their schedule is if they have some morning events that might be great time to have him on but if there's some evening events i mean we should let him sleep he's also training not quiet quiet, quiet, Brian. No, he's so nice to the athletes. It's, it's disgusting.

We have an agenda. We know what's better for them. We're trying to bring them to the people. So, so basically I know Dave's going to ask me to do that at the games and then, and then my mission will be complete. If we, if we do it right at Wadapalooza and, and I need to make the Liver King proud too. Ancestral supplements. No, I can't go. If we get asked to go to the games, I will go. Yeah, John Young.

John Young will be part of the team. See, Brian's already working for Wadapalooza, so I can't be like, thanks, O'Keefe, for giving me access to Wadapalooza and then try to take Brian from him. So it's a mess. It's a a mess we might be able to work it's something i will see i need to talk to o'keefe and be like hey um colton can you take me through um you like your schedule from monday to sunday i part of me wants you to do it fast but i don't want you to miss the details like your schedule from Monday to Sunday.

Part of me wants you to do it fast, but I don't want you to miss the details. I think it's fascinating for people to hear your schedule. We have to load pigs usually a few days a week. That's always kind of different depending on when we can get in with the schedule. What's that mean, load pigs? That means we'll take the semi and the trigger, back it up to a barn and load up some pigs to take to market. And do you actually touch the pigs or like you lower a ramp and they run in?

No. So we have to go into the barn and we take these plastic sorting boards and we will kind of corral the biggest pigs and let the smallest ones back behind us. And then we had to chase them out of the barn and then onto the trailer. Okay. And, uh, yeah, kind of like that, that red board there. Yeah. Oh yeah. I've seen those in that show Yellowstone. They do that with cows too, right?

Okay. Yep. Yeah. So we have to do that usually a couple or a few times a week and um so if we had to do that then sometimes I have to be able to four so um I'll get up and I usually make a protein shake and a carb shake and I'll kind of take that with me and sip on that throughout the morning get pigs loaded then I'll work on doing chores so I'll go to each barn and uh walk through and make morning, get pigs loaded. Then I work on doing chores. So I'll go to each barn and walk through and make sure all the pigs are doing okay. None of them are sick or hurt their legs or anything.

Make sure they all got feed. And you're sipping your protein shake as you do this? Not in the barns usually, no. Okay. But you are listening to the Sevan podcast? Occasionally. Okay. And, yeah, kind of go through chores.

And then, if there's any repairs that need done or anything like that, I'll take care of that. I'll take care of the sick pigs, kind of the odd-end stuff. And usually, ideally, I'd be done around 11 to 1 o'clock. I'll come home, usually eat some oatmeal, oatmeal some creepy yogurt make a pre-workout with some swolverine creatine and beta-alanine and then walk out to the garage after a shower couldn't train until five or six and i'll hop in the shower to the cold shower and then make my pork chops potatoes get all my food in and then go downstairs i'll eat and then hit some paragon recovery work uh those compression boots from

gomatech i do some of those and it's stretching are you just saying that because they're your sponsor you have to say that no they don't sponsor me okay all that shit okay oh dang you know you're not the only a swolverine athlete that will be in miami so so colton so after one o'clock you're done you don't go back out to the pigs again uh sometimes i will if i have to check on something if there's a sick pig i want to go check on things like that but usually i've cried i can be done for some reason i thought that that some night but the last time we talked to you there'd be some nights where you'd be working out like at 10 11 o'clock at night because you've been working all day those those days are over now so it just depends like if we're hauling manure

or if we're planting or harvesting or spraying crops, then I have to be at the farm a lot longer. Or if we have a barn where we have a lot of pigs that aren't doing well, they're kind of small, then I have to sort out all the small ones. And that can take a while. Or if we have a feed system that's broken and I have to spend a few hours fixing that, or if I have to make some gates, then I'll be there for a lot longer. I was fixing that or if I had to make some gates, then I'll be there for a lot longer.

But nowadays I normally try and get done as close to noon as I can so I can get to training. And then what time do you go to bed now? Ideally, I'll be in bed at 8.30 or 9. Oh, okay. So if you're in bed by 9, then that would give you – you can almost get seven hours sleep. Yeah, and we have to load pigs, but if I don't have to load pigs, then I can wait until five 30 or six to get up.

Oh, what other Wolverine athletes will be there, Brian? A lot of them are competing on, on the teams. I just didn't realize how many athletes in CrossFit they have. They're like, a lot of the athletes that they sponsor that i'm seeing here at least are um they don't have a lot of games experience necessarily but they're like been around the regional circuit or in the or pretty prevalent in the team game for a couple years can i see that that let me see go up to the top let me see that lady's body who's wearing that green thing. Jeez.

I could never wear a shirt that tight. It would just be like stuck right around my, my fucking gun. I think that's fucked up. I don't know. Maybe it's not her, man. I would love it. If I had a shirt that fit like that,

I can't wear any of the CrossFit. I can't. What? If you need to get some Wolverine shirts, I can't, I know I are those. I can't wear any, the CrossFit. I can't. What? Maybe you need to get some Wolverine shirts. No, I can't wear anything that fits like that. See, like, right where her elbows are? Like, I have these rolls there. They're called, like, muffins or muffin top or something.

And, like, any shirt that the CrossFit community makes just makes me look like I'm, like, I'm holding, like, I'm a girl who's having her period and holding like water weight in my fupa it's just it's just fucked up it's just it's a fucking mess or i body dysmorphia maybe or something i don't know something but i like a shirt that like hangs off my shoulders and off my titties and then like and therefore it like doesn't touch my waist that way no one can see my waist I don't want anyone to see my waist. That's where I store winter's food. That is correct, Will. I do not leave my kingdom unless Greg calls in the Air Force.

Colton, Merry Christmas. What are you going to do now when you get off? I'm going to hit some training and then I'm going to go and hang out with Allie's mom and her grandparents right you said and will they get you will they get you presents I think so

yeah will it all be like crossfit shit will it all be like training stuff like grippers and like headbands and like just no I think it'll probably be like something to use for the house. We're going to build this spring, like a lamp or a clock or like some wooden spoons for your kitchen or some

shit like that. Possibly. Yeah. And, and, and when you build this house, Allie moves in with you. She's already been with me in my dad's basement right now.

Oh yeah. In the garage. Yeah. We live in the basement training, the garage. Sorry. We live in the basement training the garage. Right. Sorry. My bad. Seven. Good listener. Um, Brian, is there anything else, um, that you have for Mr. Mertens? You don't want to know what, uh, what I'm doing today? Oh, I do. Sorry. What are you doing? I know what you're doing today.

You're going to play. I know what you're doing today. Yes, but no, my buddy Scott got me a speaker, a Bluetooth speaker to play on the disc. I can listen to music on the disc, of course, since he's not going to be there. So I feel like I'll have some company. Won't the people hate you that are on the court playing? There's no one on that course. I wanted to ask you guys. I got the film camera for the film training and stuff for Instagram. What kind of mics would you guys recommend? What kind of camera did you get? It's a Fujifilm X-S10.

I think it's an 18-55mm lens for it. This is Sevan's domain. Fuji, say it again. Fujifilm X-S10. Sevan, our. Fuji, say it again. Fuji Film. X-10. Sevan, our number one fan made a comment. Oh, yes. Merry Christmas, Rosemary.

Hi, Mom. So here's the thing with cameras. Are you going to edit in post-production, or are you just going to be a phone guy? No, I'm going to edit it. Is it too late to return that camera? It's that one right there. I don't know. Is that another good one?

No, no, no. It's a good camera. Everyone makes such fucking great cameras today so if if you're going to um the new iphone is so fucking amazing it's crazy it has something called cinematic mode it has you don't you don't do it do you do iphone no are you a droid guy no i have an iphone 8 so it doesn't take pictures oh jesus uh so like if I were only to invest in one camera and I were you, I would get the iPhone and I would film everything with that and upload it to your computer and edit with that. It's so fucking good and it can be fucking everywhere. And then – but it's called – let me see. Bring up that Fuji X10 digital camera.

That's what it's called. XS10, yeah. Like a thousand bucks. XS. That's what it's called. XS 10. Yeah. Like a thousand bucks. X S. Yeah. Will you pull that up? Yeah. Click that,

that Adorama link. I'll show you exactly what Mike to get for it. Yeah. I love this stuff. Oh, I may even have one of those months. I may even have that camera here and uh and and click on the pictures of it and scroll around i just want to see if there's a

port to plug a mic into have you seen that colton that there's a port oh yeah click that one the side view on the left side yep right there yeah so uh is that it up top yeah or is that for headphones let me see the very top that might be for headphones um on top of the camera where it looks like you can get my mic okay let me see oh there it is that is it see how it says mic see that rubber thing they've pulled it off that is the mic yeah okay So there is this mic and it's tiny Sennheiser mini mic. A lot of, a lot of guys in the game are using the, um, are using the, uh, road road stuff. I personally like, uh, pro audio. I personally don Pro Audio. I personally don't. That's not the one I would use. Sennheiser.

The phone screen is just. Oh, let me see. There it is. Sennheiser. I'm going to show you. Hold on. It's like a $200 mic. All right. Sennheiser I'm going to show you hold on it's like a $200 mic right

and it plugs in there damn hold on are you in a hurry no he actually just agreed to do this with us for an hour and 20 minutes just to get this question out

it's like I'm going to find out what let's see this with us for an hour and 20 minutes just to get this question up. I'm going to find out what... Hey, you know what I'm really happy about is that the guy that said he hates it when I Google on the show, I'm really stoked that it's pissing him off. 56 mics to choose from.

Can you help me find it too, Sousa? It's a little tiny $200 Sennheiser mic. I have so many of them. I could probably lean back faster into my pile of shit and uh it's tiny it plugs into one of those little ports quarter inch port damn it's a good mic and i've used it forever oh here we go here we go here we go here we go is that nope fuck

I thought I had it anyway I'll send you a link to it I can't find it hold on one second hey Brian is Taylor's self going to Waterflusa oh here it is

look at he is so many of them here it is I can't I'm excited back and there it is it's called a

Sennheiser MKE 400 and it comes with a little foam screen and it takes a little tiny battery and this thing just plugs into your camera nice and it's fucking bomb proof it just takes uh this is gonna blow you away it takes a triple a battery that lasts 300 hours. A cheap fuck like yourself is going to love this. This is the kind of bad – like you leave this mic on overnight, and it's not a big deal. Sorry, frugal.

Did I say cheap? I meant frugal. Yeah, I'm frugal, Siobhan. I'm not cheap. I know that you spend a fortune on hair products. Prioritize. Can you see that? Let's see is it will focus on that mke 400

awesome yeah tax write-off yes yep uh tony has a question even though he didn't donate any money are you afraid of spiders no i'm not afraid of spiders there's a lot of spiders that live in the basement with me is there yep there it is bam hey is there anything that's happened at the farm since the last time we talked to you like someone had their hand chopped off or you saw the largest snake you've ever seen or two cows got stuck fucking and is there anything like eventful that like like a cool farm story you could share you could leave us with on this christmas day well uh last week when we were loading pigs um there's one pig it's just fucking out of his mind and he like charged me and

um i kind of put my knees together making the day He would deter me to turn around. Usually they turn around. But he kept going and he ran into my legs and flipped me up over top of him. I fell face first onto the pig shit. And then the day before, the day after that, there was another pig. It was going wild.

And he ran up from behind me and ran between my legs and picked me up on his back and he was running around me up on his back. And he was running around with me on his back for a little bit. And so I get off. Do people witness this besides you? My dad, yeah.

He was laughing at me. Holy shit. That's awesome. Hey, do you watch any rodeo? No. Because on Monday. figure out of mind do you watch any rodeo no because on monday yeah you have to fucking see this you have to see this that i hope this doesn't get pulled off the video on monday this guy's coming on the show and he is a um let's see what the fuck's going He's a – I want to say he's a 12-time bullfighting champion. He's not the guy on the bull. He's that guy.

Number 909 or whatever. Yeah. Dusty Tuckness. And huge CrossFit Games fan. Huge, enormous CrossFit fan. Big Instagram following this guy's got. And he is a special special breed his athleticism is nuts and what he's willing to do is nuts so what is his goal there he's trying

to he's trying to protect the cowboy from the bull yes protect the cowboy that is his job description at all cost it's he's supposed to get hurt before the cowboy and and you see him do some like shit that's like uh later on look at the later on down here in the video they show him run full speed at a bull and jump over it like like on the reg i mean that's some athleticism right there wasn't that smooth yeah he's a savage look at that he's a savage there's even some footage in here of him doing a backflip over one of these bulls it's charging towards towards him and he backflips it that that job has a lot of injuries yeah i bet so yeah he got a lot of broken bones and like bad shit happened to him yeah that's a tough job but uh yeah he he's he's a legend in the sport i can't believe

dave turned me on to him dave's like hey do you know this guy dusty cuckness and i said no damn my mustache is getting crazy well thank you for coming on colton it takes a special man to come on the seven on podcast uh on christmas day yeah i appreciate it um for all of you that donated generously to the show i appreciate it uh gabriel super kind of you and heidi uh heidi thank you heidi uh wad zombie i gabriel i know times are tough in Brazil. And for you, that's like a year's salary. I cannot fucking believe you gave that.

Thank you. Don't you think that guy's from Brazil? Gabriel? I don't think either Colton and I are prepared to make that presupposition. Fine. All right, guys. Thank you so much. I can talk to you guys again.

We'll see you in the morning colton keep listening keep chiming in it validates uh my existence all right i'll think about it i guess i'm bad tell your dad hi