The Sevan Podcast - #306 - Hans Kim

Episode Date: February 19, 2022

Hans Kim is a comedian from Austin, Texas. He is 32 years old and has been doing comedy for 9 years now in several different cities. He is a regular on the "Kill Tony" show, which airs live on YouTube and has opened for Joe Rogan.  https://thesevanpodcast.com/ https://www.paperstcoffee.com/shop https://www.barbelljobs.com/ "The Sevan Podcast" T-Shirts https://asrx.com/collections/the-real-sevan-podcast-collection Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/therealsevanpodcast/ Support the show Partners: https://cahormones.com/ - CODE "SEVAN" FOR FREE CONSULTATION https://www.paperstcoffee.com/ - THE COFFEE I DRINK! https://asrx.com/collections/the-real... - OUR TSHIRTS ... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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His cadence is hilarious. It's incredible. The way he speaks, it's great. I went back and listened to some of his other stuff, and he was so different. Like his old stuff? Yeah. I went to like his early instagram i think you know instagram at some point starts telling you how many weeks back you are and it said like 433

weeks yeah and i was and i was like wow this he has really um changed i wonder if we can find a clip while we wait for him um some of his i mean he has so much funny stuff let me see what this is bitch and just like women but you can't get on tv and say shit and just that's that one's good that one's good that one's good i well we had bill dawes on who was a comic do you remember him redheaded dude buff jujitsu and then we had um tyler fisher on he was a comedian he does a lot of like the the jab humor remember him from new york no it might have been before my time yeah and what's crazy is is that these um they were they're not funny podcasts yeah they're not funny i remember the bill dos one it's not funny it's like i think Bill Doss one. It's not funny.

It's like, I think in that one, he was saying, like, that we got into the subject of abortions. He's like, who cares if babies die? I'm like, oh, I don't know. That's even a little hard for me to, like, explore. Oh, I remember that part. That's where I went running for the hills. I'm like, okay, okay, okay.

Here, here. Let's play this. I'm going to send you this link in the private chat. This is good. This is some pretty funny shit. I think maybe the reason why I like Hans Kim so much too is that the racism stuff just is right up my alley. I don't know if his total views on racism. I think he's still pretty far left um but uh

did i send that to you did i put the link in the right place logan mars is on okay let's see if we can hear this i don't hear it do you hear it hmm i'll try again all right where you been will how come it's been so long since you've been on the show did i say something upset you or something super mad ah what the fuck is going on here now no can you hans kim of course i can hear it he does fuck oh can't hear it can you guys hear i can solve it immediately i know okay this time it'll work so here look at this notification i

just got streamyard has lost access to your facebook yeah of course you have because i fucking went to facebook to find out what was going on and you know what they said to me they want a picture of my driver's license to prove my age how about you go fuck yourself i don't even do facebook by the way those of you in the dms if you send me links to facebook or to um tiktok i don't go to those platforms for no other nothing like personal against them i just don't i i have enough going on with instagram okay here we go and not hero they can look up to. And not just someone like Martin Luther King Jr.

Oh, wait, you got to start. Can we start over? Can we refresh it? It's been a while. Panther movie because it gave black children a hero they can look up to. And not just someone like Martin Luther King Jr., Malcolm X, or Harriet Tub, Arthur Marshall, George R. R. Carpenter, Maya Angelou, Rosa Parks, Nelson Mandela, Kofi Nye, Lawrence Fishburne, Will Smith, Jackie Robinson, Muhammad Ali.

Now there's a fake person that dresses like a cat. Like, people who are racist don't even realize how racist they really are. Like this one guy comes up to me and he just starts going like, I was like dude, just because I look like this, it doesn't mean I speak your goof language. And the post office is right there. But I was on an airplane and I saw a dude reading a book in Arabic, which kind of freaked me out. But then I saw him pull the corner of the page and put the book away. And I was like, oh, thank God.

He's got future plans. My favorite movie is The Black Knight. Okay, I'm texting Hans right now. Hans. Hi. Would you like to join us? 2 p.m. Pacific Standard Time. That's California, Baja California, Washington, Portland.

I don't know. I guess some part of Canada. We have the Pacific Ocean rub up against us. I live about three miles as the crow flies from the Pacific Ocean. pacific ocean rub up against us i live about three miles as the crow flies from the pacific ocean i've come inside met will branister on some software called stream yard that runs on chrome and matt souza has invited hans kim a couple weeks ago to join us to do this meeting which is often referred to in the vernacular as podcast in 2022 holy shit it's 2022 and uh and here we are hey i watched a video saying that uh facebook's fucked

really that the metaverse has no chance of making it well this you're gonna like this and i actually thought of you when i heard it um uh they're basically saying that there already is a metaverse and it's gaming and the king of gaming by far no fucking second place not sony not activision nobody the king of the metaverse right now is the king of gaming and that is microsoft that's correct and that basically they just bought activision for 68 billion and i don't know why you think i would like that i have no relation to microsoft you don't zero i thought you worked there no whoa no i don't work for microsoft are you kidding no i seriously thought that no Oh, shit. We're just running for the hills.

Oh, my goodness, Will. You were fucking me. I'm like, oh, fuck. Am I fucking up right now? Am I fucking up? They acquired Activision? Oh, wow. First I've heard of that.

And it makes total sense. It makes total sense. You go into the movie theater to see the movie, but you but you buy popcorn and all that other shit while you're there and and and i that's the same thing you go into the metaverse to play a game to do something right and and who already has that metaverse and and didn't microsoft also purchase um fortnight uh no not fortnight what's the what's the one oh yeah mindscape mine mindscape minecraft minecraft boy that game minecraft i've seen kids play that that seems like some crazy 1970s throwback shit that's just crazy

but but they but i did this video i was watching said 140 million unique people get on that every single day and play around in that world with the blocks and shit. That's great. I mean, I used to play when I was in like maybe 13, 14. That was my first entrepreneurial venture was inside of Minecraft. Why? What can you do in there? What do you mean?

I used to take contracts for people. I used to take contracts for people. I had a group of guys and we would build inside of Minecraft, like just cool sets or whatever. And we'd sell them to servers that would people were playing on. And so they'd pay us to build for them. Like we are like a construction service, but virtual. So yeah,

the metaverse has been around. That idea has been around for so long because I was a part of it as a 13 year old, I was making money off people. Explain to me Minecraft a second. Oh, he said one second. No problem. No problem.

You are. I shouldn't say you are the star. He might not have a sense of humor. Explain to me Minecraft then real quick. Like, give me the idea before Hans comes on here. What is it in general you can go on there's like you can play by yourself and it's like you're surviving in the wilderness you can build houses and you're killing animals cooking food making armor that

kind of thing and then you can also play multiplayer and you can code different game modes so like you're playing hide and seek with people or you're playing games that we know in real life converted to virtual. And then people, like they did for Fortnite, how they would buy skins or whatever to make their characters look different. People purchase packages from people and make money that way inside the game.

And it's massive. Yeah, it's like its own economy. It's like a sport starts up and all in with it's like you know a sport starts up and all these different companies spring up from that sport and start making money it's that same way even if it's bullshit shit like um like those stickers people put on themselves in crossfit yeah exactly the tape stuff yep wow wow yeah so me and my older brother we did that for a couple years um and and what's the currency in Minecraft? Is it you just got to get your parents' credit card?

It's nothing inside of it. It's all external, like you. But yes, parents' credit card for sure. We definitely made money off of people using their parents' credit card without parental consent, I would assume. So it's on the honor system? Someone would be like, hey, I want to buy this from you, and you'd be like, okay, here it is.

Yep. You would create a website and they go in and they purchase it through some e-shopping software you've installed on your website. And then that's automatically linked to give them some perks inside of Minecraft. And then you give them your code and now it's theirs and then they change it. And so then they own it and you can't get it back. Yeah. Like that? Kind of. Wow. Kind of like if I wanted to give you like my bank account i could be like here's my

atm card here's my pin well i guess you would need my id but yeah wow that's really that's and and that's that's how basically i'm guessing um bitcoin works too and the whole blockchain and nfts it's just all just digital fucking passwords and codes and okay now this digital picture is yours here's the code and then i give it to you yeah it sounds you have some more surety though with that kind of stuff it's actually like the blockchain you're what you're purchasing is actually tied to something real quote unquote real that's your number in the blockchain whereas if you were on minecraft you're just kind of it's a promise or obligation that you're purchasing. It's not an actual, something tangible that you can say, I purchased this number on the blockchain.

It's now mine. Yeah. Tommy Rodriguez, 7-on-1 is big news going to break. I thought you had a big CF news story come out. I did. I broke it this morning. Huge. Go back and listen to the whole entire show from this morning.

No. Yeah. It's, it's, I just, I just, it's morning. Huge. Go back and listen to the whole entire show from this morning. No. Yeah, it's it's I just I just it's just clickbait. It's just nonsense coming just pouring out of my mouth. I didn't know what I was talking about. It's coming. It's coming. I appreciate you reminding me. I suspect I suspect it's coming. We just need to just just we have to be patient. I think I did say I think this week i'm hoping this week um but there's tons of fun stuff going on there's tons of fun stuff in the meantime i'm consume as many of my podcasts as you can um even when you can't watch them just play them on your youtube just hit play and walk away um as unethical as that would be mr kim. Kim. Hi, sorry I'm late.

It's not an issue. The world is perfect for us. I was on central time. Oh, oh shit. So you're not even expecting to do this. I was earlier, but yeah, I'm ready now. I did a couple errands. But yeah, I got confused on the timing of it all.

I apologize. Hans, we have a crazy audio issue. Is it buzzing? You sound like Megatron. Like you're going to turn into a transformer and start shooting me. Let's see. It's like a... Maybe, let's see if the listeners listeners hear it do you guys hear it does han sound like he's um has the transformer sound effect on his voice to you guys

hello is this oh much better yeah okay well it's it's weird is it for me it's for me you sound weird now oh do i sound weird to you guys now, Jared Cordell? Hello, hello. You mean like it's stuttering, like a grrrr, like that? Yeah, yeah. Are you using that mic as your option? Yeah. So I sound fine right now?

You do, and I think people say I sound fine right now. Yeah, you sound fine now. I just can't use my headphones to listen to you. Okay, do you want to take them off? Or you can keep them on for aesthetic. Yeah, I like listening to myself. So how do you... It makes me feel like it's...

Like you're professional? Yeah. Hey, so can you hear me yeah great 305 shows in and i still haven't figured out all the technical difficulties what's this background behind you this is a bachelor's apartment yeah i just moved in here i got a bunch of furniture actually in my van right now. I'm waiting to move it in. But for now, everything is just scattered all over the place. What are you waiting for, like a friend to help you? I actually just got everything in the van, so I just need to move it in. But yeah, a friend to help would be nice. This blue pillow that's adjacent to you, I think you might have a purple one too.

I've seen it in some of your videos. Could you explain that to me? This is a neck pillow. I injured my neck doing jujitsu. I have a herniated disc. There's like a little liquid that's pressing on a nerve. So if I'm standing up for a long period of time, this kind of separates everything and lets my neck rest. Wow. And is it effective, you think?

Yeah, it helps me with the pain. And that black thing, is that like a pump that you pump it up with? Yeah. Wow. Oh, man, there's so many questions. And you still have the tag on it so you can take it back when you're done. I just haven't gotten around to taking it off. It's from Amazon. I had no idea you did jiu-jitsu. I scoured your Instagram. I didn't see any Hans Kim rolling around. Yeah, I had to quit because of the neck thing. I think it's – I wish I could do it.

But, yeah, I think my neck is preventing me. I don't want to injure it further. How old are you? 32. Oh, you're still so young. You can wear that when you're on stage even. Yeah. It's a little distracting.

I don't know. Your job – I mean, your job, you can say racist shit and you could wear a fucking neck pillow. I mean, your job is like, there's no rules. Like, if you should have to kill Tony on that, they're not going to be like, hey, you can't come back. Right. They're going to be like, oh, look at Hans. Yeah. I just have to find a way to make it funny.

It's funny. I'd like to, yeah, have some control. Yeah, not just like looking like an idiot, but like, I don't know, maybe I could make a concerted effort to, you know, work it into the show. Where were you born, Hans? New Brunswick, New Jersey. And how do you want to—I'm making the presupposition that you want to be funny. When does it happen to you—at what point in your life does it happen that you want to be funny? Probably when I'm in school and I find a lot of injustices that I would like to poke fun at or just to like get attention and just sort of critique the overall structure of what we're doing. It's like why are

we doing it this way? What if we did it that way? That's where I think my class clowning days come from. And would you do them out loud loud like a teacher would say something and then you would like raise your hand and just say something totally absurd or preposterous yeah yeah just trying to break the spell and just like trying to change it up make everything different you didn't um you didn't did you watch any tv when you were young like you weren't um inspired like by tom and jerry or just shit loads of abbott and costello like i watched so much abbott and costello as a kid like saturday for like six hours straight on one of the tv stations and i thought man i would love to be abbott yeah i uh didn't grow up with that much tv i didn't have a vh player for a while. I was born in 89, so it was a pretty big deal.

Didn't have an N64, didn't have a Nintendo, whatever. My parents didn't want that stuff. So grew up without a lot of that stuff. But then as I grew older, I watched a bunch of stuff. Comedies like Ali G or Nathan For Youathan for you but um yeah i mean i love tom and jerry i think we were allowed to watch that just different things did you watch that stuff for research or you watch you were just watching that stuff and you're like man these guys are funny and then and that kind of just inspired you to think man i could do this yeah it was like an

intellectual thing it's like wow they're really smart they can like find angles and find ways to uh talk about things um so it's just like oh look they have different ways of thinking and i can um think differently and you know like uh have different thoughts and just uh yeah, have really, really awesome thoughts. Hey, Will, could you change his name, his Hans, to, if you don't mind, we have a little bit of censorship on the show, Hans, to at DJ Hans Kim. Let's see. Are you okay with the censorship, Hans? Yeah. Oh, nice.

Magical. That makes more sense. I just don't want, so you don't think I'm a magician. I have this guy in the back helping me. Oh, hey, thank you. Yeah, no problem. Please don't talk to him, Hans. It makes him soft. Please don't talk to him. No, no, no, Will. If you give those guys in the back too much airtime, they start to get full of themselves. You can't. Just trying to show him that he can't actually rub shoulders with a talent like you. Are you a man that confronts your fears? I'm a man that confronts my fears, but I'm absolutely terrified of doing comedy in front of people.

terrified of doing comedy in front of people um yeah i mean i do i do confront my fears like i'm afraid of uh women a lot and then i just go up and talk to them and just like you know just have them reject me um but the stage is not as fearful anymore it's more like anxiety or like, uh, I have to do this. Oh God. Okay. Here I go. But, uh, yeah, I mean, afterwards, like I feel a lot of regret. I'm like, oh shit, they hated me and they didn't like that joke. It's like, maybe I'm not a good of a person. Maybe they've sniffed it out. Um, but, uh, yeah, I mean, I'm not that afraid of the stage anymore there are like certain things that i'm afraid of i guess but i don't uh i don't know i don't really have like too much that i'm afraid of uh that i don't do i guess like bungee or like dying or but yeah i mean um i i i don't really have a lot of things that i'm afraid of i I don't think, besides like talking to people.

Yeah, me too. I don't like that either. Would you say you're socially, what's that called when you have a social anxiety disorder? Like if I'm in the store, I don't really want anyone talking to me. Yeah, I just feel like if I want to talk to people, I can go to a place where people talk to each other. But yeah, I don't want to do it in the grocery store all the time. But yet you'll come on this podcast and talk to a total stranger with a beard and on the West Coast. structured it's like uh you know uh this is like this is what we do is we talk to each other here but like at the grocery store it's like not really made for talking um and it's like i'm very goal oriented so when i'm at the grocery store i'm like oh i'm here to get groceries i don't want to get distracted from my mission objective um let's be honest hans you don't go to the grocery store to get food you

i mean i have to assume if you're like me well i'm married happily married now but you go to the grocery store to um look at the um to you know to look at um you know girls yes ogle poongays poongays as they say in the hood yeah i Yeah, I love the visual treat that is the female gender. You mean female sex? Oh, what's the difference? Gender is in your imagination. Like if I said, what's your sex? You could look in your pants, right?

Yeah. I'm a boy. Gender is like, I don't have a gender because i don't i would never make i don't make stories up and tell myself like i don't believe in santa claus uh-huh and i don't believe in you know what i mean yeah so i know i know no no gender is just made up i mean it's okay to make it up it's perfectly okay i'm not against it but i just don't have a gender. I just have a sex. Yeah, sex is biological. Cock and balls, vagina, possibly both. Yeah.

Gender is like, I think. Like, if I was into gender God, I would say Michael Baryshnikov was the sexiest man alive. I would say that's masculine. Black tights, wife be beater you know what i mean nice mixture of ballet and chicano but but in the united states they think that's gay as shit so like gender is just like my kids think santa claus brings presents that's gender i know the amazon driver brings it that's sex so anyway sorry where, sorry, sorry, sorry. I was just, I just, it's, it's a hangup of mine. It's gender,

this conflation of gender and sex. It's a hang. Yeah. We got to keep it straight or else people will. No pun intended. Yeah. I love the female sex. Um, I love, uh, I love looking. I don't know. Sometimes looking is better than the actual thing, like with their clothes on and the yoga pants.

But yeah, I'm a bit of a pervert. I'm trying to work on it. I think if I have more sex, then I'll be less horny in public. So I'm just trying to get well sexed. I think if I have more sex, then I'll be less horny in public. So I'm just trying to get well sexed. I don't know. I wonder if that's true. Uh, it, um, it's like cotton candy, right? Like you look at cotton candy and then you buy it and you're like, this isn't fucking good. It's a mess. My hands are sticky. I'm not even enjoying it. There's some in my hair. I'm going to get in big trouble comparing beautiful women to cotton candy. But the Whole Foods in Austin, Texas has probably some of the widest variety of,

like, as far as watering holes go, it's got to be one of the greatest places to go ogle women, right? I mean, ogle in the most loving sense. Yeah. Yeah, it's a good mix of, like, Texas, you know, purebreds, white people who have been eating good diets and been inner, you know, fucking each other. The hottest ones fucking each other for generations. It's not just white people, though, is it?

You got everything there, right? You got Puerto Ricans, blacks, Chinese. You got them all. I mean, Austin is pretty white. Oh. Maybe Whole Foods brings out more diversity in Austin. is pretty white oh maybe whole foods brings out more diversity in austin is uh yeah there's not as many mexicans as san antonio not as many black people as houston um but yeah i mean i haven't really been to the whole foods um um usually on sixth street is where i do a lot of the ogling

just on the streets there's a lot of beautiful people walking around. There's a lot of UT students, the healthy young bucks and does. And you look very young, so it's still you're not the creepy old dude. Like, I'm not allowed in those parts of town. Yeah. I mean, if you shaved your beard, I think you could. And cut your hair. Great.

And put a mask. Just to set the pause. Yeah, I mean, I'm 32. Why did you end up coming to Texas? Let's go back to New Jersey. So you're in New Jersey. And where do you go from there? And you lived in a van.

I really like that. I lived in a van also. Nice. I did it in 2018, 17 in New York city, started out there from New Jersey. I moved to when I was seven years old, Seattle from Seattle. I graduated high school, then went to Atlanta for college for four years, then went back to Seattle after I got fired from all my jobs. And then in Seattle, I started comedy. Then I moved to New York for three years. Then I moved back to Seattle for a little bit and then moved to LA for three months. then from la i moved to austin um during the pandemic i moved out in new york during the pandemic um and then did you have any pandemic fear do you have any pandemic fear um well in the beginning in march i did because new york was

going crazy and there was like you know there was like a ship, the Mercy, and they were having a hospital in Central Park. But now, I mean, I've already had COVID. I think I can withstand it. I don't think I'm going to die from it, but I wouldn't want to get it. I didn't enjoy having it. It's just like I would try to avoid it if i could

but uh yeah i mean i'm i'm pretty healthy i look young so maybe covid doesn't affect me as much um yeah yeah i'm not afraid of it for myself oh good um when you moved to seattle at um when your parents moved to seattle there's a lot of chinese people in seattle right seattle uh did your parents go there because family was there no it's uh microsoft my dad got a job at microsoft it was between that and carnegie mellon and pittsburgh so he chose seattle okay brace yourself you ready will work for microsoft no way nope sorry will there you go again trying to fucking talk you guys i why do you guys have to talk to each other it's like goodness it's just okay well we'll try one time all right um so so he goes there for microsoft and then uh and you start your stand up there

are you uh how do you get the the the hootspa to do that um joe rogan and just like disillusionment with any other career path i couldn't really imagine myself doing anything else. So I was like, well, I might as well get good at something I actually want to do with my life instead of just going through the standard and hoping that everything, I get the approval of the economy or whatever, the boss. I just was like, I don't want to do anything else. This is the only thing that

makes sense to me emotionally. So let me, let me just do that. It was like a lack of other options, I think. So when you say Joe Rogan, meaning you heard, you saw some video on YouTube where he was saying, Hey, chase your dream, chase your dream, chase your dream. You hit, you watched it six times in a row and you're like, fuck, I'm going to chase my dream. He put the idea in my head that comedy is a viable option, and that you just have to work hard and get better at it, and then you'll get good at it if you just work hard, and it's a rough meritocracy. Okay, Will, now I need you. I have to be nice to you now, Will.

Will, can you look up that word for me? Meritocracy, please. Thank you, sir. Comedy is a meritocracy. Hans Kim. If it's good, I'll tweet it, even though I don't have a tweeter. A system in which advancement is based on individual ability or achievement. Oh. Okay. You like that, Hansans is that the word you meant to use yeah i think it was good i just didn't like how will had to talk i uh i wish that he did less of that oh i love it when my guests are beaten up i'm poor willie too Okay. Um, so, um, so you, and you saw that in a video. So that's crazy for

you that you saw him on YouTube saying that shit. And then now you open for him on occasion. Yeah. He's, he's my, uh, you know, he's my idol. I'm not my idol, but my role model, uh, my celebrity crush, my, uh, man crush. uh man crush and now you know it was me and that i didn't get any of that you broke up you did you pay your internet uh yeah sorry about that uh but yeah it's's crazy. He's my role model, my man crush. And now we're friends. I think I can say that. And so it's just an amazing experience.

My dreams have come true. Has he been to this apartment that we're looking at? No, no. No, yeah, he doesn't really come visit me. I usually go open for him and then we hang out in that area. But yeah, I mean, we don't really he doesn't really come over and, you know, play play Grand Theft Auto with me. But is that accurate? So you would watch his videos about basically hard work if you put in the grind you can become a comedian but it's a fucking tough road to hoe yeah um yeah he was my inspiration and he definitely was the one that uh you know uh was was the one that i got the idea from and he uh you know set me off on a good path and was like,

hey, just work hard and do your best and all that. Yeah, fuck, that's crazy. Man, is any part of you tripping? Yeah, it's crazy. When I'm talking to him in the green room, sometimes it's like my eyes are playing a trick on me. And it's like sometimes it's like uh my eyes are playing a trick on me and it's like is this a video screen or is this like real life so sometimes it gets a little weird but yeah i mean he's so in the moment that when you're talking to him it's like

hard to not be in the moment yourself as well right and how did you get that gig how do you get the gig for opening for joe rogan so i did kill tony and then it became the regular and then i had sex with a girl okay then let's wait wait wait sorry sorry sorry sorry let's start there then how did you get the kill tony gig tell me about kill tony like i know nothing about it please so uh kill tony is a show where random comedians are picked out of a bucket to do stand-up comedy and then a panel of professional comedians roast the comedian or talk to them and find out more about them and try to make it funny and just poke fun or make fun or laugh with or laugh at the comedian that got picked. with or laugh at the comedian that got picked and i did it a couple times got pulled out of the bucket had a good rapport and then um what tony got canceled for um saying uh uh calling a uh peng dang uh he was uh roasting him after his set and he peng dang put it up online and was like oh look

this is racist and then tony um was thought to be hateful to asian people uh but then he had me uh when he came back from his cancellation he had me singing the national anthem uh before the kill tony so then he was like okay we'll give you a spot next week since you did the national anthem um so then uh i i came back the next week and i did a set and then he said we want to give you the regular spot and i said of course i want to do that and so that that's sort of how i became the regular and then um one time i had sex with a girl in a broom closet and then greg fitzsimmons told that story on the joe rogan podcast and then um and then joe had me open for him the next day because um that he was like, wow, this guy is crazy. Or like, um, wow, he's a, he's a, he's a regular

on kill Tony. Let's, uh, let's have him open for, um, for me at the show that he does on Tuesdays and Wednesdays at the Vulcan. Uh, but yeah, so that's, that's how it happened. I became a regular on kill Tony and that kind of opened the door for me to meet Joe Rogan. It's like the classic dream that every comedian has coming to Austin and it came true for me. So I feel super blessed. I'm going to try to recap that story. There's a show,

the largest live show on YouTube, Kill Tony. And you were a guest on that show after the show had gotten in trouble whatever trouble means from this guy peng dang go fuck himself uh for claiming some sort of uh racism on the show and you came on there and stole the show as a Chinese man singing the national anthem. They asked you to come back as a regular. As a regular, that means you sit at the table and rip on the other dudes

or you're a regular that gets ripped on? No. I go up and do comedy every week. Then they rip on you? Yeah. Do you graduate to the tape and then do you graduate to the table so you do the ripping yeah i've done that twice oh shit so you cut you have your gray belt already yeah okay so and then from there one day when you're at work you have sex with someone

at on at the kill tony set you have sex with a patron at the venue in a broom closet? Yeah. Okay. Was it your girlfriend? No, she was a girl who volunteered to kiss me on stage and then afterwards we consummated the appearance with intercourse.

Did you fall in love with her? No. Maybe a little? Not really, no. Did you ever have sex with her again? I think I fingered her in the van. Man, I see.

I'm getting derailed here, but I never did. I never had a one night stand. It seems like it's so much work and you're in the same bucket as me. It says so much work to meet a girl and get to know her and and build a friendship with her and like all this stuff that like once you put in all that work like having sex once seems like a fucking complete like like it's like buying a glass bong smoking and throwing it away no that's what you do with the fucking apple that's what you do with an apple smoke it once a girl like it's a this is a glass bong you spend a lot of money on this this is a this is an investment in your time and i don't know do you kind of feel me on that though like like just

once with the girl did you have her phone number could you do it again if you wanted to i think she has a boyfriend now oh but she i mean there was no like investment in in cost it was just like we just met on stage and then we had sex so it was like um it wasn't like uh like i put in a lot of effort or right right or a lot of money has anything like that ever happened to you that's nothing like that and there's ever in a million years has happened to me like i went to a bar and some girls like you're cute want to go home um i mean tinder i've met a couple people and then we've had relationships and then it ended um but yeah i mean um there's uh like there's rarely very occasionally there's like casual sex that i stumble upon um usually i have to be in a relationship to have sex yeah um

but uh yeah i mean uh there's like different ways that i have sex but i'm always thankful for whenever it does happen and um yeah there's different ways what do you mean like tinder meet them at the bar prostitutes like just the whole like there's different yeah yeah different commitment levels different uh investment different uh investment, different, uh, uh, pursuits. Uh, so it's just, um, I, I don't have that much sex, so I'm probably the wrong stand. That was standing sex. Yeah. In the broom closet, doggies are bent over from the back. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's nice. That's really nice. That's cool. That's fun. That's so fucking fun.

Wow. Okay. And then you told someone on the show this, a guy named Fitzsimmons. Yeah. And this friend, in a more intimate setting, shared the story with Joe. And Joe was like, fuck. He must have seen some of your work. I'm sure he has uh i mean maybe he saw a couple kill tonys but he knew that tony passed me as a regular so i had tony seal of

approval um i i just saw something of yours pop up on my instagram and um i use instagram just to call the herd and look for people to have on my podcast and I saw you on Instagram and I was like holy shit this guy is so funny and I was just dying and I reposted it and I sent it to all my friends and I was like this is fucking great

do you remember what clip it was? yeah it's a ton of them the first one oh yes yes yes the first one is the black panther one oh yeah nice that was the first one the black panther one i was like yeah this is yeah duh i mean it's so it's so good like tokenistic marvel movies is how we communicate now it's like we don't need that to legitimize the culture like there's actual things that cultures do that are awesome that we shouldn't just praise a movie um but i guess it's good to you know like have one of those

have a movie uh that celebrates like you know a fake version of your culture. But I'm not a big fan of that kind of superhero type thing. I think it's fantastical. I'd rather have more real heroes. I like nonfiction better, I guess. Me too. I didn't see the Will Smith movie where he played serena's um father did you see that no you think you'd like it i think i'd like it yeah i mean i'd love to see how people become

successful so it's like uh yeah i would love to dissect and like figure out how i can use any any of that for myself do you guys notice uh uh uh, uh, Hans Kim's Hans plug years. I don't want to make you self-conscious Hans Kim's cadence has changed. We're warming up. We're 41 minutes into the show. We're starting to connect a little bit. There's a little bit of back and forth. I'm, I'm feeling, I'm feeling better. Um, Hans, how many, when I go back into your Instagram, like the 433 weeks to like your first posts. And I, you, you have, you have

pictures of, um, we may even have some will, I think I maybe put a link in, in my notes. There's, um, there's pictures where you're signing in and open mic nights. Can you tell me about the very first time you stood up and performed in front of a crowd. How long did it take you to prepare that skit? Did you go one night and then sign up and then run out and not come back? Like, give me all the juicy details of how you grow a fucking set of balls big enough to do that. What the prep is. I went to a mic and I realized I couldn't sign up at the Comedy Underground in Seattle on Monday. They were like, come here to this other one,

Jai Thai on Tuesday. And I went home and prepared all my notes and I spent a lot of energy and effort writing all this shit down. Because when you first do it, you have no idea what to spend effort and energy on. So you're just spending all this energy and effort in every direction, looking at notes, typing it out,

printing it out, looking over it. It was like a lot of unnecessary work. But yeah, I did that, went up for the first time at Jai Thai. Whether you're practicing your morning breath work, waiting for your favorite artist to come on stage, or running errands at the perfect pace, Liquid IV Powder helps you turn ordinary water into extraordinary hydration so you can live a more extraordinary life. Live more with Liquid IV Hydration Multiplier. Available in refreshing lemon, lime, passion fruit, and strawberry flavors. Buy a stick in store at Costco, Walmart, Amazon, and other Canadian retailers.

I put it up online, my very first set. I recorded it, and it's up online. Where, where? Is that on your YouTube station? Yeah. Jai Thai Hans Kim first set. And, you know, was met with mixed response, but I took that as success and just kept doing it. And, uh, just, uh, yeah, I mean, I just hit the ground running. I,

I did every mic I could, I would do like three or four or five mics a night and just did about like, mics a night and just did about like, um, yeah. My wife just texted me and said, you're Korean. Yeah. And I made the,

I made the assumption you were Chinese. Yeah. I mean, it's a common mistake. So I kill myself. Um, yeah. Okay. And so, and so you did it and you had mixed and um how old were you i was 24 25 man and and how many and then after you do this first one how long before you do another one the next day holy shit and at this point have you already seen the joe rogan videos that have kind of inspired you where he's given the pep talks on youtube yeah at this point i've probably

been watching two years of joe rogan yeah maybe one uh but yeah i was a huge fan of his i was a huge fan of the podcast does he know this yeah he knows this story uh yeah wow crazy do you know the exact video is it a short like clip is it like a juxtaposition of a bunch of him like optimistic shitty saying about pursuing your dreams do you know which video that is was there one that you watched over and over so it's just him in general his belief and kind of the message he shares on his podcast yeah um it was uh it was just his like the way he talked about uh comedy and the way that he talked about it and also yeah like the pursuing of your dreams and um living your life like it's a movie. But yeah, it was like just a great thing because the way that he talked about comedy

made it seem very doable and practical. Do you think your cadence, when I watch your older videos, you're you're a little bit louder not a lot louder you're a little bit louder than you're presenting now and you're a little um a little bit more emotion and now you're you're you have incredible like almost like equanimity now will you look up that word make sure i use that word right will you're very are you are you consciously deliver your message to the world is this how you speak if i met your parents do they speak like you also in terms of just this um it's not monotone it's not uh

maybe it's a little dry but it's it's it's an evenness of mind, especially under stress. Oh, yeah. There's this very, there's a steadiness to your speech. Do you work on that? No, I guess I hear that a lot. Like people say that I have the same personality no matter what happens. I'm always like in character or whatever. Just like I'm the same way no matter what happens

um but yeah i mean i guess i found it uh easier and better to not have so many ups and downs but to stay in the middle um but maybe that might not be the best for a comedian i don't know i'd never worked on it consciously this is just sort of what happened so maybe um i found that it worked for me um but yeah i would i would like to be more animated but i don't necessarily have to be i'm fine not being animated i think that uh there's different ways and i think it's fine to uh be whatever energy level that you are as long as you make it work instead of just like trying to um have more energy um you know just like trying to inject more energy for no reason um but yeah i mean i try to uh you know be excited to talk to people and like excited to be where i am instead of being like oh whatever

um i don't want to be here like i think that's very um easy trap to fall into especially at like comedy shows or open mics like i'm better than this i think it's always good to have like optimism and freshness so hopefully i can still get excited and still get aroused for comedy. Get aroused for comedy. Oh, that could be your next album, Get Aroused for Comedy. Have you thought about putting an album together? Yeah, I would love to. I just need to practice an hour repeatedly.

So once I start headlining and practicing an hour, then I want to record a special. Man, you're cool so so you do the first show at 24 years old then the second right the second night you get right back up and you do it again and does there become this just relentless pursuit yeah i was like it's not doesn't matter how well i did i just want to get better at it it's like a craft um so i didn't take it personally if i bombed i was just like oh that's another one let's keep on doing i just went after mics and stage time as much as possible i'm gonna ask you a question and i don't mean to pigeonhole you i i don't know if it's a it's a bullshit question just be like no that doesn't work for me um

do you have to come up with better material or do you have to come up with material that suits you? By that, I mean, do you know what I mean by that? What's getting better as you work on this and you get better? Is your material getting better? Is your delivery getting better? Is your stage presence getting better? Or is it all of them? Or is it you're just looking for those perfect words that match your delivery?

Yeah, I feel like I just try to say the best jokes, the best materials. And then whatever that is, hopefully is me. Like me is me trying to be the funniest possible. So I don't try to be like oh this is a good joke but it's not in my voice it's like well i mean if it works it works so i uh i try to just write the best funniest jokes possible and not worry too much whether it's me or not because me is malleable and getting better every day hopefully so i don't want to be like, I'm this kind of person. I can only joke about cars.

I think that would be very limiting. So I just try to, I don't try to think of like, oh, my character. But like, if there's something like, oh, I look like an autistic Asian person. So it'd be funnier if I said things about that. I do use my appearance as a weapon to get some laughs in the beginning, but I don't go out of my way to define myself as this type of person or that type

of person. How many ups do you think you've had since you're 24 now, or you were 24 then, you're 32 now, six, seven eight years how many how many ups do you think you've had have you ever like gone up on stage yeah or anything coffee shop bar um anything probably since i've been doing nine years and there's like 400 times I go up every year, roughly, probably more. Are you kidding me? Yeah, no. So twice a day some days, twice a day some days. Yeah, I mean, three, four, five times some days.

Sometimes for 15 minutes when I was doing it in Seattle, I would find music open mics and do three or four of them a night, five or six maybe. And then in New York, I was doing as many as I could, six or seven a night. And in Austin, you can do about six on a Tuesday. So I would say maybe even like 800 sets a year. It's really hard to say. But I would say like 9,000 sets, maybe 8,000 sets of comedy that I've done, that I've gone on stage at. It's amazing that you even had time to do jujitsu. Is there anything else in your life besides comedy?

I play pickup basketball with my friends. Uh-huh. Um, I, um, I do Starcraft two. Um, I,

I had a project where I built a van to live in. Yeah. So that would took up us some time. And then like, uh, yeah, I mean, uh, jujitsu, yeah playing guitar playing ukulele and stuff

oh shit what was your preferred this is total side question then we got to get back to this performance thing what was your preferred bottle for peeing in the van was there a beverage that you thought had the best screw cap biggest best diameter to stick your dick in all that stuff probably a a liquid detergent uh bottle from a from a laundromat usually they throw that away and then there's already soap in there so the first couple batches are self-cleaning and it doesn't even smell bad yeah until you keep it around for too long do you ever get any soap on your dick and it burned no like some blue tide on your helmet and you're like what the fuck and you're like panicking and grabbing a wipe no no i mean that'd be kind of gross i usually uh maybe touch the the the you know the the rim but usually the rims are like pretty big on a laundry detergent thing

and uh there's a handle yeah sometimes they have two holes so i'll pee in one hole and then dump from the other hole oh you'll reuse you would dump a container and reuse a container yeah it's not seal and toss no until the very last good good for the environment yeah i don't know because i was pouring pee down storm drains i i was um that's fine a whale's pissing shit in the ocean all the time anytime you feel like you're pissing shit in the ocean it's bad don't worry about whales just fucking that shit up um i had uh the the fittest man alive rich ronin on the other day and he was telling me uh he pissed in a uh the last crossfit competition in um madison last year he slept in a van during the competition

and uh his team won the competition but he pissed in a gatorade bottle and i would i just think in general gatorade's probably the go-to for a lot of people but a detergent bottle seems more perfect like the professional grade like Gatorade's like hey you're just out camping or you're driving long distance you don't want to stop and like detergent bottles like yo I live

this shit I live in here yeah like it can hold like bottles yes the Maserati or I was gonna say the Taj Mahal it's just so big like how many like it's the maserati bottles yes the maserati or i was gonna say the taj mahal it's just so big like how many like it can hold a lot yeah probably like two three three whole days worth of piss probably two would you ever stay in your van all day yeah it was weird yeah that is weird what would you be doing in there writing practicing meditating down writing reading watching youtube videos i watched tiger king during the pandemic

in a forest in florida where i won the pandemic first hit got all my mac and cheese and uh yeah there's a little kitchen in there so i can make food i can pee um i really don't have to leave the van um but yeah obviously it's good to walk around and get the blood flowing do you think you would ever fall in love with the girl and get in the van and just just hit the road that's the dream if we i could find a girl yeah that's all i need is like a person to talk to and bounce ideas off of. Maybe get a dog and then just go into the middle of the desert and just be. Dogs are cool, but they're a little overrated. The constant walking.

Yeah, they're work. They're. Yeah, they're work. They're – yeah, dogs – it's going to break my heart to say this. I just can't get behind a dog. I just can't. I mean I have dogs now, but like I'm old, and I got a house and kids and shit, and I love my dogs, right? Yeah. So this this at 49, one of my biggest struggles is still my parents in terms of being authentic and being myself. You know, like I'm talking to you about pissing in a in your van and I'm like, oh, fuck, is my mom listening? Do you have any issues with that? Like when you're on stage, you're you're like like how did you break free how did you break free or have you not broken free and your parents are just cool as shit i mean i guess my parents are cool as shit too because my mom

listens to the show and she hardly bashes me but how did you finally you seem so young to have broken free from your parents already and be able to say the shit you say um i guess i just don't think about it i uh my parents i haven't um i haven't been back in a while um i uh i think i grew up on the internet so i just i i think i lost my filter um yeah i mean i just uh hope that they can understand that i'm like not a little boy anymore and like they that uh that uh this is how people the the things that you know it's like a new generation like we talk about things that they probably didn't talk too much about um but yeah i mean my parents um i do a lot of like stuff that's not religious friendly and uh i'm kind of worried about that sometimes but you know because of the man upstairs the big guy upstairs or because yeah find your parents oh my parents yeah yeah the big guy in

the big house yeah um but yeah i mean, my parents are pretty cool. They let me do whatever. They don't reprimand me or anything. They're pretty progressive for Asian parents. Both of them are Korean? Yeah. And you haven't ever gotten a call from your dad? Hey, man, you can't be saying that shit.

Your cousins are listening. No, they don't even let me know know that they are listening i don't even know if they are sometimes like there's there's so much random shit out there i don't know what they would find if they started looking yeah isn't that weird i don't i don't know i mean i know my mom watches all my shit but like my i have no idea about my dad i have zero i mean he and my dad's here right now in my house i have no fucking idea i don't know if he knows any of my shit yeah he's uh he he's not familiar with your oeuvre oeuvre your discography oh shit well well save me will oeuvre oeuvre uh we have a we have a guest who's using another word I don't know.

Oof. That's French. I don't even know what that is. Can't even spell that. A little smart as shit. Not as smart as the Korean guest. I think it's like a French word. For a work of art?

Yeah. I found it. You can take me off now. I'll put it up. Okay it up okay thank you will sometimes you have to be nice to will you you have to it has to be a balance of beating on him and kindness to him i wish i had a will oh man dude hans will will was just a guy who watches the show and then he just fucking was like yo i'll help you and he's fucking taking us to the next level everything websites these graphics like all the cool shit uh definition of silent r a substantial body of work constituting the life work of a writer an artist or a composer yeah my dad doesn't know my oov at all he doesn't know my oov he at all he doesn't know my oeuvre he knows uh you as the little diaper

uh child and i wonder what he does know me as i don't even know i don't even know i wonder i'll ask oh i don't know if i'm gonna ask him that how would i word that do you know who I am? I'm kind of too old to say that to my parents. I think I was supposed to say that to them when I was 18. Do you know who I am? What do you think that I do all day?

And what makes you the most proud that I do? And what's the most embarrassing thing that you think I do? Oh, that's good. That's good. I'm going to write that down so so so you so you don't have any hang-ups with your parents you're not like hey you're still trying to make your parents proud or you're not worried about that what what what you're saying yeah i don't uh do you remember how you got over that or it was never there or do you was there a moment where you're all fuck it i'm free yeah i mean i lived with my parents till i was 28 uh doing comedy so it's like i was always in the i i i mean i didn't i relied on them for a while um but yeah i mean um yeah i mean it's not like a

big internal dialogue that i have is like my parents, which I think is unfortunate at times and fortunate and other times. But yeah, I mean, yeah, I that's not one of my concerns. I can relate to it, though. I would hate for my parents to see something embarrassing of me. But yeah. Dylan Val, Tony made it a thing for weeks so there is a guy named tony who's the kill tony guy that's there's the guy uh-huh yeah okay tony made it a thing for weeks to have random girls i bet you they weren't random but i'll cut you some slack there mr dylan you're a friend of the show um girls and strippers come on stage and make out with hans yeah man they're i so i saw some brawless girls and stuff coming up there yeah

and and do they do they tell you ahead of time that this is the plan for you or you just have to be a go with it kind of guy the first one was uh. This, the rest of them were sort of planned. I knew about it. Um, it was like a running gag. Um, but yeah, I mean,

it was a great time. I really enjoy the female sex. So it was great to be able to, um, you know, uh, physically enjoy them with my lips. Um, but there's people watching,

isn't that part kind of weird? Um, yeah, I mean, I, I think sex can be very performative for some people. Um, yeah, you've gone straight to the performative. You're like advanced. Yeah. I mean, I wouldn't say I'm that good at it. do my best you know i don't know if i'm that good of a kisser but i so i mean that's a large part of it i think um but i mean i don't really want to get good at kissing or like this idea of like i don't know i don't want to be like you know like oh i'm the best at sex because i think that's, that means you're not that good at sex. If you think that it's like a paradox. Um, but like, if you think you're good at sex, it means you're not good at sex. Um, yeah. I mean, I think it means that you're not really

thinking about your partner. You're just like, oh, look at me looking at flexing in the mirror and stuff like, uh, American psycho. Wow. Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I, did you ever, did you see the movie? Did you read that book by any chance? No, I want to. I read the book before, before the movie came out. It was nuts. I don't think you need to. Yeah. Yeah. It was, it was like a case study of mental psychosis.

Whatever it is, the person who wrote it probably wrote themselves that shit crazy. It's fucked up. It's just weird. There's just pages and pages in there about him shaving. And I'm just like, yo, I got shit to do. Like, I don't give a fuck. Do you know anyone else in the comic space in anything that's been as relentless as you are yeah um i don't believe you there's a lot of people that work

hard especially in new york there's a large hustle culture um my friend alvin Kwai, I know works hard. Uh, he does a lot of mics as well. Um, other for me, Alvin and then K U a I like the Hawaii thing. Okay. Um, other hard workers. I mean, I would say I'm like one of the hard Nobel prize Nobel Prize winning sex symbol. I like his website. Very good. Okay. Yeah, he's a funny guy. Yeah, I mean, there's a large culture of people that work hard with comedy, which is sort of interesting because people think that you lose personality if you just grind it out. And, you know, like you might do a lot of sets but then that like

you're losing something but i uh i luckily i don't subscribe to that or don't have i can develop my personality through uh writing or going up a lot um so i mean i interview a lot of athletes and there's athletes like that, too. There's this athlete that I had on the show recently, Sarah Sigmund's daughter, and she competition is important for her because she that's where she feels like she really can work on herself and competition. And a lot of athletes, I think the the the popular belief, and it's probably true is that you shouldn't do a lot of competitions. You should be very balanced. You should be careful. And when, when the competition's going, people try their hardest. That's when they get hurt. That's when they get burnt out, et cetera, et cetera. But you're of this guild, guild, guild, you're of this thought, this belief, or you're of this practice that you, you don't feel like you're

in a box when you're on stage. You don't, it's not a place where you feel trapped and you can't explore shit you feel like you go out there to explore shit yeah it could be a good thing it can like help you and grow and you know learn the tricks of the trade and learn how to talk to people and learn like what you like to do in front of an audience um and what is funny when you say stuff on stage and like how to interact in that scenario like if you're just talking one-on-one with people that's a different social uh interaction than uh in front of a stage uh with a bunch of people so it's just like a different uh social dynamic that uh i just thought i could overload uh you know like get a baptism by fire and learn how to do that by just doing it a lot

because i've always been sort of analytical about social situations i've it's never been natural all the time although at times it feels natural um but yeah i mean it's like i uh i just think that uh as long as you have good intentions and you're like oh this is just a game talking and comedy and uh interacting with people but also like doing it with good intentions and not being analytical or psychopathic about it um i think it helped me just be like, oh, I'm just going to learn how to talk to people on stage. Sort of like a game for me. And trying to use my emotional detachment as a benefit

and not as like a psychopath that's going to use society to get some uh hedonistic pleasures or power maybe that is what i'm sensing you use the term to hold on hold on will what is this shit right here do we block these people what is this shit ver life and and vomnigo we just block that shit it's like fucking forever just block out those jay um what you said emotional detachment so you feel like even now as i communicate with you there's it it's is that what i'm sensing an emotional detachment no i think that's like a bad i shouldn't use that word it's like um I guess like there's like more like more conscious, more analytical,

intellectual, you know, energy that I have. But there's definitely emotions there. And without the emotions, I think I would be a little, you know, less engaged or relatable or good.

I think I maybe have less emotional engagement. I favor more ideas and logic over feelings. I don't know. It sounds like everyone thinks they're logical and not as emotional but I think for me it might be true that's so interesting you say that I don't mean to

make this heavy in an unnecessary way but you just nailed what's going on with society right now it could be it could be it could be summed up exactly like that there's a there's a group of people who are more concerned about people's feelings than people's lives right like as long as they don't hurt your feelings it's okay even though a bunch of people

died yeah like an example would be if you're running towards a cliff and you're about to run off a cliff i said you dumb fuck stop and you turned around and kept running goes that wasn't nice and you ran off the cliff and died instead of saying wait a second this guy might have a point you stop you didn't worry about your feelings right i think emotions are a tool that you can use to get people to stop running off a cliff instead of like having the emotion be the goal i think you should use the emotion to accomplish things yeah um do you know akira the dawn is no i had him on the show today he's a musician he's trapped in mexico right now he has a home in texas you know spun at beaver's parties, released his first rap album in 2014. He's done it all.

He's interviewed Jordan Peterson has been on Jordan Peterson's podcast. This guy's done it all. He's 42 year old super DJ, right? And his newest thing that he's doing now is he scores live intellectual speakers. So someone like Jordan speak, Jordan Peterson would give a talk live and he would score it as a DJ in the background. Nice. Yeah.

Can I just show you one thing he did real quick? I'll show you. There's only 40 seconds. Let me see if I think I will. I think Will may have uploaded it. No, darn it. I think maybe I, did I upload it earlier today? Where is that video? Let me see if i can find

it uh here it is this is just 44 seconds so this is the kind he this this particular one let me see how can one open ah this particular one isn't live but this is the kind of stuff he does are you familiar with who david david uh i think that's his name david goggins yes okay so he used to be overweight and then through sheer force of will became skinny yes I first asked the kid who are you at the core of your soul and if he can't answer that question our conversation's over I can't say shit to him if you don't know who you are if you don't know who you are, if you don't know who you are, I can't tell you who you are. Come on. If you don't know who you are, if you don't know who you are, I can't tell you who you are.

So he takes these clips. Were you able to hear that? I don't know how well you played it. Yeah, it was great. So he takes these clips, and he's got Jordan Peterson ones that got millions of views, and he puts animation and graphics. And then he does full lectures where he's playing the music and shit behind people. It's fucking great. But basically, I had him on this morning, and one of the things he was talking about is just how weird life is that you manifest – just the manifestation of things. And we got into the discussion of is it you're manifesting things or is it that you're telling your future to yourself? Are you your own personal Nostradamus? Do you want to put your neck pillow on?

You can if you want to. Okay, yeah, sure. Yeah, hook yourself up. Can you still hear me without those headphones? Yeah. So your life is kind of the same way. Yeah. I don't want to take away from all your fucking insane hard work and grind,

but your life, when you think about your life and what you were thinking about and what you were doing when you were 24 and then what you're doing now, you were already kind of there. Yeah. Even Joe Rogan. Yeah. I mean, there was something that was in my head, and then I just kept it in my head, and then eventually it became reality because I was working at it. came reality because I was working at it.

Next time you're around Joe, you have to be like, Hey Joe, when I was 24, I, you know, I always thought about you and you inspired me. I was just wondering if when you were 24, you thought you'd have a Korean friend named Hans Kim who you built a really cool relationship. Like, like, like did he manifest you too? Yeah. Maybe I'm just a figment of joe rogan's imagination yes yes maybe you're his are you is he in your dream are you in his dream will you don't have my notes oh you do have my notes shit i'm late to the party yeah um let's see is this a han's job kim like hands job hands job kim that's like a joke hands job

yeah i get a lot of hand jobs um you do yeah from women really like there was a thing yeah like i was getting a lot of hand jobs and then i kept talking about it on the podcast and everyone's like, why don't you get a blowjob or sex? But it's like usually the ladies were, you know, a little reluctant at times. times yeah hand job seems like it's easier to procure than a blow job or sex um i i would often tell people i would use a hand job to explain to people that all that nothing in life is great and like nothing in life is great all the time and i would i would use this metaphor like hey dude even a hand job after two minutes is fucking lame like you know what i mean like the line like someone would be like hey let's go do this and we've already done it 20 times dude not even a ham job is fun for more than two minutes how long is a hand job how long is a hand job hopefully like five minutes maybe seven holy shit

maybe even holy shit do you ever feel bad for the person who's giving you a hand job like fuck their form must be killing like they switch hands yeah yeah that's kind of the appeal of it is like man look they're doing manual labor for me serious um yeah i mean it's like like cooking like hey that lady's cooking for me this lady's giving me a hand job or this guy's cooking for me This lady's giving me a handjob. Or this guy's cooking for me. This guy's giving me a handjob. It's like that. It's like you like the thought of someone, like, it seems devotional or loving or caring. Yeah, they're doing something for me.

Like, it doesn't give them any pleasure besides maybe, like, seeing the pleasure on my face. So it's like complete, you know, like, wow, they're really there for me. Wow, that's amazing. I never thought like that. I always just feel bad. I'm like, God, this seems like a lot of work. This is like cardiovascular workout for them. It's a lot of grip strength.

How close are you to this uh well is is there is there an is there you you're in this upward trajectory right yeah like i'm gonna say something i don't mean this in a mean way at all but like when i click on you and i click on all the pictures of your friends in the last like year your instagram account has like 40 000 and their instagram accounts have like one to six thousand right so i'm guessing if i looked at your instagram account six months ago you'd have had one thousand and kind of like you've you're like you're you're a seedling in this pot with all these other talented seedlings and you're just fucking shot up yeah yeah it was it's like uh Yeah. Yeah. It was, it's like a random, like whatever people decide to reward and stuff. But I mean,

I've been doing it eight, nine years, so I don't feel too bad, but yeah, I mean, I would have been right there alongside them if Tony hadn't plucked me out of the, the, the, you know, the, the noise or the, the crop. But yeah, I mean, I, there's like the, you know, the, the noise or the crop. Um, but yeah, I mean, I, there's like the, the difference between me and someone who has 1000 followers isn't really that big. It's just, um, it's like you have to, uh, work really hard. And like the guy that gets cut from the NFL is only slightly worse than the guy who makes it

so um like overall like we're pretty much identical to an alien except like now that i have the experience with tony opening for him and for joe at big shows like maybe that'll give me some sort of advantage. But yeah, it's not as big of a difference as 44 to 1. I think that there's a lot of very talented people out there. And, you know, I go to a lot of shows and I see people that make me insecure all the time. So, I mean, hopefully I get better every day and hopefully I can make people feel insecure more than I feel insecure. Yeah.

Who is I going to ask you about? What do you think about Tosh? Oh, I love Daniel Tosh. He's one of my favorites. He's such a good joke writer. I'm absolutely in love with him. I think I am him i think like when i when i i just i i i like his specials i don't really have time for his shows but i've watched all of

his specials at least twice um and and then i saw him live once in palm springs and man he's he's just uh i'm glad you like him what what what do you like about him why do i like him why is he so good what tell me let's give him a hand job right now i think he's very smart um i think he's very articulate and he explains the issues in a very real way. He's like observing reality. He's not creating a delusional world to live in. Um, I think he's,

um, you know, like aware of what is going on in his head and around him. And he just is very good at explaining things. um, yeah, I mean, he's uncompromising. He's like, this is reality.

And then I'm going to use this to be funny instead of being like, well, I think it'd be funny if this happened. No, he's like, this is what's happening. And then let me make humor on top of reality instead of like creating a fantasy world from where he can be funny from. It's just like, he's making fun of the world as it is. Um, I, uh,

and he's really funny and really got good jokes. And, uh, you know, he's, he's like delivers it. Like these are the jokes here they are. And I'm going to say them flawlessly.

and it's like, ideas are like very, like he's just like, this is, this is just the strength of the idea. If you don't like it, that means you don't like the idea or like, that's an issue with you.

But yeah, I mean, I think he's really strong in terms of saying the right things and being able to describe the world that we live in and make humor out of the world that we all share, sort of like a fantasy world. There was a point in there where I was thinking, would you say that's brave? Instead of making a fantasy world to make fun of, to work with the world at hand, would you say that that's brave and sort of instead of making a fantasy world to to make fun of to to to work with the world at hand would you say that that's brave yeah i think a lot of people don't want to live in the real world and they resent having to be here and so if you drag them into the real world they're like oh why did you do that and chapelle's doing the same thing right he's yeah it's real world uh-huh yeah he's like he's honest with his appraisal of

the world and his solutions um uh this is gonna get maybe a little heavy will can you bring up my instagram for a second i want to show hans uh something i i posted a picture of this boy who died from covid he's 16 years old and cnn reports him as healthy and there's there's a hundred of these posts out there right like there's a hundred at least a hundred in the last two years i've collected over 200 of these where they say so this is um this fuckery, right? It says healthy teenager who took precautions suddenly dies of COVID-19. Now, this is a child who should weigh 89 pounds and weighs 389 pounds. It's almost four times their body weight. They're so obese that the ears are being swallowed by the fat on the head.

are being swallowed by the fat on the head. On top of that, I would argue that what you're doing is this is the roots of what we call systemic racism. CNN is spreading it because they're according to their logic. They're telling everyone who looks like this boy, a 16 year old black boy, that this is the paragon of health. Three hundred and eighty nine pounds at 16 years old. the paragon of health 389 pounds at 16 years old so there is a a massive psychological warfare theoretically i like from from the left perspective that this is you're telling black people at 16 years old this is healthy and then on top of that you're lying and saying covid kills healthy people which we know that it does not so um and and then i and then i put and then we scroll to the next picture and then i posted this picture so you could get a close-up because i wanted people to be able to see his eyes his neck and his ears okay you can close this the comments on it people are saying

hey that's not nice some of them most of them are like seven you're a fucking god um but but some people are that's not you're you but I don't disagree with them. They're like, that's someone's kid. I don't disagree with you. It's not nice. It's not nice. But what's more important that it's not nice that I'm posting a picture of someone's kid who's obese, who died. I know that's not nice, is the fact that hopefully someone can learn from that. Do you know what I'm saying and really just because the cnn headline says healthy that kid is that kid hasn't been healthy since the day he was born yeah and it's not okay white black or korean to be 389 pounds at 16 years old unless you want to die of some virus

yeah i mean it's like the guy running off the cliff. You just want to be like, Hey, this is not a healthy way to be. Um, there's probably a reason he died probably because he was fat. And, um, yeah, I mean, if we should have a healthier society that, uh, isn't so susceptible to dying, like that's. That's an important thing. We should make sure everyone's healthy. And this is why this is the greatest show on the internet because there's a comment here that says a lot of pre-cum and then right after there's a comment that says it's so sad.

And then a sad reality. Let's go back to hand jobs. And then a sad reality. Let's go back to handjobs. What happens when you get a little bit of the success from Kill Tony? Do you feel any relief like you want to get off of your horse, like you don't have to run as fast? I always pictured there's two kinds of kids i was the kind of kid where if the teach i was teacher's pet i felt this crazy pressure on me and then there were these other kids if they were teacher's pet they took advantage of it and like went down easy street like now that you're kind of in the end are you taking easy street or does it feel like even more pressure um i mean i haven't been doing

as much comedy as i'd like to be, I haven't been doing as much comedy as I'd like to be doing. I've just been doing shows, sort of setting a price for myself and making myself exclusive so that there's more demand. Is that why you charged me $1,000 to come on the show? Is that what you mean?

Yeah, I mean, yeah. It's just more important that people know how much I got paid than me actually getting paid. Um, it's all perception and PR. Um, but yeah, I mean, it's, uh, it's, I still have the same drive. I mean, my motivations weren't purely, uh, just success driven or just like, Oh, I just want people to approve of me and then I can quit. I just like, I think people should be doing things with their lives and not just trying to feel pleasure or comfort. So this is my chosen. I'm like a tool. Tools shouldn't be put in glass cases and just looked at. Tools should be used to make things. And I want to make things out of myself and i think this is like what

people should do is like they should pick something to do and then do it instead of just like trying to be as comfortable and not work as much as possible um so it's just it's not been a motivation to just like coast i've uh even though i have some success now i i want to keep going and keep being a better uh creator of stuff what a great mix of words cock bending it is yeah um uh i've had i like the way you said that about being a tool and being used i've had friends who've bought in like really nice camera gear, and then they don't want to take it out because they don't want it to get damaged. And it's like, yo, yo, yo, it's your tool.

Just take care of it the best you can, but take that shit out and start hustling. Yeah. That's what it's made for. If you're not going to use it, then it's useless. Yeah, and those guys at Canon, man, they make great cameras. You can beat the shit out of them. But Apple does not make an iphone it's an amazing piece of equipment but i'm really shocked hans that yours doesn't have a case on it and what what is that is that you is that some sort of alpha asserting your dominant shit

well i have apple care so i get two new phones if i were to break it but yeah i mean i got a case on it now i accidentally cracked it okay um but yeah i cracked the back of it right here i don't know if you can see it i saw it on your video oh yeah shocked i mean the apple the iphone 13 is is a miraculous uh piece equipment. Mine is here somewhere. But if you, it is a shame to put it in a case, but man, this thing, this thing feels like it's, it could break like if you sneezed on it. Yeah. Right? It's glass. Yeah. I mean, it's, it's, it's metal and glass. It's like things that shouldn't even be mixed together.

Yeah. Cause the metal can break the glass. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, metal can break. Listerine strips, I just wanted to, that was, do you use Listerine strips? No, I just got one yesterday. I haven't used it yet. Yeah, they're kind of expensive, right? Yeah.

It's like $3.89 for like a little pack of them. But I would highly recommend them for that makeout thing. So you have them in your pocket. So when I used to do a lot of face-to-face interviewing in a previous lifetime, I would always have Listerine strips. Because, man, if you meet someone with bad breath, you just want to get the fuck away from them, right? Yeah. Do you floss? No.

I should, though. Yeah, especially if you eat meat. Because a piece of meat will get in there, and it'll start rotting, and you won't know it. And your breath will smell like roadkill. Yeah. That's a good idea. I usually wait until someone tells me i stink and then i start doing something about it does that happen not very often it hasn't happened in a while well that's good

because that's a fucked up situation i used to work with this guy i was an executive over at crossfit and there was this other executive and his breath was so bad and i'm not fucking exaggerating that it would smell up the whole room so we would be in a boardroom with 10 people a room that was 20 by 50 and some dude in there would have breath so bad that i could smell it when i walked in and i would immediately just text all the other executives in the room like yo is that fucking ben again and everyone would be like yeah it's Ben Ben doesn't watch my show no one even knows okay finally

what is this I had one more question semi funny Listerine strip stop the Asian hate you know Joe Rogan he lived in your van for a year you went to Georgia Tech you had the same attorney as Ahmad Arbery no the guy who was defending the guy who killed Ahmed Arbery. Yeah.

That's a, that's a weird story. That's for your next trip on the show. We talked about your neck. Uh, you've done a lot of, damn, there was one more question on here. Kissing boobies, double dub. There's really nothing better than taking a girl's bra off in life. That's not one of my questions, but I just thought I'd share that with you. You've been too high at one of your performances. You've gotten so high that you're like, oh, fuck, how am I going to do this? And then gone on and did it. Yeah.

Is that scary as shit? Like, is a part of you just want to run away in the other direction, like run to the parking lot jump in your van and drive away that would scare the shit out of me if that happened to me yeah sometimes it goes even better because i'm like in the zone and i all i can rely on are the jokes i'm fully in the moment just uh you know entranced and trying to do really well um and when i'm sober sometimes i'm like oh whatever who cares but when i'm high it's like oh i'm really sensitive i want them to like me but i've been getting high so much that at this point i can't really tell if i'm high or if i'm sober i'm always sort of high so um yeah i mean i've i've gotten good at going up when i'm high because I just do it so much. I've bombed enough times to be like, okay, I can figure it out.

I'm going to be high sometimes. I can't just not smoke all day. I guess I could, but I don't. I just learned. I'm like, I'm going to be high. This is one of the things I do, so let's learn how to do it. I just learned i'm like i'm gonna be high something i this is one of the things i do so let's learn how to do it so i just learned how to do it after a while trial and error yeah what what a um what a crazy tool that is okay i'm gonna get so fucking high that i'm gonna be terrified to go up there and it's to be my best show. Yeah. Oh, man.

Should I have Alvin on? Alvin? Alvin, yeah. Yeah, I'm sure he'd do it. He's a pretty hard worker. We haven't talked in a while. I don't know if he still likes me, but yeah, I respect him,

and he's another Asian comic, so I try to boost other asian comics oh he hasn't posted on instagram since august uh 2021 that's kind of weird interesting he's on tiktok a lot oh i don't do tiktok do you do tiktok oh i don't do tiktok do you do tiktok yeah i love uh it's just like another skin for my videos it's like another border another avenue for it oh yeah he says it says 150 000 on tiktok yeah he reacts to a lot of videos. So he's on Tik TOK. Yeah. I don't do Tik TOK or Facebook just for no reason other than like Instagram is like more than enough.

It's like how, like how, like it's like I have three kids. I can't have six. I mean, I guess I, yeah, it's like,

if you want to find someone there, they're on out there. It's like, there's no excuse you just have to google them and their most uh frequented social media pops up so um it's just a different avenue it's like i think it's good to have different companies like one's chinese and one's giant corporate oligopoly or whatever so it's just different uh evil uh companies fighting for our videos or our attention so i just like to diversify it in case one of them one of them gets banned or canceled yeah that's a good idea. Okay, so I checked his TikTok account. It says 17 hours ago.

So he's still up and running hard. He's just left Instagram. I wonder how many people have done that, left Instagram. Am I on the old guy platform now? Yeah, it's the new Facebook. I mean, they're both owned by Facebook. Yeah, wasn't there one called MySpace before Facebook? Is that one still around?

Is that still around, Will? I hope not. Oh, so no one even knows. No. Hans, I appreciate it thank you for having me on yeah you are a very unique

it's a very unique dialogue with you, discourse thank you I hope I wasn't too monotone definitely not I hope you had fun you were a guest in my house i hope you had fun even though we can see very clearly into your house i feel like you were a guest in my house yeah thank you so much for having me this was awesome i enjoyed talking with

you yes good all right well um tell your parents i said hi um uh my mom knows who you are already because she watches all the shows live and um okay and i'll and i'll stay in touch do you sleep by your phone can i text you 24 hours a day or do you sleep by your phone yeah you can text me whatever okay good i'll put it i put it on silent okay yeah me too me too all right uh don't text will that wills