The Sevan Podcast - #346 - Eli Wehbe

Episode Date: March 25, 2022

Author of the memoir "Mask: My race through the belly of hollywood to self-discovery". Eli Wehbe lived at the white-hot center of Los Angeles nightlife. More than a decade of hustle, scramble, and hard work put him at the pinnacle of the life he always wanted: celebrity friends, beautiful women, fast cars, popularity—and plenty of sex, drugs, and rock and roll. He achieved his dream—and it left him empty. Then, a tragedy threatened to destroy him and everything he worked for. Partners: https://www.paperstcoffee.com/ - THE COFFEE I DRINK! https://www.barbelljobs.com/ - WORLD'S #1 JOB BOARD FOR THE CROSSFIT COMMUNITY https://thesevanpodcast.com/ - OUR WEBSITE https://sogosnacks.com/ - SAVE15 coupon code - the snacks my kids eat - tell them Sevan sent you! https://www.hybridathletics.com/produ... - THE BARBELL BRUSH https://asrx.com/collections/the-real... - OUR TSHIRTS Support the show Partners: https://cahormones.com/ - CODE "SEVAN" FOR FREE CONSULTATION https://www.paperstcoffee.com/ - THE COFFEE I DRINK! https://asrx.com/collections/the-real... - OUR TSHIRTS ... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Run! Collect more moments with more ways to earn. Air Mile. Bam, we're live. Caleb, thanks for hosting the show bye bye ah good to have you on dude i'm happy to be here brother hey i like that oh you have a video camera pointed at you i do that's oh and that's how you have that shallow depth of field that's the only reason you are slick. You are slick.

Yeah. I love having guests like you on because then I can brag that I read a book, even though I just listened to it. I can be like, oh, yes. Like my wife's like, where are you going? I go, well, just I'm going to do a podcast with this book, this author of this book I read. Like I was like, just a little swag. Yeah. You did the whole audible. Yeah, I did. It was great. And it has all of the, um,

it has your, your homeboy interviewing you in kind of in between chapters, getting like deeper insight into, into the chapters. Yeah. My boy, Woody, he was in like a, a really big rock band called, uh, our last night. He's got two bestselling books too. I mean, the guy knows how to talk, so I think he made the, he he made it more interesting was that your idea to do that for your book or did your agent or your manager was no i didn't have an agent or manager i uh i was just like yo this would be dope to run it like podcast style you know i've never seen that i listened to a lot of audiobooks i've never i've never seen anyone else do that the only other person that did it was uh david goggins ran it not the same exact way, but pretty similar. I think he's probably the only other person.

It's, it's pretty seamless. How did, how did you do that? Did he come in with notes and then, and then he's like, okay, let's talk about chapter one. Okay. Let's talk about chapter two or. We actually just did everything off the riff. It was kind of crazy because he, uh, he he had printed out like he had printed out the whole

book and then he started like making notes as he was reading it and then i was just like when we went in i was like yo let's just do everything off the riff whatever comes to your mind stop and let's just start talking and that was it we didn't edit anything we just went just we just did it super raw you know um what was the um why did you write this book you're so young to have already written your first uh autobiography man i went through uh you know as you read i went through like the whole cancel culture and and i and i kind of wanted to just kind of talk about i wanted to get my whole the whole truth of that story out there and then i kind of wanted to talk about you know just what kind of the the truth that's going on you know, behind closed doors and the belly of Hollywood.

And I did it in a way where I use myself as a references instead of bringing other people down in that sense. But I was able to just kind of like explain just how the whole industry works and how there was no happiness for me, at least inside there. And how I was able to start living my truth now and be able to share that and be in service with others. Uh, excuse me one second while I whoop someone's ass in the comments. Uh, why wouldn't he write a book? Listen, Corey, you motherfucker. Why wouldn't you write a book? Why haven't you written a book? God damn it. Go, go back to jumping rope. You just, just, just listen, Corey. You don't know more comments from you get your hands off the keyboard i didn't realize you book and do a live comment oh yes yes this is it's a rowdy it's a

rowdy talk shitting talk shitting group yeah yeah yeah yeah let's get it fucking pop in there good good good cory you're a good dude double unders thousand double unders while you listen to the show buddy um so so uh caleb can you bring up a cover of the book the book is actually really really really really cool uh i listened to it um on audio as i drove my kids all around town to all of their shit and it was sweet and it's a fun book because those of us who don't live in the la scene it gives us a peek into it in a really cool way and it could have been a downer book because you know it's um sex drugs and rock and roll. Not enough sex, but lots of drugs and rock and roll. And you need to do a tell all sex book, by the way.

And it is a it's a fun read, but with tons of lessons. So it's a guy who's giving us a fun peek so that we can kind of live through him vicariously. And then there's, you know, like any good journey, there is a, um, there are some demons to battle and, uh, and it's fun to watch how, um, Eli overcomes it. And since a lot of my people who listen to this podcast are hardcore CrossFitters and are pretty hardcore extreme athletes, I think you'll be very happy with some of the outlets that, um, Eli finds. Uh, so, so when you, when you think about is writing the book, your idea. So there's, there's a couple of easy things to say. I could be like, Oh, you wrote the book because you didn't

like the way you were treated in the press. You wanted to get your own voice out there, or you wrote the book for your own, um, psychotherapy, your own, you know, cathartic, you know, it's like taking a massive shit, you know, um, it was like maybe fasting for you. You wanted to purge yourself of it. What, how does it, how did it happen? It was crazy. Cause I, when I was going through when I was going through all the bad press and the council culture stuff, I had just kind of disconnected from the world. I just changed my phone number. I disconnected my social media, sat in front of the mirror one day, just started bawling. I was like, yo, how the fuck am I going to turn this shit around?

And then I was like, you know what? Everyone's always wanted me to write a book on my life. I live such a gnarly life. Oh, so people have said that to you. Oh, dude, you gotta write a book. Yeah, for sure. You know, with, you know, the celebrity connections that I had and friendships, the club that I ran, all that type of shit.

And everyone's like, yo, you just live the craziest lifestyle. Why don't you write a book about it? And at that time I was like, there's no way I can write a book on this. Like while I'm still in this industry. And when all that went down, I was like, fuck it. This is like the biggest kick in my ass to be like, yo, this is your chance to get out and, you know, change your life around. And I guess like when I went to write that book, the whole point of writing that book to me was

just if I could change one life with it, that's all that kind of mattered to me. And then besides your own a hundred percent. Wow. And, and do you remember the first day you sat down and started writing? Like, was it real? Were you like, Holy shit. Yeah, it was crazy. I'd never even finished. I'd never even read a full book in my entire life up until that month. And then what was that book? And what was that book? Um, I think it was rich roles, uh, finding ultra. Have you read that book or no? No, but I'm going to, is it good? Yeah, it's a fucking great book. Yeah, that was actually my friend Allie. I was like, yo, you got it.

Like she had been telling me about this guy forever. And when I was in the nightlife, like I didn't give a shit about like the health. I mean, I cared about the health world, but like the dudes that were like pushing all the good stuff out there and stuff. I wasn't paying attention to that. I was just paying attention to what was what was like what was in my world with nightlife and stuff. So, yeah, that was the book right there it's a fucking great book and uh do you know him i don't know him i think we have mutual friends he doesn't he doesn't actually live that far from me either and he does a lot of running as well too and uh no but we don't we don't personally know each other we've talked on uh you know instagram d here and there, but that's about it.

But yeah, I just got down to there. I read that book and then I started writing. I had no idea how to write. I just started Googling shit and then didn't really tell anybody what I was doing for months. I stayed off social media completely for eight months. I didn't even know that we had even riots going on here. Pandemic didn't even really happen for me. I was just literally getting up every day, meditating, reading, writing, reading writing running 15 20 miles per day and then just doing this on repeat every

single day oh shit so and you talk about that in the book which is just fascinating to me it's kind of like what a lot of people say when i talk to them about the news or what's going on they'll be like hey dude i have no idea i've completely unplugged you actually had riots going in your town that was like during the whole fer when George Floyd got got busted for fentanyl meth and ran into a cop and put his knee on him and he died. Right. That whole mess. Yeah, there was like one hundred thousand people on like Hollywood on Hollywood. I had no idea. I had no idea it was even going on. People were shopping for free in Beverly Hills. I had no idea it was even going on. People were shopping for free in Beverly Hills.

They still are. It's gnarly out here. Hey, total side subject. Do you think we're going to get a – do you think it'll ever go back to normal to where it's like – in my town in Santa Cruz, California, it's okay to steal stuff like $950 or less. That's what I was hearing. Yeah, do you think that ever goes away? Do you think we ever get a governor who's like, okay, everyone's going to be accountable and responsible for their behaviors again. And I think, I think, I think, I think things get fixed eventually, but I don't think anything's ever going back to normal. Like this is the fucking new normal now. You know what I'm saying? It's like this, like, I don't, and nothing's going back to the way it was two years ago. I thought that's for sure. Yeah. Is LA the – when I visit LA, like California in general, in my opinion, is really bad. It is the home of woke culture, blame other people, lack personal accountability, lack personal responsibility. I made it to the top, and instead of telling you how hard it was and how hard it worked, I'm going to feel sorry for you and throw you crumbs down and make you weak. But I think of LA as kind of the birthplace of that shit like when i go down there i'm like holy shit like is it is it is it yeah i

mean there's a lot there's definitely a lot of people like that but then there's definitely a lot of people like us i mean i mean we all got a sad fucking story we're carter motherfuckers you know like yeah i don't feel i'm not empathetic for any of those people man like we've all we're all going through shit every fucking day man like people just got a man to fuck up and just, we just live in a weak ass society right now, man. It's insane. And nobody wants to take accountability. Everybody wants to point fingers, but at themselves, but, but at themselves, you know, and it's just, it's just a gnarly time we're living in. Did you ever have a wake up moment? Like, were you ever, were you ever like realize that, Hey, feeling sorry and pity for people,

like maybe isn't the way to go. It's better to just tell people like, were you ever, were you ever like realize that, Hey, feeling sorry and pity for people, like maybe isn't the way to go. It's better to just tell people like, Hey, no one's coming for you. You got it. You got to do it. Yeah. You guys, I mean, I guess like when I went through everything, I knew that no one was coming to fucking save me. I knew no one's coming to help me. I was like, fuck it. You got to be around here and get the fuck up and figure it the fuck out. No one's, no one's coming to do this work for you. Especially at that time. Like I felt like the whole world was against me. So I didn't have a choice. It was either fucking go, go down, go down, go, go back downwards, go spiral, go get back on drugs and party and run away from it or fight it, fight it face forward and fucking

come back stronger. You guys, there's, although he changes the names in the book, there are people that you will figure out when you read the book that Eli rolled with the biggest names, everyone that you know, all the people you grew up with on Instagram, all the people who sing your favorite songs, all of these people make appearances throughout the book. And Eli was a very ambitious entrepreneur who became an intrapreneur. Are you familiar with that term, intrapreneur? Intrapreneur or entrepreneur? Intrapreneur.

That's a new one for me. Yeah, I just learned it. You are an amazing intrapreneur. You know what I was reading? Do you know who Patrick Bed David is? Sounds familiar. Armenian Assyrian guy, 6'5", worth several hundred million dollars, has an insurance company with like 20,000 employees. Anyway, he – entrepreneurs are people who act like entrepreneurs inside of a business.

And if you can find entrepreneurs, you're stoked because they just run with shit. And that's what you did. You entered the club scene, and basically every club you entered um you acted like it was your own and gave it your all like you're the kind of dude if you work for someone when you're in the bathroom if there was toilet paper on the ground you picked it up and threw it away yep 100 right yeah yeah i was i was just pumped it like i mean you know there was always a long haul play to me in my mind it was never like short term most of these guys that were coming into the game or just people that were promoting and working for clubs.

They just go to the next best thing, next best thing. But like, I always had loyalty with whoever I was with and it paid off in the long run. Yeah. There's not a lot of people like you. I mean,

I'm going to have to agree with you, man. It fucking isn't. It's, it's weird, right? Because it's a lot of hard work what you did. But the good thing is that there's not a lot of competition because there's not a lot of hard workers. But you have to kind of be in it for the long haul.

You can't be stealing 20s out of the drawer because you're in it for the long haul. 100%. I mean, the majority of people, man, they just can't see it. And in today's generation, it's just like everybody wants the QuickBook. That's just how it is. Nobody wants to work anymore. There's no hard work, just nothing, man. Like, it's just only getting worse and worse. It's bizarre. And, and you went and there's this whole culture of people who'd be like, you need to have boundaries and you need to tell people what you want and you need to stand up for what you believe. But I loved your story of when you got the job at the Warwick. Didn't ask him how much it cost. Didn't know that one was that was that playoffs at the start. Oh, okay. Sorry. Yeah, that's a playoffs playoffs at the start. Go ahead, though. No, no, you go ahead. I want to hear that story. Like from your mouth. Yeah, I mean, that one was crazy. I think I was just at the start of it. I just got in there,

you know, finagled my way in there and then just started working for maybe like over a month with no pay, created my own job title. And then, and started from there. And then I eventually got like 400 bucks a weekend, something like that. But it wasn't even about the money. It was all the connections that I was making. And that's like, I, and I saw the long picture with it, you know? And you work for free basically. Yeah. And from there you climb the charts over how many years to eventually get into the most prestigious nightclub in L.A.? I think I was with the Playhouse guys for like five years.

Then I was with the Warwick guys maybe for like two years or less. And then I partnered with the Warwick guys. Yeah, it's nuts. Is the club scene in L.A. la um dangerous i mean what do you define dangerous um uh obviously there's a lot of temptation there but you know through drugs and alcohol and all that fun stuff but by uh physically dangerous like um like any night you could get a bottle broken over your head or a fight breaking i mean yeah i mean anything like that can happen anywhere you go you know what i'm saying i mean people are fucking

drunk they're high like you know then you got crazy exes here crazy exes there but like i rarely like i mean i think at the start of my career i used to see like gnarly fights and then things slow down but i mean obviously i haven't been out to the club and i like a real club or anything in like almost two years now but i mean i heard shit's been fucking hectic with people leaving the clubs now because these dudes are waiting for the people with money to leave and then they're following home and then fucking beating them taking all their shit robbing their houses it's just fucking it's just crazy there's like a new story like two days ago they in the middle of a fucking day in beverly hills they just fucking stole like five million dollars worth i think five million dollars i'm not exactly sure but like just all this jewelry from a fucking window in the middle of broad daylight in beverly hills

fucking masks on breaking everything and just dipping out in a really nice area too dude it's just crazy is that the area over there by i only know um there was a hotel there i used to stay at two hotels i used to stay at the four Seasons over there and the Montage and the Montage was kind of on that fancy yeah that's yeah that's in a nice area this area was super nice too I don't know the exact cross streets of it I know where it's at in the top of my head but it's pretty close to there

I mean there was people getting robbed and like for their fucking watches eating outside of El Pisteo and all these you know fancy restaurants and stuff I mean unless like you're, you know, you got like some private security guard rolling around with you all the time. It's just like, there's not much more you can do. And these guys aren't, there's no, there's no consequences for these dudes. It's just crazy.

Yeah. At some point, um, these people who have voted these people in power are going to have to say enough is enough. I think it's, i think it's getting there man i think it's fucking getting there it's so fun christy there you go this is at the jewelry store holy shit you're not joking yeah man is the video on there yeah watch that video it's bizarre oh wait no that's not that's like the after unless they play like the before how do they not actually have the video on there? Wow.

Did you see fights every night in the clubs when you were there? No, it was rare, man. I mean, like things would get broken up pretty quick, especially our club. We didn't have like it wasn't too rowdy. It wasn't like that. But I mean, dude, you know, like you're dealing with people that are just fucking out of their minds every night. So there's no, like, it's just,

it's just one year and out the other. It doesn't matter. There's no, there's no, like, there's no fixing anything with these people at that time. Right. Like there's,

if they're angry, they're fighting. It doesn't like, there's no stopping them. It's just like, it's just, you're talking to a wall. I dealt with it forever.

No. Yeah. You described it perfectly. It's like talking to a wall. What was your position in the nightclub i know you talked about i was i was an operating partner and what does that mean for those of us who have no fucking clue i mean to other people i'd be considered an owner right like there's like a few partners and then there's investors and stuff and then there's the face guys and like we were the face i was like pretty much the face of the club

and then i had pretty much two other guys that were with me that was always there as well and um they're considered managing partners or operators as well too but to the outside world like okay those are the owners you know what i'm saying well they're just like there's like you know there's always like a guy that puts up most of the money then you have the investors and you have the managing partners you have the managing operators and then that's just kind of how that situation works. And, but, but, but in terms of like the guests, they viewed you as the host of hosts. Pretty much. I was the face of the club, you know?

So majority of any celebrities coming in a majority of the money spent there, I was bringing in like, um, I pretty much had it all from A to Z with everything I was doing. But that was just, you know, 10 years of just fucking grind and working and, you know, just being very authentic and real with people. Because in this city, you know, all you see is bullshit. So most people can read you in the first 30 seconds. So, you know, I definitely had some times where, you know, ego took over, you know, when money started coming in, and, you know, the fame started coming around and stuff but for the most part I

still stayed true to who I was from day one and you know people saw that and they just were like alright cool like yeah maybe Eli was like this every once in there but he's a good dude he's got a good heart and that's why we fuck with them like he's just real he doesn't fucking bullshit there's no bullshit you know that's like me too like I can meet somebody in the first 30 seconds back I don't like that motherfucker i do like that's it like i i just know like and if i get a bad feeling like it's like a 0.01 chance that i was wrong about it but because it's i'm usually always fucking right with my gut with people just right off the break during your during your lowest moment

is that moment in the book where you're going through those trials i don't want to ruin the book for anyone. Were those the lowest moments in your life or had you experienced that in your youth at all? I'd say that was pretty rock bottom for me. Yeah, I'd say that moment was rock bottom. Being accused of shit you never did was the worst feeling. And then having to have the public against you without even having your voice out there was like one of the toughest things i had dealt with and uh you know i've had other rock bottoms where you know you know hitting hitting lows with drugs

and stuff like that but that was just on a whole nother level i had felt like i was like the most loved dude in la to the most hated within 24 hours off of being scammed in a fucking story had nothing to do with um did you ever contemplate suicide i'd say i thought about it and i was like when i was at my lowest point i was like man this is what it fucking feels like i would never i would have never done it but i had felt it like i was like fuck this is what it fucking feels like this is it right here like this is like where it's at but i'm just a fighter man like you know i i won't be outworked you cannot outwork me man like i will figure it the fuck out like i will just get back up and figure it out and that time i had no idea what i was gonna do at that time at that low point i didn't even know i was gonna write a book

i just had no idea what i was going to do yet and then i think that disconnect from social media and the media in general like was the best thing that ever happened to me. I just got to like really focus on like what mattered and what I could do, what was best for myself in that moment, how I was going to put things around. I mean, if I was sitting on social media, there's no way I would have been fucking consumed and all the negativity and the whole world was like fucking falling apart at that time. It was like at the worst, you know, like, and just watching all this at the same time, I wouldn't have been able to do it.

So just that like daily meditation, the daily running is what really did it for me, man. Like running those 15, 20 miles per day. I was running like a hundred miles per week for almost a year. And during that running, yeah. And during that running, man, like, whew, so many ideas, so much, so many highs, like it was great, man. It was, it's literally that thing that, that running kept me going. And that's why I still do it, man. Like every time I start to like, I'll take a day off here or two. And then I'm like, and then I get back out there and I'm like, nah, this is why I fucking run right here. Like there's just so much growth that comes out of it every time through that voluntary

suffering, man. Caleb, will you bring up the cover of the book again? When you titled this book mask, you refer to the mask a bunch late in the late chapters of the book and putting on the mask. Will you describe that to us for the people who haven't read your book yet? What, why you titled this book, the mask or mask? Yeah, pretty much. I had no idea what I was going to title the book. I had all these ideas in my head. And then I, and then I think I can't remember what chapter it was in maybe chapter five or six, one of the two I talk about, you know, getting, you know, I talk about getting sober for

a little bit and going through a breakup or whatever and then putting the mask right back on putting all the bullshit back on you know starting to do drugs again starting to come out smile act like i'm having a fucking great time act like i'm getting along with everybody on the outside looking like i was the fucking man but i was just rotting on the inside so that mask just kept coming on and on and on and i'd go home i take the mask off be fucking miserable put the mask back on the second i was back out in the dinners and the clubs and the restaurants you know would you have talks with yourself too like okay eli you're going out put the fucking mask on like would you hear that yeah for sure man like i just it just felt fake you know like it just felt like like every time i

would just shake people's hands i didn't like or this and that or people that i know fucked me over i was just like fuck like this shit's getting draining man it was it started to hit me like when i turned 30 i'm 33 now it started to hit me when i turned 30 like just wanting to get off drugs all that stuff like not even wanting to be out because i started getting into running maybe in 2018 and then um i was getting up early like even on the days that I was out. So I'd be out sometimes an after party or a club fucked up to like five or six in the morning. Then I'd still get up at eight and then be like, fuck it. I'm going to go run eight miles, you know, or like whatever it was. Yeah. That's some neurotic shit. I love it.

So, you know, people are, I'd go like on a two day fucking bender and everyone's sleeping for like a day and a half after. And they're like, you know, this motherfucker just posted equinox like he ran 10 miles like what the fuck is wrong with this guy and i was just like i i knew i wasn't gonna i on the outside appearance in the public uh appearance i didn't want to fall off so i was like fuck it if i still get up and go grind it looks like i'm still on my shit but i was fucking miserable during those runs like it was crushing me that's an interesting way to leverage the ego though that is how the ego should be leveraged yeah man it was uh i don't know i i i was living like three different lives man it was it was nuts i was fucking just living like three different fucking lives like i had the whole daytime the whole night time and then i barely sleep coming off

fucking drugs and alcohol go straight to the fucking gym i go to the gym usually i was going to the gym twice a day even back then because it felt like my only escape from this fucking dark ass world that i was living in that everyone thought was so glamorous and that i was just having this great fucking time in but i knew it was like my time just kind of be off my phone turn on some fucking music and zone out and go run and work out and like i was just away from it all nobody could fucking bother me at that time what what is what's the best drug like for fun to have fun i like i like anything with voluntary suffering man so like for me anything voluntary suffering man i thought you were gonna say well if you can get some pure mdma and a couple really good friends you know what's funny is is i mean you would have asked me that four years ago yeah i

would have fucking told you that but i know there's no high compared to like this fucking high with suffering man like i i've done it all you know what i'm saying i've done it from fucking a to z and like the dopamine hit and this shit just it stays at last you know it's just kind of like the cold point i cold plunge every day too i hit it up uh i hit it like a six minute cold plunge every day on 39 degrees and I fucking hate getting in that thing. But every time I get out, I'm like, fuck man, this shit I'm in some fire. It just feels so good. What do you use for your cold plunge? What tub?

Um, it's a company called the cold plunge. Oh, have you heard of that? Have you heard of that? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I actually started working with them now and started doing stuff, uh, celebrity seating and stuff like that with them and helping them out. And, uh, yeah, their, their plunge is great, man. It's something that I would say. What does that mean? Celebrity seating? You go over to some singer's house, set the tub up and you're like, some friend of yours and you're like, dude, jump in,

tell me what you think and make a quick, I send them plunges or I just send out plunges to, you know, you know, I have like a Rolodex of people that I still talk to and that I'm connected with. And, you know, um, sending one out to Diplo right now, send one out to Nicole Scherzinger, you know, there's just, there's a bunch of people. Um, when you, when you turned your phone off during the chaos, you guys got to read this book mask. It's so fun. It is a fun book, by the way. Has anyone ever told you it's a fun book? this book mask it's so fun it is a fun book by the way has anyone ever told you it's a fun book um i haven't heard the word fun inspiring you know motivating a lot of people it's that too but i'm old so like i i went through that in my almost exactly what you went through in your 30s

too you know just just different characters and different scene but um uh but i guess it's kind of like do you know sid hartha have you read that book? Sid Hartha by Herman Hessa? I haven't read it. You, I'm going to send you a link to it. You got to read that book. It's basically the story of the Buddha, but he banged some chick, gets her pregnant and then has to roll. At least you didn't get anyone pregnant.

Did you get anyone pregnant? Not that I know of. When you turned your phone, when you turned your phone back on, how many text messages were on it? Was it nuts? I'm going to tell you what happened. So I changed my phone number off the break so i got a new number and like i only gave it to like five or six people or something so what was crazy is i was i still had my instagram up for like five

days before i deactivated there was so many dms there of like support and people like you're gonna get through this and celebrities and people but i never saw it because i didn't go look through it because i didn't know if it was negative i know if it was positive and i wasn't in the right mental state and then the dude that had fucked with me that i talk about in the book i was like fuck i wonder if this dude's gonna like now that he knows my number's changed what if he's gonna try to get my old number and act like it's me and start reaching out to people or whatever so i was like fuck i need to get my old number but i've had that number since i was 17 years old and probably like 15 000 people that have that phone number right right wow that would be some fucking

conniving shit if that dude i mean he already did a lot of conniving ass shit so i was like this motherfucker's probably this is probably right up his alley he's a smart dude he knows the fuck he's doing so hey i know who that guy is right i think i figured out who he is yeah i don't want to give him any credit or no but what if it's so crazy to think that he does that that person's like that that person has too much going on to be mean it's so fucking crazy it's so fucking bizarre yeah yeah it's it's bizarre man but um uh what were we saying your phone so your phone can't so so you get your phone number back i got the phone number back like on the last day.

So now I have two phone numbers. I have my old number and I have that number. And it was crazy how many people were texting me like two months after the incident. They had no idea even changing my number. And then a lot of people were like, yo, like we couldn't reach out to you. We tried hitting you up.

So like, we don't know what you're talking about with people like you were saying that like kind of people turn their backs or whatever. But like a lot of us did try to reach out to you. And I said, no, I said that to the people that I tried to reach out to that never had said anything back to me but i and then there was a lot of people man like a lot of people they all wrote i mean my inst like the day that i reactivated my instagram i had to stay up for 24 hours straight to even get back to like 50 of the messages it was it was so fucking bizarre yeah it was bizarre i cried i don't I've never cried of joy. And I

cried of joy that day. I was just like, wow, man. Like I, it just felt good. It felt good to just have like, I felt like the whole world is against me. And then everyone was like, fuck that we're with him. Like we support him, you know? And like, it felt great, man. It was that running video. Did you watch the running video? I did. Yeah. Yeah. That was it. It's very cool. Um, when I was, Yeah, that was it. It's very cool. When I was, when I, I was 34 when I found CrossFit and I was a pack a day clove smoker, you know, those Dijarmes cloves, the brown ones, crack, crackle ones.

And I was smoking. And then after about three or four months, I was like, Hey, I can't do both. I can't do CrossFit and smoke. Did you have that moment too, ever with running? Like, Hey, I can't, I can't. I said I can't, but I was, I'd be like, yo, here, I'm going to fucking go through an eight ball fucking blow and fucking still get up or go run. So wide awake on this motherfucker just to get my eight or eight, 10 miles. And you know, I was fucking, I was gnarly, man. I don't, I now, when I look back on it, like, I didn't even think I was crazy back then. And then after

I wrote the book, I was like, fuck, I was fucking bizarre. And I didn't even think i was crazy back then and then after i wrote the book i was like fuck i was fucking bizarre and i didn't think i had any problems you know i'm hanging around the same environment doing the same shit so they're like no you're good man like we all do this you only do it when you're out and i'm like motherfucker i'm out every night what are you talking about like right he's like yeah you know so like you're you're you're talking to people with the same issues of you trying to get some sort of satisfaction from them or or some sort of agreement that like what you're doing is fine and nah man it it just it was just so bizarre but yeah i definitely went through times where i'm like fuck like i could be like way better at running or way better at this by july what i would do though if i had like a marathon was i'd go sober for like three and a half weeks before like completely and then after

the marathon i go celebrate it with fucking you know alcohol and drugs so how did you get how did you muster that discipline you didn't go through withdrawals did you turn into an asshole like after i stopped yeah like if you're like okay i'm gonna run a marathon los angeles marathon i did not do coke for three weeks um and then run the marathon like would you just turn into an asshole did you smoke did you smoke cigarettes no I never smoked blowing alcohol was probably like the worst for me um no nicotine no nicotine more it was mainly blow but like I wouldn't just do it just to do it it would be like you know if we were out and other people were doing it and we were out with other important people or some celebrities or this and that.

And like, I never wanted to feel like the outcast. So I was like, fuck it. I'm just going to get lit up with them. And then it turned into like an addiction, I would say, you know, at that point. And then it just, you know, you know, it's always fun at the start. And then, you know, as you get older and you're like, fuck, five, six years go by and you're still doing this shit. You're like, fuck, what the fuck am I doing? Like, this is just some straight fucking loser shit. Like, I need to get off of this, you know, as you get older and you're like, fuck five, six years go by and you're still doing this shit. You're like, fuck, what the fuck am I doing? Like, this is just some straight fucking loser shit. Like I need to get off of this, you know? So I didn't go through any withdrawals though.

I've been like with anything in my life, I just like my mindset is strong. I'm just like, if I want to commit to something, I'm going to do it. Like no matter, no one, nobody can tell me any different. Like it's just with anything, like it doesn't matter what it is. So even when I stopped drinking and doing drugs almost two years ago now um i never like i can still go around old environments and it doesn't bother me like i just don't i don't even have like i just go oh thank god i'm not doing that shit anymore you know that's a goodbye has anyone approached you about making a movie actually in the talks with a big company right now. We're doing a documentary. And is that exciting? Yeah.

Or terrifying? No, no. I'd love to do it. And I have so many cool ideas. That was kind of like an idea that went through my head when I was writing the book, too. I was like, dope, this turns into a docuseries, a documentary. This fucking story will change so many lives. And it'll be so dope if we just get it done right.

And then somebody approached me like a month ago. So we've been in the talks about it. What about a series like mad men, but instead of it being, um, I've never seen mad men. Oh, it's,

uh, they are, it's an ad agency, I think in the fifties. Right. And it just shows, it's like, I don't know,

seven or eight seasons. And it's really cool, but it would be kind of, you could do like just seasons at a club and you could write that i mean shit you got writing chops dude i mean we could get down what if you would have started writing it and someone would have been like the first person who you gave it to well how much did you write before you shared it with someone what's crazy is i didn't really share it with anybody i i wrote for four months straight and i got like 400 and something pages done and then um i shared it maybe with one person once like i've gotten with an editor and we started kind of

grinding on it and then i gave it to one person like a lot of my friends are like let me read it let me read it and i was like no I don't want anybody to read it yet. Like, I just want to, I just want it like more, kind of like more towards the ending piece. But, but the editor that had read it,

he was just like, yo, did you take any deals? And I was like, no. And he's like, fuck it. I want to work on this with you.

You have like a fucking really dope story. We just need to construct this better into a book. You know, obviously it's your first time writing. I was like, cool, let's get down on it. And that's

just how it went and when i i knew his opinion was good because he had worked on a lot of he had worked on a lot of dope things before so um i kind of just trusted him and also i let my lawyer read it you know when i when i read it he was just like yo this book's fucking awesome you know so that was it that was enough for me but i guess if i would have given it i wasn't i wasn't worried that anyone was going to tell me they didn't fucking like it i got i got a pretty good intuition for everything when i wrote when i reread it like a bunch of times like all right this book's fucking solid this is going to change some lives i got a good story to tell yeah it's crazy how much you've done and what and the the part that i took away from it you know

some people are obviously going to take the journey and keep your head up and the drug use and about friendship but the part that i for me the most impactful part was the grind it was is actually the daily the first 80 the first 80 percent of the book of just you you setting goal you set in your mind of wanting to own a club being a fucking absolute nobody and uh and doing it by the way you should you would you would love this book that patrick bet david wrote it's called um your next five moves that's the guy was telling you about the armenian assyrian guy his parents his parents he is he he escaped tehran in uh can you imagine how tall are you six two oh shit so you're tall too i'm armenian my my parents are from lebanon too i've been back

there a bunch of times i got oh yeah my dad's from lebanon and um fuck i'm five five and patrick bet david six five what the fuck is going on here why don't you guys be like five ten and i'll be five ten give me a few inches they're fucking you up man they got those uh they got those things you can install on the shoes now fucking raise raise that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, I'm actually thinking about going barefoot. I was barefoot once for two years. Did you? Were you running outside and everything?

I just didn't. No, I was. I got drunk. I was homeless. And I got drunk at a party and I left my shoes there. And then I was like sleeping somewhere. And I just never got my shoes back. And so I was just home.

I just didn't wear shoes for two years. I was in my 20s. And was amazing it was way this is way before the shoeless thing was a big deal i lived in santa barbara on the beach so it was but i was actually i was like maybe i'll go a year fuck it i'll just go a year without shoes and just again just not no matter what not wear shoes for a year how'd that go i haven't done it you want to know why i'm not doing it i think you said you did it for two years oh the two-year part was amazing dude after after two years with no shoes you could step on a thumbtack you're nothing you're bomb proof i actually went down to um cabo san lucas i drove in a car to cabo san lucas completely

barefoot and the natives there who were on the beach, they were like, they couldn't walk barefoot because the sand was too hot. And I'm like, nope, not a problem. I did step on a puffer fish down there and that went through my foot and put my whole leg to sleep for about five hours, scared the shit out of me. So yeah, your, your, uh, your foot wasn't fully bulletproof. Not fully, not puffer fish. Not puffer proof. Not fully, not puffer fish. Not puffer proof.

So the part of the book that really, that I just inspired me and reminded me is like, hey, don't quit. Like it's crazy that you attained what you wanted. And then of course, then just like everything in life, you know, it's all the wisest people say in the world, kind of careful what you wish for, because you're going to get to the top of the mountain and it's not going to be the way you think it is and that's and that's what kind of

what happened to you you got to the top of the mountain you're like oh there's some rough shit up here that's why i was saying you know it's lonely at the top because there's a lot of truth to it man and that's like one of the chapters in the book but you know some people are like it's lonely at the bottom too i'd rather be at the fucking top but you know um yeah and it's funny that you just said something about never quitting i was literally just i was I was running 16 miles, like literally right before we got on here. And like, I was fucking tired. You already ran 16 miles today? Yeah.

It's just, that's just the light work for me today. Dang. Yeah. So I was running today and every day is different. You know, some days I just feel good. Some days I don't. And like today I got to like mile 14 and I was like, fuck, today sucks. And then I was like, never quit, motherfucker.

Never fucking quit. And I know that's just, today sucks. And then I was like, never quit, motherfucker. Never fucking quit. And I know that's just like what I live by. Like I, you know, like I've said before, like you can, you can be quicker than me. You can be stronger than me. You can be all kinds of things, but you ain't not working me. Like I will fucking go until I fucking die. Like that's just how I operate. Like you ain't beating me and you can't defeat a motherfucker that never quit.

So it's like, that's just like my mindset with everything I do, whether it's running or something that I commit to or committing to writing the book, whatever it was. Like I said, I'm getting it done. I'm doing it. And nobody can tell me any different. Like, that's just how it's going to be. You could try to take me out. You ain't going to outwork me.

I can promise you that I'm a fucking grinder. Um, there is a love interest in the book i can't remember the name you give her dakota dakota i apologize thank you oh yeah dakota came uh in in december of 2014 and i mean there's i mean there's people can kind of figure out figure out who that is if they do enough you know homework on it but that's it um that was that was a hard part that was harder that was a hard part for me in the book because it's so obvious you liked her and i think that um is she still in your life she's not out of my life but like she's i hadn't i hadn't spoken to her in like two years after everything i went down in 2020 and then i ran into her at a a grocery store and we had like a really a really beautiful

conversation for like three hours she's engaged now i i i'm not you know i know i i love her at a distance now and i'm really happy for like i could go to her wedding like that's just kind of where i'm at in my life she just played she was just such a catalyst to my growth and i'll always love her for that you know like she was a big reason i made a lot of my changes in my life and it's hard to say that for you know anybody in my life yeah i was rooting for you guys man yeah like she came like she she'd be in the book and then she'd leave and i'd be like oh that sucks and then she'd come back and be like yeah and then she'd leave again be like oh yeah come back in i'm like yeah and i was like oh fuck i got i'm like no one if you haven't read the book for this part of the podcast probably didn't give it but man that's another she's a huge part of the story that's weaved through so you have a guy who's on

a career path who has a goal to be the best then you have the the love the love then you have the bad guys and then you have the fucking big like fucking getting nuked towards the end of the book and then you gotta overcome that and and really there's not much there's like you overcome it but it's a little bit of a cliffhanger because you are so young still right like we're like oh shit he did all this and he's only 30 something or 20 something yeah yeah um yeah we were like me and her were such like a known we were like a like a known a known couple publicly for so long so i think anyone that kind of knew my path knew exactly who she was and i think anyone knew coming on you could kind of

figure it out with the fucking internet and nowadays i mean it's not that hard but uh yeah dude she's i was so disappointed when i figured out who some of the people were i was like oh man yeah i mean excited for you because it's fun because it it's it's all a a level a game level 10 people but it's it was so depressing to think some of those people are assholes like that yeah i mean you know majority of the people i met out here you know weren't the greatest fucking people but i also met some really fucking amazing people along this journey. And, uh, I don't take back any of it, man. I don't, I don't have any regrets and I don't take back any of it, man. I just, you know, I wouldn't be where I'm at today or who I am today without any of those experiences.

Um, I went to, uh, UC Santa Barbara about 110 miles North of you. There's a town there called Isla isla vista you may have heard of it uh college town right on the beach and i remember there was this really attractive girl came uh one summer from i'm making this up i forget minnesota and she hung out there for like three months and then she i remember what she goes hey i'm going back home and i go oh how come and she goes because in my town i'm the hottest fucking chick in here. I'm like a fucking seven. I'm like, Oh fuck. We just saw a meme the other day about that. It's like when you're a,

when you're attending your hometown, but a five or six in Miami or LA and I was fucking dying. And so in that regard to throw LA a huge bone, you're jumping – people are knowingly jumping in the pond with all the level 10s, whatever the metric is, perfect eyebrows. I mean you picked the whatever the fuck metric is. I thought perspective right right right um and so you can't regret i mean anytime i mean it's the nfl of um of that scene whatever that scene is there is no there is nowhere higher like some people might want to say new york or or miami but i don't think. I've been to all those places. LA is the pinnacle. Yeah.

Whatever game is going on there, those motherfuckers are like all the – those are the pros. Yeah. LA is for sure the pinnacle, man. I feel like LA is one of the toughest cities to make it in. You got to fucking just – you just got to have just a strong backbone, man. Like you cannot take shit from people. Yeah. That's you.

No, no, no. it's not me not i'm go up up here in santa cruz isolated between the mountains and the ocean being a pussy i am not made for that shit um but but it's crazy that um and so it's you're you are kind of the manager of the fish tank so all the sharks swam in the fish tank and you were like the manager of the fish tank and then you kind of like fell into the fish tank and swam with the sharks a little bit. Yeah, that mask, that mask. I put on the teeth and the fucking the grit and I fucking got in that bitch. I put on the fins and I get home. I take the fins off. I take the teeth out. And then, you know, it's back to it again. It's a fucking it's a doggy dog world out here, man.

There's no room for emotions what would someone oh yeah that would kill me um would do would someone come in who is famous let's say see you at the door and then instead of like partying just talk to you all night i'm trying to like get a sense of like you know what what I mean? Let's say, um, uh, so let's just, um, uh, I'll make up something just completely ridiculous. Who's the horse,

uh, um, horror story, uh, guy, um, shit. He wrote the book on writing.

Who's the guy who writes horror books. The famous guy lives on the East coast. Okay. Let me make it someone else. Um, Tom Selleck walks into the club and he says hey what's up can i get a table and you're like tom what's up i loved your fucking most recent movie um yeah oh yeah stephen king yeah yeah let's say stephen king he comes in in his wheelchair and you're like

stephen i read all your shit what's up dude and the next thing you know you're at the you're hanging with them and fucking five hours pass by and you can't even do your job because he's fucking talking to you and you're just hanging with him. Oh, yeah. There's definitely been times like that. I mean, some of the times, though, it depends on who the celebrity is or who the person is. Some of them. They're so big, you can't be like, hey, motherfucker, just go drink and stand in the corner and leave me alone. FanDuel Casino's exclusive live dealer studio has your chance at the number one feeling, winning.

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Yeah, but I think like when you also have like a title there too. Okay, cool. You guys are one of the partners here. Boom, boom, boom. Then we start shooting the shit and we get along. Then we switch numbers. That's kind of how a lot of the relationships started with a lot of the people. Then some of them, they're either fucked up or don't want to talk or fucking going through something or running away for something. They're just fucking dicks and they're in the fucking corner.

They're just sitting there and they don't talk to you. I wasn't – if anybody was rude to me, for the part i'd be like fucking i ain't taking care of them like someone else can i'm good like i i just don't got time for none of that shit and a lot a lot of that like a lot of some of my relationships with some really big people started out like that and they respected me because i didn't like just get down on my fucking knees and do what they asked i was like fuck this dude like i was like i ain't doing shit you know like there get down on my fucking knees and do what they asked. I was like, fuck this dude. Like I was like, I ain't doing shit. You know, like there's no, there's no way. And then they would come around and be like, yo, I've never had anybody like, like not bow down to me.

So like, I respect you for that, blah, blah, blah. And that's how some of those, you know, relationships mended down the road. Like, so, so someone like, um, P Diddy might walk in, he's got three bouncers and the whole, and you're like, Hey, what's up brother? How are you doing? You need a table. And maybe he's got his back to you the whole fucking time and won't and won't even turn around and face you uh-huh uh i mean i guess like like that kind of shit no i mean in la like most that i would say 99.9 of the time no celebrity just walking up they know somebody before they're coming so it's rare

for that to happen maybe back in the day sometimes they're like oh. Like so-and-so just like pulled up to the door. I'm like, who booked them or who brought them in? Nobody. He just walked up and then boom, then, then you go talk to them. And then they're usually nice because they don't know anybody there.

And they get to know us. So like Bill Murray, like Bill Murray walks up. Did you ever have Bill Murray come in the club? I don't think we had Bill Murray come to the club. Oh, that would have been crazy. Yeah.

I'm old. I'm old. Sorry. Sorry. I'm old. We've had a lot, a lot of fucking, a lot of fucking characters for sure. But, uh, it's funny. Cause when I got into nightlife, it was like, that was my goal. Right. I was like, fuck it. Cause when I was younger,

I was like, wanted to be looked up to. I wanted to be, I didn't know how I wanted to be in service for others, but I wanted, I wanted to be like a motivation or inspiration when I was younger as well, too. And I was like, fuck it. If I could just be the man at the nightclub everyone's gonna have to go through me i'm all the celebrities are going there all the actors are going there all the models are going there this will be the easiest way to fucking connect with everybody and it worked it's what had happened i wouldn't say today today in today's time it's the same anymore now it's like you know most of these girls to go meet dudes or vice versa

whatever like it's just a dm like you know we don't you don't got to do all this nightclub shit and buying bottles and all this and that still going on but not to the extent from before you know what i'm saying like you can see somebody's whole life on social media now so it's not like you have to just go out there and hope to like run into like a big celebrity or something like that i mean you see what people are doing every damn day i i had i have this friend um she's really she's fucking really cool insanely charming and she used to work at a place there called the whiskey i guess that's a famous place in los angeles and and as the more i got to know her the people around me started telling me that she was a star fucker.

That's what they would refer to her as behind her back. And then the more I knew her, I started – after I knew her for five or six years, I started hearing crazy fucking stories. Crazy fucking stories. I guess that's – there's girls like that. And she's cool as shit too. Do you know what I mean? There's nothing like – I don't know. I mean she's cool as shit too do you know what i mean there's nothing like i don't know i mean she's she's hot as fuck too but not just like pretty like looking like there's something about

her you know yeah you know i know girls like that there's some girls that are really fucking dope and they're just like star fuckers like you said like she's like they this that's what they want it they i don't know what it is inside them they just can't not be around. I've been around it for so long that it's like nothing new to me. And then there's like, I'd be like, man, this girl is so dope. She's so cool.

But, uh, this part about it, like why, like why is she like this? Like with this, you know, and then that gets around quick,

you know, cause they start hopping here and there and back and forth. And, you know, the city, this, this fucking city talks. You can't fucking not keep a secret in this fucking city.

It is gossip, gossip city, this, this fucking city talks. You can't fucking not keep a secret in this fucking city. It is gossip, gossip city. That's for sure. And if you have just a young bunch of young, beautiful people together, it kind of reminds me of CrossFit. If you just have a young bunch of beautiful people together, people are going to fuck.

That's what they do. Yeah. That's just the way it goes. Sprinkle some Coke on, sprinkle some Coke on. Oh my God. Close start falling off. My God. Yeah. It's a gnarly town, man.

Is there a party you went to? That's the best party you ever went to? Like, Holy shit. Like, like, like that was just absolutely. I mean, it's so hard to say that this, this one party I threw with one of the guys in the book I told you about during Halloween and Bel Air. I mean, when you attended. That one you threw sounded crazy. Yeah, it was fucking bizarre.

It was a dope party. That's like the best painting you ever painted, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm talking about one you were in. I'm talking about like. It's so hard to like, just to give you an answer on that. Because like, I'm just trying to like think back. But there's just so many of them.

I mean, dude, I was out every night. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Like dope things every night and to me it was normal right like if i wasn't out somewhere i wasn't at a party or a dinner or a club like i was like yo what's wrong like why isn't anything going on tonight you know there's like you know for me to say like was a really good night like it had to be like a fucking really good fucking night like for me to say it because what impressed me i didn't i wasn't really impressed by much so um yeah it just it was it was tough for me to say it was a good party a good party to me meant like you know the vibes were good um you know the crowd you know the guests that were there were good it always came down to like if i knew a lot of the people there as well

you know so like it's just tough to say, but that party that we threw was one of my fucking favorite parties. That party was fucking, it was dope. That was a dope night. It's also kind of hard to say too, because... Oh man, I don't know if I can say this with my sister and my mom listening.

Do you remember the first time you took a girl's bra off? Yeah. It's really hard to top that moment in life. It's like no matter how many threesomes foursomes no matter all the crazy shit you ever done that's a pretty crazy time because you know in a few seconds you're gonna touch boobs for the first time in your life you're like what the fuck is going on right i mean i know i get for you maybe for you but i mean fuck i had a lot of fucking great nights so like it was i would think there would be like a lot of nights i couldn't get topped and

i'm like yeah that night was fire you know like i'm just talking about relativity compared to well i i don't know also about coke too people always would say to me the first i didn't do a lot of coke i probably done coke as much in one day that or in the whole life that you've done in one day i probably done coke like 10 or 20 times in my life but it never got people be like the first time is your best i thought every time was fucking no every time yeah every time was different too sometimes you got fucking really good shit sometimes you didn't depends who you're partying with depends who you're hanging out with yeah depends on the conversation i mean dude that's i mean i had just as many bad nights as good you know so like and it's all a temporary high.

Like, I mean, but fuck, I used to go so hard, bro. Like, you know, and you're staying up for a fucking day. Like, it's just that that's like a whole fucking, that's like a whole, that's a whole ultra in itself. That's a whole nother kind of ultra marathon. Like, you know, it's just, it's just, it's just gnarly. I don't miss it, man. I don't miss it at all. Like I.

I just want to hear all the sex stories. Yeah. I could probably write a book on like each week of the parties and shit that we had on each, on each week. I could write a new fucking book. scene for you you're in your bedroom sleeping some people passed out on your couch you wake up in the morning to get something to eat and they're fucking on the couch and you don't even bat an eye you're just like oh yep there's two of my friends fucking on the couch oh no i seen wayne harley or shit yeah that's what i mean you don't even like no excuse me you make your coffee they're still sitting there i got i wake up i got a fucking ufc champ in the middle of the fucking floor doing push-ups doing a line with three girls on his fucking back or like you know like that was like a regular fucking wake up you know stuff like it was like it was shit like that man i mean there was just so much fucking gnarly shit going on it's funny and just look back on it just so gnarly though

so fucking bizarre do you have any goals right now like that are are tantamount to the goal to be own your own nightclub in la um i just like right now just being in service man and just being able to do what i love and being in service for others and you know i got a few projects in the work that i haven't really talked about anybody that i'm excited to get going up here in the next few weeks. And, uh, whatever happens happens. I'm on that nomad life right now, man. That's just kind of like whatever, whatever flows and comes my way is what's going to happen. And I, uh, I would say like, as in like having that goal of owning a nightclub, like that same, that same feeling for right now, it just like, just continue to stay happy and, and, uh, and do the things that I love.

And like I said, just be in service for others and just continue down that path. There's a lady named Miranda Alcarez and her husband, Julian Alcarez, and they own a company called street parking, a hugely fucking successful company, fucking killing it. And I had her on the show and I was like, it's so weird. People have goals and they achieve them and they're successful, but I've never had goals. And she basically explained to me, or I saw it on her Instagram. I can't remember exactly, but do you have discipline, passion and good habits? And I was like, oh yeah, I do have crazy discipline. I have crazy. One of my habits is always to refine my habits and I'm crazy passionate.

And so maybe that's where you're at in your life before. I feel like I wake up. Yeah, go ahead. No, no, you go ahead. I feel like I wake up every day with goals and I feel like there's no finish line, right? Like I wake up and I'm like, all right, cool. I got to get this done. I got to work on this project.

I have to run 20 miles. I have to do this. I have to do that. It's like, there's a daily goal every single day that I'm doing. But I think with this discipline that I've built and these daily goals that I'm doing, it's building up into something bigger. That's going to be coming along the way. And do you have, would you refer, what about this word habits? Does this resonate with you? When I think of habits, I think of like toxic, like, I think of like, like, I think of like, yeah, like when I, yeah, like I think of habits, I think of like toxic, like, I think of like, like, I think of like,

yeah, like, yeah, like I think of bad habits, right? Like, I don't think of like, I don't think of good habits. And I think of like, of like daily, I think I don't think of the word habits. I think of like daily discipline and daily routine. That's like the word that comes to my mind, you know? And I think like, just like, it's like the discipline that I have with my running. It just reflects with anything that I do in life. It doesn't matter what it is. It's just like, it's the same discipline that I built with what I do every day. And it just reflects with just anything that I'm doing in my life.

It's just the same thing. And that's why I feel like if people can build like that daily discipline and the daily habits in their life, which majority of people cannot do, they would be successful with everything else that they're trying to do in their life, or at least have some sort of consistency. I had this guy on the other day, Michael Easter, and he was basically talking about, that's why you need to have boredom in your life. Don't fill your life with Netflix and the phone, let your life, um, some boredom creep in and some stillness so that you can pick up some like new habits some some new some new levels of discipline yeah i agree um when you say that you you said you were into service what does that

mean are you picking up trash on the beach or or fucking ugly banging ugly chicks what are you doing um you know being of service to me is to be able to like give back to you know community and in ways of like i'm able to do things that I that I love to do and still be able to inspire and motivate other people and give them hope that, you know, that they can come back from anything that they can pick themselves up and just and just keep pushing. Writing my story is one of the biggest tools of that. Being able to share my story with other people and just give them hope. People are just going through so much shit every day. People don't talk about it. I get so many DMs a day of people thanking me just for the things that I post and thanking me for writing my story.

That's what feels fucking good to me. That's what warms my heart. I'm doing good for society. I'm doing good. Like, and before, like I felt like I was in service of taking care of people and hosting people and getting them a drink. And like,

I don't just, that's just, there's just nothing cool to me about any of that shit anymore. Does any part of you regret making yourself so vulnerable through this book? No. Yeah, not at all. Was scary at all?

No, I think like, I think so many people have so many skeletons in the closet and they're so scared of like fucking anything coming out about them and stuff now. And like after going through the whole cancel culture thing and then being able to put like my entire life into this fucking book of like all my flaws and anything negative that i went through like i don't give a fuck what anybody thinks about me anymore man like i just do not give a fuck and i feel like everybody else that's holding all these things in or haven't opened up about certain things like they're fucking scared they wake up every fucking day just waiting in line to get canceled or waiting in line for this i don't give a fuck i'll say whatever the fuck i want now i do not care anymore i think it was like it was just

like the biggest like just weight off my chest after i put the book out i thought about what you what you just said like the day before the book went out i was like fuck my whole story is gonna be out there for the fucking world and then i just smiled and laughed i'm like good just got on the treadmill and i started running started Yeah. That's how I felt, man. I was like, fucking great. Let's fucking go. Let's get the shit moving. Do you have a, do you, and yeah, and yeah, I had a New York times article, a nice paragraph, a fucking me in the ass. And, and it was awesome. It was after a few days, it was awesome. Well, after about six months, it was, I'm, I can't,

I can happier than I've ever been. I can't, well, I'm not happy. Yeah. It's pretty damn good. It's like a relief. It's pretty damn good. Yes. Um, especially when none of it was true. Like, like you were saying, well, mine didn't really say anything yours. They, they, they, mine, they just tried to leave the shit ambiguous, but, um, mine, yeah, mine, they were accusing me of doing shit that I never did. It's just like, they made up their own story. It was just crazy. They made up their own timeline and no matter, it just doesn't matter what you tell anybody,

you know, like if they already got their own perception of you and that's what they want to believe about you, it doesn't matter what you tell them. And they're, they've already, they've already decided how they want to see you. Like, it doesn't matter. You know, and they're, they've already, they've already decided how they want to see you. Like it doesn't matter. You know, that's just how people think nowadays. Yeah. That, that person, um, I don't, I don't, I don't know what Instagram account that is, but you also referenced an Instagram account that stirs the pot.

And I wanted to punch that dude in the face. Yeah. He's been doing this shit for fucking years to people. He ran a really big website that just fucking just tore fucking people apart like i could just send you in and be like yo this guy's a piece of shit cheats on his fucking wife he has fucking herpes and aids and blah blah blah and this guy posts it and then he'll comment underneath it and be like yeah i know i'm he's never given me any sexual diseases but good luck and then anybody could go comment underneath it and be like yeah i know i'm he's never given me any sexual diseases but good luck and then anybody could go comment underneath it with whatever names they want i mean dude there was like girls suicidal over his post with people killing themselves i mean they're just

fucked up shit going on man have you run into any of these people in your book since you've written the book or has anyone apologized to you um yeah that dude that dude's told me like a couple times like i feel bad for i feel bad what, you know, and this and that I just like, you know, old me would have been like, fuck this dude, fuck this motherfucker. And I'm just like, yo, wish you the best dog. I'm going to get a place in my life. Like, I just don't care. And honestly, like this whole thing that happened to me is like a blessing in disguise. Of course. Like I, I just like, I definitely still would have been running in the nightclub scene. I still would have been happened to me is like a blessing in disguise of course you know like i i just like i definitely still would have been running in the nightclub scene i still would have been fucking doing drugs

like you know i needed something like this to happen to me you know it's unfortunate but you know i'm the type of person that needs to hit rock bottom to fucking make change that's just how i said you said something too that as a kid you wanted to be the guy you wanted people like to look up to you but the thing is is that you're getting that now because no one looks up to anyone who hasn't been through hardship no one no one looks up to any like if you haven't been through hardship no one really looks up to you i mean you may think they do but they don't and now people like are really looking up to you they're like holy fuck he he he went in well

it's in the title of your book what is it you went through the belly of the beast yeah the belly of hollywood yeah you know and it's but you know i was listening what joe jordan sits on his podcast the other day he's like you know i love a success story but you know what i fucking like even more was i like someone that gets everything taken away from him and he figures figures out how the fuck to come back from that i love a fucking comeback story and so do i and i think most people do they like a comeback story and like because it takes fucking a lot and a lot of fucking guts to fucking come back when you're fucking just all the way in fucking rock bond most people can't do it most people are just they get stuck or they go backwards you know i wonder if hammer is going to come out with a new album who mc hammer

for my hammer wait a minute um any part of you miss that lifestyle or i mean do you have a love hate with la like is any party like i mean look i'm working on i'm'm working on, I'm working on a, no, I'm working on a, you know, I just went to Austin actually to go visit, uh,

Aubrey Marcus actually. Oh yeah. I saw that. What's he like? Is he a buddy of yours? Yeah, he's great. I've known his wife for 10 years.

So like I, yeah, she used to be in the, she used to kind of be in the scene as well. And, um, she kind of connected us and he's a great guy, man.

I had a great fucking weekend. It was a beautiful weekend out there. And yeah, that was my first time in Austin, actually. And yeah, so I don't, you know, what's funny is like when I was driving, I was talking to one of my girlfriends out there that was there. And I was like, yeah, when I'm driving in Austin, I'm like, eh'm like but i'm like when i'm with the people there and the community i'm like yeah but in la i'm when i'm driving out here i'm like yeah but when i went the community out here i'm like you know so like and we just started laughing about it because look there's a lot of great

people in la i don't ever knock on la i fucking love la i made it in la but you know you got to really find you got to figure out how to like just take yourself out of that fucking bubble that everyone gets stuck in and i was in it i got trapped in it for a long time and um you know i'm working on a project out here right now in la and you know i still have so many connections and and you know know so many people out here and there's still a lot of great people out here. So, um, do I feel called to leave LA right now? Not yet. Um, I, I felt called to go to like Indonesia. I wanted to, I wanted to move to Bali for the longest. Yeah. Bali is, it feels like home to me out there, man. It's just not yet though. Like, I feel like I need to be more in this like retirement phase of my life to be

out there, you know? Um, there was an intervention in the book right yeah with my mom and dad did that feel um i had a friend whose family did an intervention on him and i was thinking holy shit if my family ever did an intervention on me i would feel like a trust betrayal oh dude it wasn't even i mean i showed up to my dad's i showed up on father's day out of fucking blow out of my fucking head from the night before and it just kind of happened there but they were super cool about it man they weren't like you need to quit or you need to do this or like yo like like what can we do to help like you know what i'm saying at that time like i don't think i have a problem you know what i'm saying so right it's just it literally cry when they do

that are you crying um I don't I don't recall crying that day I think like I remember my ex came over she was crying for sure I mean she thought I was gonna fucking kill myself so I mean I would she I just put her through a lot you know and like that time I couldn't see what I was doing so Dakota in the book yeah yeah fuck i mean that was uh it was a roller coaster you know it's funny every time i see her i would just be like fuck i'm just sorry for everything i put you through i never lied or cheated on her or anything like that it was just like things that i couldn't i was not doing intentionally but was just hurting somebody and i couldn't see it at that time but she always thanks me for it because she's like fuck i would

have gotten walked all over in this fucking city if it wasn't for what we went through. So thank you for all that. So, but I, yeah. She didn't do coke. No, she like, she like partied very minimally at the start of our relationship. Like, but it was just to like, just so that she could hang out with me in a sense. It was like, she never liked it, you know?

And, uh And she tried, she was just trying to get me off of everything for like forever, you know, for the longest time. But, you know, I couldn't see it at that time. I was climbing, climbing the ladder. And at that time, that's what seemed like it made the most sense to me. Hey, did you have a,

I used to hang with these chicks, this group of girls, and they all had little kits. Kids? Kits. Oh, kids. They were Altoid containers, and they had a credit card in them and a razor blade and straws. Do you know what I'm saying?

My God. Did you ever have – it was when I was in college. Meth rolled into town. And what was interesting is I did meth with them for probably a month a month or two and then it sucked because i really like this girl but then i was like this isn't fucking sustainable and i and i stopped hanging with them like i mean i've seen a lot a lot of crazy shit did you have a kit did you have your own little i didn't carry a fucking out no did people have kits was there a well i don't know the drug dealers would come out with fucking kits and shit like i don't know about like the fucking i never saw girls rolling around with

a fucking altoids cam with fucking razors and needles and shit inside them not you but you didn't have like a louis vuitton kit like the louis vuitton those are all i swear those are like all the drug dealer dudes that had like the fucking the satchel they always were like yeah the side satchel with all their shit in it yeah I didn't have all that shit so you if you got if you got um coke you would just you would get it in a bag yeah or vial and you just break it in with a credit card though just in your in your mouth I told the motherfuckers they need to fucking that shit better be fucking fine powder before it fucking hits my pocket yeah that's fucking because they used to fucking bring in the rocks and shit and i'm just like that fucking a whole whole rock in my nostril just

sitting up there and i'm just like brah and then you would just roll a bill and snort it you didn't or you cut up a straw yeah straw usually fucking just start out the straw yeah those are those days are done or a pen or a pen did you ever use a pen i never did the pen but i've been in people's places when they had the pen the pen was funny to me you had to do the pen so many funny nights and then you get fucking you you guys bald but then you'd get like desperate and shit and like you crack the pen open and lick the inside of it or cut open the straw and lick the inside of it when you're running when you're running low and you're like fuck no one's answering like what what scraps do we have left over at least with weed you have a chance with weed you can pull

the couch out and like look for nugs with coke you're kind of fucked it's like you're not finding shit in the carpet yeah that chase is crazy on there man you just don't ever want it to end it's just like that's why you said just because i would just go so hard for like one day because I'd be like, all right, cool. Let's just go hard from one day and like, let's just take off for a whole week. It wasn't like I couldn't just do like one bump or two bumps. Like if I was committing to one bump, that's it. I'm fucking staying up. Like we're fucking I'm going in, you know, right. Just fucking doing one bumps, two bumps, staying up. But yeah, man, those days, those days are done they give me like anxiety i'm just like i'm just like fuck yeah the the thought of doing drugs at 49 scares the shit out of me

like my fucking ticker would pop i don't want to like i didn't care if i hurt my heart at 22 at 49 if i hear my heart it's like something's not right i mean and if someone's knocking on the door inside me excuse me and at that age you're just like no you're you feel invincible like nothing's gonna fucking happen to you you're just like i had one or two times where i was like fuck i think i'm my fucking od i need to chill the fuck out and that that i fucking like it was like fucking one or two times but i used to just be so i used to just go hard man it was just i was just fucking and it was just me like it had nothing to do with anybody else i would just fucking i would just go hard by myself sometimes i was fucking out of my mind but yeah you can run 16 miles and it's no big deal imagine all the oh yeah yeah there's i think there's one time i i think the longest i

had ever stayed up for i don't even think i've ever said this but i think it was like six days wow fucking six day bender yeah it was fucking gnarly went to vegas went to the went to club went to fucking vegas for a few days came back still stayed up it was fucking bizarre i went everywhere it was uh we went on a fucking jet with a big dj and i was just fucking out of my fucking head i had no idea how the fuck i just stayed up i was doing molly blow all kinds of shit man i just fucking powered it i know i mean there's people i knew stayed up for like fucking 10 12 days there's people fucking just i don't know how the fuck i honestly man if i was still doing drugs man i think i would have already undied by now i was fucking just balls to the wall

but how trippy is it sometimes you would get so fucking drunk that you could barely stand and then you do a line and you're sober so fucking good you know it was weird i never even used to like i used to drink after i did blow like i didn't like i didn't love i didn't love drinking like and everyone's like why like we used to just do it to like not feel drunk and then i would do it to like if i got too fucked up on the blow the alcohol would kind of numb the blow so it was fucking like kind of chill me down if i was getting too like fucking sketchy or fucking i've just done too much you know yeah i would just fucking yeah i would i was just a lot i would grab like a fucking bottle of fucking like jack daniels and the fucking blow and that's it back to back

wouldn't even drink water for like a fucking day i don't know i i mean i was fucking gnarly whatever those days are done now we just reflect all that onto the fucking treadmill or the trails and we just go fucking run for days what do you think about an air runner what do you think about a runner the the kind that don't like i just got one of those you know what do you mean here it's it's uh will you show uh caleb what that is um basically it's a it's a treadmill but it's not powered. I power it. And it's kind of complicated. Oh, is it an assault?

It's an assault, right? Yeah, it's an assault. Yep, that's exactly it. What's funny is I never ran on one of those, but I have an assault bike. We'll have one like it. It's a Schwinn bike, and I go pretty fucking gnarly on those things. I didn't realize those things are three grand. I thought they were like a thousand bucks.

I think mine was even more. I got like a gnarly one, but from that company, do they make a gnarlier one than that? Caleb? Oh no, I think that's the one. No,

they have a bike too. And I have a, I have a bike. It's, it's a Schwinn. It's a, it's just like it, but it's a Schwinn bike.

And it's funny. Cause I have the bike too, that that company makes, I have them side by side. Like I, I sit on that thing for like a fucking hour and a half, two hours straight on that bike and I'll burn like 1,800, 1,700 calories.

Yeah, that's nuts. Yeah, and it's funny. I was doing it and I was talking all this shit and then I saw Goggins come on one of his videos talking shit about how he sits on the assault bike. He literally did the same. We were doing the same fucking workout and I was talking shit to one of my friends. I i was like maybe if you put me and him up against each

other we're probably one of we're both going to one of us dies but i ain't fucking giving up on this fucking bike i can i'll sit on this bitch forever and that bike's gnarly like i mean because you're fourth you control how many calories you're burning you're controlling the it's just like just like the the treadmill so and then i was telling people don't understand how hard this shit is that we're doing and then they go try and run two fucking miles and they're like what the fuck like how the fuck is this guy running 60 miles or how the fuck's this guy running 20 miles a day like they don't understand the grind that goes in it and it's funny because when i'm not running and i see like my other ultra buddies and stuff running i don't really process it either until i

start running again and i'm like fuck this shit's brutal you know it's it's fucking brutal man um there's a guy i know um brian chantosh have you ever heard that name i don't think so he uh did he win the navy cross caleb he does crossfit stuff on he's a crossfitter but he won the navy cross for some crazy shit he fucking did there's a two-hour special i wouldn't say he won it but he received it sorry sorry sorry caleb's in the air force he always has to unfuck me when i say dumb shit yeah yeah he won the navy cross caleb you gotta jump in faster than that you can't let me say that as soon as you hear me say navy cross you gotta just jump in and start talking let me fucking stick my own dick in my mouth okay so this guy gets honored with the navy cross anyway i think recently he did some shit where he ran he he put one of those

assault runners in a a box like one of those um boxes that's like on the back of a truck you know and and and he ran in the dark i want to, for 45 minutes on 15 minutes off for 24 hours. Is that true, Caleb? Am I making that up or is that true? Yes, that is true. Hold on. Let me bring you back. There you are. Yeah, that is true. He put himself in a shipping container and like no music, no just snacks. And then he ran. It was like him and it was a challenge with him and a couple other guys and they just ran in a shipping container completely blacked out for 24 hours the sea would last the longest and i think only it looks like four of them did it and i think only

like two of them finished it or something there's just i don't know what the point is they're running there's so much crazy shit yeah i mean it's just it was all just yeah these cannot boss it's like sensory deprivation as much as I could just to see how long they could do it. Yeah. His, his, his wife has been in charge of all the head of training for CrossFit for

15 years. Nicole Carroll. She's a fucking freak of nature too. They're just, they're just every time. Like they just, you think you're doing something crazy and there's some fucking fucker just doing some gnarly shit it just never ends what about that are all

those people in that community running from something like managing some sort of pathology like towards somewhere like running from like i i like that you know you know i feel like some are running from the light some are running towards it yeah for sure and i think i think when i got into running i'm for sure running from something and now i feel like i'm running towards something and i think it always just it just depends what you're dealing with but most of the people i met in the community like they were either addicts or some some sort of like you know some sort of fucking manic versic, you know, that just like, they, they all kind of have like, we all kind of have the same mentality.

You know, one of my buddies, his name's Hector. He fucking does gnarly ultras. He, he's not like a super fast runner, but he'll stay out there for fucking days and days. He's done like the craziest 200, 250 mile races, all of them. He does them all. He just like normal dude, sober family guy, not fucking no ex them he does them on he just like normal dude sober family guy not fucking no ex-addict or nothing and he just he knows how to grind he just stays out there for fucking days and just runs i made this movie called desert runners and i and i followed um uh have you ever heard of that race it's called called the Four Deserts. I think I have.

I'm grabbing water. Keep going. I can hear you. Yeah. And can you pull that movie up, Caleb? But basically, it was crazy. They had to carry. So basically, it took them a year to do it.

They did it two weeks every quarter for a year. And they went to the four gnarliest deserts. We went to Antarctica. You went with them. Say that again? You went with them. Yeah, I went with them. I've this i've definitely seen this yeah yeah yeah i so basically i was hired to co-direct and film this and then i basically filmed 95 of everything you see in the film and then at about halfway through

about 10 away through the editing um they didn't think I was pulling my weight, which they probably were right. And they just gave me a huge chunk of cash and pulled the director credit off. But I did film the whole thing. And I, and I would say that I produced and directed the at least 50% of it during the actual shooting. But Jennifer Steinman finished the film and it was trippy.

These aren't like, even like these aren't pro runners either. These are like hobbyists. That's not true there's a handful of people who are the pros but fuck man this shit was gnarly yeah i should fucking how how many miles was the whole thing i can't remember i can't remember let's say it was uh each race was 110 miles or something but but they had to carry all their belongings they needed to stay alive during that time except for water there was water provided but they had to carry all their

other shit and it was like fuck it was nuts that's what i'm saying they're just like so like every week there's just some fucking gnarly shit going on and like it's just it just never ending and it's crazy because like i don't understand why ESPN and like a lot of these big, these big companies don't broadcast any of this shit. I think this shit's way cooler than half the shit they're fucking broadcasting. Well, yeah.

Well now they got men competing in women's sports. Oh man. I don't even get me started with all that. I want to see some of that shit. You're living in a fucking delusional world, my friend. Hey, dude, how about that our president nominated this lady because she was black and a woman, and then they asked her what's a woman, and she said she couldn't answer. She ain't a biologist.

Oh, my God. The memes right now are so funny. Maybe you should ask your boss boss that's why he picked you eventually this thing's gonna have to fucking come to an end eventually man this shit's so crazy um the chicago marathon in 257 oh yeah that wasn't like i i did uh 567. I did 249 on the last one that I did. Holy shit, dude. It's crazy. I think I could get really fast if I started training for it, but I got into the ultra game, and now I'm about to sign up for 100 miler.

I just did 100K. Do you have a running buddy? Do you have a friend who's like or a team of friends no no i have some friends that do it but like i don't really have anyone that like oh fuck did we um i think we're gonna be on this long let me see that's weird that it's like out though it just said i had like three hours i gotta switch it back hold on um how can i how can i switch the video back oh here do you have a camera on your computer that it'll just yeah i'll switch it back yep hold on do you have a running coach

um i don't have a running coach no have you ever thought about getting one i'm trying to fix this shit um it's fine whatever um no i never thought about getting a running coach man i just i'm just like very like i like just doing things my way i had somebody just asked me this the other day somebody else said i got into running the fuck did this camera battery down pissed about that right now whatever we're here as soon as soon as we get we only have 10 more minutes as soon as we get off there you just throw that thing across the room fucking chucking that motherfucker no no running coach and what were you saying someone asked you the other day about what

that i got like heavy into the ultra stuff i asked him about it and um he uh he was like yeah i got a coach i'm gonna start training for halter and stuff. Have you ever thought about it? And I was just kind of like, yeah, it's crossed my mind. But, like, I just don't think I need it. I think I have, like, the discipline for it if I want to train for it. I mean, like, look, I went into, like, five weeks of training before I did that 100K, and I did pretty good. And I just kind of know what it takes to fucking train. Maybe I can get my running a little bit better with a coach.

But, you know, I'm, like, very big on just getting shit done myself i don't i don't like really look for anybody else for help do you have an inspiration is there someone in the game you're chasing or anyone you follow i don't think anyone i'm chasing i think like the way that goggins operates is really fucking dope to me i just like how he's on his own grind he doesn't take any sponsors i like how he just doesn't give a fuck what anybody thinks. Definitely very like-minded. I think the way that he just maneuvers, and he's not even really considered an ultra runner, you know, but he's like still one of the best to me in my mind, like, you know,

which is the things that he's done and accomplished and with, you know, not having, I don't, I'm positive the guy doesn't use coaches or anything like that. That guy's in his own game. i wonder if he does i don't think so have you met him no he lives in vegas close to one of my buddies have you reached i don't think i really no i don't think i've like really put myself in the environment now i'm always on my own wave man like i i've never really looked up to anybody and I don't, I don't, I don't like to go off of someone else's kind of schedule or regimen or whatever. I see other people and I'm like, dope. Like what they're doing is dope. They're affecting other people. They're in service for others. They're, they're doing what they do and they're inspiring people in their own way and their own light. And I think that that's dope to me, but I don't look at anybody and be like, Oh, I want to be like them. You know, I'm just kind of in my own wave. And if I meet people, I meet them. If I don't,

I have to keep doing what I do. Hey, maybe that's why you were so good in that scene because you didn't trip around the most famous people in the world. I just didn't care. Yeah. I just never really cared about it. Like I knew having the relationships with them and i knew that you know having them around was good for my business but i wasn't like starstruck or i didn't care they're all normal people like us man they're all going through their own shit they're all they're all fucking normal people but it's just like you can't the outside you know the the public doesn't believe it you know they think like it's just this is the way that it is but it's not. They are going through the same struggles and problems that everyone else is.

They might have more money. They might have more fame, but they're still going through the same bullshit that all of us are going through. Give me an example of when you say the same bullshit we're going through. You mean like their moms? Depression, mental health, all kinds of things. Depression, depression, mental health, like all, all kinds of things. You know, I'd say like 99% of celebrities I was friends with were all fucking dealing with fucking inner demons and depression and alcoholism and drugs and all kinds of shit, man.

And, um, there was very rare of them that like, we're actually generally happy and like had their shit together. And they're always chasing that next high and it never ends for them. You know, it's just always this fucking next high up the next high next high you just keep climbing and it never fucking ends and they're replacing it with you know things that hold no real meaning in life which whatever the materialistic item it is or whatever next hot girl it is or whatever hot dude it is it's just like it never ends you know if you see someone who's obese they're like 100 pounds overweight like you know that that's a refined carbohydrate

addict like that person has and when you see them like 300 pounds you know that they have like a real problem like every time they have to maintain to be a 400 pound person every time you drive by mcdonald's you have to stop and get a milkshake and a quarter pounder before every meal. You have to have a meal, you know, like they are crazy, hardcore addicts. Um, there there's no, there's no healthy, no matter what anyone tells you, there's no healthy obese people. They're all like, they're all addicts. Um, are there any healthy people who go to the club? If you, I mean, outside, I mean, I know that at any night you could show up there and there's people there who are there for the first time and they'll never come back again for whatever reason. But is the club scene – is it 50% addicts, whether it be nicotine, alcohol, or –

I'd say like 99.8% of them all drink. Like to a point where they need it. I think a lot of people are just escaping some sort of situation that they're dealing with, a breakup, depression, whatever it is. So they go out to forget about it. So most of these people are always fighting some sort of internal battle that nobody knows about. Because I always tell people most people aren't going out to celebrate a victory or happiness. There are people that go do that. There are people that are out for a birthday or they're, they're celebrating that they just closed this deal or

whatever it is. But the regular people that I would see out nightly, there's a reason why they're out fucking night. You know, they want to get laid, right? I mean, that's why they're running away from it. That's why I'm, that's why I never leave the house now I'm married. Yeah. I mean, they're, but they're also running away from issues, you know, like I just, you know, majority of the people I met weren't happy people. They looked happy on the outside, but when you get to know them and you got to know what, what they were going through, it made sense of why they were always out,

you know? Damn. Um, did, did, did, did finding God or any of that stuff play a role in your life in the last couple of years through this transition? I'm not religious at all. I guess I would say that I do believe in some sort of higher power and that the word is God or whatever. But definitely spirituality is big for me. I think meditation was very big for me. Getting into meditation helped me a ton when I was going through this whole fucking cancel culture bullshit when i was disconnected from everybody that like every morning i would that was the first thing i do i usually get up around 4 a.m and just fucking meditate and like i would just set intentions for the day and it played like a huge role in

on how how the whole day was going to play out for me what what does that mean what's meditation mean um you know what meditation means no i mean i do mean? You know what meditation means? No. I mean, I do. I mean, I know what it means for me. You know, just being able to sit still and, you know, setting some intentions and some goals and being able to sit still with yourself and doing some heavy breathing. And have you done meditation before yeah so you're just yeah that's what every podcast is this is your meditation right here you know it's crazy i get

into like a crazy meditative state when um i'm running i go into like a crazy flow especially when i'm on the treadmill i can just close my eyes and I just fucking, I'm just gone. And most people hate running on the treadmill. I like it because it's so brutal just having to sit in one fucking spot and just be with yourself. And it reminds me of meditation, but like while I'm moving, burning calories, going on these highs and lows. And it's fucking beautiful to me.

I fucking love it. Most people are like, how do you sit on the treadmill for fucking hours? And I'm like, that's the whole point. Like, I'd like to sit there and suffer in that one fucking spot. It's a lot easier to go run out on the trails. It's not easier to run in the trails because you're climbing mountains and doing this. But when you have nature and, you know, you can see the ocean and you're moving in different spots, it's easier to run in a sense. It's funny you say that because in the book book you talk about how you always ran with music

and when i was reading that i was like oh i need to tell eli about the importance of exercising without music and then lo and behold as the book evolved you went yeah you realized and i and in the crossfit scene i i do a lot of crossfit and i don't listen to music and i would just spend and i just really enjoy listening to myself breathe and at hard exercise and oxygen deprivation will cause a forced spiritual evolution in people because it causes stillness. It forces you to stop thinking like, I don't care what's going on in your life, no matter how bad you think it is. If you do a hundred burpees as fast as you can, all your problems will go away.'s so true you'll be fighting for air you'll be like a fish out of water i'm telling you like when i was going through all my shit you know

i would wake up just feeling like what the fuck am i gonna do and i would just get on that treadmill or get in the streets and like when i hit like mile 15 like or you know once i get into like mile 10 like everything's just gone nothing can bought nothing bothers me anymore anything that anytime i was told myself this if i ever had like anything i was upset about or emotional about or anything like that when i would wake up in the morning i'd like go fucking run first and don't touch your phone and then still see if you feel the same way after and i never felt the same thank god i didn't write that person they got him right this person like you know just i was just like fuck it i don't really care about this stuff anymore i'm gonna get injured now yeah go ahead almost before no no go

ahead you said when you get injured now what i had to get injured like it's a fucking bummer when i can't fucking run you know but that's it i go sit on that fucking bike for like an hour and a half but the feeling on that bike is a lot different than being able like the running motion and getting like i'm not getting on no fucking high on that bike i'm just sitting there straight suffering for an hour and a half straight or two hours or whatever it is you know god after so i did it for 40 minutes once and then and then we you and i had a little bit of a discourse back and forth and you told me how long you did it and so i was going to try to do it for an hour and i made it to 40 minutes again i'm like this motherfucker did you go to 40 i haven't made it to 40 now twice

i thought i would never do 40 again but then after talking to you with you i did 40 again i mean it is hard i got an idea for you you can re-watch our podcast while you're uh and you'll make it almost an hour and a half good that's a good point that's a good point great um i i before before every podcast when i can i do a lot of podcasts at seven in the morning but like this podcast today before i before we do it any podcast that's later on today i always exercise right before for purposely so i'll have a clear mind so i usually ride the assault bike for 10 minutes really really hard and then today there were a bunch of people working out in my garage so i did some rucking have you ever thought about doing rucking do you know what that is

it's basically you should look that up go ruck um it's putting a pack on your back and walking at a fast pace yeah and man people fucking swear by this shit i thought about i thought about just doing like uh like going on, cause right now for training for the ultra stuff, I want to start, uh, yeah. Ready to rock sack. Whatever. Yeah. I've been wanting to run. You just move fast.

That's what I'm saying. So I think I want to start doing that and I want to go out into the mountains for like six hours to just get time on feet. Right. You know, that would give me good training, a hundred milers. So that would be smart. Cause then once I got that backpack off and I'm out there for a long time, it's going to feel a lot nicer. What's your heartbeats hang out at when you do these

runs, these 60 mile runs, do you know? Oh, it just depends. Like it depends on how fast I'm running. That's when the heart rate changes. Right? Like, sure. I think at the end of the 60 miler, the 62 miler I did, I was like in the one 30, one high one 30s, low one 40, something like that. But like, if I go and bang out a fucking a marathon at a 627 for mile pace that motherfucker's sitting in like the 160s you know like there's no way it's going down below that it just depends how fast you're going because i i read recently or someone told me that they were rucking with a 50 pound pack and they were just walking fast and their heartbeat was at 150 no way yeah i want

to actually i want to test that out because i feel like supposedly it's good for your back i mean i find that hard to believe but i don't push that lie if that's not true but but but people swear by it yeah i feel like um i don't feel like my heart rate would be high. I know my body, even with the weight on my back, but yeah, that's fucking, that's bizarre. Brother. I'm so excited about your, uh,

your book that you completed it. I'm excited. I hope that there's a series. I hope that, I mean, the documentary would be cool, but I would really like like a fictional series that's based on true stories. I would love a,

uh, the sex book. I think naked people and genitalia always excites me. I'll just write that and give that one to you just for yourself to have. Thank you. And it was a great pleasure meeting you. It's always fun reading a book

and it's a trip meeting the author. It's always an honor. Likewise, man. I had a great time talking with you as well. And the book is Mask. I got it on Apple itunes i listened to it and you can also get it on amazon audible you can get it on anywhere yep yep there it is audible yep it's a good fucking story and uh i think the audible i think the audible is great

you get way more information in there you get my voice in there and uh yeah it's fucking thank you for your time eli really appreciate it and and thank you to kyle creek for uh hooking us up that was really yeah kyle's a man yep yeah we love kyle did you meet him in the club no we have not me and kyle haven't even met in person he came to la like he came to la maybe like two weeks ago and we're trying to meet up and then our schedules were conflicted but uh we'll end up we'll meet up eventually we actually met on Instagram he actually reached out to me when I put up that running video um when I first came back onto IG and then that's how it all started yeah and that's how it all started he just like

fuck it I fuck with you and I was like I fuck with you man I fuck with you I'm like no I fuck with you you know I fuck with you you know that's it no, I fuck with you. No, I fuck with you. You know, that's it. We talk every day. He's a good dude. All right. Peace. Thank you, man.

Thank you, boys. All right.