The Sevan Podcast - #416 - I heard a rumor Dave is coming back to CrossFit

Episode Date: May 25, 2022

I heard a rumor that Dave Castro is coming back to work for CrossFit LLC. NEW TDCEO Shirts: Sevan Podcast — VNDK8 EQUIPMENT COMPANY Sign up for our email: https://thesevanpodcast.com/ ------------------------- Partners: https://www.paperstcoffee.com/ - THE COFFEE I DRINK! https://thesevanpodcast.com/ - OUR WEBSITE https://sogosnacks.com/ - SAVE15 coupon code - the snacks my kids eat - tell them Sevan sent you! https://www.hybridathletics.com/produ... - THE BARBELL BRUSH https://asrx.com/collections/the-real... - OUR TSHIRTS https://usekilo.com - OUR WEBSITE PROVIDER ------------------------- #TheSevanPodcast #CrossFitGames #CrossFit Support the show Partners: https://cahormones.com/ - CODE "SEVAN" FOR FREE CONSULTATION https://www.paperstcoffee.com/ - THE COFFEE I DRINK! https://asrx.com/collections/the-real... - OUR TSHIRTS ... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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I've heard a juicy rumor. Dave coming back? Is Dave coming back? I hearted responses and they said, ha, ha, ha, so it's true. All right. Until Andrew Weinstein tells the real media that they can respond, you'll have to be stuck with us. Curated the message. be stuck with us curated until lord uh andrew weinstein tells the media that they can respond and how to respond you will be stuck with us i apologize my beloved ones how fun how fun hey

i'm watching the scott panchik thing unfold and i can't stop thinking just that basically we're never going to hear the truth because no one wants to get sued yep it's the runaround game no one wants to get uh i do i do not i do not like um the the i know how people think and there's a morning article chalk up that came out that said no no one at hq um knew do you have a link to that can you pull that up caleb i can send you a link real quick too i got it that that one's um i'm not saying scott needs to sue them either someone's saying that i'm not saying that at all uh matter of fact if you want to be completely 100 clear about that until people take complete responsibility and accountability for their own lives they won't live their highest self because you know who takes complete responsibility and

accountability for everything yourself yeah god playa okay crossfit denies knowledge of athletes concerns over rope length at syndicate crown and i know they're saying crossfit denies it but it's irrelevant it's it's it's irrelevant um whether they know or didn't know it's a crossfit semi-finals the rope's too long everyone who who knows anyone who's done crossfit knows that you shouldn't have rope on the ground there if you're having you know if you're concerned about rolled ankles or or maybe someone should just come out and be like that's part of the test that's part of the test you know and there's like a moat of alligators you have to jump over to like in the middle like fuck you accuracy yeah how about someone just how about someone just be like

fuck you scott you should you should you figure that shit out and slow down you took the risk by the way i don't think that i don't i don't think that but i'm just saying like i would prefer that over just um but it's a competition seven say that again it's a competition yeah it's a competition and at the bottom we have a rope that could twist your ankle and in the middle we'll be we have water balls full of gonorrhea that will be spraying at your genitals as you run and some of you aren't even made for this show what are you doing all of you on here like half you should not be listening you are not made for this show go somewhere and be offended they're finding that out quickly now they're here to be offended what are you talking about yeah somebody's already if i posted a

picture of a cheetah thank you teddy thank you oh shit hey if he let me tell you something first of all if caleb snubbed you it's because he's he's shy. Caleb has a little bit of shyness to him. Also, I have an obligation to pay attention to the athletes. Yeah. Not a lot of shyness. I mean, he's a very confident man. I don't mean to say he's – but he is a soft-spoken gentleman until need be otherwise. Fair.

Logan Mars, thank you for the money. I'm waiting until $1,000 come in before I show you Dave Castro. Guys, I am so excited about this shirt that you can get on Vindicate. Do we have that website? Do they have it up already? Yeah, yeah. Yes, they do. I'd like everyone to know who's on the executive team, all of the elites at CrossFit HQ.

Anyone to know who's on the executive team, all of the elites at CrossFit HQ, anyone who is like if you're a bossy person over there, I will send you one of these shirts for free. If you boss people around over there, I'll send you one for free. Let us know. Just send us a little note. We'll get it shipped over. Yeah. I saw something. I think I was – I thought I saw something funny on here I want to talk about. Hiller, look like someone's taking a page out of your clickbait book.

Chase and Bill Grundler, get with the program podcast, in the most friendly way. I wore my OG shirt today, actually, so I'll leave you guys alone. That was a quick turn. I was about to. I was about to fucking snapola. Yeah, so those are cool shirts. I can't wait to fucking get mine. We're going to send them out as fast as possible. Man, I wish I could tell you who thought of that. They're a fucking genius. Anyways, I was saying anyone at CrossFit HQ who wants one of those for free, I am willing to talk maybe just like make you pay for shipping or

something yeah and it's hard to say who works at crossfit hq does the director of the uh of the syndicate work for crossfit hq because it is the crossfit semifinals but now all of a sudden you're saying no one at crossfit hq knew about it you want to distance yourself separation how many people were at the syndicate work work for cross at hq though well here's the thing yeah you're gonna get fired by the next week i'm gonna i'm gonna do a whole show on it later but but i'm gonna do a whole show on it later i gotta have a hill or honors or someone on to tame me or maybe brian on to tame me so i don't get like we just let you go we fan the fire nah you guys are good you guys tame me too but lean in stefan what do you mean by that i don't i don't give a look i don't give a crossfit hq saw that i stole their feed

and ran it on my youtube account during the week and was commentating and they reported it and when they reported it i do believe if my understanding of how things are reported, they had the choice to either have it pulled down or just monetize it, meaning they could have owned it and monetize it off my account. And they weren't selling the feed, by the way. They weren't making money off the feed. It was free on YouTube. And they instead decided to give me a copyright infringement so this account got its first strike and I was just thinking about all the copyrighted music I could hear while their live stream was going I just couldn't stop thinking about it guys

just couldn't stop thinking about all that copyright that Destiny's Child shit you guys play is amazing they're cool with that wonder what loophole they're going through for that one. They're not going through shit. They're just... Okay.

So if I posted a picture of a cheetah... By the way, I really enjoyed the semifinals this weekend. I did enjoy them. And I'm really looking forward to next week. I'm going to fucking ride that... I've never been a team guy, but I'm going to fucking ride that. I've never been a team team guy, but I'm going to ride that fucking Angelo De Chico,

Luke Parker. And I don't know the two ladies name train hard. That's where the drama is for me. Are those guys going to make rich proud? Are they going to sleep? Are they going to not make it and sleep in the fucking back with Fikowski? It won't be allowed to train inside.

Three teams. fukowski he won't be allowed to train inside three teams potentially at the game if i posted a picture of a fucking cheetah no one here would be like oh it's clickbait where's the cheetah no i'm gonna tell you how fast it runs i'm gonna tell you it's an endangered I'm going to tell you that I'm a baller and I bought my mom a $600,000 cheetah coat. Oh, my gosh. Don't tell me it's a picture of Dave. I'm about to tell you what I know about Dave. By the way, that fucking dude's gone black on me. It's gone fucking dark. He's on the podcast where they said he should be avoided at all costs.

Well, about a month ago, he started going dark on me about a month maybe even a little longer started going dark on me a little bit started going dark on me i i did reach out to him and i said hey dude i mean we all know now let's not fucking kid ourselves i know everything you guys know i'm going to show you the dms i got or a handful of them but we all know that that's why the show has to happen everyone knows that he's coming back the rumors are fucking everywhere they were spreading on three continents this weekend i mean everyone in their mother um someone dm me and said uh hey i hear dave is going to the mac next week they don't even crossfit right uh uh easy, easy, easy, gentle, gentle, gentle.

She's feisty this evening. The news, the news is spread. Everyone, the DMs are pouring in and I straight up asked Mr. Castro in a text and I called him and he refuses to answer. He doesn't say anything. He's and he's he's good at that. He's he's a man of very few words. He has he has he has no comment on this. Yeah, exactly. Yep. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Travis. And and what if I told you this? What if I told you I knew what if I told you i knew absolutely nothing but we just posted it ready for this we just posted it on the seven podcast instagram as a fishing expedition to see what if that's what we done did i'd say we caught some fish. Thank you, RJ.

Savant, we know you know nothing. I am nothing. One time. Did you say that again? No, I didn't want to take you off on a tangent, but I got in trouble one time that way for accidentally feeding the family dog a piece of a marijuana brownie.

Wait, wait, wait. How does that go to a fishing expedition tell me that leap well because uh my mom was smarter than an average bear and she goes yeah we took uh we took the dog for a checkup at the vet and the test results came back and it said that they had thc in the system and i was like okay well i just dropped the little piece and she's like you idiot they don't test for thc oh that Oh, that's awesome. That's awesome. Anyhow, sorry to sidebar that. It just came to my mind.

I thought you might get a kick out of that one. Mr. Michael Lyons, who looks like an Icelandic version of our homegrown Brian friend, says, I would say that 96% of people want Dave back. The polls agree. All the polls we have taken show that it is a 90% or more by the people of the CrossFit community.

Let's pull up that first one we read off, Caleb, and then we'll just go through them in any order that they're there. I just picked a handful of DMs that came in. A ton of stuff has come in. If you want to see what people are commenting on or you want to join the fishing expedition head over to the savon podcast instagram account um and don't forget to get your uh ceo shirt or t d c e o shirt my friend i've heard her juicy rumor dave's coming back by the way i purposely chose the people that I didn't know or never heard of

didn't know or never heard of so all these people have no fucking clue who they are yeah so mechcon9 these are the sources we're sharing he was pressured in the comments did you see him he thought you were what say it again who what I don't know but I made three new moderators and just fucking start crushing souls

if you have to. Just fuck it. Behave like you're in my living room. I'm okay with jokes and put downs, but if you start doing dumb shit, like – okay. Next one, Mr. Beaver. Mr. Beaver. I heard a rumor – I'll add some words in here because I'm not real media. I just take the liberty to do that. I heard a rumor there is a morning chalk up article being written about Dave's return to the games this year. You're the true media outlet. I listen to you so you can confirm or deny. Well, you know this person's a retard because they think I'm the real media outlet, and I use words like retard, which proves that I'm not.

But I still take it like…. Yes. Even though this person isn't, they've shown themselves not to be intelligent. I still take this as a solid rumor. And you know, this is true because I'm sure I would guess that Andrew Weinstein told him about it a month ago and they've been working on something ever since okay let's move on you guys liking this is this fun yes get a coat that's great it's good look at that that's me with my finger just scratching shit out on my on the on the photos on my iphone you like my redacted yes yeah yes redacted thank you thank you mr jordan thank you that will pay for four minutes of my son's jiu-jitsu class thank you or one minute of his tennis class that is very kind of you i appreciate that i really do though uh if if everyone had the integrity as mr kerr i could pay my mortgage this month instead of having to uh anyway you know what i do a source tells me crossfit hq is dropping a

a source tells me crossfit hq is dropping big news to do with castro on monday what's today tuesday tuesday everyone get your so we can blow water with our and that's it's your fat talks on so we can – oh, no. I don't think that's it. I appreciate you trying, though. It's like – what's that show with Pat Sajak? I have no idea. And Vanna White.

What was the show? Oh, Wheel of Fortune. Yeah, Wheel of Fortune. It's Wheel of Fortune. I like to buy Val. And did I send you over four, Caleb? Let me check. I think I sent you over four and we just looked at three.

Or did we look at all four? No, I think there's three so far. I think you might have just sent me duplicates. Let me go back and check again. I think there's four. I don't know if we showed all four. I chose four. The only criteria I used are ones that i could try to show

without revealing who sent them to me and to show you that affiliates are being told that and that oh maybe that's the one that hasn't been shown it's the affiliates one yeah and and that these all came from separate continents these came from uh the european continent um this these came from the great prison known as australia and they came from uh knoxville home of the free oh my god castro's coming back now this she's smart that's apostrophe s what great people are nicole and adrian that's not so good english. Every affiliate can breathe again. Oh. Then I'm like, who told you that? And she said, great news spreads fast.

All affiliate owners were told at a. That's where it gets cut off. It's kind of weird. I'll read it to you one more time. OMG, Castro's back. What great people are Nicole and Adrian? Every affiliate can breathe again. Excuse me. Who told you that great news spreads fast all the affiliate owners were told were told at a so now we have questions a what a what seven yeah a what yeah right that's a good question

is seven being trolled it's just like the russian house i don't even know what that means i don't know what that means mark thank you i love australia that uh that uh i love koala bears and it's it's home of some really cool people and nice beaches thank you well this leaves a lot of questions doesn't it like there's just there's many different avenues you go down what's comes back as what like is he just going to clean house and take over the games again it'll ride in like a knight in shining armor and fix all the mishaps that have been going down somebody asked me i was told nothing as an affiliate affiliate owner. How could you say that again?

You were told nothing as an affiliate owner? Yeah, people in the comments were asking, Matt's an affiliate owner. What's he's been told? Nothing. I've received nothing. Did you hear anything? Are you at liberty to say anything, Caleb? Did you hear anything this week?

You were at the syndicate? Not really. Basically, I've heard not much. Basically, I've kind of, Have you heard something you can't say? Have you heard something? No, okay. No, I haven't. I, Oh, you're really wishing you had something. You're like, Oh fuck, you threw me up an alley-oop and I got nothing. I've been on quite a few times and nobody said anything.

Everybody said that it's nothing that I've heard. But, I mean, they're not affiliate owners. I was with some CrossFit staff, but they didn't say anything either. They're also pretty tight-lipped, though. Yes, they're very tight-lipped. I suspect that the people who are there at that event who work for CrossFit, some of those people absolutely do not want Dave coming back. Think of there was a power vacuum there. There's still a power vacuum there. um, who work for CrossFit. Some of those people absolutely do not want Dave coming back. I think of, think of there,

there was a power vacuum there. There's still a power vacuum there. And I think that, uh, that he's not a, um, I think so. I think some bad,

I think some bad shit's probably been done. You know what I mean? Like, um, I think you're sick for a week and you come back and your desks, all your shit in your desk fucked up in the third grade. You know what I mean? Everyone's,

yeah. And two dudes are dating your girlfriend carrie thank you you have beautiful hair beautiful hair thank you i appreciate it i think that the the people that are like i guess like the running the events and stuff they don't i feel like they probably feel that way but the other people that i've talked to that like the affiliate owners in the area they tend to go on the other side of things and they wind back and just to be clear when you say the people who run the events i bet you the semi-final directors wish dave was back i bet you all i bet you all the people in the periphery anyone who has to communicate with hq probably would wish that dave is back the communication

is very clear it's very poignant uh there's no fucking around and those people who are running those events that's how they fucking operate. Yeah. There was another job opening for a semifinal or an athlete relations person. No, seriously. On LinkedIn, there was another job opening for it. Let me see if I can find it.

Wow. Wow. So create a job for it. I want to talk about this Dave thing just a little bit. So, um, by the way, whoever titled the show,

it's fucking hilarious. I don't know if that's a nod to Craig Ritchie because he's like, relax, relax. Everything's fine. Relax, relax. And the title, I don't know the title of the show, but it says, relax, Dave's coming back. I have to guess that these – please. No, that was me. I did that.

Oh, very nice. Good work. Very creative. Nice. Just put in my pre-order for td ceo shirt uh the competition liaison that was thrown under the bus probably wants tdc back yeah yeah for sure anyone who wants to get shit done at a super high level uh wants wants him back anyone who wants the mojo the brand all that stuff wants him back. Anyone who wants the mojo, the brand, all that stuff wants him back.

The people who are butthurt and offended by shit and like – Even they want him back. Well, yeah. Well, eventually they will, right? Because you know you go woke, you go broke. Yeah, and just think about all the mishaps that have happened since he's been gone, whether that's just been because there's been so much internal struggle. Look, this is from the outside perspective looking in, obviously just been because there's been so much internal struggle. Look, this is from the outside perspective looking in, obviously, but since there's been so much internal struggle inside HQ and it just seems like the ball's being

dropped time and time again, and they're having really fumbled responses back to all these different videos that are coming out and these flaws that are being pointed out. Now, athletes are becoming really vocal against some of this stuff. And like, it just seems like it's really tough for HQ to get their hands wrapped around it right now and they need somebody who's going to come in and kind of like you know kicking the the bar door and like the dust moves behind them and everybody kind of looks over their shoulder and they're like oh shit no more screwing around anymore if he came back into a game's role position right like how could he not i that's the thing positions available right now what what position would you what two positions could you put him in?

Me? They don't currently have like – well, they have a CEO. I have to guess that it's an interim CEO. But they have a CEO, so I have to guess either they're going to put him somewhere really high in the food chain. Like someone who put in the money – like anyone who invested in the company. I don't know if there's like one guy who paid $50 million. Yeah, we still don't know if there's like one guy who paid 50 million we still don't know hundreds of millions but whoever that is if you want the company to succeed that person's got to be like yo what the fuck you don't have the seal team six

guy in there yeah that's ridiculous are you fucking out of your mind yeah like that guy's gonna live through anything he's gonna he would get through this rope scandal the transgender scandal the ceo fucking molested a kid scandal nothing can stop him he already went overseas and fucking you know you know what he did and he came back i think like like why is he not in the fucking so he's he's got to lead something you can't he's so so he's either going to come back and lead the holy cow, Frank. Honestly, I would have wished that you would have said 69-69. Just don't.

Frank, text me. You can come over for a handy after this. We'll be done in 30 minutes. 99-99 gets you a handy. This is like we're a real show now. You said that out loud, Sousa. that's your inside thoughts damn it frank look what you've done you got me all worked up over here he's all flustered over

there we just we just made more in one donation than get what the programming's made in three years swing from it chase oh my goodness oh my gosh don't send me any dirty text either a picture your cock again again dave comes back he should come back in a leadership position that he could also affect the whole community as well and what i mean by that is the l1 in the affiliate owners not just the athletes in the crossFit games, in my opinion. Well, would that position be CEO? Yeah. Without a doubt.

Hey. Who do you want to go to battle with? Some tech exec or a CL6 trucking? I mean, you could put him in anywhere. Right. It seems like they got a great guy running the affiliate department in Gary Gaines. He's fucking beyond fucking creative. I hate to say it, but I took a ton of my vision from him when I was media director, a ton of my vision from Greg.

Like almost all of it. Yeah, but is his agency back too? He could go back to work with Nicole in the training department. The training – you want to fucking invigorate the – any way you bring Dave back, it's going to invigorate the whole company. But the engine of that company is the train. Yeah, the whole community. The engine of that, of that, of that company, the engine of that company is the training department. And Nicole's got it under wraps. Don't get me wrong.

But, but, but, but they're still, they're get me wrong. But they're still wounded. They're still wounded. If you brought them back and integrated Dave in there, I assume Nicole would be okay with it. I don't know that. I was just thinking about it the other day. The L1 staff in the department is kind of like the lifeblood for all the affiliates and the continued growth of CrossFit. and the continued growth of CrossFit. Because if you don't constantly have a massive pipeline of people going through that L1 and excited to take their CrossFit education

to that next level, you lose the pipeline of qualified coaches coming through the door of affiliates. Then you get in a situation like with us in California as a few people start to move out, you look around and there's not the same people coming through the L1 and excited about getting it and excited about coaching. So if you pump that up and bring that back to life in a major way through media and other things like that,

that we've discussed on here before you could reinvigorate that department, reinvigorate the pipeline of new affiliate owners in coaches for the existing affiliates as well. Dude, you just came up with a fucking brilliant idea. Did you hear it? No, we're going to have to play it back. I just, I blacked out right there and forgot everything. Dude. So they just raised it. They. Dude, so they just raised the L1 fees to whatever, $1,300 or $1,100. What was it raised to?

It's actually $150, right? Okay, they should have raised it $600, but whatever because it's been $1,000 forever. And I did the math. I think they should have raised it $558 or something. Okay, so they raised it 558 bucks or something okay so they raised it to 1150 okay how about this how about this to support all the affiliates out there you raise the l1 fees to 1300 but if you're sponsored by an affiliate meaning they vouch for you you get it for 1100,100 or $1,000.

And what that does, do you love that? Yep, because it promotes it in the affiliate now. Now I'm going to people that can be good or that can utilize it. And it doesn't matter if there's somebody who you have in mind for a coach or just a member of the gym that you knew would just benefit twice as much from that detailed education that you get through the weekend at the L1. I just plucked that from your little peanut brain. Wow, that was good.

Okay, well, we've just solved your problem, CrossFit. We will take the checks at any time. It really is a fucking brilliant idea. And fire up the media team. Of course. And then, of course, you get the media rolling, and then that same kind of effect happens throughout the affiliates with the media. People are sharing that content.

You're getting the stories. I remember you said when you were like, yeah, I was there and we didn't really know what to do. It was just kind of like whatever. And you just went right back to your roots. You started showing back up at the L1s, finding some of the more heavier set people there and going right to them and being like, what are you doing here and learning those stories and showing the movements of the l1 like we need so much more of that uh content coming out and being able to be distributed by the affiliates and from the company why do you think we as an affiliate as an affiliate why do you think you need more of that because is that your affiliate hat yes this is my affiliate hat and the reason for it is

because we really need to invest into the methodology i mean not only because it's the heartthrob of crossfit where it started from but the reason for it is because we really need to invest into the methodology. I mean, not only because it's the heartthrob of CrossFit where it started from, but the reason for it is because now it could combat against some of this craziness that they're claiming is going on outside the walls of the affiliate as well. Right? Like what? Like what do you mean? What craziness? Like the pandemic and these monkey pox and all types of stuff. If you start to have the self-confidence in what your body could do because you're putting out the gym and you're safeguarding and building a hedge against sickness by eating correctly and getting processed foods out of your life and everything else and surrounding yourself with a community of like-minded people, you're not going

to be really tuned into that BS. So not only do you have that as a combating piece against what's happening, but on top of that, now you've been able to reinvigorate the CrossFit community in a different way, something outside of sport, a true definition in separation. I'm so sorry. You misunderstood me. Thanks, Austin, for the question. You're saying, Sevan, we're both made of money like that, but my affiliate will pay for my cert, but not a lot of people have that luxury.

I'm not saying that the affiliate pay for the cert at all. Right. That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying that if you attend an affiliate, basically, if you attend an affiliate, that affiliate can give you some sort of code or number or voucher that says, hey, I vouch for this guy, and you get $200 off. affiliate basically if you attend an affiliate that affiliate can give you some sort of code or number or voucher that says hey i vouch for this guy and and you get 200 off raise the price even more but let people know if they go through an affiliate they get a discount what you're doing

is you're screaming to the affiliate i mean they have that fucking discount page maybe they already have this maybe i hope they have they have that what's that page that you get access to where you get discounts from like shit? The gift shop? There's some page as an affiliate. Like there's some program. Partners or something like that. Yes. Yes. Maybe it's in there. I use it so much as an affiliate owner. I know exactly what it is.

Yeah. But what I'm saying is, is no, not that the affiliates pay for it at all. I'm not suggesting that at all. What I'm suggesting is, is that if you go to an affiliate and you get the owner to vouch for you get a discount and basically and that kills two birds with one stone it pushes people into affiliates but it also um um gives us more l1 trainers because there i think that what i'm hearing from a lot of affiliates probably a dozen in the last year is that they're having trouble finding trainers seven do you talk to nicole often what do you know i don't? No, I don't. I have not talked to Nicole. The day I got fired,

I think she probably sent me a very nice text. That's cool. Like, hey, I'm really sorry. Fuck you. Like when Rich went over and hit you on that six-place team? Yeah, I'm really sorry. Lose my fucking number. Never talk to me again.

She sent me something nice. I don't know what she said, but it was very nice. I don't even know how to describe my relationship with her. We were all family there. So I would say she was like a sister. Nothing was perfect but um i think that there was a lot of mutual uh respect we both fucking grinded i had nothing i have only the best shit to say about her she's a fucking she's an 11 and a world full of fucking twos

um and and i don't know i don't know what she thinks but i do know that she takes her shit very seriously. Like that. Yeah, that would be my that was the hardest thing working about working with Nicole. She takes everything so fucking seriously. And as you guys see, I work hard, but I think a lot of things are funny. Nicole, Nicole's a perfectionist. So that's what I got. But no, I have not talked to her. But she she wants whatever's best for the

company uh i know she knows um dave's an amazing leader i know she knows that okay so we don't know uh we get two free spots for hosting l1s and give them to our members you're a good dude that's cool how come my my gym is never hosted in l1 it checks all the boxes i even tried to like apply and like you have enough bathroom susan yeah i got bat boy i got bathroom for days i remember that being a stipulation i read over what was necessary for and i thought it was so ridiculous you know maybe you're right if you if you if you if you do do one um if you do do one i'd like to podcast live from there while you're doing that one. Justin, hi.

You can't call in. This isn't a live calling show. It says it on YouTube that it's a live calling show. Oh, shit. All right. Oh, welcome to the show, Justin. How can I help you? I just want to say a few things.

I'm late. I just jumped on and watched live. But a lot of things you guys are talking about i'm an affiliate owner in salt lake city utah i think you know that so long uh salty hive crosses my affiliate i had an ex-girlfriend i had an ex-girlfriend who had that nickname but go on yeah there's something about you and thinking that's sexual i think that's your own thing but uh that's salty it's a beehive we're at the Beehive State. But anyway, I want to address a couple things from an affiliate owner's perspective,

and I know that you are too, Susan, but I couldn't agree more that they should use the affiliate to push people into the L1, L2 courses. And I love the idea of that being some type of discount code or relationship or like acknowledging that Salty Hive has had 10 L1 trainers in the last couple of years or whatever that is. There seems to be a major disconnect between the affiliates helping headquarters and headquarters helping affiliates. And that's how I feel. One huge example of this, and it baffles me. I, and I'm just a little guy in a big pond,

but I messaged Adrian Bosman and Justin Berg on Instagram. That's just the only way I could get to them during the open. And I just said, I think it's, I think it's baffling, during the open. And, and I just said, I think it's, I think it's baffling, baffling to me that they're going to ask me to pay $20 to sign up for the open. I gladly did. I gladly gave them my 20 bucks, but there was 109 people from Salty Hive CrossFit that signed up for their open because of me and my affiliate and my coaches. And, and it it's like it just baffled me that they're asking their affiliate owners to pay that $20 fee like it's that's the smallest smallest little thing they could do to be like you know what we appreciate everything you do pushing the methodology

getting 109 people to sign up from your affiliate don't worry about giving us that 20 bucks what is that what would you call that what would you call that just an etiquette or what do you call that i think i call it disrespect okay okay wait hold on could i do one sec just just interject one one thought into there real quick just for the way you thought please so what if you're 20 in the support of your community all doing the open the hundred non people and you know the money that that involved could increase the whole entire pie of the CrossFit community by two or three percentage points every single year the community bought in on it.

So therefore, kind of creating a larger pool of people that could be interested in the affiliates overall, which then gives you long-term new leads over a long period of time. Yeah, I get what you're saying. You know what I'm saying? Does that make sense? Yeah. Is that not what my $3,000 a year is going to? I view that as the licensing, right? So then that way when somebody types in CrossFit near me or gym near me,

that you could put the CrossFit and attach it to your website which more people search for than you know matt suza's gym near me so there is still some value attached go ahead oh sorry i interrupted you but i see the three thousand dollars a year and paying homage to the methodology because whether I call my gym, Justin's CrossFit, Salty Hive CrossFit or Joe's gym, I'm going to do constantly very functional movements performed with intensity. I'm going to, I'm going to preach, eat meat and vegetables, something to eat some fruit, a little starch, no sugar like that.

I believe in it. And I'm, I'm still paying that because of Glassman right and i i could be wrong and all that stuff the other thing did you just say you're still paying that because of glassman because of his methodology yeah yeah you know what that's so interesting there's a whole show on that basically what you're saying is you're playing you're paying the money there's two bags out there there's a a Louis Vuitton bag and there's a bag out there that doesn't say Louis Vuitton. They're the exact same bag. And because out of some sort of respect for that brand, you're going to pay for the more expensive bag. It's interesting. There's something weird. There's something cool going on there. I mean, I think it shows you have integrity. shows you have integrity i don't know if it's required i wouldn't think less of you if you de-affiliated but but man in the day i would have maybe five years ago i would have but man it shows some integrity on your part like yo like like fuck like he made this and and yeah it's interesting i wonder how many people will still be like that as greg gets further and further away from the

company yeah that is interesting i mean there's going to become a point in our life where no one even knows his name. It's like 10 or 15 years away. Someone lost in my gym. I, I, I dropped his name at least once a week in a brief. Awesome. You're a good dude. like what you're paying $3,000 a year to somebody that doesn't own the company anymore, Justin. Like I realized that there's some disconnect, but as I, one of my least favorite things in the fitness, and I guess you could call it CrossFit space is the gym that's doing CrossFit and it's not affiliated. It, it, it like leaves the, at least the worst taste in my mouth. It's like, dude, you're drinking, you're drinking the Kool-Aid, selling the Kool-Aid, preaching the Kool-Aid and you can't just pay like homage,

respect to like who came up with the Kool-Aid recipe. Like, like who do you, if you're doing something different and then that's fine, but you're doing CrossFit. And so, and so that, maybe that's part of the reason I'm continuing to be an affiliate is because I've really struggled with the gyms that are rocking the CrossFit mojo, but think that they're cooler than CrossFit. Anyway, the other thing— Sorry, really quick to interrupt. Nico Nunes wants to know, where is Dave?

He'll be on in five. Yeah, he'll be on in five minutes as soon as he's done with your mom. Okay, sorry. Go ahead, Justin. So, Vaughn, this is kind of a clarification. You made a comment that they're looking for L1 trainers. Are you referring to that they're looking for people to be on the seminar staff? No.

What I'm saying is that affiliate owners have told me um that it's become very difficult to find people to work at oh i got yeah so when someone leave like there's become a premium on that so sorry for them and thank you for the clarification no you're you're good i and this is i've got more coaches than i have classes available for those coaches. Like I got members lined up that want to take their L1, that want to coach. I've got members that are L1, and I just don't have like the time to,

well, I don't have the resources to pay. I want to coach too. What do you think about charging 1,500 bucks for the L1, but if an affiliate owner vouches for you, they can give you a coupon and you get it for like 1100 bucks and now and i i mean i fucking love that idea yeah i agree i think i mean seven eight nine maybe ten l1s at my gym and i i would argue that all of them have done the L1 with at least some, if not all motivation after talking to me about it. Right. I mean, I'm, I'm selling that,

that sort of certification course for headquarters. So yeah, I mean, if there'd just be something like, Hey, we appreciate, like for God's So, yeah, I mean, if there'd just be something, like, hey, we appreciate, like, for God's sake, hey, we appreciate you sending Joe Schmo to the L1. Thanks for the good work you're doing at Healthy Hive. Like, hey, that's cool, right?

Like, whatever it is, whether it's monetarily or there's just some type of verbal communication between headquarters and affiliate owners that are out there like fighting the fight uh one more thing before before i let you go i want to say craig howard

seems to agree with you but he wants to take it even further give every affiliate owner a few free open entries so we can give them to a coach remember you and basically i i think if i understood what suza was saying is correct is you could easily run the numbers on that in a couple years and figure that out let's say you give away 10,000 free entries. And so that's – what's that? $20 times 10,000 is what? $200,000, right? So then you have to figure from there, did that $200,000 investment turn into $400 or $600 or $800 or $5 million?

And I think it would be easy very easy to figure out and i think good money would bet on that that's an easy thing if every i mean craig's right if if he's not going to do the affiliate the open and then all of a sudden you give every affiliate four free entries then those affiliates might be like well fuck it we're going to do it i mean what's the payoff there so okay thank you i want to say one thing one more you already said you already said five. You already said five things. Okay. Well, so two, maybe two more things. I agree with what was...

Go, go, go, go. You're a bully. Go. Bully your way. I'm reporting you to the bully police. Go. You won't do it. You won't do it. I agree with what's said about the Open and what I literally repeated to my members that are like, hey, I'm not going to make quarterfinals. I have no dreams of going to the game. Why would I sign up for the open? My response quickly was because your $20 allows more people like you to find more places like this pointing to the gym. So that, that's why I paid it.

That's why I got 109 people to pay it. Cause I think that $20 goes to headquarters and allows more people that need to find CrossFit affiliates to find CrossFit affiliates. Peace and love. I'll hang up. Thank you. Thank you. Jody, I think I made you – Justin, thank you, by the way. You're a good sport.

Jody, I think I made you a moderator just so you know. Chris G., not to be confused with –za sean g thank you uh the search for a cf gym topic is outdated i'm part of my of a gym that is not affiliated anymore and we get more hits on google than gyms in the area with crossfit in their name it's all about c i don't know what c means, but does it mean SEO? It's the CEO. Okay. Oh, yeah. Okay. All right.

Oh, I want to see Jody and Bruce try to have a moderator war, like have a contest who can kick more people off the show. No, don't start kicking people off the show. You're all bots. Get out of here. You're real tight around here. Someone said we should check out Carl Kasperbauer's Instagram. I saw that. I think it was from Travis Bellinghausen.

That's the second comment you've made about the L1. Who the fuck is doing an L1 but isn't already an affiliate, though? Your other comment was it's too expensive to do an l1 unless um unless you want to be a coach i want to tell you something if i didn't know about crossfit and i had never taken the l1 i'm i i could totally see why you're saying that but for i would say the vast majority of people who take the crossfit level one it ends up becoming the greatest two days of their education and the history of their fucking life whether they're 15 years old or 75 years old you will find kinesiology fucking majors to the fucking end of the fucking earth

who said they learned more in those two days more that was applicable more that was useful more more better more better than everything that they learned in the four years at kinesiology school. I'm one of them. So, so, so maybe you're right. Maybe for, thank you, Caleb. Maybe from far away, you say that you're like, Holy cow, how can something cost a thousand bucks, dude? It's life.

The shit you learn in there, you take with you. I mean, it saved my whole fucking family. My mom, my sister, my wife, we all do it. My mom's one of the best CrossFitters I know. And she's 70 300 years old oh my goodness uh greg mountain i just renewed out of respect for greg what greg created i owe my whole career from yeah there's something like that going on yeah

that's interesting huh i wonder if it was like but it's also but it's also this podcast i mean this is this is this is where this is where the greg east does live oh my goodness guys we have a podcast with this guy so so we choose one of the guys for california hormones you know it's gonna be crazy about the show for the next year we're gonna follow a handful of people who are gonna get onto trt and this guy that we have coming on Monday, his name's Paul, and his life is crazy. Like he's done it all, like gangster shit.

It's going to be a crazy show. I'm excited about it. He's a businessman, entrepreneur, and former hustler of the highest level, LA, rap star shit. And at 38 years old, I think he was 38, he got COVID and he spent 82 days in a coma in the hospital when i met him he had a fucking hole in his throat and a hole in his tummy his tummy and he still does he still have those holes i when i when were

you there when we what are you were you there no When we, when you were, were you there? No, I literally had left. Yeah. You were telling me about it. And I'm like, what? I think he might be, I think he might be a brown belt. He's some high level belt in Brazilian jujitsu and he goes to brown belt and he goes to some crazy jujitsu school there that like all the dudes are like, Oh, like it's a real brown, brown belt. Yeah. And, um, and, and, uh, he went and got tested and he was telling me his numbers today. And that shit is, is, is pretty damn low. And he's, he's, I think he's getting the, um, he's getting the pellets or something

that we talked about. Yeah. That they insert inside and it does like a time release over a period of time. Yes. And, uh, and then from there, I'm just watching all the money pour in. I can't even think straight. I know me either. I'm too distracted.

The comments I've been like going so quick that I've like constantly just caught myself trying to like keep up with them to field any of them. But it's tough. I will do my best to not drop F-bombs in front of Annie tomorrow. That's a very good question. Thank you. Thank you. Maybe you can come on the show and remind me to keep my language. But it is going to be a fascinating show.

I'm super excited to talk to her. Wireless caller. How are you? We'll be good.'s up guys it's plumber oh will dude dude is checking what did you think of the semi-finals huh what did you think of the semi-finals this past weekend yes i know last year yeah yeah yeah uh i them. It was fun to watch. Um, I don't know. I didn't watch all the events. I'd watch the recaps and listen to you guys to get the storylines behind it, but it was cool seeing some of the newcomers and new faces like Tudor. Oh, Tudor Magda. I got to get him on the show. I'm courting him in his DMS.

Let it be known. And then I'm heartting him in his DMs. Let it be known. Oh, yeah. We got to get him. And then I'm heartbroken for James Sprague. Oh, me too. Me too. Like one point. Hey, you know what I should do, Will? I should kick fucking Taylor Self to the curb and bring James Sprague on as my, as my, as my, I kick the thumb, kick the thumb to the curb. I mean, James Sprague's got, he's better looking than the thumb. I'm straight, but you're going to get more money with James Sprague on the show.

Oh, well, James Sprague. He's making the big calls. James Sprague, that is great. Yeah, we should have him. Tutor. Tutor. Yeah, he talked good. He talked good, too.

He talked real good. He talked real good. Getting to see him at Waterpalooza and stuff and talking with him there, too. Do you have anything you want to say, or I'm going to ask you one more question, Will, and then kick you to the curb. Yeah, I was going to talk about the L1 and the academic value behind it

because I'm an exercise science major. So I took it last summer in Madison before the game. Took my L1 after two years of exercise science school. And so I, I'd like kinesiology, physiology, some of those classes done already. So I had a pretty good base knowledge,

but that two day course, it, if not, it's comparable to it, an exercise science degree. It's better than, cause it's, it's more compact.

It's two days and you could start coaching the next day where I have to go to school for two more years until I'm qualified until I have a degree. Uh, and then also I took the ACSM certified personal trainer cause my school gives it to us or like pay for it basically to take it. Um, and that test compared to the L1 test, it's much more longer, but it's, it's not,

it's not quality. It's talking, they're worried about legal stuff and what, what you need to talk to the doctor. And does this person need medical clearance? That's exactly what I say to my wife about her ex-boyfriend. It's longer, but it's not quality.

You've arrived here, but go on. Sorry. It's a little thicker. Yes. Yeah. It's longer, but it's not quality. You've arrived here. Go on, sorry. It might be a little thicker. Yes, yes. It might be longer, but the L1 is more dense. It's more dense. It's got better

movement. So, I don't know if you remember there. Did you take your L1 test, Devon? No, I didn't. I did not take the l1 test seven no i didn't i did not take the l1 test i've seen it i've seen i've seen them um okay ad nauseum but but i have not actually taken the test like passed it to somebody before like so there's the there's the questions about like movement quality and basically like is this proper form or technique or what's wrong? There were three questions about like movements or pictures of a movement in the test out of 150 questions,

three where I was actually like talking about movement. Did you get the question about the dog step up? No. Okay. No, he's not. Yeah. On the ACSM by the way Will you might be glad to know that in the CrossFit test

they've already integrated that shot of on the online test of Scott Pancheck twisting his ankle they say what could be have done to fix this situation and there's choice A, cut the rope shorter. Choice B, don't give a fuck.

Choice C, cart him off the stage and deny you did anything. You get to choose. I mean, that's how it integrated, Scott. Because they want to learn from the situation. They want the whole community to advance from the mistakes of others. Now, I know this is far out and off topic. Have you guys looked at the programming for the granite game? Some of the workouts that are coming out?

No, but I can't go with that, that granular. But if you want to come on that show and battle it out with Brian or whoever I'm going to have on or Mr. Mr. Howell, J or Howell,

the silent and sexy type that you are, you're welcome to. I would love to have you on for that. All right. I'll show you text. It's weird. The teams are snatching twice. When I hear snatch, I giggle. Okay, bye.

Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. I think you can start the show from the beginning. I think we talked enough about Dave. I think we know something is happening. I think we know a rumor has dave i think we know something is happening i think we know a rumor has spread i know i think i think what's happened is is so many fucking people know

and so many people are talking about it and maybe and also i live in in a bit of an echo chamber but so many people know and so many people are talking about it but so many people are afraid for some reason to talk about it i would like to know two things i would like to know why it's taking so long for it to come out maybe it'll never come out maybe it's just complete horse shit right like like someone was saying maybe maybe dave's um hired a media team and been like okay i need 50 people to dm seven and tell him that so that he says that and that'll shit i'm open to it uh and then two what position is he going to take when he comes back? Yeah. Those are the questions at hand. Yeah.

So that's where we are. That's where we are. Stefan, you can have Deftsy Technus back on and talk about his recovery in CrossFit. Okay. Is he back? Is he back in action? He's getting pretty close. I saw him doing some ring training a little bit ago. Hey, could you play that real caleb that uh we got we got a real person

r-e-e-l a real the real seven on podcast got a real person i think this is going to be huge real but i think this is going to be huge it's on your page isn't it uh yes yes uh when dave comes back some heads will roll you think so anthony what am i tripping tdc is coming back i mean we're all tripping we were happy we're all tripping uh I was sitting okay here we go and then I'll tell you something I'll tell you something go ahead under the age of seven this guy does only two things works out and fucks his wife Mike McDonald

I just learned about him today five kids under the age of seven this guy does only two things works out and fucks his wife I love it so you don't even have to watch the whole show anymore you can just go to like um fans only or facebook or wherever and watch reels or snapchat and why and why you won't have to watch the whole show i saw you roll your eyes caleb i'm looking at you you just get the best snippets clip that clip that jen clip that

rolled his eyes at me. Clip it. Zoom in. So we don't know. But I've been hearing about it long enough that I wanted to say something. I wanted to say something. I wanted to say something. And then I didn't say anything.

And then when the DM started coming in from affiliates, then I knew. Okay. Then I knew. My favorite book is – I don't even know if you call it a book. It's called The Tao Te Ching. It goes everywhere with me. I bought that too. It's with me as well. Did you buy the Stephen Mitchell edition? No. I just got – it was at a local bookstore. Is it little and look like this?

It's little, but it does not look like that. I mean besides being – God damn it, Caleb. Look, I just opened the book up to number 75. When taxes are too high, people go hungry. When the government is too intrusive, people lose their spirit. Act for the people's benefit. Trust them.

Leave them alone. The great Tao has spoken. That was a good one. T-A-O-C-H-I-N-G. I only keep it because it's written by a Chinese man, and I don't want anyone to think I'm racist. Good call. Thank you. I think that's it for the show.

Tomorrow morning we have Annie Thor's daughter on. I think it's going to be a fantastic show. I haven't talked to her in a long time. I'm very honored to talk to her. I will try to keep my language clean, Mr. Ken. I admire her as a human being. What she's done I think is awesome. HQ moves to Boulder to the ranch no dei council everyone starts

carrying pistols ah we can dream all right andrew i like it that is good oh where's my phone oh let me see who else is on so tomorrow morning show is going to be great um and i'm and i'm very well prepared for it uh then uh oh uh g Greg Glassman comes into Santa Cruz tomorrow. So hopefully I will have dinner with him. That will not be streamed live. Probably. Uh, on Thursday we have David Lucas on at 7am. Uh, he, if you don't know who that is, go ahead and Google his name.

Then on the 27th, we have, uh, Athena Perez on at 7am. Um, you should run out. You do want to read her book, lifting the weight Perez on at 7 a.m. You should run out. You do want to read her book, Lifting the Weight. I talked about it this morning. You have to read this book. We're going to talk a lot about this book, and we're going to talk a lot about her new seminar. If you want to take the L1 or you want to take Athena's seminar and you want to find it easily, you should go to the Sevan podcast, subscribe to the newsletter, and there are links to these two seminars at all times in every newsletter. Someone wrote, who's Greg Glassman.

I love it. Thank you. That just shows you this. Look at our reach. Those of you who are going to run off and suggest this is clickbait, I leave you with the statement that i said earlier if i posted a picture of a cheetah and there wasn't a cheetah on the show you would not be mad at me it's ridiculous i did not post it in any way and think for a second that you would

think that i was going to have dave on the show but just that i i feel like it's time to chat Oh, and let's finish with this, please. What is it? Can we go to Vindicate? This shirt. This shirt. I don't know if I like that look you just gave. I mean, I'm just in shock. Hello. Hello.

Hello. Hi, you're live on the air. Hello. Hello, welcome to the show. TDC CEO shirt. You should get it now. Vindicate. It's a great shirt I'm not sure how many we're gonna have

Get them while they're hot though Not many it isn't exclusive Hey girl you're live What's up Well I just wanted to say hi Hi you're live on the show We're live on the show right now Oh shit well I am freaking slow Hi. Hi. Hi. You're live on the show. We're live on the show right now. Oh, shit.

Well, I am freaking stoked. I'm freaking stoked. Talk to you on Friday. Yeah, it's going to be an amazing show. I'm halfway through the book. It is fantastic. I am so stoked that I'm going to have you on. I'm so stoked to hear about your new seminar.

It's like I'm at the 90-yard line as I am as excited about all the money I'm going to make off the TD CEO shirts. You know, I see all those little comments down there. Yeah, yeah, no DEI council. They all know, right? Yes. Athena is on the DEI council, and I, and Athena

and I, we are a little for more than acquaintances now they know hey everyone is welcome to my house it's like I was telling someone the other day what's that you probably don't want to be on for

this it was nice talking to you I'll see you Friday okay all right bye like I was saying It was nice talking to you. I'll see you Friday, okay? All right. Bye. Like I was saying, I told a friend today, I would have a threesome with a tranny, whether it was man to woman or woman to man. With my wife, of course. That's why it's a threesome. Yeah.

My best friend might be transgender. I actually had a transgender person who was somewhere in the operation just less than a year ago in my house. You are welcome in my house. Of course you are. And I'll explain that to you why in a second, Tommy. I had a transgender person in my house watching the UFC, and we partied like fucking rock stars. But you cannot play women's sports if you were ever a man. And I have spoken. Tommy, here's the thing.

You guys have to realize this, and this is what's the difference between people who have kids and people who don't have kids. have kids. No matter how often, no matter what I say about not liking someone, no matter, no matter what I say about not liking someone or having some frustration towards someone, or even my dear Andrew Weinstein, no one has done it. No one in my, as long as you're not hurting my kids, it's like nothing. Everything in life is relative. If I thought for a sec, like, like I would get on my knees and if someone came in my house and Tommy had a gun, I would get on my knees and beg him for the gun so I could shoot the intruder. Like there's no – in this world of drama and hatred, once you have kids, the rest of this is just a joke. It's just fun. I know he doesn't have – does he have kids? I don't know if he has kids.

The rest of this is just a joke and fun relative to what my real life is like. My real life is putting on Band-Aids, kissing little boys, bathing them, getting them dressed, making sure that they're nice to girls, holding doors open. Making sure that they wipe their butt. Making sure they don't get hit by a car. That's my real life. This is just – i want to be a comedian and i know some shit about crossfit so you guys are stuck with me okay uh caller go ahead i'm i'm i'm awesome good etiquette awesome hey uh quick question for you actually two-parter do you think with like people's attention getting shorter, workouts like – more of them, like workouts like Grace, Helen, Jackie would be more entertaining to watch than, say, the longer workouts like a ruck? And do you think the short ones determine the fittest person, or do you think the long ones make the fittest person?

I don't – God, I really want to talk to you about that i just don't think this is the right show but they're fucking great questions i think yeah we need when we have james sprague on can you call back oh yeah yeah okay and then last one what do you think about like say there was like a random person that came up jim smith was going against madero's do you think there's anyone at the highest level that's like, oh, wait, this person might be Madero's. We don't know who Jim Smith is.

I'm going to throw an event and it's going to be called the California Hormone Games. And anyone in the fucking world, and it's going to be the biggest prize, bigger than the prize money at CrossFit Inc., I think. It's going to be massive. And anyone in the world can come.'re gonna do a little open or something a little our own little

version i don't know if that's trademark sorry if it is i said i said opened and don't copyright don't copyright and uh and you know who's gonna come there and win that shit? Who? Justin. Because that fucking dude can win, like, with the most juiced up motherfuckers in the world or not. Like, there's no one who can beat him. He's the man. He really is. We're looking at fucking Tia with a cock. Do you think people are, like, tied going into the final event event they should go to the hopper to make it

totally random so there was no chance of maybe being pre-written oh you have me talking about the games can we do this when james sprague is on i'm sorry i'm sorry man i love you i love you bye thanks for the call you know the question about the long and short though my quick take on it is like the long is necessary and you're not you only the true true fans are going to watch that start to finish but if program right the short wins are exciting because like what dave always used to do our regionals is there was always event seven or seven events usually was always a sprint event at the end because he knew over time there's going to come down to where it's going to come down to that workout and it's going to be by a few points and you're going to have a big shuffle of the leaderboard especially if you have those random do that like this is their workout you

know so they're going to get first and everybody else is going to get the points that are left over that's when it gets really good is when you have the art of programming to to include a good fitness of test but do it in a way that also still captivates the audience that was something i'm replacing suza with james sprague too suza and and the thumb both replaced that sucked i thought that was pretty no is that it was great it was great but it was just about the games no no what you said was like i got replaced no just it's games talk uh mr olsen you're a good dude hi um i could show some stuff from the live call-in show we've been on an hour i do want to prepare i want to get on the assault bike and prepare a little bit more for annie um oh there was one let's finish with this uh um kevin can

you pull up 181 uh family guy cheers thank you thank you mr olsen mr olsen olsen dude's good guys yeah that is a good dude. Don't answer every show. Number 181, Family Guy. Yeah, do you know what this is? This one's so good. I do. I'm also loving it. I think I might as well call it that. Okay, here we go.

Can't get period. Brian, it's 2022. There's no such thing as a boy anymore or a girl. Just a vast sea of chubby theys and them, so coddled by their sanctimonious, woke parents who think activism is virtue-signaling on Instagram. If Martin Luther King could come back and see what they were doing in his name, he'd never stop throwing up.

Maybe you are having your period. Stewie, trust me, boys don't have periods. Brian, it's 2022. There's no such thing. Thank you guys for listening. I hope you were truly entertained. We will stay on top of this like we stay on top of...