The Sevan Podcast - #440 - David Lucas

Episode Date: June 8, 2022

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David Lucas coming on at 1130. I just came on five minutes earlier to say, what's up? I made a post today. I'm like so excited at how much traction it's getting. You know what I did? I took a, I took a news story and I posted it in my Instagram and and normally I'm shadow man. No one ever sees any of my stuff and in this news story it says CNBC on it or something like that or CNN or something it's from some news organization

like that and it's talking about Ben and Jerry's trying to stop gun violence and all of a sudden everyone can see my account, it's so weird I want to thank Hiller for making that video the bug video now he's made two nice videos about me it's kind of weird

it's kind of cool I mean I'm happy about it it's weird just because it's weird for me because I'm just uncomfortable taking that kind of praise or accolades I feel like I feel like I should be the only one praise or accolades. I feel like,

I feel like I should be the only one talking about how great I am. Now the show is pushed. Bruce. Hi, bam. We're here. Yeah. He just pushed it back 25 minutes.

No, just five minutes. Well, you're right. You're right. It was 25 minutes at first. It is an interesting post I made today. It's an interesting post. It was an exercise in math. It was basically talking about the damage, the people dying from eating ice cream versus the people dying from gun violence. And it was just to use that, a common denominator. And the common denominator was lives lost.

Days of life lost. Days of life lost. And people immediately read into it and were like, it's not the same. Guns kill people. Ice cream, you only kill yourself. And there was this whole,

first of all, that's not true at all. But that wasn't my point. Not even close. Not even close not even close but don't tell me that you taking not taking care of yourself doesn't fucking kill people down the road because that we we saw the suicide rates are the highest they've ever been this year and why are they so high it's pretty obvious because we just did we played pandemic for two years to protect obese people from covid because those

are the only ones who are dying and when i say the only the ones are dying 80 90 99 yeah the comments are ridiculous it's but here's the thing it just those i just wish those people would know you're just trapped in your head i know you were triggered triggered. I know gun violence sucks. I know the death of kids sucks. But what also sucks is if I'm trying to talk to you about something and your emotion clouds your ability to see the truth. At the end, what do you think would save more kids' lives? That's all I'm asking. I'm not even saying we should get rid of ice cream.

I love ice cream. It is my favorite food. But people can't see that because you have a runaway brain that you are trapped inside of and you cannot think clearly. It's like, yeah, it's so funny. Okay. They feel targeted. Yeah, I know. You're right.

Very well said, Lucy. They feel targeted. Like I'm asking. You're right. Very well said, Lucy. They feel targeted. Like I'm asking them to give up their ice cream. Or I'm saying ice cream is more dangerous than guns are. I'm just pointing out math. Yeah. They feel targeted. You're right. And they can't think clearly when they feel targeted. Just asking you to do the simple math. And you'd be blown away, and maybe you don't want to see it because then you'd be forced to take action.

Those are the same people who hate the liver king, or they're fixated on the fact that he's juiced up. Like, who cares? Or the fact that he flies in a jet but argues the nine tenets of ancestral life. Why are you judging him? Worry about your own shit. Figure it out. Take what you can from him.

He wants to be used. Use him. Cherry pick the good shit. Figure it out. Take what you can from him. He wants to be used. Use him. Cherry pick the good shit. When do you think society started to decline? I don't know. Maybe it's not declining. Maybe this is like a purge. You know what I mean? Like a shedding of the week. I don't know. I don't know what's going on. There's got to be some sort of big picture. I saw David Hiller put out a video. I saw David Hiller put out a video criticizing Danny Spiegel's burpees. Is that what it is? Well, basically, first I started seeing a video going around this morning

showing Danny Spiegel's chest wasn't touching at the bottom of the burpees. It's a slow-mo video, and basically you see that her chest doesn't touch. Oh, I heard another great rumor that I want to share with you. I don't know if I can share it with you. Let me ask on this thread I'm on. Can I talk about the... all right i just sent a text asking sorry sorry but oh yeah they feel targeted oh i meant to um dang you're nice that's a cup of coffee for my whole family i meant that um i'm to send you my phone number now. That's how easy it is.

If you give me enough money, I share my phone number. I wonder if I've ever given you my... How come you don't pop up in my DMs? I know I follow you. What's your Instagram? Olson? Yeah, that is how much coffee costs in California. I was telling David Lucas. So, you know, when I had, um, when I had Alex Stein on Alex stream, this show simultaneously

to his station as well as mine. And he made like $500. So I was sharing that with David Lucas today. I was like, Hey dude, if you want to, uh, stream your show live on your station at the same time, you can kind of like, you can, you can hide that. Oh, okay. Thank you. Let me look it up. Let me look it up.

Okay. Oh, darn it. Oh. Okay. Maybe I shouldn't spread that. Maybe I shouldn't talk about that rumor i heard yet m-a-t oh yeah i found it okay i'm texting my phone number that way you can always just text me

bam done um david lucas is saying that he wants it emailed to him. Okay. How do I do that? Sorry. Sorry, guys. Sorry. You guys are so patient bear with me here the seven podcast i came on early to talk to you guys and now instead all I'm doing is busy work I am done okay I don't think people realize that I go live

so they think it's okay to come late maybe I don't realize I'm live that's why it's okay I think it's okay to come late maybe i don't realize i'm live that's why it's okay i think it's okay to do some house cleaning while while i'm live with you guys yeah so the post i made it's uh it's it's it's crazy because normally i can't get more than like three comments on a post and in in 12 likes 13 views. This thing has like, God knows how many here's $5. Cause you're a good dude. I don't need your phone number. You know, you want it. Don't lie. You know, you want it. Helen, Helen. I got your email. Thank you. Did I respond to you? Thank you.

By the way, great email. Talked about it a bunch on the show. I left your name off it. Of course. I left your name off it, of course. I left your name off it, of course. Jeffrey Birchfield, plus one. Simranhitsing. Simranhitsing. Wow, that's a lot of name. Simranhitsing. Simranhitsing. Simranhitsing Wow, that's a lot of name. Simran Heat.

Simran Heat. His mom yelling at him. Simran Heat! Lunch is ready, my boy. Come, come, come inside and eat Simran Heat. Simran Heat Sing. Simran Heat. Is the J, is it Jeet? Simran, is it Jeet

or Heat? I want to say Heat. Hey, someone here from India, love the content. Thank you. I love you. I love your name. I love your accent. I love your country. J, it's a J.

Okay. Simran Jeet. Simran Jeet. Come inside. Bring your brothers. Dinner is served. Racist. It was the only accent i could do as a kid was the indian accent and then i had this insanely hot pakistani girlfriend and she told me my accent was horrible and broke my heart she was maybe the nicest human being besides my wife I ever met.

Like real nice, not like fake nice. Like fake nice, I mean, not nice because they were afraid to tell the truth and couldn't be honest. Uh-oh, check out this money. CHF10, thanks for introducing me to Lindsay and BirthFit. I'm following the pre-birth program now. It's so good. Greetings from Switzerland. Oh, oh shit. That's probably like $3 million in the U S our economy's just

taken a shitter. Ostrich. One of the most amazing birds, right? What a cool bird. What a cool, it's kind of the giraffe of birds. Okay. He should be coming on any minute. Let me see my notes here. Okay, fine. David Taylor was on, is on Kill Tony. He's a regular. How do I know Kill Tony? Kill Tony is some YouTube show. I think they call it the largest live YouTube show. I want to say they get like 300,000 want to see 290 000 live viewers let's ask let's ask david lucas and they have they bring comics on there and the comics have to do one minute of new material a week and then there's like four guests who sit up there on stage with them and

just and just heckle them rip the shit out of them. Uh, David Lucas. Yeah. What did I say? George, George called yesterday. Hi George. Uh, yeah. David Lucas is coming on and I, and I found him through kill Tony and I found kill Tony through Hans and I found Hans through Instagram. And then I also saw, which was fascinating. Um, David Lucas go, there's a video of David Lucas fishing with Hans. It's an hour video. I think they're sitting at Lake Merritt in Oakland.

At least that's what it looks like to me. They used to live over there. And they talk for an hour and it's fascinating. Anyone talking to Hans, period, is fascinating to me. Move to Austin. If I did move there, I would want to do that. I'd want to do, I love the idea do I love the idea thought of the idea of feeling pressure of having to do one minute of content

of comedy every week I think I could I think I could cultivate it from this show there's some funny shit that comes up on here that could run a minute every week there's this one show on there there's this one clip on there of david's from like two years ago and david lucas is uh on kill tony and he's he's the comic and then in that

kind of that four pack in the front that like heckles the comic while he's trying to work uh there's michael bisbing and it's gnarly. Uh, no, I didn't. Uh, did you find Simran? He wants to find,

no. If I found the UFC fight with the blowy in the center of the octagon, the blowy, is that what you guys call it there in India? The blowy. It's a blowy. Uh, I went out to my girlfriend and she gave me a blowy. It was so yummy.

Ah, George Martinez, you the man I want to come on when you do UFC show with Sugar Shane. Ah, that's going to be more than $19.99. But thank you. That's really cool. I don't know. How about I have you come on the show with the dude who's going to knock Sugar Shane out? I am excited. I am excited for a Friday show.

I'm almost more excited. I am more excited for the Friday show with Justin Nunley than I am back in the year. That was good. That was so good. It's David Lucas' mom critiquing his last stand-up routine.

Let's listen in. Are we live right now, bro? We are. Is that your mom critiquing your last stand-up? No, that's not my mom. It's one of your honeys. Yeah. Yeah. Alright, I'm'm gonna hit you back

You can hold me Alright What's up dog David Lucas What's up I am not a morning person Sorry Did you eat or are you just vaping this morning I'm just vaping dog That? Just vaping, dog.

That's my breakfast. I do fasting, bro. How fucking excited am I right now? Don't be too excited. I'm so excited. I might be disappointed. Hey, dude. You know, I mean, for a million reasons, you got balls of steel.

I mean, that gun tattoo on your neck is balls of steel. But you sat down. You know it's not easy to interview Hans, right? No, not at all. Or William. Who's William? Which one's William? I didn't see your interview, William.

No, but we had a podcast together, William Montgomery. Oh, he's hard to interview too yeah any any any entertainer's gonna be hard to interview man we we crazy as hell oh that's funny you say that because I've had like 10 comics on here and like um Justin Nunley's like the only dude who cracked a joke everyone else it's like shit gets serious yeah that's the thing about us we're probably serious a lot though are you streaming this live to your tube your youtube station too no i don't know how to do that yeah fuck god we got to figure that out it was crazy when alex stein did that and i could see his comments in my chat simultaneously. And he was, he was making bank.

Let me call my, let me call my producer and see if he know how to do that. Hello. Let me see. And I'll ask you some easy questions to start. You can, you can multitask. Where were you born? And I'll ask you some easy questions to start. You can multitask. Mm-hmm. Where were you born?

Hold on one second. I'm going to say my B. Yo. I'm doing a StreamYard podcast, and the guy said that we can do it on YouTube Live. Do you want me to send you the thing so you can put it on YouTube Live, or are you good? Is it right now? Yeah. I'm sorry. I'm not by the computer right now. live do you want me to send you the thing so you can put on youtube live or are you good right is

it right now yeah i'm sorry i'm not i'm not i'm not by the computer oh no no no no trip bro no trip okay sorry bro no you're good all right see that's how i have to treat my help too you know what that means that means david lucas isn't paying him enough when you're nice to fucking people like that that means you aren't paying him enough that's my problem too that's why caleb and will and su, you wait till I fucking make some money. I'm gonna fuck you guys up. He gets paid very well, and he gets bonuses

depending on how well my YouTube does. Well, then he fucked up. I'm just a nice gentleman in general. Jeez Louise. For the most part, even though most people think I'm an asshole, I mean, I am an asshole, but I have a good heart. If you ask me to do mean, I am an asshole, but I have a good heart. Like, if you ask me to do something, I might talk shit, but I'll do it.

Well, then let's go fuck where you were born. We'll get back there in one second. Do you ever feel bad? Your roasting is off the chart. And the only type of roasting that I've ever seen like that is just through high school. We would have what we call cap sessions. I don't know what you called them in high school. Did you call it capping? where you from cap uh the bay area

yeah well i'm from the south so um we called it cracking and uh and just like it's like when there's no pussy around and like 10 dudes would just gather like someone's parents house would be 16 in their garage and then just one dude starts capping on the other dude and the next thing you know it's just a session yeah big time all the time every day yeah yeah right right right um but uh um do you ever do you ever uh are there boundaries like when you and bisbing went at it it's you know like if you call him cross-eyed and he can't see you that's funny or if you call him cross-eyed i don't know where you're looking that's funny right because there's a joke there and then he says i can't miss you because you're fat there's a joke there but without the it doesn't matter when he just calls you fat or

you just call him fucking you know whatever you call them. Is it ever like, oh, shit. Do you ever feel like, oh, I was mean. I shouldn't have said that. No, I don't have any regret for any jokes. And I really don't roast with people I don't know. You know what I'm saying? How about that lady on the stage who fucking had the fat lady on the stage? You took one on the chin.

Well, here's the thing, man. When you come into the lion's den, you got to wrestle with lions. So you came onto this stage knowing what this show was about. So whatever happens to you happens to you. You came to no man's land. So at that point, you're subjected to whatever comes your way. Totally, totally understood. Like if she's just on the street,

she doesn't get that. No, no, I don't. I wouldn't just go in on somebody random on the street because people are crazy as hell. But I feel like, you know,

if you come on to a comedy stage, you know what the fuck going to happen. Tell me, tell me about kill Tony. It's 10 years running. I don't know. How did you find it? i'm just on it i mean a lot of comedians were talking about it in la and the crazy story about kill tony and this is why i always tell people um do what you're supposed to do if you if you're supposed to do. If you're supposed to grind, grind hard and especially do it on the days you don't want to.

On my way to become a regular, the day that I got noticed, I didn't want to be on Kill Tony. My friend was visiting from Atlanta. And he was like, because I had already got hired as a door guy at the comedy store. So I was like, and I had signed up for Kill Tony before. So I was kind of like, man, fuck Kill Tony, bro. I don't never get pulled out of that goddamn bucket. I don't want to pay for parking for three hours and sit in here and listen to all these whack ass comedians. So I was like, fuck Kill Tony. And my boy was like, come on, man.

Just go with me, man. Let's sign up for it. And I was like, all right. So went and signed up. Probably, if somebody can go find that episode, they'll see it was towards the end. Me and him were legit falling asleep in the back. And I told him i was like bro in 10 more minutes we can leave and um then they called my name and i remember like

fuck like i did not expect that to happen when i was walking towards they was like what the what joke can i do in 60 seconds and then the rest is history there was a chance you weren't even going to be called that night you could like there wasn't There was a chance you weren't even going to be called that night. You could have like, there wasn't, there's a chance you wouldn't even going to be called out of the bucket. Yeah. Yeah.

It's you get pulled out of a bucket, man. There's, there's no magic, you know, like Tony's not doing any trickery, bro. It's just a straight bucket pool,

bro. The bucket of destiny, dog. And, and do you remember what year that was? Yeah, that was, um,

yeah, it was 2019 And then That show with Bisbing Ironically was 2020 And that's when they also announced That wasn't 2020 No? Me and Michael Bisbing had our interaction Was it 2020?

No, that was 2019 That was in the fall of 2019. You and Michael? Huh? You and Michael? Yeah, I'm almost five. Oh, okay. And maybe it was just posted on YouTube in 2020.

That's why I saw that. Maybe, yeah. A lot of my clips, and I feel that's... Oh, November of 2019, I have here. Yeah. Yes. A lot of my clips during the quarantine went viral, and I kind of feel like that was good for me

because I didn't have to go back to the comedy store. A lot of my roast clips went viral. My social media presence picked up, and yeah. It's a theme. It's a theme. If you go through his videos's it's for sure a theme he's not fucking around uh uh just oh just the comments down here work ethic see someone wrote work ethic yeah hey when you were on that show with michael bisbing that was also the show where

um uh kill tony um tony basically said you hey you're now a regular on the show you're a permanent permanent what does that mean what does that exactly does that mean a regular on the show yeah that means you don't have to go in the bucket anymore yeah um you don't gotta go in the bucket no more and uh you um you basically get a guaranteed 60 seconds every Monday. And in my absence, um, I haven't been doing it. So, uh,

regular and, uh, Austin, but I'm moving to Austin full time in August. Yeah. I heard that. Is that a good sign? I heard the basis.

You didn't want to leave cause your kids are in LA, but now you're doing it. Does that mean you're taking your kids with you or? No, but, uh, I'm a fly here. Uh, I think it'll, it'll help on all fronts. but now you're doing it does that mean you're taking your kids with you or no but uh i'm gonna fly here uh i think it'll it'll help on all fronts because dude i paid so much money to uh

just be in la like six seven days a month what is so stupid so it don't really matter where my base is set up at um i'm at a point in my career now, I don't really need to be in L.A. as much. And when I need to be in L.A., I can just fly here. But I told Tony, I was like, yo, I could dedicate, you know, two Kill Tonys a month because the other two I'll be in L.A. with my kids. Hey, it's crazy, too, because the more and more i learn about you you're definitely not an la guy either like the people there every time i'm up i'm up in santa cruz right i'm north of you 300 miles it's fucked here but every time i've been to la in the last two years it's fucking it's zombie land everyone there's batshit crazy yeah they are they are triple vax triple boosted you

know that shit fucks with your brain. Quadruple scared. Yeah. Liberal. Liberal conservatives around this bitch. I was hardcore liberal. Were you hardcore liberal? Never. Seriously?

What did your parents do? I mean, my mom. I grew up in a working class family. Wasn't too close to my dad, but he was pretty successful later on in my life. But me and him were never close. So that didn't really benefit me. My parents were divorced. My mom, she held it down.

Worked two jobs. you know what i'm saying we were we did all right for in georgia if that makes sense if we would have been in california we would have been poor as a right hey in your family there's they're like on the block or something yeah so um my great on my mom's side my uh great-grandma, Zania, was a Native American, and her dad, how does that go? They called him Big Pa. Her dad was a semi-rich man during those times, so he acquired a lot of land and then she left it to all the grandkids and now the whole family just lives on that block um not the whole family but um a lot of my immediate like uncles and aunts do live on a stretch of land that's our neighborhood how do you how do you not get raised?

How do you get, not get raised liberal in Georgia? You're in John, you're in Jimmy Carter country. And as the great Joe Biden said, if you're not, if you don't vote for me, you're not black.

Like how, how did you not become, how are you not, how'd you not become liberal? I mean, my views have never been liberal, bro. Like Georgia is very conservative. Your mom didn't give you liberal views. How'd you not become liberal? I mean, my views have never been liberal, bro.

Like, George is very conservative. Your mom didn't give you liberal views? Man, my mom was a Democrat, but she has no liberal views at all. That's me, too. I'm a Democrat, and I have no liberal views. She has zero, bro. I be telling her. I be telling her all the time. I'm like, your values align with a Republican, you know?

So, yeah. It's not, I was telling someone the other day, it's not politics anymore. It's, unfortunately, it seems like the vast majority on the left have some sort of mental disorder. Man. And if 51% of your political base has a mental

disorder, it's no longer a political base. It's now a mental disorder. It's weird. It's fucked up. Yeah, bro. Being from Georgia, dog, I do not trust that Georgia was flipped. QAnon. Cons on conspiracy theorists.

I'm not really a conspiracy theorist. I don't believe it was flipped either. Even though, you know, you do, there's a lot of truth and a lot of stuff that these conspiracy people are putting out, but being from Georgia and I'm in Georgia at minimum once a month,

bro. Cause my mom lives there that, that I that I don't see it, man. I'm all around the state of Georgia. Because if I have a show in the South or on the East Coast, I'll normally fly to Atlanta and then drive my mom's car. If I do something in North Carolina, so I can check on my mom and then, or like if I'm in Florida, I'll fly to Georgia and then drive to Florida or Alabama, Tennessee, wherever. And yeah, I don't see it.

I drive through this whole state of Georgia, man. I drive through the whole state of Georgia, man. I drive through the whole state of Georgia. I just honestly don't see it. Damn, you fly a lot. Mm-hmm. Two, three times a week. That sucks, right? It beats taking a wagon across the country.

Okay. Fair, fair. How much of it for work and how much of it for family or or you can't you can't kind of partition it like that um i'd say uh i don't really fly for family um what i would do like so like i did baltimore Like I did Baltimore. I mean, I did Philly not that long ago. And so it's work family. So I didn't have to be back in L.A. for like five days. So after I left Philly, I went to Georgia and kicked it for like three days, then flew back to L.A.

How bad is Philly? You think Philly is a shithole? Hell yeah. Hell yeah, bro. They need to bring the National Guard into Philly? You think Philly's a shithole? Hell yeah. Hell yeah, bro. They need to bring the National Guard into Philly, dog. I don't know. I felt uneasy. I mean, I'm from a shitty place, but I felt uneasy.

I don't know, bro. Back when I was younger and I didn't have shit and I didn't have kids. Like I was a little more, you know, um, not paranoid, but not, I'm paranoid. Like I don't want to get robbed or anything. And, you know,

cause I got two lives that are responsible that I'm responsible for. And, uh, I take care of them. So yeah, I'm a little paranoid now and cautious as to where I go. And I pay attention to everything. They're the meanest people. Every time I go there,

it's someone's just a complete fucking asshole to me for no reason. Like at the airport or some, I just can't believe how, how mean people are there too. Nobody was mean to me. I mean, like I said, bro, I get a lot of respect. I think a lot of people are terrified of me. How tall are you? I'm 5' 11 and 350 pounds yeah i'm 5 5 and in in 150 pounds with the certain shoes on i'm 6 1 you know i mean with boots on

so um i wear a lot of boots um nobody nobody's ever an asshole to me because I mean I do look threatened I got a fucking revolver tatted on my neck I'm tatted everywhere but when I got to Philly it was so funny I went outside and this girl was like mister is you waiting for the Uber or is somebody picking you up and I said waiting on a Uber and she's like okay i'm just making sure you're in the right area but it was like hella aggressive the way she like she was helping me but it was um was she airport personnel yeah she worked for the airport man they got people

outside that um you know they have you know they delegated people to help I guess control the flow of traffic. When you did this show that Bizbing was on, at some point it was four on one. You got the ding dong with the fucking guitar

trying to crack jokes at you. You got Michael Bizbing, you got Tony jokes at you. You got Michael Bay's being, you got Tony and you got, what? And Louis J. Is it? Okay. I didn't know who the other guy was.

And it's four on one. And do you, do you ever feel sorry for yourself? Or you're like, fuck it. I'll beat all these fuckers down. No, I never feel sorry for myself,

bro. I'm, I'm, uh, I'm one person in life. Who's, uh, not scary feel sorry for myself, bro. I'm one person in life who's not scary at all. I'm not a scared individual. I'm not saying that I'm cocky, but I'm from Macon, bro. I'm from Macon, Georgia. like one of the worst cities to live in for like the past 12 years and uh that's where i'm from bro and uh it's a shitty place bro it's a lot of killing uh i was surrounded by a lot by a lot of gang shit going to school so i grew up with a certain type of heart and i also had a granddaddy who uh yeah in macon georgia do you know what we still have what at the train station downtown this is how fucked up my city is we still have a sign that says colored waiting area

wow google it google macon georgia colored waiting colored waiting room i'm going to do my next That'll be my next thing. Yeah, it's the heart of Georgia. Now someone's going to come and check my computer and I'm going to get in trouble for being racist. Macon, Georgia. Colored. Colored.

There it is. Yeah. Now click on images. Wow. Wow. now click on images wow wow wow well they can't take that sign down it's carved into the cement go

to the one right there to the right the right of that one the right of that one look how it looks all new like there's no way that's the right of this one the right of that one the right yeah click it look how it looks all new like there's no way that's the same color weight no sign and look they got fresh caulking on it too that's what i'm saying bro on the side there imagine if they make a black person like have to pressure wash that sign like hey man gonna make that sign look new. Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness. I see somebody saying Jason Aldean is from Macon. Yes, he is from

Macon. Jason Aldean is from Macon. Lil Richard is from Macon. Otis Redding is from Macon. All my brothers are from Macon. Me and Jason Aldean actually went to the same high school just at different times he's probably like i don't even know who that is oh he's one of the biggest country singers bro are you country music guy oh yeah yeah i recognize him yeah i like

country music i don't listen to country music i don't really listen to any music you know what i i'm stuck in the eight i'm stuck like in the 80s and 90s. I grew up with Tupac and N.W.A. I was about to say that Big Hair. What do they call that? Big Hair Rock? And Sir Mix-A-Lot. I'm kind of stuck in Sir Mix-A-Lot. That's what I make my kids listen to my

posses on Broadway. My posses on Broadway. Somebody said they lived in Albany. Albany? Hell yeah. Albany georgia great agriculture town hella farms down in albany you you you had a girlfriend you might still have a girlfriend she might be your wife fuck i don't know but she told you that hey i'm gonna take care of you i'm gonna foot the bills but i but i want i want you to do content every day or five days a week can you tell me that story i love that story yeah so um that was my uh youngest daughter's mom uh that was in

because i had i had uh took a break from comedy to get a job um when uh my oldest daughter was born what year was that oh it's 2022 now so my my oldest was born in 2014 okay wow and um i got a real job she was born november 2014 and i got a real job in 2015 working at a fucking warehouse, bro. That shit was horrible. Like an Amazon warehouse? No, it was a grocery store warehouse for Vallarta. Okay.

How old are you? How old are you? 31. Oh my God, you're so young. Holy shit. Holy shit. I got a real job for like three years. When you busted that nut nut did you know she was

pregnant no oh okay no okay sorry go ahead i got a um real job for like three four years and my youngest daughter's mom we were together at the time and she saw that i was miserable and um it was 2019 it was 2018 coming up on 2019. And because I wasn't doing comedy that much, I was tired all the time because I worked like midnight to like 10 a.m. It was a horrible shift. And you literally just sleep all day. You don't you don't want to do shit. And then like you go to bed to 10.

You know, you get off at 10. You get home by 11. You get something to eat. Now it's 1230. You watch a little TV. That at 2 a.m. You know, you get off at 10. You get home by 11. You get something to eat. Now it's 1230. You watch a little TV. That's 1 p.m. And you got to be back to work that night. So I'd go to bed like 1 p.m. Sleep to like 7, 8.

And it's like, fuck, I can't go do time. I got to go to work in a few, man. I don't feel like doing shit. So, yeah, I would do that. And then coming up on, um, 2019, she saw that I was miserable and she was like, and she, she had a good job. She's an RN. She's a nurse practitioner now. And she was like, uh, I'll tell you what, I'm going to support you for one year, but you have to do it every day, like five days a week. So I'm like, okay. Okay. So I was like, bet. I was like, this is my one

fucking shot. I better not fuck this up. Uh, let's go. Um, so I was, uh, you know So I was, you know, I was determined to get in at the comedy store. So I was going to the comedy store maybe three or four days a week. That's in LA? That's a joint in LA? Yeah, the comedy store. And then I was going to the comedy store

like three or four days a week. And then I was doing other spots. What do you mean you were going there three or four days a week? Like to do what? Hang out, get people to know me um network you know explain that to me so the comedy spot is it a theater it's a comedy club it's a comedy club i've never been in a comedy club oh it's the it's the

mecca of comedy bro like that's where richard pryor uh jj Walker, you know, all those big names, Sam Kenison, Robin Williams, all those guys. And it's basically a room with a bunch of little tables in it and there's in a small stage and you would go there and just sit at one of the tables?

There's three rooms. There's the main, the original, and the belly. And no, I wouldn't go to the shows. You just hang out with the door guys, get to know the management, you know, buy drinks, tip well so that people know you, treat everybody nice, show everybody that you're funny in conversations, and then the opportunity will come. And then I remember there was a day I didn't want to go.

I was like, I'm not going to the comedy store. And I told her that I was like, I've been going for like 10 weeks straight and they have not put me up. And she was like, So you would talk to the manager when you were there and be like, by then he's no, he's like, Hey, Hey Mike, like what, when you got a free 50, when are you going to give me 15 minutes on the stage to cut it up? No, you get three minutes.

No, it's not really like talking to the manager to get them up, but getting to know people to get on potluck so that you can get on family and friends. It's a process. I told her, and I remember I didn't think the talent coordinator liked me. I remember I didn't think the talent coordinator liked me. And I remember there was a Monday I didn't want to go. I told her I'm not going. I was like, man, I've been going to this shit three, four months straight. I haven't got on fucking potluck.

I'm not going. And she was like, well, I tell you this. If you're home when I get off, just have your packing i'm like oh fuck is that for real that was for real bro so uh i got my ass up and i went and uh that was the day i got put on family and friends and i became a door guy i got offered the job as a door guy and family and friends is what that's a that's a tv show or no family and friends is um so from on monday from seven to eight is potluck for an opportunity to get on family and friends and then from eight till i believe like 9 30 is family and friends where the door guys and you know people who are in development go up no shit okay, okay. I was tripping earlier in the show

when you were like, well, I was a door guy at the comedy club. So there's a whole pecking order there. It's a fucking like, even the door guy is trying to get a piece. Like Rogan said, being a door guy at the comedy store is like the Navy Seals of comedy, bro. You get, yeah, it's legit.

It's legit. Wow. And they all did it? So probably Richard Pryor was a door guy and Robin Williams was a door guy they were all probably door guys no I don't think they were door guys but I know Rogan was a door guy who else was a door guy there was a few other big names that were door guys

and then and then at the same time when it rains it pours the Kill Tony shit started coming along yes and this is 2019 that's 2019 end of 2019 so has it been two years of just every day

is exciting for you now like just shit opening every day I wouldn't say everything is exciting not everything but I mean every day like you have so many irons in the oven that shit's growing every day shit's coming out every day

live shows YouTube podcast Kill Tony Joe Rogan yeah man you know I mean you're minding your own fucking business Joe Rogan. Yeah, man. You know, it's a, I mean, you're minding your own fucking business.

Joe Rogan's like fucking calling you out on his podcast to offer you a hundred grand to do a weight loss competition. Yeah. That's my dog, man. I'm glad he did it, man. He sparked something in me that I believe would definitely be a,

a lifelong change. You know what I'm saying? Um, so, uh, you know, answering that text message so uh do you help answering that text message i'm good at that if you want to tell me i'm sorry one second no he said you will go no social media shit bro uh david when you so you're tell me about how that came across your plate were you just minding

your own business you're at home working on a on a minute and someone's like dude have you seen what rogan said about you and then you go over and check it out that's it that's pretty much it i think i was i think that dropped on a i'll tell you when it dropped right now let me look it was if you guys don't know what we're talking about, you can go over to YouTube, type in David Lucas, and you will see a video. Oh, maybe I even have it here, a link to it. God, it would be nice to find someone working the back end today.

And basically, it's a video. And fuck it, I'll play it for you. I think I was in Philly, bro. I think I was on a plane to Philly or in Philly. That's funny. When I type in David Lucas, some little kid pops up with like four subscribers. Hello. Yeah, I think I was on a plane to Philly.

Because me and Rogan had just talked about it uh he was like he was like uh you you need to lose weight and i was like you were just standing next to him somewhere like in person we were in the green room we were doing a show together okay burt was with us and he was like dude i fucking had that dude ripped he was talking about burt he said he got burt ripped and he's like david you need to lose weight you need a competition like you need a serious competition and uh then like two days later i heard on the podcast and i was like oh this shit is legit and uh and have you talked about him since then?

Who? Have you talked about it with Joe since then? Me and him speak like once or twice a week, and I told him, you know, I told him all my shit. And what's the day of the weigh-in? September something, like September 19th. And what exactly is the contest? Who loses the most weight? I guess.

He said 60 pounds, but it's like, yeah. Does Redman have 60 pounds to lose? Yeah. He does? He's a big dude? Redman's a little chunky, bro. Is he as big as you? No.

I'd say he's probably about 270 280 i know this uh i i have this sponsor i don't know if you can see on the screen california hormones you see it down there it says ca hormones and i could send a uh i could send they send a uh what do they call a phlebotomist someone who takes your blood over to your house they come over your to your house tomorrow, take your blood. A couple days later, you get an appointment with a doctor. They read your blood. They tell you, like, hey, this, this, this, and this. And if your T count is low, they'll give you a prescription for testosterone. I'll ask them to pay for it all for a year.

No, I got that. Oh, okay. All right, fine. Come on, man. I'm friends with rogan though i got just trying to help my sponsor out just trying to help my sponsor out no but uh if you should y'all should check that out testosterone is amazing is it amazing look at these orbs um how how many how many pounds have you lost already uh like 15

and and are you training yeah how many days a week i got nutritionist uh i train um uh on an ideal week six times but most times it's 45 damn just because i'm a i'm a dad and your personal trainer yeah and which gym do you go to equinox wow in uh in in la right now yeah it's fucking awesome is that place full of famous people i don't probably uh i guess maybe at the Beverly Hills location but you keep your hoodie on eyes focused on the prize you're not looking at anyone

a lot of people do come there to socialize but I go so I know the hours to go I'm going to go probably at 2-3 there's not going to be a big crowd people come early in the morning I say like 7 to 10 is crazy, and then like 5 to 8.

David Lucas, he's the man. I watch him. I think that's... I watch him on Roast Me All Deaf Comedy. When did you do that? So, dog, I've been doing that for a minute since like 2015. Do you like that?

Is that your preferred type of comedy? It's alright. It's a lot of pressure, right? Yeah. Everything's a lot of pressure. Are you gonna fold? Are you... Do you know where it comes from? Or as it comes out of your mouth,

are you hearing it for the first time? Yeah, bro. I just be saying shit. But I say it with confidence. confidence of course you sure fucking do so when you tell a joke up there and you're on kill tony and it's going back and forth to roast you're hearing it in real time like the rest of us yeah it's uh i don't know bro like when i see somebody if'm in roast mode, like a whole bunch of stuff just pop in my head. And honestly, you really don't know if it's going to be good until you say it. Right.

Right. Right. But that's the thing about your confidence too. Even when you say stuff that doesn't work, it doesn't matter. You just laugh and go on to the next thing. Yup. Exactly,

bro. You just, I shoot for volume. Do you have to go to the bathroom you're getting fidgety no i just have add hey adhd nicotine is so damn powerful crazy powerful um do you um do you have an exit strategy? Nope. Do you want one? You're trying to hit me. We're probably sponsored by the same people.

No, no, no, no. I don't do that. I used to smoke as a young man in my late 20s and 30s. I started doing CrossFit. I quit smoking. And then since then, I fucked with the Jewel once or twice um not not for a long time but that shit was gnarly that was the craziest nicotine rush and and uh and then those impact someone i would fuck with those zins do you know what those are those chews yeah those were the hardest thing i've ever had to quit and i only

did them for a minute i I never thought I could, I couldn't even imagine a life without nicotine when I'm, when I was doing nicotine. I like it. I loved it. I'll quit when the doctor says that. Did you take that thing on stage? Absolutely.

Did you do that before Chappelle did it? I was always, I was shocked when i would see him smoking the vape on stage i've been doing it bro yeah yeah do a bunch of dudes do it i don't know i don't really pay attention to people i bro for a comedian i don't watch a lot of comedy on purpose that's just not my thing yeah i'm a podcaster i don't watch other podcasts yeah i um i watch a lot of youtube bro like give me an example you let the algorithm choose for you no i watch this show called infographics the infographic show i like that show a lot what is

that uh it's just where They got hella videos. They talk about everything, bro. You should watch it. You should check it out. You know who the owner is? Nope. Oh, shit. They got 12 million subscribers. Yeah, it's a great show. I was trapped underwater for three days.

Oh, with the black dude. Yeah, that's a good one. Oh my goodness. This does look like an incredible station. Yeah. This looks like an incredible station. Yeah. Hitler, too.

Mm hmm. Yeah, bro. They got some good stuff. The United States versus Russia. And they release videos like every day. I know they make buku money. They probably bring it in half a million dollars

a year on YouTube. I don't have a video that has reached a million views yet and I still make decent money on YouTube. I just met this guy at a party the other night and he's like, yeah, I make okay money

from YouTube. And he goes, I make most of my money from sponsorship. I was like, oh yeah? And I go, how much do you make from YouTube? He said $100,000 a month. What? Yeah. He's got 3 million subscribers. He makes nutrition videos. Crazy, right? He said said i make okay but yeah yeah

i can't wait till i'm bringing in a hundred thousand from youtube did you see do you know who justin nunley is he's he's a buddy of mine they just released an article in the sun i knew this but i just didn't want to say anything uh because it was his private business but i think he did an interview let me see this he makes just 16 he just makes 16 second reels and he puts them on uh and he puts them on facebook yeah i'm about to uh start putting stuff on facebook and look at this this is gonna your mind. And he just does it all on his phone. Look at this. Justin Nunley earns $40,000 a month posting funny videos on TikTok.

Wow. He makes one 16-second video a day. He's funny as shit. Send me that article. I want to read that. Perfect. Funny is to read that. Perfect. Funny is subjective though. Uh,

yeah, I hear you. Okay. I hear you. It is. I mean, I hear you. I hear you.

I hear you. Yeah. Um, yeah. I wonder what, I hear you. Yeah. Um, yeah. I wonder what, what is the definition of funny? It clearly is subjective. I agree with you. 100%.

I was just thinking like, could you pick five pieces of comedy and show them and everyone in the world? You could, you could make sure that everyone in the world, uh, not at all. No, not at all.

No? Not at all. I don't believe. I think, well, here's what I would say. Because then in its aggregate, maybe it wouldn't be, but maybe I'm just splitting words. Funny, causing laughter or amusement or humorous. Difficult to explain or understand. Yeah. A lot of comedians are the second one.

The second definition. A lot of comedians are the second one, the second definition. A lot of comedians are the second definition. Difficult to understand, strange. I had a funny feeling about it. That's the kind of funny y'all are. It ain't the first one. Is being a comedian? Go ahead.

Go ahead. Yeah, go. No, but what I was about to say. Subjective, funny. go ahead go ahead yep go no but what i was about to say um um subjective funny yeah it's subjective but i can watch a comedian and say this guy is funny i just don't like that type of comedy right right you know what i'm saying like i can be those are good jokes just not for me hey as a as a young man, I would watch Eddie Murphy and I thought he was the funniest fucking man alive. Now when I go back and watch some of it, it's not. I'm like, wow, I can't believe I thought this was so funny. We change too, right?

Our tastes change. Now I'm a huge fan of Tosh. Pointer? Yeah, Tosh. Pointer? Yeah, Tosh Pointer, yeah. He's got kind of his roasting style. I like roasters. Oh, okay. Yeah, so you're a big fan of Tony?

I don't know Tony at all. The only, I don't know Tony at all. I've never seen any of Tony's work. All the Kill Tony clips I've ever seen are either, I've probably seen like, I don't know, 20 in tenor of Hans and tenor of you. Oh, gotcha. Like, I don't know that show.

Is that like the biggest live show in YouTube right now? That's what they say. Hey, hold on one second. Can you mute it? I'm getting a phone call. Do I have to? Yeah. All right, fine.

Guess tell me to mute it. Can you hear me and I just can't hear you? I muted you. But I still have to talk so that people don't log off. I hope I'm not disrupting your call. He's muted. No, I don't even think he can hear us. iPhone 13.

It doesn't look, it looks like the pro model, not the max. Mr. David Lucas. And he's. God damn it. Hello. Hello. I know you're good. No, you're not good.

Don't fucking do that again. All right, bro, for sure. Cockroach. Fucking cockroach. Cockroach. Yeah. Yeah, man. No, why? Is that whole show about roasting people

Is that the whole thing No but Tony's one of the best roasters In my opinion Oh wow I didn't know that about him He doesn't want none of you though We both go back and forth with each other You were born and raised in Macon Georgiaorgia you said you said it was hard um

uh not hard like hard for you but just like hard like as in the urban dictionary hard gangster but uh but but you were also in the theater there as a kid yeah yeah i did theater there your mom make you do that no my mom wanted nothing to do with my extracurricular activities when it came to entertainment. She didn't believe in that shit, bro. She just now, I've been doing this shit for since I was 17, 31, 14 years. And she's just now coming around. I was like, bitch, I help pay your bills. Of course, just now coming around I was like bitch I'll pay your bills of course you're coming around now

did you do it then to meet girls? why'd you get in the theater? because I wanted to be expressive and I really enjoyed it it wasn't to meet girls? no I ain't never been pussy driven really?

never ever to meet girls? No, I ain't never been pussy driven. Really? Never. Why is that? Do you have to block that on purpose? I don't do drugs. I drink a little bit. And I just don't like to have

anything that controls me. You know what I'm saying? I don't like to have anything that controls me. You know what I'm saying? I don't want it. Oh, so you have that. So that vape pen is, oh, it's only me. I'm the only one that was pussy driven. Well, thank you.

So that relationship with that vape pen, that's the only thing. Yeah. And your kids but you're happy to be driven by that yeah but I'm not pussy driven at all yeah that's amazing is that true or you just tell yourself that

no it's true it's very true I don't know yeah I don't fuck with none of that bro You know who else basically told me that Well a few people But who I had on the show Who lives in Austin Nicky Rod

Do you know who that is from the B team Do you know who the B team is In Austin No It's a Jiu Jitsu academy and there's a guy down there i named nikki rodriguez he's he's he's he's all the he's all he's he's the man and i had him on the show and i and he was like no i'm not pussy driven at all basically he didn't want it like that and who else did i have on who told me that hmm that's uh i wonder if elon's pussy driven hell yeah how many how many kids he got

you know elon musk he got he got a ton of kids i think four is it and three baby mamas look it up bro look it up how many kids does elon have how many kids does you want i mean uh i mean not compared to like bob oh shit how many kids does elon have it says eight yeah elon out here bro okay so yeah so he doesn't do you do you use contraception interception? I don't know. I don't know. You plead the fifth? Yeah, I plead the motherfucking fifth. Oh, yeah. Wow. In this article, it says he has seven. I had no idea how many kids do you think Bob Marley has a lot how many let's guess oh not as many as I thought

I thought it was going to be like 20 it's 12 oh yeah that's not too bad that's not too bad at all no Ziggygy Damien Rohan Stefan dude he just had a shitload of boys

the first seven on here six of them are boys only one is a girl you have to stretch and train the comedy brain you must create every single day I don't agree with that okay I thought it's a david lucas quote but i'll have a talk with him uh did you say that by the way i think you said something like that to hans

it could be taken out of context in the lake merit interview i probably did but um okay yeah i take But okay, yeah, I take that back. You should be creative every day. Regardless, you should be stretching. I run a joke to myself every day. Every day. What's that look like? Just in my head. Is it an accident or it's conscious? You're like, I'm going to go to Starbucks, I'm going to sit in this chair,

and I'm going to fucking tell three jokes about the next person who walks in go i'll do that i'll people watch and make jokes in my head analyze uh watch shows on youtube and roasted people or i'll just come up with a bit in my head every day uh george there was uh i named dave castro the dave castro many many years ago tdc i it just as a joke and it stuck there's a great story behind that nandy stump and the whole thing and so the joke was someone came up with the idea i have the ceo shirt since dave was on the outside and they fired him so we just put a t in front of it for the dave castro ceo it's just it's just a joke just playing words sorry david some some humor from the podcast okay

uh you're doing daily news stories now yeah i tried to do a story a day or something like that yes and you did pelosi i had no idea about that oh about, about her husband? Yeah. Yeah, I did do something like that. What was it? Her husband was drunk driving. He got arrested for drunk driving. Oh, yeah, I did that. I did that, bro. How you get a blue check? I want a blue check. On

Instagram? Yeah. You just have to fuck the right person, you know. Alright, send me one. I just want y'all to know he not paying me for this podcast, send me one. I just want y'all to know he's not paying me for this podcast, y'all. Make sure y'all unsubscribe from his fucking channel. From mine?

Take all his... Unsubscribe from him and come over to me. It's now 12.30 and David Lucas has woken up and realized he's on the 7 On Podcast and he's getting agitated. He's fucking agitated. You did a story on Jada Smith.

She's just fucking crazy. You did a story on Johnny Depp. How do you choose your story? Is that the work? Basically, there's a theme here. You're saying do comedy every single day. You're starting to put out these videos every single day. And you had your baby mama say, hey.

We're not together anymore though okay so you had i'm good now i helped take care of her are you single oh who's watching all right and um you can't ask questions like that i'm a pimp bro the theme the theme the theme is is just hard work. It's grind. It's get to fucking work. Yeah. I'd say the key to success is when preparation meets opportunity. Because, I mean, you can do the hard work and be in Kalamazoo, Missouri, but if you ain't nowhere where somebody can see you, then what the fuck are you really doing? If you go perform in front of a town of 500 every day, what does that do for your career?

You need to, I mean, you know, social media has made it a little easier. You know, YouTube and stuff. You don't have to be in la and new york anymore um you can what i suggest to people before they come to la or new york now is um stay where you at and build your social media presence because uh la is hard bro it's a doggy dog world bro uh it is it's hard out this month I can't even lie to you. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me how hard it is. What's hard about it? People are cold.

People are... You know what I notice the most thing about people in LA? They're liars. Yeah, they're liars. Yeah. They're liars like hell. People be lying like hell for no reason, bro. That's why... Yeah, for no reason. That's why it's hard for me to hang around LA people, though. And that's why I'm so glad I'm moving to Texas. I just got to get away from this fake stuff.

You think you know what fake is until you start hanging out and meeting with people from LA. They are just straight up liars. Like, they will work at McDonald's and they'll tell you that they are the founder of fucking McDonald's. It's not even a joke. Everybody here looks rich, so don't try to figure it out when you come. These motherfuckers be having on Gucci and driving S-series Mercedes, 7-series BMWs and don't have nowhere to lay their head. They'll sleep on the air mattress. I've never understood that how someone wants to be comfortable in a car but not comfortable at their apartment. I'm the reverse.

I'll take a mediocre car for a nice place. I'll take a shithole car for a nice place. Come on, man. I need that room. I need, you know. Oh, you do? Yeah, yeah. Hey, are you so big that when you get in the car, you have to put the seat all the way back and recline it all the way back? Oh, you trying to roast, huh? No, no, no, no, no.

But if you want to say some funny shit about my nose, it could turn into a reel that goes viral. What is it? Let me see that nose. That nose do look like it come off with them glasses. That's the favorite comment in the comments, too. Yeah. That boy got an incognito nose. You put that nose on before you rob a bank.

It's fucking Humpty Humps nose. Digital underground. You look like Tony Perkins from that movie Heavyweights. I don't even know that let me see this motherfucker oh tony perkins heavy weights oh is that uh oh that's what's this is that ben stiller yeah how about did you see that clip of ben stiller talking uh the tennis player talking shit to ben

stiller nah but you can do it you can do an elbow drop with your nose my name is humpty i'm really funny looking stare glare constantly try to compare me. What are you driving? Right now? Yeah. Currently? Yeah. I'm not driving anything. I'm on a podcast with you.

You know what I mean. If I went back to your driveway, what do you drive? Do you own a car? Yeah. Got a little Tesla. Oh, shit.

Really? You're not good with your money? I thought you were trying to say... Oh, my goodness. I got the base model, bro. Right, right, right. How is that not... I don't know. It just doesn't sound... You tried to play it off like you were in a Civic,

but you had... That's a modest car, bro. It's a $30,000 car. Really? Is it? I mean, if you would have bought it when I bought it oh right okay yeah all right uh tell me about your is that lake merit where you went fishing with hans no that's uh i don't know yeah you kept saying lake merit i don't know what the fuck that is that's in oakland yeah thank you welcome to austin thank you thank you i can't wait um that was a mueller lake mueller mueller park in austin and i love to fish

yeah that was crazy you were catching bass catching bass in there and how many in and uh you don't even live there and you had four fishing pools there. Oh, bro. I got, so my big brother lives in Austin. So God, who me and him became,

he's actually my chiropractor, but me and him became very close. His name is John. Hi, gravely gravely. He owns a chiropractor studio in austin called two hands so if you're in austin and you need to get your back fixed uh go over to two hands chiropractic that's what the girls in college used to call me that was my nickname two hands

because you needed two hands to jack me off but anyway go on but yeah go over there go over to two hands chiropractic ask for dr j and tell him uh david lucas sent you and you'll get a nice little discount but yeah he's my uh he's my big brother uh we me and him got very close uh you know and uh he lets me crash at his spot when i'm in austin and he offered me to stay with him, but I just want my own place. I like to be in my own space, though. Hey, hey, hey. Let's be nice to him.

He's a guest. This guy Chris from Criss Cross. Be cool, man. Be cool. Bro, come on. You think I'm worried about words? No, I was just trying to pretend like I was trying to, I wanted to read it, but I wanted to pretend like I cared.

So do you have like 20 fishing poles stored at his house? Is that where that was going? Probably about 12. And then I got probably another 12 in Georgia. And then I got like 10 here in LA. And where do you get your fishing poles? Where do you go? Bass Pro, sometimes Walmart.

If Walmart got it, you can get a good combo from Walmart. Just change the line out. What does that mean, a combo? Reel and ride. Dude, that is awesome. And why 12? Because you enjoy buying them or there's nuances to them all? So, yeah, I do have I got my bass rigs and I got my heavy duty rigs, like if I'm fishing for, you know, bigger striper.

So with my bass, I use between like six to seven feet rods, bait casters, spinning. And then like for bigger fish like striper you know i might have like an eight foot thicker pole that holds bigger line and then i got like my pan fish poles that are smaller that whole lighter line then i got like my crappy rigs this guy said that they called me two hands in college because it took two hands to cover my nose when i sneeze. Not two hands, but two hands. Oh, Brandon, you are always an asshole in the comments.

Craig White, I've never fished for sturgeon, but I would. I actually, when I get more wealthier, I want to own a sturgeon lake and sell caviar. Is that where caviar comes from, fromgeon sturgeon eggs yeah i had no idea i was hoping that was in oakland and i could ask you to teach

my boys to to fish i don't do any man shit so i need other men around me like to teach my boys man i'm uh i'm in san fran next week bro are you gonna going to go fishing? No, I'm at Cobb's. I mean, we can go fishing if you want. I'd love to. That would be crazy. I'll even buy fishing poles. Have I gone open water fishing? What is open water?

All water that I fish on is open. Like, what do you? I think it means just like getting a boat off of the coast of L.A. and just start heading west. Oh, like deep sea fishing? Yeah, I do that. I deep sea a lot. I prefer lake or river

fishing. I don't know why. You wrestled in high school? Yeah. And that's hard shit. Yeah. I played football too. And you went to all the practices for wrestling? Were you a good runner? Did you run a all the practices for wrestling? Mm-hmm.

And were you a good runner? Did you run a lot? Yeah, back when I was smaller. But, I mean, I wrestled in the heavyweight category, so we didn't have to, you know, have the – you can't run too much or you'll lose your strength. So it was more so like we do do stairs like bleacher stairs you think that this you think that discipline taught you a lot wrestling in high school oh jesus bro what was that man his name

was coach uh coach uh johnson coach johnson bro uh back home at rutland high school and i remember my first day at wrestling practice we ran so fucking much well not just ran we did so much like exercise i was throwing up man i was it was it was hard it was legit hard and you remember it to this day hell yeah you rationed freshman year sophomore junior and senior It was legit hard. And you remember it to this day? Hell yeah. You wrestled freshman year, sophomore, junior, and senior? I wrestled, let's see, I wrestled eighth, my eighth grade year. I wrestled against high schoolers in eighth grade. That's how they knew I was good.

And then I was getting into a lot of trouble my freshman year and i quit all sports to be a gang member so stupid um and then my 10th grade year i got back into sports my my ninth grade year i was mentally lost and what happened why just you just watched some tv shows and you're like yeah i want to do that shit i want to deal some i think it's like no i i think in um that transition from middle school to high school is a big transition and i think for me in order to fit in i just started hanging around the wrong people and when you hang around those people you know they they get you to skip school and do all other type of crazy shit and you just kind of don't care

because you know instead of going to practice i'm hanging with them you know um you know because that's what they were doing after school like you know the athletes would go play sports after school but these guys would go hang out and we steal from stores and then return the merchandise and get the cash? No, we were still in stupid shit, bro. Drinks and candy. Right. When did you get the tattoo on your neck? Not that

long ago. And how come? Just wanted it. You were just sitting there one day and you're like, fuck it, I'm getting a gun tattoo on my neck. How come? Just wanted it. You're just sitting there one day and you're like, fuck it, I'm getting a gun tattoo on my neck. Got to think. So.

You were hanging with Rick Ross and you're like, fuck. No, I was. I was. Was I doing any drugs Jeff back then yeah I was smoking a little weed smoking cigarettes like a badass kid you quit weed right you quit weed me too I I was in Vegas and this guy came to my show.

This is in February, I think. He came to the – or January. He came to the show. He was a real big fan. He was like, dude, I got a tattoo studio. He was like, what do you want? I said, I really want a revolver tied on the side of my neck. He said, for real? I said, I really want a revolver tied on the side of my neck.

And he said, for real? I said, hell yeah. He said, all right. Came in and he did it. That was that? Mm-hmm. Has your mom seen it? Of course.

You in trouble? No. A little bit? She better sit down somewhere Not even a little bit of trouble? Not at all, no When you went to college Did you keep wrestling? No, I went for football

No shit, you played football at Alabama? I never played, I went for football. No shit. You played football at Alabama? Uh, I never played, but I went. But you went, but you went there for it. Did you practice with them? Yeah. I had a lot of, uh, behavioral issues, bro. Do you still? No, I'm a totally different human than I was back then, man. Uh, I was, I don't know what was wrong with me, dog, but moving

to LA probably saved my life. Tell me, tell me about behavioral issues. What does that look like? Just completely non-compliant, just won't do what the coach says. Yeah. I didn't want to listen to authority. Uh, I thought I was better than everybody when, you know, in reality, that's not true. Didn't want to work hard. Probably, I was, you know, a typical rebellious teenage boy without a strong father presence in the house. I found football as an escape away my I was living with my grandfather uh and he was abusive you know physically and emotionally so uh it was just an escape and a way to get away and um I just think I had a lot of anger I think I had a lot of misdirected anger uh from him that I projected onto other people was your mom's dad or your dad's dad?

My mom's dad. My dad is actually Cuban, so his parents died when I was like three or four. So you're Cuban, Native American, and obviously something from Africa. Well, I mean, my dad's roots come from west africa so i mean most cuban most black cubans are from africa there we go wow so so um did you live with your grandma and grandpa growing up they raised you yeah my mom my mom worked a lot so um and my grandma had a stroke and an aneurysm so she was kind of like needed assistance all the time

so I moved in with my grandparents which was good because I was able to go to a better school because they stayed in a better area except granddad was a dick yeah man yeah he was is he dead yeah he's deceased now.

Is grandma deceased too? Huh? Is grandma deceased too? Yeah, grandma deceased. Wow. So they raised you and then and then and then and then you were just pissed what does that mean you think you're better than everyone else uh i don't know i don't know

hold on a second sorry it's business yeah business business business what native american tribe is he from i don't know i can't get him to answer he's really into his own i'm really happy he came on the show though what native american tribe is uh my grandma from i don't know probably cherokee or some shit bro the chukawa the chukawa pa you stupid the paw but what is what did you what was the question you asked what does what look like oh what does it look like to think you're better than everyone else like when you said that i was like do i think i'm better than everyone else and i'm like like what's that look like to think well i mean it's it's different um i mean uh if you think I mean, of course, we we're all narcissistic, especially people that do any type of podcasting or comedy.

We're all narcissistic and we think we're better than the next person. But also, you should have a level of humility. And I didn't have a level of humility. And I would just always say. I would say I would always let it be known and that was that's not good I have a clip here it says drinking semen it's a video clip

for some reason I thought it would be funny to show you this I don't want to see that me neither don't play it that might just be it's not what you think see that. Me neither. Don't play it. That might just be, oh, no, no, no. It's not what you think. It's not what you think.

Here we go. Hey, I think this could be a subject for one of your videos. Do you know that? Oh, wait, shit. Sorry. Have you seen this clip? I don't. What is that? It's Kim Kardashian

getting advice on how to become more fertile. He told us to... To both of you? Well, he told me that the thing that would help my mom calling me. My mom calling me. Sorry.

My mom called me. Sorry. Hey, mom. Give me a second, okay? Okay. All right. Oh, my goodness gracious. I muted you.

You're muted. All of you. The 6,000 of you watching. Hold on. Okay. Hello. Sorry, man. Me and my mama have a business together. I hear you.

What's your business? Real estate. Oh, I thought it was going to be fishing lures. Okay, here we go. I'm saying his like four times a week. Okay, listen, here we go. He told us. Her doctor told her.

To both of you? Well, he told me that the thing that would help it was drinking his like four times a week he told us the doctor told her if she wants to get more fertile she has to start chugging that dude with all the tats on his head semen four times a week yeah that's insane i don't think that works. But that's a good doctor. That doesn't mean it's a bad doctor. Yeah.

Mr. Lucas, I really appreciate you being on. Thank you, bro. And just I'll send the invoice to your email. Thank you. Thank you. It's still it's thirty two thousand dollars. Is that my podcast appearances for hours, 1500. Oh, only 1500. Awesome. Great. I thought it was $32,000. Oh, thank God.

I hopefully, sorry, man. I got bad ADHD, bro. I cannot be still for a long time. I love you. Yeah. I fucking, and i didn't want to take an ativan because then i would have just been a zombie right here it is a race to the fucking top mr david lucas and i will see you fucking there my dog my dog and we're out