The Sevan Podcast - #452 CA Hormones Journals | Paul Samson Ep. 1

Episode Date: June 14, 2022

Episode #1 with Paul Samson. Paul has a fascinating story from drug abuse and dealing to jail time to spending 30 days in a coma. Now clean, he has helped many into recovery from substance abuse. He is someone we are following for the next year as they embark on their TRT journey thanks to our partners at California Hormones. Sign up for our email: https://thesevanpodcast.com/ ------------------------- Partners: https://cahormones.com/ - CODE "SEVAN" FOR FREE CONSULTATION https://www.paperstcoffee.com/ - THE COFFEE I DRINK! https://www.hybridathletics.com/produ... - THE BARBELL BRUSH https://asrx.com/collections/the-real... - OUR TSHIRTS https://www.vndk8.com/sevan-podcast - OUR OTHER SHIRT https://usekilo.com - OUR WEBSITE PROVIDER ------------------------- Support the show Partners: https://cahormones.com/ - CODE "SEVAN" FOR FREE CONSULTATION https://www.paperstcoffee.com/ - THE COFFEE I DRINK! https://asrx.com/collections/the-real... - OUR TSHIRTS ... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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I'm glad this is... Oh, you muted yourself because of the jets? It's okay. Fuck it. Do some jets. Do some jets. Let me see if i can find paul here um okay uh four minutes guys i want to show you guys something really quick i want to

show you two things real quick uh that um are important i think that i share with you one of them is a post i did a couple days ago and it showed a baby in some sort of plastic covering over its face. I'm guessing it's some sort of bag that's used in rain or something for kids, or who knows? Maybe it was designed for COVID. I have no idea. But someone in those comments writes, I'm not sure where it is, but says something about, hey, I can't believe the racism here. And this is an awesome example because I, I use this a lot. I say to P I talk to a lot of people who are in their head all the time. So I say something, then they interpret it in their head and then they respond to what's in their head.

So now they're having a conversation with themselves. You understand what I'm saying? And I'm going to show you a perfect example. Someone said, basically here, I can't believe the racism or something like that And that means they interpreted what i'm showing as racist. I have no idea what they're talking about zero zero Um, and then they responded to it and now they're just having a conversation with themselves That's how most people are now. It's okay. And that's why you'll get a lot. If some of you who DM me, I'll be like, Hey man, you're talking to yourself

because you're not, you haven't even heard what I said, or you've made up what you think I said. And now you're responding to that. And once you do that, um, I'm not sure if I want to unfuck you, like walk you backwards out of your head. Like if you were my wife, I would, or I would expect my wife to do it for me. Or sometimes I would do it for, uh, you know, someone I love. But, but if you, if you make presuppositions, then you're stuck in an echo chamber in your head. Most people are just stuck there always when I'm stuck there. If someone points it out to me, I can pop out of it super quick. I'm awake. Found it. The man, the man in one is wearing a front baby carrier you can see the straps on the back shoulders front baby carriers do have a plastic rain flap cover very disappointed in

the racism implied in respondents so if if they're if they don't oh wait let me see what's the one below that say don't know you know anything against let me see. What's the one below that say? Don't know, you know, anything against the woke mob is racist, right? Well, that's the thing. And that is the problem with the woke mob. They're in their head. So if you are offended by something, like when I get offended by something, I'm in my head. It's all about me now. It's just all narcissism. There's nothing that should offend me. Nothing. Nothing. Or else that is me that I'm holding onto. That's ego. Only ego can be offended and it's cool. I do get offended. I do have some ego, but you got to work through it. You got to work through it. I would never blame. I try. I don't blame other people when I'm offended.

Okay. The second thing I want to show you is this. And I got in trouble with my wife about this. This is a post that shows my kids. I thought about this today when I was at the beach and I thought, wow, if I view my kids as sacred and what do I mean by sacred? I mean the closest thing to what God is on the planet, just purity, light come down. What would I show them? What would I, how would I treat God? If God was on the planet, what would I share with God? And it's purest form right when it got here. And I said, I wouldn't share video games, drunk food, or transvestite reading hour at the library. And my wife says to me, Hey, what the fuck's wrong with transvestites? People are going to, I know, I know you don't have a problem with transvestites because my wife knows. And we just had a tranny

over here, you know, watching fight night a while back. I love a tranny. I love everybody. She's all, but it makes it look like you don't like transvestites. No, no. I love video games. I love drunk food. I love transvestites. Let me tell you who else I don't want reading to my kid at the library. I don't want a fucking hell's angel. I don't want a meth addict. I don't want ready, ready for this. I don't want Tia Toomey in her fucking bra and underwear reading to my kids what she wears to the CrossFit games at the library. It's just not library. It's not library time. I don't want someone screaming their sexuality at the library reading time. Let me tell you who I do want.

I want someone who's about 55 to 60, yes, ages, whose hobbies are collecting leaves from the trees in the area, the indigenous trees, and pressing them in books, and then reads to kids in the library, and also fucking helps cats and dogs at the animal shelter. That's who I want reading to my kids. Is there something wrong with that? And you know the trannies I want reading to my kids. Is there something wrong with that? And you know, the trannies I want them to see the trannies.

My mom showed me when we would go to the plays, when I would go to the city and we would have dinner and my waiter would be fucking that. That's where I see it. Not at the library. I don't want my kid distracted by, hey, what the fuck is this person screaming? Some sort of fucking something other than just what's going on at the library so let's go over it again don't want girl in brawn athletic attire brawn panties the crossfit games girls don't want them reading at the library don't want trannies don't want hell's angels

don't want um uh you know there's a whole whole variety of things but it's not because i don't like those people i love those people i'm not I don't tell my kids to listen to my podcast. Are you crazy? Unless I got Annie Thor's daughter on. Or it's just me and Caleb. Anyway, I just wanted to be clear about that.

My wife is smart. She points that out to me because I forget people live in this duality. They'll be like, what's up on God against trannies? Nothing. Absolutely. Black and white. Fucking nothing. Last play I went to in the city was a, the main character was a dude who played a woman,

the entire big old giant black dude. He was amazing. He stole the show. He stole the show. What was it called? I forget. My mom got me the tickets, I think. I was like so bummed. I didn't want want to go and actually it was a really shitty play but he or she or whatever they want

to be called was so fucking amazing blew my mind actually blew my mind i just i would have loved to have gone and hung out one of these days when i get drunk on the air i'll tell you my my some of the parties i used to have some of the when i would go to the erotic exotic ball in san francisco the hooker's ball one of the crazy shit i did sounds crazier than a midwestern party that's for sure but not at the library and come on it's not it's not it on, it's not a dig at anybody. It's not a fucking dig at anyone. There's things that are appropriate at different times in different places. It's okay.

Someone's like, what's normal? I had a discussion today. What's normal? Do you want to know what normal is? Normal is when you grow a seed in a cup in your, and the plant starts growing towards the window. Do you know why that plant's doing that? Because that's normal. It's going for the light. It's normal.

There's normal. Normal is you park too close to someone, and you notice it, and you immediately back out. Regardless if they're a dwarf, a tranny, a fucking angry little Armenian dwarf, a fucking Jew, a fucking Godzilla. That's normal. You just back out and scoot over a little bit. Just normal. There's normal. The seedling goes to the light.

It's just normal. There is normal. And it's okay not to be normal too. Matter of fact, if you really want to not be normal, just be normal now. I'm the most normal person I know. No tattoos, stay at home, drink a lot of water, get semi aroused when I pull out the weed whacker, just normal. Do you appreciate it? Like a fresh cut lawn? Oh, so much.

I like the greatest thing. So much. Do you, do you cut it in patterns or do you just do like straight lines? I don't, you're going to hate, I don't cut my own lawn. I got to garden. Oh, okay. But like, I don't even know that I don't notice the pattern but when i go out there i'm so happy and i and i really like a yard with no poop in it can we not talk about covid oh you don't want to watch netcon 9 this show is not going to be for you i mean there's going to be some gangster shit in this in this episode when paul comes on his shit's crazy he's he he's he's

only 38 and he's done some gangster shit. But one of the things that happened is he told me I had the title wrong, like I give a fuck. But he spent some time in the hospital with COVID, and he got a hole in his throat and a hole in his stomach. And basically whatever they did to him, they wouldn't have done to someone if they were 50. They just would have let him expire. But because he's 38, they made some efforts to save save him you're nodding your head like you know that

uh you thought they were different protocols caleb yeah i was i'm curious about the the stoma or the like the trach that they did on him i'm curious like does he still have that like does he have to cover it up for when he eats and stuff or is that were they able to like close it when i met him he had a band-aid on it oh okay so they probably were able to close it because sometimes they have it like if like if some people with like throat cancer it like it just stays there and so now they have to like have a plug essentially and whenever they eat or drink or whatever like that way it doesn't nothing comes out of their mouth when they try like you would eat it and it could just fall out the hole.

Yeah, exactly. That sounds like an infection waiting to happen. Uh, if you would like to get a CEO plus speaking of trannies, a shirt, go over to vindicate. If you want to get our 4th of July edition of the CEO shirt, which I'm just so excited about, uh, go over to vindicate. If you want the old school ones, you can also go to the seven on podcast, uh, uh, dot com plus website, whatever.

Um, you know what? I need to start wearing tank tops. I think I'm going to wax all that, that tough of hair on the back of my triceps and start wearing tank tops. And, uh, and also,

so there's a website called C-A Hormones, C-A Cat Asshole Hormones.com. And if you go there and you sign up for blood work, you'll get a blood work and a free doctor's consultation if you use the code SEVAN. I think it's capital S-E-V-A-N. And then they'll contact you. They'll send you to a place to get blood work.

And then a doctor will go over the blood work with you and talk to you about like what your problems are, how, what a stud you are. Uh, Matt, he can't get on. Can you get your help?

Oh, Hmm. Right. Maybe I'll call him. I'll see what happens if I call him him just make it a live call and show for him let me see paul paul let's see paul paul oh shoot hey damn it that's not right uh call okay i'm calling paul i didn't give him much time I sent him the link kind of late it's okay we'll get him on

we've only been a few weeks yeah hey Paul what's up I sent the thread with you and Matt on it okay what the computer is saying so I just turned it on and off oh okay i tested all this like an hour before are you on chrome yes i downloaded chrome followed all matt's instructions

okay cool damien helped me and we beta tested it with like the link he had sent you guys had sent him so we got into the stream stream here oh bitchin okay just said i won't be able to use the microphone and the camera which was weird alright I'm restarting it's almost up and running give me like two more minutes okay just ignore all that stuff and come on in okay thanks brother okay bye

oh that's a great that's a great photoshop that Will did of uh of Hiller I'm gonna use that i'm working on my hiller and review show oh shoot but it's so small i almost want it to look like just like bigger like thicker co-pilot glasses it's because i gave him such a shitty post yeah but i do like it have you seen any of those videos where he's critiquing the um like it i agree have you seen any of those videos where he's critiquing the um

critiquing i've had covid forever i've had it for two years now i have i've tripled on covid i just did a nasty workout too i'm just sweating like crazy what's that hot as shit over there today oh so hot dude it's been so hot for three days i mean for us the hot is 80 degrees i was at the beach all day so hot it is nuts and's, it feels like I'm breathing water over here. I think like the feel, the feel is like a hundred degrees and it's actually like 85. It's crazy. Um, I think you'll like that when you get old, like when you're 50. Oh yeah. When it's cold, my joints hurt. Like I feel, I feel arthritic when it's the middle of the winter but then as soon as it warms up everything's all looped up and yeah ready to go you i kind of just have to like when i when i go places where it's humid like that i just have to tell myself okay you're

gonna be sweaty in two seconds just accept it and they're kind of there has to still be this first layer of water gush over me before i'm like cool with it yeah then you're just sweating for the rest of the time yeah drinking as much water as you can it must it must be horrible if you're obese oh yeah you're in omaha i was in omaha one summer and there was no one outside and i couldn't believe it and we went outside and we went to a park and my dog got destroyed by mosquitoes. And I knew then right away why no one goes outside. It was crazy. That is not surprising.

Was it like the middle of the spring or something? It was my Joe Westerlin's house. I think it was the summer we went to. I was like, there's no one out. Yeah, this is a this is a major metropolis and no one's out. And we went into a park and all of a sudden I looked at my dog and he was completely covered in mosquitoes. He probably got 200 bites. And like when you pet him, it was just blood.

Like just under his head. Yeah, it was crazy. That's nasty. He's a little chihuahua. Oh, yeah. So he was basically just covered in mosquitoes. You probably couldn't even see him. Ah, Minneapolis. Riot weather. him ah Minneapolis riot weather that's perfect

riot weather burn it down burn it down don't they say when it gets hotter like the more crime there is I like probably everybody's all hot and bothered I love all thank you to all by the way I lost 600 followers for all the fucking rants I've been doing the last couple of days but I

want to thank all the Europeans who DM me and flooded my DMs telling me how screwed up the healthcare system is when it's privatized. Man, the stories are horror stories. And for all the military people who told me that same exact thing. What a... Oh, it's nuts. The amount of time it takes for any of us to get like referrals or any sort of specialty care is it's absurd. Like just to get a normal appointment to be seen for anything,

it's like a month plus. That's absolutely insane. Yeah. Meanwhile, meanwhile, are all of, if you go to any of our hospitals in California at 10 o'clock at night, you'll see all the frequent flyers in there.

Oh, certainly. Yeah. My wife has the same problem. There are some people that she picks up that are banned from certain hospitals. They refuse to pick them up. There was somebody that they picked up twice in the same night. And when they called over to the hospital, they're like, we're going to divert you because we're not seeing this person again. they're like uh we're gonna divert you because we're not seeing this person again like it's absolutely insane it's either it's either a homeless person slash drug addict or it's somebody who's severely obese and can't take care of themselves there's one lady they had they uh they lived on like the second story of this house and they guys listen to the jets flying over caleb's house oh sorry so the what those are f-16s no um they're a newer jet one of the louder ones i guess

you can't tell us you'd have to kill us no i just don't let's give away where i am but there's this lady who lived on like the second floor of her house and she said she had a hundred pound cat i did look it up there's no such thing as a hundred pound cat unless it's like a tiger or something but easily a 50 pound cat like no litter box their entire upstairs was basically a litter box and when she came downstairs to be seen by the medic they she hurt like from the knees down was covered in cat feces. Oh, my goodness. And she was severely obese. Oh.

That's nasty. That was easy. Yo. Bam. We're live. What's up, dude? Hey, brother. How are you?

Awesome. I worked out. I put goo in my hair. I made a cup of coffee, and I put ice in it. I haven't done that in a while. There you go. You look sharp. Thank you. Hey, that piece of tape you have on your... So if you took that piece of tape off your throat, would there be a hole there? No, it's a healed up how long did that take to heal um

so it was i mean it closed the crazy thing was it was about the size of a nickel uh-huh the hole um the the trach was and on that um it took about i'd say about six weeks to fully close like i would still sneeze and it would start bleeding how about snot would snot come out of there oh dude i will be honest with you some of. So basically all that buildup I had in my chest, it literally smelled like my lungs were rotting. It was like, you could smell it. Oh, I could smell it. I'll just breathe in and in through my lungs, my nose. It was bad. Hey, you know that, um,

a tracheotomy is a surgical procedure in which an incision is made in the front of the neck and a breathing tube is placed into the tracheotomy is a surgical procedure in which an incision is made in the front of the neck and a breathing tube is placed into the trachea also called the windpipe the tube that is placed into the trachea is called the tracheotomy tube is that what you had yes sir hey you know you know that taste um like i have it right now i've been sick like for a month and like i'm in the snotty phase. My mucus has this taste. Do you know what I'm talking about?

It's like the flu taste. You spit out and it's either green or yellow. Correct. Is that what it tasted like? Worse. This stuff doesn't even taste bad. This doesn't taste bad, but it's distinct. It's very distinct. But this, I was super self-conscious after coming out of the coma that to the point where when the nurses would come by me, I felt like they could, you know, they could smell it.

And I didn't know what it was at first. I was completely baffled by the whole thing. completely baffled by the whole thing um but when they pulled out the cap that i had in there because they would hook a tube up at night uh to pump air into my lungs it was like airflow and it was just yeah the air pumping in there i could smell it it was coming out my pores it felt like and then when that cap came off oh my god it was basically. Uh-oh. Did he freeze for you, Caleb? He froze for me. They would pump it right out of your neck with this device.

They'd pump it right out of the neck. And it was so thick that you would almost vomit trying to get it out. Oh, shit. You could feel it in your throat? Yeah. Yeah, I could feel it in my throat. Oy. And they would take, like, one of the large plastic syringes,

and they would suck it right out of my throat. How come you didn't have to have that in there during the day? How come only when you slept at night? No, they would put it on at night. So I basically needed so much oxygen that they had to – I was at 10 liters, and that's how they would pump it in um through my throat so i had even during the day yeah day and night and then as we started to titrate me down to a much lesser dose um yeah so i had like the nasal cannula to start and then

they uh they put that around my throat do you remember when like you knew you're like oh shit i'm not gonna die i think i made it or do you remember when like you knew you're like, Oh shit, I'm not going to die. I think I made it. Or do you feel that way now? Do you feel like you made it? Yeah. I mean, considering how big, I mean, I got pretty much like a standing ovation leaving that hospital. Um, I was supposed to basically have a trach trach cap the rest of my life and, uh, it just started healing so well. Um it was an understatement for me to say it was not one of the most traumatic experiences I've ever gone through.

Ladies and gentlemen, there is a benefactor of the show who has been exceedingly generous to me and my family who let me stay at a home she owns in Newport beach on the beach for two weeks. And I think I shared that with you guys almost every day when I was there. And while I was there, I had the pleasure of meeting Paul there. I met Paul on the beach one day. He's friends with Sarah, the lady who let us use the home. So then I hung out with Paul on the beach. Yeah. Take your time. Go ahead. Do whatever you gotta do, Paul. So then I was with, I hung out with Paul on the beach. Yeah. Take your time.

Go ahead. Do whatever you gotta do, Paul. So then I was with, I hung out with Paul on the beach a couple of days and we kicked it and we had a really good time. He's a really cool dude. And one of the things that, you know, was revealed to me over time was, is that he's 38 years old and that he said that he spent, I think I want to say 80 days. We'll ask him now in the hospital with COVID. Oh, look, there's Sarah. Hi, Sarah. Hi, Sarah. She done fucked up.

Yeah. She just had to tell me that me and you weren't even talking. And I'm like, I've been talking to him. She's like, no, you're not. I'm like, okay. No, we are. We're live. I can see the comments. People are commenting.

There's two chicks. What happens when he burps? Yeah, people want to know stuff already. we're live i can see the comments people are commenting there's two chicks uh what happened when he what happens when he burps like yeah people are people want to know stuff already so but but hold on hold on before you get there yeah so so we hung out on the beach we became friends we hit it off right away and uh and so i said hey um i'd love for you to come on the show and just hear the whole story because i'm always just talking crazy shit about people uh who got covid and he kind of fits the as i got to know him better he fit the mold like what happened to him was because he was fucking abusing his body um prior to getting

covid and it was just a perfect storm correct so you're 38 38 and and how many kids do you have? I have four. Wow. How old are your kids? My oldest turned 15 this month. My other daughter turned 14 a couple of days later. And then my other daughter will turn 10 in September. And then I got a little man that is three. Wow. That's crazy congratulations what are you you're stoked yeah uh okay so can you tell me um can can we go back to um like this december 2019 um january uh 2020 right around then when we're starting to hear about this cruise ship out in the ocean off the coast of japan and there's some people with COVID. Can you tell me, so that's two years ago, you're 36 years old. Can you tell me what you look like then? What's your lifestyle is? Like, are you smoking at the time? Are you overweight? Just tell me like, what are you

drinking? Just tell me what you're doing. I'm in the middle of a pretty epic relapse at that time. Relapse? Yeah. Okay. What's that mean? I had about 10 years. So I had a little 10 years and some days sober and, um, I had gone back out and, um, I was in the middle of a, at that time, those days, it was in the middle of a pretty bad run for myself. So, um, I was, I mean, abusing my body as an understatement, you know? So at 36, you were 10 years sober. You'd gotten sober around 26. Yeah. And what were you doing?

What were you doing in this relapse? How does a relapse happen? And how quickly does it just pick up? And what were you doing? I mean, myself, my beliefs with the disease I have, I consider, you know, it's definitely a mental health issue. It was progressive. I was extremely active in my sobriety and my life had changed tremendously. And in all the things that sort of get real complacent, sort of believe in kind of my own hype within the industry that I was in. And ultimately I put it pretty much put a wedge between myself and

all the things that I was doing to, uh, actively stay sober. And due to some heavy personal things that had happened, I ended up going back out and it was, you know, I battled this disease since I was about 12, 13 years old is when I first started using and I've had some stints of sobriety, but by far this was the worst run I had ever been on. Wow. Wow. Yeah. It's for me to say a lot of people, I've been doing this so long and it was two weeks. I can honestly say two weeks of the three years i was out i had fun and then the type i am it's a full-time job you know it's uh so you relapse when you're 36 and in that two or three

years um that you're only two two or three weeks of it was fun and the rest is just a fucking nightmare drug induced nightmare i mean just it's truly an oxymoron i mean i like i use methamphetamine and i use fentanyl and heroin and it's either i'm smoking too much fentanyl where i'm almost about to pass out not out and then i use some meth to bring myself back up or i've used too much meth and now i'm just completely paranoid. And I spent most of my day trying to find that really plush high that, you know, I rarely get. And did you do nicotine also? Yeah.

And how much were you smoking? I'd smoke cigs, you know, occasionally, but I mean, I was smoking so much meth and so much crack cocaine and, and, and heroin and fentanyl. Yeah. I smoke occasionally nicotine really nicotine gets me when I'm sober, when I'm not using that's, and that played into the COVID situation. I assume you'll get to, but during my time, yeah, I was more focused on using drugs.

So, so you'd started to sober up before you got COVID. So my sober day was July 25th. So I'm coming up on a, coming up on a year sober. And, uh, so last year, almost a year ago, um, I had gotten, uh, checked into detox and, um, yeah, I was, you know, six, six months, seven months over going into the new year. And then I was just heavily vaping and, um, Oh, with the jewel.

Uh, I like, like those. I mean, there's a ton of different products out there. Um, but yeah, I was, I think I had like 60 vapes in my house, like before I checked into the. 60. Yeah. I just, i had them everywhere i mean the last thing you want to do is run out of one of those things they're right right right i mean most people you know you go outside to smoke when you start vaping you're vaping in bed yep fucking vaping oh sorry i'd have been because vaping in the shower you know i i would literally

i'd stick them in the couch or put them under the pillow just so I know I had one there wherever I was laying or hanging out. I had a really short stint with vaping. I fucked with the Juul a little bit and the mangoes, and I would vape while I was having sex. I would wake up in the middle of the night. I would get it to get ready to make sure if I was like, oh, we're going to bone. Hold on. Let me get my Juul, and I'd put it by the bedside. It was fucking nuts.

I tell people they used to all the jewel used to be black or you know the original one was black and i stopped buying any any of those i wanted like the brightest color because you lose them in the dark i wake up in the middle of the night i'd knock over my light stand trying to find that thing it was bad okay so i'm gonna go i'm gonna i really want to hear about this this um what happened as covid like how it fucking you get it and it creeps into your shit but for can i go back even younger why why do um when you were 13 why did you start doing drugs um you know i i was kind of a nomad in the sense for kind of a latchkey kid and um la orange county at that time orange county i had a neighbor that um his family had a restaurant here in newport beach and he was a sophomore when i was like a seventh grader and uh i was

hanging out with those guys and you know some reason they always like all the guys like to get the young kid high and i you know i wasn't fighting it in any way and uh that was kind of the first exposure to it started you started smoking weed so i smoked weed a couple times and then that was at 12 and also that same year um i had gotten in trouble at school so the punishment had to work with my dad all through the summer. And he was in the restaurant business and I worked in this kitchen that ran like two different shifts a day. And the guys in the kitchen used to smoke me out with meth. And I mean, it was.

Did your dad know that? Did you know? No, no, no. My dad used to be at the computer in the office and I'd go tap on his shoulder and I'd be like, Hey, I need some money. He wouldn't even look at me. Just hand it right over the shoulder. Yeah, like at 20 or something. You know, at that age. Right. And yeah, so I used to get all twisted up with these dudes. And yeah, that was kind of the introduction.

I was buying fireworks. Yeah, no, I was. I like bottle rockets i still like bottle rockets but uh no i i could still date it back to when my mom used to tell me like uh i had cousins coming in for the weekend and it'd be like a tuesday and i would literally go to the cabinet and chug cough syrup like to go to sleep because i'm like i'm just gonna sleep until get here. Like I was so excited to hang out with them. And, uh, and I would, I was, you know, eight, eight years old, chugging cough syrup, just to say, I would never, I wouldn't sleep for four days straight. But, um, yeah,

it was always, uh, yearning for some type of substance. When you look at your own kids now, are you like, Oh shit, God, I hope they don't fucking do that. Oh, big time, big time. I mean in genetic predisposition alone you know uh the type of junkie addict that i am and uh i worry about that obviously i see behaviors but i'm trying not to constantly judge my kids you know i mean i want them to be kids and right um i think the best thing i could do is just arm them with as much information as they possibly could have. And so you go on this fucking crazy run from 12 to 26 where basically you don't have a single day of your life where you're sober. So 12, no, there was a lot of incarceration and drug rehabs in there.

I was able to... Because you started stealing for drugs or dealing drugs. Uh, I dealt drugs. I mean, I, I was always had access, uh, just with a group of friends I ran with. And, um, I got into some trouble, got into like a pretty bad fight down here and hit this dude in the head with like a metal bar and ended up at juvenile hall. Over drug, over a drug deal over money. No, no, no no no no just uh

fight just a fight yeah so i had that going on and then um one of the worst things that happened to me as a child was uh it was the same year the columbine shooting it happened i was suspended from school at the time it was two days after the coline shooting. So I know that. And I had gone to a girl's house for what I thought was a birthday party, but I was so loaded. It was a going away party. So I'm 15 years old and suspended that Monday after going to that party. And my buddy's like, we need to get some money to get some weed. And I'm like, oh, I know where this girl put the money from her birthday party.

Let's just go steal it. Sounded like an easy plan. We go over there, We break into the house. And it was a tri-level house in Dana Point. We entered from the top. By the time we got down to the bottom room, there was this room. All the walls had guns hanging on it.

And two guys I did it broke into the house with. They were like 19 and 17. I was 15. One of my buddies, Brent, was like, I know where we can sell these guns. We can get the money. I was 15. One of my buddies, Brent, was like, I know where we can sell these guns. We can get the money. I was like, oh, he's like my sister's boyfriend. I said, great. Let's take them. We ended up taking every gun.

It turned out to be over 100 different handguns and knives and stuff. We went and I went to my parents' house. Later that night, I was tripping. I had all this stuff in my mom's house. My mom and stepdad's. I called them the next morning. I'm like, hey, Brent, I had all this stuff in my mom's house, my mom and stepdads. And I called him the next morning.

I'm like, hey, Brent, you got to get here. We were going to go bury him and hide him until we get rid of all of them, all these genius ideas we had. And I kept calling him. He didn't answer. And his mom picked up my last call. I had left a message. She's like, oh, honey, Brent's running an errand. He'll be there soon.

Although in the previous message I had left, I said everything. I'm like, Brent, we hope you'll bury these guns. Well, she was recording her son's calls to see where he was getting drugs from. I came across my voicemail. She turned her son right into the police. And the only reason cops didn't come to my house immediately, I was a minor. So basically, long and short of it, my parents' home got raided. And they got me with all those guns. And was two days after columbine shooting so they threw the book at me as a minor so that was kind of the introduction to now the jail system but uh how long did you spend in jail for that um i was in eight months and then i did a year on house arrest wow yeah that was my first exposure i'll be honest with my hair was falling out i mean first time to get locked up i'm in a single man's cell which jail were you in was it southern california it was the juvenile hall in orange

california so you're off to the races and were you sober when you were in there in juvenile hall yeah yeah yeah and that was kind of probably the first time you had been sober in yeah yeah consistent sober absolutely that that was a complete everything stopped then and and and when you come out um you just go right over to the to your friend's mom's house and just fucking take a big shit in her mouth no i'm joking um now all those guys they got because they were older they have gotten uh sent away to like uh los pinos and like the adolescent camps and i did my time at the hall but yeah the house would rest yeah i had every intention of staying sober but as soon as i was out um i ended up smoking weed and getting loaded again and just back onto the races. And the system doesn't do anything to help you prevent that, right?

They're like, look, we're going to get out and you're going to start playing soccer eight hours a day and you're going to be in this program. It's not like that. It's just like, hey, go home and you start digging through your mom's fucking cabinet for fucking... Yeah, I did a lot of that. I took a lot of my mom's medication because my mom is absolutely again it's it's we are so polar opposites in that regard she doesn't take anything but yeah your mom doesn't no yeah no no no i can remember going to my friend's houses some really rich people and the and the parents would have just crazy um sample boxes of any

drug you wanted basically that their doctors had given them like a sample box of oxycontin sample box of oxycodone sample box of vicodin you know what i mean and there'd be hundreds in them and you just pull them out and pop one and throw the pack you know what i'm talking about yeah you got great friends now i would steal other people's pill bottles It was nuts All those kids ended up doing a lot of meth too It's just the accessibility to meth now It's crazy as everything's happened During this pandemic

And everything now The cost of drugs is cheap And the abundance is It's the scariest time and i've been doing this a long time whether i'm sober or i work in the industry now i think it's the scariest time to be a drug addict um so so then at 26 what happens that makes you um decide to get sober did you have a near-death experience or well um i i was i had a i had some sobriety before that um i lost like four friends uh dead lost like dead yeah overdose when i was 20

so i got put in i got put into treatment and i was able to maintain about six years of sobriety i say dry i wasn't doing anything to help myself i just wasn't using i was just selling drugs and uh kind of staying in that lifestyle because i think you you were selling but not in not not doing so much between 20 26 yeah between the about 19 to uh 20 24. Did you carry? Guns? Yeah. I've been a convicted felon since I was like 19. So you don't want to get caught with guns out here.

I mean, did I have guns to do a transaction or something? Yeah. But I never just rolled around with one though. It was kind of the, I used to sell a lot of weed. And then soon, if you were going to move out of the weed game or start selling large amounts of weed to strangers, all of a sudden it became a gun thing.

And I always, I always kind of avoided that. That's why I never graduated. Cause I didn't want to. That story I told you when we stole those guns. Yeah. Well, we went back.

None of us had touched a gun before we're all sitting indian style in my buddy's house looking at these things and my buddy you know we couldn't even get the clips out and my friend had pointed i mean literally indian style three of us and uh shot one bullet right above my head he thought he had got because he got the clip out. We didn't know, you know, he still, still was one in the chamber. This was at your parents' house.

This was at my, one of my buddies that we robbed the place with. And it goes in the wall tiny. And that's when, you know, now I know what a hollow point is, but came out much larger. And I mean,

literally all of our ears went out, you know, and I just felt it just grazed the top of my hair. It was, yeah, there was. What the fuck? you know and i just felt it just grazed the top of my hair it was yeah it was what the fuck first near-death experience oh god uh okay so so so so what ends up happening at 26 that makes you like finally get like serious about it you almost go to jail again or yeah yeah, yeah. I got busted pretty bad down here.

I was super paranoid. I had like this little stash pen down in San Clemente. And I was so loaded that I just got too high. For those of you who don't know, San Clemente is a small surfer town in between basically San Diego and Los Angeles. And it is like a premier spot for surfers it's like surfer haven all the best surfers in the world probably own homes there know someone there surf there it's like a surfing mecca okay sorry go ahead yeah no so i had a little stash pad there and i just got too high i started doing the peeking out the window thing convinced myself

that you know the place was hot. So I packed up all my drugs and then I was going to move it to a friend's house. Buddy called me on the way. I know the process of me doing that. He asked for something. And, um, my buddy suffered from some severe mental health and, you know, we were using together. So I roll up to his house in Laguna and he's got a bulletproof vest on and he's outside walking around. Oh, he's more paranoid than you. Holy shit. The neighbor, the neighbor saw that. So I go inside to drop off what he needs. And I mean, this house was insane, full security room. And he's outside

talking to someone. I'm about to leave the stuff there for him. And I just see on like a hundred, hundred screens on this wall wall i just see cop car cop car cop car and i'm like oh my god and you know to leave out the back means you drop off into laguna canyon you know a couple hundred feet to your death i went to look to see if i could do it i couldn't i'm scared of heights so that wasn't gonna happen but i would go back in that security room i had a buddy in the car they already had him out of the car they had all the drugs i had in the car and so and and what had happened was is you had all your your drugs in the car because you've gotten paranoid at your stash house and we're gonna move locations oh fuck yeah i mean this happened so fast it was just so hard to comprehend they already had both

the one guy in my car uh in cuffs they had my buddy in the bulletproof vest and cuffs. And about 10 minutes later, they called my cell phone. And they asked me to come outside. And I'm just trying to hide everything in the house that I had, even though they had the rest of my car. And my buddy had one of those Desert Lynx cats that's like five feet tall. So they called my cell phone back and they were asking me all this stuff about the cat. And they waited next day,

you know, like a SWAT team shows up and they're all ready. I just saw these guys like gearing up to come in. And I was like, okay, I'll come out. Yeah. I didn't want to fucking get shot over this,

but they were more concerned about the cat than they were me. Bottom line. Correct. That's exactly what it was. So this dude was rich as shit. Oh, yeah. Big go. What ended up happening to him? Did he get off since it was all your drugs?

Yeah, he did. Nothing happened to him. I went down a ball of flames for that one. They offered me 10 years. Two days later, I had checked. First, I checked that one. They offered me 10 years. Two days later, first I checked into rehab. So I tried to detox at home. And I was in such bad shape. I mean, did some of the worst things I've ever done, like use in front of my girl at that time.

And just things I would have never done. But I was hurting bad. And, yeah, I went to, I went to treatment. Uh, I had scheduled to go to a certain rehab and, uh, ended up at the wrong one, but I was kicking dope so bad at that time. I just stayed there. And, um, What do you mean you went to the wrong one? Like you signed up for this one and showed up. Yeah. My friend told my attorneys like, uh, you should go to a Las Citas in Pasadena. So we just Googled Pasadena, and Pasadena Recovery Center came up. And then my attorney's like, you're going to love the place.

It's all these sprawling green grounds. It's a hospital. And then I show up to Pasadena Recovery Center, and it's a little janky. But you know what? It all worked out for the best. And so you didn't get the 10 years? No, the first offer was 10 years and um i had a really good attorney and i stayed in rehab the entire time i fought my case from treatment we did a you know a whole bunch of postponing and i mean at first from unfortunately

my past i know like you know you want to address your court case right at the beginning yeah everyone's trying to sink their teeth into it. But you play that thing out for a year, it's not that attractive. And we pushed it out as far as we could. So I got busted February 8th, 2010. I was in treatment February 10th. And they had a court reset where they switch all the judges and DAs. And I took my offer of a checked in to turn myself into jail, August 28th of 2010. And then how long did you have to do? A year.

Damn. Do you cry when you get that? The judge made me, I had all the character letters. I was feeding homeless. I gotta be honest. I was doing all these things, but I was doing all these things for the court, you know? Right. Of course. And it wasn't until I got in there that it just all,

it was the first time since I was a juvenile that I got put into a single man jail cell. And I don't care how tough you are. I mean, just that being alone that, you know, 17 hours a day in a cell, it was, it was tough, you know, and then I could really see I was doing things for core. It wasn't really doing it for myself, but yeah, I was super fortunate to get that offer. And the judge had, I said, you got a one-time offer. I'll give you a year, but you sign right now. And I asked to go out and speak to my family. She said, no. She says, I'll give you about three to five minutes to make a decision.

And my attorney like nodded, like, you need to take this. So I just signed right back. Do you think that if you wouldn't have gone to jail, you would have relapsed right then and there? Or no? I don't know. I don't know. I had caused so much wreckage. You know, at that time, I had two young kids, my two oldest were, you know,

two and three. Um, I don't know, but I know me going to jail needed to happen. No shit. Yeah. I mean, that's the only way I can ever really just, there's only two ways I can justify jail. If you think it's going to help someone or if it's going to protect someone, like if someone's hurting people and and you weren't hurting people and so then it becomes what's best for you yeah i think i mean just being transparent and having this type of conversation

uh i think the whole jail system is extremely faulted out here but i think for my personal case yeah it needed to happen i needed to slow this whole thing down. I had broken so many laws, you know what I mean? Um, I needed that separation. Ideally, I tried to get a deal where I could just stay in rehab for the year, but the court wasn't having that. And then, and then you, and then you get out and you're, are you, are you 27 now? Yeah. So, well,

I turned 27 in there cause my birthday is September 7th. Uh then it was, I mean, it was, it's things I'll never forget to celebrate a birthday in there. Okay. Not, not, not the end of the world. Not too big of a deal. But celebrating the holidays in there was, was extremely tough, was extremely tough. It was extremely tough. And you got to keep in mind, I mean, at this time, I'm what? I'm almost eight months sober when I check into treatment or check into jail. I turn myself in. So I'm sober. And I had done time before. And, you know, I get in there. The guys I knew, I mean, I knew a bunch of people that I grew up with or went to school with. And it's like an ongoing joke. who were in there. Yeah. It was like an ongoing joke and everyone's getting high in there. And then I would always say, no,

I'm sober. And they're all like laughing at me like, Oh yeah, this guy's sober. No one believed me that I was sober. Oh, wow. You know,

because you really don't check into jail sober and I'm in jail, you know, everyone. Yeah. So that took some time for everyone to kind of really believe that I wasn't getting high. What were they doing when you were in jail? What kind of drugs were they doing?

Just smoking weed or cough syrup? No, we there's weed in there, but it's, it's a bust. You know, there's that it's going to smell forever. Main things were the Pruno Hooch. Oh, okay. um the pruno hooch oh okay and then um and then whatever anybody it's you really want me to tell you a little bit yeah sure please what do you keys do you keyster it in people yeah yeah so guys it's called shelving and it's definitely not for everybody i i would never do it it's not that serious but

guys are that know they're turning themselves in or or in an area where they're going to get pinched, they'll shelf. And they literally, they could fit a syringe, a lighter, a bunch of dope up in there. And then when they get inside, they go to the certain, you know, whoever's in charge of your race. They'll ask for a plastic bag. And, yeah. And they go in there and they shut all that out. It's a... Shelving, inserting a foreign item into the rectum,

usually in regards to recreational drugs. A discreet, discreet and effective way. I haven't got much left, so I guess I'll shelve the rest. Why? I'm surprised that they don't know and they don't check for that well they do once you get in there you get strip searched and then you have to squat and cough and that's the attempt of getting it out of there but i think a fucking pocket knife

drops out i mean a lot of those guys carry carry uh something in there to protect themselves okay so you get out and then are you tripping you're like what am i going to do with my A lot of those guys carry something in there to protect themselves. Okay. So you get out and then are you tripping? You're like, what am I going to do with my life? What am I going to do? I got released to like a behavior modification program from Phoenix House. So it was a good transition, you know. A lot of guys that were incarcerated and stuff.

Do you get a job? No, no, no. You didn't leave the treatment center. Like you work at the treatment center. So it gave me some better timing that was going on with society. You know what I mean? Because I had been tucked away for a little bit. But I don't think – a year is not going to make you too institutionalized.

But yeah, so I went to treatment after that and then from there i went right back to sober living and and then what's the first job you get outside of that um i i was working on like movie sets uh locations so i'd go for like all these different commercials i'd go scout the location or the guy wouldn't i either guard the location i thought it was a great job coming out because i was getting like 250 bucks a day working an hour or two yeah and then but it's a day rate next thing you know you're working 18 20 hours for that 250 it got it got to be terrible who hooked you up with that job sober people guys i met in the program oh shit so give me an idea so they would be like hey we're they're

gonna shoot a deodorant ad here tomorrow at this park just park here and wait until all the movies yeah i go pick up a van milwaukee talk my first overnight gig was the day the patriots lost to the giants in that first second super bowl and um i had to go out to death valley and guard the set and basically it was just equipment dropped off in the desert overnight fucking freezing and um yeah it was it was super depressing but uh yeah it was just odd and then jobs like that and then and then that was enough to start like getting back into your kids life and back into your no i mean at that time um you know uh my now ex and and my girl at the time x uh, and kids were, uh, they were staying with her parents and, um, I wasn't really liked by too many family members at

that time for kind of the records that I created. So I was just staying in sober living. I was working these jobs and then, um, I taken over as a sober living house manager for the house I was in. Oh, cool. That kind of led into what I do now for, for work. And then I'd taken over as a sober living house manager for the house I was in. Oh, cool. That kind of led into what I do now for work. But yeah.

And did you start feeling like a good person, like your self-esteem and your self-worth? And just like, did you feel like a good person? You know, when I had gone back after doing that year and then going into the treatment center they released me to and then completing that and going back to sober living I was actually somewhat in a in a good place I will say when you hear the I would say like the last time I felt ever centered and I was like kind of like spiritually and kind of sound was actually in jail. I know it sounds a little crazy, but, you know, I had the 10 books that I had. I knew what time I was getting fed. I learned very early in that sentence to stay off the phone.

You know, it's just they call it the stress box. You talk to your kids, you get all emotional and the world goes on. All your friends, everything still goes on so you feel really left behind but yeah i i had a really good program going on for myself of how to get through those days and uh i was i was like it sounds crazy i was happy you know i mean i was happy with myself i knew i had a date coming up but um you know the day i walked out of there that goes right out the window you put a cell phone in your hands and then you're making calls and all the little routines I had and, you know, meditations I did. I mean, it was almost impossible to get that back.

Wow. Okay. So there's discipline and structure in there and routine. I feel that's the only way to get through, you know. And there's a lot of guys doing it. There's a lot of guys doing it. It wasn't like I made all this stuff up these things that were taught to me um and then and then you so from from you you have this job you're on the movie sets guarding stuff and then how what progresses next what's the next vocation you end up getting you climb up the food

chain in that in that world no so i was in the sober living at that time in uh highland park and you know i was going to i was going to a meetings uh daily and um kind of built this core group of guys and you know i'm getting approached almost every day at a meeting like oh you know you have any space in your sober living so i just end up start filling this house and um i'd gone to the owner and i was like listen you know i got a bunch of people that want to move in here. We need to add some beds. We added beds and that got full. And then I said, we need to get another house.

And we got another house in Pasadena. And next thing you know, I mean, I kind of found what I saw as my niche within the industry of what I wanted to do. And I made it work for, uh, for some time and then branched out on my own. And you, what's that mean? You branched out on your own, you started opening your own store. Yeah. I mean, at that point at the end of the day, I was still working for somebody and I was pretty much doing everything, you know, from day to day

to dealing with the clients, house meetings, you know, grocery shopping, the whole operation. And, um, you know, I wasn't making the lion's share of everything. So, yeah, I had gone to my ex's father. He gave me the first 30K and went and opened my own sober living. And it got real big after that. No shit. Yeah. Do you still own those homes i have some silver livings yeah

do the whole covet thing um that was probably the toughest business to still maintain but we still have some homes yeah no shit that was tough the the the one my wife works at one and and they were actually prior to covet hurting. And during COVID, it just fucking exploded because everyone was just all fucked up. Yeah, you're absolutely right. There's two ways to look at it. I mean, I had 12 sober living homes. So I had about 160 beds. Wow.

And we were definitely one of the larger ones in Los Angeles. But the unfortunate, I mean, how it all works. It's, it's basically, you know, the sober living I went to, we all paid cash to be at, you know, and, uh, then the industry changed and then sober livings worked with treatment centers. And, um, so that's, that's how it got really big. But, um, yeah, then I opened my first treatment center following that. And, uh, yeah. Hey, that must, so, so relapsing being the boss of all that shit must have been some a massive ego blow huh you must have been tripping oh yeah so that run um

started because you saw sorry you saw you saw employees relapse over the 10 years you ran that right like someone would go through your program they'd get a job there next thing you know you're like fuck that dude's high as fucking. Yeah, I was definitely the alpha of my whole kind of situation. And I saw a ton of employees relapse, a ton of clients relapse. But yeah, I basically, you know, at that time, had enough padding between myself, the businesses, had enough money. I kept everyone at bay. So for, I would say, 18 months, you know, no one had a clue. No, had enough money. I kept everyone at bay. So for, I would say,

18 months, you know, no one had a clue. No one had a clue. And during this time, when you were 26 and you got out, you said you were active. What were you doing? Were you lifting weights? Were you doing jujitsu? What were you doing? Yeah. So, you know, when I had gotten out of jail and went back to sober living, I started went back to sober living um i started uh training uh doing mma training mma and and really uh loving jujitsu within that that training and uh turns out my coach at that time savant young fight academy pasadena um you know he he knew a lot about the disease of addiction um through family and uh that was great to me. And I would get up 6am, go to the gym. I train like four hours in the morning. I do my AA stuff, you know,

work on the sober living stuff. And then I train at night and I was the absolute, I literally took all my addictive nature and channeled it into that. And, um, What's that look like? So, soiu-jitsu, striking, judo? You're doing it all. We did it all. It was a true old-school MMA gym. Yeah, there is Coach right there. Super, super.

I mean, just opened up the home to me, introduced me to a lot of guys at a time where I was absolutely rebuilding. I was growing up in orange county and uh now i'm up in la i only got a bunch you know sober friends through the sober living and now i can make some friends outside of there and um it just couldn't came at a better time uh and and how how long did you do that how long were you serious about training mma in the jiu-jitsu um so that was basically 2011 i would say i mean i didn't miss i didn't miss a day you know i'm training five six days a week you'd have days off you know obviously but um it's part of your rehab basically like you said you've you've

totally put your energy into it i mean uh I've been scratching the same itch. I can say this. I train almost every day, more days than not up until that relapse. So 10 years. Did you did you get belts at the gym? Yeah. So, I mean, through that process, a lot of gyms have like no key belt systems, which I'm exposed to something completely different now. But, yeah, I was some brown belt like no key and then um greatest thing happened uh we had done a seminar at fight

academy and we had jeff glover there and um he had made a comment about you know some of the best guys in jiu-jitsu are the mendez brothers. And about a week later after that seminar, my daughter, my youngest daughter was born. I had gone to go to the store to get some stuff, go back to the hospital. And driving down 17th, I saw a sign that says Mendez brothers jujitsu. So I called my coach, told him about it. And they did the coolest thing ever. They said, if that's really them, they really have a gym here. You need to leave here and go start training there so um i had signed up yeah did you start

over to white belt again yeah no shit yeah because i was doing all no gi mma style jiu-jitsu you know everything for position uh you could do leg attacks heel hooks um but you put the gi on and everyone had told me you know you put the gi on and everyone had told me, you know, you, you put the gi on, it'll definitely sharpen, um, you know, sharpen your no gi game. And, uh, oh yeah, there they are. Good. I mean, just unbelievably, uh, really good guys. Wow.

Crazy. I think they changed the game, know people obviously that would always spark an argument and you know that's sport jiu-jitsu a lot of that stuff you it's not self-defense and you're not going to use a lot of that in an mma fight but in the sports jiu-jitsu that's that's as bad as good as it gets i i um i like um i think the 10th Planet guy does it, that combat jujitsu. Is that what it is? Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Eddie Bravo's combat jujitsu. It's open palm. Yeah. And you can't strike until someone goes to the ground first. I kind of like that because sometimes I watch jujitsu, and my kids do it, and they do it a lot. And I see the people getting into these positions positions and I'm just like, yeah, like that. They've been stuck there so long. And in the real world, you could, you could put a stop to that right away. Right. Just like lean over and punch the dude in the face. It's kind of nice that they have that. Say it again. Yeah. I think it's belief system. I mean,

for myself, I'm, I'm a huge supporter of all, uh, right. Right. So I love Eddie Bravo's layout. I mean, I think what he's done has been, you know, has given the sport just a huge leaps and bounds. But I think for sports jiu-jitsu, what they've done, and just how hard these guys train. I mean, it's like an all-star team. You know, people come. I've met so many people from around the world.

I'm shocked. Like, people that are very successful in their own countries literally will come out here, stay in an apartment with 10 or 15 other dudes, living on air mattresses or sleeping bags or mattresses on the ground just to train here. Yeah, I believe it. I mean, it's been quite the experience. But yes, I agree with what you're saying. Yeah, the whole community is awesome. Gi, no Gi. It's good.

It's, I just heard Robert, excuse me. I just heard Robert Whitaker, the Australian, you know, 185 pound fucking super stud. Just yeah.

Yeah. Say that, man, it's it, that basically jujitsu is, is just a great lifestyle. Like don't think of it as anything else other than just a great lifestyle. And I couldn't agree more. It's so good for my kids.

I think coming from the MMA gym and there was times where I'd go there, we'd have our crazy sparring sessions and then I'm leaving there, you know, I can't chew. My jaw has been absolutely rearranged. And I'm just like, you know, I got a hematoma on my shin from kicking someone's knee I could barely walk and I'm like everyone's telling all my friends like you're an idiot like I can't believe

you do this shit I wanted to be able to spar at 100 and have that and jiu-jitsu is giving me that yeah where I could just go full clip all the time and uh really test myself, you know, boxing and, and, and, and, and kickboxing. It's, I got a lot of respect. That's rough. Are you back at it? I just got medically cleared. Okay. So I would say the next, next couple of weeks. Are you missing it or are you dreading going back? I'm missing it. I'm missing it. Yeah. Okay.

I'm going to jump forward for here, but then I'm missing it. I'm missing it. Yeah. Big time. I'm going to jump forward for here, but then I'm going to go back a second. So you, did you, did you end up getting the pellets put in your hip? Yes, I did.

So, so about a week or two ago, you went and got blood work. No, I got blood work done a little before that. Okay. And then today will be actual two full weeks of the pellets

and so you got blood work and what did the blood work say so i don't know if a lot of people know this but um i've noticed some things in my own recovery and through this journey and um i noticed a lot of guys that get sober they want want to, everyone's start working out, getting healthy. And, you know, like I said, my own experience, everyone started gym rats and just, they want to get big. And a lot of guys weren't getting any results. And then kind of noticing what like almost women go through in menopause, you know, they need hormones to get readjusted. It's pretty much what the experience has been on this side where opiates are the number one killer of natural testosterone. No shit.

I didn't know that. So, I mean, you could be on Suboxone, methadone, any of the maintenance drugs or the actual opiates itself. So, you know, like I said, I had my blood done and I came back at, you know, 163. Okay. It's like an 84 year old man yeah i heard i heard leah thomas the the dude that swims with the girls is like 250 a little bit more than me yeah yeah so 163 and wasn't having any issue with libido, just had gained weight, was constantly tired. You know, I'm drinking four or five energy drinks,

three cups of coffee in the morning. Yeah. I'm lucky to get any water down at that point, you know? And like the adrenals just absolutely tap sluggish, eat something you feel like shit. I mean, I'm taking melatonin to sleep any any type of herbal thing to you can't sleep and um you sound like you're describing me i hate that i just i feel honestly i know it's been two weeks and they say the pellets peak right around two weeks yeah um but i would say after about a week you you know, seven days, I started feeling a lot better. I haven't taken a nap.

And I feel a little chippy, you know, a little aggressive, agitated more. But, I mean, that's a transition with any TRT regimen. So you got your blood work back, and then they basically just opened up a little. Yeah, so I went to Doc's office. You had Dr. Caroline connor on the show with damien yeah and um i had um sarah was a real big advocate um of me getting this done so she's like you need to get in there and we were going to go with injections um i've been on two trt regimes in the past and um i got a lot of scar tissue buildup like on the right side. So,

you know, getting, getting a shot in there sometimes a little hurts a little more than it should. So I thought the PELs were just a great, you know, opportunity. It's a lot more, you know, hearing it's side effects are a little less, it's a lot more stable. You're going to have them in there six to seven months, they'll dissipate, you know, and then you can have the procedure done again. I said, yeah, let's, let's go for it. So small incision in the hip, numb you up first, small incision, the implant, implant, the implants, the pellets, and then they use a Steri-Strip and yeah. And then you're off and running. It did swell. Like I told it was going to swell and it, I was sore for about five days. Can, can you feel the pellets when you push on it? No, they're tiny, tiny.

And then, and you do feel it, you feel better that you're not napping. You actually feel better. Yeah. I would say, you know, right around the seven day mark, I had just noticed, I was like, fuck, you don't want to get back to the gym, want to start working out. And I understand there's a mental component to this, but I truly felt physically better. And you got to understand, I mean, running at 163, I'm in a female's range. So anything's going to be better than that. Right. Have you noticed, has your diet changed?

Do you want to eat different food? Do you drink less coffee, less energy drinks, shit like that? Well, now, since being out of the hospital, I do everything different. I have two cups of coffee a day. I haven't had an energy drink since being out of the hospital. I don't vape. So everything I do in intake is pretty monitored. Can you believe you quit vaping?

That is some hard shit to quit. I'll be honest with you. Over all the drugs that I've done, I miss vaping. You know, I do. You know, a lot of the vaping companies are here. Nicotine's amazing. Yeah, a lot of the vape companies are here. So everyone vapes and my whole clients and everybody vapes.

But everyone complains about quitting. But no one's- Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah it's stupid it is completely stupid and let me tell you it it those people all are going to die prematurely i hate to say it well i mean what it did to me in that short period of time i mean i was vaping in the er i had snuck one in when I had the 105 temperature. So I was below 100 at 29 years old and moody as hell. I'm in right there. Now this guy is a 12 inch cock and 32 inch biceps. Okay. So, so you, you, you're 26, 27, you get out of jail, you start working, you get on the straight and narrow, you're training with some of the most disciplined people in the world and one of the best sports

the world's ever seen, you know, combat and learning how to use your body. You're getting super grounded. You're getting your shit together. You actually, you start to become an entrepreneur and start opening your own businesses and drug rehabs. And there was something you, you must, did you just stop going to AA all of a sudden there was some sort of mindset piece you said that happened in there where you just thought that maybe like you were too cool for school or you started believing your own hype or what was that?

Everything was really working out for me with work and money, girls, cars, work, the whole thing. Yeah. Yeah. And you know, the kind of the arrangement I had at a time having, um, you know, three kids was I'd work and, um, you know, my girl at the time would stay home with the kids. So I did everything I could to,

to make this work thing work. And, and, and it did, but I was doing that. All my business were in LA. I was gone. I was away all the time. And, you know, I started taking a lot of these guys to the meetings I go to. And then I felt like I couldn't go to these meetings. So I'm taking clients there. Really what I was doing,

I was just kind of putting a wedge and I was just bullshitting myself. And I just got away from all the basics. There's no need to, you know, my experience now, I don't need to complicate all this stuff. It's worked for many people. And I just had to get back to the basics. Which is what?

Go to meetings regularly? Yeah. I mean, currently, you know, I attend probably six or seven meetings a week. Something that I didn't even do before. But also, I'd like to state, I have an Alano club that has 10 meetings a day, only two-minute walk from my house. So I have the accessibility. What's an Alano club? Alano club is like a –

A nice club? No, it's just a spot dedicated to 12-step meetings. Oh, shit. Okay, cool. So they got a schedule. So I have accessibility to these meetings, and I'm having a good experience right now with uh my recovery but yeah i got away from all of it what was the first thing that you started doing was it alcohol what was the first thing you did when you when you started relapsing um the pain pills oh shit

yeah pain pills pop a couple of those. That started with two a day. And by the end, by the time I stopped those, I was eating right around 50 a day. 50 a day? Yeah, the amount of Tylenol in those things gets you so absolutely nauseous that I found a way. I'll just tell you. nauseous that I had found a way. I'll just tell you, you take basically like a cup and put a coffee filter over it.

And they put a rubber band around that kind of push the coffee filter in. You put the pain pills in there, like the Norcos. And then you take hot water and pour it over it. And hydrocodone is water soluble. And then the Tylenol gets caught in the filter. So then I would drink whatever drops through oh shit it was i mean i just i just want to couldn't even eat how do you get 50 a day how do you supply that habit where do you buy them um i mean crooked doctors to people off the street. Wow.

Dude, there's crazy shit out here. So there's a... Tell me, tell me. There's basically... Change the names to protect the guilty. No, no, no. There's a service in LA. You call this number and then they basically send an Uber or Lyft to your house.

And then they pull right out front and then you would get in the back and they hand you a menu and these guys are driving with weight i mean thousands of pills and they literally hand you a menu they have everything heroin crack ketamine ghb every type of pill is it a dude is it a dude or a girl both and do you think they're packing no no no not these guys i mean you know what the fuck i don't know i yeah i became friends with these guys because i ordered so much off them but um yeah i mean this guy had an operation going on sending uber and lyft drivers everywhere just a one-stop shop. So when I got introduced to that, that made everything a lot worse. Just so you know, Paul, you weren't on the show when I was going off of this.

This person whose occupation it is to deliver drug via Lyft, I don't want them at the public library reading to my kids either. I was making a list of people like I don't want reading to my kids at the public library. Now, I do want that person to come on my show. It's a fascinating occupation and I think I'd like to know all about it. But that person is not appropriate to read to my kids at the public library now i do want that person to come on my show it's a fascinating occupation and i think it's i'd like to know all about it but that person is not appropriate to read to my kids at the public library absolutely i don't know it's just different they're different they got different skills i was just saying like i don't hate trannies i love trannies fucking party with trannies i just they they should they don't have to be yeah they're

fucking the greatest partiers they're free shit gets awesome with them around but but i don't want them they leave the house with better odds right you know they go but i don't want them at the public library you know reading to my house better odds it's a little more being selfish okay so so so you so once you're in the scene you can get whatever you want once you're in the know and you have and the scene, you can get whatever you want. Once you're in the know and you have, and you have money, you can get whatever you want. Like. Of course. Yeah. Yeah. Supply and demand. And then, and, and then some,

and then something happens. Do you, do you go back to you? Do you ever start using needles? Yeah. This, this last run, I ended with needles. And for meth or heroin or fentanyl? Primarily meth, and then I got bad enough and a couple failed trials. I mean, the fentanyl thing is so weird because every batch is different. Every batch. So you got to – I had a couple of buddies that always tested out.

But I'd put a very, very minimal amount, like 0.1, 0.2 in the syringe with the, with the meth and I'd blast off. How many people do you know in the last, um, two years who've died from drug overdose? Oh my God. Oh, really? It is like that, huh? It's, it's. More than five?

Um, yeah. One, I, I know one that died last week. week i helped her get so we actually went into treatment the same day and um they had found her body um two days in the bathroom but um fentanyl again so that shit's real like is it is it chinese fentanyl coming over the border in mexico and it's just killing people like absolutely that's it just like they say on like that's like the conspiracy theory 100 000 kids died in 2021 now it's going to be 150 000 in 2022 you know the crazy piece is if look up um i know this chick who just died from fentanyl she wasn't even doing fentanyl okay so that that's that's a point in just a couple weeks ago family friend it's fucking nuts

this is minutiae in the big picture but most of the people that use fentanyl are not the ones dying from it because they know how dangerous it is right it's basically it's the things that are cut and you know now you can't find real pills you know it there's press pills so basically press pills are all everything that's a counterfeit of the original and they all have fentanyl in it um i would say 90 not all but uh you know so for the kid that thinks he's just taking a pain pill that his mom takes that you know that's in the bottle in the parents house or the xanax bar that they've taken before that's the shit that's killing everybody you know i mean wow i don't get it now's a bad time to be doing drugs it's the great i mean this

whole last run i have these uh fentanyl test strips and i would literally anything i would get new i would drop in a cup first you had to pee pee on the um pee on the substance to to activate it and then test it but then you're able to use water in the end um and i would test everything that i'd get before you used it absolutely and you find fentanyl even though i'm using fentanyl i just want to take something else you know and i had some close calls i had. I had two really close calls on this last one. But I have just like a black hole inside of me. I can use like a lot, a lot. Yeah, someone was telling me that there's some amount of fentanyl.

Like once you're good to go and adapted, there's amounts that you can take that won't affect, not you personally, but that someone could take that wouldn't affect them that would kill someone else 100 i was definitely i had no idea what i had that level you could build a tolerance to it 100 as you build tolerance i mean the big one of the biggest problems with my using is my tolerance uh we we have a test uh with the lab that is like a PGX test, a pharmacogenetic test. And then you take cotton swab the inside of your mouth and it tells you the type of medications you can and cannot take and what actually works for you.

So I had done one and it was pretty enlightening that I've metabolized opiates twice the normal average of any American. So that kind of made me understand why it's such a tolerance. But what ethnicity are you? I'm Italian and then Polish. And 23andMe says I'm Sub-Saharan African and Oskar's only Jew. So I have no idea what I am. Wow.

A black Jew, Italian, Polish. Yeah, but it said 23andMe didn't say I was Italian at all. Oh. Yeah, I'm looking for a redo. Oh, shit, 23andMe said you're a black Jew. Yeah, just that. It's a Jew with a giant cock. I was pretty let down.

My boys have not let me let this down. So good. My kids are half Ashkenazi and half armenian that also gets you a giant cock and a giant brain it's a good it's a good they got lucky i was i was thinking about let my kids listen to this but we've established this right to dvd um okay so you so then you you you're on this run and – sorry, you told me the date. Was it – you got sober on July 25th, 2021? Yeah.

Okay. And when does – so you're just completely just treating your body like shit. Do you stop training then too? Oh, absolutely. Yeah, okay. Okay. Yeah. And do you start putting on weight or lose weight?

No, no, no. I lost a ton of weight when I was using. I mean, I pretty much pulled an all-nighter all of 2020 and 21. I mean, 24 hours, you know, two or three days. But I would always stay up, fall asleep for like a day, and then you stay back up. You know, it was the sleep. It's crazy how good you look. That must be the black gene.

The black don't crack. I mean, yeah. I mean, you look great you i mean you still look 38 i had a little hospitalization i got some some rest not you know sleep too much in the hospital but um yeah i bounced back you know from this clover they said i'm like literally six months ahead of schedule so okay so so so july what, what happens on July 21st, 2021, that makes you go to rehab the next day? Um, it's, that's a bad, it was a bad couple of days leading up to that. But, um,

that girl that I just told you passed away, I had gotten, tried to get her some help, got her under treatment. And then keep in mind, I'm loaded at the time. But I got into a pretty bad altercation. Physical. Yeah. And that led, police got called. I took off. And it just, I think, honestly, I felt it.

I knew I had this impending doom going on. Yeah. Everything was coming to a head. Yeah. And the biggest thing that- Were you ever running out of money or the businesses failing? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Okay. It was a crime scene. It was an absolute crime scene. Nothing was working. Nothing. I'm getting stressed out listening to it. I want you to know, literally, it's like so fucking stressful for me to hear that.

Well, this is the thing. My escape, and this has happened to me on this last run and the run I had years ago going into jail. My escape stopped working. I couldn't get high. Yeah. So I'm using all this meth, i'm just getting like the bad side effects from it my tolerance is through the roof i mean i'm the guy that's literally shooting up meth smoking meth eating a sandwich i'm the guy that literally smokes meth and takes a nap

yeah i remember doing meth in college and it was like hey let's get naked and climb on the roof and have an oil that fall into that two week period. That was a small window. Yeah. And so, yeah, that, and that's actually why I stopped too. After like, that was just like the first 30 days. And then I noticed that people were like doing it, like not at night anymore. They were like doing it during the day. And when they woke up and I was like, all right, I'm not hanging with these people anymore. Yeah, you're right. There's times in my life where I'm like, I'm not going to do any drugs until nighttime. You know what I mean?

Yeah, the nighttime rule. Yeah, I'm already so far gone. Okay, so you check yourself in, and you know that there's this thing COVID out there when you check yourself in. Yeah. People are talking about it. Oh yeah. It's 2021 at this point. I mean,

we've been, are you embarrassed? Like, are you embarrassed? Like that? All your employees know that like the fucking King fucking I'm clean. Fucking. Yeah.

You know what? That's what kept me away too, was all that ego. Like not wanting to check in. Yeah. I mean, all that ego of, of not wanting anyone to know. And you know, I mean, all that ego of not wanting anyone to know.

And, you know, I mean, so many. Listen, when everyone started fact-checking, oh, you know, I heard you hung out with Paul the other day. Oh, I heard you hung out with Paul. I haven't seen Paul in a year. When that shit started happening, I was like, I mean, like I said, wheels are coming off. I got no other options. I've even been in an altercation, not talking to family. I got kids, you know, back at home.

It's just, it's bad. It's just bad. House got raided again. I mean, you name it. It's just all falling apart. So I called my buddy and, you know, he showed up for me. And obviously when he got there, I had a whole new plan. I'm like, ah, maybe we won't do this.

Oh, shit. Yeah. It's three in the morning. I'm like, you know what? I don't know. Hey, I was out of my mind when I called you and told you I wanted to go to rehab. I wasn't in the right space. I'm like, I'm going to head to the bathroom.

But, you know, and he, he was, he had been chasing me around for about a year. So I think it just was time. And I ended up going in. So I put a fight up. I put a fight up for about six hours in the driveway. It was just continuously. He sat with 911 and then Narcan in his hand just waiting for me to go down. I wouldn't go down.

But, yeah, sun was coming up, and I finally walked in there. Super freeing experience. I must say at this point I'd caused so much wreckage. A lot of stuff I needed to address was already out there. You know, I had a huge, what does it say? I had a huge group of people that put all my business out there. So I just was like, fuck it.

Oh, no shit. So there were people who were pissed at you and trying to bury you at that point. Oh, yeah. Hey, did you know Sarah then? Yeah. And she's a good friend. Yeah, I was out of my mind at that point. Do people who do drugs have

good friends absolutely they do right yeah absolutely i mean you know at the end of the day my parents have stuck by me through this my ex you know she she was always uh somewhere by my side and um i have friends like sarah and and my buddy Del but I had this girl say it again that's about it I just named him but yeah four or five friends that were how about the guy that got you into rehab are you still friends with him

yeah I had this lady on the other day she's a remarkable human being she weighed like 500 pounds and she lost 200 pounds. So now she's down to 300. Her name is Athena Perez. And one of the things I found fascinating about her story is her life's just full of assholes. Just, I mean, just fucking full of just shit bags.

And the only people who were cool was the drug crowd she hung out with. And you know, that just can't be long lived. But those people were the cool people you know what i mean they don't judge you they're cool to you oh that's like the drug the drug crowd doesn't give a fuck they're just good people like black white like i don't know what they don't give a fuck but we don't judge you know yeah yeah yeah yeah hey he wants to next me to shoot up i don't give a fuck what you are come sit down yeah there's no. When you're running and gunning, you know what I mean? Democrat, Republican, Nazi, just pull up a needle

in a couch. Yep, that's it. Everyone kind of commingles. Yeah. And she even said that. Yeah, that was the coolest. Those were the nicest people in my life to me. She's got a powerful name. That's my mom's name. Athena Perez? Not name. That's my mom's name.

Athena Perez. Not Perez. Athena. Athena. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Powerful name.

Yeah. Athena. Um, so, so you go in and when does this, um, how long are you in there? And, and,

and walk me up to when this whole COVID thing, how much do you weigh when you go in there? I'm about, uh, 200. And you're what? Five, 10, five, nine, five, nine. And okay. So you're already, you're big. That's a big deal. Yeah. I mean, but I've always, I've always been this way. Pretty, pretty stocky. Okay. And, um, and you're not um and you're not in you're not you're

not smoking like crazy at this point you because you're into other drugs you're not when i you just said when i went in right when i went into detox i'm smoking like crazy okay nicotine the whole thing okay nicotine launches and then and then how long are you in there and when does your path first cross with covid when do you get covid um so this july i'm gonna stay there about 45 40 days okay and then like till september october yeah okay and then i'll go stay with a buddy i'll go stay with my buddy dale and then um i'm with him for a couple months. And so basically that's, you know, September, start working and stuff, getting back into work. And then first of the year, I end up, so obviously New Year's resolution, get back into jiu-jitsu.

I'm training twice a day. Oh, shit. Okay. I'm liking this. So now we're January 2022. Yeah, I'm training twice today i mean i was trained i was actually trained in december did you have the vaccine yet no no vaccine no vaccine okay no vaccine so i'm training why not trying to stay away from drugs you know no i'll be honest

just because they told me i had to get it right fuck you i ain't doing that you know i mean if you're gonna say i gotta do it i ain't doing okay. You know what I mean? If you're going to say I got to do it, I ain't doing it. Okay, good. That's kind of – it's a good look when you're a kid, not a good look when you're 38, by the way. But, yeah, so I trained in December. Started training twice a day, first of the year. Uh-huh.

And I'm feeling – I'm feeling real – like, I remember, I'm having these crazy sparring sessions, and I get into the park. I leave the mat, class is over, get to my car, and I fall right asleep. So I fell asleep for like an hour. And then the next day, the same thing happens. But I'm feeling really sore. I must be just sweating it out. This is how you feel when you train twice to do jiu-jitsu. You go home feeling pretty. Yeah. I must be just sweating it out. This is, you know, this is how you feel when you train twice to do jiu-jitsu, you know.

Yeah. You go home feeling pretty. Yeah. And I'm at the office where I'm at now, and I'm talking to Sarah, and I just sit here, and I can't stop sweating. Just profusely sweating. I'm like, fuck, something's up. But I still go back to the gym, and I train for three more days twice a day. Yeah.

I think last week I was sweating like a pig, too. I think covid like so bad last week oh god it was bad and i'll explain what i learned a lot of the sweating was from but um so then i go home and i try to fight it from home i'm like all right i'm man down you know night quill day quill fucking that's what i did i put on jackets and wool socks. But you're still vaping like a mofo. Disrespecting the vape. Not even breathing. You're at the point where you don't even... I'm breathing smoke.

Air second. It's real, people. It's real. Those things are so crazy. They allow you to smoke everywhere and the smoke is so thick and it tastes so good and it billows and it's just yeah i my buddy i was saying was when i got a detox he's like i'm taking you to church i'm like all right i'm just gonna go along i'm the guy vaping in church you know i mean awesome yeah anywhere i can go anyways

so yeah after you know, beginning of January, train for about three days straight, two days, go down like a Mack truck. And that night. Mid-January, 2022. Yeah. This is like January 5th. It was a couple of days after my son's birthday. And I got a 105.6 temperature.

Sounds good. No one even believes it. You know what I mean? So I call a couple friends over hold on time out time out sorry caleb how bad is that 105.6 you're you're verging on death like brain death at that point damn yeah they had asked me have i had any seizures and and this is the thing i was freezing cold yeah yeah so i mean i red, like a fucking strawberry. I got a jacket on and I'm fighting this thing. A couple of friends come by. They couldn't believe when they see the thermometer,

they bring their own thermometer, Sean, like I'm 105.1. Did you have to shelve the thermometer for? No, no, no, no, no. So then I called my friend who does my IVs and she's like, oh, I got ivermectin. I'm like, just bring everything. Yeah. So you hang out with quacks like me who are like, yeah, ivermectin cures all. Well, the point is, I know a lot of people that have had COVID and use ivermectin, but

if you catch it at the beginning, and this is what my doctors had told me, they said, yeah, it could work. Problem was, is everything that you were saying, I had just beat my body up for three years i'm working out every day i'm probably over training myself at that time vaping like a madman i just was the perfect host for covid you know and uh and were you eating a lot of sugar oh yeah i'm a big i got a sweet tooth like do you drink soda do you drink soda pop uh no i drink if i do it's either diet coke or sparkling water but i do like sugar chocolate okay yeah so um at night do you do it at night oh yeah oh yeah big night guy and then um yeah so try to fight it

from the house and then i just keep getting worse this problem was, is I keep sweating profusely. Well, what I learned through the process is that was the pneumonia that I had. So same partner came to check on me. He comes down and he's knocking on my door and he's going to take me to go get the, what's the IV for COVID? I don't know. I don't know. But, but some sort of like fluid they pump it yeah yeah but it was the one that helped cure it or you know early signs like a vitamin b

drip no no no it was like they started with an m hold on let's bring in caleb caleb's starts that m you said yeah monoclonal antibodies my man bam damn cam i ever do a game show caleb i need you yeah so i go to do that and the lady puts my finger a little oxygen thing and i guess my oxygen was at like 60 and she goes you need to go right to the er. You can't have this done. And I was like, okay. So I go back outside, tell my buddy. I'm like, she said, go to the ER.

Boom. Head to the ER. Hey, when you breathe, were you gurgling or anything? No, no, no. So I was breathing very shallow. Super, super shallow. And then I get to the hospital. They run a test um immediately take

me in and i was at 60 i'd gotten all the way down to 40 damn and i mean i was taking a breath like and i i was hitting that nurse's button i couldn't get comfortable couldn't stop sweating um that when i got down to 40 i had lost consciousness oh and uh so i woke up and you dropped your vape out of your hand yeah i lost the vape in that room i did lose the vape in that room and um i had uh i woke up in the critical care unit and um my family was on the outside of the glass, and I saw the doctor pacing, and they only let two nurses in, and the doctor's looking at me,

and they came in. They gave me like 48 hours to live. They had done this chest x-ray. It's called whiteout, and it's basically, it's a chest x-ray. You couldn't see any of my ribs. So the amount of fluid, scar tissue, all that buildup and, you know, everything that we saw over, you know, at this time, I guess the, you know, 18 months of the whole COVID. Yeah. So this is one thing that I

learned. Exactly. That's the whiteout. And I actually had double lung pneumonia. So when people have pneumonia, the doctor had told me typically pneumonia is one lung. I had pneumonia in both of my lungs. So that's what made the case so serious. Is that why those pictures look like that, Kalen? Yeah. Kind of matching what he's saying? them yeah this kind of matching what he's saying yeah so the one on the left is it like a clear lung and the one on the right would be like a like one with pneumonia it has so much like just mucus and fluid and correct it can't clear itself up yep hey look at that one in the way go back to that look at that one in the middle uh on the top see that one in the middle on the top to the right a little bit. One more. Yeah, that one's got a cock in it. You see it? Porn body.

That one has pneumonia and a cock in there. Okay. So, yeah, so I had the double lung pneumonia. You know, to be honest, what I came and I learned all this after a coma was they were able to get rid of the COVID in, in about three weeks. What kept me hospitalized, what put me in the coma on, on life support was the pneumonia, you know, having pneumonia in my both lungs. So they tell you, do they tell you, you have 48 hours to live? Yeah. And the only way that I'm going to make it is the two things that you heard on the, on the news during this whole COVID craze was they needed to intubate and yeah you know and do the tracheotomy so it was where

you like fuck you that kills people it's exactly what i said well first i was like well where's the second opinion you know i mean yeah and i was completely i i wanted i think i wanted to shock i became extremely nervous because i didn't want to get put to sleep. I didn't want to be trached, you know, and I just kept, kept saying that. And, um, you know, what I learned after the fact was I find this extremely interesting was, uh, the doctor had gone to my parents and asked my parents, like, you know, does your son have any reason to live? My parents are like,

what kind of question is that? You know? And they're like, well, is he depressed? So basically, you know, does your son have any reason to live? My parents are like, what kind of question is that? You know? And they're like, well, is he depressed? So basically, you know, I think really what was in my favor was my age. I was 38. And because they didn't basically, him asking those questions was. That's a fucking crazy question. Is that science? Well, question is that science is that part of it's called that part of the cdc guidelines one i don't take their temperature rectally to ask them if they have a reason to live what the fuck well basically what came out

of it was if you were 50 years old and had my symptoms, they wouldn't have made the effort into saving. You aren't going to get trached. There was a gentleman that was next door to me. And basically we had all the same symptoms. That's why they say being overweight's a real big thing with COVID. Because if you carry a lot of visceral fat, your lungs don't have the chance to fully develop or grow. Yeah, exactly.

So that was a huge issue with people being overweight with COVID. Yeah, he's got four kids, you jackass. Of course he has a reason. He's got kids. He's got a reason. They're like, we'll go in and we'll do this procedure. I mean, they were looking for a reason to say

no. Actually, no, he doesn't have any reason. Actually, he has three thousand dollars in his account let him die we want his money was that like a resources thing absolutely okay yeah absolutely and i was in the whole quarantine unit and um i mean i i every day someone died you know and they just got in march right about the tail end of my stay, it got so bad. You see those alarms going off. You see them running down the hall.

One of the nurses said, the gentleman just expired. I'm like, holy fuck. Hey, why did they put on – you had a Band-Aid down here on your tummy too. Why did you have one down there when I saw you? That was for my feeding tube. That was the G2. So they ended up putting you – so you were in there for two days conscious and then they put you under? Yeah. It was about five days conscious and then I went under.

And how long did they keep you under? 30 days. So for 30 days, you were just unconscious? Yeah. It's been, that's probably been outside of what the COVID pneumonia did to my body. That's probably been outside of what the COVID pneumonia did to my body. The actual psychosis of I suffered from one of the worst cases of hospital delirium. What's that? I don't even know what that is.

So basically, while you're in a coma, you just have all these extremely morbid. But I mean, they were so vivid that when I came out, well, one, when I came out of the coma, I couldn't talk because I got, you know, I've been trached. Two, you know, my parents were by my bedside every day. And I mean, every single day. Hallucinations. You had hallucinations? Oh, my God. If I took a nap in the middle of the day. Yeah. When I woke up, I always thought I was at my house or my parents' house or someone else's house. I thought like the whole nursing staff got moved to the house.

Wow. I kicked the nurse in the chest. I hit another one. So I woke up in like four point restraints. But they were actually pretty cool about it because they knew it was the drugs, you know, they know I wasn't like trying to they know it's not personal yeah yeah and what kind of do you remember any of your hallucinations oh yeah i remember all of them i still think about them all the time oh like dreams that were so vivid like it fucked with your brain it's like when you're like you see when i see native americans walking in your backyard no no it was all built around my parents my family my kid i

thought my whole family got murdered so i'm looking at my parents and then i mean i'm so out to lunch like so far gone that my family's even having a hard time telling me the truth so this is like kind of now i'm like all right well they haven't said this hasn't happened you know so then they just end up uh over medicating the absolute shit out of me so it's like this is where i start taking a decline in my health but yeah it's um it was it's bad you know it was really bad um i i had this uh i knew this girl in college and she would have these vivid dreams that like her boyfriend was cheating on her and i remember like that was the first time like i became aware of something like that like and then she would struggle with the fact of not

of like telling the difference between her dreams and what happened in reality and i was like fuck that's intense i've only had a handful of dreams that vivid in life well everything that i had was something that actually happened to me so one keep in mind it just got a hole in my throat right like a tube in there right so there was a huge basis of the delirium i'm having where i feel like i'm being choked yeah yeah you know and i have it all wrapped up in some massive story that i'm fighting to stay alive you know yeah and then i thought i got stabbed well the stabbing is what it was the g2 so i'm coming out of the coma i'm trying to tell the

nurse i'm like i've been stabbed you know i'm showing it i don't even know what the fuck it looks like right right yeah because i can't move my head i got this fucking thing you know and then not to get graphic i thought i thought my shit got cut off my dong but i had a catheter in there you know it was everything that was actually happening too bad you didn't have like some great story like you were getting like a 17 day blow job for with that one dude i got it was so morbid and dark there was no good yeah i'm sorry it was all super super dark yeah okay so then you come out of that after you have to pee no okay good uh so because i've had you on a long time. I peed before we got on. Good dude. So then you, you, you five days in, then a 30 days of coma. And then what happens when you come out of coma?

Are you better? And like there, you can go home. No, no. Why did they pull you out of coma? Well, what was happening was I was able to sign power of attorney over to my mom while i was was in there and my family was making a lot of the health they were i was hours being away from being put on dialysis what happened was they gave me the contrast and then they had given me contrast again during the whole ct scan that started to shut down my kidneys kidneys started to fail liver started to fail what's contrast what is that

what's that contrast what they give you to show like when it goes through your veins where the areas are it's just like it lights up all the little veins and vessels in your body when you like put it on a scanner and and why was it shutting down because you've been in coma for so long or because well because they gave me back to back it was just the amounts was just too strong for my body because i wasn't allergic to it. The amount of what? Contrast. It's like an IV.

They put it in your veins and then it runs through your body. Correct. If you get too much, it can. Yeah, they gave me they had given me some and then they gave me some the next day to run another test. Kidneys start to fail. They're about to hurt you. So they hurt you. The thing that was supposed to let them like see you check your health actually fucking almost killed you well i mean

to be fair i think the whole situation these guys were doing whatever they could to figure it out you know because i i'm in a coma you better defend them i'm always looking for a reason to hate you know i'm getting worse you know i mean it's also like a history of like just what you've put into your body too so if you have i mean if you're putting the shitload of stuff in your body, your kidneys have to filter all that out. So just past conditions isn't going to help either. I mean, you guys got to remember three years of smoking mouth, smoking crack heroin. I mean, I'm holding smoke in.

I'm not even breathing it out. I'm doing all this shit I shouldn't supposed to be doing. It was a recipe for, know a nightmare but yeah so they give me the contrast it's shutting down the kidneys my liver started to fail heart started to fail i had a grand mal seizure while i was in there um you know it was just uh every day was something new was popping up and you know at this point it's just a battle for my life you know covet now is an afterthought so so after 30 days they bring you out and and and are you just fucked up you're not any better oh can't talk don't remember too much don't even know i i thought what was it i thought it was 2000 and

you live some freddy krueger 30-day nightmare too yeah i thought it was 2006 oh i thought a fucking bill clinton or obama was in office i had no oh that's the worst i'm so sorry yeah i had no idea what was going on and then you know they just they keep you comfortable remember dr street symptoms you know so they just can't you know paul's talking too crazy light him up and so the next and you spent another 50 days in there after that on and coming in and out of consciousness yeah um i would say the next month was real bad you know in and out of consciousness you think that's the longest you've ever gone without ejaculating no oh that's a long jail jail you know i mean 80 days

my buddy's like i'm celibate i'm like i've had three years of celibacy before you know i mean wow yeah wow um i would spontaneously fucking combust i was just happy that i actually had a dong i thought i got cut off in the whole process so i i yeah i agree with that too yeah it's a it's that being, it's funny. I thought about that too. Cause you know, like when you're like really sick for a week,

that thing will just shrivel up and be like, Hey, don't pay any attention to me, but you were sick for fucking 80 days. It was probably like, it probably had like a stick with one of those red things on it and thinking about just running away from home. Just that was a description.

You know what I mean? Like when the, when the kid runs away from home, he's got the stick. You look down at your dick and he's like, I'm out of here. You don't need me anymore. You know,

I gotta say that whole hospital experience was just from them trying to help me do everything. And fuck, I mean, I'm, I'm pretty, pretty alpha. You know,

they'll help you go in the bathroom. I'm like, get the fuck away from me. Like I, you know, but I had, I had to learn how to walk again. Okay. I had to learn how to talk. I mean, I had to learn how to write. I had a fucking lobster claw for a hand for a little bit.

Couldn't even hold a pen. That's from the vaccine. Yeah. My parents got me. No, I'll tell you about that. My parents got me the whiteboard. I couldn't even write it. It was, it was brutal, brutal. Hey, so, so as you're getting close to your release, what makes them think they can release you? Is there a point in there where they're like,

Oh shit, this motherfucker is going to live. Yeah, there was, um, I'd say going into going into March, like, you know,

right, right at the beginning, I started having some leaps and bounds. They were talking about me having the trach permanently. Then all of a sudden, I was able to wean myself on oxygen from 10 to 8. Then four days later, 8 to 6. These things were big. They put an oximeter on you and they see, oh, he doesn't need as much.

He's doing good. Correct. I had one on me the whole time worst thing you guys one of the worst things we're talking like 84 days without a shower oh they didn't even bed bath you okay that bed bathing thing i want taken to the cdc yeah just move this shit around yeah oh for sure i was sure you get your bacteria yeah I was a predatory bacteria. They're like, time for your sponge bath. And I'm like, you guys are just fucking.

Hey, is there ever like a priest or anyone who comes in or like a fucking to the temple? Like they said, the Jew with the doilies comes in is like audio is mofo. You had that? So there's a crazy part of the story so my parents were bedside i'm in the coma i think maybe i'd just been out no i mean it was under my parents went to you know they're there all day they go to get something

they come back and there's a priest in my room and i'm not there oh shit oh shit my mom collapses and uh and this is all you you know, stories from her. Turns out this priest, though, is this guy, John. He's a sober guy himself. Yeah. So me and this dude just hit it off. But, yeah, you see a priest in the hospital. It's not a good look.

Where were you? Where were you? I was at Hope. Newport Beach. No, no, no. Oh, where they moved me to? Yeah. Another critical care unit. Oh, where they moved me to? Yeah. Another critical care unit.

Oh, okay, okay. Yeah. Okay. But they didn't give the heads up. Fuck. And what was he there? Why was he there? Yeah, through the process of being sober,

he became a chaplain, and that was kind of his little side. He knew you were there, so he came in to check you out? Yeah, he was a solid Yeah. It was solid, dude. Just a real, I mean, the guy looked like a priest, but then he'd sit there and talk to me about smoking fentanyl and banging

hookers. I was like, man, this is the man. Hey, God knows everything. Um, uh,

there should be a rule about that. Which part? Just like going to your priest. Like you can't wear your shit in the hospital like it just scares people you know oh yeah you might as well give him a fucking sickle and horns regular clothes i yes you know you just gave me the idea you should be in tearaways like like the lakers and have a little chaplain suit under it you know what i mean but i want him in regular clothes yeah and then he could tear away and get his prey on.

Yes, yes. Button down pants. There you go. Oh, that would be so good. The Michael Jordan priest tear away. Just walking around in warmups and then someone's going to expire. Then he gets tear up.

It's all neck and neck on. I think I just coughed up a chunk of pneumonia okay so so then you start to get better and at some point they're like yo get the fuck out yeah well one i mean i had racked up you know about a 1.6 million dollar covid tab wow oh yeah you saw that on a piece of paper your hospital bill oh you know what the one beautiful part about the healthcare system is they don't, they don't let you forget, you know, registration would come by and they'd be like, all right, Paul, we need you to sign this. And what insurance did you have?

Um, so I had no insurance going in. And then I had, uh, got, um, Cal Optima. And Cal Optima was the right one for that hospital. Oh, very interesting. So this was in the United States of America? And you went in there and you didn't have insurance? No, no, no, no. Just these fucking douchebags in the fucking comments on YouTube.

I tried to explain to them about the United States. They save motherfuckers here. Like all you people who think you live in Canada or Europe and your shit's free. First of all, your shit's not free. Secondly, shit's all fucked up and they give you the illusion that it's free. I'm telling you, motherfuckers can go into hospitals and get fixed here.

Oh, 100%. And what's not Obamacare, that's actually what made poor people have to pay. You jerk-offs. Trying to tell me in the comments oh you don't know that's just emergency room shit hey i can't believe it's even better than i thought you were able to get insurance while you were dying that's fucking this country i love fucking america oh yeah yeah i mean there's a loophole i don't even know if she was saying this but you can go into the er

right now go to the er and then you qualify for insurance. Yeah. Thank you. No problem. I am not. It's just these tools try to argue with me in the YouTube comments like they know I'm a cardiac cardiologist, pediatric cardiologist. I don't know what you're talking about. Of course you don't know what I'm talking about.

Your fucking oncologist has been barking up the wrong tree for 30 years. You fucking knucklehead. By the way, thank you for helping. Most physicians are terrible businessmen. Thank you for also trying to to help children i don't mean to shit on you i mean but i do you read me read uh travis christopherson's uh tripping over the truth if you're a doctor uh an oncologist or cardiologist or any of that shit okay uh okay where am i with my covid okay so so fascinating so so so you get out of the, so, so they. Well, one thing that you touched on that I haven't explained was they had my, so I have

basically a specialist at this time for everything. Pulmonary, cardiologists, infectious disease. I mean, you name it. And they're all like, you need to get vaccinated. And I'm like, oh, but at this point,, I mean, these people have checked on me every day. I'm like, let's run it. Yeah, yeah. Yes, go grab it.

I don't want to think about it. They hit me with the Moderna. I hope my brakes don't get cut after I say this. Southern California is the hive of quackadoodles, if you don't know. Like all the shit I talk about, Canada, Europe, Australia,

I'm telling you the craziest motherfuckers ever in Southern California, except for a couple sweet spots. And one of them is Newport, California. But other than that, it's fucking zombie land. It's complete. I'm afraid of my own shadow world.

Yeah. It's just pussyville. It's crazy. But yeah, crazy town, banana pants thank you mr wayne thank you but but he does live in this place where it's kind of like this this like haven of like okay people who work out and take personal accountability and they're not scared to death of their own shadow okay sorry go on so the yeah just made it when i'm about to explain

this modern i think of michael clay in that movie i haven't i haven't seen that is it good oh bro okay yeah it's a good one george clooney's in it basically he's trying to expose and then the the big companies hire guys to cut the brakes and whack them so oh okay if i die in the next couple days we know moderna but anyways um yeah so i got that, and I got so fucking sick. I mean, for the next 48 hours, it got so bad that I couldn't hold anything to drink. Can you imagine the negligence of giving someone that in your situation? I mean, it is fucking negligence. That's like you don't give someone the vaccine when they're fucking dealing with a fucking massive—

Well, this was the—I don't want to say controversy but this is what you know we're trying to figure out one my body's been through fucking hell you know i mean they're saying if i if you know if i get the flu this could be not good for me did anyone tell you not to eat sugar no no fascinating but i first line of defense does not work if you eat sugar that's it i'm saying it and so and so if you want nk cells and t cells and your natural immunity to do their job you have to stop eating sugar they can't do their job for two reasons your leptin receptors get all fucked up and that's in it and uh in your fucking bloodstreams a traffic jam with insulin and fucking leptin and anyone can go fucking look that up anyway sorry go on they need to i just can't believe they tell you that no one tells you you have to stop eating sugar

in the hospital it's fucking nuts and honestly no one says it anywhere anyway no one says anyway you got to go on youtube and you're a 12 year old you in there you know what say that again amount of juice they provide because with the trach you guys got to remember, I had a drink like this, like glycolic stuff that it was a swallow test. So they started me on like a baby food diet. I give my wife that test all the time, by the way. Seven, seven, seven. I'm waiting for the shoe to come right out of the side of the screen right now. Okay.

So I can't believe you said that about my wife. I can't believe you said about my wife, Paul, I thought we were friends. Yeah. So it was liquid, then baby food and soft. These are just all pureed foods.

And yeah, the worst, the worst thing for you, by the way, like if you're not like juices, the worst, the worst thing for you, by the way, like if you're not like juice is the absolute. I mean, they might as well just put fucking Coke and a fucking cotton candy in your hand. It's fucking nuts. Okay.

So then they give you either. I think cocaine might have been better than Coca-Cola for your situation. So, so they give you the Moderna and you're fucked up for two days. Just wrecked. I mean mean i can't stop shaking i think i'm going through i'm not lying to you 50 towels a day just sweating profusely through them and they're just the nurses like it's gonna pass it's gonna pass you know because everyone said the two to five days the people that had been affected by the the vaccine and And then it was, it was the fourth day. I was like,

oh my God, to this day. I mean, I still have like, I wash my body. I'm numb in the shoulder from it, but yeah, I've been,

so you had some, you had some neurological shit occur. Oh, it was still. So, and I mean, you know, I understand that affects everyone different,

but I mean, they had me. They basically said if I was around anyone and I got COVID again, it wouldn't be in my favor. I was like, fuck it, let's do it, which was confusing. Do I have the antibodies now to fight it? Because I had Delta and I had Omicron.

I had two types of COVID. Oh, lucky you. Like I said, they were able to eradicate that. At the same time in there, they gave you a pap smear and you had both of them? Crazy. I know medical lingo. I know medical lingo.

Yeah, I passed on the pap smear, but I did come back for those two. I didn't even know you could have both at the same time. Yeah, I had two forms. Fucking threesome. Check the viral count. But now I just, you know, anybody that's sick, my kids are sick, anything, I just give them distance. So you get out of the hospital and you're like, holy shit, I'm going to get a second chance at this. Get out of the hospital.

I go to stay with the family. I'm going to get a second chance at this. Get out of the hospital. I go to stay with the family. And, you know, it takes me 10 minutes to walk, you know, four feet. I had more tape and plastic on my body because covering the G-tube in my neck, trying to shower in the shower with the oxygen. And I'm on full oxygen 24-7.

So I have not been off.'m at at home on oxygen 24 7 not anymore no no no i recently just got off hey um so so you're you're back in aa are you like i know one of the steps like you gotta like uh like go say sorry to people are there people now you're like dude do you know that from seinfeld no my sister did that okay that's the one step everybody knows step nine everyone's like all right no no but you know what's funny too is my sister came i was away at college and she came to do amends to me and then like five years later i was like hey how come you never did amends to me you know just like busting her chops and she's like what are you talking about i came in i came to your school and i hung out with you for a week doesn't it i'm

like well you never just like walked up and sat me down like and was like yo i'm fucking sorry she's like no it's not like that well hey yeah is your sis watching maybe yeah she's my best she's like one of my sister believes in me so much she's like my biggest supporter her my mom my wife yeah she's great she's 20 years sober 25 or something she takes that shit seriously as a heart attack yeah her i think her drug was mostly alcohol she started a lot of bar fights she was hot listen i mean she's still pretty she's like old and pretty still alcohol super super dangerous because you're at such a high risk of seizure. Alcohol? Oh, yeah.

Alcohol detox is super, super dangerous. Listen, as any opiate addict, okay? Yeah. I don't know if you've seen Pineapple Express or anything, but like you feel like you're going to die. You think you're going to die. Yeah. But you're not going to die. But you don't, you know, everyone around you is believing what you're not gonna die but you don't you know you're you everyone around you just believe in what you're selling alcohol yeah you can seize out and just not not you know

you have stroke or heart attack that and benzos are the most dangerous to come off of what are benzos like xanax valium colonopin so jordan peterson was on yeah i call those the the housewife cocktail. You know what I mean? Some Xanax, you know, some Adderall. That's what the housewife's like. I never have done Adderall. You seem like you would have.

What are you laughing at, Caleb? Constantly wired. You're an intense dude. You know what I mean? I used to run a home for developmentally disabled adults and i think we used to give them klonopin is that like supposed to knock you out yeah klonopin it will yeah i think we called it a like a prescribed it was called a pn or a pr prescribed as you're right that's that's yeah like if they were being violent

yeah sometimes i i sometimes i would not very often but sometimes i'd pop them just like just to you know just to see what they're what it was like but you'd pop the pills or pop the clients no pop the pills no i know i was gonna say well this is taking clients i can see myself in front of the grand jury did he ask you no i was so good to those people fucking man oh i got a wild story about tell me tell me so my good buddy that i met in rehab back in 2010 he worked with that demographic disabled adolescent mentally mentally disabled yeah like autism and not sure yeah so he was working for this place out in like Covina and he ended up relapsing.

And then one day he calls me, Frank, Paul, I need your help. I need your help. He's like, I got myself in a gym and I'm like, Jake, where are you at? And he's like, I'm downtown LA. He's like, hold on. And then you just hear him like hold the phone. He's like, shut the fuck up. Shut the, I'm gonna go, who are you yelling you yelling at he's like i'm trying to pick up he had taken the entire house of kids down to skid row oh to get drugs he's got the kids in the car one wants to eat yeah yeah louis louis was his guy louis had like the retard strength and louis was about to lose his shit on him yes if i come back there louis about to open the door go on the run i'm

i'm at a loss i've been involved in some shady stuff yeah you took all the kids to skid row he's like the guy won't give it to me i don't have exact change can you come down here i'm like jake you gotta get out so yeah my homeboy took the whole house of kids down to skid row to score the yellow bus wow that's hardcore hey addiction's real oh testify yeah um every every person who ever smoked the jewel has just like a drawer full of like um empty cartridges just in case you're ever in a pinch you can just start plugging in fucking empty cartridges like hoping to get a hit what's the worst thing ever is you're smoking those things you're stuck in traffic and it starts flashing batteries dead i'm on full

suicide watch the car door and roll out i would when i would and i only fucked with it for a couple months but but traveling like if i was going somewhere i'd have to have like cartridge for every day don't make the mistake of hitting the vape on an airplane why what happened pressure oh it shoots the oil right out oh wow oh i did that yeah all of a sudden you take the rip and all the oil's squirting in your mouth and you die from a fucking massive dose of nicotine if you swallowed one of those cartridges or if you bit it open and that nicotine went in you i think you have a fucking heart attack well most of these vapes and i've seen it firsthand this stuff's being made in someone's bathtub they're using a broomstick to stir it oh fuck you know i mean you know when my dad first came to this country he worked in one of those uh he came from lebanon

and he was a young man like 20 and he worked in one of these factories where they uh they make spices right so there's this big fucking huge vat and you stand on top of it with a wooden stick and like they're just grinding up cayenne pepper or something right and then it goes into you know the bottles and my dad would tell me like his shoe would fall off or he dropped his stick in there and it would just get ground up and yeah someone's buying us fucking spices and uh and safeway it's got my dad's shoe in there i know i'm gonna next time i look at someone i'm gonna be like holy cow um so what day was it that you got out of the hospital do you know um i think march 12th.

God, that's not that long ago. Yeah. And you don't sleep in there. I mean, they're pulling blood from you in the middle of the night. You're asleep every two hours. Blood pressure. Check the trach. You know, so it's like...

People moaning. People coming. People going. People dying. Mobile x-ray. Boom, come in. You know, it mobile x-ray boom come in you know it's a vitals monitors beeping every oh my god it's fucking crazy dude so i mean i came out of there just weeded tired but you know went to my parents house was able to sleep and i did exactly

you know this this was one of the first times in my adult life that i actually did everything i was directed to do they said you know you go home don't get back on the phone. Don't start working. Take two weeks to yourself. I took two weeks to myself. You know, I started doing the little walks, you know, to the front door, to the bathroom. Then the physical therapist came and walk, you know, around the building. I was just doing everything I can to get better. And I started to get better quickly. Look, look in the comments at these two guys. There's a guy who's always in the comments his name is dick butter and then there's this other guy his name is richard skipper what does that mean oh oh oh yeah and then there's this other guy named richard margarine so it's a

play on dick butter so this guy's name is dick butter and this guy's name is richard margarine and they're dude dude to her in the car and i just can't i always thought it was the same dude but now i'm seeing them like talking to each other and i'm thinking maybe it's not we got a duo here hey did anything ever exciting happen when you're in the hospital like a nurse came by and it was like hey i know you're gonna die paul so i'm gonna show you a set of tits for the last time and like show you a set of titties or something. There are some fucking gorgeous nurses. Nothing like that. No, no, no, like, God, no benevolence.

No, just fucking random acts of kindness. I'm like, get the fuck away from me. I wish you had at least one story like that. Like, have you ever heard Mike Tyson talk about when he's in prison and like he would fuck his psychiatrist? Yeah, I know that stuff happens. I mean, my's in prison and like he would fuck his psychiatrist? Yeah. I know that stuff happens. I mean,

my buddy did 23 years in lockup, you know? Wow. That's, that's, that's a story. I mean, that is,

was he guilty? What did he do? Did he do something wrong? I mean, it's not, not too many people in there are innocent. You know what I mean? Right.

I don't know. Well, I know. Uh, many people in there are innocent you know right i don't know well i know uh so you get out of there in march and it's march april may june you this is this is just like you're almost dead a few months ago correct now you're on the i was supposed to be like getting back on my feet and like august september man and and and when you got on when you did the blood work with california hormones was was there any talk about how it would affect your your your past because you know the one thing i did is i took it to all my doctors took my primary pulmonary i said you know they asked me why don't we wait a month you know i

mean like there's other things we're worried about right now let's not you know, they asked me, why don't we wait a month? You know what I mean? Like there's other things we're worried about right now. Let's not, you know, understand you probably feel like shit, but let's get these other things under wraps. So I did that and circled back. I showed them the labs and my primary. I was like, man, that's a really low test level. I was like, thanks, doc. You know, appreciate it.

How do you feel? How did you, before you did this, how do you feel like going up a flight of stairs? Prior to testosterone or prior to? Yeah, prior to testosterone. Like three weeks ago, how were you going up a flight of stairs? I got to be honest. I don't go up too many stairs.

Right. Do you ever get winded? Do you ever get winded or you feel like a normal man? No, no, no, no, no. I get winded. I get winded. Yeah, I get winded. Like those short walks to the door are difficult still?

A little? No, like carrying the laundry basket, carrying shit. You know what I mean? Okay, so that's just us. Yeah, they basically said like the last x-ray I had, I still showed scar tissue. So they said it's going to be, you know, just be patient. The rest of the year is going to be a little bit tough.

But yeah, we'll grind it up. Damn. This whole experience has given me an absolute lease on life. You know what I mean? I can't even imagine. It is. Say that again,

Caleb. Sorry. You're basically starting from zero. You're literally a baby at this point. A 38-year- baby that's it's crazy like you have to learn how to walk you learn how to speak like your lungs have to develop again I know you're saying this from a medical standpoint but if if if you had spoken to some of my exes or your family you know call me baby I'd be like all right I deal with it no but you're right um yeah no no no I mean um You're like, all right, I deal with it. No, but you're right.

Yeah, no, no, no. I mean, I was. I was, just with everything. So I think just slowing down the process, being okay with everything, and just even though I feel like I can do more, you know, I used to push myself so I'd have a mobile oxygen tank, and I'd push the walk a little bit further. I used to start seeing the stars. I'm like,'m gonna go out you know and my ox i had those pulse oximeter on my oxygen would go you know you want to be between somewhere for me wants to be above 88 you want to

be at like 92 to 95 really want to be close to 100 or 100 but um i would desat from this i would drop like into the 70s even lower from what from your little walk yeah from from the walks so i i would desat real i dropped like 30 points but my recovery was like 30 seconds stop just breathe you didn't need to sit down just breathe and it would fly back up that was the first sign where i was like the the doctor's like, okay, this is a really, really good sign. Are you still on like a nasal cannula? I have one. I'll be honest with you. So I still have the machine at my house.

I turn it on every night because I like the white noise. But I don't use the oxygen anymore. But like when you're walking and stuff, do you use it? No. I'm fully off oxygen. That's incredible. Yeah, I titrated myself down all the way at 10, all the way down to,

and then, um, then I started using it sparingly throughout the day and then I would wear it at night. And then I just recently kicked it off at night. How do you have an Apple watch? And do you use the oximeter on it? Yeah.

It's about two points off of a real pulse lux it's low uh two points low so it always says like 98 for you well that's assuming that i'm 100 savann i'm not no you're oh you're not is your baseline going to be significantly lower now i hovered 95 you know 95 is my number. No shit. Which is still normal. Yeah, that's still in the rain. My pops one day is, he goes out

and has some wine with my mom. We come back. The guy's 75 years old. Used to do Ironman triathlon. He's pumping in at 100. I'm sitting here fucking about to drop. I'll work out fucking like i'm on my deathbed and i'll hit it and it'll be 98 beast but it's always 98 that's why i asked you as much crack as me you know i mean that's what i'm going i never smoked any crack unfortunately

i'm kidding um yeah it's fascinating. I'm so curious how this TRT thing is going to work out for you. I've had good success with it in the past. I wonder if it's just going to be just like amazing for you. Well, being at, you know, 163, like an 80-year-old man, and the range we're looking to achieve with this, we'll do another blood draw here in about three weeks. Um,

we'll be nine to 1200. Okay. So that, so, okay. Yeah. Holy shit. Yeah.

Hey, could, could we have you on, on, on, on July 13th then? I got nothing going on. Let's go.

All right. Hey, um, when you wake up in the morning, what do you look – I cry. Do you? No, sometimes. No, I'm kidding. Like I wake up in the morning and there's some stuff that I really like doing. Like I like turning on the coffee machine.

I like looking at my boys. Yeah, I'm a big ritual guy. Yeah. When you wake up are you like are you excited to wake up are you like yeah i am not coffee i'm gonna see my kids i'm gonna like well you know i mean since we're in the in the tree with the nest uh they had put me on antidepressants when i was in the hospital and um i think i finally came to terms with you know i've been kind of chemically imbalanced my My whole family thinks I'm bipolar.

But, yeah, they've helped me tremendously. So that impending doom, that drive to just not be able to get out of bed or get started or just be, that indecisiveness has handcuffed me. And I don't have that anymore. So I'm up in the morning. I walk to go get coffee. Oh, that's awesome. Where do you go? Get Starbucks or something?

No, Newport Coffee Roasters. So when you were down there, hook a left, go all the way down to the pier? Yeah, yeah. No shit. There. That's your hood? That's my hood. Wow.

So just walk down the boardwalk, get coffee. I'll let the pier a little quick meditation and then go back into the crazy. Oh, that's awesome. And you got good friends. Yeah. I know a lot of people, but you know, you get a handful of friends at the end of the day that we can count on. Yeah.

Shit. Well, congratulations. What a a fucking story thanks for sharing it what a fucking story that is incredible thanks thanks only 38 god it's so good to have that under your under your belt like okay check did that yeah Yeah, it was an experience. But again, yeah, the... Will you ever relapse? Well, I mean, history has shown I have a bunch of times, but I'm in, listen, I've done all the control things. It's always been the drug. It's always been the drink. Now it's me.

You know what I mean? I can't do these things anymore, you know, because I know where it ends up. So I'm just... Do you ever not I mean? I can't, I can't do these things anymore, you know, because I know where it ends up. So, um, I'm just, do you ever not do it? Like I would never smoke a vape again because quitting was so hard.

Or like, I would never put a chew in my mouth because quitting was so hard. Like I think about that and I'm like, Ooh God, that was fucking. Yeah. That keeps you sober for a while. That will keep you sober.

The detox will keep you sober for a while, but that will need more than that. Yeah. I need a lot more than that. Yeah. You know, I pulled the pin on the grenade on my entire life. And to do that rebuild has been tough. I thought you relapsed when we had to reschedule.

I heard. I heard. The podcast on the third or fourth time, I was like, this Michael Cera. There was three reschedule. I heard. The podcast on the third or fourth time, I was like, this might call Sarah. There was three reschedules. There was no fourth. The eighth reschedule, I was like, holy shit. Sarah's like, Siobhan thinks you're loaded.

I was like, what the fuck? I was like, this fucking guy relapsed. Oh, shit. Listen, if I relapse, I'm the closest thing to Jason Bourne. I am gone. I am off. You can't fucking find me. I'm dumping cell phones. Yeah, the closest thing to Jason Bourne. I am gone. I am gone. You can't fucking find me. I'm dumping cell phones.

Yeah, the whole thing. Blessings, Paul. Thanks, Ken. Good luck to you. God, I hope not. Stay good, Paul. You deserve better now. Appreciate it, brother.

I wish you well. Love your kids. Comes first. Your kids comes first. Tommy, appreciate you. Much better than talking with the fighters. Love your kids. Your kids comes first. Tommy, appreciate you. Much better than talking with the fighters? That's real. Shut it. I had a UFC fighter on this morning.

He was so cool. Who'd you have? Jordan Leavitt. He's fighting Patty. Do you know Jordan? He used to fight in SoCal. He used to train down there. I lucked out. My group of friends I grew up with, I had like five friends in UFC at one time. But yeah, I'm very familiar with those guys in the sport.

I will partially agree with that gentleman's statement. One thing I hate the most about UFC is interviewing fighters right after they fought. They're punch drunk yeah my interviews I so as much as that guy's right I have to say the interview with you is a thousand times better but but just because of your story but

when I interview the fighters it's not like these fucking idiots who interview them like all the guys who I don't ask them their strategy in the same fucking 20 questions they've heard over and over I ask them if they've ever smelled fucking 20 questions they've heard over and over. I asked him if they've ever smelled asshole when they're in a, what's that called?

North, South, North, South. And they love talking about that. Fact that I knew that so quickly. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. All right, brother. Uh, we will, a great to have you be a part of the show. I really, um, I'm excited to talk to you once a month. Yeah, I'll check in with you guys.

Once a month for the next year. Yeah, and then we'll do July or any updates on how everything's going. Bitchin'. All right, dude. Take care, you guys. Thanks, Paul. Thank you. Have a good night, and we'll talk to you soon.

I'm coming down there in August for two weeks. I hope to hang, too. You'll see a lot of me. Okay, bitchin'. Later, guys. Be safe. All right. Bye. talk to you soon i'm coming down there in august for two weeks i hope to hang too you'll see a lot of me okay bitching later guys be safe all right bye how long you been holding that in no i've been i've been like i i couldn't even breathe to my nose anymore so i just started doing all the gross shit. Excuse me, guys. Sorry. So disgusting.

I mean, not for me. I like the taste of it. But for you guys. I really like him. Did I say bitchin'? I really like him. You always say bitchin'. I do?

Bitchin'. Yeah. It's like your thing. Did you like him? Yeah, absolutely. That was incredible. Yeah. I'm a hardcore heroin addict.

I've never met one that I didn't like. They're always cool. Yeah, I mean, this might sound weird, but he reminded me of Taylor Swift. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Taylor's cool as shit. A lot of parallels there was taylor fucking with heroin is that what he was doing i couldn't i don't remember which what he was what he was taking but but he was getting at it yeah that's incredible even my friends who were heroin users who were

stealing all my shit i always still just liked them they just be like nodding off on the couch you're a good dude i want to show you i want to show you one more video that actually really touches my heart it's on the um sevan rinsta account and it's it's a video i don't know i think lauren horvat posted it but for some reason not for some reason when i see siblings like hug each other i'm and show love for each other, it does something really emotional to me because I love seeing my boys be nice to each other. And they're always nice to each other. But I took this video. Look how happy Lauren is.

And I'm guessing what happened here is Kristoff had just finished competing. And look how much his sister loves him. He probably just like, look at her. I mean, that's like a real hug. He's squeezing the crap out of her. And watch how she looks at him. She's like a proud sister. That's awesome.

Oh, yeah. Her parents must be. But I changed it to Laura Horvat just found out she has a standing invitation on the Real Sevan podcast. I know. Jamie Fitmom said it's the cutest thing ever. Oh, it's so nice. So nice seeing siblings do that.

All right, guys. Tomorrow morning, Hunter McIntyre. Thanks for staying up late with me tonight caleb thanks for coming on savon did you notice that because the title of your show has coveted it youtube has cdc info banner below no no shit crazy yeah i saw that michael changed the title yeah you know what's interesting about that too i was just i was speaking with a doctor friend of mine today, and he was telling me that he always tells me all my COVID shit's batshit crazy. And anyway, I said, hey, you know that there's no science behind quarantine,

and he didn't know that. And, you know, for anyone who wants to go look, just go look at the CDC website. There's a whole section in there about how you never quarantine healthy people ever and that quarantines mass quarantines always end in riots i mean the whole thing is laid out there it's not this isn't conspiracy shit this isn't tinfoil hat you can just go there and look just go dig around they got they got a plan for building villages for old people it's all on there. No one's like hiding anything. Just like they were never hiding anything about the vaccine, not working. They, they were, they were always open about it. They had hopes. All right. Uh, so that Paul is our,

uh, first person who's, who's jumped on the, um, California hormones train, um, that we've had on the show. We have Alex Stein coming on. We have Gary Roberts coming on. He started the, um, California hormones train, um, that we've had on the show. We have Alex Stein coming on. We have Gary Roberts coming on. He started filming, uh, killing the fat man season three. And, uh, we have two ladies, um, who are, who are getting ready to, so, uh, you guys are great. And, uh, you heard about the health insurance. Wasn't that fascinating? He didn't have health insurance and he got $16 million dollars worth of treatment and then he got health insurance 26 i also got um someone saying that uh they moved to europe because their kid had autism he was refused insurance oh universal health care it's so cool