The Sevan Podcast - #464 - Alex Gazan

Episode Date: June 24, 2022

How do you escape from alcoholic parents and a messy childhood homelife? Sports & Faith in God. Alex Gazan shares a powerful story about how she has overcome a messy childhood to become an elite athlete and a 2022 CrossFit Games Qualifier. Sign up for our email: https://thesevanpodcast.com/ Partners: https://cahormones.com/ - CODE "SEVAN" FOR FREE CONSULTATION https://www.paperstcoffee.com/ - THE COFFEE I DRINK! https://www.hybridathletics.com/produ... - THE BARBELL BRUSH https://asrx.com/collections/the-real... - OUR TSHIRTS https://www.vndk8.com/sevan-podcast - OUR OTHER SHIRT https://usekilo.com - OUR WEBSITE PROVIDER Support the show Partners: https://cahormones.com/ - CODE "SEVAN" FOR FREE CONSULTATION https://www.paperstcoffee.com/ - THE COFFEE I DRINK! https://asrx.com/collections/the-real... - OUR TSHIRTS ... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Make your nights unforgettable with American Express. Unmissable show coming up? Good news. We've got access to pre-sale tickets so you don't miss it. Meeting with friends before the show? We can book your reservation. And when you get to the main event, skip to the good bit using the card member entrance.

Let's go seize the night. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Visit amex.ca slash yamex. Benefits vary by card. Other conditions apply. Bam, we're live. Sometimes I go early. Rarely do I go early.

But this morning I went early. I got into a good fight on Instagram with someone this morning. Hi, Alex. Hi, good morning. Good morning. How are you? I'm awesome. Good.

I don't know if this happens to you, but I have an ant on my phone. I got in a fight with someone today on Instagram in the DMs, like a good one. Like we were going hard. And then we reconciled. Oh, really? Yeah. It was so nice. That's cool. Yeah. What was like,

how did it get, I guess, resolved? Like how did it, he called me, um, condescending, arrogant. What did he say? I was just rereading it. I was like, it's such good feedback. What did he say? You're disrespectful and condescending. It's funny on your shows, but in real life, it's like no good. And you think you're better than condescending it's funny on your shows but in real life it's like no good and you think you're better than other people i don't think i'm better than other people but i do but part of my shtick is being it's funny it's funny i i wonder if people who are condescending don't know they're condescending are you ever condescending i don't think so um uh i'm stevan by the way hi hi i well i met you kind of on on the field yeah when you were like in in hulk status you were superhero status

that was a fun day is that a different person than the person here I'm talking to now? No. No, same. Yeah. Maybe like a little more like emotional, but the same person. There was a, I was watching your interview with Jared and he asked you that question about the train, like social people. Yeah. Fuck, that made me uncomfortable. And then, and then, um, uh, there was a point in the podcast where he talks about how nice you are. And I think in another podcast, you,

the, the person I was listening to interview was talking about how nice you are. And you're like, yeah, I'm a nice person. But at the end of the podcast, when you brought the question back around to him, what would you do with that train thing? I was like, yeah, that's the Alex Gazan. That's like kind of like, hey, fuck you. Was that like kind of like fuck you for asking me that? Well, I don't know. I feel like people when they ask questions like that, like I know Jared wasn't judging me, but obviously they're going to have opinions about your answer. Yeah.

And so I'm always curious, if someone's going to throw me a hard ball, I want to throw it back and see what they do. Yeah. I'm not going to ask you any hard questions. There was, just so you guys know, the question was something like, if you could save someone you love or save five people, what would you do? And then the next question followed was, if you could save someone you love or save five people what would you do and then then then the next question followed was if you could save someone you love or a hundred people yeah and i'm just like hey i just wanted to just scream at the tv that would never happen shut the fuck up that would never

happen god that made me so uncomfortable i wonder if that means it's a good question i mean yeah i guess it's a good question like because it makes you think but like it's a good question. I mean, yeah, I guess it's a good question. Like, cause it makes you think, but like, it's an uncomfortable question. Cause you don't want to answer it. Did you think about not answering it by just saying, no, I'm not answering that. No.

Um, I answered it. I said, I'd kill those strangers and save Jane. Oh yeah. I heard you. Yeah. Yeah.

I heard you. I think I'd kill the strangers too. Well, like it's hard, but I don't think it's a fair question because it's not real at all, right? Yeah, that's true. Yeah, like it would never actually happen. Unless it did.

I mean, there's times the only thing I can think of is like there's a cricket in the house, right? And I pick him up and I don't have any clothes on and it's raining outside. I could just walk to the bathroom and flush him down the toilet. house right and i pick them up and i don't have any clothes on and it's raining outside i could just walk to the bathroom and flush them down the toilet or i could go over and open the door and throw them outside how about that as a question i like that so yeah i would go over to the door and throw them outside i'd be like just suck it up don't kill them fuck that yeah i mean i don't really care about like walking outside naked so i I'd just throw them outside. It's cold and rainy too. Oh,

I mean, yeah, I still don't really care. Yeah. Yeah. Um, I, I suspect that maybe I was trying,

I see something in you that you might have, um, uh, you, you might have something special. Thank you. I think a lot of people see Danielle Brandon and they think that what's special about her

is that she's got this insane body and big butt and boobs and that's what they think they're seeing. I don't think that that's what they're really seeing. I think that they're seeing someone who kind of doesn't give a fuck. Yeah. Yeah. And they're confused. They're confused by her looks, but everyone's really attracted to her.

Like, oops, my middle fingers went up. Like, she didn't plan that, but they went up and I did it with a smile. Yeah. And the hair and the, I'm not getting the vaccine in her story. And I think there's a, there's a, I think people are attracted to the truth. And in your interview, I think you've been set free by the truth. There's two things. There's things that you should be afraid of that you're not afraid of. And one of your interviews, you

said, I might just be really emotional because I'm on my period right now. I was like, wow, she's just it's just coming on. And then the other thing is definitely significantly heavier. At 20 years old, you would think that you would be hiding your past. You would be trying to hide your parents because of your past. But you're not. You've accepted it. You've been set free. your parents because of your past, but you're not, you've accepted it. You've been set free. Yeah. I mean, I don't know. I feel I've kind of always been an open book to the point where like,

sometimes I'm like, Oh, maybe I shouldn't have said that. But like, I don't know, like everything that you do is like a part of who you are. Like I maybe shouldn't have told the whole world I was on my period, but it was like, it just comes out. I don't know. I think you should. Well, here's the thing, man, when you're free, you have so much energy, right? Totally. Do you feel free? Yeah. I mean, like I feel free in the sense of like, when I'm around people and especially people that know me like in person, like they know me, like they don't know a version of me or like someone I'm pretending to be like, they know me like in person like they know me like they don't know a version of me or like someone i'm pretending to be like they know me and like they can tell if i'm sad or like um like just the other day i had some stuff going on with my parents and like i walked into the gym and i like smiled and my uh one of my best friends like caitlin and brett

from the gym like they looked at me and they're like, what's up? They're like, that's a fake-ass smile. Like, they just knew. It's cool to have relationships like that and, like, be vulnerable with people because you just get so much closer to them. Justin Kotler says,

I'm on a plane. It sounds like that's about to be the opening lyrics for a rap song. The Wi-fi sucks oh he is lyrical i like see he is lyrical he is yeah just coming on to say how fucking cool it is that alex is on with you someone makes me so fucking happy love y'all have fun uh thanks justin he's a beast yeah he's the best i i'm tripping on this um on this crew that he's put together. I did a little, I did a little shtick on it, making fun of you guys.

Like you guys are the crew. Like when you guys go to the airport, you guys still have a pocket knife in your bag and the cigarettes in your bag that you guys used to smoke and that you're the ragtag crew. You know what I mean? Yeah. Maybe not cigarettes and a knife, but I get stopped every single time.

At the airport? Yeah. I, like, try so hard. Like, I separate my food. I separate my, I don't know, every time. Every single time. Are you and Danielle close? Like, we're not, like, we don't have beef, but I wouldn't say we're, like, close, close.

Like, we haven't really had a- Wow, that's a great place to start. we don't have beef, but I wouldn't say we're like close, close. Like we haven't really had a great place to start. We don't have beef. Well, no, like we just haven't, like, I guess we haven't got to like create like a strong bond outside of the gym. Like we haven't really hung out a whole lot outside of the gym and like in the gym a lot of time it's business. So like, you're not always like

buddy buddy but like yeah like we're we're good and like i really like she's funny and she's a really talented athlete and like i would love to get to know her like beyond the surface you know what i mean do you think maybe um i'm gonna i'm gonna backstep everything i said do you think maybe that um you've you've you've tricked me and maybe you are guarded and that maybe you just have me tricked that you are open and I, and, and, and there's more to that. That's a loaded question. I apologize. I'm going to tie it to Daniel. I'm going to tie it to Danielle in a second. Cause I never brought up Danielle's name when I interviewed DeLugos,

but there's a very specific reason why I bring up her name with you. Okay. I'm really curious to know what that reason is. Can I ask you before I answer or do I need to answer first? No, no, no. You, I, I'll tell you, um, there's a component of your life that you guys have as children that you are that, I mean, she basically, she came on the show. She was in, she's awesome. I love her as awkward as every show is with her. I look forward for running full heads first into the awkwardness of it all. Um, but she, and I had another friend, Travis Bajan, a professional arm wrestler who told me the same thing. Her life at home was so fucked up. She knew

that the only way out was sports and she wanted to get things through sports. So like, like meals from other people, my friend Travis didn't even have a shower in his house. So he wanted to do good at sports so that the other parents would invite him to their house so he could take a shower. Yeah. And you guys both have this sort of, um, sports was your,

your outlet, but, but she has like a, um, her openness is that she's guarded. Yeah. Like, fuck you.

I'm guarded. You know what I mean? Like she's open, but she's open about her guardedness. Yeah. Like, fuck you. I'm guarded. You know what I mean? Like she's open, but she's open about her guardedness. Yeah. And, um, but, but, but your path seems to be the same. There was some shit going on at home that you're like, fuck this. Yeah. I guess the difference, like, cause I see what you're saying. Um, I wouldn't say that like I'm tricking you and my garden is fake because I think through your openness that your openness. Yeah.

Like my openness is genuine in the sense of like, yes, in sports you saw that like you saw security and like there was a lot like, yeah, like going to dinner, whatever. But like there were so many people in my sports communities that I relied on. there were so many people in my sports communities that I relied on. So not just the material things or resources, but there are so many parents. I could name 10 from my old lacrosse teams that I could call them today in Las Vegas and be like, hey, I need you, and they would fly down. So I think being open and like creating those relationships like yeah maybe there was times where my parents weren't around but i had other parents through that does that

make sense yeah yeah totally totally and like i think like just yeah like with anyone you meet like if they know the real you and like i don't know i'm yeah i just i feel like relationships with people are kind of what saved me like yes sports saved me but it was because i had relationships with people in those sports would you consider yourself kind of a master at creating relationships out of necessity? No, I mean, I'm generally nice to everyone. So like, and I like enjoy conversation. So like, it's easy to like, I guess talk to people, build like surface level relationships.

I wouldn't say I'm like a master at like, Oh, this person's going to be my best friend. Like not like, there's only a few people, you know, like you really click with and like the relationship like grows. Yeah. I saw this documentary on this diver. Um, he, he was like the, the world's greatest free diver, right? You know, like one of those guys who holds his breath for 20 minutes or something. And he said that basically you can't even having thoughts consumes energy and energy consumes oxygen. So you can't even have thoughts. You have to really just slow everything down. And another way of, I think of managing that is to be,

if you can't silence your mind is to be accepting of every thought as it comes in, right? So it comes in and you let it go. It comes in and you let it go. It comes in and you let it go. And you're just letting them pass through. And I just see something about you of having already mastered that. Like there's something bigger in your life that transcends all the other noise around you. And because of that, you're somehow just're somehow, um, just drawing so much energy

from, from whatever the source is. I think, I think of human beings as kind of antennas. We're all antennas walking around on the planet and energy comes into us and, and then it comes out of us. But some, but if you get offended by something or you think you're something, it slows the energy down to create it around you. That's the trick. But if you don't think you're something it slows the energy down to create it around you yeah the trick but if you don't think you're anything and you don't get offended by anything the energy passes through you and more and more passes through you and the more and more passes through you the brighter you burn and the greater you are that's kind of how i i like that that's the sevan matosian cosmology i love it and um i just feel like you're you're just burning bright you're just burning bright. You're just letting just so much shit pass through you.

Thanks. Yeah, I feel like, I mean, I'm open about this too. My faith is a huge part of that. I feel like having that bigger perspective on life makes it a lot easier to let all that stuff go. She's not even old enough to drink yet. Sevan, the psychological interview coming out with the deep questions earlier. I had a little, I had it. I tried to pace myself.

I just get so excited. It's all good. Yeah. You've been doing a lot of podcasts. How come? People ask and I'm like, yeah, sounds fun. You're not getting tired of it? No.

I mean, I got to speak with Bryce yesterday from Invictus. And it's cool to get to know him. And it was a really good conversation. And I did one with Lindsay from FaithRx a few days ago. And most of the people that ask me are really fun to talk to. So like it doesn't get boring. Right. Have you done one yet?

There were, it's just a holy shit. No, no, you haven't been scarred yet. Okay, good. No,

um, your management team is elevated management. Do they say any, and does Benji's your guy? Yeah. And does Benji ever say, Hey, slow down on the podcast or don't do this or don't say this or no, he did. He did tell me he was like, just be prepared. And I was like, what, for Savant's podcast? He's like, yeah,

like he might ask you some stuff and like, just be prepared to like navigate if you don't want to answer a question. And I was like, Oh, that's good advice. I was like, I'll be fine. Uh, you will, you will, you will of course be fine. But that is the thing too, that people, so some people will say the thing that people get upset at me the most, there's like, Hey, why did you ask that? You know, like, uh, why did you ask someone that that's only an 18 year old girl? It's like, Hey man, the best advice you could give to someone who's about to do an interview is like, Hey, you're always open to to say I'm not going to talk about that yeah yeah you're totally open to say that yeah it's it's it's good well that's good advice I like Benji I for some reason I have an adverse reaction to management managers um just the the word like I picture them as kind of like yeah I better not say it but I

like him already he did good I don't really like when I like my first adjective would be like, he's my friend and then manager. Like I met him at West Coast last year and he was with James Sprague. And like he was just like a really good dude to like be around. He was super helpful. I didn't have a coach at that time. My friend Alex was like my coach in the back like she was helping me and she had to leave early and benji just like took right on over like i finished an event he's like here's your shake like your stuff's over there like just like boom boom boom and so we developed a friendship and then started working

together like later in the season. Yeah, that's awesome. You want a manager, I guess, who actually is a manager and doesn't want to play manager. It's like that in the movie business too. The executive producer of a movie has no problem bringing water to everyone. He's the boss. He doesn't give a shit. He'll do anything.

He'll fucking fold your underwear. He's the boss. But his job as the boss is to make sure that the whole project moves forward. And it sounds like this guy, as opposed to wanting to play the executive producer. It's like being an athlete. You can't play being an athlete. Yeah. Yeah.

For sure. But I think that that role as agent probably has been so romanticized. Yeah. I mean, like, it's probably, yeah, I would say it's romanticized because like the idea of like, Oh, I'm just going to connect her in this business and like, they're going to get a deal and it's going to be awesome. It's like, no, it's more like, Hey, I'm going to message this guy, see if I can get, make a contact. Okay. I made a contact. Okay. Like they can't talk for like two weeks. like there's a lot of more like minute details i feel like that goes into it and you'd never have time to do that oh i mean yes and no like

like i said i'm totally open like reaching out to people but i think having someone that's like more a he's like more knowledgeable as far as like contracts and like what I, what's realistic, like what could I expect? Like, I feel like I would probably go into something and get low balled and I wouldn't know it. I'd be like, okay. Um,

and like, he's good at making sure like things are good. For sure. Me too. And I don't want to do anything more to sponsors than say hi to them. Yeah. I don't want to do anything. I don't want to talk about any of that shit. Yeah. I got shit to do. Like you, you have handstand push hi to them. Yeah. I don't want to do anything. I don't want to talk about any of that shit.

Yeah. I got shit to do. Like you, you have handstand pushups to do. Yes, sir. Where were you born? I was born in Oregon. Well, I lived in Hood River, but like close to Portland. And how did you end up in Vegas?

I got married and Jake... Man, your husband's proud of you. Sorry? Man, your husband's proud of you. Yeah, it's so cute. It's so good. Yeah, we got married and he works for his dad. They do like fire prevention and stuff. And so kind of wherever his dad goes, like he had to go.

And his dad and family moved to Las Vegas, kind of wherever his dad goes, like he had to go and, uh, his dad and family moved to, um, Las Vegas kind of like spur of the moment, like, Hey, we're, we think we'll really like it here. And so he moved and, um, this was before we got married. We were just doing long distance. Um, and then we got engaged still long distance and then COVID happened. We were going to get married in December. Um, but then COVID happened and we're like, yeah, let's just do it. So we got married in our friend's living room. Oh, awesome. And we did long distance again for a while. But then with COVID, my job was up in the air.

Training was up in the air at the gym at the time. And it was like, well, if I don't have the gym and I don't have a job, like I might as well move. So then I moved to Vegas. Wow. So is he a bit of a free spirit himself? Like in what way? Just like he I mean, it's just so like you just got married and like you were having long distance relationship. And even after you got married, you weren't living together. And it was just like just easy peasy. and it was just like just easy peasy yeah i feel like we're i mean jake is really um he's really mature in a different way i would say like he just knows what he wants and he wants it like we were dating and he started talking about marriage like so fast and i was like whoa like

no like you're scaring me. Like stop talking about it. Or like, I'm going to break up with you kind of thing. And he didn't stop talking about it. And I didn't break up with him. So like, yeah, like he was long distance sucks, but like, he was like, yeah, it's fine. Like we have to do this right now. Cause like, you're doing this, I'm doing this and like, it'll work out later.

He's very like, um, not one track minded, minded but like that's the best way to put it like his brain's just very like this that that um do you read any books or listen to any books um sometimes do you do mindset books or anything like that no not really i probably should but no um does justin talk to you guys about that stuff about mindset yeah yeah like before granite like he spoke to maddie and i for like 30 minutes just like um talking about who's maddie matt delugas oh okay sorry that's good um and like yeah he spoke to us for like 30 minutes just like talking about like visualizing the events like for me a huge thing is like believing like hey like you do belong there um stuff like that so he definitely like talks about it for sure you're 20 years old and you qualified for the crossfit games yeah i did yeah it's crazy was that the plan for it to happen this year well not my plan um i started

when i was 16 like almost 17 um i found out there was a teen division and i was like oh cool like i want to try to do that um granted like i didn't understand at the time how much like went into being like a games athlete and like the hundreds of things you have to be good at in crossfit um so i like barely missed it and then uh my coaches like at that gym and friends were like don't worry like think bigger like think individual like just keep having fun and like doing your thing and eventually like you'll make it and so i've kind of just had this like. That was 2018. Mm-hmm.

And so I've kind of just had this like, not philosophy, but just like approach of like do the work, enjoy it. And like when it happens, it's going to happen. And I remember talking to Justin at the beginning of the season and that's what I told him. I was like, hey, like I want to make it to the games. Like that's what I told him. I was like, Hey, like, I want to make it to the games. Like, I don't care when, but I want to. And then we had a little goal meeting probably around the open, like Carrie came in and like, asked us to all like verbally state our goals for the season. And like, we all went around and I remember like sitting there,

like being like, I hate unrealistic goals. Like, I just think it's like, I don't want to say a recipe for disaster, but like, if you set a goal to deadlift 500 pounds and you don't deadlift every week, like you're just setting yourself up to be like disappointed. And I don't like that. Um, so I was like, I remember being so nervous, like, Oh, what am I going to say? Like, it's like top 10 and semis a good goal. Like, should I be aiming higher? Like, what's my goal? And I think I remember just starting to be like, yeah, I just want to do better than

last year. And like top 10 and semis would be cool. And like, Carrie was like games, like save the game. Um, and like, at that time I still like, I just didn't believe it. Like I, last year I barely made it to semis and like granted a lot can happen in a year but I just didn't think anything and then quarterfinals happened and I got 12th but I was like oh there was lifting like that was a fluke like yeah I did well but I don't know and then then it then it happened. Can you imagine Elon Musk said he was going to build a rocket ship and go to

space. Can you imagine the people around him must've been like, you're fucking crazy. Yeah. You're, you're never going to do that. Yeah. Someone has to think that they're going to be the best. Yeah. And I think that's what I'm working on is like not caring so much about what other people think. Cause I do like, that's probably one of my faults. Like me too. I care what people think too. Yeah. And it's like bad. Like someone could be mad at me and I'll think about it for like all day

until it's fixed. Like all day. Oh, maybe we're talking about something different. I care what they think about me, but I don't know if I. I care what they think about me, but I don't care about it like. Enough to act on it. No, I care about it a lot. I'm trying to think there's a there's it's like weird. It's like, you know, that line that Jay-Z says, I'm

the businessman one. What's it? What is it? I'm not a businessman. I'm a businessman. You know, it's like, there's two, that play on words. I care what people think about me, but I don't care what they think about me. I like, I like, I'm curious. I'm like, like, that was really, that was really fascinating to me that that guy said that shit to me in my DMS today. Like I cared. I was like, wow, I really care. Like I was really enjoying like this. Wow. This guy's telling me what he thinks about it. And I know he's a bit frustrated because we're in DMS

and, and, and he's, and so he's, he's borderline attacking me and, and telling me what he thinks, but, but I, but I'm not, not but i don't care like is in the sense like it doesn't hurt me yeah yeah i don't know what it is i like i struggle with sorry i'm just letting my dog out real quick um yeah i struggle with like if i think someone doesn't like me or i think that like something's wrong like i definitely want it fixed like i'm not good at just being like oh it doesn't matter. I mean, as long as I know the person, like a stranger, I don't care. Like if, if someone that I didn't know commented on a post or like DM me,

I'd be like, Oh, like that doesn't matter. But if it's someone I know personally, then I really care. I think that's super normal for 20. Yeah. Super normal for 20. Duper, duper normal. Have you thought, what could you do to make your um uh your your training better do you think you could isolate yourself more or do you like the big group um oh i i got asked this question yesterday in a different way like the pros and cons of training alone versus together um i think like the biggest con or like sometimes the hardest part of training

in a big group for me, especially like as an athlete is I get afraid to like take risks cause you don't want to like, instead of losing by like a few seconds, you would lose by a few minutes if you like go out too hot and like blow up. So like for myself, that's probably the hardest part is remembering sometimes you have to train and not compete like with Metcons. Um, but with that said, like, I love like training next to people and like, Hey,

if we're doing cleaning jerks in the email, I'm like, let's stagger so we can watch each other. And like, um, cause obviously Justin's there, but it's also nice to have extra eyes. And like, there's something to be said about if you're on rep three of five of a squat and someone's like, Hey, like, let's go. You have that extra like accountability to like make it happen. Um, you know, that rope climb workout, the, the, the run rope climb, is there any benefit to being in your gym and doing that and just doing three rounds? Absolutely absolutely as fast as you can rest

three minutes um do it three times but the same way you might do cindy instead of doing cindy 20 rounds do five rounds as fucking hard as you can rest three minutes and do it again and and sort of what you do then is you trick yourself around that you you're fucking with your ego a little bit right because you can leave your ego you know that there's nothing that's going to stop you in that, those three rope climbs. Yeah. Oh yeah, for sure. And so, and so you kind of like set your ego free of having to worry about

failing in round 10. Yeah. I mean, I think not necessarily that workout for me, like I wasn't worried about failing, but like other things. Yes. Like for me, a lot of it's like, Hey, could you have done those toes of arm broken? Like things like that for me a lot of it's like hey could you have done those toes the bar and broken like things like that like could you have uh gone faster on the burpees or were you like

purposefully going slow like stuff like that is where like i have to like trick myself are you getting smarter yes like are you like wow i know are you like wow i never even thought of doing that oh yeah like in the gym like i'm getting smarter like just learning from everybody and learning from justin in real life i'm definitely getting dumber you're you're born you're born in oregon uh outside of outside of portland and you're born in uh in the 2000s 2001 holy shit okay and uh and and are your parents married when you're born they were and uh are and you're the you were the first their first child i'm their only child only child oh but you have a five-year-old brother i do

and is that your mom that's your mom's baby different dad yeah she um actually kind of crazy story like she's had multiple relationships since um me too since her and my dad got divorced they got divorced when i was like five so i was very young um but like she was remarried like she like had a few other boyfriends and um she had some health issues that led to her like the doctor pretty much was like yeah don't worry about ever getting pregnant like when she had me well she had a liver transplant to give you context um from drinking no no she was diagnosed at like 13 uh with i don't remember what it's called like hepatitis something um at the one where your immune system attacks the liver okay uh sorry to interrupt your

seven has underwear that's true that older than Alex that is correct that's correct oh that's so good okay so sorry very don't Matt don't interrupt again this is an important story so your mom had a liver transplant yeah so she like I guess was like kind of just dealing with it for a long time like she was on the transplant list like when I was born she still had a bad liver um and the doctor like she had to try really hard to get pregnant with me like fertility pills like the whole nine yards um but afterwards he was like yeah like that was a miracle like it's probably never gonna happen again just don't worry about it and so she goes on like has her liver sorry to interrupt what does that mean when when a doctor tells a woman

that do you know what that means does that mean she's not dropping eggs or does that mean the egg won't attach to the to the wall or does that mean that what does that mean that you can't get pregnant i think it could mean multiple things like for different reasons i don't know for sure what her reason was okay um but yeah like for some people like maybe they're not ovulating so they're not having an egg or like you said like maybe their uterus is just a really hostile environment so like even if the egg is fertilized it's not gonna like like it's weird the doctors say that right if you don't have a um um uh what's that operation called when they take out a woman's uterus if you don't um hysterectomy yeah something like that if you don't have a uterus and the doctor says you can't get pregnant, you're like, okay.

But if you got all the fucking parts, it's just weird how they say shit like that. Yeah, I don't know. But, like, for, honestly, though, like, for all of her relationships, like, like I said, she was remarried. She had boyfriends. And I know they were, like, doing stuff. And she never got pregnant. First, like, first time with this this guy she gets pregnant with my brother so um it was definitely like not not an accident in the sense of like i feel like it was meant to happen but definitely an accident and like the sense of it wasn't planned right right yeah

so so you're born you're you're you're you live this childhood your your parents are together and when they get a divorce at five um do you remember that yeah i do um i don't remember a lot of it actually my mom has kind of told me like some things apparently i was like really depressed and would write like really deep terrible like notes and stuff. I was like, wow, like that's intense. Um, I don't remember any of that. Uh, I just remember like, not like just crying, like, Oh, like I want you guys to be together. And like, I didn't understand. Um, normal. Yeah. But like, yeah, I mean, them getting divorced, I feel like, like, wasn't the end of the world.

It just like when everything else like started to happen is what made it hard like um my dad got remarried to a woman who wasn't the best and like that was hard and he was drinking all the time at that point and what was he drinking what was he drinking alcohol just like beer like he would just pound What was he drinking? What was he drinking? Just like beer. Like he would just pound beer.

Yeah. But I still go to the gym and he was still a gym rat. I don't remember. So I think for those few years when I was like five, not so much like he just like they would literally just watch TV and drink. And I didn't spend much time with my dad during that time, like at all. And I think that was what's that mean? Once a month or like every other weekend. And like, when I was there, it was like, we'd watch TV. And I think that was like, even now, I think I still resent that time because when I was young, like when my parents, I do remember this, like when my parents were together,

me and my dad were like attached at the hip, we would hunt together i would go to work with him he used to like drive trucks for the family orchard and like i was with him 24 7 like motorcycle rides archery like we were that's a good ass life that's a good ass oh it was so good and like i think that's why it was so hard it was just like i went from having him as a best friend to like i just felt like he didn't oh my god i'm like gonna cry um like just that he didn't care anymore and i know that's not true but like that's obviously how it felt in the moment and so she had kids did she have kids yeah she had two kids and were they older or younger? They were older. One was like old to the point where I think he was already in college.

And then the other one was like middle school, high school age. So I was really young comparatively. So you didn't have to compete with them? No, not at all. And they were both boys too. Where's Jake right now? Oh, that's a good question. i don't know if he was in oregon yet i think he's not he is he in your house right now oh oh right now sorry yeah yeah

i thought uh no he's in california so i liked your thinking though okay so he's not gonna like come on like behind the camera be like hey asshole stop talking to my my wife okay no he did my ass or something he was totally teasing me last night though he's like i'm gonna comment stuff that's gonna make you embarrassed i was like please don't like please so if he's listening he he would never do that oh babe i love you oh oh okay no he was he was serious he was like he's like i'm gonna comment this and this and this is like no you're not don't, you're not. Don't do it. Anyway.

So your parents get it. So you're close with your dad and you have memories of that being a three and four year old girl. And your dad just is fucking just loving you. Just yeah. Just loves the relationship. And then and then do you know why your parents got a divorce? Were they both drinking? Their their relationship, like probably wasn't the best from the beginning they met when my mom yeah those are hard relationships are hard how old sorry how old

were how old was your mom when she had you she was i want to say 21 i could be wrong crazy so your age yeah um but her and my dad met when she was 13. wow and and how old your dad is he the same age as her he's like three years older so they were like okay they dated from a young age and like but the stories like that i've heard it just wasn't healthy like my dad was drinking since he was like a teenager my mom oh my gosh you would laugh if you like have seen my mom she's like this little like cute little like she's small comparatively to me like she's always been like skinny small but like you hear these stories in high school and i'm like oh my gosh she was the she was the bad chick in high school like my mom

and dad would like cheat on each other and she would like normal normal normal yeah but she would she was like the type of girl to like pour like cans of tuna down a girl's car like she was like that person yeah normal normal yeah of this girl this girl who's in charge of our yearbooks in my high school my senior year she's in charge she she had printed in every yearbook seven hasvan has a huge nose. Oh, that's kind of mean. A little bit. I mean, a little bit mean when you're 18. But I did something to her that was like pouring a can of tuna.

Oh, okay. Yeah, I did something. I did something to her graduation present. Yeah. In hindsight, I wish i wouldn't have done okay so so so so your mom and dad had a um they were together they liked each other but they were dating other people and so there was jealousy and it could be missing and there was some jealousy they just had a bad toxic relationship let's just put it that way like they just i think there was

just so much damage by the time they were married and had me. That's the real problem with cheating, by the way. It's not the cheating. It's the fucking trust it damages that is so hard to heal, that doesn't heal. Anything that goes in the subconscious never gets out. Listen to that, people. I just told you something. Anything that goes in the subconscious never comes out yeah so you should never smoke cigarettes you'll be fucked by nicotine your whole life and you should never wear masks because you're telling everyone around you that

something's wrong to their subconscious sorry i got on my horse that's okay i love it i love it okay uh okay so so they they were young and there was some they had trust issues and they were damaged we're gonna say they were they were hurt they were both and they had trust issues and they were damaged, we're going to say. They were both hurt. Their feelings were hurt. So they got divorced and that was probably for the best. Sometimes, though, when you have a child, I mean, you can kind of, well, some people have children to try to fix that. I mean, that doesn't work.

No, they didn't have me to try to fix it. I think, like, yeah, there's moments where they were happy. And then there was like, yeah, I guess I don't really remember very much of like then. So I don't know. Did you ever drink? No, never. I've had alcohol. I think in high school, I had a Mike's Hard Lemonade and I was like, yeah, no. I think there was a little period of time where I was open-minded to the whole party scene. I've never heard it worded like that. I guess I was open-minded. Man, you're square i yeah i'm boring like i'm i'm not gonna go out with you and like hang out like i'm it's just like i have so much ptsd like the smell of alcohol like makes me angry like i don't get angry very much but like like the smell of it like when people are like ask me and i tell them

no and they're like but why like just have one like you might as well just like stab a knife like in my heart yeah um and like because you saw it fuck your family up oh so like the thing like i wish i could forget some of the things like i've seen um but yeah that's why so you so it was so bad that you would be at home and your parents would be passed out drunk and you'd be a little kid at home alone um not well not when i was so little that like like when i was young to the point of like not understanding i didn't like i just thought my dad was tired like him because his wife was there you know like i just thought he slept you know like i don't know um and then like my mom was actually like she was a really good like superhero single mom for a long time she like ended up getting a good job at the hospital and like she was doing her best it wasn't

until she got married when I was in like middle school and the husband that she got married to like he was an alcoholic and like just the crowd that like the friend group that ended up being around a lot um probably wasn't the best influence and my mom started pill popping and that's kind of how her path started um so with my mom I didn't really like notice or like know anything till middle school. And I've seen like, sorry for people listening. This is like really deep. Like I've seen my mom. They're so excited.

They're so excited. They're like, people are like, oh my God, thank God it's not only me. Yeah, no. Like, I mean, I've seen like, I've thought my mom was dead before. no like i mean i've seen like i've thought my mom was dead before like i my i was with my high school boyfriend in the car and she this was after my brother was born um we got a call from the hospital because my brother had some like breathing issues when he was born like some asthma and stuff and um so as a young like infant toddler he had to spend a few days in the hospital. A vast, a huge chunk of kids who, um, get inoculated by all the scary diseases out there

end up with, um, it's kind of weird. I'm 100%. Like, yeah, you don't have to tiptoe around any of that. I'm like on your page, 100%. Um, so like, I remember getting a call and I was like with him at the time and, uh, I don't remember who it was, but they're like, Hey, like you need to come pick your mom up from the hospital. Like she's, uh, getting kicked out.

Like she was like, because she was drunk at the hospital. And I was like, Oh my God. How old are you when this happens? Uh, at this time I was like 16, 15 or 16. Okay. So you're growing up fast now you're getting calls that you have to come pick your mom up yeah that's okay um heavy shit and I remember like we picked her up and she was like obviously drunk like slurring her words or whatever and we were on our way home

and I remember like she I was like yelling crying, whatever. And like all of a sudden she was just like silent. And I was like, Oh, like wake up. Like I want to yell at you. Yeah. Like I'm upset. And when you yelling at her, are you lecturing her? Like you're my fucking mom. Like how can you be doing this?

Like that kind of stuff. Like, like, um, I think like, are you being the adult more like, uh, I feel like I've had moments of both. I mean, like I've learned now it's pointless. Like when people are drunk, they don't understand anything. So now, like if I was in that situation, it'd just be like, more like, okay, like, let's go home. Like I'll talk to her when she's sober or whatever.

Um, but it took me a long time to learn that. And, uh, I just remember like trying to wake her up like i was like wake up and she would not like nothing i did woke her up i like slapped her really really hard across the face like screamed and i thought like i thought she was dead like i like if someone would have asked me if she was alive, I would have been like, no, like your boyfriend's driving the car. Well, this is all going on. Yeah. Yeah. Um, and so like, yeah, I don't know. That's a long answer to say like the stuff that I've seen, like it just alcohol, like I have no interest in it.

I can have a great time sober. Don't worry. Um, do you ever, um, would you ever be around her and she'd be sober and you would just see the whole thing just unfold right before your eyes? Like you're around her sober and then she starts drinking and you just see the fucking disaster arise? Um, no, I feel like, um, my parents, my parents tried really hard to like, once obviously it was obvious that they had problems.

It was more like, then it was obvious that they had problems it was more like then it was a lot more like they try to sneak it um wow so like i'm not drunk or like like i'd talk to my dad on the phone and he'd be like um like i and i'd know like you have those gut feelings right or like you just know yeah um and then? Or like, you just know. Um, and then like, but then you ask and then it's like very defensive. Like, why would you ask that? Like, then you feel bad. You're like, Oh, was I like, was I right? Like, are they? So, um, but yeah. How do you know you didn't marry one of your parents? on one of your parents jake jake's like if you think i'm square he's he's he's real square he's super square yeah like he's a square and a rectangle like yeah he i don't think he's ever

had a sip of alcohol um he like he had his his mom was a drug addict. He's not like close with her or like doesn't really talk to her anymore. But like he, I think after that and like just his childhood, he had like a pretty difficult childhood as well. I think he just like has no interest in it and any of that stuff. It's crazy, man. The drug problem is real. Yeah. I mean, well, it's like interesting, right? Cause like our society paints it as such a fun, like, Oh,

like let's just go like go to a bar and hang out or like, Hey, like let's just get high and like eat these crackers. And like, sure. It sounds harmless. And like, maybe it is the first time. But I think the problem is like, when you can't either face your problem sober, or you can't like, I don't know, like, I'm not going to judge someone that's like, gonna have a drink to like, loosen up, whatever, like, do what you got to do. But also, like, maybe teach yourself, like, why can't you have fun sober? Like what's holding you back from being silly without the alcohol or like what's holding you, if you're going to like take your shirt off and run around naked drunk, like what, like what changed, you know? Right. That is the best part about being drunk, getting naked. Um, and you're

right. You don't have to be drunk to do that you can you can you can uh maybe the first time you you do it drunk and then you're like oh shit i want to get here without it it's it's a it's a fascinating to me that um this is the the old story that i'm sure you've heard a million times too but we're in a society where being healthy is extreme it's not even healthy i wouldn't even call it healthy just Just being in your normal state, like just eat some meat, run, run around and sit in the sun and be nice to people is like, it's somehow, somehow that's extreme. Yeah. And the normal people are the ones who are, I was flying back. I was making this movie in Kenya and I was flying and I, and I was flying back. I was making this movie in Kenya and I was flying and I,

and I was flying back and I heard some story I was listening to probably on NPR or something. I used to listen to that, like a religion. And they said, they said that they talked about how much sleeping pills people take in the United States and the cost of them. And I can't remember, but it was this huge number. So I quickly looked up the GDP of all the countries in Africa and the cost of them and i can't remember but it was this huge number so i quickly looked up the gdp of all the countries in africa and the united states spent more money on sleeping pills than the gdp of any of the fucking african countries and i'm like oh this is probably 30 years ago and i'm like or 20 years ago and i'm like oh shit yeah we we are in no it's wild like we're headed down a slippery slope i'm like a nutrition coach

on the side and um it's just crazy like the things that like in the crossfit space right like healthy is very normal like most people have their diets like decent and like especially as a competitive athlete like everyone i'm around all day knows what they're eating. And they know how to eat healthy. And they know how to... They're not doing things that are jeopardizing their health. So you're around that all the time. And then you forget that 90% of the population thinks that...

I don't know. I'm trying to think of a meal example that I saw from a client that I'm like, yeah, like that's healthy, but it's not healthy. Um, well just even, just even this, the difference between eating a hamburger at McDonald's and now adding a fries and a milkshake to it, you've just created like just a hamburger you might be able to get away with, but you add the fries and the milkshake and now you've got dumpster fire going yeah or like beyond like the calories of it like the oil mix yeah that's what i mean the mix of the oils those certain fats and carbohydrates mixed together is like not so good we were just talking about that yesterday because like he was having like a bit of a stomach bug and

i was like are you sick or do you think you ate something and like we were just talking about how like certain foods like going out like you could be fine but there's that like specific oil and like at restaurants that you they use and you're just like man like I canola oil yeah yeah like shit once you get rid out of your system yeah yeah the best burrito place in town that I used to always go to and love I stopped eating canola oil and I started asking them to use butter when they made my burrito. And then one time I had one with canola oil, I wanted to throw up. I couldn't even believe I ever liked that taste. Yeah. Yeah. It's insane. Yeah. So, so at five, your parents, at five, your parents get divorced. Um, and so as that starts happening at home, do you see sports as a vehicle to take space from that? How do you get into sports?

I mean, elementary school, right? Like you just like do the sports. Like I played lacrosse from the time I was in like second or third grade all the way through high school. I really enjoyed like dance. So like for me, that was just fun. Like I was like hanging out with my friends. How do you get into lacrosse in the second grade? I didn't even know what lacrosse was until I went to college. I'd never even heard of it. Um, I don't know the town that I grew up in, like lacrosse was like the big sport. Like that was like,

people wanted to like be really good. I don't know. It was just like the sport, I guess. And your mom still had to sign you up though, right? Oh yeah. My, like, like I said, my mom was like superhero mom, like for a long time. Um, so all through elementary school, like she was great. Um, middle school, I like, so I'm trying to like, I guess figure out where all the things kind of happened. Elementary school. I was like with my mom saw my dad semi-regularly um and then middle school happened and all that stuff happened with my mom um middle school was probably the hardest for me honestly because all that happened with my mom uh and it's not just that they were drinking like they were getting like duis like driving under the influence yeah and like that's where it really gets messy because like then they can't take me to sports they can't take me to school

were you ever in the car when they when they got arrested yeah oh shit how old were you um i was probably like 11 maybe and you just complete and you see your mom get arrested handcuffed um no i i was with my dad um i've i've seen my mom plastered on the front of a newspaper um for dui with her like in handcuffs uh yeah uh yeah i was with my dad though and that was like that was so traumatizing because like like I said with my dad like he drank so much that like I almost didn't even know half the time like I just knew like the version of him that I knew was drunk and like he wasn't a belligerent drunk like he didn't like he was fun to be around was funny. Like he would just like giggle and like, I don't know, like nothing was bad when he was drinking, I guess.

So like, you just kind of like overlooked it or like, I didn't know any better, you know? Right. Right. So we were at a archery competition, um, a little bit out of town and we left and like, we were both tired. Like we had been there for a couple days and it was really fun like it was a great time and just listen to this you're an archery competition

with your dad like that's like you're that's heaven yeah well yeah and like that that was something i held on to so closely because when i was younger and they were my parents were married like that was something that he taught me and um I felt like even though he was drinking and I didn't see him very much, like on the days that I was there, like, it was like, Oh, let's go shoot our bows. Like I tried so hard to hold onto that version of us when I was younger. So yeah. Like consciously you held onto it. You knew, sorry, consciously you knew you were holding onto it. Yeah. Oh, I know. No. Okay. Definitely like looking back hindsight. Okay. Um, but yeah, we were on our way home and like you, he was tired, but like, I probably,

I wouldn't have like been in the car and been like, Whoa, like you need to pull over. Like I just was like, yeah, whatever. Um, and he's the dad yeah he's like i wasn't thinking about this yeah he must know better yeah so we got pulled over and just the two of you yeah and like the most traumatizing part of the whole thing was more the cop himself um i have nothing against cops i think 90 of them are great um this one was just like really insensitive and and he pulled us over uh he asked my dad to step out of the car and so i was just sitting there and like a little bit of time went by and i remember like looking

through the back window and i just see this cop like body slammed my dad to the ground oh fuck and i was like so i started freaking out like full-on like crying like i don't even know like just going ballistic and at that point another cop came or whatever and i just remember him coming to the window and like he was trying to talk to me and i was just crying and And I was like, dad, like daddy, like freaking out. And this cop was just like, Hey, like you need to calm down or we're going to call like child protective services. So then of course, like I freaked out even more. Um, and a cop waited with me. Like they took my dad and a cop waited with me until my stepmom at the time came to pick me up. Did your dad say anything to you?

He couldn't. I didn't even get to talk to him. I just watched them essentially arrest him and throw him on the ground. Have you ever talked to your dad about this? Yeah. Did he say why the cop slammed him on the ground did you ever talk to your dad have you ever talked to your dad about this yeah and did he say why the cop slammed him on the ground well i'm pretty sure he was like hey like do you hear like because i was crying and he was like probably i don't remember exactly what he said but he was probably along the lines of like hey like fuck heads like my daughter's in there like something like that right so it was just crazily emotionally charged he knew he fucked up by drinking and driving he was trying to protect you and it probably was just tense as shit yeah i don't think um it's gonna be so fast are you gonna have kids you think i'd like to

it's gonna be fascinating when you, these stories are going to be amazing for you. When you have kids, all your stories change. Yeah. Because you get to see them from a different, you get a new set of eyes if you want. You have the option to get some new set of eyes and it'll be fascinating to see your take on that. For people who don't have kids,

it's fascinating to me what they people think that they can get away with with telling their um telling the way they treat other people's kids like if you treat other people's kids poorly you should expect the worst possible outcome to happen to you yeah no my dad like i just as a parent i'm just saying like that's if you stare at a baby cub of a bear wrong the mom will come over and fucking rip your head off and you will be decapitated. And humans, we have that in us also. Yeah. I should, like, shed some light on my dad.

Yeah. issues with substance abuse and like the trauma and the hurt, like all this stuff, like they both, like, I would never doubt in my mind that they loved me. Like, yes, of course. Like you have those moments where you're like, if you loved me, you would stop. And before I, before I understood, um, like I, I consider it a disease. I addiction is 100% a disease to me. Um, and before I understood it, like I would feel like, Oh, they don't love me or otherwise they would stop. But now like looking back and like just every like little thing, like they,

I know they both cared like more than anything. And I, my dad would kill for me. And so would my mom. Like I know that the love was there you you've depicted a a home of love and i know that because i also grew up surrounded by alcoholics and um and and my my family is the most loving family ever it's crazy how good and loving they are to me yeah but but you cannot flourish as a human being um for the most part 99.999 percent of the time if you have a a drug addiction yeah um so so that happens and um is that just emotional just fucking devastating or do you also have some uh things that you come up with in that

moment that are like okay this is my like you're only 11 but at that point are you already starting to make an exit strategy or like oh shit i'm in this alone or how am i going to overcome this or is it just i mean i wouldn't have done that at 11 i would have just probably felt sorry for myself at 11 like that was like the like i'd say the start of everything because like i said my mom was going through stuff at that time so was my dad um so i ended up living with my aunt and uncle for a year okay and that's the daniel you know that that happened to daniel brandon too no i didn't know that yeah so that's exactly what happened to her she got she had to go live with her aunt and her aunt had kids yeah so she she realized

like hey no matter how much my aunt loved me i'm fucking second fiddle no one's gonna love me as much as they love their own kids did she have kids did your aunt uh my aunt does have a kid um my cousin aiden but your aunt's pretty by the way she's very attractive i don't which which aunt i don't know i just saw some aunt ant. I saw some ant in your, in your Instagram. I was like, damn, that's a hot ant. I have lots of hot ants. Okay. Well, yeah, at least one of them, I saw one that was hot. I'll tell, I don't know. I'll figure out which one was on my Instagram. Um, but this is on my dad's side. Don't tell her it was me who said it. No one wants everyone to get, just tell it was some guy. Cause no one wants to be like some guy said it and then he fucking looks like me oh my god don't make sure you just make it ambiguous um okay i will um but this is on my dad's side so it's my dad's brother

and his wife um i lived with them i i didn't really like i guess i didn't think about the second fiddle thing i just was like hey like they love me and i'm here um is that first day kind of weird and embarrassing hi Hi, I'm here. My parents are fucked up. No. Um, no. Cause like I said, like, I don't know, my family all is very loving. And like, even though I lived with like that aunt and uncle, my other aunt and uncle, my mom's side, like took me in a lot. Like I felt very loved and like a second child to pretty much all my aunts and uncles, really. Yeah, cool. Yeah.

So I lived with them for about a year. Did you ever have to deal with Child Protective Services? A little bit. Oh, God. So sorry. Yeah, they're terrible, honestly. They came and interviewed you? they came and interviewed you. They came and interviewed you. Um, I don't remember like myself so much, but like I've

had to deal with them a lot for my brother. Um, and that was another crazy story, by the way, I heard what you said in the interview, your goal was to make sure that he never had to see anything that you had to see. And he's had to see some of it and about it breaking breaking your heart yeah um so like dealing with child protective services for him terrible like i couldn't it was hard to even like babysit him because if he fell at the park and got a bruise like i had to like call my mom and write this whole paragraph of like it was noon we were on the park he fell off the slide yeah and there was no marks but like there could be one, like it was just like, could show up tomorrow. Yeah. So dumb. Um, but anyway,

so I lived with my aunt and uncle and I loved it. Like I loved it so much. Um, like we had family dinners and like, it just like, it felt normal. And I was like, this is amazing. Um, and of course, and you were doing sports still at the same time they were still taking to those. Oh yeah. My aunt took me like, bless her heart. She like would pick me up from dance at like nine 30 at night. Like they made sure I was involved in all that stuff. Um, and I remember, and of course middle school is also the time where like girls start getting curious about boys and

like you start like being mischievous and I remember one of my best friends Nina and I were like we're having a sleepover and she had this tent like she had a really big property and she had like this big old tent like out kind of in the like skirt outskirts of her property and like there was a ton of trees and so like we would like camp like all the time like all summer and this is eighth grade summer at this point like now we're like kind of close to high school and we had boys over and i remember like my dad found out how did he find out oh my gosh that man well a he knows everyone in the town. Um, B, I don't know. I think you just had like spy cameras on me all the time. Cause he found out everything. I couldn't do anything without finding out. I also though, I'm a terrible liar. So like I probably gave myself

out many times. That's a great thing by the way. Yeah. To be a terrible liar. We had boys over and I remember like him calling me and he was like, Hey, like, I think it's time you come home because like, you can't be doing that to Shane and Shannon, which was my aunt and uncle. Granted my aunt and uncle, like, had they been upset, like I would have felt terrible. And like, I don't know. I'm not one to like do something over and over again. Like I would've been like, I'm so sorry. Like let's move on. Anyway, we didn't even get to have that conversation because my dad was like, yeah, like you can come home now. Like he couldn't even drive. I don't remember if he could drive. Maybe he could. I think he had a hardship license at the time.

Hardship license. Yeah. It's like like so when you're driving like privileges are suspended um sometimes they have programs where you can get a license where you just drive to work like you're only permitted to drive um to certain places and like certain times of the day um and so he's like yeah i have a hardship license like i can take you like to school and all this stuff and whatever so like he made me move back in and i remember i was so mad like i was so furious um and yeah i don't know high school was kind of just a wild ride like both my parents i thought then i was just like i was back and forth with my parents again uh they would go so even though you moved in with your dad you would go back and forth between them at that point it, it was just like, you were kind of on your own.

You had a bedroom at both places. Yeah. How far apart did they live? Walking distance. Oh, shit. That's nice. A long walk. Okay.

A long walk. But still walk. And did your mom get along with his new wife? Oh, my. No, she wasn't great. Not so much. She wasn't great. Yeah.

Yeah. And like, yeah, in high school high school i mean i don't know like we eventually like mended our relationships and isn't it crazy you could have kids that's the fucked up part about having kids here you are on some fucking podcast your parents are living their life and they have this fucking kid and now their kid has this whole their own whole story it's like having a spy in your house okay i already feel it from my kids if my mom like i was yelling at my kids in the van the other day and one of my kids goes you know people outside can hear i was like well ash you i mean like he's tattling on me you know people outside can hear you yelling at me yeah i mean if you

either he's gonna be on podcast diamond my shit. Yeah. I mean, if either of them are listening. He's going to be on podcast diamond my shit out too. Go ahead. Sorry. Yeah. If either of them are listening, like, I hope they know I love them more than anything in the whole wide world. And like. And that comes across by the way too.

They're just, they just sound like people who just drank. Yeah. And like me and my mom are like, both me and my mom and my dad both have like a really good relationship now. It just like, now it's more just just like i know how to deal with it and i know how to not take it personally so like it just is what it is is that real what that you know how to not take it personally yeah i mean like it still hurts but it's not like yeah okay okay like it still does hurt yeah now it's more like oh i just

want like i just want them to be happy not like oh they don't love me you know what i mean it's like a different a different type of sadness yeah it still hurts they don't get off the hook you're still hurting me we're alive we're connected yeah like like you don't get off the hook but but i'm an adult now and i know i have to be responsible for my own shit yeah um they don't are either are did you um are either of them in aa or did they do that route uh so my dad went to rehab last year um and i don't know if he's still going to a but he did for a little bit. My mom, something really cool, she now her job is a AA recovery mentor.

So her job is actually taking people to and from AA meetings and like being there for them. So she's kind of come full circle, which is really cool. Super cool. Yeah. In this time, do you start seeing any, when you're, when you're doing these sports, um, do you start sensing that you're different than the other kids? Like, Whoa, I'm good. Like, do you get picked first? Do the parents start treating you different?

Are you leading scores on your team? Like I always on like so in middle school and elementary school they don't have like varsity jb they have like a gold team and a silver team and like i was always on the gold team and like i always did really well um like in dance like i was with the high schoolers when i was in middle school like that kind of thing um and then yeah probably high school was when i was like yeah like i'm going to the athletics route like that's going to be my future like i just didn't know like what type of athletics yet but like i knew that was the way yeah you're 16 years old and your gym teacher says you should do crossFit. You tell her to go pound sand. And then she gives you the great Miss Huckabee's, Reagan Huckabee's phone number.

Yeah. Does she have any business sharing Reagan Huckabee's phone number? Yeah, that's right. 16-year-old bratty high school girl. What is going on? Reagan Huckabee's huge. You can't – I hope Reagan Huckabee told you you have the wrong number. Go away.

No. Oh, my gosh. She was like – Oh, no. She was nice and took you in? Yeah. Oh. Yeah.

We need more pretension in this sport. Everyone thinks that their neighbor is going to be the next big CrossFitter. Reagan wasn't like, oh, this is bullshit. Shut up, PE teacher. How are the PE teacher and reagan huckabee connected how are they friends i don't remember honestly um was it a charity case was it was the p.e teacher like there's this poor girl alex gazan and she's had a really hard time do you think you could take her under wing or was like damn this bitch could fucking work she's the next crossfit games champ i think it started as a charity case okay okay good that makes me feel a little bit better and then like because at first i was just

like going to classes like i'd go to crossfit and they just like yeah come to classes um and then it was like a couple months in and they're like hey like you could be good at this. Who says that to you? All of them. Yeah. That's weird. I mean, because you know that's the thing, right? Everyone wants to go to the games. Everyone's going to be the next champ.

This is the craziest person I've ever seen. And then they're like, they can't swim. Oh, yeah. You know what I mean? It's like, listen, asshole, you're not going anywhere. Yeah. No, I think I remember, remember like squatting one morning, like doing front squats in one of the classes. And like Christine, who's one of the other coaches, she was like,

hey, have you ever thought about like the teenage CrossFit games? And like that was kind of like the start of like, oh. And then Karen and Reagan, like they kind of started like oh hey like you should come to open gym with us and so i started training with them like outside of class a little bit reagan's like a real adult right like she has like a kid and shit yeah she has two kids and they're my favorite i used to babysit them when i lived in oregon and like i think Maddie's still my screensaver, honestly. Like I love them so much. Yeah. She's, she's super duper, duper, duper impressive. Yeah.

And so, and so you go there and is there a point where you go from being in awe to start seeing them as peers? Honestly, not for a long time. Even before moving out to Vegas, I worked out with Regan in her garage a couple days. And I was like, yeah, she's still really freaking good. And Karen, too. Are you familiar with Karen McAdam? I'm not. But I'm one of those people who only cares about the three best people. I'm such a Fairweather fan but I'm like, I'm like one of those people, like who only cares about like the three best people. I'm like such a fair weather fan. You know what I mean? Yeah. Well, so she is

like the three best people just as a masters. Okay. I should know her. I disrespect the masters like an asshole. Okay. Well, she's like the, she's the coolest person. I've honestly, like if I could be anyone when I grew up, I want to be her. She's like, she has two, I'd honestly like if I could be anyone when I grow up I want to be her she's like she has two I'd say like two sides to her like you could probably go in her house and it's like does she have a son is the guy McLeod her son the guy who shit the bed on the on the on the yoke who is gonna go to the game okay okay she doesn't have kids um but like you could go into her house and it's like girly and like very well decorated and like super cute and like nice. And like, she could, she'd probably be like crocheting or some shit.

And then like at the gym, she has like, like some ACDC on and she's like, let's fucking go. Like, she's just like the coolest person. Um, and she's so good.

Like, so she kicked, she probably like kicked my ass up until maybe this last year. Like she's so good. Wow. Wow. She got an Instagram. I'm looking this last year. She's so good. Wow. Wow. Is she on Instagram? I'm looking for her thing.

No. She should be someone you interview because she doesn't do social media. She's very under the radar kind of gal. She has an Instagram. She just doesn't use it. It's Allie and Sarah is her Instagram name. And that username is her two cats. That's the kind of girl she is.

It's so cute. Look at her. I mean that's the kind of girl she is it's so cute look at her i mean this is how low profile she is even her games profiles her back hold on it's loading it's very oh no that's not that's not her oh is that how you spell her name uh karen mcadam oh mcadam sorry No, it's a problem. But yeah, look up her stats. Like she's like games. She's so good. So good.

Okay. So, so. Oh man, so many Karen McAdams. So when you, so you're training with them. How old were you when you moved to Vegas? I was, was I 20? I was 20. Or was it? Crap. I don't remember. I moved here in 2020. So I was

20, I think maybe 19. I was 19. I don't remember 19 or 20. So I apologize, but so when you're 16 years old, you want to go to the games and you, and you don't make it. And then you keep training from 16. Then what happens when you're then when you're 17, 18, 19 are those fucked up years right like like yeah and and and uh national champs and just all that shit yeah so 6 16 like i started when i was 16 almost 17 so i had like one full year like i did the open didn't even know what the open was really and then from that point i had like one full year of training before i tried as a teen. Didn't make it. So I was almost 18 at that point.

So I just like trained and like, I was just having fun. Like I loved it. So like, it didn't feel like. Did you have a coach? Did you have someone? I just trained with Karen and Reagan and Alex. Okay.

And who was Reagan's coach? She was still with Invictus. And no one over there was like yo alex stop fooling around no they didn't reach out to you okay they probably didn't know because she was a remote athlete yeah okay and this is all in hood that's where reagan hugginby this is all in hood okay yep um so we just fentanyl crisis probably is insane there oh really i don't know i don't know maybe okay um yeah you don't do drugs what do you know you're just you're just a crossfitter i don't you're square you're square you don't know shit hey i'll own it that's okay um what's he gonna say so we're we're we're so

we're just talking about your training yeah and, so we're just training. And are you getting better? Are you seeing shit get better? Are you like, oh, okay, my Helen time is going down. My Fran time is going down. My cleaning jerk is going up. Are you like, wow, I'm getting better? Yeah, for sure. I think that looking back, probably the biggest flaw was since I was just training with the girls and I didn't have a quote-unquote coach or I wasn't following my own program,

have like a quote unquote coach or I wasn't following like my own program. Um, I just like, wasn't consistent enough to like really hammer weaknesses. Like I would just show up on the days that I could or that I wanted to. Um, so I was how often, which was how often five days a week. Yeah. I went really often, but like, I probably would miss like a chest of our day once a week, or like I'd miss something every week. And I think like I just had a few holes that like took a long time to fill. But I was definitely getting better. Like if you,

I couldn't overhead squat the bar when I started like Karen, I remember mobility shit. Yeah. Like Karen and I joke about this all the time because I remember being in class and like we were doing a barbell warm-up and she was like okay guys like overhead squats with the bar and I remember looking at her and I was like Karen like my back is gonna break like I can't do this and she's like you're fine like your back won't break and like just like try to go as far as you can and like every time I would start to do one i was like

no my back is like gonna break um and it was like yeah so just like to see things like they definitely got better during that time interesting i wonder what why do you think that position was so hard on you the sports you played or um um probably a lot of like bench press from high school you bench pressed in high school we I did like the um lifting class that was like oh yeah your sophomore year you yeah yeah you got into the lifting class yeah hey were you stronger than the boys in there I have gosh, wait. I don't think it's on my Instagram. There's a video. I'll have to like zoom in and like,

maybe I'll post on my story and like tag you or something. But it was during like max week in my class. And the best part of the video is like, I finished my rep and you like go over and all these like little high school boys are just like. In high school or recently? Your most recent one. No, in high school.

Wow. Okay. Do you remember, were you able to do 135 in high school? Were you able to put the 45s on? I benched 225 in high school. It's bizarro world yeah um i i i one time i'm only five five but i but i would bench press like fucking crazy i just wanted to bench 225 once in my life just once just once i could do 135 fucking 30 times i just wanted to do and i got to 182 pounds. I was taking like just drinking the powdered creatine.

Yeah. And I trained so hard for six months. No. Never did it. And Jake, I don't want to hear shit. You can't bench 248 either. You can't bench 248 either. I'm waiting for his little comment to pop up.

Jake, let's take a break and look at... Can I go pee during this break? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Go pee. Yeah, peeing's totally fine. You should leave your phone outside the bathroom, though. Okay. Because it's a kid's show.

It's a kid's show. Okay. It's a kid's show. Jake Gazan. Oh, my goodness. We talked about elevated management.'s benji that's her guy we know she has a husband we talked about reagan huckabee can you imagine being introduced to the sport through reagan huckabee and how cool reagan huckabee would be to entertain that you would

think reagan would just be like hey i don't have time for this shit i got fucking kids a husband and i'm trying to make it to the crossfit games make me have to do some charity work but she did it and then and kudos to her uh born in hood river uh we didn't talk about this but she was introduced to crossfit her junior and senior year we actually did that was her gym coach who told her hey you should do crossfit and uh she wasn't interested in crossfit um she had heard about it from her dad and her dad poo-pooed it poo-pooed it i'm back okay hi what are we doing what are we talking about we talked about you while you were gone oh okay my ears were burning uh so when so then you you you you when you moved to Vegas at, at, at this time, do you, do you remember the first time you were like, Hey, I think maybe I want to go to the CrossFit games. I mean, I wanted to go to the CrossFit games since like not making it as a teenager.

Like it was like, okay, I didn't make it as a teen. Like now I want to go as an adult. Um, so yeah, I mean, it's always been there. I remember watching the documentary and that was like, what really was like, Whoa, I want to do that. And did you think you could, were you like, yeah, I believe in myself. Um, I mean, I definitely was like, yeah, I can at some point. I didn't, like I said, I didn't put a timeline on myself. So yeah, I always, you weren't like, I'll never be able to do what those girls do. No.

Sorry. I'm texting a friend. You went to the bathroom. I get to text a friend. I was literally about to go and just like have my phone like this, like put myself on mute. That would have been hardcore. I've done that so many times i oh i was on a podcast it hasn't came out yet but i was talking to my friend lindsey and i should have warned her like she asked me a question and i had it on mute and i was like i because it's not like a live podcast where you can see my face it was just like sound okay but she could see me because like we were still like chatting and i was like like say something else because i had it on mute i should have told her i felt bad oh so okay well wow wow uh hey what about being interviewed by your friends does that kind of

suck is that weird like no no no um when i interview my friends there's there's kind of like a fakeness to it oh like do you oh i have a question so when you interview your friends do you feel like they're being fake like you're like oh like that's bs like you're not actually like that no but there is a um no like so, like, so, so like I've known, I recently interviewed Dave and there's like a, it's real. It's as fake as I can be. It's as real as I can be, but there's a tinge of fakeness to it, especially in the beginning. Like when we break in. Yeah.

Because there's none of that. It's just like, I mean, I, we're just like i could go i mean i don't do this but i could just go to his house and go in his fridge and like get a sparkling water out and just leave like it doesn't matter it doesn't matter like there's no we don't have any formality right just like me and you you're just stuffing your face on the podcast like we've just we broke We broke it. I woke up at 7.30 and I was like, I got 30 minutes. I was like, I gotta go to the bathroom before we talk.

I gotta make food. I tried to eat before we talked, but I ran out of time. My food's just been sitting here. She's a games athlete. This is the ditzy side that Matt was talking about. Matt who? Matt, he called me ditzy on your podcast.

Oh, yeah, shit. That was hardcore. That made me feel uncomfortable, too. I didn't like that. I was like, okay, Matt, thanks. Yeah, do you have to whoop his ass for that? No. Hey, do you want me to tell you something?

Do you want me to give you some harsh criticism? Yeah, do it. I don't like this. And maybe I'm just sensitive to this because I'm a parent. But there's something you say in one of these posts about your parents. Okay, so there's this picture of you and your dad. Oh, here, I'll share the screen. There's this picture of you and your dad hugging, and it's nice.

You say, like, hey, my dad's been – he's a handsome man, by the way. He's a huge influence on my fitness. I like that. That's cool. But there's a picture somewhere where you're like, my parents have put me through a lot of hard times or something. I'm sure I've said that. Maybe I shouldn't, but yeah. I'm sure I've said that.

Maybe I should be, but yeah. And I just feel for them. Like at least in this show, it's in context, right? In this show, it's – you get to say – and I'm just being sensitive because I'm a parent. Yeah, no, I get it. Like it would fucking break my heart. I think – i think like parents want parent as much as you want your parents to be your hero your parents also you want your parents to be your hero but your parents also your parents kind of need affirmation from you like especially now that you're 20

yeah 100 and i like like like you're their product and i'm not saying you let your parents off the hook or something i'm just telling you like how it is as a parent you you're hoping at the end of the day your parents will be like, okay, you pass. As you go to heaven, here's your report card. You pass as a parent. No, I think that's like totally valid. And like, I try to be really sensitive if I am talking about like the stuff that I've gone through, because at the end of the day, like I don't want to disregard what I've been through just out of fear of hurting their feelings because like, that's not to me right like it's not fair for me to have to bottle it up so they're not embarrassed right right right i agree i agree and by the way you'll never be a

powerful human being if you do that you you are on the your course of freedom man you should pursue that but i also think like and i try to like make it you have it you have it you can be a superstar without ever winning the games you have it you are so special alex kazan yeah thank you so special yeah but like i try to like make sure it's clear that like i love the crap out of my parents if i didn't love them i wouldn't talk about this stuff like i probably would have wrote them off years ago like i would have been like just stay out out of my life. But because I do love them so much, I love BSing with my mom or my dad. I would still sleep in my mom's bed if I wasn't married, if I'm being honest with you. I slept in her bed until I left the house. I'm really close

with my parents. They're the first people I call if I have exciting news like I sent my dad the link to your podcast this morning like they're they made stupid mistakes but like at their core they're both like I love them so much and like they had you so young yeah yeah so I don't know I definitely don't want to like do them wrong I I guess I just struggle with the balance of like, how do I share my story and my feelings without making them feel terrible? Cause I don't want them to have to relive their mistakes, but also like, I need to process those feelings. So I don't know. That's a, it's like a hard balance.

And it makes you who you are. Yeah. It's like, um, it is interesting to hear you talk about food um i i cannot relate at all i have a horrible relationship with food i used to i used to have a really bad relationship with food and now you now you're like yeah i can just eat whatever i want and really the problem is i just don't eat enough and i'm like what the fuck like like I had Hunter McIntyre on yesterday and he has a gallon of guava nectar juice and he's just drinking it and if I did that you would watch me just get put on 30 pounds just right in front of you well to be fair Hunter and I are training like multiple hours a day yeah Yeah. Yeah. So like you kind of have to.

Yeah. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Of course. Of course. Yeah. It's just, you do, do you really have to consciously, like you say, have to just eat as much as you can? Um, no. You have ice cream every night? No. Like I enjoy food and like, I'm hungry. So like, it's not hard for me. Like some people I feel like don't have good appetite. So like, yeah, I'm just not hungry. Like I don't want to eat it. I like food.

I'd love to have that. God, please God. No, I like food. Like if it's in front of me, I usually eat it. Even if it's like not that great. I'm like, okay, like, yeah, I'm going to eat this. So it's not hard for me. I, I think the only time like I ever struggle maybe is when I revert back to like the mentality of like, Oh, I want to be lean and I want to be, um, like, I just want to look good, but like

CrossFit's all about performance. So you got to remember that. Man, you look so lean to me. Um, what. What was, when you said you used to have a bad relationship with food, what did that look like? Oh, my gosh. So, I did, like, the paleo. Did you ever throw up or any of that stuff? No. Oh. Thankfully.

So, I did, like, the paleo thing for a while. And, like, at that time, my relationship with food was really good. But it wasn't really healthy because. What's paleo? What's the paleo thing? That's where, like, you only eat shit like dinosaurs eat yeah okay but it wasn't healthy because if it was like chips made in coconut oil like i would eat the whole bag because it was like oh it's paleo like i can eat it or like pancakes with almond flour maple syrup like that's paleo um so like I just ate a lot of probably calories and like I wasn't big by any means um but I just ate a lot and then

at somewhere down the line I like heard like the low fat high carb thing for crossfitters but I didn't know any better so like I just pretty much eliminated all fats like I'd have a fourth of an avocado maybe with like egg whites veggies not cooked in oil like just like a little spray um rice like I didn't eat any fat so I got really lean like how did you get on that kick where did you learn that sorry I saw a mosquito fly by me you better keep going i think i just like heard it somewhere in the crossfit space like uh like high carb like lower fat i just didn't know what it meant though like because i never tracked macros or anything um so i just yeah i wouldn't cook with oil i pretty much ate egg whites and veggies like that's it

and like rice or like quinoa or something um I lost my period I got like nothing ever happened like I was still performing pretty good because I was still eating a lot of calories I just like wasn't eating fat Matt DeLugos wants to know if you ever get crumbs anywhere he already know yes i do i'm messy how long were you eating like that before you lost your period um oh gosh that's a good question probably probably three months four months is the conventional wisdom that not eating enough fat causes you to lose your period is that like could i just like look that up on the internet um yeah a lot of things can like not eating enough high stress um like not yeah not eating enough fat if your hormones are off um so another danielle brandon comparison i don't know if she lost her period but um she was eating like 1200 calories a day yeah oh yeah

we always like joke with her um about eating more like helping her eat more like oh eat your food um we all went to trader joe's one night before uh oh this was after like quarterfinals we were all gonna go have pizza at justin's and we went to trader joe's and i was like starving so i grabbed i went to the deli section and i grabbed like a big thing of deli meat and they were all like giggling at me and they're like of course like Alex grabbed the freaking deli meat like oh my gosh and um but now it's like a joke because now we're like gotta like eat your turkey why what's wrong with the deli meat what's wrong with the deli it was just like so random like we

were eating like sitting in a car like I'm there just like chowing down on this deli meat. Like all the snacks you could get at Trader Joe's. Oh, I approve. I approve. Yeah. She said she was eating 1200 calories a day and she had some incident on an assault bike where she just basically fucking turned off.

Yeah. I think she's doing much, much better now. Like it seems like she's always got her like oatmeal and all that stuff oh my gosh so on so many people are texting me right now they're like you're really underplaying your messiness because matt asked that stupid thing about crumbs are you messy yes i like show up with i don't know like i had frozen berries the other day and I had like blue stained hands and like, I don't know. I just, I am, I am.

You just kind of don't give a shit. You're on your own plane. Like in a good way, in a good way. I mean, it is a huge compliment. Hey, when you did that interview with, um, with Lauren Khalil, you were wearing a headset, you were on the field and you were wearing a headset. Where did you get that headset at? Uh, they handed it to me. Who handed it to you? I think Patrick.

Patrick Clark. Clark, yeah. Yeah, I need that headset. I want to know where they got that headset at. Was it nice? I think so, yeah. Was it wired into you? Did he hand you a phone also?

Yes, I was holding a phone and wearing the headset. And was the headset physically plugged into that phone? I think so, yes. Yeah, that's these fuckers. They're getting too good. It's genius. That's how you take over the games. You have like five people like that walking around with phones and headsets,

and you can just take over the games. You don't even need the games feed. You would just fucking over the games. You don't even need the games feed. You would just, you would just fucking steal the show and you get cool people like you and Patrick Valner on. And you would just, man, when you,

when you moved to Vegas, are you, are you like, aren't you like, okay, I guess my CrossFit career is over. I'm just going to get not Jake's going to knock me up. He's going to do the family business and I'm going to chill and raise kids. No. Um, I never thought like that. I was really upset

leaving Reagan and Karen. Sorry. Assuming your period came back from your no fat days. It did come back. It did come back. I hired it. What's that? Sorry. Before we talk, we get knocked up. What's that like losing your period? Does that suck? Uh, I was fine. Like that's the thing. Like that's mentally, you're not like, Hey, that's the thing like that mentally you're not like hey that's a part of like me as a girl like i need that no i was fine like i said i was performing fine like i was fine i just knew that like the road i was heading down and like the amount of time i spent thinking of food was not healthy and like i didn't want to like screw myself over like i didn't want to like be 20 or be 25 and have to eat like 1200 calories.

Cause if I ate anything else, then I'd like gain 20 pounds. You know what I mean? Who unfucked you? Who was like, who did you say? Oh my God, I'm on this diet with no fat and I don't have my period anymore. And I'm saving $18 a month on tampons. This is so cool. And someone's like, uh-uh girl.

Um, no, I reached out to, uh, Jen Ryan. She's, uh, with Invictictus you probably know who she is um and she's a nutrition coach so i reached out to her and we worked together for a while and you dig her yeah she's awesome i'm working with her right now again i just called her like a couple weeks ago because i was like hey games training's happening like i probably need to make sure that i'm doing the things i'm trying to see if I can see a picture of her to see if I, I'm so bad with names. Oh yeah.

She looks very familiar. Okay. So, so you get, so, and, and it just comes back. She gets you on the right.

As soon as you start eating the right shit, your hormones get kicked back into place and your period comes back. Yeah. It took a while. It took a few months, but it came back. and when was this this is right before covid okay and it's been two years steady you get it it's like you have a regular one i haven't missed it since wow that's awesome okay and now you go to vegas are you tripping? Don't you need your training partners?

Don't you need a Reagan Huckabee and Karen McAdams? Yeah. Jake's listening. He's probably like, yeah, she was like ridiculous. I was so upset. I was like, I don't want to move. Like I did want to move cause I wanted to be with Jake, but I didn't want to move. Cause like I had it so good. Like most people don't, um, they don't get to start their CrossFit endeavors with games athletes. And I had two of them and I also had other, like my best friend, Alex, like she was at the gym and she was super good.

Like I just had a really good crew. Um, and so I was like, and this was before Carrie and Justin were here. Like, so they weren't here yet. Um, so I was like, yeah, they weren't here yet um so I was like yeah they weren't in Vegas yet no weird who was in Vegas were there any athletes in Vegas um well I just started training out of my garage alone for a while like I was like okay like and then I was like okay this is boring like I need to go get a job like I I need to meet friends. So I like go job hunting and like this very, the last gym I go into, like I'm on my way home and I see this gym. I'm just going to

pop in here. Um, it's called Camp Rhino. I go in, I meet one of my good friends now, Kaylin. And I was like, Hey, like I need a job. And, um, we like sat and talked, had an interview, like on the spot. Um, so I started working for them and then I just would train with them. Like I'd go to the 1230 class, which was like, how do you tell someone, um, like, Hey, I'm not normal. I'm not a normal CrossFitter. Like you haven't established a name yet, but how do you be like, I'm just not, you have to understand one thing.

I'm not normal. I don't think I really did that. I was just more like, Hey, like i'm looking for people to train with and like um i would i yeah i mean i think they knew i wanted to compete um but is she sizing you up is she like okay turn around let me see hamstrings kaylin's a dude um is he sizing you up no i don't think so i mean i don't know i think god you're naive he definitely was sizing you up but good we'll talk about that later okay i naive okay i'm naive that's fine you can you can square and naive square all right yep i'll own that that's okay i'm naive to my own um dismay sometimes it's a good way to live me too it's a good way to live.

Me too. It's a great way to live. Kyra, okay. Well, no one knows where I live on the podcast. That's okay. Speaking of naive, let's just look at let's take a small break and let's look at this. Look at how the fuck does this happen? Let's look at this. Ladies and gentlemen, this is not

how you ride one of these things. Okay, you ready i would love to know how this happened right here okay here we go this is this is a one of those bull riding machines but someone put a shark skin on it instead of a bull now watch what happens to the great alex gazan future games champion. Here we go. You probably have to remove this from your Instagram after this. Look at that hair. Okay. I was a freshman in high school in this video.

Look at this right here. Oh. Did that guy do that to you on purpose? I don't know. Probably. Did you get hurt there? No. We were laughing so hard.

I cannot believe. Now, look, you're just trying to get off and then wham. Sit down, girl. Oh, my God. Okay, so you're training alone in Vegas and you get bored and so you meet Caleb. Kalen, yes. Kalen, who's a dude. Yes.

At Camp Rhino. Yep. And so I just start going. They have a 1230 class, which is like, it's called their coaches class. So all the coaches work out. They made it a class because, like, they're all really funny. And, like, they'll just, like, goof off for an hour if they don't have, like, structure. just like goof off for an hour if they don't have like structure so uh him john and brent who are the owners of the gym i just started working out with them in class and um it was really fun and then there's two locations so there's the north location which is like close to where i live

and then they have a location south which is like 30 minutes are they crossfit gyms are they affiliated camp one of the locations is affiliated the other one isn't. But they do CrossFit and then they also do bootcamp classes. So you kind of have like a little bit of variety and like, there's people that are there for CrossFit, but then you also just have people that are just trying to get a workout in. Like strippers are in the bootcamp class. No, I feel like bootcamp's more like, I feel like it's a lot of like older people that are maybe afraid of like barbells and things like that.

Okay, old strippers. I love it. Yeah, so I started working for them. Sabrina Adderbaum, she's with Underdogs as well. We became good friends. She's a coach at the South location. So I started training with her too. Um, and we all did like the forged by Zeus track. So I started following that with everybody. The forged by Zeus. Is that a camp Rhino track? No forged by

Zeus is Tim Paulson's, uh, and, um, Dave Dave's like programming. Who's Dave? What's his last name? Forged by Zeus. Zeus Boulders is Instagram. All right. And how did you get turned on to them? Someone at Camp Rhino was already doing them. They were already following.

Yeah. Okay. And that's the guy's got that body doesn't even look real climbing that rope. Okay. So you do this program with them and uh are you the are you the best girl in the group are you the best person in the group are you better than all the dudes and girls and you're like all right this i'm i'm ready to graduate from this these peasants i didn't let's be honest no one's listening everybody's listening um no i mean like i definitely like knew i like i was good um it

was brent actually so one of the guys at the gym that was like hey you're too good for us like at this time carrie was there and he knew he knew when you put up 225 he's like this girl's got to go yeah he was like you're too good for us. Like, you should go work out with Carrie. And I was like, I'm not going to go. Oh, so everyone knew she had moved to Vegas? Had you known that she had moved to Vegas at that point? Were there like rumblings in the community?

Yeah, yeah. And where was she? CrossFit culmination. Tell me about that, how you first hear about that, that Carrie Pierce showed up to town. Carrie Pierce, best American CrossFitter who ever lived. Fair? Yeah. Very fair. Okay. I don't remember the first time I heard.

Besides Rich Froning. I mean, as a female. Yeah. I don't remember the first time I heard. I think it just was like, kind of like started becoming news or like people knew about it. I think Karen actually probably told me honestly. She was like, guess who's moving to Vegas? Because Karen's not on social media, but she's like super into like your podcast, Hiller Fit. Like she loves the like. Karen McAdams. Yeah, she's she loves all like the info and like not the drama, but like, yeah, but I guess the drama.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Karen McAdams. I guess the drama. The drama, let's say. Okay. Karen McAdams. I'm putting a star by her name, Good Lady. Yeah, no, she's a very good lady. So even though she's up in hood, she calls you or texts you and is like, yo, Carrie Pierce just moved to your fucking neck of the woods. Yeah. And I think she told me too.

She's like, you should go train with her. I was like, yeah, I'm not going to just show up and be like, hey, I'm Alex. Let me train with you. That's just, I don't know. That's not how I go about things. I don't think Bethany and Danielle were there quite yet. Anyway, long story short, Brent, my friend, he was kind of talking to this girl named Mel, who's one of my friends. Does Jake ever get jealous we've navigated that like i think we'll come back to that we'll come back i'll soften you up on that i can elaborate like okay please do you want to go now or come back yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i think like there's like this i don't know it's kind of hard like there's this this, I don't know. It's kind of hard. Like there's this balance, right. Of like trust where it's like, I never want him to even have to feel jealous just because he trusts me so much. Um, but at the end of the day, like if you're hanging out with guys 24 seven, like I

understand, like, I understand it's hard to not, especially because like the way we met we fell in love doing CrossFit like we we bonded over CrossFit and so I think part of like there was a time where he was like hurt he wasn't able to work out very much um I'm out here like working out with all these guys and like that was a little bit of a struggle because we didn't have that thing that we bonded over originally and like it was just hard i don't even know how to word it right like there was so young and you're in a very virile is that a word i don't know virile environment yeah like virile i think that was that yeah there was that insecurity and like we had to work through it and figure out like how to navigate it. And I'm sure like it could still come up, but I feel like now like we're just in such a good spot. There's this like quote or thing that I saw that was like, you know how like people would say like the grass is greener on the other side.

Yeah, yeah. But like the grass is green where you water it. greener on the other side yeah yeah um but like the grass is green where you water it and like i feel like we've done a really good job of just making sure like our relationship just like at point blank like him and i is really good so that way when you are apart for like weeks at a time like i'm not filling those if there's empty holes in your relationship like you usually look to fill those elsewhere but like if you can make sure that's filled, like I'm not out looking for attention from guys. Cause like,

I get that from Jake and I'm not looking for like guys. Do you have a wall up to that energy? Do I what? Do you have a wall up to that energy? Oh, like, do I just like not accept like flirting or whatever? Yeah.

Like I spent a shitload of time around rich froning. There's no open energy for women to come into it. He's just like the same dude to everyone. Yeah. And I knew him when he was young and I was like, wow, this is really fucking impressive. Like he just has like a, and I, and like, and I remember, I remember there being a point in my life where I put,

I wouldn't say just a wall. Maybe it is a wall. Just like where it's like, hey, I'm no longer, I avoid those situations. Yeah, I have a wall up to it. But I didn't for the longest time, even when I was, had a girlfriend. Yeah, that's a good question. I feel like I'm probably working on it. I'm very friendly.

And I enjoy conversations. And as you can see like a lot of the names i've mentioned like are dudes and um it just so happened like when i went to camp rhino like all my friends were dudes um and like it's an intimate environment yeah and like me and matt are really good friends and uh like i feel like maybe I'm just so not – maybe I am naive to the point like I just don't think about it that way. Like I'm like, oh, these are just my friends and like I don't look at it in like a sexual way or like a flirtatious way. That's a good – I like that naiveness. That's a smart way to be. But I get it.

Like I mean people can perceive things any way they want to and um but how would you how would you feel if he had like 10 girls he was constantly texting that he about scheduling workouts with it would be like i was just thinking like my like i i'm i have this huge world and my wife is pretty focused and i act like so cool like i've never been jealous of my wife is pretty focused and I act like so cool. Like I've never been jealous of my wife. But just now I was thinking, holy fuck, what if my wife spent all – what if my wife was me and I was her? Yeah, I mean –

Not even jealous like in the sexual way. Just be like, fuck, man. Like you have a lot of really – like I have a ton of intimate relationships. Yeah. Like I'm building one with Hunter McIntyre in front of the whole world right now. And it's like, fuck. Like, hey, dude, you? You haven't talked to me that much in two weeks. Yeah, no, I get that a lot. And especially like, because he is gone like four months out of the year. Like he leaves. Why, why, where's he going? Where's he going? He does. So the business that his dad owns that he like is trying to take over,

they do fire prevention. So they they go they work for the city of calabasas and like oh wow pepperdine and they go and like these are very rich towns people these are very wealthy towns that she just mentioned like beyond like normal wealth pepperdine is like it's like 12 million dollars for a shack yeah i'm not joking calabasas is where the kardashians and justin bieber and and live okay sorry i just wanted people to know that no yeah whenever i go to visit him i'm like wow this is so gorgeous like yeah it's crazy um so serious fire areas though serious fire areas yeah something fucking someone throw a cigarette out the window and the whole place is gone something cool there was a big fire a couple years ago and the whole area that they did was like protected like the

fire went like around it um oh that's awesome which was really cool uh so he's gone for four months and like like straight in a four-month chunk yeah i mean like we'll see each other like i'll try to go up there every couple few weeks or he'll come and visit me um but it's like weeks where we're not like seeing each other. So like, I can totally, I can totally understand. And like,

I would be a hot mess. Like I would be like, he's with all these girls. I'm out here working like, and his job's not fun. Like he's like in the trenches, like in the hot sun, like sweating his ass off, like cutting weeds all day like that's not fun

and like i'm out here yeah unless you're doing unless he's doing it with girls in bikinis um yeah babe maybe you should look into that um if you're listening change don't change the attire for the staff oh but the staff's all dudes um I bet you they're real lookers too. Oh yeah. Yeah. And like, I'm here like, yeah, CrossFit's hard, but like I'm having fun. Like I'm going to the gym and like hanging out with people and like, yeah, there's a lot of dudes around.

So I totally like, I understand where like maybe insecurity or jealousy could stem from. But like I said, like my goal is just to like, make him feel so secure in our relationship that he doesn't have to think about that. Um, so I don't know. I don't, I'd rather not waste energy. Like, Oh, I can't talk to this guy cause it's going to look like this. And people, people are going to think this cause like, who cares? Like people are going to think what they want to think. Like, I agree. I don't know. think this because like who cares like people are going to think what they want to think like i agree i don't know i agree so but but it is real it that the situation is real you're you're in an environment where it's just these fucking humans pushing their expression of their dna to

the fucking greatest expression on the planet and you're all young and young people that's what they do they make well that's what people do they make so yeah no like yeah of course like at competitions at gyms like you're gonna see cute like hot people and i'm sure like in calabasas like jake's gonna see like a girl walking by oh he sees so many hot girls calabasas is nuts but it's about having that respect for each other like okay like yeah i acknowledge that person is really hot or whatever but like that's it like you don't sit there and like oh like you don't start thinking about them and you don't start like you don't let yourself and do that yeah yeah it's good you have a good head on your shoulders. This book I'm reading, Championship Mindset by Bob Rotella. He says that these three things that really successful people all have in common. They are concerned, they take care of their health. They are, the family is a priority to them.

And then the third thing is whatever their practice is, right? So for you, it would be your health, making sure you're eating right, sleeping well, and yours kind of like crosses over. And then because of your practice, that's important for your practice, which is being an athlete. And then the other thing is your family and your family is, um, your, your, you know, your mom, your dad, your brother, and Jake. Yeah. And all your, and all your hot aunties.

Oh yeah. All my hot aunties. I love them so much. I'm trying to get my mom to send my brother down here for like a weekend. Guess who his girlfriend is? Who? So last time my mom came with my brother, I had Ashley, Justin's wife and his daughter come hang out. Oh wow. Because they're the same age. They're both five. Yeah. And it was the cutest thing. Like, they both have really high energy and, like, are very, I'd say, like, outspoken,

just, like, do what they want kind of thing. Yeah. And they were so cute. Like, they, like, held hands. They're five. They're little, like, playing. Anyway, my brother is, like, quite the womanizer. And my mom told, she told me this yesterday she was like because i was like hey like you should bring london down um ashley

and justin are going to come stay with me for a little bit until they move into their new house i was like because ivy's gonna like be here and like it'd be cool if they could like hang out and uh the coach and his wife and his kid are coming to live with you yeah wow um but she was like oh yeah like london was talking to uh his friend the other day and he was like yeah my girlfriend she lives in las vegas wow with my sister wow uh when um you would take your brother with your mom not around for several days oh i would love to i mean like have you ever done that um i've watched him for like a couple nights before but i've never had him i've never had him here in vegas alone i don't know like that might be a lot for him i don't know yeah that's that's cool and that might be a lot for you

yeah i don't know i like i love him and i miss him a lot so i i put up with it damn you're a good sister thanks so you find out about carrie pierce and through through mick mcadams the great mcadams and how do you how do you finally just be like, okay, I'm going to go over there and train with her. So Brent, he was talking. Brent is not Benji. Who's Brent? No, Brent is one of my friends at the gym. So. Oh, the one who told you, Hey, you're too good for us.

Yeah. Okay. He was like, one day he was like, I have an in for you. And I was like, oh my gosh, like, what do you mean? And he was like, one day he was like, I have an in for you. And I was like, oh my gosh, like, what do you mean? And he was like, well, oh, he's so proud. I could hear the way he said it. He's so proud. I like it. Yeah.

Um, he was talking with this girl, Mel, who's now one of my friends. Um, she works out at culmination. Um, but Mel knew Carrie and like, they had been working out together a little bit. And so he was like, Hey, I know this girl, Mel, who's friends with Carrie. Like you should just talk to Mel and see if you guys can like go work out. And I was like, okay, like I'm a little more comfortable, like reaching out to Mel. Like I'm not as scared. Had you met Mel before?

No. Okay. But I was like, but if she knows Brent, like I really like Brent's a good dude. So if like Brent talks to someone or like someone like they're probably a good person too. Yeah. So I just reached out to Mel and I was like, Hey, like my friend Brent like gave me your number and I'm just kind of looking

to like maybe switch up my training environment. Like I don't really give a shit about you. Can you get me with Carrie? No, I did not say that. A little more tact, a little more tact. Yeah.

Cause Mel's great. Mel was awesome. What's Mel's last name? I don't know. Okay. Is she old school? Has she been around forever? She's, how old is she?

I think she's, I don't know. Her and DB are good friends. Oh, then it must not be the same Mel I'm thinking of. Okay. I was thinking of this Mel. Okay. Okay. Go on.

Yeah. So I essentially just planned a day to like go and show up and i showed up and carrie do you think they warned carrie were they like hey carrie some strange girls come and work out with us today i don't know maybe okay but like i introduced myself and like carrie was so nice like i obviously i didn't expect her to be mean but like i didn't expect her to be like as nice as she was. Cause like people can be nice, but she was like actually like asking me questions.

Like you could tell she was genuinely, um, present in like your conversation. And, um, yeah. So I worked out with her and then she was like, yeah,

just like come anytime. And so I started kind of dropping in sporadically. And this is at CrossFit Culmination. And when she said, did you get her phone number that first time? Oh, I think so. I can't remember. Like it was within a couple of times that I got her number. The second time you go, do you just, do you, does someone tell you, hey, we're going to

work out or do you just go in there hoping to see her again? No, I definitely like just would text her like, hey, are you working out today? Or like, hey, can I just, do you, does someone tell you, Hey, we're going to work out or do you just go in there hoping to see her again? No, I definitely like just would text her like, Hey, are you working out today? Or like, Hey, can I work out with you? Like that kind of thing. So hopefully, hopefully I wasn't annoying. Cause like I've had people do that with me and I'm like, okay, explain that. So what is it about some people you don't want to be like, like, uh, you don't want to be bugged about. It's not that you don't want to be like like uh like you don't want to be bugged about it's not that you don't want to be bugged but like you don't i mean if some people are like far below your skill level like you don't mind if they're working out with you but you don't want to feel like you're like

oh now we're going to do this this is how you do it um you don't want to have to like coach while you're working right does that make sense right um you're training yeah and i didn't want to have to like coach while you're working. Does that make sense? Right. You're training. Yeah. And I didn't want her to feel like that way about me at all. So like, I was like kind of nervous, like to ask her or like be annoying. But I mean,

I just figured like if she didn't want me to, she could just not respond. Yeah. Is that kind of the way to do it? What do you mean? Like if you text someone and they don't respond, they just don't respond to them. No, I mean, I've never like ignored someone, but I was like, if I don't know,

like I just expect people to be honest, I guess. So if she didn't want to work out, then I don't know. And this same friend keeps calling me over and over. Just answer it. I don't know. Maybe I can't. I am on a podcast it won't be it's a it's a it's tom cruise and everyone will lose their mind if they find out i'm friends with them okay i'm gonna unplug headphones and plug my phone in so it doesn't die okay can you still hear me husband's out of town a couple months a year because he works in calabasas okay check got that yeah i can hear you okay no wait um

we talked about uh oh so so a lot of athletes are afraid to be interviewed like during the competition uh-huh maybe maybe afraid's not the word but like jason hopper has rules matt fraser won't let him do it but like you did it i think um, and I think we wanted to interview Emma Lawson and her agent reached out to me and said, stand down. And, um, but like you did it and, and, and Kotler was encouraging of it. Patrick Vellner is just a beast. Um, Rich does it. Um, do you have, what's your deal with that?

Do you like it? I don't, yeah. I mean, I don't know. I feel indifferent. Like, I think, too, like, it kind of feels like a little bit of, like, I don't know. It's, like, exciting attention, right? Like, you're like, wow, I did really good, and now all these people want to talk to me. But maybe it's a distraction during the competition. Oh.

I think Vellner uses it in a good way. You know, like, in between day one and two at Guadalupalooza, he's just sitting at a restaurant eating, talking to us. But I feel like he uses it for like meditation or therapy. Yeah. I don't think it's like, it doesn't have to be distraction. Like it's kind of a good way to reflect. Like, cause people ask you questions, right? They'll ask you like deep questions that you have to think about or like

insightful questions. And so it's like a way of maybe processing the information. Yeah. So you think you'll keep doing that? Yeah. I don't see why not. As long as it's like, not like annoying,

like time-wise, like if I need to go like eat or something or like chill. Right. Right. You're right. Right. Or, or,

but, but, but P you'll take the interviewer in the room, chill or eat. You need your own time peeing, you will take the interviewer in the room. Yep, yep, that's me. remember where he contacted me, but he basically, I don't know if it was through DMS or I guess it would have had to have been through DMS, but he basically said, yo, that's my wife, uh, Alex Kazan, you know, like he was like, like in a sweet way, like it was really cool. I guess I had said something about you somewhere. I posted something about you and, uh, yeah, I thought it was really

cool. It reminded me of like how I feel about my kids yeah that's my kids oh i love that uh your dad was a gym rat we talked about that your husband's uh oh all of these things that we talked about about that have happened in your past do you think that it's given you a pathology i'm gonna i'm gonna make i'm gonna read the definition of this word to you. Pathology. Pathological features. Typical behavior of disease. These aren't good definitions. This isn't exactly how I'm going to – do you think that you have an issue and that this thing sits underneath it and burns for you. And that's what fuels your desire. Um, like maybe it could be, you're running away from this thing, or it

could be that you have a chip on your shoulder, but like you talk to these people. I interviewed Jason Kalipa and I'm like, Hey, what, what happened to you when you were younger? That's driving you. And he fucking had this pretty crazy story about, uh, at his high school graduation, the principal alluded to the fact in front of his whole graduating class that he's an idiot. And he's like, fuck you. I'll show you. Rich Froning had two of his fucking closest, you know, relatives and friends growing up die. His two cousins die.

I think maybe both in car accidents. Wow. And so like, and you know, and Matt's a recovering alcoholic from when he's 17 years old and he's got the serenity prayer on his arm yeah um it almost feels like you can't like if you grew up in a cookie cutter world you're fucked like you have to you need you need a good fucking curb stomping kicking the balls to be a great person i don't know if that's true all right i mean i've met people that like seem to come from good families that are like good hearted, like Matt's one. Not good hearted.

Not good hearted. I'm talking about becoming the best. Well, yeah. Being great. I'll use Matt as an example. Like I met his parents. His parents are lovely. And like, unless there's some deep, dark secrets that like, I don't know.

There's something in there with Delugos. Maybe not. Maybe there's some deep, dark secrets that like, I don't know. There's something in there with DeLugos. Maybe not as soon. Maybe there's something in there. But what I'm saying though, is like, he's an example of like maybe coming from a more like a well-rounded household. I don't know. That means he won't be great. That means he won't be great. That's not true. I know more.

I have some friends who like have came from back home in oregon that like have good like households and i think they'll do great things okay i mean i think i think adversity does create like a sense of like not urgency that's the wrong word but like you almost want to prove to yourself you can do something like beyond what you came from but i don't think it's like you have to have something bad happen to you it just helps yeah marilyn and bob came over to pray for your mom. Oh, it sounds like, it sounds like a children's book. Yeah. And through their example,

you wanted to share some of their habits in order to, when you see someone who has certain habits, you're like, okay, I'll pick up those habits too, because I see what the outcome is. And you believe that something you see in them comes from their habits of being devout Christians. Is that fair? Yeah. Have you had an experience? Have you had one spiritual experience that's the most profound spiritual experience you've had?

Like you're like, oh God, I need to find a book of matches right now. And then a book of – you reach into your pocket and there's a book of matches. That's a good question. That's the first time you've said that to me. And I really – in your other interviews, that's a common response you've had. But that's the first time in this show where two hours and four minutes in, we can pretty much wrap it up now. Thank you for coming on the show, Alex. That's a good question in the sense of, like, I feel like I have a couple of different answers.

Like, one wasn't like a, wow, like, that just happened moment. But it's one that I've, like, reflected on lately. And it's with my childhood because people will be like, wow, how did you turn out normal? And it's with my childhood because people will be like, wow, how did you turn out normal? And like the only answer that I can give is like, I feel like God protected me through that. Like, because I know so many people that went through the same thing or went through other hard things and they felt the need to like play victim and they felt the need to miss school or they felt the need to like feel sorry for themselves and not get their homework done or not go to work and I never felt that like yes I felt really

shitty and like I felt sad and like I was tired or whatever but like there was always like this prompt like a prompt in me like hey Alex like you need to like be a good person. Like, I don't care if you're upset, like be nice or like do your homework, go to lacrosse. Like I, like, like you said, like, I can't lie. I, I feel very morally convicted all the time. And like, I feel lucky about that. Like, that's like, I don't think everyone has that. And I feel like that's not necessarily always something you're like in control of. So that's one answer.

Like that's not like an aha moment. And then like, of course, like little things, like just the way stars align, like the fact that my school teacher gave me that phone number on that day. Like what if I didn't go to school that day? You would have never met Jake either. Yeah. And that's another thing. Like I met Jake through CrossFit. Like my whole life has kind of changed from that moment.

And then like at the same, I met Marilyn and Bob at that same time that I started CrossFit. Like all of these things happened at that time. same time that I started CrossFit. Like all of these things happened at that time. But like, as far as like a, maybe like an answered prayer, I've, I've had a lot of prayers. Like I'll use my parents as an example. There's been a lot of times where like they should have been in jail. Like, for example, like, my dad had, like, a ton of DUIs, and, like, he should have went to jail for, like, one of these, and I remember, like, praying and just, like, like, God, please, like,

how, like, how does he get out of this? And, like, a couple days later, like, his lawyer found some sort of, like, loophole. And, like, the charges for that particular DUI were just, like, dropped. And it was, like, whoa. Like, that's crazy. I mean, there's been, like, lots of little things like that. Like, I feel like I've had many prayers answered. Maybe not right away. But, like, looking Like, I feel like I've had many prayers answered. Maybe not right away, but like looking back, like definitely. There's this, there's this cartoon. I was just looking for it. I can't find it. And it's, and it's a guy

saying it's a guy walking in the sand. I'm not going to do it justice. I apologize. It's a guy walking in the sand. I'm not going to do it justice. I apologize. It's a guy walking in the sand. Mm-hmm. And there's only one set of footprints. Mm-hmm. And he says something like, God, I wish you were with me. Mm-hmm. And then in the next picture, you basically see that it's like,

it's not his footprints in the sand. It's God carrying him or Jesus carrying him. I love that. Yeah. And like the first one, you're like, yeah, where's the second set of footprints for the help? Yeah. It's a really cool, powerful.

It's a really cool, powerful image. There was this thing that Greg used to say. I wish I could remember exactly how he said it. But he used to say if you start doing CrossFit, you're either going to switch jobs or you're going to get a raise at your job. And if you start CrossFit, your relationship is going to get better or you're going to get out of it. And there was a third thing he would say but there is there is something um with this group of people um and and i it's funny because i used to try to talk to um greg and lauren about this about how there is a through oxygen deprivation enforced oxygen deprivation, you go through a spiritual practice because every time

you go through oxygen deprivation, your mind comes to a standstill. It's a forced meditation. So you can't have problems and be doing a hundred burpees, no matter what. It doesn't matter what happened. If you do a hundred burpees as fast as you can, those problems will subside for a second because you will, you'll start to be concerned about your own existence through your own, through your own breathing. So through this constant people pushing themselves, there's a spiritual evolution that's happening to us as a group, whether you like it or not, you're being forced to pass through a moment of stillness where I believe God exists. Yeah. I love that. So, so I do, that that it's it's a powerful mechanism when you have a lot of

people who are on the path together it's a very very powerful uh i i i think two candles burn brighter than one yeah yeah so anyways and it's really cool and and um and i think through i think through sports and movement and and and and your ability to reflect on that, you're kind of living proof of that. Thank you. And I think as you get older, that will be revealed to you why you didn't feel sorry for yourself. And you'll be able to share that with the world. And so many kids will benefit from that. You know?

Yeah. Anyway. Okay. Well, two hours and 10 minutes you were wonderful wow that went by really fast one bathroom break um what's next for you you you you get your shit together and when do you go to madison uh do you have your tickets yet yeah i think I think I leave the 30th. 30th of July. Oh, shit. And when are the games?

The 3rd. Oh, shit. Yeah. Okay, so it happens fast. And they haven't even done the last chance qualifier yet. No, that's next week. So Kay Best or Christine Best. How glad are you you don't have to do that shit?

Very glad. I just think, like the the up from granite games and then the down and up and the down the up and the down like for the athletes that make it from the last chance qualifier like that's a lot they're just asking a lot of their adrenal system um i'm glad you said that i always wanted to say something smart like that yeah it just seems too much yeah it's but i mean nonetheless like i think as athletes like people will be able to adapt um yeah christine best is coming down so her and matt will do the um qualifier next weekend um i'm excited i'm really excited to like cheer him on why not go go to Madison a little bit earlier? Why not? Like,

so, so why go on July 30th? If the, if the game starting through, why not go on? Is it better just to stay at home and keep training at home in your own environment? Like I would feel anxious and want to go there like 10 days early and really

get acclimated. Right. Okay. I forgot about the money. Yeah. When you're rich like me, you don't think about shit like that. Sorry.

All right. Yeah. I'm not rich yet. Yeah, you you're rich like me, you don't think about shit like that. Sorry. All right. Yeah. I'm not rich yet. Yeah. You will be, you will be. It's so fun. So fun. Then you get to be poor again. Okay. Thank you so much. You're so welcome. Thank you for having me. Unfortunately for you, I have your phone number and I'll be bugging you. Love it. Yeah. I never take offense when people don't reply to me. So if that does work with me and it won't mean that I won't keep bugging you um love it yeah i never take offense when people don't reply to me so if that does work

with me and it won't mean that i won't keep bugging you so okay all right girl thank you so much yeah everyone the great alex kazan thanks for sharing your story until the until the games do i click leave or do you know watch i'm gonna push this button i just kick you from the studio bye and she's gone doesn't she need to go early to get used to the e coli in the water dang ruthless another awesome podcast how do you pronounce your name eric justin i saw somewhere in there that you're nine years sober by the way congratulations i wanted to say congratulations to you for that. Oh, no. Jungle List Drums. This guy.

Congratulations. What do you guys think? Good show, huh? Hey, tomorrow I have Dale Saran on. This one, that's going to be just an incredible podcast. I'm telling you, I had him on the CrossFit podcast. It's a blast. He may be one of the smartest human beings I have ever met. He got some Ashkenazi Jew in him. He was general

counsel for CrossFit. If you don't know what that is, look up the word general counsel. And he was also the lead attorney on a lawsuit against the United States government when they were experimenting with the anthrax vaccine on the soldiers and he also has another massive class action lawsuit going now against the united states in regards to the covid vaccine he's got last i heard over 500 soldiers on board um it is going to be a fun podcast i have no idea actually what we're going to talk about it's going to be all over the place he's so fun he's done it all. This guy, uh, I want to say probably 400 pound by back squat, maybe 500 pound. He's probably the same height as me. Um, he did that thing where you dress up as nights and you beat the shit out of each other with real axes and real clubs. Uh, he's a high level jujitsu

practitioner. Uh, he is a cool, cool, cool dude. He's a father of three four daughters um the ceo shirt you will you can go to vindicate uh let me see if i can find that let me see if i can find that v and d k 8 is that vindicate seven podcast okay and you can also go to our website if you're not signed up for our newsletter you should not signed up for our newsletter, you should really sign up for our newsletter. It's fun. It's not like it's fun. I mean,

it's just, it's just like the show. It's just wisdom and crassness. Oh, we have no plan B shirts coming out. I'm super stoked. We have these American CEO shirts coming out, which I'm super stoked.

I want to apologize very briefly. Let's take a page out of the dave castro book i want to apologize for just the fucking enormous amount of shit talking i've done to your um european countries and canada and australia you have to understand i understand that the united states is fucking a mess too i'm just spewing venom everywhere and i apologize but i just get a little i get a little irk sometimes when um from Denmark is talking about gun laws when you live in a tiny, tiny little country. So I just start spewing venom all over Europe. And I apologize.

I'm not trying to alienate you or be condescending. So you can order these shirts. This is on – you can order these shirts from Vindicate. We have two different people providing shirts, vndk8.com. And don't order the Hiller shirts. Skip over the Hiller collection, which is also on here. Oh, man, those are nice. Oh, don't show his.

And then – or you could go to thesevonpodcast.com. Is that my website? Thesevonpodcast.com. Is that my website? Thesevonpodcast.com. And there's merchandise on here somewhere. Shop. And these are really nice shirts too. Oh, there's a purple one now. Oh, and there's girls shirts.

Holy shit. Okay. Okay. I think we need a CEO tank top. Oh, and there's girls' shirts. Holy shit. Okay. Okay. I think we need a CEO tank top. I was chatting with Talena Fortunato, and I think she suggested that. Maybe I'll talk to Marcus about that. This shirt's crazy.

This women's muscle tank, man, it looks amazing on my wife. Women love that. Anyway, okay. Hope that answers your question. What else? Stop screen share. Crop tops, I might need, no, not, no crop tops. Oh man, someone, my comments lit up. I posted Bruce Wayne in a crop crop top so many people wanted me to

attack mr wayne for his attire which i refuse to do okay guys i will see you tomorrow uh i soon glassman is coming on soon i think soon i mean i thought it would be january 1st and now it's june 23rd but I, but I, I suspect at, um, I suspect it'll be sooner than later. Hey, I'm one shave away from being that young seven again. All right,

guys, time to go play with the kids. I will talk to you guys later. Peace.