The Sevan Podcast - #709 - Garrette Glinton | The story you have to hear

Episode Date: December 17, 2022

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Let's go seize the night. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Visit amex.ca slash yamex. Benefits vary by car and other conditions apply. Bam, we're live. 6.58, two minutes early. God, it feels good to be home. Yesterday was my first show back at home.

I was out of town doing the show from a kitchen in Newport Beach for the last two weeks. I know, I saw that. That background was, was weird. I missed the couch. Yeah. I saw someone said that last night in the comments. There we go.

Everything's normal. Everything's right again. Um, thank you everyone for joining in this morning. Uh, this is probably, uh, one of the shows that I'm most excited that I've ever done. I don't know if I've ever started a show saying that. conversation. I asked her if we could take it to text and we have slowly built a friendship that's gone beyond just the show and just kind of texting each other throughout the day. Good morning, Matt.

Morning. We've built a friendship and one of the things about me that gets reminded to me, you know, periodically is just how much I love people and love hearing their stories. I was walking down the street the other day in Newport Beach and I heard a guy just tell another guy his life story. And I kind of started like I went over to go sit close to him just because I wanted to hear his life story. And what's what I really like about Garrett's story is two things. It's an amazing story of adversity at a level that I don't think most human beings will ever have to deal with. insight into people who just have no fucking clue that are quick to judge and have no idea what adversity will do to people and the choices that they have to make to overcome that adversity because when you go through adversity there become like two primary pathways

of dealing with it right you can run from it or you can face it. And I think a lot of us run from it. And that's what we're seeing in society today. And being surrounded, what really got me really, I mean, there's so many pieces to the story that get me. But one of the things she said in the text exchange we had is that she was lucky to be surrounded by good people who helped her face it as opposed to run from it and run from it means, um, uh, instead of dealing with it, you go to the refrigerator and eat something, for example, or, um, you know, that, that would be the most mundane thing that I think most of us are, are familiar with it as opposed to going inward and kind of like facing, oh shit, this is going to be a reoccurring thought. And well, here's another way of running from it. You're addicted to cigarettes. Instead of dealing with that addiction, you just keep

smoking more cigarettes. And so we're in a time, I think on the planet, at least basic on the things that I've been focused on is that a lot of people are running from it. And unfortunately the people who've run from it and dealt with these problems from running from it are also now facilitating that other people run from it. And most importantly, they're, they're helping kids run from their problems instead of deal with these issues. And I don't want to say I, um, I, I'm, I'm extremely proud of the show. She sent me a text and I read it to my mom and I told her it was the crowning achievement of this show because through listening to the show, um, it jostled some of her thinking, um, to, uh, to maybe look at things, uh, differently. And so I was just extremely like tickled by that. look at things uh differently and so i was just extremely like tickled by that is that a characterization you've challenged me for a long time um why would you keep listening why wouldn't

you just like well are you glutton for punishment yeah she likes torture um no i mean i i always watched you way back when you used to do the CrossFit podcast. And, and honestly, I think the Stacey Tovar, uh, interview that you did, like my wife loved that interview. And I loved that interview. And I thought it was an amazing interview for women, just athletic women, uh, moms, like the whole nine yards. And so when it came out that you were getting crap for that I was like what and so I just kept you kept saying stuff that just used to piss me off to no end but like

I knew you're a good dude and I liked your crossfit content and I like 99% of what you know it was just that one percent I was like, Oh, step on. And I think I DM'd you so many times, like, dude, really? And you would never, you didn't answer me to begin with, but then you started answering me. Well, you, you've helped, you've helped me a lot too, because it's one thing to talk about it from far away. And as we get to know you today, it's another thing to be like, hey, dude, these are real issues. It's not just fucking like, hey, it's not easy. It's easy for me to sit here on my show and be like, hey, what the fuck?

Can't you see it this way? But it's another thing when it's your life. Well, I was raised by my grandparents for the most part. My grandfather, Marine Corps to the end. There's no ex-Marine. You're Marine. You're always a Marine. And conservative, hardcore conservative.

Every day was Fox News was on the television show. Even my uncle, we all kind of learned from my grandfather and, and my grandmother was the same way and super religious. And so I was, I brought up that way and I held most of the, I'm registered Republican. And then, God, somewhere around my, oh god somewhere around my I want to say early 20s um started going way liberal you know right because I'm half black I'm a lesbian like all these things that are supposed to make you liberal I I'm all of the I check every single one of those boxes um And I went super woke when it was woke time, you know, and God, I watching you like really, like I had to, I was challenged, like I was challenged in my beliefs

and I was challenged and you challenged me all the time. And then that Xavier Deruso interview, God, that hit me. Like that hit me like a ton of bricks. I think that was the one I wrote to you. I was like, okay, I give up. That's it. I gotta go back to what I actually believe and not what is being force fed to me by a group that I guess I'm supposed to be linked to. I don't I don't want to., well, eventually I want to get back and start at the very beginning, you know, from your birth.

But when you say that you give up, is, was there a parallel to that, to also realizing that you were a lesbian also like that? There's a point when like, you also had to give up and be like, fuck it. I'm not going to masquerade anymore as being straight.

I'm a fucking lesbian. Like, was it kind of like a similarity? Okay. It's done. I'm not going to masquerade anymore as being straight. I'm a fucking lesbian. Yeah. Was it kind of like a similarity? Okay, it's done. I'm not fighting that anymore. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, yeah.

You could absolutely draw those two things, connect those two things. It's just funny because it was like I had my original core beliefs and then I got away from them. And then now I'm like, no, my core beliefs and then i got away from them and then now i'm like no my core beliefs weren't wrong like they they might have needed tweaking but they they were right for the most part um i never like was straight then gay then went back to being straight if you wanted you were masquerade you were masquerading as straight and then finally it was just it became exhausting so you just like fuck it i give up i'm lesbian, I mean, I didn't masquerade well, I'm six feet tall and play basketball, but I tried. Right. And you have, you have red hair.

No, you know, my wife has red hair, but you, I thought, I thought I've seen pictures of you when your hair was curly on top. Yeah. I mean. Like bigger than like a traditional, you know, black person's curls, like kind of like a hybrid between a Jew black curl. I had them out before, but yeah, like I can get fro-y if you want to get fro-y. But it's not red. Okay, it's not red. And then you have freckles because when I looked at you, I was like, oh, she's kind of like a Canelo Mexican. I pictured you as kind of like this redheaded black gal. Well, I wish I had red hair. It's beautiful. But's beautiful but you don't yeah no I get blonde in the summer I can get blonde like my

my I'll have that Justin Timberlake like blonde tip thing happen but that's it okay and and you do have freckles a little bit yeah and did you have freckles as a kid? A little bit. Yeah. And they just, and they come on. Yeah. Okay. Well, where were you born? What state were you born in? New York. But the red part of New York, I was born in Utica.

Okay. Which that's like upstate. That's out of the city. Yeah. By Syracuse. Okay. And, and your, your, your mom was black or your, or your dad was black? My dad's black.

Dad was black. And dad was black? My dad's black. Dad was black. And how did they meet? My mom actually went to Mohawk Valley Community College in Utica. And that's where my dad's family is from, is Utica. And is it your mom's dad that was the Marine or your dad's dad that was the Marine? My mom's dad. that um was the marine or your dad's dad that was the marine my mom's dad and what did what did he think um when um your your whitey mom married your blackie dad i don't know how i my grandfather was never like i don't know i think he was just more or less mad that his you know 19 year old daughter

came home pregnant but i think he cared whether he was black or white. Just like, why are you pregnant? You're supposed to be in school. Right. Right. Right. 19 is too young. Yeah. And, and, and you, were you there first? Yeah. And only. Okay. So you're born and they, they end up not staying together, obviously because you get raised by your grandparents. And they end up not staying together, obviously, because you get raised by your grandparents. Well, they didn't stay together because my dad kind of repopulated the East Coast and has a bunch of different kids. And so then my mom went home to her parents. And yeah, and then my mom had some of her own issues. So I ended up getting raised by my grandparents.

And how many kids does your dad have? There's six of us altogether. And are you, are you acquainted with that side of the family? Yeah. Wow. There's only one brother. Um, he's, uh, the second to last and we've, I only have pictures of him as a baby. I've never met him. I don't even know if he knows who we are. So five of them you're acquainted with. Yeah. There's five of us.

We're all pretty tight. So, okay. So you are pretty tight with them. And in your Instagram, um, it's private. That's why I didn't send you any links, Susie. Um, in your Instagram, by the way, I use pictures from your Instagram as the thumbnail. Yeah. You found the one picture of me dressed like a girl like there's like only four in the world and you found the one

i well i like i like i like what you wrote in there look i'm wearing a skirt and it's like in the in the shots cropped and you can't even tell you're wearing a skirt i looked at my wife i'm like he found one of the four pictures on the planet where I'm in a skirt. I will change. I will change that. If any of those bother you. Okay. Cause last night I was thinking,

you know, her account's private and I'm stealing pictures. No, it's super funny. Go for it. Okay. Feeding the purpose there. Yeah.

Okay. Doxing. I also went to, so actually I went to Colleen's account. I went to your wife's account and hers was private too. Cause I was like, okay, if hers is open,

then I'll just take the pictures from hers and finally i was like all right susan you can go on my account if you want it's fine i don't care i just don't we don't we're not in like social media people so um do you have do you have your phone with you now yeah i can let him on yeah could you that would be awesome yeah um so what can you send me your handle in the private chat uh see this is so okay um i can i can i can send it to you i can send it to you too yeah please yeah if you want to blast it then we're so we're so we're so prepared here i'll request one second here the reason why i bring up the family is um you seem family oriented there are a lot of pictures of your family in there pictures of your grandfather pictures of

your dad um pictures of your kid uh pictures of your mama is that your grandmother is that what you call your grandmother mima yeah that's mima yep and so and, so you do, you do have family around you and you've gone through a lot of stuff. And so I just a picture that you would, you, I picture you wouldn't have a lot of family around you. No, I, uh, my grandparents were the greatest, like they, they always, you know, big family Christmas things, big family Thanksgiving things. Fourth of July, huge, just family barbecue reunion. I mean, they made it as normal as possible for me growing up. And so you're an only child being raised by your Marine grandfather and your Mima. Yep.

And that starts right away basically just from from birth no well they were i mean they took my mother and i in um basically at six that six week checkup that you get my mom got that six week checkup got on a train went from utica back to long island um and then you know she we all lived together. Like it was kind of like they took care of her by proxy, taking care of me. Okay. So your mom lived at the house too. So it wasn't like you didn't have your mom. No, I, I didn't, my mom had her issues somewhere around 12. It was like 12. I went to go live with my grandparents full-time without my mom okay and and there's pictures of you um also in there of you as a little girl and you just look and you

look like the little girl version of you you almost like haven't you almost haven't how old are you now uh 41 okay so you almost haven't changed you're just you just got taller yeah god and those pictures it looked like you had red hair too. Or at least, I guess maybe blonde hair. I was very blonde. I was blonde as a kid. Okay. Has anyone else ever accused you of having red hair besides me?

No, just you. Shit. Shit. I've had that debate with other people. Your son has red hair. Yeah, he can go. He's like red, blondish. Yeah, not as red as my wife.

My wife is like straight ginger. Yeah, she's got great hair. You have a beautiful wife, by the way. Congratulations. Thank you. I know I lucked out. So you're born. You're living in Utica.

You're with your grandparents. And as you get old – and let's say – when do you start – is there a point when you're like, hey, something's different about me than the other kids? Like I have a different energy. I'm on a different wavelength. I'm – something's not gelling. I'm not connecting. I'm not connecting. I know a lot of,

you know, a lot of the gay community will probably say that they knew when they were like five. I definitely did not know. I literally, I was just, did you not know because you didn't even think about it and you were five? Yeah. Yeah.

Right. Yeah. No, my mother put me in brownies. I knew I hated that because I had to wear this stupid brown skirt and the fashion i didn't like that but i wasn't like oh i'm different because i don't like the skirt i just was like i don't like this crap i want to go do something else like i want to go play with i want to play with the boys i lived in a cul-de-sac full of boys they were all outside playing you know tackle football in the yard with no shoes on you would approve of that and i like i just

wanted to be doing that i just we were playing king of the raft we lived by a pond there was a big dock in the pond we would all go outside wrestle on the dock who could throw each other off the dock like i i didn't know anything there was there was nothing to know we weren't supposed to figure it out yet right so it sounds like it sounds like a healthy childhood those aren't those weren't the things that you that you that were even in your in your world and um did did anyone ever have um concern that you were um uh that you shouldn't be roughhousing with the boys or did the boys treat you any differently or no i was bigger than all of them they didn't give a crap normally it was like hey garrett don't hurt them right right right that's how well that's how

it actually is with all my my boys all their all the girls who come over to the house and all the girls they play with like the eight the eight-year-old girls that obby plays with look like they're a whole fucking head taller than them every single one and their heads bigger and they're huge compared to him girls just grow they grow faster boys grow longer like you could boys still grow into their 20s girls finish by like 15 and their dad's only five five and and um and and so you go to a public school uh kindergarten uh first grade second grade third grade all the way up to through your senior year i went uh same school all the way same friends uh yeah and and what was um what was uh elementary school like you You go to school. Who takes you to school?

Your grandparents take you to school? Actually, I lived really close to it, so I could just walk to school. But, yeah, my mom would walk me every morning where there are a couple of older kids that live near me that would kind of walk with me to school, and then they would go to their school. But, yeah, I got up every morning. My mom – because I told you my family owns the deli so there's apartment oh that's the deli with all the pictures with all the latin gals that it's all over your instagram also okay okay i was wondering i'm like what is going on there you i mean those are your homies i sent that request through too i'm looking i'm trying to see it uh

let me close it out it'll come up as crossfitmore. That's what I'm signed into on my computer. Okay. But yeah, so here. Thank you. My wife is going to do it because she's awesome. Thank you, Colleen. Thank you, Colleen. But yeah, so there's apartments above the deli. So what happened was my grandparents kind of moved us upstairs. So like, uh, my mom and I lived above the deli, so I could just kind of walk to school. Um, but yeah, every morning I'd get up, get myself up, uh, get run downstairs,

get breakfast because we're a big breakfast deli. And then, um, then off to school and off to school bag lunch, you know, the whole brown paper bag situation. It's great. And then how would you come home from school? Would you bring yourself home? No, someone was always there to get me, whether it was my grandpa or my mom or someone was, it just, it was so nice because all of my family worked in the deli. So like anyone at any period of time could come get me. It was just who it was so nice because all of my family worked in the deli. So like anyone at any period of time could come get me. It was just who it was going to be. And, and did you ever, did you work at the deli as a little kid? Would you work to register or make sandwiches or did you put newspapers together? Like that was, that was my thing was I would get up real early with

my grandfather, go in, put newspapers together, like the york times and whatever and then uh we would do that real quick and then run go fishing and then come back and open the deli it was super cool and and i'm guessing that's where you learned a lot of your social skills you weren't adverse to people i mean it's pretty obvious from your instagram that you're kind of i don't want to say the party wherever you go but it's very clear you're very affectionate and you have no problem, you know, interacting with other humans. Yeah. Oh, great. Yeah. No, no problem. We're in the archives now. There's a lot of pictures with you and these ladies it's all it's it's pretty obvious that uh

that's your uh family they've worked in that deli for uh one of them has worked there since i was like 10 and the other ones that you see behind me they've been there for at least 20 years if not more and so you so you do that you do you stay in the same school like area um all through uh elementary school junior high high school it's all the same school like area all through elementary school, junior high, high school? It's all the same people. Everyone just keeps switching to the same schools. And all the schools are in like a two mile radius of each other. And so basically everything seems normal to you when your parents are separated in early age and you don't know the difference.

Your life doesn't seem it just seems normal yeah grandparents around yeah very small school i would say like there was like three mixed kids in our school and all the teachers thought that we were related and i was like no not every mixed kid has the same like there's not one interracial couple out here but other than that like now and um and does every does everyone know that you're a girl yeah everybody that has grown up with me or knew me like no knew that i was a girl yeah and when did when did it start happening you sent me a text the other day that you were in the girl's bathroom and some can you tell that story about what happened the other day that when you told me have mercy so i was in a um like the applebee's bathroom because we go once a week just as a family for fun and so i was like uh i have my

period i gotta go to the girls bathroom it's just i i can't so i was like i went into the girls bathroom washing my hands all done about to come out this old i'm not i can't even say older because i'm 40 um but this like 50 year old lady whatever comes walking in and i mean when i tell you that her soul left her body when she saw me in the bathroom it left her body like she was pale as crap it was and i was like so you know right away you recognize it yeah i already know i like and so, you know, right away, you know, yeah, I already know. Like and so I was prepared. I had my hand in my pocket. I was like I was ready to go. I was like, I know what you can say, lady. Say it. And she was like, do you know which bathroom you're in? This is the ladies bathroom. And I was like, so you're assuming I can't read or I'm just stupid.

Like what? So I pulled the tampon out of my pocket, put it in her hand and left. And like, but then I realized that was my only tampon. So I went back and got it. I was like, fuck, I can't go through the rest of the day like this.

Like what did she say? God, it would have been great if you could have given her a used one. I was already done. Um, did she say anything to you? Did she say anything to you? Did she say sorry to you? No.

Was she sitting next to you close in the restaurant? No, no. We always sit in that family section, and she was in the bar area. And when you go back, is that the kind of thing you share with your family, or it happens so often? Do you share that with Colleen? It's been happening since i was my full height basically at like 12 and my full size like i was at least yeah i might have had an inch to go but after that i remember the first time it ever happened i remember i was on a ferry going from to going to connecticut

long island sound ferry and i went into the I went into the girl's bathroom with my grandmother. And some lady lost her crap on me. Because I had a hat on. And I'm six feet tall. And my grandmother lost her shit on this woman. She was like, how dare you like if you ever want to see an old lady go nuts, my grandma went nuts. It was like, you know, protecting your cub or whatever, but yeah. So that was at 12. How old were you when you, when that ferry incident happened? The first one? I was about 12. I was on the traveling basketball team. And, um, had you, that was the very first time you heard it. Oh, someone mistook me,

my sexism. It's interesting because, um, I have a sister and people always when we were together it wasn't uncommon that people thought maybe we were twins i was often mistaken as a girl until i was probably nine oh and then it stopped but yours was the inverse of that yeah at nine you were you passed as a girl and then at 12 it was like it was over did you have your hair like this at 12 no my hair was actually really long and curly like i had like all my like it was just very very long and curly but it may have been the basketball clothing also oh yeah and i i loved hats like i that was back in the day with like the big starter jackets where you had the north carolina starter jacket yeah yeah i forgot about

that the starter new era cap the new era weren't there starters like actual shops that said starter and they would be like in malls and stuff yeah yep i wonder if they still have those i had my michael jordan north carolina starter jacket on the matching hat and i know i i'm aware why it happens i just was like as a kid you're like crap no i'm a girl like stop calling me sir stop calling me like i'm a girl i have ovaries they work yeah what's crazy is when i look at your face you're a pretty girl like you have you have you have girl features your i guess it's maybe your eyes and your nose and your teeth and your ears i mean you it's a it's um i can see being confused by clothes but just your face you have i mean you have a girl's face people that know me see it but people

who have never met me or see me once a day or whatever they just it's just easier to be like hey sir and you work out in girls clothes i see work in your instagram you don't i see you in sports bras or i see oh yeah i'll take my shirt off and just have a sports bra but the one where you see me in girls clothes is because i lost a workout to my wife and the penalty was i had to go in her clothes to the gym. That's awesome. And when you go to the, and when you go to the beach, there's pictures of you in bikinis and stuff that you,

you wear girls clothes. Yeah, I did that as kind of defiance. Oh, okay. The lesbian defiance. I'm going to wear girls clothes. Y'all can eat a dick.

All of the dicks. I'm so, I'm still learning. I'm so to wear girls clothes. Y'all can eat a dick. All of the dicks. I'm so, I'm still learning. I'm so learning. Um, who are, um, I'm going to share a picture here real quick.

Who are, um, who, who are these guys right here? Who are these two, two gentlemen? Oh, they're both my uncles.

Okay. Or one of those Uncle Ted? Yeah, the one with the sweater on is Uncle Ted. He's the oldest brother. And then Tom in the Mets jersey, he's the one that he and I do the deli together. Okay. So going back, you're six, seven, eight years old. At any time during that first, second, third grade, is there anything now happening to you? Any perspective change? Any like, these people don't like me or these people like me or I'm the oddball out or nothing no i still had all my dude friends we that was like the wrestling buddy years we all had wrestling buddies and we would do the hulk hogan all that kind of stuff there's

no there was nothing nothing weird no one's do you remember the first time you were introduced a lesbian versus straight? Um, God, I was in middle school, probably like seventh, eighth grade, maybe eighth grade, but I wasn't introduced to it. Like it just kind of organically happened. Like you saw it on a TV show or something and you're like, Oh, maybe that's me. No, no. I, well, I used to, I say this. Like I realized that I really liked Zina and her little blonde friend a little too much more than I probably, they were just like my heroes. I kind of liked them a little more than I should have liked them. Who's, who's Dina? Zina. Or your princess. Oh, okay. Okay. So, so, so, okay. So you, meaning like you wanted them to sleep over. Like I remember I wanted my kindergarten teacher to come home and bathe me. I didn't know why, but I, but it was like, it was like a goal of mine. Well, I definitely wanted to be Xena and I wanted to date the little blonde girl that was on the show.

Okay. Okay. But, but, but that could still, but that could still be nothing, right? Yeah, no, it wasn't. I just realized that I was just realizing that I liked them way more than like, it was just a good show. Like I literally was the member of VHS. I would record the episodes. I had like all of the seasons on those VHS tapes because I would sit there and record it. And you could see yourself joining the crew you're like hey you should what about a third person i totally want to go run through the jungle and shit yep with them okay and um and what about um what about high school is there is there a prom or senior ball or anything like that oh god yeah there's probably i don't think i thank god that was not during social media but i I, yeah, I went to those. And, and, and you, and you hated those. No, I had a good time. I had a boyfriend, if you want to call it like we, I don't know, we kissed like a bunch of times, maybe that was it. And we went to prom together. He was a great

guy. He was like one of my, ended up being one of my best friends i love them i still love them to death like um but i mean it was as awkward as it could possibly be right right it was like that for me too it was like that for me too i didn't want to go god i hated that shit i just didn't want to be in a dress and you had to be in a dress and i was like what the hell man what am i gonna do you can't dance in it like i can't and oh my god wearing heels are you kidding me that was like the worst form of torture ever in the history of man when's the last time you when's the last time you've worn a dress or a skirt uh probably that picture that you put on the front no shit okay no shit what what about what about this the the kind of the, what's become the official outfit of the United States? What about leggings?

Are you leggings? No. You don't have like a whole closet full of Lululemons? No, my wife does. I don't. Yeah. So you're still a basketball shorts person? Yeah.

Board shorts. Yeah. Anything Mayhem Empire? You're a Froning fan. You're a mayhem empire. You're, you're, you're froning fan. You're a mayhem empire fan. Oh yeah.

Yeah. Who's not, who's not the only, that's a good sign. If you're wondering if you're a healthy individual, if you have any issues with the mayhem empire, it means you're not healthy. You need,

you need to check yourself. So when, when you're young, when you're young, when you're eight years old you have you have an incident that uh not an ideal incident happened in your life that continued for four years um my mom married my stepfather and my stepfather molested me for four years. I mean, like, and it was like, you know, uh, every week kind of thing. It wasn't like three times over four years. It was like every week. So yeah. How does that happen? How does, um, I keep hearing about the grooming thing, but I, but, but how, but how does that

happen? Is that real? Can you get into like how, but, but how, but how does that happen? Is that real? Can you get into like how that happens? How do you, how does an adult? He just, it was very, you know, I was very awkward at that age. I was way bigger than everybody else. And I was a little heavier at that time too, like the chunky girl. And he just would, you know, he would take me to do things that like other people's parents wouldn't take them to go do like I'd get to stay up till 10 o'clock at the movies I'd get to you know like we and he had his own son too like he had a son from his previous marriage and he was a young kid like he was like three at the time and uh he

would just it just he would be the son at home and take me to go do things that like were special it just was like hey and you would and you would be alone with him yeah yeah my mother it wasn't like oh let's the family is gonna go out or'm going to take my kids out to go do something or whatever. It was like, just me. And your mom didn't have any, do you think he married your mom because he, because of you? I think he married my mom for a green card, honestly, but. Where was he from? Brazil. And the, the, the first time it happens is is it just overwhelmingly traumatic like does at that point does your whole life change uh yeah i mean my my stepbrother wasn't back yet like he had to keep uh going back and forth to brazil so it was just one of those time periods

where i was in a room by myself, my, my little brother wasn't there. And that's when it kind of started, my mother would go bowling. And so like, he would just come hang out with me in my room, and like, watch TV, and then whatever, and then get a little closer. And then it just and yeah, I mean, what the stories are true from what I can tell is that they tell you that like this is normal. This is natural. This is, you know, when a man loves a woman, when like this is how it's supposed to be. And why and why did why don't kids tell their parents? Why are there millions of kids that this is happening to and then none of them go tell their tell their tell someone?

And then none of them go tell their tell their tell someone they'll tell you like my stepfather told me that it would destroy the family and that my mother would wouldn't wouldn't like me anymore. And that, you know, this whole secret love thing is just between us and it's special. And it, you know, yeah, all that all the stuff that little kids are afraid of, like, you don't want to lose your mom, you want to and my mother and i were very close until that point you know what i mean like very close and you know the fear of your mom going away or they're going to take me away from my mom or people won't understand or they'll be mad at me like at eight you don't want that right right i mean it's super effective because you're not a lot because because it's it there's a playbook for it yeah yeah it's weird because i don't think the world realizes it i never had anything like that happen to me but it seems like that there's just a steady playbook for it and all these stories well there's a commonality to them unfortunately the parents get a divorce and the mom brings in a new man seems Seems to be a pretty common theme. Yeah, they feel like it's okay because you're not related. And it's like, and I mean, a million people and one wanted to say that I looked older.

I don't give a fuck. I was eight. Like, I could look 21. I'm eight. Like, I don't care. Dude, that's just fucking insanity. It wouldn't even matter if you were 25. The stepfather should not be doing – the stepfather – men have the ability to turn that off.

And if you're married to a woman and she has – you don't flirt with someone's mom or their daughter or their cousins or let alone – and he knew you were eight. And any healthy grown man is not attracted to a woman who's eight. I would go out on a limb that say no 60 year old healthy man is attracted to a 30 year old woman, to be honest, I'm 50 and 20 year old women look, um, uh, there's no, there's no, there's no sense of me that wants to be intimate with them no matter how hot i think they are i'm i don't i don't um it's not in me i always say that i was like let some teacher try to like get with my 12 year old kid when my kid turns 12 or 13 i'm going to

lose my someone's gonna have a bad day and it's not gonna be me like someone gonna die problem is is your 12 year old gonna tell you how are you gonna know well what could your mom have seen and so i'm guessing this is how i picture it after that first incident you shut down yeah like it put it pushes your whole being to contract you start to go inward i more remember around the time that i turned like 10 or 11 I started to be very like we were going on a trip to Brazil to uh for Christmas time and I like begged my grandmother not to let me go like I was like I don't want to go please don't let me go I don't want to go and just I think everybody just thought I was scared to fly or something.

But I ended up having to go. And it was like that after that trip, I was the most withdrawn and unstable. I think the only thing that kind of kept me together was I came home to sports. Like I was still kind of playing sports. So that gave me an assemblance of like a routine or like sweat it out or get it out or just be so tired that I didn't care. But I mean, I, after that trip, that's when it started to show up. It was, it was a, um, it was like a trip of terror, I imagine. Yeah, it was horrible. How long was it?

How long was the trip? God, we went, I was out of school because I had to take homework with me. It was like almost a month. Did your mom go? Yeah. And somehow he would still find a way to get you alone. Yeah, he'd get me in the shower or like my mother would be out walking somewhere or something. And he'd just like come in the room. Like it mother would be out walking somewhere or something he'd just like

come in the room like it just they find a way like he never got caught he never got caught none of those incidents there were never close calls he was never like your mom never said hey why are you in the bathroom with my daughter nope nope that's how like and that's what and the thing, I think the rift that put me with my mom was as I got older, I realized like he hit her like weeks before the wedding and she married him anyway. Okay. And if she had enough, I don't know, self-respect or self-worth or whatever that is that makes you feel good about you. She would have left him then and nothing would have happened to me. And I think that's in my teenage years where I was like, we don't, we just can't talk. Who you and your mom. Yeah. You said that, that, that ends up becoming a phase where you're like, like, like you blame your mom. Yeah. That was my,

blame your mom yeah that was my that was my pissed off i was out of it because i told when i was 12 so i was with my grandparents i was safe he went to jail for a little while and that was my like that was when i what what did he go to jail for for molesting me oh so he he got caught. I told. There was, you know, you remember those health classes where they do date rape and go over all that kind of stuff. It could be someone in your family. It could be like consent, not consent. It was one of those classes. And I actually knew the lady who gave the class really, really well. She's one of the cops in town. the lady who gave the class really, really well. She's one of the cops in town.

And afterwards, I asked her, I was like, there's a couple of questions I asked her. It was like, what if it's your mom's husband? Or what if it's, is that still? And whatever those questions I asked her was enough for her to be like, we need to go talk in another room. And she called a counselor and they started talking to me and it kind of came out. And as a 12 year old, I'm like, well, can you not arrest him until after? Cause I think there was like Memorial day. Cause you know, I'm a kid, like don't mess up. Right. Right. Right right right right let me get my christmas presents yeah like but yeah dude that must have been where as you were do you think there was any part of you that wanted knew that it was wrong and just wanted to tell someone and that's why you asked those questions or were those you were trying for a little while to get it out and it just wasn't

coming out and they just created a safe spot for me to do it. Did you ever, had you ever told any friends, had you ever told anyone up until that point? Yeah, I had one friend that I, we, but she was the same age as me. We were talking and she actually had, was going through the same thing herself. Oh, fuck. So like the two of us, it's a time of like keeping each other afloat. And who was it with her? Who was it with her in her life?

Her actual dad. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. And was he having sex with you? Oh, my God. What happens? What happens? Is he arrested right away when you tell those cops that? the days they did some like questioning of like hey is this kid like is she known to lie has she been in trouble before like they kind of did a deep dive on me to see if i was the type of kid that would just like throw some crap out there like that um but yeah he was taken fairly quickly

and uh like that day yeah pretty much yeah it was right after school. What year was this? I was in eighth grade, so I'm going to go 94, 93, 94. So that's interesting. When they were asking you those questions to check the validity of your story, did you feel that they were trying to undermine you in any way? They weren't asking me. They were asking people who knew me okay okay my babysitter my like like people in the surrounding area that have known me my friends mothers stuff like that what happens i i don't want to lose this question that bailey asked by the way bailey asked a question what signs could your mom have seen um uh she said bailey walker says what signs could your mom have seen i She said, Bailey Walker says, what signs could your mom have seen? I want to come back to that in one second. What? So when that happens that day, you go home.

I went to my grandparents house. You went to your grandparents house and you have to and you have to tell now the cat's out of the bag and you have to tell everyone. house and you have to and you have to tell now the cat's out of the bag and you have to tell everyone yeah my and i had to go to the police station to that uh sorry we went to the police stations first my grandparents came and got me from the police station my grandmother was a hot mess because they had basically told her what i was there for yeah um and my grandfather just looked like he wanted to fucking put him underneath the police station. Like he, you know what I mean? Like he just grabbed me and he was like, he like, he was after that, he didn't really

let me out of his sight very often. Right. Um, but, and then I went to my grandparents' house and then he, he got whatever he got. I don't even, I really wasn't even a part of the process for his jail time. I think he just pled out and got three months for four years of my life. And if you want the sickest thing, he made me a bar of soap in jail that had my name spelled out in it. Like he carved a bar of soap in jail with my name in it and like gave it to my mom to give to me hey did you do you know anything about him do you know anything

about him what makes a man do that do you do you know like do you know anything about his story that would cause him to to be like that as far as i knew i mean he was pretty much a soccer star like for college and high school or whatever they have in brazil and uh now i mean he was a good looking dude my mom was i mean they were a good looking couple they were from all i could tell they were happy for the most part like it was was, it just got weird. Like as soon as they got married, it got weird real fast. Why did he only get three months? I'm assuming, I mean, honestly,

like people who commit this kind of crimes don't usually get a lot of time if they just plead to it. And so what does he get deported? He got deported uh 10 years later so you had did you have you did you ever see him after he got out of jail oh god yeah if i wanted to see my mom or my brother your mom stayed married to him yep i don't understand yeah it's a tough one yep no she was stayed married to him until he actually got deported and so was that 10 years where you just didn't you didn't talk to see him if i wanted to see

my mom and my brother like i had to see him and it stopped did it stop when he got out of jail yes yeah yeah my grandparents had me i i asked to go live with my grandparents, and my mom was like, sure. And so I went and lived with them. He raped a child. Mm-hmm. Yep. And was that what he was convicted for? No, I think it was just, like, forcible touching or whatever they call it now or some crap like that but but but it but it is accurate to say he raped a child yes god he's he he really is lucky

your grandfather did not kill him uh yes yep was he ever allowed at the deli or anywhere near there no he had a restraining order from anywhere around the Delhi schools. Like he couldn't go anywhere near any of that stuff. My grandparents' house. Matt, this was in Utica, New York. No, Long Island. Oh, Long Island at that point. Okay.

What did he finally get deported for? That charge. Because he was, yeah, he was deported for that he had just pushed it off so long with lawyers and my mom was on his side and whatever so he was able to like delay it and then the final judge um because they actually my mom and him actually asked me to go talk to the judge for him so that he could stay in the country and uh the judge was like absolutely fucking not this girl does not have to go through and relive all that crap all over again like your shit's denied bye and they came and got him at like four in the morning like it was like one of those things

that you actually did yeah they they like ice came and got him at like three o'clock in the fucking morning he was in his boxers like yeah by the way anyone who's ever against ice you have to look at um i've known a lot of ice guys in my life if you ever get a chance to talk to one of those guys talk to those guys and then also start looking up the statistics of who they arrest they're not out just fucking grabbing uh tax paying immigrants they they have a fucking they they go to people's they go and they get bad guys the ice guys are fucking a gift to fucking humanity and if you find out how many fucking arrests they make and the people they're arresting it will blow you away they're catching tens of thousands of people who are really bad people it's a fucking nuts um so answer that other lady's question please yes

yes yes please um for me i mean it's a let me ask the question again just just to be so everyone if anyone just tuned in basically someone was asking what are the signs if if if your kids being traumatized or molested what are the signs that the parents should be looking for in the child for me very much so i didn't want to touch adults and i didn't want adults to touch me and it didn't matter who it was like i didn't want my mom to touch me i didn't want like my i couldn't hug my grandfather for i don't know how freaking long um yeah i i that was the overarching probably thing for me that i felt at the time was like just no adult could touch me and it just did that happen just overnight like right away you were like fuck i like i mean yeah i kind of i feel like it did like i feel like i was just like after like the first like three months like i just what like i just didn't want anybody to touch me and it's not like that anymore you're not like that anymore you're a very touchy-feely person

now yeah very huggy and we always were we were a huggy family like my family's huggy so like it was just for yeah it was a minute that i just i remember that not being able to hug my grandfather for the longest uh so so so, so, so, so it, it, the police come to the school, it happens, he gets arrested, he goes away for three months. And is there, what, what options are there for you? Like what's offered to you to start helping you process this? My grandmother got me into counseling right away. Like I had a counselor outside of school and I had a counselor in school that I could go to if I needed to during the day. Do the kids at school find out? No, just, just my friend that knew that she was, and she was kind of going through the same thing. And I was like, you have to tell somebody like you have to tell somebody, but we were,

because that's the only way it's going to stop. Right. Yeah. It's the only way it's going to stop right yeah it's the only way it's going to stop they won't stop did you feel any sense of relief when he was arrested oh yeah god yeah yeah you did yeah did you bawl did you cry like like not a cry like sadness but like a release do you remember i did when i went to bed that night because i knew i was okay like i cried so so literally at night you would go to sleep and it would suck because you don't know if this guy's coming in your room. Yeah, pretty much. Fuck. It sounds like just four years of terror.

It sounds like living in a fucking prison. Yeah. Worse. The anxiety level is just indescribable. So he goes away. And when he gets out, do you feel the anxiety come back even though he's just out but he doesn't live with you a little bit but at the same time though i was fully moved into my grandparents house they drove me to and from school i never

had to get on the bus um and yeah i mean it took little bit, but after like six months of him being out, I knew he wasn't going to get to me or he couldn't get to me. And like, literally our town is, is very, it's on the smaller side. All the cops knew me. They would drive past the deli all the time on purpose, just like to see, like, you know, so it was kind of, I had that, that i not a lot of kids are going to have that i had that extra kind of security blanket because it's a small town everybody knows the deli everybody knows my grandparents like so i was never really by myself again after that

and what happens to what happened to your friend did she end up telling her dad telling on her dad yeah she told her mom and her mom left her dad, like a normal human being would do. Right. How's your relationship with your mom today? We don't talk. Wow. She was never able to, I don't know.

She's just a weirdo. I love her. She's my mom. She gave me life. But, like, I'm not good for her. I trigger her. And she brings out the most amount of anger in me. So it's probably best.

Basically, she doesn't want to face the fact that she was an accomplice in the torture of her child. Right. And she doesn't acknowledge my kid as mine. So there's that too. Your son? Yeah. She doesn't acknowledge that he's actually mine wow how does that manifest like when she because my wife gave birth yeah so by blood standards in her eyes that means he's not mine wow fuck how you've been you've been with your wife for 10 years? Yep.

Congratulations. Thank you. That's a fucking long time to be with someone. That's what we say. Okay. You're 12 years old. And what do they tell you in counseling? Did you have a good counselor? What's counseling like for that?

Yeah. I mean, I think they did the right thing where it was like, hey, do you want a man or a woman counselor? First of all, because like you have to feel safe with whoever you're with. So, of course, I as a girl, I wanted a girl. But yeah, they did everything kind of really the right way. It was just kind of let me get it out at my own pace. They, you know, would just give me like, I got a lot of breathing techniques, actually, that they gave me whenever I felt anxious, or if I got overwhelmed or overstimulated. And yeah, they just kind of, they would, they would ask probative questions. But I mean,

really, they just kind of let me talk it out on my own with like guided questions. Did you like that? Did you find it useful? Yeah, because I was in control. No one's telling me or making me say anything or making me, you know, I was in control of what I wanted to share. Where I hadn't been in control of anything I wanted to share for four years. Now, at least I was in control of anything I wanted to share for four years. Now, at least I was in control of, of what I wanted to share and not share. And just over time, it just.

That was, um, 26 years ago that that, um, terror stopped. Are you still in counseling? I don't need it as much anymore. Um, but I, God, my wife and I just, Are you still in counseling? I don't need it as much anymore. But God, my wife and I just, we talk so much like about everything. If something's wrong, if someone's anxious, if someone's, you know, like that we get it out one way or the other. But we're both really into like research. Like we'll look stuff up.

And if we need, you know, Oh, there she is. And like, we need something. The other one is like right there to help us get it. Like if, if I ever needed counseling,

I would go get it. I believe in it. I think it works and it helps. When, when, when she met you, is, is,

is any part of it? Like, is she any of it hesitant to be your mate? Like, Oh fuck fuck this is damaged goods i don't know if i want to like um no we were both i mean we both had a lot of traumas in our past i think that's one of the text threads that you and i had was just like men want women to trust so easily and and and it just, you have to reprogram yourself. Like, like that's,

I always used to poke back at you about misogyny so much because it just is ingrained in me that just men are awful. You can't like, you know, you can't really be intimate with them because all they want to do is sleep with you. That's it. That's all they want from you. They're not going to share your feelings or share your, you know, what's important to you or your it that's all they want from you they're not gonna share your feelings or share your you know what's important to you or your vulnerability is that they they want that that's it and they're gonna use whatever they can use to get it right they're gonna pretend to listen right a common technique of your 16 year old boy and i don't mean that in a derogatory way but i don't but it's just it's just the way this fucking particular creature that um you guys

have on the planet with you uh okay so so as you as you um what are what are the um mechanisms that you start coping with it is it at that point you double down on dressing up like a boy yeah oh yeah that was i was just i semi, I played varsity basketball in eighth grade. So it helped, that helped a lot. So like, I just had all the basketball jumpsuits and my grandparents were more than happy to like spend their last little bit to go get me some new Jordans. And yeah, I ran around in baseball hats and big ass I mean you could see me walking around in the summer in like a Michigan Wolverine sweatshirt just hoodie and shit like it yeah oh yeah cover up as much as possible and was that a conscious decision like

did you want people to think you were a boy at that point? No, I didn't want that. As a protective mechanism? No. Yeah, it was just don't, don't look at me. Don't take interest in me and my body. That's what men want. That's what they're going to, if they're going to focus their attention on you, it's because of your body. So just clear that crap up. Right. I think that's a fair, I don't think you were, I don't think that's a wrong assessment. That's what I had. It sounds like you're pointing at dudes. Okay. And at any point, at this point, now that you're after this, eighth, ninth grade, at this point, are you aware that you're a lesbian? No. That's also something that I wanted to talk to you about too was that back then there was no like labels.

Like we all just kind of were like you're figuring it out. You're just coming to like all of the mentors that I had, don't label yourself. Don't label yourself. You just are right now. You're figuring some stuff out labels can come way later way later down the road i like this i like this and and we did it was so organic it's a way that at least my generation came to to be like i had boyfriends but i was figuring it out like i i would kiss them or go for a walk or hold hands or be touchy feely in the

movie theater or something like that. And then, you know what? I didn't like it. I didn't know if I didn't like it because he was a boy or I just didn't like him as a person and didn't want to be touchy feely with him. Like it just wasn't, you know what I mean? It wasn't a thing. You didn't, you weren't like, well, if you do this, you're absolutely gay. Like I've changed the way I am. I'm absolutely straight.

Obviously not. Like, it's just so weird to me. Yeah. That's the way that shit should unfold. Yeah. Like you, you figure, you figure I like pears. Not as much as I like a little bit of everything see what works yeah i mean that's like the first time i saw a penis i was like not for me

i looked at it that's how boys are too though that's how boys are too no one no one everyone's like what it's all good i've learned more about penis in the last five years than i've known in my first 36 years because i have a kid that's it right right right and i still have more questions yeah yeah yeah so don't we all so do we yeah god i was telling someone the other day my whole life i've only touched one penis and And now I have three boys. And every day I end up fucking touching four penises. It's like, what has happened? What has gone?

What has happened to my life? I had no idea when my kid was first born. He was like three months old. And I got him up in the morning. It was summertime. And I like changing him. And I freaked the fuck out because his balls were smaller. Like my kid was born with humongous balls. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We're born with giant balls. Yes. In the morning, I was like, babe, something's wrong with his balls. Call the pediatrician. Go, go, go. And she's like, Garrett. And I was like, call the pediatrician. Something is wrong with my son's balls.

So we rushed to the pediatrician and she's looking at him and she's like, Garrett. I was like, no, they were big last night and they are small this morning. Fix my son's balls. And they're like, did you change him with the air conditioning on? That's what I was going to say. And I was like, yeah, the air conditioning is on in the house. Why? It's summertime.

It's hot. What are you talking about? And she was like, just go put him under a blanket. He'll be fine in like an hour. I have no fucking idea what she's talking about. They're like, they shrink in the cold. What? I didn't.

How is that a thing? I don't know. I'm learning. I'll give you, I'll give you this tidbit too, especially now that he's five. You got to always remind them that when they go pee, they got to like, cause your penis will just like curl onto your balls and you got to like pull it off because if you don't if you just run in there and go pee that shit will just pee out when you're a little kid that shit will just pee all over the place so always yeah so my yeah they'll curl it yeah yeah yeah peel it off peel the penis off the

balls before they pee so that it doesn't he's probably right at that age where i will take all because like yeah i can say peel your penis off your balls boy yes yes he knows aim that thing damn it so you're so so you're you're you're a wife and wife raising a boy that that's also an awesome um topic too but uh yes she probably is making a child abuse video right now i know uh okay so so i want to talk about the counseling more something like this never goes away you don't it doesn't go away it's like part of your life yeah no i even in when i met my wife like we had very like large conversations surrounding sex because no matter what, sex is always going to be a thing for me because it just. You were introduced to it in the wrong way, in a fucking absolutely horrible way.

God, the anxiety piece is just crazy that you had to sleep in the same house with a monster. The anxiety piece is just crazy that you had to sleep in the same house with a monster. It's like a fucking – it's like a horrible children's book. Yeah, I mean it – I wonder if that's what Freddy Krueger was all about. You go to sleep at night and you have these horrible dreams. I wonder if that was a metaphor for something. Did you ever want to become a boy? Did you ever think, oh, fuck it, I'm going to just become a boy? you ever think oh fuck it i'm gonna just

just become a boy yeah i wondered if it would be easier i was like it'll just be easier i'll never have to worry about this crap again no guy's ever gonna you know want to sleep with me because i am a dude so um you know and it just yeah i crossed my mind in my late it was my late teens early 20s like just at towards the end I crossed my mind in my late, it was my late teens, early 20s, like just towards the end of high school and into my 20s. It went back and forth. Like, well, I already dress like this. I already like to dress like this. I already like my haircut like this. Like, I'm big. I, you know, like, but I fortunately had a lot of people and really good support system that was like, no, man, like you're just you're scared of stuff. But it can happen anywhere. It could happen if you're a boy. It could happen if you're a girl.

They're like, yeah, it happens to a lot of. Yeah, it's not. You know what I mean? Like it could happen to me right now. Someone just wanted to prove that they can make me straight. what i mean like it could happen to me right now if someone just wanted to prove that they can make me straight like if some guy was weird enough to just be like uh you've just never seen dick before i can make you straight like it happened to me tomorrow it's not it's not going anywhere like it's here it's just about what who i am and what i want to be um and you had to tell me about that process um in fact i guess you couldn't go to the Internet then either. Nope. So you couldn't go to the Internet and be like, hey, here's 50 people who are women who are now men. Now anyone can do that. You can just go on the Internet and start researching.

And I guess you can find any path that will sort of validate your idea. If you want to if you're a woman, you want to become a man. You can find that that group that will validate that. to become a man you can find that that group that will validate that yeah i mean i back then all we had was what uh the ellen degeneres show queer as folk and xena if you really wanted to look into it like and see the undertones but that's all we had i mean and it just i think for me like going out and being around like other people, you know, butch like me, I guess the kids are calling it a stud these days, but whatever, still butch for me back in the day, but it was just going out with other butch lesbians and just dude going to have

a beer and just being us and being like, fuck it. Like, you know what I mean? Right. I wasn't trying to, I don't, that's not being a dude. You know what I mean? It's just, you're going out having fun with people that you like that hang out with you and fuck with you and having a beer and being you. How did you find that? How did you find that group? Um, back? Well, there's a lot of girls that I can, this is cliche as shit and that's fine. But, uh, it's a lot of the that i can't and this is cliche as shit and that's fine but uh it's a lot of the girls that i played sports with like we were all your check the boxes lesbian like we all played basketball we were all like 5 10 plus we like you know what i mean so like we just again organically found each other and hung out. You and the softball team. Yeah.

Um, any similar stories? Uh, yeah, there, yeah, no, there's more, more,

more than, more than you would expect or no, it's like, yeah, like to see. Yeah. Yep. Wouldn't say everybody,

but definitely more than you would. If this wouldn't have happened, if this wouldn't have happened to you, do you think you would still be a lesbian there's the money question i was waiting for it he knew he knew he was leading yeah there's there's the money ball uh i think i would still be yeah i i tried to have boyfriends afterwards um i even had a really funny but you can't are you saying you can't know for sure i yeah i mean i i actually have a couple of really good friends too that are very bisexual like that's a real thing that are actually bisexual like they just end up falling in love with who they fall in love with and one girl who i thought would never ever be with a dude

is happily married for the last 15 years with three kids to her husband and they are and she was with women all through high school like that's it that's the inverse to that question though too I always trip on the fact that if I think that I think that people who if you were if you were lesbian let's say all through high school and then you marry a man it put the bisexual thing aside for a second I think that people who, if you were, if you were lesbian, let's say all through high school, and then you marry a man, put the bisexual thing aside for a second. I think, oh, maybe they did that for not the wrong reasons, but they did that because they wanted something as opposed to following the path of who they are. just think that it should so much happen organically like i feel like just i mean just have friends go out have fun be a teenager do dumb teenage things try not to die and then if you happen to find and make it into your 20s like it's gonna play out the way that it's gonna play out i don't right i'm so sick of i do believe that too is something that you challenged me and kids are getting indoctrinated and it's.

Well, you, you obviously had really good mentors because that's why the gender thing really freaks me out so much is because kids shouldn't even know that word. Yeah. It shouldn't even know the word transgender gender. These aren't things that you should, you should be contemplating as a kid. You should just be like, like you, like how your mentors were telling you hey dude drop the labels just just go do things like go meet people go go like sneak into a bar at 18 like go you know what i mean like try to stay at a party too late when you're 15 like you know drink your older brother's beer

or something like regular kid thing. Did your stepfather ever give you alcohol or drugs? Uh, yeah. Yeah. Regularly? Um, in the beginning when I was super young. Um, but then kind of once like the special things didn't need to happen anymore in order to kind of like, he was in full predator mode and he, and then things didn't need to happen anymore in order to kind of like he was in full

predator mode and he and then it didn't matter it wasn't a play of drugs and sedation yeah well that's the playbook too right then they get you to do a little bit of like smoke a little weed have a little drink they're like hey we're gonna tell that you did drugs and you're like oh shit okay now it's another mechanism for silence yeah yeah um you you so so you're you're you're on the um is there when you have a basketball team full this is totally off off topic but when you're on a basketball team with a bunch of girls and there's a bunch and they're um lesbians or they're not labeled but they're by whatever you want to call but they're willing to be intimate with each other. Is there a lot of intimacy between the girls on a team? I never, I never saw a lot. And I would say that.

It sounds like it can be cause a lot of drama. I mean, it can. And it, I, it was more in college to the drama than it was in high school and high school. We, we, like I said, we were really kind of just figuring ourselves out. We didn't really know what we were doing at that point but college yeah um but it's about they always it's about 50 50 probably or maybe a little bit there's there's more straight girls on teams than gay girls like oh no no come on you're ruining my judgment you're

really it really is i mean when i played in college there was like what 12 of us on a team there's probably four of us that were actually yay and everybody else was had their man on the football team or whatever you know there were these um this is off subject too but there were these there when i worked at crossfit inc there were these two lesbian gals one of them was bi one of them was lesbian there were a lot of lesbian girls who worked at CrossFit but there were two in particular this bi girl

and this lesbian girl and they would they were terror on the other girls like the married girls they were hooking up with the married girls left right and fucking center just pick plucking the fucking Like the married girls, they were hooking up with the married girls left, right, and fucking center. Just pick,

just, just pick plucking the fucking chicks away from dudes. It was crazy. I was like, Holy shit. Yo, lesbians are petty, but they were good at it.

I was, I admired from afar. I was like, Holy shit. You guys are savages. You guys make fucking, uh, guys who are players look like they ain't got any skills.

Just like dudes want to be like, oh, I could take your girl anytime. Lesbian's the same way, man. Yeah. Oh, wow. Okay. So it's like trophy. Yeah. I shot a rhino today.

Put that on my wall. Yeah. You know what to say? How old were you when you meet your wife? You were 30? Yeah, I was 30. About to be 31 yeah okay we'll get to that in a second um so going back so if you didn't have that support group around you shit could have gone horribly wrong if you wouldn't have had the counseling if you wouldn't have had the people like i did like this this family around you shit could have gone horribly wrong yeah shit could have went way left you could have gotten

to drugs yeah uh was uh turning yourself into a boy having some sort of surgeries a possibility i didn't i didn't really know that there was possibility to even have surgeries. Oh, that's good. It wasn't as prominent as it is forward facing now. Um, but yeah, I think the only thing we knew about back then was like, uh, hormone blockers. So you could get the beard and sound a little deeper, get scruffy or whatever. Um, if that was the kind of mental image that you had of yourself, which is also really important too. Like the, you screw kids up when you start like trying to tell them how to have, how to see themselves, like envision myself. Like, you know, I always said I could never envision myself being pregnant. Like it just didn't fit right with how I see my body. And like, it just was always weird.

But, you know, if there was something happened and my wife couldn't have a baby like I would have a baby like you if these kids see themselves as butch or see themselves at like just go be butch then like go throw a football go put on some sweatpants if you don't want to wear leggings to school every day like you don't have to change your entire body just to be who you are just go be who you are it's it's easier to be butch than then what's the other one called what's just does your wife get a label uh back in the day it probably would have been lipstick lesbian yeah so it's easier to be butch it's easier to be a guy right you just like get out of the shower and just like. Yeah, man.

No makeup. No. I don't leave any makeup on the pillow at night. I don't have to, you know, hairs in a ponytail. You don't want. Do you have any makeup on right now? No. No, no makeup.

That's you. No, I don't do that crap. None. You don't ever do any lipstick on me for prom. And they came at me with some eyeliner and it came straight from my eyeball, and I was like, nope. God, eyeliner seems like it would be kind of fun to wear. You've been saying that lately, Savon. I think we're going to— I'm telling you, when that pencil comes towards your face, it's not funny.

Yeah, I don't enjoy watching people put it on, that's for sure. It's very uncomfortable to watch. You're like, dude, what if you slip? I'm sure girls slip all the time and poke themselves in the eye. God, I don't even like the thought of that. Well, and you have pretty good eyes already. You got pretty nice eyes. You got like those Andrew Hiller big heavy eyelids.

I say that all the time too. I got one lazy eye. Well, I didn't see a lazy one. It's like those bedroom eyes. When I look at Hiller, I i'm like is he trying to get me yeah why is that why does he have those heavy eyes hillar does have some sexy eyes he does yeah but part owl i just like his eyebrows when his eyebrows go up and down when he gets pumped about something yeah yeah yeah yeah it's almost like he's doing it on purpose but he's not he's not oh look there he is yes yes um so um are you still are you still in your hometown are you still in your hometown yep how close are you to the deli i i'm on top of it. Oh, still. Wow.

Any part of you ever want to leave any part of you like, Hey, this is my fucking history here. I'm just going to fucking pick up all my shit and leave. I'm going to the West coast. No, I never want to go to the West coast. No, but that, I mean, that's because of a lot of the work that I've done. Like it doesn't, this area doesn't define me. It's not, you know, I don't really hold any bad memories for this area it made me exactly who I am and and exactly who I am is just fine and we're doing just

fine and you know eventually we'll go get a house or whatever just money-wise right now it makes sense to wait um but otherwise like this this is this is who I am this This is where I'm at. I'm good. And how did you meet your wife? So one of my sisters has a Down syndrome uncle. And my wife was his dance teacher and also one of his workers. She would take care of him, take him him out go do fun things like whatever so when i met my sister for the first time i also met my wife for the first time at her house wow yeah wow how old was your sister when you met her for the first time uh she's two years younger than me uh so she was 28 And this is a sister on your dad's side?

Yeah, they're all on my dad's side. Okay. How did that end up? Did you go out of your way to rekindle with your dad's side of the family? My aunt, actually. My dad's sister, the matriarch of our family, she found us all and kind of like started the family uh getting kind of closer and back together and just so yeah she she kind of found us all on facebook and then

we kind of all rekindled from that were you thankful for that oh yeah yeah super awesome and and your dad's your dad's alive and kicking and all is good now yeah yep oh like you watch football together yeah we'll text each other over on football sunday and like whatever we'll have a beer together if we happen to be up there if i happen to go up there or whatever but yeah no he's he's a good friend now it's perfect it's exactly the way it's supposed to be i just noticed you're wearing a sebon podcast shirt i just noticed that yeah yeah holy shit wow she's got the uniform on good job i got the notes you got the rules um so so you so your wife had a job where she took care of mentally disabled adults she was some sort of character and then united cerebral palsy

okay and when you walk in the room are there sparks i mean her butt looked really good in those jeans like like you just knew i mean her butt looked really good in those jeans god you really your your son's gonna love you you guys are gonna be able to speak the same language yeah and and does she um does she know did she see sparks too when she saw you yeah i think she was a little nervous um uh did she know anything about you was she just surprised you came over yeah she was like wait dominique has a sister what and then she saw me and I think she had just gotten out of a relationship um with another butch lesbian that's why I always say I'm the 2.0 type and I'm the 2.0 thanks um but yeah she uh I was definitely her type if you want to say that

and um in that first encounter was there like gratuitous touching like like like when you saw we're like hi and you know like when you put your hand on someone's shoulder or like like you immediately start sensing like hey no no i like i said that's one of the i think the things left over from everything that i went through as a kid like i'm not just touching anybody and anybody's not just touching me right um but i there's definitely like, so I guess you want to call it like Facebook flirting happened immediately after that. So. Oh yeah.

So if both people look each other up, you know, Yeah, we stalked each other's Facebooks and then started a little instant message thingy. Do you know when you walk in the room, that girl likes girls? That girl wants to be intimate with girls? Oh no. I had no idea she was gay none zero zero idea honestly i don't even think she knew she was gay yet if you really want to tell the truth i think she just came out as being gay like four years into our marriage she was probably like oh i'm a lesbian i was like no shit

wow that's awesome i fucking love that don't worry dear i'll give you as much time as you want just chill yeah you just chill i got you baby no labels oh that is fucking great um so so you so you meet her um uh you meet her there and how long before you guys like go out and what do you do the first time you go out oh what did it take us it took us it was really good though because she lived in utica and i live on long island so that's like a six hour drive difference so for uh what like two months all we could do was talk on the via the phone instant message whatever so we actually got to know each other like well before we even went on our first date and then um yeah in true utica fashion our first date was red lobster okay nice and uh

classy yeah got those uh cheddar biscuits and we uh kept it popping and and did you know you hit it off and you just knew oh yeah like it i mean sorry babe but uh it's like we slept together like three days later and in true lesbian fashion like i proposed to her like a month later and then we were married like six months later wow wow do her parents like you what your parents like you are her parents like me do her parents like you? What? Do her parents like you? Are her parents like me? Do her parents like you? Oh, yeah. Her dad loves me.

He's a Marine, too. He's freaking great. Oh, wow. Okay. He accepted me immediately. And yeah, her mom is super cool. She likes me. I mean, she more likes the baby than us.

Yeah, that's good. If you give someone the baby yeah the grandparents will will fall in line after that yeah yeah it's got to be a trip for parents if you because you see your kids life going a certain way like they probably pictured her getting married to a man i think her mom took it a little harder which was funny i thought the republican marine dad would have more of a problem with it but uh and he's older like he's in his 70s so i thought yeah by the time you're 70 you're probably like fuck i i'm not worrying about none of that shit he was like are you gonna take care of her and i was like yeah he's like are you gonna pay for her

and i was like yeah and he was like cool how's that wow that is some fucking anti-feminist shit right there, but you just took it like a champ. You're like, yeah, I'll say yes to whatever, as long as I can get it. Let's go. Uh,

Cobra roads, Cobra, your profile picks. Great. Cobra was just in the movie, uh, Will Smith's movie that just came out. Just follow Garrett on Instagram private.

Look at, he's begging. He's begging for an accept. I'll check my phone afterward. Cobra's a great dude. I know him from a previous life when I used to document professional arm wrestling. I had him on the show briefly, too.

He also just starred in a documentary that has a bunch of reenactments. I was actually talking to him on the phone yesterday. Did you know that the Lone Ranger was the real Loneanger was a black guy no yeah well okay i'm gonna have crowbar on the show and he's gonna explain explain that to us he was just in a documentary where he played you know in the reenactment scenes when they would tell the story of the

lone ranger he played the the real lone ranger who's a black guy yeah pretty cool i had no idea instead of giving silver bullets he gave silver coins it's cool shit right yeah okay i digress uh okay so so you get two lesbians together and their views have got to be so many jokes for that but go ahead their their their rules have to be the same way my rules were like born in Berkeley, right? That you have to like Hillary Clinton and you have to love Barack Obama. Well, you have to like him too because you're black. And you want universal health care without even looking into what it actually does to poor people. And you're trudging down that line, right?

Would you consider yourself an activist or no? Just you just knew. No. Well, I mean, obviously, I got totally sucked into the whole. Was it around George Floyd when that way? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Like I said, oh, God, some of those podcasts I watched with you and then were so fucking hard to watch. Oh, God. Some of those podcasts I watched with you and them were so fucking hard to watch. Boz Reeves, by the way, if anyone wants to look it up, I will eventually have Cobra on the show, probably very shortly. But Boz Reeves was the original Lone Ranger. OK, tell me about this.

Oh, yeah. Oh, crazy. Crazy. They fucking culturally appropriated fucking the lone ranger um they were hard to watch because of the stuff i would say about mr mr floyd yeah the whole greg glassman and uh um that's when i think i really started to get challenged by you because like uh some of me like really kind of was hearing what you were saying, but the beat the drum, take the knee, do the things that you're supposed to be as a good half-Black lesbian woman, checkbox, checkbox, checkbox, would do. And so I'd be like, and then I wouldn't tell anybody that I was listening to you. And my wife would be like, are you listening to Siobhan again? And I'd be like and then i wouldn't tell anybody that i was listening to you and my wife would be like be listening to savannah again and i'd be like yeah um but yeah so i i dove fairly

quickly into the to the woke thing until and then i started slowly backing myself out of it as i was kind of watching all the different people you had on. What did you what did you see early on that made you like, like, for me, it was just starting to try to figure out where the racism was going. Like when they kept saying Trump was racist against Mexicans. I remember digging into that and being like, fuck, I, I can't find it. I just can't. I mean, I see what I see what they're saying. He said was racist, but I don't see that as racist. Was there any particular things where you saw a thread hanging down and you started pulling on it and you're like, oh, shit? Yeah, honestly, I think it was the movement to cancel Greg Glassman, and then there was the one with— Why? Because you were like, what's Floyd-19 even mean?

Kind of. There's no substance here? Like, where's the girl he raped? Or like, where's the... face was everywhere or weinstein they're just like yeah whatever and i'm like there's none of these like what where yeah i wasn't smoking good i didn't even understand what the article who wrote the article or what the article was for or any of it and i was just like i don't so then i just kept watching your stuff and then i just kept like actually looking through things instead of just whatever came up on my freaking Facebook feed, which I now know is a joke too, because it's just whatever they feel like. If I look at puppies, fucking Hillary Clinton pops up. Like, do you have a dog? Do I have two?

You have two dogs. I lost the little one, but i still have the big goofy one oh i'm sorry like you actually lost her like she ran away or someone stole no she died she was oh okay yeah and and so so it so it just started peeling back what did what did colleen think at the time did she have a strong stance on it share my newfound uh like red pill situation until i was pretty confident even now i'm still kind of detoxing like i'll catch myself like oh no don't automatically go there go look at something go read something go yeah it happens to all of us yeah i see people on the right all the time swinging too far to

the right too it's like whoa whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Calm down. Bring it back down. Like, I mean, I think I don't know if you saw this, but it just came out in the New York Post yesterday that the Cambridge Dictionary has now changed the word woman to like if you identify as but you might have not been born a woman like that's literally what their definition of a woman is. I was like, excuse me. It's not though.

It's not. You know what the fix is for that is just don't use the word. So then you, so you just switched to saying a people with vaginas. You just have to like, you have to, you actually just have to say that now if you want to be articulate. Yeah.

So I was hanging out with a bunch of my friends who have vaginas, and you just got to let it just flow off the top of your tongue, like if you want to denote that they're women. If they're going to take the word from us, it's okay. We have other words. It's insane. I'm just like, you've got to be kidding me. I have nothing against transgender people.

If you're an adult, do you. Like, that's fine. But I don't have to be an imaginary world too like i i i'll call you whatever you want you want your name to be whatever but i'm also not putting anything in front of the word woman i'm not describing myself as anything other than a woman you can't put any words in front of that for me like because then my last 30 years of periods meant nothing. Like just can't do that. I'm sorry. Like I can't. Uh, adult and adult human, adult female human being.

She's a really nice woman, a woman and two men were arrested today. An adult who lives and identifies as a female, though they may have not been said to have. Yeah, that. Yeah, what the fuck? Right? I'm saying. That's fucking hilarious. It's absurd.

What about female? Does it say, does it say, look up the word vagina for me really quick. I want to see what that, who that belongs to. See if that like. Don't bring up images. Yeah, don't do hit images. No, just hit. We'll get in trouble for that.

What did we look up one time? Giant penis. That was a fucking. Big, big guy. Yeah, don't do hit images, no. Just hit, we'll get in trouble for that. What did we look up one time? Giant penis? That was a fucking... Big, big guy. Yeah, big, big guy. It was a kangaroo something, too. That almost went south when you brought up kangaroo balls or something. So, vagina. The part of a woman...

Oh, so they got to change that, too, definition now. The part of a woman – oh, so they got to change that to definition now because the part of a woman or other female mammal's body that connects her outer sex organs to her uterus. It's a great spot. So does – I'm going to go back for another second, another question I had, and then we'll catch up to what happened. Does it ever trip you out? Does anyone ever know that you're black uh no no one ever do other black people know you're black uh yeah normally they know they can tell yep yeah my aunt says it's my nose it's fine yeah I don't know what it is but there's something about I mean you you could be if you said you were Cuban you look whatever you are you look like you're some outlier of it.

Like Canelo. That's why you remind me of Canelo. I have a lot of people come up, speak Spanish to me and just assume that I'm Spanish or Puerto Rican or something. Yeah. You look like you're Latin, but with some like crazy recessive gene or something like you look like a blue eyed Latin or something. Yeah, no, I'm not. I can't fit. I don't really fit any specific place. Like I'm not dark enough to be black. I'm not white enough to be white. Like I got a lot as a kid. What are you? But what's crazy is you are crazy white. I mean, you have crazy fair skin in In the wintertime, I am like see-through. Yeah. And then do you – can you get dark? Can you get tan?

Yeah, I'll get real tan in the summer. Yeah, interesting. Fascinating. And where is your – your mom was white and your dad was black. Where was your mom from? She – my grandparents are Swedish and English. And your dad, do you know what his descent is from Africa? I just know the Jamaican Bohemian.

Okay, okay. Did that cause any friction in your relationship with your wife, Colleen, as you started being like, hey, I want to rethink some of these these ideas um she looked at me with a side eye but she's always like like i said we're very good at communicating together we'll talk something out to death and it's not like we both have to agree on it to be okay but she's not trying to win you're no one's trying to win you're actually trying to understand shit it was a good um quote that I heard the other day. Do you want to be right or do you want to be married? Great advice. So what about the people around you? How long do you think that it's been since you've kind of been like, okay, I'm not doing the woke shit no more? around you how long do you think that it's been since you've kind of been like okay i'm not doing the woke shit no more i literally was the day that i that i texted you that i was just like i saw

uh xavier and i was like can't do it i can't even pretend to do it that i agree with half the crap because i do not do you remember what he said that um kind of was like the nail in the coffin uh look at i'm using basketball terms because i know you because i know i know my audience um oh god uh i think he was more or less just kind of talking about how his family would never like um would never go along with any of this and are just totally like he's kind of on an island by himself and i I was just kind of like, if he has the courage to do it, all I can hope is that politics and politics, religion, whatever, doesn't completely tear apart my family. I don't think it will.

Most of them are pretty cool and don't even care as much about this stuff as I do. But some of them do, and it might not be pretty as we start having more family reunions. I don't know. Find out. Um, how is your, uh, how is your wife and your son accepted when you go to family reunions on your dad's side? Oh, they love her. Absolutely love her. Love him. him uh he actually calls um you know my uh my sister's mom grandma because we don't have my mom so she actually he he calls her nanny so no they love her and do you play did you ever go through a video game phase i mean if you want to go all the way back to like mario brothers and super Nintendo. Yeah.

Another, another sign that you're a girl. Um, do, do, um, butch lesbians do, is there, do you know any girls who got sucked into video games?

Do lesbians ever do any of that stuff that adolescent boys do? Or I wish I would say that. I mean, yeah. Another sign that they, that they're, that they're separate from men, by the way,

they're Oxford dipshits who don't waste their life playing video games. Women. Yeah, I know. I've never, no. Honey, you got to go laugh in the other room. Tell me, tell me, we can't hear. Tell me about about that tell me about this 50 pound weight loss you had to tell me about how your paths crossed with crossfit oh uh yeah i well i got married and um we worked out a lot when we first worked got married and then just traditional gym stuff yeah just uh you know go 24 fitness and uh that crap daily bro flex um but then we, uh, we got, we both got kind of fat and happy cause we were married and marital bliss and eating out a lot and doing all of the wrong,

wrong things. Um, and then actually a buddy of mine, um, started getting back into shape and he was putting up all these CrossFit workouts that he was doing. And I was like, hell, I was like, you're the most unathletic kid I've ever seen in my life. How are you doing this right now? Like, what are you doing? And so I reached out to him, like, what are you doing? He's like, I'm doing CrossFit. And I was like, is that a workout? Like what? And then he was just, he showed me the website and the, um, I found CrossFit.com and. What year? What year? Uh, 2016.

Okay. Yeah. I was late to the party. Um, but. Still good year. Still good year to come in. Still good year. That's, um, yeah. And then I realized that a kid I used to babysit for, this is terrible, but I used to babysit for him, had his own gym, CrossFit gym. That was literally like

half a mile from my house. And, um, so I was like, I texted him. I was like, Hey, I was like, what do I have to do to be able to do CrossFit? And he was like, walk in the door. And I was like, what do I have to do to be able to do CrossFit? And he was like, walk in the door. And I was like. Perfect answer. So the dad, you babysitted for a family that owned a CrossFit gym? No, I used to babysit him when he was little. Oh, shit. Oh, shit.

Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Yep. So, yeah, he fixed me a lot. Hey, do lesbians make good babysitters, huh? are very because we're very protective man don't touch yeah hey do lesbians do lesbians um uh diddle people are lesbians safe like in general i know it's a sweeping generalization but if you had to pick like uh straight men gay men straight women lesbian women who do you you got to leave someone with a kid uh is there one you don't

pick any of the dudes i'm telling you right now don't not don't lose my greatest dude immediately i i would either go freaking i would go straight women on straight okay okay straight women okay safest choice to be with any child the most they'll do is neglect your kid and be making tiktok videos exactly put a mask on and scare them at school that's yeah we we definitely had that uh um there's been some weird pe teachers i'm just saying oh right right right good point good point yep i know yep i know exactly what you're talking about um i want to go back to the crossfit thing in a second but i want to go back to your kid do you ever leave your kid alone with any adults besides you and your wife?

We did not for a very, very long time. And it was my sister that ended up babysitting for us so that we could get date night or whatever. And then... What about Mima? Is she able-bodied enough no no he would he wasn't she wasn't um he would wreak havoc on her yeah it would be too much oh i know five-year-old boy you put him inside and fucking shit gets weird yeah no but and and

my and my wife did struggle with it a little bit more than I did about leaving him alone with anybody. Just now. And it's literally just my... He's like one of our best friends that we've known for 20 years that will watch him for us if we... It's a man? It's a man? And we know him, though. And all they literally do is play video games.

Send me his Instagram. I want to fucking vet his ass. He doesn't have instagram oh okay he's not that dude he just plays online video games like you said um i i i was a nanny for two boys um growing up i was in college um and in in hindsight i would have i i i just can't see myself leaving my boys with another boy. You? No, I was a great fucking nanny.

I did the funnest shit with them. They came from a traditional Chinese background. Both their parents were from Hong Kong. They probably thought it was weird that they ended up hiring a 19-year-old kid. But I would always just take him out in my truck and pound base. And I would always throw a pillow. I just roughed them up a lot they always ended up crying because i played with them too rough but that's how my uncle was with me when he babysat me he used to throw pillows at my oh fuck these kids and they loved it they wanted more i would do crazy shit to him throw

pillows at him so hard they'd come off ground and start crying and then be like, again, my kids are the same way. It's, um, when, when, um, do you guys ever, did your son spend that sleep in your bed a lot with you? No, that was one thing that I made sure immediately that, that he got his own room and his own crib with a monitor. Like, does he stay in there five months yes he does he doesn't want to come in does he come in the morning do you ever do you nap oh yeah in the morning uh

he'll wake up he as we were blessed thank god with a good sleeper and he goes to bed at like 7 30 and he gets up at like six and just hops up runs into our room but that's it he doesn't sleep in our room at all only when he's sick because one of the things we do um i never let the boys if no matter who stays at the house and i have no history of uh molestation or rape i don't know anything like that even remotely in my family i have a very but if anyone stays at our house like if matt came over and stayed at my house my kids would sleep in my room. Oh, yeah, yeah, that, yeah. You know what I mean?

Like no matter who, it doesn't matter. Like even my own dad, my mom, anyone. My kids, because I feel like I just have this obligation to mitigate that to the most extreme. I mean they don't know that's why they get to sleep in my room right but no we're the same way he if we're somewhere else at somebody else's house or like when we go up and and visit um family or whatever he he sleeps in the room with us he doesn't sleep by himself yeah and if there's anybody mean, not that we ever have anybody over our house, like, but if anybody stayed with us, they would, he sleeps with us. There's no.

Yeah. It's crazy if you leave kids alone, especially boys, the shit that will escalate very quickly. So even if I'm at a friend's house and they're playing periodically, my wife and I will take turns going up into wherever they are and check on them and it's not uncommon for then all of a sudden one of the kids be like hey he tried to touch my penis or hey he's telling me he wants me to pull my pants down and then you're like all right everyone come out of the room you guys don't be in the room anymore i mean boys are boys will get into their penises in no time oh my kid just found his penis oh hey is he doing the thing is he doing the thing where he pushes it inside out and then watches it like pop out again yep that was a great one when i saw my kids do that i'm like oh fuck i forgot i used to do that 45 years since i turned my penis inside out on the planet

other than my kid like pull his ball sack out to try to catch water in it when he's taking a shower yeah yeah it's all that stuff. All the things. All the things. All the things. I'm like, I don't know if you're supposed to be doing that, kid. I don't know if it's possible if you could break it or not. Nah, nah, nah. Whatever.

It's resilient. He'll learn. It'll hurt. He'll be like, oh, too far. Don't stretch that far. Andrew Hiller claims that because he wore so much compression shorts that it made the skin in his scrotum less resilient. And therefore, now that when he doesn't wear compression shorts, his balls hang lower. Are you making that up?

No, I'm serious. It's like the phenomenon of bras. Bras are supposed to keep your boobs up, but actually I think that they actually cause boobs to droop more for some reason for the mechanism. I don't know, but like reliant or something. I felt like just when I hit 40, it just started to go that way.

I don't feel like I had anything to do with my bra. I just hit 40 and it was like, oops, gravity, like gravity. Yes. What happened in my skin change? Also,

I've never worn pushup bras, so I don't know what that can do to you, but. Me neither. I have to ask a straight lady. So the thing with the family, you have a son, you have a wife. What's your day job? I work in a deli. Oh, you do? Oh, awesome. Yeah, that's your day job? I work in a deli. Oh, you do? Oh, awesome.

Yeah, that's why you're like you work in a deli and you're not Jewish too. Oh, that's right. God, I was so hoping you were Jewish. Good point. Do you have any Jews in the work in the deli? No. No? Do you make pastrami sandwiches?

Yes. Okay. And what's your wife do? Is she still in the same field? She coaches CrossFit.fit oh no shit okay okay oh yeah that's where we were okay so you guys are a fat happy married couple you asked kid you used to babysit for hey um can i join your gym he says yes and you go in by yourself or you take calling with you i went by myself to start with um but i should also preface this with

saying that i had a very bad spinal injury at one point and so my right hand didn't really work like i noticed one of your fingers is doing this yeah like it um so i couldn't like start a car tie my shoes any of that crap for like the longest time like i just lost so much muscle in my hand um so when i first went in there like i told him and he was like unless a truck runs you over like i can fix you and i was like okay dude that's a great crossfit coach what gym is that amazing he he was at crossfit 11968 but now it's crossfit warrior legion crossfit warrior legion and you still go there oh yeah yep wow what great coach. That's what they're supposed to say. Got type 2 diabetes? I'll fix that shit.

Yeah. As long as you haven't been run over by a truck, I'll fix you. And I'm like, sweet. What a great gym. CrossFit Warrior Legion. Okay. So, and you believe them? Yeah, because I've known them my whole life.

So, I was like, all right, cool. Like, if that's what, you know. Wow, they're really into the black friday shit oh my goodness she's a mess they don't i don't think they're oh the sales yeah that's a crossfit gym yeah they don't hashtag though like a lot like there's no they have great coaches but their instagrams all no their social media is not fantastic hey they got some marketing out there don't knock that you got to get people in the door man we gotta get people i think i've hashtagged them

a couple of times where there's like pictures of all that's a great gym though big space looks cool oh beautiful fun yeah yeah look at suza trying to defend his peers wait is that like a little those uh is that like the spin thing that you could do where you wrap yourself up in those yeah kind of spin around upside down and shit Like the Circus LA type crap God that's a nice gym Yeah I got a bunch of GHDs That's cool

Must be nice not live in California And get hammered out here So you start going in How long do you go before you bring Colleen in It might have been Maybe a week and i was like you have got to come do this you're gonna love this like this is so much more fun than what we've been doing um and so much more like engaging and mike is like i said mike's great he was just

the best dude ever and so uh yeah she came and then we started but then she got pregnant like literally two months later and she had a tough tough pregnancy so um she didn't get to really start until 2017 and uh any issues with you being a black a black woman uh entering the gym were they like sorry no blacks here no no any issues with you being a lesbian when you entered the gym uh sorry no lesbians here no a lot of questions though oh really tell me like what do you mean oh everyone is just so how do you know so how like no shit does it work how do you like i mean how does it work there's videos for that wow yeah yeah yeah yeah you got google hey do you think that that's because you're um

there's something about you that's um welcoming and warm a little bit yeah approachable why do you think people feel comfortable asking you that uh i think because i'm comfortable with me and i'm comfortable with myself and i just i'll i'll go toe-to-toe with the best of them like i don't care it's it's nothing that i haven't talked about or seen before. So maybe that's it. I just don't, I'm not like opposed to any question. And tell me about your wife getting pregnant. How does that, how does that work? You get, how do you choose? Do you, do you know who the dad is? Do you,

do you look at pictures and you're like him? Here you go, Hiller. Here's your answer. Why? Cause he asked on one of. Here's your answer. So why? Cause he asked on one of the shows, how'd she get pregnant? Yeah. He asked you how I got pregnant. And I was like,

I did not get pregnant. My wife did. Um, but yeah, we literally went on California cryo bank and they give you like the guy's height, weight, uh,

skin color, um, all that. So we just picked out one that kind of had the same body type and like eye color, hair color as me and weight like around the same body type. And then yeah, FedEx came in the mail. It was big ass jug, like this big.

And I was like, is that full? And they were like, no. So it's like two or three vials in there but i thought i just thought it looks like a big old school milk jug do you still have it no you have to send it back oh you can't keep that thing so so you just put your credit card down and you get three vials of semen Yep. And how much is that? Uh, I don't know if there's like freaking, God, what was this? What was the sperm count? It was like a five to 600 in each vial. Million?

Yeah, I think so. And, and, and it's all from the same dude? Yep. And is there, does it come in on ice yeah i think that's what that it's like a cryo like milk jug thing that keeps them cold and um uh how long before you get it do you have to put it in her um you have you only have about two days before that it gets like i would do that shit like right away i would just start thinking that shit's gonna get old yeah we normally do like pants off and how do you put it in her

oh i didn't the doctor did oh i'm not one i'm not old school enough lesbian for that i can't be doing that i might break the sperm the sperm might get defrosted wrong like no sperm sees you and just runs the other way i yeah i can't scare my babies but i did put a seat belt on the cryo tank to make sure they got to the doctor's office okay well good good yeah they already saved you first so so do you go with her to the doctor and and and so he he i mean she's laying on her back with her legs up in the air yep in stirrups and he how does he put it in her uh it's like a turkey baster yeah just not as big it's like it looks like it should be a needle but it's just like you know the to give little kids medicine yes yes or dogs like you squirt

that shit in dogs noses or some shit yeah a bigger version of that and um uh how far does he put that how big is that thing And how far does he put that? How big is that thing and how far? Does he have to put it like really far up there? It's uncomfortably big. It is. It is. Like long, long.

Yeah. Yeah. It's because it's called a IUI. So it has to go into, it actually goes all the way into the uterus. Can you pull up a, some uterus for me? That's like past like the diaphragm and shit. God, I used to know girl anatomy. I want to see like, and, and does he put all three vials in there?

You can do it at one time, but because it was like ovulation goes over the course of like two or three days. Typically we would probably do two on one day and one on the other day. How did she know she was ovulating? there's little tests that you can take um and also we were with a specialist too so he would actually like take her blood sample to see if she oh right okay did she know too did she did she know like her her cycle and her day yeah he had everything on a calendar. It was ridiculous. Hey, so that picture on the right over there, it says, like, labium minus and then vagina.

So the penis never goes past that. The penis just hangs out in there. But they had to push it through all that, the cervix. Yeah. Oh, my goodness. Hey, the ovaries really do look like testicles. I think the testicles are just made of a bunch of fucking strings like that too right you guys like your penis and balls are like our vagina just outside what a disaster when they made us whoever put the balls outside's a fucking idiot what a mess uh okay so then um that's it? First shot, she's pregnant?

No miscarriages, nothing? No, it took us two years to get him. How many semen? So you had to order a shitload of semen? From the same guy over and over and over? No. Oh. I would just call that dude and be like,

yo, let's cut out the middle man. Come here. Let's cut out direct to the source. Yeah. Seriously, it's just not cheap. but uh yeah we took breaks here and there because it was getting um it was tiring her out a little bit um we were at the special emotionally like emotionally tired now yeah yeah and it was literally on our last try that was on our wedding anniversary or our wedding anniversary that uh that she peed on a stick and she was pregnant

and that was we were gonna go like two years without trying and uh yeah she peed on a stick she was pregnant we were like and was that like two weeks after the the doctor put it in her yeah i think yeah whatever the time frame is um i's, yeah, I think you have to wait two weeks till you can pee on a stick. And then, then she got the blood test and a minute, the blood test came back that she was pregnant. She was sick on the couch for like three straight months. Couldn't eat. Awesome. Awesome. And, um, is that, did you guys do it like the cheapest way? Like, isn't there a way, like they can like, um they can tell you if it's a boy or a girl? You just do like, hey, get the semen in her.

No, just give us a baby. I don't need a freaking. What did you guys think when you found out you had a boy? Are you guys happy or you guys want a girl? I was so pumped when she told me. Because she actually found out and then came home and told me that it was a boy and uh oh my god i was i was so happy i totally wanted a boy first i mean i would have been happy with a girl but like yeah i wanted a little garrett so i was

happy how how many how many boys are there that are raised by two women do you know in the united states i know i well i i have a couple of friends with boys like but i don't know how many if i i wonder this is going to be fucking harsh but i for sure would rather have two moms and two dads a thousand times out of a thousand times i think people really need their moms. Um, but, but you don't have a dad. You don't, you don't have a father. Do you think about that, that he doesn't have a father? Yeah, I do. Um, but we picked a, we tried to do it the healthiest way we could, where we picked a donor that at the age of 18, if he wants to try to find

his dad, he can. I just mean in terms of um growing up impression like like what's gonna put the impression on him yeah give him that kind of that energy that what whatever dads do who's gonna get who's gonna give him that i do i think about it a lot i mean thankfully we just because of the crossfit gym too like he's got a lot of strong males that have known him since he was born that he's he's always with us at the gym he's never not been at the gym with us like except for maybe those first like two months after he was born but otherwise he's been in the gym with us with these dudes for a long time they all know him they all love him like he gets piggyback rides and they do pull-ups with him and whatever so like i think just responsibly i'm trying to like surround him with the healthiest

male role models that i can possibly surround him with yeah um does he have any questions has he spotted that like okay i only have uh you know two two moms or or i i don't have a dad or has he does he piece some shit together like or or even i guess in the inverse i guess it would be more like this how fuck what happened to that poor kid he got stuck with a dude i mean does he like how does why doesn't he have two moms well he uh no i mean for a little while he was again trying to figure out why i'm like well he definitely wants to know why you don't have a penis like yeah he like you all want to know that we all want to know that what happened to you yeah like he's he's kind of like you know well no just like he knows mommy's a girl but then he looks at me and visually to him i don't look like a girl, but then he looks at me and visually to him, I don't look like a girl.

So like, we've had to have those conversations where yes, mommy's still a girl. Mommy's a girl and mommy's a girl. I just look different. So that's kind of happening right now. But other than that, I mean, nothing. I mean, he watches Peppa Pig and he knows daddy pig and mommy pig and whatever so like i mean he's aware that there's a daddy out there somewhere right right god um he's in good hands i don't i don't doubt that yeah you're a fucking wonderful you're a wonderful human being i think it's so important that people who for the like the two reasons i said the beginning of the show so so people get to see someone who looks like you and grew up like you and they can understand that like hey you're just a person right because if no i think a lot of people don't know a butch lesbian and so they have, they might see you like at Walmart,

or they might see you at the movie theater or some shit like that. And they immediately have this like impression of you. Yeah. And then on the other hand, you know, people, and then on the other hand, I think it's also good for people who do fit like your demographic, right? A butch lesbian who, that they also see like, Hey, I don don't i don't have to behave the way they tell me to behave just because i'm a butch lesbian i can still have my own thoughts i can be my own person yeah i mean i just don't want to check anybody's boxes anymore like you don't think for two seconds that the dems brought home britney griner because she checks all the boxes for her their voter fucking if she was a just a

white person over there they never brought her home they wouldn't have bargained for crap like they he she checks all of the boxes that they need they i just don't want to be a box to check like well it gives you a really it gives you a really um important message it's interesting because you know we had xavier de russo on and obviously that you said that that had an impact on you that was kind of the straw that broke the camel's back and i promise you that you being on this show will also have that same effect i hope so yeah um do do can people uh reach out to you who want like who have you know I'm sure a lot of people are going to be like fuck I need to talk to this girl yeah absolutely yeah I'll scroll through everything I did I was I'm kind of surprised but I'm happy but yeah if yeah you can

absolutely dm me and I'll uh I'll go through them all awesome well, thank you so much for coming on. I'm so glad that, uh, that, that we've, you know, built this friendship. Um, I can't, can't wait. I can't wait for, I kind of, uh, can't wait for another six months or a year to go by so I can have you on again and we can talk about what's going on with the boy and Colleen and your life. I'm sure I'll have plenty of boy questions to ask you. And you know, what's crazy is i don't even know like i see a lot of it's like i'm like wow did i do that with my penis too like it's a trip we're a cookie creature i know there's more so i'm just gonna wait for the sock question to happen or whatever one one superficial question though that i know the commenters are dying to know

is can you and have you ever been able to dunk uh i could grab the rim i couldn't get oh i could grab the rim but i couldn't get the uh the actual ball into the basket there you go david all right get off it i asked is that was that grinder's claim to fame i mean obviously she's an amazing fucking athlete but she was the first woman to dunk she wasn't the first lisa leslie was the first but uh she was at the height where it was the most popular at the time she just fell into that time frame that it was like perfect she came out she started dunking in college and then like her her she rode that that into the wmba is she one of the best players in the WNBA? I don't watch. No. Okay. Not even a bit. Okay. Gotcha. Um, Oh, sorry. Uh, thank you, Garrett. Great podcast. Uh, inspiring person.

Yeah. Amazing, amazing, uh, journey. You are always welcome to come on also, by the way, if there's any time sooner, you ever want to come on and be like, Hey, I'm ready. I want to talk about this, or I want to share this message. I won't keep you on for two hours unless you want it, but you're always welcome to come on. It's super easy to talk to. I was just glad Susan was here. I felt like if it was just you, that would have been like, I was like, oh, it's too intimate. Too intimate. I got you. I got you. All right. Uh, thank you. Uh, I'll see you in the text messages. Tell Colleen, uh, thanks for letting us borrow her wife for the morning. I will. Thanks guys. Thanks so guys thanks so much have a good one

incredible story yeah that was way easier than i thought i knew i was gonna love her she was she was great she was awesome seriously i feel less alone with my story good Good. Yeah. I mean, it's so fucking important for people who've gone through what she's gone through to fucking speak up just for other people. It's going to be okay. You're going to make it. Yeah, it was funny. I was last she was going through and was talking about, you know, the stuff that was going on with her stepdad and things. I was like, I was sitting there just thinking to myself, like, damn, a pity party you know it's cold in the gym it's that december lull we're trying to

get new members in all of a sudden i was like fuck those aren't even problems dude those are blessings i have a visceral reaction i have a visceral reaction i think really dark thoughts when someone tells me that they were raped like about the the person like doing like harm to the individual that did it i have really dark thoughts it's so crazy and i'm not a dark person at all you know it's really really fucking like uh i feel um yeah like kidnap them put them in the closet just open it every now and then just to beat them and torture them and just no i i immediately go to them being dead and how i would get away with it yeah how can i how can i kill someone without getting caught as i my brain just goes

there it's so fucking it's not it's not it's not comfortable for me that's fucking for sure it's so fucking such a trip yeah you know what's weird too what kind of monster brings that fucking guy back well let's say that's the thing so i told you a while back my my uh my buddy from high school my really good friend nick you you met him briefly on the beer 30 and it's like um he had a he had a girlfriend that a stepdad that was doing it to her and her sister but she was much older she She was like 16. And it had been going on for years. And it was the same situation where the mom was just in complete denial, and then almost like attacked the daughters for coming out and saying, let's see what you guys

are doing. You're ruining this whole situation. And you're making a big deal out of this. And it was like, what the fuck? Like, how could you even take that position? But it's unfortunately, it's a little bit more common than you would think. And I think I've heard it. I've heard it a bunch. And I think you said it on the, you hit the nail on the head when you were like, well, if they just live in denial, denial is a real thing. You could push that shit down and just fucking go about your life as much as you can. And I think that if they, if they push that person out, they have to accept it, and if they accept it, they have to accept the responsibility of the act, right? Like you said, you're being complicit, therefore a compli- Right, you invited the wolf into the den with your kids.

Caller, hi. Yo, what up, yo? What's up, dude? How we doing? What's up, Siza? What's up, Siobhan? How we doing, folks? Good, I'm feeling like a douchebag for not adjusting my camera before the show.

Like, I got the top of my computer monitor here. I'm not centered. Other than that, folks? Good. I'm feeling like a douchebag for not adjusting my camera before the show. Like, I got the top of my computer monitor here. I'm not centered. Other than that, I'm great. I'm really excited. I was really nervous about the podcast this morning. I think y'all did a pretty great job, man. Honestly. Thank you.

So do I. It's cool that you brought on. I mean, I'd never expect you to. I've never seen that type of podcast before. Honestly, it's pretty cool, man. Y'all are definitely branching out. So don't call y'all whatever, phobe, this, blank, that anymore now.

You got social clout. Thank you. But question for you guys, honestly, I'm trying to make sense of this. I am glad that she's back safe, but the merchant of death for a civilian, she has to be a spy. That's the one thing I can think that would make this possible

or even remotely logical. She's got to be a spy, and they said, we're going to put you in Russia, you'll get nabbed, and then we'll come get you. Like, that is the only way that this can make any sense. Guy, can you imagine using her as a spy, a 6'9 black woman? I mean, like, basically what you're saying is you chose someone who's so obviously not a spy a six foot nine black woman i mean like you that basically what you're saying is you chose someone you choose someone who's so obviously not a spy and so you make them a spy so

they never think about it fuck i don't know hey bro i saw something yesterday that joe biden said he said by any means i'm paraphrasing but by any means necessary we need to protect transgender children think about the word fuckery of that transgender children is like saying um uh uh protect santa claus by all means yeah there's no such thing as a transgender child right there's no such thing and i think she did a great job of articulating that. How did a child get the identity of transgender? You're protecting an abomination that a fucking mentally ill adult created. Facts. Like kids have a very –

And so the fact that the president of the United States would say that, the fact that our president of the United States would juxtapose those two words together to give the illusion that such a thing exists as a transgender child is psychopath. It's all votes. It's all votes. Psychopath. Yeah, you're right. What Micah Parsons tweeted, we're still not voting for you either way, even though you got Brittany Griner out of jail. But black folks are still not voting for you, bro. I don't care.

What kind of folks? What did you say, black folks? Yeah, Micah Parsons tweeted when Brittany Griner got out, and we still ain't voting for you, bro. I don't care. What kind of folks? What'd you say? Black folks? Yeah, Micah Parsons tweeted when Brittany Griner got out, and we still ain't voting for you, Joe. So, whatever. Good job, but you're not getting our votes. Are you a black guy? I'm

as black as it gets. Oh, shit. God, you sound exactly like my friend Travis Bajent. You sound like a West Virginia white guy. Bro, I can tell West Virginia, so I'm probably not from West Virginia. What did you say about West Virginia? I can actually smell West Virginia, so I'm probably not from West Virginia. There.

There. Hey. I'm sorry, West Virginians. I'm sorry but i do i do i i am i am i i do have a um when i put on my daddy hat i do i am i am happy for grinder's parents i really am oh same i'm so glad she got back a penal colony no one no one should be there yeah it's horrible oh yeah i just think under the circumstances that i just feel like russia played this administration and realized, oh, hey, they got voted in because of the woke, you know, Black women,

Black people, like minority vote. And if they don't double down on that, they're going to get screwed come 2024, whenever the next presidential election is. And so we have to get her out of there or we risk losing power. So, yeah, Richie got out. But, I mean, like, if anybody has any,

like, just think for a second and look at the optics, it's pretty obvious what's happening here, that we got played, and now they got back this guy who literally sells dead for a living, and then we got back Rudy Griner, which is fantastic, but, like, that's like trading an N for a tiger. Hey, how did you figure all this out?

How did you wake up? Were you towing the party line for a while? I mean, so, where I grew up, it was, like, Hey, how did you figure all this out? How did you wake up? Were you toeing the party line for a while? this close to getting sucked into the shadow realm of all that. And then one day I was like, hold up a second. Some stuff isn't adding up. And the fact that it turns, oh, well, you're a black guy. I can help you. You need my help. Who said I needed your help? You let me take care of me.

I'd rather die on my own terms. I'll go down swinging. I don't need you to save me or to riot for me or to be offended for me. I'd rather just look at life from my own perspective, my own biases, my own point of view. I'm swinging. I don't need you to save me or to ride for me or to be offended for me. I'd rather just, you know, look at life from my own perspective, my own biases,

my own point of view and make an informed decision. And from there, it just kind of evolved, I suppose, into the same things as either it's crap or it's not crap. I don't care if you're Republican or Democrat, if it's BS, BS. How could there be,

how could there be a bronze statue of fucking George Floyd but there not be a fucking statue of liberty the size of Denzel Washington that's the kind that's the kind of shit that fucking blows me away

it's not well so I mean like I've listened to your podcast I didn't even know like he was I guess his background I mean no one deserves to die that way

so I'm not disputing that no one should ever die that way or be treated that way I just mean'm not disputing that. No one should ever die that way. Right. Or be treated that way. I just mean, I know it's background, I suppose.

But what I will say is, it's, it's what do you call it? It's convenient. Denzel Washington is like, so well to do, good looking or whatever. Yeah.

Good looking guy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like well to do successful, done great for himself, you know, high moral fiber,

you know, doesn't, doesn't do love scenes because he's married right all of the above so it's not going to be as uh sexy or as trendy on twitter or whatever to have like the really great successful black guy as a statue versus the oh look man that's a black guy we can help because you know black people just like that you need it wow you just said it it's the black guy you can help only the people that we can help because, you know, black people are just like that. You need it. Wow, you just said it. It's the black guy you can help.

Only the people that we can help, doesn't matter if you're black or white, are the ones, yeah, that's crazy. It's ridiculous. Celebrate the victims, not the, wow, wow. So that's, I had it explained to me like this when I was a kid. It was Republicans supported rich people and the Democrats supported poor people. And then when I got older, I finally – it fucking made sense to me once I did the math. Republicans want people to be rich. Democrats want to keep people poor because it's how their ideologies function.

Keep them dependent. Yeah, to keep them dependent. Pathology is a function. Keep them dependent. Yeah, to keep them dependent. Give me a fair shake. Get out of the way. What would Kobe do on the court?

He'd do a hand signal. Give me the ball and get the hell out of the way. I'm going to the hole. Give me the ball. Give me a fair shake. And if I fail, fine. I fail. But I'd rather fail going as best as I could than just, it's almost like you feed a person a fish

for a day to eat, feed them a fish to eat forever. Teach me to fish. Don't just feed me and lead me to be dependent on you. That is not how life works. Do you have kids? Handouts are good. If you need help, fine, help.

Right. At some point, you cannot keep taking handouts. You gotta get it on your own, bro. That's life. Is it a pleasant reality? No, but that's what those are rules. You have to get it or just sit around and do nothing and just collect checks.

And then what make, and what do you make of your life at that point? Uh, do you have kids? No, I don't have kids. Not yet. One day,

maybe. Uh, uh, it's interesting just how smart you are without kids. I just feel like when people have kids at One day, maybe. It's interesting just how smart you are without kids. I just feel like when people have kids, they got to level up. They got to get rid of that victim shit. Devesh Maharaj. I'm an immigrant, dude.

This guy says. Drive you up to court. You have to win quick. Yep. There it is. Devesh Maharaj. Immigrant in a completely Democrat democrat family i recently got my citizenship and voted in the last election my mom said she was disappointed in me when she found out i registered

republican i hear you i hear you he and i sound very similar i'm not republican i'm actually independent i'm not republican or democrat but i'm like, my parents, like, you got to vote blue. They Democrats care about black people. I said, oh, word. Okay, cool. Even if you look at the history of the Democratic Party, I know they like to say that the script is flipped, but every single fucking all the racist origins of this country come from that party. And so I don't give a fuck what you say. It's like... It's a fucking...

I don't buy it. We live in a fucking bizarro world, dude. Hey, what state do you live in? What state do you live in? I'm sure I grew up in the D.C., Maryland area. I'm currently living in Utah. Oh, shit. So you grew up in a pretty hard area.

Are you Mormon now? No, sir. Nah, man. You're never going to get married in Utah unless you're Mormon. You better, better get over to the tabernacle. I didn't come here to get married, brother. I came here to get paid. Right. Right. Uh, um, uh, that, so you grew up in a tough area. Did you say D.C., Baltimore? No, D.C.

D.C. like Bethesda, Northwest D.C. Silver Spring, really. I just went to school in Bethesda because we were kind of in that region. It wasn't as a – I won't call it the hood or anything. It was a little sketchy when I first started living there growing up, but I wouldn't buy any names called like a South Side Chicago or like a Baltimore or anything. If you're stupid enough, sure. You can get in some trouble,

but if you have decent deductive reasoning, you should be able to kind of mind your own business and just don't go where you're not supposed to go. If you're not from there, pretty much just typical, like living in a city, I just smarts, I guess.

How did you find this podcast? I mean, I've been, I've been crossfitting. I started messing around with crossfit in 2015, right out of college. And then I, you were the head of media, so I was watching all the different docs, different movies and whatnot.

And so I saw you have it with Matt and Josh first, and then you had your own. And so I just kept watching it. It kept growing. And so you're a lot of blues and stuff. You buy stuff. I thought you all do a pretty good job. And you talk about some hilarious content. And you're pretty brash. and you're a pretty, uh,

brash and you keep you pretty straightforward, which I appreciate. Nothing is, uh, I guess, uh, fluffed up or whatever you want to call it, whatever the best way is to describe that.

So yeah, just kept watching, tuning in. Well, I fucking, I, I really, I really appreciate it.

And I, and I appreciate you, uh, calling in. Hey man, you're a good dude. for the coffee appreciate y'all well i guess y'all are paper street now so i guess we can we can redact that last statement awesome all right ma'am appreciate y'all yeah thank you thank you

you can talk to that dude all day long yeah that was a great caller and you know what's funny too is like usually when callers go that long you start to see it in the comments people are like you know okay next next and people are loving loving it this guy's awesome send this guy a link like it was a lot of great stuff great caller great show in general today really man the thing is this the the one of the most powerful things is this also to help understand what the democrats want to do who do you want to give your money to do you do you want to spend your money yourself so if you go to you want to spend your money at crossfit livermore or would you rather not go to crossfit livermore pay more in taxes and put faith in your politicians

to spend your money for you because that you have to see in the most simplistic sense that is exactly what's going on if you vote democrat you lose the power of the vote that your dollar makes they allow you to keep more of your money they allow they they they lower the the barrier of entry for all business for all of the things that you can do in the world with money. Democrats put up barriers to it. I don't mean that in a negative way, and they do it in the guise of protecting you. So they collect more taxes so they can pay it to the poor.

They put up more barriers to opening small businesses so they can protect you. So they can protect you. It's all in the sense to protect you, but it has to filter through that big machine that's the government. So you pay your taxes. Joe Biden takes his cut. And then the thousand people between Joe Biden and the guy wearing the fucking orange jacket on your city streets. The money evaporates. It gets filtered through a thousand people. I'm giving this simplistic vision.

Obviously, it doesn't go straight to Joe Biden, but you know what I'm saying. It pays everyone at the top, and then it comes all the way down. And after it filters through a thousand politicians, you have to remember politicians are no different than people on welfare. They're basically people just raising their hand, trying to take from our taxes. And I'm not saying that there aren't some valid people in there looking out for us, but the vast majority of that is a bureaucracy that takes your money and then finally it shows up on your city street to fill a pothole. Or would you rather just go pay,

would you rather just some kid be nice to you at Starbucks and give him a tip and reward him for his behavior and train people yourself. I prefer to train people myself. I think I'm really fucking good at it to reward. If you let me keep my money, I'll reward the right people. There's no such thing as wasting money. You have to know that that's a misnomer. That's like saying transgender kids. There is no, there's nothing you, there's no buying a Lamborghini or a wedding ring. There's probably things that you're better off that you do with your money But what money never gets wasted as long as people are spending it the economy keeps rolling forward don't fall for any of these tricks

It doesn't matter if some republican buys a super fucking trident missile system that money's not wasted It creates thousands of jobs And as long as the the economy's churning it's fine. It will find the right way. But the trust has to be put back in the people. And it wouldn't even be as terrible if it was just our tax dollars, but they're borrowing from our future and your future and the debt to the other countries. So it's not even like it's a, it's like you pay your dollar in taxes and they're going to spend a dollar. You pay a dollar in taxes and they spend $10, your dollar now and nine of your future dollars. Will says Democrats are the problem.

Look at the upcoming generation, 18 to 30-year-olds. They're 70% Democrat. This is going to get worse. I don't know. Well, here's the thing. Ask yourself what's the largest ran state-funded institution in the United States? Oh, schools. So they're just brainwashing to make more Democrats.

Bingo. Well, what's the culture throughout schools, the invisible layer of the padilla? That is the largest cultural institution. Not cultural institution, but that's the largest ran state. It has more money than the defense budget. Crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy. And then ask yourself, why are test scores getting worse? Why are schools like, why the fuck are teachers buying their own supplies and trying to give the resources that they need to have the kids have the education?

And it's because we're hiring more and more administrative people and everything else. And the money doesn't even funnel to education. Oh, Will, we're not too late. Stop it. Stop it, Will. There's never such thing as too late, too late. It's just a mindset.

But it's one of those situations where that needs to be unraveled. And we really have to question. And the thing is, you can't question it, right? Because you're a doctor. You're not a school administrator. to be unraveled and we really have to question and the thing is you can't question it right because you're on a doctor you're you're not a school administrator so you you what do you know you can't ask those questions it's like no you you should ask those questions and it also school needs a massive upgrade it's just taught to to memorize systematize oh so we'll saying that he did mean democracy uh we can't vote our way out of this it's it's never going to be a

vote it's going to be personal responsibility and people starting within their own local communities and getting involved into those politics which you can make a direct influence on with the people in you and your city council and then it's going to start to to spread out from there it was 350 billion eric i heard him say say Biden to inject new energy. I heard $350 billion to Africa, Biden. $8 billion. That's why I know that's a lie. We're not giving $350 billion to Africa, I promise you.

Did you hear about the fusion over here at my Livermore Lawrence lab? Hop, skip, and a jump away from the gym. No, what happened? They created fusion. Oh, no. I don't know. They always say, you mean cold fusion? I don't know enough about it.

They always say that there's always some jackass who claims they've done cold fusion. That pops up every couple of years. No, but this is like, oh, okay, well, it pops up every couple of years. I was going to say this was pretty widespread news. And the guy who was the head of the project over here at lawrence livemore was like really excited about its future implication everything you need to know about nuclear oh nuclear fusion and how it works uh nuclear fusion happens when two or more atoms are fused into one larger one a process that generates massive amounts of energy is heat

something scientists hope to be able to harness oh as opposed to the way they do nuclear energy now as they split an atom this is fusing two together yeah and apparently it was like wow whatever the power of the laser was you know was like two and it output three so it got like a net uh positive one and again i have not researched this so i probably really shouldn't even do until i look into it a little bit more. But apparently – I'll help you out here, Sousa. I'm a scientist. Awesome.

Put your laptop. Armenians are very smart. Let me just think for a second. Let me see. In a huge donut-shaped machine called the Takamak, outfitted with giant magnets, scientists working near Oxford – where they just changed the definition of woman, right? No, no, no. Yeah. Oxford, where they just changed the definition of woman, right?

No, no, no. We're able to generate a record-breaking amount of sustained energy. Even so, it only lasted five seconds. Well, I'm able to do that too, actually. I'm able to put a huge amount of energy out at any one given time, but it usually lasts only a few seconds. The first energy step. Easy what?

Easy what? Okay. Thank you, Jessica. Thank what? Easy what? Okay. Thank you, Jessica. Thank you. Trust the science. I don't. Tomorrow. Oh, tomorrow I'm trying to get Brian Friend on for a morning show,

All Things CrossFit. I'm going to ask him what the fuck is going on over at the morning chaga. I'm going to ask him, uh, where, uh, all about Roman Krennikoff. I'm hearing rumors that he has, uh, changed coaches and he's at a new place. I'm going to ask him, how did they,

uh, pick their national champions this year? Um, I'm going to ask him why, uh, he is not the commentator for water blues. I'm gonna ask a bunch of questions. What is going on in the world of CrossFit and Brian Friend's life? So hopefully I can

get them on tomorrow at 7 a.m. We can talk about that. All right. Maybe I'll do two shows tomorrow. I'm so excited to be back in my studio. Yeah. You're in your place again. Okay. I got to pace over. Okay. Bye, guys. Thank you so much.

Everyone have a good day. Buh-bye. Buh-bye.