The Sevan Podcast - #711 - FitWars Pre-Show | Tetlow vs. Mertens

Episode Date: December 19, 2022

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Let's go seize the night. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Visit amex.ca slash yamex. Benefits vary by car and other conditions apply. I thought she was a brunette. Allegedly. Bam. Alive.

Allegedly. I went on your Instagram account yesterday looking for pictures to use for you in the thumbnail, JR. I didn't find any because all of them. I told you that you wouldn't find anything. But I did notice your your wife is hot but i also thought she was a brunette unless you got a new one since no this is just number two i mean number one oh okay um there there's there's a couple reasons why i do this podcast the absolute first reason i do this podcast is for this, the money. Eric Brandt, nice job with Garrett. Just purely, just purely, Sevan. Absolutely, I do this podcast hoping one day it will make enough money

so I won't end up accidentally selling one of my houses to fucking put food on my table. Was one of my houses a humble brag? I don't know. I don't even mean to brag. When you're as great as me, it just happens. But I want to tell you, there's nothing. I can't tell you how hard this DM hit me this morning.

And I was smiling like I was on mushrooms. It was just crazy absolutely insane i want i want to read this to you to you guys we had a guest on the other day named garrett glinton hi good morning caleb good morning jr good morning mr souza is matt growing his hair out like i've heard that like i heard that like three times yesterday it's about to be cut how the fuck do i know i'm a fucking news news man look I like the way JR is looking at his wife like she's a steak um this is someone wrote this after seeing the Garrett Garrett Garrett uh Glinton podcast if you have not seen that podcast and you have kids, then you're making a huge mistake.

I promise you, if you want to be a good person and you're not sure if you are and whether you have empathy or not and you haven't seen that, you need to see that. I want to say that it's probably one of the most valuable podcasts on the internet today. It's a subjective opinion, but I just can't, um, I just can't emphasize enough. Okay. So I got this DM. I got it this morning. I didn't, I asked if I could read it and I didn't get a response, but I'm going to read it anyway, because it doesn't have the person's name on it. So here we go. I mean, the person didn't have time to respond. Good morning, Sevan. I just finished your podcast with Garrett and I wanted to reach out to say thanks again for doing what you do. When I first saw the thumbnail, I was completely uninterested in watching a podcast about a lesbian.

But I should have known by now that when it comes to you and your content, the person matters far more than the label. And she could not be. And she would not be the annoying woke type. I do not agree with any of the ideas of the rainbow people, but I also believe that we are all children of God, and as representatives of Him here on earth, we also need to love all people regardless of what we think. So I checked my initial feelings of judgment and turned in to hear a perspective of life that I figured might be very aggravating to me, but at the same time, might also give me better perspective and help me to have a softer heart on a subject that I disagree with. I enjoyed the podcast very, very much. I love the questions you asked, and I love

how Garrett recognized their validity and gave straightforward and honest answers rather than the backwards messaging that runs rampant these days, basically saying fatherhood is not needed and is overrated. Here it comes. Here comes the hammer. Ready? bothers me to know that upon first look there are subconscious ideas that people have about me because of media and they would be shocked to know that i wholeheartedly disagree with most of what the world says i stand for just because of my skin color and the irony is i projected that exact same thinking onto garrett just by seeing the picture of the podcast sorry for writing so much i don't think i've done justice with words, how much I appreciated that one. But all I can say is thanks again. So, so, so much for your podcast, your time, your candor and your passion. Fucking stoked. What a nice note there you go probably just stick to that first one don't tell me what to do

um man um man man oh man guys just fucking love it just love it it's now it's a I mean I get a lot of very very cool DMs but now I've had two that it's just like I'm done

we did it done it only took us 700 shows this time instead of the 500. Say that again, Caleb. It only took us 700 shows. I know, right? And that's it. 200 more than you wanted. Good morning, Mrs. Howell.

Becca, say good morning. Good morning, Mrs. Howell. Good morning. She gone. Hey, that's J. Good morning, Mrs. Howell. Good morning. She gone. Hey, that's JR Show 1. That was JR a year ago. That's about as interactive as JR was on his first show. Now he's rubbing in his wife's face.

Yo, what's wrong? Yon Clark, good morning. Kenneth, good morning. Patrick, good morning. Damien, good morning. Omar Cornejo. Cornejo. Good morning. Matt Burns, Austin Hartman, Kenneth DeLapp, Heidi K. Good morning, Omar. Cornejo. Cornejo. Good morning.

Matt Burns, Austin Hartman, Kenneth DeLapp, Heidi Kroon, The Shiz. Get your graphics at The Shiz. Ken O'Connor, Elise Carr, Radau, Alex Mallard. Quack, quack. Hey, every time I see Alex Mallard's profile pick,

I think of Legally Blonde. Is it from that movie or do you think that's really her i think that's really her yeah crazy um rb should we start early by saying sebon is the funniest guy ever sorry he said he wanted that just just once. Thank you. Sorry. Well, that makes me feel good, dickhead. Mark Moss, good morning. Key, Matt. Yeah, right? Right? Spot on. Awesome.

If that was an accident, that was amazing. RB, good morning. Jeremy, good morning. Alex, it's me. She says it's me. It's she says it's me it's me it's me she says it's me okay all right jeffrey birchfield uh thanks for the um nice dm yesterday jeffrey uh always love hearing from you brother um one of the real athletes uh coming on are we gonna see mertens and tetlow you are going to see mertens and tetlow asuza you'll send them links at some point yeah okay uh i want to show you guys an instagram post that someone sent me that i didn't um quite understand and i want to know if you guys

understand it can you can you pull that one up uh caleb caleb the only caleb is the only man in podcasting in the podcasting world that's allowed to eat while he podcasts by the way thank you no one else should ever do that well he does it so respectfully and silently too like i don't even notice if you didn't know i wouldn't i wouldn't have noticed and i've never seen any i keep waiting for someone to talk shit about him eating on the show no one ever does if anyone else were to eat like if Chase were on here eating, people would be like, what's Chase doing? Why is Chase eating? Oh, shit.

Okay. So this is an Instagram post someone sent to me, and I wrote back, I didn't get it. I don't get it. And they had to explain it to me. And once they explained it to me, I felt like a jackass. It says, you can't just respect the penis you've gotta honor the box thank you caleb thank you just want to thank you thank you just we all be doing a little house cleaning okay i didn't even that's that's amazing right that's amazing okay i also want to start the show this morning.

I'm showing you guys what strong looks like. In case you didn't know, I was dropping a deuce this morning. I opened this Instagram. I cannot believe. Is this just ridiculous? This is 220 fucking pounds. Hold it.

Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? Power clean to hang clean with 220? Damn. This is strong right no just pretty strong strong to me serviceable sir okay well one context i mean i mean i mean can all the games can all the games girls games athletes do that every single one i mean can rebecca foosley i do that let's start let's start down there with petite and um lucky to make it to the games oh rebecca i know you're

watching can you or can't you it's a good question thank you what was their complexes from semifinals because that complex is harder and I feel like they all did somewhat close to that. Was she going to go for another one? JR's not even impressed. He's scratching his nuts. No, I'm actually looking at the syndicate leaderboard. She was at syndicate, right, Chase?

Yeah. Machine Fest. Oh, here we go. Rebecca just did hand clean at 225 or 235 the other day she was at the mac wow wow same thing crazy all right well thank you patrick i just i i just can't believe she can hold on to the bar so she had 200 pounds in that complex. Okay. Now is that power clean, front squat, hand clean, jerk or something like that?

Three cleans. Three cleans and a jerk. Two squats, one jerk. Oh, yeah. Okay. All right. Sorry, Camila. You're not that strong. I was just taking a deuce and was overwhelmed.

Okay. Could you play that YouTube video? This is the YouTube video i chase i keep congratulating myself about i don't know if you've seen it yet you thought that got by me yesterday no i sent it to you i said it to you on purpose just to keep you just wind up the toy you think that got by me yesterday um so so right right here, can you just play the first 11 seconds here? We own this video. It's funny because I never noticed this until this morning.

Affiliate that completely goes unnoticed, and that is the fact that the CrossFit affiliate system is a small business miracle. The barrier of entry is low. The quality of performance. Look at this guy in the red shirt. This is how JR looks at his wife you're not wrong enamored i don't know where we got this clip from but this looks like totally one of those dei clips doesn't it look at they got the kid they got the man they got

the little older kid then they got the woman and then they got some dude who's just that dude was for surely in vietnam and he's working through some ptsd right now i mean look at him that is insane that look listen don't look at anyone like that unless you're about to fucking it's the only look he's got since now yeah i wish my athletes would all look at me like that when explaining the workout i mean my goodness they're all somewhere else. Yeah. A bunch of cats.

Yes, yes. I think he's going to tuck a napkin in his shirt and pull out a fork and a knife like in the cartoons. Oh, my goodness. Okay. We're almost to the show, people. We're almost to Fit Wars. We're almost to Fit Wars. I want to point out this. Can you play the one that says spam here?

This is a little bit of a longer clip, but this is – I want to talk to you guys about common sense here. And this will be a nice segue into what we're going to talk about this morning, common sense. It's the food that they think is the same is not the same anymore. Everybody's for free choice. Whether we're liberal or whether we're conservative, we've all got that streak in us. But the fact is, you cannot have free choice unless you have an informed choice. And you can't have an informed choice if they're lying about what's on the label. What about Pam cooking spray? Everybody knows what PAM is. It's some kind of little healthy oil with compressed air that you spray it and it gets on your pan.

It's not compressed air. And they don't tell you, but it's butane and propane. People don't understand that they are spraying lighter fluid on their children's hotcakes. and it's fabulously successful. But we can sue their pants off. It's the food. We can sue their pants. Listen, if you think that there's anything that comes out of a fucking can that you should be spraying onto your food and it doesn't set off red flags,

you're asleep. You're just asleep. I'm just telling you, you're asleep. You're a fucking zombie and you're asleep and you're not paying attention and you just don't know how to think. Same thing with the microwave. Same thing with using any kind of plastic cooking utensils. You're just asleep. You don't get it. You're not like, wait a second, I'm using this spatula that's made of plastic and a pan that's fucking boiling shit. And I don't think some of that plastic, you're just fucking not thinking. Wake the fuck up. Don't spray shit out of a fucking can onto your food. And with that same thinking process, you would be insane to think Scott Tetlow has a fucking chance against Colton Mertens. What a transition. Just use your fucking brain by the way the microwave is not that bad i'm just telling you it doesn't make sense to me i don't

i don't have any any uh proof about it but i'm just it doesn't make sense how is it that it boils the water but the inside's still cold so the microwave uses that actually days went to stanford people here we go okay i'm. The microwave, it uses water molecules inside the food, and it makes them vibrate, and that's what heats the food. That's why your plate doesn't catch on fire. There's actually no radiation that's harmful to humans in microwaves. I don't know. If you do it in plastic, it's a little bit different

because plastic isn't quite as... It's more towards the liquidy form. So then that's when those molecules escape the plastic into the food. But you sound like a groomer, Chase. You sound like you're trying to convince me of something that I shouldn't go down that. You're about like, you know, science and truth, right? I am.

I am. I'm just telling you, just, I, I just, I, I don't trust that fucking box that just heats shit up magically. and I don't trust food that comes out of a spray can. Well, it's just changing the physics behind it. And maybe I'm only right 9 out of 10 times. I mean, it's just, you know, we wanted to educate people. I just wanted to educate people on how microwaves work. Thank you.

I appreciate it. And in all fairness, it was kind of mean to say all that in front of JR since 9 out of ten of his neighbors just spray spam right into their fucking mouth spam yes not pam spam no no no i think that's right mystery meat spray that's probably out there hey all we need is that sound bite the background music to that on a little uh track so anytime you go on a ride we could just play that that little way yeah i have a question i have a question for savon i have a question for the video clip we just pulled yes how much inner turmoil was it to decide whether or not to put socks on for that for oh my dude were you barefooted first no no you know what i should probably put socks no but i i'm disgusted at

that i'm just disgusted at the whole filming of that i almost fucking fired my guy except i don't pay him anything he should have been like hey dude those pants are too fucking tight you look like kermit the frog you jackass what are you trying to do get fucking butt humped i looked i looked like a complete ass clown in that stop stop stop look at how tight those pants are it's ridiculous it looks good you look so uncomfortable i am very uncomfortable i'm hating myself there you're doing the old man sit but you probably don't literally you probably don't ever sit like that no he probably does. Caleb, pull it down. It's just to put everybody at ease. We did a,

after the show, back to picking on JR, we did a show the other day with JR and then after the show we all hung out and I used satellite imagery from Google to look at the neighborhood he lives in. And one of his neighbors just had Pam bottles all over their fucking front yard. They used it as decor. Fuck.

The South is crazy. The streets. I mean, people here probably are like, what's Pam? We just use Crisco. Is that not better? J.R. has a pool and there's a line of people there with buckets getting water for their house, drinking water for their houses. I actually think Crisco might be better. I think it might be.

The good old-fashioned lard. The good old-fashioned lard. Yeah, those are the good days. There is an app and a website out there called Lawn Chair Leaderboarding. You should go there now and register. If you can open up another window, uh, it's Tyler Watkins, um,

fantasy fitness league. And he has it set up so that, um, you can, the event that's going to happen at 10 AM at Hiller fits YouTube station today. If you want to participate in, in making a game for you,

you'll be more invested in the, um, in, in the outcome between Scott Tetlow and colton mertens with wad zombies uh fit wars but basically tyler watkins you go on this launch here leaderboarding i'm not sure exactly how the game is set up this time i've played it before it's really fun it's much more fun than i ever imagined it would become addicting actually and uh you get to play with other people you can set up groups but the cool thing is is that

tyler's donating money from people who register to colton and scott tetlow which i thought was really really cool they'll probably make six or seven or nine dollars from that every dollar counts yeah so that's really cool. So lawn chair leaderboarding, that's the – somehow you have to find that on the internet and register now. It's weird. I'm sick every other day a little bit. I woke up this morning mucousy. mucusy um okay so here in uh we are what are we're 25 minutes away from scott tetlow joining us uh we have an event that will take place at 10 a.m it's a one-on-one competition uh which there's several implications around that being that it's just one event and how to choose the winner um do we have uh chase we still have no idea what the workout is, right? We just know workout equipment?

Yes, just the things that supplied from the WAD Zombies little equipment list. And so the equipment, and just because we see the equipment, that doesn't mean that we know what all the movements necessarily could be. There could still be something that requires no move uh no equipment right yeah yeah which would be a good little uh curveball i assume caleb's pulling up the list what are some of the movements that could be in there that so so we have a 45 pound bar four 45 pound plates and two 25 pound plates, gymnastics rings at muscle up height. And then, and then the collars,

um, what could be in there? Uh, freestand, free standing handstand pushups. Maybe I were to do something like a handstand pushup. I would assume they would probably put wall space on there we've seen that in the open to designate things like wall walks and such as that's maybe something that isn't on the wall

but i mean you could do pistols you could do oh i mean not that you'd see burpees are on the table i think right oh burpees over the bar over the bar at jr had a good idea we were talking the other day he doesn't want to steal it he doesn't want to steal it jr he doesn't want to steal it i was giving it to you he said burping ring muscle-ups was uh yeah so you if you just let them put the ring height at whatever height it needs to be at for them to do a muscle-up and they're both around the same height in general it would still be like a level playing field well they didn't say ring dip height so it might not be burpee muscles yeah just kidding that was a short joke no all right cool also wadapalooza you know also wadapalooza use that as one of their online

qualifier movements and it's something that we don't typically see in qualifiers. So if they want to use that. So Wadapalooza did do that, burpee ring muscle-ups? Yep. What was the rep scheme on that? Do you remember? I want to say it was, was it 12 shoulder to overhead, 12 burpee ring muscle-up then is this last year no this is

this year oh this year oh this year yeah sorry the last one yeah uh the games did it in uh that little chipper they had in 2012 brutal combo right because tricep and chest in the in the coming out of the bottom of the burpee, and then you need your triceps again. Same thing. And then they did the 30 burpee ring muscle-ups in 2013 regionals. Right. What about hand-release push-ups? You hope you have a good judge. Yeah.

Okay. Great area there. Yeah, other movements that are on the table using the rings could just be burpee to a ring touch you know they use that in 13.1 most people did burpee to a ring touch with a snatch ladder or they could do toes to ring please no and we could i'll walk off this show if it's a toes to rings um why don't you like that one i think think it's a gimmicky, goofy movement that's unnecessary. You expect more from Brian and Hiller. I would, yeah. Brian should know better.

What about pistols holding a 25-pound plate? Yeah. Fair? Well, a 45-pound plate. They did 53 pounds at the games. They were doing pistols with 53 pounds 5-0-1 yeah wow heavy deadless in uh pistols with a 53 pound kettlebell wow crazy debts yeah i think every uh to your question savannah i think most barbell movements are on the table because

with this weight set i see something that's an ascending ladder of weights from 95 all the way up to 275 and i'm pretty sure every movement is on the table at those weights including thrusters like these dudes are strong and with the way this sets up i see a 95 135 185 225 275 like everything's on the table with these weights. So if it were like that, it would be the bar with the 25 pound plates on first. Yeah. That's funny.

I never even, I didn't even think that way. What about, do you think this is just going to be a couplet or a triplet or something like that? Or do you think that there's going to be, it could be something even like with a buy-in and then you go? I think it'll just be a couplet.

Yeah, I do too. Okay. So in all fairness, all that other talk was just gibberish. You think it's just going to be one kind of bar movement and some muscle-ups? Yeah.

And I was just trying to look back to see how many times Scott and Colton were in the same competition, if they were in the same competition, if they were in the same competition other than, yeah, I mean, I was really, really scrambling trying to find that. Um, I remember ring muscle-ups being in the road qualifier in 2019. It was workout number four, and it was just a seven minute AMRAP of nine deadlifts at 275, which fits perfectly with this, of nine deadlifts at two 75,

which fits perfectly with this, these weights. You have two 75 on the screen right there and three ring muscle ups for seven minutes. So that'd be really easy to watch. It would be really easy to count. And Colton actually won that workout on the online qualifier that year. So you have seven minutes and whoever has the most reps at the end wins. Yep.

Just go back and forth. Three, nine, three, nine, three, nine, three,

nine for seven minutes. What about what Corey's saying here? Burpee over... No, no. Jordan's saying it. Burpee over the cameraman. I could see it being some type of AM rep for sure. I don't think it's going to be for time just

because of what the scoring was on Lawnchair. I mean, if we're just going to take the equipment list of what they have and what the scoring is, they're plus or minus rep. So we're going to talk to us about what you mean by that, what the scoring is on lawn chair leaderboarding. So lawn chair leaderboarding, you have these bets and if you can have,

I think it's like a Colt Merton's my like three or less reps or four or more reps. And then Tetlo three winning by three or reps or four or more reps and then tetlo three winning by three or less or four or more and then somehow like you just have tied as savant is like your only bet the fifth option that they tie do they have that do they have i think so i can't pick that yeah it was like your pick but like that was the only option just said like savant tie oh did it really say that unless i read it wrong on the on my no you didn't that's what it said okay that's what it says yeah so it's got to be an

amrap of sorts in a more truncated time frame just for excitement purposes and so we know it's an amrap because we know it's going to be a number of reps at the end 100 amra yeah and i think it's going to be heavier weights and it's got to be something like ring muscles burpee musclips is a good idea too just because it adds a third component to this but i think it's going to be heavy and tough because yes ryan i remember rush club um because the reps are so close on the betting line which means these reps are not going to be easy to get right right if these were like light thrusters and burpees over the bar like there's going to be a bigger discrepancy than three or four as the betting

line so i think you're going to have challenging movements it's going to get heavy or it'll start heavy and something like a ring muscle up or purple just like these are going to be tough reps to separate themselves with could could we see something where the weight goes down and then we see them just race at the end so you start off it's it's four and four at the heaviest weight and then four and four a little lighter and then four and four a little lighter and then you get down to the 95 pounds and it's you know four squat cleans with 95 four uh ring muscle ups you just gotta you know pay the man up front yes but if it got lighter i think that would have a bigger discrepancy of reps yep like if someone got stuck early and then they're going to be 20 reps ahead by the end i

think it's i think if it's going to change in rep scheme it's going to be an ascending weight with descending reps uh good question from heidi no tiebreaker. Disgusting. Tiebreakers are so – it's 2023. We tiebreak. So if you had – It's not soccer. Let's just say you had an AMRAP of – let's just say squat cleans and ring muscle-ups. So they did like 135 and then 185 and then 225 and then 275. And that's the traditional way. Sure. So they did like 135 and then 185 and then 225 and then 275.

And that's the traditional way. Sure. And let's just say after every round of 10 cleans, there were 10 ring muscle ups, whatever. They're, they're at least close to close enough in fitness level to where there's really not going to be that much separation until probably that last barbell, which is kind of what what you want but it also would be very unlikely for them to tie in that scenario is is 275 um is that a weight that would stop either of those guys in any in any of these movements no we've seen squat clean ladders in 16 16 2 and 19 to go up to three 15 for reps. And we both know Tetlo and Colton are absolutely animals. Strong as oxes.

Really strong squatters. Yeah. Okay. The only two movements that two 75 is going to hang them up with would be like, uh, thrusters, thrusters,

snatches, those thrusters and snatches usually have very similar max maxes and so maybe an overhead squat but like front squat back squat it doesn't say rack so it's probably not going to be a back squat i think anything they do weight wise is coming off the floor um did they know the did they make the workout first or did they get the guys first that's a good question i hope they got the guys first okay so you think that there was some tailoring of this workout you would think that maybe wad zombie wants it to be a close race so let's say it was colton against fukowski they would find something that both of them could be competitive at they would

for the viewers you think that they have the viewers in mind guys for okay wad zombie saying guys first okay so we do also know that this workout was probably tailored for them which is are they i mean i know they look similar but are they similar or are we missing one huge thing does tetlo have a just a massive engine compared to colton no i do think they really are similar i think colton's maybe just a little bit more accomplished as far as how far he's gotten in the game season but no they're they're really comparable they both aren't i would say like their strength weakness both is overhead so that kind of balances out they're both really good deadlifters really good squatters

they're both really explosive they both have similar range of motion in their heights and limb length so i mean no i think it'll be a really good race uh mark moss as scott's unofficial unwanted pr guy he's ready for whatever they throw at him. I'm sure he is. And just speaking to – He's very aggressive. He's very aggressive on the floor. He's got just an aggressive look to him.

He is. He is, and he's equally as aggressive as far as energy level goes off the competition floor. energy level goes off the competition for he competed at crucible last year and the final workout was 21 cal echo bike 15 ring muscle-ups nine thrusters and he won that workout he was the only person to do the remuscle-ups unbroken so if we do get ring muscle-ups again knowing how good colton is at them i think scott is right there with him okay so we're gonna see this is gonna be amazing this is is going to be tense. Okay, so here, this is from launch. Oh.

These are the stats of people who have, what people have picked so far. Just from whoever's playing the lawn chair leaderboarding. Okay, so of the 52 people who've already signed up, 48% think Colton's going to win by four reps or more. 29% think Colton Mertens is going to win by three reps or less. And 17% think that Scott Tetlow wins by three reps or less. And 6% think that Scott Tetlow by four reps or more. Is this a win for both of them?

Are they both going to Waterpalooza? I actually don't know if either one both going to waterpalooza i actually don't know if either one's going to waterpalooza okay all right um is this a is this a win for um for both of them like if you lose this could this like hurt your feelings and and and and bother one of the athletes or is this a win either way they get some competition practice they get some notoriety they get a an intense workout that they might not be able to recreate on their own. Any athlete that's worth their salt would be pissed off if they lose. For sure. I don't think it's a detriment to maybe how people feel about them as athletes or their popularity as athletes.

I actually have more respect that they'll both go head-to-head on a live broadcast like this i think it's great for i think to your i think it's a win for both regardless of who wins and they're both they're both going to get a train stimulus that they cannot recreate no matter what in their gym correct oh for sure go ahead jr no i think that um i at its core, they're doing it for fun, for sure. But they want to win. They want to win doing anything. They want to win if they're doing a workout in their gym with no one around and one other person. So I don't think they're going to use it as any kind of a check-in or anything like that.

It's not like it's a full competition. I think most of the game's athletes were invited to Wadapalooza, so it'd be cool to ask Colton if he's planning on competing there. I know Scott decided not to do Crucible this year because his daughter was just born. We can ask him about that. He decided to do Rogue just because it was a really, really good opportunity, but I'm not sure if he's even planning on competing at all for the rest of the offseason. opportunity but i'm not sure if he's even planning on competing at all for the rest of the offseason and scott did beat um colton at the uh in the road qualifier right they both did the road qualifier and uh scott scott finished ahead i thought i saw that somewhere yeah that's correct unless colton had one of those weighing the plates issues but i'm not oh i think he did i think he did yeah he didn't okay um any guesses you guys want to give on what the workout um do either of you Oh, I think he did. I think he did. Yeah, he did. Okay. Any guesses you guys want to give on what the workout, do either of you guys feel confident?

Like, hey, it's going to be in this sort of realm. It has to be this. Go JR. I think it's five to seven minutes and it's an AMRAP. And I feel good about that road qualifier one, just because we already have some data. I think sometimes it's cool if we already have scores, whether it be from one year ago, two years ago, three years ago, we can see like in that competition, someone got this score. Are they able to beat that score now? How much fitter are they than they used to be? That kind of thing. And what was that workout from Rogue?

that kind of thing. And what was that workout from Rogue? Seven minute AMRAP of nine deadlifts at 275 and three ring muscle ups. And you know, Brian would love that too, because he would love that data point as something to talk about. And he was involved in the making of the workout. Yeah.

The only thing that kind of concerns me about that workout is how fast they're going to be going on the deadlifts in the first five rounds. And if you'll hear grumblings about people not opening up hips all the way and stuff like that. But I think that workout gives in seven minutes will give a lot of ebbs and flows and will give a lot of like whose grip is going to hold out or um you know it's a lot of time under tension for both of those movements so the heart rate will spike pretty early and they know that with something that short they they cannot pace they just have to go chase uh thoughts on the workout uh i won't predict of what it is. I'll just predict of what I want about that. Okay, good, good. Yes. Tell them what they've done wrong

if they don't agree with you. Well, I will, but you know, it's okay. That's what I do. But I would love to see a descending ladder 10 to two of ring muscle ups. And I want to say snatches or maybe overhead squats using this. What's a descending ladder? Uh,

10, so 10, eight, six, four, two ring muscle ups and like snatches or, I don't know if they can all hit two 75 on the snatch and then go up and wait. And if go up and wait.

And if you want to get to the last two, it's just two, two, two, 95, one 35, one 85, two 25,

two 75. That's your five weights. That's available. Just what the equipment list has. And it just looked cool. Cause everybody likes ring muscle ups and snitches are heavy over at squats. So what's cool about that also is as the weight ascends,

it will add tension for the spectator, right? Because we'll always be wondering, we'll always be judging each of their snatches. Did they catch it in a good spot? And if they can barely do the previous weight, then there's even more tension when they go up again. I like snatch. I'll vote snatch.

Because then it's kind of like Amanda's an awesome event, and both of these guys are great at it. I'm sure they can all do that one unbroken, which is just nine, seven, five ring muscle ups and squat snatches at one 35. I just opened the private chat. You nice shirt,

Sousa. Let me, let me see your shirt. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Nice shirt, bro. Thank you.

Hey Chase, how do you feel about athletes in ladders having to own their having to load their own bars do you think they should always have to do it do you think they should always be able to not have to worry about that always no if you're going to go always i don't think they should ever have to worry about it i just want to see them race each other because i don't want to see someone lose because their clip gets stuck or the plate rolls away yeah play velner's plate the competition floor um so in this setting if if it were a weight changing event i would really like it if somebody were to do it for him just so i can see those see them race each other because what do you you put in a weight

change and that's just breaks and it's not even like fitness related what do you do when you're um um commentating the games or you're doing one of the professional jobs and you have to and your stomach starts growling and you have to you think you might have to go to the bathroom so suck it up either because my stomach's talking to me right now and i'm like but tetla's coming on in a minute if i'm not on camera and it's like dire i'll'll just tap Sean or Bill, whoever I'm working with. And I'm like, you know, mouth to words of like, I got a shit. And then I'll leave and just hopefully they can carry it on their own for however long it takes. But are the bathrooms pretty close to the where you're standing?

Usually, sometimes it is. Sometimes it's not. Like a waterpalooza, you're just like kind of shit out of luck, and you just got to sit there and hang on to it. Maybe I just feel like I'm going to shit my pants because Tetlo's coming on and I talk shit about him. Could be. You don't have like a bucket or something?

You need to develop a podcast chair where you can just – the bottom drops out and goes back up. That's in a bedpan. Javi, Javi, come take this away. Spoken like a – That's a nurse talking. Yeah, a true nurse. Or you can just put a FlexiSeal in.

We don't need to talk about what that is. Or he can just put a Flexa seal in. We don't need to talk about what that means. I do think that this is a good opportunity for both of them, but I think it's a great opportunity for Scott Tetlow also because if he puts it to Colton, like you just saw the numbers, right? If you're coming in as the underdog, the fan underdog, and you get a victory, you get some clout.

It's like that movie Highlander. You get to steal some of their clout. Or steal is not the right word but join them but join you get to join them i would argue that based on the movements almost any games athlete to beat colton in an online qualifier format like this and a workout like this would be like uh wow that's a good thing for me because he's he's amazing at online type competitions and and the implications with it being just one event what are those performance and execution you mean a premium on those two yeah and and and you could probably take greater risks too, right? Like, like, you know, recovery is not a thing. Like, you know, they know that by the end they should

be re they should be in one of the darkest places they've ever been. Right. Yeah. And I, I don't know, even with either event that JRI just like, those aren't really gonna hurt them too bad. You get around that five minute marks to say it's a seven minute AMRAP with the deadlifts and muscle ups. Like it's going to hurt, but they're not going to. I don't think you're going to go dark with two of those movements like that. Right. These aren't really like. No, I don't understand what you're saying.

You're saying that those guys could do this for five or seven minutes and not be like holy fuck how am i going to get my next breath in he's saying that if the workout was um thrusters at 135 and burpees to a ring touch for seven minutes that would be really really dark yeah but these workouts that we've described are probably going to force some rest due to some other limitation, grip fatigue. Hey, I got to wait a second because if I miss this snatch, I'm going to lose, that kind of thing. Does age play a factor here? Are these guys around the same age? Do we know how old these guys are?

I want to say Scott's early 30s, but maybe he's not even 30 years old. I want to say Scott's early 30s, but maybe he's not even 30 years old. And I guess since it's just one workout, too, and there's no recovery, this competition accommodates a wider breadth of ages. Like Bill Grundler could come here and get in the mix. Yeah. For just one workout. Just one. Just one, though.

Can it get much closer than this? Two guys. Like if you had to pick two guys and you just want it to be as close as humanly possible, are these the two guys to pick? I mean, can you think of two other athletes? I would say like if it is some of the movements that we've been talking about that we know they can just go on and maybe are some of the best in the world at. I would say if you like took someone like Jason and James Sprague and you had them do like 19.1, which was calorie row and wall ball, that would be something that like you might be able to get as close of a matchup. Something that you know is just in two people's extreme wheelhouses that they're two of the best in the world on they're the same height like all that kind of stuff but this still is this is crazy close right i mean this is great i i don't think yeah i mean i i would

be shocked if the options that are on launcher leaderboard that it doesn't fall into like like i don't think anyone's gonna win by more than five reps. Right. Do you have a winner, JR, who you think is going to win? I don't even want to guess until we see the workout. Same.

I have, I have a winner. I'll pick, I'll tell you guys in a minute, Scott, what's up brother. How are you? I'm turning on cocoa melon real quick for my, yeah there it is there's a dad what's that what's that caleb show me cocoa melon let me see if i approve

of this this is d i approve you won't approve of it after this for 21 days straight yeah it's rough yeah 21 minutes yeah there it is it's crack for kids man i don't know what it is so that is now playing if uh if scott's um video drops out of here we have any problem talking to him it's because his daughter's streaming that simultaneously uh scott what's up brother thanks for coming on hey thanks how you doing guys great scott can you tell us how this happened um how you got yourself in this predicament like you were just like brushing your teeth and you look down at your phone or give us the details of how you ended up in in fit wars uh nick messaged me on uh on instagram and just said hey man would you be what would you be interested in doing like a online virtual

competition and i was like yeah sure like what are the details can you fill me in a little bit more and he kind of explained it to me i was like yeah that sounds like fun who would i be going up against and he was like how would you feel about going up against? And he was like, how would you feel about going up against Colton? I was like, all right, let this decision be made. Who's the best shorts athlete there is? I have a quote here from Wadzombie. It says, I offered Scott Tetlow to compete, and when he found out it was Colton,

he turned white in the face and said, fuck no, never, I'm scared. Is that an accurate? that is not accurate uh you you must have been pretty excited right yeah yeah i think uh i i don't know i competed against colton a couple times and it's never been like just us two head to head together so i think it's i think it's going to be fun. That's what I'm more excited about. I think this is a kind of a cool platform that they're trying to build and to be the first for us to be the first two athletes to be asked to do this. I think that's even more exciting. Where are you in your training? What, what is your, what are your, what,

where are you going next? Is it Wadapalooza or is it just all in the open? No, I promised my wife I'd do one, one competition this year, off-season competition. And, uh, I did Rogue. So now I'm just focused on the CrossFit season. And where are you in your training? Do you, or is this a, um, are you at a hundred percent? Are you beat up? Are you in rest mode?

Are you, are you, are you skinny Scott? Are you fat Scott? Where are you at a hundred percent are you beat up are you in rest mode are you are you are you skinny scott are you fat scott where are you in the uh i'm kind of plus size scott right now i'm still trying to get strong and then uh hopefully my burpees and every gymnastic skills will just help me uh take over in the open and that season does any of this interfere with your training i know some people are concerned competitions interfere with their training. I know this is just one workout. Does this interfere with it at all? No, I trained as normal this week.

So it's just another workout, and it's on a Sunday. I did do one less Metcon yesterday just because I'm like, all right, well, I'm doing a workout Sunday. So I'll just save that piece for then. Will you do, will you do another workout today after this? Will you could just get back to your training right after? No. Cause the wife has other plans for me. Oh, right. Well, what are those birthday party to go to? And then a photo shoot to do. Hey, you as a, as a games athlete, you can't, you can't put your foot down on that stuff? So I put my foot down for the past four years. And that was kind of like an understanding on the way back from Seneca last year.

I had a conversation with my wife. My wife was like, are you going to give it one more year? And everything, I was like, I feel kind of like unaccomplished if I didn't try at least one more year. And with that, there was some compromise with it. And that would be, Hey, you know, spending more, putting the family a little bit more and then, and then whatever, if training gets in the way, then it is what it is. Uh, as far as, yeah. Why, why is there unfinished business from last year? Did you get injured or something? Or you just think that you're still have a better version of yourself to give?

No, I just feel unaccomplished being a one-pump chump. Been there, been there. And then it being an online competition. And I just feel like I haven't gotten that experience when I know I'm capable of earning that spot in Madison. Chase, were you going to say something? No, I commend you for making those concessions as a new dad. I know that's hard to do.

I've had to do some of that on my own. Not on the competition side. That shows for me. But I understand the one-hit wonder feeling. Yeah, it's been rattling me for a couple of years now that I've been like granted games and then syndicate where I'm like, all right, it's just like minor mistakes that have kind of kept me out. So that's what it's like.

All right. Like I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to do it this year. I'm going to give them all. Scott, I didn't interview many, many, many years ago. I think it was with Chuck Carswell and Nicole Carroll, and they were suggesting that the stimulus you get in competition is unparalleled to any other stimulus you could get, that if you're not at the CrossFit Games,

you could never understand what that stimulus is, that you just cannot recreate that in training. One, do you agree with that? And two, is that one of the reasons why you're sort of excited about this also? Do you know that you're going to get a stimulus and a chance to, you know, work Scott out in a way that can't be recreated in the gym? Yeah, I mean, adrenaline is a hell of a drug, especially when you're out there in the competition field against everyone else.

I think Rogue this past year was the closest experience to that, being out there with all those higher-level athletes. And that was an experience on its own, just being part of that. And I'm sure that at Madison, it's even a little bit more heightened knowing that you have 20 more athletes out there that you're competing against. Right, and I wasn't suggesting that people don't get that at Rogue. I'm suggesting you get it at Rogue, you get it at wadapalooza you get it at the games but i'm also suggesting that you're going to get that today and really and really and really

that it might even be more intense today and i know the athletes don't generally probably think like this but at rogue or at the games or wadapalooza you know there's going to be another event this is it you're going to go it's just going to be you, you know there's going to be another event. This is it. You're going to go. It's just going to be you and Colton. They're going to say go. And seven minutes later, we're going to be making fun of one of you and celebrating the other one. Here's what's probably going to happen. Okay, tell me.

One is I'm probably going to go out way too fast and just die. Because that's what I'm known for. Knowing that, it's like, hey, you have the 50% chance of winning or losing. Because you're only going up against one other person. It's not like going up against 10 other people in the heat. It's like, okay, if I finish in the top three of this heat, I'll probably do pretty well in this event or something like that. It's you and one other person. So more than likely, I'm probably going to go out way too hot and just try to hang on to the end but yeah it's gonna be it's this is for bragging rights right now who is your judge and will you have a talk with your judge ahead of

time that's like hey dude you really gotta know rep me if i'm no repping so that fucking i don't have to have andrew hiller make six videos about me yeah so uh my judge is john birchard who's a good buddy of mine he We work out together. He knows me extremely well and how I move. After the Hiller video of 22.3. Oh, did he tear into you for something? No, no. Well, Hiller for the thrusters and everything, how the head never came through.

Oh, right. Yeah, it was. So John was like, yeah. So he's going to be looking, knowing that Andrew's on there judging him being the judge that, you know, he's probably going to hold me to a higher standard. Definitely today, as he should always. But if I want to give this advice to anyone who's doing workouts, if Andrew ever attacks you, you should your response should be fuck you i'm coming to your house to beat your ass that's it just lean right into it just be like just lean into it um any so no special prep for this nope this is just scott tetlow uh regular training just did one less metcon um got coco bella, and he's ready to go. Yep. That's how it is.

Scott, is Sunday typically a full training day for you? Or do you take Mondays off and then Thursdays easy? Or do you just train whenever you can? Yeah, so I have no schedule. I train whenever I can with work and stuff. Sometimes I try to take Sunday one day, one weekend off fully, one day, whether that be a Saturday or Sunday, kind of whatever the wife has planned. And then so on that, I really just train whenever I can. Like if I'm feeling good or I feel like, oh, you know, like the volume really hasn't been that high.

I might go out and hit like a zone two piece on a Sunday or something. But on that, it's just kind of like whenever i can whenever i have time how do you know the difference between if you need to train or if it's just like the rest of us where you just need some fucking a mental release like do you ever like hey i really should take today off but you're like no i need to train for just i need to blow off some steam i need to get my head right i struggle with that every single day that i have an off day yeah i'm sure all these all the athletes do um it just depends on what i have um it just kind of depends on how i'm feeling so if i feel like i just have all kinds of energy then i'll just go out and go out there and do something just to kind of put my mind at ease something that's not going to strain the body for the rest of the week for the start of monday or something do you have a coach uh i do i that the guy judging me

today john he's he's uh he was with me at rogue and he worked out i really enjoyed having him there and he was in my corner and definitely helped me out puts me in the mental in my head space saying like hey because he knows me as the athlete as an athlete and extremely well because i work out with him a lot and i talk to him about my game plans and everything so he kind of knows that i over over analyze stuff and i think i can do a lot oh uh sorry that was uh one of my buddies uh one of my friends dad or one of my son's friends dad called me uh he should be watching the show fuck that guy i'll let him i hate it when my friends call me when i'm live i'm like what are you doing yeah i did that once uh but yeah so he'll kind of

be like dude no you're not gonna go out there and do that you're not capable of going 50 or 60 70 unbroken heavy wall balls. And so he'll put me kind of like put me down to my level and help me out there. So, yeah, but he's been doing that for about six, seven months now, or six months. He's been helping me out a lot. Does he do your programming also? No, he doesn't.

Who does that? So I've actually, I did my own programming for the past six months, just simply because of the time schedule. I was with Nick, but then I was just like my work schedule and everything. It's like having four or five pieces to do a day and realizing that, hey, I might only have 90 minutes a day to train. As missing pieces put me out of mental stress. It's like, oh, I got to get this in, but I can't do it. So I decided to take over my own programming for a little while and knowing that, Hey, I have 90 minutes to train a day.

I'm going to do this for 90 minutes. Cause I believe in quality over quantity. Nick Fowler from brute brute. Is that who you're talking about? No, Nick, your anchor from. Oh, Nick. Okay. Oh, wow. Does that concern you a talking about no uh nick your anchor from oh nick okay oh wow um does that concern you uh chase or jr at all knowing that he's doing his own programming like completely that maybe he's left some holes like in his game i mean that can always be the trap for yourself but the way you know scott's talking about it is that getting programming like you know like jr can speak to this like if you give an athlete programming and they have a hectic schedule like it's kind of stressful on both of you guys because

they're not following the system and the plans that you have in place for their schedule it stresses out the athlete because they're missing workouts or their schedule is dictated by something outside of their control so for scott right now in the offseason new dad i think it's actually a good call because i think any athlete at this level should know what they're good at and what they're bad at and just to have that i would say discipline to do the things you're bad at is is challenging to do except for athletes that are to to do those things and i feel like scott's one of those guys jr is that fair? Yeah, for sure. I mean, knowing too, that Scott not only has been coached, but coaches others,

I think he is even more self-aware. He's like, Hey, if this was someone I was dosing that needed to get better at whatever, this is what I would do. Even though he knows he may not want to spend his time doing it. So I think that if he's given himself one more year to go after it, he's not going to waste any time. If he's only got 90 minutes, he's going to use it for intensity or he's going to use it for things that can help him improve and not to already strengthen a strength. Brian C. writes, Ask Tetlo how he decided to run a marathon on a random day

in South American heat. You ran a marathon just like last minute? Yeah, I attempted to. We were on a – Oh, this is good. Yeah, I attempted to. With some guys, they were training for a marathon. They asked me if I wanted to do it.

And I said, no, that's not really what I'm training for. I had the rogue. That was 2019. I had the rogue invitation. I was going to go for the, uh, the online qualifier and they were like, Oh, come on, Mr. Fitness. I thought you could do it. And I pretty much said, you know what? Fuck you guys. All right. That was easy. Three days later, I went out there and tried to run a marathon in what city? Oh, uh, I was, i was i can't disclose that okay oh okay and and uh and what happened mile 10 you're like i'm you tapped i made it i made it 23 miles wow and then i was

like and then i was like i literally could I cramped up body just gave out and yeah it was miserable I think I started off I had no idea what I was doing I started off with like a 730 pace I'm like man like for the first like five miles like dude I feel you do start mile 10 mile 10 I started doing like this uh this run for five minutes at a slow pace, walk for a minute. Right. And then I did that for like, we had, we went back and forth on this one boardwalk strip. And then every time I got back to the start of where we started at, I would do, all right, run for four minutes, walk for two minutes. And then next round run for three minutes, walk for three minutes. So i tried doing that and it just i shut

down wow 23 miles is there anything you don't want to see like when you look at that equipment list are you like okay that i'm good with everything whatever guys bring it or is there anything you're like ah god i hope it's not this well i don't want to see a 275 snatch that would be a 15 pound pr for me hey there you go wow scott when you're um competing today obviously you won't be able to see colton at the same time and depending on what the event is you know baron and i are assuming it's going to be shorter and more intense we talked about andrew hiller overseeing most of this knowing that he's there watching and knowing that he's not afraid to really

come down on movement. Does that actually help you knowing that it's like, you don't have to usually when P and I phrase it like this, those people shave wrap, not shave wraps, but like blur lines because they think other people are getting away with murder so that they have to do it to stay competitive and stay fast yeah does that help your yourself in this setting knowing that hillar is out there watching this so that everyone is going to be held at the

same standard um i yes i do but for the way i look at this workout is like two uh two sets of 45s and then 25 i feel like it's going to be somewhat of a heavier barbell and shaving reps kind of comes from lighter weights going super, super fast. I don't know what the workout is, but, um, I think that that's going to help slow down and make sure that good quality reps are done. And then also, uh, ring muscle ups. I'm pretty confident in my ring muscle ups for two. I've never been no rep on ring muscle ups, except with the 20 pound vest on. Um, but I think, I think with the light, with the heavier weights, that's going to help

now. Surely with, with the, uh, lighter weights, it would definitely knowing that Andrew's watching, it would definitely, uh, be like, Oh, I gotta make sure my reps are good or else I'll be appearing in his next video. I'm sure. Just lean into it. Just lean into it. Just lean into it. If he does take advantage,

get those followers. Scott, you guys don't see each other. There won't be like a iPad for you to look at or something. There's no, will someone be telling you what he's doing? So I asked, no,

I asked about that. Like, as far as like a clock goes, there's going to be a clock on, uh, Andrew Hiller's video, video thing. And then the, the person, so the person judging me's going to be a clock on uh andrew hiller's video video thing and then the the person so the person judging me is going to be judging me and then there's going to be a

camera guy they're kind of giving me a countdown three two one go so i won't even see a clock or know where it is unless we time it perfectly wow crazy yeah i honestly i've done i've done something like so like all the online qualifiers the open stuff like a lot of times i've done something like, so like all the online qualifiers, the open stuff, like a lot of times I've done it during the class and there has, they've been using the clock. So I use the, the Wadproof app to, to video myself and I'll go off of that. So I've, I've done, I've done that before with open, not knowing where I'm at. And I've had the camera, the person behind the screen, like, Hey, slow down. You're only at like three minutes in i go holy smokes i feel like i'm going for 10 minutes hey another reason why i think i'm probably gonna start out too hot will anyone tell you um you're

you're beating him or you're behind is there any plan like did you want to know where he's at uh no i don't want i definitely don't want to know if i'm ahead because then i'll probably just slow down if anything i'll just tell him, hey, no matter what happens, just tell me I'm behind. Right, right. Or maybe the strategy is like, hey, he's resting. And so maybe, I don't know. That would backfire.

All right. Thank you so much, Scott, for coming on. Yeah, no problem. We're pumped to see this. You're a beast. Thanks for coming on, and this is going to be really cool. Good luck, dude. Thanks. Cheers. Good luck. Yep. really cool. Good luck, dude. Thanks.

Cheers. Good luck. Yep. Thank you. See you, dude. Bye. One second. One second.

One second. One second. I'll be right back. Don't tell us what to do. It's my show. Tell us what to do. One second. JR, when you're – think of like the question I was posing to Scott there is having trust in that the people overseeing the competition are holding everybody to the same standard.

Do you think that helps the judges more to make those calls and not worry is like, well, if I don't give them this, they're going to lose because the other people might be. I say that to my judges all the time. I mean, you run events and I was like, don't judge for the person you're judging, but judge it for the other person. That's who you're more worried about. Right. Yeah, no, I agree with that. And I think knowing that it is head to head, you know that the other judge is feeling the same thing that you are to uphold all the movement standard and make sure that the quality of reps is there. all the movement standard and make sure that the quality of reps is there.

Also, I think on the programmer's end, making it to where there isn't a lot of room for subjectivity in the movement patterns can help. Like for instance, Sevan said, hand release pushups, or really any kind of burpee at a fast pace tends to be a little bit, you get into some issues. Certain dumbbell movements like dumbbell thrusters with these guys at 50 pounds would be, would be awful to try to jump at speed, you know? So,

Hey, shouldn't, shouldn't his answer have been when you said, are you concerned that Andrew Hiller is going to be watching? Shouldn't his answer have been like, no, my reps are always good. Fuck you,

Chase. Well, no, so actually I was hoping he was going to go down the route that i was wanting was usually people do certain things with their movements because they think everyone else is getting away with them because there's no accountability at the top and i think now that we have hillar is the umbrella there of accountability with the movements that actually helps the judges hold their athletes to a higher standard so i think having a more accountable oversight of movement actually helps everyone either judge the athletes that they're judging or the athletes move because they're not worried

about other people getting away with something that they're not doing oh so so maybe not so worried about themselves but worried about those because i think if you asked froning that he wouldn't even know how to answer that he's like he'd be like what like what are you talking about like well that's well you know rich is different it's okay exception is not the rule andrew hiller what's up where are you where are you i'm in my house that is your house what are you never seen tahoe never seen a backdrop other than the uh garage this is yeah i got i live in a log house. Do you build that? Out of trees, yeah. Iron and

bronze. That's real? Those are your walls right there? What the fuck is going on with his internet? Well, look where he's living. I'm shocked he has any internet. Everything's made of wood. He said on a show.

He said on a show recently he built his garage. So did you build the house also? No, that was a joke, but I did do the garage. Andrew, those are just actually pieces of wood that are. Yeah. Those are actually. Why is your internet so bad today? What's going on?

Why can't go to the garage? Go to take your shirt off and go to the garage, please. Take your shirt off and go to the garage. In that order. I have a router in the garage, and I got one in the house, and it might be bouncing back and forth for whatever reason. I told them they had a 10 o'clock stop time. The Lottapalooza team is occupying my office.

Ah, okay, okay. Hey, so that wood, just real quick, that wood back there, those are just fallen trees that have just been finished. And that's how your house is made. I know they're from Alaska, but that's kind of where it stops. It was part of like the house buying process. Is your whole neighborhood full of those? No, it's the only one. That's awesome. It's pretty funny. Have you ever had termites? Not to my knowledge, which could be either a good or a bad thing oh you'd know you'd know you'll know but right away they're the little four wing creatures flying around we have

them all over california the wood is treated and we have to have it treated every three to four years i think to keep those out largest natural disaster by far no second place. The termite. No tornado, no hurricane, no nothing. No termites do more damage, you know, to us earthlings, the people, than any other natural disaster. Crazy. More so than fires, all of that. Really? No, let's keep the, yeah, fuck the fit wars. Do you have an HOA?

God, Jeff, you're such a fucking wars. Do you have an HOA? God, Jeff, you're such a fucking square. Do you have an HOA? I mean, is that what you consider lawn work? That's what we do. No, no HOA. That's like, that's what old people like Jeff does. They live in a neighborhood where everyone pays 50 bucks and then, then they spray weed killer on your driveway.

I'm so glad I don't have one of those. Oh, me too. $50 HOA fees. Where are those at? glad i don't have one of those oh me too $50 hoa fees where are those at do you don't have an hoa do you in south carolina no okay i had hoa in our previous house yeah jr's crazy i've never seen this thing it's good yeah chase made me jealous and brian and then chase went this went, went with the stash. I look just like my dad right now. I didn't grow one out last winter and my wife hates it.

Um, and my girls think it's funny. So I was, I was, I try to tell people at the gym that it's like all white. Like it's almost, I mean, at least sevens is cool where like the outer part is white and then he's got like the dark mustache,

almost like he dies it. Everyone asked me that. Do you die your beard? Yeah. I think that I died this. part is white and then he's got like a dark mustache almost like he dyes it everyone asked me that do you die about your beard yeah i think that i dye this it's like what are you talking about no i do use the ball shaver on it though whatever the ball shave my wife got me a ball shaver i never used it on my balls i just used i was gonna say what order do you go in i never use it on my balls that's terrifying you always go from the bottom to the top when i can grab a handful of when you're working down there when i can grab a handful of pubes like this i just take the scissors and cut it off just one cut and then i just throw them in the trash and i i don't throw them in the sink or

the toilet and that's it that's what i know but like when i grab it like it doesn't your dog get into the trash then just there's tubes everywhere no no i got a little lid on my trash okay that's well the dog doesn't seem to care uh scott tetlow 29 uh colton merton's 24 i just saw one of you guys posted that in the private chat so age is no factor here five years under 30 no scott's got two kids so might as well say he's 32 33 compounded Compounded by two or three years per kid. Hiller, how many times has the workout changed since you guys came up with it and finalized it? Has it changed a dozen times? Four times, I would have to bet. Four times.

And what are some of the reasons why it's changed? Fine tuning. Not much has changed. It's been, I've been going back and forth with Brian on a couple of things. And we're trying to make it exciting. This is interesting because I know what it is. And this is the only time I've known what something is where most do not. So I don't want to F myself.

Oh, I would love it if you fucked up on the show. I would love it. We're doing everything we can to make it exciting. And then at which point I think that when Brian and I do start talking about it, we can tell you what we were trying to do with it as we're chatting. So, so maybe some reps have changed.

Uh, yeah. Wait, yes. Have weights changed? Yes. And yes. And,

and, and who's testing them? I have. And Brian has, and anyone good to say anyone not juiced up and anyone good. And who's testing them? I have, and Brian has, and... Anyone good? Anyone not juiced up and anyone good? Well, Brian's good.

Nobody not juiced up, unless... I mean, well, Brian isn't juiced up, and then I can't say whom else we've had practice them because that might give some stuff away to some people. Okay, gotcha. Were you... I can't say whom else we've had practice them because that might give some stuff away to some. Okay. Gotcha. Were you, so is this,

this is made for knowing Scott and. Correct. Colton were the athletes. Hold on. He just, he just leaked something there. He said, testing them,

them. Explain. I don't get it. What did miss someone someone help me i'm slow help me what i miss then would imply a plural like netcon plus strength 21.3.4 like a two-parter i'm like so much watching people speculate. Like this morning, I watched the barbell spin. I think he had helped in and Tyler on. It was cool to hear them talk. That was way better than I thought. I thought, oh, I mean, I wasn't expecting bad, but it was good.

I was expecting fucking train wreck. It was fucking actually good. What do you mean it's like posting a fire hydrant of an open gas and then just watch everybody lose their minds dude i totally messed that up but now that you say it i'm really like why didn't i think of that you got 48 minutes so well seven you also said you also said have the weights changed and he said yes so i wonder are there multiple weights can you tell us that or is there just one loaded barbell well i should say from the first iteration gotcha i don't know i don't yeah that's probably the best way to put it there there was something that we had set way back when nick wanted to put

everything together and it's developed along the way and the weights have changed since then how are you and brian getting along with the with, with the work? What's it like working with him and choosing the workout and the movements? The final say on the workout was actually Brian's version. Did anyone put their foot down and it just got weird? No, I don't think so. Well, because I don't think that there's many people out there other than like, of course, the people here chasing JRr and i'm sure there's others out there that i'm probably just not thinking of right away that know workouts and

athlete capabilities the way brian does so when he says stuff he has a lot behind the words he says he's not just talking out of his ass and i like to remember that as i'm hearing the things that he has to say uh and then when he speaks back to me he remembers that i've had and have the capability to perform at a certain level and he's like so if you were doing this i don't really know what it's like to be in that position what do you think about that and it was kind of cool doing that with him that's a good combo it was cool yeah um bruce wayne why is nick not on i i don't know did i miss him no link no i didn't i didn't send him a link i just put i just put just put the shows together just like i i told him me i was gonna have him come on has the equipment list changed at all i didn't follow through has the equipment list changed at all

with these some of these weight changes have you added or subtracted anything no no the equipment list changed at all with some of these weight changes? Have you added or subtracted anything? No. No, the equipment list has remained the same. Unless you want to – well, I've already told you the weights have altered, at which point then I guess that would be the equipment list would have been altered because of the requisite weights. Yeah. That's my question. Okay.

I'll tell you why Nick's not on. The more people we have on, the more it takes to juggle, the more people to send the links out. nick's not on i am the more people we have on the more it takes to juggle more people to send the links out it's not even a conscious thought like when i just look down there and i see susan caleb down there waiting in the wings and i know colton's coming on and i know that i had to send a link to hiller and chase and jr it's like it's just like i just get like all right i reached my bandwidth of like sending out i don't know but but when you produce the show is it just each person you add on you just get tripped out but we'll have to have nick on a certain number of

maybe nick doesn't even want to come up maybe do you need anything no i'm good links per day how many links per day can you send i don't know i just i'm just feeling bad that i didn't that i didn't have him on and nick likes to be anonymous also. Yeah. Maybe that's it. Have I said anything that changes you guys' opinions on what the workout could be? Yeah. I actually thought it was that you guys might repeat that rogue online qualifier workout from 2019 that Colton actually won the seven minute AMRAP of deadlifts at 275, which is the amount of plates you've listed and ring muscle upsups, nine and three, and just let them race on that. But now that it seems like it's not a workout that was already previously written, I like that because I like seeing y'all's creativity.

Well, what makes you think that we didn't just want to scale it up and decide that that was a bad idea? You don't have enough weights. Oh, I know. What if we looked at that and said, okay, well, we're just going to make it 315 because we're better now. The weights would have changed, and they would have just changed back to the original, considering that would have been, oh, nope, not yet.

Brian tested it. Hiller tested it. Brian had some people test it. That's too soon. Just do the same thing over again. Yeah, or you just are like, hey, let's do burpee ring muscle-ups instead. That's something we talked about earlier was that it's kind of a it's kind of a hot movement right now having wadapalooza kind of brought it out for their qualifier this year so yeah how do you like that movement are you a fan or not a fan or

for uh for in the gym movement or for a competition movement uh in-person competition i'd say competition i think that for instance if you had someone like brent and colton or scott at the same competition and you had a ring height set at 95 or 96 inches that could be really beneficial for one of them more than the other but it's really no different than a high box or anything like that. You didn't tell me whether or not you liked it. That means he doesn't. Put it like 10 inches out of their both extended reach to even it out.

Right. So if you had multiple heats and you had to go out there and see what measurement the rings needed to be for which athlete was in what lane. I like the idea someone gave, I can't remember who it was. I don't, it may have been chase that if they ever have ring muscle ups or any kind of ring muscle up movement in a competition, there needs to be three set ring heights and you get to pick from one of the three and that's it. And they put you in a lane at 90 inch rings. They put you in a lane

at 94. They put you in a lane at 98. That's it. You know what I think is interesting is through everything I've heard, everyone's like, oh, there's rings, so there must be muscle-ups. There has to be muscle-ups. We talked about toes to ring. Oh, you think something like Elizabeth? So we talked about toes to ring.

Oh, ring dips at a muscle-up height. So there's a penalty for breaking. You have to do a muscle-up height so there's a penalty for breaking you have to do any like creative heads on your shoulders like it's just muscle-ups when there's rings is that how that works well we what we what we talked about we talked about burpees to ring touch and we talked about toes to ring this is something that i've told brian before and i wondered if anyone would do it you've heard for people you've heard of people doing two for one wall balls there's actually a hero workout i think it's cameron that has two for one wall ball so you throw the ball you squat you wait on it to come back down and you squat again so you're squatting twice

per throw of two first two first what if you did two first on muscle ups so you did muscle up plus dip muscle up plus dip or muscle up plus three dips so you did a muscle up ascending ladder so you did a muscle up and then you go up and you do three dips and you did a muscle ascending ladder so you did a muscle up and then you go up and you do three dips and you come back down and then you do plus three every time oh shit you got it right you got it right that is what it is you're like one to ten i can tell by andrew's eyebrows what they should gotta do a muscle up each time to start the set colton you like that you like a ring muscle up to uh ring dip as one rep that's why i was laughing at his name that's awesome you see those a lot in training you what didn't you do a lot of in training you know what you

know what i was just thinking after seeing your name there is that i'm again the barbell spin thing they're like what should be the next one? They were giving out names. I like the Hunter McIntyre fit ranch thing, the Steve Austin Stone Cold Ranch, where he just kept on going until he lost. Let's figure, if you do happen to win, he would just always come up on the show as Pit Wars 1 winner.

I have to call out Trey to go. That would still be Pit Wars 1 winner. Dude, that'd be sick. Like the winner gets to pick their next opponent. Colton, someone asked in the comments why it's been so long since you've been on the show. Do you have an answer for them? Well, yeah.

Savon's busy, I guess. Because he didn't invite me. That dickhead Savon didn't invite me. No, he invites he's like okay we'll get you scheduled and then nothing and then three months later hey you want to come on sure we'll get you scheduled nothing i'm sure it's my fault i'm sure it's not suza's fault it is an error we make many many mistakes on this show and that is one of them um is this gonna be your first workout of the day colton yeah i just got to the gym um had some breakfast i'm here in cedar falls uh we had ali's parents christmas kind of get together last night so yeah we brought all five of our wiener dogs so that's been interesting we got up like five times last night to take them out

Interesting. We got up like five times last night to take them out. Yeah. Holy shit. Wait. So what's the longest unbroken sleep you got last night? I don't know. Not very long. A couple hours? Hour? We had to take them out several times. Doesn't she do that? Doesn't she know that you have a competition tomorrow and she's like, don't worry, I got this. You go sleep in the other room no she sits there and then uh sleeps through it or pretends to sleep through it most of the time and waits for waits for me to come and take them out uh

so wait a second so when you take them out do you have to worry about any animals in the area eating them too do you have to watch them no they're pretty vicious i think they'll hold their own they're bred to hunt badgers yeah Yeah, I was going to say, Dachshunds were bred to hunt badgers. That's why they have a lot of tiny dogs. They're small town dogs. How did you end up with five? You just walked by a Walmart and there was a box of them? No, we're going to start breeding them.

So probably this winter of 2023 is when we'll have our first litter and we'll start selling them. So these are our breeding stock wow and is five is is that did you know how that works like five is what you start with when you're going to start uh breeding dogs well sarah cox would like to buy one for 49.99 there you go you sold your first dog if you i think if you have four more than four females then you have to become registered or certified breeder and um since we're not moved into the like the gym home yet we don't have the final wiener dog setup done yet either we're just gonna wait until we kind of have that all done and then we'll get some more and then we'll become like you have to be like USDA certified licensure

licensure you say USDA I believe that's what it is yeah in case you eat one of them in case you put one of them in a bun um so any change in your workouts yesterday

Tetla was telling us he dropped one Metcon yesterday any change in your workouts yesterday? Tetlo was telling us he dropped one Metcon yesterday. Any change in your workout yesterday? Your regimen? I actually haven't been working out very much this whole week. Tuesday morning, I woke up and was feeling pretty sick. I was really nauseous.

I said, okay, I'm not going to be able to eat breakfast. So I just mixed up some electrolytes, walked outside. I was getting ready to go to the farm, and I was going to puke so i walked out in the yard threw up rinsed my mouth out in the water spigot on the truck went to the farm and i've basically only been doing like rowing intervals since then and then yesterday i did my first like metcon so but um i'm feeling pretty good today. Like really on a Tuesday and Wednesday, I was pretty sick. I didn't, I only ate was a couple of cups of Greek yogurt is the only thing I could keep down. So like Thursday, Friday and yesterday, it was really just like recovering from not eating for those two days. But yeah, we'll see. How's your heart rate?

Is your heart rate spiking quickly? I think it'll be fine. It's just more fatigue from being so low calories the past week. But I've been able to hold things down. I felt pretty good yesterday and felt pretty good this morning. So I think it'll be fine. I think I'm going to be pretty close back to like fully recovered um are you bummed that this happened like this are you up for the challenge are you like fuck it it's whatever i mean shit happens just roll with it and uh learning how

to figure out like if something like this happens at semis or the games and this is a good experience for learning how to deal with it and kind of how my body's going to respond and things like that. So it's all just learning and figuring it out and getting better, you know, just more challenges. The main thing I'm focusing on right now is Guadalupalooza, so we've got four-ish weeks until that. So I'll definitely be fully recovered by then. And, you know, training's been feeling really, really good,

so I think I'll bounce back pretty well and I'll work out really fast today. You competing individually there, Colton? Yep. And team? No, I don't really do that team thing anymore. That's the last time you've done a team. Knocked me out of regional or the games.

I'm kind of surprised someone like you isn't doing both you seem like you're the just like your game for just you're glutton for punishment i thought about it but um like if i was going to do both i'd want it to be with like a competitive team um you know like i've been to water polo before and we did like just the rx team just with some buddies from kilo but if i was going to do this back to back i'd want it to be with a pretty competitive team and didn't really want to be on a team that you feel like you have a chance to win yeah like um well these people who are like training to compete

uh do you have a programmer or a coach yeah so um i do ar Armand McCormick's programming and Luke Schaefer's programming with Kilo Trained. I kind of bounce back and forth. Well, I guess not bounce back and forth, but I kind of do both of their programming. So it's, I mean, I can do all of Armand's. He'll program all my strength work,

and then I have like a couple of Metcons from his program and then go over to Luke's, hit a couple of Metmin's program, all my strength work, and then I had like a couple of Metcons from his program, then go over to Luke's, hit a couple of Metcons from them, and just kind of do it like that, because I don't really want to do my own programming. And yeah, I've been with Armin and Luke since the beginning. Do they have any other athletes at your level? No. Well, they have a team, the Kilo train team from CrossFit Kilo 2

out of Iowa City who was at the games this year. And then there's several other semifinal teams that are on the program as well. But as far as individuals go, it's pretty much just me, I believe. Chase, is that Kilo team any good?

Kilo's had some good teams, especially when Colton was on it. They're a bunch of studs. Okay, okay. We'll check the box that you have good coaches. What are your thoughts about the workout? Anything you just don't want to see when you see that it's this bar and these plates and the rings?

Is there anything that you've thought, oh, God, I hope it's not this? I thought we might be doing strict muscle-ups because I think Andrew likes those, I thought we might be doing like strict muscle-ups because I think Andrew likes those, but I also thought that's pretty impossible to do with like the judging. It's just too complicated, like how strict is strict, you know? So I figured we probably wouldn't do that. But aside from that, I would have been worried if we saw that just because of the judging. And it would be really hard to kind of ride that line. But other than that, no, I think I would have been worried

probably a year or two ago, thinking we might be snatching heavy. But I'm not really worried about that at this time. So, yeah, nothing really gets worrisome, I think. Do you know Tetlo as an athlete? Are you aware of how good he is yeah we competed together uh at granite games in 2021 at mayhem classic in i think 2020 maybe 2019 and um yeah i mean i definitely know who he is um because he's like are both the shortest guys in the field pretty much every competition we go to

so I always kind of look at him as a little bit of a proxy to see like other events that he does and see like if that was good or bad for shorter athletes and also kind of compare myself to him because there's definitely no excuse like oh well he beat me on that rowing workout because he's taller than me right so if I can compare myself to him on those workouts, it's nice. So it's kind of like how DeLugos looks at Fikowski. He's like, hey, I can't use my height as an excuse because this guy's figuring that shit out. Yeah, exactly.

I know if he beats me on our rowing wallow workout it's because he's fitter than me, not just because I had a disadvantage in those movements, because he has the same disadvantage. This Wadapalooza, when you go to Wadapalooza, will you show up there, what's the word, tapered? Or is it just part of the training cycle, just to the games? of the training cycle just to the games? Mostly it's part of the training cycle, but I mean like

I'll definitely be training hard for it and I'm not just going to show up like out of shape or like I won't be in my peak form, but I won't be not in peak form, I guess. You know, it's not like a huge ramp up, but it is somewhat of a ramp up because I want to go

there and perform well and hopefully make some money. Yeah, hopefully make some money, yes. And I can buy more wiener dogs. Is that what you're going to do? If you won Wadapalooza, you'd get another dog right away? That'd be like one of your investments? We're waiting for the house to get built to buy any more because there's just too many to have in the basement right now. Five, yeah, five seems a little, little five seems five seems like uh a lot

how old are they uh the oldest is about five or six months oh shit oh shit the youngest is about four four and a half oh my god it must be chaos yeah yeah they are wild. It must be chaos. Hey, how much will you sell your dogs for? We're thinking we're going to start out at like $1,500 and just see how that goes. As far as Datsuns go, that's a pretty middle-of-the-road price. And we'll kind of see. A lot of it's based on the coloring and your reputation as a breeder. So like if they have a color pattern similar to our males, then usually you can sell them

for a lot more. Um, but yeah, we're just going to see, we'll see how it goes. Hey, what's, is it, don't let your girlfriend screw up the name of the company. It's gotta be like Merton's doc, dachshunds or something. Don't let her like hyphenate that shit or nothing. Right. It's gotta be Colton's dachshunds or something don't let her like hyphenate that shit or nothing right it's got to be colton's dachshunds yeah what's the name of the company um well like the instagram or the facebook page is just merton's dachshunds good i approve and then uh that

instagram page is merton's teeny weenies wow wow aggressive i like it i like it does merton's mutts have a negative connotation because Mutz are usually not purebred? Yeah, I think it would be. I like it though. Merton's Mutz. Colton, besides this fact that you have COVID and RSV and the flu simultaneously. How's everything else? Are we looking at the fittest Colton Mertens we've ever seen outside of the current, just that you hit a wall this week?

Yeah, training has really been going well. The volume and intensity have been really, really good. And my body's been responding really well. I'd say the past four to five weeks have been a really really good stretch of training my body's been feeling really really good and yeah I was excited for this when it popped up and also just really excited for waterpalooza to show what I've been working on and you know running has been feeling really good rowan's getting faster all those things strength my snatch just hit a PR not too long ago. So, I mean, that's this big stress off my shoulders,

knowing that my snatch is, you know, it's not great, but I'm not going to get smashed anymore on that lift. So it's been a long time coming. And, yeah, honestly, I've never felt better. I think it's by the sides, like being sick this week. But I think I'm pretty much over that. I think I'll do pretty well today. Jeffrey Birchfield is saying 1,500.

All purebreds are like crazy expensive now, right? Yeah, you're not going to find like a bunch of Datsuns out there for a lot less than that. I mean, you can, but it's going to be from a puppy mill, you know? And this isn't the puppy mill. This is Merton's Datsuns, Merton's teeny weenies. It's like once you get a puppy mill, you know? And this isn't the puppy mill. This is Merton's dachshunds. Merton's teeny weenies is like, once you get a dog, you can call it that. Are you, um, are you're going to go to the games again this year? What do you think about this, uh,

this path to the games and what you know about, um, the, the course you have to follow the open, the quarterfinals, the semifinals going, what do you think about that? mean i like it i kind of like the condensed uh semis for north america and um i like that it's based off where you live um especially for just like if you have people from your gym that want to come support you or if you have an affiliate that has a couple of athletes or like in our case we have me and then the kilo team um and we were at different semis last year so it's just a lot better if we can be in one spot for the gyms to come and support us and hang out and um also i mean even just like doing the whole logistics of it the travel and everything you know like i can stay at the

same hotel or whatever as the team and like ally and i don't have to buy like a hotel for his her semi then another one for my semi so i'll save us there too but um yeah then as far as like the competitive aspects of a go i like the how they're allocating spots based on your performance throughout the season or the ranking system i think they're still being a little bit too generous in some places with like a guaranteed two spots whatever i think you can guarantee like one spot and then if you have a good performance somebody else if you do a good performance in the open and quarters and give them their second spot but make them earn it you know if you have a good performance somebody else if you do a good performance in the opening cores and give them their second spot but make them earn it you know and um it might have been andrew

who had an idea he was talking about um like back in the day out glassman was like we're spending all this money for uh a regional in like south america we're sending one athlete to the game she's like it's hard for me to justify it. And then Andrew's like, yeah, that's a problem. But what if you just had the ranking system and you took like the top couple of athletes from there and then paid to fly them in to like a North American semifinal

and then make them earn it there? I think that would actually be a good idea. It'd save money for CrossFit. I don't know how much the South american athletes would like it but i think you know well i think it would help their notoriety maybe not in their own home country that's interesting that's interesting million versus 100 000 in plane tickets right right that was the idea yeah right thanks i'm speaking to andrew hiller um and in judging who is your who's your judge so there'll be a cameraman there and there'll be you there and

there'll be a judge there those are the three people um uh who is your judge and have you had to talk with them about like hey let me get away with shit give me a little home cooking when it all costs or is it like... No, I don't know who my judge is going to be yet. We'll see who shows up to watch, and I'll pick someone out of the crowd. No shit. It's like that, huh? Yeah, I mean, it'll probably be Travis. He'll be here, and he usually judges.

He does a lot of my opening quarterfinal workouts, so it'll probably be him. But I haven't had a chat with him about it yet. Allie will be my camera woman yeah she will be your case she's gonna shoot it on an iphone and um how will you know where uh tetlo is if you're if you're racing against them we've made the assumption that it's an amrap and at the end it'll it'll be you know colton's 79 reps you know tetton's 79 reps, Tetlow's 79 reps tie. Who's going to tell you where he's at?

Do you have a plan for that? Ideally, you would have some people watching the live stream and then being able to say, hey, you're three reps ahead, you're four reps ahead, or whatever, as you go. But I don't know how. I don't know if that will work out logistically we'll see but ideally that's what i'd like to do and then just have them kind of yell at me and tell me what's going on but otherwise it's just head down and hammer away there is some room for error doing it that way because let's say they tell you you're four reps ahead but somehow they're youtube

buffered and they're actually behind you i know how far behind the stream will be i don't know if that's like inside information what what do you mean like it'll be one or two seconds behind what people are actually seeing at home or when we were testing it i was like clapping on one side and i was saying how long it would take for it to come up on the stream so there is a lag yeah yeah it's um if they come up on the stream. So there is a lag. Yeah. Yeah. It's if they're watching just the stream and not watching me live,

then they should be able to at least tell me where I was at 10 seconds. Oh, right. Andrew, how do, how do, how do you, how are you going to start them both at the same time?

How does that work? I'm going to have a clock on me and it's, it's going to go off of that. so they will be in designated to stop and then it's just gonna go completely off of the stream the way it's gonna look on the camera on the stream i wasn't able to follow that at all let me let me let's say i'm sitting here and there's a clock right here it's just gonna be going off of that i'm gonna be sitting here i'm not brian's gonna have his own little screen and then we're going to tell the camera person that they're going to be letting them know when there's 10 seconds left when there's three two one time and then based off of exactly what happens on the screen on the stream with the timer there that's when they'll

be stopping um will you how will it start they'll hear you they'll both hear you say three two one go god i hope you have a better internet connection i do i do i do the air uh um how will they know when to start uh same same way 10 second countdown the camera person will be saying so they'll actually start a second late if there's a buffer but it'll be the same second did you hear that yeah okay hey i'm gonna fix my internet okay okay we're back great very kind of you oh we're not going to get to walk through the log cabin um colton um uh you think this not going to get to walk through the log cabin. Colton, you think this is going to get dark?

You think you're going to, it's going to get, this is this one's really going to hurt more than what you're used to. You think this is going to be reminiscent of a real competition? Like you're back at, you know, Rogue, Guadalupalooza, CrossFit Games. Yeah, for sure. It's going to be competition intensity, 100%, but my training intensity has been really high lately, too. And I've been there a lot in training. I've been through the fire many times, and this is just another time through. Be through it many more times.

Yeah. How's your dad doing? Does your dad know you're doing this today? Yeah. He's back home taking care of the pigs. And the dachshunds? No, they're here with us. My mom says, hi, Colton. Good to see you. Hi, Rosemary. There we go.

All right. Free plug for the family. So does he know what you're doing? Did he say good luck to you? Did he give you a hug or maybe a kiss or something like a kiss on the cheek or something? No, he called me this morning said good luck and asked me how i was feeling a lot of stuff so he's known i guess this week that i've had to do this and i've been sick and whatnot and at the farm but so he's been kind of not making me work as

much but i've still been you know like i was washing a pig barn most of this week it really sucks because you get you know wet and cold and full of poop and it's cold out no i don't know but i don't know no i don't know you take like a pressure washer but it's kind of like an industrial size one and you go through the barn you have to spray all the poop off everything and out the walls the floors and everything clean out all the feeders and then you go back through with some disinfectant and spray everything down with that and then it's all ready for a new group of pigs and then and then do you um do you wear a mask when you do that nope i don't wear anything special i do that you just get covered and because i i've bought and like they have um you know like kind of like a wet suit or whatever like a raincoat and rain pants you can wear.

And it comes with like – it's like kind of overalls and whatnot, but they don't have my size. So I just wear a sweatshirt. Yeah, that's awesome. It's more annoying tripping over my pants than it is getting wet. Hey, can't you just take a pair of scissors and just cut the bottom off? Well, then they'll rip up. Like, they just kind of get torn apart because then the hem is ruined. Yeah.

Hey, JR, he's got to get a mask, right? He can't be breathing that shit in, right? Just, like, poop flying around and chemicals and shit. Does he need a mask? I trust he's good. Yeah, I trust he's already used to stuff like that i don't think he needs to worry about uh ryan oaks is also a doctor who watches the show he says colton you better mask up and get quadruple vax in order to clean the pig poop i think that big poop is uh

worse than anything covet or whatever he's gonna do to me I've been naturally vaccinated. Yes, you have been. Any other probing questions for Mr. Merton's gentleman? Have we asked him what he thinks the workout's going to be or if he even tries to play that game? Yes, great question. No, I haven't even been reading you and wild zombies messages to

me on that what time again i was saying a thumbs up last night and i don't know what all the stuff was i'm just telling me but i'll figure it out before we get going here all right brother thank you you we are an hour and you're already there right at the gym so we're an hour and 18 minutes away um may you compete healthy we're all excited to see you get at it and uh thanks for coming on the show dude yeah thanks for having me on it was fun thanks for inviting me to do this too yeah oh i didn't oh look at and congratulate and congratulations when will the dog when will the dog, when will the business open? When will the dogs be for sale? You think by, uh, end of 2023,

you have a letter. Yeah. Sometime around then late fall, early winter, probably. All right. If you're interested in owning a Merton's teeny weenie, um, prepare to have the dog at your house in, uh, did you see Corey's name that he threw out there? Oh, no. Where is it? Doc Mertens, but it's spelled D-A-C-H. Wow.

You get sued, but it's good. It's spelled different. It just sounds the same. All right, Colton. Thanks, brother. We'll talk to you soon, and I'll make sure I have Sousa contact you to get you on in the next three or four years. All right. Sounds good. Thanks, brother. We'll talk to you soon, and I'll make sure I have Sousa contact you to get you on in the next three or four years. All right. Sounds good. Thanks, buddy.

Okay, bye. Bye. Colton Mertens. For anyone who wants to participate in this and add value for yourself and get some money going to the athletes, go to Lawn Chair Leaderboard. I wish I knew what the exact uh url was it's a tyler watkins uh fantasy uh fitness league and you go on there and you can register with a bunch of friends and tyler's giving a bunch of the money to the um athletes but more importantly it's just fun okay so it's lawn chair leaderboarding spelled perfectly dot com the chat dot com yeah

and it uh it looks like hillar's to try to put it in the chat. Yeah, more Colton Merton cards. Yeah, another Colton Merton's card would be cool. I think I'm behind on cards, Wadzombie. That's why I didn't invite Nick on, because he stopped sending me cards. That's why. Okay, now you know the real truth. Uh-oh, David Weed's giving an update on the soccer game.

2-2. I'm sure that's what Brian's giving an update on the soccer game 2-2. I'm sure that's what Brian's watching. Is it the World Cup today right now? It's the final, right? I don't know how people watch that crap. Me too. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Wait, wait, wait. Caleb has something for you. I agree. I agree. I agree. I agree. something for you i agree the same thing about some of the stuff that i enjoy i agree you know i just like it but people get irate when you bring up the fact that you dislike soccer it's like

you're uncultured i'm like all right all sport all sports so just to put you jackasses to sleep baseball well there that's mine everyone's like how do you watch that and i go i really um i don't know i don't baseball i just like stats i like stats my goodness jerry you watch that? And I go, I really, I don't know. I don't baseball. I just like stats. I like stats. My goodness. Jerry, you watch baseball? No,

not anymore. I used to play baseball. And when I stopped playing, I stopped watching it. Soccer have statistics. Yeah. How much pressure? Barely.

What do you mean? I'm sure they have tons. Like other than goals and assists and saves yeah like baseball has got so many stats and that's why i love baseball i don't even need to watch the game i'm done with that i'm like how do they do what are their stats over the course of the year that's why i like crossfit stats i'm sure soccer's full of that hey there's no official stat keeper for um crossfit right it's just people like halpin and well chad schroeder ryan and chad are basically yeah i think chad is like the master man right chad is a three-eyed raven of the crossfit games yes a game of thrones uh reference is that yeah i just love the subscribers i just like soccer i

knew it another another completely ridiculous hockey's the best sport perfect rules stupid right jorge i think it's the hardest sport to broadcast soccer no hockey soccer is easy hockey is just like soccer but with attacking each other but it's a hundred times faster and the fact that you know every person that comes on and every line change or that puck flying everywhere it's incredible people i would every every once a year in the um comments i would see when i would do the behind the scenes someone would say he's not even a real sports journalist i'd be like you're fucking right i'm not how does he not know blah blah blah because i'm fucking not a sports journalist that allows you to ask good questions though thank you thank you

they can be talking to your retarded cut being interviewed by your retarded cousin when i interview people uh any any after speaking to scott and colton i'm changing my pick i'm all tetlo mertens is fucking mertens is fucking sick he's dehydrated sick he didn't sleep last night he's fucking bathing in in in in uh pig poop yeah but like tetlo's a new dad like it's the same thing oh right good point great point in the trenches man great point um tetlo looks like he's getting about 10 times the vitamin d that colton gets. Was he Tanner? I missed all of Tetla. What did I miss? Tetla looks like he lives in the fucking Caribbean. Oh.

Colton looks like he just fucking got out of his coffin. I think he lives in the Midwest, too. Put his teeth away. I think Scott lives, like, in Ohio. Yeah, that San Antonio shirt threw me off, though. Ancestral tenants, man he's got to get the sun colton is the definition of grit wake up freeze your dick off washing pig barns then goes and shells sells a soul in a cold dark garage how can you not root for this motherfucker yeah i i i'm

rooting for him i'm telling you i'm rooting for him but i think tetlo is i tell her just has one kid colonist five wiener dogs. A girlfriend is slapping him around, fucking – I mean you don't want to be with a high-pressure washer and poop on walls. It sounds – I mean Caleb doesn't have to do that stuff. Caleb doesn't have to do that stuff in his equity experiment. It would be if like it was your first time doing it, but doesn't know any different like it's not a disadvantage okay so you're saying it's

just made him stronger today's who he is yeah yeah uh any any picks chase who's who's gonna who's gonna win this wait wait before you go let's just let's let before you go let's ask hillar because he knows the workout and then and we we get to go last who who's gonna win here uh mr hiller andrew's like only my girlfriend slaps me around dude his girlfriend wears the pants yeah one shortcoming that hiller has she's giving me a concussion i tried to sneak up her and like scare her once and she just turned on throat punch me and i had a concussion uh before this is a great great question andrew did you test the wad yes i did or do they good do you go to a dark place uh it was interesting i actually have an entire video i'm gonna release after the workout of me testing the workout okay tell us how bad is it

are you do you have to when you're done or do you take a knee brian tested it and he said that he felt like he wanted to vomit okay i didn't have that but it was tough okay does that make you guys jr is there a thruster in this thing no no damn it is that what you think you think i would say based i would say based on those loads it's either clean anyhow squat clean yeah i would say power cleans maybe andrew are you ever having um uh anyone listening not not too many people do you ever do you ever have sex with alexis and like whisper movie quotes to her or like just yell one out like she's like like like she moans and you're like

is that what you think you think i i was pausing or like you you come, you premature ejaculate, and you're like, you idiot. It doesn't matter. Seriously, you say movie quotes to her when you're making love to your wife, don't you? I, oh. You have. No one's watching. I may have. I don't think in a specific instance I remember, which is an issue because it means I probably have.

That is amazing. That is amazing. I'm a one-trick pony, dude. Yeah, movie quotes stored up there. I watched this interview between Kate Gordon and Tom Porter. Has anyone seen that? Someone sent it to me and they're like you got to watch that uh and it's just it's just an hour of them talking about having sex

wow i'm gonna i'm gonna review it my next live call-in show there's some there's some crazy shit they say in there uh if you're um yeah hillary if you have a do you have like a friend who's just as apt in movie quotes where you can have a conversation just using movie quotes? No. I got buddies of each different genre that can play with all of them, but not as apt where we can say a whole lot. Were you used to the scene?

But the movie quote doesn't really convey the message as to what's happening in the scene. It's like how British people talk. Oh, no. No, no, no. I wish. That'd be great. You start texting me more then.

I will. You do movies too, Chase, like that? Yeah, yeah. We used to do that with Step Brothers. I used to have all 50 different quotes memorized from Step Brothers. I talk to him on the phone anywhere from one to five times a day. to have all like 50 different quotes memorized from stepbrothers like you say i can't talk with i talk to him on the phone anywhere from one to five times a day and in every conversation he says you know that one movie i'm like no

yeah you're probably like the bottom of the totem i'm the i suck yes anything I'm a trivia you are good at it too chase yeah wow it's a problem that and gifts oh no sounds like you need a YouTube channel he has one don't be mean he has one

I mean I have two technically movie channel second one give it the programming and well, you can't see it. It's on only fans. Uh, no, that was, uh, it's called see my cheerio. Um, what, um, so, so you go, you went to a dark place. Brian almost threw up. Uh, we know what the equipment is.

We know it's an Amrap. Um, any, any other questions you guys want to ask him before we uh before we ask him to pick the winner any other things we want to know did brian test out the lightweights of the ascending ladder that it's going to be and you did the heavy ones that's an extremely similar variation of the workout okay oh so it's not 275 snatch is that what you think you think because brian's not i don't think brian does too as i said brian did the first half the ladder oh here's a good question here's a great question would i be able to do the workout yes wow oh now we're getting somewhere well that doesn't really get an entire answer now the 45

pound plates are only to stand on they're to jump to if you start the workout technically you're doing the workout the rings are actually set to 120 inches and you've got to stack the hey what if the weights were to do a jump up to what if they weren't to use? Would be wicked, wouldn't it? Yeah. Yeah. So then I don't see them saying may use the plates for assistance. And you've read the descriptions up.

JR knows what to do. Words are important. Yeah, they are. I just said that somewhere. So the greatest event of the greatest sport on the planet, loved by billions of peasants worldwide, is minutes away from being decided on penalty kicks. Is that right?

No. Two 15-minute halves of overtime and then penalty kicks. Shut your mouth. Oh, shit. Caleb's sick, too. God, everyone's sick. It's like my favorite part of soccer is penalty kicks. If they said

that if Brian said he felt pukey, I think that there's burpees in there somewhere. Can you tell me why you're caressing your heater? I always... The always because the heater's so the knobs on the heater are fucking broken so i can't turn it up high but i keep thinking there's a dog down there looking at your heater this room is freezing oh sorry trish i'm so bummed i'm so sorry yeah everyone's coughing up a lung

that sucks that sucks okay so uh hillar who's gonna win coughing up a lung. That sucks. That sucks. Okay. So, Hiller, who's going to win? I wanted it to be tight to the point where I don't want to sway anybody. That's part of the launch your leaderboarding shtick, yeah? Yeah, it's like, alright, we're going to change our

bets based off Hiller's pick. Let me ask you this. Did it affect your opinion knowing that Colton was sick? I spoke with Tyler, who created the lawn chair leaderboarding page, and that's all I'm going to say. Yeah, I saw his pick. I saw his pick on the show, on Barbell Spin Show. He picked Tetlo. Okay. yeah i saw his pick i saw his pick on the show on on barbell spin show he picked uh tetlo okay

i don't i don't think i even have a pick all right jr do you have a pick yes scott uh chase oh dang it i'll go mertens just for drama yeah so we all agree we all agree scott's gonna win we all agree we all when you came into the show did you think mertens was gonna win i had him picked as plus four i think it was my bet uh did you do coming into the show did you think mertens was gonna win um yeah no i always kind of was gonna go gonna go for scott just because he's competed at my events and because he came and dropped into the gym a few times to train oh so you're not you're just going on pure yeah yeah loyalty pure loyalty what are you a dad okay uh the event will start in an hour and four minutes of hillary can you walk us through what's going to happen so

people when people log on to hillar fit um you know they'll all come on two minutes early at 9 58 then at 10 a.m., who will be on there? It will be you and Brian, and you'll give us kind of a run-through of the event. Myself, Brian, the athletes, we're going to introduce, do a little chatter. We plan on within five minutes announcing the workout, having a 10-minute down period where we can allow them to set up and possibly adjust due to what they've found out from us and then we'll get going at that ideally what would be 12 15 my time okay so uh show will go live at 10 in the first five minutes the announcement will be made of what the workout is then the athletes will get a 10 minute warm-up oh will you and brian be on during that 10 minutes yes any special

chattering about well i guess we could be continuing the conversation that we've had where you guys have done the pre-show and then it'll be announced. And I think I said something when I was in the house about how once it's been announced,

we can say where it came from through our back and forth and what our ideals would be. Oh, like how you made it. Yeah. Good. I hope you weren't't gonna like borrow from another event the uncreative i want colton to win why why we reformatted it uh but tetla's gonna be okay

with that i want colton to win sorry i'm having a little i'm having a who would you want to see in a second one of these inner conflict if it goes well we could have a second one who would you want to see anyone you guys i any any i would like to see anything that's like that's uh close like this i fucking love this froning versus fraser that'd be good that'd be good that'd be good i don't think fraser's in any shape right now to i think froning would finish the workout and then throw free matt out the fucking window right now. I think someone like Luke and Angelo were pretty good friends and they were teammates. But now Luke's going individual this year for sure. So I think that would be cool.

Are you fucking kidding me? Grunler could do a rope climb workout with me on his back and finish before me. That would be winner versus josh bridges oh that's cool oh are you fucking kidding me he's so rickety he's fucking broken what do you guys everyone watches the show stuck in the 80s josh only has one leg now and the workout will just be murph and we'll let everybody know. Yes. You know who I'd rather – I'd like to see like Emma Carey against Olivia Kerstetter. That'd be good. Yeah. That's what I'd like to see.

No? No, actually, if it's balanced enough, yes. Right, right. Just two young upcoming just guns. That would be a fun event to program is like Scott and Colton are the the same athletes so it's a little bit easier to program something tailored for them but to program something that offsets two different skilled athletes but still make it balanced would be very interesting to see i'd like to see dallin pepper against sam sam samuel quant how about that well that's a question too like do you do you want athletes with similar wheelhouses and do

you want to program them for their strengths so they can really just showcase how good they are at that movement against someone else that's as good at those movements or do you want it to be like you know a protagonist antagonist feel where you have people with very similar very dissimilar strengths and weaknesses and try to give them each movements that will balance that out. I think that's tougher. Hey, what if you, Oh, I like the winter versus Noah. What if you just had the winter of this and they just kept getting taller and taller athletes until finally at the end, it's like the Lugo for Fikowski.

I like the winter stays on i like the winter stays on format that's cool that is not a bad idea danny nichols versus seven oh man yeah that i would like to see this too uh uh morad versus hopper i'd go against sporty beth and something as long as it's not heavy as long as it's not heavy we could throw some burpees and god they'd be good i go up against hip and steel oh yeah that would be awesome which one that would be awesome which hip and steel yeah oh yeah go up against his daughter and she could avenge him that would fucking be dope i would i would go 2v1 they can tag people workout and i would take them down like that dan bailey workout from way back when three on one three girls back to back oh yeah yeah that i would i would do anything with gazan too oh yeah danielle and gazan i would do gazan and uh and kerstetter or gazan and emma carry too i'd like to see oh yeah yeah or how about this hip and steel versus sporty beth that's good too

thank you good i'd i'd yeah uh hillar versus hunter would be good oh asia barto versus seven on great grab me by my legs and use me as like a mace either he'd use savannah like luke and yoda on dagobah fuck he used me Fuck. He'd use me as a pick to hold his hair up. Okay, guys. Thank you very much for coming on. Chase, thanks for coming on. Join us. JR Howell, thank you.

Andrew Hiller, thank you. Brian, may your TV set fall on you and squash you as you fucking watch that stupid-ass game. Jeffrey Birchfield versus Sevan. Now they tossed me out of the room again. Yes, I'd go against the Liver King. We will see you guys in 58 minutes. Wad Zombie is putting on an event called Fit Wars. It starts in 58 minutes.

Go to the Hiller Fit YouTube station. Before you go there, go to the leaderboard, lawnchairleaderboard.com and register, and that helps the athletes out, gets them a little cash in their pocket. Any other way we can get cash in the pockets of the athletes? Will people be donating live anywhere? Is it a GoFundMe page?

Is there like everyone who's watching just throws in two bucks and says thank you? Have we disclosed the amount of money that is being given to the athletes? No. It's not small. It's not? No. $100 gift certificate on Amazon? More, more, more. it's not no and hundred dollar gift certificate on amazon or more more um i don't know if this

is like common knowledge or not but i know it started off at 300 for the winner and 100 for the loser and it's gone up since really and it's because i think gabe from paper street coffee has jumped on as a sponsor along with vindicate very important to say very important to say yes thank you to vindicate and paper street coffee for uh getting behind this event uh thank you wad zombie for obviously doing it go over to wad zombie and get all your cards and stuff uh vindicate oh we'll be alive i didn't know this we have a code at vindicate that gets you 15 off i i didn't even know that existed sorry i didn't either so that's good to know i don't know if i have it i know you do now and uh and then and then by the way same with paper street coffee i don't know if he still

is giving 15 off but i think he is make sure you go to the right website punch in my name seven and you'll get 15 off i just bought some i didn't even use the code damn it sorry you were probably at the wrong website too no i got it from the right guy uh thank you chase oh you guys tell me that that's pretty decent i mean i i can get from what i've heard and i can confirm i think it's 500 300 winner loser hey listen that's fucking amazing they just fucking go to their own box and do a workout so like don't quote me on that, but that's what I recall, having heard the numbers are, and that's pretty good, right?

Yeah. Damien Castro, who runs the show, Susan Caleb, yes. Everyone has different roles, but they're not defined because— 500-200, WAD zombie confirmed. All right. they're not defined because 500 200 wad zombie confirmed all right uh so lose paper street coffee vindicate um spend your money there to thank them they put i think they've helped put up the money i'm sure wad zombies probably put up some of his own money oh there we go 500 200 did you just say that you could chain train your entire life to go to the crossfit games and finish in the bottom 10, and you won't make shit. Right?

Okay. Finish 38th at the CrossFit Games. You lose the Fit Wars, you still make 200. Wow. And you didn't have to go anywhere. You didn't have to go anywhere or train all year. You just had to say yes to a DM from Wad Zombie. Johnny says Rich wouldn't do it for 500.

That's misinformation. Misinformation. Seven wouldn't do your mom for 500 damn that's not true either that's misinformation i thought you'd get a hall pass and get a hall pass give her my number i agree probably wouldn't for 500 though um okay i will um see you guys soon uh thanks again hillary good luck jr whatever