The Sevan Podcast - CF Games Update Show - 2024 New Rule Book

Episode Date: December 23, 2023

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Hey, Spin, I don't think your mic's working, brother. The pro mic. The pro mic. The pro mic. How about now? There we go. Oh, that's the Spin I know. We got to get a SUAS logo for my mic, dude. BJY in the house.

What's up, John? BJY. You're muted, bro. I'm pretty sure I'm WJY, John? B-J-Y. You're muted, bro. I'm pretty sure I'm W-J-Y, right? W-J-Y. Sorry, I get my... I think you're M-J-Y right now. My letter's all confused.

Welcome, everyone, to a bizarre turn of events, which has led to a break in CrossFit Games update shows and then just all of a sudden a reappearance on this Thursday. I don't know what the rush is, why this couldn't wait till tomorrow, but that's all my fault. I just drove like 90 miles an hour

down the street to get here. Thank God. You're going to say that? Thank God. Well, I watched to save that? Thank God. Well, I watched the Be Friendly podcast while sitting on the assault bike just now to plagiarize their shit. Holy shit, I don't even recognize you right now, Taylor. Are you okay? You look like you have Down syndrome.

Come closer to the camera for a second. What's your face? Your face is all smushed like this. Dude, what? Your face is all smushed like this or something. What do you mean? I have a hat on. Your lips are too close to your forehead or something.

What's going on? I guess I caught it, dude. You caught it. Fuck you, anyways. I watched the show on the rule book, and unlike these other two ding-dongs, Spin was nice enough to send some notes and do actually a little bit of uh work let me blow this up a little bit more how's that um this is the

2023 and i'm stealing most of this stuff like i said from the be friendly product podcast they had a patrick clark on. I'm scrolling up to the top. And Brent Fikowski. Actually, it was nice to hear kind of Brent's interpretation of it. They opened up the floor for Brent a lot, and it was cool hearing like his little tidbits. But there was nothing in here that was like, holy shit, what are they doing? No.

No. No. It was some changes, but I don't think there's anything that's groundbreaking. Is there anything about location, declaring location prior to competing? So are these fuckheads in violation? Oh, yes. Yes. Well, it's the same as last year. Let me go through some of this based on what I saw on the Be Friendly podcast.

And I'll go through some of this. And then I'll go through the notes that Spin sent me. And then we'll see. We'll see what happens. So I'm just going to pull this down. We don't even need to see this. But there is a link somewhere. This is the PDF I downloaded.

But I'll go over some of the stuff. But there was nothing crazy. It's all stuff that we've talked about already i think the biggest thing and we'll get to it in a second is the fact that they are going to have a huge amount of submissions potentially and how are they going to review those submissions that come from quarterfinals uh in order to get the right people in the semifinals that's going to be um i think that's that's that's still like on the table okay uh this was first released to the public, I believe, today. As they said on the Be Friendly podcast, most of this is plagiarized from them.

This is version 6, so we didn't see versions 1 through 5. The Fergie Show, $1.99 towards John Young's sun lamp. Thank you. thank you uh the um uh there was a note in a 1.04 where the registration fees may vary depending on where you live and they're suggesting that that might be different is that because in general it's always been uh you know basically 20 for the open 50 for quarterfinals 300 for semis unless you're a team at 600 is that what we're talking about i believe africa was 15 last year so they were slightly lower are there any affiliates still in africa no dude they're all no okay okay so so it doesn't matter no affiliates in africa

um duplicate accounts will not be allowed andrew hiller. By the way, let me stop here and say this to you. If you want to see something really well done, a 9.7 out of 10, go over to Coffee Pods and Wads and watch Pedro White's interview of Don Fall today. Wow. It is... Congratulations, Pedro. you fucking killed it also i want to make sure that

you guys know that uh spin you what will you be doing at wadapalooza this year what will barbell a spin be offering what are the offerings that you're offering around wadapalooza i have no idea okay fantastic i'm glad you came prepared. I go there and I wing it. Okay, so you are going there. That's the plan. Dude, you should come on our fuck... Never mind. I'll wait. Are you going to ask me that same question, bro? Yeah, give me a sec. Jesus Christ.

DSP. Down syndrome boy. Oh my god. So listen, you want to follow the Barbell Spin. You want to make sure you follow their Instagram account. All kidding aside, last year it had not only the best content, the fastest content, up to date, up to speed, most detail, highest picture. It's where all of us are going to be going and grabbing shit.

Truly, Spin is a one-man wrecking crew. Halpin, plan to share. Hey. What? I feel like I'm a part of the Spin team crew. Halpin, plan to share. What? I feel like I'm a part of the spin team too. Okay, hold on, hold on, hold on. One-man wrecking crew. Are you taking John Young with you?

No, but I've been on every spin show for like the last six months. Hey, are you going to Wadapalooza? Listen, listen. You are not going to Wadapaloo listen you are not going to water palooza and spin goes there and he's like an octopus he has one hand on his camera one hand on his phone one hand with a pencil and paper i mean he's he's that's fair you'll be probably on my show just jerking off just critiquing and judging and bad mouthing athletes okay yeah you're right you're right okay stand down john uh helping uh plan to share side by side with all of you soon that

calls out every difference thank you by the waypin was in a tremendous asset and I have him in my notes here. He's a tremendous asset, uh, watching the be friendly show today. Uh, he made several comments and I grabbed the comments and, uh, I'll be giving him credit where credit is due. Uh, and also this year, um, uh, self-made training program will be there on behalf of, uh, I believe he'll be doing some work with uh coffee pods and wads but more importantly who gives a fuck about that him and jr howell will be doing a live podcast every day on the seven on podcast station which i hope to be on also from my little desk here and probably john young will join them so they will be there with a live studio audience

you guys can fire questions talk shit blah blah blah all that anything you'd like to add to that it's gonna be like college game day dude i'm gonna be fucking oh that's great jr is gonna be reese davis john young is gonna be fucking that old stupid fucking idiot who puts the thing on his head sevan's gonna be like fucking steven a smith dude it's gonna be a fucking blast i feel like out of all of us i look the most like kirk herb street no dude it's not about looks it's about the take you are the Lee Corso hot take guy, dude. I'm the most accurate guy. What are you talking about?

No, dude. And lastly, you didn't mention this. Yeah. I'm going to be running classes at an affiliate there in the morning, 7.15 a.m. at Noah Olsen's dad's gym. We're going to be doing an SMTP class, our class. You come, you get a free month. I don't think that's true. Fuck you. you get a free month i don't think that's

true fuck you what do you mean i don't think you're running that 715 slot i heard you got i heard it got taken by uh the some someone else like some like dei stuff yeah some dei person booted me on a saturday but i still have a friday and sunday okay friday and Sunday, you want to work out with the best coach, trainer, programmer in the business. Noah Olsen's dad's gym. In some form or fashion, we might change location. I don't know, but we're going to be training people there. What gym is that, Taylor?

CrossFit, Wynwood. I'm trying to freaking, you know, hey, we'll see. Something else might happen. Tyler Watkins correcting Mr. John Young. John, you were part of the spin, not the barbell spin. Dinkle dong. Dinkle dong.

That's the first time I've ever been called that. That's when you put a dingleberry on a dick. Okay, so back to the rulebook. Duplicate count's not allowed. Exemptions must be applied for every year. I think that's's one point. Oh, nine. I think that should just say, tell us your sob story. I don't think that they should have to go into any detail on what exemptions are and aren't allowed. But I guess that's not professional. But let me bring this up to you. I'll start with you, John. It says in there,

you must have a three year residency. And Brent said that seems like a long time and then he let it slide he didn't belabor the point but I think that deserves a little attention I think three years is too long I think if wherever you did the games last year that's good or wherever you lived last year during the games should be good enough so so if you lived in the United States but you had to compete for Iceland last year because you didn't live there in time then it's good enough one yeah i think i think if you have a one-year residency that that's long enough but i mean i also i i would be fine with it either way it doesn't three years how long's a career for an athlete for crossfit yeah well if you're young if you're young then 10 years most people maybe five so you're young, then 10 years.

Most people, maybe five. So you're like Grant. You don't care. Take it or leave it, whatever. That's how I feel about it, yeah. Okay, Taylor, do you have a problem with three years? I think three years is utterly ridiculous. My camera cut out and my mic cut out.

Three years for what? Three years. Residency. I think that one year is more than enough. If you live somewhere, one year should be able to compete in those regions. That's it, one year. Yeah, I mean that's typically like for getting a license in a state, right? One year or even sooner than that or proof of residency for like most – like housing or taxing or something is like one year or school.

Sorry. I just mean what's fair to the athletes. Like you move somewhere. Okay. So let's say, let's say, go ahead. Spin.

I'm going to zero years. What? It's where you live. As of when though, then there was just set a date. Start of the open, start of the open, but February 29th, wherever you do all the workouts in the open and quarterfinals in that

residency. But define live. Is that you have a house, you have residency. You have to do the workouts in that open and quarterfinals in that residency but define live is that you have a house you have residency you have to do the workouts in that location oh okay so that's it you just have to do the workouts in that location so let's say you got a friend who's a baller who got a jet and they just fly you over to that spot you're good with that sure hey i'm good with that too i and honestly i'm fine with that too but like they say, like they say the three-year residency, I'm like, okay. If they said a one-year residency, I would, I would say, okay. If they said there's no free for all. just accommodate them like just make it's already so hard going to the game why not just do what spin says like wherever you do the workouts that's where you get to compete you know what they're

afraid of they're afraid of people like piling into the africa region right for one spot for once oh so like i can think anybody's moving to africa for crossfit bro okay okay i mean it happened what was it 2016 um a guy from from Invictus went out there to Asia. A couple of guys did, and it didn't pay off. Good luck. Go out there and then see if you can do it. But I don't think it was broken then. I don't know why they implemented this residency piece of it.

And again, we brought it up last year. It's different for the United States. It's based on where you live in the United States. But every other region is based off of your residency or your citizenship. So just because

I was born in the United States or Canada, it depends on where I live. Not where I was born, but everywhere else it's where I was born. BJY, Wayne, and you brought us here. We're not going back. Fair enough. All right.

Young Jay, baby. We're walking a tightrope. Financial hardships. Halpin points out on the podcast, financial hardships have been removed as an excuse. Fucking brilliant, right? Like who's to judge what financial hardships are that's some dei shit photos and then and then halpin went on to say something along the lines like photos video cell phone media will not be considered as proof of residency i didn't i didn't really understand what that meant does that we don't even have to focus on that but uh does anyone know what that

means that's a 1.09. Probably some dumb fuck athletes were working out at Mayhem one time. We're like, hey, send them a video of us fucking training here, dude. We live here. That's what that sounds like to me. That's the kind of stuff these ding-dongs do. Well, what other proof – why wouldn't you be able to use where you were working out if it's time stamped on video? As proof of residency?

Because you're just working out there. Yeah, but if you have content from you working out somewhere every single day, then that's proof that you've been there every single day. Is that the Bailey Rail rule? God, dude, it just is so like, find something concrete to use show us a fucking lease agreement there here it says it says proof of sustained residency in a single country outside of the athletes country of citizenship begins february 1st okay uh proof of residency residency may include but is not limited to lease agreements utility bills government issued identification pool boy thinks wherever you masturbate the most should be considered residency. Is that what he says?

Yeah. Oh. All right. So the school bathroom? Oh, my God. Oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness. Okay, here we go.

1.30. This was some weird wording. You're encouraged for the quarterfinals. You're encouraged to use a registered judge. Encouraged? You're encouraged? No, encouraged. Yeah.

And that's because there's like 5,000 more quarterfinals athletes? What are they going to do for that? I just don't like this wording. This doesn't seem like rulebook wording to me. There's going to be one other incident where I found something like this either. Any athlete who wishes to qualify for quarterfinals is encouraged to use a registered judge. That is a judge who passed the 2024 online judges course. Why not just require that?

Oh, this is to qualify for quarterfinals, not open finals. During the open. Oh, yeah. So why don't they word it like that anyway? For any athlete who wishes, any athlete who does the open, why don't they just say that? Because they're trying to take the top 25%. They don't give a fuck about the top 10% now.

They're trying to get your fucking mom into quarterfinals, Sevan. And they don't really give a fuck about the top 10 percent now they're trying to get your fucking mom into quarterfinal seven and they don't really give a fuck okay they don't really give a fuck if she has a certified judge okay you know what i'm saying yes uh jr howell uh mr self uh i thought we were going to work on that brain mouth filter thing nah dude we're not working on shit that all goes out the window when i get on with seven yeah yeah that's only One that's only when he's off the air when He's around his mom that he Works on that filter okay that makes A little more sense I'm glad you explained that to me okay

So any athlete who wishes to qualify so Basically if you're just If you don't think you're going to qualify for the quarterfinals use Any Tom Dick or Harry as your judge like I'm just Going to use myself yes Okay yeah I mean I'm probably Just going to take a video and not have a judge and then that's it i'm entering the open this year not only am i entering

the open this year but the affiliates that have the most open entries will get to participate in the seven podcast you think you'll make the age group quarterfinals fuck no i'll make it i won't make anything i'll probably make it to the second workout. I'll be like, my back hurts. My back hurts. My back. I hurt my back. I'm old. I can't do it.

1.31 prize money for the Open. Oh, this is always fun to talk about. Look at this. I like this. $15,000 for first place. Is that the most it's ever been? Same as last year. Oh, darn it.

Darn it, darn it, darn it. Did it go down to fifth place last year, though? Yeah, it did. Okay. Have they announced a sponsor for the games yet? No. Jeez. That's why the rulebook took so long to come out

Cost of registration What do you mean what's the connection there They're waiting Oh meaning they weren't even sure If they were going to do the games Maybe Oh my goodness Hey Allegra R

Hey Hey she her Listen I want to be nice to you but listen i saw you in the uh chat during my premiere of my workout you were criticizing my depth on my ring dips i challenge you you don't need you can't even you can't with a with a 200 pound weight tied around your waist you can't get my depth oh dude he's on smtp he'd fuck you up allegra r that's not a he it's a he dude it's a she the she what is it no dude it's a he no

it's uh you know she they they are fluid shut the fuck up dude allegra whatever whatever they are dude i am she that's like that's what god would say i am she she dude i bet she can fucking dumbbell snatch more than you can i bet you can't do um uh speaking of which uh he is she and they tomorrow morning uh special guest uh garrett glinton will be on uh she's been on the show before. I thought you were getting to the transgender policy at the end of this. Yeah, I thought that's where you were headed. Dude, is it opening the door for me?

No. Bro, this is my chance, dude. Let's get to it. But I'm pumped, because Garrett's great. Hey, Taylor, you can go both ways. You only have to change your name. I've been excited to have her back on a second time. And Brandon Waddell will be on. So it's going to be a fun show tomorrow. Who's brandon? Um, uh listener listener to the show. Come on, buddy. Come on

um gap between quarterfinals and semis is uh Is is smaller than it's ever been is that true? Uh fukowski was looking at that on the beFriendly being like, ooh, that's going to be really tight. Are we guaranteed to see a bunch of videos from Hiller talking about just the fucking disaster that is the review process? John Young? Yes. If I gave you $50 to bet, disaster?

I mean, I feel like he's going to have a good amount of content on it, yes. So one thing that there is new is that i don't know if he never ever would i'm sorry brian um i don't know if there's a way for that not to happen i feel like there's always going to be the review process is always going to be messed up or not go down far enough or they're not going to check enough videos they never have it's never been like man they did a really good job on the video review process i don't think there's ever been a year where there wasn't people that snuck through but by snuck through you mean down at the bubble there were some issues not through deceit but just through the inability to check the amount that

need to be checked to get the bubble athletes perfectly correct is that what you mean so like there's a volume of scores that will have an effect on the bubble athletes that they can't look at just because there are so many so many right that might have an effect on their placing go to section 2.08 um 2.08 one two oh so real quick before spin goes the reason why this is all in bold is because it's all new correct uh no they bold certain things it's not it's not because it's new okay but this is new uh so as you see their top 60 men and women and 40 teams from each region are required to submit a video of all their workouts. Previously, it was that you had to be ready to submit a video for each of the workouts. Yeah, what's the difference there? Look at the age group.

That's exactly what I was looking at earlier. It says in the age group, it says each age division must be prepared why not just make everyone upload them it's free just send it to youtube why do they have must be prepared why that's that's what they used last year i don't i don't know it makes zero sense to me and i don't know how how you're required to submit at the time you you know because you don't know if you're top 60 when you submit your score it makes no no sense just everybody submit it if you want to qualify you have to submit your score you mean submit you mean you mean you mean your video submit your video with your score yeah if you want to qualify that's what you have to do

and i'd go a step further and say just you, you have to make it public, but can you guys think of any reason why someone would make a video and not submit it? You can make it private and just send CrossFit the link. So you don't have to worry about Hiller ass pounding you. I'm with Ryan. I think you should be required to make it public. Agreed. Oh,

what are you hiding? If you are good enough, if you are going to the semifinals, like these are the fittest people in the are going to the semifinals, like these are the fittest people in the world. Now the semifinals, you might not be the games, but you're the fittest people in the world. And you should be up for scrutiny in everything you do.

I think the problem, I think the problem is this. If you're uploading in like a score submission window and everyone's videos required to be public, then everyone's waiting for the last possible moment to submit, right? Everyone submits at the same time. That score window is that going to have like an issue overloading the

servers? Like are these thousands of people submitting their videos at one time? I don't know. Fuck all about that. No, because I think they live on YouTube and YouTube can handle whatever they can handle. Would the site with the CrossFit site be able to handle that many people

trying to submit their scores on the site at one time? I mean, on quarterfinals... Wait a second. Quarterfinals, it's a hidden leaderboard, right? It's a hidden... But Brian, they have that same problem now. I don't understand what Taylor's saying. What's the difference whether they submit the score or the video?

He's saying the CrossFit can't handle them submitting their YouTube video to the CrossFit site, like their score. No, it doesn't matter. The score is the score. If they're waiting to the last minute, they're waiting to the last minute. Regardless, the video is not going to impact the CrossFit site. All right. Okay, so Nick's that, but they're still waiting to the last minute to submit their video. Because as soon as they submit, it doesn't matter if the leaderboard's blind.

Their video's public. It's on YouTube, so anyone can YouTube oh, fucking Bill fucking Leahy quarterfinal workout four. See his score? I have 30 minutes to go. I'm going to beat it now. I think that's up for grabs, though. They can do that anyway. I think you make that up for grabs.

I appreciate you bringing it up, Taylor, as a point, but then that's the name of the game. Go all out on your video. No, you just make it unlisted, and you have to submit your video. Why? Why? Listen, Pedro's asking Don Fall all sorts of crazy questions about the fucking state of affairs at HQ,

and he's transparent about it. Why not fucking make the athletes submit their... I mean, shit, this is just a game. Submit your fucking video so we can all see it. about it why not fucking make the athletes submit their i mean shit this is just a game submit your fucking video so we can all see it the problem with online competition is these fuckheads will repeat a workout six times and that's not how competition should be but listen they have to submit their score anyway and we can all see their score are you saying that none of the scores should go live until the last minute i'm saying hey dude i'm saying the blind leaderboard is great no i'm

saying the blind part of the game then part of the game is you better do your best score and so and you better figure out how to how to do it's it's like you just better figure it out but this is the thing if brent goes and does a workout once three hours before the submission window or four hours or maybe it's the morning of and i have 12 hours i can beat his score in four fucking attempts okay so it just it just doesn't yeah but you can make you can make it unlisted but have the link to it on the website that's what i said game site like and there and john and seven that's still public though i mean it's just not publicly listed but no one can go find my video unless they have the link and only

crossfit would have the link no i'm saying it's visible when you look at the game's leaderboard there's a little link to your video like when you submit it online people can still see your score regard let's say they don't require any videos but if you went on the leaderboard you could click your you could click it and see let's say it was just the honor system and there were no videos people can still see your score i don't understand why the video plays a role in this at all i think the way they have it I don't understand why the video plays a role in this at all. I think the way they have it, the blind leaderboard and the video has to be public is fine. Everyone can submit, and then as soon as the submission window closes,

the leaderboard becomes public and all the videos are public, and now you can go in and scrutinize. That's fine. Right. That's fine. Okay. All right, all right, all right, all right. Meet you halfway.

Okay, so you're saying hide everything until the last minute. And then once it goes live and it's closed, everything opens up the videos, everything. Hey, but before the scores are adjusted. But how about this? How about let people, what if someone puts up, then you are also taking away the opportunity for someone to be scrutinized by Hiller and then redo it. Not necessarily. Hiller is going to scrutinize it when everything's going be scrutinized by Hiller and then redo it. Not necessarily. Hiller is going to scrutinize it whenever they scrutinize it anyway. And I don't know what I'm saying,

but then they can't redo it. What I'm saying is, is good. You have one opportunity to do the right thing. And if you fuck it up, you're getting ass pounded and your season's over. Or make it public and send it to him. Uh,

let me just, let me throw this. Who cares? Taylor, who cares if they beat, uh, the score by doing multiple attempts they'll be unveiled in the next round yeah who cares you're just talking

about for the money that's how you know that's just how you get fucking women at semifinals who can't do a fucking ring complex it's stupid dude get these fucking slap dicks out of here and get the right people to the next stage all right um anything you're right can i say one last thing please he's right in relation to finding the fittest on earth it will sort itself out we don't really care about who's making it to semifinals from 20 to 40 for the most part but there are special cases a handful of cases where you could probably take an athlete like on the margins like a colton or fukowski who has troubles in a particular quarterfinal workout or at semifinals has trouble in a particular semifinal workout.

Um, but they get, you know, say they place 38th in quarterfinals in their region and they just barely get into semifinals and they go and win their semifinal because the programming is different. Um, and we also now have to program for fucking the top 25%,

your grandma, who's fucking 82 and all the other athletes have to do the same fucking workouts. What is it? 54, 54. Basically everyone does the same program between the ages, ages of 17 and 54.

Yeah, it's bad. I can't wait to see that. Oh, you guys are going to have a field day. Um, okay. But we do agree on this,

that everyone should have to put their videos up. Yes. Yeah. That's unanimous. Old people too. Or there there's or there's something we just don't understand okay um semifinals registration is 300 quarterfinals is 50 um uh semifinal registration is 100 bucks 300 oh wow uh semifinals it will be there will be seven different semi-finals right does that sound right seven different uh regions um outside entities will be running uh those events but the programming will be done by crossfit hq across the board that'll all be the

same um how do you feel about that as an event organizer that crossfit does the programming for like taking somebody else's dick you don't like that for semifinals yeah um no that's how it was i like it like that i like everybody doing the same workout no i love that but i'm saying if you're an event organizer has to foot your own bill and you don't get a say in shit how much do we know how much they're paying? Like for Renegade Games, for example, in Africa. They don't have to be the event organizer. Somebody else will.

Dan Guerrero, Taylor gets me fired up. It's free advertising. Taylor's on a roll. Is it? They don't fucking advertise shit, John. No, for your place. For your...

Who's advertising it? CrossFit? Come on, John. For your place? Who's advertising it? CrossFit? Come on, bro. Yeah, I don't know. I get what you're saying. You don't have to. You don't have to be an event organizer. Somebody will.

I get it. I just don't know how it makes sense financially just stepping back and saying, if CrossFit can't make it work financially for semifinals, how does an outside group come in and make it work? That's a really good point. Like why, if I'm Wilson or Loud and Live, you know, Mac or Loud and Live, why am I signing up for this?

Hey, it's kind of like, well, it's kind of like the media. We got outside media running the show. We got the Illuminati running the show. Yeah, but if you told all of us that you're going to lose money doing this, good luck. I'm going to take on Sporty Beth, Ben Romani, and Spanker until she fucking cries. Don't you talk shit about me like that in the comments.

Taylor's getting sued. He doesn't know shit about fuck. Fuck you, dude. I'm not getting sued. Nothing official, bro. John's on X. I don't have a... I think all the

regionals should have the same workouts. Yeah, for sure. But we're just saying why are like... You're an event organizer. You're a placeholder for their event. It's no... What do they get out of it? Why does Wilson do it? like why does wilson do it

why does loud and live do it yeah i don't understand are they are they getting all of the sponsorship money for people going to the venues is that they charge vendors right so what i'm saying is is that the prospect of making money is okay i can charge vendors and sponsors but i just have to pay for the venue and everything else so like is that and i don't know what the rules are this year but last year i know they were kind of handcuffed and what sponsors they could go after exactly and they had to foot their own live stream damn taylor you went from being the most popular guy to now you're just a target for shit listen to this one this one's good uh daniel g Taylor basically dry-screwed an entire shaker of protein.

Dude, I talked about this on Shut Up and Scribble today. Have you ever heard that your body can't absorb more than 40 grams of protein in a single serving or sitting? That's the average human being. But it's not true. They just came up with a new

study that shows that your body can absorb up to 100 grams an hour after intense exercise. And it like spikes your anabolic hormone response immediately and for like hours afterward. So I filled my protein shaker. I had a shaker like this tall. I filled it three quarters of the way up with protein powder, one quarter of the way up with milk. And I basically ate protein butter for fucking 30 minutes. How was that? It's fucking good. Damn, damn, damn.

You make Pool Boy look like a girl. Probably not, actually. You just drink two of those little Fairlife milks and do the same thing. It's much, much more tasty. How about this, Chrissy? Dang, what if Hiller charged money for pre-submission video review? Dude, he would.

Damn. People will be sending him like fucking only vids though. Like fucking dick video. You get all sorts of shit. Uh, pool boy. Uh, I agree. Why, why is the West coast classic hosting the West town files? Hey, who knows?

But I'm glad, I'm glad Dylan's doing that. I'm, I'm so excited. I'm so excited. Personally, for me as outside media, it is the best thing ever for us that Wilson and Dylan and all those guys host that shit because they're fucking cool as shit. Right? Does anyone disagree with me? No, you're spot on. Yeah, they fucking hook it up. They're like, yep, come work, come work. Like, they're like, there's your lane, go work. And they're doing West Coast at the StubHub Center, right? No one's big dicking you. Yeah, yeah.

No one's big dicking you. No one's fucking with you. They're just letting you report. Yeah. Yeah, I love that. Let it keep going. However, let us know how we can help add value, Wilson, Dylan, whoever. Let us know. Contact any one of us in the Illuminati and let us know how we can add value, Wilson, Dylan, whoever. Let us know. Contact any one of us in the Illuminati

and let us know how we can add value to your event. No shit. I'm serious. Are we going? Is that what we're going with? The Locker Room Illuminati. Listen. That's two different things.

I'm with it. Here's one more thing also I'm personally looking for A sponsor I want to take a camera That just focuses on one athlete As a proof of concept At Wadapalooza So basically take Colton Mertens

We'll be with him an hour before the event And then an hour after the event And we'll just be live with him And you can get all the fucking closeup you can of him or whoever, Velner, whoever I'm looking for a sponsor who wants to do that. It will be huge. We'll blow it up on this podcast.

You'll get every time there's an event, you'll get an entire show with a ton of good talent around them. Uh, and exploiting one of these athletes, they'll be getting a lot of attention in your product. We'll be getting a lot of attention. your product will be getting a lot of attention. So if there's someone out there who wants to do that, let me know.

Let me know. We got, we got water Palooza. Uh, he is, he's on the team for sure. Is he doing individual? I believe so.

I would follow Ricky, man. Uh, I can't tell you who's in the Illuminati. I'd have to kill you, but, uh, I understand the,

uh, I understand the desire to know. Okay. Um, in the illuminati i'd have to kill you but i understand the uh i understand the desire to know okay um 3.08 uh halpin also points out on the be friendly podcast i like this i'm curious what you guys think about this that if for some reason you leave the event you get booted out of the event you get injured whatever happens let's you get to keep the points and you're ranked accordingly to how many points you have so let's say you get injured after five events it's not like you're just out of the um competition you still get placed based on how many points you have that's a that's a pfaa thing god that sucks because i don't like them but i love that rule good job pfaa point fikowski I don't like them, but I love that rule. Good job,

PFAA. Point, Fikowski. Do we like that? Is there any reason why we wouldn't like that? No, I think it's good. I think it was Jamie Simmons that benefited from that when she withdrew at the games this past year. Initially, she was down in the leaderboard, then she got her points and moved up a little bit.

There's also something in 3.08 that i think is interesting it's the alex coron rule let's hear about this yes let's hear about this let's see it's uh top of page 20 don't tell me what to do trying to help yeah go down to the next page don't tell me what to do. Here we go. If there is no minimum work requirement, this part's been? Yes.

If there's no minimum work requirement for a test, athletes are expected to continue attempting to complete each test for the duration of their heat. This means they're actively attempting to complete the specific movements of the test as it is written until the time cap expires. Athletes who are unwilling or unable due to injury to continue attempting to complete each test within the time cap may be removed, may be, may be removed from the competition. This does not apply to athletes who have reached failure and are taking extended recovery time in an attempt to finish. So let's do it.

So now we have just introduced the CrossFit version of fucking pretending you got fucking demolished as a kicker or fucking hit really hard as a quarterback to get a flag thrown or fucking taken out. Explain that to me. What you're saying is that

someone, explain that to me what that looks like. You're injured but you pretend like you've reached failure? Right. I mean. Not that hard to do. I couldn't hit that 95 snatch on my elbow. When Gray Sabre gets hit in the head with the chain. He didn't stop. No, but I'm saying if he was hurt, that's an example.

And then he just fails the ring muscle-up. I don't see the connection there. That's different. Like, you're completely asleep, right? Let me bring someone up. What about Bjorkman Carl Goodmanson at the games? That's what Taylor was saying. Oh, okay.

Yeah, puss, bro. If you're going to fucking tap out of an event, homie, you better start faking it or else you're out, brother. So should he have been out with this rule? Is he outspent? Yeah, for sure. Out, dude. Bon voyage. Again, it's a gray area.

He was able to do the rest of the events, though. It was just that one. He had a back spasm. He did the weight. He just did it at 95 pounds. He did every other event after that. But he's not trying. He's not trying to do a one rep max snatch. You're interpreting the rule, John. We're talking about what-rep max snatch. You're interpreting the rule, John.

We're talking about what the actual rule says. You're using common sense, John. That's where I don't think this... This basically is being written so that they can do what they did to Alex Caron at semifinals last year and point to the rulebook and say that's why we did it.

Even though they changed it on the later semifinals. Yeah, so this is a fucking CYA bureaucratic fucking douche canoe move right here. If there's no minimum work requirement for a test, athletes are expected to continue attempting to complete each test for the duration of their heat. This means they're actively attempting

to complete specific movements of the test. Athletes who are unwilling or unable due to injury so i guess at that point it becomes interpretation john if a spasm is injury or not or if it's actually just part of a fatigue limitation right that's what alex corona's doing he was swinging up on the rings, but not really getting there. And they said, you're out. But his was an injury. And Bjorkman Carl Goodmanson is a gray area. We don't know if a spasm is an injury.

Or if it falls under the category of... Or, I mean, Roman. I mean, Roman with his one-footed double-unders. Yeah, but he continued to try, dude. He fucking continued to try. So, 95 pounds snatching isn't trying? No, he was doing double unders on one fucking foot, and BKG didn't.

Fuck off, dude. You don't think 95 is trying? 95 pounds is trying for BKG on a one-on-one. Okay, what would be trying? Nobody's injured. What would be trying? Oh, okay. Putting more weight on after hitting.

Well, how much? More. How much? Tell me. More. It doesn't matter. Taylor, okay. Putting more weight on after hitting. Well, how much? More. How much? Tell me. More. It doesn't matter. Taylor, tell me. A hundred pounds would have been okay? John, I don't think the question is how much. It's like how, so what Taylor's saying is he wants to see him put on 255

and then do a yank and fail it. He wants to see it like come past his knees and then drop it. Yeah, fake it, BKG. Come on, fucker. What up? Do a fake ref. It's still the same position. But it's not the same at all as Roman limping,

oh, I die for Russia, up to his fucking finish mat, doing double unders on one. Hey, that's not what he said. That's not what Rosa said he said. It looks... Rosa. Dying for reps. And BKG, meanwhile,

just hits an easy 95, puts down, waves to the crowd. I agree. If he's having a back spasm, which is what it was, he's more likely to hurt himself doing that

than a 95-pound snatch. And it's the same position anyway. He did the repetition. It's just, that's his max pound snatch and it's the same position anyway he did the repetition it's just that's his max we know it's not but he still did the movement that's trying look at zachary cadets taylor's 100 correct tell me what the fuck taylor's saying we don't even know what he's saying dude i said it five times you're a retard you didn't fucking understand tell me again because john got a question for you. How much?

Okay. More. Try more. That's not an answer. That's not an answer. Do you want me to explain this to you? 185. 185.

Cancel the lock. Cancel the lock. The problem with BKG is on his first round, he did 95 pounds. And for each subsequent round, he did not attempt anything more. He did nothing else. He did not try to do anything heavier. So you wanted him to do 115 on that second. Who fucking cares?

Just try. He did not show himself trying. Okay, okay. Roman tried. How is that so hard to understand? So we got two stories here. With this rule, does BKG get kicked out? I don't think so.

But I don't think it... I don't know where you draw the line. Does this mean Bethany Flores doesn't do Rogue? Because she couldn't do half the events. Yeah, get her the fuck out, dude. You're taking a spot of somebody who's going to die for points. You're over there literally. Invitational, I think.

I think Invitational. I don't give a shit. It doesn't fall under the rule book. I would say Bethany doing the snatch was not her max. She limited what she did because of her back. But she tried. Did she not continue to try? So you just want to engage you to do like 115 on the second one,

and then you're fine. At least pretend like you're trying. At least pretend like you're out there dying for fucking points, dude. If you're out there just taking a fucking knee like, I don't care. But he knows. He knows that 115 is not going to matter logan logan uh logan ewing's in the uh comments uh uh roman krennikoff's train partner

logan is that true that there's gonna be a pay-per-view fight event between gee malheros and roman krennikoff oh wow roman all day man bare kn Bare knuckle, though. Foreskin out. Sheath. Unsheath. Unsheath, bro. Logan gave me the win because I was hyping Roman up. That's exactly why. 100%. I'm glad that you can recognize that. I can, 100%. Roman was trying.

VKG and Bethany at Rogue were not. And nothing pisses me off more is when you're just walking through a fucking competition where everyone else out there is dying for fucking points. It's disrespectful. Get your fucking lazy ass off the. Well, it's the spasm. The spasm doesn't fall under injury. I'm I'm I'm guessing that it falls under.

Hold on. You've reached failure and you need extended recovery time. Oh, my God. You've reached failure with the spasm? Yeah. You are extremely familiar with that, you two-pump chump. You have your fucking spasm, and you go to the kitchen, get something to eat, and your wife's like, you coming back?

You're like, no, I'm good. I had my spasm. Yeah, I'm good. I had my food and my spasm. I had my spasm and Yeah, I'm good. I had my food and my spasm. I had my spasm and my food. Okay. So that'll be fun. 3.10, what can be appealed? This is interesting. I guess I had never looked at this before. This episode is brought to you by RBC Student Banking. POV, you're a student listening to an RBC ad.

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you can look forward to new discounts throughout the aisles at Loblaws to get your essentials at great prices. It's your cue to stock up and save. Look for new value programs when you shop at Loblaws, in-store and online. I'm going to pull this up here. There's a two appeal rule. I guess that means you can only appeal twice. I don't know if that's,

athlete teams will start the competition with two appeals. So during the entire competition, I guess you can only appeal twice. What can't you, an athlete or team cannot appeal live judgment calls and no reps by the judge. Common examples include, but are not limited to, range of motion, depth of squat, extension of hips, knees, or arms, stabilization of a lift, or equipment overhead. So what are the – oh, and here's our examples of things that can be appealed.

Scoreboard or leaderboard data inconsistent so that's like hey if you're if you're saying like uh the my my my my clock is wrong right or they put the wrong score and they put my score in brian spin so you can appeal that counting inconsistencies oh my god so how do you do that you tell the you tell the head judge hey i did 70 um double unders but my judge only counted 65 can i get you appeal it afterward yeah they go and do a video review which and so in a in a venn diagram that would also be no reps right but well no what they're just like a miscounting of like almost a clear a good example of this is uh in 2021 whenever they did the peg board double under uh single arm overhead squat lazar dukic his his counter never counted his

first double under every single round and he was second place by like two reps so he would have won that event had his counter counted the first double under and he every single time he had to do 21 double unders and not 20 every single round and and it was an am rap so they you know 11 rounds of not counting that one double under that would be the a good example hey when you're doing double unders and you start the rope and your first one your first time you jumped does that count as one even though you – If it's a double under, yeah. If you do a double under, yeah.

Oh, right. Okay. Got it. All right. All right. Yeah. Feel better? Yeah.

Thank you. Thank you. All right. Okay. So this seems I I guess, normal. This is all the same as last year, too. Okay, what's stupid about it? I don't understand how you can go back and review a video

and address a clerical error like a miscount or something like that, but you can't go back and see a fucking judge giving somebody no reps for clearly good reps. Why can't you make an adjustment on that? That makes no sense to me. Brian? like why can't you why can't you make an adjustment on that that makes no sense to me brian i think if you're gonna do judgment calls you're gonna get a lot more hey well you can only but wait a second but you can only get two right that you only get two

appeals so you're saying just now everyone's gonna use them well only give them one appeal and if you want i think if you get it if get it right, I think you get to keep it. It's like a challenge. You could be wrong. I think you should give them one fucking challenge and let them. It just makes no sense because the judges make mistakes that cost fucking thousands of dollars. Let me ask you this. Let me ask you this too.

Throw this in there. I think I recall Adrian Bosman saying that if you make an appeal and we review it and we see other shit they can also add time right is that true yeah okay but if that's true we should be able to review a fucking slapdick judge too because they're out and i and i i think you should be able to review movement too like the rogue middle judge that one year horrible ridiculous and that costed people thousands of dollars that one middle judge and we we called it every single heat we're like the guy the person in the middle is going to be last place in this heat and it's just because of the judge when i was at rogue they knew that was happening the judges and that judge specifically knew what was happening was like scared and she fucking had

her hoodie up the whole rest of the weekend. Don't make a fucking mistake. Really? 100%. Damn. I mean, I don't think she was scared. I think she was like, fuck them. I'm going to keep calling. No reps. Tyler Shangarice. If you close your eyes and listen to

John Young, it sounds like Kermit the Frog had a daughter who decided to do Trent. Wow. That's a very specific... Wow. John Young. It sounds like Kermit the Frog had a daughter who decided to do Trent. Wow! That's a very specific... Wow! Define a slapdick judge, middle judge from Rogue two years ago.

Oh, it's like Jeopardy. Exactly. Whenever it doesn't matter what the athlete is and we can just be like the person in the middle is last place without even doing without even knowing who it is. It's it's wrong. Like that judge is wrong and it's bad and it should never happen. And you should be able to appeal that and they should be able to look at the video and be like, that's what's good.

That's what's good. That's what's good. And then just subtract 10 seconds from your time. They overturn fucking referee calls in every major sport with video review why the fuck can't you do it here it makes no sense to me oh let me let me this is interesting so i misunderstood helping uh on the be friendly podcast so here's where it is look at this look at this final line here down at the bottom video photos cell phone media or any other media will not constitute grounds for changing or modifying decision score or entry made by an event judge. So that means basically you're talking about the crowd content.

Yeah, if a judge gets it wrong and you provide them evidence of how it's wrong and why whatever you're appealing for is right, they're not going to accept it. Cool. Are we cool with that? No, no dude they're fucking stupid again i i get i get what they're trying to do right oh we can't take all these athletes like freaking appeals like just assign one person to handle appeals and you give each athlete one what you're already doing one appeal or two even two is fine and you tell the athlete what you're already doing, one appeal or two, even two is fine. And you tell the athlete, look, if you submit this appeal and it's wrong, maybe you give them a penalty.

Or if you submit this appeal and we see something else that results in your score being adjusted for the worst, we're going to do that. And I think that minimizes the athletes who fuck around. Yeah, I agree. If you fuck around, you'll find out. I didn't even know you could get it. I didn't even i didn't even know you could get a discount and mint trading cards using code word seven i guess you can uh wad zombie both sets of cards got both sets of cards today

beautiful uh sebi thanks for the promo code so i didn't even know that but i get your daniel branding cards down pepper um any of the existing or former brood athletes and other athletes. It's Ken Walters literate. Yeah. Out. What was that? Go out. How he spelled that.

Goat got. And that's by the way, just so you know, I think Ken Walters, no shit has like a million trading cards. So for him to give a, um, an endorsement of these cards is, is, is pretty fucking cool. Okay.

Uh, a tire gear, general rules, uh, Fikowski's at the end of the podcast that he was pleased that they're using some of the PFAA wording and suggestions. That was really cool. Fikowski actually was really good on it.

His audio was kind of ass. Um, but, but he, but he was fantastic on the show he really uh added to the show let me pull up um mr spins notes since he actually gave a shit you're you're pretty much on target i don't think there's anything um uh 5.15 i think is the only thing we haven't touched on slimmed down from last year different between divisions did we go over the trans rule?

we're not there yet do we have to? no we don't have to what dude sorry oh my god No, we don't have to. Okay. What? Dude, sorry. No, you don't have to. I don't know. Oh, my God. Hey, are you talking about the entourage rule here? Yeah.

I think that's the next thing Hiller should do. Instead of making an invisible athlete to see how far he can get with nobody seeing anything like he did last year, he should just uh register as andrea hiller and and and do it as a female that would be that actually would be interesting i agree you think they've let him in like semifinals as a female if they do the event in canada they can they got a 51 year old man in canada in the dressing room with uh 8 to 16 year old girls on the swim team now okay like if if if they did like hiller should not go in the same locker room as the as the women but that's where john draws the line on the uh no don't make it uncomfortable

for people but just make a point no if you're gonna make him he's got to tuck he's got to tie that thing up he's got to go he's got to go tie that thing up. He's got to go all in. I mean, he's got bigger boobs than half of them. What is that stuff you tie meat with, like meat twine? He's got to tie his meat with twine and hook it to something on his low back or something. Jeez. 5.15.

You're turning into a tortured. Gentlemen, gentlemen. A spin, 5.15, Games Athlete Entourage. Information regarding an athlete or team's entourage will be provided in the athlete information package sent via email or prior on-site registration information regarding an age group athletes entourage will be provided by their event organizers respectively this is kind of weird right because i thought you just got one coach's pass what's this entourage shit that's what last year it said that just got one coach's pass. What's this entourage shit? That's what last year it said, that you had one coach per individual athlete or team is allowed in the warm-up area.

The coach must have credentials. Certain areas were off-limits. It went a lot more into it. It also had athlete, rehab, medical staff will be provided by CrossFit in a designated area. All athletes using their own personal therapy providers must do so in designated areas only. Now that's just, we'll tell you when you get there.

Oh, so maybe not only can you have a coach, but if you have a, like Josh Bridges used to not bring a coach back at the CrossFit Games. He would bring a body worker. That's who he gave his coach's pass to. So what you're a coach back at the CrossFit Games. He would bring a body worker. That's who he gave his coaches pass to. So what you're saying now is that the CrossFit Games is kind of broadening the ability of athletes to bring more than just a coach. No, we don't know. All it says is you're going to find out when you get your athlete package what you can do.

But entourage is more than one person. Yeah, they want their athletes to be able to bring their standee person. Yeah. They want their athletes to be able to bring their, their standee person. Yeah. Yeah. They just don't outline it this year. That's probably really what it's called. And then someone else said, that's how you castrate goats.

Holy butcher. Somebody sent Hill or a roll of butcher. So along those lines, there was also an interesting thing that's come up this week. Roman was allowed two passes, one for his agent and one for his coach. Oh, yeah. It was not his translator, his fucking agent. Yeah, that's a little weird, right? Here's the thing about the games, dude.

Agents are crawling all over the warm-up area like fucking ants dude they're back there like fucking picking up their little pieces of sugar and carrying it back to their fucking aunt then they're everywhere so they're already entourages you have like the lower tier athletes with like one or two people with them and then you have hwpo they've got their six coaches per each athlete four agents for each athlete etc etc it just is hey that's one of the benefits of being with the camp right listen you have six athletes and you and so you get six coaches passes and so maybe you give three of those coaches passes to coaches and the other three to other support support support people i think each athlete should get one coach coaches pass and no one else is allowed back there.

Or do you have to be a, I don't know. I mean, I don't know how you police that. You just get one pass to give away as a coach and that's it. Uh, unsporty Beth. He traded his flag for an extra.

What is the deal this year on the flag? So we heard anything about that gentleman. It's the same as last year. No, still Russia and Ukraine? I don't know what they're doing about that, but if you get your exemption,

your flag at the games will be your flag will be whatever country you get the exemption for. And last year, did he use the mayhem flag? What did he use last year? Yeah, he used the mayhem flag. Yeah, that was weird.

It should be you have to use a country flag, right? Not just whatever flag you want. Next thing you know, we're going to have the fucking Confederate flag. I can't qualify trans and fly the pride flag. Wow. Wow. Yes. I did.

Oh, there are two more things, Saban. It was his choice not to fly the Russian flag. All right. Thank you, Logan. Go ahead, Mr. Spin. there are two more things, Saban. It was his choice not to fly the Russian flag. All right. Thank you, Logan. Go ahead, Mr. Spinn. What are the other things? 7.01 on equipment. This is athletes may not receive assistance moving or placing equipment during a test. Athletes who receive outside assistance to manage or place equipment may face a penalty or disqualification.

May. Yeah. And so that's for quarterfinals and semifinals so that's the general rule of thumb and they may not receive any outside material assistance water tape chalk gloves from spectators or coaches and this is once again for quarterfinals semifinals and games yes so my thought is is that the rosa roma roman rule where she's giving him food and water standy uh and and what didn't something happen during the semi-finals too like someone was stopping someone's bar put weights on for them or started their row or wasn't there that's no that's quarter finals i think this is this is for adaptive or started their row. That's quarterfinals. I think this is for adaptive. No, it's not adaptive.

You can't throw it. You can roll Jedediah's wheelchair into the... If it rolled away, you couldn't roll it back to him. No, this is just a general equipment. And then 7.03. Let's do it.

Shoes, support belt, knee and elbow support. The fourth bullet point on shoes. Athletes may only bring one pair of shoes onto the competition floor for each test unless otherwise stated. What does that mean? Is that the one that they're wearing? Does that count? They couldn't bring in a pair of running shoes and a pair of lifters.

For the games? This is just live competition. Okay, live competition. But when they say bring, that's the ones you're wearing. Yeah. I think this is because of the semifinal workout last year, the Snacks run. Where you change shoes in the middle. Kind of dumb on their part to program

it that way, though. What do you expect? People are going to be bringing out every fucking piece of equipment in the world for that. Why does that matter? What do you care if they bring out extra shoes? Why not just let them bring whatever the fuck they want? Because in life, you might not be able to change your shoes if you have to. No, I'm with you, Sevan. It costs you time. Like, it's,

it's your, it's a poor, it's a poor workout. If there's time to change shoes, right? If you need lifters to snatch after running, then that's a, that's your problem.

You need to be better at snatching without lifters. Um, I, uh, I'm, I, I think you should just let them wear whatever you want. And if they can change shoes in the middle of your workout,

that's a poor workout on your part. Like most workouts I have running in them, I'm going to wear my runners and then it doesn't matter. I'll clean 315 in my runners. But for this specific, that semifinal workout, they had the one rep max snatch. Like they had the 800 meter run. And then they had time. Right.

So it's like, okay, if I want to change my shoes, I can change them. And a lot of people would. Yeah. 100%. I think you should be allowed to, but I'm saying, I think that's just a poor workout because they have that time. I'm saying, I don't think there should be a rule at all. And if they change shoes and you don't want it, that's on you as a, as a workout programmer programmer adhesives and lubricants i know hold on before we get to that let me ask you this what is what's the point of

this a wrist strap shall not exceed 40 inches what does that matter wrist straps what does that matter what the fuck they're not gonna measure that with a fucking ruler jesus christ why are you putting that in here? Something must have happened. Something must have happened that we don't know about. Same as last year. I think it means the wraps. It does. But why? Why does the length matter?

It's probably something Brent put in there. That's great. Okay. Adhesives and lubricants. Astroglide. this is interesting uh basically you can't lube your feet you can't leave your feet and and uh this uh you can't use shit that's going to come in contact with the equipment is that it doesn't make uh the use of chalk magazine magnesium carbonate is permitted on the body and the tire. Any other adhesive products that would be used in place of chalk are prohibited. This includes but is not limited to resin, rosin, sandpaper, tacky, liquid chalk, liquid adhesives, and waxes.

The use of oil, grease, baby powder, talcum waxes, cream, or any other lubricants on the body or personal tires is not allowed. If it may come in contact with any competition equipment. How are they going to police using fucking resin or rosin or fucking pine tar? How? There was this in Rogue when they were picking

up those bags and they were putting them in that bucket. I don't remember what the name of the event was but it was one of those events where you started off with the whole team and you just kept doing rounds of it but that event ended up dual that event ended up being won or lost on people who picked up the bag and then did a quick re-gripping of it the people who did the least re-gripping of the bag as it came off the ground do you know what i'm saying. People would pick it up and then do a quick re-grip.

And the people who did the least of that in that transition won every time. That was the spot. That is a spot where fucking you should try to cheat and put some resin on your hands. Oh, 100%. Pine tar it up, dude. Yeah. Pine tar the fuck out of that and try to get away with that shit. Stick a fucking knob of that shit in your pocket or better yet boof it between your

cheeks in the warmth in the warm-up area dude just unclench grab that pine tar get after it pro tip or what about sabotaging someone else's bar right dude you could put like just carry a bottle of ky with you dave's all over no. Dave's olive oil. Oh, shit. That's funny, dude. Put it on someone's wooden four-inch muscle-up bar. Dave's olive oil is just a bottle of fucking Crisco squeezed into a cute tin can.

Yeah, and if I'm there, I could just wipe a handful of my hair grease. Ew, fuck. Alright. So, any final words All right. So, so, so any, any final words on the renewal book?

Just, just, just another day in CrossFit. Good stuff. Thanks for getting it out. Did we want to complain about anything? It seems like everything's fine here. Is the timeliness of this historically,

does anyone want to put this book in perspective? Timeliness, the timeliness, just what's in it. It's much smaller than I thought. Don't go back to 10 years ago. It's much longer. Did I see it? Yeah, very much.

I mean, Bosman said when the structure changes came out early November that we would see the rule book in early December. So I don't know what the delay was because there's nothing in here that's different, right? Like you would think that any of these things that they've been able to work on for the last four months. This is early December for CrossFit.

Yeah, I'm good with this. Well, then let's say late December. Let's just say that. What? Say what? Let's just say late December. Okay, late December. Anything else? What happens next? What are we waiting for next? What's next in the lineup here

of information we're wanting from the games? Location and dates for age group and adaptives age group and adaptives yeah okay i thought that's what they were waiting on but they probably know they just haven't announced it yet they haven't done they haven't created they they have to go to the proper channels before they can release that media the 12 channels of before they release something yeah that and if we're to have a sponsor for the games. Oh, yeah.

There's a chance they don't have a sponsor. No. I've heard it's out there. Everyone knows who the sponsor is. Go, Rock. Everyone knows. I mean, people. You know who I heard from?

I found out from Tyson Bajan. The CrossFit CrossFit Games? The Chicago Bears CrossFit Games? Yes. Dude. Hey, what did you think about the trailer for the behind the scenes? Dude, it was fucking sick. I wetted in my fucking pants, dude. I felt like Meg the Stallion.

Get a bucket and a mop, baby. It made me sad because I wanted to see more. Do you have a date when it's going to be released? All of it? Yeah. So basically what I'm trying to do right now is I'm trying to negotiate with – basically I want to use it to promote the open. I want to show Don and Dave that it's got – what did you say?

Clip by clip. Yeah, clip by clip. I want to show – I don't know what that means but yes I want to basically show them that like hey letting me do that adds tremendous value to what they want to accomplish and I think what they want to accomplish is they want people to enter the open so I'm going to fucking enter

the open this year I'm going to do all the fucking workouts and before every one of these shows I'm going to fucking tell people I made a little commercial telling people I'm going to do a little contest for the affiliates that whoever whoever has the most people join At a local affiliate whatever affiliates have the most open people that they can be guests on my show And then the affiliate that has the most

The largest amount of open contestants can be a regular on the show Like not not all like not if they suck But like if they're pretty good if they suck they can still come on like five minutes once a month but if they're good, they can come on regularly. They chop it up with us. They can be on the CrossFit Games Update Show. That kind of shit. You ever watch the movie Jarhead?

Jake Gyllenhaal? That's what I think every time I see the name Jody. So basically... Wait, I'm not done. I'm not done pumping up my shit so basically the plan is is that there'll be a release for all the members of the seven podcast uh that will be for available to them for two weeks or a month and then after that i'll release them to a week up until the 28th february 28th the day before the open and then after every show i'll go live and and talk we'll talk about it we'll have a fucking huge party sweet swinging tequila

for those of us that haven't been through rehab dude the fucking trailer is insane thank you and the voiceover is insane sorry am, am I revealing too much? No, it's great. I've already shown a little bit of it here. Let me just show you a little bit more. Ready? Is this on YouTube? Probably unlisted, maybe, like all Bill Leahy's workouts.

Okay. I spoke endless words and went straight to his work, reminding the athletes that he wasn't a jerk. Oh, my gosh. I didn't even see the man behind the fucking camera. This is the quietest you've ever been. Yeah, you did. He's just standing there filming.

I'm just holding him. Damn, damn. That's enough. That's enough. Don't get crazy. Don't get crazy. Don't get crazy. Don't get crazy. I felt someone chubbing up.

Someone hasn't done the Open since 2020. This may be the year. I don't even think I did. Did I do it in 2020? He would know, dude. He's been stalking all over your fucking CrossFit profile. Hey, what's his Fran time? What's his 5K? Who?

Savants, dude. I'm asking Halpin. Halpin, get the stats. Run the test, Halpin. Oh, shit. I don't know if I'm guessing this. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. I just got a text from Tyson Bajan.

What did he say? Chicago Bears sponsoring the CrossFit Games? No, he's just telling me hi. Just being nice. Chicago Bears are going to get Caleb Williams as the number one pick. That's what he said. Wow, Savon has no listed benchmarks?'re a pussy dude come on everything's under 10 minutes how's that everything's under 10 minutes i cannot do fran in 625 do you want to guess his fran time do you have a relevant fran

time that you know i'd probably say it's 824 no no hold on don't let's. Ryan, do you want to guess? Oh, man. It's so bad. It's so bad. My fastest frame time with 95 pounds is so bad. Was I close? Yeah, you're close. He's closer.

Spin's closer. I'm going to say 722. Yeah, close. Now you're two seconds under. Whoa. It was 724? Hey, that's not bad. I think I've done it with the women's weight in five minutes or something. Dude, that's fine. You're dope, dude. You're fit.

You're in the fucking one percentile of Americans, dude. You're good. Thank you. My 5K is under 10 hours, yes. Can you beat me in a 5K, Savan? No, probably not. I can do a 5K in 24 minutes. Ooh, you're close. Was I just three 8-minute miles? That would hurt me, but I can do it.

23.12. Wow. I might be faster than that now, but that was the last time I did one. Yeah, I'd have to. Oh, thank you, Hans. I appreciate it. There you go. Oh, you were guessing mine or yours? Please tell me that's yours. Dude, I want to take a CrossFit class with you, Savon.

Like where we do partner workouts and shit for like we're in an affiliate together? No, we just do the class workout together. It doesn't have to be a partner workout. Dude, last time, I'm telling you, I jumped in with Pool Boy in the first five minutes. I was like hurt. I know you're this, Greg. That's why I haven't made semifinals

yet, because I'm slow. I get it. I'm working on it. You don't run in quarterfinals in the open, Don. Yeah, but your lungs have to work, and my lungs don't work as good as everybody else's. Damn, bro. You need to fucking go smoke some Juul, dude. Get some juice up in there.

Guys, I do have a question for you. Do we know who NoRepNews is? Yeah, I know. You do? It's Pedro. Yeah, it has to be. 100% Pedro, dude. I'd bet my left nut on it. I didn't know his last name was White.

Peter White. NoRepNews. Sapphire. here's why it can't be pedro he doesn't crossfit games releases 2024 rulebook andrew hiller feverishly reviewing it listen he doesn't know who um tom and jerry are he does dude and he knows who the lord is too bro look at someone has to do the lord's work at hiller 2.0 hashtag CrossFit. No, he doesn't talk like that. It is him, bro. It's satire.

No one, no one in the Illuminati, no one in the locker room says the word satire, dude. Other than, Oh, Irish word, dude.

Yeah, I'm with it. I, I, I hashtag satire. Affiliate owners negatively impacted by affiliate fee increase will be eligible to use cole's cat they don't have a fucking cole's dude in europe how the fuck does he know what cole's is listen to this fucker dude i could make semi-finals with one fucking leg dude get off my asshole bro

i think games and semi-fininals is a fair question but uh yeah I think that's a fair question but uh Taylor can make semifinals and he's very fit Crossfitters worldwide prepare for the holiday to celebrate their lord and savior wow

crossfit satire satire it's 100% Peter dude and when i sent that to the chat everybody shat on me i was like listen you guys don't get it only peter says satire no one else he gave himself away bro he didn't even realize it when you said it in the locker room there's no chat anymore how does how does this only have 1,228 followers and Wooly has 12 million followers? Wooly started out with a

pair of balls and then they got smaller and smaller. Then he gave one away. He gave one to Lauren Khalil. Then he gave the other to Nikki Brazier and now he's got no fucking nuts. Just like that. I don't know what to tell you, dude. Everyone knows I'm not that funny or clever.

Dude, I think it is. No, it's not Halpin at all, for sure. I think Halpin wants us to think it's Halpin. It's not. There's no way. No fucking way, Sousa. Get out of here. That's a John Young take if I've ever heard one.

I just said... Get out of here. That's a John Young take if I've ever heard one. I just said. I don't think you know how I talk, Taylor. You just say the wildest things that are so incorrect about me. Judy, congratulations on getting your L1. Seriously.

Good job, man. She got her level one? Yep. Let's go, dude. Love that. John, let me get you a level one. I'm waiting on JR. Damn, bro.

I'm supposed to be one of his orphaned kids that he's given a free scholarship to, right? Bryson Del Monte, Taylor makes the games first or? Oh, I make that first because that'll happen before the games this year. Will it? Yeah. How much money are we putting down, dude? I'll put some, I'll put a,

I'll put a hundred dollars on it. A hundred bucks that before the games this year, you run a sub 21, 5k on a track, 400 meter track. Yep. Well, I have 5k route.

Let's not, I don't want to go on a 400 meter track. We're not going on a five. We're not doing a cast. We're not doing Castro measurements. Yes. So boring. Oh,

exactly. Dude. I'll. Oh, exactly, dude. I'll bet $100 on that. I won't. You probably will. I've been running, man. Do you want to see a really good CrossFit video? Sure. Do you want to see one?

I'm probably going to get in trouble for showing this to you guys. The commercial? It's sick. Why probably gonna get in trouble for showing this to you guys the commercial it's sick Why would you get in trouble for this because his crossfit doesn't want me showing their shit for some reason But I want to show you this this was made by Jay Vera. He no longer works at CrossFit. He was fired But but look at look at this video This was made internally. Okay ready? Check this out

you are my son my biggest fan i want you to have the opportunities i didn't. To be smarter. To be faster. To be stronger. To be better.

I might not have done everything right but you you are the best of me how good is that? What's it about, dude? I don't even get it. You don't get it? I don't have a dad. Oh, my God.

Oh, my feet are tingling. My feet are tingling. John, you like that commercial? Yeah. I don't know. I'm indifferent. I'm not a very sappy person. Oh, come on, John. When that was made, though, everybody

loved Johnny Medina. That dude was awesome. It's not about who's in it. I'm just not a very sappy person. Okay, let me show you another one. Let me show you the one that they just released today. Let me show you what they released today. Hold on. Let me show you what they released today. Hold on. Let me show you what they released today.

I think it'd be different if I had a kid. Let me show you what they released today. Wow, dude. I bet that hits home to a lot of dads out there. But if you're not a dad, you know what I mean? It's hard to relate.

You're fired up about being a dad dude you just want to go make a kid with it's funny i don't even i didn't when i saw that i don't think i had kids when that was made and i thought holy shit this is amazing you don't need to have a kid you need to have a fucking dad or or a kid or just be human okay here we go how about this one how about this imagine a world where% of the world's population, instead of dying from chronic disease, actually have health markers in the best third of the range. And those same people, they can tackle any adversity or adventure that comes their way or that they want to take on well into their 80s and 90s.

All of that is supported by strong local communities who reinforce those healthy habits through a sense of accountability and belonging. CrossFit can change lives and that isn't just the physical aspect. In fact, I'd argue it's more the community aspect and the worth that people gain in themselves from it. And I'd argue that people that would slip through the net need it the most. When those healthy people, more connected, more empowered people, what do they do? They feel so damn good that they can't help but make the world around them better in large and small ways. Those people mean more to me than anything else man. These people are genuine. There's a real human problem for which we have a solution. We've been in the business of saving, improving, and transforming lives for 20 years.

The day I walked into CrossFit Mentality, I could not air squat to a 45 pound plate on top of an 18 inch box. It's about everyday improving in these incremental, tiny little ways that add up to this huge change and health that can carry you through, you know, months and years and be a buffer from sickness. It's just that everyone here is very supportive.

I guess that's why it's such a wonderful place. I can tie my shoes now. All of a sudden I could do this and all of a sudden I could do that. CrossFit works for everyone, can be scaled for anyone, and continues to work over the long term. We don't water down. We don't move goalposts. We know it works. It's intensity, it's moving well, and it's working hard.

We will meet you where you are, and if you show up and you try, we are going to figure out how to get you there, how to get you beyond what How to get you beyond what you ever thought possible for yourself. That's what we have to offer. When people choose CrossFit, they're... What do you think of that video?

I like that one a lot more. I love it. I think it's long. It's on the longer side. We're going to air that. Super Bowl? Fuck, dude. Hey, Tyson Bachen at the end there. Hey, at the 27-second mark, I completely tuned out. As soon as they put this writing up and they didn't give me enough time to read it, and then the next shot went to something else someone was saying,

I completely tuned out. It was just downhill for me from there. That's interesting. I'm glad you guys liked it because for me it's trying to do five things at once. It's just too long. All right. But that's awesome that you guys liked it because for me, it's trying to do five things at once. It's just too long. But that's awesome that you guys like it. You like it, Spin? I'm in between both of you.

I completely see what you're saying, Siobhan. It's kind of just going no real direction. It doesn't hit you. It doesn't make you feel anything. It's like, I feel nothing.

This is just, yeah, this is what we do. Yeah. Okay. Like anybody that knows CrossFit, all I see is re used clips. Right.

It's not for you guys. Yeah. Right. But who is, that's right. Who is that for? That's what I want to know I felt like it was trying to be everything to everyone

it should be three different videos maybe but you loved it I said I liked it I think if someone who's never heard of someone who's fucking scared to walk into a CrossFit gym watches that video this will encourage him to walk into the gym

I agree 100%. I think so. Do you go to an affiliate spin? I do not. Does that make you want to go? Does that make you want to go? That's not fair. Spin is an elite athlete.

We're talking about the soccer moms of America. Spin is fit and has an amazing garage gym. If you don't know what fucking CrossFit is and you're scared to go into a box, I think that video makes you less scared. Okay, fair enough. You don't know a ton about CrossFit, period, but you're thinking, maybe I should try it.

This is also true. Not one single person will see that video and go into a CrossFit gym. Andrew Hiller. That's probably true. Do you think they play that when the CrossFit Games is on ESPN? What the fuck, Taylor? God damn, you're as fucking confused as the video.

I like the video. Listen, if you want to make a video that's going to attract people, I get it. Make a video that's going to attract people. I couldn't tell if this was supposed to be a hype video or an emotional appeal video. Like, it just kept kind of like, where are we going if that's true if that's true what hillar said which i don't know i don't know how you can prove that's true or not but if that is true then it's retarded because word if if it's just showing people that are already in crossfit gyms i was under the assumption like CrossFit was on ESPN,

the games were on ESPN or CBS, whatever it is. It is commercial plays on TV during that time. That would make sense to me. Not the whole commercial, but a minute of that. Here's my

street cred. The last time Seban did all the workouts in the Open was 2016 maybe the only time i don't even believe i'd have to see if that's true i don't think i've ever done them all i must have lied dude his best finish is around 48 he's coming after you sebon what do you mean that's supporting he's supporting me with evidence he's riding your disco stick dude sebo dude he's going he's going turbo speed up and down, bro. What are you doing, Halpin? Leave the man alone. Anyway, before anyone at CrossFit gets their fucking panties in a twist, just say thank you for me showing both those videos.

Don't be like, he's dogging us or he's this. No, it's all fucking hype. Shut the fuck up. Oh, Matt Sousa, it's definitely worth $1,500 more a year. You think we should video Halpin and Savon going head-to-head in all the open workouts this year? For sure. No, dude.

I think that'd be fun. Yeah. Anything up? Anything else in here? Higher BK, Greg. Katie gannon's looking for a job there you go that's smart they need to hire an editor asap get it down to 30 hey katie they just need to hire anyone who can actually do anything like like a hands-on person they need they need someone they need a cook in the kitchen that's what they need hire Hire anyone who can do anything. They need someone

who actually can do something. You know what I mean? They need someone back there. They're outsourcing all this. Mason Mitchell, someone loves the Open so much he's never done it and zero chance he will this year. Bullshit.

I'm going to do it. I'm going to do the whole thing. I'm going to tear it up in my garage. You're going to do all three weeks. All three fucking workouts. Oh, so scary. Are you going to do the quarterfinal workouts when you make it? You can't make it into quarterfinals.

Dude, I've been close. If I get a sponsor. If I get a sponsor. If you get a sponsor, you'll make it to quarterfinals? No, if I get a sponsor, I'll do it. I ain't paying that 50. I mean, of course I'll do it. You think you're going to make it, though?

No, fuck no, dude. There's going to be something there like 20-pound wall balls, like something I just can't do. Are you really that bad? Dude you that's a bad office chair what kind of brand chair is that can you send me a link to that i got this fucking one on amazon sorry wrong way it's just fucking it's not that good dude it's no lumbar support final final question of the night uh Has John ever made a waffle sausage? Has John Young ever made a waffle sausage sandwich? I just heard sausage and got all fucking lightheaded. I have not.

I have eaten four at a time, though, like a big burger of waffles and just. Four, right? Don't do that again with your hands and mouth. That was chill listen two at a time is the way to go you can hold it like that you need to put two in the toaster and then you can eat four in six minutes that's the way to go my uh my father is here from armenia because my family was chased out of turkey and thank god there weren't people on the street saying free armenia or else i wouldn't be here because my family was chased out of Turkey.

And thank God there weren't people on the street saying, free Armenia or else I wouldn't be here today. So thank you for all of you for ignoring my people. Thank you for ignoring my wife's family during World War II, that they were able to come here and I can be here in America with all of you. Rich as fuck and sharing my living with Mr. Self, Mr. Spin, and Mr. Young. Love you guys. Tomorrow morning, Garrett Glinton and Brandon Waddell.

Heidi, good night.