The Sevan Podcast - Christine Kolenbrander HWPO | 2023 CrossFit Games Prep

Episode Date: July 21, 2023

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You don't look like some of the pictures I've seen you wear your sweating balls in Vermont. I'm not in Vermont right now, but I think it's hotter here than in Vermont. Where are you? Missouri. Missouri? Missouri. Is. Where are you? Missouri. Missouri. Missouri. Is that home for you? No.

Well, now it's home. I grew up in Michigan. Okay. So I watched the Buttery Bros video with you up there at HWPO. Awesome video. Yeah. They did a good job. Do you have fun doing that?

The video or the Vermont? Both you have fun doing that the video or the yeah you did both both but specifically the video um every time that i do like a recording like that i always walk away from it thinking i should have said this or i hope i didn't don't sound stupid and then when i like hear it i'm like oh that wasn't so bad no no it was great it was great yeah you guys look great you and katrin came out looking great uh heber and marge did you guys write yeah they're awesome they're really good at editing too i probably did say some stupid stuff but they left it out they had your back yeah hey. Hey, how long have you been with Hard Work Pays Off? Just since last season, after the games last year. I don't really even remember how it happened,

but it was just one of those things where it just kept coming up in conversation, and then some of my training partners here in Missouri weren't doing the programming that I was doing last year anymore, and I like training with people, and it just kind of fell into my lap and it's been really good. You don't remember, did you reach out to them? Do they reach out to you? No, I just signed up for like their online programming, like the, like what anyone can sign up for. And, and you just started doing it and you're like hey i love this yeah it was really really good and what's the what's the thought process um why to sign up

for hwpo when there's a dozen great great programs out there um i don't know it was I was curious about it and then also um like I said one of my a couple of my training partners were interested in it as well and it was just one of those things that just kind of kept coming up in conversation and it wasn't really like oh I know HWPO is going to be awesome because it's so new. And I didn't really know until I signed up. But it was kind of one of those things I was like, I'm just going to pay for it and see what it's like for a few months. And then if I hate it, I can get on or go back to what I was doing or get on something else. But if I like it, I'll keep going. Or vice versa. If you hate it, you know, it's right. And you'll stay with it.

Yeah. Yeah. Crazy. Um, do you call any of the people who are doing it too? Or do you, do you call up Amanda Barnhart or Katrin David's daughter? And are like, I mean, really experienced, um, uh, colleagues of yours, you know, athletes in your world. And do you, do you call either of them and be athletes in in your world and you do you call either of them and be like hey how do you like it um i haven't called them and asked how they liked it but it seems like i mean with katrin it's obviously working for her and i feel like amanda's gotten a lot better this year too so i feel like that kind of speaks for itself yeah both of you uh i mean obviously i wasn't there but in the video both you guys look

fucking amazing both you look like you're just you're ready to go you're ready to tear it up thank you yeah getting excited it's coming soon the summer went so fast so you're doing the program you're obviously a high level athlete uh went to the games last year one of the fittest females walking around on uh planet earth and when i mean one of the fittest females walking around on uh planet earth and what i mean one of the fittest i mean like literally like one of the fittest in in the arguably always ready to be in the top 40 do they see that you've signed up and one day like oki for sammy or marconi or fraser calls you and is like, Hey, we saw you signed up. You know, uh, we know who you are. Do you want to come out to Vermont and train with us? How does that work? No. Um, I don't

think that they knew I was doing it for a little bit and I kind of wanted it to be like that. I just wanted to kind of be behind the scenes and see what it was like. Um, and like you were auditing it, I guess you were auditing it to check it out yeah okay um and that's just not really my vibe to like i know some athletes will be like give me free programming or whatever you know like i wanted to pay for it and see what it was like before any of that so um but i was liking it so then I just kind of casually started tagging them in some of my pieces on Instagram. And then I think they started following me on social media. And then it wasn't really until semifinals that I got to meet all of them face to face.

And they were so awesome at semifinals. Just like had meetups with all the athletes that were doing the pro track and answered questions. They were in the pro track and answered questions they were in the warm-up area just like really available for all of the athletes that were doing their programming um and then after that after I made it to the game they were like hey we should do an athlete camp so then it worked out and went down to Vermont. So I think there were supposed to be a few more people there when we went, but life happens and some people couldn't show up, but it was kind of cool just being really intimate.

It's a, it's a 21st century like courtship process. You show them the respect by, by their programming. Then you tag them. Then they follow you. Then you see each other and you smile from across the room they walk over um when you tag them it's because you did one of their workouts right so you do one of their workouts maybe you post a clip from from it and then you

tag them yeah yeah and i think too just like giving that respect like the programming's good you know so yeah it's kind of like um if you write a paper citing your work right hey guys you you guys know I'm a games athlete not not them specifically but the world and here's a workout I took from these people and you know it's kind of it's paying homage to them it's it's some good etiquette yeah for sure yeah I feel like if you posted someone else's workout and didn't give them credit and then they saw it, they'd be like, wait, that's my workout. Um, after you do one of these crazy hard HWPO, super effective workouts. Um, Rambler wants to know,

what do you eat after a WOD? Like right after a workout workout usually just like a protein jake um pretty boring and we have these really good drinks at our gym that are from a local honey farm and it's just like juice sweetened with honey and it's so good what kind of juice um they have different flavors like they have watermelon strawberry a citrus one peach a bunch of different flavors i like so just like fresh watermelon juice and then throw honey in it from a local hive yeah that's a good life you're living a good life i mean so but basically you drink after you work out you drink your calories to get recharged you get ready for the next one

well and lately i've been doing organic gummy bears just because it's like quick sugar and it's been so hot just to get something in really fast. Hey, will you, um, when you do that, will you bring those to the games too? Is that like, okay, I can do organic gummy bears in my training. I know how they, I react to them. And this is something I can easily bring to the games. Yeah. I feel like, especially right now, it's just figuring out all of those little details,

like, okay, what, what's the quick little snack we're going to have? Or, you know, sometimes you have events where you only have like a 10 minute break in between what's something that doesn't hurt my stomach, but gives me energy for that next event. Congratulations, by the way, on the fourth place finish. Are you, are you, it uh congratulations by the way on the fourth place finish are you are you do you congratulate yourself for that or are you like um how do you feel about it yourself the fourth place finish um i mean obviously the goal is always to win but i think it was a respectable finish um i feel like i kind of showcased that i've been working on a lot of my weaknesses and was my goal going into the weekend was really just to be like smooth consistent and well-rounded

and you're with some you're you're in close proximity to all the front runners all the the horses in the front of the pack are all in close proximity. Alex Kazan, Katrin, David's daughter, Ariel Lowen, you, Bethany Flores. I mean, you guys are, and look at, I mean, Emily Rolfe is, I mean, complete, legit, bonafide, you know, top 20 fittest woman, probably at all times in the world. And look at you're in there with her, Kerstetter, the up and coming, you know, super athlete. I mean, you're with some mean you're with some

you're with some great people abigail uh doma and bailey rail down there wow crazy yeah our region was interesting like not as many of the top names but the field was very deep like there was a lot of good athletes yeah that's a good way to say it. Well, I think there were some great people in there too, but you're right, crazy deep. Yeah, you can't have an event where you slipped up, really. Yeah, look at Danny Spiegel and Cindy McElishan, two former games athletes. Mm-hmm, yeah.

God, I wonder what happened to Sydney. Did you get a chance to talk to Sydney there? Not really. It's really hard when I don't think we're in the same heat that often. And it's like you get there, you start warming up. And I always feel bad afterwards. Like, I wish I got to talk to this person or that person more. I saw her a little bit happening, but I didn't get to talk to her that much.

Well, I should tell Susan. I would like to find out how she's doing. She was great. I've had her on the show. She's a great gal. Hey, what about Danny Spiegel? Shocked that she didn't make it? I think everyone was a little bit shocked, but I think like you guys have mentioned, when I

saw that she was going to Saudi Arabia, I just had the thought of I can't imagine doing that um but almost like maybe she knew that she wasn't gonna make it you think maybe even like she wasn't no I think that maybe and I'm big into like personalities and I think her personality is like the more the better kind of thing and I honestly saw that and thought maybe she can handle that. I wouldn't be able to handle that, but maybe she can, you know, um, like it might stress you out, but for her it's a stress relief. Yeah. Yeah. Some people like get off on having a ton of things on their agenda, you know, or like, yeah, I don't know.

yeah i don't know oh wow look at that dick butter uh i took i took my first dose of bpc 157 in my low back today i'm ready to fuck shit up whoa keep me posted on how that works i only used it in my bicep or did you just do the one injection or did you keep going i did a a bottle of the bpc in this bicep and then um i took like two days off of the whole bottle you know i i think the whole bottle i want to say took me two or three weeks i don't even know and then i took two days off and then two days later i started um um bpc 157 and then something else like it's called like tb 500 or something and i'm gonna keep sticking it in this arm i mean i did a muscle up i did and i did 10 negative muscle ups and i did a legless rope climb and i haven't tried like any um i heard it doing a heavy dumbbell snatch lowering it

and i haven't tried that do you know what's crazy it's funny you asked that it hurts when i flex but none of the movements hurt so but much but whatever's but i whatever's happened i'm i'm getting back in the game so yeah fuck it yeah yeah would i fail a drug test with that sebon failed the drug test i don't think you guys are allowed to do that bp uh peptides right no i don't think so i don't do yeah good answer good answer i don't do i don't inject and look i just got like needles laying around now like a drug guy um so so then you when you have them you you're behind this i'm just so curious about how this works like with the camp so then you go to semi-finals and i guess they get send an email

and there's uh how many athletes there are 60 boys and 60 girls yeah yeah and so a handful of them are doing hwpo yep i think there were i mean at the meetup i would say there's probably like 10 of us and and so they tell you hey you get an email we notice you do hwpo we also know you're an athlete going to the semi-final um we'll have a dinner or snacks for you or we'd like to meet you or something like that at this time and then you can decide to go yeah i think it was they sent an email i think it was through email and said uh they're meeting up at a gym and they're gonna answer questions about all the workouts and then like do a little workout afterwards like a little just move around the day before the competition and um did anyone you remember being there of those 10 people,

were any of them your competitors? Any girls from the semifinals? Yeah, there was a girl, Marissa Flowers, I think her name is. Okay. I think she did really good in that ring muscle-up workout, the burpee. Oh, yeah. She's the girl who has like the minute 49 Fran or something, right? She's tiny

yeah tiny tiny yeah yeah she was really good at the muscle-up one um i think that might have and then like katrin is there but she was kind of doing her own thing she was in in the circle oh right right she okay and so then after that you um you qualify for the games and then you go home do they tell you they're hey worth is it literally there they're like by the way we'd like to invite you up to vermont or do you go home and then get a call or a text or an email uh it was just like casual conversation after the weekend we were all like packing up our stuff i think jared was talking to matt or someone about like it would be cool to do something and then i think i'll keep this right

there and he was like yeah we should do an athlete camp so it's kind of just like this elusive idea and then it became something so then um and jared's your husband jared stevens's your husband Jared Stevens is your husband yep I know I'm just letting the people in the audience know that and then so they then you just get a notice or they call you they're like how are these dates and you say yeah and you cruise up there and it's just you Hopper and Katrin

yeah they emailed me Jake Markovi emailed me and asked if the dates would work and it did. And then, yeah, it was just me, Jason, and Katrin. And what a tremendous opportunity for all three of you, right? To just get at it. Yeah, definitely. Yeah. And just like, I think it's always interesting to, like, just watch other athletes work out and how peeled on athletes and watching for every little detail of everything.

You might get a note at the end of the day, like an after action report. Christine, great job on the snatch. They make you a few shit sandwiches. Great job on keeping your footing consistent on the snatch. Your transitions, you look like a pile of shit you need to work better uh quit trying to sip your water in between rounds and by the way your hair was fantastic like they just make you shit there you go like that it wasn't a note at the end of the day but like even in the middle of workouts like if it was a workout that had um rest in between intervals they would come over and be like okay i want you to try this or you know good job on that but I want you to try this or, you know, good job on that. But I want you to,

I think one of the things they said to me was like, when you walk over to the ring muscle ups, like, I don't care how slow you walk, but as soon as you get there, you need to jump up like little things like that, you know? So it was just neat to see. It almost felt like you were part of a science experiment. And do you like that or do you feel pushed? Does any part of you is like, fuck you, I've been to the games?

No, I love that. I did gymnastics for a long time and your coach is on you for everything and just is constantly correcting things. So I think I'm really used to that and I thrive in that situation. Say it again. I just always want to learn. Like, I feel like you can never learn too much.

You know, if it was someone I didn't respect, then I would be like, okay, stop telling me. But I think they have good credentials. Mark Kramer, Sebon, you're killing all these interviews. Thank you. Peace and love.

Oh, peace and love to you. Congratulations on the beautiful family and being happy. Thank you for the money, even though it's Australian. Thank you. And was that your first time with like uh with some uh intimate time with uh matt fraser also did you know him before then or that was your first time yeah i met him a couple times in passing him and jared knew each other a little bit through like some sponsors that they had in the past but they weren't like close um so yeah really just in passing and then a little bit more at semifinals,

but really yeah. First time in Vermont, I would say like actually getting to know him a little more. And did you, did you get to talk to him? Yeah. Yeah. In the buttery bros video at one point, I think it's him. He says something to you. Hey, um, you're looking fatigued or I forget what he says to you, but he gives you an out for a workout like, Hey, it looks like you need to rest. Was that him? Um, and I think that part was really cool too. Not that I was fatigued but just hearing him be like hey different athletes need different amounts of volume like um catchering can do a million workouts all day long and someone like

me or Amanda Barnhart that maybe carries around a little bit more muscle mass it's like you know you get more bang for your buck if you're maybe not doing quite as many metcons but you're doing them really intensely you froze that's why i'm not saying anything now you're unfrozen okay uh did you get through all of that or did it no no try try again try again i think i understood but try again one more time please um so i just said it was pretty cool because you know that was one of the things that matt was saying was like and i guess just to hear somebody say this is that different athletes need different amounts of volume and someone like katrin can do a

million mat cons all day long and be okay but someone like me or maybe amanda barnhart who carries around a little bit more muscle mass maybe can't do quite as much volume but can do the pieces that we do really intensely and get more out of it that way. Yeah. And I'm not trying to correct you, but to add to it, it's not that you can't do them, but I think the first time I heard you say you get more bang for your buck if you actually don't do them. Yeah. Like you could have just slogged through anything.

You can slog through anything, right? Yeah, and that was his point. He was like, you know, I don't want you – he actually had me do – I think I did two rounds of the workout and he was like if you don't feel like you can do it at like a game's pace there's really no point like that's not what we're looking for in this workout um yeah and he doesn't say it's like it's not to make you feel bad it's not a motivational speech like fucking suck it up bitch and go it's more like hey you this is actually better for you to if you assess this properly now yeah for the future were you disappointed that amanda wasn't there you

just mentioned her name were you like oh god i hope i can train with her we're like we're simpatico yeah uh she had some life stuff come up i think i don't know exactly what but um yeah of course i was just playing she's someone that i always like running into and she's cool yeah have you trained with her before no yes yeah she's really cool um so then you you you come home from there, and any part of you think that, like, hey, this could be disturbing my training? This could be, like, fucking it up? Or is it basically consistent with the HWPO programming you'd already been doing?

And also, how did your relationship change with them since you've been back from there? Has it changed? Yeah. with them since you've been back from there has it changed yeah so first question um i would get a little nervous with traveling just like you know what if i get sick or whatever and i actually did wind up getting sick while i was out there that sucks um and i think that's honestly part of the reason that matt was seeing that i was drained i was starting to get sick so like like food poisoning or the flu or a cold or no um this really sucks but i've just dealt with a lot of crap since the first time i had covid no shit trying to figure it out but okay um yeah i have celiac disease and i don't know if that

played a part in it um but so just like a little bit you know compromise um but i never used to get sick all the time and ever since then i get sick a lot but just what is your sick what does your sickness look like you just like, like, just feel like shit? Can't breathe? Like, really, like, anyone else might think, oh, you just have a cold, but it feels like I've been, like, poisoned. Interesting. Okay.

Like, in your brain and your stomach? Uh, like, coughing, so exhausted, throat hurts, head hurts, fever, chills, like all that stuff. What's your heart rate do? Drops way. Oh, oh, it drops.

Yeah. What is celiac disease? Is that something with your red blood cells or what is it? No, it's gluten. Oh, okay. So can't have gluten. But yeah. But I'm working with a holistic doctor, and she's thebomb.com, and she's helping me out.

And we're on to something, but I don't want to share it out here yet. Sure. All right. Well, thank you. Well, I appreciate you just even sharing that much. C-like disease is a chronic digestive immune disorder that damages the small intestine. The disease is triggered by eating foods containing gluten wheat rye barley and so you're pretty you're and you're so you're pretty um you're crazy

disciplined around that you don't fuck with that stuff no um even like when i go to a restaurant i just have to tell them like i have an allergy and be very adamant about it. Like you can't get a crumb in my food. So as I get closer to competitions, like I don't really eat out or anything like that. No, I don't think she did. You didn't mess around with the injections, right? No. No, I don't think she did.

She's a God-fearingaring girl god got her back she they don't they don't they don't they don't take injection drugs i'll send you a podcast after this that you need to listen to though okay please yes i would like to uh wad zombie uh 499 thank you. Is there a Christine Kolenbrander card? I don't think so. He talked about it one time. Like the Colton Mertens card? You talked about it one time, Wad Zombie? He's so busy.

Between making fun of people and making cards. Has he ever made fun of you? Christine, have you ever been the target of Wad Zombie's humor? don't think i'm well he made me into a man i don't know if that's yeah he made me into a woman too all right fine but i was like those my arms on the picture did he make them bigger i couldn't i didn't know that's good so okay so you go up there um oh nice good fine wow jesus you got a little brad pittin you as a dude like a rugged like a worn out construction workout you you got a little uh fight club in you right there my goodness yeah my eyes look really tired i don't even know what picture that is from good job nick look at jack

farlow weighing in not bad not bad hey so then so you're up there and um by the way just one last thing on the sickness thing how long does it usually take you to recover from that if that sets in does it is it quick yeah uh so you probably heard me clearing my throat like i'm still kind of dealing with it it's been three so it's just there it's just it's just degrees of it yep i kind of feel like it's always there and then if i you know maybe overstress myself or i don't really know what triggers it, but it's like, I feel like the sickness is always kind of here. And then it's like, it can bubble over.

Hey, um, does it affect your eating? Not too bad. No. Um, when, when you, when you show up to the games, do you want to be as light as you can but as nourished as you can? Is there some sort of timing on that? Do you know what I mean? Like a marathon runner wants to cross the finish line dehydrated.

You don't want to cross the finish line hydrated. Do you notice if you can be as lean as you can but still have have the energy, your gymnastics will be better, but you, but you won't lose strength. Is there some sort of game you play? For me, it's kind of like, I feel like I have a sweet spot, like one around 155 is my sweet spot. And for me, it's like, if I'm healthy, I'll be leaner. If like I'm retaining, I feel like I'm always pretty lean, but sometimes I retain water. And for me, like if I'm retaining water,

it's a sign of something else going on. That makes sense. Do you, are you sure? Do you, do you take a creatine? Yeah. Yeah,

you do. Oh, who's creatine do you take? Driven nutrition. Are they sponsor jared's sponsor oh awesome shit good they're a local company here and then and then how did your relationship change so you go out there it looks like you were having a blast you got some intimate time with uh mr fraser and the clan uh and with Katrin and how does the relationship change? So they actually sat me down the Monday after the weekend and just said like hey let's come in and kind of talk about the weekend and then asked like they were so polite about it they were like

you can keep doing what you're doing if you want to but we just want you to know like we're willing to individually program for you through like through the games so that's what we've been doing ever since then so I mostly communicate with Jake Marconi and um he sends me my programming so we've been hammering my weaknesses the last few weeks so that's been fun um but yeah it's been really cool i've never had an individual coach before so no shit a new experience how is that possible how have you never had an individual that's crazy too i was talking to bronislaw uh today and he's he's had an individual coach for the first time justin kotler started like, I don't know, nine or in October. How is that that you've come this far without, you've just been doing all your own programming or with your husband?

Yeah. So I started team and Jared was with Brute Strength. So he would get the programming through Brute. And then Jared is like, he changes like all the programming of every program he's ever been with. He's just scrutinized it. So it was pretty, it was brute, but it was Jared's programming, you know, like he changed it a lot. And then in 2019, I think I pretty much did just class workouts and then what Jared would program.

And then 2020, still kind of was just doing whatever Jared would program. And then 21, right? Yeah, 21, 22, I was doing mayhem, but just like their online program. But Jared, like he knows me well enough and he's in the gym every day. So he would tweak the programming for me, you know? So like you could say Jared was my individual coach, but I've never had someone that's like legitimately just programming for me, not altering something else.

And are you digging this with Marconi yeah it's been really good it's been a challenge for me though I've realized when it's intimate to like or vulnerable to share like if you have a bad workout and you're not proud of something you know like I have to report that back and what went wrong or, Hey, I forgot to eat right before or whatever, you know, it's like a lot of accountability. And I've realized that I really struggle with if he said like, how did you feel during that workout? Instead of just being like good or bad, it's like, actually like,

how did I actually feel during that workout? I don't know. That question is then like, I have to pause and really think like, okay, how did I actually feel? So it's been good. I feel like I'm learning a lot about myself too. How did I actually feel? And, and, and do I really want to share this? Yeah. Like, do I want to be honest right now or just say, Oh, it was awesome. Or, you know, like, because you could be dishonest, but if he's truly going to get to know me as best as he can before the games,

I have to be honest. God, I wonder what a trippy job to be a coach. When you get a coach like this, does Jake say, do they reiterate to you? Like, Hey, just so you know, everything between us is a hundred percent confidential, blah, blah, blah. Like, do they tell you that? Uh, he didn't say that. Oh, I'll, I'll tell him he needs to say that on his, in his onboarding. Um, uh, Dan Guerrero from canada uh great guests guests great guests christine colin brander is amazing thank you both i added that i added the christine colin brander's amazing he must have forgot to type that hey how how's um how's jared uh behaving your it's your second time to the games. How does your husband change his emotional, intellectual, physical behavior around you, his domestic duties? Because basically you're the space shuttle and now you've started moving towards the launching pad.

Like they put you on that truck and that truck slowly is going to move moving towards the launching pad you know like they put you on that truck and that truck slowly is going to move you over the launching pad you started the journey over there um how is he and he's part of that right he's part of the the crew that has to move you over the launch pad yeah um he's been awesome he is so helpful and like you know usually i make dinner but if i'm exhausted he's like i got dinner like today he's like i'm gonna leave the gym and go make lunch so that it's all made by the time you get home um and so he's aware you don't even have to ask him this stuff he's aware like he's shifting he's shifting his role yeah he can read my body language and sometimes it's hard

like i was just thinking about that today I don't think it really gets talked about enough just the role of especially when your spouse isn't competing anymore I think it's different if they are competing they're like fully in it but I mean we're in the gym all day long and it definitely takes a toll on your relationship a little bit. And it's like, I have to keep reminding myself, like, it's just for a period of time, you know? But he's awesome.

And I think that because he's been in that place before, he understands better. But the other day he was like, okay, I need you to tell me exactly how you want me to be at the games because he's like, you know, he wants to help in whatever way he can, but it's like sometimes what maybe he would want or need as an athlete is different than what I would want or need. And even though we've been doing it together for a while,

it's like we're still learning in some aspects, you know? Yeah. That's not really him, is it? Yeah, it is. Oh. I thought it was just some pervert in the audience who typed in his name, Jared Stevens, and he's saying, I'd hit it.

What does that mean, I'd hit? It's inappropriate. Oh, good. Oh, that makes me happy. Good. That makes me happy, because that's exactly where my brain went. Great.

Are you a flat earther? Are you a stationary earther? You believe that? I haven't met in space. I can't say. Okay. Good answer. Like that's my answer too.

I'm open. I'm open-minded. Um, I'm a flat earther. I don't know. Cause you believe in God. Did someone in the comments said it? So it's a flat earther.

I don't know. Oh, I had a flat earther on and it triggered a lot of people in the, in the, uh, sorry, flat earther. I don't know. No, I'm asking him. Jeremy. Oh, I had a flat earther on, and it triggered a lot of people in the, sorry, stationary earther. Say that again? It triggers people. Yeah, I was blown away. I had no idea it triggered people. Like, people were losing their fucking mind.

It's hilarious. Like, you told them their mom wasn't really their mom or something, or that they were related to Hitler. It's like, fuck, they were coming unhinged. What? It's like, you haven't been to space. How are you so certain? Yeah, chill. Relax.

Yeah. Look it. Look, I triggered clock. Because you believe in God. What? Yeah, because all the Christians think the earth is flat. You're not. Listen, listen.

Listen. Explain to you Christians about you being Christian. You don't even understand what it means to be Christian. You're a Christian. Ask a non-Christian like me. I know what it means to be christian you're christian ask a non-christian like me i know what it means see look at look at here we go since when does flat earth and god go together since since democrats and pedophiles went together okay i'm i'm coming i'm coming on hinge don't give me start okay where were we oh so he's so yeah he doesn't want to fuck up he wants to be a good mate so he's asking you um uh he doesn't want to fuck up yeah yeah yeah should i yell from the sidelines

faster bitch or i love you no matter what like what's the what's gonna motivate you yeah it would yeah it'd be hard. For sure. Oh, here we go. I've really, I've really fucking agitated the beehive. I shouldn't have done that. Are you on your phone? No. Why?

You're on the computer. Oh no. Cause I, a lot of people when they're on their phone, they put it up and down like this. And if you were on your phone, I was like, good job turning it like this. Well, I think it was Susan. He did say to turn it to landscape if I use my phone. I was like, good job turning it like this. Well, I think it was Sousa. He did say to turn it to landscape if I use my phone. So I was prepared.

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That's the powerful backing of American Express. Visit amex.ca slash yamx. Benefits vary by card. Terms apply. So then, so sorry, going back to HWPO. So then they offer individual program for you, and that's going great, and you'll follow that up. And then when will you actually make it over to oh you're you're in missouri when we actually make it over to madison when do you go we're gonna leave next weekend um we haven't decided

if we're leaving saturday or sunday yet depends if we're driving it's eight hours so we still need to decide if we want to do the full trip at once or split it up um and um then we'll just be the two of you you'll go as just your own unit yep and then we're gonna be at an airbnb with my mom and dad and um a couple people from our gym okay cool and then and And is that close to the venue? Yeah, really close. It was like one of the last Airbnbs, but it's a good one. And will your mom and dad get on your nerve? Will they say like shit that's like not even supposed to be fuck with you, but like you'll get home and they'll be like,

could you have gone faster? And you'll be like, will they do that shit to you? I don't know. I haven't stayed with them at their CrossFit event. I think they're pretty like from gymnastics they're pretty aware of like how i am as a competitor and yeah if i'm disappointed in something they know not to talk to me or whatever but sometimes my dad i feel like like with the um this was funny with the sprint into the max snatch at semifinals. My whole family was like, I just don't understand why you don't open at two 20. This is not how that works.

So that was something I had to like sit them down and be like, I'm going to open a little lighter. Don't panic. Like, and I'm probably not going to PR like this isn't an event that you're probably going to PR in. Wow. That's worse than something I would ask someone. They need their own podcast. They need their own podcast. Yeah. Do you like that event?

Um, yeah, I wish we could i don't know how they would have done this but i think it would have been cool if we could have actually like raced outside oh for sure good yes yes and like just the like there is definitely discrepancies in the runners which suck but i mean dude we're there to watch human bodies do shit and we're there to watch human bodies do crazy shit i don't care if you're watching tennis or fucking basketball or whatever we're there and so when we're there we want to see like we can imagine going to a horse race and all the horses were on treadmills oh my gosh and then like all the videos talking about i think it was pillar but talking about you know the discrepancies and the treadmills and the comments kill me that are like if only there is a way that we can run without a machine dude it kind of bums me out it makes me feel like it's not even cross it i want to get rid of all machines i kind of want to get rid of everything like fuck you get rid of it all the runners the

bikes the rowers the skier is the dumbest fucking machine of all time i don't even know what the fuck that thing is but can you met like how are we going to actually ski you're not you're not you're not we're getting we're I would rather see, instead of machines, I'd rather see an event where all of you guys are just out on the field and they give everyone a bucket of tomatoes. And whichever athlete gets hit last wins that event than see someone do this and be bending over. Yeah.

No, thank you. I would do a tomato event. I don't like when people are like... What did you say? You'd do the tomato event? Yeah. Yeah, I would do that um look at this guy skier is cool as fuck are you kidding me it looks like it's a masturbation contest

oh yeah the tour tank my goodness another dumb pile of shit oh yeah i don't i don't like that i think it's a good training tool, but it's not competition. Okay, sorry. What were you going to say after the tomato event? I don't like when people are like, they should wrestle each other. I don't like that. Yeah, I don't need to see that either. I do like wrestling,

but I just think it's different than, it's not CrossFit. No, I don't want to fight somebody. And I like the fact that the thing with CrossFit is No, I don't want to fight somebody. And I like the fact that the thing with CrossFit is it's you. Yeah. It's you. Even though I

love fighting. Oh my goodness. Look at Blade. Y'all can kiss my ass. Skierg is dope. Stupid. Okay. And then, and then,

and then you'll, and then you'll get there and, um, and you'll get situated and then you'll do the competition. And then, and then do you have plans afterwards or does your life kind of come to a halt on Sunday and you just like look into the heavens? Yeah.

Come into a halt for a second, but I told Jared, I would do a tactical game with him two weeks after the game oh are you shooting yeah i did one last year with him and we actually won so we have to defend our title do you have your own gun you have your own gun no i borrowed one from someone else oh so you have you not shot since the last tactical games oh that's awesome all right like it yeah why not after the games i'll go into strict training for two weeks shooting guns and then no shit yeah just the two of you will you guys go somewhere just the two of you or will you like would you pick up aren't you friends with the dancers like you and the dancers

will go out shooting or something um well the dancers don't live where we live, but we're on property. So like last year, Jared, it was so funny. We would get home like late at night from the gym. You'd be like, okay, put your vest on. You'd make me like run the hills and do like all these burpees. And it'd be like dark out and he'd have to put his headlights on from the truck and then we'd be shooting and i'm just like what other couple this is just so not normal but it's fun you have a shooting range on your property yeah just like uh jared made it yeah that's cool yeah

that's what dave dave has on his he just made Yeah. We have a crazy neighbor, though, that does not like that we shoot. How far is he away from you? The neighbor? So far away. And he doesn't even live on that property. It's a field. And he just one day heard

Jared shooting and came over and he tried to videotape him and came over and he like tried to videotape him and threatened to sue him. It was really great. Wow. I'm judging your neighbor right now in my head. I built up a caricature of your neighbor. If you're shooting on your property, you're fine. Yeah. Especially if you have a, if you you have there's probably some

requirements right yeah like obviously you need to be safe and we want the neighbor to feel safe too but he's just kind of nuts I think he's a little I don't know he's pretty old maybe

a little unhinged he needs something to complain about. Yeah. How many acres is that house? Five, I think. Oh, okay. That's nice. Yeah.

You have a fence around the whole place? There is like a really old fence around, but it's like just a metal fence. It's not a very good fence like barbed wire yeah maybe if we got like chickens or something we could use it to we're thinking about getting chickens but we could put chicken wire around the barbed wire fence to keep them in or something oh is she are you a prepper are you a prepper look at flat earther prepper look at are you a prepper? Are you a prepper? Look at flat earther prepper. Look at, are you a prepper? Um, my husband,

Hey, I have a, I prepped something. I have a, I have like a hundred pounds of rice. That's all I prepped. Yeah. We have. Yeah.

What gave it away that I'm a prepper? Cause we shoot guns. Yeah. You believe in God. You shoot guns. You didn't take the injection you're fucking crazy you're fucking out of your mind yeah you you you haven't been to space you're not a no at all i mean you're all you're all you're all fucked up hey uh i'm go ahead what oh Oh nothing Thank you for coming on

You're wonderful Tell your husband thanks for letting us The world share a little time with his amazing wife Look forward to watching you compete at the games And your husband got your coaches pass? Yeah Awesome Okay I think I asked that

Awesome Alright dear I hope our paths cross i look forward to meeting you and your husband in person yeah for sure thanks for having me on all right yep anytime okay see you bye 47 minute what that's good? 47 minutes? That was good. She's C.K. Kevin. Yeah, the guy with the guns like, she's awesome. I like a girl who shoots it.

She shoots it night and during the day. Oh, my God, I didn't even ask her about her coffee. Sevan didn't even prep his own coffee. Jesus, promote. Stupid. That is her favorite coffee, Paper Street Coffee. I wonder if she'll come back on. This morning?

I'll say that. I made coffee, and I started drinking it too early and i spat it all over my keyboard at work what does that mean you drank it too early like you like you didn't prep your esophagus and it just it went down the wrong pipe it was like boiling hot oh oh so now my tongue is burnt and my keyboard is shorted it did short your it was enough to short your keyboard it was like fucked up like the f doesn't work anymore was it paper street coffee i didn't i thought that was one of the things it says on my bag here on my ceo blend it says on the back uh special qualities of this coffee, if you spit it out on electronics, it will not short it. Government products, though.

Oh, okay. It's a little more fragile. Travis even queued it up for me from Vindicate, even queued it up to, he's like, ask her what her favorite coffee is. Son of a bitch, I fucked up. Sorry, Gabe. Shit.

I got in some talk, and I should have told her if she ever has a baby go to birth fit there's probably there's probably a lot of fucking preppers over there birth fit people like they believe in crazy shit at birth fit like vaginal births what i know What? I know. They're old school. Oh, my goodness. Okay, I don't think she liked the Democrat pedophile comment.

Oh, really? I thought she was fine with that. What did you think? She's pretty cool with all of it. Yeah, I think she's pretty cool with it, too. She's too hot. Yeah, she might be too hot. She is. If there is too she's too hot yeah she might be too hot if there is yeah too hot if she

oh she's too hot and the coffee's too hot but i ask you missed it i know i know fuck the thing is the problem with her is is she's hot and she's cool so it's kind of it's she pushes like you know like you could meet a six and she's cool and she's a nine it's the crazy hot scale she's like in the unicorn scale oh area like she wants chickens and she's hot she goes shooting at night and she's hot right and she's fit as fuck uh did you ask travis about bpc one five who's uh hi sarah who's uh who's travis EPC 15. Hi, Sarah. Who's Travis? Oh, I think Vindicate Travis. Oh, he did?

I think so. I started using my TB500 yesterday. What do you think? I think you're supposed to... I want to tell you something that I tried to do that I probably should not tell you. I only had one needle left last night.

Oh, no. Ah, shit. I knew I shouldn't have done it. And, uh... Yeah, I'd make a't have done it. I knew I shouldn't have done it. I'd make a great fucking heroin user. At least it was yours. Yeah. Travis is liking the BPC-157.

You're supposed to shoot the BPC and the TB-500 every night together. I only had one needle so after i sucked up the after i sucked up the bpc 157 i stuck it into the vial with the tb 500 and i tried to suck some of that in there that's okay you think that's okay? Yeah, for sure. All right. That's how, I mean, that's how you reconstitute things normally. Oh, you just, it comes like the way doctors get it. There's like enough powder just in a needle and you just pull in liquid and it constitutes it right there for the client, the patient? Yeah, something like that. Really?

So at the hospital, you might have a needle with a prescription drug in it that's powder, and then you just suck liquid into it, and that's what reconstitutes it? Usually vice versa. I have like a vial of liquid, and then I put it into a vial of powder. Okay, yeah, that's what I do. Oh, yeah, and yes, you can mix. I know, but with the same needle? Well, doesn't it come in the same file anyway? Like they have one that you can buy together? I don't know. That's not what came in mine, though.

Mine are separate, I think. Just put everything into a shaker. Tank Reef, Stevon, fuck all that garbage and just hit 125 milligrams of test a week. Blade, BPC, day three. Oh, Blade, I meant to text you yesterday. So yesterday I did 10 negative muscle-ups just to test it out. Seemed good.

Rode the salt bike for 10 calories, jumped up on some rings, and just lowered as slow as I could through. Seems all – I mix three together. In the same needle, just from going to plunger to plunger to plunger, just sucking in more. Yeah, please. Send me everything. Send me the EPO.

Send me one of everything. I'm like someone who started like smoking cigarettes and wants to try every brand now I'm out of fucking control tomorrow's gonna be wild so it looks like someone from Asia didn't get a visa and I think it's the Iranian guy It looks like someone from Asia didn't get a visa.

And I think it's the Iranian guy. But Aunt Haynes has been sent a request if he wants to come to the game. So I sent him a request asking him if he would come on the podcast. So we have that going. And I'm not sure if it's – think it's the iranian guy but maybe it's seminar some someone's someone's not coming to the games that was originally going to come so um so there's that news uh tomorrow morning spencer pancheck oh and then the jelly hosta guy that's okay here we go aunt haynes for those who are asking about drug athletes popping what happened this is all i know okay so no one. I think it's just someone's having a Middle Eastern guy's having a visa issue.

Go figure. And so then this dude's been invited, this Anne Haines dude. And I heard he's fucking dope. I've never met him, but I heard he's awesome. So I quickly reached out to him. So maybe we'll get him on. Tomorrow we have Spencer and then Jelly. I better research research jelly tonight i think jelly is going to be a handful grape or strawberry uh but a mixture he plunged both both both tubs he hey i do that with my

knife i go from peanut butter to jelly i don't i mix that i don't care yeah yeah um then uh in the evening is gonna you want to watch a fucking train wreck arthur semenoff is coming on at 6 30 with a translator i can't wait for that that is gonna be hard that's gonna be like watching paint dry you think so dude i talk then then the then the translator says it to him in Russian, and then that guy says it in Russian back to the translator, and the translator then says to me. I won't be able to tell any jokes.

I won't be like, my shit's going to be all fucked up. There'll be no talking about cock and balls or tits or COVID or nothing. There'll be no talking about like cock and balls or tits or COVID or nothing. Like there'll be no, no, no flattered shit. Fucking Jake Chapman will be in the chat. Tell him to say,

get in the chopper. I'll be like, dude, I'm fucking, I can't even fucking talk to this dude. You want me to tell him to say, get in the chopper. Oh my God. i spoke to i had a long talk with brian today for an hour i'd rather talk to brian i can't believe i had an hour for someone

today listen everyone is trying to fucking get in touch with me or like fucking with me like i'm interviewing four athletes a day and trying to do research on them and trying to fucking do what i really want to do is just party with my boys. Then after Arthur Seminoff, thank God, then it's Kelly Baker. Yeah. Yeah. What? It's like deal with this.

And then for a reward on the other side, you get Kelly Baker. It's dope. I'm here for it. So I'll make it through Seminoff. And then in the morning, it's fucking it's a party ariel lowen fucking just she's great she'll have a ton of shit to share and then shelby neal the redheaded girl she's cool shit who doesn't love a redhead and then in the evening the crossfit games update show there's two there's two workouts announced shit i didn't even ask um uh christine kFit Games update showed there's two workouts announced. Shit, I didn't even ask Christine Kolenbrander about that.

Two workouts announced, right? Basically some form of Helen. I'll go with, let's say, Fat Helen, like Hiller said. And then we got a 5K run. So, there's that. Bring your own translator to the show he's he's bringing um uh he's bringing who's the other russian dude who's who's really good oh caleb froze roman yeah roman yeah she's bringing a roman's he's semenov's bringing Roman's... Seminoff's bringing Roman's translator, I think. I heard she's a great translator, though.

I heard she's great, too. Everyone I know who's dealt with Roman and her says she's dope. I don't know. Can you bring up the 5K, Caleb? What's going on with 5K? We'll see what's going on. I think it's working. BPC day eight.

Oh, cool. Well, shit. Tyler... Just Tyler. so we'll see what's going on i think it's working bpc day eight oh cool well shit tyler just tyler that's from facebook yeah that's cool right someone's using someone's using um does she crossfit shelby neal i think so oh oh uh the translator oh and she's hot yeah i think she might be hot i cannot lie someone also said that she's cool and she's hot uh crossfit games um uh individual team age group and adaptive athlete so i think that's everyone oh how the fuck is uh who's the guy who listens to this show who we've had on as a guest? How is he going to do the 5K?

He's not running the 5K. Oh, true. Oh, you know what? What's that dude's name? Jedediah. Jedediah Nelson. Yeah, he's not running it. He's not running a cross-country 5K.

But you get to see him on the best machine ever. Oh, lower extremity athletes will complete a 5K skier. I'm so sorry, Jedediah. Fuck. Oh, man. Hey, we need to get him on before the games, too. Skier, son.

Stupid, Sousa. Stupid. Hey, let me read a little bit more of that. Stupid hand bike how about hand job what if they did with their wheelchairs top athletes from around the world

will compete for the title of fittest on earth oh yeah there's these three guys sleeping in a bed together. And, you know, one, two, three. And guy number one says, dude, I had the fuck, they woke up in the morning. Guy number one's like, dude, I had the craziest dream last night.

The other two are like, yeah. And he's like, yeah. It was this chick and she was just fucking the shit out of me. It was crazy craziest dream ever guy number three's like dude looks over guy number two's in the middle guy number three looks over and goes holy shit i had a crazy dream too he's like what he's like i just was just getting this hummer that was insane this crazy blow jobjob. From a tranny. This is a DEI joke.

From a tranny. And they're like, no shit. Oh, shoot. Jeremy World's like, Stefan's getting old. He's told this story. But it wasn't a tranny last time. And the guy in the middle is like, no shit.

Oh, I had a dream I was skiing down the Swiss Alps. Have you heard that one before? Yes. No, thank you for laughing. Hey, that's a skier joke. It's a skier DEI joke. All-encompassing reason to hate the skier. The SkiErg DEI joke.

All-encompassing reason to hate the SkiErg. I only know like five jokes that I'm comfortable telling. That's one of them. That's like one of the clean jokes. Seve had that dream when he was sharing a bed between Glassman and Rich Browning. And so what? We never, you know what we never got? Now is not the time. But Jeremy, we never got closure to your dating story.

After the games, that should be our treat. We should get like, what happened? Did you give her a farewell? You know, fucking bang, bang, bang. You know, like, what was the, what was? Did you give her a farewell, you know, fucking bang, bang, bang, you know? Like, what was the, what was the, yeah. What was the straw that broke the camel's back? It'd be fine to know what happened to the liberal girl. I turn 55 tomorrow and I don't reuse as much dialogue as Sevan.

Reuse. That's, that's nice of you. Just call it that reuse. I'm going to ask my wife that if I say the same woman, I'll ask my wife right now. Do I say a lot of the same shit over and over and over? Let's find out what she's,

what she's doing. Oh, someone called this phone today. During the show? No, from San Diego. It's weird that this show doesn't get any... What's that called? Spam calls?

What are those calls called? Oh, you can hear that? Yeah. Why does it sound like I'm calling an international number? Doesn't it sound like that? Yeah, I don't... Yeah. Yeah. Has my phone... Has my wife's phone been hijacked by a fucking psycho? That was weird.

Jesus, that was weird jesus that was creepy let's see if she answers what am i asking her? If I reuse dialogue? Yeah. Oh, shit. Look, there's Trish. Trish, what... Hello, you've reached Kaylee. Leave a message. Thanks.

At the tone. Trish, what's up? Where you been? I'm gathering stories from people who identified as homeless. I'm trying to scare Artemis straight. She just rolled into the chat and started shitting on us. Oh. Is that...

That's shitty. Mason, everyone knows that Armenians can seek refuge in any liquor store. My daddy's doing a liquor store. She just came in and said... Hi. What's up? Where you been what happened your fucking uterus prolapsed your your what happened what happened tell me uh sarah cox is sebon still a code for blood test

or Hiller either I think both oh look it even you know there you go someone's listening alright see you guys tomorrow Alright. See you guys tomorrow. Who was it again? Spencer Panjik?

And then Jelly. And then I get to stress all fucking day about Semenov. And if any of you are wondering, yeah, I'm going to be completely stressed out to the max. And then you get the great relief finishing with Kelly Baker. God, that sucks about the COVID thing and Christine. Yeah, it does. What does this mean?

I'm getting games ready. No one else can manage this Talbots like I can. What's a Talbots? It's like a clothing store, I think. Where she shops. Or I guess maybe she owns it. Or I guess maybe she owns it. Everyone's been invited.

Every single individual games athlete has been invited. It's done. And a bunch of coaches. If you hear any athletes say that they haven't been invited, or if you want an athlete to come on, just go over and hit them up in their DMs and tell them, get your ass on. If't want them to come on just be like hey please don't come on either way it's up to you but they've all been invited there will not be room for everybody and whatever house I'm building.

That is the truth. That's not up to me. Those are just the laws of fucking physics, I guess. The house will not be big enough. Sevan is inclusive as fuck. Yes, thank you. So, you know, I don't know.

I'm open to anyone can come in the house, but the house is not big enough for everyone and it won't be my fault. I'm not taking responsibility for who doesn't get in. If you understand that metaphor,

great. If you don't, great. I don't give a fuck, but just know the house isn't big enough so get in where you fit in love you guys see you tomorrow spencer pancheck jelly host a seminar and uh the newest addition to the sebon podcast great guests kelly baker last but not least

tomorrow night bye