The Sevan Podcast - CrossFit Games Update Show // BREAKING NEWS 2025 SEASON DETAILS

Episode Date: November 24, 2024

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So this episode of the CrossFit Games Update Show is gonna be brought to you by Shut Up and Scribble. The gracious master, the gracious father, the gracious leader of our ever so dedicated cohort, dedicated to what you may ask, well, to CrossFit, to saving the world from chronic disease. That's what we are dedicated to. Our gracious leader has allowed me and JR

to break this news to you guys and to have a little fun today. So we are just going to get right into it. I'm gonna talk about some things that probably JR might not want to be around for. And we're going to start with Mike Halpin. We're going to start with a little bit of, we're going to start a little bit raw. We're going to get a little raw doggy here.

I'm about to give Mike Halpin a colonoscopy with my dick here for a second. And before you guys get too worried, don't worry. I'm not going to say anything crazy. Like you you know, I'm about to butt fuck help and I'm not going to say anything untrue. But I am going to talk about today and what's kind of gone down. What's gone down today is there's been an affiliate town hall surrounding the new 2025 CrossFit game season, the updates that we've all been waiting for, that we're all so excited to hear about. How amazing these updates are going to be for the year. And what do we get to start this whole new story as Mike Halpin being a little baby back bitch again. This is Mike Halpin's Instagram,

as you guys can probably tell, known underscore noble. He says, hi at CrossFit affiliates. I've joined every other affiliate owner call for the past year as a coach at my affiliate. The affiliate toolkit allows owners and coaches to join. And I registered very clearly as Mike Halpin coach from CrossFit Fairfield, you cook kicked me out of this one twice.

Why? Well, let's start with this, Mike Halpin. First off, the affiliate town hall is for owners and coaches. It's not for third party news sources. It's not for you to join this call, not as a coach or an owner, but as known and noble, the Instagram page, so that you can break early news

for the benefit of your own brand. That's actually not what the town hall is for you dumb motherfucker what did I miss who are we talking about and we're talking about Michael Hoppin bro hold on let me fix my audio I've got you coming through my Mac mini and now say something are we talking about what happened today there was big news that. Got you coming in loud and clear. Wait, say something again. There was big news today? Yeah, big news. 20, 25 seasons breaking news. But let me just get through it. Okay. So complaining about being kicked out of the affiliate town hall because you were a coach. Well, first off, the affiliate toolkits for affiliate

owners. That call was for affiliate owners, not for coaches. Andy didn't invite me onto that call and I'm his head coach. Um, if you got invited onto that call, great as a coach, great. But you know what, Mike, you don't use the information you gleaned from these town halls as a coach. You use it as an independent third party news outlet and for the development and the further of the furtherment of your own fucking brand you piece of shit asshole. Fuck you're such an asshole dude already.

No one likes you. You don't say anything bad about anyone and no one likes you. Meanwhile I'm telling people they're going to get butt fucked and half the people hate me but at least some people love me. You know what Mike everyone hates you Just get the fuck out of here. Let me also say this. It's very interesting to note that when me and JR, we were at the games this year doing shut up and scribble and after the Lazar Dukic tragedy happened, we went live to break news.

Everyone was emotional. It was a horrible fucking incident, but a lot of people, a lot of people made a claim that we were exploiting the situation just for clout, just to further our brand or gain traction or gain followers or whatever. You know who hasn't talked about the Lazar thing over the past three months? Me or JR. You know who has only talked about the Lazar thing? In fact, hey, if you want to get reposted by Mike Alpin, just say something about Lazar Jukic and tag him and he's going to fucking repost you. Go look at his Instagram page and see what the first pinned post is.

All this guy has done is ride Lazar Jukic's death to fucking fame and success. No one fucking likes you for it, Mike. Gosh. He's putting his affiliate at risk by joining these affiliate town halls and exploiting the information he learns there for his own personal gain. I would be fucking shocked

if Keith Knapp didn't lose his fucking affiliation because you're acting like a stupid asshole. This is un fucking believable. Anyways, so Mike Halpin, known and noble, the king of ambulance chasers. I actually think he played Jake Gyllenhaal in that movie Nightcrawler. Is it? Yeah, I think that was you. I think that was you, bro.

Anyways, I figured I'd leave with that for fucking ass pounding helping. Did you send me the link late on purpose? Um, no, I thought I sent to you on top, you must be in a bad perception. But I did say I wanted to get through all this before you got on so that I didn't you know, diminish that makes sense. You're clean, sheen of armor. Anyway, just to finish you guys, it's people ask, oh, why did Taylor and Halpen have beef? Well, I don't actually think Halpen has any beef with me other than the fact that I dislike him so much. And I would just ask yourself, I mean, maybe you have asked yourself why I dislike him so much, but I think most of that's already out in the air.

He's a media, he's manipulative. He uses things for personal gain. Um, and he actually doesn't know shit about fuck. So see a douchebag. I hope I never come across you again. All right. Now here to talk about the 2025 CrossFit Games season. So excited to get through this.

I'm going to share the screen and here we go. Get ready for the 2025 CrossFit Games season. All right, let's get started. The 2025 CrossFit Games season is just around the corner. More than ever, we are committed to making the sport of CrossFit accessible to athletes around the world across all divisions. What do you think that means, JR? As if it wasn't accessible before? Do you think it wasn't? No, I think when we get to some of the details, they'll paint this picture a little bit more clearly about how they're giving everyone an opportunity to compete multiple times throughout the season.

everyone an opportunity to compete multiple times throughout the season. Yes, Dills. You can sign up for Sentinel and WPTH. In fact, it would probably be the best bang for your fitness buck that you could possibly do for the rest of your life. You'd be the fittest person you could possibly be. Sign up for WPTH. Send JR Venmo of $100 right now and you'll get access for, I don't know what, six months of beta testing. Uh, there is no beta test. See, we, we don't, we don't, we don't plan ahead. Like, like Sentinel does, we just, uh, we just, we just release and hope that it, hope it hits only betas do beta tests.

So, you know, if that says anything, um, but yeah, WPTH is not, um, I would say a competing entity with Sentinel Sentinel does 60 track does competitive track WPTH is base programming is just the CrossFit crash programming that I've been posting online for years Olivia wants to have fellatio with your voice not really sure what that means, but Hey guys, we've got some exciting

things coming down the pipe, not just for the 2025 CrossFit game season, uh, announcement, but just coming down the pipe. So you guys be on the lookout for the month of December. Um, wow, we got some sick things coming. Okay. And I'm not even sure Jay, I've told JR about them, but they're going to be sick. He's going to love them. Okay. So we're making a few changes to in 2025 to give our CrossFit community more chances to participate and to provide more opportunities for our elite athletes to qualify and compete more opportunities to qualify and compete. Let's be very specific about remembering more opportunities to qualify and compete. Okay. We also remain committed to improving the competition experience for our

dedicated masters, teenage and adaptive athletes with deeper partnerships with our supporting organizations, a few key changes we're excited about. We're introducing a new competition, the community cup. So more people can join in the fun and compete at their local affiliates. I'm very keen to understand a little bit more about that. The community cup. We're moving to a three stage season for all divisions to make the path to the games clearer.

Open semi-finals games. Hmm. Sounds like exactly what Pedro told us for, I don't know, the past two months. Wow. Open game shows and on drunk announcements. Dude, Peter has, I think actually they got the games format from Peter's drunk announcements. OK, we'll be streamlining the elite

competition calendar and bringing one games qualifying option into affiliates with the in affiliate semiffinals where athletes will be expected to record and submit the results with enhanced judging protocols. I like that a lot, enhanced judging protocols. I also really like in affiliate. I think that's critical. In affiliate. Did you see somewhere where it mentioned? I saw somewhere where it mentioned the games prize purse would come from open registrations. I think I remember seeing that or reading that hearing that. Where was that?

It's okay. Well anyways, wait, let's infer if I'm if I'm wrong, somebody unfuck me in the comments. But to my knowledge, the CrossFit Games Prize purse comes from open registrations. And how fucking hilarious in a beautifully ironic turn of events does the fucking PFAA and all these asshole athletes who have just been doing nothing but taking shots at Dave and CrossFit and pulling their britches down and trying to take steaming shits on CrossFit, Inc. and LLC. How beautiful this turn of events is that now it's been revealed that open registrations actually pay for their fucking games.

Dude, how dumb could you be as an athlete to want to turn everything on its head and to destroy really the affiliates by killing the brand, booting Dave out by fucking crossfit over you're only shooting your stupid selves in the foot Wow, I'm really passionate about that. I mean I would have to I would have to say to to that point that If I'm playing devil's advocate aka Tyler Watkins Cuz I'll do that to do if you're someone that Uh, cause that's what you have to do.

If you're someone that. Isn't the PFA or you're someone that has demanded change or you're someone that wants to see things change is your way of doing that basically just saying, Hey, we're not going to be around to compete. We're going to compete in other things or we're going to try to come try to form our own things. So if this is what happens, this is what happens. It's not going gonna bother us. Yeah, that's hilarious.

Like, do you think they said that? Like, do you think they did that knowing, hey, this might happen? They may just end up saying, okay, cool, if you don't wanna push the open, if you don't wanna really support the grassroots of CrossFit the sport, which is the affiliates, then like, yeah, if they just make us basically

get our prize purse from the open, it won't matter anyway, because we're not going to be around to do that competitive track, that competitive season. Yeah, see, that's one, I think that's a bad approach because no other competitions have anything like the open to fund a prize purse. So A, if you're a top athlete who's doing that, you're making much less money. Maybe you don't care because you have huge sponsorships, but B, and what's really important, if you're a PFAA member and you're doing this for the betterment of the sport and all other athletes, fucking five of you make a living wage off competing. Five of you, maybe. The rest don't make a fucking cent. They don't make jack fucking shit and you're ruining it for them.

You're taking away from the big competition that pays the most where athletes get the most exposure to potentially have brand deals. You're taking that away from them because you don't like it. Fuck, it's so dumb. Dana M. Taylor, I'm on week three of your strict pull-up program. Double heart. Thank you, Dana. I hope it's going amazing. Hope you're killing it. Sick program. If you guys are interested in that, go to our website. But, um, Oh, Tristan Harrison, fellatio on a female is called Cunnilingus Taylor. Uh, and then he goes to say, just expanding your vocabulary for future. Tristan, we do not need him to found that, uh, syntax and God, it's like I railed a line

of coke today. This is crazy. Don't drug test me before the open. You're not going to find a disclaimer. I haven't, I haven't spoken to Taylor all day. I actually thought maybe he forgot about the show and I was getting ready to prepare myself to just be in front of the camera and not put everyone to sleep for 45 minutes. Alas, here we are pounding. Well, here's the deal, bro. As soon as I saw the Mike Alpin post, I went from working on menial tasks and like, all right, I got this podcast at five minutes to full ass pound mode. He is like a smelling salt for you. Dude, I wouldn't even say he's like a smelling salt.

I would say he's like, you stand up from the toilet a little bit too early and a little bit of shit gets on the floor. We digress. Let's go back to the announcements. All right. So we got open semifinals games. When is the open? When is the open? Let's see. Open. 25.1. Is February 27th a Thursday? I'm sure it is. Yeah. Okay. 25.1 12 PM Pacific standard time, February 27th, March 6th, March 13th. Open registration begins on January 15th. So about the same

time as last year, I believe it was February 28th last year was the first day of the open. Yeah. And I want to say maybe they opened up open registration really early, like maybe the first of the year or maybe even December. Oh age group in affiliate. Sorry, it adds a little bit. So let's make this clear. We have the open. Right. And then we have semi-finals in affiliate means online. Yeah, in affiliate means online and also, okay, more details, season structure by division. I'm going to click on this. Okay. Once again, everyone starts. Okay, this is okay. Here we go. Everyone starts in the open new in 2025 the top 1% Of individual athletes will advance the second stage. That would be the in-person affiliate

semifinal or sorry online affiliate semifinal and or in-person qualifying events still not really sure what that is about I'm assuming the in-affiliate semifinals and or the in-person qualifying events. Still not really sure what that is about. I'm assuming the in affiliate semi-finals and or the in-person qualifying events makes it more accessible potentially for elite athletes around the globe and offers more opportunities. Well, let's see where we were before more. Where is this at? Where did I see that? I think it's in the first paragraph. Provide more opportunities for elite athletes to qualify and compete.

Provide more opportunities to qualify and compete. Okay. They've definitely provided more opportunities to compete, I would say, so far, but they definitely, if this is true, 30 men and 30 women will advance the 25 CrossFit Games for World Crown the F fittest. They have not, uh, provided more opportunities to qualify. They've provided actually specifically less. Well, I would say that there are more opportunities in that your whole season

doesn't revolve around just the online semifinals and your whole season doesn't just rely on an in-person weekend. It can be either, but there's quite literally compete twice is what I'm saying, but there's quite literally less opportunities to qualify. Okay. We're just using that word differently, but I guess I see what you're saying, but you also have to see what I'm saying. Yeah.

Your, your, uh, chances are now lessened because the field has dropped by 25%. Your opportunities to qualify has doubled. It's gone from one to two. There are two ways that you lessened because the field is dropped by 25% your opportunities to qualify has doubled It's gone from one to two There are two ways that you can that you can qualify in person or online It says it says minimum of 30, but here it says 30 men and 30 women So I wouldn't get too twisted. Let's see barbell spin Will you let us know if?

Potentially more than 30 will qualify just unsure David weeds in the comments if you guys are looking for anyone to butt fuck. He's a he's open and taking Rear end receptacles. So you think that's what Dave David looks like. I've never actually seen his Not what he looks like dude. That's definitely not what he looks like. He has blue hair. He's got about 37 extra pounds of visceral adipose tissue. He sits in his tighty-whities on his beanbag chair and he eats fucking cheese puffs while I make stupid comments.

All right, let's reread the first bullet point. Everyone starts in the open. New in 2025, the top 1% of individual athletes will advance to the second stage with opportunities to be virtual and or in person. So there are two ways you can get to the games but only the top one percent is going to be allowed to compete in person. I think a lot of the rumors were saying yeah there's going to be some qualification spots via online semis, there are going to be some qualification spots via in person

competitions. We now know those competitions are not run by CrossFit, so we can get into what that might mean. But we also know that to compete in person, you still have to be the cream of the crop. So you're not gonna be able to miss out on the top 1% for online semis, but still get to go in person and compete. It's the same pool of athletes,

which I think is really cool, but I also have questions. Maybe we can get Spinner or someone to run some numbers. What is the top 1% if we go off of last year's open registration, or if we decrease it by 50,000 people, what's the top 1% how many people is that? And are there enough spots to go around where all those people could actually compete in person? Will those, will those competitions also have online qualifiers? Like how will that work?

That's, that's the big question I have when I was initially hearing rumblings of this is how are people gonna qualify for that? Do you think they're just gonna take their placement in the open and say hey you guys were but beneath this cut line you're eligible to register and Registration fills up whatever and you can kind of just pick and choose which event you go to and you can maybe Even you know peep the leaderboard and say hey,, this is going to look like a really weak competition. My best odds for qualifying are there. I'm going to register and go there.

Um, I think that's a lot of that happened in the 2019 sanctionals or was that 2019? Yeah, 2019. Yeah. Um, yeah, it'll be really interesting to see when these competitions are happening because based on, I think you had it pulled up, maybe it's a little bit lower, but we have the in-affiliate semi-final, May 1st through the 4th. Then we have the in-person, it just says April to June. So the online semi-final is right

in the middle of that window. So do you wanna roll the dice and compete early? And then say, okay cool, I don't have to do it online. Do you wanna wait and compete late? Do you like, cause those people that compete early, yeah you get your ticket punched, you don't have to worry about it anymore, you don't have to worry about online,

you don't have to do any of that. That's my question, so it's a little lower. Sorry, where is that? Right there, yeah, blue, blue and red. So look at individuals, the in-affili affiliate semi is May 1st to the 4th But the in-person events are starred in April and they go until June. Oh Wow, so you could potentially do an in-person event and wait and not even do the I guess so yeah, it's any final That's cool. I like that. I mean overall overall, I think it's, it's adding some excitement

for me. I think, you know, as much as I hate to say, okay, like quarter, you know, I don't know. I mean, I do kind of, I'm a bit bummed out for people who won't get to experience like, who aren't a semi-final level athlete, won't get to experience a more challenging level of competition like quarterfinals. But maybe that means that the open returns to being truly important and we get a little more zest, so to speak, in the open programming as compared to years past. What do you think there? Well, for it to be the top 1% and only to be three weeks, I mean, we've been talking

about for years, will they ever announce two workouts on a Thursday that you have to be the top 1% and only to be three weeks, I mean we've been talking about for years, will they ever announce two workouts on a Thursday that you have to be, that have to be done? Like it seems like it's not gonna be. It seems like we might get a point, we might get an A or a B and that's about it. So we'll get three weeks and maybe one of the weeks has two scores. But I don't see them just completely changing to,

yeah we're gonna announce two workouts for the affiliate to do over a four day period. I don't think them just completely changing to, yeah, we're gonna announce two workouts for the affiliate to do over a four day period. I don't think that's gonna happen. Interesting. But top 1% is tough. Yeah, but you still have to do the open though, so it does matter. The open definitely does matter.

This is not a form of competition where you just suddenly don't have to do the open. I like that, and I like that it matters in the sense that you have to be top 1% to advance or be eligible for the in affiliate semifinal potentially for you to have to be eligible for the in person events, which are TBD it seems. New and 22, I have a recognizing multiple premier events around the world as official

qualifiers, giving our athletes more places and more time to qualify. We talked about that a little bit. New pairs competition, bro. Should we strap it up? Jr. Pretty sure brand new in-person competition for pairs, individual and masters athletes who compete in the open can partner with another athlete from anywhere in the world.

Both partners will use their open scores to qualify. The top pairs will then qualify for an in-person competition hosted by master's fitness championship. Does it say same sex though? I don't see that in your, or, or if it's coed, no, I will not be competing with you or without you. Wow. That's fucked up. Um, okay guys, this is critical.

We're looking forward to seeing the strength of our community at every stage in the 2025 CrossFit Games season. Let's not forget, this isn't about LLC. This isn't about the company. This is about our community and coming together, measuring our fitness, growing stronger together, having fun, getting your first muscle up, accomplishing things you never thought you could do.

I'm 100% registering for the open. I hope you guys are going to register for the open. I'm definitely not making a games run. I'm actually, my goal is to fucking make America healthy again, baby. That's my only goal for this year. Let's get it. You mentioned earlier about competing entities not having anything like the Open. And the Open is the, it's the cast the broadest net

and it's the biggest online qualification competition in the world. Do you think that the World Fitness Project, other maybe competing circuits that are giving athletes another opportunity to compete at fitness and not do the CrossFit Games season, do you think they're gonna have something huge like that or do you think it'll just be an online qualifier

just like these other smaller competitions do? I don't know. I would find it really hard to believe that any other event could garner the attention, investment, traction that the Open does. And I just find it laughable. I find it laughable that these athletes think they are so important as to say

that the games is all about them. I just find it so fucking laughable. And it's just, again, to reiterate, it hurts to know that the athletes really believe that the only thing that matters is them and what they want and how they don't see how built off of the backs of the affiliate that they are, that their brand is, that the money that they make is, that even the fucking companies that pay them and sponsor them are built off the backs of affiliates.

Hey guys, who do you think your fucking followers are? Those are the people who are in the affiliates who are buying the products of the companies that sponsor you and If you lose touch with them, they stop buying your shit and you stop getting sponsored So no, I just don't believe that whatever the world fuckhead association, whatever competition they're trying to create is going to be a match for the open. It just doesn't, unless every affiliate in the world gets on board is like, Hey, this is going to be our new benchmark test of fitness that we're going to do together as a community. Irrelevant.

That's the great thing about the open. The great thing about the open is you can say, Hey, I've been working my butt off for the past year. Last year I was 27,381st place, but I got my muscle up. I PR'd my power clean and this year I'm 21,000th amongst every CrossFitter in the world. I can measure my improvement. It is literally built off the methodology of observable, measurable, repeatableable testing your fitness. It's just like oh And dude and someone asking me oh, so you're not making where was this where was this Jonathan or take it. Oh, so no games run this season Taylor why that's why La la la la la Jonathan Ortega. Oh, so no games run this season Taylor. Why? That's why

The athletes around this like so many of them are such a fucking just drag to be around like dude You're such a fucking drag. All you care about is your fucking your fucking Redmond relight salt and you're fucking you know, whatever Mobility products dude, there's like shut up shut up shut out the Redman salt I'm a big user of relight I yeah relights pretty sick so I probably shouldn't have used them actually that's all Bryson buys and I and I exclusively only use his shit I do like my favorite mouth of Dextran lace company element I love element but I do like relight too And I wasn't addressing any Relight athletes specifically. That was just the first brand that came to mind.

Hey, but hey, just to break you off a little bit. This really, this is an opportunity though. There have been people more outspoken than others. There have been people that are maybe like, hey, let me just wait and kind of see what happens with the season as we get closer. Let me let my emotions settle a little bit from the games, all that kind of stuff. This is an opportunity for people to literally put their money where their mouth is, right? And if you're not about it and you don't sign up for it, hey, you just don't do it.

You pick something else to compete at, you wait for other competitions, and it'll be interesting to see with these announcements, not only the open funding of the game's purse, but just in general, this season structure, knowing there's going to be more opportunities to compete, knowing these other circuits, you would say, of competitions are going to be around or getting started. Hey, here's your opportunity now. If you, if you want to be one of those people that are like, Hey, I'm not

going to continue to support it. We're going to see, because if you end up signing up for the open and you're one of those people that said you weren't going to support it anymore, I mean, I'm not going to continue to support it. We're going to see, because if you end up signing up for the open and you're one of those people that said you weren't going to support it anymore, I mean, I hate to say this, but it kind of puts a bullseye on your back. Yeah. And I, and I really have to say this, like so many athletes have taken the allure and the prestige away from the games. In my opinion.

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Eats now. For alcohol, you must be legal drinking age. Please enjoy responsibly. Product availability varies by region. See app for details. Remedying the destruction and the havoc that's been fucking laid at their feet by people like the PFAA and Brent and fucking Fikowski and all these other athletes who have just done nothing. Why is it on them to try to fix anything?

It's not on them. What I'm saying is like, hey dude, the allure is gone because all these people before you who were at one point great and we looked up to have just turned their back and fucking shot on the thing that you have yet to build your platform on. Like those guys are still on the up and coming, right? Okay. You know, James won the games down on podium. So we know they're good, but just look at their Instagram followers, dude. Those three athletes are way fucking better than Pat, or at this point, Scott Panachik,

and all these other guys, way fitter than Rich Froning is right now. But they have none of the brand because those athletes who have the brand and are now turning their back on it and taking a dump on it, it's just making it so much harder than all these younger guys.

And again, the allure and the prestige, it's fucking gone because guys like these just wanna fucking take a fat steaming dump. So I'm not saying it's on Dallin and Jason and James, but I'm saying they're making their job way fucking harder. Their job of saying, hey, I want an audience that's invested is way harder because now you have people

who already have an invested audience shitting on their invested audience. Imagine being an affiliate owner and your favorite athletes, Pat Thelner, and he's advocating for someone who basically puts members in your gym, Dave Castro to be fucking fired. Imagine that dude. I mean, that's just crazy talk. You're an affiliate of CrossFit because you know that people like Dave and people like Nicole are still at the helm and you have some modicum of leadership there that is pushing the methodology that knows that your affiliates a lifeboat for

chronic against chronic disease. And you have guys like Pat and Brent basically wanting fucking retards like Patrick Clark and Brian Friend to now run the games. What do these guys give a fuck about the affiliate? It's crazy talk. Yeah, I think in some respects, you know, we have to go off of the statement released by the PFA, but there are also situations in you know, this too, where there might be a group of 10 of us and we might say, Hey, how want to address this and three of us might say certain thing and seven

might say something else and be like okay cool well the seven of us are going to overrule you guys we're going to say it. So until I hear from people's mouths specifically that are involved in the PFA yep I'm one of the people that just thinks that he needs to be out of here I'm not going to assume who thinks that and who doesn't until I hear it myself. Also though, I will say this. I've been told this a lot lately that when you don't say anything, it really says a lot. So my question is this. If there are young and up and coming athletes, if there are more seasoned veterans that are more established, when those people don't wanna come forward and be one of the people in the leadership position

of the PFA or be involved, doesn't that speak volumes to maybe that they just don't agree with what's coming out? And maybe they don't wanna be, maybe they're not confident enough, maybe they're not established enough to put their foot down and say, no, what you guys are doing are wrong and I don't agree with it. I'm going to let

everyone know that I disagree with it, but you're also not in support of it because you don't want to be in a part of it, in a leadership position on the board, et cetera. No, I don't think that's saying a lot. I think that saying nothing in this situation is just that, saying nothing. I'm not going to shame any of the athletes who sat back and said nothing, but I think there's, you have potential to say, okay, I don't agree with it. So I'm not going to say anything, but you're also kind of playing both sides of the fence and saying, well, if I don't say anything, I'm still good with this group. And if I don't say anything, I'm still good with that group. So I will say, can you blame them for that?

That's not what I would do. And I'll say this, the fact that I have, I don't know. I mean, if I were in their position, I would use an opportunity to stand up for the methodology and people like Dave and Nicole and them. I would take this opportunity to stand up for people who have given you a platform to build an audience, to make a living, to be an entrepreneur, to be a professional athlete. I would stand up for that. Um, and I wasn't, someone commented, it sounded like I was shitting on rich and Scott. I wasn't, I was saying, Hey, those guys have already built their platform.

They have their money. Scott's got an affiliate rich has mayhem and they still push CrossFit, but like they're out of the games competitive scene. Now you have these guys in the games competitive scene, like Brent and Pat who are shitting on it. That was my point. And these younger guys haven't built a brand like that. So they're getting hurt by this So they can't afford to is what you're saying It's right like some of them might feel that way, but they know that they're they're trying to still build their career

They're not they're not toward the end of it And they don't feel like they can actually step in and say how they really feel. They should. You should like, like people, you will build an audience being honest about how you feel. Um, and look, Pat and Brent had built their audience. People like Marcus Philly and Elizabeth Acomale and Jess Griffith and all these fucking assholes who want to go out and say, I made the games by never doing CrossFit and CrossFit beat my body up. I trained seven hours a day and ate peanut butter and jelly sandwiches according to CBG Nutrition because I was supposed to be eating refined carbohydrates and sugars to fuel my training and now I feel like shit and that's CrossFit's fault. You have people like that building their brand on taking a dump on CrossFit. Why don't you try another route?

Why don't you speak up for the methodology that saves people's fucking lives? The only one in fact in America that is actively or has been actively fighting tooth and fucking nail to save people's lives. It's just crazy. All right, hey, let's go back for a second to the top 1% because I have a huge question about moving on. I mean, think about when that open went straight to regionals and you knew there were people in your gym I have a huge question about moving on.

Think about when that open went straight to regionals. You knew there were people in your gym that didn't have great, let's just say... Dave, I'll send you my address. You do the open, your friend judges you, they give you some reps you probably shouldn't get away with, you don't get asked for video review on that workout, you submit one workout, and you move on to regionals. You get to regionals and you know that you're not going to move on. So it's just a bad look.

Now it's top 1% and now we have two online stages, so go for it. All right, I'm just also going to pull up the Instagram because apparently there's some fucking hot action going on in the comments. I got like 15 minutes. Okay. Okay. I got I got to get our network of affiliates are the heart and soul of what makes the CrossFit community strong. Hey, Pat, hey, Brent reread that buck tards our network of affiliates, not our top athletes. Once the open is complete, top athletes across divisions will complete a virtual semi-final within the affiliates. If I were a fucking affiliate,

I wouldn't allow any of those motherfuckers to compete in my gym. Fuck no, after the shit they pulled. The individual division athletes will also have the option to qualify for the games through in-person qualifying events. We're also committed to improving judging based on feedback we heard from our community. Look at that.

They're improving based on feedback from the community. Bravo. CrossFit's amazing. Our goal is for these changes to reduce previous challenges related to the number of penalties resulting from post-competition video reviews. To that end, and to ensure our athletes fairly and rigorously earn their ticket to the games, we're enhancing our judging protocols. For this stage of competition, judges will be required to hold a current CrossFit Level 1 certificate or higher. I guess that excludes most of those

fucking assholes on the podium. Pat, you can't judge anyone. You guys aren't even a part of CrossFit. But why should you be the L L ones dumb? Why should you be fucking assholes? Judges must also complete the 2025 judges course and a new advanced judges course, which will be released soon and will be valid for three years. Additionally, individual and age group athletes will be required to submit all workout videos for public review. Public review. Fuck, that's awesome. By anyone who was taking the judge's course, but it still will be a public video. By having

a more robust judging experience in the affiliate and public transparency for all videos, we will move the sport forward, let's go. Let Hiller eat. All right, so big things here. Let my dude eat. It appears as though, for the, especially for the in-affiliate, for the online semifinal, you're gonna have to hold

that advanced judging course certificate. So if Jason does his semi-final workouts here and he wants me to judge or he wants Liz to judge or he wants whoever to judge, that judge is gonna have to be someone that CrossFit Deems is able to judge an elite level competitor at speed. You're gonna have to have an L1 at least.

You're gonna have to have the standard judges course and the advanced judges course. Yeah. Um, well, I said I'm a hungry bitch. Let's go. Yeah. I think this is awesome. Um, stoked that they are placing an emphasis on the level one and understanding the methodology. Also, if you guys are watching just a heads up, we're going to be opening up the Sentinel Scholarship, which we gave away last August to a member of Sentinel Training. It's just a level one scholarship for free. You have to be a member of Sentinel, but we're going to be opening that application back up. And then we've got a

crazy giveaway coming soon too. Yeah. Hiller, is your level one still active? Because the way that it seems like is you wouldn't be in the public viewing pool of workouts unless you took the judges course and were active level one that's kind of the way I read it isn't it isn't the way you read it maybe I don't know I I read it as the videos will be public I think it just says will be public review for those that meet that judge's criteria. So like only you can only look at the videos if you are if you have met those criteria. This is ridiculous. I'm the only black member of Sentinel. First off, you're not even really fully black. You're half black and we have a way more black athletes than just you bro. So shut up. Oh, I'm taking it. He's taking

the L1 again. You're gonna do the online level one. I love it. Look at that's there you go. I don't know. What do you think thoughts? I mean, I think it's great that they, that they put that statement in this whole announcement. I think the fact that they've acknowledged that the judging has been an issue. I mean, obviously the whole step up debacle last year ended a lot of people's seasons. The line that people have to ride when they're trying to qualify is always really thin, but imagine how it's going to be when there's game spots on the line. So I think opening it up to the public, even if it's the public is a small group, I think is awesome. And the fact that they

are controlling that group to a really narrow group of people that do know movement that aren't just haters. Because think about how many people would go on one of your workouts that just don't like you and give you thumbs down. And then they'd review your videos and they'd be like, well, this guy moves fine. What's the deal? Oh, it's just because people don't like it. So I think it's good that at least they're going to have a pool of people reviewing that

do care about movement standard and upholding it. They're not just doing it just to go on and just be a troll. Crazy. All right. Well, it seems we've covered the year pretty well. The open should be very exciting. Maybe we will, maybe we will do some fun things for the open. Um, maybe we'll give you guys some fun things for the open. Maybe we'll give you guys some great content for the open. Some exciting content for the open.

Can we just go ahead and put it out there now? Are you going to do Taylor vs. The World in the open or in semis or anything? Are you now a broadcaster? Are you now a commentator, an analyst if you will? I also hate that you didn't even ask me this question privately. You're just trying to put me on blast. How's it feel?

It doesn't feel good. I don't ever put you on blast to the world, bro. I just talk shit about other people while you're present. Some would say that's the same thing. I'm definitely going to do the open. I'll put it that way. I'm 100% doing the open. And yeah. and if we can

manage a kill taylor or a taylor versus the world that would be sick because I want to just go so fucking hard in the open. I want to have like the open is fun. It's so much fun. You know it would be cool. You know it would be cool. It'd be hard to talk dad into it. Is if you guys moved kill taylor to like a Thursday right after an announcement and did it like that. We have been. You fuck right the fuck off. You little fuck. Colton said, don't be scared.

I'm not scared. That's why I'm a hundred percent doing the open. I just am not certain that I can commit the time that it takes to be prepared enough. the time that it takes to be prepared enough to put a full effort towards semi-finals when my number one focus 100% is Sentinel and coaching. But I still work out a lot and I love it. One weekend, dude. It's one weekend. Dude, it's not one weekend.

It's the fucking 51 weekends leading up to that one weekend. You queef. Same thing you did this past year though, and it worked out pretty well for you. It didn't work out well at all. I didn't make it. I would say 13th is still pretty good. It's not, it sucks ass. For not, for, for, for not trying. This is probably more true than anything. I just don't want the pressure. I also haven't been squatting at all because I don't, if it's my favorite movement, I love to squat, but it has not been feeling good. So I just haven't been squatting at all because I don't if it's my favorite movement I love to squat but it has not been feeling good. So I just haven't been doing it Other than like box squatting. So again, like we'll see I'm not gonna do anything that's gonna fucking hurt me But but I mean fit well, that's not true I would do that quarterfinals workout again even with the same result

So in that sense, I will hurt myself for sure, but I'm not gonna fucking you know give myself orthopedic calamity at the, uh, for your guys viewing pleasure. So I do think we should, we should probably talk about, I know we got the, I know we got the community cup, which is a, it's just an interesting idea. It's just giving people more of an opportunity to compete after the open, but let's, let's go to teams real quick because there is something pretty big in teams and I'm curious to know what your unbridled opinion is going to be about having a really, really fit gym. Because if we read the last bullet point, we'll start at the top.

Once again, everyone starts at the open. Affiliates can have as many teams as they want to compete in the open. New in 2025, all team athletes from their respective affiliates are eligible to compete in the in affiliate semifinals Alright all teams The top 20 affiliates worldwide will move on to the 2025 CrossFit Games an affiliate can only qualify one team per gym for the games So you can have as many teams as you want do semi-finals.

You can only have one team represent your affiliate at the CrossFit Games. I sent Jeremy a dick pic once, he tried to put his phone in his mouth, it's crazy. Okay, sorry. Yeah, that is nuts. I mean, that's gonna give you a lot of problems. You guys have like 12 teams you try to send

to the games for semi-finals, bro. You're gonna have to make them, you're gonna have to line them up like the fucking schoo try to send to the games or semifinals, bro. You're going to have to make them, you're going to have to line them up like the school yard and have team captains pick their players, bro. No, but like, here's the thing. Like think about, I mean, think about Oslo, geez, they have, they have freaking mayhem 12 teams at, at semifinals. Think about mayhem. It is the, is, is the barn an affiliate? Like you're going to have to, you're going to have to watch you're going to Pat changes profile. Pat Lange.

I'd rather watch Hiller jerk off Taylor than watch team. Hey, Invictus, sorry. I love you, Angelo. That wasn't directed at you. And I didn't say it. No, but like, honestly, you want to have the fittest gym you can have. So you're going to have to tell some of those teams, Hey, we can only send one of you to the games. Like I don't like, so that means that you can have as many teams

as you want to do semifinals. But only if you have five teams in the top 20 worldwide, make the games. Four of them don't go. Yeah. Yeah, that's crazy, bro. Um, put your best players on one team and that's it. I like it. I love it. Hey, I have a question for you. The verbiage of an affiliate semifinal. I don't think that's a mistake. I don't

think that's just them not wanting to say online. I think that's them saying you must complete semi-finals in a affiliate. Oh yeah, a hundred percent. That's not a mistake at all. I didn't even question that. So you just assume that. Yeah. Oh dude, if you're not affiliated and you're not one of those events, you don't get to host that for sure.

Reward the affiliates. Absolutely. I mean, it's where it's, hey, it's the heart and soul of the fucking community. All right, you better get out of here, dude, because I'm going back in. What? Oh, OK. Yeah. Right. See you. All right, guys. We just got one more thing to address here. Listen, OK, here we are. I just want you guys to note that

Mike Alpen gained 6,000 followers from the Lazar Jukic situation. Also important to note, and this is really important to note, to get into that affiliate town hall meeting, you have to pass a screen that asks you, are you the owner of that affiliate? Oh looks like he deleted it Oh, here we go

Here we are boom So he said he signed in and put his name is Mike helping coach from CrossFit Fairfield But then you had to click a screen that says you owned that affiliate So he's just a fucking liar Absolute fucking liar. You went onto your computer, tried to log into the affiliate town hall as a coach, you weren't supposed to be there unless you were the owner, so you clicked, I own Fairfield. That's a fucking lie.

You're a manipulative cunt What are you doing dude and now you post it on your Instagram story like hey look at the big bad crossfit Kicking me off of a meeting that I'm supposed to be in that I'm rightful to be in Dude you lied to get in there Why are you making a big deal out of this? This is the type of person Mike Albin is. He will lie, cheat, steal, twist and fucking pull hair and manipulate his way into a situation and then throw a fucking conniption when someone calls him out on it or puts him in his place. Jeez, it's fucking insanity, man. I don't get why he has look his only value to crossfit is Numbers on a fucking excel sheet. That's it

Literally the only thing he can do is assemble an excel sheet and post it and great someone else needs to interpret it Because he's dumber than fucking impossible to listen to the guy has zero personality. You can't understand a word he's saying. I wonder if he lied to the investigators. I wonder if he lied when he's, oh, he's been claiming, ooh, I spoke to third party investigators. Was that a lie? I wonder if that was a lie. I wonder if he did speak to third party investigators in order to speak to them. I wonder if he had to make a lie

similar to checking the I am the owner of CrossFit Fairfield. I wonder if he had to lie about that in order to get an audience with the third party investigators. And I wonder how much of an audience he would have gained over this whole process if he hadn't been the guy who said, ooh, I

spoke with the third party investigators. Listen to me. I have the full story. Crossfit can't be transparent, but I can be. How many lies do you have to fucking tell to get the full story, Mike? That's the real fucking question. Oh, classic classic. Look at this. He's got his little bandana there just in case he needs to pull his COVID mask up and over his face. So where is this? Oh, Jake Chapman. Does this stuff matter? This stuff absolutely matters because people who want to drive and manipulate a narrative in the CrossFit space to create a brand image for themselves in order to manipulate you guys.

Yeah, that fucking matters. It's fucked. And I will never be able to allow, uh, lies to that degree. You guys will always get the most authentic me, but you will never get an authentic Mike Halpin. He's a liar. Not even the affiliate town hall could get an authentic Mike Albin. They had to get Mike Albin, the owner of CrossFit Fairfield.

I'm sorry. I think Keith Knapp owns CrossFit Fairfield. What kind of position do you think that puts him in, bro? I can't even begin to imagine what Andy Handel would fucking do to me if I logged into the affiliate town hall and clicked. I own CrossFit Charlotte he would beat the shit out of me I'd be out of a fucking job and he might be out of a job too can you imagine that dude that is such a dick move you're a fucking liar bro you're not a coach you're not an owner you're there as a fucking media

sensation as a fucking Instagram page, trying to get information and share it early. It's what got you fucking kicked out of our group chat, bro, is shit like that. Thank fuck we kicked you out, dude. You suck. You suck ass. Golly, man. That's really all I have to say on that.

I hope somebody fucking butt fucks him. And I've been supposed to not been saying butt fuck as much. I actually got feedback that I was supposed to stop talking about butt fucking, but it's impossible. Brandon Gomez says he can suck my foreskin. Barclay says what group chat? Great question. What group chat? Jessica Valenzuela, we appreciate the authentic tailor. Thank you, Jessica.

I'm wrong a lot of the time, and I'm a stupid fucking idiot a lot of the time too, but I'll admit that. Depends if you are easily manipulated. Good, good point. It does depend if you're easily manipulated. I think unfortunately Some people are I won't I won't say this audience is and I won't say a lot of people are but I will say some people are

I also won't say that PC is dumb and clueless because apparently PC was sending shit to people trying to get seven trouble which That job of the hut looking motherfucker can chill on that too. Taylor, calm down. You don't have any hair to pull out anymore. You forgot my butt hairs. I definitely have a lot of those. Fake outrage. I would never do that.

Is Mike helping the favorite clown of the year for 2024? I actually hate clowns, dude. They scare the fuck out of me? Austin Hart, I can't read that I might get a I might get in trouble Wow Halpin called me a white knight on a thread. He's done that a lot He's the first one to stand on this moral high ground of I'm doing the right thing. Look at me. I'm a Christian. Douchebag. Fucking douchebag. Who's worse? Halpen or Halpen's worse. There's no one in this space that's worse than maybe one person,

but I'm not gonna go there. All right, anyways, if you're watching, if you're still here, the open's coming. January 15th is the sign update. Sign the fuck up for the open. We're gonna be doing the open. We're definitely gonna be doing some form of Taylor vs. The World. It's gonna be sick. If you guys want to see me black out and throw up again during a workout, I'm sure I'll do it again. Um, and with that, want to see me black out and throw up again during a workout, I'm sure I'll do it again. And with that, deuces.