The Sevan Podcast - Kill Taylor Ep. 8 | Win and Get $500!

Episode Date: June 16, 2024

This week is made possible by... https://thetoespacer.com If you call in to the show and beat Taylor Self in the workout of the week, you win the money. It's that simple. The greatest show in all of CrossFit. No questions asked. Be prepared to get ridiculed. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prime Day is here, with epic deals exclusively for Prime members. You'll feel like a winner. Behind door number three is Amazing Deals! Shop deals on electronics, home, and more this Prime Day. When you're working out at Planet Fitness, it's a judgment-free zone, so you can really step up your workout. That's why we've got treadmills. And our team members are here to help so you can be carefree

with the free weights they're also balance balls bikes cables kettlebells and t-rex equipment but like no pressure get started for one dollar enrollment and then only 15 a month hurry this one dollar enrollment sale of planet fitness end july 18th 49 annual fee, see Home Club for details. Oh, shit. We're live. We did it. Oh, we did it. All right, guys. Holy shit.

Caleb did it. Good job, Caleb. We're live. Caleb. Caleb to the rescue. We're live. Welcome to the most popular show on the internet. Falling off the rails.

Oh, my God. Taylor, two minutes, buddy. Two minutes, Taylor. Two minutes. The first victim is gone. Taylor Self is here. The next victim is waiting in the wing. No rep.

Burpee. Burpee, burpee. Burpee, burpee, burpee. Oh, my God. It's this. It's blind, relentless, constant pursuit of excellence. That's what it is. If you guys see any problems with the show, please let us know.

Up top, you have Andrew Hiller from HillerFit. Down below me, you just have a typical fitness enthusiast named, what was your name again? Tyson Badgent? Yes, sir. And then below them from the Heat one app uh mr uh tyler watkins tyson what's up dude how is everything you in training camp yet no we just got done uh june 6th um and then i just been back with the family this past week just fucking killing it

family family family i have no idea how you have the wide camera shot we asked him and he said it's because he's on the paper street iPad. Son of a bitch. If everyone could get one of those. This show is brought to you by Toe Spacers. $500. Taylor, Taylor, it's Taylor. Taylor Self from Kill Taylor is undefeated against women. No woman has beat this guy.

Not a single woman has beat this guy. He's un-fucking-defeated against women. I heard today's the day. Uh, Kayla, please kick the old Tyler Watkins. Thank you. You demand a toe spacers was generous enough to provide us with the money

today. And they gave us this commercial. I'm not sure how this fits in, but please enjoy in a world that never stops. It's easy to forget the importance of slowing down, but in the rush of life, our foundation often gets overlooked. Our feet and ankles, the pillars of our body's support system,

bear the weight of our every step. Recovery isn't just about resting. It's about embracing movement, activating our senses, and reconnecting with our bodies. Because when we prioritize our foundation, we pave the way for a future free from injury and full of possibility. I'll activate her. Dude, I know that chick.

Oh, well, tell her I could help her activate her senses. I personally wear the toe spacers. And under the desk at all times is the rock pad. Uh-huh. We will pull up the workout now. Taylor, we're going to go in one minute We're going to pull up the workout And when Tyson Bajan gets back from hiding his tissue paper

That he saw on the shot He will tell us the workout Here it is Week 8 Tyson Here we go 30 burpee pull ups 20 box jumps all the way over the box

10 burpee bar muscle up 20 box jumps all the way over the box, 10 burpee bar muscle-up, 20 box jumps all the way over the box, and then 30 burpee pull-ups to finish. And do we have a... Andrew, do we have a guess on the time? It's going to be... I would like to say it's going to be under 6.15, but people have the opposite opinion of that.

In charge of the brand, Will Branstetter. I don't know how that happened, but he's absolutely fucking killing it. On the back end is Matt Souza and C. Beaver. And, of course, on the camera, Mr. Big Shirt himself, Bryson Del Monte. We're ready when you are. Mr. Big Shirt. There he is.

Look at The Wayne's World countdown His shirt isn't covering his shorts today That's a little disappointing He's actually 5'2 and that's just a medium He's wearing shorter shorts than normal Taylor Stell from Sentinel Training Is off to the races

What gym is this? This isn't his normal gym what do you mean it's not charlotte are you sure there's graffiti on the wall bryson where are you guys crossfit charlotte so he said the standard of this was the same as the open in 2023, I believe, which is just you can't be able to touch the bar when you put your arms over your head with your elbows lined up. So this one's going to hurt. This is going to hurt quite a bit. Yeah.

So no one should call in. No one should call in. This one's really bad. This isn't the week to call in. This is the week where we just hang out with Tyson. Only women. What's up with the box jump? Does he have to clear the box, or can he just step on it and over?

Like, how's that? Can he jump on top of it and then go to the other side? Yeah. Completely clear it. I was wondering why he didn't just write box jump overs. That's a hard way to write it. Tyson, did you see the quarterfinal, Tyson? Say it again?

Did you see the quarterfinals? I have not. Because Taylor had a mishap with a box, so he doesn't like to land on top of it anymore. That'll do it. That'll do it. Tyson, in the middle of the workout, he pushed it so far into the red, he blacked out, and he was on the top of the box, and he fell off live.

We were live on the air, and he just went unconscious. It was crazy. What a dog. Yeah, he's a live. We were live on the air, and he just went unconscious. It was crazy. What a dog. Yeah, he's a— Landed flat on his back. What did he have on his back? He landed flat. He landed on it.

Oh, he landed on his back. Off the top of the— Yeah, just like got to the top and then blacked out and just went boom. It was like a tower falling over. Sure. Taylor Self is doing 30 burpee pull-ups right now, and after this, he's going to switch to 20 box jump all the way over We're not sure exactly what that is, but you're about to find out

Oh, shit Oh, shit Yeah, see, he doesn't like to be on top of it anymore So he fixed the issue Wow And what's the box height for the girls? 20 inches 20 inches, okay Which is weird because they just got to go further And it's the box height for the girls? 20 inches 20 inches, okay

Which is weird because they just got to go further And it's wider, yeah Okay, so he's doing great So when did he get to the box at two minutes? 1.55 That's why Tyler Watkins is here The number stuff He just listens to what I say

He's doing 20 of these and then he'll switch to the 10 more burpee bar muscle-ups. Go ahead, Tyler. I think somebody's going to beat him at this one. I think he's done it again where he's programmed himself out. No shit. You think so? Did he just do a burpee?

Am I? Burpee bar muscle-up. See, when I took that time and Bryson's like, no way he's going to finish it that fast. I thought it was a set of 10 bar muscle-ups. All right. Yeah, it'll be. What are you thinking? 6.30, 6.45?

Closer to 7 now because. Hey, I think that there's going to be people who maybe if they can beat them, they're still going to fuck up the sequence. You know what I mean? Like they're going to go back and forget that it's bar muscle-ups and that's just gonna get them kicked out especially girls oh that is a rookie oh yeah what is what's he doing what do you do his shoes are shoes on oh Nelly oh that really messes when you're doing a box jump over like double unders it messes with you but box jump doing a box jump over. Like double unders, it messes with you, but box jump over, you're always sticking up.

Whoa. Oh, shit. I didn't jinx him. I didn't jinx him. You brought it up. What? He just slipped. That's your fault.

He's getting beat. Oh, yeah. That's obviously my fault. Colton Merton's licking his chops. Okay, so at 345, he got to the second round of box jumpovers. Is that called a double entendre? Because chops are like pork and he's a pig farmer? Maybe.

Or it's a pun. Just a pun. Double entendre pun. No, it's like an oxymoron. Double entendre means it means something else. Yeah, it does. Yeah, chops. He's licking his pigs.

We heard last week that it wasn't the real hayley adams just so you know yeah that wasn't her i called i called that person out on the show hey if that's you where are you right now and they never responded they just disappeared i had a feeling it wasn't her why because you keep tabs on her yeah i know where she is at all points in time you guys share location? It looks like maybe both shoes are about to be untied. Okay, here we go. Final round started at 432. Oh my gosh.

You know what? He's going to be close to that original time now of 615. Let's go, Taylor. Let's go, buddy. Push hard. Oh wait, are we supposed to cheer him on? I'm not sure. Yeah, whatever he wants. He's our guy. Yeah, whatever he wants. He's our guy.

Yeah, what's the money at? 500 this week. 500. Restarted. He got beat. Yeah, he's got beat a few times. Last week some Europeans, the second fittest guy in Europe called in and put it to us. A whole group of Europeans.

Wow. Yeah. Listen, listen. yeah listen tomorrow night at 7pm Pacific Standard Time Alex Perez is fighting in the main event he will also be on the show next week so watch the show tomorrow night on ESPN Plus watch the Alex Perez fight

and then after the fight a couple days after the fight he'll be on the show also today's the last day to get your vindicate kill Taylor t-shirt last day to get your vindindicate Kill Taylor t-shirt. Last day to get your Vindicate Kill Taylor t-shirt is today. And then, of course, thank you to Toast Pacers. And finally, don't call my personal phone if you have my personal phone number. You can't get into the show like that.

You have to call 928-583-3903. And you don't even call it. You just text me, and I'll text you a link. God, he's going hasn't slowed down people hasn't slowed down sub six which means i said 6 15 6 15 yeah he hasn't slowed down people someone just tried to call him on the phone oh it's gonna be close oh my god he's moving these are fat oh wow six good job dude damn 613 nice good job dude one down there hey bryson yeah it looked like it was executed perfectly did you see any issues with it uh perfectly i mean perfectly his hand slipped and his shoes came untied but he didn't slow him

down so you mean on one of the bar muscle-ups a hand slipped and he almost went over the top yeah okay and good job hillary you were almost exactly right i'm pretty good at that guessing times it's it's uh you get it you didn't you guessed the wrong workout you Right. I'm pretty good at that. Guessing times. It's a... You guessed the wrong workout. You didn't even know it was a workout. Oh, you shut your mouth. Or something. All right.

Taylor has just finished the workout. He is definitely wounded. This one's going to hurt. If you're not willing to hurt, do not try to come on. Wow. Wow. Definitely wounded this one's gonna hurt if you're not willing to hurt don't don't do not Try to come on. Oh look at Wow Wow What we have we have so we have a Mexican

You look you you got a pretty strong-looking job buddy Look at that jaw you look like you might have something put on. It's just the angle, dude. Let's go. I appreciate you warming up the crowd. Do you know how bad this one's going to hurt, Javier? This is going to be bad, dude. I'm ready.

You ready to hurt? Where are you? I'm at Syracuse Sweat Club, CrossFit Syracuse. Okay. Syracuse sweat club crossfit syracuse okay syracuse new york okay and do you have someone there to remind you what the movements are because although you got a strong jaw we're not sure about that brain and there's some shit you got to remember you know it's like switches from burpee pull-ups to burpee bar muscle-ups back to burpee pull-ups you got that yeah yeah i got i got a guy here helping me. Okay, you know a guy. All right. Yeah. All right, we're ready when you are, buddy.

All right, sounds good. Let's get it. Javier from CrossFit Syracuse. Right here. Representing all of Latin America. Yes, sir. Cuba. Cuba, baby.

Cuba. Sorry. Yeah, Cuba. Sorry. Yeah, Cuba. Are those the same thing? Yes. Yes, sir. Cuba. Cuba, baby. Cuba. Sorry. Yeah, Cuba. Sorry. Yeah, Cuba. Are those the same thing? Yes. Yes, fine. If you're American, it's just south of anything south of San Diego. Sideways. Javier, can we get your phone sideways, brother?

Yeah. Don't be nice to him, sir. He's a brother. Thank you. I mean, Eora, puto. Steve, Steve, Steve. Oh, there you go. Sorry. E you, brother. I mean, I want to know what his tattoo on his shin says. Who gets a tattoo on their shin? Oh, my goodness. Yeah. Nick,

Sebi loves Cubanos more than any other southern country. That's true. I like Venezuel any other southern country. That's true. Armando. I like Venezuelan women, too. That'll work. Joe Biden used to coach at CrossFit Syracuse. Yeah, I heard that, too. That's cool.

Really? Yeah, for sure. Well, he wandered into CrossFit Syracuse once. All right. Ready when you are, dude dude Let's get it Time to beat is roughly 6.12 I called you out I'm gonna kill you

Alright Taylor's not even alive yet dude He's still dead He's killed himself I kinda like that Taylor Self just did the workout, got 6'12". The workout is 30 burpees, pull-ups, 20 box jump-overs, all the way over. 10 burpee bar muscle-ups.

That's when you've got to get on top of the bar. Then another 20 box jump all the way over. And then 30 burpee pull-ups. Hey, Tyson, what do you think? Count us down. The Cubano, Javier the Cubano from CrossFit Syracuse. Beautiful orange wall. 701.

701, you think? Yeah, he's too big. We're going to know once he gets to the bar muscle-ups whether or not he's got a shot. Nope. Yeah, never mind. Hey, he's all muscle. Look at even his – he puts too much work in every burpee. He's all muscle He puts too much work in every burpee He's all muscle

The tattoo on his shin Said 2001 So I'm assuming it's the birth year He's a young guy What year were you born Tyson? 2000 He's a baby Where do you have that tattooed Tyson? What'd you us. Where do you have that tattooed, Tyson?

What'd you say? Where do you got that tattooed on you, your birth year? No, I had that idea, but my dad said he'd make it. I got that. Okay. Kenneth DeLapp for Seve's Kids Jiu-Jitsu Lessons. Thank you. Today at 10.15 a.m. I can't lap for Seve's kids jiu-jitsu lessons. Thank you today

Hey Taylor's first set took him a minute 55 you're on pace. Oh stop don't cheer Javier on Hey, did I do 30 in my first set? I lost count. I don't know. Great. I wish I knew. Maybe Caleb can check from the Starlink. Yep, he is checking. He just gave us the signal he's checking. Is he counting for himself? No, there's someone there. The guy with the hat on backwards.

If you tell from the accent, that's him. A minute and a half in. 25. No, there's someone there. The guy with the hat on backwards. If you tell from the accent, that's him. Minute and a half in. 25. 155 is the split time. 27. I'm not worried if he beats him off the burpees. 28.

145. I would be. 29. You did 31, Taylor. You did 32, Taylor. People are saying would be. 29. You did 31, Taylor. You did 32, Taylor. People are saying you did too many. What? No way.

He almost just caught that first box jump. That would have been awesome. Oh, that would be great for the show if someone eats shit on the box. God. Yeah, certainly. He's going to eat one of these. Yeah, he lands weird. He lands weird. That landing, he's not as athletic as Taylor.

Not even close. Isn't there a Mexican jumping bean? Isn't there a thing? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's a Cubano jumping bean. Oh, oh. Hey, look at his matching outfit. He knew he was doing this today.

Wow, I'm still hurting. Yeah, this is the worst we've seen you after work now what show is this episode eight no the burpee the burpee drag rope was pretty bad too he jumped in the pool oh yeah that's right two seconds now he's got four seconds behind taylor at this point let's go buddy let's go javier he's got to get on are going to take him way too long. He's got to get off this at 345. 345. You basically got to go directly

to the floor. Javier, you suck. Syracuse sucks. Sorry, I'm good now. I wonder if that gym's even up on its affiliate dues. We'll find out. This guy's wearing whale labias for grips. What the fuck is this guy doing?

Hey, he's not on pace, bro. Stop lying to him. You're off pace, Javier. Quit. This is the only CrossFit thing where somebody will not cheer you on. Instead, they'll beg you to quit. Yeah, perfect. Yeah. This one, this one, uh, this one, uh, no man has a chance to

meet Taylor on this one. This one's definitely set up with all the home cooking. Wow. Look at this. Mary Montour, free toast basters. Whoever guesses his time, go ahead and put your guesses in the chat. Right where you want to be. I think 30 reps. Put your guesses in the chat. Right where you want to be. Bryce said I did 30 reps. What was his time? Take that down.

Finish. Oh, I was 6'11"? We're not going to know this guy's time. He's fucked. Because we weren't going to watch him finish, right? I don't know. I think he's going to come to a halt here in a second. Taylor was done with these at four and a half minutes. It's okay.

It's okay. Taylor was done with these at four and a half minutes. It's on pace. Look at all the time coming into the check. You better get on your fucking horse, bro. Let's go, Javier. You're only 20 seconds behind. 4.32 was when Taylor finished these. And I was pacing to this point.

If he has the juice to sprint the last 30, all of them, then maybe. But I don't think he can go 30, jump up, jump down. Oh, shit, he's only three seconds behind, four seconds behind. Two seconds behind. No, he's done. Too many steps. Time to beat 6.12. Is he getting his chin over the bar?

Come on, man. You were so disappointed. Too many steps. Is he getting his chin over the bar? Come on, man. I'm disappointed. Thomas, from the socialist Denmark to the land of dreams, Sentinel Training, Thomas Jacobson. Thank you, brother. Love you. Thank you. Let's go, buddy. Five minutes.

Wow. You got to drop off that bar. All right. 20 reps in a minute. Yeah, he's got – yep, exactly. Easiest $500 you ever made. 11. All right.

You made one aggressive step up. Let's see if it lasts. Jeremy, you whirled. His biceps are too big. 13. Listen, you can't start guessing times now. It's too late. We're at the end.

This is the most optimal angle for these pull-ups. Yeah. Yeah, it is. Hey, I've seen worse. I do like that this guy is a counter. That's beautiful. Yeah. Should we make that a mandatory thing?

6'12". No, we can't make too many rules for this show We gotta do 10 and 20 seconds. There's no way. Oh, this is cool. Well, they'll do wheelhouse on this you gotta drop faster 6 12 6 12 Damn oh, it's gonna be close dude. This going to be real close. No, it's not. He's got five reps to go. Fuck, Javier. Great attempt, buddy.

Great attempt. Great attempt. Wow. Hey, what's this guy's name? Javier. Javier what? They don't need two names in Cuba. Everyone there is just Javier.

Javier Castro. What the fuck was that? You didn't win, dude. You can't shoot the arrow when you lose. He does have two arms. You can't shoot the arrow when you lose, bro. What the fuck? Yeah, you lost.

You don't lose. Come on, bro. That's like Tyson getting sacked and then doing an end zone dance. No way. Javier, did you make it to the semifinals? No, not this year. Well, never.

All right, buddy. Do you have CrossFit games dreamed? Is that what you want to do? You want to go to the CrossFit games someday? Yeah. Yeah, you're a beast, dude. Hey, good job. Love having you on the show.

Hey, Javier, what was your score on 24.1? Very slow. So bad you don't even want to say. Yeah, seven. Oh, yeah. Seven, ten. Yeah, it's slow. Yeah.

All right, buddy. You should probably leave the gym Someone's called immigration They'll be getting you in 10 minutes Oh my gosh That dude looks like a combination of Dan Ty and Horny Here we go We have Matthew Jordan

Ready to feel the pain How bad is this Taylor? What's up? What's up? What's up, dude? Good to see you. Hi. Hi. Hey, nice to see you.

Hi. Can y'all see the clock in the background? We can. We can. Phone sideways. Jesus Christ. Phone sideways, yeah. Tyler, will you translate what he says?

He talks in your language. Then we can see the cat's bus, too. Where are you from, what he says? He talks in your language. Then we can see the cat's bus too. Where are you from, George? We're going to unlock your phone. Unlock it. Rachel. Like when you watch porn, Matthew. Put it in the way when you watch porn.

Where are you from, Matthew? South Carolina. South Carolina. South Carolina. There we go. Is that better? Yes, sir. Is that Alex Gazan in the middle with the white t-shirt?

No. I get it. Hey, Matthew, are you any good? I'm okay. I'm good at burpees. Okay. All right. That's what they always say.

You good? Yeah. Do you have any clue how bad this hurts? Yeah. Okay. It looked like it hurt pretty bad. Who's the girl? Is that your girl? Tell her thank you.

Rachel and Matthew. Can you start the clock? Yeah. I think so. You guys ready? Hey, did she put a little carrot at the end of the stick? If you beat him and get the 500 bucks, you get something? 100%. All right.

All right. Good. All right. Everyone, every dude needs a carrot. Wow. All right. He's about to start the clock. All right.

Let's do it. Matthew looks like the mom. Matthew looks like the mom that wakes their kids up on Saturday morning by squirming around the kitchen. Do you guys want pancakes? That's how he sounds. For the 500 bucks in a standee, Matthew Jordan from CrossFit,

the Forks. Three, two, one. Go, Caleb. Oh, look. Heber's back there filming him. Oh, wait. Do they have to have the music off? Or if we just keep talking we'll be okay Oh yeah, we can just mute him

Oh, he's on pace Taylor The workout guys 30 burpee pull-ups 20 box jump-overs all the way over the box 10 burpee bar muscle-ups That's when you get on top of the bar 20 box jump-overs all the way again

Then 30 burpee pull-ups The time to beat 6'12 Javier from Cuba was pretty close That's when you get on top of the bar. 20 box jump overs all the way again. Then 30 burpee pull-ups. The time to beat 6'12". Javier from Cuba was pretty close. 9. I like him. He's got strikes on his feet. This is a man's workout, even though the box is lower for women. Women have no chance at this game,

but we feel like we should include numbers for them. Let me see where this is. I think a handful of women could beat you on this one. No. Name one. 14. Gazan. Gazan.

Fuck no. 15. Upper body pressing, hombre. It's a whole workout. 16. But she's a better upper body presser than me. Yeah, you have the same bench press, Max. No, we don't.

Shut the fuck up. You do. You do. Fucker. Is this 19?'t. Shut the fuck up. You do. You do. Fucker. Is this 19? Where's he at? 19, I think. Caleb?

Hey, Mr. Reed, the bar height looks different when you're in the middle of a rep than it does when you're standing under it, all right? Oh, yeah. I was saying, oh. This dude from Outstodder. I cannot tell you how many people I'd reach out to me during the burpee bowl the bar is too short it's like shut the fuck up if you want to go against Taylor

you can text me your number at 928-583-3903 I'll send you a link and then if you're lucky in this mess of texts that pour in you could come on the show Tyson would go sub 6 on this Tyson can you beat Taylor on this

yeah I've been thinking about that the whole time I think so Tyson would go sub six on this. Tyson, can you beat Taylor on this? Yeah, I've been thinking about that the whole time. I think so. Oh, ew. Oh, shit. By the way, you look so good on your jump overs, Taylor. Me? He looks like he's a jumping horse. Like you go to the horse races and the horse gets back and dies.

Almost that fake horse competition you see that yeah oh my god uh the time that when he comes off of these jumps uh taylor was at 3 45 3 45 no i was done with the burpee bar muscle-ups at 345. Yeah. Is that okay? I apologize. Yeah, you're tripping, bro. Oh, John Young. Apparently John Young's time is in, 559.

But he did 10, 5, 0, 5, 10. He subbed bench press for muscle-ups. Hey, it is crazy how most of these guys are pretty close to you after the box jump overs. Yeah. You can't really boot them quite yet. No. Initially, I was thinking that this was going to be super fast,

and then the closer I got, I was like, I probably need to pace the 30 and 20 a little bit. You know what that means? Huh? You know what that means? That means it's beatable, probably. Damn right that's what it means. Hey, Taylor, could you – I don't know, though, dude. means it's beatable, probably. Damn right that's what it means. Hey, Taylor, could you—

I don't know, though, dude. I pinned it on the last 15. Someone's got to pin it on the last 20. I don't think so. On the 30th burpee, I was close to, like, failing. What did you think when your shoe came untied? So on the first set of 30, I lost count, and I was like, Bryson! I was screaming.

We were on mute. I was like, Bryson, you didn't hear me? Bryson! I was like, Bryson! I was screaming. We were on mute. I was like, Bryson, you didn't hear me? I was like, Bryson. He's like, what? He's like, his head's in the computer. He's like, what? I'm like, where am I? He's like, I don't know.

So I just did what I thought was 30. And then after my box jump overs, I saw my shoelace and I was like, fuck. But it was like, well, I'm not going to stop the workout. Directly tied with you. Yeah, he is tied with you. Oh, my gosh. Oh, we got to get you was like, fuck. But it was like, well, I'm not going to stop the workout. He's directly tied with you. Yeah, he is tied with you. Oh my gosh. Oh, we got to get you a counter, Taylor. Shit, this is close.

His transitions are fast. 500 bucks from no spacers. Who thinks Matthew Jordan's going to get it? No. He can't hold. What do you mean? Because his chick said some stuff, right? What? The carrot, the carrot.

Oh, yeah, yeah. That's why he's going to win. He get a standee and 500 bucks. He's going to get it. You need to get a carrot. You need to get a carrot, Taylor. Help you out. He does.

He gets absolutely nothing out of this show. That's why he keeps losing. Well, fuck off. I'm still, I have a winning percentage right now, dude. If it were my batting average, I'd be a fucking Hall of Famer. Good point. 432, exactly where you got off. Wow.

Oh, dude. Hey, is that bar high enough? All of a sudden, I'm thinking we're going to have to check the bar. Holy shit. Holy shit. Hey, I'm reading the comments, and now we're going to check it after he's done. Not before. Holy shit.

These are the final 30? Yeah, it is. Holy shit. 500 bucks, toe spacers. This guy got it. Holy shit. He's got to be quicker. Taylor's going to have a demon to fight with a box jump workout.

This is nine? Tough week for Taylor. Another tough week for Taylor. Ten. What's he at? I think he's at 15. That was ten. This is 11. Thank you, Stuse. He's moving.

He's moving fast. He is moving fast. He feels it. Can you do 20 of these in a minute? That's what he needs to do. Absolutely. 15. No, he's not got it. 16. Oh, he's got to push it now.

This is where Taylor said he'd put the pedal down. Time to beat 612, people. Time to beat 612. I'm thinking no. Nope. I do like watching Taylor. 10 left. 10 left. I am sweating. I'm trying no. Nope. I do like watching Taylor. Ten left. Ten left.

I am sweating. I'm trying to do ten. That's pretty close. Maybe not that close. Eight left. Time to beat 612. Yeah, I'm good. Yeah, then I hit it.

I'm ready. Let's go. Should have had that pace earlier. If you would have done this all 30, you could have gotten him. Yeah, right, and that's the thing. 6'11". Taylor South's still the champion. She's saying stop?

Wow. Yeah, it's that. Damn! Damn. Who works out to Chris Stapleton Wow Taylor what's he feeling? What's he feeling? He's not feeling what I felt cuz he was 15 seconds lower Hey, dude, you put you put the fear in us You put the fear in us. You put the fear in us.

Damn, you put the fear in us. Hey, you came off the last set of box jumps right when he did. Super fast transition. Super fast transition. You weren't fucking around. And your burpees, for some reason, your burpees at the end looked faster than Taylor's too, but I guess they weren't. No, they did not.

Fuck off, Seth. You hear that? Fuck off. All right, fine. I'll fuck off. Fine. I'll fuck off. That was hard.

Seth Taylor. Thanks, dude. How much do you weigh? 175. Jesus. I got you by 25 pounds, bro. Oh, my God. You look bigger than that.

How tall are you? What are you, 5'9"? Oh, shit. Wow. Yeah, I thought this dude was 6'4". I know. You look huge on camera. He looks 5'9", 170.

Drink a lot of milk. All right. Hey, is this your first time on the show? Yeah. Awesome. Milk's for babies, dude. That's not what your mom said. Oh!

God, I'm paying for my wife to think about that bro hey uh you when you did you know you were gonna do this last night no no i knew like 30 minutes ago so you saw the workout and then you're like hey i'm gonna do this yeah yeah awesome well we appreciate you thanks for giving it a shot uh we'll see you next week. Yeah, have a good day. Later, brother. All right, people getting off easy today. Jason's in the chat.

Jason's in his living room naked, jelking to our show. Hey, Jason, go do some games training or something, you freaking nerd. What's jelking, Jay? It's where you aggressively stretch your flaccid penis trying to get it longer. Oh, it's spelled with a Q. Jelking is a penis stretching exercise. It's where you aggressively stretch your flaccid penis trying to get it longer.

Oh, it's spelled with a Q. Jelking is a penis stretching exercise. In the behind the scenes, did you not get that part where I told Jason 200 stretches gets you an eighth of an inch? And he was like, no, it doesn't. Oh, here we go. Jelking is a massaging exercise that aims to stretch the penis. Oh, is this a GoWOD thing? Some people say it can make erections last longer and help the penis last longer.

Oh, this is like advanced. This is when you unlock the second level of GoWOD. No, this is the HWPO Pro track for GoWOD. You know how they make you measure everything in the GoWOD intro? They actually make you measure your penis and it's like, well...

Shut the fuck up. Could've, should and it's like, well, here. Did I shoot a cock? Shut the fuck up. Could have, should have, would have, Jason, you pussy. Yeah, hey, does he have any chance of beating you in this, Taylor? No, he doesn't. Oh, okay, thank you, Susan. He doesn't have a chance because he's a pussy and he won't do it.

That's why. If you'd like a shot at the 500 bucks and some love from the group, 928-583-3903. Tyson, you really do think you got him on this? Are you going to do this? No, no. Yeah, I'll do it.

I'll do it. But no, probably not. Dude, you know who doesn't look – Tyson, I would have never – what are you, 6'4"? 6'3". I would have never guessed that. And that's a compliment because you look like – you carry yourself like you're six feet.

You're just like yoked. You don't look like lanky. Do you know what I mean oh my god yeah you're a good looking dude man what's this uh hey hey now listen savon's behind savon's behind the scenes a little youtube series when jason sees him in person for the first time oh yeah is the funniest fucking thing that i may have ever seen in my entire life what what does he do? He just tells me He looked at you. He just looked and he was like, damn, you really look like a real bitch in person.

Oh, yeah, that's right. Hey, both indicates he can't find the jelking track. It's under HWPO Pro, Travis. Weird that it didn't show up in my GoWad protocol. Oh, it's there, buddy. you're not at that level yet listen guys it's an easy 500 bucks all you need is a pull-up bar and a box toe spacers is a legitimate company they'll probably send you the money you can't guarantee it hey do you ever

wear those things on your wiener the spacer yeah i have one on one on my toes and one on my wiener right now i put two do you like triple it up like you put one loop through and then you double it over and then you pull it over just stack it just for your penis yeah hey it actually says when you get them for toes and jelking and so you put one hole over your cock and then you stretch the big toe hole over your around your balls yes yes yes Why did my mouth start watering when you said that? It was weird. Oh, my God. What happened?

Tyler just can't get his internet at his mom's house working? Dude, he's in Kentucky. He's in the backwoods of Appalachia. Is he in Indiana? Yeah, I was having trouble with it. I guess he said it was so lagged that it was just coming in behind. The average age of the guys on this show when they moved out of their parents' house is 29.

God. Hey, what are you guys doing for Father's Day? When's that? It's tomorrow, dude. Oh, I didn't even know. Did you know it was Father's Day? Me? Yeah. No, somebody had to tell me. My dad died like a long time ago, so I don't celebrate it anymore. Are you going to cry tomorrow?

Is tomorrow going to be a hard day for you? I already cried yesterday. All right, good. You doing something, Hiller, for Father's Day? Crying. Yeah, all right, fine. Tyson. Oh, dude, are we fucking, are we twins? No, my dad lives like 20 minutes away.

Okay. It's like a daily cry. Tyson, are you doing something With the champ The world champ The champ is in Orlando Florida right now He's actually arm wrestling today Oh so he's really committed to the whole father thing Yeah

Yeah he is Alright I don't think I think we're good I think it's just two this week I'm telling you no girls Even Tyler Watkins got scared. He ran away. Fuck that.

We're not good. By the way, we did kick Pedro White off the show for Tyson today. Sorry, bitch. We kicked Peter off and Tyler doesn't even have Wi-Fi. Classic. I know. That was a fuck up, right? We kicked off the wrong guy.

And the funniest line of the show last week was when Pedro came after you. That was some fun. Yeah, he fucking stuck it in my butt. He kicked the dog while it was down, dude. That was fucked up. Kenneth DeLapp, come on. We need at least two more. I'm telling you, no one wants any. 1,100 people watching and no one wants a piece. I'll respect

a games athlete if they come on this week. Yeah, is there a threshold for a games athlete? They're like, i'm not doing 500 i do i know with your eye are you having a stroke do we need to call someone yeah i was looking at something weird uh no i it's not the money thing hillar it's like yellow host a nose 30 2010 biker and i should have fucking known this that's not gonna hurt him you know what i mean like that's not a painful really workout. It's just like you can either do the unbroken legless and bike hard or not. But I respect a games athlete when they come on for a show that's like, damn, I know that this is going to have to be extremely uncomfortable. Do you know what I mean?

Hey, John, John hung one hung low. Sevan is trying to make sure no one beats Taylor. I mean, yeah, that's the goal. But listen, this is such an accessible workout. Why aren't people calling in this week? This is the slowest week ever. Why is that? Is it because they're scared or it's too hard?

Everyone remembered week six where the only people that tried to beat me quit halfway through. And they saw burpees again. They're like, fuck, I'm out. No, they don't think that hard, dude. They're like, it's over four minutes. The games athletes think that hard. They're like, oh, I did a burpee yesterday. I can't do another one today.

I got a bench press later today. What were you thinking when you designed this? I was just thinking I need to stop being a pussy with like high skill movements that I think, OK, if I have like a particular muscular stamina threshold or a skill threshold that's going to keep people from beating me. When in reality, I shouldn't be worried that much about the general pop. I'd rather a Matthew beat me, but I'm not going to program another workout where it's like, OK, there's a handful of games, athletes that can beat me and they're just definitely going to call in and fucking clap my cheeks. So I'm just going to make them work for it from here on out. They have to work for it. Okay. I love that. I love that. And obviously the movements you picked, this is easier than like when you had a drag rope in there. No, I wouldn't even say the drag rope was not accessible. A lot of you guys are overthinking

that more people have a drag rope than have a fucking biker, probably. Maybe close. Dude, it's a $40 jump rope. But listen, I think more people have access to a biker. Do you own a biker, Tyson? Yeah, I do. Yeah, I don't even know. I say next week, 50 cal on the bike.

Jeez, well, I'm going to get butt fucked. Tyson's calling in. Let's do it. Don't worry about that wall, that freaking wall, dude. Hey, dude, I'm going to take the camera after we're done live. I'll walk the camera out back and show you this high wall we have. You mean the same thing, like a burpee climb up that thing? Yeah, but it's like, Tyson, how tall is your wall?

Like eight? Probably, probably yeah like seven probably it's probably a foot taller than me i think our high wall might be no it's not taller it's like your height i'd say it's like my height yeah i had to do that to get on it yeah our high wall is like it's like the obstacle course one where it's a wooden platform and it's built up and you have to run and like jump off with one foot to grab the top it's crazy oh yeah it's high as fuck fuck that well i don't understand this comment why did both those dudes use the 24 inch height they had them if they weren't stupid is he joking uh he sounds stupid this guy looks like he sucks penis look at his look at his profile picture mvin? Yeah, he's got that smile. Don't leave him alone with your kids.

You know what I'm talking about? Where it's like his eyes are frowning, but his face is smiling. You know what I mean? How do you even think of that? I see it, though. Oh, they're talking about the seats. Slim seats on the C2 erg. Oh. Hey, 12 daily doses puts his biker seat on

upward. He gets a wrench and he's like... Holy shit. Jedediah Snellson, critical of the programming. Are we turning into Ninja Warrior? How come he's not calling in? Why aren't you fucking calling in, bro? I don't think he's got any legs, dude.

Oh. Pat, 12 daily doses in the middle of a 400-meter run from Sentinel, or I'd be calling in. Dude, I converted him. He's voting Trump now for sure. Come on. Hey, didn't you guys used to fight in the comments, and now he's a member of Sentinel?

Well, the thing I respect most about Pat is that you can call him a fucking douche and he'll laugh and then call you a douche back, which is nice. And you guys just get past it. Yeah. So we, no, no. Well, we, we definitely like, he sent me this thing the other day where this guy was interviewing another guy and he asked him if he would suck a dick for $2 million. And the guy's like, no. And the guy's like, no. And the guy's like,

all right, how much? And he goes free. And he sent me that. And he said, this is you. That's why I like Pat. That's funny.

Oh, fuck off. No, dude, don't let him call in. You're not calling in again, bro. Let me change out of my farm clothes.

Uh, the show will be live for another, probably, uh, 15 minutes. Uh, Tyson, are you live for another, probably, uh, 15 minutes. Uh, Tyson, are you calculating how long it takes to do each one?

Tyson, how, how often do you train? How often are you training hard like that? Like a workout like that? You do a workout like that every day? Uh, like three or four times a week.

And then the other three or four times, I just do football shit. So, so three or four times a week, you'll do a workout where you, like when you're done, you got to sit down? Yeah, I'm like, oh, fuck. You got to go hide in a corner and make sure no one sees you do it or what? No, no, no.

I don't have to, especially now that I'm home. I just do whatever the fuck I want. But when I am at the facility, I do go window by there to do all that shit because the staff, the weightlifting staff will kind of look at me funny everything's all soft and calculated nfl taylor how often do you do workout like that where you're like okay i need to sit down uh every day to varying degrees but every day i would say that's still not quite like 24.1 I would say that's still not quite like 24.1. It's hard to imagine. I think 24.1 was a unique experience because I was caged up for two years not having competed at all.

Is that the workout where you fainted on the box? No, that was the one where I beat Gallon. You beat everyone but Colton on that one. Right. Do you have any flashbacks of that when you're doing this workout? You got any fear in you ever since that blackout moment? No, I don't fear that happening, but what I do have, like,

what recurs frequently is like, uh-oh, am I going to choose to quit today? Am I going to slow down when I don't need to slow down? You know what I mean? That's the ever-present inner bitch. You think you fainted because you got the vaccine?

I didn't get the vaccine, bro. Oh, all right, all right. John Hung. Colton's about to make up his games winning by beating Taylor every week. If Colton calls in and beats me, he's getting more than $500, and it's going to be a picture of me bent over,

butt naked, looking through my legs, my balls hanging in between. Something he can put on the wall in the gym. Yeah. Something he can jump to in the barn. So Colton has no chance. The box is too high for him. Some feng shui for the wiener hut. He can't jump over that box, right? Colton's got a chance. He's like one of the best in the world at burpees.

He's the best in the world at burpees. He's the best in the world of burpees. If I program, if I, if I write burpees, I'm like hoping he doesn't call in manifesting it. Fuck off Colton. You're not allowed to start doing the show at like 4am when he works out, wakes up to go work at the pigs.

Yeah. So he's busy. Dick butter said he chip in 500 of an athlete called in. Listen, I games athlete? I can't guarantee you actually get that money Dude, I'm fucking rich now And I had to pay fucking quarterly taxes

In like the 24% bracket How stupid is that? Move to California No, dude California's way better And pay 40% dude it's fucked Tyler Watkins wants to apologize to all the listeners

I'm sorry guys I tried to make it work at my mommy's house I won't travel anymore 24% 22% that's like stealing from the government only paying that much dude shut up.

For me? Move to Cali. Move to Cali. Dude, fuck that. Fuck the government. I got into this crazy debate with this girl in my DMs this morning about fucking the Department of Education. This is every day, bro. That's totally different than what happens in Tyson's DMs, by the way.

Go on. Tell us the difference between an NFL player player and a crossfit games athlete go ahead tell us how you talk to girls what do you know see this is the thing seth seth i know how to not pay taxes as a business owner but i also am trying to buy a fucking house so i can either make no money and never get a house or fucking suck the government's cock and show that i make money so that i can get a loan for a home bro Bro, you know you got to put that in a tax savings advantage thing for yourself, right? You could save the money and pass it through another account

if you set it up correctly. Well, then tell me how to do that, Suze. I'm a redneck. I'm from fucking... Hey, brother. Unfortunately, dude, you can't afford my services. Oh, my God. Guys, guys, guys. MediaLaunch.io. It's a.io? I think so.

Hey, dude, he gave me some sick advice. He gave me some sick advice the other day. Let's hear it. No, I can't talk about it. Careful, careful, careful. That's not for public consumption. Exactly. That's private services.

It was that weird penis growing machine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was 300 stretches a minute gets you a quarter inch. That's right, baby. A jelking machine. Yeah, it was 300 stretches a minute gets you a quarter inch. That's right, baby. A jelking machine. Jason's in his apartment, his lux apartment in Greenville fucking stretching his freaking hog

right now. How come Jason doesn't call in? Because he's a pussy. Is that really why? Jason falls under pressure. He didn't like that I put him number one on my rankings. That's why he finished fifth or fourth or whatever. Gotcha. Jason's the type of dude to tell me I'm going to

qualify for the games and to believe in myself, and then when I place 13th at the end of the weekend, act like he doesn't know me, dude. This is what happened. Wow. Wow. What's up, Dallin? What's up? Sick job, Jeff. He looks over at me. Looks away. Historic Fitness, I had to suck the government off for two years to buy a house,

and now I don't pay taxes. All right. There's a member of the IRS in the chat. I think it's a guy. I pay my taxes. It's the fittest auditor. Hey, what do you think? Is he a member of the IRS?

In all seriousness, why do you think more games athletes don't come on here? I know for a fact they watch the show. Every single athlete I interviewed at the east semi-final talked about time out time out is fittest auditor really work for the irs no okay good dude because i was about to fucking go off so many people who work for them someone in that chat for sure works for irs irs there we go hey here's the thing. I think Taylor explained why no one's calling in.

Basically, the workout's accessible to everyone, and everyone knows this one's going to hurt, and so they don't want none. And that's why you get those two gut randos, and then I can't tell if Colton's serious or not. Colton's not afraid to hurt, but I think most of these guys don't want to do that on the air. They're scared. Same thing with the quarterfinals, right?

That's why we ended up with Dallin, Jason, Taylor, Colton. It's just people who are just willing to put it on the line. It's a lot. It's with their fragile egos. It's a lot. And no girls for sure will ever call in. I'm just surprised they don't take advantage of it just to boost it. It's like free media boost for them.

They can come on and even dick around and stuff and still get a little spotlight. Fuck this guy Mike McCaskey, dude. This is why gyms were shut down during COVID, bro, because people like you reporting people. Dude, that's a joke, dude. I know it's a joke, but still, it's a dumb joke, dude. Fuck that joke.

Adam Blakeslee, Matthew must be too busy today. I wonder where Matthew is. This would be probably a good one for him. Dixon, Hattie, can you come get this money? No, no, I'm telling you. I mean, Matthew is. This would be probably a good one for him. Dixon, Hattie, can you come get this money? No, no, I'm telling you. I mean, she could get a little air time. Oh, yeah, here we go. Here's the reason

why games athletes make too much money to That's not true. That's it, Nick Lovin. That ain't fucking true, bro. Let me say that's just as much of a joke as the McCaskey comment. Oh, my God. Yeah yeah but i don't think he thinks it's a joke i think mclovin thinks they make money if i'm if i'm a sponsor for an athlete i would write that in their contract that they got to show up and compete and kill taylor try to call

in uh once a week oh shit romeo god damn dude he looks like he look pull this guy up romeo minosa i have your name bro we're gonna fucking dox you dude if you find human feces on your front doorstep it definitely wasn't me i would say just know that why what'd he say oh we call it oh look at his picture too that dude yeah he 100 he looks like uh his boss hey if you come after us we're gonna report you, Romeo, to the fucking immigration. How's that? How's a little bit of that? Wow. There you go.

See ya. Okay. We're going to let one more guy come in. There's so many piling in now. It's time. It's time to let one more guy in. If it's cold, dude, fuck off with this. This is going to piss me off. Here we go.

Oh, that'll be great. Hey, dude, he cannot beat you in this you should throw a box jump in every week we saw we saw what happened to him at the uh semis he's great at everything except one thing if you see anything with a box in it yeah but there's no is there's not a step down now and it's not 30 inches that step down as a travesty, dude What's really disappointing? We haven't seen anyone crash on the box yet Yes Leah link what did you say? He's ready single leg. Yeah, he's ready. What did you say Tyson's shame?

We haven't seen much Especially with the wooden box. I thought. I have an accident on that. No, thank you. That would be viral. Some viral content. I'm trying to get this guy from my gym to do it. Oh, dude.

Tyler Watkins? $250 to Sentinel Athlete who calls in tax-free. Oh, shit. We have somebody. Is it Marcus Philly? Marcus Philly. Oh, shit. We have somebody. Is it Marcus Philly? Marcus Philly's in the house. What's up, dude? We thought you were just doing bodybuilding.

Yeah. No, it's Charm Young and Marcus Philly. I'm going to let Taylor whoop up on a master's athlete. Oh, gee. How old are you? Really? You're a master? You look like you're 20.

What's up, guys? You look younger than Tyson. Marcus Philly stopped eating well. That's what happened. Hey, go walk closer to your router, buddy. Do you know what a router is? It looks like Marcus Philly got lip filler in his cheeks and his lips. That's exactly what I had happen. The power lines are way too close to your house. Power lines?

I would say it looks more like Marcus Billy and the Geico caveman fornicated. The Geico caveman. I love it. What a setup. I know. That's beautiful, isn't it? That's great. Hey, where are you, dude?

Is that like a swamp? He's in the Amazon. This is Shrek, dude. It looks like Florida. It's Texas. Oh, wow. Where you're not going, Taylor. Oh, shit.

What did he say? What did he say? Texas where you're not going. Oh, jeez. Alright, that was good. Fuck you, dude. I hope your kids can't hear me. Fuck you, bro. Hey, you're can't hear me. Fuck you, bro. Hey, you're going to get 12 mosquito bites in this workout, I bet.

No doubt. For sure. Hey, y'all are going to have to be my clock. Okay. We only have... How close are you to cutting that ponytail? How long have you been growing that? That is a goat.

To tell you the truth, I stopped growing it after the 2020 election. Is that a goat on a leash? It's not a goat. Hey, did you lose your virginity to that thing? Did you lose your virginity to the girl in purple or the goat? Which one? The girl. That's my wife.

Also, you can say hi to my kids. Oh, sorry. Damn's my wife. Also, you can say hi to my kids. Oh, sorry. Damn it. Dude. Hey, he looks like Ted Nugent on a family show. My side here. My kids over there. Guys, they got to go back inside.

They don't want to hear this. Oh, my goodness. All right. They're ready. Oh, my goodness. That's like Avi when he's 14. It's like he's heard it all. Kids, you have a beautiful mom and a lovely dad.

Congratulations. All right. Let's go, baby. Let's go, Michael. Yeah. We'll give you a five-second countdown when you give us the thumbs up. You're the first white guy competitor today. Is that true?

Good job. Yeah, the other two are Hispanic. Here we go. We need a black guy and an Asian guy, and we're all set. We can get off the air. What's this guy's name? Joel. It's Joel. Killian from... Alright, Joel. You ready? We'll start

when you go. Five, four, three, two, one, go. You don't have to yell, dude. Yes, he does. Alright, sorry, Hiller. My heart rate's a bit... Oh, he's... Yeah, two, one, go. You don't have to yell, dude. Yes, he does. All right. Sorry, Hiller. My heart rate's a bit – oh, he's – yeah, no shot.

Wow. Dude, that pull-up bar is high for him. Yeah, it is. He's not playing the system. He's not working the system like you. I don't know, dude. Are those the Smith grips? Did we check those grips?

I think those are outlawed now. Oh, those are definitely the Alex Smith grips. They have a jelking attachment. The jelkers? Are. The jelkers? Are those the jelkers? Hey, I hope someone's counting for him like his wife. Oh, he's already to a knee. Stop.

Stop that. That's a strategy. No, that's a strategy, dude. He's saving those legs. I can tell. No, that's fucking dumb. No, no, no, no, no. This guy knows how to take a knee.

I've seen him during the Pledge of Allegiance before. I'm about to get naked in the front room and change my shorts because they're wet. Oh, man. Look at that chin. Clearly over, no, no. This guy knows how to take a knee. I've seen him during the Pledge of Allegiance before. I'm about to take a naked front room and change my shorts because they're wet. Oh, man. Look at that chin. Clearly over the bar, though. At least we got that. This is probably the first guy that we've seen. I know. Exactly.

The rest of them have the freaking jowlsters stuck on their neck. They're trying to train someone. Dude, this looks like he lives on like a fucking nudist colony. Just like all the stacks of wood in the background, the outdoor gym. Oh, man. He's got a rope hanging. He's ready to rock. Do you leave those mats out at night and shit, or do you drag that shit in?

They don't steal that in Texas, Sebon. That's a California thing. Oh, wow. Do you leave those mats out? He's even got the barn box. That's an incredible setup. Wow. Look at that.

Dude, there aren't any alligators in Texas, are there? Yeah, there are. That's crazy. And he got a rope. Look at his rope in the back left. It looks like he rides an alligator. Or one rides him. Definitely rides a goat. He rolls around with him, dude.

He gets a death roll with the gator. And by gator, I just mean the friend he drinks with typically, the guy. Today's your last day to buy the Kill Taylor shirt. Go to vindicatevndk8.com. Return the favor for a discount code on my Kill Taylor shirt, Asymmetric Gears. Also, if Joel can win $500 from my toe spacers. No, the toe spacers. Oh, no.

What was that? He's on pace. Don't worry. What was that? He's not on pace. The go-to one. Oh, shit. Oh, no. What was that? He's on pace. Don't worry. He's not on pace. The go to one knee matchup. Oh, wow. He better rebound here.

There we go. You can make up time here if you go super fast. Oh, shit. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Is he resting or did his knee go out? Nine, ten. All right.

Oh, ten. There we go. Ghetto internet show. Hey Hey we know he showed capacity We're gonna give him those last couple reps It's probably 8, 9 He's got a bit of a dumper I can see him being a good crossfitter

It's only because the rest of him is so small dude He looks like he's 6'7 And he's bowlegged like Jason right Yeah he's got that. He just got off a horse for like a week stance. Yeah, totally. Hey, look where he lives. He rides that shit to work.

Jason, yeah, this guy looks like he rides horses. Jason looks like he rides men. So I would just say it's a different kind of bow-legged. 255. He needs to get off these bar muscles at 345 to be on pace. Jason will never call in because he doesn't want you to roast him on the air. 255. He needs to get off these bar muscles at 345 to be on pace. Oh, he's fucked. Jason will never call in because he doesn't want you to roast him on the air.

Jason couldn't handle me calling him a Neanderthal, but this is how Jason walks around the gym. He trusts his head. He looks like a troglodyte, dude. He has Cushing's disease. A troglodyte. Hey, that was a great pose, Taylor. That was amazing. I'm not even kidding. He's like a troglodyte, dude. He has Cushing's disease. Oh, a troglodyte. Hey, that was a great pose, Taylor.

That was amazing. I'm not even kidding. He's like, dude, why is my neck and back hurt all the time? You ever go to a chiropractor? He's like, dude, why do I always have back pain? And the guy's like, hey, stand up straight. He's like, oh. I can't believe you can even do that with your head.

All right, where's he at right now? Is that seven? This is the best looks like in the comments so far. Looks like Val Kilmer. Look at his son in the boots and the hat. Dude! Son! Son! Give your dad a kick in the butt with those things. Spur him!

Spur your dad. Spur him! Dude, his hat is sick. Rocking chair, pile of wood. Dude, that kid already knows how to freaking. That kid probably has his concealed carry permit, I would say. Absolutely. Hey, why does a goat have to be on a leash?

That's a good question. Why can't he just free range? It would probably jump on that box and shit. Probably skip the workout. Yeah, that's what good question. Why can't he just free range? It would probably jump on that box and shit. Probably do a workout. Yeah, that's what they do. No, the goat would try to ram its head into his butt when he's doing burpees. You know what I'm talking about? Yes, yes.

They let him go. They back up and fucking charge him. Yes. I heard Joel tapes a dildo to the goat's head every night. He's trained to ram. I bet his kid shoots that goat in the ball sack with a bb gun that too yes that's that's such a kid thing to do he's a he's a minute behind pace he's a minute behind a lot of kids do that dude i think just you dude i would never do that a great week on the kill taylor show

no tyler watkins no pedro oh did he learn the born primitives Dude, I would never do that. A great week on the Kill Taylor show. No Tyler Watkins, no Pedro. Oh, is he wearing the Born Primitives? Is he? Yeah, buddy, I think so, maybe. I don't think so. Dude, those look like the Savage Ones. Stop it.

They just look dirty. I think they're the new Go Ruckers. Are they? I have no idea. Those are dumb. $500 from Toe Spacers. No one's going to get it this week. Taylor seems to have a lot of goat knowledge for some reason. Here we go, Joel.

Final. It's the final. Push, push. He's going to pick it up here. This is where he excels. Joel, you got to push. Oh, yeah. He's really on pace.

Hey, you got to push here. Just dropping a knee for these first five, and then it's just fucking lightning after that, baby. Oh, my God. Hey, can you beat this dude, Tyson? Yeah, I can beat Taylor that, baby. Oh, my God. Can you beat this dude, Tyson? I can beat Taylor in this workout. Oh, okay. Hey, this dude's still going to get a good time.

This dude's going to get sub-7. You know what's so annoying, dude? Why does Instagram always ask me to edit my captions? Probably the swear words in them. Probably the offensive language in them. Probably the offensive language in them. I don't know. Pussy is not offensive. Let's go, Joel.

It would be cool if you did this show instead of using your Instagram when you're on it. Hey, I'm sharing the show's content. I'm sharing the workout, Savon. Okay, fine. Yeah, sharing it. Dude, he's got ADD. He can't keep his head in one spot for more than four seconds. I do have ADD.

Yeah, go daddy! You heard the goats. The goats even cheering. It's getting real out there. It's getting real. What's the goat's name? That's what I wonder. I bet it's called, I bet it's name's Taylor. Oh, dude, Jedediah says I prefer goats over sheep

because I like that they fight back. That's something that a guy named Jedediah would come up with, dude. Jedediah sounds – dude, you sound like you milk goats with your mouth, bro. It's fucking biblical. Shut up, Jedediah. Oh, shit. Hey, daddy daddy you're on pace heidi krum tyson looks like my mom when she first wakes up heidi i think is a 35 year old embodiment of like that six year old girl on the playground who makes fun of people that she wants to fuck. But then I think you're so ugly.

Heidi, that's cause Tyson wakes up next to your mom. Hey, you can't blame her. It looks like Tyson just took his curlers out. Come on, be cool. Come on. Look at that. Oh, it's amazing. Shit has been flowing crazy lately. Yeah, it has. Let it bang. Joel!

Come on. Sub A, buddy. Sub A. Let's go. Look, his son's not even watching anymore. His son's so disappointed. Devon, I swear to God, if I hear you cheer for one more person trying to kill Taylor, you're out.

I'm kicking you out of the show. You're out. You're fucking out. Listen, he's at the eight minute mark. Yeah, out. I'm kicking you out of the show. You're out. You're fucking out. He's at the eight-minute mark. We should kick him off the show. Oh, no, don't kick Joel off. I like Joel. All right.

I like Joel, too. Joel, you beat me. Joel Westerlin, you did a great job, Joel. Joel Westerlin, you did a great job. Crushed you, Joel. Joel, you beat us. You beat me, Joe. Joe, you beat us. You beat me, dude. No, I didn't.

Hey, what was the hardest part? What was the hardest part? Well, listening to us. I'm seven months removed from the torn rotator cuff, labrum, and biceps tendon. Jeez. Hey, I like to say that. Okay, fine.

Nice. Hold on. I think I have the world's smallest bin. Okay. Augustus Link. Yay! Wow. Wow.

Hey, we're at an hour, three minutes. Fuck you, dude. Is that your hostess? Look, it's Matt Chan when he was 16. Oh, who did put that in the chat It's Matt Chan when he was 16. Oh, who did put that in the chat? Somebody did put that in the chat. What? I'm going to put it in the chat so I figured it out.

250 bucks for a Sentinel athlete? Augustus, if you shit the bed even a little bit, we got to go. The show's running late, so you better put on a fucking show, dude. Send it. Don't try to pace this shit. All right. I'll see you fuck around at all. We're out of here.

If you beat me, I'm canceling your fucking membership. If I don't, does that mean you're not programming well enough? Oh, yeah. Hey, good to see you, buddy. Thanks for doing this. If he beats you, I'm sending him $250 for wearing this shirt. Dude, him and Colton work out together all the time dude 500 bucks toe spacers and 250 from me someone get ready on the clock here on the show is that oh wow look colton cheering him on colton colton colton let me just tell you something bro

shut up hey colton's not doing it because he's afraid of the box i'm telling you 100 dude if you keep telling colton he's afraid he he's going to call in and fuck my ass. So stop doing that. That's what we're here for. Good ass fucking on the show. Joking and plugging. Oh, man.

This dude is serious as shat. Let's go. Let's do it. When you're ready, buddy. Gustus Link, legend in the chat. Look at that little clock. That's nice. It's called a bird.

A bird? Yeah. Three, two, one, go. Tyson, what do you think? He got it, this guy? Oh, shit. He ain't got it. He's going to blow.

Oh, let's see it. Yeah. Bar looks high. He's going to blow. Oh, let's see it. Yeah. Bar looks high. He's taking that break next game. But he's coming out hard, and he's throwing himself down better than the other guys. Fuck yeah. He's going to pound town right now with that chest, and I love to see it. Yep. Me too. Jeremy, I don't know if that's what – I don't think Colton wants that to be the reference that you make to him beating me.

Eating my ass? Who wrote that? Jeremy, world. Colton enjoyed how Taylor's ass tasted once more. I can tell you this, bro. I can tell you one thing. My ass does not taste good, bro. How do you know?

He knows. Because I smell it every morning, dude. I sit on the toilet and smell what comes out of it. That's aggressive. Some of the work-melling foods taste the best, though. Should he not have that pad under him when he's doing that? He can.

He's making the bar a little closer. But doesn't it make it harder to jump? You're losing a little bit of that energy transfer and then also the burpee. Look how squishy it is. He went fast on the first few. I hope he doesn't blow up. I hope he does blow up.

He's killing it. 155's the time to beat, guys. 155 coming off the first 30 burpees. He beats me regularly on the Sentinel workouts. 30 burpee pull-ups, 20 box jump-overs all the way over the box. 10 burpee bar pull-ups, 20 box jump-overs all the way over the box, 10 burpee bar muscle-ups, 20 box jump-overs all the way over the box, and then 30 burpee pull-ups, time to beat 6'12". This will be

the last guy for the day. He was like 100-something in the West, quarterfinals. Like low 100s, like 101 or 107 or some shit like that. Yeah, he... Alright. Let's go, Augustus! Oh, he's already fucked. No way, Jose way That little swing and that

lands every time is no good There's some sort of land so far in front of the bar Right now yeah he's done Is he counting right? There's no way he hasn't done 30 I know that's what I said Dude what

Augustus that's 52. Dude, he looped the video. Oh, here we go. Yeah. He looks athletic. Oh, yeah. This way he makes up time. We'll let him go to the bar muscle-ups.

He looks athletic. All right, Augustus. All right, Augustus. Is he already that far off base? I would say that the only person who looked athletic doing these box show and burgers was Taylor. Really? Yeah, me too.

Yeah. This does not look athletic. Well, better than the other guys. Gus, hurry up. Heidi wants to eat your butt meat. Butt meat. Dude, what? Hey, I got a hemorrhoid removed once.

And so I – Let him finish. dude what hey i got a hemorrhoid removed once and so i and so let's finish i want to hear about this heard of a thrombosed hemorrhoid no okay it's like it's it's no it's external and it's where like the blood inside of it clots really hard so it's like a marble or like a grape but harder and so i had to go, I was going to do a qualifier and I got that hemorrhoid and I could barely like fucking bend over, sit down. So I went to a doctor, a specialist, and he was like, listen, he was like, look, I can either like, either we're going to like drain it or cut it off or leave it. But either way you shouldn't work out for two weeks. And I was like, well, I've definitely got to do a qualifier in two days. So you have to do what you think is most appropriate for me to be able to do this in two days. Cause I'm doing it no

matter what. He lands. Yeah. So he, no, he didn't lance it. So he numbs it up with anal Novocaine, whatever. I don't know what specifically that is, but like some sort of anal numbing agent. And, uh And I just hear him snipping away. I'm like bent over one of those chairs, and I just hear snip, snip, snip. And he cuts this fucking massive hemorrhoid off my butthole. And so now I – uh-oh, the camera turned off. You censored. It's okay.

Keep going with the story. Keep going with the story. You guys can hear me? All right, hold on. I'm going to put the – Celebrating Juneteenth. Are you good? Okay.

Okay. So he cuts it off. I just turned it to laptop. What the... Celebrating Juneteenth. Okay, so he cuts it off. I just turned it to laptop. So he cuts it off, dude. So now I have butt labias, kinda. There's still remnants of the hemorrhoid

there? Dude, I have butt meat. It's crazy. So it hangs out a little bit? You got flaps from where the hemorrhoid used to be? He's got a wizard sleeve. He's got a wizard sleeve. He's got the wizard sleeve. I hate it. The wizard sleeve. Don't jump on the box.

Oh, my God. I'm going to piss my pants. He's a minute off pace. All right, Augustus. That was fun. All right. Holy fuck. My abs.

No, it's his inner day. He's actually done with the workout. Dude, Augustus did 100 more reps than I did. Dude. Why don't we kick him off? We should have said five. Augustus, thank you. Augustus.

Taylor Self, champion. Next week will be $1,000. It'll probably be worth Taylor Colton's time then. Tyson Bajent, Always a pleasure having you Andrew Hiller You're a man amongst boys We will Stand by

Go check Tyson out at his Instagram account Type in Tyson Bajent He'll be doing the workout live in five minutes On his Instagram Oh Travis Brault I'm ready I'm ready Travis Brault

Oh man Oh Augustus Fuck that's not minutes on his Instagram. Oh, Travis Brault. I'm ready. I'm ready. Travis Brault. Oh, man. Oh, Augustus. Fuck, that's not... What a Gus's comment. Listen, I'll kick Taylor's ass right now. He gets fucking ass. I'm Travis Brault. Holy shit.

No, Augustus, you're great. You're a good way to end the show Matt Suze executive producer of the show Caleb Beaver from the Starlink God Starlink sucks Caleb is the beaver God damn that shit's horrible That's some good beaver right there So much for me moving to Armenia and using Starlink

Any final words For the fans of Kill Taylor Dude if Travis Brault's ready pull him on dude fuck him calling us now He had an hour and 11 minutes Shut up John young got 559 and I got 522 already Three shows with John Young anything shit Okay Tyson would you like to say anything are you writing with your calligraphy pen right now dear journal and you got me i like how you turn your head sideways when you write it's like

it's like pisto picturesque yes no hey uh but now shout out to the matuthian uh my teeth never teeth never felt better so or look better so i think about you every morning when i brush my teeth i'll be venting on you five,000 for that line. Thank you for fulfilling your end of the contract. Well worth it. Hey, someone walked up to me yesterday at a party actually I was at, and they had their Matoothian with them, and they said, look, I finished a whole jar. Do you sign this Matoothian?

I should have signed it. You should have. Taylor, any final words? Can you give us an idea what the workout will be hard next week like this one? I have no idea what the workout next week is going to be, but I'm going to try to make it hard, like super hard. Not hard barrier to entry, but like really painful. Yeah.

Thank you to Toastbacers. Thank you to Joel for having to go on the show. Hey, dude, time out. Are we confirmed to be in NorCal for the NorCal Classic? Oh, yeah, I think we are. I think we're pretty. Yeah, dude. We are all Are we confirmed to be in NorCal for the NorCal Classic? Oh, yeah, I think we are. I think we're pretty. Fuck yeah, dude. We are all staying in an Airbnb together, right?

And Colton's rooming with me, Little Spoon, Big Spoon. Yeah, what weekend is that? I'm Big, I'm Little Spoon, actually. Colton would fuck me up in a wrestling. If I tried to pick Colton, he would fucking kill me. Oh, what weekend is that? Do you know what weekend that is? 6th, 7th, 8th of September.

I'm looking where Tyson's going to be that week. Oh, he plays the Titans. Sheesh, nice. September 8th. 10 a.m. That's week one. That's week one. Oh, shit.

Of the regular season? Yep. I'm not going to look for Derek Kittredge. Are you going to win NorCal Classic? Yeah, I'm going to fuck everyone's butt. It depends on the workouts, but potentially. You beat Colton too? If there's a swim workout, I'm beating everyone in that.

If there's a trail run workout, I'm beating everyone in that. If there's kayaking again, definitely beating everyone in that. Kayaking. Dude, they did a 5K kayak last year. I know. I saw it. That was cool. I was there last year.

I'm going to be there this year. You're going? Cool. If there's an 800-meter sprint for time, I'm probably going to take dead last. Toe Spacers, thank you for the $500. Jeffrey Birchfield, Tyson, good luck this season. My man, thank you, Jeffrey. And Sousa, thank you.

Hiller, thank you. Dude, we got to go to a fucking game, all of us. That would be awesome. Y'all let me know. Y'all let me know what works for y'all. Oh, stage. That would be awesome. 100%.

Just everyone from the Sevan podcast go to one game and sit in one section. Everybody. It'd be awesome. 100%. Just everyone from the Sebon podcast, go to one game and sit in one section and fucking be crazy. Oh, yeah. Alright, guys. We'll see you next Saturday, 8 a.m. Pacific Standard Time. Thanks for joining us. Bye-bye.