The Sevan Podcast - KT #27 | $1000 Up For Grabs!

Episode Date: December 11, 2024

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Trying to escape the holiday playlist. Well, it's not going to happen here. Leave the cold for a sunny location, Fa la la la la, la la la la Ditch the mittens, grab the lotion, Fa la la la la, la la la la With Sunwing's Seasons of Savings on now, why not ditch the cold and dive straight into sun? Visit your local travel agent or Sunwing.ca All right BAM BAM BAM BAM Oh That's not true that 40% off things not true that's a commercial That's an old commercial Shit, that's an old commercial

Nice, dude. Don't thank you the spirit of it's true professional fitness athlete group President Sevan Matosi in the house Tyler Watkins a shirt. Thank you. I'm the treasurer of the pee-fag Matt Hey Susa so many people were telling me what an incredible resource. Uh, uh, they call it by its right name. I always call it Matt Susan school with a K, but they called it your, uh, your media. Yeah. Your media launch, probably a half dozen affiliates are like, holy shit. It's the greatest resource in the space. Hold on. Hey, babe, I just was calling

you to tell you, I love you. I'm alive on the air now. I Love you, too. I'll call you when the show's over Pedro white from coffee pods and wads the only person still interviewing CrossFit athletes and Andrew Hiller from Hiller fit and the the bang bus at the binge Bros in the house. Will Branstetter on the back end. No, no, that's me. That's me with the jakey one I made last minute in case. In case. Well, paper street coffee gives our biggest prize of the year in the history of the show. $1,000 a week for five weeks. And well, it's four weeks. And then on Christmas, we're doing a special show

so uh and yet we don't have an overlay for them that's how much we care about our sponsors um i don't know what the fuck is going i'm kicking Bryson off why because he's not is he moving that that camera's frozen no no it's moving a little bit it's moving oh shit i'm not going to be able to watch the workout that's crazy what do you mean? I'm at a hotel and I can't see shit Yeah, you're right. You're 16-incher Yeah 16 inches. Oh That's great the workout they work out. God. I'm a wreck You sound good. You sound healthy. The workout is this

Someone else will someone else read it? Yeah, it's four times, nine rope climbs, 15 foot, 15 sandbag loads, 150 for the guys, 150 for the ladies, over a 48 inch box, 21 bar muscle ups, 15 sandbag loads, nine rope climbs again. Now the kick is the first three rope climbs of each set of nine are legless. The kick. The kick.

I'm gonna have to be on all fours for the loads. Why would you have to be? Dude, I almost just made confidence. Just trying to get the standard right. Yes, you do have to be on all fours to take a load. Bryson, when will you be ready? I think Taylor's ready in a minute. Yeah, man.

Okay, let me show you Caleb's twin brother that has Down syndrome. You guys have probably never seen him before. Oh good, that one didn't say 40% off. Paper Street Coffee the whole month of December. I probably wouldn't be sick if I had Paper Street Coffee. I'm broadcasting live from a hotel room with a balcony in the great city of Atlanta. Wow Atlanta is different than California. Holy shit. Holy shit. I like Atlanta. I've never really been Hey, we need a CTO for the PFAG if you want to be at Shoving CAC. That's a perfect. Actually Shoving CAC is the leader of the CAC.

Alright going in 10 seconds. PFAG. Alright, I guess I gotta watch over on a it's weird it streams on YouTube for me, but I can't see it in Streamyard. Three, two, one, go. What's up with these Ronald McDonald ass shoes we got on here? Those are the best Macons ever created. the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the-

the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the-

the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- That's three down legless are done. The kick is over Hiller No, it's not

Hey, is that a real movement a bag load what is a bag load? I'm just gonna put it on that platform and how does it get down from the platform? He pushes it down unload Right or what? I think he just gonna roll it over the top over He's gonna pull it back. Isn't that like foreskin? Pulling back loads. Hey isn't that isn't that a strongman event like pedestal? Load taking? Loading? Edging the bag. Stoltman? the the the game. Would you prefer it over a yoke or do you like this better. I think I like this better. I did I hated over you know I like it over over the

boxes as well. These four oh **** look at this. The site is forty percent off until the show is over and if he loses everyone gets free coffee on top of their order. Whole lot. the nobody. Tyler Tyler is I'm doing time I can't do both that's asking a lot. That's a. God Taylor. Forty percent off all papers well coffee make sure you spell out you don't spell out street P. A. P. R. S. T. coffee all coffees forty percent everything on the site forty

percent off for the duration of the show. Yeah, I was right. I guessed 12 12. What I went when we were trying to figure out what his reps were. I said 12 and then I counted to 15 and that's when he quit. So I must've been right. What was the time on that? Two 43. I'm I I'm like 10 seconds behind you

guys watching. He looks so weird. That's always strange. Doesn't he look weird? Little little hunty. Yeah. Yeah. Like he's a lifetime rower. You ever see people who spent a lot of time on a row team? They look like that. They're going

to go unbroken or you think he breaks it like sixteen because he's wearing one of Bryson's oversized shirts. What's the plan Bryson? What's he going to do? going? He originally said he was going to break on purpose but I don't

know. He said he was going to go unbroken last week and he broke by the way, vindicate VE VNDK vindicate.com. You can get your PFag shirt. He's coming down. Is he selling PFag shirts? There's no way. I don't think so. But you made sure today, but he made it for me and I was so excited when I saw it.

I opened it up. I'm like, oh, this is amazing. Got that weird cousin. You don't know what to buy for. I got sent him one to. 453 57 could you imagine Travis sending everyone on the council the the PFA council

PFA sure. We can get those addresses. For a split second you know they'd be reading it like oh this is nice. And Jenny, Jenny. Thank you. Look at that. Come on, Taylor. This is where you get soft and lose. Yeah. Don't get soft like that bag. You pee fag. How much does that bag weigh 150? 150. It's crazy. That's so much seven ways. Yep. Yeah. Especially after I'm sick like this. Oh, I think we'll text us. There might be an update It's crazy. That's how much Sevan weighs. Yep. Yeah. Especially after I'm sick like this.

Oh, I think we'll text us there might be an update or something. An update on what? Actually supporting our sponsor or incredible sponsor thousand dollars this week. So no, it's a better goes down easier than your mom. Wow. Wow. Holy shit. I got to upload that. That's paper street coffee. It goes down easier than your mom. That's brilliant. Jeez. Come on, Taylor. I don't know, man. My mom's pretty easy. That's brilliant. I'm pretty sad to watch him do this first language rope one because this will wipe out your biceps. Pedro that Irish guy that Sevan's turned us all onto here lately if I have my eyes closed. I think it's you Okay Oh you already you already uploaded that that was fast

Why is it coming up on top? Because it's not transparent It is transparent. I mean, yeah, just not our section Gabe gives us the greatest deal in the history of fucking discounts and we can't even fucking support it. It's kind of nice that it's flashing. It's like it. Yeah.

You know, instead of an overlay, what's he doing? He's got your money's worth. He lost the contact. He's looking for a contact lens on the floor. Can you not remove the overlay and put it up as a background? No, do you background of what we're all screened? You don't. Yeah, but we'd be on top of it then. Oh, I see what you're saying.

That's what I do on mine. This is not a podcast that interviews athletes. It doesn't work for this. Hey, we don't actually do our own shit. We don't know what we're doing. He really not going to interview athletes. It doesn't work for this. Hey, man, we don't actually do our own **** We don't know what we're doing. He really he really slowed down. I think

you'll see now like. Well, I get to use my legs guys. Look at this. We've distracted Taylor. He can't can't hear us. No, I don't think so. There's no clear line of where he's supposed to be touching It's that black gray area. Yeah, but it's sort of ombre a little bit. So it's hard to tell it's hell of fucking blurred imagine I sent out a link. I

Hey, if that link doesn't work, let me know. I don't know what I'm doing today. Dang. I hope that Seagull from last week calls in again and whoops up on him. Sorry guys. We all have COVID from the super spreader event known as Thanksgiving. Someone, someone called, I don't know if it was Susie or Caleb or someone or text them and is like, Hey, can I get a link for, can you tell me what the workout is so I can set it up for Colton tomorrow? It's like You

Going for something because he took an extra good job 749 49 49. Thank you, Bryce. How about we send you a bat and you hit Colton in the legs with it? So he doesn't steal our money I think it's gonna be a good time. Caden Frost is great. Oh, nice. I agree. COVID is about as real as the moon landing.

Both of those are fake. Didn't call the start in the lab on the moon. Dude, Trump was shot in the ear. You fucking douche. I hate you. There is a frost commercial. Okay, try it. Try that one. And if that doesn't work, I give up. Where is it? 40% off as long as the show is going. Guess what?

See people. Yeah. Eight hours show. Yep. Yep. Watch us put Gabe out of business. Those noises made me very angry. Makes sense. Hmm. That would, yeah, definitely make sense.

I don't like. Bryson, what's the deal, buddy? Chime in. How'd he do? I think he did pretty good. He's pretty smoker now. It looks not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. He did say beforehand that he thought that was gonna be the hardest one that he's done so far But she says that kind of free every but not every week Every other week. Yeah, he looks pretty bad He looks pretty bad 40% off paper street coffee right now if you bought a last week if you bought a What I don't know what it's called Gift card. Thank you. Gift card. You're stoked. Boy, you are struggling.

Oh, dude, I am wrecked. Who the fuck is that? What's up, dude? Hello? Hey. Hey, so I'm in the middle of a hot marathon. Is the ICE chasing you? Yeah.

Yeah. I'm a landlady. La Migra. La Migra. I'm not sure I understand. You guys, this is Miguel. He's at the end of the line. I'm not sure I understand. You guys, this is Miguel. He's at the end of the line. the the the the

the the the the the the the the the running and only sentinel training so y'all losers better fucking sign up hey hey Miguel if you win

Bryson will suck your dick you get a coupon for anyone who does sentinel it takes first place in a half marathon gets a blowjob from Bryson second he'll still consider it. He'll call. Sorry. Just wanted to say that. Thanks for letting me on the show. Yeah, love you, buddy. Thanks for checking in. Keep it up. All right, good luck. God, I love this show.

I felt like running. Geez, Louise, this is a great show. What a good dude. The only thing wrong is the fact that he was running. He was in fifth place. He didn't tell us that the marathon started a hundred meters ago though. Right. Right.

I want the coyotes to have a race between each other. I think that would be cool. They do it every day. I want to see him run away from tier one operators. That's what I want to see the race. Uh, you can win a thousand dollars right now, like right now. That's what I want to see the race. You can win $1,000 right now, like right now. And it only usually takes us six to eight months to get you the money.

But you can win it now. And all you got to do is some rope climbs and a sandbag load and some bar muscle ups and some more sandbag loads and nine rope climbs. And what's cool is even girls could do this. No, not really. Oh, never mind. What does it do? Is it the 48-inch? Is it the 48-inch?

You don't think Megawa could beat him? Not currently. Aren't you all torn up, like, her ankle or arm? No Achilles and no Tom. Yeah, she's kind of boned there. the bucks till next week. I'd like to see Big Bird call in and see if he can beat him on this. He couldn't. I think is a, an overlay into the group there, but I don't know if it's going to work either. So pretty sure it's bill Leahy and yellow host a week. That's it.

Um, yeah, the host is doing fit fest. So, oh, McGuire can't pick that bag up. What's fit. That's the guy we crushed pick that bag up. What's FitFest? McGuire will be crushed into that bag. FitFest is where Colton's going and it's two teams and I don't know what they do. Colton's competing this weekend. Yeah, who would have known? FitFest is 23 athletes from a mix of Europe and the rest of the world

gathering together to celebrate Colton Mertens in Birmingham, UK. Hey, dude. Hey, listen, that would have gotten so much publicity if they did that. Just made it all about Colton. Hey, where does one go to watch Colton Mertens do this thing? You can watch PC stream it on his phone or you can watch Jason CF Media interview people, but you can't actually watch anything. Does it does it make sense what they're doing or no?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Cole, it's different this week for the month of December. One thousand dollars each week. Thanks. Because of our lovely sponsor, who's not on the screen. Listen, listen, thank you for, thank you. Cause I was like, God, this is going to be a mouthful. Cole, hi.

Every week of December, it's a thousand dollars. There'll also be a show on December 25th. For $25,000. Yeah, on Christmas, not for 25,000. Bro, Houston is, not for 25. I celebrate Thanksgiving. Can I inquire as to the time of the show on December 26th? No, don't worry about it. You'll be there. Hey, and listen, you guys,

it's 40% off right now at paper street. How good is this? While the show is live. I want that shirt so bad. What is that? It's a Nakatomi plaza. It's from diehard. Oh, that's cool. And then I thought I said Nagasaki plaza. Greatest Christmas movie of all time. Nagasaki. How is anyone even watching the show? You should be at Paper Street coffee buying coffee. Two tabs coach Ella link Taylor is that cool? Yeah yeah and then this

week and then he's going to have to call in and somehow teleport to Charlotte and bounce on my dick fifty times. I want to make that thing coach L. he's like what are what are the rules for your little competition? What little competition with you and coach L nobody knows because he suggested it and I asked him what the fuck a programming competition was and

he got his fucking anal beads on and not your own competition. It was good. Hey dude, did you know that, um, Taylor, did you know that some dude called who does doing a half marathon, uh, and he does Sentinel training. Did you know that um, Taylor did you know that some dude called who does doing a half marathon? And he does sentinel training. Did you hear that or were you? No, I didn't hear anything. Oh god We sent a guy a link and he was running just now and he was in fifth place. Damn will brandstetter What a fucking stud where did he show up? Yeah. Look at he changed the overlay

Thanks, well Yeah, look at he changed the overlay. Oh, thanks, Will. Are you sick? Weber. Dude, I'm so sick. It's crazy because I was sick and then I got better and then last night when I woke up this morning, I was sick again. So you didn't get better. I mean, I thought I walked through the metal detector and it activated the COVID. I guess I stayed up too late.

You think this week's 40% off sale is good. Wait till it wait. Wait till next week. Yeah. 41% paper street coffee. It goes down easier than your mom. Holy fuck. You think this 40% sale off is good way for next week because it'll be 30% and then you'll realize how good last week was. Yeah. I'm not sure if you guys can realize how good last week was. Yeah. It is. Yeah. Yeah. I hate it when they do a sale on stuff and then they're like the last

week, they're like, alright, 50% off when it was like 25% the week before. guys, we had a storm here last night. What? We had a storm. Drink mouth addiction? No, the stay salty cans of shit. Here. I love them. Hey, what do you mean you had a storm? Like immigrants were riding on the

street illegal immigrants? No, that's an orgy. And it was a wow, like a named they give it a name. So that's when you know it's bad. It's pretty bad. Our trampoline moved like three inches. So Wow, wow. So that's when you know it's bad. It's pretty bad. Our trampoline moved like three inches. So wow. Wow. How the **** do you know that? Because

it's not where it was yesterday. I like how you guys had a tsunami that decided to just not show up. Who was? No, California. Hey, that wasn't fake. They freak everybody out and program something into our brains. That was real. Cole Taylor, I ordered a Sentinel shirt. Would you hurry up the fuck up and send me that shit?

I'll drive right over and drop it off along with a fat shit wrapped up in it. That would be awesome. Marketing 101 by the CEO of Sentinel Training. All right. Go ahead. I gotta take a piss. I must spawn moment from the coach out situation was when he tried to call me on Instagram and I told him that would be 375 for a face to face and then shout out to our January promo I told him

if he signed up for Sentinel that he'd get a 30 minute session with me and Bryson. Fuck you guys. Here's Coachella I think of Coachella like the concerts. Coachella. When did I use my feet for one of my legless? No, you didn't. Yeah, Glee's a fucking pussy. I'll defend it to the death.

Did I, Hiller? I didn't see you using your feet on any of your legless, no. Thank you. We got any call-ins coming or is our call-in guy is pissing now, so no call-ins? Yeah, go to the pool. Thank you. We got any call in coming or is our our calling guy is pissing now. So, no call ins. Yeah, that's the last one. We're exposed. That's

the hardest workout I've done yet. No, dude. The hardest workout you did was the burpee Dragg of double under one where you jumped into the pool after it knocks. Um that one maybe I I think that's the one where you on the drag rope Burby. I it. Where did you feel it? where did you feel it? Well, it was really metabolic like I'm like, Barry, he got beaten coming off the bar muscle ups murdered. Yeah. What would we do if you were sick like me? What would we do? How would we do the fucking workout? And he did it sick once, didn't he?

Yeah, we do a hundred burpees for time. I've already done. I've already done. Taylor's sick. I'll be fine doing it. Sick. Next week, we're going to have to get creative with the time, though, because we're moving into our new house. I don't do it later. Do it like 3 p.m.

Yes. See, I'll be good. Maybe five. I don't know. Yeah. Maybe 5 p.m. Even better. Hey, dude, it's going to be $2,000 next week. Oh, yeah. Oh, it's added a thousand dollar added every week. Yeah

That's right, Liz Me and bryson caught this baby squirrel and it gave me bryson lizzie and bryson's broken marriage squirrel flu What the fuck? I remember that That's not real. I never believed that story. That's something Hiller would believe. No, dude. Well, it's 100% true. We had the worst fucking flu of my life

on the harvest of that baby ass squirrel. We got a weak immune system if you're getting flu from a squirrel, bro. I was sucking Bryson's dick and I caught a squirrel, but I think it's a squirrel that made me sick. The doctor told me it's gonorrhea but I know what it really is. It's squirrel flu. Fake news.

The squirrel flu real? No. Yes it is. No dude he's a fuck. He doesn't use it all to make bathtub masks. Dude that's some fucked up hicks Southern shit Taylor's talking about. Do you know how many squirrels I've eaten and I've never gotten flu one time? Thank you. It's a live squirrel.

You fucking retard. It wasn't cooked. They were alive before I shot them. Wow. Oh, you ate raw squirrel? No, but you got a rub all over the squirrel. Why do you eat squirrel? Dude, have you ever eaten squirrel?

It's fucking amazing. It's basically a North Korean. It's like, okay, if you're gonna eat a squirrel, you might as well eat a fucking a rat, a New York City sewer rat. Wow. It's the same thing, bro. It's disgusting. Roughly the same. You guys never watch naked and afraid that TV show? Oh, yes, I have. Do you see the one where that guy caught like a hundred rats and gained weight while he was on the show? Wow. One guy keeps killing the electric eels and he gets shot. He's like, Oh, fuck. And you like staff. Oh, dude, that's awesome. I didn't

see that. I love that show. What does a podcast in American to American guys, one of them is like, I don't know, he's Asian or some description. That's like a comedy podcast. But I don't know, I could be he's like, hey, what does dog taste like? And he's like, apparently, and he goes, drop that apparently shared and he goes, do this. Yeah. Bobby. Okay, I just took 3000 milligrams of vitamin C. Maybe that'll help. Oh, shit. It won't.

Guys, don't. Don't you just piss out the vitamin C that you don't, sorry, vitamin C. No, fart all the fucking pint of cum, Sevan. It'll soothe your throat. Wow. Go outside, touch a squirrel, it'll counteract. Wait, how much cum? Let me write that down.

What was the amount? What was the dose? It's based on your body weight. One time. little counteract wait how much how much come let me write that down what what was the amount what was it yeah it's based on our body weight 1.2 per pound of 2.2 millimeters per pound of a big fucking it depends on how fluid it is Are you taking it intravenously or orally? Oh, turkey pacer. Jeez. Okay, I just drank some. You're right, I feel better already. Hey, by the way, that is one of the rules for PFag is to be a premium member, you have to send me a vial of semen.

What does PFag? What does PFag? Professional fitness athlete group. It's my organization. He went the wrong way. Oh, fuck that. That's how PF Athlete Group. It's my organization That's how PFACs do it it's unorthodox We play by our own rules. Who's the biggest PFAC? Well, we like to go nut-to-butt and find out. Hey respectfully respectfully There's this this show does more for CrossFit and the professional athletes, if you want to call them that, then PFA will ever do in its existence.

What week is this? Is this 27? This is just one of our offerings. Okay, hold on, hold on, hold on. 29. It says 29. Let me speak to our stakeholders. Did I write it down wrong? Guess how much money you've given away. $29,500? the Hey, that's the magic Pedro. Wow. That's the coolest magic. Listen, that's the coolest fucking part. We're the only show in the space that can say we've taken no money from the show and have given it exclusively to contestants calling in.

Yep. I mean, money back, but Suzy gave the fucking affiliate video to some chumps down in fucking Chile or wherever the fuck they were. Yeah. I know it's it's Suza's working for the fucking FBI or China. He sent all the fucking money out of the country. Hey, did I have foreign assets? Don't mean you guys got to be mad. It's some guy named Jose, some chick named Lee Wing Liu and then some chick named Josefina. Like it's all. Yeah, I would have had to make that wire. Sounds like a Ponzi scheme or something dude getting the money to Thailand was like crazy

There's no way that money's coming from my account. I'm like no Chris you're wiring this Travis from vindicate who's gonna make the first post about Seve's offensive shirt listen no one will say shit to me some fucking Seve's offensive shirt. Listen, no one will say shit to me. Some fucking pedophile might say something on Reddit, but no one will fucking dare say a fucking peep. Nobody. Who are ready? One of those shirts. Okay, I'll have him wear it. That kicks 10% of the big guy. Hey, if you think

about it, the crossing games, they collect like the three million dollar prize purse and they give that away too. Yeah, yeah. Take a lot of it too. Uh didn't the games like just lose money every year? Isn't that how that

worked? Did they give all of the money away to athletes? No, it just went all into the the event in itself. Hey, I'll tell you this. Us and CrossFit are the only two organizations actually giving back to athletes. Yeah. So, that's

crazy. So, technically, it's us and Coca Cola are the two biggest uh fitness industry players. Yeah. Hey, and I'll tell you this, the games didn't lose money this year. If Dave still works there. Oh damn, that's cool. Yeah. He donates his own money. How does that work?

I'm just telling you like if the, if the, if the way with private equity in charge, if that thing lost money, he'd be toast. Yeah, that's true. Just like the last guy, huh? Yeah. Listen to this paper street coffee 40% off while the show is live enormous tits I actually just got six bags of coffee for 25 bucks when you buy $150 gift card for $50 Wow

picture someone with their kid dude it's just crazy we just sent all this stuff we did about money you give away you're like it here we have a comment from enormous tits. Oh, my goodness. Speaking of money, like how much tier most just have a bottomless pit of money like green if you're making Grinch shoes. Fuck for the second year in a row. They're a hot commodity, dude. You don't even get it.

And my favorite thing about that, though, is the athletes pretending that they're actually not pieces of shit like oh guys You gotta get these shoes. It's like okay fucking where the public then I demand Pat and Brent lose their peer contracts dude. It's like they're they're like newscasters pushing the Vax like newscasters pushing the Vax. I love it. You know, everybody gets fucked up. It's like, no, no, no, no, no, we're fine. My favorite part about true nutrition is the ability to customize my own supplement. I've been looking all over for specific greens supplement that

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Ontario. A real Matthew, a winner on KillTaylor before says he got 56 cans of frost for $6 using the gift card. Crazy. That's crazy. You sound like shit, dude. I what do you mean? I just did I just swallowed down a pint of cum. I'm getting better by the second. You actually did? You wouldn't sound so bad.

Yeah, I did. He's on the life force regiment. He relapsed. He's cheap and cigs right before this show. Whose cum did you guzzle? I guzzled so much cum, it's coming out of my pores. Wow. Just, can you imagine- Actually, do you think- Listen, this is a genuine- I don't want to imagine whatever you're about to say. Oh my wow. Just can you imagine? Do you think? Listen, this is a genuine.

I don't want to imagine whatever you're about to say. My God. Do you think you could actually fucking guzzle? Do you think you could girdle a fucking shot of cum without throwing up? No. Yes. Wait a second. Whose cum is it? Do you know? All right. All right.

It's John Young's cum. It's John Young's. Oh, my God. I don't know. It's John Young's. Oh my god. No, it's gonna taste like Ovaltine. So it'll be fine. It tastes like John Young's comedy. Hey, I can do that. It's like hot panties. Again. It's like fucking Oscar Meyer Franks and fucking buffalo sauce. Buffalo sauce probably. It just tastes like McDonald's smells. It smells like a snail fucking large fry.

You got a six. You're supposed to sip. Oh god. It's a delicacy. Treat it right. A pinky in the air. Welcome to the greatest show on the internet where we have the fittest man in the world, Taylor Self.

He does a workout. All you have to do is do the workout. And then we give you a thousand bucks if you beat him. You just got to do it live. Caleb will make sure the clock is on point for you. Everything's fair. We let some shitty reps slide. Don't be a pussy and try to win.

Thank you. Taylor, for a hundred million dollars, would you guzzle Mike Halpin's come? Yes. I'd guzzle my comments. I'd do a forum. I I probably do it for 70k We get a go fund me started for that price 70k and I get to smack him in the back of the head as hard as I can with an open hand that wasn't the rules The donkey punch or something? What is that? 70k and I really, it would be so

satisfying to just smack the fuck out of him as hard as you could. I made, oh after the Coach L thing he made this fucking post. After you drank his cum. After I made the Coach L or after me, whatever, after I fucking butt fucked Coach L L Mike Halpin made this post like see me and Taylor are the only two people defending Intellectual property rights in space. I didn't even realize he like posted that but he tagged me and I haven't blocked because he's a pussy but Frank survived yesterday. No Frank got a Hey, how's Frank doing? Did Frank survive yesterday? No, Frank got in it. A sleazy sex move? That's awful, judgey, isn't it?

Donkey punch, a sleazy sex move in which, while the guy is taking the girl anally, he punches her in the back of the head, making her ass over the guy. Jesus, try any. What the fuck? Classic. I kind of say, don't sex shame people. the to be on the cack I wonder I want this video this portion for your commitment for my Calvin's come oh shit look at that we got some we got

some decorative shit down there look a little did Wow you need to change your to Commander Cack. Cack! Oh my god. Commander, Commander Cack. That would be awesome for me to be the commander of it. I hope you're the commander. Why isn't anyone sending us a, is this workout too hard? Like what's the deal with this workout? How come it all? I said it was the hardest workout I've done so far. No, it's too hard to set up. Yeah, that's a problem.

It's not! One too many elements that people don't have. Would you ever release a workout like 24 hours before? No, I want to get destroyed. I'm just fucking making conversation because nobody's calling in. Just ask you to fuck you, Pedro. We should create our code and let them send it in and I've had 24 hours. Now do it in an Irish accent. All right, we could make a meme

that the government can arrest for. That's the UK. Yeah, dude. No, stop it. You two. No, it's not. Oh, you guys put a teacher in jail for not acknowledging that a he she was actually a he or something like that. Hey, yeah, what happened? But okay. What happened? Hey, like not let the kid like say I want to be a girl and it's a boy. He's like, I'm going to call you a boy because you have a dick or something like

that. Yeah, but that's not why he was sent to jail. Why was he sent to jail? Because there was a judge ruled that he wasn't he didn't he wouldn't not go to work. The school said, right, you're not we don't want you at work then until you just like stop. So he said, that's fine. I'm going to keep going to work then. And the school got a barring order from the court to stop him going to work.

And he ignored it for, I can't remember, it was an obscene, like 200 plus days. And he's been fined $2,000 every day. He showed up and he wouldn't like not show up. So that's why he's put in jail because of stubbornness. Oh, because he refuses to acknowledge some bullshit that some kid in his school is a tranny. Well, no, he's not in jail because he refused to acknowledge that he's in jail because of his reaction to refusing to acknowledge it. Hmm.

The punishment to the punishment that he didn't oblige by that was bullshit. Is that a UPS guy? Yeah, listen, I just wanna show you. This is a public service announcement for all the men out there. If this is your UPS guy, he's fucking your wife. ["Tattooed"] For sure.

Every time he for ****ing our show up. Would you blame her? Say it again? I said, would you blame her? No. You get a pass. Yeah, I'd probably blame Alexa. This guy.

Is that Hunter Biden? I picked that clip motherfucker. Who picked that clip? I picked that clip. I picked that clip. Hey, so what do you smile this morning when I saw it? Hey, so what do you guys think? Is it a yes or no? The dude who got the CEO of United Health professional assassin or just some dude that's professional. It's not real. It's not real. Okay. I also I also know it also Just it's just some dude who watch too much made a guy who watched too much Dexter Okay, the dude made his own silencer and his hand subsonic rounds. So there's no way that he's a professional

Okay, wait Profession we'd never find out about it shorty. It's um some dude some dude. Okay You are professional though, he's his professional spikowski is a professional athlete well, hey and that's a good one. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't

know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't

know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't

know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't knowins have feelings too. Here's false. Listen, I always thought grant was straight until he wrote this. Now he's the craziest. The craziest thing about it to me is he shoots the guy in the back. His gun jams. He doesn't panic at all. There's a lady right next to him screaming in his face. He doesn't look at it. He doesn't drop the gun. He doesn't freak out. He clears his jam. He shoots him again.

The gun jams again. He clears his jam again. He shoots him again. And then he stands there for 10 seconds, taking the silencer off and putting his gun away. And then he jogs across the street. That doesn't sound like an emotional guy to me. That sounds like someone who's...

It also doesn't sound like a professional. Well, that sounds like a professional. He didn't... Hold on. How do you know the gun... His gun wouldn't jam twice if he was a professional. OK. First off, the gun jams is a gun jam. Like you can't, you can't stop that because he manufactured his own subsonic rounds. Right. The gun didn't jam. He racks the slide every time. I hope. Hey, that so So, yeah, someone said that maybe he made the silencer himself and it was too heavy or like, I mean, I don't know.

There's like a lot of reasons the gun could jam. He had wrong ammunition. He was limp dicking it. Like if you hold the gun, you have a limp fucking wrist. It won't, the slide won't cycle. There are a lot of reasons, but. Yeah, I would want to. If you use a homemade silencer and you're and you make your own rounds There's not enough pressure for the slide to rack itself

here's the thing make them properly if The reason why I asked is because of his his demeanor in the situation doesn't have a sociopath or anything But I don't know how much crime you guys have committed on a public street with other people around you while you do it And not a name so sober soberly sober and you know And you freak out it doesn't matter what you're doing your adrenaline is so fucking high That if that guy was sitting across the street overnight waiting for that dude The second that dude walked out of that thing that guy's heart rate was through the fucking roof and his adrenaline was crazy high and in order for him

to ignore everything on blinders and be that focused on the mission that's to me was just the only part that i'm like huh that seems that seems fucking weird and here's the other thing if he manufactured his if he if he loaded his own rounds he didn't buy it or made his own silencer and he didn't buy it like he already doesn't have a paper trail that stuff. So it doesn't matter if he leaves the casings. Have you seen Zoolander? That dude's actually a male model. They just, they just, I just saw something like two minutes ago that said that they actually released the wrong picture.

That guy, the super handsome guy is not actually him. That guy's, it's in a, he's in a completely different outfit. They released a stock photo by accident. Yeah, exactly. I mean, to be honest, he's going to try to find that guy. I think it was a problem to cover up whatever he was under investigation for the DOJ. And he was going to cut a plea deal. He was going to cut a plea deal to tell him everything.

And whoever was behind him was like, fuck that. No, you're not. We're going to kill your ass. You mean the photo with him smiling isn't really him where he looked he looks like a woman Yeah, that's not him. There's an is that a girl soon as I saw that I'm like that looks like a girl No, that's the most handsome man on earth. What are you talking about? Yeah, kill the Prime Minister of Malaysia. I have footage of From a FBI agent. I know of this guy training Prior I've seen this that yeah, this shows he's a professional I think this is it right here. Well here you switch it with

Yeah, yeah, I was on tight jeans That guy definitely drink semen for 70 grand. The guy in the background is definitely a pro. Yeah, he had he did almost running right on the range. Right right through the line of fire. See if you can miss me. He's also shooting from groin height. That's an exclusive people. When me and when me and Bryson do target practice I make him wear my bulletproof vest naked and we just shoot him up in my living room. Don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't

think that's a hit man. No, he did have a training hat on though. So I love how cold since I got you cold. That was Tyler wasn't me. What me dude. I love you Cole. That was Tyler wasn't me what me dude No, that was just a general statement Hey, they they put out an announcement this morning that they're gonna have the guy today that they're Someone leaked that they're gonna catch him within hours. There's no way Way, I think if he if he left state the backpack strap that's a black backpack

he had a light gray or like a tan backpack that's not him didn't have a black jacket on to you with like the go go to the actual that's not a picture of him that's I know that's not him Putin neither of those pictures are of him neither of them and if like if they catch a guy it's hundred percent gonna

be a fucking prop yeah let's ask killer hillar what's going on with the shooting did that really what's going on with that there's something else going on that's distracting everybody such as Dubai a reason no one's at that competition because of this. Wow. You guys suck. We are giving away $1,000 to anyone who can beat Taylor, but since no one's afraid, no one's going to call in instead, you can go over to paper street coffee right now while the show is live another 12 minutes and you can buy coffee 40% off. Yeah. 40 fucking percent. Go go, go, go, go. and look at it automatically applies. That's crazy No people here who run healthcare companies. So all of a sudden everyone

well, it's pickly United Health because they were using some faulty algorithm to Approve or deny claims in and the industry if you look at all of them Like seven percent was like the high the the one that gave the most approval and United Health denied like 32% of all the claims. I thought it was like 90% of all the claims. Which was really high. 90% was wrong on the algorithm. So they knew the algorithm was wrong up to 90%, but they just let it ride anyways because

it saved them so much money because they were denying 32% of all the claims. Does this help out the new insurance incentive initiative? What's that? Does this help out the new insurance incentive initiative? What's that? Does this help out the new CrossFit insurance initiative? It's not insurance that CrossFit is selling. Oh, I thought they were. It literally says not insurance on there as part of a tagline, but it says not insurance

because it's not fucking insurance. It's just a group savings account. Dude, it's a group savings account. It's fucking Commie Healthcare. Oh, that works as good as call me health care because what ends up happening is you pay your 55 bucks to get in. You pay a $500 commitment if you have a health event and you need money. If then you're going to be asked to pay it up to another hundred and fifty something dollars. So it ends up being like $200 a month because part for your membership part for contribution.

And then they help lower the bill. Is it a good a good deal well it's a great deal it's a great deal if your shit's low but if you get a spinal cord injury it costs you millions of dollars and hundreds of thousands of dollars every year after that for the remaining of your life you get booted immediately also social spinal cord there's a social credit score to it because if you don't put money into the thing when asked it'll dock you. And then when you do have a health event, need money, it won't allow you because you didn't crowd.

You didn't put into the crowd sourcing early on. But if everyone. Right. Right. The way I can see it is good is they essentially have this bulldog that calls the health company like the hospital or whatever, and they barter down your bill. So it's like you could be saving big on that, but like the payout itself kind of sucks.

Yeah, so if that's worth $200 a month continuously to when you get a bill to have them pay it down for you, it is, yeah. And no, Trish, I'm not defending the current insurance system either. I'm just saying like, we should get straight. What is health insurance and what isn't? And if you think about the costs that are associated

with a lot of major trauma, heaven forbid somebody gets hit by a car or something like that and needs some sort of life-saving, evacuee flood, you know, you get airlifted out, then you have a spinal cord injury, you need ongoing care, that just costs millions of dollars. So how many people would you need inside that crowdfunding thing? And how much money would they need to put up

for you to actually be fully covered outside of Health insurance I just don't and then that's one fucking person imagine You have a group of ten thousand people and freaking three of them have that He's paying for that as a do Christian care because health insurance is so fucking retarded. I know someone who's had a child born and Since that child's been born. It's a literal vegetable has no chance at living a life and so far It's been born, it's a literal vegetable, has no chance of living a life. And so far it's been $50 million. $50 million?

And that kid will never even like speak a word. It's why, why, but there's a thing. Why is care like that so expensive? That's insane. Dude, it's because it's in the community. If you get one of those, you're dead. So the entire thing is done. Well, it's because the, it's,

it's because the federal government is involved with healthcare. It's the same thing with the school systems. The school system is getting more expensive every year because the federal government subsidizes it. And then the school says, well, we need to add this next year. And the federal government says, well, that sounds appropriate for students up it. And then it just continues and continues and continues. Same thing with health care.

Yep. The more regulation dispensers and cargo planes are five thousand dollars. Exactly. Exactly. Because they could just inflate the price. The US government's like, OK, then they sell that same soap dispenser to my affiliate for 30 bucks, you know. That's the Amazon. Hey, and then the thing is, is more in they usher in like the government and all these regulators ushered in more regulation because it benefits their companies.

It kills competition. And whenever competition competition is killed the ultimately the consumer us the people that are buying the stuff we lose every fucking time. I don't know. I don't know. Bigger Street Coffee you have nine eight minutes left. What's a good bean? The one between your wife's letting you know. They're all espresso.

Wow. What's a good bean? A narrator. I will say I don't like letting you know, the espresso. Wow. That's a good bean. A narrator. I will say, I don't like coffee and I like the frost. You guys should try the Clitoris. It's on 20% off right now. I'm gonna try your mom's Clitoris after this, dude. Hey, did you guys watch the documentary?

The butt Clitoris? Not yet. The what documentary? The new CrossFit documentary. I'm watching it when I get out. You said you were watching it yesterday. I know, but I didn't. the what the New CrossFit documentary. I'm watching it. I get out. You said you were

watching it yesterday. I know but I didn't. I said and I didn't. So I know. Did you watch it? Yeah. Yeah. I watched it. How was it better than out of 10 out of 10. I would agree with that. It's not great, but it's better than the past few. Okay. It becomes excessively worse if you immediately watch 2014 right after, which I...

Oh, that seems like a rare sequence of the day. Because you realize that the 2014 documentary, the last half hours of the games, and you're like, oh, that's what's wrong with these. It's all the games. It's like the advanced chapters where the chapters in the 2014 one, it's like their backstory. Do they get Daniel Branden's breakdown? They get one. Which one?

That's probably the best part of it. There were like 12 of them. Her and the ice man. Yeah, you know that? Yeah, it was good. It immediately is like, oh, that's why she's got a new coach. Oh, shit. I actually like, I think Torres handled that correctly. He was just like,

Oh, I agree. But like, imagine that being between her ears. Like you can't have that as your coach with that being your thoughts. What between her ears? A scramble of nuclear fried. She's like talking to Torres and she goes something on the lines of, the didn't work enough this year. Yeah, I wasn't prepared for this. Oh, my god. This sounds like a good movie. Yeah, like that was great. That was great. Like you're all we heard is Tia and her baby and crap. Wow. So it's all her fault. That's hilarious. What if you're if you're an athlete and you blame shit on your coach, that is such a fucking punk ass. Well, Taylor, is that not fair to a degree though? No. Why? Dude dude if I don't pass my PT test on Tuesday? I'm blaming you Taylor

It's totally a fair statement, no, it's not who's your Either who's your fucking coach? I don't have one. It's my fault. Okay. There you go. Everything. I had a coach. I had a coach every time I compete. Who's your coach? Like John main.

It was me at the NorCal classic. I was his coach. Shall man your programming on here? Yeah. No, he did not asshole. He wrote most of my programming and I talked to him and it's not his. It's all personal accountability. That's her fucking fault.

Why would you hire a coach if you wanted personal accountability? If you want personal accountability, you program your own fucking shit. This is the problem with this is the problem with these. You can't have both. They quit after fucking three weeks of hard training like I can't do it anymore. Coach made me do too much. Coach didn't do enough. coach didn't suck my winky Go ask an NFL player hey Tom Brady

If you don't win this game, is it all fucking bill checks fault if you fucking tear your AC out like what like no Well, the bear okay, what a thing like that. So I thought I thought the same thing. Jump ship. I was like, oh, this this eventually needs to be. This is a great topic for a show, but keep fighting it out here. Wait, let me ask some questions. What's T? Toys? Like drama.

Gossip. Be gossip. Things like gossip. Hey, what if you what if you flipped it like this and you were you had a business, you had a business mentor that was help guiding stuff and giving you like checklists, essentially programming of things to do and then the business still didn't go well? Would you blame the business mentor? Would you blame yourself?

Or if you did everything you were asked or to add on to that, if Danielle during camp is saying, I think we should do more, I think we should do. I'm just not feeling like this is appropriate. I'm not what you were saying. You don't know that. I don't know. I don't know that it did. I don't know that it did. I don't know that it did. If you assume that that happens, she's right.

If you assume it didn't happen, she's wrong. No, fuck faces. Here's the deal. Here's the issue. You are fucking your coach. Meanwhile, he has like eight other athletes. He has female athletes. He's got male athletes and you're fucking him.

And all of this crazy has now taken over your training. This is the issue. There's no separation between go to the gym and work and that. And that's why the situation didn't work out. Wait, wait, wait. Are we still talking about Danielle and Tara's or are we talking about you and your coach? We're talking about me and Breslin.

Tia is the winningest athlete of all time and she's been fucking her coach the entire time. Wow, wow. They're meant to be together. Shane's not even a coach, dude. Oh damn. Don't get into particulars, Caleb. And also Shane's never fucked Tia.

It's the other way around. So it's completely different for us. I don't judge which way the sex is for me. I don't judge which way the sex is for me. I don't judge which way the sex is for me. I don't judge which way the sex is for me. I don't judge which way the sex is for me. I don't judge which way the sex is for me.

I don't judge which way the sex is for me. I don't judge which way the sex is for me. I don't judge which way the sex is for me. I don't judge which way the sex is for me. I don't judge which way the sex is for me. And also Shane's never fucked Tia, it's the other way around. So it's completely different. Which way the sex is flowing. Oy, Shane, roll over on your belly, bloke. Holy shit. God damn. Wow, I'm going to get blasted for this episode. We should not have gone anywhere near that cesspool of emotional unhealth. Let just get out of here let's fucking get out of the pool that being said go see the

documentary now let's keep it number one on itunes amanda doyle got 40 off my paper street coffee you only guys have two minutes left uh paper street coffee gabe thanks man just trying to give back to you all for supporting me all year you're a great dude. I'm going to get so much trouble after this episode. from who busy. Yeah. What do you do? any of this? Only 70 grand for helping come. probably. Yeah,

you're definitely in trouble for that. Could we get over the house? Marissa is like, is that is this a possibility? Leave me for that. Then the ups driver. That's for sure. Marissa is going to tell Bryce and he can't hang out with Taylor anymore. No, Marissa Marissa. Isn't that the chick type?

Marissa, Marissa, mean Bryson mean Bryson were in an argument in our group chat with me, Lizzie and Maris and Lizzie took Bryson's side and it actually made me so fucking pissed. Lizzie took Bryson's side and Lizzie was in the living room and it was weird texting and I was like, hey, that was the wrong place and the wrong time to take Bryson's side. the right place and right time is know her and never. That's right. I decided that for Ben Bergeron's one on one coaching. Now it's fucking 7k in your hand. You'd probably guzzle 30 dudes fucking come shots for 7k.

That's a lot of money if you think about it. the I would say probably would you forage and swallow the source I would need probably 50k this is where you went down steeper it's a better deal million you're such a pussy hillar what are you talking about so I could buy CrossFit my sister's pump my sister told

me that you're such a pussy. Hillary, what are you talking about? So I could buy CrossFit basis. My sister told me that she deceived him. Hey, show off sometimes I think this is one of those times. Do you think if we're actually

advertising this service right now that we could get somebody to buy into like paying us to suck and suck and guzzle. I mean, I checked my bank balance. Hey, dude, I bet the guy who runs Dubai would pay Hillary to suck his meat. the Hey, play all right. Guys, sucking and guzzling.

Yeah, training. We're in again. Yeah. Okay. Okay. The open is coming. You know the dates and if you're someone who's worried conditioning is holding you back, then we have the answer.

The Sentinel Training 200 plus machine conditioning workouts ebook. Take the guesswork out of your conditioning pieces with a one-time payment of $40. That's less than 20 cents per workout. Choose between single implement workouts utilizing a fan bike, rower, ski erg, bike erg, and running or multi-implement mixed machine workouts. You can't put a price on fitness, but we can put a price on improving yours. The Sentinel Training 200 Plus Machine Conditioning Workouts eBook. Upgrade your engine now at traincentinel.com. Thank you guys. This is the first time no one had ever called in. Not one taker this

week. I really appreciate your guys' commitment and helping us work the show. That was really cool Fuck you. See you next week to grant a Papershree coffee. You're the shit. Thank you. Talk to you guys soon. Thank you