The Sevan Podcast - KT #30 | $1,000 for Christmas

Episode Date: December 26, 2024

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KillTailer. A Christmas Deadmas Day. 3, 2, 1, go! KillTailer going down in the middle of a big special show on Christmas Day. Live on your list of other kinds of podcast... That's it. Is it over? I'm in the set up on a podcast call and try to kill Taylor if you ain't afraid. You can kill Taylor, not me neither, but the same thing you feel, maybe try and beat him. But when you feelin' that the rap and the weapon and the talking trash turn you into weapons to dreams. You know- Is that Caleb?

That is Caleb, that's Caleb's rapping debut. No, it's the guy who actually made this one. But just, we just gotta a shitty recording of it. Same guy. Our first victim is gone. The audio on this one is way better. Taylor Self is here. The next victim is waiting in the wing.

Subscriptions right now for one hour only. One hour only. PaperStreetCoffee.com, 20% off, P-A-P-E-R-S-T-C-O-F-F-E-E.com, 20% off for the first hour. If you text me at that number, I'll send you a link and you can try to win a thousand bucks right now, beating theest man across the space Taylor self Sentinel training in the house Taylor we're ready when you are buddy let's fuck shit up look at my Christmas gift from my dad from Armenia Caleb you ready on the clock got it all right well tell Taylor we'll start soon as he touches the rings boy Uh, boy, I made a killing on that Dave Castro show.

Holy shit. Holy shit. The donations were awesome. By the way, send in all your Christmas donations to me now. What a great show. Here we go. 50 muscle-ups for time. Six minute time cap.

Your score is how many? Is it cows on the rower? Max cows on the rower. Yep. Are you counting these Tyler? Is that five? Nice. You were looking at CrossFit Charlotte.

Crash. Thank you. CrossFit Crash. JR Howell's gym. Normally you see Taylor do the events at a CrossFit Charlotte, Andy Hendel's gym today for Christmas Taylor and his lovely wife Lizzie have gone north. Is it north? It's like west like southwest. They've gotten in their car and burned petrol and Added to global warming and here they are

Taylor self from Sentinel training 50 muscle ups, time cap, six minutes. Your score is how many calories you get on the row with the remaining time you have. We are at the one minute mark now. 20. Wow. 20? Oh my God. Unbroken in one minute.

Opening set of 20. I couldn't do 20 in six minutes, dude. Yeah, thank you. Me too. Oh my god. Three minutes would be a healthy pace for me. Twenty second rest. Oh, so he has this planned out. He knows exactly what he's doing.

You got 50 of them? People are going to bonk in this so hard. We are at 130 and he's doing. Oh yeah, he has a plan. You got 50 of them? People are gonna bonk in this so hard. We are at 1.30 and he's back on the ring. What do you think is gonna happen? They'll get to 35 and stop. Happy birthday Jesus. And uh, oh. Wow. Wow. We have a taker already

affectionately known as the Costco momoa You guys remember who that is okay, how many do ten I think 28 28 Gabe said why the hell couldn't this have been last week's workout? I want to say, I'm really sorry. Matt Souza and Pedro White and Andrew Hiller were in a devastating horseback riding accident today. They were all three riding the same horse when it bucked and all three of them flew off in all directions. Their bodies are yet to be found. So they could make sure,

we thought about postponing the show, not doing the show. But Tyler, the show has to go on, right? I'm not getting chewed out again. Yeah, there you go. There you go. The gym is is empty people are at home getting fat Where we at what's count Lizzy 36 36 at 252 Okay, that's halfway. That's three minutes in Alrighty. Yeah, very sad. Very sad

Very sad Ryan. I agree as this CrossFit crash? It is. J.R. Howell's home Home to the amazing events the crash crucible and the crash. What's the other one thunder bed crescendo crescendo greatest game on earth It truly is greatest owner greatest family best people Best people.

330 in the score will be max calories. Can you guess on how many calories he'll have? 10. I think he'll get a 10. 30. We're at 42. I'll have to see how he'll get on. So he'll have, I'm guessing he's going to have 60 seconds to row. No yeah he'll have a solid two minutes. I've worked for two minutes.

Never mind. Tyler's an accountant. He's an accountant. John Ruby Colton's going to get a good Christmas present this year. We shall see. We shall see. Class four. Five more.

I don't think people have the commitment today. I think the smart move is to don't even bother try doing this one and just to go over to Paper Street Coffee, get the subscription for 20% off. The hell of a deal. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Something happened up there. I asked too.

That's what I'm telling you. But this is going to happen to people around 30. Like they're just not going to be able to do it anymore. Oh, three more. No rep. Wow. Wow. No rep. That's the first no rep on the history of a kill Taylor. I think that he's given himself.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that one hurt. That one hurt blood in the water now oh oh Nellie oh Nellie he might not even have a minute no oh shit it's always frustrating it's getting serious always frustrating when you have to reset like jump to reset it always feels exhausting lifetime subscription 20% off lifetime subscription here we go there. There it is. Okay, five oh It's all here. It's all here Holy shit 20% off of paper street coffee right now just for the remaining 52 minutes of the show 50 muscle-ups in five minutes is insane.

You think he's getting a calorie a pull? At this point, probably. No, every three pulls two calories. It's like every two pulls is a calorie. You'll probably get a couple of rollover. Let's go Taylor. 15 seconds. Are we going to count the rollovers?

Hell yeah dude. I say gonna count the rollovers? Hell yeah, I say we count the rollover. All right, always My biggest pet peeve is not counting the rollover rollover counted Time Stop Taylor 604 will be the time cap sit. We have a new time cap of 604 I'm cutting him. I'm cutting I'm not sure. That's a good call. That's a good call. That's a good call.

That's a good call. That's a good call. That's a good call. That's a good call. That's a good call. That's a good call. That's a good call. That's a good call. That's a good call. That's a good call. That's a good call. That's a good call. That's a good call. That's a good call. That's a good call. That's a good call.

That's a good call. That's a good call. That's a good call. That's a good call. Oh my you know that hurt I wonder did he tear it all he's got clean hands That'd be insane if he just didn't rip on any of those Hey, Lizzy is he pissed right now because of what happened that no rep and then the rattling of the rings and all that I Can't tell it'll be like 30 seconds before I can tell any emotion. Okay He's still he's still in autistic state What are your hands look like? Why? Oh, they're fine. No blood Wow, dude You guys are all fucked. Don't even bother. I go sit in the chair Talk to me, talk to me.

No rep through you for a loop. That's the first no rep ever and kill Taylor, you've ever given yourself, I think. No, I just thought that I had another minute to row, so I was not rolling as fast as I could. Oh. Why did you take your grips off? Oh, just because my forearms are getting a bit inflated oh My god and Taylor our favorite black man is calling holy Bad

What's up brother? How are you Jase? I'm doing good. How you doing Merry Christmas? Well? I think it could be a Christmas present up brother? How are you, Jace? I'm doing good. How are you doing? Merry Christmas. Well, I think it could be a Christmas present for you. How are your muscle ups? They're not as good as mine. They're really not that great to be honest. I came here because I told myself I would no matter what happened.

So you the man you did. That's what Taylor has to do. He has to go no matter what. So good job, dude. Jace, are you mormon no you're too nice like a mormon that's the same thing oh it's a good guess what are you jehovah witness no i'm just christian okay all right it's a good christian

non-denominational if that helps all right we are ready when you are you your camera's cool It kind of zooms in and pulls out. It's like on some autopilot Yeah, I think it is gonna. I think it might be a problem for the video Yeah, oh look at that lady's wearing an og shirt next to you look at her That's shanna bunch she won the CrossFit Games in what, 2022? Oh my goodness. What's up Shanna? Hi guys.

Hi. Is there an auto zoom function on this thing that I can stop? On iPhones? This is an iPad. Oh. I'll just... It's probably like a face tracking thing. This is an iPad. Oh. I'll just... It's probably like a face tracking thing. And then hopefully it,

hopefully it zooms out cause it gets confused. Oh yeah, there you go. Oh, oh. Oh my God. What is that doing? I'm gonna throw up. Do you guys wanna come back to me and then I'll try and figure this out?

Hold on, let me, I'll just Google it right now. Hold on, let me take it. Close. Can you go get my timer? I'll close this P this corn hub window. And what am I Googling? iPad, auto, zoom. Oh, if you go to your settings and then accessibility,

you can turn off the zoom function. Oh yeah, did you hear that? Go to your settings and then go to accessibility. Go to retart setting. Go to settings. Go to retart settings. Go to settings. Go to settings. On StreamYard. On StreamYard. No, no, no, no. On

your iPad. Hold up. Okay. Go to settings. Yeah. And then there should be accessibility. How long was I on the rower floor? Four seconds. Too long. And then there should be zoom to turn zoom on off follow Zoom 55 seconds. Oh or it says you can double tap the screen with three fingers

Well, you got off the ring 509 no Double tap your screen with three fingers at 509 It's not doing it either. You sure there a center state Oh Gosh, this is so frustrating We have you want you have an iPhone there. Do you want to call him with an iPhone? Yeah, we're calling on my iPhone. Okay, send me a number if you want me to send you another link. No, I got it Okay, cool. Thanks, dude. Yep on my iphone okay send me a number if you want me to send you another link nope i got it okay cool thanks dude yep all right anyways as i was saying the only saving grace anyone has is i thought for

whatever reason i thought for whatever reason that i had a minute and 40 seconds or 45 seconds i was like all right i'm gonna get 50 cows so when i get to 25 i'm gonna start ripping and then i got to 24 and you guys were like Time time and I was like, what do you mean? Wow so this is these are growing faster than a lot of people can row but I Could have been rolling a lot faster. Oh well Nobody's gonna keep up on the ring muscle up stuff. It makes me want to redo it

Hey, can you back your phone up just a little bit more? Can you like take it further away? Oh, there you go That's that's fine. That's fine The one vertical is the one time we allow vertical shots No, this is good 45 degree angle Yeah, can you take and you take it over there so it like faces your rower and rings? You know what I mean like we want to see move the camera 90 degrees angle under muscle-ups right there is good Put it in your mouth while you do muscle-ups also if you just pan down so we Can we tilt the camera up a little bit no we're good we're good we're good we're good come on Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I would wax that ginger ginger Wow yeah, I bet you would did right Like these nuts you probably waxed her fucking butt pussy John John's already done 50 cows twice on this so do to a little too late

All right, we're ready when you are Okay You think you're gonna make it to the rower Jace I know honestly I hope I do but I'm not guaranteeing that for myself yet. I got All right, I was so aggressive What was that no one's talking to you work out Talking shit All right for hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahh ahhahahhahah last no I don't give a fuck where he is these muscle-ups suck ass he's toast geez Louise even gonna guys yeah I'm gonna get to 40 six seven spiegel muscle-ups that's yes exactly eight spiegel muscle-ups nine special way

he's doing good ten it looks good looks good. It looks good. Good lockout 10. All right. There we go 10 is good 10 and 30 seconds He's on pace He's gonna take quicker breaks though 20% off go over to paper street coffee calm pap 20 in a minute How many burpees can you do in a minute, Taylor? 12.

Do you think his hair is like... 34, 35? ...is counter to the pendulum that he wants to swing? You think he should have thrown this thing up in a man bun? How many was that? Five. Five. Five.

15. 15? Merry Christmas, Jace. Merry Christmas Christmas what gym is that Lane five Lane Lane five that's it that's the name of the gym 17 beautiful armpit straight out of Eugene Oregon 19. 19. Wow. 20. Oh, that's why he has to wear his hair like that, because he's from Eugene. That's right.

We're the hit. I was at 20. Hey, did you guys vote for Trump? Hell yeah. Vote for Trump. Let's go. Nice. That dude has all the testosterone in Eugene.

All right, you only have to do 30 muscle-ups now. That's good. I say 30-second handicaps. That's good, I say. 30 second handicaps. What's he at, 20? 20. One. Oh.

Oh. Oh, yes, Ken. Dude, I found, so I have 15,000 or 14,000 sports cards from when I was a little kid 25 Ken's gonna help me value them. I'm gonna break my 30 for time record Yeah, get it get it to tell you let's go. Come on How do you have so many big probably a sad call? Across that one if that's a perm or if that's natural all natural baby all nice. I think I have a hemorrhoid Can I see it?

Crazy dump right before this and anytime I poop then sit on the rower it like messes me up Wow nice good. Okay. How do you know if it's a hemorrhoid or a prolapse anus you're feeling well You put sugar on it Over a haven't hung out with Bryson in over a week so I'm pretty sure it's not prolapsed. Was that 30? 30. Yeah. 303. Wow. That's good. Lizzy, did Taylor really get in trouble for all the gay jokes with Bryson? No, I find me... What, Maris? Yeah. Oh my god.

Maris knows Bryson's gay. She's in total denial. She is in total denial. Oh, now that he's tired, he's getting over the rings. Oh, these, how many is that? 34. 34. Oh.

Thousand bucks on the line, 35. The craziest dip I've ever seen. This is, when I think about this like there are certain workouts where if you get to this point I wish we could give out money like Taylor writes them so hard that it's like if you make it here you get like 20 bucks or something if he gets to the 50 I'll be very surprised but these next 15 are like harder than the first 35 combined I believe really yeah and your body just and he doesn't want to go either right his body's like fuck you ain't going I guess I pushed a little I mean you saw me fail. I put I was a little aggressive

I probably I probably might have gotten to the row or a little quicker had I done something a little differently, but it's all good He's not gonna get five here Maybe the problem at the top there? Four, there's one more. Oh, that's four. That's 39. Or four. Yep.

Hey, what's going on? His arms are just blown up to all get out, his triceps. Yeah, he's just getting exploded through here. He gets really metabolic too. Like I get really breathy when I max out my rig muscle ups. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go, Jason. Yeah, me too.

When I hit two, that's usually when I get out of breath. That's 40. Yeah. 41. 42. Oh! Baby. 8 to go.

Come on. 10 to go. Two singles. Two singles. I wonder if Jason's ever done 50. No. Oh, baby I wonder if Jason's ever done 50 Well, he's got to finish now Four 23 calories six. No, you had like 3 calories in that 4 seconds. Oh, shut the fuck up. 45.

You were pulling like 2500. That's 46 I think. No! Alright. What's he at? 4 more. Come on! 10 seconds.

Go, Jace! 14 seconds. Roll unbroken, buddy. We're 7. the the the the the the the the

the the the the the Two more. Two more, two more. Yeah, keep going, keep going. You quit now, you're a pussy. You've never done 50 in your life. So if you quit now- Wow, is this what we do on Christmas?

Go, Jase. Do we encourage? Yeah, dude. It's feetkeeper time, dude. That's hell of a feet. Yeah, dude. One more. One more.

One more. All right, I'll bandwagon. So the last three or four are gonna take him. Come on, Jase. Last four are Hey, do you nair? How do you keep all the hair? Holy shit, you're jacked right now Jesus crying Hey jason, uh, do you nair or something like how is there no hair on your body? Uh,

I got I don't know if I should shout him out. I'm not sponsored by him You can do that. You're not a real games athlete. Those are the only things that don't get people. Uh, Manscaped oh I knew it. Wow your whole body You can do that. You're not a real games athlete. Those are the only things that don't get people. Ah, man scapes. Oh, I knew it. You buzzed your whole body. No, she does. Your girlfriend does. Yeah. I mean, I shared the whole thing.

What's your, my dad's got Pete for us. It takes so much time to shave the whole thing. Yeah. That's got Pete for us. It takes so much time to shave the whole thing. Yeah, I did the water. Two or three. Two or three full charges before you can get through it all. That's disgusting. Hey, what was your 30 time before today? I think it was like three minutes and 30 seconds.

So I owe you guys one for that. And what did you get? You got sub 3 three minutes and 30 seconds. So I you guys want for that. And what did you get? You got sub three, right? 303. It was right close to sub three. Okay. 302. 302. And the gym's empty? No one's there on Christmas? No, no, everybody's with their families, but I like to work out. So this is, this is kind of where my family is.

You just don't have a family. So you just came there. You just came there just to do the kill Taylor workout My gems, it's quite a drive how far 30 minutes away. Oh damn All right, dude. Well, hey, thank you very much great. You're gonna you're gonna be the foundation of the show Thanks, man. You the man. You coming back next week? Next week it could be two grand. Yeah, I mean, I'll come back if I can make it for sure. I like it.

All right, brother. Have a good one. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas, too. Thank you. Eugene's a geographical oddity. It's 30 minutes from everywhere. Good night.

Yeah. Eugene. Smoke weed. It's just cause they smoke weed so they go into a time travel. I'm so fucking annoyed. Fuck. Hi Pedro. Why, why, I thought I had fucking an entire more minute. Pedro, do you guys even celebrate Christmas in Ireland or are you only doing the Muslim holidays there now? We paint our dicks green and slap them off each other. Nice. in Ireland or are you only doing the Muslim holidays there now?

We paint our dicks green and slap them off each other. Nice. Wow. Monica's the same day as Christmas anyway. That was dark. We do that every Wednesday. The old YOLO log. Oh Joe, you're savvy.

I finished the marathon this morning. Thanks for the donation. Merry Christmas. Good job, dude. Thanks for checking in. Awesome. Alright, a thousand bucks. No one wants it. Thanks for checking in. Awesome. All right. 1000 bucks. No one wants it. That would a great Christmas present prize. That would have been

Hey, we still a great performance. Taylor, don't you think? I don't know. I think I think someone could call in and be to let people are pussies. Like who? Yeah, like who tell me one. Dude, I wrote 700 cal per hour slower than I should have been rowing. And I failed a muscle-up.

Yeah, tell- yeah. Yeah. Fuck! Dip shit. Hey, no, be compassionate to yourself. Hey, what um... I like it, Lizzie. At least you tried, Taylor. You tried really hard. Yeah, good job. That was a lot of effort, dude.

Great. Just fucking not try. You showed capacity. Yeah, that's right. And I got a hemorrhoid for it. Hey, is it true? I heard it enough.

I don't know if I'm allowed to say this, but I heard that there is a six figure offer floating around for you to join World Fitness Project is that that is true, right? Yeah, we're in negotiations. We're in negotiations for 100k God that would be fucking amazing. That would be genius on their part. Yeah, they reached out to you and told you they said Hey, you want 100k? No, I mean I'm in negotiations negotiations with them i mean i don't want to get too far into it negotiations are one sided keep the details to yourself taylor don't make it like i don't want to ruin the deal for you yeah let's uh you know we just next topic next question Did they have you sign an NDA for this? Wow, okay, calm down Castro. Yeah, really, I don't want to get into it.

I mean, we're in negotiations. Hey, do you have an agent for this? It's his own personal journey, guys. This is his. I would never pay an agent a fucking cent. Can you say that in Trump's accent. Can you say that in Trump's that can you say that as Trump? I don't have an agent. What would I do with an agent? All they would do is make me less money and take after anyways Agents are idiots. They copy everything that I do

Sounds like a job. I need I don't get paid for anything else. I might as well do that to you Sign a hot chick make a bunch of money off of fapping to their Instagram page. That's like the industry of agents basically Are you saying are you saying agents or Asians? Yes, what? Are you saying agents or Asians or agents? Oh, I'm saying agents not China agents Oh, I'm saying agents, not China, agents. Not China. China couldn't do agents like me. China couldn't do agents, slow agents do China.

When you got off the rings, were you disgusted that you had to row or you were ready? No, I was ready to fucking rape the rower. And I'm on and I'm like, I'm rowing get 50 calories because I wanted 50 myself 50 calories and I probably could have gotten 40 cows had I known that I only had However long on the clock, but I'm sitting there rowing at 17 1800 and I was like all right at 25 I'm gonna go 2400 and just absolutely punt it and then I'm like, I'm gonna go I'm gonna go to the gym and I'm gonna go to the gym and I'm gonna go to the gym but I'm sitting there rowing a 17 1800 and I was like, all right at 25 I'm going to go 2400 and just absolutely punt it. And then you guys like, what are you doing?

Stop, stop. I'm like, what? Oh, you could hear us. Yeah. I could hear Lizzie. I was like, what the fuck are you talking about? You didn't look at the clock when you got off the muscle ups? Damn.

Hey, hey, um, what happened on that failed muscle up? Like it looked good to me. Did you not lock out or something? I did not lock out at all. I was like, I tried to kick out and lock out and I didn't and I came down and I was like, fuck, I was retarded. I should have just taken two instead of trying to go for three. Because I knew I was riding the line at that point.

But it is what it is. I do not really do muscle-ups to failure ever. Here's a question that's going to make you happy. Ready? Does Taylor self-understand the part of competition is time management? You need power and brain power. Hey, that's crazy, Lance. You should call in and beat me then, you fucking pussy. Yeah, Lance. This is also the dude who tied up with Jason Hopper in the last like 30 seconds of a workout during the open I Understand time management. I just sometimes I was complimenting you. I was backing you up on that

I know I know didn't sound like it. I didn't it didn't sound what I mean tied up with No, I had 30 seconds left in a 20-minute workout and a guy who was ahead of me by almost a full round. I caught oh Hey Pedro, go ahead your hand was up Mr White from Coffee, Pods and Wads what would you like to contribute to the conversation? Not much I knew this wasn't gonna last one of my kids is crying I gotta go I love you guys happy Christmas. Hey Pedro we can't hear your kid it's fine stay on. Oh everyone else can. Okay. See, nice. Good try. Good attempt. It was like Taylor's workout. A good attempt. Solid. I'm gonna do it again next week.

Poor time management. Oh, for the thousand again? For two thousand, no one's beating me today. And I'm gonna do it again next week and no one's gonna beat me again. I like to do 60 next week. Yes. Is the time cap gonna be 704? Oh, yes! Is the time cap going to be 7.04? Oh wow, Caleb.

The time cap is going to be how fucking wide I gave your anus. Boy, Caleb and Taylor have had a rough day. Death threats, all sorts of things. Why has Caleb had a rough day? Because you, uh, he got a, uh, I don't know. You, dude? You guys were fighting in the chat earlier. Were we?

You're just making it, you're just making it really difficult. No, I said thank you for your service, King. I wasn't fighting him. Oh. I could, I could feel the sarcasm dripping off of your comment. That was Bryson initiated that. I tried to take Bryson's side and then he just came after me. Yeah, he's a little, he's a little shocked like that.

Taylor, since I have you in this- A little rat-based pocket. Since I have you in this vulnerable moment, the other day there was a lady lit on fire in a subway. I saw that by a Guatemalan migrant. Illegal alien. What would you have done in that situation? If I saw that guy pouring something on that lady, I would have opened his fucking mouth over the fucking seat in that subway and opened the back of his brain

To the earth the American Arabs. I would have broken his fucking skull in half. I'm not kidding That's the most disgusting thing I've ever Heard of happening And the first thing I thought of was well Anyone that I ever knows never gonna ride a fucking New York City subway and I'm sure as fuck gonna recommend to Lizzie and everyone else, hey, don't sleep in public. That's crazy. It's uh... It's not like I could've shot him, but I would've fucked him. What a strong recommendation, wow.

Hey, it is unreal. Are there cameras in the subways? I need to see what exactly happened, because it doesn't even sound fathomable to me. There's a picture of the guy just standing. There's a picture of him standing there watching her burn and you can just see kind of the glow. But I don't know that there's a video. I'm not sure if there's a video. Did you see the video of him fanning the flames to make her burn brighter? Have you seen that? No. While she's in the door- that's another thing. She's in the doorway. I don't understand why no one tackled her

to the ground and started rolling her around. I don't understand- Well she's covering fire. I mean I don't know. That would not have been- I'm not- I'm not- You guys- ...some fucking bold hero. That wouldn't have been my first instinct to tackle a lady burning alive. But my first instinct would have been to fucking kill that guy

as he was pouring shit on her before he lit the fucking light so he did pour you guys are assholes yeah listen not one of you has asked not one of you has asked whether she was a health care CEO or not so you guys are all assholes good point good point maybe she was a health care CEO. God, I would like to. I agree. Do it. I am also appalled that Biden is trying to commute death sentences. Like that's just wild. But so I truly believe not trying not trying. No, he is right. But I truly believe that some people do not. They are better off dead 100%. Like the guy you're better off with them dead. Like the guy who killed two girls and a US Navy officer.

And every single child pedophile on the planet. Use code KT2024 for the 20% off subscriptions. Oh, that relates to never. I've literally never seen that T used in my entire life. Yeah, is that a typo? Must be. That's just drunk on eggnog typing. Hey, you see this sauna behind me? Yeah.

That's Jason's sauna. Should I mushroom stamp the window? Yes. Yes. I heard Lizzie's like, no, we're one no, three yes, four yeses. Should I put a butt print on it? Yes. Yes. Yes. Should I put a butt print on it? Yes. Yes.

Am I getting there naked later? Yeah, do that. That's how you did saunas. And sweat naked, some stinky... Just take like a fat shit in the toilet and then just don't wipe and then sit in the sauna. What did you do this morning, Taylor? What did you do when you woke up? Exposed my stink portal to the sauna. What did you do this morning, Taylor? What did you do when you woke up? Exposed my stink portal to sauna. What did I do? I had a Christmas. I had a beautiful Christmas morning

with Lizzie and my my mother and father-in-law and her sister and her sister's boyfriend or brother. So we opened presents and then you get anything good. Yeah, dude dude i got a sick ass cowhide fucking rug oh yeah it's so dope i can have the entryway no it's for my office oh sick dude yeah it's fucking dope um so and then we went for like uh i don't know two or three mile walk along this like greenway creek area with the dogs. And then came in and worked out. Yeah, I wanted I want to do something else because I'm really frustrated that I did what I did. But have you slept in your new house yet?

Yeah, we sleep in the guest room. There's a queen and a king bed in the guest room because the upstairs not finished but only finished tomorrow. Hey, that's so that's crazy. So like any day now it's gonna feel like home. I would say like maybe in a day now. It's gonna feel like home I Would say like maybe in a month or two. It'll feel like home. We have some wait Are you sleeping in separate beds since both are in the same room? We have to because the point well she doesn't want to see when the floor but the dogs are all over the place right now

So it's hmm All right Is that it? No, we got one more. Oh at least one more oh shit This gentleman goes by the name of handsome Mason oh He's fucked. I know this guy. Yeah, you made sure Mason Mitchell It's not Mason Mitchell. It's uh Mason guys handsome Mason

It's not Mason Mitchell, it's Mason. Hey guys. Handsome Mason. At your service. What's up? Turn your phone sideways. You were probably a little late to the show because you were ordering your Paper Street Coffee subscription for 20% off

using code KILTAYLOR. No, it's because we were doing the Easy Ass Sentinel program on Christmas and now we're ready to roll. Stop, stop, stop. Stop. Stop. Stop.

I need more rest. The workout stop, stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Yeah, you're in warm up. The workout sucks, Taylor. The workout sucks. Hey, can you actually do just the muscle ups in six minutes? Can I do 50 in six? Yeah, I can. All right. 604 is the time.

We're going to give you four seconds because you're so handsome. Thank you. All right. I need to get a box for you, say something. No, I just want to hold it. What gym are you at? What gym are you at? What gym are you at? CrossFit, Wintersville, and Vodoss to Georgia.

Alright, do you vote for Trump? Can I turn it around? Yeah. How do I do it? Just tap? Then we're going to give you the full six minutes and four seconds then. Gotcha. Give me the remote for your clock. Okay. Wow, tell him you're gonna count me in. Okay.

Wow, I'm so annoyed. What if this dude beats you, then you're really gonna be annoyed. I have a feeling he's going to. Nuh-uh. Yeah, he's good. This kid's like 12 years old. Just throw me the remote so I can sing you a little. Hey dude, this guy just sits around and does curls all day.

I don't think you guys understand how much I fucked up by thinking I had an extra minute. Oh we know. Yo are we ready? We're ready when you are. Caleb you ready? Counting down. Alright ready? 3, 2, 1, go.

Woo! Oh, don't forget to use the code to get 20% off lifetime subscription from paper street coffee. I think the code is a KT 2024 KT 2024. No way. I'm going to be smart. Oh six. Yeah he's definitely be smart. Oh, six? Yeah, he's definitely gonna win. I don't know, dude.

He was smart keeping the rings, the tether short, so they won't swing around. Does JR even have short strap muscle up rings? He does, I don't like them. Twelve? Yeah, 48 seconds in. I don't like them. Hmm. 12. Yeah, 48 seconds in. At a minute, Taylor had 20. Significantly different rep scheme. Not on pace. He's got better muscles than Jason.

Jason Momoa? Yeah, Jason Momoa. Lance says he needs about 40 seconds of road time. Is that right, Taylor? 90 seconds. He's going to get it. No way. 50 is a lot, dude. 50 is a lot.

He's 45 seconds off pace. Taylor had 28 at 2 minutes. That was 23? 23. Two minutes in. You better stop fooling around Mason. Your pacing shit's gonna bite you in the ass dude. This isn't like pussy, it just doesn't like pussy falls on you.

This work ain't gonna fall on your lap boy. Oh fuck. Gonna have to earn this one. Yeah. What the fuck are you doing? He's gonna get a nice cut on his left arm too from that strap. Oh, yeah 28 at 252 Taylor had 36 Eight reps behind us. 245.

Okay, it's time to go, Mazen. I rode way too fucking slow, man. Fuck! I didn't fuck up on the muscle ups, I just fucked up on the rollers. No, you fucked up on the muscle ups. Did you do that on purpose? Do 20 out the gate like that? 30, yeah. 31. 31. He's down to 3. 30 yeah 30 He's right on base with James

Already Taylor had 40 at 333 Has Mason ever done 50 muscle-ups before? As Taylor ever programmed that in a day Taylor you guys have definitely done 50 muscle-ups in a workout not free I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. the the the the the

the the the the the the the the the the

the the the the the the the the the the We can work on his muscle ups. Just walk away. I say we make it finish. We made James finish

Yeah, we should make him finish. Yeah Yeah, oh that's tough. No, no, no, no, no, you go Mason come on Yeah Hey, this is great for nothing Taylor, what would you think your time for 50 bar muscle ups would be? Definitely Under three minutes, I think well under how many of you done broken bar muscle ups bar. I don't know maybe 30 Wow, I Know I can do. Yeah.

What's he at now? 38, 39. What's he at? What's Mason at? 40 or 41. I was counting on you. 42. Oh Nelly. I don't know if we can give you with 42. 42. Oh, Nelly. I don't know if we can give you that one. 42 and a half onesies. Oh, you quitter. Wow. Yeah, you can see

that from **** across the room. Ouch. That's how Jason's going to beat you, man. You know, Jason did this. I thought it was alright. That's just ahead. That messes me. You know what's interesting? Sometimes I find for gymnastics, sometimes regardless of how big you go on the first set, you end up blowing up at some point. So I feel like on a workout like this

or something with big sets of strict hands and push ups, go a little bigger on the first set because you're fresher. You're going to blow up regardless. I think you just could have been a little more aggressive. And I have some technique too. Are you being nice because I give you 20 bucks a month? Yes. Programming? Yes. Yes. And because you're hot. This counts as your 30-minute call though. This counts as your 30-minute call. Sorry. This counts as your 30-minute call. Alright Mason Merry Christmas, dude. You're a beast. Good job, dude. Merry Christmas, bro.

All right. Merry Christmas, dude. All right. Ansa Mason also takes a shot at it. 20% off a lifetime subscription for the... Oh shit, I put the wrong link in there. Her lifetime subscription, Paper Street Coffee. I think the code is KT2024.

I don't know if it has to be capital, but it's a hell of a deal, 20% off for Lifetime subscription. So you just go over to PaperStreetCoffee. There it is, there it is. I was between 50 muscle ups into a max cow roll or 50 dick bounces for time But I wasn't sure how coach out would feel about me taking his workout

Oh My god, you have the humor of a 14 year old boy Yes Yes. How dare you. Such fucking retards. Homegrown Relief, that's pretty good. He's gonna need some CBD rub on those shoulders. Anyone else want to be famous?

Where the fuck's Colton? Why is Colton being such a pussy? Yeah, I thought he didn't sell that. Yeah, I thought Colton didn't do Christmas. He only did Jim Yeah, he started taking 500 bucks. He's letting the pot grow a little Hey, you know what is You got to see this video Colton put up it is fucking hilarious Have you ever seen anyone get into an ice bath like this everything this guy does? John Young get into a nice bath. Everything this guy does he does his own way.

That's a nice tub. Oh Jesus. Yeah it is. That's a really nice tub. Look how he gets in. He gets like. It's freezing in Iowa by the way. And look look he's like a little dog.

Do you see the way like he rubs his face and shit? That's like a paw. He's you see the way like he rubs his face and shit? That's like a paw He's like one of his teeny-weenies look at him look at this the fuck is this who gets in like this just rolls in He flips himself in like a log No way hey is that is that an ice bath company or is that something you slaughter hogs in? Yes. Yes.

That's like a big yeti cooler, dude. That thing is sweet. It is an ice tub company, but. That thing is crazy. Mod tub? Mod tub. Easy setup, made in USA, superior insulation. Yeah, what do you mean easy setup? You just fill it with fucking...

Oh, look at this! It's got like a filtration system and everything. Wow. It's a massive Yeti with a fucking... with a fridge on it. I get nervous knowing the way that it closes. I'm like, I'm getting trapped in that 100%. That's right. Oh, like if you go under and it falls down.

Hey, Colton, this is how normal people get into an ice bath. There you go. No, rolling in is kind of the... I'm gonna try that. Just the fucking roll-in technique? Yeah, look at JR's fucking chili guts. I'm about to try that when they get off. Oh, those are crazy. Yeah.

Those are nice as fuck. I almost burnt down JR's gym. Installing those. This is the Cadillac of cold tubs. You installed those? Yeah. How did you end up installing them? I was just trying to be helpful. And JR was like, install the cold tubs, got it.

And I was like, I don't think the wattage is appropriate over here. And then Jair had some electrician guy come in and was like, yeah, Tyler's definitely right. We cannot put these on this wall. Look at you, an electrician and everything. And look at Guzzans a mod tub Hey, um, so you put him in and then they had to be moved or they just left him in the shitty spot No, I was like I was like, I don't think this is gonna work I was looking at the wattage on the wall and I was like, I don't think this is right and Jaro's like No, it'll work. And then his buddy came in was like, nope, not gonna work. So we moved him again

He had already moved him like three times prior Damn. Hey, how come JR's not there? I'm surprised he didn't bring his kids down there to watch this. He doesn't like me that much. JR Howell doesn't like you? Yeah. He's over at Jason's house doing Christmas? He's probably doing Coachell's workout at Jason's house.

Uh. Sorry, sorry. I love you. I love you, JR. I love you. I love you JR. I love you. He knows you hate him. You're fucked. He knows that I fucking love this shit out of him. Alright guys, a thousand bucks. There's time for one more wishful, desperate person. I'm doing it again as soon as we're done. You serious? No, but I really fucking want to. I'm doing it again next week.

Use the, use the code KT two zero two four at paper street coffee. 20% off your subscriptions for life. Go ahead. I'm gonna make it harder next week. I'm gonna do what I did with that sandbag workout, but it's gonna be worse. The one where you threw it. Which sandbag? The one where I did the sandbag workout, no one called in, and the next week I did it, but I did one extra round for time So this one's gonna be way harder next week What would you have held on the row or 2400 had you known it was the last little at least I would have seen 3,000 Jace wants to challenge Taylor to a 500 meter row now if he's willing

No money on the line just for shits and giggles. That's gay. No just do it on your Instagram. Tell Jace I challenged him to bounce on my dick 50 times. Challenge accepted. Hey Jace he wants to challenge you to a hair washing contest. Whoever can get the soap out of their hair the fastest wins. Done. OK, guys, one more time we're going to try to give away the $1,000. Great workout. Great, great workout.

We have a caller? We do have a caller. Wow, who's this? Do you like this hat? Why is it upside down? Do you know why it's upside down? That's just the vibe these days. it All right, you ready? Yeah, here he is ladies and gentlemen. Holy shit. He got a haircut. Oh God

Merry Christmas gauge We recognize this place that's right Are you solo? Yeah, just me Zane's on his way. All right. Are you better at muscle-ups than Zane? I don't know. We're gonna find out. I've never tried to do a bunch in a row like this, so I guess we'll see. Okay, is he gonna try too? No, I don't think so. Okay, that's fine. What's that? What do you do for programming? Oh, I'm What do you do for programming? Oh, I'm with a coach in Wiley here in Texas.

His name's Justin Morse. It's called The Extra. They're on Instagram. Nice. Yeah, it's great. Is it great, Taylor? I don't know who it is, so it could be. Coach Yale steals from him, too.

Probably. Y'all see everything? Gage, yeah, are you okay going by yourself, or do you need your brother there? Hold your hand? I think I can do it. All right, all right. Caleb will count you down. You let us know when you're ready He'll give you a countdown from five Then he's got a fat ass fat You know what I was gonna say Lizzy is Patrick's ass looks crazy. Yes, we're in his jeans That's her brother like weird like like lizzie's brother's got a huge ass too dude well she said

i'm weird lizzie said i'm here for saying that yeah her brother's butt was on fleek yesterday and i felt gay for noticing so i didn't want to say anything. It's definitely gay for noticing. All right. So instead, you say it live on TV. Yeah, I'm glad you feel safe here. Yeah, we're ready. Dan. Soon as you grab the muscle ups, we'll start the clock. OK, the beaver on the timer. Beep, beep, beep, beep.

He's never done this many muscle ups is that what he said? Oh he's got to keep his knees lower. But he has great hip drives. See how high his knees come up when he turns over? Yeah. He's doing long ass traps too. Is that why he's swinging back and forth? He's fucked I gotta pee.

He's done. Five. He's done. Okay Just started and Taylor is done with 20 or 10 right now. He's got a plan Oh nice, that's great. Yeah good for you bud. I was just out back fucking the goat. I didn't know you started. Oh shit Jesus Christ Gomer good job Gomer. I mean is that 10? I Thought he did more there I thought he did it was like six and six. Maybe he's a gauge. Where you at?

All right, cool. Good. Yeah. Good talk Maybe he is doing sixes. That's the plan that would make more sense Count this. This is three This is four He's five Okay, you're right, he's doing sixes. So he's at 18. 18. Okay.

All right. So he's just playing sixes all the way through. He felt that one though, that last one he felt. Yeah, yeah. Struggled under the gap. It'll be interesting to see if he stays diligent after 25. What's he at? 18. 18. He just did that thing, you you know when you push on like right next to your balls

Like when your balls go up inside of you He just did that thing where you push your balls back down in your sack. You see that My balls live inside my stomach Is that where you keep them safe or they live tucked behind my asshole That's that where you keep them safe Or they live tucked behind my asshole So yeah That's why you have a hemorrhoid dude You got them shoved up in your ass

Twenty-four at two oh eight Taylor was at twenty-eight So he's not too far behind Let's go Come on Come on You don't need any chalk with those grips What are they? It's the way oh, come on. Oh, yeah, you don't need any chalk with those grips

What are they I Don't know but I don't ever use chalk Hey, do you want my scripts gauge of you win is we could fill up all the John Muir lawnmowers in the neighborhood? That's gonna buy me about 200 gallons of diesel fuel propane and propane accessories Wow Wow what's going on here? Holy shit? What is happening? What's he at? 30 30. Yeah Three minutes, it's good. You're right on pace. Wow. He might can do it

Gosh darn you better something. He better have something big in the tank. He's it Besides that dumper. Oh, that's not a good sign up his tank. Come on His arm everyone's arms get so blown up he has the skinniest little calves though, so I feel like if anyone could do it it's him That's a good indicator of people who can do good muscle ups it makes him lighter like oh god that's three is that why you're so good at them so don't these I wonder if that's a new record for him for 30 but 33 he did yeah he did 30 and sub three I thought. He did. 252 for 30. Wow. This is where you hit the wall.

Oh yeah. 36. They look better now than when he started. He's entered the pain cave, ladies and gentlemen. Two minutes left to get 20% off. Paper Street Coffee, Lifetime subscription, 20% off. You got to get a subscription. KT24, capital KT2024.

Come on, Gabe, stay diligent here, come on. Support Gabe, he supports this show, show people putting up a thousand bucks a week and a thousand bucks on Christmas Here we go That's 39 he's this last 11 it just looks like a eight miles long 11 it just looks like a eight miles long Lose yourself in a moment do this set on broken gauge and you can win the thousand He might be the first to actually do the 50 in under six minutes though dick butter dang Justin Madaris is looking lame Like Justin Madaris a lot of nerve witches he looked like that why because his name is actually gauge and

he's a southern guy how many reps is that how many does he have left 42 he's got eight left eight oh you're gonna have to boogie 604 604 if he did that come on gauge get the fifth at least get the 50 in the time I don't think he's in the time. I don't think he's going to. I don't think he's going to, he doesn't have it. Wow. That's crazy.

Man, that one looked good. So you're good at muscle ups, huh? Even fucking off and being retarded and failing a rep and not yes. Hey Let's go gauge hey, do you want to let do you want to let the Krypton crew in do you want to let that fucking? Alien looking dude try no dude. We're in an hour and I gotta go home Just text back no I just text back no. Yeah, I can send him a picture of my mussy What are we at three left do the three do the three Get him gave them

Get them Tongue powers the 5050 from paper Street. Thank that sub on drinks is smooth black and a perfect blend Just how I like my men. Yeah 49 Clark nice, dude Get that seven minutes get that seven minutes Get that seven minutes. Get that seven minutes. Get that seven minutes. Jace takes the day. Good job, Jace. Hey, Birdman, if you're listening,

next week it'll be almost the same workout. So you can try to beat me, but I'm not gonna fuck it up next week. I'm gonna absolutely- Woo! There it is, it's a 655. You have no chance. Yeah. Nice, dude. Birdman's the guy who we communicate like, I'm gonna absolutely No chance

Nice bird man's the guy we communicate like hey, what was your game? What was your previous 30 second record 30 reps for time record? You know me? Yeah, I've never done it Oh, well good job, dude. That was a fucking effort, dude 252 30 Thanks here. What's up, Zane? 252. 252 for three. Or 30. Zane's here. What's up, Zane? Well, Zane, you want to go over to Jamba Juice

which me and Gabe afterwards, we'll get extra protein in there, then we'll go home and do a little Bible study? There's no Jamba Juice in the South. You got Jamba Juice? You got Jamba Juice and do some Bible study? Bring your Bible. We don't have Jamba Juice here. I'm going to get some juice in the south. You got juice and do some Bible study.

Bring your Bible. We don't have here. How do you we mute the commercials when we watch the NBA because some of the stuff is inappropriate. Hey, Gabe, next next week is going to be right in your

wheelhouse, dude. Is that right? Yeah, we're not letting anyone else in. You're the last one, two grand. Well, I'm gonna be sore until then, so. Me. Yeah, what did you guys do for Christmas? Did all the brothers get together? Yeah, we do our family stuff on Christmas Eve. So we did everything yesterday.

Then we're just working out today. I just got my frog grips yesterday. I tried them out for the first time. How'd you like them? I like them a lot. Wow. I don't know if I need a chalk though Call hey, dude Do you know what you're gonna be like when you get older? Gabe I got no idea watch the Simpsons Ned Flanders my kids are watching the Simpsons and there's the the neighbor Ned Flanders

He's a good dude Look at him. Yeah, he does. He does that's that's Flanders the He doesn't look 12, his body looks like fucking 22. That took three years for Gabe to grow out, leave him alone. Alright dude, you demand Merry Christmas. Thanks for being just such a great role model, you guys are a great family. Talk to you later brother. Appreciate y'all. Merry Christmas. Alright dude.

Alright, fuck Krypton. Coming in trying to take our cash, fucking bird man. Fuck that guy. All right everyone we love you thanks for joining us on Christmas have fun everyone I'll see you tomorrow morning I'm trying to get James Sprague on tomorrow morning let's see if we can do that party with James and we'll talk to the rest of you guys soon love you guys bye bye.