The Sevan Podcast - KT #36 | Come Get These Cheeks - $1000

Episode Date: January 19, 2025

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advisor free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. Welcome to the system and now it's trendy to be triggered and pretend you're a victim i'm over it welcome to the greatest show on earth can you guys hear me what's this happen yeah i can't listen to anybody who's gotten hog written on their mouth and stands in front of a crucifix oh geez does he have the word hog written on his mouth he's got something like that written on his mouth. Boy. This is Kil Taylor. Hey, try that again.

Try to win a thousand dollars. Good morning, Jessica, how are you? You think it's a thousand bucks already? Either he's getting fit or people are turning to shit. Yes. A second. This show is brought to you by Glint and Things Podcast. Either he's getting fitter or people are turning to shit Yes a second This show is brought to you by glint and things podcast Colleen and Garrett host the seven podcasts on a regular basis whenever I'm jacking myself off with two hands

And they have their own show called the glint and things it's a great show a ton of familiar faces on there tomorrow morning They have Craig Richie on it. It's a great show. A ton of familiar faces on there. Tomorrow morning they have Craig Richie on. It's going to be a banger. Oh, I'm preceding Craig Richie. You're welcome, Craig, for all those news you're about to get. Taylor Self is there, the fittest man in the world. If you think you are dumb enough to try the show, then you can compete against him. And here's the workout. What? Penwall complexes. I have no idea what those are. I can't wait to see those 20 box jumps to a 40 inch box. 30 cows on the rower. How many rounds? One. Wow. Oh, he's

really pushed out from last week. Wow. Really? You think so? He kind of earned it. 40 inch box jumps. 40 inches. Okay. I'll show you 40 inches. He's ready. No, you won't. Bryson, we're ready when you are. All right, you ready? Yes. Guys, make sure everyone sign up for the open.

The QR code is right. 10 seconds. Not there. Caleb, ready? I'm ready. It's in the bottom right. Five, four, three, two, one. Go.

And Bryson's really good at counting down like that. Okay. So it's a wall walk with a handstand pushup. That's what a wall complex is. Wow. He's on fire today. Oh, what's the measurement for that line? It was like whatever this normal standard was.

It was on the standards. Tyler walked in. So he won out on the. Pedro is here to try to say funny shit. It was on the standard. Tyler walked in. He went out on the walls. Pedro is here to try to say funny shit. Caleb's running the clock to try to try to. I don't know what's he's doing. No one knows what he's doing. Nobody knows.

I think that's that's what he's doing. David, we need those Danny Metcons are ugly. I agree. I agree. I agree. Tranny Medcons. What is he doing? Hey, I was talking to my mom about Trannies the other day and you know what she said to me?

She goes, do you use that word Tranny to try to be offensive? What? I like Orion Morgz. What are you talking about? Yes, no. I love Orion Morgz. My sister's like, she doesn't understand you.

I was like, oh. 53 seconds Wow Me I got his head on that pull-up bar. Wow. He is flying. He is flying James breaking got nothing on him Why don't you try this one James you little pussy? He's wearing the Ronald McDonald suit shoes So he didn't wear the fucking stupid ass rads. Oh My god Did rad really drop all of their sponsors and their athletes in Europe? Yeah.

Every single one? And Australia. Oh my goodness. But they have a really cool version too, don't they? Yeah, it looks like some baby version of an alien trying to eat your foot. It's fucking disgusting. They look like Jay. The owner is willing to talk about American politics.

He is? And trash people for their choice of president. But he's happy to, you know, make money off American people and just keep American athletes. All of them are not American. That's right. He was talking shit about Trump, Sir Trump, wasn't he? Yeah. Can you write an open letter? 155. Here we go.

Here we go. Pedro, are you sick? Do you have a cold? No, it was just, I don't know, a bit of a cold stuck on my throat or something. That happens now and again. Pakistani, you got Pakki coming your throat. I'm too old.

Wow. And the cool thing about the Pakki child molesters is that they're straight. So they only go after the girls. That the cool thing about the Packy child molesters is that they're straight. So they only go after the girls. That's cool. Your boys are safe. Your boys are safe in England. Don't worry. Get in there Bryson. Stand by New York. You know that?

Oh QR code. Oh there's the QR code. Look at that. On demand. Oh yeah. You know that Irish guy Oh, there's the QR code. Look at that on demand. Oh, yeah. You know that Irish guy who shared clips of Savan. I can't remember his name, but it's just him on a mic talking about stuff happening. Jason CF Media. Wow.

Two 47. Irish guy. Two 47. Pedro White. The shortest workout ever. Could be the shortest Kil Taylor workout of all time. We get Barry a little fucking snitch ass bitch Susa where's rads Susan wait. Hey that QR code doesn't work. Hey bitch. I got him for free. That's okay. They can go Damn, right. I got both those shoes for free. So if anybody will sponsor's want to send me anything

I will stay. I've bought every pair of rads that I have. So I like them. I like the shoe. I couldn't get it to work. No problem. Maybe your screen. My screen is not big enough.

You need to unlock your phone. There we go. I got it. I got it. His lights on the whole south facing camera. Register for the open now. Get a free shirt. All right. Hot singles in your area. Oh, okay. Cool. Yeah. Shortest kill Taylor workout of all time. Wow. Look at him. He's already done. Is that true Tyler? Yep Look it he can even put his own shit away That's a first and a text. I don't even know if I'm getting texts this morning

Quick somebody sent him a dick pic Brandon Brandon Smith, you should call in man. This is a good one for you The hell is even that? And it's too big to do the wall complexes. It's only ten. Yeah You should call in man. This is a good one for you The hell is even that That's too big to do the wall complexes. It's only ten. Yeah, yeah This is the easiest workout we've had on kill teller Jesus Christ this is scaring me how chilly is oh, mom We've got 53 minutes and kill guys Mertens dude, we're to get 20 people who calling today. It's going to be fucking crazy.

Why are you calling in? Wrong call in. Hello. Hello. Yeah. Hey. Yeah. I'm ready.

Okay. Go ahead. We'll listen. Oh, send me the link. How do you, how do I get the link? Oh, I'm ready. He just finished the wall walks. Okay, go ahead. We'll listen He just finished the wall walks go ahead we're listening we trust you I'm ready, okay Oh, that's a good idea, how about you text this number so I can Better premise for the show.

I thought I thought the young crowd was smart. Wow these kids are funny. You didn't believe the young crowd was smart for a second. These kids are really smart. I want free stuff and the government takes care of me. I'm ready. Brison Del Monte the guy with the eyes pointing front, the guy who looks like an owl. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Tell me the backstory on this workout. Why is Taylor such a pussy this morning? Yeah.

I think he just, we didn't really have an idea for a kill tail workout and we came up with it in like 20 seconds yesterday. No, they just think it's an easy workout He's pissed Yeah, he should be pissed his whole premise was hey I'm gonna make these so painful that no one wants to do them and after last week after he kicked his own ass He's he's something's happened to him. He's brain damaged I do think that this is one of those instances like suza brings this up a lot Taylor makes 40 inch box jumps look really easy,

but everyone's gonna be like, oh, this is a sprint and then get five box jumps and it'd be like, wow, I can't jump. His box jumps were so sexy, I'd let him jump on my hole. All right, we're gonna go, Mike's gonna cut out for a second. Who's gonna collab? Okay, I just called in, here we go.

Here comes the link, here it comes. We'll see how smart this guy is. I bet you this guy's eyes are closer together than Bryson's. I bet he's not even ready to go. We should go jail to program a kill Taylor. He just programs this breakout. If you don't call in this week, you're you're a puss. Glenton things podcast is brought to you by Glenton things podcast $500 from them $500 from holy balls. By the way, you guys bought so many fucking holy balls. When you guys buy holy balls, they want to sponsor the show again. Remember that. Keep buying all the shit from our sponsors. Go over to Glenton Things podcast and subscribe

now please just go over there and subscribe and then they'll be like, Oh, that was 500 bucks well spent. Did we get the subscriber count we started we should do something fun and and what if it we if they reach a thousand today we should give away some shit yeah let's put a link so you can go over there you know a year of Sentinel if they to somebody if they reach a thousand damn how far off it has literally a year of Sentinel I'm finding out right now hopefully pretty they are at 678 subscribers there we go. Let's go

I have a theory before this guy comes on I have it Well, we'll talk about my theory of why you made this workout after we see this guy go. What's up smarty pants? What's up? You are What the fuck makes you two idiots think that you know more about creating a workout for me than I do for myself. Tyler so on the semi finals.

Who cuts your fucking hair dude sure what is it what is that oh yeah they're not gonna come close yeah but I'll come fucking rotate this is an easy workout. Don't worry. I can show us your mom. Looks we're not worried about anything around you buddy. Except for maybe making things. I'm going to whoop ass. Dude, you look like you eat children, dude. I'm serious. Hey, are you like 12 feet tall? You look like fucking the, the junk guy, the giant. You look like fucking the giant peacock guy, the giant

Olaf! I'm in Colin Merton Olaf! Fuck it Olaf Hi, I'm Olaf and I like warm hugs He does look like Olaf Except for him

In Game of Thrones that was the guy that Oh I know, hey Kevin, I went to high school with that guy Hey, what up Taylor? Kevin, what's up? What's up guys? Guys, we are live on KillTaylor And that's the guy who plays Olaf actually I made out with Kevin join us the party don't tell anyone these guys are about to go next Glitten things is the

sponsor we're trying to get them to focus who's the doctor oh maybe it's thousand subscribers come live come over Hey, this is the kind of guy where he has the back of his head doesn't exist It's just as a neck straight up to the top of his head. It's completely flat So this entire body just brand new all the time. I mean, thank you for watching. Thank you for watching. Come on over Come on He's never got IG I am guys look it's down syndrome me come on come on Let's go yeah pump them up get in the comments let them know you came Yeah, yes We all Yes. Yes. If we get our own fucking clock. Mute.

Mute, Susie. Holy fuck, Susie, shut up. Right, Susie. No, it just goes, hey, so one wall walk, one straight wall facing. And you have to walk back down, and that completes the left. And then that's one. Correct. Yes.

You have to walk back to your face, though., I told you this guy wouldn't be ready. Tyler Watkins from the Heat 1 app on the split, Pedro with the commentary, Taylor with the defensive commentary. I put chocolate on the wall. I'll give y'all a countdown. Yeah, we're going to hang up if he doesn't start in 10 seconds. OK. Oh, I was doing it on a gymnastic.

Hey, you got to start on the other side of the line facing the wall With your hands on your head with his hands on his hands three two. Yes. I was hands on his head Jesus Taylor gets his uh Details from CrossFit Games. Oh, he's already fucked You guys you guys left me on that off mute that long it's time I learned when did I finish my Terry probably around ten minutes okay so much for you and your fucking fucking asshole 53 seconds he's douged oh we had so we had the fancy clock on when you were doing his hitters.

Dude, his dumper jiggles more than Spiegel's, dude. Jesus Christ. Look at his dumper. He's making like six steps. He does it. There you go, Cam. He's hitting the ground. Let's go, Cam.

Let's go, Cam. Cam. What was I at? I was at 53. He's on pace. He's on pace. Peter Maras is coming in. Oh! I hope that's him.

I think his head weighs 30 pounds. That's only 8 seconds off pace already. 1. Oh! 2. Oh! Wow, so easy, guys. Hey, so easy.

Three easy to me. He's cruising. Yeah, dude. This workout. You guys are on that box. Hey, this is a good workout of no one beats you Taylor. No rep. Thanks. You be doing that. the no reps are bad slowing down Hey Taylor came off 155 now. Oh, he's halfway through by the phone Assholes Yeah, he's got a little shorts at the top of the right time the the the

the the the the the the the the the the- the- the- the- the- the-

the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the Let's go cam. It's the last thing you do. This is the last time you'll ever do CrossFit. Are there female numbers for this? No. Almost halfway done. the the the the the

the division. Six. Oh, wow. He's almost a minute. Oh, two minute workout. He's barely pulling 17. I mean, did they see the original time? Why are they still? I appreciate it. Good job, Olaf. Nice. You know, I want to call it.

I want to hear. I want to hear. I want to talk to this dude Dude congrats, he just won a thousand dollars Damn how old are you? 19. Yeah, dude. Oh, yeah job, dude, barely legal How dare you try to step in here with Taylor you have balls of steel? Oh, what, you're a pain. Good job, dude. Barely legal. How dare you try to step in here with Taylor? You have balls of steel. What did you get? I was an entire 53 seconds faster than you on a two-minute workout.

Hey, get you next to me, I will be all day. Don't do that. Don't do that. He's not good with online programming. Online programming is really hard for him. Don't do that. He's not good with that online programming. Online programming is really hard for him. He likes in person. If I had that popcorn, I would have got it. He kind of looks like Biff out of Bi-Future. Listen to this guys. Fucking Maris walks into

the gym with fucking a whole box of coffees. You know, gets brice and a fucking nice little crepe and nothing for me. No dude. I don't want to know. Hey, Cam, do you know that Kevin knows Taylor? I think Taylor like gave him a ride somewhere back to like the brothels.

We went to high school together. I went to five high schools and the high school I went to with him was one of them. Yeah. How do you go to five high schools in four years? I dropped out. Hey, Cam, can I ask Kevin a quick couple questions? Hey, what up, Savon? By the way, your shirt is beautiful.

Please get that a VNDK8.com vindicate.com all shirts are 75% off at some time. I don't know when new new website. What was what was Taylor like in high school? Did you know that you were fucked up? Were you like, he fucked up? Jesus Christ. Hey, what was Taylor like in high school? Did you know that you were fucked up? Were you like he fucked up? Jesus Christ What was Taylor like in high school?

I was the fucking worst. Hey, I did. I just did two workouts before that. Oh shut up. Nobody cares. Stop where you are right now. Great job. No excuses. Hey, thank excuses. You're probably 10 times cooler than

me than I was in high school. Bro Taylor was crazy in high school. Cool, cool. Was it scary being around him? Like if you around him, you're like, fuck anything could happen. He'll take your lunch money

shoving a fucking locker. Classic holy Nervous, dude. He'll take your lunch money shove you in a fucking locker Holy Was he always hung over and drunk was he on off was he all fucked up all the time I actually didn't know that he was drinking all the time. I just found that out through your I was sober at Marshall functional alcoholic Well, yeah alcoholic well done yeah at Marshall that one high your look offers a lot of comedic fodder please keep calling in

you are a face that there's endless jokes about thank you you're welcome dude thank you thanks Olaf I just did three workouts I just went for a fucking 5k run you're live baby oh wow what the fuck is on this guy's head isn't that great value just in a

place dude this is our boy today this guy's head? He's got great value just in the tears. Jesus Christ dude. This is our boy today. This is our horse. That's gonna beat your fucking ass. Wow. I think he's gonna make a video of me shitting on you. What are the female standards though? There are no female standards, it's gender neutral. That's a guy.

Come on. No. What are the ladyboy standards? 32 inches? Fuck no. 32 and 24 No. One of the ladyboy standards. 32 inches? Fuck no. 32 and 24? No, no, no, no, no, no. Sorry, man. Sorry, Sam.

17, 36. Who's calling in to beat me as a female? Him, him. Oh, female. Caroline was thinking about it. Oh, Caroline. Do it. Spencer.

Oh, yeah. Definitely not giving her anything to make it easy. Oh, yeah There was some nobody bitch I would give her like a couple of cows but Caroline Spencer's too fit fuck that Wow You're really scared Maderas or panchic that's correct. That was. Look at that. I thought it was Adam Niper. Q-Tip is scared. It looks like Niper. Wow. Wow. Q-Tip? Yo. Hey, how many Q-Tips did you put this morning behind FedRuckers? I want to see you go head to head with them on 30 Cal Row. Let's do it, Mr. Q. I'd rape his butt.

You got me, Mr. Q. Let's do it. Oh, damn. Wow. Let's do it. I know. Is that Jersey Shores or what? Oh, we got a popping. Oh, damn. Wow. Let's do it. I know. Is that Jersey Shores or what? Oh, we got a popping. Oh, it's Mikey from Jersey Shore.

What's the guy's name? The situation. What is it? What? I got no, we can, they're going to have the clock on the video. Hey, get your, no, no, no, no numbers. They said no female numbers. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,

hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,

hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, Are you guys ready for the Glock? You guys ready? Yeah, we have to start poking the wall, you know. Hey, can I make a suggestion? Can I make a suggestion? Samuel Samuel Jake Chapman has a suggestion for your horses. He says take off your hat you fucking idiot Take off your hat

Don't do it! Don't let it be long, you bitch! Put it back on, put it back on Idiot he's not. No, no, don't start. He's not. Jesus Christ. Whatever. This fucking cocksucker talking. Whatever. Oh, guys, we need you to go over to Glint and Things and subscribe.

We got to at least get this thing to 700. There's 700 of you watching. It costs you absolutely nothing. The link is in the freaking comment section. Click it, go over there and subscribe please. And thank you. Do we have a link we can put in the chat already got it? It's their third time in there, too people are slacking I

Would pin it but I forgot how fast Taylor did the workout Up to 693. Peace clock. Great negative. Wow. Great negative. You know I think he'd be a lot better if he just had maybe the width of a hat extra on top of his head. Just to make it a small bit easier. Just that little button that's right on the top of his hat. Hey, this guy.

Here's the thing, this must be like their best box jumper or something. He must have confidence somewhere in the workout where he's going to ass. Oh, that's a shoulder. Leo, that's a no wrap buster. Chill out, Taylor. He just did a lot of strict press before this workout. Technically, this is a rest day for him. The way my programming works. I just did three workouts, but if you were here right now, I'd beat you.

I knew it. It's his box jumps. He's a jumper. Oh, is it? Oh, are we counting that? Okay. Three, three. We're going to see our first, uh, Achilles tear on this show.

Stop it. Before this workout, Tyler, I was flipping out. I was like, damn, I haven't done a lot of high box. I'm sort of like my Achilles. I kept thinking that it was fucked. He's really good at these. He knew he was going to be good at something. 10. Before you program this Taylor, that's probably where you went wrong. 1212. Yep. 13. He's got much shit we would have gotten if Taylor did tears of kiddies and we just sat here with the clock running just waiting waiting for the finish. Well, it's gonna be easy to beat this week guys. 17 1000 bucks if you can beat him. Here we go. So many names. Don't forget to extend your

labia majoras on your box jumps buddies looking fucking weak. I eat it's over Good try dude. Hey, you got 20 seconds Every single wall Workout by the way, super easy. See you do it finished in two minutes. I Easy workout by the way super easy. See you do it Nick finished in two minutes. I Think he's making fun of us per se and it was very McCaulkin and the only thing you've buried your cock And is your fucking dad's butthole, dude Sign up for the open now. The QR code is in the upper right hand. Sign up for the open now. The QR code is in the upper right hand corner.

Sign up for the open. Now. James, Greg is nine. That's a dope shirt. Taylor, what were you pulling on this? 26.5. She that's crazy rowing form. Look, he just stays like a snail the whole time.

Oh, he's not even in the two thousands buddy. You suck. You're doing great. Belly button. He doesn't try really hard. One more. This guy just worked out. 29.

Good job. Oh, look at the squad! All fucking showed. Hey where's Ben? What's going on with the general? Oh no he's back there. Tell Ben we got Ben. Make sure you tell Ben. We love him. Great guy.

Those members with the haircut. Is VJs wearing underwear? Yeah that guy. He DJ is wearing underwear. Can we talk to him, bro? Yeah, that guy, he woke up like this. He's wearing pajamas. Look at that guy. Damn, dude. He's just in lifting class.

Hey, I wanna ask you something. Hold on, same as y'all. Where's Coop? Can we talk to Coop? Can you talk to Sean about Coop? Coop, yeah. You fucked up on the wall, but that was good, though. Hey, Coop, Coop, your box jumps look really good, dude. Box jumps look great good, dude.

Box jumps look great. What happened with the handstand pushups? Did you think they were gonna be easier? You said what happened on the handstand pushups? Oh, my traps like blocked up. I couldn't push out of it. And when you saw the workout, did you think you had a chance?

Saw? When you saw the workout, did you think you had a chance? For sure. Because of the box jumps? Because you look really good on the box jumps. You look great on a chance? For sure. Because of the box jumps? Because you look really good on the box jumps. You look great on the box jumps. You were moving on the box.

If you would have had fucked up, you would have been fucked up. Yeah. Hey, does it rain pussy on you? You look like a really handsome guy. Do you get a lot of chicks? No. You got all the chicks. Did Jared Graybeal steal your look?

Oh. Hey, that's maybe everywhere's a gold chain. the the the the the I'm so glad I waited for that. You're welcome. Good. Stop with the sound effects.

I'm going to get pissed. Oh, you're going to get pissed. Okay. That's not me. Hey, never tell anybody what pisses you off because then we're just going to roll with it forever Caleb's I already pissed me off and people give me money I had a ditty party and I drug you to get fucked by. Hi, I'm Darius. I'm a vampire.

And I want to kill Darius. He looks like Gaston. Amen, brother. Amen, brother. Hell yeah. No one's paying on their phones for fuck's sake. Hey, hey, let's work out. This guy's also in the training division. the the

the the the Hey, fucker we drug test just so you know, yeah Taylor Can you just turn the phone sideways first can you turn the phone can you put to turn the phone There you see in Miami almost, of course sideways. Yes Colors and the cocaine work out here and the wall Kid does say give up Julian Alvarez the

the the the the the the the the

the the whatever you want to do buddy whatever you want to do let's play another word bro get somebody to translate I'm gonna crib whatever you want we're scared of vampires whatever you want you're starting facing the wall and we're gonna start a countdown in 5 4 3 2 1

go this is the easiest workout this ever been Oh Damn that is crazy We're getting three festering over there This guy was a gymnast or something. This guy's all upper body. Yeah He got that good coke with no fentanyl It's so kind of like it is straight from the source. Yeah, he's gonna box jump like fucking mario

I think this is six This is seven Damn lying on pace Mute him what's this guy's name? Mute. This guy's name is Vampire Joe. Wow, he's on face. He's ahead. Now it's going to get serious.

Oh, no, no. Kind of sketchy. Oh, redemption rep. Redemption rep. Sorry buddy. Too big of a step back When did tight tell when did come off this 155? That for real say that you're five Your cycle rate on the box jumps was flying six

Damn, and how do you think you have to do? 20? Yeah. Oh, he's in big trouble. Yeah. It's that step back. It's like too far. Taylor didn't go that far back. This is the greatest program workout of all time.

Running shoes. That's all they got down there, bro. Hey, you made this up, Taylor. Yes. This is last night after I was jerking off. He got that post-nut clarity. He's like, oh, I got it. Lizzy was at work. What number is he on?

I have no idea. So Taylor just finished right now. Yeah. Yeah. This guy's lost about again already during the show. Impressive with no hands, man. Time to beat two 47 time to be two. Is that right? Two 47. Yeah.

Well, he's got 30 seconds to get 30. Now like a three K. What? No way. No way. On the rower, Jeffrey, I make all the workouts except for the ones I get from Bryson Jr. And I make up all the ones I don't. All right. Right. Right. Right.

I actually get most of them from Coach L. That's right. Shout out Coach L. Who who gets them from you. So technically you've actually been able to work. It's just a circle jerk, really. Actually, Daniel Brandon does bad at the games this year. Just blame me. Blame Sentinel. the This is the best performance we've seen. Hey buddy, this is really attractive to all the guys who want you to twerk on their dick when you round your back like that. It's just not attractive at all.

It's very attractive. 309. Wow. Wow, that was quick. Is that the best time? Look at his screen. Show us the screen. Rower screen.

2200 I think when I saw it. Let me see the rower screen. I think you needed. Can you see the rower screen? Look at that. That's a good one. I think you needed. You see the rower screen. Look, I get away. You wearing eye makeup. Holy fuck. Darius. Oh, it's downtown strength and fitness in Miami.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I'm asking you guys Yeah I'm dropping that DTSC Oh shit, hey Alonzo, what's that guy? Bruce Wayne goes there, right? Is that your gym, Darius? Yeah, it is What's the name of it? Downtown Strength and Conditioning

Downtown Strength and Conditioning, are you doing the open this year? I am doing the open this year You the man, great fucking year. You're a beast. Thanks for calling in. Great. That was a great fucking effort. I was honestly a little nervous on the handstand. Yeah. He said to come visit his gym. I got an erection. Is that normal? Yeah. All right, dude, thank you. Thanks guys. Awesome work. Oh guys, this adds up. Uh, he's brianah roni's friend from when she lived in miami friend Well, she definitely didn't help him with his road technique. I'll tell you that you don't have sex with your friends Oh my god

Hey guys All these robots falling in fucking Ken from Superman here Mason Griffin cross at Wintersville Mason Mason, what are your pronouns? I like this guy. How tall are you? I'm 511 I'm not tall enough to be a model. All right. I want to take this rig in you look like

you're absolutely ripped. Yeah, we want to see your package. Can you move back from the camera? The mirrors. The James Sprague. I like the way better looking. Damn. Hey, just give him the money. A thousand dollars.

Let's just do it. What did you say, Mason? Stop flexing. I got like seven mirrors so I can look at myself at all times. Dude, is that your girl next to you? What does she look like? She's got to be a like an 11, huh? I'm not quite as cute Off to yourself, huh you ever jerk off to yourself alternating Thursdays but Really cool of you to have an ugly Armenian friend every every good-looking dude

All the chicks are coming out of the comments section now. Look, there's like Courtney. We've never even seen her before. Mason's. Oh, the love Courtney. Where's Heidi? You know, she's lurking. Yeah, he's drowning in the wrong pussy juice right now. Oh my

god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Everybody else was supposed to start with their hands over your head you need to do I'm gonna get high, you snorkel! Okay, he's getting ready to go! He's getting ready to go! Get Caleb on the clock! Alright, I'm ready, I'm ready. I don't know where to fuck, my stomach! Hey, I'm gonna get my countdown. Alright, thanks.

Fuck, here we go. Mr. Steal Your Girl, indeed, Ryan. Holy fuck! Fuck! Mr. Steal Your Girl, that's good. Come on, go. Holy shit. Oh Holy shit guys go subscribe to Glidden things there at 709. What the hell? Let's go. We got 773 people watching this ocean there if we get a thousand subscribers Mason's gonna take his shorts off. Oh, yeah Hey, so y'all show this thing got some go Thing got some go. He's a few reps in let's wait to those options. Huh? Hey, it's drink the body. Rachel is gonna be crazy

No, I hate that fucking noise Here when you're having sex by the way on the upstroke that the sound he's beating the brakes off that thing that's what happened with Bonnie Blue Oh what the fuck Caleb! What? What? What? The clock froze for a second, it keeps freezing No that's not gonna be alright It's always on pace whenever it comes back That's the sound you heard when Bonnie Blue hit 1,054

Oh shit! We got a box shop race Oh god! Oh no! Oh Mr. Still your money to holy shit He's gonna pull 2700 on the rower damn Amazing do this hey Damn. Oh, he's on Viscous. He's gonna look amazing, dude. Eight. Nine. Look how nervous Taylor is right now. Nine, keep this face, keep this face. He does set, no, I'm not that nervous.

At least somebody I like will get my money. He does? Yeah. Well, nice. Let's go, let's go. 13. Oh, shit. 14.

Wow. Let's go. 15. When did I get off? 155. 14. Wow. Let's go. 15. When did I get off? 155. I got off three seconds ago. Okay, we got Kaelin on that one.

We got that one. Oh, it's a rowing race! 152. Are you kidding me? Stay right on the fucking rower friend Armenian? I'm talking Taylor. Oh, sir. Go on the screen.

Get on the screen. There you go. There you go. Oh boy. Oh my God. We have a race. Either show him shirtless or the screen. All right, no, I'm green screen screen screen screen I'm gonna make it. Oh

Oh How many calories? 30 30 he's not gonna make it. Oh no 47 seconds to 47 My god 47 seconds to 47 500 bucks Dude Holy shit dude. What dog did it? Wow. One second.

He didn't get shit. Suck a dick, Brock. He didn't get it. Damn. One second, sir. Fuck me. Eye goes to the champ. I think you're one second off. We think you're one second off. We think you're one second off.

248. 248. What did you have? I was 247. I think I was 246. It was either 47 or 48, but I think it was 48. Hey, what did you what's your your Armenian friends say we can't hear you Mason we got 248 you don't have a clock there yeah I'm gonna go see it behind the screen yeah it was gonna check Caleb's gonna check okay we're going back to check we saw 248 on our clock. Um, you guys saw 2 46? I did. I don't know. I don't know. I wasn't looking at it. Okay. Thank you for trying. Bye. Tie goes to Taylor every time.

All right. Whatever. Dude, that was, that was impressive, dude. So Taylor says you're stealing sentinel training from your brother brother your brother pays for it and you steal it. No Clearly 249 on their block. Are you a brute athlete? Is that what it is? 49 seconds and he got 49 on your clock go back Can we watch the last couple seconds? Yeah, right here. It's 248 and he's a 29 cows. What a man 245 look at their clock 47 on their clock

Hey, that's probably a second Mason. Yeah damn By the way good camera work to get the screen in the clock in that shot right there, dude, that was good I didn't even notice that Yeah, dude, you're hired He's got us sleeping the couch outside. Hey, I will give you this. You recovered quicker than Taylor. I'll take it. All right. Thanks for letting us all your goodies.

Yeah, he's the hottest guy I've seen this year. Yeah, me too. Hey, careful with the shot. It's gonna be nice to pull my nuts out. You won't do it. Pull him out. Pull him out. Pull him out. Let us see that batling. the you Jake Lockard. Hey, it's like we're glad to have Jake Lockard in the food line. That's nice. Jake Lockard's cool. So, we have a class going on in the background. They're doing the open workout. What is it? That has got to be the most ghetto CrossFit gym I've ever seen. What's the thing about that? Is this a separate room? Yeah. Well, okay. You guys want to, do you guys want to see? I'll take a second.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You don't want to **** Wait, is this the place we've been to a bunch? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, it's mom's house. Okay. It's mom's house. Alright. Oh **** Alright. See it. Oh, I accidentally did that Nice

Mom Mom throw it back. Nothing, nothing, nothing. Beautiful facility. It's very nice to be let people train at your mom's house. Very nice. Yeah. Thank you guys. Yeah.

Okay. We're ready when you are. He said they were doing the crazy that he would call it. My mom won't even watch the show. She won't even consider it. Brandon. Are you doing the open? Are you doing the open?

Yeah. Good. Good boy. Alright. Hey, where's this? Oh, true. Very ready. 10 seconds. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Stand up. Stand up. Stand up. Stand up. Stand up. No, no, no, no. One and go. Wow. He's clear. Oh The door open yeah, yeah

Oh, he's got a box jump outside. That's why it's open. Oh straight concrete head Damn Be funnier if you had to open it to go outside do the box It'd be funnier if you had to open it to go outside to the box. We're like, where's he going? Did the door open? Oh, he's done. Oh, oh, oh, geez. That was right on the helmet. Five one. And you're off pace.

Oh, God, that hurts my nuts, dude. This guy has no shot. Six. Those legs keep getting a little wider each time. Hey people who are going to call in, listen very carefully. If you start all fucked up, we're not going to give you the reps, you're going to do the whole fucking work and you're not going to get the money. Pay attention to how Taylor started. Eight.

It's a thousand bucks. He's going to fail rep ten, watch. Yep, the handshake was the tell. the the the the the the the the

the the the Well, that was fun. Uh, okay. Uh, can we add in? Can we add in? Well, at least we didn't embarrass you in front of your mother. That's something, I guess. Brandon, come talk to us, buddy. Come talk to us. Oh, man. Have you ever done 10 wall walks with the handstand push-up before the complex?

No, what had happened was... We saw what happened. We saw what happened. No, no. Hey, listen, listen. I'm not going to move. Whatever. You guys don't need to know. know what happened was the the the the the

the the the the the the the the it. Oh, before this. So Brandon, hold on. Let's let Taylor respond to that Taylor.

He just did 4040 wall walks in a workout. Yeah, I was just saying maybe you shouldn't have done that. Maybe you'd have $1,000. I know. Well, I didn't know what the workout was at the time. What a good dude.

That's such a bummer. Chances that you beat me after a 40 minute imam or zero. Huh? Good job. It made fun of by the girl in the skirt too. Why isn't she calling in? You know, you know, you know, it's even

worse. Is everybody watching me? No, no. Hey, don't be so reprimanded. It's gay. Okay. Oh He's got a point Taylor Brandon thank you Alright anybody who has who calls in has has a ball to call in is How can you not try this week it's it's It's a fucking gimme this week. Oh jeez. Taylor. Hey Taylor.

Hey, hey. I was joining a 3-fums show. What's that thing hanging off your computer? Your dongle. That can't be good. Can't Hamley. Is that an external hard drive or something? Hamley. Bryson, please don't get in the shot. You're going to ruin our numbers.

Thank you. My audience just doesn't know you. I forgot. That's for Jason. Maybe if you become big time Bryson, stay out of the shot. I just want to be good enough to have an agent. You don't want to be corrupted by an agent Bryson. I want to be good enough so that an agent reaches out to me and like Asked to represent me. I can just tell him to suck a fat one

Brayston the show's called that your show is blow Taylor not kill Taylor Hey, that's a different series on sevens. That's actually on Review it Penis back to my metcons these are the best fucking shoes ever created they were hand sewn by a bomb over in wuhan uh they were on sale at rogue these are the sixes i think they were on sale at rogue for 70 bucks so i bought two pair and they're the most durable fucking crossfit shoe ever it's crazy and i don't get shit from Nike and it's a shitty company But if you have skinny deform feet like JR Howell and Taylor self

You can wear me. Oh, this is crazy Magnus Holman wants to be my agent. He just takes My seam and his payment. Do you want it orally or? nice Not all of it only 98% got to go to Mexico for that one. Oh 98% He wants the first bit on his face and then he'll take the rest God Okay, I think Early today guys such a fucking easy workout. Yeah, dude. I don't know why nobody beats you. It's pretty easy, dude

We have time we have time for one more. No, we don't We have time for one is next week No, we don't have we don't yeah, I'm doing it next week during the water blues We don't have one time for one more. I don't want to get beat today. Let's hang out What up loses next week? Yeah Is it? Oh, yeah. Wow, it's already. Oh guys. Oh the bling bling's podcast subscribe Subscribes what's the count right now? We're at 717 come on guys. Wow, they put on like 60 or 70 still cost you nothing. You just go over there and hit the trash

Hey Trish, shut the fuck up. God, I hate Trish. Sorry. Tell me how bad do you hate Trish? Tell me how bad. I just envision Trish is like this fucking like, you know, you have you seen the South Park episode, make love, not Warcraft. And there's that fat guy with the long brown hair and the acne and he's like fucking typing on his keyboard and he's morbidly obese. Come all over, catches the shit from behind the chair when he leans forward. Yes, that episode, that episode. That's how I imagine. Amazing.

I still. He's like, man, toilet. And she comes down with a can and he just blows a turd all over. Great episode. God damn. You're really good. Impressive of that. Hey, you know that, you know, somewhere in the world, You're doing a really good impression of that. Man! Man!

Hey, you know somewhere in the world there's like five guys standing around a cell phone. Dude, just do it. Just do it. Just send them a text. Just do it. Come on. Just do it. And they're all at my gym right now.

It's the same two guys every weekend. They're like, we're going to call. And then they don't. Seriously, do you have a call? They call it Brad? Call in, you pussies. I don't understand. Get up, Brad Brad? Call in you pussies. I don't understand.

Get out. That was weird. 721 come on let's go. Trisha you're a 59 year old woman you're a little dry to be talking like that. Why don't you take a dusty bag of bones somewhere else. It sounds like a 69 year old woman.

They dip shit. I will get a hall pass and smash you Trish. If you really are 69 year old, you know what I think of whenever I see a Tesla. This is actually a thought the other day that popped in my head. I was like, damn, imagine being a flaming liberal Tesla driver. You're like so woken liberal and now you have to get in your car. Every time you get in your car car all you can think about is how Elon Musk Endors Trump and the vehicle you're buying paid for that And though and you're just tripping that Facebook doesn't have fact-checking anymore the whole day. Oh my god There's no fact-checking off Facebook is not fast checking anymore. Does that mean Instagram is removing? It's like like when people follow me they have to like click. Yes confirm

Yeah, no mean you are shadow banned to fucking death dude. That's crazy. Fuck that my my reach is crazy for being shadow banned. Your reach around is crazy too. Oh dude check out this x-ray that Jake Chapman just sent me. Actually this is my doctor sent me this x-ray after my latest knee surgery. This is a 1980 meme dude. Jesus good. Looks good Taylor. Oh yeah. Perfectly in focus. Yeah. That's actually we got it. You can get on that. That's not funny. Okay. I saw before the internet was a thing dude. Thank you. That's exactly how x-rays work too. He got it on the cartoon section of the newspaper. X-rays only show your dick as the fleshy part. Well, if it's hard. It can't pick it up if it's soft.

Yeah, you have to have a boner. That's what he said. You guys are so good. I have a condition where my dick is made of bone. Sine. Yep, that's right, dude. That explains all the awkward mornings. Hey, if someone doesn't send a text in the next minute we're out.

Dude we're out now dude stop it. Call the number. Don't do that again. Just call it. Okay one final topic. We'll start with Pedro. Is Colton Merton the best thruster in the history of CrossFit athletes? After yesterday's performance has he surpassed Matt Fraser? I barely know her. Yeah, no, he's ridiculous.

Better than Fraser? Oh my god. He's growing up frowning. Yeah, I mean, he doesn't have to be because they're never going to compete against each other. He's the best currently now. He's fucking insane. That's a great answer, Kaj. You're talking elite fitness is taking applications for commentators. You should head over there. Great.

Great stance. This is a lot of that. I don't call it. There's six million downloads. Hey, shut up. Jessica Rivera. Why would Taylor call women bitches? I've never called the woman a bitch in my life, except when I was seven years old and

my cousin told me to call my mom a bitch and I didn't know what it meant. And so I said it and my mom slapped the fuck out of me. Sounds like I've only called trans people and other men, bitches. It's just a shit, but hoes and tricks. That's a great. Hey, you know what the biggest difference between Fraser and Colton is? What is cool? Colton has an enormous, an enormous pair of balls and he'll do qualifiers

live on a show and he'll call into a show and he'll reshare things and repost things and make posts himself when he's on a podcast and he feeds the community consistently over and over and over. Wow. Wow. One more thing. This is a crazy story about Matt Fraser that I know. You guys ready for this? Oh, hey, Colton, I gave you this idea. I'm still waiting.

Maybe it was Bryson. Let me read this really quick. Let me read this real quick. I'll do friendly Fran and smash smash Matt Frazier's time. And that's what's up. Okay. Smash. Go ahead. So apparently Matt Frazier was like gonna throw the first pitch at this baseball game and he was practicing like he would like go out in his front yard and practice throwing So apparently Matt Frazier was like gonna throw the first pitch at this baseball game and he was practicing like he would like go out in his front yard and practice throwing the ball because he didn't want to look like a fucking retard when he was like out there actually doing it. You know how like, so he went out for no Keith.

That's acceptable. I'd do that. Yeah, but then he ended up actually not doing it because he was scared. Hiller would make a video about him being a retard and not being able to throw baseball and that's the difference. Is that true story? No way. How do you know he didn't do it because scared Hiller would make a video about him being a retard and not being able to throw baseball and that's the difference Is that true story? No way. How do you know he didn't do it because of Hiller? Really because of Hiller? Is that part made up? It's a true fucking story, bro. Hundred percent true

True story. Okay. Look if it's not true, come out and tell me it's not true, Matt Hey, Tyler Watkins, who is Colton the best guy ever in the crossface space at thrust risk is he better than Fraser? I Don't like your preposition that Fraser was the best but okay. Who is the best front? You think Froning was the best Froning was the best. I would say yeah Matt Souza Yeah, Colton's way better than Matt Fraser Mr. Caleb Beaver is is Colton the man? Absolutely way better than Matt Frazier. Mr. Caleb Beaver is Colton the man? Absolutely.

Infinitely better than Matt Frazier. And finally, you missed yourself. Colton is the fittest man in CrossFit because any other guy in the sport that's fitter isn't really a man. They're just pussies. And then I would say I'm the baddest motherfucker in CrossFit. Colton, you can't have that title just yet, bro, but yeah, he's cool. He's pretty cool I like colton

It's crazy. Hey Pedro. You really did make a good point Uh, it's great to see James ray coming out and saying hey do the open and now just to recognize that people like taylor and colton are putting it on the fucking line everywhere and anywhere and uh, And you know other people might say they're being stupid because they're not they're not charging for it or they're not, you know, bending sponsors over. But this is the only way it's going to grow by people. Also, they know what they've been given and they want to give back instead of getting something and then wanting more and then wanting to be paid for more.

And then like just what's in it for me? What's in it for me? What's in it for me? It's how can I give something back? How can I grow it? Mm hmm. Pull up Jeremy. That's shit on Targley fitness. And don't dangle that shit in front of me.

Look at there. We're actually go 60 minute Mark and you can kick this fucking collar off the backend. Go back and watch 16.5 and tell me Froning didn't throw that workout. Yeah. back and watch 16.5 and tell me Froning didn't throw that workout. Yeah, I will go to the grave knowing that he threw that workout. Oh yeah, how do you know? Watch it dude. It's fucking obvious he threw that. Trust me bro. It's totally visibly obvious. The clock has a great point, but what have the affiliates done for Colton? Oh, I've done a lot. We hosted the queue. We hosted Colton with the queue. They lowered a pull-up bar for him.

Oh, shit, I did that. That was fucking hand done by me and Andy. That was crazy. It did actually. It still has the bar in our gym. Yeah, when we have a class, they all have to use that bar. You know, the Jews got this thing called Passover and they leave an empty table for an empty seat at Passover for Elijah. Every affiliate on earth should have a bar lower than it should be the Colton bar. Holy shit, that's a brilliant idea. I just want

you fucking assholes to know that I told you we're done taking people as callers. It's now one hour and one minute and five seconds into the show and you're not fucking listening so whatever results from this it's your fucking fault okay guys next week 1500 ball we do not we do not have a sponsor next week but it will be 1500 bucks even if we have to take it out of Pedro's ass we're not bringing in a Zack Scott down there I've actually only got $450 in there. So there is someone down there.

Oh, they've been waiting the whole time. Oh, this guy's called in before, right? Every week, these guys, the brothers, what's up? Oh, just them gay dude. Oh, this is not my brother. This is not, isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it the same gym? Yeah. I didn't know. I'm the eldest. You're

married aren't you? Yes, sir. You're in a different nutrition plan than your brothers. You can tell. Do you drive a Oh, there's the whole thing. Do you drive a Lariat edition F 350? No, I don't. Hey, oh. Oh, man. Y'all ready? We're **** ready. Let's do that.

Beautiful. Wow. They're like, they're like, hey, can you mute their time to kind of feedback is really fucking alone Yeah, let me cut them down let them count down first and I'll meet them the brothers doing it the big Yes, sir Are you fucking kidding? Next week we're gonna be sponsored actually by known and knowable. I think, uh... Oh my god. Yeah.

Wow. Holy shit, this dude's moving. And he doesn't got ten, dude. He does not have ten. That guy's known and knowable. Look at this guy's handstand push-ups. Oh shit. This guy's strength of body weight ratio is fucked up.

Holy crappy. Yeah, he's three foot tall. He's so 20, he gets to the box. Taylor was really quiet when he started, meaning he thought he was going to win. There's no way that Taylor thought this guy was going to win. And I'm interested. He's going to fail either rep nine or 10. It looks like a mall cop.

Oh, shit. Oh, shit. He's got it's gross. He knows white relative Oh Yano Texaco right here Zach come on grabbing that pole like he's about to die Pull that shirt back down the- the- the- the- the- the the- the- the- the- the- the-

the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the? Where's the Ferb brother? Is the Ferb brother there? He's working out with somebody else. I don't know where he is. I really like to see all three of you together sometime on the show.

We're trying. We just can't ever line it up. We're gonna try it up. All right, Zach, thank you. Keep it up. Good job, dude. You guys are awesome. Thank you.

I can't wait to meet this guy. Yes? That guy looks like the gym teacher gets a volleyball player pregnant. Oh my God. Oh no. That happened at my school. Holy fuck. I do love them, but goddamn that was when his shirt came up and he was like, uh oh, I better hide that.

Okay, okay, Zach. I've been fat too. Meat and fruit, buddy. That guy's 10 pounds away from beating your score. All right, everyone. Love you guys. 1500 bucks next week. Don't forget to go over to the Glinton podcast. Subscribe. Please go subscribe. Yes. Kenneth Dallap got it. Thank you, Glinton things. Thank you, Garrett and Colleen. You guys are great. Next can subscribe if you're watching the show back later too. Not just live. So continue to subscribe. And we'll see you guys soon. Talk to you guys. If no other time at 7am tomorrow morning on the 7 On Podcast.

Talk to you guys later. Oh my God. Jesus Christ.