The Sevan Podcast - KT Ep. 15 | The $500 is basically YOURS!!

Episode Date: August 4, 2024

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Taylor wants to start as soon as possible. Alright, alright, alright. How come you can't answer your question like a smartass? Our first victim is John Taylor. Oh, good. Now he's going to be the last of me. I'm going to get that. What it? Which stars?

Go. I'm sorry, I didn't know. No, you didn't. What's this? What's blind? I'm going to take didn't know. No, it didn't. I didn't know. What's this? It's blinds. I can't even. Let's go. It's a constant, smooth exercise. That's what it is.

Ladies and gentlemen, the great hope for whatever state he's from. Shelby Neal with Andrew Hiller. He looks just like Ricky Garra this morning. Right below Matthew Souza. Executive producer of the 7 Pod. He's been processing Livermore. Father watched walked in $10,000 plus more like probably another $5,000 now been added to the pile. courtesy of proven and other great companies that are working with

the heat one app download the heat one app now we will be doing lots of shows showing you how to play the heat one app. It's so easy makes watching the crossing games fun and easy money when Pedro white. Is that your last name? Yeah. That's horrible dude. Still wrong first name. You should switch it to Matosian. Pedro White from Coffee Pods and Wads, father of two, has the most penetrating questions of any pod of any podcast in the CrossFit space. And then staring down at the ground in front of you, the great, great Taylor Self.

In just a minute and a half, after we watch a bunch of armless and legless people work out for a second, Taylor Self will do something. You will try to bid it, bid it, beat it, beat it, and win $500. Thank you, Wheelwad! You're the best! Love the team over there, Wheelwad. You're the best.

Love the team over there. Wheelwad, September 19th to the 22nd, going to be an amazing event, complete family event. Make sure you're there at San Antonio, Texas. In the heart of every individual lies the drive to overcome, the need to break through barriers, to challenge oneself, to find that spark that lights the path to greatness. Okay, okay. As an adaptive athlete,

this path is often strewn with unique challenges, but at Wheel One, we see not obstacles, but opportunities. We are dedicated to making all forms of fitness accessible to everyone. It's about breaking barriers, testing limits and constantly evolving. With every move, every rep, every drop of sweat, adapt to athletes' proof that fitness is for all. An inspiring testament to their resolve and resilience.

Join us on this journey. Show up for the athletes who defy the odds. resolve and resilience. Join us on this journey. Show up for the athletes who defy the odds. For they represent the triumph of spirit, strength, and sheer willpower. Together, let's champion the future of adaptive fitness. We award empowering athletes to inspire and conquer. September 19th to the 22nd, San Antonio.

I'll be getting a bunch of the athletes on the show. Hopefully after the CrossFit Games, some great people, some people who've been on the show a lot like Tater Tot will be competing this year defending this title. Hopefully we get Casey Acreon, love that dude. He also competed in Kill Taylor. The workout is 40 calories on the bike erg.

That's the concept to bike. 20 sandbag to shoulder with 150, 150. 40 cows on the ski erg and then 20 sandbag to the shoulder. Oh, this is easy. This is gonna be easy. What about the women? What's the women's calories? Who cares?

40, 40 as it right there, Shelby. That's gotta be sexist. Who gives a flying fuck? Look, your bag weighs 100 pounds. What's the scale for the women? It's not an obstacle, it's an opportunity. Come on. Yeah.

Yeah. It's funny. Send the letter to our HR department, shall we? Yeah. In other words, she's supposed to be a friend of the show. What are you doing? We'll be in file 13. Bryson, we are ready when you are the great Taylor self.

There's no other athlete in the world like him. This is the fucking man. man respect everyone take a fucking knee say the pledge of the legions hold your cock in your hands if you have one Bryson we're gonna do a 10 second countdown Caleb you ready 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 one go hey Bryson start at 30 next time Jesus Christ Taylor asked for a ten second Taylor asked specifically for ten seconds you know the Bryson has the exercise or cock pump ready at all times. He can replace and if Taylor passes out, he can resuscitate his mouth. Tyson wears it for it. He keeps it in his pants ready to go. It's not pumped or anything.

The silver bands in our can. Shelby, what do you, what do you think for time on this? Uh, quick workout. I know we don't have it up on the board. Yeah, I gotta forget it but yeah pretty quick anyone have any guesstimates on time Tyler you're the time guy I keep time I'm gonna say 420 oh that's what I was gonna say Wow you're not even in California Tyler's 22 set the 20. Yeah, let me go over to the uh, 80 cows on that now you can do like 20 cows a minute ish

So that's going to be two minutes four minutes, yeah, so we're already at like six minutes Uh 40 cows like a biker likes 420 and then 20 sandbags to shoulder with 100 for the ladies 150 for the boys and then The floor there used to play penis pump in there Yeah Splooge he had a hit a penis pump failure. He sneezed on his coke or success The guesses are coming in Jeremy world 529

Wyatt beay 622. Who's the sponsor this week? Wheelwad? Yes, I thought you'd never ask. Wheelwad is the sponsor. He's up like at 144. 144. Tyler, keep time, covers time. What do you think Shelby, is that good?

How we should move in that bag? I guess, I don't know what the standards are. Oh, you can get your lower to reset your ski. Yeah this is the standard, no standards. Standards that every tailor wants. Looks pretty good. What didn't you like about it Shelby? I didn't know you could do this. Just touching one little section of the bag but I guess it's fine. You have to be strong. Would you say, how would you do it? I don't know. I just thought you had to touch the whole bag.

Oh, I see. Slower. Shelby, you come from a trashy part of America. What state are you from? North Carolina. Like I said, isn't that garage clean for a North Carolina garage? It seems a little cleaner than I expected for North Carolina. This garage?

233. Oh, we're at the affiliate right now. Oh, that's his. This garage. Ooh, 33. Good pack. Oh, we're at the affiliate right now. Oh, that's his affiliate. Oh no, no, no. I mean, where Taylor's at. Taylor, that's Taylor's new affiliate right there. Yeah, that's Taylor's affiliate.

CrossFit Charlotte had to downsize. Yeah, it's sick, right? After the affiliate fee increase. It's just CrossFit Chirono. They've lost the law. Yeah, they're actually squatting. The people that live there don't even know they're there yet.

40 cows on the SkiErg. He did the 40 cows on the Biker in 144. Then he did the 20th handbag, the shoulder overhead at 233. Let's see where he comes off here. I'm thinking like 340 or something like that. I am ready to give the link to anyone who wants to try.

Don't be shy. Sorry for 430. A rumor has it. John Young is already done. You know what John Young is? I know of him. She knows John Young. That's a no.

No, she knows him. The nice way I say no. He was trash talking me on the. I was Gary say, has he talked shit about you? What did he say? Like you showed me what you say about John Jones and no shit talker. Yeah, no shit talker. That's what his shirts and say.

Just be known shit talker. Oh, shit talker. No drug user. Oh, wow. That'sown drug user. Oh wow. That's me. Yeah. Wow. Wow.

Known drug user. Has a big TV. Sean has a huge TV. Hey, wouldn't this be crazy? Wouldn't this be crazy if Tanner showed up? Took that money this week. Oh, that would be amazing. He'd only do the soundbite.

He'd only do the soundbite. He wouldn't use any of the machines. He'd stay away from the machines. He would. That's his cardio block. He would just have. He wouldn't use any of the machines. He'd stay away from the machines. He would. That's his cardio block. He would just have to wait 30 minutes before he did the machines. That's the difference.

He got, he got the mRNA so he doesn't have to do cardio. He's inoculated from cardio. How fast is Taylor going? Can we see that screen at all? Why does it seem like he's going way too slow? It seems like he's going really slow. It's embarrassingly slow. Why did he chalk the skier floor? Good job. Thank you, Bryson. That was super helpful. Oh, 442. 442. With the chalk. Oh, quick chalk necessary. Final 20 sandbags. He could have just like laid out on the ground.

It was top drop and roll. Three. Okay, here we go. Yeah, this is pretty quick. Wow. Six. Took him like 55 seconds last time. Who guessed 519? Eight.

Nine. Might be close. Ten. Eleven. Twelve. The thing about these workouts too is Taylor makes them look way too easy. You think it's easy because of the pace he's going and then you start to try and you're like, holy shit, this is not that easy.

1617. We think Shelby is that look good? You impressed. It is pretty impressive. Honestly, he could barely lift that bag before the exercise there. I'll tell you that right now. He started using that penis pump and now look at him. And the born primitive t-shirt making them look like a real American.

Yeah, definitely restarted. I don't know. It dude. I freaking nailed it. I guess five 30 wheelwad is for 20 $500 they are running the adaptive CrossFit Games this year You have to be there. It's in September. It's in San Antonio. You can get your tickets at wheel wad games calm It's gonna be an amazing time. They always put on great events tons of people great family event

And if you don't go we will judge you good job Taylor no don't tell him you did a good job you would be going over there right and what you doing over there why is he over there unmute yourself please checking his laundry last fun he's just trying to cut his breath in front of a tiny little fan. America's favorite fan. We need them as a sponsor one week. Anybody want the 500 bucks? The window's small. Come get it. We don't have time to fuck around today. This would be a good one. Yeah, this is a good one.

Easy money. What's good about it? It's good to beat Taylor around. That's the only way it's good. I just like the workout itself. It's doable. It is doable. If you're a big dude, like big dudes, I think would go for it, but they're going to get hurt on the with your promise. Okay. And then I'll grab my laptop. I'm going to domestic bonus footage. His wife. Make that sandwich. God damn it.

Okay. So how long before Colton calls in? Do you guys think we get to get a better idea? He's on there. What do you what? How do you know that? What are you stocking them? Yeah. We know I've got to one of those Apple travel tag things in his pocket that he

doesn't know about got it. Yep. Little air tag Taylor and his wife are still in the having sex phase of their relationship, so he's in good spirits. There'll be six more months of that before we have to deal with that for the next 50 years. Oh, look, a Subaru. He's going to go out from lower. Don't you drive a Subaru?

Yeah. She's Taylor is on the sun. That's cool. Oh, I think it's like a North Carolina like mandatory thing. Taylor, what Taylor wanted me to tell you, he's about to join on his phone so he can start driving. Start driving. It doesn't have to do the show remote. Taylor wanted me to tell you he's about to join on his phone so he can start driving Doesn't have to do the show remote he's got to go pick up his birthday present got his dedication to the show's amazing That's awesome

Yes to pick it up at a certain time it's in 17 days It's an ask you can't wait 45 minutes till the show's over it's like a fucking dog It's a dog. That's why you have to get rid of Lizzy He's like you need to go now because she's on the clock in 15 minutes Shelby wants to know why he's breathing so heavy still. We want to know when Shelby's going to warm up for this. Yeah, no shit talking. That's what we want to know.

That's the workout. Shelby's doing that thing. This games athletes do. Yeah, no, no, no. Sheldon, you will be competing at the CrossFit Games in the lane right next to Tia Toomey all week Yes at Dickie. Yes Taylor said will be on in one minute 928 583 3903 just find a sandbag and a couple machines. Well, we'll run

When you do it, I don't think so Can you move a sandbag I don't think you'd be Taylor All participants will get a free case of fit aid or you can get a case now for 40% off Use the QR code in the upper right hand corner of the screen. Oh look even have it over there in Europe It's delicious. Oh Wow, you got your case on Pedro Thank you. Thank you Pedro. That's the only case he's going to get for three years. See how slow he sips it. Like all the Americans chug it back. I drank it like Obama. I opened this on Tuesday.

He drinks it like Obama drinking Flint water. The Flint, Michigan water. I mean, I just think that's hilarious. Just touch it to your lips. Mm. Hey, whose garage is this? I drink it like a rain athlete drinks rain. Oh, you're actually maybe not at all. I never open the can.

I just move it around. Leave it to the background. Just collect the checks. Yeah. Oh, shit. My fueled by rain picture. You're out of your mind if you think Celsius is better than. Fidde, not even close. That's not even it's not the same thing. When's the recovery?

Ever had one's an energy drink. One's a degree of heat. Yeah, I feel like I get worse. I get warmer when I drink a Celsius. I get more dehydrated. You kind of want to pay me to say different. In which case we love it. Yeah.

On five. Uh, Taylor, what's up, dude? You recovered quick. You're muted. Here's that my target. Yeah, there we go. Oh, how was it? Um, I wasn't sure how that was was gonna go, but I think it went okay

The the boys were a little concerned about the skier Well Yeah, I don't know I did 20 sandbags pretty fast at the end Yeah, they did say that they said you were crushing the sandbag did the skier were you pacing on the skier or I was I? I knew that If I did not go the sandbag. Did the ski erg, were you pacing on the ski erg? I knew that if I did not go, or I knew that if I went, or at least I felt like if I went faster on the ski erg that I was going to be a bit more blown up to finish on the sandbag. I felt like one break on the sandbag, that's definitely 10 seconds. So that's the difference in a faster pace on the ski erg. You know what I mean? the Pay your friend to look at Taylor Taylor. How many calories are the chicks supposed to do?

Am I there? Can you guys hear me? You hear us I can hear you guys Dedication to the show. It's really dude. Stop. Let me call back in. Yeah. Yeah, then you go call back in So I am the sad bad gun broken full times and like yeah, how can I have a different number of calories for the chicks okay well what would it be what should it be you tell us you tell us it's like 30 probably load up that sandbag oh wait was there sandbags already oh oh you're saying they can't make up time on the sandbags it's impossible the workout would be like eight i think it's supposed to be that way is that what's wrong with it being impossible for women to win? That would be well Here's the deal Yeah, a sandbag weight for men at 150 and a weight that should be for women is like 120

But I'm gonna get the same complaints that I do with the 80 pound sandbag is well We can't we don't have that sandbag so hey you move the phone closer to your face when you're talking about these Peter face when you're talking. Peter, fuck your ass so hard Peter to get the house rules please. We're gonna reenact the Olympics opening ceremony on the fucking kitchen counter. Pumps in the house but no ass

fucking. Oh my goodness. Do we do we want to make any wiggle room on the calories for the girls what do you think's fair Shelby probably 30 oh stop 39 calories 39 39 calories Five I'll give you 35 if you want to 32 take it now shut the fuck up Tyler. I said 35 35 Yeah, dude. What were you pulling on this gear? What were you biking at? I was biking at 2,000 cows per hour and I was pulling probably 1800 cheese I was biking at 2,000 kph and I was pulling probably 1800. Jeez. Yeah, it didn't look like it. I think 30.

Just kidding. I was not doing either of those. I was like, 8,800. Holy shit, dude. Ain't no fucking way, though. So you want to do 35 on the bike and 35 on the ski for anything with the vagina? Yeah, but it's got to be a real vagina, though. 35 on the bike and 35 on the ski for anything with a vagina. Yeah, but it's gotta be a real vagina though, not like the Algerian vagina. Okay, from a real vagina.

You know what I mean? Yeah, I do know what you mean. I don't know what you mean. How many have pictures? How many? How many needs a visual? I think he's talking about the... If you get punched in the face by a dude thing.

The monster? I thought she was actually a woman. She actually is. That's the message. It actually wasn't a... Dude, according to who? Her childhood photographs. Like all historic animals that she has. Hey, that was misreported. That is actually a girl.

That is actually a girl. I can't remember the name of the syndrome. She has some syndrome that produces extra testosterone. I can't remember the name of it. And it's not a penis. Male syndrome? Yeah, it's the same syndrome. People are comparing it to like Phelps can't produce lactic acid

or something and that gave him an advantage and she produces extra testosterone and that gave her an advantage But biologically she's a female the articles I read like three or four articles on it and they said they've never done a Testosterone test on her the test they did on her was a chromosome test But but they won't tell us what the results are either Worlds because that's why she was banned. That's why she lost her man. No, she was banned because of the chromosome test I saw She was banned. That's why she lost her man. No, she was banned because of the chromosome test I saw.

I saw the test. Maybe she'll call it. Mitch looks like she's looks like she's fucking Squidward. She doesn't look like a male or female. She looks like that character from SpongeBob. That's the way I look without a beard. Oh my goodness. It says that the test, they won't tell us the test they gave her.

I'm looking statement made by the International Boxing Association. It says They disqualified her and Lynn you From the women's competition because they failed to meet eligibility Criteria for participating women's competition the decision was made after a meticulous review Was extremely important and necessary to uphold a level of fairness, utmost integrity of the competition. That doesn't say shit. The test performed during the there were two tests performed 2022 and 2023. But they but they won't tell us what the test is. They tested her twice. All they said is inconsistent with the application of eligibility. Well,

look, if she didn't pass worlds, I don't know. Something's fishy immediately. Just look at your penis. Yeah. Well, I have a penis. Hey, because you guys wouldn't give Shelby 30 calories. She's going to go do a real workout. She said,

I will. Yeah, we'll give her 30 calories. I'm so excited to see you across the games. It's a complete honor to have you on the show. You're fucking amazing. I'm your biggest fan. Don't let anyone else tell you different not your mom your dad your boyfriend nothing Andrew Hiller bring yeah moon shine. This isn't actually moonshine. This is hooch

This is what they make in jail you mix up and shit. It's feces water Yeah, this is actually what they drink and this is what that Algerian girl is drinking. That's why she looks the way she looks. Yeah Why do you refuse oh, so you do think it's a girl now we've convinced you no It's a fucking dude. Look at it one plus one equals two seven fuck off. I'm out of here with that, bro Just cuz she's ugly doesn't make her a dude. It's not ugly her bone structure. Her arms are longer than andy's she could be a fucking linebacker for the dolphins I think she's going to anything d1 ball players. They all are built like that. I don't think she's ugly Okay, sebon, that's the fucking biggest lie you've ever told It has beautiful skin.

Okay. Sorry Buffalo Bill. Six beers later. Six beers later. Wow, no collars? What the fuck? Does anyone want the 500 bucks? Because I got to pack. Dude, I would do it, but my bike is here.

You got to pack now? My skier is at home. So, you know. Oh, say that again, Sousa? I said I'd do, but my bike is here my skiers at the gym So or else you do it. Yeah, Johnny. I'm borrowed on Mike. Well, let you do this. Well, hey, hey, Susan Well, I guess we'll let you fucking Bike at home then you can pause your timer than back

Then you can do your skier and hit play when you start it's still lose with five minutes rest between Hey, Johnny, she has a period oh shit that's strong taylor damn no he means like a full stop at the end of her name hey the cross the games athletes don't have periods i don't believe that for a second but that's really that's because the vaccine we only get one one entry in this what is that taylor can i do it with my no keto plate or a 20 pound plate instead of a sandbag? You can do it with a you can do it with a 20 pound sandbag. I don't have it.

I only have one. Look at your text. I have a wall bowl. 70 kilos. What's that? I love my I love my uplift wad shirt and I don't normally wear any other shirts besides my own shirts. Thank you for the shirt Yeah, to our next week. Oh they are. Yep

Yeah, listen There this is breaking news I just got a text that out the Algerian boxers will be boxing at wheel wad in San Antonio That Califi thing will be boxing Antonio. Lin and that Khalifi thing will be boxing. That Khalifi thing. Why is it lower extremity, extra limb? Look, I just got it. Wow. 19 through the 22nd in San Antonio. That event will be free. They're matching CrossFit's event. And the two boxers, Lin and Algeria, will be free. They're matching CrossFit's event and the two boxers, Lin and Algeria, will be boxing. Congratulations to Kevin Ogar for pulling that off. That's amazing. Who did he pull off?

It's a long list. Kevin Ogar, Shelby, Neil, and Taylor could all be relatives. Wow. Is everybody scared of this workout? Fuck it. 30 cows for win. Here we go. Here we go. Okay. Got somebody. Uplift. Yeah. There he is. Oh, that's a big no chance at all. Is he white? Is he has red hair? Can y'all see? Yeah. Big Dan. He's about because he has red hair. Can y'all see? Yeah. He's about 150 pounds. What's your name, caller? Look at his back, dude.

Sam True. Sam. Sam. I already like you. Come on, Sam. What's yours, Ragnar? He's just turning my face. Sam, how much do you weigh?

How much do you weigh? So far. Sam 10,000. Oh Oh wow, I thought he was skinny. Sam 10,000 He legit looks related to Taylor. Is Taylor's long-awaited brother? It's gay crouch. It's gay crouch. Gay crouch.

Why did you give him four comments? Kenit's the last comment, it's gay crouch. Gay crouch. We'll go easy on you because we know the uplift people are just moments away from jumping off a bridge. We'll go easy Oh my god! What the fuck! That one was crazy! Oh my god! Hey, can you get closer to the camera? Please take one step closer to the camera. I'm gonna have to go back one step.

Hey, is that your dick? Is that your dick? Are y'all ready? We're ready, baby! Ready to pump it up! Whenever they're ready. We're ready baby. Yeah ready to Tell him to tuck that fucking eggplant before he starts this workout 3 2 1 and set it from 10. All right, Caleb Bieber on the back end. You ready buddy Caleb ready? Shit starting on a bike What's the time to be? You can sit on 31. Wow, look at my 31 You want to get off the bike at 144?

He could start on the bike. Oh Yeah, he can't start well he can be sitting on the bike when he starts. Yeah, they'll get it going once you're like we're ready Yeah, look at those. Oh wow. He're ready. Yeah, Is that too tall? That's too tall. Three, two, one, go. What'd you say, he weighed 205? Yeah, he's gotta be tall. He's gotta be like 6'1", if he weighs 205.

Man, that's a big dude. Yeah, I wonder how they keep those walls that white. You know they're not letting anybody do handstand pushups with wallpals. There's like plastic wrap or something on the top half. Yeah. What's his name? Sam.

Sam Prew? Sam Prew? Yeah. I'm going to mute him because of the music, okay? Okay, nice. All right, Sam Pru, the workout, let me tell you what the workout is, if I can find it. The workout is 40 cows on the bike erg, 20 sandbag to shoulder, 150 pounds, 40 cows on the ski erg, and then 20 sandbag to shoulder. The weight of the sandbag is 150 pounds.

This guy's representing uplift Sam True. Taylor got off the bike at 144. Taylor, you recovered quickly from the workout. I don't know if I'd say quickly. That stung a little bit. I was expecting to have to break the second sandbag up and after I did the first set I knew I could do the second set I'm broken. I think that maybe Caused me to pace the skier a little more than I had planned on doing He looks confident did you take any caffeine or treatin or anything before the workout I drank like a scoop and a half of The only pre-workout I take for the most part is called the SFH push. It's stronger faster healthier So I took like a scoop and a half of the only pre-workout I take for the most part is called SFH push

it's stronger faster healthier so I took like a scoop and a half of that what's the recommended dose a scoop yeah one scoop but it's not it doesn't it doesn't have a lot of caffeine it's got like a hundred milligrams of caffeine it's like a low caffeine pre-workout Taylor got off the pre-workout and has healthier written on it. Oh shit! Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Wow. It's weird that he does it on one side, not on the other. I know, right? Yeah. Is that eight? Yeah. Hey, when did I get back on the skier? Two thirty three. Ten. He's halfway through.

Oh, oh. Oh, he's slowing down quite a bit. Oh no. Maybe we're just getting over him. Three, four, five. He's going from white to red. It was only a five second break, not ten Taylor, you piece of shit. Yeah, but look at that.

That bag's brutal, huh? He's double of his shit. Taylor made that look way too easy. That's what I was saying. You watch him work out and you think like, oh, this isn't going to be that bad. He's moving super slow. Then you start working out and you're like, what the fuck? I remember he used Lizzie's bike. So I shut the fuck up. Oh, this is so heavy. I bet you have Sam did a 30 day trial of the exerciser, he would do this workout.

He crushed this workout. Hey, he actually signed up for it. If he did two out of 14 days of santanum, he'd get the same effect. He signed up. Hey, he's oh, wow. He signed up for a trial by program. This guy did. Yeah.

So that was a call. Oh, wait, hold on. I'm lying piece of shit. Sammy, that bag's brutal, huh? He dead. Damn. That bag's brutal. The bag's brutal. No, no excuses.

It's like a hundred degrees in here. We worked out early this morning. No excuses. no excuses. It's like 100 degrees in here. We worked out early this morning. No excuses. No excuses. No excuses. Then three excuses. Legs didn't have 20 touch and go for two sets. Hey, you got off the bike eight seconds faster

than our very own Taylor Self. And you look smooth on the bike. You didn't even look like you were going crazy. Yeah, it was just going to come down to if I can hold on to the same bag, but Sorry, I mean did you go to do it? I might redo it later this week just for bragging right? Hey Sam I can hold on Sam. What's that mark on your trap is that guys your camera guy? Did he give you a hickey? Yeah? My buddy left me a hickey on my trap. Okay, what's that, friends? His butthole is sucking on your trap.

It does look like a butthole stain. Sam, how'd you do in quarterfinals? Finished 63rd in the West, so not great. All right. Hey, dude, we really appreciate you. Thank you. Thank you, everyone at Uplift for joining. You made the show, dude, and we'll see you maybe next week. Yeah, dude, we really appreciate you. Thank you. Thank you, everyone at Uplift for joining. You made the show, dude.

And we'll see you maybe next week. Yeah, thanks, man. I would say, Sam, send me your address. And I'll get you a case of FIT-AID. Hey, I would say 63rd is pretty great, dude. I appreciate it, man. I guess I'll have to start following Sentinel. And maybe I'll make it to the Cine's next year.

You will. Money back guarantee. Where are you at? Missouri? It's so cute watching Taylor flirt. I'll give you your 20 bucks back if you don't make it, and follow Sentinel every day until then. Deal.

All right, brother. Have a good one. Hey, you too. Thank you. Cheers. Bye. Sam True from Uplift. All right, we got one.

Show's over. Oh, shut up. No one else? Seriously? What is this? 40 people call- no, hold on. 40 people fucking call in for a swimming workout and you fuckers don't call in at all for the easiest workout yet? Uh, specialist, we're calling in. Specialist, $3,000. Hey, so what's the's the how are you gonna do next week from no no idea, dude? That's your job to figure out. I don't do that. I just on the show and talk shit about Suicide prevention. Oh my god. I think we're gonna do it. I think I'm gonna I think I'm gonna streak Farrington field Friday night We're actually gonna do it on the field. I'm gonna do it naked and

Whoever can cross the field without getting caught wins the money. Dude, let's do that. No one's catching me. No one on the game's team is making sure. Make sure when you post us that you tag CrossFit on us, Taylor. Hey, I got my posting privileges back, bro. Hey, do you get your media pass taken away if you do that? I don't have a media pass. So he's safe. I'm uncancelable now. I can just, hey, do you think that they have a member on their team I bet Lucas the beta could catch me but do you think he would want to catch me naked no yes yeah that's what I'm saying Lucas would die straight for your car he's a good dude shut the fuck up most gay guys are good dudes okay want to witness the best in adaptive

fitness come to the adaptive crossFit Games by real wad this September in San Antonio Most gay guys are good dudes. Okay. Want to witness the best in adaptive fitness? Come to the adaptive CrossFit Games by Wheel Wad. This September in San Antonio, September 19th to the 22nd. Tater Tot, our very own Tater Tot, will be competing there defending his Fittest Man in the World title. I believe Casey Acree will be there. I believe Kim will be there. The blind athlete we had on the show. There's a great cast of characters who will be competing.

And of course, the nemesis of the podcast, our favorite man to hate, Timmy Swoosh. Is that his name? Timmy Swoosh? Mikey Swoosh. Whoa, dude, yeah, don't get it mixed up. Come on. Mikey Swoosh will be there.

Come on. And it's gonna be fun. It's gonna be fun. They got a great cast of characters. The venue is beautiful. The location, for those of you who don't know San Antonio is the home where they send all of the US military that had parts blown off and so it's kind of the home of just the adapt dudes who were turned adaptive after their Service so it's a it's a great locale the audience will be buzzing it's gonna be a great one

oh we have another contestant nice oh shit let's go uh taylor's like a kid leaving a school to go to a doctor's appointment and to get mcdonald's oh i like that that's good mcdonald's that school that's a good you're alive alive, baby. Bro, already? Yes, sir. Already. There he is. Can we get that phone sideways? Nice, Jim. What gym is that? Hey, the Krypton. Wow. Krypton, be calling. Oh, wow. Wow. Where's Benjamin?

Where's Benjamin? Are you 18? We have an 18 year old girl for this show. What is Ben doing? What is Ben doing? He turned 18. Yeah, we want to see daddy. We don't old rule for this show. What is Ben doing? What is Ben doing? He just turned 18. Yeah, we want to see daddy. We don't want to see this guy. Well, that guy Taylor really falling off.

No. Oh, wow. Hey, are you doing the workout? Am I doing the workout? No, no, not today. You look like you got a high party to go get Hayes down. Oh, his butthole's too sore. His butthole's too sore to do the workout today.

What's that guy's name? He's doing the workout samuel. It's no no no it's him nick andre nick andre Gay porn name if I've ever heard one That bag is fucking heavy, dude. Yeah, I'm going to show them how to really do it, bro. Oh. Hey, I don't want you to show me how to do gay butt sex, dude. You don't need to show me that.

What is this, Malibu's most wanted? Jesus Christ. Hey, show us, is Ben Smith in the middle of his four hour warm up routine? Yeah, that's it. Is he visualizing? Can we see Ben Smith, the CrossFit Games champ? There he is. Look at that, a guest appearance by Ben Smith. What a ghost.

He had to highlight real today, bro. Oh, wow. Hey, rotate your phone sideways for us. Hey, Nick, I think that's cultural appropriation, dude. You can actually not talk like that. We're going to put you in jail with Tanner. Thank you. All right, guys.

Go grab a... The time to meet is 5.31. You can't have any... I'll mute. If you want music, I'll mute myself here. Yeah, definitely mute yourself. We'll mute you, though. The workout is 40 cows on the biker. He keeps fucking talking about it, never be on mute.

Yeah, I think Nick Andre's gonna mute him with his cock. 40 cows on the biker, 20 sandbag to shoulder, 150 pounds. It's a heavy bag as we saw in the last attempt. 40 cows on the skier, 20 sandbag to shoulder. The time to beat 5.31. All right, I got you. Where's the yep squad? Next time you tell a dick joke, will you just show Liz's face? Nick, how much do you weigh, Nick?

I'll be like 215. No. 215? Where's all that weight? Is it in your inner thighs, dude? Are you like Squidward after he eats the whole fucking Krusty Krab Yes to SpongeBob references in a day There's no way that you to 15 that's crazy he's what he's got to be 6 1

He's fucked on the sandbag if he's that tall yeah, see beaver you ready All right, I'm gonna mute my you myself here. We'll meet you Damn it If you're a ginger call in I guess that's an entry to the show this week Slightly ginger that guy's he's got a lot of things wrong with him, but being ginger isn't one of them yeah Jim in on that hair. He's ginger the only thing whiter than that guy is Pedro's ass the camera man's got something else his arms are redder than the bottom of my nutsack that's for sure I've got this area of my taint that's like a here we

go it's like a pinkish it's like a pinkish skin color that's uh that's what his arms look like dude hey your arms look like my taint he can start on the bike he can start on the bike yell that taylor i don't think he could hear you hey dick andre you look like my grundle nick andre from crossfit krypton going for the 500. He can use that money to go to the San Antonio CrossFit Games Adaptive Divisions. September 19th to the 22nd San Antonio, Texas. I think he's actually competing there, the neuro division. Oh, great. It looks like we got some sort of countdown. Six, five, he can get on the bike.

He can get on the bike, countdown. Six, five, four, three, two, one. Go. We're off. Caleb Eber started the clock just on time. You guys got this is a great city in Chesapeake. 2G, 2G. Ben Smith is Internet. It's not even they got like a well. Redo redo. Back down. Back down.

I got a good time. Give it a second. It's not even they got like AOL redo redo back down back down. Premature Dick Gondre. Bringing another athlete while you're at it. They told Camille tough luck. Tough luck. Clock's around. Sub Ben and sub Ben in. Here we go. It's not a rolling start what's happening what it yeah none of

the bikes work at that was just a test he was checking that it wasn't a virus that all the bikes had I think yeah the internet virus. What's happening Taylor back on the clock. Countdown begins. Six, five, four, three, two, one. Hey, you know what this guy looks like? You know what he looks just like? He looks like Evelyn Curry's husband. Oh my god.

Who? Nobody. Nobody. Wow. Sorry. Wait. No, no, no. I'm talking about the basketball player, Steph Curry. Yeah. Give me a second. Yeah, you're right. Sorry, I misunderstood you.

He's gonna mind-pucker up. Hey, you know who that looks like? It looks like ****. You know who he really does look like though? He looks like he could be related to Adam Neifer or he looks like the guy who used to own, um, again, faster. I forget that guy's name. All right.

P I think we should, gay best friend on his stomach. Oh, I liked it. Is the guy who owned again, faster did no, no, no, no, no, no. I meant the company pattern with the company. No, no, no, no. I'm at the company. I'm at the company. I was like, Jesus Christ, he does look like a juiced up version of Anthony Michael Hall. You're right. Anthony Michael Hall from like 16. Is that show? Was it candles or cheese breakfast club or something like that? Oh, you see that shot? You see that shot bucket? Yep.

You put your own. Oh, you see that chalk? You see that chalk bucket? Yep. You put your just pulled the Roman. He pulled the Roman. Wait, wait, wait. Really? He's not one seconds faster than you, Taylor. That's it. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Oh, these are looking scared. That's coming down. Three. I'm liking matter. Oh, these are looking sketch. That's coming down. Three. I'm liking this. This is good.

Four. Hey. See, he's got no even. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey.

Nine. 10. Time to beat his 233. OK. We figured it out. How far did our last quitter get? 12. He got to 11. He was already gone. Right about here. Oh, there it is. the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the-

the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- He's gonna start double clutching it. He's gonna start double clutching it. I'm gonna have like a 20. That didn't count. Second lead here. Come on. Hey.

Taylor didn't get off these until 233. This guy's still in it to win it. He's solid. No, he's not. He is dead. His life is flooding behind his eyes. This is how you're supposed to do it. This is what he wanted to show you.

You're supposed to do it this way, not the way you did it efficiently and quickly. Wow. I think blood's coming out of his asshole. Here goes Taylor's time. 233. He said speed up. Yeah, go ahead, get the skier turned on quickly. Wow. I think blood's coming out of his asshole. Here goes Taylor's time. 233. He said speed up.

Yeah, go ahead, get the skier turned on so we can limit those transitions. Bro, hey bro, that's how it's done, bro. God bless CrossFit. He's only 10 seconds away. Oh boy. 24. Oh boy. He's gonna have to snowmine.

I'm barely moving. Snow shot. The crazy part of this was the last 20 of Taylor's sandbags were just ridiculous. So even if they were on pace, it wouldn't even matter that much until that last set. Taylor come off at 440 on the ski. Tyler, Tyler do what?

I don't know, I fucked that up. Taylor, was that your first workout of the day that we saw you do? Yeah, and then I'm gonna go back and work out. Well, we have a set, yeah, so yes. Taylor, you gotta look great. Don't day that we saw you do? Yeah. And then I'm going to go back and work out. Well, we have a yeah. So, yes, Taylor, you got a lot of money. Joke on that. What, Tyler?

I said you got a little Korean on making fun of me there. No, we're having a seminar at the gym, a level one. So Andy told me to do it there, but I didn't I didn't want to like. Oh, you should have Peter. I'm going to physically abuse you in a couple of days. If they were having a level one there, why wouldn't you do it as like a bonus for the people that I was being genuine? Um, Andy, you just sound like a smart ass.

Andy told me to do it there, but the problem is they don't ever have consistent lunchtime. So he could tell me, hey, we're going to take lunch at noon. And that's when you do the workout. And it could be 1230. And they're still lecturing. You know what I mean? We could have worked with that. That's a bad flow master then, isn't it?

No, it could be one of the other staff members going late on the lecture. Or 40 seconds. 4.2. He's fucked. So fucked. No, it is a bad flow master. You're right, Pedro. members going late on the lecture or the- 440 seconds. 440 seconds. He's fucked. He's so fucked. No, it isn't.

Bad Flow Master, you're right, Pedro. They should step on someone's dick if it's, uh, talk faster, talk slower. Well, it's Maggie Tinscher, so it's not a Bad Flow Master there. Oh, you're always so defensive about your loved ones. I bet he- I'm thinking he's gonna come back here. I'm thinking he's gonna come back right here. He's gonna do what now? He's got to go to the bank, then he's gonna come back to the sandbag and he's gonna come back here Come back right here. He's gonna do what now? He's got to go to the bank then he's gonna come back to the sandbag. He's gonna tell me you're putting Korean in that accent No, I'm putting work. What do you do?

442 Yeah, you're done, dude. Sorry. I want to see if he lost time on the skier. That's ten seconds behind It looks like he lost time. Yeah, he did for sure. Oh, he's that's 10 seconds behind it looks like he lost time yeah he did for sure oh he's gonna be 20 seconds behind for sure still doable this guy's got 25 pounds on me and he can't beat me in a fucking machine sandbag workout there's no way he's gonna need he's gonna need the uplift guys I'm going to be five thirty one. I got two extra quarters this week. Oh come on pussy. Let's go. I'm going to be five thirty

one. He's so fucked. I wonder why no one calls in. Come on dude. Hey, this is a perfect workout for Tanner Cuck. What dude? It's dude dude it's a strength workout bro dude Shout out to Nick for actually going all the way through he knows he's fucked now Yeah, and he's got a slug out these next was that six so 14 reps here Oh, jeez Crypton athlete that's and that's why I and that's why I skied slow cuz the last thing I wanted to do was do singles

On the sandbag there if you honestly Dude, I think singles are harder if you can touch and go it's way easier. Hey Sam say great workout. How would he know? He finished it when he got off air here in John Young hey listen why doesn't a girl try it? We're gonna take we're gonna take take five calories off your bike, five off your skier, 50 pounds, 33% of the fucking sandbag weight. Come on. We'll even cede you 20 seconds. E, 500 bucks. Yeah, we'll cede you 20 seconds. Yeah, she'll do it.

Where's Sarah? She'll do it. Where's Sarah? To get her in here. She'll do it. She's got a shot. Let's go. Come on. You're too close, Nick. Let's go. You mean underage Sarah?

Is that who we're talking about? Whoa, there. Somebody made that comment, bro. Not me. Comment thread, you 17. I mean, we can just go on in the comments where it should be 17 and kick his with her. Everybody got real quiet. Semon kicks her off. Allegedly, allegedly she's 30, okay.

Just to prove how sexist we are, we would not have kicked the boy off for being 17, just so you know. No, we would have made fun of him worse. I would have gone full Halo 3 live chat on a 17. There you go, Nick. Is he still going? I thought he was. You're almost there, Nick. What's happening? Nick straight up was like, this is going to be my piece.

Ben Smith is watching you. Ben Smith is watching you. You shouldn't have donated all that semen to Laura and Gabby. Oh my god. Oh my god, dude Oh wow. Wow. And that comment was so cringe. There it is. 744 Nick. Alright, well... Nah, we don't need that scale, Brandon, we're good. Oh, what a goodie! Hey, hey! He tried! He tried!

He tried! He's a big... He's amazing! He's a big... Aw, dude! ...shirt! What's up, bro? Hey, can you talk to Nick?

Oh, Nicky. Nicky, Nicky. How bad was that? Oh, that's how it's done, huh? Nicky, Nicky, that's how my eyes look when I bust a nut in the mouth. I think Taylor did fuck you in the ass. No! Taylor, my boy with thighs, whooped that ass!

Yeah, that's my boy! He's ginger! Hey dude, I can't! Hey Nick, um... The 150 pounds, it just adds up quick? Dude, yeah. It got really bad the second round. I mean, you all saw me shit the bed right off the bike.

When you do the first five with that 150 pounds, does it feel good? And then all of a sudden when it's over, it's just over? Yeah, about 13. Rep 13, you're like, oh shit, it got real. Yeah. And then it's easy. You're a beast.

Are you really 215? Yeah. Dang, dude. You are a lean 215. You're a big man. How old are you? You look young. I'm 23. All right. Oh, wow. Yep. Young, dumb, full of other guys come. Send us your send us your address and we'll send you a case of fitted. Hey, you ever beat Lauren, Gabby and workouts over there?

I ain't gonna lie, I got him a couple times. All right. and Gabby and workouts over there? Hey I ain't gonna lie, I got him a couple times. Alright good, not a boy, not a boy. Hey that's one out of every ten baby. One out of ten, not bad. Alright. Appreciate y'all. Good to see you, tell Ben we love him a little bit but he needs to try. Yeah appreciate y'all. Alright later bro. God he sounds so Virginia Beach. I don't even know how to like articulate any better than that That guy sounds like what they sound like dude. I mean, it's just a different kind of like fucking

Country ghetto accent. Yeah. Yeah pretty much It's interesting how he didn't say a bro once when he was fatigue Yeah, I wake up every Saturday. I go out of them. They're going to knock the bra out of them. Bra-less. We will be back with a final contestant. If anyone has any balls, if you don't have balls and you want to get balls, go to Sentinel Training. They will sell you a set of balls.

They'll give you the seat for 12 weeks to grow a pair. And I'm giving these out, these cards, they have a you this and you can do all the other 12 weeks to grow a pair and I'm giving these out these cards They have a little code on the back. I can't show you that but it's for a free month at the games you are I'll probably come and find you nobody gives a shit enough about me to come find me. So I'll just be handing them out See you guys at the games. All right guys, we'll be back in a couple minutes if you're interested in winning the $500, please Please please please Texas ASAP. I really got a lot of shit to do and start packing. So if you want to win the 500 bucks, we'll see you in a minute and 16 seconds.

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People are just not strong enough as Tanner would say. Yeah, they didn't crush. Wow. That was a crushed. Wow that was a really short commercial. Man it's long. I feel taken advantage of by the adaptive divisions. Is that an English guy putting on an American accent or an American guy putting on an English accent that's reading that? You could meet the guy whose voice that is September 19th through the 22nd in San Antonio Texas and you can talk to him and be like hey the videos too long and We don't believe your accent

Hey, you know what's actually funny about this workout is it is it proves exactly Yeah, you don't give a fuck about this show you That was really that was really enlightening great Go ahead take two Taylor try to say it again without a cock in your mouth go What's it prove your party ready? Your health service ready I bet both of those guys I bet both of those guys have bigger one RM numbers than than me, like deadlift, squat, bench, press, but none of them move as efficiently as me.

And so it's the productive application of force. That's what strength is not. Opposing external force, object, load. Sorry, Tanner, bro. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Sorry, I said it was funny. Taylor, you know what I'm surprised about during that debate, dude, that you never brought up

was just the simple energy systems. And we have three of them. And if you're deficient in any one energy system or the switching from glycolytic to oxidative is the most important gear you could switch from. And without having metabolic conditioning introduced, you do not have the ability to be competent in all energy systems in the gear switching between the two. Well, I didn't really get a chance to bring any of that up because he was retarded and he didn't understand anything I was talking about. Semantics, brother. You just gotta have your own line of argument. I just would have been like, hey, dude, you're only working in one pathway.

What about the other two? And then what's the most important pathway? Bro, dude, dude. Bro, dude, known drug user, dude, bro. This is what Daniel is what a Daniel Brandon has to say about what Susie just said. See, when she agrees with that was some deep shit. Oh my god, that's disgusting. That's, that's nastier, honestly, than the, than the audio clip of shit coming out of my butt. Oh, yeah, where is that one? Wait, you don't necessarily need that one guys

Live audio Taylor before That was Taylor just moments before he performed the work I was actually during the workout Did they tell you that I actually had diarrhea at 10 to the five? This morning? Yeah. Did they tell you that? No, but I just, I just have diarrhea. No, you still have diarrhea now if you had it this morning.

Yeah. No, no, no. Yes. I am still doing meat and fruit and like five minutes before the workout, I was like, Oh, fuck, and I went into the bathroom and just did that exact sound bite. That's disgusting. That's actually, that's real. I'm surprised you didn't send a video.

People in the comments, that is real. That's a real sound bite from me. That's all. Holy shit. This keeps number seven from Sam. Oh my goodness. All right guys, we do have one more contestant. Nice.

At least one more. Bring her in. Her? Her? Her name is Hans. No dude named Hans is being used for fuck's sake. She's gotta be Hans from Kill kill Tony stumbling on the wrong side Wait, or from die hard. Yeah, imagine naming your kid

What's wrong with Hans Chelsea Miller great point, you know Taylor if you were stronger you wouldn't have diarrhea. Oh, yeah, true true true, dude, bro You know what helps holding in your diarrhea, a strong pelvic floor, you know, build a strong pelvic floor, the exercise. Oh, wow. Thank you. Like how I strung together. Are we actually are we actually sponsored by them yet? Very soon. Oh, shit. I still haven't even tried it, dude. Do you know how to lie? But hey, did you put it on your nose? Did you put it on your nose, Stefan? Hey, I did. What, you can tell?

It's longer for sure, bro. You can put it on my nose, the x-ray. I'm thinking about demos at the Heat 1 booth. It's an activation for the Penis Pump Company. Come on down. You're kidding, demos? Hey dude, I haven't even opened dude, I'm afraid to open it. It's why what happens?

I'm afraid you're tempted. Hey, the boxes they got a kitchen counter. It's just a stare down every morning as he walks. Magnetic seals to his nose. He's afraid if he opens it, he'll accidentally trip off, land his dick in it and use it daily. He's afraid it'll fucking suck to his face. I have a problem.

I looked up some videos on it and I didn't actually... Oh, I bet you did. But what was amazing is that the first video that comes up is Nick Andre. I had two dudes. It says, oh no, they're, wait, oh, they all came up on porn sites when I looked it up just now. There was one on YouTube and the title was You Don't Put Your Balls In It. They did know.

They did know. They did know. That's an over-sure. Yeah, users, what is manual right there? Oh my goodness, let me use it for my only fans. Oh, that would be amazing. Can you one? Yeah, we will definitely send you one camera camera text me later with your address. I'll have one sent to you. That would be awesome. Dude. He could do a demo. What if

he did a demo but then for the we played on the show but it's just one big black sensor block over the whole thing blurt out. Yeah, guys. Yeah. And then black sensor block over the whole thing. We just blurt it out. Yeah. Nice. Yeah. You always see the product and then you don't see the product. Or just his body with a bigger and bigger shadow. I did use it on my, I prolapsed my anus earlier today using the exercise just to check it's suction power. And then guys, if you do use it, it ends up sleeping with five women in one day.

Call a doctor because those side effects aren't exactly usual, but are common. Very common. Yes. And from my own personal experience, don't be afraid if you use it and it says error penis not detected. You just have to move it around. Didn't they send you an extra large failure? Dude, they sent me a size where I could stick my forearm in it.

Two dudes, one pump. That'll be the name of one of our shows. Debbie, were you giving out tooth powder at the games? Fuck no. But if you're smart, go over to Doc Spartan, look at the Metutian powder. All the reviews are absolutely insane. We're just going to be giving out key bumps of the powder. You just got to see me and I like key it onto your toothbrush for you when you come by.

Oh wow. No, I use my pinky nail. Yeah, you're pinky nail. Dude, just a little mini toothbrush and you just like get a little one hitter, little gummy, you know what I'm saying? Yum. Great commercial. He acted like we were smuggling drugs and he like opens one and.

My tooth. Yeah. Taylor could take a baggie out of his ass. Our contestant is parking and making his way into the gym. I think it's a he. Is this John? It's John. I thought it was a girl. I wear Sentinel shirt to clean up. Wow. I like it. Okay Cory Pulido, two-time sponsor of the KillTailor show. Good to see you Cory Scott and sponsor of Shut Up and S scribble. Oh he does? Mm-hmm.

Yep. Scott Poole and Sentinel and Proven are the same kind of training. There you go. We're only the same kind of training in the sense that I'm a better coach than Shane, so he copies everything that I do. But aside from that, totally different. Breaking news. Oh wow, CrossFit integrated the Matuthian with the Exerciser. But aside from that, totally different. Breaking news. Oh, wow.

Cross fat integrated the metoothian with the exerciser. He says my penis never wither since putting the powder in my pump. Wow. True. No, it's never been whiter, not wither. Oh, oh, oh. Penis is one of my favorite words. Yeah, that's what you do to make your penis wither.

Penis not detected. Thank you. Breeding is my... Oh, I wore my Weebus yesterday. Hans, come on, buddy. He's setting up. What's Weebus, Hans? Yeah, what is Weebus?

I meant to ask that last night. Weebus on your mom's list. I think it's a men's group. A men's group? A men's group? A men's group? If your wife says stuff to you publicly like you're compliant, I have a really compliant husband, you need to go to Weedle. You're on the shortlist.

Yeah. They'll help you fix that. That's our men's group here. Don't confuse it. Hey, I'm going to have t-shirts at the games, but I'm not selling them because I'm pretty sure I got copyrights. I'll get some kind of complaint. It's basically like the Patagonia logo, but I just changed the word from Patagonia to my show name. So if anyone's at the games and wants a t-shirt, if I happen to have one in your size, I'll

give you one. Good luck. Hey, Peter, shut up. Hey, Peter and Tyler, shut up for one second. Yes, Michael Mollo, we do welcome live viewers for kill Taylor We've had several at the gym. So if you ever want to show up show up Yeah show up to Taylor's house or my house today. Yeah I'll drop my addy in the chat. Hey, I really like that I would really really like that too. That would be the preferred thing. If you are in the Charlotte area, just show up on Saturday. Ideally DM Taylor first, but just show up to CrossFit Charlotte on Saturday, eight o'clock. You can watch Taylor go and you can just go on the same equipment he did. That would

be absolutely amazing. More people who do that the better. Yeah. Oh, so what do we know about Texas, Taylor? Where are we doing the workout on Saturday? When are we? Thursday? I don't know when we're doing the workout. I don't. I don't know where we're doing the workout. No fucking idea. Okay. I would prefer to do it. Um, Wednesday.

Wednesday. No way. I'm not going Saturday then Wednesday. Uh, Saturday. Why is that what you know? It's not Lizzie talking to you. It's, um, it's me. Taylor only trains once trains once a week you know fuck twice in a week hey fuck fuck off fuck off I don't I'm not gonna do it after driving ten hours on Wednesday

Lizzie I won't go again on Wednesday we just did it on Saturday we just did it the the the the the the the the the the

the the the the I will fuck in the morning and in the afternoon. That's how I roll. I was right out. Oh my goodness. Okay, calling. Oh calling. Okay, here he comes. It comes. Jesus, this guy, if this guy didn't text me 30 times, he'd already be on the show. Fuck's sake.

Hans, colon, colon burger. A lot of hype here. A lot of hype. He has a burger for a Kolen. Hans Kolen burger. Our last contestant. Over the one hour mark. On 20 minutes of it, we're waiting for this dickhead.

Yeah. Yeah. Everyone else is afraid today. I understand. Why do you think you think, why do you think, do you think people are scared of the a hundred one 50 Taylor? Is that what's going on? What implemented, no, I think it's what implemented I chewed. Wait, what? Ask that again. It's the sandbags hearing them the most,

the sandbag, the skier or the biker. Oh, just the Just I think the fact that they know the workout is a painful workout. There's nowhere to really hide Dude imagine driving this far to go to the fucking post office to get a Christmas gift. You are fucking cheap Hey, fuck you. I'm not driving. I'm not driving to a fucking post office. I'm driving I'm not driving. I'm driving you fucker. You're driving 30 minutes to buy a get a fucking $12. I'm driving to a gun shop. I'm not driving. I'm picking up a gun, you fucker. You're driving 30 minutes to buy a, to get a fucking $12. There's no way someone will sell you a gun. Yeah, actually Lizzie has to buy it in her name. But not because I'm a felon. It's because it's, it's the shops in South Carolina and she has a South Carolina license The other credit cards are in Lizzy's name. I don't have credit cards, bro. No shit. No, I don't do credit cards, dude. That's sketchy

kiss the bank will give him one Wow, hey wipe your camera off it looks like you got a little cum on it the camera or do you want me to turn the phone around? We just want you to go. Do both. Stu's in this gym somewhere. I can feel it. The vibe's the same. Yeah. Whoever's FaceTiming me, you've got to stop. What are you doing?

Stop. Stop FaceTiming. Someone's FaceTiming you? Yeah, on the workflow. It's Cameron trying to show you him using the penis pump. OK, sorry. FaceTime me again. I've never seen that color on a CrossFit gym wall.

Mm. What is it, like violet? Mauve, yeah. Yeah, that's kind of like a plum purple they got going on there. They got a lot of them. Hey, what are all those medals on the wall behind you above that door?

They're Spartan Race medals from a bunch of members we did a Spartan Race together. You have no chance, Spartan guys. No. Are you the gym owner? What'd you say? Are you the gym owner? What did you say? Are you the gym owner? Yes, sir.

Hey, what ethnicity are you? Are you Asian? German. You're German? There it is. You are off. Look at his fucking eyes. What is this guy? This guy is not German. Look at his eyes. Did the German capture your family in World War II and brought them over? German.

Your family in World War II and brought them over. Yeah. How did you miss the cleansing in forty five or. Look at even this guy knows it's it's Genghis Khan. There's no fucking way this guy is German. I know. Yeah. I come here.

You look like a juiced up samurai who got a haircut. Oh German and Filipino. Oh. the- I know yeah I come here you're like you look like a juiced up samurai who got a haircut German and Filipino. Okay you're right let's go on let's do it on yeah sure we'll go for you guys got the timer right yes sir yeah that bag is

not as heavy as it feels. Let's hanzo this. What was the time? 531 531 and then what's the workout? Oh my god! Oh my god! I'm driving here. I didn't say that. 40 cal's on the bike erg. 20 sandbag to the shoulder.

40 cal's on the skier. 20 sandbags to the shoulder 40 pounds on the skier 20 sandbags to the shoulder So all you gotta remember is biker bag Skier bag 40 20 bags your bag and then take your hands off It's not gonna matter for you Just try to survive The guy who's afraid of apples somebody in the comments said somebody in the comments that this guy is definitely in recovery He's tall he's tall. He is tall

Wow look it's another Asian in the comment that my fucking coach Run oh My goodness CrossFit 2012 vibes here. Totally. What are we doing? Watching a moment. That bag's cool. I haven't seen the camel one yet.

Oh, wow. Somebody said CrossFit Bolt is near Dickie's Arena and that we should do Kill Taylor at Rebecca Fusseliers. Oh, there you go. There you go. House Munchkin. Give us a thumbs up. Are you ready? T-Bever in the house with the timer. the I can speak German

Don't see any bag there's one there there's one there Yeah, buddy, we're ready when you are, thank you I'm not trying to get this guy's huge. All right. I preloaded the cows. We good. Yeah. Nobody ready when you are. Thank you. All right. I'll have someone behind the clock, say 10, 9, 8, and then counting. All right. Thank you. That guy's like, though, he was good. I don't I don't feel good about this, Taylor. Yeah, he looks good. Oh my god

Like a make 25 seconds. Yeah We're off. All right 144 it's time to be on the bike. Wow. He's already the fastest on the bike for sure by far No one else is doing that looks aggressive. Yep, very aggressive. Well, yeah, that's not the workout. All right. So says the program. It's part of the workout. Hey, whoever's manning the phone, you make sure you tell them the numbers. It's 40 cows on the skier and then 20 on the bag. Help a brother out. 40, 20, 40, 20. Elevator don't go all the way up on this one Hans Hans Hans Kolenberger Hans Kim Hans comes in the great nation of Germany in the Philippines Out of oh shit

What what uh what Jim is that look at the comment look at Molo, please this comment What's the name of the gym OLCF I have an idea for kill terror the panelists should guess Taylor's time before and the furthest off has to do the workout immediately after No, fuck you. Okay Rest a bunch of on the camera 123 he's off 20 seconds before Taylor He's right there with Nick one, oh he looks like he's not under any pressure.

Three. Four. Five. Six. Damn, he's moving. Seven. Does he have to do his hand like that? Eight.

Yep. He's got a real thick in the wrist there, doesn't he? Ten. Yeah, he's going to break it. There's 11. If he gets through this set, I'm broken. 12, 13. He's a little too good at the wrist flick. 14, 15. Wow.

Okay. First little knee bend. There you go. That's all right. 18. Taylor came off at 233. Taylor came off at 233. Wow. Holy shit. 20. Wow. Oh. All right. Here's. 20. Wow. Here's the test. Holy shit. Jesus. He's hurting. He's hurting. How far ahead of the time is he right now? Do we know? He was like, he's like 15 seconds. 15, 20 seconds. Yeah. Wow. Wow.

Yeah. My nuts are in my stomach right now. He's moving. I'm telling you though, it did come down to that last set of sandbags and those last three, he was making some adjustments. Time to beat here is 442. 442. He was 20 seconds ahead, I think, when he got onto the skier.

Let's see if he can maintain that lead. You could say he's on pace. No, sorry. He was 20 seconds ahead. I think when he got on to the skier, let's see if he can maintain that lead You could say he's on pace. No, sorry. He was 18 seconds 18 seconds That's real fitness Hans you can use that $500 for your dental insurance. He's beating up. What do you think he's pulling right now? He's pulling 17? Yeah, it looks aggressive. No he's not, you fucking arse-hard. Hey no one pulled this hard, he's going for it.

He's pulling 15 plus for sure. He's going for it. 1250 to 15. Hey will you go look at his monitor for us it looks like it's on a tripod they can barely use a phone she's gonna accidentally hang up this is like Bryson's camera work here thank you nothing okay all right all right thank you slowed down on purpose. Pro. He didn't want to. Time to come off is 442.

If he comes off anywhere after 424, he's lost some time. Oh, shit. What were you pulling, Taylor? Like 600? Go on. 410. You got 32 seconds to get off the speeder. Uh-oh.

You better do it faster than that. That bag's going to slam him down. You better tell him he's got do it faster than that. That bag's gonna slam him down. You better tell him he's gotta go faster than that. He's only got about three quarters left. That was his most comfortable piece. Holy shit. Oh shit. 20.

Oh he's hurt. Why is the clock clock? Why is the clock clock? What the fuck? Caleb! Caleb! Caleb! Caleb's frozen! He's frozen! Fucking starling. Oh my god! Caleb! Caleb! Caleb! Caleb's frozen! He's frozen! He's frozen! He's frozen! Fucking starling off! Oh my fucking god! What? 3

4 5 4 3 4 5 5 He's 5 rips ahead of Taylor!

Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! 7 7

Let's go! Pick it up! 8 8 8 Take off, boy! 8 8

9 9 9 9 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 11 11 Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 48, 49, 50, 50, 50, 51, 52, 53, 53, 54, 55, 55, 56, 56, 57, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, 58, Holy shit! Damn! Hans did it! Wow! It's the end of the show now. That's what we do! That's what we get for close to 40 minutes. Wow! Wow, wow, wow.

Ah! Damn! Damn, both blonde hair, blue eyed Aryans sure can't move a sample pack. The master race! The master race. Oh my god. $500. Oh, fuck you, Hans. $500 from the Adaptive CrossFit Games, which will be in San Antonio, Texas, from September 19th to the 22nd.

Thank you, Wheelwad. Hans, good job, dude! Hans, that was amazing. Hey, thanks. Oh, shit. Thanks for taking so long. I know the show, you want to have it keep rolling, but I was driving to the gym. Hey, Hans, do you have two teeth growing behind your front two teeth? No.

You have four teeth. I had a friend like that in school where he had four. You do have that. Hey, can you can you eat an apple through a tennis racket? No, for an apple through a tennis racket. Holy fuck. And go get a dentist. The most uncomfortable. What's your last name? I'm not going to cover shit. Hey, dude, that was fucking incredible.

You did that. Did you know how you were going to attack that? Ahead of time? Did you on the drive over? Did you know how you were going to attack it? Absolutely. I knew that the sandbags, I knew I had the ability to touch and go all of them. And so that's what I just that's what I was going to do. How did you know? Did you just see the sandbag and then no, I don't care what the workout is, I'm going to turn up and win that because you didn't know the workout at the start.

I didn't know the workout. I was watching you guys when I was driving here. And then I saw that there was a sandbag and I saw that there were some machines and I was like well fuck Taylor fucked up I got a chance Hey How did you know that the other guys the 150 pounds was just tossing them around if it broke them? How did you know it wasn't gonna break you? You bags heavy, but I wait to a five and I'm a big guy. So I know I can move the sandbag pretty well. And how did you do? How did you do finals? How did I what? How did you do in quarterfinals?

Before I got dinged with the penalties. I was no first sitting where Germany forty first forty one. Oh, what age group in Germany how old are you I'm 27 oh he's younger than me dude that's crazy looks like he's 30 12. 30 12. That's South Carolina talk. Where did you fall after the penalties? Where did you fall after the penalties? Oh after the penalties like 100 and it was like 130

131 maybe? In the East? No no no. Do you Venmo? Oh yeah Venmo is cool. Okay. Hey will you send me your name and address and your Venmo to the phone that you text in? Okay, and one thing and one thing that you don't you didn't know about the show is that actually if you win you get every Dick pic that I've sent to our group chat. So just be on the lookout for those two

One so you'll get one. Pedro's wife is watching, she's concerned. Taylor, I want the one that your buddy put on your family fucking little Facebook portal thing. Oh, he wants the tux pick? Okay, wow. That one's iconic, I want that. The patch of killing. OK. Hey, brother. Thank you so much.

You're an absolute beast. Thanks for coming on the show. You're an animal. Thanks, dude. Thank you. That was another win for Europe. He's killed people or he's fucked somebody up so bad they don't breathe anymore. It looks like he's been in prison for a long time. Yeah. I agree. Yeah. He's only 27 so not that long. No I bet like 17 years.

Yeah I agree. Hey do you want to see the coolest part about South Carolina? Check this out. Where's my camera? We're looking at it. It's you dude. You're the only cool thing. Is it their grasp of technology see that peach yeah one life one life crossfit in Maria South care or uh Maria California hey that since since Taylor can remember every time he drives by that he gets excited like that's something you get excited when you drive by when you're four years old and he still gets Taylor self you demand. Thank you so much everyone who jumped in. Thank you for the workout. Hans, you're an absolute fucking animal. That was a tough one. We will see you... Seve, are you going to replace Taylor? Only with your mom. We will see you guys very soon. We'll be making announcements of when the next skill, Taylor, is. The frequency of shows will be increasing.

Gil Taylor is, the frequency of shows will be increasing. Taylor and JR will be manning the ship for daily shows at the CrossFit Games. We do have, I'm excited that we do have Annie Thor's daughter and Rich Froning on the hook for very soon upcoming shows. And tomorrow, let me see, Sunday, no guests yet, so that might be fun just to talk about Kamala and Monday The boys JR and Taylor will be manning the ship at 7 a.m. As I make the journey over to Dickies Charlie Watkins from the heat one app Pedro white from coffee paws and wads

See beaver from Starlink That's Tuesday from CrossFit Livermore executive Thank you. Love you guys. Talk to you guys soon. Bye. Bye